Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys we guys, we book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm CORRENN. We're sorry about last night the
Speaker 1: anti slut shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello, fucker's Welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode Guys We Fucked. It is the anti
Speaker 1: slut shaming podcast. I'm corren I'm Christina, and uh one
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Speaker 1: mouthful and I'm sorry. I would have been should have
Speaker 1: been better at reading that. Are you sayes live? Guys?
Speaker 1: See you in Portland's Oregon not? I mean sorry, We're
Speaker 1: in you tonight. We are bringing the Bridget Bishop Tour
Speaker 1: to Helium Comedy Club. We're gonna be in tonight and
Speaker 1: tomorrow April seven. Uh, you should come see us. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be really fun if it hasn't sold out already.
Speaker 1: And then after that we're gonna be in St. Louis,
Speaker 1: Missouri at the Helium Comedy Club there. That's Thursday, April
Speaker 1: ninete through Saturday April one, um, and again after that
Speaker 1: we're gonna be in Indiapolis, Indianapolis at Mortis Comedy Joint
Speaker 1: for all additional dates that we've mentioned and ticket links
Speaker 1: go to start worry about last night comedy dot com
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Speaker 1: I don't know what the fun that was. That was
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Speaker 1: what's what? There's just Oh I didn't send either. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: second email, but this is oh, okay, I didn't see that. Um, guys,
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Speaker 1: the one that goes in the overhead. Been it's the
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Speaker 1: twenty dollars off your away suitcase. You know what that
Speaker 1: reminded me of, which we didn't talk about in the
Speaker 1: last week's episode, because the cave Cave woman girl always
Speaker 1: saw where does poor girls get a lot of press
Speaker 1: that she didn't ask for? He knows her name, and honestly,
Speaker 1: if someone identifies her based off of this description, she
Speaker 1: looks too much. Yeah, we saw this girl. We went
Speaker 1: court and I went in North Carolina to fucking child.
Speaker 1: She's a child. And you know this is a part
Speaker 1: of the podcast where we just neg a child. You
Speaker 1: know what? The you know what? When I was a
Speaker 1: kid and my mom was away, not those suitcase she
Speaker 1: was away on her own accord, but also she has
Speaker 1: stuff going on. But um, I couldn't call my hair
Speaker 1: because I didn't know how. My dad was like, you
Speaker 1: got it right because you had curly hair. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I was like I was like Christina, just put a
Speaker 1: comb through, I know, but it was hard because it
Speaker 1: was curly hair. My hair get like madded and I
Speaker 1: would go to school and I just put it up
Speaker 1: in a clip and I'd be like, someone have to
Speaker 1: chop off my hair. Wait, did you get made fun
Speaker 1: of because you showed up to school like that? Now
Speaker 1: because I've hit it in a clip, I mean maybe
Speaker 1: I got made fun of, but honestly behind your back, yeah,
Speaker 1: like the good way to get made fun I can't
Speaker 1: hear it, but knowing you, sometimes people probably were just
Speaker 1: making county remarks and you'd be like that's a compliment.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true. Oh you like the max in my
Speaker 1: hair thin, yo. I know, hey, I had dreads before
Speaker 1: it was on accident. It was accident because I couldn't
Speaker 1: call my hair. Oh oh, so nature's dreads. I got it.
Speaker 1: I was like, unintended dreads? Did you have dread laws
Speaker 1: when my mom was you know, not doing so well.
Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, dad's aren't great at cobon hair.
Speaker 1: Alfred's currently stuck in the podcast like I was stuck
Speaker 1: in my own hair. But anyway, this girl, we're on
Speaker 1: one of those tilted whirl rides were you know, it's
Speaker 1: like yeah, and uh, this girl she was sitting in
Speaker 1: front of us with her mom. I'm assuming, and she
Speaker 1: looks behind where she was kidnapped. Oh my god, and
Speaker 1: she looked and like the sound that she was like
Speaker 1: like and her hair looked like the little boy in
Speaker 1: Dreassic Park after he gets electrocuted by the wire. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, you got comb her hair? That was it.
Speaker 1: But it just stood out so much in my brain
Speaker 1: that I was like, man, yeah, because like you gotta
Speaker 1: get cold. You never want to raise a child, especially
Speaker 1: a young girl kind of like value on evaluing esthetics
Speaker 1: as like this primary thing. But then also you like,
Speaker 1: come on, you got a sex growing in her head.
Speaker 1: You gotta comb her hair, comb her hair, and she
Speaker 1: did have a mustache. But someone will tell her later, Yeah,
Speaker 1: or they won't. You'll find out why. Someone will definitely
Speaker 1: tell her. I hope. So kids are helpful, Like I
Speaker 1: felt like I had to rescue that kid, but I
Speaker 1: had no grounds to other than her hair. Was just
Speaker 1: the theme park. She well, yeah, that's true, And it
Speaker 1: wasn't like a special day. Was the first day it
Speaker 1: was open. You know, I'm saying it wasn't a special
Speaker 1: day like where they let people because they feel bad.
Speaker 1: This is not gonna this this, this segment of the
Speaker 1: podcast definitely gonna come back to buy. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what, We're not perfect people. We're human beings and
Speaker 1: we're comedians, so sometimes we see human in dark places.
Speaker 1: This is the state of comedy. Wherever you make a
Speaker 1: joke and then you gotta go that was sorry, we
Speaker 1: were joking. Sorry, I'm not sorry. I'm sorry that girl
Speaker 1: would have a comb. Yeah, well I'm sorry for I
Speaker 1: should gone CVS girl comb. All right, Hey, if you
Speaker 1: want to email us about your sex problem him whatever.
Speaker 1: Sorry about last night show at gmail dot com. We're
Speaker 1: gonna read one email and then get to it. The
Speaker 1: subject line is walked straight into this bank bank. Okay,
Speaker 1: Hi Current and Christina. I don't want to start off
Speaker 1: with a love your work comment, but honestly, when my
Speaker 1: friends need something from me, i'd rather they just ask
Speaker 1: instead of being nice to me first. Doesn't mean I
Speaker 1: don't love your work, but I digress. What okay, whatever,
Speaker 1: So let me get to the point. Thank you. Today
Speaker 1: I was on my boyfriend's computer, but he left his
Speaker 1: virtual spank bank open. In this case, it's an Instagram
Speaker 1: account he uses. He uses to follow sex workers. Oh,
Speaker 1: I see, okay, I guess he like my ex his
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend's Instagram account. Oh you know if your boyfriend's
Speaker 1: jerking off the pictures of his ex. Yeah, that's sucked up,
Speaker 1: but whatever. I guess he uses it for inspiration. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think he makes sure to use
Speaker 1: a different browser for these kinds of things, so these
Speaker 1: worlds never collide. But now he accidentally left it open.
Speaker 1: I was fine with the thought of him watching porn,
Speaker 1: but this was a bit too visual for my liking.
Speaker 1: I never watched porn for me A random uh, sorry
Speaker 1: for me? A rom Calm honestly does a lot more.
Speaker 1: The intimacy of soft core stuff really gets me off.
Speaker 1: Good for you. My reaction shocked me too, But my
Speaker 1: stomach turned, hearts started beating fast, and I burst into tears.
Speaker 1: After this, I texted my boyfriend how rom coms? Yeah?
Speaker 1: After this, I texted my boyfriend that this happened, and
Speaker 1: that I closed the browser and didn't look into his history. YadA, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: Then I soberly chained smoked five cigarettes, which is a
Speaker 1: first five. Oh my god? Well wait, like, wait, is
Speaker 1: she a smoker or did she just become a smoker
Speaker 1: in that because I think she did, yeah, or she
Speaker 1: only smokes when she drinks, is what I get from it. Now, lately,
Speaker 1: I've been feeling so well in the mental health department,
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend and I are not having a lot
Speaker 1: of sex. Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't been healing. I
Speaker 1: can really got to learn how to read, y'all. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start that sounds over and this time I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take my time and read all the words correct. Do
Speaker 1: you want to do? You want to get you cards?
Speaker 1: Or like sounded out? Yes. Now, lately, I haven't been
Speaker 1: feeling well so well in the mental health department, and
Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I are not having a lot of sex.
Speaker 1: We discussed this and he's very supportive. But there, I'm
Speaker 1: not having sex, sir, just the fact that she's not
Speaker 1: doing well. I support your decision to not fun because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go jerk off these girls on Instagram. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's how life works. But there I sat behind his
Speaker 1: desk about to cram my brain for school. She even
Speaker 1: writes like she's writing, oh man, that you're just roasting
Speaker 1: you now. Yeah, but it's okay looking for looking very
Speaker 1: unshaven and unsexy, feeling very unsexy and not quite like
Speaker 1: my best self, and then this happens. That makes sense,
Speaker 1: That's why it hit harder than usual, beauty. My confidence
Speaker 1: just shattered, and I was a mess, thinking I wasn't
Speaker 1: enough and that my boyfriend has all these sexual kinks
Speaker 1: and desires I cannot fulfill. I tried studying for about
Speaker 1: an hour, and I'm opening an Instagram right now. You're
Speaker 1: on Instagram. You're a person. That's the difference between fantasy
Speaker 1: and reality. Anyway. I tried studying for about an hour,
Speaker 1: and then my boyfriend came back early from school to
Speaker 1: console me. We talked about it, and he ensured me
Speaker 1: that I'm definitely good enough for him, and he totally
Speaker 1: understood why I was so shook. Honestly, my rational human
Speaker 1: forebrain is fine with this, but my lizard brain is
Speaker 1: going full speed ahead and making me feel all kinds
Speaker 1: of wild emotions. Do you have any kind of advice
Speaker 1: for how to deal with these kinds of feelings? Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening and anything about this email airs. I'd
Speaker 1: like to keep my name private, and that's okay because
Speaker 1: I didn't read you name. Um. I mean, it's hitting
Speaker 1: what he did is okay. How would you feel if
Speaker 1: James created an Instagram account specifically to look at falsex work.
Speaker 1: I mean, I assume he already has. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you look, if you look at whose he's following on Twitter,
Speaker 1: like public Lady. I mean, it is my boyfriend's perv city,
Speaker 1: it's literally just like huge boobs, purchase boobs, natural boobs.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's just it's did a lot mostly
Speaker 1: sex whem. I no one's more positive about sex workers
Speaker 1: than James Myers. I gotta say he's really supporting the community.
Speaker 1: Definitely an sest um. I mean, yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 1: I like, I it was so bad that I just
Speaker 1: made fun of him one time and I was like,
Speaker 1: can you can you maybe just like like write a
Speaker 1: list of who it is and then just go to
Speaker 1: there instead of like actually following them so that I
Speaker 1: look like a chump right right right at a certain point,
Speaker 1: like you look like a chump? Yeah? Does he like
Speaker 1: the tweets or comment? I don't like it? Yeah, he has,
Speaker 1: like the post He's like, oh but I'm friends with her? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You do? You want to favorite TV show funk Face
Speaker 1: in Living Color reboot? Oh that it never aired, so
Speaker 1: you're guilty. Oh my god, Yeah that didn't ever. Good
Speaker 1: good reminder. That's so sad um. We should have a
Speaker 1: TV show. But yeah, I mean because I mean, I
Speaker 1: think there still is a certain level of embarrassment that
Speaker 1: some people feel in like looking at the work of
Speaker 1: sex workers, which is so I mean, they want you
Speaker 1: to follow them, and they do, but I understand, like
Speaker 1: it's like if you you know, you know, maybe that's
Speaker 1: not like especially because some of them show nude pick nudies,
Speaker 1: but like especially because on like all social media, you
Speaker 1: can see who other people are following. I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: like that either, especially because I'm fighting a riot in
Speaker 1: your head. It's also like you don't you don't know
Speaker 1: the reasoning why. You know, maybe it's like maybe you're
Speaker 1: following someone because it's like keep your enemies close. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're following someone because you're trying to be like I
Speaker 1: follow and Culture, but like if someone wants I don't
Speaker 1: want them to think that, like I just love everything,
Speaker 1: and Culture says, I follow and Culture because she's someone
Speaker 1: who is outspoken and kind of amuses me on the
Speaker 1: like what I will call the other side, and because
Speaker 1: I'm doing this John Wronson approach of like looking at
Speaker 1: people whose opinions differ from me. So but it's like
Speaker 1: you can't just look at that and then make a
Speaker 1: bunch of opinions about a person, right, But this the writer,
Speaker 1: the reader, the writer, listener, person who wrote us this
Speaker 1: email your boyfriend. You said you haven't been feeling great
Speaker 1: and you're not having sex, and that's how your boyfriend
Speaker 1: gets off. It's just like, you know, he didn't do
Speaker 1: it to piss you off, but also honestly, it's kind
Speaker 1: of impressive that he hit it from you that long
Speaker 1: but not taking seriously and then that he accidentally left
Speaker 1: it open. He obviously it didn't seem like he did
Speaker 1: that on purpose to hurt your feelings, but like he's
Speaker 1: gonna at jerk off. Well, my boyfriend and I are
Speaker 1: go through a phase. If we're not fucking, he's looking
Speaker 1: at porn probably when I'm in the house. I understand
Speaker 1: that it's fine. I'm not sucking him like and even
Speaker 1: when we are fucking, he's still doing it of course whatever,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, it's not that big
Speaker 1: of a deal. And you just need to tell yourself
Speaker 1: that you're taking it hard because you're not feeling your
Speaker 1: best self and I understand that. Um, but you're just
Speaker 1: gonna have to, you know, focus on instead of focusing
Speaker 1: on that and how upsets you, focus on how you
Speaker 1: can feel better about yourself in this moment in time,
Speaker 1: Like what and you do? What? Why do you feel
Speaker 1: so gross or unsexy? What about it? Maybe working out?
Speaker 1: Maybe it's gonna take like a week, but maybe like
Speaker 1: go for a run in the morning, do something proactive
Speaker 1: for you that you can feel good about. I know
Speaker 1: this was like, this is gonna be the most basic
Speaker 1: bitch advice I've ever given the in the history of guys.
Speaker 1: We fucked, but this after this email, I was just
Speaker 1: like a girl, give me a spa day, like and
Speaker 1: I know everyone doesn't have money for that, and I
Speaker 1: know you're a student, but like they do do student discounts,
Speaker 1: groupons a lot of stuff like you shouldn't do. You
Speaker 1: need a day to do something that makes you feel um,
Speaker 1: like sexy, wel kempt and um, kind of in touch
Speaker 1: with your body and like like a massage and like
Speaker 1: a wax like those kind of things. Really do that
Speaker 1: And like, listen, when I'm on a budget, you can
Speaker 1: go to one of those Asian places and it does.
Speaker 1: It does the trick just as well, honestly. And you
Speaker 1: can spend you know, fifty bucks or you can you know,
Speaker 1: obviously you can spend hundreds of dollars whatever you want,
Speaker 1: but just something that where you get in touch with
Speaker 1: your body. You know, maybe you put on makeup for
Speaker 1: no reason, you put on a nice outfit. You go
Speaker 1: even if you're just don't have any money and you
Speaker 1: window shop. You just try on some nice stresses that
Speaker 1: you know you're not gonna buy, but like you just
Speaker 1: feel like get in touch with your body, um, either
Speaker 1: by yourself or with some girlfriends. I would say, is
Speaker 1: the appropriate kind of set up for this um? And
Speaker 1: your boyfriend seems to be a very understanding person or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my number one problem with this email was that he
Speaker 1: looks at Instagram on a regular computer. Who does asshole
Speaker 1: looking it at your phone? You can have multiple counsel
Speaker 1: and normal. I mean, you know, that's just weird. Well,
Speaker 1: but that's you know, maybe he doesn't have a phone.
Speaker 1: He does, he does. Hey, our guests this week also
Speaker 1: has a phone, and she has a podcast, and she's
Speaker 1: a comedian. She's a comedian. She's co host of The
Speaker 1: Hot Mess Comedy Hour, which is a podcast. You can
Speaker 1: get it anywhere that podcasts are. We're so excited, Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, please welcome our guests Andrea Allen. Yeah, cruel
Speaker 1: these other eggs. I don't lose. I don't love this yet.
Speaker 1: I've been smoking dope. But I'm cool, cool, cool, cool.
Speaker 1: We just don't say your word cruise cruise, cruise cruise.
Speaker 1: True bits, don't say your word cruise cruise, cruise, cruise
Speaker 1: cruise for these other niggers. I don't loose. I don't
Speaker 1: love it yet. I've been smoking, dolt, but I'm cool, cool,
Speaker 1: cool cool. Just don't say your word cruise cruise, cruise, cruise.
Speaker 1: Don't even speaking, cup of your eyes, don't even peking.
Speaker 1: I'm with your bitching on the d We wasn't even
Speaker 1: up under the sheets. I want my niggers we put
Speaker 1: up on creep. How many was it a hundred and three?
Speaker 1: I put them down in the front of the chief
Speaker 1: remember the time? It was nothing. They ain't Yeah, nigge
Speaker 1: switched shides. We don't know who's who who. We're rolling
Speaker 1: out with my dogs. We're just looking for buse clue.
Speaker 1: Smoking on the dope. She just ate a couple of
Speaker 1: shrewms too, took a shot at hand and she just
Speaker 1: hit another. Mold old old, don't even speak when I'm driving.
Speaker 1: I got the weed and I'm vibing. I ain't never
Speaker 1: being modest puss. He ain't got a lot of nerves
Speaker 1: back and like they want to see violence our cruise
Speaker 1: only make a move one you'll never see. I'm solid bits.
Speaker 1: Don't say your word cruise, cru cruise, cruise, cruels for
Speaker 1: these other niggas. I don't know this. I don't real this. Yes,
Speaker 1: I've been smoking dope, but I'm cool, cool, cool, cool.
Speaker 1: Just don't say your word cruise CRUs cruise, cruise cru bit.
Speaker 1: Don't say your word cruise cruise, cruise, cruise cruise for
Speaker 1: these other niggas. I don't lose. I don't real this yet.
Speaker 1: I've been smoking delt, but I'm cool, cool, clol cool.
Speaker 1: Just don't say you word cruise cruise cruise. Irre which
Speaker 1: thanks for being here and thanks for you know, living
Speaker 1: a fun life so you can come on this podcast
Speaker 1: and tell us all your stories. You're so welcome. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited. Yes, um, now she gave me. I know
Speaker 1: she talked to her Karen about it a little bit.
Speaker 1: I have some download but I'm curious, like, well, we'll
Speaker 1: get to the crazy stories. But what how did you
Speaker 1: learn about sex? Was it was it something that was
Speaker 1: always where your parents open about it? Was it treated
Speaker 1: with okay? Um? I was a very late bloomer. Um
Speaker 1: my parents weren't like, hey, what's up out? Um? My
Speaker 1: parents weren't like close minded people at all. It's just
Speaker 1: I went to an all girls school for ten years.
Speaker 1: Uh so the like socializing with boys or understanding like
Speaker 1: sex attraction at all. It is just something I was
Speaker 1: inept at. Like. It wasn't for lack of interest. I
Speaker 1: just didn't understand how to do it. Really, how do
Speaker 1: you meet boys if you go to an all girls school,
Speaker 1: like where you hang out with the all boys school
Speaker 1: guys sometimes do you have like inner media like socials
Speaker 1: where like everyone stands across each other from the room
Speaker 1: and like stairs and sweats and like their first experience
Speaker 1: with the opposite side. Yeah, I thought that only happened
Speaker 1: in movies. That's nice to know that, really, how accurate.
Speaker 1: It's very accurate. I used to. I used to also,
Speaker 1: like I would go to the public school dances sometimes,
Speaker 1: like that was my breakout into the dirty horse hang out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm like
Speaker 1: wearing a puffy vest in a long sleep. Sure, remember
Speaker 1: freaking out? Yeah? Um, But I just didn't. I wasn't
Speaker 1: like the cutest kid, and I was also very kind
Speaker 1: of odd. Um, just just like a very free spirited person,
Speaker 1: I'll say, um. And so I just didn't really have
Speaker 1: the tools or the confidence to talk to boys, and
Speaker 1: I didn't. I then went to a boarding school for
Speaker 1: high school, and it was co ed and that was yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I was still very much the freak that
Speaker 1: I was before. And everyone was like, who is this girl?
Speaker 1: Why is she talking about witchcraft? And like there was
Speaker 1: also you know, oh, she's a lesbian because she comes
Speaker 1: from an all girls school, like I got a I
Speaker 1: got a lot of that, so it seems like very
Speaker 1: like my upbringing. Yeah, I was, that's not how lesbians work,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like, oh, you're standing near women
Speaker 1: all the time, it rubs off on you. But kids
Speaker 1: are kids are dicks. Um, kids are dicks. Such dicks,
Speaker 1: and and I was also like, um, you know, I
Speaker 1: kind of dressed however where I wanted. I kind of
Speaker 1: said how like whatever I felt, which is cool and
Speaker 1: I'm happy that I was raised to be that way.
Speaker 1: But like in front of cool high school kids and
Speaker 1: boys and stuff, they're like, who's this freak show? Because
Speaker 1: conformity is kind of the thing. And of course it
Speaker 1: was like a boarding school. Everyone were like cute uniforms
Speaker 1: and they're like popular chicks. They have sex, said uh yes,
Speaker 1: but very minimal, just like banana, like condom on a banana,
Speaker 1: and like, you know, not any real discussions. And I
Speaker 1: actually I didn't kiss someone. I actually gave someone a
Speaker 1: blowjob before I kissed someone. He sat the dick before
Speaker 1: you kissed. Yeah, yeah, I was Yeah, I had. I
Speaker 1: didn't kiss someone until I was nineteen. Okay, but how
Speaker 1: old were you when you sucked a penis? Like eighteen? Um?
Speaker 1: But I started, like, I started going to parties and
Speaker 1: drinking in senior year, and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can talk to guys now, Um, which I sucked a dick,
Speaker 1: I could certainly of conversation. Yeah, I mean were they conversations?
Speaker 1: Not really a lot of belligerents. But I finally had
Speaker 1: the confidence to like even approach a guy. Um, And
Speaker 1: all my friends were like, Andrew's gonna lose your K card,
Speaker 1: as in like like kiss cards. I thought that was
Speaker 1: some kind of like a coffee cup. No, it was
Speaker 1: like a K cup. Yeah, I wish that'd be more fun, um,
Speaker 1: and so I I The first sexual experience I had
Speaker 1: was a guy who had graduated from the high school
Speaker 1: that I went to. He was in college. He was
Speaker 1: like hanging out at high school parties, which is like
Speaker 1: a red flag. You when you're in high school and
Speaker 1: that happens, you're always like that's the guy I want
Speaker 1: to make out after that, he's always red flag guy.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. I wish somebody taught high schoolers that, oh
Speaker 1: my god, don't make up with guys who were interested
Speaker 1: in you when you were like eighteen, just like having
Speaker 1: a wine cooler and you don't know what's happening. Um.
Speaker 1: But this guy had said that he was interested in me,
Speaker 1: and he was at a party and my friends were like, Andrea, um,
Speaker 1: Jordy wants to like hang out with hang out with you,
Speaker 1: Jordy shout out. And so he grabs me and we
Speaker 1: start walking around. We're in Vancouver, I'm from Canada, and
Speaker 1: we're walking around my childhood neighborhood just right casually. I'm
Speaker 1: like hammered. And he was like do you are you
Speaker 1: in birth control? And I was just like that's a
Speaker 1: weird yeah. And then he was like a pickup line
Speaker 1: of a college guy who goes to high school for
Speaker 1: the fuck, big old virgin and and then he was
Speaker 1: like are you a virgin? And I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: And in my head I'm like, oh, you have no
Speaker 1: idea how much of a virgin I am? Um? And
Speaker 1: then you don't even kiss anybody. I didn't even kiss anybody.
Speaker 1: I was freaking out, but I'm like, keep it cool,
Speaker 1: everything's casual. But like you wanted it to happen. I did.
Speaker 1: I self conscious about it. Sure, it wasn't that I
Speaker 1: wasn't interested in sex. I just didn't know how to
Speaker 1: approach people. And it had gotten so far that I
Speaker 1: hadn't kissed anybody that now I was like kind of
Speaker 1: the joke of my social group. And also that was like, oh,
Speaker 1: Andrea has crushes on every guy that she meets, because
Speaker 1: I went to an all girls school, Like there's this
Speaker 1: sort of pent up, like weirdo energy, but you also
Speaker 1: like every guy. Yeah, I'm a big desk And now
Speaker 1: I'm walking around like hammered with this guy and he's
Speaker 1: talking about birth control and I'm freaking out. Um, and
Speaker 1: we turned the corner. He brings me into an alley. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it gets worse. Um. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: his dick is just out is it hard or soft? Hard?
Speaker 1: And and it was like it was like he was
Speaker 1: wearing tear away I can't even really remember, but it
Speaker 1: was so instants tear away sweatpants like kind of it
Speaker 1: was just like, whoa, there's your dick. What is Oh
Speaker 1: my god? And then did you scream when he saw dick? No,
Speaker 1: just I just froze. But I had this moment where
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I've never kissed a guy. I want
Speaker 1: to run away right now. But if I do, then
Speaker 1: like the saga of me being a weird loser virgin continues,
Speaker 1: which is like, that's not the right inclination, but that's
Speaker 1: just when you have in high school. Yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: I felt, and so semi logic it was. I was like,
Speaker 1: either if I run away, he'll chase me with his biggest, weird,
Speaker 1: skinny dick. Weird skinny, really white, creepy white dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like so white. It was very well, he had
Speaker 1: a white dick. I've never seen a white dick. I
Speaker 1: mean maybe because it was dark and it was just
Speaker 1: so bright and he was so pale. It felt it
Speaker 1: was like a little sword, just like hanging down. Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness, sounds really bad memory um. And then but
Speaker 1: I was like, this is you know what, this is
Speaker 1: your time, Just do it. The dick I was dealt with, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just going on it and I started blowing him.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I couldn't have been good. I
Speaker 1: was so drunk and I had not like doing giving
Speaker 1: a job meant at that point no idea. I had
Speaker 1: seen porn, so I the concept, but I wasn't. I
Speaker 1: wasn't like versed in any way, especially like a public
Speaker 1: alley blackout blow job with this guy, Like that's very advanced.
Speaker 1: It's like not playing basketball and then just like going
Speaker 1: to the NBA and like give it a shot. Um.
Speaker 1: So I started blowing him and he started. I remember
Speaker 1: I black in and out of it, but I remember
Speaker 1: he started was like face doing the whole face fucking
Speaker 1: so disgusting um, and he then I blacked out, but
Speaker 1: I woke up with come all over my face. No,
Speaker 1: that's a nightmare. I think he came in my eye
Speaker 1: like full facial Wait did you wake up? Was he
Speaker 1: there when he woke up? What were you? Wait? Wait,
Speaker 1: were you still in the alley when you alley? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, he came in, left, came and left. Then
Speaker 1: my friends are like, where is aunt? Because they had
Speaker 1: sort set me up to go with this guy, thinking
Speaker 1: that we were going to make out. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: not the best um, and they are like, wait where
Speaker 1: is she? And he was like, don't worry, like she's kosher, kosher,
Speaker 1: And then my one of my best friends is running
Speaker 1: the streets being like where the fuck is she yes,
Speaker 1: finds me passed out or I'm not, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: one is. Oh my god, it is so tragic. You
Speaker 1: got sligned. I guess I'm so hard. And my best
Speaker 1: friend was like, hey, buddy, and she's like, do you
Speaker 1: want to go to McDonald's And I was like crying,
Speaker 1: like yes, that's the one place where you can walk
Speaker 1: in with come on your phone. Yeah, I love them.
Speaker 1: I'm sort of doing better than most at that time.
Speaker 1: We walked through the drive through together because it was
Speaker 1: closed and they and they served you the serd. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was like this fucking emergence. We've walked through a
Speaker 1: lot of drive throughs and they won't serve in America
Speaker 1: maybe in Canada. Ors just so we could take the
Speaker 1: U through the d so smart, that's how bad we
Speaker 1: wanted it. I mean, eighteen year old me, I needed
Speaker 1: a too cheeseburger meal with large fries. Just came on,
Speaker 1: you came on. Came on. Number two is always the
Speaker 1: way to go. It's the best, it's the best one
Speaker 1: there it's a protein for the second serving of protein
Speaker 1: for the night. Um, questionable protein. Yeah. So so that
Speaker 1: was like my entrance into the the sex world. Um,
Speaker 1: which is like a real like just kicking the doors down.
Speaker 1: Had you talked to that guy after? No, Well, I
Speaker 1: actually saw I saw him years later. He ended up
Speaker 1: sort of like becoming a grifter in societies or real
Speaker 1: piece of shit. Um. I saw him at a club maybe.
Speaker 1: I think I was like twenty two when I was
Speaker 1: in college. I was back in Vancouver, Skinny, get your
Speaker 1: weird little sword out, you freak, And he came up
Speaker 1: to me. It's like, you want round two? And I
Speaker 1: hunged him so hard good. It was so good. One
Speaker 1: just got a sigh of relief. It was so good.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I'm not a violent person, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: you kind of face raped me. And I was eighteen,
Speaker 1: and you're he's not a good person. I don't advocate
Speaker 1: like punching people, but sometimes though, you know what, you
Speaker 1: gotta punch someone. Oh no, I advocate punching, Uh say that, sure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. I've been trying to get to I've been
Speaker 1: trying to get people into uh injecting violence into feminism.
Speaker 1: That's my new thing. Yeah, I just feel like that's
Speaker 1: what it's missing. We need a palpable fear. I know
Speaker 1: they have nothing right now. The only thing guys are
Speaker 1: afraid of when it comes to women. I feel like,
Speaker 1: not all the guys, of course, but like that we're
Speaker 1: going to accuse them of sure, right, No, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick you in the fucking dick. Yeah, it's time. But
Speaker 1: that's also kind of cleaner, Like if just one good
Speaker 1: punch in the face, I mean, that's not going to
Speaker 1: really ruin your career, but really, I feel like an asshole.
Speaker 1: I felt it was a redeeming moment for me because
Speaker 1: I felt like older me was like standing up for
Speaker 1: younger me, Like yeah, and you're in the club now
Speaker 1: and you're doing good. I mean you're not really, but
Speaker 1: like you're doing better. I know anytime I'm in the club,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, you're doing great. Current Yeah, vodka Sodada.
Speaker 1: Had you ever punched anyone in the face before? Yes?
Speaker 1: Oh nice? Yeah, what was the first time you punched
Speaker 1: one in the face. I used to play rugby and
Speaker 1: well those chicks are they're serious. Yeah. Um, I played
Speaker 1: rugby and I loved it. Um. I'm like a pretty
Speaker 1: aggressive person, and that's an aggressive sport. And I loved
Speaker 1: it because it's like, oh I I have no outlet
Speaker 1: for this aggression. It's not people don't enjoy women who
Speaker 1: have a lot of masculinity or very assertive or have
Speaker 1: aggressive tendencies. People find it really off putting. And so
Speaker 1: finally I'm like, oh, this is a space where I
Speaker 1: can like tackle people and scream and roll around the
Speaker 1: mud like an animal. Um wait, what what happens in rugby?
Speaker 1: It's kind of has the violence of hockey a little bit.
Speaker 1: I was like, I thought it was more like field hockey.
Speaker 1: Is it's a cross but you punch pitches. It's like
Speaker 1: it's crops football, but that word don't wear pads, so
Speaker 1: you have sticks. That's field hockey. I was to, you know,
Speaker 1: there's only a few ones that were allowed in sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, so rugby okay, yeah we didn't. Isn't that
Speaker 1: more like a like a British type? Yes? Okay? Because
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even think I've ever been
Speaker 1: to like an American school that played rug Oh, no,
Speaker 1: one knows it. It's a it's a popular thing in Canada.
Speaker 1: I know what you're talking about now, Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: Canadians are so nice. We do well. We throw the
Speaker 1: ball backwards. Oh you're not running, You're like that seems
Speaker 1: like a really dumb I can see what your head
Speaker 1: and your stomach. I mean, it's a it's a dumb,
Speaker 1: ridiculous sport. But um, I I'm very tall, like I'm
Speaker 1: like almost six ft tall, and so, um we were
Speaker 1: like state champions, my girl team, and we're going against
Speaker 1: this rival all girls school, and uh they uh, they
Speaker 1: brought in a transplant from New Zealand. They literally recruited
Speaker 1: a chick. Yes, yes, she was massive and like so
Speaker 1: she was amazing. She was a beast um and she
Speaker 1: was my counter. I was a position called eight man
Speaker 1: and she was the other eight man and they're like, Andrea,
Speaker 1: it's your job to take her down. And I'm like
Speaker 1: looking at her from across the field being like, oh my,
Speaker 1: she's like the truck. Yeah yeah, I was like all right, um,
Speaker 1: but we ended up we ended up like we were
Speaker 1: pretty evenly matched. But she did something that's called um raking,
Speaker 1: which is not the other words you're thinking. Um, but
Speaker 1: when someone falls down in rugby, it's not illegal. But
Speaker 1: it's frowned upon. You take your cleats and you dragged
Speaker 1: them across the person's like face or body. Wait wait
Speaker 1: wait wait, yeah that is merely frowned upon. Yeah, merely
Speaker 1: frowned rugby. Yeah, I I lost a two. It is
Speaker 1: no joke. Holy shit. Um so we got about replacement too.
Speaker 1: We see they're fake. Oh god, they are great. Ye.
Speaker 1: They're like we can give you, you know, like one
Speaker 1: to transplant, or we can give you like all of
Speaker 1: the ears. I'm like, yeah, I'll take the hot anybody.
Speaker 1: It's the best. Um wow, wait, so she raked you.
Speaker 1: She raked my tiny friends. So there are like smaller
Speaker 1: girls who play rugby. Who are the ones who Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're crazy as fuck. And she took her down and
Speaker 1: started raking her, and my friend was like crying and
Speaker 1: I just like saw that was like chicks, it is
Speaker 1: it's the best. Sounds great, it's so great. Um but
Speaker 1: I was just I was just so mad to like
Speaker 1: see it happen. So um. Once I tackled her, I
Speaker 1: had her on the ground and I just started like
Speaker 1: punching her in the face. That legal yes, wait wait
Speaker 1: wait waiting, punching in the face, that's a legal rugby move.
Speaker 1: It is. It's like they they you can't like walk
Speaker 1: up to someone and punch them in the face, but
Speaker 1: when you're tackling them, if you're on the ground, you
Speaker 1: can't hit them. Yeah, you're trying to like, wow, you're
Speaker 1: trying to grab the ball from them, so whatever you
Speaker 1: need to do, and they're holding it in their hands,
Speaker 1: so you're trying to like sort of grapple and stuff.
Speaker 1: And if you punch them in the face, like it's
Speaker 1: they won't stop the game for that. Holy crap. They'll
Speaker 1: just keep cheering on. Oh yeah, And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: holy crap. So that was Do guys play rugby? Yes,
Speaker 1: I feel like the girls are more violent. I don't know,
Speaker 1: that's just a hunch I have. I feel like women
Speaker 1: have more anger than them. Well, it's it's finally permission
Speaker 1: to be violent. So that's the thing. Yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: I feel like women would just let their violence finally.
Speaker 1: It's it's kind of I mean, I feel like the
Speaker 1: women in comedy right now are rugby players. I mean
Speaker 1: they want to be there more because they've been told
Speaker 1: that they had that they shouldn't be there and yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're working really hard and they're kicking ass. That's
Speaker 1: sort of how I felt with rugby play is it
Speaker 1: was like you're finally allowed to do this like boys thing,
Speaker 1: so we really we want to be the best when
Speaker 1: they're working really hard. So it was a great experience. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how many people have died from playing rugby? I don't
Speaker 1: know on the field, but I'm sure the brain injuries.
Speaker 1: Do you wear helmets? No? No? Yeah, so it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Oh it's so it's like boxing, yeah, boxing,
Speaker 1: running jitsu. Yeah, it's all those things. It's there's a
Speaker 1: thing called the scrum where like Harry Potter, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like we're in England on a dark cloudy day
Speaker 1: some like hunchback person. Um. So the scrum is where
Speaker 1: two groups like clash. It just looks like a hive
Speaker 1: of people sort of like pushing against one another. UM.
Speaker 1: And the ideas for one group to push, push the
Speaker 1: ball back and pass it to the eighth man, which
Speaker 1: is me, and then that person runs and like tries
Speaker 1: to score a try, which a point whatever. Um. But
Speaker 1: in the scrum there's a middle position called the hooker,
Speaker 1: which is no joke, like a tiny portly woman. Um,
Speaker 1: we're like all garbage pail kids. Yeah, it's amazing. Um,
Speaker 1: and their job is to like try to kick the
Speaker 1: ball back and back through the circle, but everyone's trying
Speaker 1: to get at the ball and the hookers kicking, and
Speaker 1: the second row in the group is like you can punch,
Speaker 1: you can punch underneath. Like there's a lot of violence
Speaker 1: happening under the bodies. So it seems like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of rules. But then also like a lot of
Speaker 1: them are like maybe take them or leave them. They're
Speaker 1: like they're like whatever suggestions. Yeah, oh my god, we
Speaker 1: broke a girl's femur. We are playing against a ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we had so like the ball acted it was
Speaker 1: a freak accident, but the current that's a hard I
Speaker 1: could watch this. I don't want to be involved. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely want to watch it. No, it's very fun
Speaker 1: to watch. I wouldn't do it now because I'm like
Speaker 1: an older person whose body can't handle this type of violence. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's super funny, honestly. One to one transfer was like,
Speaker 1: do you find that there's any correlation between the high
Speaker 1: you would get off of playing rugby? Assuming you got
Speaker 1: a high off of it, like the satisfaction and the
Speaker 1: uh the violence considerual violence quote unquote with kink the world. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I gotta get I gotta get into the kink world.
Speaker 1: I get such a I get such a rise out
Speaker 1: of it. I get Like I was thinking a little
Speaker 1: bit when we were talking about before the show about fetishes,
Speaker 1: and like, what do I get out of this? Because
Speaker 1: I seem to keep going into this world um, and
Speaker 1: I encounter many different types of fetishes, and I think
Speaker 1: for me, it's the excitement of the taboon nous of
Speaker 1: it um and also the intensity of it when you
Speaker 1: hook up with someone who has a that ish and
Speaker 1: you're satiating their desires. You'll never see someone either like
Speaker 1: so grateful or so turned on, or it's it's extreme.
Speaker 1: Like I'm attracted to extremes. So wherever I can find
Speaker 1: that where whether it be sex or comedy or or
Speaker 1: punching in the face, I'm gonna find it. Wow. Wow
Speaker 1: cool thinks. So where is your parents attitude towards sex?
Speaker 1: Did they just not even acknowledge it? Did they say, hey,
Speaker 1: talk good pregnant, Okay bye, they give you a talk?
Speaker 1: Or no they didn't really there It's odd that you
Speaker 1: were in a household that encouraged kind of like free speech,
Speaker 1: as you said, but then left that part out. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think they weren't. You didn't seem to be like
Speaker 1: that sexual a person or that comfortable expressing your sexuality
Speaker 1: until later anyway, So maybe they were like, hey, you
Speaker 1: know what, maybe she didn't want to. They're kind of
Speaker 1: like fine. Um. They were also very they let me
Speaker 1: be pretty fiercely independent, and I think that they kind
Speaker 1: of assumed I would figure it out on my own,
Speaker 1: which maybe not the best move. Um, Like they you know,
Speaker 1: I went to a boarding school, so I didn't live
Speaker 1: at home for a lot, like high school really, and
Speaker 1: then I moved to New York and right after that, yeah,
Speaker 1: and go to college. Yes, I went to college in
Speaker 1: New York. Um. I went to Parsons, which is a
Speaker 1: designed school. Um. And so I came to New York
Speaker 1: as a virgin and was like I am getting rid
Speaker 1: of this ship. Now I'm getting fun to New York City, y'all. Yes,
Speaker 1: I came to New York as a version two, but
Speaker 1: by choice because I was like, what's my other option?
Speaker 1: New Jersey. Yeah, I mean that's very You're like Jersey,
Speaker 1: You're like the clueless chick. Um um. Yeah, so okay,
Speaker 1: so you move here, I move here. I want to
Speaker 1: have sex. I want to get rid of my virginity.
Speaker 1: I don't view it as like this beautiful thing. I
Speaker 1: mean I think that it can be. I'm not like,
Speaker 1: I've never heard a good story about it, but it
Speaker 1: has a really good one. Good for you. Some people do,
Speaker 1: but I'm boring. Now most people don't. I would never
Speaker 1: say that you're boring. Well, no, I haven't had something
Speaker 1: like I'm not born. Oh yeah, I know I'm not born,
Speaker 1: but I don't like like, I don't know. It's like
Speaker 1: I've done all these crazy like things and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: there's not really for me. Yeah, I don't know. Well
Speaker 1: that's it's interesting. But you had the inclination to explore them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I tried them and then I was like, yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: and that's more because I don't like the other people
Speaker 1: doing them though. They ruined it a lot for me.
Speaker 1: You're very picky men. Have you met them? Yeah, they're terrible,
Speaker 1: are the worst. They ruined everything fun um, some of
Speaker 1: them don't put yourself. Um. But so the so I
Speaker 1: just I was like, I want to lose my virginity
Speaker 1: because I want to be sexually active. I don't want
Speaker 1: to feel like a loser anymore. I also like there's
Speaker 1: something about the autonomy of New York City, like no
Speaker 1: one knows you. Yeah, it's sexy. Yeah, it's so cool.
Speaker 1: You just go to a bar and like used to
Speaker 1: go to you can meet anybody. I love it. I
Speaker 1: still I still go out and like trying to meet strangers.
Speaker 1: It's fun, it's a good the only the best place
Speaker 1: to do it. Yeah, it's it's magical in a lot
Speaker 1: of ways. And so I met my first boyfriend in
Speaker 1: New York. I used to just go to ours by myself, um,
Speaker 1: because I didn't really fit in at school and I
Speaker 1: was I was like, I need to find friends. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go I'm gonna go to bars and like dance.
Speaker 1: I would like buy other women drinks to like try
Speaker 1: to get them to be my female friend. Did anybody
Speaker 1: mistake that kind of like no one was feeling it.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm very big onto female Sorry, Alfred's making out with
Speaker 1: me now. Um, I'm very big into like females being
Speaker 1: nice to each other. But it's like a strange woman
Speaker 1: trying to buy me, like you're trying to roof met
Speaker 1: in a box, very weird and desperate. I would think
Speaker 1: she was like a henchman, a henchwoman working for some
Speaker 1: sort of sex trafficking things. I'm more scared of women
Speaker 1: than I am A Yeah, there's a lot of predatory women, um,
Speaker 1: and the very determined they are. Women will get what
Speaker 1: they want. Yeah, and they'll like kind of like your
Speaker 1: friend and you'll be like, oh my god, what's happening.
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't want to call you a pervert,
Speaker 1: but you kind of all yeah, it sucks. But I
Speaker 1: was made friends friends with women doing that, know it. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. Not surprised, purely, just like a Canadian
Speaker 1: freak show like him, I drink like such a dork.
Speaker 1: But um, but I met a guy. I saw this guy,
Speaker 1: like this redheaded dude. He was body rolling in the
Speaker 1: corner like by himself, like up right, yeah, very sent
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, here's my frinch. Driving is your deal?
Speaker 1: He was getting like so into dancing, and it was
Speaker 1: it was a gay night at that particular club, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's a possibility that this guy might be gay.
Speaker 1: He's super cool and also like, what is this deal? Um?
Speaker 1: So I went up to him and I'm like, are
Speaker 1: you gay? Very nuance and he was like no, and
Speaker 1: I was like, let's dance. Um. So we just kind
Speaker 1: of what we can say. If he said I am gay,
Speaker 1: I would have been liked by you. Drink my friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I was interested in him. I thought he was cute. Um.
Speaker 1: And so then I asked him too. I asked him out.
Speaker 1: I asked him to go to Coney Island with me. See,
Speaker 1: I love on girls out, guys out. We need to
Speaker 1: be doing that more. I agree, But I also you
Speaker 1: also might get murdered in the end of this story.
Speaker 1: Yeah you heard the last story. And it was like
Speaker 1: crying and eating Donald's would come all over this story.
Speaker 1: Um if somebody wants to draw that and um uh.
Speaker 1: And so we went to Coney Island and we had
Speaker 1: a great time. We went on all the rides and
Speaker 1: like I was like so nauseous from all the shitty
Speaker 1: rides and like want to throw up. And then we
Speaker 1: went on the beach and we were like making out
Speaker 1: in the sand like just babies. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: dry humping. I feel bad for like anyone so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: realized on fire. I was so excited about like fucking
Speaker 1: I was so horny. Um, and did you masturbated? You masturbate?
Speaker 1: I hadn't at that point, you hadn't masbate orgasm? Oh ship,
Speaker 1: I don't wonder you what your vagina was on fire?
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this? Take me weird ginger boy? Um?
Speaker 1: And so he invited me back to his place, uh
Speaker 1: the next date that we had, but before we were
Speaker 1: we were like hanging out um one night, and he
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, he was in a frat. He was
Speaker 1: in like finance frat, which is like, is that a
Speaker 1: frat dork? But he was like, I don't like sorority
Speaker 1: girls because they're either like sluts or they're virgine very loving.
Speaker 1: Another prince term. Yeah he's not. He's not great. He's problematic.
Speaker 1: What did you say to that anything, You're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: SAME's it's like the same pattern over and at me
Speaker 1: being like in my head like fuck, but being like yeah,
Speaker 1: totally I'm cool and have totally had sex many times him. Um.
Speaker 1: It is such a bummer, though, when you have a
Speaker 1: good time with something like a person and then it
Speaker 1: reveals like the racist a couple of meetings in they
Speaker 1: say something just like so fucking that inexcusable that you're like,
Speaker 1: god damn it. Yeah, I know. And and back then
Speaker 1: I would didn't have any confidence to advocate for myself,
Speaker 1: and now I absolutely would be like funk off. But
Speaker 1: I was so young, and so I was just kind
Speaker 1: of like that, yes, um. And then he took me
Speaker 1: back to his place and like made me dinner, and
Speaker 1: like he made me like Papa pasta dish and we
Speaker 1: were working within like ten. It was so easy. He
Speaker 1: like offered me food and I'm like yep, and then
Speaker 1: weber pasta. Oh no, we got like we had like
Speaker 1: a few. It was so I was so ready yeah um.
Speaker 1: And so I lost my virginity to him. I didn't
Speaker 1: tell him, um, and then you never told him? I
Speaker 1: never and that you are you cool with that? Like
Speaker 1: are you glad you didn't tell him? I told him
Speaker 1: recently actually years later, just because I'm like Google's the
Speaker 1: fun now. But uh yeah, I was just kind of
Speaker 1: like because girls ask us that, like, and guys sometimes like,
Speaker 1: oh I I am a virgin, but I don't want
Speaker 1: to tell the person because then they'll put all this
Speaker 1: weight on it. And I'm like, if you don't want to, don't,
Speaker 1: who gives a ship? I feel like that's your decision. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And and I knew that. I knew that I probably
Speaker 1: wasn't going to be great at sex because I had
Speaker 1: never done it before. But I was also like, you're
Speaker 1: you'd never have to see this guy again if you
Speaker 1: don't want to, and this is just a new experience.
Speaker 1: And it was really was the sex. It was like
Speaker 1: I I was just excited to have hook up, so
Speaker 1: it was great. Like I'm sure if I had that
Speaker 1: sex now, I'd be like, oh, how boring. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but the first time, you're like, what the you know,
Speaker 1: you don't got a slash to the face the first time, exactly,
Speaker 1: Like there's much worse experiences that I that I could
Speaker 1: have had. Um that sentence, it finds being a woman
Speaker 1: so hard. It's like it could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 1: Feeling grateful not murdered. So that's good, still standing, Oh God,
Speaker 1: still have all my limbs. Um. But so we ended
Speaker 1: up dating, and he like he he taught me a
Speaker 1: lot about sex. He like taught me how to be
Speaker 1: on top. He like gotten a pillow and was like
Speaker 1: showing me how to do it, like very very nice.
Speaker 1: But he demonstrated on a pillow like I'm you Andrew, Okay.
Speaker 1: He was very giving um and yeah we were. He
Speaker 1: was the first person that I loved um and I
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, that's that's a cool way to meet somebody,
Speaker 1: just seeing them in the corner of a bar gyrating
Speaker 1: and be like hey, free and the next thing you know,
Speaker 1: you're in Coney Island make an out. Yeah. It was
Speaker 1: a very like New York. Yeah, I was very New York,
Speaker 1: and I was happy for it to be, you know,
Speaker 1: my first experience. Like obviously I look back and there's
Speaker 1: things that he did and that I did that we're
Speaker 1: not great. But what well, at the end of our relationship,
Speaker 1: every story I had, it starts real fun and I
Speaker 1: know and then someone is like reveals themselves a woman.
Speaker 1: Um okay. So we were together for like a year
Speaker 1: and a half and I got mono um, like maybe
Speaker 1: a year in and I was on birth control at
Speaker 1: the time, but they were giving me meds for the mono,
Speaker 1: and they gave me a certain antibiotic and they were like, listen,
Speaker 1: this might funk up your birth control, asked your pharmacist,
Speaker 1: And so I asked the asshole at Dwayne Read if
Speaker 1: this was gonna suck up my birth control was like, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine. Turns out funk up, meaning like mentally side
Speaker 1: effects like it makes it not it makes it not anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so avoids the anytime someone says that you just use
Speaker 1: a conda assumed that I'm talking to the listeners now,
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, because I've had that, I'm like, nope, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't believe anybody, trust nobody, especially ce no offense, no
Speaker 1: shade to like the Dwyne Read receive. Obviously you gave
Speaker 1: me the wrong info. Yeah. Um, so I got pregnant. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and um, and I got I missed, I was late
Speaker 1: for my period and then I took up pregnancy test
Speaker 1: and it turned out negative and I was like, that's
Speaker 1: fucking weird. But you can have false negatives false positive. Yeah, Nope,
Speaker 1: and then maybe, um, like two or three weeks later,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like throwing up every morning. I'm gaining
Speaker 1: a lot of way. Oh yeah, but they're bigger, which
Speaker 1: is kind of exciting. I had the baby for the titch.
Speaker 1: I Actually that's a great shirt. It was when I
Speaker 1: found out. So I took a pregnancy test and I
Speaker 1: was pregnant. Um, but McDonald's keeps like popping up, which
Speaker 1: is this is so you guys do it? Was, well
Speaker 1: we do? We know each other for a while, um
Speaker 1: Kidford spirits I feel and um, there was when I
Speaker 1: realized I was pregnant and I was gaining a lot
Speaker 1: of weight. I was just like, fuck, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: my time to just be a fat fuck because like
Speaker 1: who cares. Finally, wait, did you know you were pregnant?
Speaker 1: I know I was pregnant, and I'm like, I'm getting
Speaker 1: fat as fun, not really fat. You get fully thinking
Speaker 1: that like you're gonna have to lose the weight. Like
Speaker 1: in my mind, I'm just like, well, you'll have an
Speaker 1: abortion and then you'll lose all the weight, because that's
Speaker 1: what happens to pregnant ladies. But so you were like
Speaker 1: waiting so you could eat, waiting to aborttion so that
Speaker 1: you could eat, Like wow, not fully. But I was
Speaker 1: just like no, I mean not resonated while I'm in
Speaker 1: this limbo let's parties. Uh, I went to McDonald It
Speaker 1: wasn't too early for you to get an abortion? No,
Speaker 1: it wasn't, but I was trying to get it through
Speaker 1: Planned Parenthood and they were so booked and I was
Speaker 1: also going to college full time and he wasn't helping time,
Speaker 1: no one seriously. Yeah, I'm like fucking throwing up in
Speaker 1: plastic bags on my way to school, like taking macro
Speaker 1: economics and like I'm freaking out. I think I'm like
Speaker 1: twenty at the time, Like I have no tools to
Speaker 1: handle this and he's not really helping me. So he
Speaker 1: you and he was like yeah, and he was like
Speaker 1: I hope you like very minimal help, but like a
Speaker 1: good partner and be like I'm I'm making the calls.
Speaker 1: I'm going to help, like whatever you need, but to
Speaker 1: do something anything would be Was he supportive of either
Speaker 1: decision and you would make? I don't know. I immediately
Speaker 1: was like I'll have an abortion, like there was not
Speaker 1: a question. So I never got to see that side,
Speaker 1: but I I would imagine he would probably try to
Speaker 1: coerce me to have an abort, like neither of us
Speaker 1: were in a position to have a child. Um, and
Speaker 1: I certainly didn't want to go through that. UM. So
Speaker 1: I finally made an appointment with Planned Parenthood and got
Speaker 1: it locked down. I was like having McDonald's twice a day.
Speaker 1: It's like fifting bagels and just beer. I was trying
Speaker 1: to like drink a lot of raspberry tea because apparently
Speaker 1: that like sometimes like aborts before you. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: was googling a way um and just like living my
Speaker 1: best worst life. Um. And then I went We went
Speaker 1: to plan parent and this was at the end of
Speaker 1: our relationship and he was moving back to California. Um,
Speaker 1: and we made the appointment for a week before he left.
Speaker 1: We got there and they were like, we're so sorry.
Speaker 1: We had an emergency, like we're slammed for the day.
Speaker 1: We're going to your appointment. Oh my god, Oh my god, who,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Hey, I'll come back like tomorrow. Maybe.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have had a fucking
Speaker 1: meltdown in the parking lot. Oh. I was flipping out. Um.
Speaker 1: And then they're like, we'll just we'll set you for
Speaker 1: next week. Oh my god. He moves away. Oh. Now
Speaker 1: was this experience the like the kind of like what
Speaker 1: made you finally break up? But was it too much
Speaker 1: for you guys to handle? Or were there other things
Speaker 1: going wrong? Other things were going wrong, Like we were
Speaker 1: already at the end of our relationship. I felt it.
Speaker 1: As an older, more mature adult, I probably would have
Speaker 1: dated him for like maybe six months and you just
Speaker 1: weren't suited. But it was the first person that I
Speaker 1: loved together. And you never know when to end that sure,
Speaker 1: you don't have a grasp of who you are. And
Speaker 1: it's also my social life, like I met all of
Speaker 1: his friends now with him, Like there was a lot
Speaker 1: of ingrained with each other. And that basket and egg
Speaker 1: and fertilized. Oh my god, you had to wait another week.
Speaker 1: Wait a week. He goes back to California. Um, and
Speaker 1: I go to Planned Parenthood borrow hall, shout out to
Speaker 1: those girls. Um, and I had it by myself. Um,
Speaker 1: and it was really did you get the aspirated the procedure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Um. And that's uh, from what
Speaker 1: I understand from talking to people, that's relatively pain free.
Speaker 1: It's just emotionally, that's a lot to deal with. I mean,
Speaker 1: how is your experience? It was super painful for me? Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but yeah, I have heard that. But
Speaker 1: I was also pretty far along too, Like I was,
Speaker 1: I was pushing it in terms of like, that's crazy
Speaker 1: that they could just say wait a week. I know,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I know the plant Parenthood's doing the
Speaker 1: best they can. Like every didn't feel bad. You're clearly slammed.
Speaker 1: Like there's an exhausted looking nurse, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be like fucking they are doing the
Speaker 1: Lord's work and helping men and women. And what's like
Speaker 1: the like, what's like the numbering they are they numbering you?
Speaker 1: Are they giving you a like a local anesthetic or
Speaker 1: local anesthetic, but it depends like you can pay. Some
Speaker 1: women go under fully Yeah. Some women are like, give
Speaker 1: me fucking oxycoat whatever. I was a ball or in
Speaker 1: a budget in college, and I was just like, you
Speaker 1: give me the like anti freeze or whatever you throw
Speaker 1: up there and just do it well. I always, I
Speaker 1: mean I anytime you can opt to not go fully
Speaker 1: under anyway, I think it's it's safer because you're trade
Speaker 1: you can collapse and ship while you're fully under. It's
Speaker 1: no Joan River style, but rest in peace, angel um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I also was like, I just I think
Speaker 1: I can handle this. I just want to like get
Speaker 1: it over with. This is the cheapest, um. So I
Speaker 1: got the abortion by myself, took the subway home. I
Speaker 1: was like, it's not even like the I mean, I
Speaker 1: got lasi done. And they said you cannot go home
Speaker 1: unless someone comes and picks you up. I mean you can't,
Speaker 1: you can, but it's it's real gangster Yeah. And uh.
Speaker 1: And then I just got home and he had already gone,
Speaker 1: and and he didn't call me that day. Oh I know,
Speaker 1: and so I Dick, I call him and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's up. So what do you do today? Yeah? Basically
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh, I'm just waiting and he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just hanging him like friends. He's like, he's like
Speaker 1: a callie guy song with bros. And then um, and
Speaker 1: I'm like anything new, anything, you wanna anything to say
Speaker 1: anything today? And he was like no, no, I'm just
Speaker 1: chilling out my talk to you later. Did he forget
Speaker 1: He forgot that in sentences, being a man forgetting someone's abortion. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so now we've really covered it. Thank you for coming
Speaker 1: on because you really covered things pretty scinctly. I'm here
Speaker 1: to show everybody the worst case scenario. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: but you know, I it sucked. Um. It also like
Speaker 1: helped me every time I have a bad I had
Speaker 1: a bad experience like but that it was like, all right,
Speaker 1: well this is where your boundaries are. You're never gonna
Speaker 1: be with someone like that again. You learn, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: wanted to stick up for yourself through getting sucked over. Totally,
Speaker 1: totally so um after that, after that, I went on
Speaker 1: a tear and I lost all my pregnancy weight, um
Speaker 1: real skinny dye my hair black fucked every single one
Speaker 1: of his friends and was just like, it's my time.
Speaker 1: What color was your hair before? Blonde? Oh? It was blonde?
Speaker 1: Switched I that's your natural hair colors blonde? Gosh, oh
Speaker 1: I'm trying to picture that. I really can't. Your photo later,
Speaker 1: super preppy blonde. And and that was the sort of
Speaker 1: the beginning of me being like I'm gonna do whatever
Speaker 1: I want, just have my own experiences. I'm not answering
Speaker 1: to anybody anymore. And yeah, I just started getting into it. Well,
Speaker 1: so you've gave me. I was like Andrea and a
Speaker 1: nutsche like, what are all the things we can talk
Speaker 1: about that are unique? And one of them you said
Speaker 1: was furries? Please? How did that happen? Would you meet
Speaker 1: the person? What the fun is furries? I saw a
Speaker 1: documentary about it years ago, and I cannot. I have not,
Speaker 1: for a moment, stopped thinking about it since then. It's
Speaker 1: very fascinating. It's one of the fetishes that seems like
Speaker 1: almost non sexual, because that's what I had. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the impression I had on it, like they just dress
Speaker 1: up but no one has a bone or whether they're
Speaker 1: doing it like bumps into each other and it's like
Speaker 1: he like, it feels very Teletubbies, which you believe fucking zoo,
Speaker 1: I actually have one of the stuff or anyway, wow, okay,
Speaker 1: So so I don't know. I I met a guy
Speaker 1: on Bumble and um, I wear for often and I thought, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I was wearing a fur in a lot
Speaker 1: of the pictures that he saw, so that must have
Speaker 1: piqued his interest. I had no I know, ship Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was like we finally, um, yeah, hell right. He
Speaker 1: shows up at the bar like balloom but um and
Speaker 1: so I met him. I started talking to him and
Speaker 1: he had just gotten out of a breakup. And it's like,
Speaker 1: would it be that off brand with what you've heard
Speaker 1: so far? I haven't sucked a convict, but like never
Speaker 1: I know, listen, give me the opportunity. Um. But so
Speaker 1: we met and he uh, he opened up to me immediately,
Speaker 1: like that's not an uncommon experience for me. I feel
Speaker 1: like people just sent that I'm like down to party
Speaker 1: and they'd like to tell me other secrets. Um. And
Speaker 1: so he was like, I just got out a relationship
Speaker 1: with this girl and and um, we we barely had sex.
Speaker 1: They were together for like four years. She was this
Speaker 1: like super hot, kind of manic pixie dream girl who
Speaker 1: just like treated him like garbage. Yeah yeah soon very
Speaker 1: Brooklyn um and um, and she wouldn't have sex with
Speaker 1: them really, and so he was like, I just want
Speaker 1: to like explore sex. And he was like really opening
Speaker 1: up to me, and I was like that's cool. Like
Speaker 1: a little bit of me was like all right, like
Speaker 1: I just met you, but also like Mrs Crazy uh
Speaker 1: and call me your dirty little fur who that comes later. Um.
Speaker 1: But so we start hooking up and he's like clearly
Speaker 1: in experience, but he's we have like great sexual chemistry.
Speaker 1: And one day we're we're like coming into my apartment
Speaker 1: and I'm wearing the fur co and we start hooking
Speaker 1: up and I'm like, oh, let me just take this
Speaker 1: off and he was like don't and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: what's kind of interesting, and uh. We were hooking up
Speaker 1: for a little bit, and then when we started having sex,
Speaker 1: I just took it off because I thought maybe he
Speaker 1: just thought it was like you get sweaty, though very sweaty.
Speaker 1: I remember I almost passed out because I was sucking
Speaker 1: in a wig one time and I'm not getting any
Speaker 1: very hot um, and so so then we kept talking
Speaker 1: and um, I was actually out of the country. I
Speaker 1: was in Canada and he was texting. He was drunk.
Speaker 1: He was texting me and he was like, listen, I
Speaker 1: have some more fetishes that I'm not being totally honest about.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, whatever, like I'm open to anything.
Speaker 1: And he was like, I'm really turned on by the
Speaker 1: idea of fur, the tactile experience of like touching it
Speaker 1: also like the power dynamic that it has, Like in fact,
Speaker 1: like I think it's like you know when you see
Speaker 1: someone wearing a fur coat and they kind of have
Speaker 1: like this confidence to them. There's an aura that comes
Speaker 1: with first. I mean, it's like has historical ties to
Speaker 1: like pimps, to like there's sex and fur, there's weird correlations, um,
Speaker 1: and and so he was like, I'm just very turned
Speaker 1: on by seeing you wearing it and and touching it. Um,
Speaker 1: when I see women in public wearing them, like like
Speaker 1: when I see bigger furs, the bigger they are, the
Speaker 1: more I like aroused by it. I'm like, that's cool.
Speaker 1: And then he was like, okay, but it like kind
Speaker 1: of goes a little bit further than that. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: and he's like, if you don't ever want to talk
Speaker 1: to me again, that's fine, but like, I didn't really
Speaker 1: prep to you for the worst. Yeah, he is. And
Speaker 1: I think it's just because he was so repressed and
Speaker 1: he didn't have a sexual partner that really even accepted him,
Speaker 1: like at a base level. So to be like, I
Speaker 1: have a very kind of complex and outside the norm
Speaker 1: sexual fetish was like not something he felt that he
Speaker 1: could bring up. UM. So he said he had an
Speaker 1: animal transformation fetish, which is he's aroused by the fur itself,
Speaker 1: but also by the idea that I am transforming from
Speaker 1: a woman into an animal and I can't Like he
Speaker 1: likes the idea that I can't control old that the
Speaker 1: transformation like it's a little bit just like the moon
Speaker 1: comes out. Um, animal, it's basically animal. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you know there's like Kitty like from X Men does this. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's like a lot of well, I mean there's a
Speaker 1: lot of like a nightcrawler right like er oh. And
Speaker 1: then Joe from the actor Joe from True Blood who's
Speaker 1: married to Sophia Vergara character did that. He is that
Speaker 1: was hot. Listen, I get into like vampire e ship
Speaker 1: like this is not this wasn't out of my area.
Speaker 1: But he was. I think he was very nervous because
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm not into bestiality. I don't like
Speaker 1: telling people this because I don't want them to think
Speaker 1: that I want a fucking animal. Alfred was happy about
Speaker 1: that my house, Um, I will not do That's so nice.
Speaker 1: That's very thank you very much. Welcome. It's a safe space. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he was he was probably very nervous telling you that.
Speaker 1: Very nervous because I feel like I want to do
Speaker 1: a via text and probably yeah, he's getting drunk and
Speaker 1: he was like slowly revealing it. He also like, I
Speaker 1: I wrote a sex column for a time. He knew,
Speaker 1: he knew that I had a pretty um, he knew
Speaker 1: that I had a lot of experience compared to him.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of experience, so I think I
Speaker 1: was safe, open minded. Yeah yeah, and so and I
Speaker 1: was like that's fucking cool like that what is that? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: how do we do it? Like? Okay? So you were
Speaker 1: amped curious totally at um and so I'm like, how
Speaker 1: can we I can't turn into an animal, but how
Speaker 1: can we like up the antie with this? How can
Speaker 1: we play this fetish out? And he was like, well,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of like there's a lot of accessories,
Speaker 1: Like there's there's butt plugs that have tails. Whoa, that's
Speaker 1: that makes a lot of sense. Everyone likes that one
Speaker 1: whenever I bring this crazy because it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a instead of just putting a tail
Speaker 1: on like a costume. It's like, oh yeah, it's good,
Speaker 1: but that's a more serious tale inside your bottle. It's
Speaker 1: it feels so coolice to walk around and like wag
Speaker 1: it remind me. Yeah, it was kind of an animal,
Speaker 1: was it? It was a fox? Okay, because I was
Speaker 1: like fox, I can see because I actually be like
Speaker 1: fluffy like because like a dogtail. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that would be Yeah, it's weird, but foxes, foxes have
Speaker 1: they know what they're doing. Look like they're not going
Speaker 1: to call you back. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to get
Speaker 1: the fox to call him back. I'm gonna change Yeah,
Speaker 1: this little freak fo fox. And so so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm all in for this. So he's probably so excited.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and um and he's like, there's for handcuffs,
Speaker 1: there's like for whips, um. And I so I worked
Speaker 1: in the fashion industry also at the time, so I
Speaker 1: had all these connections to like furriers. So yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: like this guy's dream girl. Uh. And so I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, let's be like I'm gonna connect to my factories.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of these for factor like places
Speaker 1: that do for They also do sex toy stuff on
Speaker 1: the d L because it's cheap, like so cheap. They
Speaker 1: have all these scraps, which is I can expensive Yeah
Speaker 1: yeahdi ish um. And he would only like if he
Speaker 1: tried to do something synthetic, he would be like, Nope,
Speaker 1: I never did something. I'm a classy bitch. Well, I
Speaker 1: just didn't know if it was like what if you're
Speaker 1: a furry, but then you're also like our vegan or something.
Speaker 1: I bet you you could wear. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: things totally. And that's what I was saying because I
Speaker 1: just didn't know if like the fetish was connected to
Speaker 1: it being truly from an animal. I bet you, I
Speaker 1: bet you, um. But I'm sure he would like settle
Speaker 1: for he could still get there could pretend yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's not the top tier, but he could definitely like
Speaker 1: for sure, uh, come all over my fake fur. Um.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'll go to these factories, a lot
Speaker 1: of them like would hook me up, um with these
Speaker 1: cheap sex toys. And so I got the butt plug
Speaker 1: and I got for handcuffs, I got a fur whip.
Speaker 1: It's like, how did you tell him you got these things?
Speaker 1: Or did you surprise? I surprised nice and dude, he
Speaker 1: probably exploded jizz all over your face. It was It
Speaker 1: was amazing because that's fun to indulge in somebody else's king.
Speaker 1: That's what I like about it. I'm like, you have
Speaker 1: never explored this, and I'm about to just like open
Speaker 1: the treasure trove for you. But this is also like
Speaker 1: the kind of like kind of giving behavior that women
Speaker 1: like do so often, like you're putting so much work
Speaker 1: into the skank, and like, I've put so much work
Speaker 1: into things, and I'm like thinking, like, no one has
Speaker 1: anyone ever put that much mark ends And I also
Speaker 1: like I've spent a lot of time since then because
Speaker 1: that relationship didn't end so well either, um shocking um.
Speaker 1: But but I put a lot of time because I
Speaker 1: did enjoy all these fetishes and I enjoyed exploring these
Speaker 1: things with these partners. But I was so much on
Speaker 1: the giving end, and I had to look at myself
Speaker 1: and be like what do I want? Yeah? And also
Speaker 1: why are you giving so much these people? Because are
Speaker 1: you afraid that they're going to leave if you don't give?
Speaker 1: Though sometimes giving is a turn on. It is will
Speaker 1: say it's it's it can be, but sometimes it's not.
Speaker 1: You're getting walked all over and sometimes it's like, well
Speaker 1: that you get off based off the giving, Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not forever. I feel like it's the issue. You have
Speaker 1: to look at yourself and be like I am spending
Speaker 1: money and time and what am I getting back? And
Speaker 1: I wasn't communicating to him like a lot of my
Speaker 1: needs to, and I was I was insecure with him
Speaker 1: because I thought he was out of my league. Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know why you thought a furry was out
Speaker 1: of your league. Yeah, I have, Well, not that a fury.
Speaker 1: I've had super low self esteem for a lot of
Speaker 1: my Like I'm twenty nine now, this is the first
Speaker 1: time in my life where I'm like, I feel confident
Speaker 1: in myself and I can't ask for things and I'm
Speaker 1: not just waiting around for me to like either dub
Speaker 1: me or whatever I call the shots. Yeah, there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with me and Fury. But then also I'm never
Speaker 1: I'm wouldn't I wouldn't be Like that's a check in
Speaker 1: the yes box. Yes, yeah, yes, So it's a specific thing,
Speaker 1: so is anybody who is a furry. Though it's just
Speaker 1: to really the fur, not necessarily because I associated with
Speaker 1: uh like people dressed as those care bear and those
Speaker 1: care bear costumes, which I can't be a real fur, right, No,
Speaker 1: I mean is that the same thing? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I think furries furries. I think
Speaker 1: they also they overlap a little bit with like tickle
Speaker 1: play and the people with balloons. I think although that
Speaker 1: type those types of fetish, they seem to all be
Speaker 1: very tacked out this this fetish is tacked out too,
Speaker 1: but they like, they like the playfulness of it, um,
Speaker 1: And I think it's almost like role play to like
Speaker 1: all these worlds they kind of overlap, like the animal
Speaker 1: transformation fetish. Also we got into pet play, which I'll
Speaker 1: go into um. But but it's also like it's also
Speaker 1: very connected to b d s M because I'm his sub.
Speaker 1: I am I am a helpless animal creature and he's
Speaker 1: watching me sort of succumb to all this. And that's
Speaker 1: interesting because with b DSM usually the sub is the
Speaker 1: one in control because they say, okay, if I say
Speaker 1: this word, we have to stop. Did you feel like
Speaker 1: you were in control when you were the sub with
Speaker 1: the fur play? Yes, okay, good, Yeah, I've always been.
Speaker 1: He was never like um, like aggressive or abusive, and
Speaker 1: he was very He was a caring person. He was
Speaker 1: just kind of a young person who didn't really have
Speaker 1: his ship together in a lot of ways, um, which
Speaker 1: is like I kept the common theme with all these guys.
Speaker 1: The fetish is not really the problem. It's like that
Speaker 1: it's like a young like a person who just doesn't
Speaker 1: know how to fucking handle ship. And then we're getting
Speaker 1: into this really emotionally engaging stuff. But our relationship isn't
Speaker 1: really like emotionally involved at the same time. So you're
Speaker 1: maturing sexually and really getting involved in contradictory messages. Um so,
Speaker 1: but so for our fur coming out party, I like
Speaker 1: got us a hotel room. Um god, such a he
Speaker 1: called that? Or do you call it? That? Is that
Speaker 1: what you're just referring it to? Oh? I got because
Speaker 1: I didn't know if he was like this is an
Speaker 1: official ceremony. I mean it felt official. So he I
Speaker 1: get out of a a hotel room. Um I have all
Speaker 1: my I own a lot of for coats. I also have.
Speaker 1: I also have like the butt plug. And the great
Speaker 1: thing about the butt plug I go to pick it
Speaker 1: up from this factory. These are all like garment district
Speaker 1: guys to you, like the New York City garment district.
Speaker 1: Unless you work in fashion, you don't really know it.
Speaker 1: But it's all like old Italian guys, like they call
Speaker 1: them garmental. They're like old, like yeah, very misogynistic, like
Speaker 1: kind of it's just a funny worlds like go pick
Speaker 1: up a butt plug and like look of sixty five
Speaker 1: year old like Greek guy in the face, Like here's
Speaker 1: fifty bucks. Um. But the fur butt plug, the one
Speaker 1: that I bought from the factory, the tail was like
Speaker 1: really thin and kind of like dinky looking, and I
Speaker 1: was like a squirrel. Yeah this is underwhelming. Um. And
Speaker 1: but my mom sent me a vest that had like
Speaker 1: a for a detachable fur collar. Nice, thank god you
Speaker 1: have that Parsons girl, My god, And so I'm so
Speaker 1: happy with you. Would be really would be that queen
Speaker 1: and he so, So I detached the collar from the
Speaker 1: fur vest my mom sent me, and I attached it
Speaker 1: to the butt plug. Gave it so much more volume.
Speaker 1: I was like, alright, so beautiful. So I and also,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys have put a butt
Speaker 1: plug in before, not in me? Who that is? Like?
Speaker 1: It was metal, It's metal, It's got a metal one.
Speaker 1: It's shaped like an acorn. This is the thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know. So they're not all metal silicon because I've
Speaker 1: never had a proper butt plug, but I've had like
Speaker 1: the biggest bead on an anal on a link, like
Speaker 1: a string of anal beads, which I think is still
Speaker 1: probably smaller than a butt plug. Yeah. Yeah, you're shoving
Speaker 1: a metal torpedo again, like I'm like, let's do the
Speaker 1: most extreme thing ever and see what happens. And so
Speaker 1: did you just stick it right in? I mean you
Speaker 1: gotta work that and then loup it up. Think about Lou.
Speaker 1: I'm in a hotel room for best and I and
Speaker 1: it's it's got a point. And so I still don't
Speaker 1: started grabbing lotion like the hotel that's center. That's got
Speaker 1: a thing if you have any tears, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like I'm I'm like, I'm like squatting
Speaker 1: and just like kind of trying to shove it in slowly,
Speaker 1: and then I just I just like prop it on
Speaker 1: the ground and kind of like sit on it and
Speaker 1: like foul. I'm like, just do it. Everyone's holes tightening
Speaker 1: around the world. I mind loosened that moment. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: your butthole room two sizes really did. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1: So so, but the thing is once it's once you
Speaker 1: get it past the largest point in the butt plug,
Speaker 1: it kind of like, yeah, it sucks. Your asshole sucks, yeah,
Speaker 1: which is kind of beautiful. It's like it wants it
Speaker 1: to be there. It does. My body was like finally
Speaker 1: and so I get it in now? Is he there
Speaker 1: are you getting prepared before your he's going to come there.
Speaker 1: He hasn't arrived yet. No, he knows that, like I
Speaker 1: got some stuff, but he doesn't really know, like fully
Speaker 1: what's happened. Wish I could see the excitement on his face.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a person so floored. So I had
Speaker 1: the fur, had the fur tail on at a fur jacket,
Speaker 1: and I also laid out all my jackets because he
Speaker 1: was interested in also him putting it on and me
Speaker 1: putting it on. H and I had for handcuffs. I
Speaker 1: had a whip. Um. I had the dog collar which
Speaker 1: I am now wearing that I bought from a pet store. Hey, whatever, ladies,
Speaker 1: cheap stores are so expensive. Caller, go to a pet store.
Speaker 1: That's a really cute one to And I love like
Speaker 1: buying it, being like you don't know, it's a little treat. Um,
Speaker 1: you just measuring it around your own neck, right, Me
Speaker 1: and my dog have the same. It's not like a
Speaker 1: chain that will go in my asshole dogs asshole. I
Speaker 1: need to leave. Um uh. So so he comes over
Speaker 1: and I just have everything like laid out on the bed,
Speaker 1: and he also like he brought a bunch of coke. Um,
Speaker 1: which was like, sure, why not. He was really like
Speaker 1: exploring himself. I don't funk with coke that much. I
Speaker 1: was also like, I don't drink I do at the
Speaker 1: top of your resume shirt. I don't know poke that
Speaker 1: much box with coke. Hey, I don't fox with coke,
Speaker 1: but I will put You don't talk to your daughter
Speaker 1: was talking about coke and okay, maybe if they would
Speaker 1: have talked to their daughter about sex. Sure, I know
Speaker 1: what you seem. Fine, I am great. Um. But so
Speaker 1: he just we were like, we're just gonna fuck in
Speaker 1: this hotel room and just try everything. So you answered
Speaker 1: the door with a with a with a tail up
Speaker 1: your with a tail in my butt, fur coat on
Speaker 1: a kid, just like what's up? And see when you
Speaker 1: direct it didn't pop out that it was really in there.
Speaker 1: It's in there. You can once you get it in there,
Speaker 1: you can like that. But pluts have like a big
Speaker 1: end so that it doesn't get sucked up all the
Speaker 1: way up, because like that could happen. Oh you know,
Speaker 1: I'd be more worried about it coming out because like
Speaker 1: I feel like the butt's natural inclination is to push
Speaker 1: is to push it out. Sure, how soon did he come.
Speaker 1: I mean, we fucked so many times, but the he
Speaker 1: actually he actually held it together, which is crazy. I
Speaker 1: think the coke did help, but he was so he
Speaker 1: was like, let's like, let's hot box. Like I smoke weed.
Speaker 1: I love smoking weed before I have sex. That like
Speaker 1: really I love being inebriated and having sex. Um, but
Speaker 1: I can't drink, so I need something. I mean, I
Speaker 1: can have sex sober. But this whole thing was like,
Speaker 1: let's just are you an alcoholic? We miss that. Okay, okay, shocking.
Speaker 1: Mom's got problems. Um, so so we're like, let's do
Speaker 1: drug and let's funk all over this hotel room. So
Speaker 1: he's doing coke and um, we hot box the bathroom. Uh,
Speaker 1: and I get like really stone and then we start
Speaker 1: sucking around and um, we're just first he has me
Speaker 1: handcuffed and he's like going down on me, and then
Speaker 1: I handcuffed him to um like the I put a
Speaker 1: code in him, handcuffed him to the chair, and I
Speaker 1: was like fucking him and like being on top the
Speaker 1: thing that redhead guys showed you a baby. Thanks for
Speaker 1: the abortion, and thanks for teaching me a less how
Speaker 1: to funk a pillow yeah. I mean it was very
Speaker 1: soft to the thing that I was sucking. And then
Speaker 1: I when he really started to freak out, is when
Speaker 1: I went I did reverse cowgirl because he could see
Speaker 1: the tail, and that's when it was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've never seen someone so excited. And he also lifted
Speaker 1: up to like try to see the pussy and the
Speaker 1: butt like it was very uh animalistic. Yeah, um, and
Speaker 1: we just I don't know, we we He tried the
Speaker 1: coats on. I would try on different coats the longer.
Speaker 1: What a fun night, Oh it was. It was honestly
Speaker 1: one of the best sexual experience I've ever had in
Speaker 1: my life. That sounds fun. I came so I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys e ever, I came so hard
Speaker 1: that I thought I was going to pass out. I've
Speaker 1: done that sometimes I cry, Yeah, not so much energy,
Speaker 1: and like I was also on the he did a
Speaker 1: lot of prep. Oh my god, it's fun. It's fun
Speaker 1: to put effort into sex, yes, you know, and planning
Speaker 1: and it just felt the hotel room up the anti
Speaker 1: two because it just felt very elevated and like like
Speaker 1: I was not a call girl, but it was like
Speaker 1: the fur, the fur and role play kept getting more
Speaker 1: and more intertwined, and so was there any point where
Speaker 1: he said something or did something You're like wait what no, um,
Speaker 1: but like i'd have to The one thing about role
Speaker 1: play is like it feels a little dorky to me sometimes.
Speaker 1: That's one thing that I like, kind of start giggling.
Speaker 1: That's what you gotta have, like, yeah, like a puff
Speaker 1: for a cocktail, because like yeah, and then it takes
Speaker 1: the point away. You can't feel sexy if you're if
Speaker 1: you feel dumb, yeah, you're doing especially like being an
Speaker 1: entertainment business because you're like I'm just in a bad
Speaker 1: play now, yes, exactly, as a comic artifice is like
Speaker 1: really cringe worthy to me. I feel like our job
Speaker 1: is to be, as you know, funny and real and
Speaker 1: everyone jokes and fust balls, and so to be like
Speaker 1: I'm you a dirty little it's like me a little fox. Yeah, sucker.
Speaker 1: I never I never barked. I feel as if our relationship,
Speaker 1: if it got further, I would have gotten into barking,
Speaker 1: but it was more just like I'm your free little slot,
Speaker 1: Like what are you gonna do with? Yeah? Really cool?
Speaker 1: What are your feelings on barking though? What are your feeling.
Speaker 1: I'm interested because we have a lot in common. Someone
Speaker 1: asked me to do that would be like okay, but
Speaker 1: I said I was. I actually was. I was seeing
Speaker 1: a comic who asked me to get down and like
Speaker 1: a dog, and I said, that's something I'm I can't
Speaker 1: because I I honestly end be the person who can
Speaker 1: bark like a dog and own it and fucking freedom.
Speaker 1: It's like you see an improver and you're like you're
Speaker 1: doing and you don't even care what anybody thinks. It's freedom.
Speaker 1: But I really would have no respect for that person,
Speaker 1: and I can't do. That's why I can't do. I
Speaker 1: can't do anything where I'm gonna lose respect for myself. Well,
Speaker 1: it's I can be, I can be too greatest. I
Speaker 1: can do everything, well lose respect for myself. It's literally
Speaker 1: degradation is hot. It is very hot. But that's a
Speaker 1: fine line because when you when you're you're losing respect
Speaker 1: for yourself in a not hot way. I can come more,
Speaker 1: but don't make me feel like a douche bag that
Speaker 1: should be on a bumper stick. Yeah that's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's how that's so. He never asked me to bark.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would bark because I also I
Speaker 1: like role plan, I like being a sub. But I'm
Speaker 1: also more and more cognizant of like you like a
Speaker 1: dumb subsituation or do you hate women and you just
Speaker 1: want to degrade me? Yeah? Sometimes I do. You really
Speaker 1: got to get to know the person to make sure comfortable. Well,
Speaker 1: especially in the b D s M community, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of guys who like are like I'm a DOM
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you just want to get your hatred.
Speaker 1: I want to punch a lady and have a be okay, right? Um?
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that experience with somebody where we're
Speaker 1: not with the first guy or guy? What did they do? So?
Speaker 1: I I met a I met a domb guy on
Speaker 1: tinder Um. Did he say was a domb and his
Speaker 1: profile or in the messaging? No? But he had a
Speaker 1: photo and he was holding a rifle. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: know if anybody ever takes a picture of themselves with
Speaker 1: a gun, you're you're You're not not. I would have
Speaker 1: just thought he was like a Republican. He wasn't. He
Speaker 1: was like, he was very um, he was a very
Speaker 1: strange man. His name was Chris Um, I say first
Speaker 1: and last. I'm like, I'm gonna get in a big
Speaker 1: trouble we have we could believe, We're gonna believe out
Speaker 1: a series of last and don't worry. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to I don't run. Well, it's more like we
Speaker 1: want to protect. Oh do you? And that totally even
Speaker 1: though even if the rps of ship like it's like
Speaker 1: you're telling the story which is your experience altely and
Speaker 1: that was okay, Um, I just keep saying it like
Speaker 1: making you guys edit more. Um No. So he I
Speaker 1: met him and he alluded to being dumps I'm a
Speaker 1: little bit on his Tinder profile, but he also just
Speaker 1: looked very intense. He had like the shaved head and
Speaker 1: he was very tall. The thing is he wasn't he
Speaker 1: actually not everybody was shaved head. I mean, but he
Speaker 1: looked he looked borderline and but he was art He
Speaker 1: was like kind of artsy and hipstory and he was
Speaker 1: a filmmaker. And so I was like, this is an
Speaker 1: interesting contradiction, like what is that? Yeah, what is this? Image?
Speaker 1: Says something? But then what you're saying to something else? Um,
Speaker 1: And he was just kind of like he was a
Speaker 1: cross punk when he was young or he was a runaway.
Speaker 1: He used to used to beat my piece of voluntarily
Speaker 1: run away. Oh yeah, a kid over it, your mom
Speaker 1: hit you whatever, We're fine. Yeah, someone come in your
Speaker 1: face like whatever McDonald's Donald's keep talking like a soldier. Um.
Speaker 1: But he was just very like, Um, he was married,
Speaker 1: he lived in London, he was married for a while,
Speaker 1: and he was currently Mary. That's my line. Actually, I
Speaker 1: do have a line to a line with married guys. Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: so what did guy do? So he just he he
Speaker 1: wasn't doms up. He was telling me that he used
Speaker 1: to like lock partners in cages with their consent, but
Speaker 1: like he was in this world very much. So that's cool.
Speaker 1: I could get into that. Oh me too. Um. And
Speaker 1: he sort of introduced me to like asking asking permission
Speaker 1: to come. Uh that's me in a past life. Um,
Speaker 1: asking permission to come and having him truly be your
Speaker 1: dad and permission to come. God, I love that. Um.
Speaker 1: But the first time that we hooked up, I was
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, when you're so horny that
Speaker 1: your decision making, any of your rationale for decision making
Speaker 1: goes out the window. Of course, so we met on
Speaker 1: Tinder and we were talking for a while and then
Speaker 1: I just he wouldn't we wouldn't like set a day
Speaker 1: to meet up. So I just sent him a picture
Speaker 1: of my ass and was like, you're at like in
Speaker 1: an underwear or your butt hole, not just like bent over.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I got this in the fucking
Speaker 1: I got this, ammo. I'm sending it like that either
Speaker 1: we're gonna fuck or I don't want to. We don't
Speaker 1: just send each other novels about how used to punch Nazis,
Speaker 1: like let's the Nazi. That's nice, it is nice, but
Speaker 1: just anyone who says that I hate don't my Nazis.
Speaker 1: But it's just what if you're bragging about it, it's
Speaker 1: actually come up, you know naturally. Like now, I would
Speaker 1: encounter someone like that and be like, oh, you're very
Speaker 1: insecure and you have like you have to have to
Speaker 1: put all your good cards on the tuttle your life
Speaker 1: and you're so exciting and blah blah blah, and you know,
Speaker 1: um but I was just so horny and uh so
Speaker 1: I was like I sent the as picture and he
Speaker 1: was like, what are you doing tonight? I'm like, got
Speaker 1: him nothing, come over here, and suck me. Um, and
Speaker 1: I this was actually had you met him yet before,
Speaker 1: which is bold. I would not suggest this. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like kind of tinder was relatively new,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why. I just thought this was cool.
Speaker 1: I told the female friend afterwards, and she was never
Speaker 1: do that again. What the fuck? Andrea like, but stupid. Um.
Speaker 1: When you're horny, sometimes you often make your decisions, wildly
Speaker 1: bad decisions. Um. So I was. Also, I had just
Speaker 1: stopped drinking at the time, and so he was. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to meet him at a bar. That's why
Speaker 1: I wasn't going out to meet him in public, cause
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know if I feel comfortable really
Speaker 1: going to bars right now, and I don't know that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to just like get a drink because
Speaker 1: I feel weird and I want to like connect because
Speaker 1: up to then, too, like I had bars to meet
Speaker 1: guys and that's how I was like socializing and around them.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't know if I should set
Speaker 1: put myself in this loaded situation. So he's out drinking,
Speaker 1: I'm like, have like a fun night and just come
Speaker 1: over to my place afterwards. Um. And then I'm sitting alone,
Speaker 1: like getting ramped up for this, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: drunk people love snacks, so I should order food for
Speaker 1: him when he gets here. Uh so, And it was
Speaker 1: I was on grubhub and like Mexican food was the
Speaker 1: only thing that was open at the time. Perfect very
Speaker 1: uh So I order like a buffet of Mexican food
Speaker 1: and a bunch of coffee for myself because I'm like dead,
Speaker 1: sober and tired, and it's like two thirty. He finally, yeah,
Speaker 1: he finally shows up, and he's like exactly as as
Speaker 1: he seemed in the picture. He wasn't like a creep
Speaker 1: and he was very talk like. He was really big though,
Speaker 1: which was like I was like, oh, you could kill
Speaker 1: me and this goes wrong, It's gonna go did you
Speaker 1: live by yourself? Huh? Okay, how old are you at
Speaker 1: this point? I want to say twenty four? Uh he
Speaker 1: was probably in his thirties, evenin or late twenties. Um.
Speaker 1: And so he comes over and he's like drunk and
Speaker 1: he's telling me, talking to me about his life story.
Speaker 1: He's actually very weirdly shy, and so I'm like, here's
Speaker 1: the burrito. Jesus like he has so weird and awkward. Um,
Speaker 1: but eventually he gets the confidence to we start hooking
Speaker 1: up and he just he just shoves it right in
Speaker 1: my ass. Yeah yeah, no finger. Nothing did he say
Speaker 1: he's coming it's coming in, just just like you know
Speaker 1: when they kind of like glide around, Yeah, like chap
Speaker 1: my fucking dick. Yeah yeah yeah, I'm like you knew, um,
Speaker 1: but I was. I was like, yeah, then, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: about the sound you make. Yeah. Um. But I had
Speaker 1: eaten the Mexican food with him. I also had a
Speaker 1: bunch of coffee because I'm fucking dead sober and it's
Speaker 1: to thirty in the morning. So I just started explosively
Speaker 1: shitting on him like it is. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys have ever shipped on anyone before. I have
Speaker 1: never shipped on anyone before. Be like my mom has
Speaker 1: a baby. Yeah well yeah, highly don't recommend. But the
Speaker 1: thing is when you're having it stick still in you,
Speaker 1: when you started shifting, yes, it was like you know what, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is he this was desserved. Yes, the hud billion
Speaker 1: fucking brown scarlet letter for your bad behavior. Um, what
Speaker 1: did he say? Would you say? So I was like Okay.
Speaker 1: So when you're having anal sex, often you feel like
Speaker 1: you might ship because obviously in the area. And so
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I kind of have that feeling,
Speaker 1: um and I like anal sex, but it's just like
Speaker 1: you need to warn a bit consent. Yeah, yes, no
Speaker 1: consent was given, um and so, but once when you
Speaker 1: actually are shooting, it's a completely different You're like you're
Speaker 1: shooting with an object already in the object going in
Speaker 1: and out, in and out ship and I like, so
Speaker 1: I know, it was like, how long did it take
Speaker 1: him to notice? Well, it happened so fast because once
Speaker 1: I started shooting, did you don't stop? It's just like
Speaker 1: it is flying, flying around the room. It's like hogwarts,
Speaker 1: its fucking crazy. And so so he pulls I'm like
Speaker 1: oh bo and he's like okay, and he pulls the
Speaker 1: condom off and it looks like it's covered in melted chocolate.
Speaker 1: It was so savage and it's like on is He's
Speaker 1: like he's like sliping on it. Like it's just like
Speaker 1: it got so it turned into a full double day
Speaker 1: got so her she's all over my bed like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, we're in a bed, the floor
Speaker 1: I was in a bed. What are he saying? He,
Speaker 1: to his credit, he sucking stuck his dick up your asking, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna say? Like what did you do?
Speaker 1: But he was like, okay, let's this is chill because
Speaker 1: he did you ever say I didn't want your penis
Speaker 1: in my ass? I don't think so, which is crazy.
Speaker 1: At that time, your body set it for you. It
Speaker 1: really did. It was like, girl, if you're not going
Speaker 1: to say in this story for standing up to me
Speaker 1: for me? Um. And so we just go take a
Speaker 1: shower together and we're like washing my ship off of
Speaker 1: both of us. What a bonding experience was? It really was? Um.
Speaker 1: And then he's still very drunk, and so I'm just like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna make the bed, I'm
Speaker 1: going to change the sheets, and then I'll put you
Speaker 1: to bed because I am very very for you. Yeah, him,
Speaker 1: you're caring towards him. Well, I think it's like, I am,
Speaker 1: I'm into all these sexual fetishes, and I am an
Speaker 1: aggressive person, but I do I I'm I care a
Speaker 1: lot about other people, and so I do get I
Speaker 1: used to get more taken advantage of I less so
Speaker 1: now because I was like, that guy didn't care about anything,
Speaker 1: you know, his own body because he's now covered in
Speaker 1: my ship. But um, so I put him to bed
Speaker 1: and then but I kept like, once that happens, you're
Speaker 1: the portal is open and you have you want to
Speaker 1: keep shipping because it's like your testines are like something
Speaker 1: happened and we got to clear everything out, like we
Speaker 1: don't know. And so I'm just in the bathroom and
Speaker 1: I don't want him to hear me ship, which is
Speaker 1: like again like very polite. All this is all very Canadian,
Speaker 1: this behavior. It's very like weirdly polite and like and
Speaker 1: so I I had a friend who told me that, um,
Speaker 1: if you're like on a vacation with a boyfriend or whatever,
Speaker 1: you don't want him to hear you ship. This is
Speaker 1: what women talking about even louder and put a megaphone, right,
Speaker 1: you should. That's I believe in that now. But she
Speaker 1: was like, take what up the toilet paper and like
Speaker 1: put it up against your asshole like you know, you
Speaker 1: know when they play the trumpet, and so it doesn't
Speaker 1: have a large yeah, yeah, muffle, you're getting. It's like
Speaker 1: when you put a towel around a gun. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: in this story, and your gun is my ass and
Speaker 1: it's shooting diarrhea out all the time, I would just
Speaker 1: put the faucet on. But yeah, I did, I put
Speaker 1: the fauce. It was too loud. It was explosive. What
Speaker 1: the fun was in this burrito? It was some bad
Speaker 1: someone else's ship, probably, I don't know. Um, So I'm
Speaker 1: just on the toilet, like shitting but like on my
Speaker 1: own hand because it's coming out so fast and sound.
Speaker 1: And then I would and then I would like put
Speaker 1: my hand into the sink and clean it out and
Speaker 1: like like crying, like it is so bad. And it wasn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like I'm upset about I mean, it was
Speaker 1: upset about what had just happened. Was I was like,
Speaker 1: I am comfortable. When is this going to end? And
Speaker 1: I was I think it was shipping. Probably it felt
Speaker 1: like years, but it was like probably a few hours.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he had ship, but he ate the same Mexican,
Speaker 1: the same Mexicano, but no one shoved a fucking dick
Speaker 1: up his ass. And so finally, like I feel like
Speaker 1: I shipped everything out and just cried. It's like I'm empty. Um.
Speaker 1: And then climbed into bed with him, and then the
Speaker 1: next day he was like, do you want to get brunch?
Speaker 1: And I was like, let's get like a Mexican Yeah,
Speaker 1: I share the fruit cup and a glass of water.
Speaker 1: Uh huh um. And we ended up like we ended
Speaker 1: up dating for a little while. Did you ever talk
Speaker 1: to him about the dick in your ass? Then? How
Speaker 1: you got to ask? I mean we yes, but but
Speaker 1: not that night, but like as we but also like
Speaker 1: we got more into kink. But like the thing is
Speaker 1: like again with B D s M, it's like they're
Speaker 1: the dom. They're taking control. The aggression is hot, but
Speaker 1: if the sub doesn't if the dom isn't advocating for
Speaker 1: the sub, or the sub doesn't know their boundaries, because
Speaker 1: consent is the most important. Yeah, and relationship new to it.
Speaker 1: You're just like, I guess this is what happened. So
Speaker 1: there's not a lot of going with the flow with kink.
Speaker 1: You just you have to be you have to be
Speaker 1: on the same plan it out. Yeah, yeah, we have
Speaker 1: to go soon. But ce, I had heard that you
Speaker 1: you had told that story years ago on your podcast,
Speaker 1: and I was there and I was actually going to
Speaker 1: request it, but then I was like, Oh, I'll just
Speaker 1: let her tell what she wanted to do. Request the
Speaker 1: greatest hit? Can I can? I request this story for
Speaker 1: my art I appreciate it. I wanted to request one
Speaker 1: last story yetly because we we've we've been talking over
Speaker 1: now are but the blood play, Yes, that you've experienced
Speaker 1: but with your period blood? Oh wow, this is very
Speaker 1: progressive and I know it's not a feminist blood play
Speaker 1: scenarios the third wave ladies. Yeah. That. So I've done
Speaker 1: blood play with my period twice. Um, and both of
Speaker 1: them were with like partners. I was fairly comfortable with.
Speaker 1: The first time was like, I have if someone doesn't
Speaker 1: want to have periods acts with me, and like, get
Speaker 1: out of my house. Ye, good answer. I'm gonna gargle
Speaker 1: your weird junkie come like you're gonna junkie blood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little fat diet like nasty. Um. But so I
Speaker 1: had period sex with a guy and I think we're
Speaker 1: on coke. I'm not sure. Um, it was a while ago.
Speaker 1: Things are unclear. Um, but I just like the blood
Speaker 1: started getting on my hands, um, and then I and
Speaker 1: then I started getting on the wall and I was like,
Speaker 1: because I was holding the wall to like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: did look like a murder scene. Um. But then I
Speaker 1: was just kind of like this is again. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is so extreme and crazy and I really like
Speaker 1: that this is happening because I'm like, sech, we're already here,
Speaker 1: already like shoving our parts into one another, Like how
Speaker 1: can we take this further? So I kind of like
Speaker 1: swiped down there and just like wiped it on his face.
Speaker 1: That is a risk. It was bold. That was in
Speaker 1: the ass. I mean he was already covered, he was
Speaker 1: already coughed. Yeah, he was already covered in blood. Um.
Speaker 1: And I was also choking him too, like blood around
Speaker 1: his neck. Yeah. And I was just kind of like
Speaker 1: can I up the antie? And he loved it? Um.
Speaker 1: But I think he's just fun. It was fun. He
Speaker 1: was really cool, like he he was very kinky. We
Speaker 1: used to like project I had a projector in my
Speaker 1: apartment at the time, and we used to like project
Speaker 1: porn on the wall and like fucking my living room.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It was it was dope. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: then then he would just sort of like finger me
Speaker 1: and kind of we were just kind of like getting
Speaker 1: it everywhere. Yeah, and sometimes when blood and like come
Speaker 1: and sweat mixed together. It's just kind of this pink film.
Speaker 1: She's just like nasty. But like day one period blood
Speaker 1: is very clean. Day one no, no, yeah, that's been
Speaker 1: there for a while. Yeah, because because it's been sitting
Speaker 1: there all month. But then day two, you're good, you
Speaker 1: cleared the pipes a little bit. This is the new batch. Okay,
Speaker 1: And then have did you incorporate with that particular partner?
Speaker 1: Did you do it again? Yeah? So whenever I would
Speaker 1: have my period, we would just kind of get it everywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, And I like sometimes I would like
Speaker 1: have he would like finger me, and then he would
Speaker 1: like put it in his mouth and his mouth You
Speaker 1: ever put it in your mouth? Yeah? It tastes good, rusty,
Speaker 1: it's metallic, yeah, old pennies Yeah yeah, yeah, it's it's fun. Um.
Speaker 1: It's just like I don't know, I think once you
Speaker 1: do one of the taboo body fluids, like I had
Speaker 1: already peat on someone at that point, Like, who gives
Speaker 1: a fuck? Oh period blood? What do we do? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I mean you're already sucking the
Speaker 1: part like sex, really think about it is gross and
Speaker 1: nest wedding on each other like, oh my god, let's
Speaker 1: not get too dirty. Was this before after you had
Speaker 1: shipped on the guy? It was after the ship Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're like, you know what, I already have like
Speaker 1: a black brown belt. Yeah, you know, period blood's much easier.
Speaker 1: I think the feces to Yeah, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: have the shipping like that was an accident. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not like anti shitting. I actually I
Speaker 1: used to pee on a guy and I really did
Speaker 1: like that. Um. I wouldn't like bring it up with
Speaker 1: a new partner, but if someone was into it, I'd
Speaker 1: be yeah fuck yeah. But that's amazing, it's awesome cool. So, uh,
Speaker 1: you have a podcast called The Hot Mess Comedy Hour.
Speaker 1: Where can we find that? Anywhere? You can find podcast, Spotify,
Speaker 1: all the places. Yeah, you're on the r G Comedy
Speaker 1: Now work right with my probably yeah, our sweet boy
Speaker 1: Mike mike'sperising Crens podcasts. That's awesome. Anything else you want
Speaker 1: to promote, No, just check out my podcast. Social media,
Speaker 1: where can we find you? You can follow me at
Speaker 1: um Instagram is probably one of my favorites. UM and
Speaker 1: follow a Hot Mess Comedy Our on Instagram. UM and
Speaker 1: hot Mess podcast on Twitter. I'm Andrea Underscore Allen eight
Speaker 1: eight on Instagram, which is annoying. Um, but follow me
Speaker 1: there as well. Um, we're going we the hot Mess
Speaker 1: Comedy or we're going to l A to do a
Speaker 1: live show. Um may believe may for I don't want
Speaker 1: to miss quote the date. But it's all on our
Speaker 1: social media. It's gonna be awesome. Our listeners would love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your listeners are awesome. And it's it's me and another
Speaker 1: female co host, so it's like a similar dynamic I
Speaker 1: feel and our show. We ask people why they're a
Speaker 1: hot Mess and we come up with a lot of
Speaker 1: different answers. So yeah, it's fun. It's pretty free spirited
Speaker 1: and I love it. Check it out. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: This has been guys. We fucked the anti slug Chamning podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you next Friday. The book where you
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Speaker 1: Did you have some seeker