Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys we Guys we Book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night anti
Speaker 1: sluck shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello, fucker's Welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the Anti sluck
Speaker 1: Shaming Podcast. I'm Karin. Hey, I'm Christina. Welcome. We're fine,
Speaker 1: We're good. Um. So we're gonna try a new thing
Speaker 1: on the podcast where we're gonna start each episode with
Speaker 1: a current event or like women slanted yeah news thing,
Speaker 1: because you know, women are cool and we want to
Speaker 1: talk about them this week. Unfortunately, we're gonna start with
Speaker 1: Toronto vanitech suspect expressed anger at women. Oh they will
Speaker 1: fuck me right. So a lot of people fortunately emailed
Speaker 1: us and tweeted us about this. Uh, I went directly.
Speaker 1: I'm the source I'm using for the information is the
Speaker 1: New York Times article, because I wanted to, you know,
Speaker 1: I wanted it to be like somewhat yeah, yeah, that's good,
Speaker 1: that's good. And so basically Toronto it's uh, it might
Speaker 1: be the deadliest uh vehicular assault in Toronto's history. They're
Speaker 1: still you know, getting the numbers together, but basically This guy,
Speaker 1: twenty five years old, was charged with ten counts of
Speaker 1: first degree murder oh my god, and thirteen counts of
Speaker 1: attempted murder after he drove his van onto a busy sidewalk,
Speaker 1: just like into people. And right before he did it,
Speaker 1: he put on Facebook a very angry and hostile message
Speaker 1: towards women. It has since been deleted. I'm sure, I'm
Speaker 1: sure someone has it, but yeah it is. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be likely to be Canada's deadly vehicular assault. Okay, so
Speaker 1: he he especially said that. What did he say about
Speaker 1: the women that they wouldn't block him? I have not
Speaker 1: been reading the news lately because I'm taking a little break. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's twenty five years old and the white people know.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing by his name. I'm not sure, but at
Speaker 1: at age twenty two he was still a virgin and
Speaker 1: was really pissed about that. I mean, like, it's not
Speaker 1: that yeah, it's not that old, um, And certainly if
Speaker 1: you're a virgin, the way to get late is to
Speaker 1: not to kill people too with your van. Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: here he is. Yeah, it's like kind of like almost
Speaker 1: like a like a Russian last name. I'm not sure Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think that matters, just like he was a dude.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, I mean I'm reading into it.
Speaker 1: I mean like, yeah, everyone's like that's crazy, and like,
Speaker 1: yeah he got rejected. He is. But also, if you
Speaker 1: go down, he also has some type of mental illness.
Speaker 1: He has it, he has a tick. He has definitely
Speaker 1: looks to have at least as Burgers by the behavior
Speaker 1: that is described um here. So it's not just like
Speaker 1: you know, that's my thing kind of, it's kinda like
Speaker 1: you gotta read the whole article. That's why it's really important.
Speaker 1: We're really you know, people just are like see it's
Speaker 1: see a title and see like three facts about something
Speaker 1: and then message us or or tweet us angrily and like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this guy didn't get laid so he
Speaker 1: killed people. Yeah, no, it's not good. He shouldn't have
Speaker 1: been on the streets. This guy looks like he really
Speaker 1: needed mental health care and and showed very various instances
Speaker 1: in his life where he his behavior or action said hey,
Speaker 1: I need help. And you know, time and time again,
Speaker 1: people with mental um illness or mental disorders or anxiety
Speaker 1: disorders are just not getting the help they need and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm you know, most people will not end
Speaker 1: up killing ten people on a sidewalk with a van,
Speaker 1: but then some people will. And I know people like, well,
Speaker 1: mental illness isn't an excuse. I mean, I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone's using as an excuse. It's just like mental illnesses
Speaker 1: is mental illness. So it's like you're not you're you're
Speaker 1: not thinking correctly when you are doing these actions. So
Speaker 1: it's like you can't make a you're not in a
Speaker 1: decision in the right state of mind when you're doing
Speaker 1: something like that argument kind of doesn't even really work. Uh,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I think it's just like we need to
Speaker 1: really like pay attention to people, and social media is
Speaker 1: a great way to kind of get inside people's minds. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, there's various people on social media that I'm
Speaker 1: friends with. It I'm like, okay, you have a level,
Speaker 1: you know, reach out or something. And I mean, again,
Speaker 1: it's not you don't. That's not okay to kill ten people.
Speaker 1: But also, this is not just a guy who was
Speaker 1: angry because no one danced with him at the Boys
Speaker 1: and Girls club. It's a little bit deeper than that.
Speaker 1: Um So I guess we'll get more information on that.
Speaker 1: Don't over advance, okay, but I mean men do act
Speaker 1: out sometimes when they get rejected. I mean lots of
Speaker 1: serial killers. Girls too. We just like stomp our feet
Speaker 1: and cry, you know well as I I something with
Speaker 1: our inner working is we're just not as likely to
Speaker 1: result in like to resort to violence or killing people,
Speaker 1: just which is interesting because I feel like just women
Speaker 1: have a deep like I have so much anger in me.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't. I don't want to kill anybody, um,
Speaker 1: but I do want to punch a punching bag. And
Speaker 1: that's why I use talk Space. What a transition, Christina,
Speaker 1: Thank you. Today's show is sponsored by talk Space, the
Speaker 1: online therapy company that lets you message a license therapist
Speaker 1: from anywhere at any time, even if you're on the
Speaker 1: goddamn toilet. Can't imagine fitting another appointment in your life.
Speaker 1: Calm down, okay, So square Space therapy is as easy
Speaker 1: as just sending your therapist a text message. There's no commutes,
Speaker 1: you don't leave the office, there's no judgments to match
Speaker 1: with the perfect therapist for a fraction of the price
Speaker 1: of traditional therapy, go to talk space dot com slash
Speaker 1: DWF and use the code g WF to get forty
Speaker 1: five bucks off your first month, and you should show
Speaker 1: the support for this show again. That is GWF at
Speaker 1: talk space dot com slash GWF. Alright, come see us live, guys.
Speaker 1: This is not an ad. This is well, I mean,
Speaker 1: it is kind of an add but one for us,
Speaker 1: one for fun. A lot of people have been saying, Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't know when you're in my city. This is
Speaker 1: the part of the podcast where you will tell you that.
Speaker 1: Tonight in New York City, it's Nacho Bitches. That's my
Speaker 1: monthly show with Blair Saki. We're gonna have a special
Speaker 1: guest host tonight. That's justin perez Uh. It's New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club, which is on the corner of four and
Speaker 1: Second Avenue, eleven thirty pm. Tickets are twelve dollars with
Speaker 1: code Nacho and we have a great lineup including Jeffrey Gurian,
Speaker 1: who a lot of you loved on the Guys, and
Speaker 1: we have flect podcast. And then the next day Tomorrow Saturday,
Speaker 1: Wendy Starling and I are co hosting Glama Puss, but
Speaker 1: at a new time, which is eight thirty pm. Because
Speaker 1: when he's got a show beforehand, So we're gonna start
Speaker 1: at eight thirty at Zinc Bar. Eighty two was third treaty.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be the best night of your life. If
Speaker 1: you are in Columbus, Ohio, we'll be at the Funny
Speaker 1: Bone May three, Kansas City, Missouri. You're a replacement date
Speaker 1: because Indianapolis didn't work out. So we're gonna be in
Speaker 1: you at the Kansas City improv May fourth and fifth.
Speaker 1: We're doing four shows total, and then Sunday, Oh, that's you.
Speaker 1: And then Sunday we're gonna be in Cincinnati, Ohio at
Speaker 1: the Funny Bone. Uh. And then East Providence, Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: Made tenth through twelveth we're gonna be at the Comedy Connection.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to go there. I heard that's a
Speaker 1: great club. For all our tour dates, go to Sorry
Speaker 1: about last Night Comedy dot com slash Tours. We have
Speaker 1: other dates coming up. If you don't see the ticket
Speaker 1: link yet, that means that the club didn't make it
Speaker 1: available yet. Um, so please. We're working through the cities
Speaker 1: as we can and we're gonna get to you eventually,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna reschedule Indianapolis. We just don't have a
Speaker 1: date again. That was out of our hands. Uh, guys,
Speaker 1: while you're waiting for us, you can hang around in
Speaker 1: your me. Andy is me. Andy's is the best end
Speaker 1: to where you will ever um super comfortable and even
Speaker 1: more importantly for me, because I value fashion overcomfort. They're
Speaker 1: fucking cute. There's not enough nice like patterned adult underwear.
Speaker 1: And I'm so bored looking at my own vagina and
Speaker 1: now I don't made from sustainably source naturally soft fabric
Speaker 1: that is three times softer than cotton, me, Andy's will
Speaker 1: be the most comfortable pair of underwear you own. They
Speaker 1: are the ultimate feel good dyes for when you want
Speaker 1: to feel naked but not be naked. That's true. I
Speaker 1: wear them around all the time, Uh, and I feel naked,
Speaker 1: but I'm not naked and not getting vagina juices all
Speaker 1: over my couch. Uh, Ladies. They come in tons of
Speaker 1: different colors and styles, including solids and lace, boy short,
Speaker 1: bikini and thong. Something for everyone and every occasion. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're a man and you want to put that on,
Speaker 1: that's fine too. Start getting thongs, Fellas. The diamond scenes
Speaker 1: pouch gives your stuff the support it needs. Without feeling
Speaker 1: too tight. She means your dick me Andy's is so
Speaker 1: sure you will love their underwear. They offer a satisfaction guarantee.
Speaker 1: If you don't love your first pair, get a full
Speaker 1: refund right now our listeners will get off your first
Speaker 1: pair and free shipping. This is a no brainer. Try
Speaker 1: off free shipping and satisfaction guarantee. What are you waiting for?
Speaker 1: To get your twenty percent off free shipping and satisfaction
Speaker 1: guarantee and get the best in stofts Is underwear you
Speaker 1: will ever own. Go to meets dot com slash g
Speaker 1: WF like to meet dys dot com slash GWF. Well,
Speaker 1: now that your vagina is all in your underwear and
Speaker 1: that's not hanging out, you sloppy bitch. Get your titties right.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about Third Love. I love Third Love. I'm
Speaker 1: wearing them now. My boobs are currently being supported by them,
Speaker 1: and it's good Bras. If you have big old ditties,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Uh. But when it comes
Speaker 1: to Bras shopping, it's all about finding the correct fit
Speaker 1: for you. And there's only one lingerie brand that office
Speaker 1: broad sizes in double A through J, and that is
Speaker 1: Third Love, no one else except Third Love. Third Love
Speaker 1: uses real women's sizes and super smooth memory filed to
Speaker 1: create bras that fit and feel great. And you want
Speaker 1: to go out and show all the boys you titties
Speaker 1: because they looks so good and your Third Love bra.
Speaker 1: Why while most old school bra brands only carry fifteen sizes,
Speaker 1: Third Love says, funk all, y'all, We're offering sixty sizes,
Speaker 1: including half cup, which no one else does. So fuck
Speaker 1: Third Love knows there's a perfect fitting brawl for everyone.
Speaker 1: Why fucking hopes? So with all those goddamn sizes, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of work. So right now they're offering guys
Speaker 1: who fun listeners fifteen percent off of your first order.
Speaker 1: So to find the bra you've been waiting for, you
Speaker 1: don't need a man, You need a bra for All
Speaker 1: you have to do is answer a few simple questions
Speaker 1: from Third loves fit finder quiz. It takes a minute,
Speaker 1: that's not a lot of time, and you can do
Speaker 1: it from home while you're sitting on the ass. You
Speaker 1: can sit naked. I don't care never have another awkward
Speaker 1: pinning room experience again, And I always wonder what had
Speaker 1: to happen for them to put that line of copy
Speaker 1: in there, but someone got weird and fondly try Third
Speaker 1: Love the Third Love Bra. It's so comfortable you're probably
Speaker 1: gonna forget you wearing it, and if you don't agree,
Speaker 1: fuck you. Returns and exchanges are easy and free this year,
Speaker 1: make the change the change for your titties okay, and
Speaker 1: change the way you think about bras this is what
Speaker 1: you do. You gotta go to third Love dot com
Speaker 1: slash GWF now to find your perfect fitting bra and
Speaker 1: get off your first purchase again Third Love dot com
Speaker 1: slash GWF. Never tweet us what the offer code is
Speaker 1: again Third Love dot com slash g WF. Last day,
Speaker 1: I promise our last sponsor of today's Guys We Funked
Speaker 1: episode is Audible. I fucking love Audible. Audio books are
Speaker 1: a great sidekick for summer activities like hiking and running
Speaker 1: and road tripping and drinking margaritas with you from Melissa
Speaker 1: by the Pool just me okay. With the largest selection
Speaker 1: of audio books on the planet, Audible lets you fill
Speaker 1: your summer with more stories like six Promises for Emotional
Speaker 1: well Being by Dr Susan Forwood. That's the one I
Speaker 1: have because I have issues setting boundaries for myself. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: as an Audible member, you'll get a credit every month
Speaker 1: good for any audio book, regardless of the price. Unused
Speaker 1: credits roll over to the next month, and if you
Speaker 1: didn't like the audio book, you can exchange it and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna ask you any questions. That's pretty cool. Plus,
Speaker 1: your books are yours to keep, go back, and you
Speaker 1: listen anytime, even if you cancel your membership. Oh damn,
Speaker 1: that's a good that's a good gig. Better yet, you
Speaker 1: can switch seamlessly between devices, picking up exactly where you
Speaker 1: left off, whether it's on your phone, through your car,
Speaker 1: from a tablet, or at home on an Amazon Echo. Damn,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of technology. Start a thirty day trial
Speaker 1: and your first audio book is free. You just got
Speaker 1: to go to audible dot com slash g w F
Speaker 1: or text g WF to five zero zero five zero zero. Again,
Speaker 1: that is Audible A U, D I, B L E
Speaker 1: dot com slash g w F or text g WF
Speaker 1: to five zero zero five zero zero. You can do
Speaker 1: it with audio books all right. Um, Okay, so I
Speaker 1: feel pretty came out this week. Guys. That's Amy Schumer's
Speaker 1: a new film. Um, and we both so you ended
Speaker 1: up er. We both saw it, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if I have like this is like gonna probably move
Speaker 1: to one of my favorite comedies of all time. I
Speaker 1: laughed consistently. It's almost a two hour movie. I laughed
Speaker 1: consistently for two hours. Did you feel that way? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was like Schumer is fucking hilarious, and I'm so
Speaker 1: sick of seeing these fucking movies about chicks. Were like, um,
Speaker 1: back Ethen's robble, like it's just like, be fucking realist,
Speaker 1: real race, can you be real? Well? I liked it
Speaker 1: because she wasn't a hot mess in this one. She
Speaker 1: was just like a like a regular human being with flaws,
Speaker 1: which is something that we don't see often, uh in
Speaker 1: in films about women, and I love. I was so
Speaker 1: amped to see this movie that I remember seeing the trailer,
Speaker 1: and I saw the trailer before I heard any of
Speaker 1: the backlash, and like, oh my god, when is there
Speaker 1: not backlash about anything? There's consistent backlash basically everything. Amy
Speaker 1: Schumer does his backlash and she's gotta be fucking I
Speaker 1: would be infuriated, and she is, she said, I I
Speaker 1: saw a quote from her that said basically like other
Speaker 1: people are energy vampires, and I was like, wow, I've
Speaker 1: never I've never felt so connected to another human being
Speaker 1: because that's exactly how I feel about others, that they
Speaker 1: are energy vampires and they're just trying to ruin her success.
Speaker 1: Um and well, I mean a lot of the backlash
Speaker 1: was about like they were like, well, she's an able
Speaker 1: bodied person and she's just like a regular sized woman
Speaker 1: and she's but she's but you're you could say that,
Speaker 1: but then why does everybody call her fucking fat all
Speaker 1: the goddamn time? Well, well that's my point. She gets
Speaker 1: called fat all the time, cold and I have heard
Speaker 1: male comedians call her fucking fat all the and it's like,
Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. Yeah, And I mean, I think
Speaker 1: I have a really where me and Amy Schumer released.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's like five eight but one time she
Speaker 1: said she's like a hundred and sixty pounds, which is
Speaker 1: like I'm five foot three and a half and like
Speaker 1: a hundred and fifty five pounds, And I totally like,
Speaker 1: I feel like we have a very similar body type.
Speaker 1: And I know she's not lying because I was like,
Speaker 1: people call me fat all the time, and it's the
Speaker 1: entertainment business, and it's just like, yeah, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is the perfect movie for someone. No one is saying
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer, like no one who with without a mental
Speaker 1: disorder say saying that Amy Schumer is fat. Those are
Speaker 1: like trolls on Twitter. But she's she used to say
Speaker 1: that she is a leading woman body type, or or
Speaker 1: that she is what we have come to expect from
Speaker 1: the celebrities that we worship on social media and in
Speaker 1: TV and movies is inaccurate and everyone is fooling themselves.
Speaker 1: I mean it would be you know, it's cool if
Speaker 1: we want to move forward and start casting people um
Speaker 1: that are of you know, a more average body type.
Speaker 1: But it's certainly where we are now. And as someone
Speaker 1: in the entertainment business who is actively auditioning, I can
Speaker 1: tell you and this is why it's frustrating to me.
Speaker 1: And people are like, oh, you're down on yourself about
Speaker 1: your way. I'm like, no, no no, no, no, you stop
Speaker 1: putting words into my mouth. So fucking frustrating. That happens
Speaker 1: to me all the time. If I was not in
Speaker 1: the entertainment business, I would be great with how I look.
Speaker 1: And it's not like I feel bad about how I look.
Speaker 1: The reason why I care about my way in a
Speaker 1: sentence is because I have worked too hard to miss
Speaker 1: out on opportunities because of fifteen to twenty pounds. That
Speaker 1: is the reason in a sentence. And I am not
Speaker 1: gonna put my I am not gonna I know, like
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two years old, I am not going to
Speaker 1: change the entertainment business, you know, in the uh, in
Speaker 1: the eight years I have left to get roles as
Speaker 1: like a young a youngish woman in Hollywood, and so
Speaker 1: I am not gonna put myself out there to be
Speaker 1: the mark like Funk that I have worked too fucking hard,
Speaker 1: uh to not get called in for roles or not
Speaker 1: to do roles that I know I would like nail
Speaker 1: and be so funny at that. So I love this.
Speaker 1: Amy said Funk that I'm creating a role for myself
Speaker 1: where I play a regular woman and she's not trying
Speaker 1: to say she's beautiful. In fact, in the movie she's
Speaker 1: saying it doesn't. Madrid was like, I don't give a
Speaker 1: funk what you look like. Yeah, the most interesting people,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's no offense to people who are
Speaker 1: looking there. I mean, hey, there are some good looking
Speaker 1: or thin interesting people. The most interesting people I know
Speaker 1: are usually not the hottest. It usually doesn't go hand
Speaker 1: in hand. Um, but that like that is my point,
Speaker 1: and I am so sick of you know. I love
Speaker 1: that she like made fun of herself. She uh there's
Speaker 1: a scene where she does a like a bikini contest.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love that and she just gets into
Speaker 1: it and I was like, I love this scene. I
Speaker 1: would totally do that because you just need to be like,
Speaker 1: this is what my body looks like. You know, I
Speaker 1: no problem. I've performed naked in front of my peers before.
Speaker 1: Like I don't give a ship, but it's like you
Speaker 1: gotta give regular sized people the opportunity to because otherwise
Speaker 1: I'm just really angry that I didn't get the opportunity.
Speaker 1: And everyone is everyone is so fucking full of ship
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, like I love yourself, but
Speaker 1: then those are the same people to call you fat
Speaker 1: or say, you know, change something about yourself or you
Speaker 1: know all you're falling on Instagram or like really hot
Speaker 1: people and like I do it too, But I also
Speaker 1: I am not calling people fat. Well sometimes but you know,
Speaker 1: when they deserve it. Um, and then it's also this
Speaker 1: kind of new thing of like, you know, just like
Speaker 1: everyone is beautiful we've talked about on the podcast before,
Speaker 1: everyone isn't. But that's not the point. It's not important. Well,
Speaker 1: I liked in the movie. I like that scene where
Speaker 1: she does a bikini contest because the guy that she
Speaker 1: just started dating is like, wait what, And then he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to do it because he's worried for yeah,
Speaker 1: and she's He's like, this is weird. And then she
Speaker 1: gets so into it, and then everyone loves her the
Speaker 1: most and the best, and she's the most key starts
Speaker 1: to fall for her for the first time. You see
Speaker 1: that little glimmer in his eyes because she's fun and
Speaker 1: doesn't give a fuck. And then the fact that like
Speaker 1: she didn't care that she didn't win it, and the
Speaker 1: Grory Scovel's character was like really and and he was
Speaker 1: just so in awe of that, but he found that
Speaker 1: so sexy. One of the only criticisms that I had
Speaker 1: picked up on this was a while ago before the
Speaker 1: movie came out about Amy Schumer's movie was you don't
Speaker 1: have to like bump your head in assault cycle class
Speaker 1: to get like feel like you're pretty no, that's not
Speaker 1: the point of the movie. Point a fucking movie is
Speaker 1: you can be confident, and that is what's sexy. You
Speaker 1: do not have to be physically hot to be sexy,
Speaker 1: because some people that I know are that are physically
Speaker 1: are so insecure that I wouldn't want to fuck them
Speaker 1: if you paid me well. And the thing is, if
Speaker 1: we did a movie where Amy Schumer, I loved that,
Speaker 1: she has to hit herself on the on the head
Speaker 1: and it is like, you know, if you guys have
Speaker 1: seen the movie Big, it's like an homage to Big. Basically,
Speaker 1: so she hits her head. And so if Amy Schumer
Speaker 1: had walked into this movie without hitting her head and
Speaker 1: just believed that she was like top ten mas a stroke,
Speaker 1: that would have been the most stupid plot for a
Speaker 1: movie I've ever seen. Because we see Amy Schumer, Amy
Speaker 1: Schumer is wonderful. She is not a top ten model. Well,
Speaker 1: she's just not. It's funny. Melissa, my best friend who
Speaker 1: went with me to see the movie, she thought that
Speaker 1: the thing was going to be after she hit her
Speaker 1: head and she looked in the mirror, she saw a
Speaker 1: hotter version of herself, like a skinnier version. But she
Speaker 1: just saw herself and was like excited about it, and
Speaker 1: she was like, Oh, that's so much better. That's such
Speaker 1: a stronger point. Oh it was. It was. It was
Speaker 1: so magical. And there was like a bunch I went
Speaker 1: to see with Justin Perez and there was a bunch
Speaker 1: of hot girls sitting behind us and literally at one
Speaker 1: point one of them sat out loud. I don't get it,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, because I it is really
Speaker 1: curious to see because I don't know, like I think,
Speaker 1: if you're really hot, the point might be missed, like
Speaker 1: really like top ten model hot, and if you're really unattractive,
Speaker 1: the point by me miss But I think this is
Speaker 1: a regular looking, regular looking, regular weighted women are the
Speaker 1: middle class of women. We are constantly overlooked. Like if
Speaker 1: you if you're not if you're not plus size and
Speaker 1: you're not fucking gorgeous, just no one does anything for you.
Speaker 1: The plus size women get negative ship. Well not now
Speaker 1: any not anymore. But I mean like now it's kind
Speaker 1: of like that that is exactly that two words kind
Speaker 1: of because it's like still like okay, well, it's like
Speaker 1: there's no place for me, and even in the in
Speaker 1: the entertainment business business classically, it's like either you're gonna
Speaker 1: be really overweight and you're gonna be the comedic relief,
Speaker 1: or you're gonna be really thin and beautiful and you're
Speaker 1: gonna be the lead. So where do regular sized people
Speaker 1: fit in? And Amy Schumer is like the definition of
Speaker 1: a regular looking, regular sized woman and I fucking loved it.
Speaker 1: Um and uh yeah, and I mean just even without
Speaker 1: we don't you know all these messages, so it's just
Speaker 1: like purely based on hilarity. It is so funny. Any
Speaker 1: Schumer created a piece where she could shine and she comedy,
Speaker 1: so she is so so talented. Yeah, And it's interesting
Speaker 1: because right now I have like a big portion about
Speaker 1: like you know, late loss and working out because it's
Speaker 1: like something I devote a lot of my time to
Speaker 1: fitness and health and I spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: on it, so obviously I'm going to write about it
Speaker 1: because that's a big part of my life. And even
Speaker 1: this past weekend, after a commad show where we do
Speaker 1: stand up comedy jokes, jokes yeah came up and they
Speaker 1: were really well meaning, but one of them like took
Speaker 1: me aside, which please never do this, like unless you
Speaker 1: could have a heart at heart where you tell me
Speaker 1: something about the group. No, no, you can, like you
Speaker 1: can tell me something that moved you or something we
Speaker 1: helped you, if that's fine, But like, if you're going
Speaker 1: to give me advice on myself, don't I truly mean that?
Speaker 1: And like this is this whole podcast is and has
Speaker 1: been an exercise and self exploration. I set it up
Speaker 1: for us, so you know, like that's like I that
Speaker 1: was like my whole fucking vision when I wanted to
Speaker 1: do this is like I want to become better through
Speaker 1: learning about ourselves. Uh, through the people that we have
Speaker 1: the most intimate relationships with. This whole fucking point of
Speaker 1: the podcast. And it's more than done that. Um. And
Speaker 1: so this girl coming and this is not against her,
Speaker 1: I just it's just really rubbed me the wrong way.
Speaker 1: And I know you're you meant well and you're a
Speaker 1: nice person and it's not. But she took me a
Speaker 1: sign and she was just like in our group of friends, UM,
Speaker 1: if anyone says something bad about their bodies, we have
Speaker 1: they have to do a shot and you have an
Speaker 1: it's not healthy and after watching your set and they
Speaker 1: have to do like ten shots and guess what the
Speaker 1: set all the jokes I have, I have so much
Speaker 1: self deprecation in my that's because it's so funny. It
Speaker 1: makes me feel so good, and I love laughing at
Speaker 1: myself because it's like if I don't know, if you
Speaker 1: guys have not caught caught on, like I think I'm
Speaker 1: like the greatest person in the world. Literally, My problem,
Speaker 1: and like most of my romantic relationships, is that I
Speaker 1: am underappreciated. I am not treated as the queen that
Speaker 1: I think I am, truly and so and like. But
Speaker 1: that comment made me feel terrible because I was like,
Speaker 1: number one, you missed the point. And there's nothing that
Speaker 1: makes me feel more alone in the world than just
Speaker 1: as someone saying something to me that I'm just like wow,
Speaker 1: like a fan and you completely don't get my art,
Speaker 1: me nothing about me, like I can't imagine listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast for this long and like you thinking that
Speaker 1: like I need like some like pad on the back
Speaker 1: or some surfacy thing like doing a shot when I
Speaker 1: say something that it's just like miss the point. And
Speaker 1: so I think it's just like a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and I sometimes I feel people tense up on those
Speaker 1: jokes and I've even considered, um, you know because in
Speaker 1: regular audiences like in this mixed audiences, no one every joke,
Speaker 1: those jokes always crushed. But in these predominantly female, young
Speaker 1: audiences that we performed too, mostly on the road, I
Speaker 1: feel people tensing up on like jokes about wait, and
Speaker 1: I even thought about like not doing them, and I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck it. I was like, I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: the jokes. So they're the hardest for me to execute
Speaker 1: on the road, to show people like what comedy is,
Speaker 1: what the beauty and comedy is, and why I love
Speaker 1: it so much and it's had such an impact on
Speaker 1: my life and so uh and so it's like I
Speaker 1: feel like it's just a lot of people who still
Speaker 1: feel bad about their own bodies projecting that on me,
Speaker 1: and like they're feeling bad about themselves and they're thinking, well,
Speaker 1: she must also feel bad about herself, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I don't know how to say how incorrect
Speaker 1: you are. And um, and also too, it just feels
Speaker 1: shitty to be able to be a stand up comedian
Speaker 1: and that's your art and you do a joke about
Speaker 1: your body and it's going to be more of a
Speaker 1: negative joke, probably because that's what's funny, and that's what
Speaker 1: makes the comedian feel good. Like when I joke about
Speaker 1: something negative about myself, that makes me feel more in
Speaker 1: control of and more secure about the quality to be
Speaker 1: honest like and so I love that, But then someone going,
Speaker 1: you need to think better about yourself, like bitch got
Speaker 1: I just get comments like that all the time, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're really really missing the very essence of
Speaker 1: who I am. And it's like if I couldn't convey
Speaker 1: that in four plus years of podcasting and half a book,
Speaker 1: there's nothing that I can say, and it's like a
Speaker 1: larger problem and I just really don't know how to
Speaker 1: deal with it. I've thought of articles and pitching it,
Speaker 1: and like, I just and you know, there's so many
Speaker 1: things we've talked about this before, like shows where people
Speaker 1: have tried to censor me talking about it, and it's like,
Speaker 1: please don't make my comedy about you. I mean that's
Speaker 1: every comedians wish. Yeah, And that's why I just love
Speaker 1: this movie so much, because she just it's just like
Speaker 1: an and not often talked about group of women, like
Speaker 1: really regular women, and like, I mean, everyone I talked
Speaker 1: about Soul Cycle all the time I go there and
Speaker 1: like how she feels and soul Cycle is exactly how
Speaker 1: I feel. Because I think it's I think it's great
Speaker 1: to know who you are. I'm a regular gal, and
Speaker 1: I think that's why a lot of people like the podcast.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like, oh, you're like regular. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: podcast would not work. Karrent and I were like five
Speaker 1: ft ten gorgeous Emily re and it wouldn't work. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's just like I love. I love being a
Speaker 1: regular person. It's nice, I feel like, And you know,
Speaker 1: I think there's a couple isolated periods in my life.
Speaker 1: I think like in college, I was like really hot
Speaker 1: and it was like night. I remember that and I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, it was like nice for a couple
Speaker 1: of years. It was like a real break from like
Speaker 1: having to impress anyone with my personality and it was
Speaker 1: so nice and it was so nice for a period
Speaker 1: in time. And I'm not and again I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that if you're hot you can't also have a great personality.
Speaker 1: Will be funny, like there are beautiful for me, Whitney
Speaker 1: comming is beautiful, but like it's just not the thing
Speaker 1: is that the movie is all about how it's just like,
Speaker 1: it's not important. It's not trying to pander to make
Speaker 1: women feel better or feel beautiful. The point is that
Speaker 1: it's more important things in life. And I loved it
Speaker 1: and it was just so funny. And if you get funny,
Speaker 1: if you're happy and confident, um, the world is your oyster.
Speaker 1: That goes for both men and women. You don't even
Speaker 1: have to be happy, just the confidence. Confidences, you know
Speaker 1: who you are. People look at you differently when you're confident. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I associate happiness and confidence is the same thing. But yeah,
Speaker 1: oh I'm never happy but always confident. Okay, yeah that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, I mean it's just like, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just like and like her interactions with men threat like,
Speaker 1: you carry yourself differently, and you are attractive without having
Speaker 1: to be a top ten model when you come across
Speaker 1: as confident and loving yourself doesn't need to come from
Speaker 1: I think. I like, if you're not attractive and you
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and you fucking have lies and
Speaker 1: you know you're not attractive, who cares looking in the mirror?
Speaker 1: Then care? If it makes you feel bad, don't do
Speaker 1: it better. It just doesn't matter. It really doesn't guys
Speaker 1: that watch. Okay, I'm gonna write an email real quick
Speaker 1: before we get to our guests and go back to
Speaker 1: our roots. I'm interviewing a guy with one of us
Speaker 1: a spot. Yeah, this podcast is about to uh take
Speaker 1: a fun journey, guys. But okay, this email is from
Speaker 1: a gentleman and the subject line is why do women
Speaker 1: hint instead of being direct about what they want? A
Speaker 1: bunch of nice compliments and then he goes with any
Speaker 1: question asked you, ladies. I think backgrounds make a difference.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty eight year old single head of sexual heterosexual male,
Speaker 1: so my experience and question is in that context. I
Speaker 1: know my question slash subject doesn't just apply to women,
Speaker 1: but since my experience is with women, I'm hoping for
Speaker 1: an answer related to them. I am often frustrated with
Speaker 1: a woman's inability to be direct about asking for what
Speaker 1: they want. They often hint about something that they want,
Speaker 1: but even when asked directly about it, they avoid being straightforward.
Speaker 1: Here's an example. I recently had a friends with benefits
Speaker 1: text me that she had a bad day and her
Speaker 1: back was hurting her. I replied with sorry to hear that,
Speaker 1: although I knew she was fishing for a massage. Later
Speaker 1: she texted me texted that she took a relaxing bath
Speaker 1: but could barely move her head. I knew if I
Speaker 1: just said come over and I'll give you a massage,
Speaker 1: she would have, but instead I wanted her to tell
Speaker 1: me what she wanted. A few weeks later, we went
Speaker 1: out and drink and ended up in bed together. She
Speaker 1: asked me what I wanted, and I set a back
Speaker 1: massage in a blow job. Very direct. I asked her
Speaker 1: what she wanted and she replied with my next still hurts,
Speaker 1: but still didn't ask for a massage. I know I
Speaker 1: wasn't as direct when you're uh. I wasn't as direct
Speaker 1: when I was younger, and maybe it is an age thing.
Speaker 1: She's twenty six, although this has happened even with much
Speaker 1: UH with women closer to my age. Is there something
Speaker 1: about the way women are expected to act that makes
Speaker 1: them less direct. I don't want to force my expectations
Speaker 1: on anyone, but how do I start a conversation about
Speaker 1: being direct with a woman who won't be direct even
Speaker 1: when I have stated I want them to tell me
Speaker 1: what they want. As a man, nothing makes me happier
Speaker 1: than pleasing a woman and making her happy. Does that
Speaker 1: mean I just need to suck it up and play
Speaker 1: the game. And when she hints at something, try to
Speaker 1: assume she wants and hope him right? Or is it
Speaker 1: too much to ask for someone to tell you what
Speaker 1: they want. Thanks for your time and energy put into
Speaker 1: making your listeners happy and I wish you the best.
Speaker 1: And this guy, he looks like I don't do watch
Speaker 1: the show Barry. Uh No, I know what it is,
Speaker 1: but I don't look. I don't watch it. Okay, this
Speaker 1: guy looks like that one guy in the show Barren.
Speaker 1: It was funny. He's a fucking hilarious actor. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I totally understand your frustration with women not being direct.
Speaker 1: I think before I started being a co host of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked, I was definitely someone that hinted at
Speaker 1: something all the time. I would hint I would never
Speaker 1: ask for because I was scared. I was scared to
Speaker 1: ask for what I wanted with men, in particular, because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to come off as There's a couple
Speaker 1: of instances that I kind of remember being this way,
Speaker 1: but it's it's if I get down to it, it's
Speaker 1: that I don't want to come off as being like
Speaker 1: two upfront and masculine and aggressive. That's usually what it
Speaker 1: comes down to, or what it did come down to.
Speaker 1: I am no longer afraid of that anymore. And I
Speaker 1: think it's because I've read so many emails from women
Speaker 1: about them are they you know, various questions about like
Speaker 1: what should I do what? And it's like you have
Speaker 1: to answer any the whole time we talked like and
Speaker 1: it makes me angry, and I feel like maybe it's
Speaker 1: a similar frustration of what he's feeling. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what you want, get it? Like the women
Speaker 1: are so women, by you know, in general, are more
Speaker 1: unsure themselves than men. I think I don't necessarily agree
Speaker 1: with that, but I have also did. I've also had
Speaker 1: more confidence than anyone I've ever dated, except for maybe
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend. He was pretty confident. And it's drained
Speaker 1: me throughout the relationship because I can only spend so
Speaker 1: much energy building someone up who doesn't like have a
Speaker 1: deep like love in themselves and like it's really and
Speaker 1: so I and it even men who I thought like
Speaker 1: really really confident just like behind closed doors, are just not.
Speaker 1: And it's like that's the worst. That's the worst, like
Speaker 1: Jack in the box surprise I can get when I
Speaker 1: date someone. I never enter a relationship with someone who
Speaker 1: is knowingly not self confident and then when it is revealed,
Speaker 1: it like fucking kills me every time. Yeah, that sucks
Speaker 1: and like so long sometime, and it's it's very difficult
Speaker 1: to be in a in a relationship, whether that's boyfriend,
Speaker 1: girlfriend or friends with benefits with somebody who isn't confident
Speaker 1: enough to ask for what they want. So, but what
Speaker 1: I would say to you, as a straight guy who's
Speaker 1: fucking women, if I was a woman and I heard this,
Speaker 1: I don't I'm honestly wish someone would have. Stephen has
Speaker 1: told me this before my early days of dating. And
Speaker 1: but I don't think there's anything wrong with you saying
Speaker 1: even if it's a friend with benefits, Hey, when I
Speaker 1: have a sexual relationship with someone, it it's very not
Speaker 1: only is it very important to me, but it turns
Speaker 1: me on when a woman just tells me what she wants.
Speaker 1: And I can tell you what I want because that's
Speaker 1: what I want, and we can communicate and if you
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, you know we can have
Speaker 1: a conversation, but it's I cannot be in a friends
Speaker 1: with benefit relationship with somebody who doesn't. Isn't that direct
Speaker 1: to me? The only thing with this is like a
Speaker 1: massage is not necessarily a sexual request, even though men
Speaker 1: always turn it into something sexual. Sometimes women just really
Speaker 1: want to I've never been shut as for and the
Speaker 1: thing for this this is like I'm always up front
Speaker 1: with asking like what I want sexually, but as far
Speaker 1: as like something like a nice gesture like this, sometimes
Speaker 1: I purposely won't say directly what I want in hopes
Speaker 1: that someone No, no, not at all. No, I don't
Speaker 1: never That's not a problem because someone I would like
Speaker 1: someone to do something nice for me without me having
Speaker 1: to ask, because it means so much more. And there's
Speaker 1: a similar if you have ever seen the movie To
Speaker 1: break Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, that's that's
Speaker 1: like that hap comes up a lot, and I love
Speaker 1: that movie too. That comes a lot up a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's like Jennifer's character is like, I just don't
Speaker 1: want to have to ask you for everything. But the
Speaker 1: more I've interacted with men and the more relationships I've
Speaker 1: been in and actually Owen Benjamin has even mentioned this
Speaker 1: in his stand up. He has a joke about it.
Speaker 1: It's like, I think men truly lack an intuitive nous
Speaker 1: that women have um, that we kind of expect all
Speaker 1: genders to have um, and then women can Women can
Speaker 1: read hints in a way that men cannot read him.
Speaker 1: Men just really really can't. And I don't think parts
Speaker 1: us and it's probably but it probably frustrates the men
Speaker 1: that they can't read the hints clearly, like this guy
Speaker 1: for example, because it's like if your brain doesn't operate
Speaker 1: in a way that you can pick those little thing
Speaker 1: moves up. I picked those up all the time. Some
Speaker 1: most of the time. I'm reading into him too much.
Speaker 1: And there wasn't even a hint, and I thought there
Speaker 1: was one. I always think I'm saying hints, and I
Speaker 1: would be frustrated too if I'm like, oh, this person
Speaker 1: was hinting at me, but I didn't get that goddamnited.
Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, I think what it is, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, women, we want people to do things like
Speaker 1: like do nice things for us without us having to
Speaker 1: directly ask. But if you are a heterosexual, like that's
Speaker 1: just really not something that's going to often happen for men,
Speaker 1: and it's just like a communication between kind of gender norms. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what what would it? What is the harm though
Speaker 1: in asking? If they truly aren't able to pick up
Speaker 1: on hints, there's no harm in asking. It just doesn't
Speaker 1: feel as special if you have to ask for something
Speaker 1: to want. It's like if I want to it's it's
Speaker 1: like if I there's something I want for my birthday
Speaker 1: and I mentioned something in passing, like, oh, that's really
Speaker 1: cool and I get that present. That feels a lot
Speaker 1: more cool than me saying, hey, can you go and
Speaker 1: get this necklace for me from a store? Like if
Speaker 1: I asked for it, I'll just fucking buy it with myself.
Speaker 1: It's not well. And that's also an indication that that
Speaker 1: person is listening and paying attention to what you're saying
Speaker 1: and knows you. Yeah, I mean, so it's that. That's
Speaker 1: that's what I think. That's what I think it is. Okay,
Speaker 1: I hope that helps, sir. Anyway, Um, all right, today's guest.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Christina ment and we are going back to
Speaker 1: the guys. We fucked roots. Uh, this was a funk
Speaker 1: that happened a long time ago. Um, but the guest
Speaker 1: has been on before and in the interim between him
Speaker 1: being on and now we fucked and other stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: he's a stand up comedian. Uh. He lives in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles and he's one of my good friends. Please welcome
Speaker 1: John Campanelli. But it's sim more than a nip and
Speaker 1: your quick a lie needs a gardenage, a little bit
Speaker 1: of zest in me. Won't you be in my gardenage,
Speaker 1: you little raspberry? Because I'm about to buy I mean,
Speaker 1: because you're John. You can't twist to the right for
Speaker 1: the entire podcast. Hey, hey, y'all, we're here with John Campanelli.
Speaker 1: The energy in this room right now is we're not
Speaker 1: sexual tensions worse than a mass slaughter of children. Honestly,
Speaker 1: you're going to get so many hate tweets about that.
Speaker 1: Come at me, guys. Nothing can be worse than what
Speaker 1: you already say. So John was on our podcast before
Speaker 1: comedian Yell, okay, well that'd be great for us, so
Speaker 1: excited to be here. Yeah, and I had like a
Speaker 1: whole thing I wanted to say about you, guys. Well
Speaker 1: then go but now because you want to you had
Speaker 1: a prepared speech about us to do in front of us.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's awesome. I want to hear it. Well, no,
Speaker 1: but I just wanted to say that, Um, I'm very
Speaker 1: proud of you guys. So the first time I did
Speaker 1: the podcast, it was it was like it was in
Speaker 1: the beginning and you guys were doing, okay, oh wow,
Speaker 1: so kind you're gonna make our egos too big my
Speaker 1: door wait for it, you guys. It was starting a rise, right,
Speaker 1: it was the right and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: like I mean, this is taken off. You know. Now
Speaker 1: I'm back here, and you guys are like a big
Speaker 1: deal and that's crazy, you know, like yeah, because because
Speaker 1: it's so I can't believe I still text you back.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what to say. Well, you're bad,
Speaker 1: you're right, but you're back. I love you, John, I
Speaker 1: you're the only person I answered the phone for. You know,
Speaker 1: bad thing. You got your back here. John. You're back
Speaker 1: in the hot seat because you guys fucked. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you didn't fuck before. But there was tension. I remember
Speaker 1: we took a picture. I remember it was when I
Speaker 1: had the red wall. It's not the first person to
Speaker 1: come on that. Neither of you guys had had an
Speaker 1: experience with maybe because you probably annoyed us so much,
Speaker 1: but no, I mean, I mean, you know, did you
Speaker 1: just did your career just need a bump for you.
Speaker 1: We fucked a long time ago. This was, but it
Speaker 1: was before you came on the podcast. And your you
Speaker 1: guys are even better at like your voices now, like
Speaker 1: they're like even the that you're so much more confidence.
Speaker 1: This is crazy. Okay, Um, that's good. I mean I'd
Speaker 1: rather be getting more confident a weird headspace. I'm just
Speaker 1: so happy for you guys because your vision came into
Speaker 1: fruition and it's amazing to watch. Thank you and think
Speaker 1: it happened if you believe. Yeah, I felt we were
Speaker 1: to try to work to make the audience like you
Speaker 1: this time. Okay, you said you didn't want to look bad.
Speaker 1: That was the one thing you wanted at this and
Speaker 1: you're squinching your it's like you're squeeze in your eyeball
Speaker 1: areas well. What happened was I quick? And then we
Speaker 1: can get very stressed. Yeah, because I just drove here
Speaker 1: from w Chester, super pumped to come here and do
Speaker 1: this podcast. Yeah, I really excited to be come back
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I'm driving here, I'm excited. I text Keran.
Speaker 1: I said, it's going to be gold Jerry Gold, like
Speaker 1: from Sorry Feld, you know. And then I got into
Speaker 1: it's drizzling out, you know, and it's and then I'm
Speaker 1: getting trying to get into the city. It was so
Speaker 1: hard to drive and there was no car to drive,
Speaker 1: I mean New York, say, to drive in Manhattan. I
Speaker 1: just looked around and everyone because like l A is
Speaker 1: becoming really overpopulated, you know right now, Like the traffic
Speaker 1: in l A has gone from like uninhabitable to like dangerous.
Speaker 1: So now when I'm back, I'm excited to being New York.
Speaker 1: And I was just driving and I was like looking
Speaker 1: around and I was like, I told you guys this,
Speaker 1: and I'll say it. I just had this weird feeling
Speaker 1: where I was like, I feel like this country is over.
Speaker 1: I got really depressed. It's out of fashion. That's a
Speaker 1: sad thought. So I get what you would get depressed,
Speaker 1: But why did you Why did a crowded New York
Speaker 1: street everyone's like so miserable. I mean, I'm pretty I'm
Speaker 1: in a miserable place some point in my life. But
Speaker 1: I'm happy still. But but it's not like it's not
Speaker 1: like miserable where you look around it was just like
Speaker 1: it's like a it's like a selfishness has come over
Speaker 1: the country. I feel like like everyone's like kind of
Speaker 1: self People were always like that. But it's also like,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's worse than New York in l A.
Speaker 1: Because it's a place where you move if you really
Speaker 1: want to make happened. No one. No one moves to
Speaker 1: New York to get away from it all you have
Speaker 1: to like work at a drug store, right. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: it's like we all, you know, and like it's like
Speaker 1: surrounded by people that are working their asso. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: all come here to make our dreams come true, and
Speaker 1: most of them aren't going to come true. So that's
Speaker 1: why everyone's in a bad movie. And statistically your dream
Speaker 1: won't come true. Right, But you're surrounded by people who
Speaker 1: they're all trying. And then the ones whose dreams do
Speaker 1: come true their Downtown or maybe up Rests and uh
Speaker 1: or Lower or Brooklyn. You know, this is the whole
Speaker 1: thing I don't want to get into right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: well brought it up. How about we talk about how
Speaker 1: I give you a blowjob in a fat cells park
Speaker 1: that wait, did you suck at dick before she had
Speaker 1: the same Oh no, did she suck your dick? Of
Speaker 1: course after the sam of course before Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: because I don't know how I only sucked dick on stomach.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're making fun of your own penis at
Speaker 1: this point. Yeah? Wait, was I was that the night
Speaker 1: that we went all into fat cells? And then uh?
Speaker 1: No either or just you know we were doing You
Speaker 1: and I were in l a together. Uh, John came
Speaker 1: to like our show or something, and then I did, sorry,
Speaker 1: you did the show. Everyone forgot memorable set. And then
Speaker 1: and then we dropped you off at the Airbnb or
Speaker 1: you like uber there and then they're like, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: And then I said, I'm gonna go hang out with
Speaker 1: John And then now who Now was it your decision?
Speaker 1: Were you just went in for the swoop because I've
Speaker 1: the first time last time I sucked a dick in
Speaker 1: a car was like a bank in a car. Last
Speaker 1: time I suck some pricks thank in a car, I
Speaker 1: was in the ninth grade. Um, wait, what do you
Speaker 1: mean this wasn't the first time? What do you mean
Speaker 1: you don't remember in the city, right, But I thought
Speaker 1: the city was after l A, I need a time.
Speaker 1: I needed time of I sucked your dick. You sucked
Speaker 1: his dick both times in a car. There's way better. Wait, No,
Speaker 1: because we're in cars together a lot, because he's always
Speaker 1: driving in from well yeah, because there's so much traffic.
Speaker 1: Do you get time to suck the deck? You should
Speaker 1: do that for the That should be a new angle.
Speaker 1: I really hate you comedians and caring. And it's so
Speaker 1: funny because I I think you might be the only
Speaker 1: person's dick that I've ever sucked in a car. WHOA,
Speaker 1: maybe it's the only place where you don't feel intense anxiety. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're you seem anxious sometimes. He is so anxious
Speaker 1: about what the world crumbling. I mean it's gonna we're
Speaker 1: all gonna die. But that's kind of a good thing. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so crazy. So wait, did you guys? Fuck? Would
Speaker 1: you just just suck his deck? No, we've we've had sex too.
Speaker 1: I mean neither of us really remember it, but that
Speaker 1: was I don't drink a lot, and that night was
Speaker 1: you and I get when we're together, like, you're not
Speaker 1: even a big drinker, but you somehow always get ripped
Speaker 1: around because you want to suck her. But you're too
Speaker 1: scared to say something, honestly, don't you know what. I'm
Speaker 1: very confident, but I really don't think okay, which is
Speaker 1: just do I feel I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: we went out a couple of nights ago. Yes, I
Speaker 1: got hammered, did you? Oh god, yeah, I'd like barely
Speaker 1: recovered from the hangover. Was so bad to cancel my
Speaker 1: personal training session. It was bad because everyone kept buying
Speaker 1: me drinks and I kept being like, yeah, yeah, havey
Speaker 1: have you give John a couple of compliments? Will fall
Speaker 1: you around all night. So I don't want to sorry
Speaker 1: you guys, no, I mean you you obviously have something
Speaker 1: to offer. Go ahead, well, back to our roots. You
Speaker 1: know I love being back to our roots. The time
Speaker 1: it sells. It took me a very long time to come.
Speaker 1: You're telling me you kept going. You didn't go just
Speaker 1: do it yourself? How much time becamp? She's a champ?
Speaker 1: This is she good? A very uncomfortable give me some tips. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a compliment. But the way you said, uh,
Speaker 1: there's no way to say that and not look creepy. Okay,
Speaker 1: So but wait, the first time was in New York.
Speaker 1: Are you sure about this? Yeah, okay, I guess you
Speaker 1: better than me. His Okay, he has a car because
Speaker 1: he his his folks live in Westchester. And you were drunk, No, John, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we got drunk later he sucked his dick. Okay, So
Speaker 1: how how did that come about? Did you ask? New
Speaker 1: York City? Is you're never going that fast? Okay? We
Speaker 1: didn't have yeah, we didn't have very far to go,
Speaker 1: road Head. I remember, I remember like we were going
Speaker 1: through Times Square and you're driving and I'm just like
Speaker 1: leaning over fun Actually, Tom Square, that's fun, and like
Speaker 1: giving John head is like that. It makes it's like
Speaker 1: it's like you know he's had a sexual but he's
Speaker 1: still somehow looks like he's uncomfortable, like as if behind
Speaker 1: his eyes he's going I wish it was a man.
Speaker 1: I wish it was a It just brings me a
Speaker 1: dog because you have like good this is not going
Speaker 1: to sound good, but I like you're like a child
Speaker 1: like antseness about you and like it's not but boyishness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like I know you're very much an adult,
Speaker 1: and I feel like this is some kind of tactic
Speaker 1: you used, but I'm not I haven't gotten to the
Speaker 1: bottom of it. Yeah, let's get to the bottom of it. Um.
Speaker 1: So it's the reason it took me a long time
Speaker 1: in sALS was because I'm talking about you know, but
Speaker 1: I'm saying like, okay, but he is, get ahead, get
Speaker 1: to the bottom of get to the bottom of your
Speaker 1: childlike anxiety, because I know it. Do se sex with
Speaker 1: a lot of very beautiful women, but it means true,
Speaker 1: I know we're good friends, but you I don't know
Speaker 1: how you get them to do it. Well, that was
Speaker 1: so honest. I'm not even trying to answer that. We
Speaker 1: could go into how why you did what you did, right,
Speaker 1: I just explained it. Why but you wanted to suck
Speaker 1: his dick because his child like anxiety. It's like he
Speaker 1: almost it's like you almost that's gross. That's why I
Speaker 1: said this is gonna sound bad. No, it's like you
Speaker 1: almost seem uncomfortable around sex. So it's almost like I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like, like, I know it, I'm like ruining you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so there's a hot for you. It's like an amateur.
Speaker 1: It's like a casting couch porn. But only that do
Speaker 1: you like that? You're the women? I mean, I love
Speaker 1: casting couch porn? Right, but do you like that? John? Is?
Speaker 1: It's just it's just a very things. It's a quality
Speaker 1: that is uncommon in men. So I think it's fascinating
Speaker 1: because it's unique. He's like, yeah, okay, so is he
Speaker 1: likes that thing that girls do? Are like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing and I've never done this before.
Speaker 1: Y yeah, I am the guy's version if I've never
Speaker 1: said I don't usually do this. You are. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: not a bad quality. It's fascinating. There's just innocence to
Speaker 1: me that You're like, I know he's not innocent, yeah,
Speaker 1: but not show that. How does he show that quality
Speaker 1: while you're sucking is dead? Or does he not? It's
Speaker 1: like it's like because he never tries to initiate. But
Speaker 1: then this also sounds terrible, but he never pushes me off.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is it's a real me too. Um,
Speaker 1: I fell off the couch. That's really funny. Maybe I'm suck?
Speaker 1: Am I a charmer? No? John, you picked up your
Speaker 1: glass of water. Got some uncomfortable when I said that.
Speaker 1: Um do you put the moves on ladies? Ever? Like? Oh,
Speaker 1: so you remind me? You remind me of my first
Speaker 1: boyfriend a little bit. He also had that kind of
Speaker 1: like child like when you do that. Um, I just
Speaker 1: never been I've just never been aggressive, you know, I
Speaker 1: just don't. I don't know why. I just never done it.
Speaker 1: It's just never been my style. So wait when Okay,
Speaker 1: the first time he sucked his dick in a car,
Speaker 1: it was times Square right. My buddy PJ was in
Speaker 1: the back seat, not during not doing but he said
Speaker 1: to me, I gotta go because he was like, what
Speaker 1: might sound just changed on my thing? I just want
Speaker 1: to make sure nothing nothing pulled out? Pulled out? Yes,
Speaker 1: something was, Louise. I think okay, better now I think yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah okay. Um so wait, so your friend left the
Speaker 1: car because she was getting grabby in front of him?
Speaker 1: Oh is that why he left? Oh? Is that why
Speaker 1: he but he loves me, Yeah he does. I guess
Speaker 1: he just he doesn't want to watch his friend get
Speaker 1: his stick understanding Well, yeah, I guess not for everyone rude.
Speaker 1: So he leaves and then how do you do you
Speaker 1: just do it? You just unzip him with fly or
Speaker 1: do you say, can I may I suck you'll pick
Speaker 1: in the car. I've never said that. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I just I guess I just groped on
Speaker 1: and then hope he doesn't say stop. You know what,
Speaker 1: And this is a real moment. You guys are very flirty.
Speaker 1: So like honestly, we're very close friends to we have
Speaker 1: like we're we talk on the phone for like hours.
Speaker 1: I don't do that with anyone. Yeah, yeah, and really
Speaker 1: are so. But so that's that's a that's a root
Speaker 1: relationship that kind of allows for that. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get the wrong message out to guys listening. Listen,
Speaker 1: if you talk on the phone for hours with you
Speaker 1: just grab a pussy and a titty maybe want titty
Speaker 1: and she won't care. Now obviously, John, you don't care.
Speaker 1: You just got real close. I don't care about what.
Speaker 1: Like we're in a therapy session. Have I ever made
Speaker 1: you uncomfortable by grabbing your penis? Okay? Good? I just
Speaker 1: like to check in and these in these times because
Speaker 1: you're like shaking in the corner and you can't tell
Speaker 1: if you like it or you know, I don't be there.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm pretty like I'm you know, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty open. Anyone can just kind of touch my dick. No, actually,
Speaker 1: I don't have you ever refused somebody? You can? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he has? You told me a long story about that recently,
Speaker 1: Can you tell us? I don't want to say it
Speaker 1: on air because I don't want to. I mean, no
Speaker 1: one knows it's about she does. Yeah, I just don't
Speaker 1: want anyone. I feel like girls are very bad at
Speaker 1: taking rejection, very bad well, because the rate at which
Speaker 1: we get rejected is very low, conspetting. It's getting worse too,
Speaker 1: it's getting it's getting I've never gotten rejected and it's
Speaker 1: getting uh yeah, that women do not take rejection well,
Speaker 1: and it's it's getting worse. Now. You gotta stop treating
Speaker 1: us like princesses. Get a little cocky, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't treat like until like I know there's something there
Speaker 1: for real. I don't like, I'm never gonna like the
Speaker 1: first time we hang out or ever. Like, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm not going to treat like a princess right up front,
Speaker 1: because I believe in expectations. I've always done that and
Speaker 1: I don't want to give you false expectations. So some
Speaker 1: some women might think that I'm being a dick, but
Speaker 1: I'm just like, what do you want me to do.
Speaker 1: What do you want me to do? You want me
Speaker 1: to tell you that you're beautiful, that this is gonna
Speaker 1: go somewhere. It's like, I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're beautiful or not. No, I mean even if
Speaker 1: you are, though, like I'm not gonna lay it on
Speaker 1: someone gash your head up, like yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do that. You know, it's not fair because it
Speaker 1: comes down in expectations. And then then that's when they
Speaker 1: really resent you and they're like I thought it was
Speaker 1: just going somewhere, which ends up happening anyway. Oh really,
Speaker 1: So you girls say tend to say that you lead
Speaker 1: them on. I mean I wouldn't say that, but you
Speaker 1: go with it and then you get disinterested. This is
Speaker 1: what this is what I scream relationship to me. Well,
Speaker 1: I well, here's the thing. I'm I'm over being promiscuous.
Speaker 1: The truth is why, because I've just I've been there,
Speaker 1: done that, bought the T shirt, Like I really know
Speaker 1: it's out there. I haven't heard anybody use the full phrase.
Speaker 1: I feel exactly like John though I feel I mean
Speaker 1: I felt like that for a while. I just like
Speaker 1: I don't anymore. I've just like had so much. It's like,
Speaker 1: I'm not nothing's gonna surprise me. If that thing's gonna
Speaker 1: surprise me. Yeah. But if you like a person, you
Speaker 1: have a crush on them, and you think they're hot,
Speaker 1: it's fun to I like the connection. Yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it needs to be marriage, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep with someone who I don't
Speaker 1: feel connected to. That's not them, that's just masturbating with
Speaker 1: their body. I agree, And that's not that's a doll
Speaker 1: if you're gonna do that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm getting a little older, Like I'm thirty three, Like
Speaker 1: in my twenties, I could go like a million times.
Speaker 1: We're like, I know you're only you're older than me. Wow,
Speaker 1: you're only thirty three. Okay, I have nothing to say
Speaker 1: to follow up for this. Uh you great? Okay? Are you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: M hm? So I don't care. We're just roasting one
Speaker 1: another back. No, No, I'm not really saying anything, just
Speaker 1: giving a great podcast. You guys can't see how mean
Speaker 1: we're being to each other. But it's bad. We're gonna
Speaker 1: send out out some a PDF file with still photos
Speaker 1: of the looks what I want to know is after
Speaker 1: the friend left the car, what happened between that and
Speaker 1: you suck in his dick? Like? Were you what did you? Did?
Speaker 1: You just probably just when at least started like feeling
Speaker 1: his dick um over his pants. That's a common move,
Speaker 1: that's a fun one. And uh, but then I think
Speaker 1: I believe you like helped get your your dick out,
Speaker 1: because I'm not I can't unzip someone's paints. I am
Speaker 1: not going to say yesterday and there's I'll pull it
Speaker 1: out what no, no, no, but obviously like I am
Speaker 1: button but then you finish up your penis, I have
Speaker 1: to you have no idea if Karin's gonna start feeling
Speaker 1: on your dick, and obviously she's indicating she's gonna suck it,
Speaker 1: help a bit out and take it out, checking to
Speaker 1: make sure it was therein surprised. Yeah, we're talking about
Speaker 1: the isolated incident because sometimes girls just want to feel
Speaker 1: it over the pants too, and not suck on it.
Speaker 1: I guess that's fair to say. Well, I guess it
Speaker 1: was just like I was like, well, it's a long
Speaker 1: it's a long trip from time Score to Harlem, so
Speaker 1: it's multitask. But wait, but if if you touch me
Speaker 1: over my pants, I don't expect you to eat me
Speaker 1: out right away. No, I would say that's unfair. But
Speaker 1: but if it's like over the pants, is a little
Speaker 1: different for a girl that for a guy, because you're
Speaker 1: getting the person hard and then you're I mean, you're
Speaker 1: not gonna make me come over the pants, but you're
Speaker 1: gonna make me wet. You can turn me off. But
Speaker 1: it's different with because once you get a guy going,
Speaker 1: it's like it's it's just how do you think that's
Speaker 1: any different for us? If you get me going and
Speaker 1: you don't finish, blue balls is right, but blue balls
Speaker 1: is real. Yeah, blue ovary is real too. Well, you
Speaker 1: don't have to do it, but but then you got
Speaker 1: to like stop and then leave so that we can
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, okay, you're not gonna do this. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to recommendation that if a girl touches
Speaker 1: your penis and isn't gonna finish, if there's like if
Speaker 1: it's if it's like caressing, and if it's like kind
Speaker 1: of like just some like petting, I guess petting, but
Speaker 1: you know, but if it's too heavy and you start
Speaker 1: to do the stroke thing and you start to like
Speaker 1: that's when it's like, hey, either guy, do it or
Speaker 1: just start Just stop. You understand because I think I
Speaker 1: think you know that's fair for you to say though
Speaker 1: to the girl. Yeah, well you know because because you
Speaker 1: got to communicate me. I think it's more science than
Speaker 1: women realize. How I don't know. It's so condescending the
Speaker 1: way that I said it, you know, that's why I
Speaker 1: did that child voice. I a guy needs a here's
Speaker 1: the deal. If it's unhealthy for a guy to come less,
Speaker 1: we're supposed to come like once every three days. You guys,
Speaker 1: get real piss. No, it's not good for your prostate
Speaker 1: like chances of like prostate cancer if you don't. Because
Speaker 1: the semen google it right now as I'm saying it,
Speaker 1: So the semen it uh, it needs to come out
Speaker 1: because it's it's like you you women are born with
Speaker 1: all the eggs that you're gonna have, but we keep
Speaker 1: producing sperm, so it needs to come out every so
Speaker 1: often because it will just keep creating. So it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's you can look that up. So
Speaker 1: I mean, I am the eggs thing is accurate obvious.
Speaker 1: So if I don't jerk off. Sago like three or
Speaker 1: four days without it, but eggs aren't coming out. I'm
Speaker 1: going to paints exactly. I'm going to have a wet
Speaker 1: dream at some point if if I decide I'm just
Speaker 1: not going to jerk off, it's going to come out.
Speaker 1: You looked it up, Yeah, you're right, right, yeah. So
Speaker 1: so what happens is like when you get us that
Speaker 1: excitmazing how much men know about science when it comes
Speaker 1: to when it comes to them jerking, men know all
Speaker 1: those facts. It's not about a period or what a
Speaker 1: period is. Oh yeah, well because well yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: also I do care. I'll be honest, it's fine. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't care if I were you, but it's uncomfortable like
Speaker 1: sometimes because you're just like I don't really want to
Speaker 1: be horny today, and it's like in your it's good,
Speaker 1: but it's good that you are. I'd rather be horny
Speaker 1: than not horny, you know, But it's annoying when you're horny.
Speaker 1: And when it's like when it's the situation is not
Speaker 1: really calling for that, you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like yeah I have to come and it's
Speaker 1: like I really don't want I don't have time to today,
Speaker 1: and they're walking around with the dog and heat. You're
Speaker 1: just like, uh, have walked around horny in the city.
Speaker 1: But it's not because somebody touched my vagina. It's just
Speaker 1: because like I got horny. Yeah, but but but the
Speaker 1: horny nous from like not ejaculating after a couple of
Speaker 1: days is it's not horny like oh I'm just horny.
Speaker 1: It's horny like this got to get out of me.
Speaker 1: This has to get out of me quick, you know. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: luckily I'm not that bad with it. Like I know,
Speaker 1: guys they have actual problems, like like you know, there's
Speaker 1: there's stories of guys that have to like go into
Speaker 1: a bathroom at a coffee shop because they're just like
Speaker 1: I gotta like you know, there's different levels of it.
Speaker 1: You know, said, well, it doesn't sound it, but it sucks.
Speaker 1: Think about if you if you, if you, if you're walking,
Speaker 1: will happen with Starbucks real quick and jerk one out?
Speaker 1: I'd be like yeah, yeah, but then that's I'd be
Speaker 1: that's seen in five in Our Days of Summer where
Speaker 1: the guys like walking down the street with a cartoon
Speaker 1: band and a bird fly shoulder. Yeah. Well, so now
Speaker 1: what I used to do is like if I was
Speaker 1: hanging out with a girl, I would just I would
Speaker 1: just you know, jerk off before and then it would
Speaker 1: be like I wouldn't you know, Yeah, so she did
Speaker 1: tease you, It's not like yeah, but now and then
Speaker 1: could you get it up if you did that too, well,
Speaker 1: then yeah, totally. Now I'm at the point where I
Speaker 1: still could. But if I jerk off before I hang
Speaker 1: out with you, I just don't want to hang out
Speaker 1: with you. But that's where I've gotten to just called
Speaker 1: me regarding this issue. That's really funny, like like it
Speaker 1: used to be like when I was like young, like okay, recently,
Speaker 1: a girl want to come over at like it was
Speaker 1: like midnight, right yeah, and I was literally like, uh,
Speaker 1: like now I gotta wake up, Like now I gotta like,
Speaker 1: I gotta like I go I have to like unlock
Speaker 1: the door that I'm going to have to take her
Speaker 1: clothes off. Like if she was like, hey, John, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna come over and leave you door unlocked and I'll
Speaker 1: just take my clothes off, I would have been like,
Speaker 1: all right, cool, you know, But now I'm at the
Speaker 1: point where I'm like sadly, I know exactly what you mean. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's also kind of hot. Like, Hey, come over
Speaker 1: here and the door is gonna be unlocked and just
Speaker 1: start sucking me when you get here. I would love
Speaker 1: to put that in writing. I would be like, great, cool,
Speaker 1: what a fun guy? A fun guy. P agree, we're
Speaker 1: not cool. We're sexually active people and we're not assholes.
Speaker 1: I would if you. So, you've had a lot of
Speaker 1: girls like accuse you of being a creep. I'm assuming
Speaker 1: if you're no, but just the state of everything and
Speaker 1: just how like trying to have a trying to have
Speaker 1: a career. It's like, as a guy right now, you
Speaker 1: have to be super careful because you know, women have
Speaker 1: said that like their whole ever forever, women have been
Speaker 1: saying that though forever, not being careful, that someone's gonna
Speaker 1: accuse us of something and just being careful of like
Speaker 1: failure because that's probably yeah, I mean, we're just like
Speaker 1: getting harassed or I mean I get that. So, I
Speaker 1: mean both sides have it. You know, I'm not. But
Speaker 1: but it's like like I had someone who so I
Speaker 1: had this girl calm over to help me with an audition.
Speaker 1: This is fucking true ship and I had I really
Speaker 1: wasn't interested in her, and she was texting me and
Speaker 1: it was like six seven o'clock at night and she
Speaker 1: was texting me I had to put something and she
Speaker 1: was like, she's kind of new to l A. So
Speaker 1: I was like, well, hey, I gotta put you know,
Speaker 1: this audition on tape if you want to help me
Speaker 1: run lines if you're not doing anything you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: So she didn't have you had the audition? She didn't. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: is she a hot girl? I mean John shrugged his shoulders. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's she's a six. Yeah, okay, but why why? Why her?
Speaker 1: Why did you ask her? Because she was already text
Speaker 1: she was texting me. Yeah, okay, but what was she
Speaker 1: saying when she was texting you? Basically what? Yeah, She's like,
Speaker 1: I want to see your dink, I want to see
Speaker 1: you dead turn around. She wanted to She just wanted
Speaker 1: to see what I was up to. And she was
Speaker 1: like wanting to go out. And she was just like,
Speaker 1: I don't think she had met I met her through
Speaker 1: this other girl. So she was just like texting me
Speaker 1: and I was like, I mean, did you honestly think
Speaker 1: she wanted to be buddies kinda. She might have. She
Speaker 1: might have I want to be friends with people all
Speaker 1: the time and sometimes are guys. And I was n'tenough
Speaker 1: to know it could go either way. But I didn't
Speaker 1: think she was like it was still early, was like
Speaker 1: six o'clock when she was texting me. I didn't think
Speaker 1: she was like, I want to come over and book that,
Speaker 1: you know. I thought she yep. I thought she was
Speaker 1: just she was just like looking for something to do.
Speaker 1: So I was like, and with your board, yeah, come
Speaker 1: hang out. So she came over. We were running lines
Speaker 1: and everything was going well, and then she was like,
Speaker 1: you want to drink and I was like, no, because
Speaker 1: I have to put this on tape bye tomorrow at noon.
Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna run the lines tonight and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put it on the morning. I'm not gonna drink tonight.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I kind of want to drink. And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, if you want some wine or something,
Speaker 1: that's fine. So she's like, I'm sorry that there's sirens
Speaker 1: in the background pissing me off. How do you think
Speaker 1: I feel I live here? Oh my gosh. So I
Speaker 1: go up. We go to CVS. She says she's gonna
Speaker 1: get a bottle of wine. She ends up getting a
Speaker 1: bottle of Stoly. I go, all right, well this way different, yeah,
Speaker 1: and lemonade. Then she gets long story short, she's drinking
Speaker 1: by herself Stoly and I'm like, and red Bull. She
Speaker 1: got red Bull too, and I was like, hey, can
Speaker 1: you I asked her to stop drinking and she was.
Speaker 1: Then she drank half a bottle of Story by herself,
Speaker 1: and she was making she was making moves. She's making
Speaker 1: passes at me that I was what were the passes? Um?
Speaker 1: I forgot what it was. But I got close to
Speaker 1: her for something. She was telling me something and I
Speaker 1: just like looked at her and she was like, well,
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna kiss me. And I was
Speaker 1: like stuff like that wasn't yeah, and then just like uh,
Speaker 1: just she she grabbed my dink a few times. She
Speaker 1: was horny and she wanted to fuck right. But she
Speaker 1: told me when she got there, she had made this
Speaker 1: comment about how she was on her period, which is
Speaker 1: why I really thought she didn't want anything to happen.
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, cool. I was looking for
Speaker 1: someone to run lines with. So now it's been hours,
Speaker 1: got in your apartment. She announced her period, So now
Speaker 1: now she won't leave. But I'm trying to hint, like
Speaker 1: because I started going get hint with a young drunk chickum,
Speaker 1: so don't get hint. I was like, you gotta you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta leave in then I was no. I kept
Speaker 1: saying I gotta be up. I was like, I gotta
Speaker 1: be up early, gotta be up early, gotta be code
Speaker 1: forget the funk out of it it. I heard that, and
Speaker 1: I remember I heard that with a guy, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, so funnily. I go, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go watch friends in my bed and pass out.
Speaker 1: So she came in bare. Yeah, no, ship of course
Speaker 1: that's she took that as an invite. She's young and drunk,
Speaker 1: you gotta she didn't want. So she's basically so drunk
Speaker 1: that she's making moves and then taking the moves back,
Speaker 1: like making pass And I was just kind of like,
Speaker 1: all right. After after about three hours that I was exhausted,
Speaker 1: I go, I finally get up and I just go
Speaker 1: get the funk out of my apartment. No, I was
Speaker 1: nice for three hours. Yeah, but you never told her
Speaker 1: to leave? Hey, can you leave. I don't want you here.
Speaker 1: I mean I hinted it pretty heavy. I mean it,
Speaker 1: I pretty much did, I really really pretty much. And
Speaker 1: I kept I was like, you need to stop drinking, like,
Speaker 1: drink some water. She was like, don't tell me to
Speaker 1: fucking drink water. All this stuff, so it was getting bad.
Speaker 1: I actually yeah, I mean I long story short, make
Speaker 1: this yeah, yeah, I was just gonna say that. I
Speaker 1: was like, on your on your side for this one,
Speaker 1: because drunk young drunk women are really like I actually
Speaker 1: have a whole was writing like a piece on them,
Speaker 1: and so I go, I go, I go, get the
Speaker 1: funk out. And then she goes, we're supposed to I
Speaker 1: met you for a reason. Why are you doing this? Okay?
Speaker 1: She kept bringing up things like like I don't know.
Speaker 1: She was saying weird things about the night too, about
Speaker 1: like our connection that wasn't there, so she was lonely
Speaker 1: in horning. So then she was like, so I go,
Speaker 1: why are you acting like this now? But she wasn't.
Speaker 1: That wasn't her voice before she was. And then she's like,
Speaker 1: why are you acting like this? And I was like, look,
Speaker 1: you have to go. I have I have an audition
Speaker 1: in the morning, this is work. Then she starts going,
Speaker 1: you're not even a good actor. I was like, so,
Speaker 1: then she goes, then she said this. Then she turns
Speaker 1: around and says this to me, and this is what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, and this is what what now? Like,
Speaker 1: I have to be scared if she turned out to
Speaker 1: me and goes, you just want me to leave because
Speaker 1: I want to sex with you. And I pulled out
Speaker 1: my phone and I have sift try to have fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes of recording on my phone of me going, you
Speaker 1: have to leave, please leave, and she and she's going
Speaker 1: just so typical, and I go, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: listening to spin a narrative. Whatever you gotta do, you
Speaker 1: do it, it's fine. I was recording her. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call the cops if you don't leave. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, she really was giving you no choice and
Speaker 1: she just wouldn't leave. She was she was like, I
Speaker 1: was like scared. I was like, ship, I understand, I
Speaker 1: do understand. Normally I would say you're why I would
Speaker 1: doubt you, but drunk chicks are scary. Yeah, I love
Speaker 1: not to be on their side. Fifteen minutes of recording it, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she finally left. I mean, yeah, she called
Speaker 1: it uber, right. She's like, I don't expect you to
Speaker 1: call an uber and be a gentleman for me. I'll
Speaker 1: call my own uber. And I was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on that anyway, but yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't want to. You don't want to. You want
Speaker 1: to make sure that she's a safe die. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't even want it from my my uber account. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what she's doing that. I don't know
Speaker 1: what this girl's capable. You don't want vomiting on you.
Speaker 1: I want her outside of my apartment and I want
Speaker 1: my doors locked. Yeah. Wow. Well, I mean the thing
Speaker 1: I've been trying to do lately is like when I
Speaker 1: hear stories that guys tell is I flip it. I think, well, like,
Speaker 1: how scary would that be if that was a man,
Speaker 1: And obviously the physical size is still a disparity, there's
Speaker 1: still just a disparity there, but like, yeah, that would
Speaker 1: be terrifying if a guy did young drunk women have
Speaker 1: this to to Nay City, to them, that is very scary.
Speaker 1: It's like a determination. Yeah, and they that's what's the scary.
Speaker 1: I don't think she wanted any I think she wanted
Speaker 1: to reject me. That's what I really think. I think
Speaker 1: maybe maybe she wanted to be in control because maybe
Speaker 1: she just got out of a a relationship that she was
Speaker 1: dumped and she felt out of control. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It sucks either way, but yeah, so that's the kind
Speaker 1: of stuff I mean. But also, like, no adult woman
Speaker 1: wants to come over and help you make it tape. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were just going to run lines a few times.
Speaker 1: It wasn't wasn't interested, and she wasn't she wanted. And
Speaker 1: then this is unless this is like a friend that
Speaker 1: you have been friends with, Like I could really do that,
Speaker 1: but like, not a random girl who just moved to
Speaker 1: l A doesn't want to just help you run lines.
Speaker 1: Everyone's in l A annoying. She was doing this weird
Speaker 1: thing where she was like trying to memorize She's just
Speaker 1: supposed to throw the line pasta lines away. She was
Speaker 1: reading it. Yeah, she was trying to act it out
Speaker 1: with me, and I was like, you can you just
Speaker 1: read them and she was like much, I've already like
Speaker 1: had these memorized, and I was like someone caught the bug. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was so bad. You just burst another extra extra
Speaker 1: So wait, when did you guys fuck? Okay, thanks, that's good.
Speaker 1: We need to get back to that. We funked on
Speaker 1: the same night of the Time Square blowjob. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: did you came and did he come in your mouth
Speaker 1: in Times Square? No? I don't. Okay to completion, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm guessing. I mean we were. Yeah, it was. It
Speaker 1: was a rough night. Yeah, and then we went back
Speaker 1: to her apartment, the real dirty one. It looks like
Speaker 1: the mouse one. Yeah, but John, I can't even believe,
Speaker 1: like if John was like John is so like fucking
Speaker 1: weird that like I couldn't even have gotten him in
Speaker 1: there if he wasn't drunk. That was not That apartment
Speaker 1: was not great. Yeah, I'm not. She's not trying to
Speaker 1: fight you on that. No, no, no, I lived there.
Speaker 1: Her apartment now is spectacular. It's like beautiful. I mean
Speaker 1: it's like you'll never be allowed. Yea. Her apartment was
Speaker 1: just a kitchen if I remember correctly, I mean there
Speaker 1: was a kitchen. No, My bedroom was actually a really
Speaker 1: great size. I just it's just like when you put
Speaker 1: all your possessions into one room, it feels a little crowded. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a good will store. When I
Speaker 1: walked there, well, you know, busy girl, enough time to
Speaker 1: unpack things in a box. Well, my my theory was
Speaker 1: like I just didn't want to live there, so I
Speaker 1: just didn't unpack. And I was like, well, we'll be
Speaker 1: ready to go when I need to. Yeah, for the
Speaker 1: house you want, you know. So do you remember anything
Speaker 1: about the sex of her home? Okay, what do you recall?
Speaker 1: M I was good? What a John campineally answer? You
Speaker 1: were good? It was good? You said, you said I
Speaker 1: was good. It was good recording this, I swear to
Speaker 1: God said with Christ. And then I slept. That's a
Speaker 1: real for you slip there. But it was good. Um,
Speaker 1: And I remember I think what I got there. It
Speaker 1: dawned on me how drunk I was, you know, and
Speaker 1: you worked. Yeah, I don't have problems with that. It
Speaker 1: just takes me a long time if i'm if I'm drunk,
Speaker 1: it doesn't or after what we gonna tell. But um,
Speaker 1: then then I remember I left, and I for some
Speaker 1: reason thought I think I thought I was doing you
Speaker 1: like I left your door unlocked or like open or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know why about I don't remember there was
Speaker 1: a reason for it. Um, Yeah, I think I don't
Speaker 1: know if it was that. If it was, how do
Speaker 1: you think about the sex, gran do you remember it?
Speaker 1: I really don't remember. I gotta be remember that. I
Speaker 1: remember that we had it. I remember, like I remember
Speaker 1: like walking into my room and like getting on the
Speaker 1: bed with you and that we're going to have sex,
Speaker 1: But I don't remember the remember you walking out of
Speaker 1: out of your bathroom into the kitchen, into your room naked,
Speaker 1: and I remember being like, yeah, I was like all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, show up the goods. You're home. I mean like,
Speaker 1: I mean like it was great, but I meant like
Speaker 1: all right, Like I didn't think she was just gonna
Speaker 1: do that, you know, like she thought she's gonna put
Speaker 1: on a robe or no, no, no. But like I'm
Speaker 1: right to the point, I'm pretty sure you came out.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you went into your bathroom with clothes
Speaker 1: just naked. It was like a great move. I've done
Speaker 1: that move. You don't do that move? You never, No
Speaker 1: one else doesn't move. Well, I'm like we're here to fuck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, let's get to it. That's more of a
Speaker 1: women moved because like women's bodies are better. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true than that. And I mean if that was
Speaker 1: my heavy drinking period, man, I would have been real
Speaker 1: flinn so real dehydrated. Um, no bloating, no bloating. I mean,
Speaker 1: did you put the leave the lights on? Or is
Speaker 1: there a candle or no? Not a candle in that place.
Speaker 1: I'd be a firehouser. Yes, that's an immediate didn't even
Speaker 1: a collection and even light a birthday candle that year? Um? No,
Speaker 1: Hanka Hanka was canceled until You're a better building would
Speaker 1: blow up. I think it was a terrorist attack. How
Speaker 1: fast it went up in flames everywhere, it's probably flammable.
Speaker 1: We've only sucked once and then the sALS parking lot. BJ.
Speaker 1: Was that before or after the Times Square? BJ that
Speaker 1: this is a better story than the Times Square one.
Speaker 1: This Yeah, and I also remember this one because we
Speaker 1: were neither of us were drunk at all, So this
Speaker 1: was This was in Los Angeles. Yeah, we had a
Speaker 1: show coast and then I don't I guess, so I
Speaker 1: was whenever I'm single, I just have like agendas where
Speaker 1: I just like goals where yeah we're yeah, like goal
Speaker 1: of the night, suck a deck, Yeah, because I don't
Speaker 1: know if like you knew we were going to hook off,
Speaker 1: but like I knew we were going to hook off?
Speaker 1: Did you know? Um, I don't think so. You're sitting
Speaker 1: at the edge of your seat. He's just like, whatever happens,
Speaker 1: I'm alone. Boy, Who's who's Jason? Funny comedian Jason Collings. Okay,
Speaker 1: well give him a plug. Did you tell him to
Speaker 1: call it a certain time to give it a free plug? No?
Speaker 1: But I got him very very funny comedian Jason. All right,
Speaker 1: do you have to take a ship? No? I'm good. Okay,
Speaker 1: look like you're trying to hold it. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you can do that. I don't because I'm getting creative.
Speaker 1: So I'm getting like I'm thinking now, okay, thanks coming
Speaker 1: in thirty seven minutes in brand knew that she was
Speaker 1: gonna suck yock or we're gonna do something like dick snucking?
Speaker 1: Is I think? Actually, you know what this is? Out
Speaker 1: of all those dicks I've sucked in my lifetime, this
Speaker 1: is my favorite. I'm going to say Dick's story story. No,
Speaker 1: your dick is good, but it was not my favorite.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean it was it was like it
Speaker 1: was like, it's my favorite instance of sucking a dick
Speaker 1: for sure, that's pretty good because you don't like do it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like I was. It was fun. I was
Speaker 1: in there to do it. You gotta sleeping bag or not. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've never seen a either. I've never sucked. I never
Speaker 1: us but yeah a guy I've never sucked or sucked
Speaker 1: an uncircumcised penis not. I mean it's not like I was,
Speaker 1: you know, telling people no, but I just never never
Speaker 1: canst one of my travels um and uh so I
Speaker 1: wanted to get a sandwich from Fat Sous. Of course
Speaker 1: it started with the goal was like me getting a sandwich, um,
Speaker 1: and then I don't know, really, when you when you
Speaker 1: vision something, you go when you get it. I mean
Speaker 1: that's after the show. But the thing is we actually
Speaker 1: we were across the street from Fat Cells and you
Speaker 1: ended up moving the car and parking in like an
Speaker 1: empty laun dramat across the street. You do that on
Speaker 1: purpose because like I think I started sucking your dick
Speaker 1: in Fat Steles and then you got uncomfortable retant in
Speaker 1: the parking lot, and I think you got pieces of
Speaker 1: bread on other side, but you got uncomfortable because there
Speaker 1: was too many people around because it was like drunk
Speaker 1: sandwich hour, and so you pulled, you moved the car,
Speaker 1: and this is what's like giving someone with anxiety a blowjob.
Speaker 1: You moved the car, and I was like, are you
Speaker 1: sucking as dick while I moved the car? Um I
Speaker 1: might have stopped for that. But then it's like, also,
Speaker 1: like what's more noticeable than like a singular car in
Speaker 1: an empty parking lot. I mean, but it was sund
Speaker 1: it was surround. Did there wasn't you know? It was fine?
Speaker 1: How long did it take? It was? We went from
Speaker 1: but then and I just remember you reined the seats. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is what happened. He has a lot of anxiety too,
Speaker 1: so it's like when you're having when you have anxieties,
Speaker 1: I mean, is this not true? Because you were so frustrated,
Speaker 1: You were so worried about someone seeing and I was like,
Speaker 1: who cares, it's l A know, this is what this
Speaker 1: is what it was. I take a long time after
Speaker 1: because I performed on your show. You guys like sold
Speaker 1: out main room. Yeah, and then and it was a
Speaker 1: great show. And that's why it took you along after
Speaker 1: a big show or something, because I have you know,
Speaker 1: I've got like all the adrenaline going that, like I
Speaker 1: need to like unwind. I was still so tense from
Speaker 1: like the show and like just the whole night. I
Speaker 1: never it takes me a very long time after a show.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever seen you relaxed in
Speaker 1: my entire life. Yeah, when do you relax when you're sleep? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. You've go to the gym where you just
Speaker 1: shake out of nervousness like a chihuahua. I mean, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're in shape, but from all the shaking, you don't
Speaker 1: need no shake weight. Life is your shake a weight?
Speaker 1: That's when I worked out. Yeah, And so he reclined
Speaker 1: in the back of the seat and then, um, we
Speaker 1: finished the blow job. I finished, Yeah she did. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't know. We and then you put the seat up.
Speaker 1: And then I said, give me a sandwich. And he
Speaker 1: pulled back into the fat house lot and I stay
Speaker 1: in the car and he went and got me a
Speaker 1: sandwich and paid for it. And it was it's nice.
Speaker 1: So she sucked your dick. It was a memorable knight
Speaker 1: from a sandwich. It was like it was really romantic.
Speaker 1: I was so happy with that night. That was great,
Speaker 1: and you didn't want him to do anything to you.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if that was this guy. I
Speaker 1: truly just felt like second your dick and eating a
Speaker 1: sandwich and I didn't want getting fingered in a car
Speaker 1: and getting past six what it's not a good My
Speaker 1: vagina is to uh, the whole is like to I
Speaker 1: have to read, got un button your pants? I know,
Speaker 1: I gotta really like arch up my vagina otherwise. And
Speaker 1: like the way that finger in my hole, you know
Speaker 1: I ain't that a Hallmark card. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: a crooked finger in my hole. Yeah it sounds like
Speaker 1: a good Yeah. No no, because like normally like I
Speaker 1: do demand something afterwards, but I I didn't. You don't
Speaker 1: want one. I just wanted a sandwich. It was a
Speaker 1: good night for me too. You guys put me in
Speaker 1: front of a sold up show, gave five minute blow job,
Speaker 1: and then we had sandwiches. She gave I was really
Speaker 1: nice asleep, that was really nice of me, and five minutes.
Speaker 1: I honestly would never do that. I suck at. It
Speaker 1: did take a while. Were you at any point about
Speaker 1: to give up? I don't really remember giving feel like
Speaker 1: this goes back to women not wanting to get rejected.
Speaker 1: I feel like at that point, you're like you're finishing.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I've definitely given up on blow jobs. I
Speaker 1: just like I was in the mindset that I wanted
Speaker 1: to give you because most times, like I don't want
Speaker 1: to give a blow job, but I was in it.
Speaker 1: I was in it. What about John made you want
Speaker 1: to suck his dick? It's just it's this anxiety. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you just set You just seem very innocent. I am, No,
Speaker 1: you're not, Oh you're not. But no, the innocence is
Speaker 1: a juxtaposition to who you really are. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you're Troba Dick, but like in a fun way, in
Speaker 1: a fun way. Yeah, I mean I like you now.
Speaker 1: But it took a while. It did not take a while.
Speaker 1: Did take a while. It was like it was like
Speaker 1: liquorice or like, I guess if I keep trying to
Speaker 1: eat this, I still don't like licorice. It makes me vomit.
Speaker 1: M how many times have you got an your dick
Speaker 1: sucked in a car? Did you just he's blown away
Speaker 1: by all the time? A lot? Like how much is
Speaker 1: a lot? Because this is my theory that this is
Speaker 1: some kind of a fucking move that, Yeah, that you
Speaker 1: out manipulated me. No, I don't know what I do.
Speaker 1: I don't know they to this. Yeah, I guess my
Speaker 1: dick is just hanging out. You don't keep doing that.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel cool. Body language change. So you
Speaker 1: are single? What's it like to be single? And how
Speaker 1: do you feel about it? I don't like it right now?
Speaker 1: You don't like it or you not like I don't
Speaker 1: like it. You just came out of a two year relationship.
Speaker 1: And so I'm just at a point where, like I said,
Speaker 1: I just don't Okay, this is gonna sound I just
Speaker 1: I don't like dating. I don't enjoy it. It's not
Speaker 1: fun for me. It's not fun for me, you know.
Speaker 1: I just want to Like, I don't want expectations. I
Speaker 1: just want to go out. You see what happens? Um,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a date? No, no, no, But like
Speaker 1: I'm not even saying like I want to go out
Speaker 1: one on one, Like it's like walking on the street
Speaker 1: when you're talking about dinner. I much pressure out to dinner.
Speaker 1: No me either. I don't like going out to drinks,
Speaker 1: like going out to dinner with my best friend. I
Speaker 1: think it's weird, like you know, just the way that
Speaker 1: that we're headed right now. I just like I don't
Speaker 1: know why I have to we where are we heading
Speaker 1: these big things? Why do I have to? I don't
Speaker 1: understand why I have to pay on a first date,
Speaker 1: Like I just you don't have to, no one's asking
Speaker 1: you to. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. I think I will
Speaker 1: say it is a little bit different than you know,
Speaker 1: New York though. I think l A is a little
Speaker 1: a little bit more and I women love to act
Speaker 1: like you guys don't have to pay. I do not.
Speaker 1: I think it's a little condescending when the guy pays.
Speaker 1: I think you should split it. I think it's the
Speaker 1: kind of women you date, though, John, because I mean
Speaker 1: it's like you do have a specific type. But also
Speaker 1: to the guy could just be trying to be nice
Speaker 1: and the girl could try to be nice too. That's
Speaker 1: another reason. Well that Yeah, I mean I feel like
Speaker 1: I feel like women now were always saying like, no,
Speaker 1: you guys don't have to pay, But like, but then
Speaker 1: when I'm on the date, it's a different story. I've
Speaker 1: paid on it, and it is a little bit of
Speaker 1: a power move paying if you're the one who pays,
Speaker 1: you kind of feel a little bit of I don't, well,
Speaker 1: the rule is whoever asked who out is supposed to pay.
Speaker 1: I mean that's like the kind of like I guess,
Speaker 1: I don't know. What I like to do is like
Speaker 1: I hate splitting a bill. I just think it's like
Speaker 1: so corny and a lot of funking. I would rather
Speaker 1: pay than split the bill. I don't need to be
Speaker 1: fucking having cards onto, Like that's so stupid. But it's
Speaker 1: like usually unless the data is going terribly, I've actually,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, never been on a date that
Speaker 1: was going so terribly that I had to like make
Speaker 1: an early exit. But you, uh, one person pays for
Speaker 1: dinner and then we go out and have after dinner
Speaker 1: drinks and the other person pays for that. That's what
Speaker 1: I always do. You know, you know what I think?
Speaker 1: You know what I think. It is why I don't
Speaker 1: like dating, why I like now What I look for
Speaker 1: and intimacy is like a level of trust. I like trust.
Speaker 1: You think everyone is out to get you, that's why
Speaker 1: you do you kind of do sorry, you're like getting
Speaker 1: You're both ganging up on you think there's like a
Speaker 1: conspiracy against you, and I know you've told me a
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety that. I mean, that's what you're always
Speaker 1: smoking weed. But you're not like your PoID all the time. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I want to hang out with someone and
Speaker 1: I find like it turns me on when there's trust involved,
Speaker 1: you know, like I want to feel comfortable being yourself
Speaker 1: around that that and I want to know, like, for instance,
Speaker 1: like I see no point in wearing a condom. Well
Speaker 1: I do know, I see a point in that obviously,
Speaker 1: would it protects from from getting pregnant, but it does
Speaker 1: not exactly, but it doesn't feel good at all? How
Speaker 1: Like literally for me, wearing a condom when I was
Speaker 1: in my twenties late twenties, yeah, I would. I would
Speaker 1: just do it. I'd be like whatever, fucking having sex,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's still like all right, dud, I'm
Speaker 1: still but now I'm like, whoa, that's how that's why
Speaker 1: you don't like condoms. That a lot of rugburns. But
Speaker 1: now it's like, but it didn't really feel good. Now
Speaker 1: it's like it's just I'm just over it. Like to
Speaker 1: be honest with you, it gets to the point where
Speaker 1: condoms of the dating the condoms oh, now we're talking
Speaker 1: about the condoms. I'll give you skin condoms. I know.
Speaker 1: But the point I'm making I actually know exactly what
Speaker 1: you want. But I go, I do no, no, no,
Speaker 1: because I do the same thing. That's like, that's a
Speaker 1: big reason why I only have sex with friends. I
Speaker 1: also don't like condoms. And I know what you mean,
Speaker 1: Like there's just a level of you know that the
Speaker 1: person is open with you and has been open about
Speaker 1: if they're unbirth control, they have s T I s
Speaker 1: all that I understand exactly what you mean. You can
Speaker 1: also have I mean, you can have that conversation with
Speaker 1: the date. I think, though two it seems like they'll
Speaker 1: be honest. Please, I mean, they fucking better be. I've
Speaker 1: had that conversation before. I think you're giving people too
Speaker 1: much credit. I mean I've I've seen results, test results.
Speaker 1: I want to see them. Well, I mean that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't trust someone just on the word that I
Speaker 1: just met. Yeah, I'm saying it's just like it's not
Speaker 1: it's not fun, Like being promiscuous isn't fun. There's so
Speaker 1: many different ways that it could go wrong that like,
Speaker 1: I just I just don't I'm just over it. I
Speaker 1: want to connection. That's not why I'm not worried. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just worried about it because, yeah, it's very hard
Speaker 1: to develop a connection with someone you met three hours ago. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you can, but you can. There are situations
Speaker 1: where you meet someone and you're like, I'm really vibing
Speaker 1: with you. I'd like to say, I'm I'm relatively intuitive,
Speaker 1: you know, so i'd like to say that, like I
Speaker 1: can get an idea, you know, when I meet you
Speaker 1: and I think first, you know, your first impression is
Speaker 1: usually pretty on, but like the first impression is like
Speaker 1: literally like like there's a book on it. It's a
Speaker 1: theory of enslicing. And your first impression isn't after the
Speaker 1: first conversation you have with someone. That's what people think
Speaker 1: it is. They think like, oh, but after that first
Speaker 1: conversation they could have swayed you. Your first impression. You
Speaker 1: have to remember what when you saw that person and
Speaker 1: looked at them, what you're feeling was, and so you
Speaker 1: have to go back like sometimes like I dated a
Speaker 1: girl a couple of years ago, not my last my
Speaker 1: last X. That was that was a good relationship overall,
Speaker 1: it was what it was, but but but before that
Speaker 1: dated a girl and she swayed me. But when I
Speaker 1: remember what I first thought of her, wretched. That was
Speaker 1: my gut was like, this is a wretched woman. And
Speaker 1: then so how did she she's I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: want to she's still she still gives me issues, so
Speaker 1: I don't want to go into it. But so she
Speaker 1: kind of lured you in manipulation. Yeah, he sucks because
Speaker 1: it's you know, especially if you do have anxiety, like
Speaker 1: it's almost easier to get manipulated. I mean that's persuading. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you look like you're having a stroke. You look like
Speaker 1: you need help. Well, he also looked like half like
Speaker 1: an elderly person when they don't have teeth. When you
Speaker 1: smile like that, you are so peculiar, John, that's good.
Speaker 1: I'm original. You really are a strange strange man. Has
Speaker 1: your confidence gone up or down since the interview started?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm um, I don't care. Are you happy?
Speaker 1: I'm all right? Okay, So now everything's fine. Everything is
Speaker 1: like it is what you know, it's fine. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like a weird time to be an entertainment. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is, that's for sure. It's uh, you know, so
Speaker 1: there's a lot of obstacles and it's it's oversaturated. So
Speaker 1: it's just like yeah, I mean I'm working, but I
Speaker 1: mean like, yeah, I feel like it could be better.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, very big. How often do you masturbate?
Speaker 1: Not a lot? How often? This is a scene in
Speaker 1: the Meryl Street movie that how do you? Masurbit just
Speaker 1: answered the damn question. I don't know. A couple of
Speaker 1: times a week, once a day sometimes, I don't know. Varies,
Speaker 1: you do, Okay, now I get the little boy thing
Speaker 1: you're talking about. Correct, it varies. I don't know. With
Speaker 1: my mom, Wait, when when did you start being sexually active? What?
Speaker 1: Age six? No? He started fucking the family dog. If
Speaker 1: you don't you know, Christina, I will tell you what.
Speaker 1: You better be careful or else I'm going to put
Speaker 1: the moves on you without put don't worry. I'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you'll nervous. No, I'll be fine. I'm
Speaker 1: just nervous being here. You make me your your energy
Speaker 1: is so nervous. Yeah, how does that make you like?
Speaker 1: A punk? Said? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well she said, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's what I gotta get a couple of drinks in him?
Speaker 1: It really is. Like I think it's a gender reversal
Speaker 1: that I like with John. Yeah that makes sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you get more yeah a little. I understand. Now, I
Speaker 1: understand you guys. Are you think you're putting me down,
Speaker 1: but you're making me look kind of brilliant. No, we're
Speaker 1: not trying to put me. Whatever it is, you're very weird.
Speaker 1: You're very weird too, Yeah I know, but like unlike
Speaker 1: a contrived weird. Like I went to hot topic too
Speaker 1: many times, like I am actually very normal, and it
Speaker 1: bothered me. So I was like, I'm just gonna do
Speaker 1: everything I can to not be fucking normal because I
Speaker 1: hate normal. But you actually just came out of the
Speaker 1: womb all jacked though, and that's why his middle name
Speaker 1: is Jack. Yeah, like I I worked to be different. Um,
Speaker 1: you don't have to put much. Yeah, it comes pretty
Speaker 1: going to stand out. Okay, that's what they say to understanding.
Speaker 1: You better watch it or else I'm taking you down next. No,
Speaker 1: you're not that sounded. That's not a good way to say. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I know what your nerves are on women sip
Speaker 1: like that. Um yeah, I can't wait till I'm back
Speaker 1: on here a third time. Don't worry about See, this
Speaker 1: is the thing. Now, I'm just like, did you You're
Speaker 1: just you? Was this just like a thing in the
Speaker 1: making where you just tried to fuck me and then
Speaker 1: waited years seed? See See I'm not calculated like that.
Speaker 1: There's no way. No, I'm not that calculated. All right, Um,
Speaker 1: so what does it take for you to have sex
Speaker 1: with somebody at this point in your life? Right now?
Speaker 1: You're single, you were in a long term relationship. Have
Speaker 1: you sucked anybody since you've broken up with with your
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about that. Yes, but um okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, well, you told me you're only into non Americans.
Speaker 1: Now let's WHOA. I don't blame I don't like American women.
Speaker 1: Why because yeah, but I feel like you got a
Speaker 1: little bit of rhyme reseeing you in that you go
Speaker 1: after like the shittiest ones. And you can't say that
Speaker 1: American chicks suck if you're only dating the ones that
Speaker 1: are like drooling. All right, here's no no, let me
Speaker 1: first say this. Let me first say this. Ultimately, I
Speaker 1: have nothing but good experience. Ultimately, percentage wise, I have
Speaker 1: good experiences with am with women in my life. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you why you People might say that you have
Speaker 1: crazy girl stories this and that. I do, but I've
Speaker 1: I've had such an extensive dating life that like you're
Speaker 1: playing the odds. It's like one one out of every
Speaker 1: four people are a sociopath. So it's not really the statistics. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's very high. A lot of people, but has it's
Speaker 1: hard to tell right away. Yeah, and now they're not
Speaker 1: all bad, but one out of every four people or sociopaths.
Speaker 1: So statistically speaking, how many sociopaths have I actually slept with? God,
Speaker 1: that's why you're so goddamn anxious. You think about that
Speaker 1: kind of ship and how many bipolar? How many like,
Speaker 1: how how many borderline personalities I have? Yeah? Of course,
Speaker 1: point being is I have actually slept with crazy people
Speaker 1: because I played the odds. But the majority of the
Speaker 1: women also entertainment business. I think it a little higher. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: but but but the majority of women have been amazing.
Speaker 1: So you you figure, like, how many is it, John,
Speaker 1: how many women did you sleep with that we're really
Speaker 1: fucking off the rock or bad? A handful? Okay, I
Speaker 1: still don't know how many that is, but okay, there's
Speaker 1: like five that i'd be like they're fucking certifiably insane.
Speaker 1: You think that you are mentally staying. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: was going to say, what do you think yourself? I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, I am. I'm not like you have very
Speaker 1: very aggressive, But anxiety is a mental disorder. I don't like.
Speaker 1: I don't like the language you're using. Now now you're
Speaker 1: flipping it to but somebody I was joking ing Christian, No, no,
Speaker 1: stop nagging John. Uh. He just hates aggressive. He hates
Speaker 1: the word aggressive because he thinks everyone's coming to take
Speaker 1: him down. You're getting also anxiety. I could categorize all
Speaker 1: the guys I fucked and say, oh, some certifiably whatever.
Speaker 1: An Anxiety could be one of those things. I've never
Speaker 1: seen you smile like that. You really feel like you
Speaker 1: got a victory. Oh my god, how can you say
Speaker 1: other people are insane when you're doing that. I'm so
Speaker 1: confused because I don't know what you're getting. You're getting upset.
Speaker 1: I know you well enough, you're a little I don't
Speaker 1: think she's upset, and you don't know me that well.
Speaker 1: Now I don't know you well. I mean not looking
Speaker 1: at my face a lot. I know we're better. Only
Speaker 1: she's upset. You're saying she's not. She's not. If she was,
Speaker 1: she would tell you. Why are you looking at a vagina?
Speaker 1: This is very uncomfortable. You wanna look go? So what
Speaker 1: I was what I was saying is statistically speaking the
Speaker 1: bar like women have been awesome. Okay, what point are
Speaker 1: you getting to? Yeah? Forgive what the question? Well, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that, like not not a lot of women
Speaker 1: are crazy. It's just like like when if you're sleeping
Speaker 1: on people, you're gonna you're gonna run into a crazy
Speaker 1: person saying I agree. Why are you not sleeping with
Speaker 1: American women? Um? Just because of I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just I just like to keep saying no, I just
Speaker 1: like the phone keep running away from me when you
Speaker 1: chase them? What is it? Why are you looking at
Speaker 1: me like you might? Man? I just got flowers too,
Speaker 1: I got good you can lay them across our bodies.
Speaker 1: Damn it. I can't wait to be on this for
Speaker 1: a third time. What do you want you won't? What
Speaker 1: do you want to promote? Um? I want to promote trust.
Speaker 1: I literally knew he was going to do that. I
Speaker 1: knew you were going to do that. Why do you
Speaker 1: keep um and I wanted to talk more. Well, where
Speaker 1: do you wasted it? Lay up? There? Um? What do
Speaker 1: I want to promote? I don't know. Just fucking stand up,
Speaker 1: that's it. I've got two albums out from my live shows.
Speaker 1: Um nervous that makes sense. Yeah, because I'm in touch
Speaker 1: with who I am? Okay, a new phone? Who dis
Speaker 1: who is this? Who is this? All right? And who
Speaker 1: is this? Yeah? Right, it's a little long. I think
Speaker 1: I'll do that too. It's funny though, it's a good album.
Speaker 1: And what's your website? What's your website? Oh god, the
Speaker 1: John Campanelli dot com. Well I the other one has taken. Actually,
Speaker 1: can I tell you this? So this, this pisses me off?
Speaker 1: Tell him John? Uh So there's this so and I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to put him on blast, but fun this guy.
Speaker 1: So there's a guy. There's got there's a guy who's
Speaker 1: got all the John Campanelli Instagram twitters like he's got
Speaker 1: all the social media. Name is not John Campanelli, so
Speaker 1: it is social media. He's like he's like an older guy.
Speaker 1: He's like a editor of like a newspaper, not that
Speaker 1: much like fifty editor of a newspaper. Right, So this
Speaker 1: motherfucker gets arrested for indecent exposure. So now if you
Speaker 1: google my name, well you can see the picture you
Speaker 1: read it. So so now this guy who's exposed himself
Speaker 1: has all the John Campanelli's. So he emails me because
Speaker 1: he finds my comedy email on my website and he goes,
Speaker 1: so cay Man, you know, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: googleds like two years ago. He's basically, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to do some good faith because I've going through
Speaker 1: some stuff. So if you want all the John Campanelli's,
Speaker 1: you can have them. And then I was like, that
Speaker 1: was kind of nice of him. Then I realized why,
Speaker 1: and then I realized, well, I'm just gonna get your
Speaker 1: hate tweets. Yeah, I don't want to get your know what.
Speaker 1: The worst part is he's verified and I'm not Why
Speaker 1: is he Riface? I don't know verified, Dick shower a. Alright,
Speaker 1: so John Campanelli one on social media, John Campanelli one, okay,
Speaker 1: and uh two albums out and just come see me live,
Speaker 1: like that's just you know a lot, right. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: in LA in New York and then I'm trying to
Speaker 1: tour this is coming out on Friday. So if you
Speaker 1: have any shows in New York City, Oh, it's coming
Speaker 1: out on Friday. No, come see me. Uh well you're
Speaker 1: on Nachos on Friday. Yeah. Yeah, but you'll be promoting
Speaker 1: me on that. Well. I didn't mean it like that.
Speaker 1: Didn't mean it like tonight. Tonight, you know what? Guys. Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sorry, Karen, don't touch Okay, that's why I
Speaker 1: wanted to wrap things up. I'm really sorry. Um, but
Speaker 1: I mean I'm at the comedy Store in Hollywood the
Speaker 1: following Friday, and then the Hollywood Improv on Sunday. Awesome Sunday. Well,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming, coming in her mouth and then coming
Speaker 1: on the show. If anyone wants to uh nervously touched
Speaker 1: John's dick, he's open to it as a permission. First,
Speaker 1: I need to trust you. Yeah, you're this has been
Speaker 1: Take me on a date, buy me dinner. You don't
Speaker 1: earned my trust. What if you're gonna take me and
Speaker 1: in return you can get a two hour phone call
Speaker 1: about how someone's taken over your comedy show. Show must
Speaker 1: go on. Thank you, guys, right, guys, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: This has been. Guys, we fuck the Anti slid Jaming Podcast.
Speaker 1: I guess we'll talk to you next week. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: When it comes to brass shopping, it's all about finding
Speaker 1: the right fit for you, and there's only one lingerie
Speaker 1: brand that offers braass sizes double A through G, and
Speaker 1: that brand is Third Love. Find your perfect fitting broad
Speaker 1: today by going to third Love spelled out dot com
Speaker 1: slash g w F and get off your first purchase.
Speaker 1: That's third love dot com slash g WF. Third Love
Speaker 1: dot com slash g w