Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm Kar're sorry about last night anti slut shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hey fuckers, how you doing. Welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I am Karin Elizabeth Fisher. I'm Christina Marie Hutchinson. Welcome,
Speaker 1: uh so week two of our new cool events site.
Speaker 1: We should have we should title this, but I don't
Speaker 1: have a title for events. It's sexy. I see what
Speaker 1: you did, um and so I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys watched the White House Correspondence dinner, A lot of
Speaker 1: people were talking about Michelle Wolfe's remarks caused quite a stir,
Speaker 1: as comedy does these days. Yeah, well, I just I mean,
Speaker 1: I just love these this this. I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how much happened. This is obviously this happening on a big,
Speaker 1: large scale level. Hiring a comedian then going oh, is
Speaker 1: that comedy? I don't think I like that. People don't
Speaker 1: scared of her words and opinions. Yeah, people don't know
Speaker 1: what comedy is. I don't know if you're used to
Speaker 1: having court jesters or clowns that common juggle things. But
Speaker 1: like that's what comedy is. Comedy makes you feel feeling
Speaker 1: Sometimes it fucking triggers you. Uh. And it's like if
Speaker 1: a corrupt administration is inviting a comedian who is young,
Speaker 1: who is female to speak about issues and to roast you,
Speaker 1: and you think that's gonna go well, as Michelle Wolf stated,
Speaker 1: do some fucking research. It's true. I truly feel like
Speaker 1: they just like thought like it's a bunch of rich
Speaker 1: people who called in the court jester to perform some
Speaker 1: little show dance, Like she's gonna bring fucking puppets in
Speaker 1: and be easy on people like Hassan Minage. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna name me. Uh. To me, it's the perfect example
Speaker 1: of what comedy should do and can do and it
Speaker 1: is capable of doing. Is exactly Michelle Wolf's each at
Speaker 1: the White House Correspondence Center. I think that is the
Speaker 1: perfect example. I thought she fucking crushed it and she
Speaker 1: did not go easy, and it made me. There's parts
Speaker 1: that made me uncomfortable, and I fucking loved it. It
Speaker 1: was so funny because actually none of it made me
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable at all, Like the texts and the tweets
Speaker 1: that I was getting before I watched, because I watched
Speaker 1: it a day later. I think I was out working, um,
Speaker 1: when the actual dinner was happening. Um. And then of
Speaker 1: course I love to go on Twitter and see what
Speaker 1: everyone's thinking about a bunch of fucking idiots. Well, obviously,
Speaker 1: Rosanne just constantly talks out of her ass. I mean
Speaker 1: just constantly. It's Trump saved child people from being trafficked
Speaker 1: and sex well, and it's like I have nothing, you know.
Speaker 1: I I am certainly not one of those people who,
Speaker 1: you know, thinks that a family who supports Trump should
Speaker 1: not be portrayed in media. I definitely don't think that.
Speaker 1: I was actually having a conversation last night with someone
Speaker 1: about how I do see the same kind of viewpoints,
Speaker 1: even though a lot of times they are my own
Speaker 1: reflected in the TV shows and movies that I watched,
Speaker 1: and I am sick of that, and I can't imagine
Speaker 1: having a different opinion and ever seeing that reflected in art. Um.
Speaker 1: It's right that Roseanne is a show that's on TV
Speaker 1: right now that talks about the political aspect from from
Speaker 1: not a traditional comedian's point of view. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: We need we need art from everybody, and that includes
Speaker 1: people with different opinions from our own, and to sensor
Speaker 1: that or say that shouldn't be on the air, I
Speaker 1: completely disagree with that. However, you know, we're Zanne's tweeting
Speaker 1: out of her ask that once you you cannot make
Speaker 1: jokes about people more famous than you. That's literally one
Speaker 1: of the stupidest things I've ever heard, especially from a comedian.
Speaker 1: Every good comedian knows that, you know, most most good
Speaker 1: jokes are punching up jokes, and so it's like, you
Speaker 1: should pretty much consistently be making fun of people who
Speaker 1: are more famous or more powerful than you. And it's
Speaker 1: not about like it's like it's like she was doing
Speaker 1: as my as my mom observed, she was doing jokes
Speaker 1: for the audience that was watching at home. She wasn't
Speaker 1: trying to appease these suits who again called in the
Speaker 1: fucking clown, not at all. In fact, I think she
Speaker 1: like went against that entirely, and that's why I was
Speaker 1: so excited about it. And the amount of and then
Speaker 1: I think this is the proper use of the word bravery,
Speaker 1: the amount of bravery that it took to go into
Speaker 1: that room of people richer than you, more powerful than you,
Speaker 1: who like, if they wanted to, could like pretty much
Speaker 1: ruin her life. Uh, and say those jokes directly to
Speaker 1: people's faces. The balls that that too. Yeah, the one
Speaker 1: time I got uncomfortable because I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: Sarah Huckaby Sanders is like right there. Um, but it
Speaker 1: was still great. Yeah. I I just thought, and and
Speaker 1: anyone who thinks, like, what's like, women have to be
Speaker 1: nice to women? No, I think that's I think that's
Speaker 1: the the issue with feminism is that it's no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: we're not. We we can't just you don't want to
Speaker 1: be nice to women who are being fucking jackasses and
Speaker 1: who are a part of corruption and who are you know,
Speaker 1: allowing this ship to happen. Yeah, Sarah. And as it
Speaker 1: was pointed out time time, Trump didn't show up and
Speaker 1: Sarah was basically there as she was supposed to be
Speaker 1: representing holding a seat for Donald Trump. So it's like,
Speaker 1: if you go and hold a seat for Donald Trump,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to take a lot of ship, and
Speaker 1: you should say to that. Well, she did, and I
Speaker 1: kind of admire it for it. I mean, hey, someone's
Speaker 1: got to do it. And I wouldn't want to do it. Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean I would just quit. I would have quit
Speaker 1: a long time ago. I just can't. And it's you know,
Speaker 1: and but it's also there's discussions of how she started
Speaker 1: wearing more makeup because Trump himself sucking me. I apparently
Speaker 1: made fun of her looks, and so that's shitty. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, making fun of looks is a cheap shot.
Speaker 1: But Michelle Wolf didn't do that. If you listen to
Speaker 1: the structure of the jokes, Uh, yeah, she's talking about
Speaker 1: a smoke yie, but she said the smoke y I
Speaker 1: was created by burned up lies like that, the ashes
Speaker 1: of the truth that Sarah could be Sanders burned. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like that's the joke, and it's and it's
Speaker 1: so frustrating being a comedian because the same thing that
Speaker 1: happened at the White House Correspondence Center is exactly what
Speaker 1: happens to comedians on stages on a daily basis. People
Speaker 1: are go to comedy shows instead of you know, ten
Speaker 1: twenty years ago, people go to comedy shows looking to
Speaker 1: laugh and forget their lives. Today, people I truly believe,
Speaker 1: go to comedy shows looking to get mad and looking
Speaker 1: to make us think about something so that their avoid,
Speaker 1: their voice and their opinion can be heard, and can
Speaker 1: they can feel important for one second in time? And
Speaker 1: you are not and everyone is not important. And if
Speaker 1: you want to fucking make a message so bad, write
Speaker 1: a book or become a goddamn commeding yourself, because it's
Speaker 1: not easy. Welcome to hell. Today's show is sponsored by
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Speaker 1: live please Hey, tonight, tonight and tomorrow. We're doing two shows. Tonight,
Speaker 1: two shows tomorrow in Kansas City. You gotta come. You
Speaker 1: got to say Missouri. Yeah, that's true. Um, hey, Alfred,
Speaker 1: he's excited for us. May fourth and fifth. We're gonna
Speaker 1: be at the Kansas City improv So come out and
Speaker 1: tell everybody you've ever met, because we just booked this
Speaker 1: gig because Indianapolis we couldn't do. We're gonna reschedule that.
Speaker 1: So guys, if you're tweeting us about Indianapolis, that's being
Speaker 1: rescheduled with that was a problem with the venue and
Speaker 1: we will get back to you on that. But in
Speaker 1: the meantime, Cincinnati, Ohio. Hello, on Sunday May six, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be at the Funny Bone in East Province. Oh
Speaker 1: that that's a different thing. We're gonna be at the
Speaker 1: Funny Bone in Cincinnati, Ohio. So please come spread the
Speaker 1: word if you're in the Cincinnati area, even like a
Speaker 1: retweet uh an Instagram post. Again, all these dates were
Speaker 1: booked so solely and we and we know we have
Speaker 1: fans in that area and so often we go to
Speaker 1: place and then we come back from that place and
Speaker 1: people go when you come into Cincinnati, and we go like,
Speaker 1: oh boy, we were just there. So that's not good. Um.
Speaker 1: And then East Providence, Rhode Island. We're gonna be at
Speaker 1: the Comedy Connection uh May tent through twelve. I have
Speaker 1: heard nothing but good thing is about this room. I
Speaker 1: know someone on Twitter wanted me to roast Rhode Island. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm from New Jersey, so I'm not going to roast
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. I don't really know besides your funny accents
Speaker 1: and grinders what I can say about Rhode Island. It's an, honestly,
Speaker 1: a very lovely place and I've been there multiple times.
Speaker 1: Sorry to let you down, Yeah, I know, thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm available for the Correspondence Centner next year, everybody. If
Speaker 1: anyone's interested, um for four more dates, you guys can
Speaker 1: go to Sorry about last Night Comedy dot com that
Speaker 1: has all the information that we have when we have it.
Speaker 1: If it's not there, we don't also know yet. Um.
Speaker 1: Additionally to Less Lonely Girls, it's my ironic adult podcast
Speaker 1: about Justin Bieber and celebrity in general, co hosted by
Speaker 1: myself and rosebud Baker, who you've heard here on Guys,
Speaker 1: We Fucked. We Are five episodes deep. Patty Millette aka
Speaker 1: Justin's Bieber's Mom is already no joke. D m NG
Speaker 1: and Friends with rosebud Baker. You guys got to catch that.
Speaker 1: It's on iTunes. It's on Spotify. Uh subscribe, review, rate it,
Speaker 1: and please subscribe, rate and review the guys we fuck podcast.
Speaker 1: Pease even if you don't listen, even if you listen
Speaker 1: to on Spotify, can you rate and review us on iTunes?
Speaker 1: Because sometimes we go get down to the chart. It
Speaker 1: makes me shed a tear. Yeah, we need we need
Speaker 1: to be high because women needs to take over the
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Speaker 1: g w F. Alright, guys, you want to read some emails?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, sure, okay, I want to read that one.
Speaker 1: I'll read this email. Um the subject line again if
Speaker 1: you want to email us, it's sorry about last night's
Speaker 1: show at gmail dot com. You guys are really crushing
Speaker 1: it with these subject lines getting our attention. The subject
Speaker 1: line of this email is blacked out right in that
Speaker 1: dick while holding a dagger. Question Mark explaination, mark, question
Speaker 1: mark explaination mark. Okay, Hi, my name is I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say it. I'm a huge fan of the show.
Speaker 1: I've been listening for a couple of months and it's
Speaker 1: honestly is awakened a sexually EXPLOREDTI bad bitch. I just
Speaker 1: came out of an almost three year long relationship. We
Speaker 1: dated throughout college and we're long distance. It was super serious.
Speaker 1: He even moved to my city to be with me
Speaker 1: after graduation. I thought at that point we were it
Speaker 1: captain in quotes, and I was so happy with things.
Speaker 1: After he settled in, he became distant and I realized
Speaker 1: he was actually selfish and honestly immature. He was indecisive
Speaker 1: about his job, friends, and us. I've always been someone
Speaker 1: that knows what they want and goes for it, so
Speaker 1: I was extremely It was extremely draining to have this
Speaker 1: back and forth type of relationship. I had this idea
Speaker 1: that once he got here everything would be easier, but
Speaker 1: it was so much fucking harder. In long distance. You
Speaker 1: only show your boyfriend or girlfriend what you want them
Speaker 1: to see, and so dealing with everyday stuff when you
Speaker 1: are finally there is the true test. Amen. He obviously failed.
Speaker 1: Our breakup devastated me. I tried to beg him to stay,
Speaker 1: and in the end we kept dating, but I lost myself.
Speaker 1: I tried everything to make him happy, and he was
Speaker 1: the priority. He was always the priority, never myself. After
Speaker 1: listening to you guys talk about your past relationships and
Speaker 1: your guests. It made me realize, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: the point? I shouldn't make myself responsible for anyone's happy
Speaker 1: this but my own. I finally ended things once and
Speaker 1: for all. And then one day, about a month later,
Speaker 1: woke um, woke up and texted my roommate, I'm ready
Speaker 1: to fux someone. So that night I got my sexy,
Speaker 1: asked hoe outfit on, took multiple tequila shots, and did
Speaker 1: just that. I met this guy six ft five, smoking hot,
Speaker 1: and he started flirting, showing interest in me, and I
Speaker 1: was this whole other person that was confident and free.
Speaker 1: I told him to come back with me, and we
Speaker 1: had such hot, fucking rough sex. While I was riding
Speaker 1: to him, he asked me, ship, did you lock the door?
Speaker 1: And I responded, don't worry, I have this. Oh, don't worry,
Speaker 1: I have this. Then proceed to reach down under my
Speaker 1: mattress and slowly unsheathed my dagger. In parentheses, she writes
Speaker 1: family heirloom. Oh my god. We are now seeing each
Speaker 1: other very casually, and I owe a lot of my
Speaker 1: new found sexual confidence to what you ladies have talked
Speaker 1: about and introduced. And guys, we fucked. I'm sure that
Speaker 1: so many of us women know it to you, guys,
Speaker 1: because you opened a whole new world for us with
Speaker 1: sex and how natural it is. Love you guys, Thanks
Speaker 1: for reading. I wanted to read that email because we
Speaker 1: have this We do this thing on our social media
Speaker 1: every Sunday. We hashtag it subject line Sunday and we
Speaker 1: just show just the subject lines and the time stamps
Speaker 1: from the craziest emails weekt and um, everyone wanted us
Speaker 1: to read that email, and uh, I wanted to also
Speaker 1: read that email. And uh, it's very fitting for what
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about in the episode today. So she
Speaker 1: didn't ask for advice. She just seems like she's doing great.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a bold ass move, getting a dagger
Speaker 1: out from under your mattress, right, yeah, noboly, Uh yeah
Speaker 1: no no, but and it's and safety first. Hope you
Speaker 1: have a very thick mattress, yeah, because I could jab.
Speaker 1: It always makes me nervous when people are like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I sleep with a gun under my pillow, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: is that a safe? Like shoot yours outline? Honestly, though,
Speaker 1: after handling a gun, the safety is pretty like you
Speaker 1: have to know it's not it doesn't if the safety
Speaker 1: is on. Like you're you're pretty good. But I still like,
Speaker 1: wouldn't sleep by the gun under my pillow if anyone
Speaker 1: was wondering. I know, I know, it's a big question
Speaker 1: that's often asked to us. Sarn fish, you're willing to
Speaker 1: sleep with a gun under a pillow? The answer is no,
Speaker 1: What apprud? What apprud? Ladies and gentlemen. Alright, well, I
Speaker 1: think we've wasted enough time before getting to what we
Speaker 1: need to talk about. Uh So, ladies and gentlemen, Christina
Speaker 1: Hushingson and myself have both broken up with our boyfriends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about that for the next hour,
Speaker 1: so buckle up. Yeah. I hope someone dropped their coffee.
Speaker 1: But I hope you didn't hurt yourself in your car. Oh,
Speaker 1: I hope you're okay. Um. Yeah, I I broke up
Speaker 1: with Stephen Um two weeks ago, and by far the
Speaker 1: toughest thing I've ever done in my whole life, and
Speaker 1: uh the saddest I've ever been ever in my life,
Speaker 1: other than like when I found out my mom and dementia.
Speaker 1: That was the most devastating thing. And I know, Karin,
Speaker 1: you had a lot of great you have such great
Speaker 1: breakup material from when you and Frank broke up about
Speaker 1: oh thank you, about how it's I mean, I kept
Speaker 1: I keep thinking about your jokes about how like it's
Speaker 1: the loss seems a lot of times like worse than death,
Speaker 1: and because that person still exists but you're relationship doesn't.
Speaker 1: And uh, a lot of layers and factors that went
Speaker 1: into this decision for me. Um, I'm someone who I
Speaker 1: am a people pleaser, and I think it has to
Speaker 1: do with I think who I am naturally, but also
Speaker 1: my upbringing. I think you know, when I was little
Speaker 1: and my mom would um would do things or yell
Speaker 1: at me for things that I wasn't I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think I did anything. And then I grew up,
Speaker 1: but like grew up, meaning like when I'm five, six seven,
Speaker 1: realizing oh, I didn't do anything, and I would get
Speaker 1: I would have this anger start to harbor in me.
Speaker 1: And my dad, who's this rock of a man. He
Speaker 1: would say to me when I was little, you know,
Speaker 1: because my mom was on all these medications and I
Speaker 1: didn't know that at the time that really fucked with
Speaker 1: her mood. And uh, he would say if you're I
Speaker 1: know you're angry at your mom and she's not in
Speaker 1: a great place right now. So to tell it to me,
Speaker 1: yell at me, get it all out, and I would.
Speaker 1: I would um, I would scream at her to him,
Speaker 1: and I would call her terrible things words that honestly,
Speaker 1: five six year will probably shouldn't know. And he was
Speaker 1: really it was very helpful to have somewhere to channel it.
Speaker 1: But it's like, that's how I learned to behave and
Speaker 1: that's why I'm so bad at standing up for myself
Speaker 1: to people. And I think it turned me into a
Speaker 1: people pleaser. And you know, the relationship I've had I
Speaker 1: have had with Steven is you know, when I am
Speaker 1: someone's main source of happiness, I will go two very
Speaker 1: great lengths to make sure that I don't fail you.
Speaker 1: And even if you don't ask for that, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: I just that's that's something that I really need to
Speaker 1: work on with myself, because I keep thinking about when
Speaker 1: I when I started dating him, I was twenty three. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's funny for me because I've literally been
Speaker 1: here the whole time I've watched I've never worried Steven.
Speaker 1: I've never watched it as especially a significant relationship. I've
Speaker 1: never watched an entire relationship of this length of for
Speaker 1: someone that I'm this close to, except for Paul and
Speaker 1: her husband to a certain extent. But I see you
Speaker 1: more than I see Paula. So um and you know
Speaker 1: we had that. You and I had this conversation a
Speaker 1: while back that really broke my heart a little bit
Speaker 1: but made me realize things. Um, there's so many specifically
Speaker 1: women that we know, whether it's personally or as acquaintances,
Speaker 1: or that we hear from um through the emails or
Speaker 1: talked to after our shows that um, they kind of
Speaker 1: they don't put their happiness first, and they don't take
Speaker 1: these leaps of faiths to to really prioritize themselves first,
Speaker 1: and that it breaks my heart to see somebody do that. Um. Well,
Speaker 1: in that same conversation too, we also kind of sat
Speaker 1: and thought about all the women we know, and we
Speaker 1: couldn't think of, even in the healthiest relationships we could
Speaker 1: think of, We couldn't think of one relationship where the
Speaker 1: woman in this is heterosexual people getting the woman was
Speaker 1: getting more out of it than the guy. We couldn't think.
Speaker 1: We could not think of one one, not one. And uh,
Speaker 1: I've been rewatching the the Beyonce documentary Life is but
Speaker 1: a dream you can get on YouTube. It's not age.
Speaker 1: We don't anymore. I've seen that. Yes, it's a it's
Speaker 1: a I mean, I watched it all the fun time.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched in a while, and I watched it
Speaker 1: again and she I fucking I mean, Beyonce is my Jesus.
Speaker 1: But she she was saying, um during one of the pieces,
Speaker 1: one of the interviews where she's like, I love my husband,
Speaker 1: I love my career, but the conversations that I have
Speaker 1: with my female friends are the most. It's like a
Speaker 1: religious experience having these amazing women as as my friends
Speaker 1: and who I can talk to and I could we
Speaker 1: can share our hopes and our dreams and support each
Speaker 1: other and give each other encouragement or or critique when
Speaker 1: it's needed. And and it's really been. Um. I went
Speaker 1: around and I talked to you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: my close friends because I I the idea. I talked
Speaker 1: about this a while back when Stephen and I were
Speaker 1: possibly thinking of ending things, and it was mostly me
Speaker 1: and and I remember saying like the thought of not
Speaker 1: being with him makes me want to die, and I'm
Speaker 1: so scared of that feeling. But I have to. There's
Speaker 1: so many things that I need to learn. I need
Speaker 1: to grow up a little bit in certain areas, and
Speaker 1: the only way I could do that is to be
Speaker 1: alone and have to figure it out for myself. I think, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not a person that puts a lot of boundaries
Speaker 1: on my life or limitations. I do what makes me happy. Um.
Speaker 1: I'm always aware of how other people are going to
Speaker 1: react or think, So if I think it's gonna upset somebody,
Speaker 1: I probably won't to do it. But other than that,
Speaker 1: like I don't you know, I make life easy for myself.
Speaker 1: I guess in a way, will you live by like
Speaker 1: I would say, you like you like live by? Treat yourself?
Speaker 1: And it's it's very funny to watch because myself a lot,
Speaker 1: I am literally like the oct I will like punish myself.
Speaker 1: There are things that I don't even need punishment. And
Speaker 1: so it's said extremes. Yeah, it's very extreme, and uh,
Speaker 1: I mean breaking up with him, Oh god, it was.
Speaker 1: It was fucking terrible and he of course was so
Speaker 1: upset and uh and we finally last night we had
Speaker 1: the most amazing conversation about you know, he's doing better,
Speaker 1: and uh, as best as can be, but like living
Speaker 1: with like hurting him and taking away his joy makes
Speaker 1: me it just goes against the grain of everything of
Speaker 1: who I am. And I realized that I I do
Speaker 1: that so much. I prioritize other people feelings and I
Speaker 1: need to. I need to be on my own for
Speaker 1: a little and I just I need it. I have to.
Speaker 1: And but Stephen and I it's the one thing that
Speaker 1: really surprised me was because, like I said, it happened
Speaker 1: two weeks ago, and we've been he's been going home
Speaker 1: on the weekends when I'm not on tour, and we
Speaker 1: are living in the same household, but he's going home
Speaker 1: you mean two Pensylvania, Pennsylvania, and his parents and and
Speaker 1: you know, we have we were very lucky to have
Speaker 1: an apartment that's we kind of looked out with this
Speaker 1: gigantic apartment and um, so there's a loft area that
Speaker 1: he's sleeping in and then I'm sleeping downstairs. But you know,
Speaker 1: we had this really wonderful conversation last night about how,
Speaker 1: you know, I always try to encourage him to figure
Speaker 1: out what his not purposes, because I really truly believe
Speaker 1: that not every ad is should be put on this
Speaker 1: earth to do like the most amazing life changing thing. Ever.
Speaker 1: That's not because I feel like when people put that
Speaker 1: on themselves, it's never gonna happen. It's just like, well,
Speaker 1: foll follow what you love, follow your heart, follow what
Speaker 1: excites you. And that's what I had been kind of
Speaker 1: trying to encourage him to do for such a long time.
Speaker 1: And he's so fucking talented. He's a talented filmmaker. And
Speaker 1: but one of the first thing we ever bonded on
Speaker 1: with sexuality. The first time we ever um talked, I
Speaker 1: was on the set of the music video, but we
Speaker 1: drove up and and he we had this amazing conversation
Speaker 1: because he was dating Story at the time, and we
Speaker 1: just he like opened my eyes to sexuality and talked
Speaker 1: about it to me in a way that I'd never
Speaker 1: I didn't even know a straight guy could have that
Speaker 1: type of conversation, and I was. I was mesmerized by him.
Speaker 1: And I mean, and then when we first when we
Speaker 1: first started dating, he introduced me like I remember, like
Speaker 1: our first or second date, we went to baby Land
Speaker 1: and he's like bought me a vibrator and like, and
Speaker 1: we just like and so it's one odd thing that
Speaker 1: I feel like one of the things he would complain
Speaker 1: to me about when we were together was like, uh,
Speaker 1: I need to go to yoga. I need to go
Speaker 1: to yoga. This is like a small example of a
Speaker 1: fight we would have it. I'd be like, go to yoga. Then,
Speaker 1: don't complain. Go to yoga. You could figure it out,
Speaker 1: like I want this for you. I want you to
Speaker 1: be And it's like when we broke up, he's been
Speaker 1: like going to yoga every day, and he's been writing
Speaker 1: a lot, and he's figuring out what he wants to
Speaker 1: do with his life. And I'm like, that's one I've
Speaker 1: been trying to get out of here for I were
Speaker 1: encouraging you to do. But you're like you were in
Speaker 1: a lot of ways to him. But also I always
Speaker 1: want to go back and like you just said that
Speaker 1: you don't want to be responsible for taking away someone's joy,
Speaker 1: Like you know you did not take away his joy
Speaker 1: right now, but you have to get that out of
Speaker 1: your head because it's really like hurtful to yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, And this girl, I remember this girl a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, she wrote us an email that
Speaker 1: and it's it's just human it's human nature to remember
Speaker 1: the negative things people say and then like kind of
Speaker 1: bypass the positive or that's my favorite pastime. But what
Speaker 1: she was critiquing, she's critiquing all the passages that I
Speaker 1: wrote specifically in the book, and she's said. One of
Speaker 1: the things that she said, and I'm paraphrasing here, but
Speaker 1: uh was like, you gave Stephen all the credit for
Speaker 1: who you are. And I fucking was so mad at her,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to write her back and go, fuck you,
Speaker 1: why did you? Because it was she was right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well I read that email too, and I kind of like,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not my place to say, but it's
Speaker 1: I know, you can say. I was looking at it
Speaker 1: and I was just like she number one, she was
Speaker 1: like very she's very young, and yeah, and she even
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't a country email at all. I just
Speaker 1: didn't want to hear it. Well, it also came across
Speaker 1: as like she was she's very you know, she's like
Speaker 1: twenty four years old. And she even pointed out that
Speaker 1: some of it was just her being angry because she
Speaker 1: hadn't found someone that you connected with on the level
Speaker 1: that you connected with with on with Stephen, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people have that and you know, but it's
Speaker 1: also like as your friend watching you like so often,
Speaker 1: like when we were talking, you know, we're about we
Speaker 1: you know, we have a thousand meetings and I know
Speaker 1: you have great ideas. I've been working with you long
Speaker 1: before you knew Stephen. You would like give an idea,
Speaker 1: or you would um or you would present Steven's idea
Speaker 1: before your own idea, like in a thing. And it's like,
Speaker 1: Stephen does have great ideas, but also like I don't
Speaker 1: really I don't really care what Stephen thinks. I care
Speaker 1: what you think. And it's like, and I know you
Speaker 1: have You're full of great ideas and you're super creative,
Speaker 1: and you were doing that long before we even knew
Speaker 1: Stephen was a person on the planet. Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And like he it's so hard to I still am
Speaker 1: so terrified that I made the wrong choice, but I know,
Speaker 1: I know in my gut after talking to all the
Speaker 1: people I'm close with, if you're talking to you and
Speaker 1: talking to my mom and just really you know, I
Speaker 1: need to figure out who I am and outside of
Speaker 1: the relationship, and I never knew. I kind of had
Speaker 1: an idea of who I was when I was twenty three,
Speaker 1: but not really. And but he it's it's hard to
Speaker 1: end something when you still are madly in love with
Speaker 1: the person and you still respect them and care about them.
Speaker 1: And up until when I did it, I would still
Speaker 1: like be so excited to come home to him and
Speaker 1: just smell his skin. I miss that so much. And
Speaker 1: it's it's really, it's really difficult. But like that thing
Speaker 1: that surprised me was both of us kind of got
Speaker 1: our shipped together in a very quick way because something
Speaker 1: very dramatic and traumatizing happened to this breakup. But like
Speaker 1: he's fucking killing it. Like he's like going to all
Speaker 1: these things and and and really sourcing out, like what
Speaker 1: do I want out of life? And what am I
Speaker 1: passionate about? And he's come up with all. He's so
Speaker 1: intelligent when it comes to talking about sexuality, and he's
Speaker 1: he's always been in tune with something that I never
Speaker 1: ever thought a straight man could be in tune too,
Speaker 1: to be honest, and and uh, and just you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's it's it's really exciting because I
Speaker 1: want the best for him, but I'm so scared. But
Speaker 1: the scaring is good because I think part of the
Speaker 1: thing is like even if you're the most independent person,
Speaker 1: and I know you'll go out by yourself, you're not
Speaker 1: afraid to like go to a bar by yourself, which
Speaker 1: most people honestly won't fucking do. Just go out by yourself.
Speaker 1: But like there is a codependency that that occurs in
Speaker 1: a relationship, even in a long term relationship, whether you're
Speaker 1: living together or not. And I've never lived with someone,
Speaker 1: and I can only imagine like the level, and I
Speaker 1: mean there is like a scientific thing where like you
Speaker 1: will actually become like addicted to someone's like smell, like
Speaker 1: physically after I think it's like it's like not too long.
Speaker 1: It's like when here too, he wants to go to
Speaker 1: p A. I was just sniffing his deodorant, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, I mean I'll even do that for people
Speaker 1: I don't even like that much, you know, because it's
Speaker 1: it's just so difficult. But I truly believe. And I
Speaker 1: am not someone who like you know, romanticizes, well sometimes
Speaker 1: I actually think I do. Um, that's probably the part
Speaker 1: of the issue. Um, but uh, you know, if you
Speaker 1: guys are meant to be together, you know, it's that's
Speaker 1: it's that stupid hacks saying of like if you love something,
Speaker 1: let it go and if it comes back to you.
Speaker 1: But I really really believe that. And yeah, part of
Speaker 1: the conversation that we both had last night was that,
Speaker 1: and that made me feel so much better. Um, as
Speaker 1: long as you're not attaching on to that hope of
Speaker 1: someone definitely coming back. But because because I told them,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to say that in
Speaker 1: a way to like dangle something in front of you.
Speaker 1: That's cruel. I I never want to do that too.
Speaker 1: That's so cruel. I mean, you could fall in love
Speaker 1: with someone and be like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: my person and and either of us could do that.
Speaker 1: That's totally And even if you do, and even if
Speaker 1: you do, I think, you know, even if you do
Speaker 1: end up when they're getting back together, like there's still
Speaker 1: you'll date people in between. Yeah. I just one of
Speaker 1: the things that scares me. And I remember that one episode.
Speaker 1: We get emails about it all the time. I'm about
Speaker 1: it's called What's Happening to My Ass? That episode and
Speaker 1: it was the episode that you ran into Frank and
Speaker 1: I and I when I realized that this was one
Speaker 1: of the things I'm so scared of. It was it's
Speaker 1: exactly what you would experience where I don't want to
Speaker 1: I don't want to run into him on the street
Speaker 1: and have him be less familiar to me and then
Speaker 1: be unfamiliar with him and what's going on in his life.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I would we talked, I mean, we
Speaker 1: lived together, and you would say this all the time,
Speaker 1: like we talked to each other all the time about everything,
Speaker 1: and I loved it. And I know he coddled me
Speaker 1: when I would have an anxiety attack, which I liked.
Speaker 1: But he had mentioned it last night and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're right, You're right, I need to He's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you need me to help you get up in the morning.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, you're you're you're you're grown up. You
Speaker 1: should be able to and you're get up in the
Speaker 1: morning by yourself. And I'm like, you're right. I felt
Speaker 1: like I had this safety net with you and and
Speaker 1: I and I need to develop that on my own.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm just so scared of of losing touch
Speaker 1: with him and I just I'm so sad, and uh,
Speaker 1: you can be friends though, because I mean, I hope.
Speaker 1: So it's like this is your your kind of your
Speaker 1: first huge relationship, and I you know a lot of
Speaker 1: times like so taught me like almost like every kind
Speaker 1: of like big, big happening in your relationship reminds me
Speaker 1: so much of the first boyfriend who will never come
Speaker 1: on the podcast. His name is Tim. I dated him
Speaker 1: for five years in that he's a lot older than me,
Speaker 1: was very in tune with his sexuality. We were best friends,
Speaker 1: um before anything, and like we ended up being really
Speaker 1: close friends for many years after that. The only thing
Speaker 1: is like at a certain point I had to cut
Speaker 1: ties with him because are we were still so deeply
Speaker 1: connected that it ended up basically putting a wall up
Speaker 1: where I was not able to start a new relationship
Speaker 1: and immerse myself in it. Um. But I mean, like
Speaker 1: you can still be friends, you just I think you
Speaker 1: just have to give it a break in between and then.
Speaker 1: But it's like that doesn't mean you don't have to
Speaker 1: lose the person from your life. I've never been so
Speaker 1: close with any human being in my whole life before.
Speaker 1: And uh, and you know, I mean we would talk
Speaker 1: about when we were together, like if we had crushes
Speaker 1: on somebody, and like I didn't. I loved that about us.
Speaker 1: I loved because it didn't made me lose any excitement
Speaker 1: for him or our relationship, and it made me happy.
Speaker 1: And but there's I don't know, there's just certain things
Speaker 1: that I need to figure out on my own. And
Speaker 1: one of them has stopped trying to be everyone's source
Speaker 1: of happiness because a lot of times they're not asking
Speaker 1: for it, and even when they are, that's not fair
Speaker 1: of them to add, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: another human being cannot be a source of happiness for something.
Speaker 1: Happiness comes from within. It's a very long process, and
Speaker 1: you know, some of us will never get there. That's
Speaker 1: more about me. It's fine, but like I come to
Speaker 1: terms with it. I fucking like even looking back at
Speaker 1: what I wrote in the book about like I'm I
Speaker 1: think Stephen has and I've talked to him about this,
Speaker 1: Like certain tendencies he has are narcissistic tendencies. And and
Speaker 1: one of the things that I read about all the
Speaker 1: articles that I've been researching and being sent is like
Speaker 1: you can't tell and narcissist that they're narcissists, the'll freak
Speaker 1: out and it's I was telling you this earlier, like
Speaker 1: all these articles seem to paint narcissists people as like
Speaker 1: the evil people of the world. I'm like, fun, it's
Speaker 1: not true. We're talking about people with like narcissistic personality disorder.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. It's not not having a
Speaker 1: big ego. It's it's way beyond that. And a lot
Speaker 1: of times it stems from a something traumatic happening to
Speaker 1: you in your childhood, and you cope by pushing things
Speaker 1: away or protecting yourself to the point of you driving
Speaker 1: other people away. And that's that's the coping mechanism that
Speaker 1: you unintentionally kind of learned um or or developed and
Speaker 1: um But I had talked to him about that and
Speaker 1: he came back last night he was like, I've researched it,
Speaker 1: and I I understand like a lot of the things
Speaker 1: that you're saying, like I I get now, like I
Speaker 1: would do that. And I was like, well, that's nice.
Speaker 1: I wish we could have had that convert when we
Speaker 1: were together, to remove yourself though, to kind of reflect
Speaker 1: on what happened. Like it's like it's like you have
Speaker 1: to leave so you can so you can hover over
Speaker 1: yourself like in uh, you know, like Scrooge when he's
Speaker 1: looking back on his futurest path Auston presence and all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. It's very hard. It's very hard
Speaker 1: to see what's see what's quote unquote wrong with a
Speaker 1: relationship while you are in the midst of it. And
Speaker 1: I am somebody who I feel crazy a lot of
Speaker 1: the times and in situations where I'll just question myself
Speaker 1: and it stems back to the fucking bipolar mom thing
Speaker 1: of like, oh did I must have done something? I
Speaker 1: guess I am I nuts, like I feel nuts, and
Speaker 1: it's I very easily feel crazy. I feel like I
Speaker 1: feel crazy all the fucking time. Um, that's part of
Speaker 1: the New York and partly called me as well. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. Not really healthy, sou but I am. It
Speaker 1: was a decision that was like very difficult to make.
Speaker 1: But I'm also there's a part of me. There's so
Speaker 1: many parts of me. There's so many feelings that I
Speaker 1: have towards this other than deep sadness. One of them
Speaker 1: is like I'm so proud of myself for doing something
Speaker 1: scary that's not gonna feel good because it does not
Speaker 1: feel good. There is a part of me that's excited
Speaker 1: because it's new enough, but like like sex with another person,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I can't. Like I just
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thinking about so many, so many different
Speaker 1: thoughts are flashing in my head of like, Okay, what
Speaker 1: if I start casually fucking somebody? I was telling you
Speaker 1: this earlier and then and then at my period, like
Speaker 1: do I tell them that my period? Like is that something?
Speaker 1: I just go I can't tonight, like all the stupid
Speaker 1: little thoughts that that's my advice, by the way, was
Speaker 1: just give them my heads up via text. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: like I've done a lots of times. It's really it's
Speaker 1: really fine. And if not, like it's a quick it's
Speaker 1: like especially now that you're thirty, like so you're not
Speaker 1: sucking anyone and like I'm guessing in their twenties anymore.
Speaker 1: So it's just like I mean, yea, I mean like
Speaker 1: I'm guess just guessing me what guys in their twenties? Um,
Speaker 1: butlince you hit thirty or like thank god? Uh and
Speaker 1: then uh and just like it's a good if you
Speaker 1: know someone can't handle periods X or like if they're
Speaker 1: grossed out by I can understand, like with a random
Speaker 1: person that you're being like, I'm not into I'm not
Speaker 1: into that because like, honestly, if I was a guy,
Speaker 1: I don't know that if I would, I would want
Speaker 1: period blood of someone I'm not like in love with
Speaker 1: on my body or at least have a crush on.
Speaker 1: I barely want my own period blood on my body.
Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to embrace it, but like, it's
Speaker 1: still blood. Let's not be crazy. Yeah no, but um,
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of the choice that I may because
Speaker 1: it is a reflection of the person that I want
Speaker 1: to be and it and it reflects the values that
Speaker 1: I tell other people to have. You know, somebody, I
Speaker 1: think you and I are so good at giving advice
Speaker 1: because no matter what the funk your problem is a
Speaker 1: lot of times, when it's revolving a relationship romantic relationship,
Speaker 1: it's like, are you happy and do you rely on
Speaker 1: this person for things that you should be relying on
Speaker 1: yourself for because that's not healthy for either of you,
Speaker 1: or or on the flip, does that person rely on
Speaker 1: you for things that they should be able to handle? Themselves,
Speaker 1: and um, I just never thought I would ever be
Speaker 1: a person to have this kind of strength. And I
Speaker 1: remember my mom left my dad when I was in
Speaker 1: fifth grade. They separated and she I've been talking to
Speaker 1: my mom a lot, and she was like, it was
Speaker 1: the hardest decision I had ever made in my entire life.
Speaker 1: And then for three years they were separated, and then
Speaker 1: he would do like for for reasons that she was like,
Speaker 1: I can't you know, she just wasn't happy in the relationship,
Speaker 1: and she finally decided to put herself first and and
Speaker 1: then my dad would start sending her like books of poetry,
Speaker 1: which I didn't even know we had that in him.
Speaker 1: He's a sweet eye, but like, and then they got
Speaker 1: back together and they reunited in their their relationship is
Speaker 1: is beautiful and it's amazing, and it's rooted around humor.
Speaker 1: And I feel like they had time to grow by
Speaker 1: themselves and get scared and figure out who they are
Speaker 1: and then they came back together and they have this
Speaker 1: wonderful because it was her mom like eighteen years old
Speaker 1: or something when they met. She was really young. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they got married and had a kid when she was
Speaker 1: nineteen and uh yeah, and I just, um, I that's all.
Speaker 1: I don't know what kind of like I've lost weight
Speaker 1: in tears. I'm sure you have nothing. Nothing's better diet
Speaker 1: than breakups. We've talked about that before. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: not working as swiftly on my end as I had hoped.
Speaker 1: But you know, we're down five pounds, so that's great.
Speaker 1: Keep it going everyone. I wish I was polyamorous so
Speaker 1: I could could could have lost multiple um one is
Speaker 1: that every five pounds for you? Everyone is everyone around
Speaker 1: a hare um um and we're kind of going off
Speaker 1: what you said. What's made it especially difficult in co
Speaker 1: hosting this podcast is that everyone comes to us with
Speaker 1: their problems and it's like, well, where's the room for
Speaker 1: our problems? And also it's so difficult to give out
Speaker 1: um advice when you are not taking the advice that
Speaker 1: you are giving fully um. And it's hard to like
Speaker 1: make it, you know, it's hard to separate like podcast
Speaker 1: life and regular life and so often and like I mean,
Speaker 1: like who you here on the podcast like for me
Speaker 1: is like really like like accurate of who I am.
Speaker 1: It's not all of me um, which I think some
Speaker 1: people are like, well, you know Karin's always in a
Speaker 1: bad moon. It's like, well, no, I mean, it's still
Speaker 1: there's still an entertainment value here. So I definitely like
Speaker 1: play up the misery just because I find it to
Speaker 1: be comical in the juxtaposition between us. But like, I
Speaker 1: have a lot lots of great moments where I'm very
Speaker 1: happy in my own home, mostly when I'm alone. Um,
Speaker 1: but that's accurate. Uh, but so often I'll find myself
Speaker 1: in situations uh, and I'll ask myself, like, what would
Speaker 1: Podcast Kren say, because that's the kind of that's the
Speaker 1: person I always want to be taking advice from UM
Speaker 1: in my in my life. And uh, you know, when
Speaker 1: I announced UM and I was like a fucking announcement
Speaker 1: that James and I were dating two years ago. We
Speaker 1: literally had a meeting, and it felt like making a
Speaker 1: publicity announcement. I hated every aspect of that. I hated
Speaker 1: having to like I had finally found um, you know,
Speaker 1: someone I really feel like I deeply connected with, and
Speaker 1: I thought, I kind of think there was a part
Speaker 1: of me that really resented having to share that with
Speaker 1: other people after I had shared so much of myself
Speaker 1: because he didn't want feedback on that I didn't want
Speaker 1: feedback and it's like, when is it enough? And UM,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I really need to
Speaker 1: try to see the best in people. And I hate
Speaker 1: when UM artists talk down to their audience, and I
Speaker 1: always try to talk up to people and hope that
Speaker 1: they will rise to the level of intelligence that I
Speaker 1: would like to be speaking at. UH. And I misjudged
Speaker 1: UH honestly a lot of people, and I was really
Speaker 1: let down. I thought, I thought it would be really
Speaker 1: cool to on like a very liberal leaning pop progressive
Speaker 1: podcast UM to talk about a relationship with someone who
Speaker 1: was on the quote on the other side, who voted
Speaker 1: for Trump. And as soon as and you know, maybe
Speaker 1: it was in the order that I released that information,
Speaker 1: maybe it was like not a good idea that that's
Speaker 1: the first thing I lead with, but I was so
Speaker 1: fascinated by it and was such going through the election
Speaker 1: being a devout Hillary supporter UM dating being in love
Speaker 1: with someone who was a devout Trump support supporter was
Speaker 1: so interesting and I really I thought UM our listeners
Speaker 1: were adult enough to handle that I was completely incorrect,
Speaker 1: And for a long time I was so disappointed in
Speaker 1: the reactions I got from people, the judgment, the um
Speaker 1: questioning after. So it's like, it was so interesting to
Speaker 1: me that people will come to me for advice UM
Speaker 1: for for years, and then as soon as I made
Speaker 1: one choice that they did not agree with, questioned my
Speaker 1: own choices as if I could not make an intelligent
Speaker 1: choice for myself. Very infuriating and insulting, and I felt
Speaker 1: very betrayed by that, um as I and I kind
Speaker 1: of um then stopped sharing a lot of my relationship
Speaker 1: with James on the podcast You Guys. I don't talk
Speaker 1: about him a lot on the podcast you Haven't Heard,
Speaker 1: and so unfortunately, I feel like probably people thought that
Speaker 1: our relationship was not very serious or that I didn't
Speaker 1: really lie him, when in reality, UM, I have never
Speaker 1: connected with another human being on the planet on the
Speaker 1: level that I connect with James. Uh. He sees the
Speaker 1: world in like such unique way and um I uh.
Speaker 1: And he's a free thinker. And it's so hard being
Speaker 1: a comedian and being around people who claim to be
Speaker 1: comedians or who really are open in their free thought
Speaker 1: and like just are really not. It's like they're they're
Speaker 1: willing to say, like cunt in a joke about Trump
Speaker 1: that is not being a free thinker or or just
Speaker 1: being loudmouthed about a liberal agenda is not being a
Speaker 1: free thinker. It's just like being in your own it's
Speaker 1: just like fucking everyone's just like shake patting themselves on
Speaker 1: the back for retweets and blogs, and it's like it's
Speaker 1: so kind of the curiosity, it's just so and yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like yeah, it's just it's just it's just
Speaker 1: very very frustrating and so for me like to have
Speaker 1: to like and even and I see it like in Facebook,
Speaker 1: the updates from people that I love and respect just
Speaker 1: like the same like at this point, like propaganda and
Speaker 1: that just regurgitated Liberals are right and we have come
Speaker 1: to save the earth and that everything that anyone does,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like, honestly, like I am not a
Speaker 1: Donald Trump supporter, James F. Y, I is not even
Speaker 1: a Trump supporter anymore. Um, we've all gone rogue. And
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm and I feel like I'm going
Speaker 1: crazy a lot of the time, not because of my
Speaker 1: in my own just like i feel like I'm living
Speaker 1: in a world where I'm like it's so clear to me,
Speaker 1: like nothing that we're doing is helping and none of
Speaker 1: us are going to get along. And I don't know
Speaker 1: how many sit down interviews I have to watch, you know,
Speaker 1: David Letterman do with Malala. But it's just a lot
Speaker 1: of it is such fucking nonsense. And it's like I
Speaker 1: really feel, uh, comedians need to be like we need
Speaker 1: to be doing our job, which is making people laugh,
Speaker 1: not being phoe journalists. Anyway, I love the David Letterman,
Speaker 1: but what what the hell is that? Um uh? So
Speaker 1: I just get really mad about it. Um But anyway,
Speaker 1: back to the breakup, I uh and so I am
Speaker 1: definitely devastated. A lot of the it was, you know,
Speaker 1: a decision that it was a long time coming. I
Speaker 1: just felt very uh alone in the relationship, um and
Speaker 1: I had given up on it. You know, I actually
Speaker 1: broke up with James like almost like a month before
Speaker 1: Christina brought broke up with I didn't tell anyone, including Christina,
Speaker 1: like I told no one, like actually, I have to
Speaker 1: text some of my friends before this episode comes out.
Speaker 1: That's how few people know. Um uh and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it's just very it's very difficult to be
Speaker 1: like I love this person so much. But I think
Speaker 1: Christina mentioned this that one like the relationship is not
Speaker 1: serving me any longer. Um, and uh it sucks and
Speaker 1: I don't really know what to do and I am
Speaker 1: not I'm at a different point in my life than
Speaker 1: you're like. I've already done the like go out there
Speaker 1: and be free, and I've enjoyed my youth I too fully.
Speaker 1: Really I thought I did, But it was really from
Speaker 1: like I was single from like twenty three and that
Speaker 1: I don't know, I didn't know shit about ship and yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't really get to I don't know. I was
Speaker 1: parading around this like I was wild in my early
Speaker 1: twenties and I was, but like for three years. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: I I mean I was also like think it has
Speaker 1: to do with like the time that you are single.
Speaker 1: So I was on my you know for four full
Speaker 1: years in that time. I you know, I had I
Speaker 1: dated on and off, you know, the old the forty
Speaker 1: five year old as I like to call him, and um,
Speaker 1: but uh, you know, I wasn't I certainly wasn't looking
Speaker 1: to be single. I was not unhappy being in a relationship.
Speaker 1: It's just like I felt at a certain point that
Speaker 1: I was at a level where I kind of was
Speaker 1: more an autopilot with my career, not that I wasn't
Speaker 1: putting in work into it, but I have kind of
Speaker 1: had kind of found my path and what I think
Speaker 1: I need to be doing. And that's a big part
Speaker 1: of like being the entertainment business. Whereas James, even though
Speaker 1: he's a year older than me, is you know, a
Speaker 1: class or two behind me in comedy. Uh. And so
Speaker 1: he's still working through that is very talented for how
Speaker 1: long he's been doing it Jeesz Chris. Yeah, And at
Speaker 1: this point, I just feel like I'm and so many
Speaker 1: people do this and I feel like I'm just like
Speaker 1: was being his manager, and I'm like, you have to
Speaker 1: just get out and do these things. And I really
Speaker 1: have very little tolerance for people who are not getting
Speaker 1: out and doing things, and the same thing as you
Speaker 1: who are kind of sitting and complaining that things aren't
Speaker 1: going their way. Like entertainment. Getting into this business, uh
Speaker 1: more so than I think mostly any other business is
Speaker 1: a real gamble. Most of the people who enter who
Speaker 1: enter entertainment are not gonna be successful. You're never gonna
Speaker 1: know their name, You're gonna have one credit on IMDb.
Speaker 1: And I understand that what we have done is like
Speaker 1: you know, one in a million shots and I and
Speaker 1: I don't. I want to say, I can't believe we
Speaker 1: did it, Like I truly feel like it was like
Speaker 1: I was. I also feel like it was like destiny.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this before, like where you felt like
Speaker 1: from a little kid, this was the only thing that
Speaker 1: I ever thought I was supposed to do, Like I
Speaker 1: just fucking knew. Um. And that's rare. I think that
Speaker 1: somebody has that in their William HUNGK is that the
Speaker 1: guy American idol? He was destined? Oh no, no, it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay, William Hung. We love you well, you know
Speaker 1: what we're talking about him right now. So I guess
Speaker 1: he was right, just maybe it wasn't executed in the
Speaker 1: way that he thought it would be. Um. I hope
Speaker 1: everyone was laughing with I don't know. I don't know. Um.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I don't really know what's us to say. Again,
Speaker 1: I don't have a ton And there's you know, other
Speaker 1: things that went on our relationship, um and nothing not
Speaker 1: not infidelity or anything like that, just uh, just stuff
Speaker 1: that I'm going to keep to myself, and reasons that
Speaker 1: don't need to be discussed publicly because you guys kind
Speaker 1: of lost your opportunity that. Obviously this is not to everyone.
Speaker 1: Some people were totally chill with it, and I appreciate that,
Speaker 1: but I think it's just, Um. All I ask is that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you're friends, you know, don't maybe you
Speaker 1: don't worry about the relationships uh that your friends and
Speaker 1: so much unless they ask you. And also it's like
Speaker 1: unless you think someone is truly like going to be
Speaker 1: physically or mentally abused in a relationship. Those are kind
Speaker 1: of the points that my mom always set out for me.
Speaker 1: She was like, you know, I won't really give you
Speaker 1: feedback on you know, anyone you bring home unless I
Speaker 1: actually think you are in mental or physical danger. Um.
Speaker 1: And I try to try to do the same. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't really like I like my like don't like
Speaker 1: most of my friend significant others, just because you know,
Speaker 1: mostly time as significant others is someone taking time away
Speaker 1: from you and your friend hanging out. So I mean,
Speaker 1: really that's what a significant other is. Um. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do wish like, Um, I remember reading like emails and
Speaker 1: stuff when you talked about James for the first time,
Speaker 1: and like, I can't it's grin really fucking at Trump support,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I was disappointed to because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I was actually really excited to have conversations with me.
Speaker 1: Here is a young person who is who is well read,
Speaker 1: who is passionate about about supporting him. I want to know, like,
Speaker 1: what excites you about him? What are you what are
Speaker 1: you looking for to what do you like most? Is
Speaker 1: there anything you don't like? What are your critiques? Like
Speaker 1: my fucking father, who was one of my favorite men
Speaker 1: in the fucking universe, voted for Donald Trump. Anybody said
Speaker 1: anything bad about him, I swear to God, I come
Speaker 1: to your home and I punched in the face. Yeah
Speaker 1: I would, because I probably wouldn't you really live? This
Speaker 1: is not a threat. But but that just doesn't It
Speaker 1: doesn't make you a bad person because you voted for Trump,
Speaker 1: like I and I know that when Hillary lost the election,
Speaker 1: and we really we were crit and I were both
Speaker 1: like fuck and we were devastated, and I tried to
Speaker 1: guess why anybody would vote for him. But it's like
Speaker 1: I was, I was, I was but hurt and I
Speaker 1: was just sad, and that's what that was. I was
Speaker 1: also more angry about just the outward hate of women
Speaker 1: towards Hillary. I think that was a big issue, and
Speaker 1: I I mean, I stand I stand stand by those comments.
Speaker 1: I mean you could have voted for Trump without like
Speaker 1: just being like she's a fat count with cankles, Like
Speaker 1: that's not necessary. Guys like you, Yeah, you are capable
Speaker 1: of speaking about Hillary Rodham Clinton without using any bad words. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's ticks is just the mess. I mean, no one's
Speaker 1: doing fucking anything, So what's the difference. I Mean a
Speaker 1: lot of times I just think all of this is
Speaker 1: so the government and everything, it's just so corrupt. There's
Speaker 1: so many other things that we don't see as regular
Speaker 1: everyday citizens. And can you a little bit. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean there's just like through this podcast, there's so many
Speaker 1: inner workings and so much so much like Illuminati level
Speaker 1: shit in every kind of field that exists. So it's
Speaker 1: just like on a small scale, just try to like
Speaker 1: be a good person and you know, not get drunk
Speaker 1: to the point of filling out of your chair at
Speaker 1: the show. Yeah. Oh you guys, we've been to something.
Speaker 1: I mean, we've we've really been to something. We've been
Speaker 1: on the road a lot, and if we're very thankful
Speaker 1: for all of the support and you guys coming out
Speaker 1: to the live shows. These shows are fucking really fun
Speaker 1: to do. And uh, stand up comedy is very important
Speaker 1: to both of us, and uh we use it as
Speaker 1: time to get things off our chest at time to
Speaker 1: push our own boundaries of time, to push your boundaries,
Speaker 1: because that's what good comedy does. And it's all trial
Speaker 1: and error. You know. We try ship that we want
Speaker 1: to work and it doesn't or we don't think it's
Speaker 1: gonna work, and then it fucking crushes and we're like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: I know that, Like, comedy is never it's not finished product.
Speaker 1: It's not like you. It's not when you go to
Speaker 1: see Hamilton's on Broadway. That is the finished product. So
Speaker 1: I think just keep that in mind when you want
Speaker 1: to see comedy shows. Like if something like triggers you,
Speaker 1: it's not a it's okay, it's a work in process.
Speaker 1: We're working out too, and based on kind of like
Speaker 1: your reaction and then I don't buy that. I don't
Speaker 1: mean to talk after the show. I mean like, either
Speaker 1: you laugh or you don't laugh. Those are the two
Speaker 1: appropriate reactions in comedy laugh or don't laugh. Uh, And
Speaker 1: by that we are crafting our act day in and
Speaker 1: a day out. It's ever changing. Yeah, And if you
Speaker 1: ever hear Kara and I get really frustrated about like
Speaker 1: drone people on the road, it's it's because we we've
Speaker 1: had points where we're on the road where every show
Speaker 1: sometimes or three shows in a row, there will be
Speaker 1: and it's sorry, but it's mainly young white chicks. I
Speaker 1: just it's just it is. I don't think that has
Speaker 1: been it has been any other kind of person that.
Speaker 1: But they'll also who primarily comes to That's true, that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're shitty people in every every group of anyone. But
Speaker 1: um but I'm like, come on, guys, But then they'll
Speaker 1: just go, they'll be wasted. And that we're on stage.
Speaker 1: We each do a thirty minutes stand up set in
Speaker 1: our live shows and uh, and we work really fucking
Speaker 1: hard on these and they mean a lot to us,
Speaker 1: our jokes and our material and kind of learning and
Speaker 1: growing in your reaction. It's a great gauge of like
Speaker 1: how the materials going. And there'll be times when we'll
Speaker 1: be at shows that every every time I pause, I
Speaker 1: hear the same girl, yes queen, and I'm like, shut
Speaker 1: the fuck, shut the funk up. Shut the funk up.
Speaker 1: Why can't you shut the funk up? You shut the
Speaker 1: funk up. Or they're just like it's like whoa. Or
Speaker 1: also I'll start a joke about my mom and someone
Speaker 1: will be like, diefy, none of these are helpful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's and it's just like it's I think it bothers
Speaker 1: us so much because it's like we we know you better,
Speaker 1: we know you're better than that, and it's such a
Speaker 1: you know, it's a percentage of people that we're talking
Speaker 1: boy and every crowd and this is this is such
Speaker 1: this is such a group effort. The podcast we uh,
Speaker 1: you know, we read emails from you guys on every episode.
Speaker 1: We ask you questions. You know, we're doing a project
Speaker 1: where we're working with over the summer where we're working
Speaker 1: with you guys face to face and when you're kind
Speaker 1: of out in the world, like it really is like,
Speaker 1: you guys are a reflection on us. You are and
Speaker 1: when you're your shows your reflection on us. The club
Speaker 1: absolutely makes a comment every time, and most of the
Speaker 1: times the comment is that your your listeners are so nice,
Speaker 1: and we love that, but it's just really hard, um
Speaker 1: uh to have fans for the first time in your life,
Speaker 1: and then for those fans to be acting in a
Speaker 1: way that is just completely not the message you're trying
Speaker 1: to get across. It makes It makes me feel a
Speaker 1: lot of times like am I a bad person? Is
Speaker 1: what I am putting out into the universe? Not good?
Speaker 1: Should I stop doing this? That's how I feel when
Speaker 1: someone gets is yelling at a show or is vomiting
Speaker 1: in the aisles, and like when you say, happen a lot,
Speaker 1: this happens in every city at least sitting Mariette. That
Speaker 1: was one woman got taken away in an ambulant ambulance
Speaker 1: because she was somebody. This woman in the middle of
Speaker 1: my set was really too. You know, two women were sitting.
Speaker 1: They were sitting up front, and they were great. At
Speaker 1: the beginning, they were great, they were laughing, and then
Speaker 1: they started to get a little woeie. I'm like, don't
Speaker 1: we stay at the top of our shows like you
Speaker 1: might hear something that do you think it's about you?
Speaker 1: It's not? And uh. And then during my set I
Speaker 1: just saw her do the rocking and then she was
Speaker 1: rocking as if like her head was between her legs,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that ain't good. And her friend
Speaker 1: was like, it's fine, Please don't draw an attention to us.
Speaker 1: Is embarrassing. I'm like, yeah, but you guys think she
Speaker 1: needs help? Is she okay? And I'm like, man, do
Speaker 1: you need like water or something? She's like ahh And
Speaker 1: then she was about to blow chunks and I was like, sorry,
Speaker 1: but I gotta stop. I stopped the set and I
Speaker 1: was like, can somebody get her and get her to safety?
Speaker 1: And she got A paramedic came and they had to
Speaker 1: they had to give her I V. Because it's not yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's not for a second that we are not grateful,
Speaker 1: that we do not love that everyone comes out that
Speaker 1: we do not realize how fortunate we are and how
Speaker 1: what I like shot in the dark trying this whole
Speaker 1: podcast was and I am in shock. Everyone's like can
Speaker 1: you could you? Can you believe that this happened? I go, no,
Speaker 1: who fu starts a podcast and it becomes popular, like
Speaker 1: like never, no name, It just never happened. It never happens.
Speaker 1: And yes, we you know, we are getting paid down.
Speaker 1: This is our full time occupation, but that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's easy. We still are putting a tremendous We work
Speaker 1: so much harder now than we did before, even when
Speaker 1: we had multiple jobs, and we really want to put
Speaker 1: out a good product. And there's a lot of understand
Speaker 1: we wanna, you know, we wanna you know, have women
Speaker 1: not get raped and then and we also but then
Speaker 1: we also wanna you know, go out and be able
Speaker 1: to tell jokes and share comedy with people and made
Speaker 1: people realize that women are really fucking funny. Um. And
Speaker 1: so there's a lot of stuff at stake there, and
Speaker 1: that's I think why we get mad a lot. And
Speaker 1: I know it probably seems like, oh, we complain a lot,
Speaker 1: but it's just like it is, I think more so
Speaker 1: than with other relationships between like artists and the fans
Speaker 1: of their art, this is really like a group effort.
Speaker 1: And so you guys really are a reflection of us
Speaker 1: and and and to a certain extent, and this is unfair,
Speaker 1: but like women, you're are a reflection of women and
Speaker 1: what people think about women. And it's not fair, but
Speaker 1: it's true. And um, you know, just as with women comedian,
Speaker 1: like you know, where men comedians aren't. You know, if
Speaker 1: a man goes on stage and bombs or not, and
Speaker 1: someone doesn't think all men aren't funny. But a lot
Speaker 1: of times when a woman is the only personal show
Speaker 1: and a woman goes on stage and bombs like like
Speaker 1: I know it right, Like we're like, nah, she's a
Speaker 1: fucking she's figuring it out. Give a fucking break, right,
Speaker 1: And that's we know you guys are figuring it out.
Speaker 1: But it's also we want you to be safe. And
Speaker 1: you know a lot of it's my I having like
Speaker 1: an irrational fear of like people drinking and driving um
Speaker 1: on their way home for our shows, and like I
Speaker 1: truly worry about it, and like I just don't ever
Speaker 1: want something that we're trying to do that's nice and
Speaker 1: fun to turn into like a fucking tragedy. And and
Speaker 1: it's and we talked about playing defense a lot, and
Speaker 1: just like getting drunk to the point where you cannot
Speaker 1: sit up during a show and you're falling out of
Speaker 1: your chair. Yeah, no one should touch your vagina, but
Speaker 1: still it's not a it's not a good situation to
Speaker 1: be in. It's unsafe, even on a very basic level.
Speaker 1: It's just not good for your body, for your liver,
Speaker 1: for your brain, for your mental sanity, for your mental health.
Speaker 1: Um uh yeah, I I didn't. Man, this podcast has
Speaker 1: taken so many twists and turn twists and turns, and
Speaker 1: this is the one that I really didn't see coming.
Speaker 1: Have we both ever been single at the same time.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, because we've been in a relationship
Speaker 1: at the Danna Sam, But we've never been single because
Speaker 1: you were with Steven when we started. I was single,
Speaker 1: as everyone knows. Um really we're living it up, really
Speaker 1: talked about it a lot excessively. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: forgot to tell the funniest story because I got so
Speaker 1: I got so think so Okay, So the breakup have been,
Speaker 1: you know, like over a month ago. James and I
Speaker 1: have still been talking and it's been, you know, tumultuous.
Speaker 1: Our relationship has always been tumultuous. We're just that kind
Speaker 1: of people. Like it's never like we're we It's the
Speaker 1: what it is like when you're dating someone who's also
Speaker 1: like a super free thinker. It's very interesting because neither
Speaker 1: of you are ever gonna let anything just slide. And like,
Speaker 1: I've truly never felt like I was dating myself as
Speaker 1: much as I feel like with James, even though our
Speaker 1: views were different, like our just the way we look
Speaker 1: at the world is very very similar, um, and just
Speaker 1: reading through bullshit like it's nothing like like things that
Speaker 1: so many times there be things that like the media
Speaker 1: or everyone in the comedy community was applauding, and we
Speaker 1: would just fucking sit home and most how moronic everyone
Speaker 1: around us wasn't it was It's great. Um. Everyone everyone
Speaker 1: needs a friend like that. Um. And uh so yes,
Speaker 1: what was this today's Monday? Yeah, yes, So yesterday I
Speaker 1: woke up and I had to go to I had
Speaker 1: to go to a court something. And I fucking realized
Speaker 1: when I woke up, uh, that I had not taken
Speaker 1: my tampon out. So how long had it been? It
Speaker 1: had been like it had been like too long to
Speaker 1: have a tampon, Like I had put it in before
Speaker 1: I started my shows on Saturday night, and it was
Speaker 1: like Sunday, you know, like noon or something, and so
Speaker 1: I couldn't even feel it anymore. I had been sucked
Speaker 1: into the ether of my vaginet and I've never had
Speaker 1: that happen before. And I go, and I go, did
Speaker 1: I take it out last night? And do I not remember?
Speaker 1: I like looked through my trash in the garden in
Speaker 1: my bathroom, and then I was like, and I didn't
Speaker 1: see the string, and so I was like, I gotta
Speaker 1: finger myself now and see eight and I and I
Speaker 1: just at the time, I sick my entire in the
Speaker 1: X finger in and just at the very tip, I
Speaker 1: felt a tampon en. Oh my god, and I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: this has never happened. For I know, it's like a
Speaker 1: thing that happened. But I only also like death really
Speaker 1: afraid of a toxic shock syndrome because I know there's
Speaker 1: like a hot model who like bounces around with one
Speaker 1: leg because she had it. But like I am five three,
Speaker 1: so modeling is not in my future. I'm also thirty
Speaker 1: two years old, so I can't get I can't be
Speaker 1: a one legged hot toxic shock model. So when you
Speaker 1: say it like that, I feel like syndrome model. I
Speaker 1: feel like there's a need for it, like a goth
Speaker 1: top toxic shock syndrome model, but it's gonna be a
Speaker 1: hot topics book person. But I feel like that slot
Speaker 1: has already been feeled. I feel like there's only a
Speaker 1: room in the market for one hot, one like toxic
Speaker 1: shock syndrom model. And I feel like I already saw
Speaker 1: that subway at so I can't. It's taken um the subway.
Speaker 1: I was just like, hey girl, I mean basically, they
Speaker 1: really like to strike fear in the hearts of women
Speaker 1: and it's working. Um, And so I'm I'm like kindicking.
Speaker 1: I went on Wiki how dot com. I'm looking at
Speaker 1: all these things to do. I try to get it
Speaker 1: out myself. I just cut it. So I called. I
Speaker 1: called James because he lives down the street, and I
Speaker 1: was like, we have an emergency. I have a tampon
Speaker 1: stuff so deep and something. I mean, I cannot get
Speaker 1: it out. And so he's like out from the gym,
Speaker 1: I got a shower, and I was like, there's no
Speaker 1: time for showers. I got were moments away from me
Speaker 1: being one legged, you know. And it's not for anything heroic,
Speaker 1: Like if I have one leg, it better because I
Speaker 1: staved the baby from a shark attack. It has to
Speaker 1: be campy because you forgot to take a champ on.
Speaker 1: Can't because this bitch would stayed out too late and
Speaker 1: then fell asleep before taking her tamp on out. Like
Speaker 1: that's not That's not the way I wanna go down
Speaker 1: to one, you know. So I called him. I answered
Speaker 1: the door naked as is my em Oh you know
Speaker 1: dore naked for you. It's just kind of my thing.
Speaker 1: Um and uh are you crying? Are you? Just like
Speaker 1: I was la thing and so like I mean him,
Speaker 1: I watched him wash his hands because I'm a clean freak,
Speaker 1: and I like just get on the bed and like
Speaker 1: go into full stirrups position and he like can't get
Speaker 1: it out. And then so he loves up his hands
Speaker 1: because that's to do one wiki how and he's and
Speaker 1: he's like two fingers didn't work, like he felt it,
Speaker 1: he moved. I felt it inside, he's moving it. And
Speaker 1: then he finally got a third finger inside, and he's
Speaker 1: like I don't know. He's like he's like, good thing.
Speaker 1: You don't want a baby because I don't think this
Speaker 1: is tight area. I don't think this is She's like,
Speaker 1: you can't even And I was literally like doing Lama's
Speaker 1: breathing because it hurts so badly to have three fingers
Speaker 1: inside me. I was like, Mommy knows never she one
Speaker 1: never want to get fisted. Stop bragging. And I was
Speaker 1: like like I was reading so hard and and uh,
Speaker 1: he finally pulls the tampon out, and I mean it's
Speaker 1: like the scene of Miss Doubtfire where she gives it.
Speaker 1: She gives the thing the whole time time and so
Speaker 1: and he pulls it out and he's like it's like
Speaker 1: victorious in his hand, and like as soon as the
Speaker 1: tampon came out, like I just like was overcome with
Speaker 1: so much emotion. Uh, it's a thing. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was so grateful. I was so happy that I
Speaker 1: am at a place in my life where I'm comfortable
Speaker 1: enough to let my ex boyfriends fish that fishes tampon
Speaker 1: out of me. And it's just like it's a level
Speaker 1: of comfort that I think I hope everyone has with
Speaker 1: their partner or you know, I just hope that everyone
Speaker 1: has someone in their lives that they are comfortable enough
Speaker 1: with to have to call if they need a tampon
Speaker 1: removed to Rosebuds credit. She also had offered to get
Speaker 1: some travel tongs and come over and do it. But
Speaker 1: it's like, it's just so nice to have so many
Speaker 1: people in my life that I truly truly felt comfortable
Speaker 1: enough to have come and remove a tampon from me,
Speaker 1: because I feel like so often like the problem with
Speaker 1: women's health is like we're all like we're embarrassed about
Speaker 1: our bodies. And I'm like, first of all, if you
Speaker 1: google anything and even the most that rageous thing has
Speaker 1: happened to other people, and getting a tampon stuck is
Speaker 1: not even outrageous. Um. And then and just so you know,
Speaker 1: never you know, like never put yourself in harm's way
Speaker 1: because you're like embarrassed about your body or you're embarrassed
Speaker 1: about like something stupid that a million other people did.
Speaker 1: And I was like, it's really nice that and the
Speaker 1: James and I mean we laughed our way through this.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't stop laughing. And I was like, does
Speaker 1: this make you think different about me as a woman?
Speaker 1: Like you is a jerk off to this jam? But
Speaker 1: it was that was just a very interesting and I
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, the timing on that, it's like to
Speaker 1: think you dated someone for two years and you really
Speaker 1: kept your tampons and checked that whole time. It's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: And you know, a mere month after you part ways,
Speaker 1: you just really can't get that tampon right. Also, it
Speaker 1: is organic, and I'm thinking maybe that that ship gets
Speaker 1: stopped up. Damn it. There's you know, there's something to
Speaker 1: have in chemicals and things. Guys they do help. Another
Speaker 1: thing I will say is, if you are in your
Speaker 1: life currently feeling down repressed for whatever reason, whether it's
Speaker 1: heartache or whatever the funk you got, going on go
Speaker 1: live comedy. It will change your life and it will
Speaker 1: make you realize that you are not doomed. The world
Speaker 1: is not the worst place in the world. You know what,
Speaker 1: the world is not the worst place in the world.
Speaker 1: Uh that it's gonna be like handling things with humor,
Speaker 1: I think is the most cathartic thing in the world.
Speaker 1: And um, I just yeah. Well, as a comedian once
Speaker 1: told me when I was in like the real the
Speaker 1: real deep parts of my breakup with Frank Um and
Speaker 1: after he heard about it from me, he looked me
Speaker 1: in the eyes and he said, nobody cares. And that
Speaker 1: was like probably the most helpful thing that anyone has
Speaker 1: ever said. Um, because I think it's good. You know
Speaker 1: that we're we're all doing charity now when we're all
Speaker 1: caring about each other and speaking about the issues, but
Speaker 1: we all have our ship going on, and like the
Speaker 1: people in your life can only care about your ship
Speaker 1: so much. But you can get through it by yourself.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that you can't call a friend,
Speaker 1: but it means like you have the strength within you,
Speaker 1: you really have a let and uh yeah. One of
Speaker 1: my favorite reactions from a friend was Ryan Reese, who's
Speaker 1: who was like a three days after it happened when
Speaker 1: I was texting him and he texts me one day's like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you finish your suicide note early coming down a
Speaker 1: fat black, I'm hosting a show, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: love you, Thank you, Ryan, Like just it's amazing. And
Speaker 1: also I just wanted to personally thank my best friends. Melissa,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you deserve an award for being there
Speaker 1: for me and I really appreciate it, and and Clara,
Speaker 1: Michelle and everybody that I know, Ashley, Stephanie, like I
Speaker 1: I really, Um, one of my favorite things in my
Speaker 1: life is that I surround myself with My female friends
Speaker 1: are like fucking incredible. They're badass women, They're hard working.
Speaker 1: They both have these really unique interests that they fucking
Speaker 1: go for and I'm so proud of them and I'm
Speaker 1: so proud to know them, and and uh yeah, I
Speaker 1: just want to say thank you to that, and uh
Speaker 1: thanks for listening to this. Yeah, thank you guys. I
Speaker 1: know it's just probably you know, a real surprise for
Speaker 1: some of you. Uh and you know, if you were
Speaker 1: you know, looking at Christina and Stephen as Dawson and Joey,
Speaker 1: is that or something well Dawson enjoy I think would be.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's just like I don't know because
Speaker 1: I feel like so many people put your relationship UM
Speaker 1: on a pedestal and kind of like I did that too,
Speaker 1: and like and like aimed for that. But it's just like,
Speaker 1: you know what, there's ship. There's just like ship going
Speaker 1: on behind that you don't you don't know you guys don't.
Speaker 1: It's like we're sharing stuff with you, but it's like
Speaker 1: also you don't know what's going on in our lives.
Speaker 1: You don't know. You don't know James, you don't know
Speaker 1: Stephen really a little bit more because he's been on.
Speaker 1: But it's just like kind of do your own thing
Speaker 1: and don't aspire to be like us. Just inspired to
Speaker 1: be like the best version of yourself. That's the best
Speaker 1: gift we could ever give anybody in the way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a complete understanding of who you are. That's that's
Speaker 1: all you need. You don't need to like listen to
Speaker 1: other things. And I think I've gotten myself into so
Speaker 1: much trouble in my life by like watching a movie
Speaker 1: or and trying to emulate that or trying to make
Speaker 1: my life like that, and it's comparing. Comparing is the worst. Yeah,
Speaker 1: life is full of like life is full of like
Speaker 1: full of crap. Really, but you'll get well, you'll get
Speaker 1: through it, and it'll be really funny moments and they'll
Speaker 1: be terrible moments and beautiful moments. But like when I
Speaker 1: and I and no matter if I'm single or in
Speaker 1: a relationship, uh, the best relationship I always have is
Speaker 1: the relationship I have with myself. And that's so hacked
Speaker 1: to say, but it's like we cannot, I can't, like
Speaker 1: I can't reiterate enough times how important that is. Um
Speaker 1: And it's going to be the most beautiful, long lasting
Speaker 1: relationship that you're ever going to have. That's a good note. Tender.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, thank you. Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot I
Speaker 1: have to say this. It's been thanks for listening to guys.
Speaker 1: We fund the anti splash shaming podcast. We'll talk to
Speaker 1: you next Friday. Gusto, do you it is your face
Speaker 1: to the time, I'm moving on every single day you've
Speaker 1: gone then with start up again to other time you
Speaker 1: don't make the groundle more to other time, I would
Speaker 1: deal just a the time I'm used to earn no more.
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