Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about last night Anti slut shaming podcast. I
Speaker 1: never stopped. Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of Guys
Speaker 1: We Fuck. It's the Anti sluc Podcast. I'm Karren, I'm
Speaker 1: Christina and hello. You can follow us on social media
Speaker 1: at sorry about last night. On Twitter, it's s r
Speaker 1: y about last n y T. I'm Philanthropy gall on
Speaker 1: all social media, and I'm Christina Hodge. It's k r
Speaker 1: y s T Y and A. And I did not
Speaker 1: choose the spelling, mo mom did perfect? People think I
Speaker 1: chose the spelling. I'm like that's embarrassing. No, who who?
Speaker 1: Who thinks that you get a stage name? Yeah? Or
Speaker 1: like I was like, I want to make my name
Speaker 1: better by spelling it all fucked up? Okay, I was
Speaker 1: like no, I was like, who names themselves? I was
Speaker 1: like that hippie dippy ship it um. Okay. So news
Speaker 1: update of the week. This is a little bit New
Speaker 1: York centric, but well, we live in New York, so
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to deal with it. Uh So there's
Speaker 1: a piece in The New Yorker that Difi pointed um
Speaker 1: out to me. I mean, because you know, I just
Speaker 1: like try to steer clear of the news basically altogether.
Speaker 1: So it's good that we're doing this segment because then
Speaker 1: we get educated, because then we've I'm forced to learn
Speaker 1: one news item every week and you know that's digestible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you know why why shouldn't it be? It's about
Speaker 1: sexual assault? Um. And so the title of this piece
Speaker 1: is four women accused New York's Attorney General of physical abuse.
Speaker 1: So his name is Eric Schneiderman. He has raised his
Speaker 1: profile as a voice against sexual miss conduct thanks that
Speaker 1: now after suing Harvey Weinstein, he faces a me too
Speaker 1: reckoning of his own. So basically, this article goes on
Speaker 1: to talk about, like in depth, the abuse that he
Speaker 1: has put four of his significant others, all female through,
Speaker 1: And uh, it's some stuff that I think he tried
Speaker 1: to play out as like a kink because a lot
Speaker 1: of it was like hitting in the bedroom, but like
Speaker 1: as someone who gets violent in the bedroom consensually, Like
Speaker 1: he's like open hand palm hitting people in the face
Speaker 1: as they're getting undressed and calling them not the time
Speaker 1: to do it, Eric, Ye, that's not And also like
Speaker 1: you just don't open palm slaps like it got if
Speaker 1: you're having a bit in a sexual situation and a
Speaker 1: man without telling you or without you asking for it,
Speaker 1: and or without him saying like, hey, I'm gonna hit
Speaker 1: you in the face, and you going, oh, that's kinky,
Speaker 1: open palm slaps you in the face by that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's difficult because I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: are confused, like why, you know, with with domestic violence
Speaker 1: and why people stay this is a really this guy
Speaker 1: is you know, obviously very powerful in the political world,
Speaker 1: and like Harvey Weinstein threatened to uh stalk them, threatened
Speaker 1: to kill them, threatened to ruin their lives, and a
Speaker 1: lot of times I think when people make those throw
Speaker 1: it's like I say, you know, try me. That's what
Speaker 1: I say. But it's not. It's scary, and you know,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I've never had anybody say those
Speaker 1: things to me, but I like that to happen. I
Speaker 1: would be pretty bummed out if they were said to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and especially when people started getting you know, threat in
Speaker 1: against your family. I don't know if he went that far,
Speaker 1: but he definitely threatened these women like that he would
Speaker 1: destroy their lives. That he would have them killed. And like,
Speaker 1: as we know, people at the top, you can pretty much.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you think you're doing well if
Speaker 1: you have enough money for seamless sin to send your
Speaker 1: laundry out, but like you really do have murderers at
Speaker 1: your disposal. The higher you get, like you can definitely
Speaker 1: get which people can do whatever they want well, and
Speaker 1: especially people in politics and entertainment, I feel like really
Speaker 1: have access to double power. There is a price for
Speaker 1: for anyone, and like there are you know, hitman are
Speaker 1: a thing guys, so if you're living your life thinking
Speaker 1: that they aren't. But it's just so fun to me.
Speaker 1: The main thing about this that is like I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not funny, but it is funny. It's like iron
Speaker 1: just any in my experience, like any man. It's like
Speaker 1: it's great. It's great as men to support the me
Speaker 1: too movement in that like yes, supporting your your people
Speaker 1: who step out against sexual assault. And it's not always women,
Speaker 1: but most most of the Me too movement is women
Speaker 1: and uh and you know, lifting women up, as they say.
Speaker 1: But if like you make your main fucking platform as
Speaker 1: a straight man who has never himself been sexually assaulted,
Speaker 1: if you make that your platform is like me too,
Speaker 1: I do not trust you. He's like, for for years
Speaker 1: been a liberal democratic champion of women right and women's
Speaker 1: rights and an outspoken figure. It's like, I don't trust
Speaker 1: these If you would have told me that, and that
Speaker 1: was the only thing I've ever learned about this person,
Speaker 1: I would be like, he does something fucked up to chicks. Well,
Speaker 1: I really have a joke like this. I always have
Speaker 1: a joke. I have a joke about feminism and that
Speaker 1: there's always one straight guy in the back of every
Speaker 1: room who's like two into femin is, that it makes
Speaker 1: us scared to get in our cars after the show,
Speaker 1: and that in a nutget exactly with this because they
Speaker 1: always are like too much. They have like fucking buttons
Speaker 1: about fuck you know, like I'm with her and feminine
Speaker 1: hashtag feminism. It's just like, don't make feminism about you,
Speaker 1: because then I also don't trust you. I think I
Speaker 1: think the best thing that somewhat a straight man can
Speaker 1: do in feminism or gay man because the feminism is,
Speaker 1: you know, for it's just like shutting up and let women.
Speaker 1: It would be great. That would be just this real
Speaker 1: opportunity for us. We literally had to start our own
Speaker 1: podcast so that we get enough words in UM and
Speaker 1: so no one would try and water us down. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I just this article. I mean, you can read
Speaker 1: it in The New Yorker at the New Yorker dot com.
Speaker 1: But I mean this is this is that it goes
Speaker 1: on for a reminiscent of like, uh, I mean, I
Speaker 1: list the one podcast that I listened to very consistently
Speaker 1: is is Dan Savages podcast, and he he talks a
Speaker 1: lot about and he does it with this. I knew
Speaker 1: it kind of missed to his to his tone about
Speaker 1: the male politicians who fight and lobby in Congress and
Speaker 1: in the Senate for pro anti choice laws to happen
Speaker 1: and for trap laws to be made, have a history
Speaker 1: that anybody could look up on the Internet and and
Speaker 1: find evidence of of of trying to persuade their mistresses
Speaker 1: to get an abortion because they got them pregnant. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I mean, if that don't make me want
Speaker 1: to fucking beat my head against the wall, I don't
Speaker 1: know what, Like, I just don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: where to channel that rage. It's just it's it's just
Speaker 1: like people are constantly just distracting from their own the
Speaker 1: problems in their own personal lives, and when it's they're
Speaker 1: making their saying that, like when a man is making
Speaker 1: his thing, I'm gonna stand up for women who are
Speaker 1: sexually her else you got kids in your basement, bitch,
Speaker 1: you got fucking you don't have any respect. I don't
Speaker 1: trust women. I just don't trust fucking liar trust these
Speaker 1: people at all. So just don't trust anyone, I think
Speaker 1: is what we learned from a news segments. Hey, today's
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Speaker 1: We are in Providence, East Providence, Rhode Island at Comedy Connection.
Speaker 1: We got two shows, right, I'm pretty sure, Yeah, yeah, shine, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just making sure, uh, you know, doing a
Speaker 1: little check. So come in and go to sorry about
Speaker 1: last night comedy dot com slash tours For all the
Speaker 1: other dates, we have a shipload of dates coming up.
Speaker 1: We are going to be in places like Washington, d C.
Speaker 1: And Dallas, Texas where at the ad is an improv
Speaker 1: And those dates aren't on the website yet because I
Speaker 1: keep checking. I am on top of it, and so
Speaker 1: they're just not available. But they will become available and
Speaker 1: we're very excited. If you live in Chicago, Illinois, very important.
Speaker 1: Monday May one, at seven pm, I will be filming
Speaker 1: a portion of my stand up comedy routine for a
Speaker 1: TV show taping and tickets I'm pretty sure are free,
Speaker 1: and I need you to come out and support because
Speaker 1: I only got like five minutes crowd on my side,
Speaker 1: But if the crowd is you guys, then I feel
Speaker 1: comfortable as buck. So I'm on the seven pm Early Show,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to include the link to get tickets
Speaker 1: in the description of today's episode, and it's probably gonna
Speaker 1: be on my social media, is there. I just h
Speaker 1: it didn't say that on the link. I think when
Speaker 1: you reserve the ticket, it'll tell you it's somewhere in Chicago.
Speaker 1: It's in a loft and you have to talk to
Speaker 1: a troll at the door. You need a password or
Speaker 1: I don't know. We'll figure it out together. And then
Speaker 1: Friday five, New York City, that's the monthly edition of
Speaker 1: Nacho Bitches. You're doing back to back. That's oh, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. And then uh, and it's gonna be
Speaker 1: co hosted by you know, somebody, probably Rosebud Baker, where
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just calling people and it's either Rosebud
Speaker 1: or Justin Perez every time. They're both phenomenal and make
Speaker 1: me laugh my ass off. Um. I think Vonda Carlo
Speaker 1: is gonna be on that show if she's back in town,
Speaker 1: because she's also filming the same TV thing. And uh,
Speaker 1: I probably couldn't have said that on air. Who cares?
Speaker 1: And then I'm getting on an airplane and I'm going
Speaker 1: to Los Angeles. Guys. I'm not going to Los Angeles
Speaker 1: to do ten thousand shows. I'm really going to kind
Speaker 1: of go because it's a place that I know. But
Speaker 1: I can go by myself and like have a retreat.
Speaker 1: But I am going to do one show. I'm doing
Speaker 1: one show, one show only. No one can convince me
Speaker 1: to do any other shows. I'm saying this out loud.
Speaker 1: Mo sleep so I can hold myself to what I
Speaker 1: said because I really really really need a vacation badly. Um,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do Nacho Bitches with Blair because Blair
Speaker 1: now lives in Los Angeles. It's gonna be one day
Speaker 1: that weekend, probably Saturday, but hey, it might be Sunday.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just follow me on social media at
Speaker 1: Philanthropy Gal. I'll post as soon as I know. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be one show, Nacho Bitches l a the line.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be amazing. Blair will be there, I will
Speaker 1: be there, and that's the only time you're gonna see
Speaker 1: me in Los Angeles. And after that, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: fucking m I A uh, that's you do you do
Speaker 1: you bitch um Saturday, June two pm. That is the
Speaker 1: June Glama Pus at SINC Bar, hosted by myself and
Speaker 1: when he's starling. Last month was the Ship and it
Speaker 1: was great and we sell out, so get tickets now.
Speaker 1: And I love you all, but you have to be
Speaker 1: twenty one enough for this one. And then if you
Speaker 1: don't live in any of these places and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I need more of Karena Christina, and
Speaker 1: I just like can't handle it, and I'm like sending
Speaker 1: so many crying face emoji's. Guys, I have a podcast,
Speaker 1: two Less Lonely Girls. It's thirty Minutes or less. It
Speaker 1: comes out every Monday. It streams on Spotify. It's free
Speaker 1: on iTunes. You guys have been giving us so much
Speaker 1: love and support. We're charting great, and we're finding out insane,
Speaker 1: insane facts about Bieber, like we are six episodes in
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber's mom Patty Milllette already listens. I've had secret
Speaker 1: meetings with believers. I am getting like a top secret
Speaker 1: information and I am so fucking jazzed about this. So
Speaker 1: thank you for that, and this is like, you're so
Speaker 1: good at this skill. I'm so excited. But also like
Speaker 1: just like celebrity pop culture and like figuring it out
Speaker 1: that no one else knows, Like childhood Home. I was like, damn, girl,
Speaker 1: you got a gift. I love a mystery. I well,
Speaker 1: if I wasn't, if I wasn't in this business, one
Speaker 1: of the things I wanted to do is become an
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Speaker 1: Galaxy toothpaste that cressmakes that you have when you were local,
Speaker 1: like the Space toothpaste that Space taste better. And I
Speaker 1: eat the dinosaur a Quaker oatmeal with the eggs a
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Speaker 1: your Instagram stories and like you also like lunchables. I
Speaker 1: was like, you have the palette of a six year
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Speaker 1: feel certain ways about them. I love a good wipe
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Speaker 1: I know that. When I was thinking more like I
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Speaker 1: very I'm gonna try that. I like it to be
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Speaker 1: just having that it's just it's a whole new world.
Speaker 1: It is nice. It feels like a whole new world, Karin.
Speaker 1: And you know, I got a lot on my mind.
Speaker 1: I got a lot on my mind. So you told me, Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: but you didn't tell me these stories. No, I some
Speaker 1: notes here? Yeah, well yeah, so a lot you know,
Speaker 1: the breakup episode, obviously I knew it was going to
Speaker 1: get some type of reaction and reaction thank you to
Speaker 1: everybody who's very nice and said nice things. That's very nice.
Speaker 1: Surprisingly a lot of nice out. Yeah, and um you know,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, never gonna be clear of those. Yeah, exactly true.
Speaker 1: So um overall very good and uh And I know
Speaker 1: you you've been saying and you've said this a lot
Speaker 1: like on the podcast and in private like how like
Speaker 1: I always give Steven like positive pr R and uh,
Speaker 1: And that's true I do on this podcast and part
Speaker 1: a lot of it is out of respect. I don't
Speaker 1: want to trash talk somebody, you know, I just it
Speaker 1: just feels county, like for no reason. I mean, also
Speaker 1: just not saying anything, which is the Andy Warhol approach,
Speaker 1: and then we just have to like be like, guess
Speaker 1: is terrible, right, right, right right? But you know, so
Speaker 1: I feel like I did a good job of of,
Speaker 1: you know, not really saying anything shitty because obviously there
Speaker 1: were reasons beyond I need to do me that uh,
Speaker 1: that you know went into my decision. And um, and
Speaker 1: so Stephen got an apartment, which I was so excited about,
Speaker 1: but I was also very sad, like every new stage
Speaker 1: of this is like a new crime. I get crime direct,
Speaker 1: of course, and uh, and you know, he found a place.
Speaker 1: I was so excited, and it's in one of his
Speaker 1: favorite neighborhoods and it was perfectly priced for him. It
Speaker 1: was one bed. I'm like, this is so fucking dope, dude, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you, and he's like yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we we I went and I saw his apartment.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to see it, and he was okay
Speaker 1: with that. He was like, yeah, yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1: It was so because I'm really good with like here's
Speaker 1: how to save space and stuff, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: and I was like, if you want me to come over,
Speaker 1: I would love to, But if you don't, I totally
Speaker 1: get it. Um, why is that dumb? You need to separate?
Speaker 1: I know, I just get Christina diggerized. Tell me, I
Speaker 1: got to hear this as it as it as it
Speaker 1: comes out of my mouth, because I am not I
Speaker 1: don't got a good radar. First when it comes out
Speaker 1: of my that's too helpful. Yeah, well my fucking gift
Speaker 1: card to the container store and let him handle it.
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. I know. That's why I'm saying
Speaker 1: these things out loud because I need to hear that.
Speaker 1: It's also I know we sounded mean, but like I
Speaker 1: also know a lot more than you guys know. She
Speaker 1: just gets up on that and uh but we had
Speaker 1: a great, you know, good convo. And he asked me, uh,
Speaker 1: have you been made out with anybody yet? And I
Speaker 1: was like yeah, yeah, and he's like, oh go. I'm
Speaker 1: like okay, but like you downplay that I know, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, god, damn it. Protecting. But that's also a
Speaker 1: weird question for him to ask, you know, but that
Speaker 1: I want to know if he made out with anybody,
Speaker 1: and he said no, and I was like, okay, But
Speaker 1: then I'm I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm talking
Speaker 1: this out, so I don't really okay. He said, well, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't make out with anybody, and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: then what you do you fucking obviously you're hinting at
Speaker 1: something someone. I just fisted and I stole him. Queenst
Speaker 1: them no mouth touching, he goes, there was. The fans
Speaker 1: were very supportive. Oh, I know I actually have something
Speaker 1: to add onto this. Yeah, go ahead. A bunch of
Speaker 1: them DM me. You guys are one of them wanted
Speaker 1: a sex. These guys are fucking unbelievable. Do you have
Speaker 1: to say it's it really is a podcast for horse
Speaker 1: I'm furious. Well, okay, I am, I am, I am.
Speaker 1: I am telling the listeners right now. I am unpacking
Speaker 1: this like because I'm talking because I don't know how
Speaker 1: I feel about it ongoing issue. I feel there was
Speaker 1: a pitter patter in my heart. The corpse dry Y's week,
Speaker 1: your motherfucker's the stench of the fucking corpse. Leave the
Speaker 1: goddamn fear come to mind? Are if you come to
Speaker 1: our shows. I feel like you're my best friend. But
Speaker 1: friend tries to fun and now hear me out though,
Speaker 1: this is why this is a complicated thing, an apartment.
Speaker 1: This is why women can't help each other. I was
Speaker 1: fucking infuriated. I was fucking infuriates up because I had
Speaker 1: forgotten my fury. I breathed it out. Sorry, I know
Speaker 1: it's good, but I but I'm I'm honestly, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to I'm really crush it, Like I'm really crushing the whole,
Speaker 1: like you know, take put better habits in your life
Speaker 1: and figure shelf out, and like I'm really excited for
Speaker 1: this journey. But I am and uh. And one of
Speaker 1: the things about this the fury, that that that that
Speaker 1: swelled through my veins as he was when he was
Speaker 1: telling me this. I mean, it's it's a little I
Speaker 1: I did ask, but I'm like, I could keep that private.
Speaker 1: It seems like he asked so that he so that
Speaker 1: he could tell him that this country move too, and
Speaker 1: I knew that was gonna happen. Oh me too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but and I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's fucked up.
Speaker 1: It is sucked up. The same thing happened to James,
Speaker 1: and I asked James because I specifically I specifically asked
Speaker 1: him because he knows. Because also there's been some weird
Speaker 1: things that have happened in the past, and like, no
Speaker 1: matter what's happening with me and James as far as
Speaker 1: like relationship stuff, we were always very close friends to
Speaker 1: this day. I literally watched a comedy show sitting next
Speaker 1: to him yesterday and like, and it's so funny to
Speaker 1: me that, like James is gonna come right back and
Speaker 1: tell me, and like we're gonna make fun of all
Speaker 1: of you who are doing this bond. Uh, we have
Speaker 1: no mercy um and Stephen don't have that one. I
Speaker 1: wish that that bond is. That's a good one. But
Speaker 1: it's to me, it's harder in a way because like
Speaker 1: we're still are we're still so con acted and like
Speaker 1: there's nothing bad to be like, oh remember when he
Speaker 1: did this one bad thing to you, and like there's
Speaker 1: none I don't have that. It's just but it's so
Speaker 1: it's just like my thoughts are, like there are so
Speaker 1: many men in the world, what level, like what that
Speaker 1: your priorities in order? And I feel bad. That was
Speaker 1: part of my fury but this is also a thought
Speaker 1: in my head, and I can't tell if this is
Speaker 1: me just it's just sucking Christina given everybody the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt and not being able to make up
Speaker 1: a fucking mind and have an opinion about something. But
Speaker 1: one of the conversations that he had with a listener
Speaker 1: of this podcast was a woman who I mean, I
Speaker 1: really really gave him some great pr that like, like
Speaker 1: just what I said about him, I I feel like
Speaker 1: it's and and and and there's part of me that goes, oh,
Speaker 1: I know the other side of it, God damn it,
Speaker 1: Like he does whatever anyway. But also I mean I
Speaker 1: think people know, like if people don't realize that by
Speaker 1: now that you paint things like a little bit nicer
Speaker 1: than they are and they really don't know you that well.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, paint things worse than they are together,
Speaker 1: they don't get that part. That's not that's not your response. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also you know this this one of the girls.
Speaker 1: I didn't see these d m s and I don't
Speaker 1: but like he's going to get annoyed probably like I
Speaker 1: talked about, but but it's really I really want Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't give a funk, right, now, and I really
Speaker 1: want to. I'm so interested in how I feel about
Speaker 1: this because she was, like I guess had dated scumbag
Speaker 1: like ship bag dudes and never was able to talk
Speaker 1: to a guy, and she just wanted to like sex
Speaker 1: with a stranger, but that she knew wasn't gonna be
Speaker 1: a piece of ship in the way that like when
Speaker 1: you go to a bar, you there's no guarantee that
Speaker 1: the person you're going to talk to was in the
Speaker 1: biggest piece of ship. I love this stop story so far,
Speaker 1: but I understand that, and I'm not like I. I
Speaker 1: do want him to go out and get new experiences.
Speaker 1: I'm truly because I have flipped up with somebody and
Speaker 1: and but after this, I don't want him to come
Speaker 1: on the podcast because I don't want It's kind of
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is sucked up, but I
Speaker 1: actually didn't even think you would when you told me no,
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't know. I don't want to
Speaker 1: ask him. I feel like it's rude to ask him
Speaker 1: because now I don't want to. I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know soon you don't want to make it everything
Speaker 1: is yeah, exactly that too, but but also like beyond
Speaker 1: that part of me is like I don't want people
Speaker 1: to go and try and fun, like I really like
Speaker 1: this guy, Like I know it's weird to like somebody,
Speaker 1: but you know, or I have a crush on him,
Speaker 1: but regardless, I just it's precious to me, even though
Speaker 1: it's just like a hook up thing, you know, and
Speaker 1: I don't want bitch is sliding into his d M
Speaker 1: like you know. Then but then you know when we
Speaker 1: say when uh, a boyfriend cheats with another girl and
Speaker 1: then the chick gets mad at the girl, and it's like,
Speaker 1: that's not the person you should get mad at, even
Speaker 1: if the girl knew, even if I'm mad at all parties,
Speaker 1: but we have that I'm mad at the guy. We
Speaker 1: haven't a different level of okay, no, it depends how
Speaker 1: Steven responded. We have but that but I don't blame him, right,
Speaker 1: But we have a different we have a different relationship.
Speaker 1: This is not just like a random girl that we
Speaker 1: don't know, as is most of the things that we're
Speaker 1: talking about. These are people that we that we do
Speaker 1: have a relationship with as far as like their fans.
Speaker 1: And I would never do this to like Victoria Beckham,
Speaker 1: like if so this is this is a high level
Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's a power hungry fucking movie. Victorious
Speaker 1: Little and David Beckham broke up. David Beckham is so hot.
Speaker 1: And if for some reason David David Beckham took a
Speaker 1: lot of drugs and looked saw my Instagram and was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's on par with Victoria Beckham and then d m
Speaker 1: me like that, I would not make that move, even
Speaker 1: though David Beckham is the most incredibly attractive person. But
Speaker 1: morals with that respect, your morals are intact than anybody
Speaker 1: else I know better. But it's like also, but like
Speaker 1: it was that, it was a different reverse. It's just
Speaker 1: like there. The thing is, there's just so many people
Speaker 1: in the world. Why are you doing this? Why are
Speaker 1: you doing this? Guys? It's really really it's really frustrating,
Speaker 1: and it's and I love the song I want to
Speaker 1: give myself. I want to love that story. But it's like,
Speaker 1: there are other people in the world, and if you
Speaker 1: can't find someone apart from the two week old ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend seven years with the podcast that you love and
Speaker 1: respect that has hopefully made your life better than the
Speaker 1: problem is you and I am not like I am
Speaker 1: furious right now. Yeah, I think because James of course
Speaker 1: was like yeah, he's like I got He's like, I
Speaker 1: got the d MS and I was like, what did
Speaker 1: you say? He was like, he was like, I didn't
Speaker 1: do anything. I just said like thanks for whatever. And
Speaker 1: I was like okay, because I was like he was like,
Speaker 1: he's like rin. And also we need to have room
Speaker 1: to be I'm like, I need to give myself room
Speaker 1: to be like a little county about this because I'm
Speaker 1: fucking mad. It's not You're not being county though. This
Speaker 1: is these are fucking humane. This is just humane existence
Speaker 1: that women so often do not have one for each other.
Speaker 1: And I feel like I can get on a fucking
Speaker 1: soapbox for a certain amount of time because I haven't
Speaker 1: done anything shitty in this respect to a woman for
Speaker 1: a long ass time. Yea, in a long ass time,
Speaker 1: because I constantly think of like I really really would
Speaker 1: how would I feel if that was me? How I feel?
Speaker 1: And I ask and I asked the women that d
Speaker 1: M James and the d M Stephen, I just I
Speaker 1: beg of you to just ponder. You don't got to
Speaker 1: email us because I really don't want to hear from you,
Speaker 1: but just ponder, like they're not David Back, I mean
Speaker 1: they're I mean, you know they're both great people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean no, no, they are, They're there, they have
Speaker 1: they're great quality. I mean, like every fucking person, I
Speaker 1: can be great and I could be not great. Like
Speaker 1: it's it's fine. But my point is, please think, because
Speaker 1: this is what I do. Please think how would I
Speaker 1: feel if I were in Christina or Karne shoes right now?
Speaker 1: How would it make me? How would I feel if
Speaker 1: my boyfriend that I I broke up with him? Don't
Speaker 1: fucking bread that fucking flag around as a reason to
Speaker 1: do it. It doesn't make it. That doesn't make it,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, make it not, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that. Like he's like, he's like, he's like,
Speaker 1: you have so many fans that are all like young women,
Speaker 1: and I go, number one, you should be diating people. Two,
Speaker 1: And then I followed up with but I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like if one day, you know, because actually
Speaker 1: the girl he was dating before he did me as
Speaker 1: a fan of the podcast. So it's like if I'm
Speaker 1: saying I'm not saying that you can never if you
Speaker 1: ever comes up on a date that someone listens to
Speaker 1: the Guys We podcast that you should feel weird. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, right, of course, corpse breathe. I mean,
Speaker 1: God damn, can't you let a bit let a corpse breathe?
Speaker 1: I mean, what was it? Six days? Get a hold
Speaker 1: of yourself, and and and and get and I know
Speaker 1: about because I and I and the reason I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm I this is a part of it is
Speaker 1: because I understand being attracted to this. But like, there's
Speaker 1: so weird. But like the fact that we made our
Speaker 1: lives public is very weird. We really didn't think it
Speaker 1: was to listen to goddamn podcast. And uh, and now
Speaker 1: you said last week about you want to protect you
Speaker 1: protected certain details about you and James because you just
Speaker 1: didn't when the when, the when when? Just even if
Speaker 1: it's a small amount of people that give you ship
Speaker 1: for dating, it's gonna stick with you where it's just
Speaker 1: very it's so disappointing. It's so disappointing. And when you
Speaker 1: get gudge and gudge um, and when you read, like,
Speaker 1: for example, four emails in a row, even if it's
Speaker 1: four out of half a million emails, when you're just
Speaker 1: like god, damn it. I'm gonna put a wall up
Speaker 1: because this feels bad, and I gave you a nugget
Speaker 1: of my life. I don't. It just feels a little
Speaker 1: like a betrayal a little bit, and and I want
Speaker 1: Stephen to go out there and fucking like, just live
Speaker 1: it up, baby, live it up. But damn, that's rude.
Speaker 1: Yes it is. I agree, you're not that. None of
Speaker 1: that is that online in my opinion, which is right. Hey,
Speaker 1: we're having fun. I don't care. And another thing, well,
Speaker 1: I have one more thing that's like random, it's kind
Speaker 1: of silly sex. I do see, I see, sorry, I saw,
Speaker 1: I see the note. Yes, spitting on the dick, okay,
Speaker 1: so my my clothes. Did you do it? No, because
Speaker 1: you get man, you cannot spit on a dick when
Speaker 1: you've been smoking weed. Because I was like, I've spent
Speaker 1: on lots of dicks. I love spitting on dick. I
Speaker 1: didn't know a lot of guys like when you spit
Speaker 1: on the dick because it's don't you. I like when
Speaker 1: people spit in my vagina too. I don't like that
Speaker 1: because it's I like when they spit on their hands. Well,
Speaker 1: it's extra moisture. I mean, some guys don't have a
Speaker 1: good spitting technique. But if you know how to spit
Speaker 1: without like it feeling like you're spinning chewing tobacco onto
Speaker 1: the baseball field, yeah, then it does feel good, but
Speaker 1: you need to know how to do it. But then
Speaker 1: this person and then how do you dirty talk while
Speaker 1: you spit on a dick and then you suck it?
Speaker 1: That is so many activity. It's like it's like rubbing
Speaker 1: your stomach while patting your head while riding a unicide.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't spit and talk at the same time,
Speaker 1: so don't try to do that. I know. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you just like slide up their boy like their
Speaker 1: torso and into their ear and say, I'm gonna spit
Speaker 1: on your fucking dick, and then you slide down and
Speaker 1: then you spit on your on their dick and then
Speaker 1: you put in your mouth or in your virgina. You
Speaker 1: don't make a hawking sound obviously that's not hot. But
Speaker 1: like just like like a like a like a I'll
Speaker 1: spit in my hand. This is gross. I gonna do
Speaker 1: it for you, thank you. That's the sound it should make.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do it this spit now,
Speaker 1: I guess I put on this shirt that I'm wearing.
Speaker 1: I'm at my house. Whatever, who cares, I've given up.
Speaker 1: But that's the sound that should make because sometimes okay,
Speaker 1: sometimes I know they do it. Yeah, it's like it's
Speaker 1: like like what are you doing when you have smoked
Speaker 1: weed and you have dry mouth? It's like wait one second,
Speaker 1: just just stay right there and stay right there. You know,
Speaker 1: what do you got loop? I need loop, like you
Speaker 1: can also keep I keep a glass of ice water
Speaker 1: next to the because I will help like loop up
Speaker 1: your mouth. Your mouth sometimes needs loop too, because I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't smoke weed, but I like dry mouth is
Speaker 1: a bit. It's a filthy misty. I getn't when I
Speaker 1: get nervous on stage, I get really bad drying moth.
Speaker 1: So I just always have like prepped with something. That's
Speaker 1: just reminded me of when I was in high school.
Speaker 1: Some fucking chick told me that, like if you crash
Speaker 1: up in ice keeping your mouth and suck a boy's dick,
Speaker 1: like really like it. Oh that does feel good. It
Speaker 1: does a good. You got a warm though you don't
Speaker 1: want to. Yeah, there, It depends what your relationship is
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like I should have the second time.
Speaker 1: Sorry Greg, Um, but yeah, it's it's fun. It's also
Speaker 1: like a more higher level move, so like high school
Speaker 1: boys and like might not be into it yet. Not
Speaker 1: that we're sucking. This is we're talking about when I
Speaker 1: was in high school, when we were in high school.
Speaker 1: We haven't we haven't gotten you've gotten anyone sitting m um? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean not really this guy. I had that last
Speaker 1: time when I broke up, when me and Frank broke up,
Speaker 1: I had like the entire comedy community slid into my
Speaker 1: d M s this. I mean, there's a couple of people,
Speaker 1: but I think also, um, it's just I've just been
Speaker 1: putting different vibes out there this time. I've already liked done,
Speaker 1: I've done that. This is a different phase for me.
Speaker 1: I want to I want to. I want a hope phase. Well,
Speaker 1: why did people sign it into your d M. Well, uh,
Speaker 1: some that didn't make me want the hophas I wanted
Speaker 1: the hop PHAs regardless of that. But like X is well,
Speaker 1: because this is the first time you've been single in
Speaker 1: a long time, and especially as a comedian, so it's different.
Speaker 1: If this is a time for me. The state I've
Speaker 1: never been single doing stand up comedy. Yeah, I've kind
Speaker 1: of sucked all the stand ups I need to unless
Speaker 1: anyone was trying to get into the stand up so
Speaker 1: you guys are interested, or if anyone wants to do
Speaker 1: an open mind, I mean, I can point you to
Speaker 1: the bad level sounding board, you know, one drink minimum um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, so yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's also weird having my ex be like a comedian
Speaker 1: who's like still like around that you see. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but is it is it weird in a sad way,
Speaker 1: We're in a bad way, we're in a good way,
Speaker 1: weird in a well, you know what, at least we
Speaker 1: can be corgious all of the above. Yeah, it's yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so many feelings. I have so many feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of It's it's that eight layer nacho
Speaker 1: dip of feelings and that's fun. I just need to
Speaker 1: go and like have like a fucking like go sit
Speaker 1: by a zen. You're going to have the best time
Speaker 1: in l A. I just need to really, you know,
Speaker 1: and you know, Alfred's here, what I was dealing with.
Speaker 1: Alfred Hill conjunctivite us. So my poor baby. UM So,
Speaker 1: the story I wanted to tell is, like I wasn't
Speaker 1: sure if I wanted to tell us on this because
Speaker 1: we have such a large platform here and I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to trash talk people. But something happened last night
Speaker 1: as far as like comedy wise that I was just
Speaker 1: truly repulsed by and very hurt because it was someone
Speaker 1: who I've talked about for like minutes and minutes and
Speaker 1: minutes on this podcast about how much I love her
Speaker 1: and her work. Um and I you know, know her,
Speaker 1: I knew her personally for a while. We I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that we know each other anymore, um, but we
Speaker 1: used to know each other. And um. So last night
Speaker 1: I went to see Brendan Sagalow, you guys have heard
Speaker 1: on the Guys We podcast do his Caroline's Breakout series,
Speaker 1: which he was talking about, and actually, you know, one
Speaker 1: of the main reasons he wanted to come on Guys,
Speaker 1: We fought at the time that he came on was
Speaker 1: to promote this really important thing that's a big deal.
Speaker 1: Caroline is a great club. So Caroline's on Broadway is
Speaker 1: a legendary comedy club, in the Time Square area, and
Speaker 1: they have this thing called a Breakout Series, which is
Speaker 1: where young comedians basically headline a legendary club for the
Speaker 1: first time on their own. It's a huge deal. Friends.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you get this huge poster. So cool. All
Speaker 1: your friends and family come out to see you, no
Speaker 1: matter where they're from there, you know, taking you know,
Speaker 1: driving in, taking planes and in some cases it's just
Speaker 1: it's a really really big deal and kind of like
Speaker 1: a real milestone in the life of a comedian. So
Speaker 1: I was there Rosebud was opening, uh you know, m
Speaker 1: Ken was on the show, and I was just there
Speaker 1: just to kind of support my friends. And Brendan is
Speaker 1: a wonderful comedian and he's young and he has he's
Speaker 1: just so he's so talented and I am and I
Speaker 1: am like, wow, I wish I was that talented when
Speaker 1: I was as young as him. Um, but you know,
Speaker 1: I was probably black out in a elevator in Atlantic
Speaker 1: you gotta do. So we all have different paths. But
Speaker 1: and so he's maybe you know, five to seven minutes
Speaker 1: into what is going to be like a forty five
Speaker 1: minutes set on stage, and he's doing great, and it's wonderful.
Speaker 1: I'm just so excited. I just love watching my friends
Speaker 1: fucking like Nail. They do best. Like it's really nice
Speaker 1: to her a very big night. Yeah, he's a he's
Speaker 1: a good person. He worked so hard for this, so
Speaker 1: hard for this. And all of a sudden, uh, I
Speaker 1: hear from the crowd, Hey, Brendan, it's me Amy Schumer.
Speaker 1: Can I do ten minutes? So any stand up? Yes,
Speaker 1: she just walked into the walked into the crowd, and
Speaker 1: of course he's like, you know, number one, you're like
Speaker 1: taking it back. And I even gasped audibly because I
Speaker 1: was just like, you know, it's even for me as
Speaker 1: a comedian, it's like an exciting thing to do. You're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. What. And so she gets on stage
Speaker 1: and um, everyone's kind of like, what's happening here because
Speaker 1: it's like normally, like if it's a regular audience, everyone
Speaker 1: would be like, oh my god. But I've never seen
Speaker 1: someone set be interrupted. It's just not a thing I've
Speaker 1: ever seen in my life that is a comedy code.
Speaker 1: I've never even heard of a violation that is near
Speaker 1: that for the comedy code, you know, it's like bro
Speaker 1: code or whatever. And so she gets on stage and
Speaker 1: she kind of explains that she, you know, she's hosting
Speaker 1: SNL this Saturday, and she's like prepping her monologue whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: So we're watching We're watching it, and I'm just getting furious,
Speaker 1: like my friend d you was that our friend was there,
Speaker 1: and she's like she sees, she goes, I see the
Speaker 1: Jersey coming out with you, coming out from you, because
Speaker 1: she's also from Jersey. That's crossing a line. I mean.
Speaker 1: And you know me, like, for as angry as I
Speaker 1: am at like humanity, I actually very rarely like blow
Speaker 1: up at people. I don't think I've ever seen you.
Speaker 1: I really try to keep it because it's like once
Speaker 1: I go, I'm gonna go hard, and I really just
Speaker 1: try to breathe it out. Where is this person coming from?
Speaker 1: All these fucking techniques that I fucking we've taught each
Speaker 1: each other on the God's Damn podcast, and so I
Speaker 1: am bloying. I couldn't even enjoy comedy the comedy Sunday morning.
Speaker 1: I can barely watch her jokes because I'm just sucking
Speaker 1: in furious, like furious. James is sitting next to me,
Speaker 1: He's fucking furious. I'm like, I start shaking because I'm
Speaker 1: so fucking mad that she's doing this to my friend.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, I'm just like fucking I'm pissed.
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, I just like talked about how great
Speaker 1: your movie was, and I was like, this is so
Speaker 1: and so I and then I started getting mad. I
Speaker 1: was like, how could a legendary comedy club like fucking
Speaker 1: Caroline let this happen? They well, I know the whole story.
Speaker 1: And then so I go back to the green room
Speaker 1: and I start talking to everybody and I'm get more
Speaker 1: details about what happened, and so I know there was
Speaker 1: people at every point, comedians that I love and respect,
Speaker 1: and I know that I'm not bullshiting me. So apparently
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer just like walks down into the club. The
Speaker 1: hostess at Carolines love this con because she doesn't recognize literally,
Speaker 1: like literally Carlin could come back from the dead and
Speaker 1: walking and she'd be like, do you have a reservation?
Speaker 1: Or I love this cont um So she doesn't know
Speaker 1: who Amy Schumer is when she walks in, which is
Speaker 1: a great quality to having a hostess at a comedy club.
Speaker 1: And so Amy she like it's me and she's like,
Speaker 1: is the manager here. So she talks to the manager
Speaker 1: and she's like, I just want to do it ten
Speaker 1: minutes and the manager goes, well, you can't. There's someone
Speaker 1: here who's the headliner is already on stage doing their
Speaker 1: breakout series. And she goes, I know, but I'm Amy Schumer.
Speaker 1: And the managers like, well, no, no, no, I know.
Speaker 1: I'm not like the hostess like I have facial but
Speaker 1: I have facial recognition, you know. Um, so like like
Speaker 1: an iPhone would have recognized that it was fucking Amy Schumer.
Speaker 1: And this host is just like, um, is this is this? Butter?
Speaker 1: Do you have a resturation? And she's just crazy and
Speaker 1: so Amy Schumer then goes into the into the showroom
Speaker 1: and starts talking to a couple of other comics who
Speaker 1: had been opening for Brendan and like gets and pretends
Speaker 1: to be friendly and like it gets details from like,
Speaker 1: oh do you guys know who this is? Turns out
Speaker 1: she actually follows him on Instagram because you have this
Speaker 1: calling Quinn impersonation he does, And so she's like and
Speaker 1: so she's fucking chatting um with them, and she's and
Speaker 1: like finds out his name and like and like some
Speaker 1: details about him and then goes on and uses that
Speaker 1: information against against him, going in and saying and that's
Speaker 1: how she learned his name, so she could call out
Speaker 1: to him in the middle of his fucking set and go, Brendan,
Speaker 1: it's me Amy Schumer. Can I do ten minutes? So
Speaker 1: she just walked and everyone said no, but she to
Speaker 1: herself is that a point where she can do it?
Speaker 1: And I don't. I don't know if this people can
Speaker 1: understand how bad this is like not being a comedian,
Speaker 1: but the level of disrespect, and it's like number one,
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer is very popular and very accomplished, and I
Speaker 1: really do like her comedy. It's gonna be hard men
Speaker 1: like her after this because this was a ship ball movement.
Speaker 1: This is not just catching like I understand, like everyone
Speaker 1: has a celebrity story or everyone celebrity has a has
Speaker 1: an instance where they're not their best to catch them
Speaker 1: on a bad day. Sell well, they're asking for you know,
Speaker 1: they're asking for an autograph, whatever, someone's a little snippy
Speaker 1: to you. But this was like this was a thought
Speaker 1: out at so many steps of saying nothing matters to
Speaker 1: me anymore, communism matter. I don't respect this as an
Speaker 1: art form. I have reached a level where I just
Speaker 1: do whatever the funk I want, whenever the funk I want.
Speaker 1: And it was disgusting. I am so fucking pissed because
Speaker 1: it's like, God damn it, why couldn't it be someone
Speaker 1: I didn't like, because then it would have been great
Speaker 1: hate on this terrible person anyway, Like, why couldn't a
Speaker 1: Roseanne walked in and pulled this goddamn ship. You know,
Speaker 1: I've got to be someone that I fucking like. I
Speaker 1: was so mad, I'm so many. I was mad for
Speaker 1: my friend. I was mad that this was someone who
Speaker 1: had been fucking rooting for for years and years, just
Speaker 1: like it was so excited as as as I mean,
Speaker 1: I hate saying the female comic, but like as a woman,
Speaker 1: it's like so exciting to see these like somebody who's
Speaker 1: been crushing it and working her ass off and then
Speaker 1: she like plugs her film and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is Brendan's family, they don't care. I was so my god,
Speaker 1: I was so mad. And it's not like she fucking
Speaker 1: interrupted and then crushed. It was just like because these
Speaker 1: people weren't These were not tour us off the street
Speaker 1: looking for something fun to happen. This was there to
Speaker 1: support their friend or family members. And it's also like
Speaker 1: and it's literally the one show on the fucking the
Speaker 1: whole island of Manhattan that you don't interrupt. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's just like she you know, there's so many other clubs.
Speaker 1: She could have taken a cap to another fucking club,
Speaker 1: come back in twenty minutes, and everyone would be so
Speaker 1: happy to see her clothes out the show. There's a
Speaker 1: million of the ways that could have been executed, like
Speaker 1: in a in a in a kind way. And also
Speaker 1: she's just not that at the status like I'm like
Speaker 1: a legendary comedian like um, like a Signfeld or Chris
Speaker 1: Rock I think could have done that. But as we
Speaker 1: discussed outside, because all the comedians were piste and like
Speaker 1: banded together one more piss a legendary comedian would have
Speaker 1: never have done that. And that's what separates someone with
Speaker 1: fucking class is someone who's a flash in the pant
Speaker 1: And I am so pissed and I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: fuck it, start a beef with Amy Shuman. That's the
Speaker 1: last goddamn damn thing I want. It's not this is
Speaker 1: not worth my time. I don't want anyone fucking writing
Speaker 1: blogs like podcast your Corean Fusier calls out Amy Schumer.
Speaker 1: This just I and I was like, what can I
Speaker 1: what can I positive can I take from this fucking story? Well,
Speaker 1: I number one fucking follow Brendan Sagalow on all social media.
Speaker 1: He's a wonderful comedian and I've never seen him fucking
Speaker 1: disrupt anyone set, So number one do that because he
Speaker 1: deserves like five thousand millions of social media followers for this.
Speaker 1: And then secondly, it's just a nice reminder as someone
Speaker 1: who is in the entertainment business. And you know what,
Speaker 1: I will be lucky if I'm ever as successful as
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer. But even if I'm just like one one
Speaker 1: thousand as successful of Amy Schumer. Uh, it's a reminder
Speaker 1: that will be forever ingrained in my memory as a
Speaker 1: way not to act. I will I have to that
Speaker 1: will love. That will be a living memory of how
Speaker 1: I felt and how angry I was, and how what
Speaker 1: a dis respect to my friend that was, with a
Speaker 1: disrespect to the art of comedy that was like ant
Speaker 1: for this for so long and like I'm just looking
Speaker 1: at his Instagram now. By the way, it's Brendan Sagalow
Speaker 1: s A G A l Ow on Instagram just as
Speaker 1: a as a act of solidarity, because I want a
Speaker 1: solidarity with women with men, just like comedians, someone who's
Speaker 1: out there fucking doing what they do best and it's
Speaker 1: really good at their job and it's really worked hard.
Speaker 1: It was just so and heart he handled I was
Speaker 1: more mad. I think I was more mad than because
Speaker 1: he handled it with such fucking class. He got back
Speaker 1: on the stage. He just posted about it and he
Speaker 1: didn't even mention the Schumer thing. No, he well, he
Speaker 1: talks about it on his podcast, which is what is
Speaker 1: it called, shitty little podcast. Yeah, dumb little little little podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sorry, we're gonna look it up and give
Speaker 1: it information. But he talks about on the Ledges episode
Speaker 1: of that, so definitely check that out. But he also
Speaker 1: he gets back on stage the stupid little podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: So he gets back on the stage after she does,
Speaker 1: you know, her ten minutes about tampons or whatever it was,
Speaker 1: and he goes, wow, I was just me too by
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer. He he goes, I was comedy me too,
Speaker 1: and he that is exactly nailed it, because it's like No,
Speaker 1: it wasn't sexual assault. And I certainly don't want to
Speaker 1: say interrupting someone's stage time is on the same level
Speaker 1: as being ripe. That's not what we're saying. But it
Speaker 1: was a thing where someone is in a position of
Speaker 1: power and is told no and knows it's the wrong
Speaker 1: thing to do, but then just goes ahead and just
Speaker 1: whatever the funk they want. And what's even more infuriating
Speaker 1: is that her sister is her, and her sister is her,
Speaker 1: you know, manager, or maybe Lena her manager her like
Speaker 1: tour her tour, her tour manager, and I think she
Speaker 1: writes and with her. And I saw her there and
Speaker 1: she just was sitting there watching her, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I should hope if there was one fucking person on
Speaker 1: the planet who could tell me when my behavior was
Speaker 1: completely out of line, that it would be my goddamn brother.
Speaker 1: And if you get to a point where your own
Speaker 1: fucking sibling can't tell you, yo, bitch, you're out of line,
Speaker 1: then you have lost all fucking touch with reality. Yeah again,
Speaker 1: I always when when James told me that story last night,
Speaker 1: I was like, He's like yeah, And then it was
Speaker 1: Amy Sherre and She's like, can I do T. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, col wait, that's fucked up,
Speaker 1: and she's like exactly, and I'm like, that is that
Speaker 1: is fucked up, just real fucked up. That is like, uh, like,
Speaker 1: you know something in comedy, in stand up comedy world,
Speaker 1: like when you run the light, if you're a person
Speaker 1: who runs the light, the light is usually a one
Speaker 1: or two minute light that you get when you only
Speaker 1: when you have one or two minutes to wrap up.
Speaker 1: And if you're a person who like runs the light,
Speaker 1: even if you do five minutes when you get the light,
Speaker 1: that is so fucking rude and disrespectful that everybody else's time,
Speaker 1: the host of the show, the audience members, because you're
Speaker 1: going in there and going my words are more important.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take time away from the other comedians. Like
Speaker 1: that feels like a violation. This is like damn, dude,
Speaker 1: come on. And it's just like it's just so it's
Speaker 1: someone who has been giving so much by comedy and
Speaker 1: I'm not you know, she's worked for a lot herself,
Speaker 1: and I really her work ethics is great, but it's
Speaker 1: like with that that part of you in entertainment when
Speaker 1: you just become cut through and feel deserving of things.
Speaker 1: It's mean and rude, and it's a bad time where
Speaker 1: you need to sit down and be like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: she just entered into a new into a marriage. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a time when you have to really think about
Speaker 1: others and not just yourself. And that was just like
Speaker 1: just and it wasn't like this was not like, oh,
Speaker 1: a small isolated incident. This was a series of events
Speaker 1: during the night that just made me go wow, because
Speaker 1: it's like you hear bad stories about people. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of bad stories about Amytion where I always go, no,
Speaker 1: you know, I I know or I I've always had
Speaker 1: good interactions, and I was like, I was just so
Speaker 1: I was just so disappointed, especially as someone who's always,
Speaker 1: you know, and I consider to be like an activist,
Speaker 1: always kind of like standing up for what is right
Speaker 1: and speaking out. It's like, you know what, I gotta
Speaker 1: I gotta take a note from your page, from your
Speaker 1: own book, Amy, and I gotta speak again against you.
Speaker 1: And I'm really not into calling people out. I fucking
Speaker 1: hate it. I hate going on Twitter and going this
Speaker 1: person calls this person out. But god damn, this left
Speaker 1: a bad taste in my mouth. Really did really fucking
Speaker 1: piste as someone who I thought so highly of. I
Speaker 1: just hate, I hate. I just hate being disappointed by
Speaker 1: people that I love. That is a big disappointment and
Speaker 1: one that I really can't figure out because in my
Speaker 1: head when I first heard, I'm like, no, there must
Speaker 1: be a reason on her part for doing this that
Speaker 1: she told herself I was okay, but I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 1: The reason is that she decided she's more important to
Speaker 1: other people. Because it's not there's no go one. Yeah
Speaker 1: and I did this breakout series doesn't matter because I'm
Speaker 1: hosting SNEL this weekend and I don't want to look
Speaker 1: like a jackass by messing up my monologue. That's all
Speaker 1: that says. Yeah, fucking furious. So I got so mad
Speaker 1: so many times on this podcast. Hey, so I drink
Speaker 1: coffee too. That I'm not helping. It's not helping, Okay.
Speaker 1: Today's guest this is this feels like a guest who
Speaker 1: was sent to us with serendipitous vibes. She is a writer,
Speaker 1: she is a performer, and she's had one of the
Speaker 1: most interesting lives that we've ever heard on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Kind of like a nod to almost famous. Please give
Speaker 1: a warm welcome to our guest, Felicity side Dell. But
Speaker 1: let's keeps going out coming in. I can't from member anything.
Speaker 1: We're here with Felicity Sidell. You guys so excited? Hello?
Speaker 1: Wait can I say it? He'll say what? Yes? Wait?
Speaker 1: Ready ready hello fuckers? Yeah right, you know your research?
Speaker 1: Did your research? Research? Yes, I'm very excited. So you
Speaker 1: have a show, an autobiographical solo show called Lucky Chick,
Speaker 1: and it takes you us through New York City in
Speaker 1: the eighties, nighties, yaday because you lived that. Yes, I did,
Speaker 1: was New York like it was fucked up. Can I
Speaker 1: just tell you. I was asking to Karen that like,
Speaker 1: I hadn't been up to Harlem in many years, and
Speaker 1: when I got the thing that I'm coming up to,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, no way, no way, because
Speaker 1: at nineties street, like everybody you're hanging with gets off
Speaker 1: and then all the like scary like drug infested people
Speaker 1: get on. And but it's not like not like that.
Speaker 1: It was insane. It was it was like the low Wrist.
Speaker 1: I was a crack down God, it was it was
Speaker 1: crack and junkie's heroin and like criminals and you just didn't.
Speaker 1: You didn't go down there, did you go anywhere in
Speaker 1: the city. It's like everywhere was dangerous. Everywhere was dangerous.
Speaker 1: You basically went out like ready to get mugged. And
Speaker 1: if you were like a kid, you sort of just
Speaker 1: pull your hoodie up over, grab onto your backpack straps
Speaker 1: and and just walk quickly and hope for the best.
Speaker 1: Or if you were someone like me, at certain stages,
Speaker 1: you look for someone to like smack across the head
Speaker 1: and steal something from them. You stole ship from bitches. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did at a time or two, knock somebody down
Speaker 1: the street. Really, were you on crack? Wasn't on crash?
Speaker 1: Just had an attitude. Actually that was one girlfriend who
Speaker 1: had her eye on my boyfriend and it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, yo, that's not cool. And then he smacked her,
Speaker 1: actor knocked her down, like ninety in the park somewhere
Speaker 1: like that. My favorite a couple of pommels punching bitches
Speaker 1: in the punches bitches in the park. I think she
Speaker 1: got me back to I think she tried. But the
Speaker 1: big thing was I had a big wad of bubble
Speaker 1: yum and I just hurled right and right into her face.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was so were you always this petito?
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't imagine you knocking. I was tough.
Speaker 1: I was Did you carry weapons? Um? I had bubble yum.
Speaker 1: I believe switched blades were popular that say like something
Speaker 1: like that. You never carry around switch blades nowadays. I
Speaker 1: don't think it could then either, But let's say I
Speaker 1: wasn't always. Probably you could also buy beer when you
Speaker 1: were like fifteen, you know, you could just walk in
Speaker 1: and yeah, They're like you got money, Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: buy beer. It was just in New York City I did. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what area? Um. I grew up one between Third and
Speaker 1: Lacks in my show, I call it the corner of
Speaker 1: Eat something something Street, And it was like right, um,
Speaker 1: you know three blacks down from nine Street. When I
Speaker 1: grew up, Ninett was like the dividing line. It was
Speaker 1: like literally above that it was. It was Harlem, but
Speaker 1: like Harlem with you know, gangs and horrors and drug
Speaker 1: dealers and you name it and then believe there's here
Speaker 1: you know to at the moment. I lived on ninety
Speaker 1: Street in Lexington for my first couple of years in
Speaker 1: New York City. Right by that that public yea by
Speaker 1: the Clublic School. But there's this like church thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I know what you're talking about in between
Speaker 1: lex and Park and Yeah, but I remember when a
Speaker 1: new development, like one of the first new developments went up.
Speaker 1: It was in twenty two, so it wasn't that long ago.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, it's small. I've been in there. I've
Speaker 1: seen a change because down below nineties six then there
Speaker 1: were like Irish street gangs, Italian street gangs, and like
Speaker 1: Lexington and East it was still like a like a
Speaker 1: kind of an ethnic neighborhood, and then there were it
Speaker 1: was so it was it was crazy. You were surrounded
Speaker 1: by gangs. I saw. I was. Yeah, it was in
Speaker 1: one hung out with the like the street gang. Ye
Speaker 1: what's the street gang? Is that like the ninety two
Speaker 1: street why? But they were no the Why. It was
Speaker 1: definitely a different community. Um it was. It was a
Speaker 1: gang of like four brothers. I don't know if any
Speaker 1: of them is still alive. I actually know. So the
Speaker 1: oldest one, um Philip, who I tagged along on a
Speaker 1: convenient store robbery with that's in my show that opens
Speaker 1: the show. Um, he ended up getting busted and going
Speaker 1: to right he spent some time. Then he went to sing,
Speaker 1: sing and then not even worse prisons. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it sounds like a great it's fun name for a prison,
Speaker 1: right yeah. Um. And I'll never forget the day he
Speaker 1: got out, Like two years later he came back to
Speaker 1: the block and everyone was like, oh, Phillips coming home.
Speaker 1: Phillips coming home. And I'll never forget walking down and
Speaker 1: just seeing his eyes on his face and thinking, rut
Speaker 1: row so fucking a thing. Sing made you sing? It
Speaker 1: was like, was not the same thing to tell you
Speaker 1: what happened at all? Did you allude to? Uh? I'm guessing, uh,
Speaker 1: sexual assault is probably I can't imagine that didn't go down.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like a hardcore maximum security state. And
Speaker 1: then he ended up. Then I then he just went
Speaker 1: off on a different thing, and he ended up I
Speaker 1: think getting busted for like something big and violent and
Speaker 1: went away for a long time. Have you ever been
Speaker 1: in prison? No? Wows? Yeah. I mean, but then I
Speaker 1: became I'm a total hippie and like, oh okay, but
Speaker 1: what made you change, rob Places. I don't know what
Speaker 1: made me change. I just like woke up one day
Speaker 1: and I was like the street gang thing. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is getting boring. Man, you got sort of being
Speaker 1: in a street gang. I'm done. I'm done. Yea. Was
Speaker 1: there a pivotal moment that made you go, you know what,
Speaker 1: taking the plunge, starting to pick up weed and get
Speaker 1: some tight eye. I don't quite remember. I do remember
Speaker 1: one like day in a van. Okay, how's this the
Speaker 1: back of a van with like no seats in it
Speaker 1: with the street gang guys, and we might all been
Speaker 1: on acid. But I was like, this is just a
Speaker 1: weird scene. This is not my scene anymore. And I
Speaker 1: literally just veered left and went off into like hippie land.
Speaker 1: Did you tell anybody you just did it? I just
Speaker 1: did it, all of us. My god, See who's I'm off?
Speaker 1: I got more life to live. And then I ended
Speaker 1: up in Alaska. Wow, yeah, with with um a guy
Speaker 1: I call in my show the Loser Boyfriend. Um, how
Speaker 1: did you get together? Initially with the Loser Boyfriend? Well, kids,
Speaker 1: my kids, cover your ears. As I say on my show,
Speaker 1: I was doing a threesome with my friend and her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Boyfriends do as you do, you know what happens, and um,
Speaker 1: the boyfriend decides he likes me. More than her, and
Speaker 1: only I didn't really like him, so it was really uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Wait did the girl know that he liked you better?
Speaker 1: She did? A guy a little awkward, got a little weird.
Speaker 1: That's uncomfortable. Multiple threesome stories where this happens though there
Speaker 1: it's not a good set up. How did you get
Speaker 1: learn of this news? Uh? Well, he wanted to take
Speaker 1: me away, like to Alaska. He's like, literally, that's a
Speaker 1: loser boyfriend. He's the reason I got up there. He's like,
Speaker 1: do you want to go to a Grateful Dead show
Speaker 1: with me? He literally yeah, yeah, like make like little
Speaker 1: hippie grateful Dead buttons and like sell them for two
Speaker 1: bucks at the at the show, I was like, uh sure,
Speaker 1: I guess whatever. I don't know you did it. So
Speaker 1: he woke up with that we your friends, I think.
Speaker 1: So they had been going out a long time. She
Speaker 1: and I stayed friends sort of, but then I was
Speaker 1: like off on it. My from the time I got
Speaker 1: to Alaska, like major Vera left, everything went went wild.
Speaker 1: I got up there and I was with the loser
Speaker 1: boyfriend and we were kind of hanging out with like
Speaker 1: in and around a lot of deadheads who I hadn't
Speaker 1: quite like seen before. I don't know. I know what
Speaker 1: a deadhead is, somebody who follows a grateful dead around,
Speaker 1: but what what is there anything else so that I'm missing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I guess drugs on a ton of acid. And
Speaker 1: this was back in the day, like when the band
Speaker 1: was still because I heard like the acid was the
Speaker 1: thing that drew everybody to the concerts, the band and
Speaker 1: then the music, which was very improvisational, so there was like,
Speaker 1: you know, people would like the do the trip to
Speaker 1: the music, so they kind of meander around. All I
Speaker 1: remember was like people sweating and the smell of b
Speaker 1: oh and people twirling like whirling dervices, and I was
Speaker 1: like from New York, going, um, excuse me, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is going on here? Looks like who are these people?
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking like nobody's in charge, Like nobody
Speaker 1: has any idea what's happening. Everyone's just walking around like
Speaker 1: spaced out and being all touchy feeling all the cops
Speaker 1: because uh yeah, no, I don't remember the influence of
Speaker 1: the Umla no um And anyway, I that was where
Speaker 1: I one night sort of ditched the loser boyfriend at
Speaker 1: the show and decided to like meander up front and
Speaker 1: like doing my hippie dance up close and um. And
Speaker 1: then after the show, the big um gnarly roadie who
Speaker 1: I came to called Steve Parrish came out after the
Speaker 1: show and he's like, hey, are you what? He's yelling
Speaker 1: at me, and I was like, what what I do?
Speaker 1: You know came here and um, I do this whole
Speaker 1: thing in my show, and he goes the band wants
Speaker 1: to meet you come back stage, and I was like, um,
Speaker 1: no fucking way, I was. I didn't know what to say.
Speaker 1: Who wants I want to go back there and feel
Speaker 1: totally awkward? What am I going to do by myself
Speaker 1: back there? So I said, now, I mean probably cocaine
Speaker 1: and yeah, see some dicks or something. Yeah, definitely out
Speaker 1: of the getting laid would definitely have been a potential,
Speaker 1: because that's like if you only see in movies like that,
Speaker 1: but it really does happen. It definitely says justin Bieber
Speaker 1: even does that really? Yeah? Like just what they just
Speaker 1: like just like hot babes the point and they come back. Dude,
Speaker 1: that happened to me at an l m f AO
Speaker 1: concert before they got famous. And I was like oh,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll take this. I mean, i'd be kind
Speaker 1: of fun to be able to be up on stage
Speaker 1: and be like you, you're a good hare. Come on,
Speaker 1: we start, come back, and I mean, what do you
Speaker 1: do with them? Yeah, I don't know, girls like do
Speaker 1: whatever you want. I mean, well, I mean, within reason,
Speaker 1: you don't want to do anything sexual. No, I definitely
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. I mean, since most of
Speaker 1: our audience is twenty two year old girls, it's not
Speaker 1: really my because I'm like thing for various reasons. For
Speaker 1: a chat, I choose you. I just want to coffee
Speaker 1: table chat with me. It's just like a posse. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, I select a posse. I imagine that's
Speaker 1: a very powerful feeling to be on a stage, as
Speaker 1: you were saying, and be like you, I bet you
Speaker 1: didn't go back, So I didn't go back. I left.
Speaker 1: That's a power moved to the power move right. And
Speaker 1: I do the whole thing in my piece because I
Speaker 1: was pretty young and I was kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: fending my own. I do this whole thing about like.
Speaker 1: One thing I learned on the streets is when you're
Speaker 1: dealing with someone in charge, you got to act like
Speaker 1: you don't care. See, this is why I don't talk celebrities.
Speaker 1: I've discussed this before because I'm like, they'll remember me
Speaker 1: because I didn't, but then eventually maybe didn't. When you're
Speaker 1: like the girl like sorting it out, and when you
Speaker 1: finally figure out that like power, you hold your power.
Speaker 1: When I say that, all the women have a power
Speaker 1: and you can use it, but I feel like so
Speaker 1: many women choose to not use it or don't even
Speaker 1: see how they can. And they realize that is a
Speaker 1: perfect example of you going I'm good, I'm so good.
Speaker 1: And it happened again. The next night. I went back
Speaker 1: the same thing, dancing up front. Parents came out, they
Speaker 1: want to meet you. Thanks, not interesting, right, they're thinking
Speaker 1: about and I lazing on acid on top of it.
Speaker 1: That's impressive, lazing on acid not bad, So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I ended up at the hotel wherever where are the
Speaker 1: band was staying and all these like people who I say,
Speaker 1: were a few tears above the low level hippies at
Speaker 1: BO Central, and they were all like drug dealers, and
Speaker 1: there were a lot of people I ended up getting
Speaker 1: to be really close friends with. Years later, Hodly, I
Speaker 1: met them all in this one place. Um, and I
Speaker 1: walk into I'm like tripping my brains out walk into
Speaker 1: an elevator which was mirrored everywhere, and so I'm like lost,
Speaker 1: like looking into like and like this woman walks in
Speaker 1: and she's like six ft tall and she's got like
Speaker 1: the big buffont haird and like a dog collar and
Speaker 1: spiked heels. And I was like, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? And she literally looks at me and she goes,
Speaker 1: is your name Felicity? And I was like, what's happening?
Speaker 1: And I go yes, and she goes, I know someone
Speaker 1: who's dying to meet you. And she grabs me, drags
Speaker 1: me out of the elevator, through the lobby, down the
Speaker 1: street and into a bar and she walks me up
Speaker 1: to this big glass window and like dumps me off
Speaker 1: in front of Weird and Garcia and from the and
Speaker 1: like just sort of dumps me and says, here's here
Speaker 1: she is, babe, out to get you and bring you
Speaker 1: to the bar. She was awesome. She was the girlfriend
Speaker 1: of the base of learned to be that cool. I
Speaker 1: just you know, you just hold your own save as
Speaker 1: little as you need to say, and keep your eyes
Speaker 1: open and take it in and make your decisions carefully. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And there's also just something I mean, there's just listen
Speaker 1: to this clip for a while. There's a uniqueness of
Speaker 1: growing up in the city too, Like I can always
Speaker 1: pick out people who like were like born in this city,
Speaker 1: Like they're always they're always they always stand out, Like
Speaker 1: there's comedians who were born in the city, and like
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, I'm not surprised that they can get
Speaker 1: out of any situation in essence, Yeah, totally. Man, it
Speaker 1: is like growing up in New York, especially then, because
Speaker 1: all the kids were like left on their own, like
Speaker 1: all the dads split, the moms were a mess, all
Speaker 1: the moms were taking mother's little helpers in the cabinet,
Speaker 1: and everybody was like, you kids, just figure it out,
Speaker 1: just we trust you. Were like, really, that's a bad idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a terrible idea. But you figure out how to
Speaker 1: run the show really young and and like live life
Speaker 1: and if you survive, you're doing well. It's it's that's interesting.
Speaker 1: Did you surround yourself when you were younger. We've surrounded
Speaker 1: with mostly men in the gangs, and that's interesting. It
Speaker 1: seemed like they really respected you and they treated you
Speaker 1: because I I you don't want to hang out with
Speaker 1: a group of guys. It just really depends on who
Speaker 1: they are as people, what their energy is. But sometimes
Speaker 1: you get treated like the little sister. Sometimes they're creeping
Speaker 1: on you, and other times they just respect you on
Speaker 1: this like total, like I don't know, like ethereal level.
Speaker 1: So it's but it seems like that one Sometimes it
Speaker 1: just fart in front of you, and you're like, that
Speaker 1: doesn't work better than you guys really have to fart.
Speaker 1: It's just disgusting. Yeah, yeah, No, I feel like I
Speaker 1: I benefited from sort of being the cool chick wherever,
Speaker 1: you know, and holding my own and and feeling, you know, respected.
Speaker 1: Did you ever feel when you were younger speaking of
Speaker 1: like sex and stuff, that you had to that you
Speaker 1: owed anybody sex for anything? Like when I think back
Speaker 1: to when I was an early young teenager, I did
Speaker 1: that a lot because I was like, I guess this
Speaker 1: is what boys wrong, right, I want them to like me?
Speaker 1: Kind of I didn't quite. I was thinking about it
Speaker 1: before I came on to talk to y'all, because um,
Speaker 1: I didn't so much like in the in the in
Speaker 1: the groups and the scenes where I was because I
Speaker 1: really had like a standing there and I got to
Speaker 1: know everybody, and there were people and groups of people
Speaker 1: I hung out with for a long periods of time,
Speaker 1: and I was always like somebody's girlfriend, so and I
Speaker 1: had like long relationships. Um, I'm not going to stay there.
Speaker 1: Weren't like, you know, moments and people moments where it
Speaker 1: was like it's just easier to kind Oh I've done
Speaker 1: that so many times. Um, but now I didn't really
Speaker 1: feel I didn't really feel that way so much that
Speaker 1: I felt more like that thing of like retaining your
Speaker 1: power and hanging onto your and your parents were like
Speaker 1: you're on your own. I mean you really figured that
Speaker 1: out for yourself. Yeah, what was your home life? I
Speaker 1: know you grew up with. Your mom was just dad
Speaker 1: and just not in the picture or he. Um, they
Speaker 1: split when I was really young. I'm actually he ended
Speaker 1: up becoming very important to me, like maybe thirteen or something.
Speaker 1: I moved over with him. Um. My mom was a
Speaker 1: bit of a mess, as I say on my show.
Speaker 1: Only problem was she loved her booze. Yes she um no,
Speaker 1: she was just completely neglectful, like so you had to
Speaker 1: be her mom basically blackout kind of Um, so I really, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta bro um and so you know, I just
Speaker 1: had to figure it, just had to like toughen up
Speaker 1: and figure it out. They can get and they probably
Speaker 1: think when I when I know people as adults who
Speaker 1: as kids, they really had to put their survival instincts
Speaker 1: to use there and then they have a better grip
Speaker 1: on life. It seems there comes a point where you decide, like,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's time to like undo those survival
Speaker 1: instincts and like like unravel them a bit, so I
Speaker 1: don't have to like live that way. How did you
Speaker 1: do that? Um A lot. So my show kind of
Speaker 1: ends at the starting point of you know, uh a
Speaker 1: lot of hard work, therapy, all blah blah blah, the borings.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, where's part two, because like we get to
Speaker 1: the end of the show and it's like this raucous
Speaker 1: hour where literally the tagline is buckle up, sweetheart, It's
Speaker 1: one hell of a ride and literally we mean that. Um.
Speaker 1: And then at the end I'm not going to give
Speaker 1: away the well, the last line kind of sitting in
Speaker 1: the therapist office and she's like, you know, so fussy,
Speaker 1: tell me a little about your mother and after this
Speaker 1: insane story. We haven't even gotten to like the Columbian
Speaker 1: drug cartel and the drug dealer guy and you know,
Speaker 1: the cocaine bust and like you name it. It goes
Speaker 1: on and on. But I literally look at the therapist
Speaker 1: and I'm like, why, what the hell does any of
Speaker 1: this have to do with my crazy alcoholic mother. I'm
Speaker 1: onsit on of this show, and everybody's like, where's part two?
Speaker 1: Where's part two? I'm like, it's so boring. It's just
Speaker 1: you keep putting a blanket over your mom. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like the unpacking parts like takes years. The Colombian
Speaker 1: drug cartel, what what? What? Well, so I ended up
Speaker 1: after the whole Alaska thing, then we jumped forward some
Speaker 1: years because life actually meanders in a really slow, like
Speaker 1: weird way. But when you're telling a story in an hour,
Speaker 1: you gotta juice. You gotta get to the juice man.
Speaker 1: You gotta find those points where something turns, and you
Speaker 1: got to connect some dots and you gotta jump ahead
Speaker 1: a little and you know, put things together so you
Speaker 1: can tell a story. Um, but after the whole Alaska thing,
Speaker 1: it jumps back to the Bay Area, where I was
Speaker 1: the girlfriend of Bobby We're from the Grateful Dead and
Speaker 1: dated them for how long? Oh? Yeah, it was like
Speaker 1: it was a big love affair. I wasn't a dead
Speaker 1: head girl. What's dead It's like, you know, the hippie
Speaker 1: straggling sweating. When I went I sat up on a stage.
Speaker 1: Let's just be clear. Okay, so deadhead isn't necessarily a fan.
Speaker 1: I love your Deadheads. You I have been coming to
Speaker 1: see my show. I did not mean to diss you,
Speaker 1: but back on day I kind of wanted to put
Speaker 1: on a raincoat when I went out in the audience
Speaker 1: because I was like, they're all sweat and it's all
Speaker 1: flying everywhere. I got nice clothes on and I'm just
Speaker 1: you know, into the like bo and whatever. It was
Speaker 1: quite my things. That's why I say I'm not It
Speaker 1: wasn't quite a deadhead, got it. But they were like
Speaker 1: my family. I kind of grew up with them in
Speaker 1: comfort Zone. Yeah. So, um so I was like his
Speaker 1: girlfriend and then I don't really know why it happened,
Speaker 1: but I was also the girlfriend of um, someone I'm
Speaker 1: still friends with, who I adore, but who it was
Speaker 1: a big coat dealer back in the day, like Kilo's
Speaker 1: and kilos like dealer, Yeah, who got busted. So that's
Speaker 1: the same time, at different times, same time, same time,
Speaker 1: different times. I had two fun boyfriends. I had two
Speaker 1: fun crazy boyfriend Did they know about one another? Well,
Speaker 1: I do this thing in my show too Weird. Knew
Speaker 1: about Danny. But Danny, my hot headed Italian it was
Speaker 1: actually a Jew definitely did not know about We're. He
Speaker 1: was like a hot headed and We're was okay with
Speaker 1: this kind of he was like was he was. When
Speaker 1: you date somebody who's in a famous band like that,
Speaker 1: do they fuck other people on the road? Yeah? I would,
Speaker 1: I would, I would guess that's going on. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I had a period of time where I don't think
Speaker 1: that was going on. We lived together for a little bit,
Speaker 1: a couple of years before I moved out and moved
Speaker 1: to l A and moved on to a lamb ass relationship.
Speaker 1: We're not going to talk about. Were you living together
Speaker 1: in Alaska or no? I was, because I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, they can't be based out of Alaska.
Speaker 1: And I was almost a child then, so okay, okay,
Speaker 1: just passed a child. How How old were you when
Speaker 1: you dated and held was he at the time won't
Speaker 1: go there. Yeah, that's not that. I'm sorry. So that's okay.
Speaker 1: Because I was young, I was a lot younger and
Speaker 1: U and I adore him and I still do them.
Speaker 1: We're still exactly. I don't have any regrets or bad
Speaker 1: feelings or thinking anybody was doing anything creepy. Yeah, woman knows.
Speaker 1: Women know what's up sometimes like very young and a
Speaker 1: lot of times everyone including the lawn. Everyone yourself, if
Speaker 1: you raise yourself, I was going to say, yeah, you
Speaker 1: were already like and in rock and roll. It was
Speaker 1: just a different scene. I don't know what's going on today,
Speaker 1: but um, you know, so so wow, How how long
Speaker 1: did you have the coke dealer boyfriend? He was also
Speaker 1: years um and then like I left him. I was
Speaker 1: weird girlfriend. And then I felt like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this story is just it's complicated. That's why it took
Speaker 1: two years to write the thing. But um uh so
Speaker 1: I kind of went back and forth. There was a
Speaker 1: period I was seeing both of them, and it turned
Speaker 1: into like this pressure cooker with both of them, because
Speaker 1: I'm curious can be in love with two people at
Speaker 1: the same time. I don't know. That's an interesting quite
Speaker 1: I definitely loved both of them. I mean, they were
Speaker 1: just big loves of my life, and they were very
Speaker 1: different worlds and very different scenes. And I think it's
Speaker 1: cool to kind of have these different with these two
Speaker 1: different men. Like it was cool, but it was really
Speaker 1: challenging because it's not good. I think it's sort of
Speaker 1: not good to lie and it's not good like all
Speaker 1: that stuff. I would imagine. It's stressful. It's very stressful.
Speaker 1: It was very stressful. And I was young again, so
Speaker 1: I don't really know, like what's it like? I could never,
Speaker 1: would never do that today. I'm not interested. And there
Speaker 1: was no cell phones yet, right, And how do you
Speaker 1: do this without texting? I don't even know how. You're
Speaker 1: probably safer without texting and social media. It's like social media,
Speaker 1: she checking in in a Colombian. It's like you are
Speaker 1: exactly you are where you are when you're there, and
Speaker 1: then when you're somewhere else, you're somewhere else. That sounds
Speaker 1: It was different. It was a good time. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: So how did things end with those? Well? Um, it
Speaker 1: went on for a long so we ended up suggesting
Speaker 1: that perhaps maybe I should go off to Wyoming to
Speaker 1: rake Hay at his friend's ranch, John Barlow, who was
Speaker 1: trying to get me out of here, and I was
Speaker 1: like a fucking ranch. I was like, I'm from New York, man,
Speaker 1: what am I doing? Wyoming version of a rehab or
Speaker 1: like a mental rehab, or like it was a special place.
Speaker 1: John Barlow, who died this past year, who was an awesome,
Speaker 1: awesome person, a wild man. He was a cowboy, a
Speaker 1: true cowboy. He was also lyricist for The Grateful Debt.
Speaker 1: He wrote most of weird songs with him. And he
Speaker 1: had this ranch that um he inherited from his father.
Speaker 1: It was a full on, full on, like real deal
Speaker 1: cattle ranch in Wyoming and southern Wyoming, so not like
Speaker 1: a dude ranch, not like um. It was unbelievably beautiful.
Speaker 1: And he had some funky ass old cowboys that would
Speaker 1: come out and um and hey for the summer because
Speaker 1: they you know, they grow hey. Then you got to
Speaker 1: like cut it and brake it and bail it and
Speaker 1: stack it. And then in the winter they feeded out
Speaker 1: in thirty below seventy below zero degrees and that's on
Speaker 1: slaves by slay. So you did go to the farm.
Speaker 1: I did end up going um because It just seemed
Speaker 1: like a good way to like duck out of town
Speaker 1: and get out of trouble because it had just gotten
Speaker 1: way out of control and I didn't know how to
Speaker 1: fess up and like come clean and get talking about
Speaker 1: the two relationships, and we're kind of knew that you
Speaker 1: were stressed out from that totally. He was like, why
Speaker 1: are you mixed up in this craziest scene with like
Speaker 1: a hot headed you know you don't dry dealers, and like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Like, let's get you out of
Speaker 1: here and give you some time to like think. So
Speaker 1: I did, insightful, I did, finally go. Barlow was like
Speaker 1: out of his mind that summer. It was an epic
Speaker 1: summer of craziness of drinking wild turkey and taking LSD
Speaker 1: and he had a staff and action in his elbows
Speaker 1: so he had fever. And my god, I go on
Speaker 1: about like I go to Red Rocks, where I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to like the Colorado for a show where like I
Speaker 1: jump on a private plane with a band, like I
Speaker 1: think I'm like entering into a witness protection program sort
Speaker 1: of to like get away from the trouble. And I
Speaker 1: get to the show and Barlow's there I've never met him,
Speaker 1: and he's like freaking out of his mind. He thinks
Speaker 1: God is So there's big thunderstorms and lightning cracking down,
Speaker 1: and he thinks God is talking to him through the
Speaker 1: thundernea blazing with fever from the staff infection, So he's
Speaker 1: like out of his mind. And I literally was like,
Speaker 1: are you kidding me? This is who I'm going to
Speaker 1: Wyoming with. This is who you're sending me off with,
Speaker 1: and off I went for one of the most extraordinary
Speaker 1: summers I ever had, Like it was a life change
Speaker 1: or did He came and came and went and they
Speaker 1: wrote a couple of songs that summer while I kind
Speaker 1: of lay around, Would you do? Yeah, what you do
Speaker 1: on the farm? What did you? Um? I raked He
Speaker 1: I had to learn how to drive a tractor. I
Speaker 1: think I didn't have my license yet. I didn't know
Speaker 1: how to drive yet. To drive a tractor first, YE
Speaker 1: learned how to drive a country song title funky ass
Speaker 1: pickup truck and the tractor with big wheels and like
Speaker 1: it was pretty cool and you had to rak and
Speaker 1: put them in straight, like all the fields had to
Speaker 1: get into straight, rosa hay and things where I was breaking.
Speaker 1: And I love manual labor, I gotta say. And I
Speaker 1: can't imagine. I've always wanted to go to Wyoming. It
Speaker 1: sounds so beautiful. I would just work manual labor all day,
Speaker 1: shower and then just masturbated. But that's a good way
Speaker 1: to spend a day. There's something that nice good night's
Speaker 1: sleep there in nature. Um. I was, however, not a
Speaker 1: country girl, so when I got out there, I literally
Speaker 1: was like, what the fuck. The sky's big, it's really quiet,
Speaker 1: and cows scared the ship out of they still do.
Speaker 1: I'm not good with cows. Movine is not my thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So like I would, I started running there and I would,
Speaker 1: I would go. I remember one day I came back
Speaker 1: from a long run and I was starting to like
Speaker 1: see the beauty and all the color and the ground.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, this is awesome. And I get
Speaker 1: to this point in the road, one road, nowhere else
Speaker 1: to go, barbed wire everywhere, and I see this massive
Speaker 1: fucking cow dropped head like staring at me. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I die. So I ran and dove
Speaker 1: through the barbed wire, just binged my leg, gave myself
Speaker 1: a big puncture, ended up having a drive up to
Speaker 1: Jackson to go to the hospital for a TETNA shot, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was it was charging at you. Was it a
Speaker 1: steer like it was the dairy cow. No, you're just
Speaker 1: truly afraid of this massive? Yeah, is scary in real life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's huge. And they dropped the head down and then
Speaker 1: had like horns like kill me in the everybody they
Speaker 1: made fun of me. You didn't know that was a
Speaker 1: dairy But how can you be a dairy cow when
Speaker 1: you're dude? I net work. Maybe he's the one who
Speaker 1: fox all the maybe because I was like, yeah, he
Speaker 1: doesn't because he can't. Well he doesn't come in a
Speaker 1: bucket you make milk out of it. He's probably there
Speaker 1: to suck the cows. I literally it was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: he looked scary. What was I supposed to do? So? Like,
Speaker 1: what it? What it? What kind of things did you learn?
Speaker 1: Was it just like doing the manual labor that got
Speaker 1: your mind off other things? Or did you have like
Speaker 1: any conversations or specific experiences there that kind of helped
Speaker 1: to change your life. It was slowing it all down,
Speaker 1: It was it was it was like just starting to
Speaker 1: slow it down. Quiet everything down. I do this thing
Speaker 1: in my show about like about like seeing Butch Cassidy
Speaker 1: and the Sundance Kid like you know, like um, totally
Speaker 1: idealizing the cowboy life and how their gentleman and how
Speaker 1: cool they are. And then you know, I get to
Speaker 1: the ranch or a bunch of total misfits. There are
Speaker 1: people like missing mouths and drinking. Yeah. Yeah, there was
Speaker 1: one guy was like, oh, they've worked there forever thing
Speaker 1: and uh he they that he had gotten lip cancer
Speaker 1: after fighting in the Korean War. In the hospital like
Speaker 1: literally removed his mouth. And then there was some there
Speaker 1: were some characters there, so I kind of I go
Speaker 1: there thinking like this is gonna be awesome. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be Butch casting, sexy pot guys, Robert It's you know,
Speaker 1: and then like the creep who just got out of
Speaker 1: jail after ten years and like it was his first job.
Speaker 1: I'm not so sure they did, but they kind of. Um,
Speaker 1: they were just strange people who lived this other life
Speaker 1: who would go and hay in the summer and but
Speaker 1: there was a woman there summer camp totally. There was
Speaker 1: you know Indian John who was half Indian half Irish,
Speaker 1: like to drink it was like, alrighty fellas, okay, let's
Speaker 1: just keep it together. Here were you again. The one
Speaker 1: of the only women I was except for um, the
Speaker 1: woman who was the foreman of the ranch. It was
Speaker 1: this cowgirl. She was awesome, badass. She was a badass.
Speaker 1: She hated me. She was gonna say, was she a babe?
Speaker 1: And she like town in terms of like she well,
Speaker 1: and it's serious business runner ranch. I mean, you got
Speaker 1: cattle that they were like, I don't know, a thousand
Speaker 1: head of cattle, and you know they're they're the livelihood
Speaker 1: of everybody depends on the thing actually functioning and working.
Speaker 1: So some crazy chick showing up with you know, rap
Speaker 1: stars girlfriend like, yeah, that's true, are you? And then
Speaker 1: my little mini skirt, my cowboy boots at the rodeo.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like she was just like was this woman
Speaker 1: like was this woman like a young babe or was
Speaker 1: she like this old tough chick like bad mad. She
Speaker 1: was probably in her thirty like and she was she
Speaker 1: had big blue eyes and long and she was real
Speaker 1: weathered because she she had you know, she'd wear a
Speaker 1: cowboy hat. But she was amazing with the horses and
Speaker 1: the cattle, and she would ride off. Yeah, she was.
Speaker 1: And I at the time like, no, I never I
Speaker 1: didn't like connect with her at the time, and I
Speaker 1: didn't like her at the time because she didn't like me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, in such a different environment, it
Speaker 1: really wasn't unwinding. But when I started writing this show,
Speaker 1: I realized how important she probably was. Yeah, because she
Speaker 1: was a role model of sorts. She was like a
Speaker 1: woman who held her own, who was tough as nails,
Speaker 1: who could handle herself around a bunch of dudes. She
Speaker 1: was like the you of a different, totally different environment,
Speaker 1: but she had her ship together and she was like,
Speaker 1: you know, getting the job done. And I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, man, that's someone to look up to. What
Speaker 1: did you learn about yourself through being on the ranch?
Speaker 1: I talk about something waking up inside like that, talk
Speaker 1: about the rumbles of a force deep inside, like connecting
Speaker 1: to kind of a rage, and I think it was
Speaker 1: like that thing waking up, going hang on a second,
Speaker 1: I'm here somewhere. I'm not just going to be like
Speaker 1: running in this scene as this person's girlfriend, running in
Speaker 1: that scene as that person's girlfriend, Like who am I?
Speaker 1: And what do I want? And that was like the
Speaker 1: first time. I think it really that really started to
Speaker 1: wake up, like who am I? And that we've been talking,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm that's my stage I gotta go to.
Speaker 1: It's it's really it's key. Well, can you speak a
Speaker 1: little bit about like dating someone who's who's much older,
Speaker 1: because I think it's like I definitely like to date
Speaker 1: people who are like a lot like I mean, the
Speaker 1: man I've maxed out of fifteen years older than me,
Speaker 1: but like I would go older if anyone's um so,
Speaker 1: And I think it's like, you know, there's so much
Speaker 1: thought and like a lot of times it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: well there's something wrong with a guy who dates a
Speaker 1: much younger woman. But I do find that there's like
Speaker 1: sometimes can be a lot of benefit and like that
Speaker 1: I need to go that much older to even be
Speaker 1: getting any anything out of the relationship myself where I'm
Speaker 1: learning just because they're I feel like men just are developing,
Speaker 1: like emotionally a lot slower. What did you get out
Speaker 1: of your relationship with like Bob were I mean I
Speaker 1: always went out with older guys until like kind of
Speaker 1: until I met the guy I ended up maryan So
Speaker 1: and and I always felt like like guys until they
Speaker 1: hit like forty were pardon me, guys, but kind of retards,
Speaker 1: Like what's what they're just like emotionally so far behind them.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It just felt like as a smart,
Speaker 1: like young, feisty person. Um, I don't know, it just
Speaker 1: it worked better to be with older, older people. I
Speaker 1: was so not interested in what people like my age
Speaker 1: or guys my age we're going through it just always
Speaker 1: I felt like a couple, not like it never felt
Speaker 1: like me because I have in relationships where the person
Speaker 1: was older, and it did felt feel like a little parental. Um,
Speaker 1: not for this, like not like weird parental, but just
Speaker 1: even like non not big age gaps can feel parental
Speaker 1: depending on personalities total well like yeah, like like you're
Speaker 1: in prison, but yes, there's always that kind of relationship different.
Speaker 1: Those are different, not fun, those are different. So who
Speaker 1: how how much what's the age difference if any between
Speaker 1: your husband now, um, were he's actually a little bit younger? Yeah? Nice?
Speaker 1: And how did you guys meet? Like after the dust settled, Um,
Speaker 1: the dust settled. Then there was kind of like a
Speaker 1: bad relationship after I moved out from weird, So I
Speaker 1: ended up going there's a little I got back together
Speaker 1: with Danny out of gil saw him the Italian guy.
Speaker 1: He was an Italian was Jewish Italian because then he
Speaker 1: got busted and then I felt really guilty and I
Speaker 1: felt like I couldn't like leave, so I hung out
Speaker 1: for a while and then I was like, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: actually done, like no can do this anymore. I still
Speaker 1: have like how long did it take you to realize,
Speaker 1: you know what, this isn't the best for me? I
Speaker 1: had to go women of that maternal thing and they
Speaker 1: feel like they step in when they to their energy
Speaker 1: totally totally, and you hang in there through stuff and
Speaker 1: you just feel bad. But I also loved him as
Speaker 1: it was confused, yeah, and you were caring, you cared
Speaker 1: about him. I stayed in there until he actually went
Speaker 1: off to Jale and a little bit longer, and then
Speaker 1: I stopped. And then I took some time, like and
Speaker 1: then weird was like courting me, like old fashioned would
Speaker 1: come cook me food, and I was, you know, effort,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, if I was like finally in like college
Speaker 1: at this and anyway, um, and then finally I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, what what am I like holding back
Speaker 1: for I know this guy so long, I love him
Speaker 1: and yeah, so anyway, then I end up moving him.
Speaker 1: Then I moved to l A. Then I had a
Speaker 1: long shitty relationship with somebody that didn't make it in
Speaker 1: my show because he was no fun that one on
Speaker 1: a long time how long years? And uh it was
Speaker 1: like just like sexually very dysfunctional, not a good mass. Well.
Speaker 1: One thing I learned from all of that. I always
Speaker 1: thought like you could work on anything, whether it was
Speaker 1: like emotional issues or like if people didn't, like, you know,
Speaker 1: have a good sexual connection, you could work on it
Speaker 1: and it could get better. I've learned differently. I actually
Speaker 1: don't think so anymore. And I think that you're like,
Speaker 1: you should pay a lot of attention right away whatever
Speaker 1: is happening right in the beginning. You may have a
Speaker 1: long road like of unraveling and rebuilding at some point,
Speaker 1: but if it ain't there to start with, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: here to tell you it's probably not going to show up.
Speaker 1: I don't don't that because it's like it's like, why
Speaker 1: are you to put more time into something that? Like
Speaker 1: I think women working to begin with, women especially feel
Speaker 1: like they can fix it or they can change it.
Speaker 1: Or we can communicate. I can communicate it out of you.
Speaker 1: I can I can talk my way so that we
Speaker 1: can be on this level that I would love us
Speaker 1: to be on. And I think there's something like holding
Speaker 1: out hope, like this feeling that even you know that
Speaker 1: the shittiest situation could be made better to a point
Speaker 1: where you feel good. That leaves you like a hope
Speaker 1: that that's possible, And and the hope can be addicting,
Speaker 1: and then all that work can be addicting, and it's
Speaker 1: like you're never really in a good, happy, healthy fund place.
Speaker 1: And then you realize you're never even paying attention to
Speaker 1: what you want. And the more you unpack and the
Speaker 1: longer you work at it, you finally start get to
Speaker 1: a point and you go, you know what I want?
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like easy and fun. So that
Speaker 1: was a big And when I met um Gollie, my guy,
Speaker 1: my guy, Um, yeah, in a street corner in Venice,
Speaker 1: did you have a cinematic life? Could I ask you
Speaker 1: more questions about the bad relationship? Do you mind if
Speaker 1: you don't want to answer them? And I don't mind
Speaker 1: you asking at all? Um, what kind of sexual because
Speaker 1: this podcast we get pretty detailed with sex stuff like
Speaker 1: what what does sexual dysfunction mean? Like, it could mean
Speaker 1: so many things, so in that like you weren't compatible sexually,
Speaker 1: like you wanted you had a higher sex drive than him.
Speaker 1: There's so many different examples I could think of that
Speaker 1: would fall into that. Um. I don't want to go
Speaker 1: too much into it because I was thinking before I
Speaker 1: came on here, I was like, I got teenage kids
Speaker 1: in my book. My boy who was like thirteen, half
Speaker 1: super cute dude, really nice guy. I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't really he came to my show and he was
Speaker 1: like really into it. But I go, but were you surprised?
Speaker 1: He's like, um, yeah a little. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, what I forget to tell him about because
Speaker 1: I kind of them. And he's like, um, the whole
Speaker 1: cocaine drug dealer thing. Like I was kind of a surprise.
Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't tell you about Danny, who
Speaker 1: he's met. I was like, oh ship, what a shocker.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, now I needed for him
Speaker 1: to like stumble upon a podcast like that. He's like,
Speaker 1: Danny's like cleaned up now and like hanging out and
Speaker 1: going like the One Woman Show is Danny is a
Speaker 1: family man. Danny an awesome woman man, has two kids
Speaker 1: and like runs a business and that's not that's not
Speaker 1: drug sometimes. He was always an entrepreneur, so he was
Speaker 1: a true entrepreneur. Oh my god, Yeah, he's a he's
Speaker 1: a good guy, Alfred. Wow. So so the sexual dysfunction
Speaker 1: what they had to do with sexual capatibility? Um, I
Speaker 1: would say so honestly, I can't. I have never bumped
Speaker 1: into something like that in my life, so I don't
Speaker 1: really know. I just know that, Um it was it
Speaker 1: wasn't like there wasn't a lot of it going on,
Speaker 1: and uh and there was some just seemed to be
Speaker 1: some confusion between like love and a woman and being
Speaker 1: able to like get all into like wanting a lover up.
Speaker 1: I just they didn't quite go together for a person,
Speaker 1: at least with me. Okay, So um yeah, And I
Speaker 1: can I can understand being thinking at the in that
Speaker 1: kind of situation like, Okay, you know what, maybe if
Speaker 1: we connect deeper, we talk it out or I kind
Speaker 1: of Well, the downside of that is with this particular person,
Speaker 1: it was slightly like it was not slightly, it was
Speaker 1: very blaming of me in any way, shape or form
Speaker 1: and why I hung in there for years of that,
Speaker 1: I really don't know. We did work, and we tried,
Speaker 1: we tried. I don't know why. I just I do
Speaker 1: know why in the end, because in the end that
Speaker 1: was the relationship I came out of. And I went, oh,
Speaker 1: I just spread my wings. I am free of all
Speaker 1: the like chains that have like bound me from the
Speaker 1: time of being really young and had me in like
Speaker 1: difficult situations, straddling like dangerous situations and weird, you know,
Speaker 1: big loves, but complicated and fucked up. I finally went
Speaker 1: it was working through that one. I finally spread my
Speaker 1: wings and I went, I am ready to take flight.
Speaker 1: And it was after that one that I met Gully
Speaker 1: and I and I and I'm When I met Gully,
Speaker 1: I called a friend because I had gone out with
Speaker 1: another guy like the night before, who was like a
Speaker 1: raised car mechanic on old like old cars. Beauty took
Speaker 1: me riding up in the hills under the moonlight. He
Speaker 1: canceled all his plans for the weekend. He wanted to
Speaker 1: see me, and I was like, uh, he's cool, this
Speaker 1: is fun, and I know exactly where this has gone.
Speaker 1: I was like five years later, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: going Why did I just spend another five years with
Speaker 1: And then I met Gully and and I called a friend.
Speaker 1: I was like, dude, I'm at a fork in the
Speaker 1: road on the road. I literally met him on the street.
Speaker 1: He was a friend, he went to college with a friend,
Speaker 1: a neighbor. So um, it was just a happenstance meeting
Speaker 1: on the corner. Like as soon as I saw him,
Speaker 1: we locked eyes. And I thought it's funny because at
Speaker 1: the time, I was like, I don't want another relationship,
Speaker 1: Like I'm done. I'm trying to take a break here
Speaker 1: from like one after another, just about yourself strength. And
Speaker 1: you're like, that's it, right, And and I met him
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, he's cute and he doesn't
Speaker 1: live here, and um, this is perfect. We could just
Speaker 1: have a fling and it'll be like sexy and hot
Speaker 1: and like and then quickly that's so rare. I canceled
Speaker 1: my frequently invited me to breakfast. I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: And then I let him like stay with me because
Speaker 1: he was kind of staying in his van on the street.
Speaker 1: He was like having a soul searching trip with a
Speaker 1: dog he had just adopted in a van. I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: you could stay in my house. What did you like
Speaker 1: about him? Like, what excited you about him? Um? He
Speaker 1: was really cute, he was really fun. Um we had
Speaker 1: this like I mean, it sounds so cheesy, but we
Speaker 1: had this like total I like connection. I literally knew.
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like I just met the
Speaker 1: love of my life. Like it was like a big
Speaker 1: thing right away. But he was really nice And I
Speaker 1: was like I didn't know that that was but that
Speaker 1: was possible. I literally didn't know that you could meet
Speaker 1: somebody who wasn't like super fucked up, who was cute, fun, sassy.
Speaker 1: I wish every woman knew that. It's every woman who
Speaker 1: wanted to date a man knew that it's they're out there.
Speaker 1: They may be like far and few between, but they're
Speaker 1: out there. So I cancel my plans. I went to breakfast.
Speaker 1: I let him come stay with me, and that it
Speaker 1: was really funny because I'm I call him um gully
Speaker 1: but his his like birth name is given as Dan.
Speaker 1: But like I was like, I kept I felt like
Speaker 1: such a guy. I was like, um, he was like saying,
Speaker 1: I was like, it can't be his name. I got
Speaker 1: his name wrong for like two weeks. I was like,
Speaker 1: hey you because I didn't hear Gully until I got
Speaker 1: to New York City and and was went into a
Speaker 1: place with where a college friend of his was there
Speaker 1: and went, hey, Gully, and I was like, oh, thank god,
Speaker 1: that's his name, but like I couldn't get through my head,
Speaker 1: so anyway, I felt like a dude. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm like all hot on this guy and I can't
Speaker 1: remember his freaking name. That is pathetic. It's okay. My
Speaker 1: best friend who's been with the same guy for like
Speaker 1: twelve years didn't know his name for like several weeks
Speaker 1: after they met in college. It's weird. It's like it's
Speaker 1: what you can't ask, yeah, because then once you let
Speaker 1: time pass, you need and ask, Like I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: wait for someone to say your name. Once you're like
Speaker 1: deep in, you're kind of like, you know, look at
Speaker 1: their idee so bad. Now. I think it's interesting because
Speaker 1: I we spent a lot of time and I've been
Speaker 1: watching like a lot of sex in the city lately
Speaker 1: because we've been like in hotel rooms with like very
Speaker 1: little options. After I've watched every episode of Impractical Jokers
Speaker 1: five times, um And I love it because the story,
Speaker 1: it's like they it's so great and I feel so
Speaker 1: many feelings. Um And You've had such an interesting life,
Speaker 1: but a lot of it was like following men around.
Speaker 1: But you at the same time you're very independent and
Speaker 1: you're fighting people on the streets. So it's like, how
Speaker 1: do you kind of straddle that maketure. You're not just
Speaker 1: you know, following following men and and you're following your
Speaker 1: own heart and what you want to do. Em women questions, right,
Speaker 1: that's a good questioning a lot of thinking in Kansas City,
Speaker 1: since those are called thinking towns. There's nothing else to do.
Speaker 1: But then you got to think a lot the rest
Speaker 1: of the day. That's a good question. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like some I mean I hate
Speaker 1: to say it, but I feel like that may come
Speaker 1: well for me a little later in life, like just
Speaker 1: that clarity, because I do feel like, even though I
Speaker 1: feel like I retain my sense of um some power
Speaker 1: and potency. As a as a very young woman, I
Speaker 1: was running in some like you know, I call it
Speaker 1: the inner sanctum of a boys club, one after another
Speaker 1: after another. I mean, there were Hell's Angels around. There
Speaker 1: were the roadies, there were this and that, and um,
Speaker 1: I think I made a lot of years of like
Speaker 1: how do I hold my own in those kind of situations?
Speaker 1: There was there was a lot of years of feeling
Speaker 1: successful at just doing that and getting to do some
Speaker 1: really fun things because of it. But I think, um,
Speaker 1: I don't feel that way now. I feel like I
Speaker 1: got my two feed on the ground and got my
Speaker 1: head on top of my shoulders, on top of my hips,
Speaker 1: on top of my shoes. So we're all aligned and
Speaker 1: it's a different thing. But I also think that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, the good news is that like younger people
Speaker 1: younger you know, like like um people who women who
Speaker 1: are coming up and from like teenagers into I think
Speaker 1: they're really I think they have a lot better shot
Speaker 1: at um being connected to their gut. Like I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something you really, Um that parents don't do
Speaker 1: enough of when people when kids are little is like
Speaker 1: how to not encouraging them and trusted, Yeah, like feel
Speaker 1: your guts, stay with it, be able to say no,
Speaker 1: be able to like express yourself into not like kind
Speaker 1: of because parents freak out on their kids little kids,
Speaker 1: and then there's some disagreement and then it causes the
Speaker 1: kid to like shove away how they really felt, what
Speaker 1: they really wanted to say, and adjust to the adult
Speaker 1: and then do it again and again and again, and
Speaker 1: then what they really learn over time by the time
Speaker 1: they get to be a teenager is how to not
Speaker 1: listen to their gut. So I feel like that's something
Speaker 1: really important that um, we can all teach younger people.
Speaker 1: And then and yeah, I think that. But but following,
Speaker 1: like like the idea of following like a man in
Speaker 1: a band that you like, and like that's so exciting,
Speaker 1: Like how you gotta take I mean, if you have
Speaker 1: the adventure nous in your heart, you gotta go. Or
Speaker 1: you can start to your own band and have people
Speaker 1: follow you around. But doing these things is helpful because
Speaker 1: then it's like, Okay, do I like this? Do I not? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: and then so you have you have a daughter, and
Speaker 1: how old is your daughter? Okay, because I'm very interested
Speaker 1: in like kind of living this life, and then how
Speaker 1: and then like your approach and raising a daughter. Fascinated
Speaker 1: by that. I'm so fascinated by this too. It's actually
Speaker 1: funny because like as crazy as my show is, my
Speaker 1: story and the whole thing like I've realized in talking
Speaker 1: about it in different ways here and there, I'm most
Speaker 1: interested in what it's like to raise a daughter with
Speaker 1: like all of that background. So I mean, I believe
Speaker 1: in being really direct. I don't think that you have
Speaker 1: to say everything all the time, Like you don't have
Speaker 1: to spill every being, especially with your own kids. But
Speaker 1: you also shouldn't pretend you're somebody or not. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think being like for me being a trusted resource
Speaker 1: for real information, for being someone whose opinion on something
Speaker 1: or to help sort something out, for them to feel
Speaker 1: like they can come to me and I'm going to
Speaker 1: give them the straight, you know, the skinny on it,
Speaker 1: and like we'll talk about it, and I'm willing to
Speaker 1: talk about anything. That's the other thing. And they don't,
Speaker 1: you know, they know, like they know that I've been
Speaker 1: around the black and have seen a lot and done
Speaker 1: a lot um, but I don't focus on that, Like
Speaker 1: I don't have to say all of it. The show
Speaker 1: was a big decision to let them come see it
Speaker 1: each Like one year staggered apart, but then I realized,
Speaker 1: like the stories are old, the work is current. I
Speaker 1: spent two years writing it. Then I got a director.
Speaker 1: We started developing this show. We got a lighting designer,
Speaker 1: we gotta you know, scenic design, and our costume designer.
Speaker 1: We on social media, Like it's developed into a thing
Speaker 1: and that's the work that's current and they've been part
Speaker 1: of that. My daughter helped edit my um really fun
Speaker 1: crowdfunding video. Like she I basically just gave her a
Speaker 1: bunch of footage the script that I wrote, and like
Speaker 1: I did a bunch of crazy shit into the camera. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's she's YouTube. She's got like a YouTube channel and
Speaker 1: she's totally cool. So um so. So I believe in
Speaker 1: you know, I believe in being direct, and I believe
Speaker 1: in being you know, what they what they know is
Speaker 1: what they feel like if you're there. They feel your heartbeat,
Speaker 1: your warmth, your support, your steadiness, that you're thinking about them,
Speaker 1: that you're adjusting what you're thinking and how what you're
Speaker 1: gonna say, because you're taking them into account, not trying
Speaker 1: to like, oh, I you know, I want you to
Speaker 1: come see my show because I want you to see
Speaker 1: my show, as opposed to like, yeah I want you
Speaker 1: to come, let's talk about we can talk about talk
Speaker 1: about it. Uh, what kind of sex talk did you
Speaker 1: give your daughter and then also your son, and at
Speaker 1: what points did you have a plan or you just spontaneous.
Speaker 1: I'm very curious about that. Um, that's a tricky one.
Speaker 1: We haven't had like um, I mean it's always funny
Speaker 1: because like you want to be um, respectful of them,
Speaker 1: like I may not be the best person, Like I
Speaker 1: may not be the one that my son wants to
Speaker 1: talk to about any of it. I broached the subject
Speaker 1: here and there. But like the cool thing is they
Speaker 1: have like at school now, they have like like um,
Speaker 1: like a health class where they talk about it all.
Speaker 1: They show the kids how to put on condoms. I
Speaker 1: was like, really, yes, they talk about s TVs. They
Speaker 1: talk about public school, private, they talk about consent, they
Speaker 1: talk about everything, They talk about social media, they talk
Speaker 1: about like shame, they talk about respect, like the talk
Speaker 1: about like homosexuality and trans and stuff like that. My
Speaker 1: kids are growing up like when as if like like
Speaker 1: that's not some comprehend unusual thing. They have you know,
Speaker 1: bathrooms for trans kids there, and um, they've got like
Speaker 1: like they know more than I do about all of that.
Speaker 1: So to them, it's not like a subject, it's just
Speaker 1: life part of because kids learn to become shitty adults.
Speaker 1: I think with the with the hatred stuff, and I
Speaker 1: feel like growing up in an environment like that where
Speaker 1: you're a huge example such as a school, is setting
Speaker 1: the bar of like, hey, we're to talk about shame
Speaker 1: and guilt and sending nudes like it's great. And also
Speaker 1: it means that like if if the parents aren't the
Speaker 1: one they want to talk to, that they don't have
Speaker 1: to like I don't. My feeling is if you want
Speaker 1: to talk about it, I will totally talk about anything.
Speaker 1: We can talk about anything, and I will not abandon you.
Speaker 1: I won't leave you. We'll talk about it and I
Speaker 1: will help the best I can. But I may not
Speaker 1: be the person that either one of them wants to
Speaker 1: talk to. My daughter and I are pretty close, so
Speaker 1: we we actually talk about a lot of things. But um,
Speaker 1: I might not answer question about drugs. I'll answer a
Speaker 1: question about anything. Um. But they're also they're rocks. I
Speaker 1: mean they're rock solid. They're probably so well just as
Speaker 1: far as I can see, they're they're like they got
Speaker 1: their feet on the ground and they're both Um, they're
Speaker 1: just cool people. So it's awesome. And you were like,
Speaker 1: what do you do with your roles like co parenting.
Speaker 1: I'm very interested in, like you know, divvying up the
Speaker 1: parenting skills because I feel like a lot of times
Speaker 1: moms are pulling more weight and I don't want it
Speaker 1: to be like that. But I didn't know if you
Speaker 1: had any like hot tips. I'm not even having kids
Speaker 1: or probably getting married, but I'm just like, I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to like give people a tools that I think
Speaker 1: will make their lives easier. Well, you never know. I
Speaker 1: never thought I would have kids either. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. I was like, I can't be a
Speaker 1: freaking mother. I am so unequipped for that job. And
Speaker 1: I like to save all the dogs. Really, I just
Speaker 1: don't exactly. I've always had a dog, and so you
Speaker 1: never know. I met and then like I met the
Speaker 1: guy and I felt head over heels in love and
Speaker 1: he was we weren't married, and on a plane like
Speaker 1: lying from Denver to New York or something, in a snowstorm,
Speaker 1: we were stuck. He looked at me, It's like we
Speaker 1: should have a love child. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm like, how long were you together for your kids?
Speaker 1: Six months? Damn? Now I don't even with the motherfucker
Speaker 1: that really do you? Um? I'm thinking about I know
Speaker 1: Krin and Filgian, but like I I am getting out
Speaker 1: of relationship for seven years and I'm thirty, and I'm
Speaker 1: thinking to myself, like I I do want kids, but
Speaker 1: meeting somebody you kind of have to go quick ish.
Speaker 1: But did you feel like that? Are you? Were you
Speaker 1: happy with the way the pace at with with which
Speaker 1: you guys couldn't help it? Like we felt so crazy
Speaker 1: in love, And I thought to myself, this could be
Speaker 1: insane because I have made some funky choices before, and
Speaker 1: you were pregnant and also still falling in love with
Speaker 1: them totally totally. Can you say how old you were
Speaker 1: at that time when you guys met, Um, I'm just thirties, thirties.
Speaker 1: I think I'm just curious. I was like, also, you
Speaker 1: have ten more years know I want to kids like
Speaker 1: seven because and I also I've met women who have
Speaker 1: had kids in their late thirties and they are the
Speaker 1: most well adjusted parents I've ever witnessed in my entire life.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, that's how you fucking do it
Speaker 1: because they have they have their own self figured out,
Speaker 1: so they're not projecting their ship under their kids chill
Speaker 1: and like being a young parent who can be cool
Speaker 1: because totally if you're a good parent, just everybody you're
Speaker 1: excited about and you get a closeness in your age
Speaker 1: with your kids, which is nice. Yeah present yet but
Speaker 1: we had both our kids more we got married cool,
Speaker 1: So what was the what what was the decision then
Speaker 1: to get married? Like what just just for pure loves
Speaker 1: sake or for the kids or mix them both? Definitely
Speaker 1: not for the kids. You don't need to be married
Speaker 1: to have kids. Yeah, we've talked about it. Took us
Speaker 1: a long time to come around to it because we
Speaker 1: were both like I was like, we do not have
Speaker 1: to get married. I really that's not something like I
Speaker 1: need to feel like a whole person. I'm good and
Speaker 1: you can. You can parent without it, and if you
Speaker 1: split up you can still parent well. Like, so if
Speaker 1: you get married, you have to figure out like why
Speaker 1: are you doing that? That took a while. We had
Speaker 1: like a fake run of it. We did a little
Speaker 1: mini you know ring and I was like sure, and
Speaker 1: then we were like we are so not ready for this.
Speaker 1: Let's just how we'll keep having our babies and yeah, um,
Speaker 1: what made you want to do it eventually, just like, um,
Speaker 1: it just seemed like this sort of deeper spiritual, like
Speaker 1: you know, place to go, Like what would it be
Speaker 1: like to kind of just say like I'm in, I'm
Speaker 1: in with both feet and I'm going to just do
Speaker 1: my best to like do my best over and over
Speaker 1: even when we hit like places, because you hit places,
Speaker 1: you gotta keep you gotta keep working on it. So
Speaker 1: it was good. It's been Um, it's it's been awesome.
Speaker 1: I had to say, like I I as crazy as
Speaker 1: my freaking story is and as all over the places
Speaker 1: I have been more than prime most people you you've met. Happiest,
Speaker 1: coolest thing has been having a family because I didn't
Speaker 1: have one when I was a kid. I didn't get
Speaker 1: to do it then, but I'm getting to have it.
Speaker 1: I'm getting to like feel motherhood now as a mother.
Speaker 1: I didn't have that in my life at all. I
Speaker 1: still don't really from from her, but I have it
Speaker 1: big time with my kids, and it's a freaking treasure.
Speaker 1: I feels so lucky. I feel like you are. Wow.
Speaker 1: I feel show is called lucky. Yeah, I didn't even
Speaker 1: try to do that on purpose. So that's a good point,
Speaker 1: Like do you have Do you have any more questions?
Speaker 1: Where I was? What? So plug away because we want
Speaker 1: to see this show. I can't wait. I want to
Speaker 1: follow you online? Where do I get well follow us online?
Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook are at the Lucky Chick and Twitter
Speaker 1: is at Lucky Chick. Um we're doing oh his upside
Speaker 1: down with his mouth open, having a moment. It was
Speaker 1: an hour without paying attention to him, so he's really struggles.
Speaker 1: Little dogs so cute. You can interrupt my pitch for
Speaker 1: the show, Alfred Um. We got our last two shows
Speaker 1: at the Paradise Factory this weekend. We've had an awesome
Speaker 1: run there for a month and then it's sort of
Speaker 1: like take a break, regroup and see where it's going
Speaker 1: next because it's an action packed story and you know,
Speaker 1: hoping to develop it and some other you know forms
Speaker 1: and keep going with it. Maybe some more live shows.
Speaker 1: We'll see. But it ain't done. I can tell it ain't.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of excitement. So do you have
Speaker 1: social media if your only want to plug I'm just
Speaker 1: sort of a little boring at Felicity Sidell but I'm
Speaker 1: the forward. Yeah, yeah, it's it's you know, the name
Speaker 1: is the name. Nobody else has my name, so I
Speaker 1: never have a problem that's getting my email or my Twitter,
Speaker 1: my you know, my good stuff. Um So I'm just
Speaker 1: that flicy sidell. But the more fun stuff is um
Speaker 1: has been the stuff. I'm Chelsea is working with me
Speaker 1: on on the Lucky Chick stuff. Well, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for sitting down and telling your story. Is definitely interesting.
Speaker 1: Uh this has been guys. We fuck the Anti Slot
Speaker 1: Chamning podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday. Today's show
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