Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren're sorry about last night anti slut shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hello fuckers, how are you? And welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the anti
Speaker 1: slut shaming podcast. I'm Karen. I'm Christina. Hi, Hey guys, Uh,
Speaker 1: how are you? I hope well, you know we haven't
Speaker 1: recorded a recording. Yeah, desk, yeah, yeah, it's just my
Speaker 1: it's just my robot version. We haven't recorded the podcast
Speaker 1: in a while. I feel I feel like we haven't
Speaker 1: recorded so long because we did three three weeks in
Speaker 1: a row, because we've been away and in that time,
Speaker 1: Ireland repealed the Eighth Amendment um they had a referendum
Speaker 1: for uh. The Eighth Amendment is a clause inserted into
Speaker 1: the Irish Constitution after a referendum in nineteen eighty three.
Speaker 1: It recognized an equal right to life for both mother
Speaker 1: and the unborn child, effectively prohibiting abortion in almost all cases,
Speaker 1: and then two further referendums were held in resulted in
Speaker 1: the thirteenth Amendment, which allows women to travel in and
Speaker 1: out of Ireland to have an abortion. Oh, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Pro repeal campaigners say a hundred and seventy
Speaker 1: thousand people have done just that. And the fourteenth Amendment,
Speaker 1: which authorizes information about abortion services overseas and in the law,
Speaker 1: was changed to permit abortions when doctors felt a woman's
Speaker 1: life maybe at risk from pregnancy complications or suicide. Wow,
Speaker 1: thank you. Otherwise, a doctor unlawfully performing an abortion faces
Speaker 1: persecution and up to fourteen years in jail. And now, uh,
Speaker 1: that is the word that should persecution too, So they're
Speaker 1: both accurate. Man, I'll never be good with words. Anytime
Speaker 1: anybody corrects a spelling error I make online, I'm like,
Speaker 1: just you just need to accept the fact because I've
Speaker 1: already accepted it that I'm I'm so dumb. I'm not
Speaker 1: even gonna have spell check catch my errors. And that's okay.
Speaker 1: A lot of smart people can't spall, I know, so
Speaker 1: it's fine. Um. But congratulations um the women of Ireland
Speaker 1: for winning the right to your own body and you
Speaker 1: decide what to do with it. If you want to
Speaker 1: keep a baby, you can keep a baby. If you
Speaker 1: don't want to If you get pregnant, you don't want
Speaker 1: to keep it. I don't care what the funk your
Speaker 1: reasoning is. That is your choice, and I'm so happy
Speaker 1: that you that your government is giving you that amount
Speaker 1: of respect. And to everyone who flew in. It was
Speaker 1: so cool to see all these women from all around
Speaker 1: the world to vote. I'm like, fuck, yeah, bitch, you
Speaker 1: fucking vote for numbers. That was not an easy to do.
Speaker 1: And I mean, and it's also I mean, if we talk,
Speaker 1: there's so m much conversation about privilege, but that's a
Speaker 1: great use of privilege, Like if you have the means
Speaker 1: and the time to be able to take that trip,
Speaker 1: like obviously it made a huge difference. Yeah, so kudos
Speaker 1: to all of you. Uh, that's just amazing. And also
Speaker 1: kudis to Ben and Jerry's. I love them both the same.
Speaker 1: We did such a great job a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago that they were like, we need more of this.
Speaker 1: They must have sold so much merch, which is ice cream, guys.
Speaker 1: Support for today's show comes from Ben and Jerry's. That's
Speaker 1: the best sense I've ever heard. Known for creating euphork
Speaker 1: ice cream with quirky and unique flavor combinations and delicious
Speaker 1: chunks and swirls throughout That's how a lot of people
Speaker 1: in high school described me. Um. Now, with new Mouforia flavors, school,
Speaker 1: taking into a bowl of your favorite treat is even
Speaker 1: sweeter because, at one forty two hundred and sixty calories
Speaker 1: per serving, Mouporia is the lightest way to enjoy all
Speaker 1: the euphoria of Ben and Jerry's. Now. We're not saying
Speaker 1: to you know, just like eat this all in one sitting,
Speaker 1: but wow, now you can have ice cream in your
Speaker 1: life every single night and not look in the mirror
Speaker 1: and be like this isn't the summer body I was getting?
Speaker 1: Or is this too personal? Is this? Is this too personal?
Speaker 1: Ben and Jerry's wit. You know, when you finished dinner
Speaker 1: and then you already look pregnant, so you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: just also going to eat Ben and Jerry, what's the night?
Speaker 1: Is that? The move foia is what people say after
Speaker 1: they come when having sex with me? Okay, um, that
Speaker 1: was okay, Oh my god, it was real good. I
Speaker 1: really was not on a diet for any of my vacation.
Speaker 1: It was wonderful. Available in three amazing flavors, including chocolate,
Speaker 1: Milk and Cookies Caramel Cookie Fix Sam that sounds like
Speaker 1: an addiction problem and PB dough uh try them all.
Speaker 1: Go to store dot Ben Jerry dot com to have
Speaker 1: new move Floria Light ice cream delivered to you fucking
Speaker 1: deliberate because it's like you already burned enough calories by
Speaker 1: eating that. Don't want Come on, idiot, I mean that's
Speaker 1: that's perfect, And now I know I can order Ben
Speaker 1: and Jerry's. Thank you Ben and Jerry's let see us live. Yes, Uh,
Speaker 1: well if you don't, if you can't get to any
Speaker 1: of the venues, then you can listen to the Two
Speaker 1: Less Lonely Girls podcast. Guys, it's been a fucking amazing
Speaker 1: week for Two Less Lonely Girls podcast. So you already
Speaker 1: know that Patty Millette has listened to the podcast and
Speaker 1: deemed Rosebud Carl Lentz past celebrity past or Carl Lentz
Speaker 1: has not only d m me, followed me on Twitter
Speaker 1: and listen to the episode about the Hillsong Church vision
Speaker 1: that visit that we went to. This is insane. I
Speaker 1: can't even believe in myself all of my wildest dreams
Speaker 1: were coming true. And that's just shows if you dream
Speaker 1: really small, the dreams are really achievable to us only girls. Hey,
Speaker 1: and I have a comedy sketch and song album out
Speaker 1: with Joseph Bessie. It's called Maybe It's You and it's
Speaker 1: available on iTunes and you could buy it for and
Speaker 1: we sing songs and we curse and we make noises
Speaker 1: and I get to have an outlet for all of
Speaker 1: my cartoon voices, so you can listen to that. And
Speaker 1: also tonight and tomorrow Salt Lake City, Utah, We're coming
Speaker 1: for you. We have two shows tonight and two shows
Speaker 1: tomorrow June ninth at Wise Guys. Sorry about last Night
Speaker 1: Comedy dot Com slash Tours um Minneapolis, Minnesota, June fourteen,
Speaker 1: fifteen sixteenth, We're gonna be at the House of Comedy again.
Speaker 1: Those tickets are out. Sorry about last Night Comedy dot
Speaker 1: Com slash chores upcoming other cities that We're gonna be
Speaker 1: in Irvine, California, which is forty eight minutes away from
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, like a shiploaded dates. Yeah, that's that's gonna
Speaker 1: be a big venue, big show. Make sure to come
Speaker 1: to that because we do not have any Los Angeles
Speaker 1: dates books, So that's the show to come to if
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. Area. We're not. We're after we're done
Speaker 1: touring in We're gonna be done around October. We're done,
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a little break. So this is the
Speaker 1: fucking time to see us live. Yes, absolutely, Uh. We're
Speaker 1: also have dates up for Philadelphia. We have some Texas
Speaker 1: dates up um, so just make sure to get in
Speaker 1: on those A S. A P. Because again, it does
Speaker 1: make people worried when we don't sell tickets up until
Speaker 1: the week off. You know, probably like wow, do you
Speaker 1: guys see you coming or what? And then and then
Speaker 1: if you're in New York City, guys, Friday, June nine,
Speaker 1: we are doing Nacho Bitches at New York Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: It's at eleven thirty pm. Tickets are twelve dollars with
Speaker 1: code Nacho Uh. It's co hosted by me and sometimes
Speaker 1: rosebud Baker, sometimes justin Perez. We always have a really
Speaker 1: hot line up. That club is amazing And thanks to
Speaker 1: everyone who came out and saw Nacho Bitches in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles at the Comedy Store, we really appreciate it too.
Speaker 1: Sold out shows Mosha Kasha and Natasha Lajarre over there.
Speaker 1: We always have lots of fun popp in guests at
Speaker 1: Nacho Bitches and then the next day you're like, man,
Speaker 1: I really can't get enough of these gals. Fucking Glamour
Speaker 1: Pus is Saturday, June seven, thirty pm. It is a
Speaker 1: zinc bar as always, hosted by myself and Wendy Starling.
Speaker 1: Uh last, oh god, I freaking love the show. I
Speaker 1: used the stand up my stand up portion of the
Speaker 1: show to like air out things and joke about things
Speaker 1: that I will never say on stage anywhere else or
Speaker 1: on the podcast because they're very personal. But I used
Speaker 1: it as like a writing exerc eyes and it's very fun. Uh.
Speaker 1: The shows have been selling out, so get yell tickets.
Speaker 1: All the links that we're talking about there into the
Speaker 1: description of today's episodes, so you know, you just like
Speaker 1: click on that instead of tweeting at us whatever. It's
Speaker 1: an extra step. Hey, we're gonna do a couple more
Speaker 1: ads and then to get to some juicy ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: letote y'all, let me tell you something about Lettote. I
Speaker 1: fucking love them because you don't want to hate shopping.
Speaker 1: It's it's a lot. It's like gives me anxiety. A
Speaker 1: lot of things give me anxiety. But I just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't like you know, I haven't really been leaving
Speaker 1: the house lately, and Littote is like, I got you, girl.
Speaker 1: It takes the stress out of getting dressed with Lettote.
Speaker 1: Litote takes your measurements and ratings and learns not just
Speaker 1: your size but the nuances of how you like your
Speaker 1: clothes to fit, which is very nice. So you get
Speaker 1: you can get the right styles and the right size delivered,
Speaker 1: and then when you're done, you just send it back.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Like, it's just like they
Speaker 1: give it to you to like wear for a week
Speaker 1: or however long you want to keep it, and then
Speaker 1: you send it back. Um. I fucking love them. I have.
Speaker 1: I've kept a lot of the items. And then when
Speaker 1: you keep them, they charge you, but you just you know,
Speaker 1: if not, you just send it back and you're like
Speaker 1: cool by um, but I have a purse from there.
Speaker 1: I have sweater things that I I would never try
Speaker 1: on if I saw him in a store. And that's
Speaker 1: what I need in my life. I need someone to
Speaker 1: be like, shut the funk up, get out of your
Speaker 1: own head, just try this on and look in the mirror,
Speaker 1: and then look with Altote you can refresh your fashion monthly,
Speaker 1: just wear return and discover fashion that fits you better.
Speaker 1: It'll take the stress out of getting dressed. Like I
Speaker 1: said before, you go to littote dot com. That's l
Speaker 1: E T O t E dot com to get started.
Speaker 1: Enter promo code g w F, a checkout and you
Speaker 1: get fift off your first month. Again, that is litote
Speaker 1: dot com. Enter code GWF, and thank you very much
Speaker 1: to Spotify. Some things were meant for each other. Fries
Speaker 1: and milkshakes, selfis in duck face and now guys be
Speaker 1: fucked and Spotify. Yes, guys, the same app that has
Speaker 1: millions of songs now also has thousands of podcasts. Some
Speaker 1: of you guys knew this already, some of you don't.
Speaker 1: I listen to podcast pretty much, EXCLUDI of Lee on Spotify.
Speaker 1: I love this. I've been a Spotify paid user long
Speaker 1: before they featured the Guys We podcast. I really love
Speaker 1: these discover weekly playlists they put together for me because
Speaker 1: I'm always like, no one knows me, no one can
Speaker 1: get to the inner workings of myself. Oh wait, this
Speaker 1: like app just did it because I like just trace
Speaker 1: what I listened to specially pretty simple. Um listen. It's
Speaker 1: all about listening, guys. Listen to all your favorite shows
Speaker 1: and discover new ones by browsing categories such as lifestyle, news, comedy,
Speaker 1: sports and recreation and more. Plus, you can save podcasts
Speaker 1: offline for when you don't have an Internet connection and
Speaker 1: you Spotify connect to seamlessly play podcasts two different devices.
Speaker 1: To subscribe to our show, just search for guys we fucked, tap,
Speaker 1: follow and get every new episode delivered to you. Podcasts
Speaker 1: on Spotify their streaming right now and now and now.
Speaker 1: That was just a copy. But like real talk, Spotify
Speaker 1: is the best way to listen to podcasts. We're not
Speaker 1: not paying us to say that. Uh, and I it
Speaker 1: all the time. I know a lot of you have
Speaker 1: been complaining about other ways that you listen to podcasts
Speaker 1: not really working. Highly recommend switching over listening to our
Speaker 1: podcast on Spotify. Have you guys heard us talk about Movement?
Speaker 1: You know, those two college dropouts that started their own
Speaker 1: watch company, fucking weirdos. No, actually it's great because moving
Speaker 1: watches are wonderful. This company has grown like crazy with
Speaker 1: almost two million watches sold in a hundred and sixty
Speaker 1: plus countries, and now they've doubled their number of watch
Speaker 1: styles oh fucking shit, and expanded to sunglasses what the
Speaker 1: fuck and fashion forward bracelets for her. Needless to say,
Speaker 1: Movement has become has come far from being crowdfunded kids
Speaker 1: working out of a living room and hey, soul of
Speaker 1: crit and I, although we're still in a living room,
Speaker 1: suck it. Not surprising since they offer classic design, quality construction,
Speaker 1: and styled minimalism across all of their products, not cement in.
Speaker 1: Unlike the four to five price tags you find its
Speaker 1: department stores, Moving Watches started just nine dollars, and I
Speaker 1: gotta say when someone has a nice watch on, I
Speaker 1: notice it, and I really appreciate their attention to detail
Speaker 1: in their style and who they are. And I think
Speaker 1: watch is a really great accessory and it encourages you
Speaker 1: do not look at your fucking phone all the time,
Speaker 1: because I always I'm like what time is it? Oh?
Speaker 1: And then two hours later I'm still on Instagram's like Wow, Christina,
Speaker 1: get a life. Get off today with free shipping and
Speaker 1: free returns by going to m v mt dot com
Speaker 1: slash GWF. See why Movement keeps growing check out their
Speaker 1: expanding collection. Movement Watches also make for really great fucking gifts.
Speaker 1: No one gifts watches anymorri fucking stop doing that and
Speaker 1: give movement watching. Oh that's great, well, because that's how
Speaker 1: you know the power of movement has come into your life,
Speaker 1: whether you're celebrating at a grad or your dad hint hint,
Speaker 1: Father's day. Um, and movement is the perfect place to
Speaker 1: shop for an affordable timeless gift. Go to mvy t
Speaker 1: dot com slash GWF and join them then joined the
Speaker 1: movement always makes me think of like getting a colonic
Speaker 1: and like shipping. Oh, it makes me think of Michelle
Speaker 1: Obama trying to get all the kids get off their
Speaker 1: fat assid get up fat ass and exercise. Come on, kids.
Speaker 1: I did it. Get a colonic recently for the first time,
Speaker 1: and it was I loved it. I got one. I
Speaker 1: didn't mind it, and I was like, like, apparently, like
Speaker 1: quote good at it, but I'm also like, you're good
Speaker 1: at getting a colo. Yeah, She's like, you had a
Speaker 1: good colonic. Like some people like get are constipated and
Speaker 1: like it doesn't come out and it's more like an
Speaker 1: enema where like the colonic happens and then they just
Speaker 1: shut it out later, like I shout it out right
Speaker 1: into the two. Oh that's good. The woman commented on
Speaker 1: my tight butt hole. Yeah, when I got it, you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want everybody to your most. It wasn't that
Speaker 1: like when you were a kid. This was years and
Speaker 1: years ago. I was two. Yeah. Oh meant a lot
Speaker 1: to me and I'll never I'll never forget it. Oh
Speaker 1: I came in first place. Yes you did, Philadel Okay,
Speaker 1: this email is is my boyfriend gay? Should I say something? Hey?
Speaker 1: Just wanted to do this is my favorite topic. Also,
Speaker 1: everyone knows Happy Pride. Um. Hey just wanted to briefly
Speaker 1: mention that I absolutely love your show. Some of the
Speaker 1: things you both talk about are super eye opening and
Speaker 1: I love it. Anyway, I've had this feeling for a
Speaker 1: while now. This is not funny, but it's so funny
Speaker 1: now that my boyfriend might be gay. Yeah, we've been
Speaker 1: dating for about three years. A while ago, I accidentally
Speaker 1: saw the porn that my boyfriend had opened on his phone.
Speaker 1: I can be a very nosy and curious person A
Speaker 1: nice way of saying nosey again. Um, So I've been
Speaker 1: looking at his history and private browsers pretty frequently to
Speaker 1: see what he's been looking at. I have not once
Speaker 1: seen straight porn on his phone. I know that guys
Speaker 1: will just look at whatever they're in the mood for,
Speaker 1: but I find it's strange that it has only been
Speaker 1: gay porn. Yeah. Another reason I think that he could
Speaker 1: be gay is that he always wants me to do
Speaker 1: is makeup. You're really you're really testing me. I want
Speaker 1: to be open, but you're really testing me. Writer. Um,
Speaker 1: I've been really getting into makeup recently. I'm whenever I
Speaker 1: do my makeup or we aren't really doing anything, he'll
Speaker 1: ask me to do is makeup. He'll ask me at
Speaker 1: least once a week. I also called him putting on
Speaker 1: a pair of my panties once. I know that cross
Speaker 1: dressing is a thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay,
Speaker 1: but it's very concerning. Another thing that isn't as um
Speaker 1: concerning by itself, but when tied all together with everything,
Speaker 1: is that he wants to be submissive. He wants me
Speaker 1: to do all the things to him that I want
Speaker 1: done to me, for example, choking, spanking, etcetera. He will
Speaker 1: never be dominant towards me, even though I've expressed it
Speaker 1: to him many times. How I want him to. I
Speaker 1: don't like being dominant at all, and he almost forces
Speaker 1: me to. Okay, well that's weird, that's bad wording, but
Speaker 1: you probably get the point. Regardless of all this, I
Speaker 1: can see myself being with him for a long time.
Speaker 1: Why and obviously I don't want my boyfriend to be gay?
Speaker 1: Then dumb up? Am I crazy? Should I confront him
Speaker 1: about it? If so, how would I go about doing this?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much? Also, please don't munch of my name?
Speaker 1: Thank you? What I mean? What a doozy of an email?
Speaker 1: Perfect for pride? Yeah, all of these things don't scream
Speaker 1: gay to me that they but yeah, it's something's happening.
Speaker 1: But also, you know, I mean I think everyone's gay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm usually right. Uh, this have been I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think of an example, but you always have been
Speaker 1: on this guy. Okay. The cross dressing, the cross dressing
Speaker 1: is definitely that's a different element and a person does
Speaker 1: not mean you're a gay how And and also it's
Speaker 1: like that's kind of like rude to gay men, Like
Speaker 1: most gay men aren't putting on makeup, so it's like
Speaker 1: a completely different thing. Um, it's more of like you know,
Speaker 1: drag queen. Uh kind of it could be like trans
Speaker 1: it could be cross dressing. Those are the kind of
Speaker 1: elements like and straight men cross dress. Like Yeah, I
Speaker 1: really don't know a lot of gay men, like my
Speaker 1: gay friends don't put on makeup, so that's not that's
Speaker 1: not gay. But um uh the gay porn exclusively watching
Speaker 1: male gay porn as a quote uncle out straight man,
Speaker 1: I've never I've never heard of that. Even though women
Speaker 1: watch lesbian port all the time, it's for a totally
Speaker 1: different reason. Yeah, that's for like a sense of like
Speaker 1: security and safety. Um, that's why you know straight women
Speaker 1: are for the most time, it feels les aggressive. It
Speaker 1: feels like the women are having like a better time.
Speaker 1: I know you've discussed, Um, it's it's just seems a
Speaker 1: little There's a lot of things that makes me think
Speaker 1: because the other other too, like the submissiveness and the
Speaker 1: panties and the makeup, the three things this submissive I
Speaker 1: wouldn't worry, but submissive I don't think has anything. But
Speaker 1: I just feel like he wants to explore not that
Speaker 1: submissive is equal to like feminine at all, because those
Speaker 1: two have are not you know, they have nothing to
Speaker 1: do with each other. But it seems like, oh, maybe
Speaker 1: he wants to explore the side of himself which is
Speaker 1: fun and child kind of like it's fun to explore
Speaker 1: a side of yourself, but you've already masted a lot
Speaker 1: of time in this guy, Like you need to have
Speaker 1: a conversation and if three years in you have trouble
Speaker 1: having a conversation like that, because it's like tough conversation
Speaker 1: to have, no doubt, but it's like you if you're
Speaker 1: three years in and you can't figure out a way
Speaker 1: to do that, then like you guys aren't meant to
Speaker 1: be other reasons besides impossibly being a homosexual. Um. And
Speaker 1: it's I think it's like I think, like kind of
Speaker 1: using the word Christina just use, which is explore, is
Speaker 1: a great way to kind of talk to him. Just
Speaker 1: sit down and be like, hey, um, you know with
Speaker 1: the makeup and everything, and I've you know, kind of
Speaker 1: noticed that you know, it's hard because you've been snooping,
Speaker 1: so it's really hard around that. I think I think
Speaker 1: without that you can also mention a couple of other things.
Speaker 1: It just seems like maybe maybe you're you know, gender
Speaker 1: is a little more fluid, or that you might be
Speaker 1: interested into exploring relations with men. Has that ever been
Speaker 1: something that you've thought about. I would just like to know.
Speaker 1: I'm your partner and I want to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're having a sexually satisfactory relationship like your end. But
Speaker 1: also and also thing that you should bring up on
Speaker 1: your having this conversation is that you really like to
Speaker 1: be the submissive one and that you know if he
Speaker 1: likes to be it, you should at least take turns
Speaker 1: because like I know, he's not like forcing you as
Speaker 1: in like sexual assault or rape, but if he's like
Speaker 1: trying to convince your pressure you pressure you into doing
Speaker 1: that you But if you both like to be to
Speaker 1: play the same role in sexuality, like take a ton
Speaker 1: of times, that's not gonna work. But yeah, you have
Speaker 1: to at least take turns. That's not fair to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because if he can't get aroused in the other situation,
Speaker 1: then there's some other problems that kind of go beyond
Speaker 1: his uh sexuality. But there definitely needs to be a
Speaker 1: conversation to be had. And I mean, like it depends
Speaker 1: like the makeup thing. Like for me, if I had
Speaker 1: like a straight boyfriend who or even bisexual boyfriend who
Speaker 1: liked me putting on makeup like that wouldn't bother me.
Speaker 1: But like that's not okay for everyone, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: need to be. I think in these like modern you know,
Speaker 1: progressive times, everyone like it's almost like you you feel
Speaker 1: like you have to be okay with things like straight
Speaker 1: men wearing makeup, and like, yeah, you have to be
Speaker 1: okay with them as in prospecting that choice, but you
Speaker 1: don't have to be sexually attracted to a straight man
Speaker 1: who wears makeup, Like and it doesn't make you a
Speaker 1: bad person. One can ask that of you and that
Speaker 1: is not that's just like you're still allowed to have choices.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes it's kind of washed over like
Speaker 1: you're a bad person, Like what your boyfriend were a
Speaker 1: dress and you broke up with him, Like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't want my broad boyfriend wearing a dress. That's just
Speaker 1: something that I have in my life. Like if we
Speaker 1: went out and my boyfriend was wearing a dress, that's
Speaker 1: not for me. If you wanted to cross dress on
Speaker 1: his own time, I think that's something I could handle.
Speaker 1: Everyone has different things they can handle in different things
Speaker 1: they cannot handle, and that doesn't make you a bad person.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't make you close minded. It just makes
Speaker 1: you a fucking human. Yeah, who you are attracted to
Speaker 1: is who you're attracted to. That's just not Dan Savage
Speaker 1: always says, like, interrogate your desires, So ask yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: well why do I like this? And make sure it's
Speaker 1: not for like a ship reason. But usually it's not.
Speaker 1: If you're if something makes your dick get hard, then
Speaker 1: something makes your dick get hard. You know that's what happens,
Speaker 1: oh man speaking at hard dicks. Yes, I'm just I
Speaker 1: don't know how much I want to. I just I
Speaker 1: just had sex yesterday with a person that it was
Speaker 1: just it's just I'm trying to bang other people. JUSTI
Speaker 1: Dodge and I were hanging out and she was the
Speaker 1: same person you've been making Yeah, and uh, well yeah,
Speaker 1: you like having sex with this person, I do a lot.
Speaker 1: And uh but then I need I need just you
Speaker 1: keep telling me like you need to have two more crushes,
Speaker 1: you need to have three so that you can just
Speaker 1: if you ever feel yourself getting oh boy, she is
Speaker 1: you do get you get obsessed to Lloyds with people, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do, and I put them on a you know whenever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so, and I just that's I don't I'm so
Speaker 1: mindful now of not doing what I did with Steven,
Speaker 1: So I think that's great. But just for my own sanity,
Speaker 1: it's just nice and I'm trying. But man, like I'm
Speaker 1: on a dating app, it's just everyone sucks, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, don't compare like real life like connection that
Speaker 1: you have. And you've also like you just never kind
Speaker 1: of like been single like in your current career. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so much fun. And like one other times, like
Speaker 1: last week, I think it was we fucking I fucking
Speaker 1: bought shower curtains, like to shower curtains to put over
Speaker 1: the bed, and then we just drenched each other in
Speaker 1: oil like like lube. I went I but I went
Speaker 1: to UM, I went to pleasure Chest, and I said, hey,
Speaker 1: the guy I'm fucking He suggested baby below. But I
Speaker 1: know there's something better we can get, Like what's like
Speaker 1: a baby consistency type of lube that's odorless and colorless.
Speaker 1: So I could put it on his dick and suck
Speaker 1: his dick because I do this great thing with the
Speaker 1: twisty hands while you're sucking the day. Great move. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I know to suck dick uh and boil boy.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's just great, and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: not make it. I'm trying to really curtail my enthusiasm
Speaker 1: both really definitely publicly but also privately because I just
Speaker 1: don't want to get involved, you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to. I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to end up really liking him and falling
Speaker 1: for him. Well, I mean, but as long as it's mutual,
Speaker 1: that's okay. Yeah, but I and part of me is
Speaker 1: like Jesus Christ and he just got out of a relationship,
Speaker 1: even though I feel like mentally out of it. That's
Speaker 1: more importantly and also like kind of exploring who you
Speaker 1: are as an individual person outside of like you've been
Speaker 1: to another person. Yeah. Yeah, but that's been that's been good.
Speaker 1: It's just so god to have this healthy sexual relationship
Speaker 1: with someone. It's just ship. And then thank you. I
Speaker 1: wanted to say thank you because we haven't recorded an
Speaker 1: episode in a while, like I said, because the last
Speaker 1: three weeks we kind of recorded in one day. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much to everybody in Chicago who came out
Speaker 1: to uh the laugh House and to the taping of
Speaker 1: I'm Gonna be on True's um uh TV show called
Speaker 1: Oh my God, I'm brain farting laugh mob lay. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but uh when when I uh Cipher Sunds hosted and
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of the lineup, and I
Speaker 1: uh when I went out, uh, the audience was screaming
Speaker 1: so loud. It was all guys, we people in the
Speaker 1: crowd of course. Yeah, and like that just me just
Speaker 1: the people who come out to our live shows that like,
Speaker 1: it just means so much. And it made me so
Speaker 1: much better on the TV taping because it was just
Speaker 1: you come out to that. After it was just thank
Speaker 1: you so much for all all the listeners of this
Speaker 1: podcast for their support and just being great and I
Speaker 1: really really really appreciate it. Um and Yeah. I went
Speaker 1: to a friend's wedding, um my childhood friend, and she
Speaker 1: had everybody sign a bench like get instead of a
Speaker 1: guest book. And I woke up the next day it
Speaker 1: was embossed in her wedding. I woke up the next
Speaker 1: day and her twin brothers outside the hotel waiting for
Speaker 1: something to get picked up to go to the airport,
Speaker 1: and he was like, Katie's really pissed that you drew
Speaker 1: a dick on her bench, and I was like what,
Speaker 1: And then I realized I drew a giant dick on
Speaker 1: her bench, like really big, but it didn't cover anybody's signatures. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I offered it. I felt so bad. I'm like,
Speaker 1: who am I? That's so mean. I didn't do it
Speaker 1: just like child like I think it's just like you're too.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, it's sometimes it's hard to take,
Speaker 1: like to to realize that, like everyone doesn't want to
Speaker 1: be around comedian all the time. It's hard. It's even
Speaker 1: hard for me, like being in relationships with comedians. Uh,
Speaker 1: like they I can turn it off, but they a
Speaker 1: lot of times they can. A lot of people can't.
Speaker 1: And like that's a real like just oh yeah, someone
Speaker 1: who's always always terrible to be around. Yeah, that's sounds horrible.
Speaker 1: Did she forgive you? She did? I think she was
Speaker 1: like also, but also on the flip side, it's like,
Speaker 1: when you invite Christina Hutchinson to sign your bench, what
Speaker 1: are you think is going to happen? I know, but
Speaker 1: also I haven't seen her in a while, and she
Speaker 1: didn't know that you were in the dick drum business
Speaker 1: and I don't know a lot of weird stuff, like
Speaker 1: just women have been getting a lot of like people
Speaker 1: sign on my d M and be like and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, no I don't, but thank you for asking.
Speaker 1: You can always ask. I don't mind being at And
Speaker 1: one guy was like, uh he he like messaged me
Speaker 1: his phone number on Instagram and I just didn't respond
Speaker 1: back because I don't want to call you. Sorry, I'm good.
Speaker 1: And then he messaged me again and again and again
Speaker 1: like don't you know when he just a word to
Speaker 1: the wise, when someone doesn't hit you back, it's on purpose.
Speaker 1: Even if it's not on purpose, just fucking relax and uh.
Speaker 1: But then I said, like I said back, like I'm
Speaker 1: not interested because I was like, what do we always
Speaker 1: tell people to do? Be direct? So I said I'm
Speaker 1: not interested in. I really thought he was gonna hit
Speaker 1: me back with but he was like, okay, love the podcast.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, thank you, now I'll suck
Speaker 1: you just getting no no, no, I didn't, um, but
Speaker 1: yeah that may mean And then like this one like
Speaker 1: women have been hitting me up and I'm like, you
Speaker 1: know what, Okay, I'll try it. Like podcast listeners, no well, no,
Speaker 1: just people I know in my life. Okay. I was like, okay, no,
Speaker 1: I I don't I have gotten Um, I wish I
Speaker 1: was just getting people ask me to fund them. I
Speaker 1: just get people telling me that they love me that
Speaker 1: I don't really actually know that. Well, so that's like
Speaker 1: in love or just like I love like so that's
Speaker 1: a little I don't. I just don't know how standoffish
Speaker 1: you have to be, because I feel like I've done
Speaker 1: a pretty good job of being standoffish, and like, how
Speaker 1: much more stand offish does one need to be? And
Speaker 1: you know, how if I ever encounter like a cat
Speaker 1: or a dog who's like hates everybody, I'm like, you
Speaker 1: know of them, and then they want to hang out
Speaker 1: with you. So I feel like people maybe like the
Speaker 1: more you ignore and the more your standoffish, the more
Speaker 1: people are like, I'm gonna crack her code. Maybe I
Speaker 1: just give up, guys, Come on, it's just uncomfortable all around.
Speaker 1: Um anyway, uh, let's see. Oh yeah, I had a
Speaker 1: great vacation for in Los Angeles. I forgot that that
Speaker 1: had happened. God, that was literally like the best I
Speaker 1: haven't had that good of a time in a long
Speaker 1: time I hang out with just like a bunch of
Speaker 1: like straight dudes, because I realized once I got there,
Speaker 1: all my friends there are straight dudes, plus Blair and
Speaker 1: what she's kind of like a straight yeah yeah. And
Speaker 1: and my brother came down and I just didn't, I
Speaker 1: like didn't look. I think I charged my phone maybe
Speaker 1: like two or three times within like five days. That's
Speaker 1: how little I used it. I like lost it at
Speaker 1: times in the house, Like I just didn't look at it.
Speaker 1: And like, let me tell you, like social media is
Speaker 1: like a lot of phones in generally are like a
Speaker 1: lot of the root of like I think a lot
Speaker 1: of our problems, like us, meaning like young people. Um
Speaker 1: but anyway, uh yeah, I've had some personal stuff that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk about because I'm tired of
Speaker 1: talking about sex. But what I do want to talk
Speaker 1: about is suicide and all right, money. Um So it's
Speaker 1: been kind of a rough week as far as like
Speaker 1: taking people's own lives. Obviously, everyone heard about Kate Spade,
Speaker 1: the famous fashion designer um who fifty five hung herself
Speaker 1: in her bedroom. She had a thirteen year old child,
Speaker 1: she had a husband, uh you know, on the outside,
Speaker 1: had everything, and I thought an easy like the these
Speaker 1: times people were kind of more aware of suicide and
Speaker 1: like realized that it's a mental illness and that no
Speaker 1: one's just like I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna check out by hanging myself, and like it's
Speaker 1: so much more than a But I was like having
Speaker 1: a conversation with my friend last night and he literally
Speaker 1: and he's like really smart, wealthy person, um who's you know,
Speaker 1: built businesses and you know, has explored comedy. And he
Speaker 1: like actually said to me, I wish people like that
Speaker 1: would just look on the bright side more. And I
Speaker 1: was like yeah, and I was like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about? And it kind of made me realize instead
Speaker 1: of getting angry at him, I realized, it's just like
Speaker 1: a larger discussion that needs to be had because there
Speaker 1: is so much still talk when people commit suicide about
Speaker 1: how it's selfish, about how well, oh, if you want
Speaker 1: to do what you don't have a family, that's fine,
Speaker 1: but if you have kids then it's not. But it's like,
Speaker 1: I don't think you think that this isn't like a
Speaker 1: like a like a cognizant choice that people are making,
Speaker 1: Like you are so lost in your own thoughts, not
Speaker 1: making it about you. Guys. You are so you know
Speaker 1: when when someone dies of cancer, everyone's like, no, you
Speaker 1: can't die of cancer because you have a thirteen year
Speaker 1: old kid. Like that's the level, like your your mind is.
Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't I don't want to see
Speaker 1: broken because that sounds so negative, but it is like,
Speaker 1: you know what, your mind is broken, your traps in
Speaker 1: your own thoughts, there's no way to get out. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times also people who are
Speaker 1: suicidal think that the world and their family will be
Speaker 1: better without them. That's a common thing that I hear.
Speaker 1: So it's like you have my mom's you have to
Speaker 1: really keep that in mind. Um with suicide and and
Speaker 1: also just like it's it's so hacked. But like the
Speaker 1: notion that like when you have more money or your
Speaker 1: famous designer that things will be better. As someone who
Speaker 1: you've listened to things quote unquote get better, they are
Speaker 1: not getting better. Money has not helped. Like, yes, it's
Speaker 1: nice to like not live in a mouse infested apartment,
Speaker 1: but apart from that, like it's not better. There's just
Speaker 1: a new set of problems that you have to deal with,
Speaker 1: and more people wanting from you and you can trust
Speaker 1: people less. So that's it's just like it's just not
Speaker 1: it's just so inaccurate. Like I knew that before anything, um,
Speaker 1: because I'm obsessed with celebrity and I have read us
Speaker 1: so much about famous people and like so even if
Speaker 1: on this low level of success, it's still like that's
Speaker 1: not what's fixing it. Like like, ah, happiness is like
Speaker 1: it's coming, is an internal thing. Um, and then you know,
Speaker 1: going kind of going off from there. I had a
Speaker 1: friend from high school, uh who over the weekend over
Speaker 1: dosed on opioids. Uh. This is the third person from
Speaker 1: that friend circle to have a drug related death in
Speaker 1: the past I would say, like seven years. I kind
Speaker 1: of didn't even realize what a big issue it was
Speaker 1: because I'm kind of out here and living in my
Speaker 1: New York City bubble and um. But I talked to
Speaker 1: some other friends from Jersey who like have lost like
Speaker 1: almost every other friend I talked to you from Jersey
Speaker 1: had someone die uh from opioid addiction overdosing. Um, and Uh,
Speaker 1: it's like such it's such an epidemic. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: we don't worry. Jared Kushner is going to fix it.
Speaker 1: It's such and it's and it was what what the
Speaker 1: reason I went This is not even like a close friend,
Speaker 1: and we were close at times, like in middle school
Speaker 1: and high school, but it was just kind of interesting,
Speaker 1: and I did. I went to New Jersey to go
Speaker 1: to his his wake, and no one even like knew
Speaker 1: I don't even like it's you know, mom doesn't even
Speaker 1: know me, like we we haven't talked since like high school,
Speaker 1: like you know, besides online or something. But Number one,
Speaker 1: he just looked just like looking at someone in a coffin,
Speaker 1: like you can tell when it's open casket if that
Speaker 1: person died peacefully or in like agony. And there was
Speaker 1: just such agony. It was so brutal to look at Um.
Speaker 1: And I have this pattern in my life of people
Speaker 1: I've talked before about my friend who committed suicide who
Speaker 1: had kind of like reignited a friendship with me. Um
Speaker 1: then roofied me, then took his own life. And this
Speaker 1: person who died over the weekend had it was had
Speaker 1: a very similar relationship with me where we never talked
Speaker 1: in school because we were from different friends circles, but
Speaker 1: like after school, these were both people who like gravitated
Speaker 1: towards me who called me a lot. Uh. And we
Speaker 1: had this like friendship that existed outside of the walls
Speaker 1: of school with all the kind of like clicks and everything,
Speaker 1: because you know, I was like the main outcast and
Speaker 1: then everyone else was like these are like more like
Speaker 1: popular kids. Um. And I just think it's so interesting
Speaker 1: that this pattern in my life that like people who
Speaker 1: are like kind of struggling gravitate towards me with out
Speaker 1: actually telling me why they are gravitating towards me, and
Speaker 1: then I don't figure it out until like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I know their trouble, but then I don't
Speaker 1: figure it out until like they're dead. Um. And so
Speaker 1: it's just very weird. Uh. But anyway, like basically, if
Speaker 1: you're struggling, obviously pay, Like drugs are not the way
Speaker 1: to go. I know we talked about drug use a
Speaker 1: lot on here, but if you also, um, notice like I,
Speaker 1: especially with psychedelics, them only really careful to only use
Speaker 1: them when I'm in a good place, when I'm in
Speaker 1: a good mindset. Like right now, I'm still not in
Speaker 1: a good mindset. I'm still really like a lot of
Speaker 1: pain for my breakup, So I'm not using drugs right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm really like minimally drinking UM, and I think
Speaker 1: that's a pretty healthy way to go. Uh. And obviously
Speaker 1: if you are in trouble, there's also a suit. I
Speaker 1: think everyone talks about suicide hotlines. There's also a suicide
Speaker 1: text crisis line, which I think is great because we
Speaker 1: live in such a texting environment and I think it's
Speaker 1: just like young people today are not really looking to
Speaker 1: pick up the phone, But if you want to do
Speaker 1: the crisis text line, you can text uh connect the
Speaker 1: word connect c O N N E c T to
Speaker 1: seven four one, seven four one. In the United States,
Speaker 1: it's seven crisis text line. UM. And even if you're not, like,
Speaker 1: you know, holding the knife to your neck, you could
Speaker 1: still just call them and be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm in a bad place. Because I know some people
Speaker 1: don't have the money to sit down with a therapist,
Speaker 1: because that is like a luxury sometimes, but it's a
Speaker 1: very helpful thing to do. I don't just have someone
Speaker 1: who will respond to you right then and there, uh
Speaker 1: with some hopefully preventative measures and how kind of help
Speaker 1: you get through that moment, that day, that week, that month,
Speaker 1: whatever it is and that's it. Yeah, opioids. Man, I
Speaker 1: know a lot of people who funked up their lives
Speaker 1: on that. And I've heard a lot of stories of
Speaker 1: like I broke my ankle and I was a father
Speaker 1: of four and a lawyer and now I'm on the
Speaker 1: streets sucking dick for fucking heroin. Um and that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That just makes me jered. Cusher's not
Speaker 1: doing much. Um, okay you guys happy Pride, Yes we Uh.
Speaker 1: I want to personally apologize. I did not realize that
Speaker 1: the last episode was going out on the first day
Speaker 1: of Pride, and I would like panicked, and I emailed Christina.
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck? This is like everything
Speaker 1: that I care about And I didn't even remember that
Speaker 1: this first episode because I'm so fucking busy about going
Speaker 1: on vacations and don't where I'll never go on in
Speaker 1: one for like ten more years because I'm so mad
Speaker 1: at myself. Um. But uh yeah, So obviously we always
Speaker 1: like to do something special on guys. We fun for Pride.
Speaker 1: The LGBTQ community has been so great to us. We
Speaker 1: love them, we embrace them. Uh, And so we've done
Speaker 1: a bunch of gay panels in the past with you know,
Speaker 1: gay men, and we're like, you know what, lesbians are
Speaker 1: very fucking overlooked. I just want to shout out, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of great lesbian listeners. You guys come out.
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys are overlooked a lot not
Speaker 1: you know, maybe you're not the flashiest jazziest of the
Speaker 1: LGBTQ community, but we fucking love you. Today we have
Speaker 1: two comedians on. They are a married lesbian couple. Uh,
Speaker 1: we love them. This is such a great conversation. Please
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. Jess Solomon and Amman m Sani
Speaker 1: about a pregnancy to us and mbow hair clips at
Speaker 1: the lighted on Saturday night. I will so distused, I
Speaker 1: could cry, and that Elsie you are im. I'm spend
Speaker 1: the morning in cart because I rather live cop to
Speaker 1: Lord to smile, ow nice. I go back next sleep
Speaker 1: the power of Attorney in my board on Shine on Shine,
Speaker 1: Benyusome and Hi, I never sit here. This is a
Speaker 1: new perspective on the podcast. I don't I don't care,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter to me. Hello. Um yeah, so uh
Speaker 1: well it's Pride month and so obviously we're ring all
Speaker 1: the LGBTQ comics, which I know is must be so
Speaker 1: fucking irritating. But also we were kind of talking and
Speaker 1: we've had like I have a very like close group
Speaker 1: of gay mail friends, and I feel like that's very
Speaker 1: common for straight women. And I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: trans people are getting a lot of um, you know,
Speaker 1: attention these days, and then I feel like lesbians are
Speaker 1: honestly constantly overlooked, and I thought, I think that sucks.
Speaker 1: And I also was trying to think of it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe it's because lesbians are like stereotypically
Speaker 1: less flashy, like you know, it's not it's not a
Speaker 1: lot of glitz and glam going on. You're not like
Speaker 1: I'm here hello. Yeah, it's more like just regular functioning
Speaker 1: relations ships, which is, you know, sometimes boring to other people.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's just talk to two comedians who
Speaker 1: are married. But do I identify as lesbian? Because I know,
Speaker 1: like some like Jessica Curison, for instance, I thought she
Speaker 1: identified as lesbian and does not. She's married to a woman,
Speaker 1: what does she identify as something out bisexually, I'm not sure,
Speaker 1: but like, yes, it was very interesting to her and
Speaker 1: she was like, yeah, no, like I am. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's like I am married to a woman, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily make me a lesbian. I think she's been
Speaker 1: married to more than woman. Um yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: guess I always identified as bi sexual. Um and I
Speaker 1: used to do a lot more material about bisexuality on stage,
Speaker 1: but now I've been married to Iman for a while
Speaker 1: that I don't know. I just like I I sometimes
Speaker 1: just identify as lesbian or if people identify me that way,
Speaker 1: it just makes sense. It's just it's tiring, ex Blaine,
Speaker 1: because I mean, I don't think your sexual orientation um
Speaker 1: expires necessarily just because you're in a monogamous relationship one
Speaker 1: way or the other. But um, I mean yeah, And
Speaker 1: and bisexuality is a weird one where people are constantly
Speaker 1: like prove it, Like when when was the last time
Speaker 1: you sucked the guy? We don't believe. I've heard that
Speaker 1: a lot by friends of Like I'm always being either
Speaker 1: called like greedy or undecided. I'm like you could like both.
Speaker 1: Damn people who are not straight, it's so like just
Speaker 1: criticized on their sexuality and just all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think people definitely feel like it's something that you're
Speaker 1: not if you're someone who is now married to a woman.
Speaker 1: I think people just feel like, why don't you just
Speaker 1: identify as lesbian? I just and I don't want to
Speaker 1: have to prove stuff, and I just it's just easier
Speaker 1: to just identify as lesbian. But I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't know the term lesbian I think still has Maybe
Speaker 1: we grew up kind of feeling like it was something
Speaker 1: you know, and and maybe I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: the thing with Jessica is with with Jessica Carson, But um,
Speaker 1: I do think it's I don't know. I think, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: growing up, I think the term lesbian was like something
Speaker 1: very negative and very like anything specific about it. I mean,
Speaker 1: it just always had this connotation of um, like I
Speaker 1: guess it was very like yeah with with like yeah
Speaker 1: with like and also like feminists, like radical feminism, femin in.
Speaker 1: I think, like, you know, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: like like like kind of like quotes kind of like
Speaker 1: that's what almost like a spinster who is never going
Speaker 1: to get I feel like that's like it's used as
Speaker 1: some kind of like an insult. It's used towards me
Speaker 1: as an insult, and I'm like I wish because you
Speaker 1: guys are terrible. I wish, but I now I just
Speaker 1: feel like it's true. And the other thing is I mean,
Speaker 1: and this is a more modern, um maybe issue with
Speaker 1: the word. And then this comes from the whole trans movement,
Speaker 1: is that there is a group of um like radical
Speaker 1: I don't want to even call them lesbians, like they're
Speaker 1: just this group that existing. I guess every group has
Speaker 1: them on the internet at these very horrible, bigoted people
Speaker 1: who are lesbian women who don't believe that trans women
Speaker 1: are women. So that like and then there's a lot
Speaker 1: of like lesbians who maybe date non binary like people
Speaker 1: who maybe have female body parts, And so when they
Speaker 1: say I'm a lesbian means that they're putting they're also
Speaker 1: putting that person as a woman, like they're bi you
Speaker 1: know what, by saying they're in a lesbian relationships like
Speaker 1: and that person isn't a woman. So it's like so
Speaker 1: there's like there's those are the more like there's the
Speaker 1: old school stuff of like how we grew up thinking
Speaker 1: like the word lesbian was like like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm just bisexual or whatever, or I'm queer, I'm gay
Speaker 1: or whatever, but not lesbian. It sounds so not fun
Speaker 1: and like like lecture you about you know, Birken socks
Speaker 1: or whatever. But yeah, like feminism too, like we always
Speaker 1: talk about just a brand lesbians. Yeah, exactly, and but
Speaker 1: now today there's like stuff wrapped up in it politically.
Speaker 1: That's always fascinating to me, how much other people care
Speaker 1: what other people are doing, like the like a group
Speaker 1: of women on on the internet that are like trans
Speaker 1: women aren't women who gives up? Whoever? Anybody is Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're yea, why don't you worry about yourself? Totally.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like it comes from this
Speaker 1: place of yeah, I guess they feel like they're like
Speaker 1: letting allowing men in somehow. I don't know. There was
Speaker 1: a there was an episode of Transparent. That's what I'm
Speaker 1: going to mention. I don't know if you guys saw it.
Speaker 1: Where did you watch that show at all? No? No,
Speaker 1: I've heard great things about it. But then there was
Speaker 1: the me too incident, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: need to start now. Yeah, I got it in before
Speaker 1: that happened. I was like, that's what TV show I
Speaker 1: don't have to watch. But they're keeping He's he's keeping
Speaker 1: his role. Why, I don't know. Yeah, apparently they're not
Speaker 1: going to fire him. I don't know. For whatever reason,
Speaker 1: I got red enough about it to comment. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just heard that he's going to keep
Speaker 1: his job. I don't need to know in order to comment. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I know. I try because if we say something and
Speaker 1: we miss quote to get a fact wrong, we'll hear
Speaker 1: about it, which I kind of like because then it
Speaker 1: forces me to be on my toes. But it's good. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: I got a note. But like the second season, I
Speaker 1: couldn't watch that show anymore. Oh. Yeah, there was an
Speaker 1: episode where Jeffrey Tambor goes to this sort of um
Speaker 1: feminist like what Star in the Woods, and a lot
Speaker 1: of women are naked and it's not a lesbian thing,
Speaker 1: but there are a lot of lesbians and some old
Speaker 1: school um feminists and and part of the rule was
Speaker 1: that you couldn't be a trans woman. He didn't realize that,
Speaker 1: and he went with his daughter and and then someone
Speaker 1: told them and they had like, yeah, it just became
Speaker 1: it was a part of the storyline basically, But yeah,
Speaker 1: it just happen at like Dike marches and stuff. You'll
Speaker 1: see these groups. There's not it's not again like the
Speaker 1: majority of people or anything, but there's a small section
Speaker 1: every kind of person. It was just so surprising because
Speaker 1: out of all of them, like gay groups, you feel
Speaker 1: like lesbians are like the most supportive an accepting, but
Speaker 1: I guess not. Yeah, every every room had to play
Speaker 1: Devil's actigad. I think I think some of the concern
Speaker 1: is like, Okay, so for women who are born women,
Speaker 1: you're treated as a woman all your life, and then uh,
Speaker 1: for trans women, even if you are inside a woman
Speaker 1: your entire life, you are still not treated as a
Speaker 1: woman because you're presenting as a man and that's a
Speaker 1: different life experience. And then when you just fully when
Speaker 1: you transition, you know, say you transition at there's kind
Speaker 1: of a lot of uh like baggage that you passed by.
Speaker 1: Of course, you have your own different baggage from being
Speaker 1: like the wrong body. But I think that's I think
Speaker 1: that's where it's coming from discussions. I've I've had not
Speaker 1: a bitterness. It's just like you've you've still gone through
Speaker 1: your life because you are presenting as a male getting
Speaker 1: male privilege. You know, it's it kind of is like,
Speaker 1: I mean, people hate to like bring in like a
Speaker 1: Rachel dolig All, but it is It's not like like
Speaker 1: she went through her life as a white person and
Speaker 1: then just start addressing as if she was African American.
Speaker 1: So it's like even if she felt that, which is
Speaker 1: a different thing, she still went through her life being
Speaker 1: treated as a white, blonde lady, which is a much
Speaker 1: different experience. So like, I don't know, like if there's
Speaker 1: like more radical lesbians I have who are just like mad,
Speaker 1: but I think, like when I've had conversations with people
Speaker 1: who have trouble with it, I think that's where the
Speaker 1: trouble lies. And I do understand that because it is difference.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you talk to people who transitioned later in
Speaker 1: life UM specifically talking about UM male to female, there
Speaker 1: is kind of a disconnect in that they Even Caitlyn
Speaker 1: Jenner made some comments UM like about being treated or
Speaker 1: like uh talked about like you know, she's like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: this is weird, Like everyone talks about my outfit all
Speaker 1: the time now, and you're like, yeah, this is was
Speaker 1: like being a woman Like so those parts, those aesthetic
Speaker 1: parts of being a woman, you're not going to know
Speaker 1: until you're outwardly presenting as one, because people wouldn't treat
Speaker 1: you like people treat how they see and if you're
Speaker 1: passing someone on the street, you don't know, yeah what
Speaker 1: I mean, let's not like get your as them out
Speaker 1: like you know, there's like there's a difference between. But
Speaker 1: when you talk about like how come maybe people don't
Speaker 1: talk about lesbians that much, it's well, because none of
Speaker 1: us are men and never were, and so of course
Speaker 1: no one's talking about because if you're taking men in
Speaker 1: any form out of the equation, you know, nobody cares. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean like and also it's like, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: the thing about being a lesbian. It's like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: we're basically saying like and that's the thing that people
Speaker 1: you know, maybe don't like or not interested. It's like, well, no,
Speaker 1: men are not part of her. But I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to be friends with him. But but I don't need them,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not Their gaze isn't part of my life.
Speaker 1: They're not weird because of maybe the I think I've
Speaker 1: always I find mostly it's men are more like titlated,
Speaker 1: but I mean maybe less, but like definitely when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I mean, yeah, or more like like they're
Speaker 1: more cited by it, maybe because them being involved, though, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's guys, we're both feminine had been with men.
Speaker 1: My friend, my one friend who's just like tall, blonde,
Speaker 1: like mermaid modelesque, she recently got into relationship with a woman,
Speaker 1: and I remember we went out to a bar. We
Speaker 1: went to a bar after a show, and this dude,
Speaker 1: these this fucking dude kept going up to both of
Speaker 1: them like, hey, what are you doing? And the other girl,
Speaker 1: my friend's girlfriend, was like, she's not interested, she's okay,
Speaker 1: so you and he wouldn't take her like whoa, that's cute,
Speaker 1: Like oh no, no, no no. And it made me
Speaker 1: so fucking infuriated. I can't imagine getting that all the
Speaker 1: fucking time. Make me hate men truly? For sure? Where
Speaker 1: were we? Where were we that that happened to us?
Speaker 1: We were like obviously having an intimate dinner, like you're
Speaker 1: just like talking just me and her, not you know,
Speaker 1: not looking at anything, having a good time, just like whatever.
Speaker 1: And this guy just he couldn't handle it. He it
Speaker 1: in hand all that we were having a good time
Speaker 1: without him being a part of it. He came to interrupt, Oh,
Speaker 1: you guys are so cute. Let me take a picture
Speaker 1: of you animals, like, they'll take it four because we're
Speaker 1: so adorable, like I saw two lesbians in the wild,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And we're like okay, thank you. So
Speaker 1: he takes the pictures and he's like oh. Then he
Speaker 1: like keeps pacing and we're just like okay, we're really
Speaker 1: trying to just finish our ger, you know. And he
Speaker 1: came to sit down and he's like, let me tell
Speaker 1: you about the electors. Was like, you were like, we
Speaker 1: have one, we're married. We are It's true exactly. He's like, getterat.
Speaker 1: He's like, you guys should get a room. Were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're married, we have one, and you just talk. We're
Speaker 1: just talking, sitting down talking, even if you were making out.
Speaker 1: We were being like, for sure intimate and coupiie. But
Speaker 1: it's because like leave us alone, you know. Then he
Speaker 1: started Yeah. There were a couple more steps before he
Speaker 1: like lunched into something about so get a room, and
Speaker 1: then he took I'll take a picture. You guys are
Speaker 1: just too adorable, and then he literally just sat down
Speaker 1: at the table and started talking to us about the
Speaker 1: election and why Hillary Clinton is awful, where like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, read your audience, like that doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: the right conversation. He was just terrible and everywhere, and
Speaker 1: then she was just like oh thank god. And then
Speaker 1: he just kind of didn't know what to do. And
Speaker 1: then he started saying no, no, no, I think she's
Speaker 1: really great too, whatever, and I was like, okay, anyway, yeah,
Speaker 1: just it wasn't it was like one of these like
Speaker 1: you know, they're both kind of the same. It was
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like he said something like yeah, but
Speaker 1: which was also he sat down at who does that?
Speaker 1: But I think that brings it to the points at
Speaker 1: the beginning of the podcast of just saying being a
Speaker 1: lesbian just sounds so awful. You're always so turned off,
Speaker 1: And I think it's because being a lesbian means you
Speaker 1: don't need a man, and that's why it's a negative
Speaker 1: saying yeah, it doesn't mean you don't like man. You
Speaker 1: don't need them. You really don't need them in your life.
Speaker 1: They're not a part of you know, like you you
Speaker 1: have them in your life because you as a choice,
Speaker 1: because they're here, because they're here and you have friends
Speaker 1: and whatever yeah, but it's Yeah, I feel like the
Speaker 1: kind of guy that feels not included in the conversation,
Speaker 1: feels the need to sit down at the table, does that.
Speaker 1: It's also the kind of guy who says lesbians hate men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like the problems him. Yeah, can't see that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like men who have problems with women. And
Speaker 1: then so like a woman choosing another woman is like
Speaker 1: another like just punch. It's like this is it's this
Speaker 1: pattern of people taking things personally that like are not
Speaker 1: about them at all at all, which as comedians we
Speaker 1: all are very familiar with. Yeah, constantly, I don't think
Speaker 1: with your vagina. That was the whole thing about voting
Speaker 1: for Hillary. You're voting with you or don't think with you?
Speaker 1: And I mean, are you kidding me? The Donald Trump,
Speaker 1: it's just like it's just about voting with your dick
Speaker 1: and your supported or your white skin absolutely orange. So
Speaker 1: it's like whatever they're saying about you, it's basically exactly
Speaker 1: who they are, you know, people projecting their insecurities constantly
Speaker 1: and their self hatred for themselves. Yeah, are going to
Speaker 1: vote a little bit with your vagina, Like it's a
Speaker 1: big part of who you are. I don't even think
Speaker 1: that's negative. Like that's why I you know, voting with
Speaker 1: your dick. It's like, okay, well it's a part of you.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be all of you. I think they just mean, like,
Speaker 1: don't leave, don't But it's insulting because they think we're
Speaker 1: voting for someone just because she's she's a chick. I'm like,
Speaker 1: there's plenty of terrible women in this worst and I'd
Speaker 1: be happy to point but that doesn't matter. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: go for Jill Green. What, um, the Republican one from
Speaker 1: Alaska Stein, Yeah, or the woman queen. Whenever there's like
Speaker 1: a story about a female murderer, I'm like, see, guys,
Speaker 1: we can do it too. It's kind of like I'm
Speaker 1: always like, whoever she killed probably deserved that. I think
Speaker 1: no woman somebody exactly, you know, do to get there emotionally?
Speaker 1: Have you? So? Have you both dated men in the past.
Speaker 1: So Jess is my first real relationship, and uh with
Speaker 1: with anyone in general. So I always I always just
Speaker 1: really like kind of fooled around before strictly with men,
Speaker 1: and then um the fooling around. I went to her afterwards,
Speaker 1: and then I married her. Have you guys have so
Speaker 1: much better comedy? And then there was a start, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we had because you speaking of me? Did you with
Speaker 1: a second? So? I identified for the longest time as straight,
Speaker 1: and then her closeted lesbian while I was hurt with
Speaker 1: her for like a couple of years. I wasn't homophone.
Speaker 1: But you made a lot of jokes about lesbian. I
Speaker 1: made a lot of jokes about everybody. Okay, well maybe
Speaker 1: because so was it ever like a thought that you
Speaker 1: had that you never because so curious because I was
Speaker 1: telling Jess, I was like, I always identify as straight,
Speaker 1: but I was like, maybe I just haven't the white
Speaker 1: the right woman, but I to the white woman. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not statistic the person would be white, but like
Speaker 1: really white, just like me, like the paliss motherfucker on
Speaker 1: the planet. Um but how like, so, how do you
Speaker 1: just how do you how did you how do you
Speaker 1: even start? Who initiated? How do you know who it was? Um?
Speaker 1: So I did I ever think about it? I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was I always had like gay friends and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, was a gay bars all the time. And
Speaker 1: it's true that I made a lot of lesbian And
Speaker 1: also she has a lot of like French friends and
Speaker 1: French women, you know, Quebec baby, they fell around anyway,
Speaker 1: So I was always I was always a gay collapse,
Speaker 1: like very pro gay. But it's true that I made
Speaker 1: fun of lesbians and gay men. I mean, Philip felt
Speaker 1: like I bullied him all of my life anyway, childhood
Speaker 1: friends anyway. Um so I never really thought about it,
Speaker 1: but I had a lot of straight girlfriends who fooled
Speaker 1: around with women. They're all like married with kids and anyway,
Speaker 1: when when they brought that up, I was just like
Speaker 1: really surprised. Since I'm a comedian, I'm like, I'm practically
Speaker 1: a lesbian. I cannot believe that I haven't fooled around
Speaker 1: with a woman, while these like women who are married
Speaker 1: are like all over that chat. Anyway, So it started,
Speaker 1: and there weren't a lot of gay people on the scene.
Speaker 1: Jess was one of them, and I love red Head,
Speaker 1: so it's sort of like I looked at her in
Speaker 1: a different light that I had to say, because we
Speaker 1: knew each other for like two years before anything did
Speaker 1: that conversation with your straight married friend saw Jess. It
Speaker 1: just coincided with the next time seeing Jess with her
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend I'll never forget. At the comedy club where
Speaker 1: I worked at, Jess was there with her ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: and I just saw her in a different light where
Speaker 1: Jess was sitting next to her girlfriend and she just
Speaker 1: put her hand on her leg and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's kinda she's kind of sexy. I've never seen her
Speaker 1: that way before, you know, um, so I think it,
Speaker 1: so I put, I didn't see her sexy from the beginning.
Speaker 1: Is that what surprising? No? No, that well, I never
Speaker 1: saw you like that either. Anyway, I said that I
Speaker 1: used to be very like flirty and stuff. I guess
Speaker 1: she's still yeah, big time. I mean, it's unbelievable. She
Speaker 1: started dates all the time. Well now it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: but I used to do that all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just friends, we're gonna talk about comedy now. Once we
Speaker 1: were on the road together, it was one of the
Speaker 1: first times that we worked together, um in comedy. Were
Speaker 1: in Halifax and after just went on first and she
Speaker 1: did her set and this girl came to like compliment
Speaker 1: her set, and I'm standing right there and the girls
Speaker 1: like that was so great. It just like you smell
Speaker 1: really good. And I was like, like I had to
Speaker 1: compliment her. But I said that the girls and I'm like,
Speaker 1: should I leave, Like, should I leave you too alone? Anyway,
Speaker 1: she went to the bar with her and they she
Speaker 1: bought you a drink and I'm like, it's a good
Speaker 1: thing that I'm going on stage. I'll give you privacy.
Speaker 1: I know she did. She went up on stage so
Speaker 1: I can have some time alone. So you had like
Speaker 1: half an hour. Now, I'm like, just not surprised, you know,
Speaker 1: she's just I know it because I went on a
Speaker 1: date with a guy. I didn't realize it was a date,
Speaker 1: but it was when we were not married. So now
Speaker 1: that we're married, it's easier because I say my wife,
Speaker 1: but when I would say my girlfriend, they just thought
Speaker 1: my girlfriend. Yeah. That was also I called my girl
Speaker 1: friends my girlfriends all time. Yeah. Once I realized we
Speaker 1: were I was a date date, Um than I was. Well.
Speaker 1: I told her, I'm like, every single time should go
Speaker 1: out with somebody, I'm like, you know, you're going on
Speaker 1: a date right now. Like she called me from Ottawa
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, this girl, this fan is
Speaker 1: coming to pick me up. We're going to this gay party.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what you're actually going on? A date.
Speaker 1: Do you know she's coming to pick you up? Are
Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me? Anyway? So I'm used to it,
Speaker 1: but she does. I always joked that she has uh
Speaker 1: going down on your resting face? Does it? She? I
Speaker 1: mean resting going down on your face, resting going down
Speaker 1: on your face. That's her face, her rest think face
Speaker 1: is going down on you like she just like her
Speaker 1: tongue is out of her mouth the time. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a disaster. Are you guys monoonymous? Okay, Okay, I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't know those accidents. Yeah, yeah, I feel like, um,
Speaker 1: have you been eating out by guys in your life? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How about you better? Are women at it? And that's
Speaker 1: just my hunch. I don't know. Honestly. I tried it
Speaker 1: just a girl once and is really easy though to come.
Speaker 1: I'm the easiest person, so that's why I could. I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't say that guys are just as better, honestly,
Speaker 1: because some guys doesn't take much. So that are fucking
Speaker 1: incredible of it. But I would imagine the one time
Speaker 1: I went down on a woman, I was so nervous.
Speaker 1: I was like, I should know what I'm doing because
Speaker 1: I have one, and she was like, that was great,
Speaker 1: but it was only for like twenty seconds, so like
Speaker 1: you should have kept going. Yeah, scared, Yeah, sometimes it's scary.
Speaker 1: It's fifteen minutes maybe even Yeah, but how long going
Speaker 1: to take you? Because you're easy, you're easy to to
Speaker 1: learn stuff to come. I could. I'm a very very
Speaker 1: quick realize under. I could be under. Okay, it's like
Speaker 1: your shortest. Yeah, it depends. Yeah, it depends on the
Speaker 1: warm up. It's magical vagina, especially with especially with oral sex.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like that's just the easiest way
Speaker 1: to come because it just feels so great. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not preferred message. That's not me. Yeah that we're not
Speaker 1: really that gay because I feel like everybody thinks, lets
Speaker 1: me it's just scissor and go down on each other.
Speaker 1: Scissoring isn't even a real it's not a real. Okay,
Speaker 1: it sounds fun like we've done that. First way of
Speaker 1: masturbating was humping everything, and then and then when I
Speaker 1: saw Born. Of course it's all directed and made by dude,
Speaker 1: so it's just chick scissoring. But I'm like, that comes
Speaker 1: sounds fun. Yeah, it is, it's good, but it's not
Speaker 1: the main thing I'm going down. That's why we don't
Speaker 1: think we're really I'm more of a penetration person. Penetration
Speaker 1: all the peg um. Yeah like where yeah, scrap on?
Speaker 1: Yeah is it? Yeah, it's called pegging. I guess I'm
Speaker 1: always thinking it's like I guess I always associated pegging
Speaker 1: with a girl doing that to a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: is it still pegging? One girl? Girl does it to
Speaker 1: a girl, like I don't know, you never really call it. Well,
Speaker 1: we have names for the things that we say, Leo,
Speaker 1: what you call the yeah is that. I don't know
Speaker 1: how we picked out all my plant, this dentist, the plant,
Speaker 1: so you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: how we picked I can't remember multiple dildos passed with others,
Speaker 1: but what was the one right before? But we had
Speaker 1: to get rid of that one. That what we called it,
Speaker 1: because you probably used it with a million people, not
Speaker 1: a million, but other girls. I can't remember. We had
Speaker 1: one before and then we bought LEO together. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: one the one that I yeah, but maybe that's right.
Speaker 1: And then I couldn't what I hadn't I did not
Speaker 1: I was about to say, I couldn't get like a
Speaker 1: real life skin looking one, so we went with purple.
Speaker 1: I just couldn't deal with that. Yeah, with the one
Speaker 1: that looks realistic. Yeah, yeah, I didn't want that because
Speaker 1: that's not that's not part of the that was my
Speaker 1: only thing. So we got you find Dick's repulsive. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm so yes, I was gonna say so. I went
Speaker 1: from being straight thinking I was straight, to closeted lesbian
Speaker 1: for like a couple of years. Closet. It was a
Speaker 1: completely new identity for me to embrace, to be like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I fell in love with her. I
Speaker 1: thought we were going to fool around a couple of
Speaker 1: times and that's set. But now head over here with
Speaker 1: somebody else. She was totally a lot of somebody else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I told her, like both of them, but both of us.
Speaker 1: We were sort of like. She was just like, by
Speaker 1: the way, if this girl comes back for when she
Speaker 1: was married and I was having this affair and it
Speaker 1: had to end, and she three generations of cheater, by
Speaker 1: the way, the third generation, her father and her grandmother cheaters.
Speaker 1: This is what I'm dealing with. It's in your DNA.
Speaker 1: It was the woman that you were having affair, was
Speaker 1: married to a woman or a woman a woman but
Speaker 1: she had young kids. Anyway, it was like lass than
Speaker 1: about a year, and I was just kind of going
Speaker 1: through that. Only you were waiting for her to maybe
Speaker 1: she would. Yeah, I mean we broke up, but I
Speaker 1: still held but hope. Well, it's nice to know that
Speaker 1: are dumb like that too. Yeah, yeah, she left her.
Speaker 1: She ended up leaving her wife eventually, but only once
Speaker 1: we were getting married. She did she have in mind?
Speaker 1: I mean she just came back. She came back around
Speaker 1: like a couple of months ago though. Yeah, but that
Speaker 1: was because she was she was in New York and
Speaker 1: she again back to the perfeme. She's not somebody with
Speaker 1: the same perfeme as me, And she let me know.
Speaker 1: She's like, isn't that she's we could all go out
Speaker 1: for coffee or a drink together. I'm like, she smells
Speaker 1: your perfume, she's flirting with you. She's just like testing
Speaker 1: the water that right, Yeah, she thought she's not She's
Speaker 1: really like, does not she really stayed away though? She didn't?
Speaker 1: That was like one message in like three years or
Speaker 1: did she know that you were with you? Like we're
Speaker 1: married Okay. Now, so she never came back and was like,
Speaker 1: you know, she wanted to she could get away with
Speaker 1: flirting with you exactly. I don't know, so rewind server Wind.
Speaker 1: We don't talk. I mean, this is like if you
Speaker 1: and I were dating, because I'm so naive to everything. A.
Speaker 1: Karen's like, no, this is what she meant when she
Speaker 1: said that. I'm like, yeah, that's probably possible. So how
Speaker 1: we hooked up? Um, I had just ended things with
Speaker 1: the married woman. I know, it's all like it was
Speaker 1: very depressing. At the bar in the comedy the comedy
Speaker 1: club in Montreal at the time that existed that Eman worked.
Speaker 1: We all hung around there. They had a bar downstairs
Speaker 1: and the comedy club upstairs, so the bar downstairs was
Speaker 1: a big hang and um, we were all drinking. I
Speaker 1: was depressed because of like having to break things up
Speaker 1: with a married lady because she wanted to give her marriage.
Speaker 1: Were really like work on her marriage. Um. We have
Speaker 1: a common friend, a common friend of comedian Montreal named Massimo, who, like,
Speaker 1: if you can, looks like a Massimo. He looks like
Speaker 1: a Belushi brother, like really Italian. Yeah, I think we've
Speaker 1: heard of seen him in Montreal. He's very funny, very funny,
Speaker 1: good friend. His father had just passed away. Father had
Speaker 1: just died, So he's drinking. Emon and Massimo have this
Speaker 1: thing where they like, we used to full around and
Speaker 1: then um so so they maybe started fooling around, and
Speaker 1: then he started kissing me, and he was basically trying
Speaker 1: to have a threesome with us. And that's what put
Speaker 1: the idea in my head of Iman, who had always
Speaker 1: known as straight. And I was really busy with my
Speaker 1: whole affair and that was like harassing me and I
Speaker 1: had to get a restraining order, and so I was
Speaker 1: very busy with my own stuff. So I didn't really
Speaker 1: think of her in that way because she was straight.
Speaker 1: So it was really just massimal, like introducing the idea
Speaker 1: of a threesome that even sparked the whole Well, that's
Speaker 1: how he was like, why kiss God? Damn it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we thanked him at our wedding. Did we do it
Speaker 1: on our on our Friday night? Did you not in
Speaker 1: front of our parents? Now we are going to fuck,
Speaker 1: but we will you go home? Well exactly, So we
Speaker 1: didn't need him in the end of the whole thing,
Speaker 1: but he didn't need him. Yeah, but when you were
Speaker 1: your first time having sex with a woman, Like what,
Speaker 1: and did you tell her we were hammered? I mean
Speaker 1: I was hammered. Yeah. So now it was like we
Speaker 1: were always at this bar. It was always a party
Speaker 1: time at the comedy works, so we would be drinking
Speaker 1: all the time. So we fooled around and then I
Speaker 1: um one of the nights I just basically like was
Speaker 1: so drunk and I was like, oh, She's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll put you in a cab and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know where I live. And then I was like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I forgot exactly, thank you. Meanwhile, she's still in this
Speaker 1: that she really couldn't remember I promised you I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I was so hammered when I tell you,
Speaker 1: I used to work at that bar from four o'clock
Speaker 1: in the afternoon until liked I drink for like eight
Speaker 1: hours and like vodka. It was like it was deadly.
Speaker 1: It was that how I'm still alive today is unbelievable anyway.
Speaker 1: But of course it was like a combination of like
Speaker 1: having feelings for her but not being confused and not
Speaker 1: knowing what to do, and like subconsciously I obviously wanted
Speaker 1: to like fool around with her. I knew I did
Speaker 1: not know anything. Oh my god, she had to I mean,
Speaker 1: how terrible was that? Curious about? This is another reason?
Speaker 1: This isn't another reason why I never thought that I
Speaker 1: was a lesbian. Was like so terrible with my hands,
Speaker 1: not to be stereotypical, like I'm just not a hands
Speaker 1: straight men. Yeah, so I'm like a straight guy trapped
Speaker 1: in a lesbian's body. I don't know, I don't know
Speaker 1: what it is, but I'm like not. So there was
Speaker 1: there was no indication that I could have been until
Speaker 1: that whole thing sparked with Jess in my thirties. Like
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I was like, how old? What
Speaker 1: is it? You? Disaster? Horrible coming out at thirty when
Speaker 1: you didn't even know you didn't even have that. But
Speaker 1: I didn't have time for it was really the first
Speaker 1: couple of years because she kept breaking up with me
Speaker 1: every dyear and I was like a man. So we
Speaker 1: were in the closet in comedy other than like two
Speaker 1: or three close close friends, um for four years. We
Speaker 1: only told people when we posted that we were aged
Speaker 1: on Facebook. Well yeah, here in New York, I came.
Speaker 1: I didn't care. I wasn't really closeted in New York,
Speaker 1: was I? I mean New York love it knew me,
Speaker 1: you know difference. We were at the Grizzly Pair on
Speaker 1: like a Sunday afternoon at a mike the first time,
Speaker 1: and she just got up and just started talking about it, right, like,
Speaker 1: I guess we're out of the first person you told?
Speaker 1: Do you guys know Liz Glazer? Did you? Yeah? It
Speaker 1: was Liz Glazer so easy to talk to. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: we just randomly met her at this bike and then
Speaker 1: that's when you started. And I was like, what we're doing? Yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: that's fun. Yeah. Um, but it took so it took
Speaker 1: me a while. So thirty, So first of all, I
Speaker 1: had to come to terms that. So we fool around
Speaker 1: drunk at her house, wake up the next day. She's like,
Speaker 1: by the way, if that woman comes back for me,
Speaker 1: like I'm going to be in a relationship with her,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, first of all, I really thought we
Speaker 1: were going to fool around like a couple of times,
Speaker 1: you psycho, you know, so um anyway, but then, I
Speaker 1: mean two months in, I was like head over heels, honestly,
Speaker 1: It took like two months of us fooling around, and
Speaker 1: we knew that we were going to fool around more
Speaker 1: because I work at a bar. Were drunk all the time.
Speaker 1: We're drinking all the time. It was like the hang
Speaker 1: of the town. Yeah, exactly, we're there. We're there all
Speaker 1: the time. But then when I fell in love with her,
Speaker 1: that's when it's I started really like going in panic mode.
Speaker 1: So for a year, I would just break up with
Speaker 1: her like every two seconds because I'm like I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do, Like how how could you be
Speaker 1: the first person I fell in love with in my
Speaker 1: life and you know, the first woman and the first woman,
Speaker 1: and now it's like just my whole identity was like
Speaker 1: flipped around comedy too, and my comedy was like super
Speaker 1: it was starting to like record TV stuff and it's
Speaker 1: all persona plus all these Arab gigs and all of
Speaker 1: her comedies. I'm get hired. But exactly, it was horrible.
Speaker 1: I imagine like coming out as a lesbian doesn't get
Speaker 1: you more Arab gigs now exactly, Arabi Italian gigs or
Speaker 1: any of those gigs that I would always get, and
Speaker 1: like these freaking suburbs, these ethnic gigs. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lose everything. And I had just started, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're five of my career. I had just started, like
Speaker 1: it started launching. I got just for laughs, I got
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff at TV special, the whole thing.
Speaker 1: So the timing was horrible. Um, And then coming out
Speaker 1: to my parents, I'm like, forgetting my parents were never
Speaker 1: going to have to lead with their sexuality, Like in
Speaker 1: a comedian sense, it's like, oh, if you're less, then
Speaker 1: you're lesbian comic. No, you're fucking comic. People are so
Speaker 1: unable to the on something that's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And so she didn't want that. She wanted to become
Speaker 1: famous and mainstream. I wanted to be famous in mainstream.
Speaker 1: And I don't forget when I started comedy, like over
Speaker 1: ten years ago, I'm surrounded by comedy club owners who
Speaker 1: are overtly sexist and racist, who like repeatedly say that
Speaker 1: women are not funny, who hate Arabs and Muslims, tell
Speaker 1: me not to open up with like my Muslim identity
Speaker 1: off the top because it turns people off. Like this
Speaker 1: is how I got my training at the beginning of
Speaker 1: my career. So I'm like an owners told you to
Speaker 1: not to the main two that I knew, so it
Speaker 1: was the guy that I worked for and and the
Speaker 1: guy at the comedy club in the next time. Definitely,
Speaker 1: there's been some changes in the last few so now interesting,
Speaker 1: so you have to hide that or like press that.
Speaker 1: And then when you started falling for Jess, you had
Speaker 1: to press that down because now like lesbian muslim is
Speaker 1: like Jack, Well, I kept telling her you ruined my
Speaker 1: career when I met her because like nobody's gonna hire me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, it's over, and that's why I
Speaker 1: got that Pride gig. That's good for you, Okay, good anyway,
Speaker 1: So the whole thing a woman of color who's also
Speaker 1: gay jous. Yeah, well that's why for a long time beginning,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wonder if she's like a massad agent
Speaker 1: that was like from Israel to ruin my career because
Speaker 1: this Palacine girls about to become a star, so she
Speaker 1: came to sabotage my career to have the self esteem problem.
Speaker 1: You never know, party wine scene was using massad agents,
Speaker 1: so it's impossible black why it should because it was
Speaker 1: sort of unlikely because m my before comedy I was
Speaker 1: I worked at the u N. It was a war
Speaker 1: crimes lawyer, and like it was a kind of like
Speaker 1: it was like a kind of crazy transition. And then
Speaker 1: it just locally in Montreal. I had a couple of
Speaker 1: news articles that weren't about like oh, she's so good
Speaker 1: a comedy. I was like, who does this career change?
Speaker 1: And like somebody who's going to kill me? It seems
Speaker 1: like kind of lawyer. She has coworkers with a maul clooney.
Speaker 1: They were coworkers. Yeah that's yeah. Yeah. We started trying
Speaker 1: to bet it on stage only yeah yeah wow. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So anyway, so it did like and at the time,
Speaker 1: I was like really in shape and to languages and
Speaker 1: because I've worked anyway, whatever sook and you look sae
Speaker 1: languages or I and I spoke a few languages, but
Speaker 1: did you lose them? Do you not speak? And I
Speaker 1: still speak those But it just seems like who is
Speaker 1: this person that's so like, um high achieving, that's coming
Speaker 1: into comedy. It just did not add up. You know what,
Speaker 1: you really want this? You really want me to like
Speaker 1: blend into the comedy scene in Montreal and uh and yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna you know, be so popular that people
Speaker 1: are going to support the Palestinian cause, and so I
Speaker 1: have to stamp it out, you know, and it's not
Speaker 1: fast forward like her. It turns out her brother in
Speaker 1: law's like find out that he's more things. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: made like and I also at one point decided to
Speaker 1: like play it up as if it was, you know, true,
Speaker 1: just to like freak her out. Guys, you're fun. That was,
Speaker 1: you know, one of the earlier where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: is that a camp? You know, I'm just exactly with
Speaker 1: the pillow. You say it again, louder So, Wait, what
Speaker 1: was coming out for each of you? Like, well, this
Speaker 1: one it's a walk in the park. Everything she does
Speaker 1: is just like no problem, you know, she just like
Speaker 1: comes out to her mother. She comes out no problem
Speaker 1: to anything, your problem. But I was she tells everybody everything.
Speaker 1: She has a big man, you know, like she and
Speaker 1: I'm a lot like I don't express myself as well.
Speaker 1: She talks about every single thing. And I'm just I mean,
Speaker 1: you just don't. You're more private. You're saying, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't talk to every single person, you know.
Speaker 1: Um so, and of course the fear of except for
Speaker 1: less Glazer coming out to my parents was also just
Speaker 1: because my parents went through so much, like moving us
Speaker 1: to Canada and for the Middle East, so escaping wars
Speaker 1: like going through already exactly, and I already like dropped
Speaker 1: out of university for fucking comedy, you know. So I
Speaker 1: came out as a comedian first, which was a disaster
Speaker 1: to them. And then now like I'm I'm you know
Speaker 1: this this thing? Did you say to them? What did
Speaker 1: they say back to you? So I think I told
Speaker 1: them three year, two years after Shrine's wedding. That's how
Speaker 1: it always starts. I just wanted to make sure I
Speaker 1: knew that if I was going to introduce her as
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, they're gonna not like her. And I knew
Speaker 1: she's a very likable person to introduced her as like
Speaker 1: wonderful person that she is. And of course they loved her.
Speaker 1: She's so you know, lovely and um, polite and the
Speaker 1: whole thing that parents would like. Um. And then I
Speaker 1: went to a wedding. That's what happened. I went to
Speaker 1: you finished college or a lawyer, um, and I went
Speaker 1: to a wedding a friend of mine, a Palestinian girl,
Speaker 1: who married a Swiss guy. So we went to that wedding,
Speaker 1: and I went and I decided, like after that wedding,
Speaker 1: I was going to come out to my parents. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what the timing was and why and whatever,
Speaker 1: but that's when I decided. So I was just like,
Speaker 1: I just went to to a wedding. It was so fun.
Speaker 1: It's so great that because of course for them, it's
Speaker 1: like marrying a Muslim guy was a must imagine oh
Speaker 1: wow and white lady. Yeah, well, I they knew, they
Speaker 1: knew that I was probably not going to marry like
Speaker 1: in a conventional way because I was always I fought
Speaker 1: with them since I was a child, like everything. Um,
Speaker 1: and they started to accept, like you kind of go
Speaker 1: against the grain totally. Yeah, a little bit, I mean
Speaker 1: not accepted. Yeah, exactly. UM. So I just told, you know,
Speaker 1: my freshmen, her wedding was amazing. She married this Swiss guy.
Speaker 1: Didn't They had a ceremony that their friend did no religion,
Speaker 1: beautiful And they're like, great, did you meet did you
Speaker 1: meet anybody at the wedding? And I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't need to meet anyone. I already nervous. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I already. I mean, my brother, my sister left I.
Speaker 1: Everybody was like, okay, well just like come in an hour.
Speaker 1: An hour. They knew, especially my sister and I are
Speaker 1: very close. Okay, so my sister is like, okay, I'll
Speaker 1: come into the house like half an hour until like
Speaker 1: damage control, because we knew that my parents are not
Speaker 1: going to like we knew that my parents are not
Speaker 1: going to sisters who have been very good like in
Speaker 1: between between what I want to yeah, um so yeah,
Speaker 1: So basically, isn't that great? And they're like, did you
Speaker 1: meet somebody at the wedding? And I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't need to meet somebody. You know that I'm with
Speaker 1: someone because I had to introduce her just briefly before
Speaker 1: this coming out. And they're like, no, who you with?
Speaker 1: And just like God's so happy that I met somebody,
Speaker 1: just like the biggest smile, like who is it? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, Jess the stick so that I mean, my
Speaker 1: mom instantly began to cry and my father was just
Speaker 1: like shaking his head. He's like but like they're convinced
Speaker 1: that it's not normal to be gay, just like, but
Speaker 1: that's not normal. And you're both like because great, girls,
Speaker 1: like what's the problem, like asking me what the problem.
Speaker 1: I'm like, exactly, we're both great girls were into each
Speaker 1: other because we're both great and it's so awesome and
Speaker 1: I'm so happy. And I know that you're not on board.
Speaker 1: Take your time with that. I just wanted to tell you, like,
Speaker 1: I was a lot of patients with them because I'm
Speaker 1: so angry usually and I'm just like fighting all of
Speaker 1: the time. Called them isis like a million times. It's
Speaker 1: like not right, So I'm such an angry person. That's
Speaker 1: fucking hilarious. God, Mom, You're like, isis? Did you used
Speaker 1: to call him to Aliban before I did? I called
Speaker 1: them everything. I mean, it's just it's it's a community.
Speaker 1: They come from a community that's so backwards, and it's
Speaker 1: like not embarrassed by it. They're just like that's like,
Speaker 1: I'm that's our culture, that's what we believe in. It's
Speaker 1: an example of something that they're not embarrassed by. The shocks.
Speaker 1: You like, women and men are equal, and they're like,
Speaker 1: that's hilarious. No, I mean not that bad. My dad
Speaker 1: is very progressive, but it's like they are. I know
Speaker 1: plenty of American dads that are not close that don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my dad is very progressive. Maybe you know, you guys
Speaker 1: could remain close and Mary brothers, yeah suggestions. That's actually
Speaker 1: kind of like that's strange. But he was like trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how he could stay close yet forgot
Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, that's him trying to fight what he
Speaker 1: was taught. You know. Feel like coming out as a
Speaker 1: lesbian is like is easier than coming out, like as
Speaker 1: a gay man to dads, do you like? Do you
Speaker 1: what do you think? For some reason, it feels like
Speaker 1: like a softer blow, even though it shouldn't be a
Speaker 1: blow at all to parents because a guy, when a
Speaker 1: guy is gay, he's like looking for others. And I
Speaker 1: think everyone just think which sex I mean, I think, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, and you know, and you know lesbian's gonna
Speaker 1: have anal sex too, you know, but no, not everybody.
Speaker 1: Everyone's more lead mostly thinking about just you're going down
Speaker 1: on each other, and it's like there's not like like
Speaker 1: people like ramming each other and like feminine, you know.
Speaker 1: Get Savage says that all the time about like a
Speaker 1: lot of times of gay men come out their parents
Speaker 1: and it's a hard time. It's like part of the
Speaker 1: reason why everyone's such a hard time and about it
Speaker 1: is they're envisioning their love and having anal sex and
Speaker 1: god damn, I don't want to think about any of
Speaker 1: my family any type of ye exactly straight whatever? Are
Speaker 1: you so obsessed with what they're doing? Weird? Because that's
Speaker 1: the whole thing of coming out as you know, as gay,
Speaker 1: is that it's like it is a sexual you know,
Speaker 1: it's a thing that you're saying, like, I'm attracted the
Speaker 1: same sex. So people will start imagining like what you
Speaker 1: do right, yes, for some reason, because it's not the default.
Speaker 1: And then but or trends people they have to almost
Speaker 1: like have their whole life they have to change there,
Speaker 1: it's like they changed completely as a person, Like I
Speaker 1: didn't change anything about me other than like my sexual life.
Speaker 1: But you didn't have to. Yeah, nothing physically about me
Speaker 1: change in any way or personality. That's what you would
Speaker 1: tell me when you try to take courage me to
Speaker 1: come out sooner than night, because it took me forever.
Speaker 1: You'd always be like everybody's going to see you're still
Speaker 1: the same person, because I was so concerned with my
Speaker 1: identity being perceived so differently. But when nothing changed, where
Speaker 1: it's like now you're like you're you have to like
Speaker 1: say goodbye to the person you knew, like they actually
Speaker 1: like change, you know. It's like like almost like a death,
Speaker 1: you know. And that's like I feel like that's anyway,
Speaker 1: not that we shouldn't talk. They trying to people get
Speaker 1: enough attention anyway, I feel like at all, like like
Speaker 1: kind of like realizing that you were like, did you
Speaker 1: feel like it was like did you feel disappointed that
Speaker 1: you were like in yourself? I know sometimes I feel
Speaker 1: like I have friends who are in the closet they
Speaker 1: feel almost like disappointed for my parents, not for me,
Speaker 1: not for you, not for me. Um yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: at this point, so talking about how I identify now,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, I thought that after pan
Speaker 1: sexual isn't pan sexual just the personal even now, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're just attracted to the person, and it's not like, well,
Speaker 1: pan sexual is is that you are tracted to any gender.
Speaker 1: The problem with bisexual that people have said recently is
Speaker 1: that it reinforces the gender binary, and you know, which
Speaker 1: is yeah, so another reason to hey bisexuals. But anyway,
Speaker 1: um so people use pan sexual as a way to
Speaker 1: get around that, but it just basically means yeah, you're
Speaker 1: tracted to any any gender nonconforming now now. So I
Speaker 1: always thought that if it didn't work out with Jess
Speaker 1: and I just go back to men. But seven years,
Speaker 1: we've been together, seven years, I really don't know if
Speaker 1: how easy it would be to just go back to
Speaker 1: You find yourself like attracted to other women in the
Speaker 1: way that you would like passing down the street, like
Speaker 1: oh that person is hot, and you like it's more
Speaker 1: so women. I mean, you can say if you are
Speaker 1: gen I really just curious or like in the porn
Speaker 1: you watched, are you watching lesbian porn? Women watched les
Speaker 1: straight women. I think it's because they seem like they're
Speaker 1: not acting as much, like they're actually joy For me,
Speaker 1: it's just less aggressive, and I feel like the people
Speaker 1: in it are not getting are not getting abused. Probably, yeah,
Speaker 1: I kind of like the borderline abuse. This is a horrible, horrible,
Speaker 1: but it's not abused. Yeah, of course it's consensual, Like
Speaker 1: Jess only watches gay guy porn, not only but mostly yeah,
Speaker 1: mostly that's porn too, Yeah, but just it just sometimes
Speaker 1: it has to be like really like masculine e feeling
Speaker 1: gay men like there can't be any twinks involved, which
Speaker 1: is I like it when it's like a twink Okay,
Speaker 1: I like yeah, like bears. Yeah. I just it's also though,
Speaker 1: partly for the reason that I feel like less guilty
Speaker 1: if they're being abused. I'm like, right, okay, it's hard
Speaker 1: because like talking about porn and like so much. It's
Speaker 1: like made me like like think about porn too much.
Speaker 1: And I mean that's a good thing, you know, paying
Speaker 1: for porn, you know, condition work conditions on sets. But
Speaker 1: then you're like, well, how am I going to come now? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think about me yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: But that was one of the things that we bonded about,
Speaker 1: was our taste in porn. I mean, well, one of
Speaker 1: the first times we watched it together, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: would you what words you used in this search and somebody?
Speaker 1: And that's when I knew I was going to marry her,
Speaker 1: because what did you write? Humiliation? I think that's how
Speaker 1: you packed And I was like, that is my future.
Speaker 1: It's really yet She's like everything, doubt. What's more specifically, like,
Speaker 1: do you watch porn together? Do you guys watch porn together?
Speaker 1: For sure? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean nothing recent, but
Speaker 1: guess we've just been married for so long. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just we know what, Well, what about the do you
Speaker 1: like humiliating? Do you like being humiliated? Or do you
Speaker 1: just thought that was like fun that she wrote that.
Speaker 1: I know, I like, I like really like hardcore porn
Speaker 1: with the girl being like like yeah, yeah, you really
Speaker 1: are a straight up yeah yeah you what worst one
Speaker 1: I ever saw? It was like someone was like a
Speaker 1: girl was forced to vomit and then eat her own
Speaker 1: vomit out of it. Watch like a lot of times
Speaker 1: king dot com, the ones that are really intense. It'll
Speaker 1: have interviews with them afterwards and before we interview. But
Speaker 1: I that's the only reason I know though that they
Speaker 1: liked it, because you don't need to watch the video,
Speaker 1: but you know that they're yeah, I just want to
Speaker 1: know it's there. I only need to watch one to
Speaker 1: go Okay. Girls wanted not the movie the TV series,
Speaker 1: A lot of that is just they're being fedlines. It's
Speaker 1: the same way as you know, when someone gets kidnapped
Speaker 1: by isis and they're like, hi, I'm here. Isn't real? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's like nothing that's real true, the reality
Speaker 1: TV isn't real. Porn isn't real. Nothing's real. That I
Speaker 1: met a comedian in Western Canada who did porn too,
Speaker 1: and he was just one of the porns that really
Speaker 1: made made him quit porn. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: he's done it ever since. Was uh gang Bank scene
Speaker 1: with the girl and where everybody like came on the
Speaker 1: girl afterwards and it was apparently so disgusting it made
Speaker 1: him cry and vomit and yeah, really come on her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well they all like sucked her. I don't know how
Speaker 1: many they were not the same time taking turns, I guess,
Speaker 1: or like maybe two guys at the same time or whatever. Anyway,
Speaker 1: apparently that was the porn that he was just like,
Speaker 1: I didn't do that. Yeah, step away. Yeah, I haven't
Speaker 1: see I haven't seen. I haven't seen porn yet. That
Speaker 1: made me go, damn good. Yeah, the one made me
Speaker 1: take a pause from porn. I also don't like animal
Speaker 1: sounds coming from women. Ye did the vomit ones give
Speaker 1: your heads up on the vomit? I mean it came
Speaker 1: really pretty fast. I don't like I don't like porn
Speaker 1: with a lot of plot. Yeah, I would just watch
Speaker 1: a movie. Yeah, like I was watching nineties porn last
Speaker 1: night with this guy, and it was it was so
Speaker 1: much They acting so much better in nineties, way better.
Speaker 1: Well because it talks about this too, and hot girls
Speaker 1: wanted because it's all about the connection between like pornography
Speaker 1: and technology and our our attention span is getting so
Speaker 1: short that it's like you gotta get right to it.
Speaker 1: You gotta get right to it. Get it. And they
Speaker 1: interviewed this really interesting um Erica Lust, who's like a
Speaker 1: female porn director who I then went to follow on
Speaker 1: Twitter and I was like, she already follows me. She's amazing.
Speaker 1: And then and then I had this whole thing where
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I'm gonna become a because
Speaker 1: I have a b f A and directing. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, this is my calling. I think I'm
Speaker 1: a transition to porn directing directly. I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: because it's a big problem, like women in aren't directing
Speaker 1: enough porn. But then also people aren't paying for porn,
Speaker 1: so there's just no money for it, and it's a
Speaker 1: it's a big thing, so it's not a great career
Speaker 1: to get into. Isn't it amazing for women? Actually? Because
Speaker 1: female porn actresses make a lot more than than you.
Speaker 1: But it's like you're so disposable in poorn now because
Speaker 1: you know, if you it's really hard, especially if you
Speaker 1: do certain things too fast, and like it's good to
Speaker 1: start so low that because you get paid more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what how kinky do you guys get? Um? I mean
Speaker 1: lately not so much. I mean I mean, actually, well,
Speaker 1: one of the best things was our wedding anniversary. Was that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. That was like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: So yeah, what anniversary was it? Anniversary in Vancouver? Yeah,
Speaker 1: on tour for like a couple of weeks. She'd been
Speaker 1: out for two weeks and a half. I was like
Speaker 1: so cranky. I you know, I picked a fight with her,
Speaker 1: like the weekend before, just being like so lonely on
Speaker 1: the road, knowing that, you know, we're not going to
Speaker 1: be together for a wedding anniversary. So I'm on stage
Speaker 1: on on a on the night of my wedding anniversary,
Speaker 1: just like performing, and she sits in the front room.
Speaker 1: So she flew from New York City to Vancouver to
Speaker 1: surprise me. I was going to die. So the sex
Speaker 1: after that was the sex yeause that's not that it
Speaker 1: was really kinky kin we get I mean, do we
Speaker 1: get kinky? I don't think so. No, Well something I
Speaker 1: used to think, I like, I don't get kinky. But
Speaker 1: then I'm like, yeah, I have a girl come over
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend fox her while I watch him, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I guess that's something for sure. I
Speaker 1: guess that's kind of kinky. I mean, I guess just
Speaker 1: different positions, different each other up. Do you like each other? No?
Speaker 1: I mean banking, yeah, but not We've never really done
Speaker 1: slapping or troping hair a little bit, a little bit,
Speaker 1: a little bit hair pull yeah, very soft, very very like.
Speaker 1: She wanted me to spank her at the beginning, and
Speaker 1: I was like no, but also I'm like, I just
Speaker 1: I don't wanna because she marks easily. She's like so yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I kind of like I preferred the other person
Speaker 1: to be a top. But it's very hard when you
Speaker 1: hook up with somebody at the beginning who's never been
Speaker 1: with a woman, so you have to like teach them
Speaker 1: everything and like yeah, like yeah kind of like well yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah and uh and so yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: she had to teach me everything. And then I became
Speaker 1: at the top. Yeah, teach me how to you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, okay, yeah, she's good. Well yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I mean it's yeah. I feel it's a difference between
Speaker 1: like as a straight woman, Like if I met like
Speaker 1: a like a guy who didn't like know how to fuck, wow,
Speaker 1: Like for me, I'd be out immediately. Do you think
Speaker 1: that's but I feel like a lot of like I
Speaker 1: know a lot of like lesbians who are kind of like,
Speaker 1: um titillated by like teaching straight people. Is that is
Speaker 1: that love going after straight guys even though they know
Speaker 1: not a couple on this on the podcast about that. Really,
Speaker 1: I get why that would be hot because it's like
Speaker 1: let me it's let me teach you how to fun
Speaker 1: me kind of thing. Yeah, from what I've heard, No,
Speaker 1: it's not my favorite thing. It was just a necessity
Speaker 1: so that that you're like, we're gonna I'll teach you
Speaker 1: because that that to me is like that's like the
Speaker 1: most amazing thing about this whole conversation is like wow,
Speaker 1: well I think the kissing was so amazing, And that's
Speaker 1: what's sort of I knew that because I had a
Speaker 1: feeling that she was going to have the same issue
Speaker 1: that I did the first time that I was with
Speaker 1: a woman where I'd be like, so, like what do
Speaker 1: we do? Yeah, kind of like just like just a
Speaker 1: little bit of the like um, oh my god, is
Speaker 1: humping me right now without a pain? Like the first
Speaker 1: time that happened to me, I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the saddest thing. Is this what you do? You know?
Speaker 1: And then and then I just felt like bad for
Speaker 1: the woman, and then I mean whatever, and then but
Speaker 1: then I like, I don't know, somehow I got past
Speaker 1: it and got used to it and saw how like
Speaker 1: it was like something you know and like hot and
Speaker 1: like and it's such the same thing that you were doing,
Speaker 1: but it became hotter. Yea, it became hotter. And then
Speaker 1: like I got why. I got why that kind of
Speaker 1: you know, like um rubbing together you know, was like um,
Speaker 1: not sad and like I made I made it okay
Speaker 1: Cupid profile years ago just for women, and I met
Speaker 1: up with one and we slept together, I guess, but
Speaker 1: that's all we did. Yeah, she was a lesbian. I
Speaker 1: was like, uh, and I told her that, but that's
Speaker 1: all we did was plump each other. But I was
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think it was sad. I thought it was great.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was the only thing that we did,
Speaker 1: but that was stereotypical first time, right, And then I
Speaker 1: knew that one of the first time with themon I
Speaker 1: was like, she's I'm sure in her head, I'm sure
Speaker 1: in her head she's I was. She was like feeling
Speaker 1: like this is so pathetic. And then we talked about
Speaker 1: it later and she definitely, so she's thought the same
Speaker 1: thing you did when you and I was like in
Speaker 1: the moment, like, I think, because well, do you think
Speaker 1: that's because you were you were up until that point,
Speaker 1: you were used to sex men a penis and a vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I always liked the penis vagina thing. I think
Speaker 1: it goes great together. And it's like, I'm not, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was never that part. I was never that for me,
Speaker 1: Like I if I was like in theory, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's been so long now, but if I, in theory
Speaker 1: was to have a one night stand, I'd rather have
Speaker 1: it with you know. It's just that I have I
Speaker 1: fall in love more easily with women and have better,
Speaker 1: easier relationship with women, but I can't just cook up
Speaker 1: with a girl like that. I need to know who
Speaker 1: she is. I need to have seen her for a
Speaker 1: few years, like I need a text. It's not like
Speaker 1: I'm just pick up a woman in a bar that
Speaker 1: I don't know, like a date just like a sex Yeah,
Speaker 1: like a woman. I couldn't just go on Tinder and
Speaker 1: like go on. I couldn't go on. And I went
Speaker 1: once on a date with a girl and it was
Speaker 1: so weird, like a girl I didn't know and like
Speaker 1: out to dinner and like I was like I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I hated it. Wow. Interesting. It has to be like
Speaker 1: there has to be a where I'm like you because
Speaker 1: you're trying to have a crush on the person. I'm
Speaker 1: like that, that's weird. I'm like I can't just fuck.
Speaker 1: But then a woman, I'm like, yeah, it's fun and
Speaker 1: women are just so beautiful and soft and pretty, like
Speaker 1: you have more experience than we do with women. Just one.
Speaker 1: I only stop with one woman by just me and her,
Speaker 1: and then uh through a lot of three ways with
Speaker 1: chicks with my boyfriend. But then then this girl from
Speaker 1: college messaged me and she was like, hey, she I
Speaker 1: knew she was a lesbian and she was like, if
Speaker 1: you ever want to like figure, you know, just say
Speaker 1: I would take you out. I'm like, yeah, kinda yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I that was it. I was all but
Speaker 1: I was like, is that mean to do you think
Speaker 1: to say? Like, I don't really know what well she
Speaker 1: offered she did, but I always like, you know, creating
Speaker 1: people like an experiment. I feel like, I think I
Speaker 1: think a gay woman who is like flirting with a
Speaker 1: straight woman like knows that that's always a possibility that
Speaker 1: you're getting yourself into. And I think gay women that
Speaker 1: don't want that well will not go near a straight woman. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I there's like, now, because I'm married, I can't do this,
Speaker 1: but like I do, I'm not interested in like teaching
Speaker 1: somebody really, but I do like there are women that
Speaker 1: I feel like that's okay. There are women that I
Speaker 1: feel like I could feel like maybe would be gay
Speaker 1: maybe or could be gay and okay, And I do
Speaker 1: and I do feel like, um, part of me wishes
Speaker 1: that I could get them into it, you know, just
Speaker 1: because I feel like it would be she's just talking
Speaker 1: specifically about somebody she has a crush. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's more than like it's yeah, I mean it's more
Speaker 1: than person. No, it's not yet. I'm just talking in general,
Speaker 1: though she does have a crush on a million people.
Speaker 1: But there are like, there are people that I feel
Speaker 1: like are maybe just not there yet, but I think
Speaker 1: that they could be if they were yet with the
Speaker 1: right person, and um, maybe that they're missing I don't know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I just want people to be able to have
Speaker 1: the experience. Well, it means the same thing. You know,
Speaker 1: just because you're in a lesbian marriages, that mean you're
Speaker 1: not going through the same things that like anyone in
Speaker 1: like any marriage, like marriage is still marriage. Do you
Speaker 1: feel suffocated by it? No? Not no, And I thought
Speaker 1: that was projecting my own feeling, but I was. I'm
Speaker 1: truly curious because sometimes, like especially straight couples like will
Speaker 1: make so much many like passive aggressive jokes about what
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you guys need like do you need help?
Speaker 1: Wink if you need help? Get yeah? Years? Yeah? How
Speaker 1: long were you with your seven seven years? I'm telling
Speaker 1: it's breakup season. We've been fighting a lot, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like hearing about people and the people Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: the seven year rich that's I guess, like you just
Speaker 1: get sick of the person. I don't know, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's true. I just, um, I can't imagine my
Speaker 1: life with anybody else, and I love being with Iman,
Speaker 1: and like our relationship is great. I can't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine being in an open relationship. We're both
Speaker 1: like we neither too jealous. I could not. I've actually
Speaker 1: never heard of a lesbian open relationship. We heard of
Speaker 1: and they ended up getting divorced. They were married for
Speaker 1: fourteen years because I was but be jealous of that too.
Speaker 1: I couldn't finished so quickly, Like it would both attracted
Speaker 1: to the same sex. So it's like you could both
Speaker 1: think someone top. But then that doesn't mean you can't
Speaker 1: get jealous. Like, yeah, evaginas, what's even the point, Like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna bring something in brand Dicky, you know
Speaker 1: it's too many vaginas. Yeah, that's that's pointless. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love that's just pointless. Guys, thank you so much fun.
Speaker 1: Where can we find you both online? Where can we
Speaker 1: see you live? This is coming on Friday? So what
Speaker 1: do you want to promote? Where our cartoon? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we have a cartoon about our marriage. It's the best
Speaker 1: place to see it is on Instagram. It's at the
Speaker 1: L E. L. Solomon's s A L O M O
Speaker 1: and S and M. Also, I should just say that
Speaker 1: I have a show that's coming up at Union Hall
Speaker 1: that's called the Lesbian Agenda where because there are so
Speaker 1: many gay shows and they're not lesbian focused, and this
Speaker 1: one will be in that. I'm running with a very
Speaker 1: funny company named Sophie Santos and Um It's going to
Speaker 1: be at Union Hall on July. Awesome. And what are
Speaker 1: your social media handles both of you. I'm at Jess Underscore,
Speaker 1: Solomon s A L O M O Win, and I'm
Speaker 1: at the Money Feak. The big show that I'm really
Speaker 1: excited about is on June three, The Pride Show. She's
Speaker 1: joking about the jealous that I got it at the
Speaker 1: Public Hotel for prize. So anyone is in Montreal during
Speaker 1: the festival, um, Emon and I are doing a show
Speaker 1: together on July twenty one at Mainline Theater as part
Speaker 1: of the Justusica Last Perfect. We have so many We
Speaker 1: have so many listeners in Montreal. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Happy Pride. This is guys, We suck the Anti split
Speaker 1: Shiming podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday. Well, someone
Speaker 1: my feed hold on tide whisper to me as we
Speaker 1: fly through the moon night and live as we can
Speaker 1: find alone by the star as school on an up casoline.
Speaker 1: Everyone that such rush settle down and down they got
Speaker 1: so break that you can bank that good and drunk.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to guys we fucked
Speaker 1: the Anti sludge Shamming Podcast. Support for today's show comes
Speaker 1: from Ben and Jerry's, known for creating euphoric ice cream
Speaker 1: with quirky and unique flavor combinations and delicious chunks and
Speaker 1: swirls throughout and now with new Moufloria flavors, digging into
Speaker 1: a bowl of your favorite treat is even sweeter because,
Speaker 1: at one forty to one and sixty calories per serving,
Speaker 1: Mouforia is the lightest way to enjoy all the euphoria
Speaker 1: of Ben and Jerry's. Available in three amazing flavors including Chocolate,
Speaker 1: Milk and Cookies, Caramel, Cookie Fix, and PB Dough Try
Speaker 1: them all. Go to store dot Ben Jerry dot com
Speaker 1: to have new Mouforia Light ice cream delivered right to you.
Speaker 1: M