Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys. We Guys, we Book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night the
Speaker 1: anti sluck shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey, fucker's how
Speaker 1: you doing. Welcome to another episode of Guys We Fucked.
Speaker 1: Uh this anti sluck shaming podcast, We've only been doing
Speaker 1: it for five years. I forgot what my line was
Speaker 1: and it's been the same line for five years. Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Coren Fisher. I'm Christine Hodginson. Welcome, Welcome you guys
Speaker 1: the news. You know, there's a lot of stuff going
Speaker 1: on in the world right now, but we would like
Speaker 1: to take time to focus on a topic that possibly
Speaker 1: doesn't get enough attention, or maybe it gets too much. Guys,
Speaker 1: Electric scooters and micro mobility. Here's everything you need to know.
Speaker 1: The rise of micromobility companies is a Forbes article has
Speaker 1: been well documented over the last few years, with companies
Speaker 1: like Ofo and Mobile Bike in China and City Bike
Speaker 1: and Jump Bikes in US providing consumers with convenient options
Speaker 1: for last minute transportation. All the companies have gone on
Speaker 1: to raise venture capital or be acquired, showcasing both the
Speaker 1: consumer and investor demand for last minute transportation solutions because
Speaker 1: we're lazy Fox in America and all over the world apparently.
Speaker 1: And also sometimes you just want to get stone and
Speaker 1: right a fucking scooter. Um, there's a lot of companies,
Speaker 1: additional eat scooter companies hitting the market. Guys, were about
Speaker 1: to get inundated. You think your city's fucked up now
Speaker 1: with all the scoot at scooting, it's about to get worse.
Speaker 1: Additional East scooter companies from all over the world. They include.
Speaker 1: These are the names of the companies Skip, Spin, Scoot,
Speaker 1: skipp and Spend are terrible names. You're telling me Pop Scoot, Beam,
Speaker 1: that's an s t I amps or tear mobility, wind
Speaker 1: Mobility was that scooter gonna sail on it? Void Technology, Vogo, Dot,
Speaker 1: and Flash all recently announced large capital raises in Europe.
Speaker 1: Alowan five East scooter companies have emerged and raised over
Speaker 1: a hundred and fifty million dollars in capital since the
Speaker 1: start of twenty teen. I'm like you, guys, this money
Speaker 1: could be going to better places. Yeah, I would name
Speaker 1: my scooter company dork. I would name mine. I'm a
Speaker 1: loser on a scooter although full disclosure, actually no, I
Speaker 1: haven't written the scooters, I have expressed interest in riding them.
Speaker 1: In my head, I would be called unfuckable, dude. Cities
Speaker 1: need electronic scooters. Mega cities worldwide are facing an epidemic
Speaker 1: of congestion and pollution caused by rapid urbanization that is
Speaker 1: increasing gridlock and putting severe pressure on public transportation systems.
Speaker 1: I'm just naming it a scooter companies that I'm starting. No,
Speaker 1: this is good of car traffic in the US is
Speaker 1: caused by cars on trips less than three miles, and
Speaker 1: micromeability solutions could could help alleviate the significant portion of
Speaker 1: last minute gridlock. I still don't want to fuck you
Speaker 1: if you're riding a scooter, though, Um so yeah, just guys,
Speaker 1: scooter craze is getting out of hand. People are dying
Speaker 1: on these scooters. They're just trying to scoot to work.
Speaker 1: But Todd didn't bring his helmet and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden as a head injury, and he he can't
Speaker 1: remember his daughter's name. So it's like, are these things
Speaker 1: worth it? They're crowding up, they're got a d u
Speaker 1: I that's another good name for it, and it's just
Speaker 1: you have every helmet is like a flag has a
Speaker 1: flag on it. It's like I gotta because I got
Speaker 1: a d U. I know that this guy got a
Speaker 1: d U and it's an arrow pointing down. That's really funny,
Speaker 1: because what are other reasons do you ride a scooter?
Speaker 1: You just want to feel a breeze on your hair.
Speaker 1: I guess if you're really into the environment. Although I
Speaker 1: watched an episode of Adam you know what I want?
Speaker 1: Episode of Adam ruins everything, and basically like if you
Speaker 1: have a car and like trading it in for a
Speaker 1: an electric car or like not using it is worse
Speaker 1: for the environment. The trade definitely is. Because the thing
Speaker 1: is like, yes, electronic cars are are are better for
Speaker 1: the environment when they are on the road, but to
Speaker 1: make the energy, we forget about the energy that's used
Speaker 1: to produce things. So the energy used to produce that
Speaker 1: car that is then better for the world is worse
Speaker 1: than you're just keeping the car you are you had
Speaker 1: and driving that we can't Yeah, well, I mean and
Speaker 1: also most like a lot of for a lot of
Speaker 1: like green energy, Like so a lot of people like
Speaker 1: are like throwing out just like you know, boxes and
Speaker 1: boxes of pre existing plastic straws. But for me, like
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm using the straws I
Speaker 1: have left, and I'm not gonna buy anymore. I bought
Speaker 1: a metal straw, but I'm gonna finish off the ones
Speaker 1: I have because otherwise I'm just throwing them away. Right,
Speaker 1: you might as well sip something through something through it exactly.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna name my scooter company. I just can't win. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you know, be careful when you're out there scoot
Speaker 1: in because you can lose a tooth. You're just trying
Speaker 1: to say the environment and then it just goes awry. Um.
Speaker 1: And also come see us live, guys. We're gonna be uh.
Speaker 1: The only tour day we have to promune at this
Speaker 1: moment in time is in Indianapolis. We're gonna be at
Speaker 1: Helium Thursday, April eighteen through Saturday for twenty Go to
Speaker 1: storry about Last Night dot com slash tours for all
Speaker 1: of their dates. Those tickets are up and this is
Speaker 1: the episode area on to fifteen. Correct, So then U
Speaker 1: a dates we can do to my well, my l
Speaker 1: I did I guess is a Monday February. I'll be
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles And again, we have to record a
Speaker 1: bunch of these episodes ahead of times, so just look
Speaker 1: to my social media for where and when those shows
Speaker 1: are going to be on February. But I'm like guessing
Speaker 1: that they're at night. They're definitely in l A or
Speaker 1: the l A area, probably l A proper, yeah, because
Speaker 1: that's where I'm gonna be. So unless they're sending me
Speaker 1: a fucking lift, that's that's where the shoots happening. So
Speaker 1: scooter pulls up. My good guy on a scooter carrying
Speaker 1: a scooter over his shoulders like tequila. You're his name
Speaker 1: Steve uh and he has a Hawaiian shirt on it
Speaker 1: says five o'clock somewhere. Well, that's not would sound kind
Speaker 1: of fun. Actually that's a good name for scooter company.
Speaker 1: Somewhere comes with the Margarite. But I won't be there
Speaker 1: until seven on a scooter. Um. And then please listen
Speaker 1: to Less Lonely Girls Out every Monday short episodes. We
Speaker 1: have lots of fun content coming with me and Rosebud
Speaker 1: Big Car And if you're New York City on autur Day, February,
Speaker 1: Glamour Plus is happening. It's my birthday. Show I'm very
Speaker 1: excited at seven thirty pm at Zinc Bar, which is
Speaker 1: a very very dear venue to my heart. It's historical
Speaker 1: jazz venue, eighty two West third Street. Myself and Wendy
Speaker 1: Starling co host as always with Nina and Simone. You'll
Speaker 1: get that if you go, and tickets are fifteen bucks
Speaker 1: twenty one and up. Click the link in this in
Speaker 1: this description and then do it. And I already went
Speaker 1: to l A. I hope it was great. I hope
Speaker 1: nothing bad happened because I'd be uncomfortable if I lost
Speaker 1: a leg And then I'm just like, l A was great,
Speaker 1: and you know that's what happens with That's a weird
Speaker 1: place to lose a leg because I feel like it's like,
Speaker 1: it's like, what happened? What were you getting? Like cosmetic
Speaker 1: knee surgery? No, I think now that I'm a I'm
Speaker 1: a surfer now, so I think I could get bit
Speaker 1: by shark. Yeah, I'm gonna surf in l Akay, Okay,
Speaker 1: but mind injure me. Well, I'm trying to trace the
Speaker 1: trenduline and activities and not men. Oh and you don't
Speaker 1: have health insurance. People are yelling at me. For that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you, guys, why are they yelling at you?
Speaker 1: But it's not because you just missed the why I mean,
Speaker 1: that's fucking bad, but whatever, you'll deal with it. I'm fine,
Speaker 1: well unless I'm not and me find out out later.
Speaker 1: But I mean, you know, you just pay for it
Speaker 1: out of pocket. Yeah, yeah, that's I gotta go to
Speaker 1: the doctor, man, just to go, like I get like
Speaker 1: a blood work or something. I got an STI. But
Speaker 1: you can go and just get a check up at
Speaker 1: like like some kind of an urgent care, Like if
Speaker 1: you just go a cay, can you do my blood pressure,
Speaker 1: take this whatever, do my vitals and it'll be like twollars. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, last time I got a physical, the doctor
Speaker 1: felt my boob and then I realized that that was
Speaker 1: wrong after I left. Yeah, so I'll make sure that
Speaker 1: doesn't happen on my watch again. There's also something called,
Speaker 1: like I used to be honest, it's called like something
Speaker 1: one like one emblement. I can look at my emails,
Speaker 1: but you just pay kind of like almost like a
Speaker 1: membership fee and go and you do not and not
Speaker 1: health insurance that different offices, but it's like a step
Speaker 1: up from urgent care. That's fine. I would like to
Speaker 1: try that. Yeah, you can do that. Okay, cool. Um, well,
Speaker 1: now that we have your healthcare plan underway publicly, Oh man, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm about to get check. Um. It seems like you're
Speaker 1: avoiding talking about something. No, no, no, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out how to articulate because last
Speaker 1: week on the intro we talked you talked about, um,
Speaker 1: a person we're seeing and it's weird. Yeah that could be.
Speaker 1: That could be over by now. I know. I know.
Speaker 1: That's why I love recording all in bulk. The intros.
Speaker 1: We usually don't put this month with because it's like
Speaker 1: because it's like, what's going to happen? And then you
Speaker 1: listen to how how much hope you had in your voice.
Speaker 1: That's what I do. This relationship is gonna last forever.
Speaker 1: Oh you fucking Christie. I don't listen back because I'm
Speaker 1: just like, who knows, well, so so some you know,
Speaker 1: we talked about like fucking fans. We've talked about that before,
Speaker 1: like fucking people who try to come up to you
Speaker 1: after your shows, and there have been like I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to encourage this, but maybe I'm I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: there have been some guys that have messaged me on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I do check my Instagram, m um and my other
Speaker 1: box because people send me boy Friday. So those some
Speaker 1: people came up to show there are people, yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: I was like, whatever, well, those one guys go, but
Speaker 1: he's they're like hot, like hot. I remember I noticed
Speaker 1: this one guy's profile picture was like a dog because
Speaker 1: I was like, you couldn't even tell what he looks like.
Speaker 1: And I looked and I was like, Yo, this guy's
Speaker 1: hot as fun. If you're hot and you have a
Speaker 1: dog avatarre, you're living life crazily, gets and ship and
Speaker 1: I just I'm like, yummy, and then he'll like just
Speaker 1: respect and then but then there's this guy. I kinda
Speaker 1: want to show you a picture of him, and I
Speaker 1: hope this isn't That's why I was telling you earlier
Speaker 1: before we pressed the record button. If I'm crossing a
Speaker 1: moral boundary here, um, because I'm interested. Now, this is
Speaker 1: not the direction I thought I was going. There's this
Speaker 1: model guy, and this is where it gets tricky of
Speaker 1: me disclosing this stuff because I don't know. I guess
Speaker 1: this person, this is a pot. I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: he doesn't. I have no idea. Commented on his Instagram
Speaker 1: once because he's just hot and I was like, you're
Speaker 1: so hot. And then he started following me and like
Speaker 1: sending me pictures of himself in the shower. He's a model,
Speaker 1: he's a professional model, and and he sends me like
Speaker 1: pictures of his dick, and I'm like, this guy doesn't
Speaker 1: look that like so the message he sent me and
Speaker 1: I and I said, I was so. He sent me
Speaker 1: a photo of I don't know it was him in
Speaker 1: the shower or something. And I feel like he looks young.
Speaker 1: He looks here. Let me show you see that dick.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that's a spring chicken dick. Um, this
Speaker 1: is him. Oh, I mean he's not so I can
Speaker 1: tell he's not so young that there should be a problem.
Speaker 1: We're scared eighteen though I wouldn't be shocked. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying it. You know me, I'm not attracted to you.
Speaker 1: He looks older than eighteen. Well he's twenty three. Um
Speaker 1: there that much older, but whatever, eteen in twenty three
Speaker 1: is a huge difference in life and totally, but twenty
Speaker 1: three to me, that's the big guy I was talking
Speaker 1: about a couple of weeks ago. It was twenty three.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, if you're twenty three or born and
Speaker 1: ninety five, she didn't even have to look at a
Speaker 1: fucking calculator. This is why we because um. And then
Speaker 1: he like, so talking about this. I hope he doesn't listen.
Speaker 1: I don't think he does. Um, but he's like, where
Speaker 1: you at? I want to quit this. I g ship
Speaker 1: and just come pull my dick out for you in
Speaker 1: real life. But this is this is why I like
Speaker 1: the young UN's unhinge, because the young guys are a
Speaker 1: lot more aggressive and they care a lot more about stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I don't. I've never had an older guy be
Speaker 1: this aggressive. And I'm like, finally, well, you can wait
Speaker 1: for them to be you can. You can find one
Speaker 1: who is. But then that's the how you have for
Speaker 1: your lapses when you don't have relationships. Yeah, to keep
Speaker 1: you busy, keep your mind at ease. Um if uh.
Speaker 1: And then oh I thought you liked that, but oh
Speaker 1: you only answer when I send you a pick of
Speaker 1: my cock l O l and which is true. And
Speaker 1: then he's like, I was teaching me, which is fine,
Speaker 1: um down, but fun the virtual ship and then and
Speaker 1: then I was like ha ha fair. And then he said, well,
Speaker 1: I just got back to my spot in the place
Speaker 1: he lives. I would love to link up, would love
Speaker 1: to have an orgasm with you. I'm like, wow, twenty
Speaker 1: three year olds, I really like that's a very nice
Speaker 1: way to artic it. And then he sent me a
Speaker 1: photo and haven't I like that? He that he was
Speaker 1: complaining that you were only caring about his dick, like
Speaker 1: refreshing to have those gender roles of that. And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe you're a little piece of meat. Guy. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, a little guy. That sounds weird, but I
Speaker 1: just wanted to look at this. Oh that's not a
Speaker 1: good one, Christie. She literally opens it up and it's
Speaker 1: just like this flaccid penis laying on his uh, laying
Speaker 1: on his own stomach. Oh, I should write back, Wah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's just weird. It's just weird. It
Speaker 1: was the first time I've ever even like considered entertaining
Speaker 1: somebody their twenties in three that's so young. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I found a three year old if they were
Speaker 1: bringing it, But I wouldn't don't. I mean don't. I
Speaker 1: don't even don't know war you know, I don't even
Speaker 1: think about dating this person serious. You get wrapped into
Speaker 1: stuff sometimes, so I'm giving you a warning and I
Speaker 1: say that I'm comfortable and confident and I can just
Speaker 1: have a casual sex relationship. But maybe I can't. I
Speaker 1: really try to let you let people live their over
Speaker 1: their lives without me stepping in. But I gotta say something.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, I appreciate it, say something right away.
Speaker 1: I mean, if I'm dating someone that I'm like on
Speaker 1: cloud nine honestly, but this is how I want to know.
Speaker 1: But I think that we always we have really different
Speaker 1: tastes in men though, because I mean, I would say
Speaker 1: no to anyone you've ever picked so far right, But
Speaker 1: that's important information, so play. Yeah, but but for reasons,
Speaker 1: here's where I want to know. I don't care if
Speaker 1: you think they're hot or not. I don't think oh like,
Speaker 1: oh no, personally I'm talking about I was hard beat
Speaker 1: on all but again you like a different thing. But
Speaker 1: also track record not great, So you're not wrong, Karen,
Speaker 1: and I'm not offended by that. Mike. Melissa had a
Speaker 1: long talk with me in the Mexican Jungle about my choice.
Speaker 1: I think Melissa and I have like there's we have
Speaker 1: a lot of similar qualities in like our and I
Speaker 1: didn't you do, but I didn't have this twinge of
Speaker 1: like just yea, because I'm getting all this deck or
Speaker 1: like you know, the whole thing. Why you wouldn't say
Speaker 1: that in the beginning and wait for them to learn.
Speaker 1: I'd rather someone say it and not learn, because let
Speaker 1: me tell you something learn I got. I don't got
Speaker 1: a lot of time left in this world. I got
Speaker 1: maybe a good forty more years. Language really does change
Speaker 1: as a woman when you when you get past that
Speaker 1: to nine, you know, tell me if they're a loser,
Speaker 1: because I can't see it right away. Okay, well, because
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not gonna date this guy. I realized I'm
Speaker 1: a Dubbie downer and I'm really sensitive to it. Not
Speaker 1: about it. I'm sensitive to it because you know, you've
Speaker 1: commented like, wow, you really are uh like you have
Speaker 1: a glass half full thoughts, but you never like bum
Speaker 1: other people out. And I was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: keep that to myself, right because I really try to
Speaker 1: be careful about putting like the negativity to other people,
Speaker 1: even though in my head I'm like, well, this is
Speaker 1: gonna end terribly right, right right right? Yeah, But I
Speaker 1: I know your judgment a little bit better than most people,
Speaker 1: so like I know your track record when you have
Speaker 1: a bad feeling. So I mean like, but I'm but
Speaker 1: I'm I'm ext some people for crazy reasons, like you're
Speaker 1: wearing a fashion scarf or Ryan a scooter or both.
Speaker 1: Ron bitch. That's also dangerous because if it's a little longer,
Speaker 1: you get caught in attire. Oh see, that's another way
Speaker 1: you could die with scooter. There's an old Hollywood actress
Speaker 1: who is wearing a really really long, glamorous scarf and
Speaker 1: she was riding in a convertible and it got caught
Speaker 1: in the tire and she died. See it's like the
Speaker 1: kind of like that thing you can keep yourself to me,
Speaker 1: that's a cocktail anacodote. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I understand why some people might not be see I
Speaker 1: think it's can't wait to get side. Her pussy must
Speaker 1: be a coffin. Um yeah, I don't know. I really
Speaker 1: just rather I want an honesty policy from here on out.
Speaker 1: If if I mean, unless it makes the person my
Speaker 1: friend uncomfortable, But I asked Melissa this too. Please tell
Speaker 1: me if I'm dating a fucking why I could do
Speaker 1: because I am so sick of wasting my goddamn time
Speaker 1: and I really do love love so much and it's
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to it and I chase the highest highs
Speaker 1: all the time. That's why I'm trying to get into
Speaker 1: surfing so I can chase adrenaline and not men. But
Speaker 1: it's still going to happen. Um. But yeah, if I'm
Speaker 1: dating a loser, just tell me lose? What are you know?
Speaker 1: What I mean? Like, well, well, if there's any red flags,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to get offense. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get Aaronoid every time. No, I won't get offended because
Speaker 1: I really I know that I don't have a good
Speaker 1: radar and I'm trying to develop it. But do you
Speaker 1: know what your girls a little creaky like? Have you?
Speaker 1: Has anyone given you tips on how to sharpen those tools? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The thing is, I gotta listen to the instincts when
Speaker 1: they come up and go, you know, if I have
Speaker 1: like you know, if a guy or seeing makes out
Speaker 1: with a famous comedian in front of you, at a party.
Speaker 1: That's a red flag. But even though I had a
Speaker 1: conversation with you about it and then you still what
Speaker 1: I said, I right exactly, but I thought I felt
Speaker 1: like so at least you knew I was right, And
Speaker 1: that's something recognizing it, recognizing that someone is right and
Speaker 1: still doing it. Okay, okay, So that's at least something
Speaker 1: that the other the other um do, like the forty
Speaker 1: year old due from a while back that I was dating,
Speaker 1: uh it which is confusing because he gotta run into
Speaker 1: the flame because everyone I did that, but it's like
Speaker 1: my sweet spot. But he like, yeah, feel like I
Speaker 1: knew that that was not good and people tell me
Speaker 1: it was not good, and I was like, oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I know that. I'm just doing that because this is
Speaker 1: what I want to do right now. Yeah, and that's fine.
Speaker 1: You want to play on the playground, marry him? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, play on the playground with all the used
Speaker 1: condomns hanging around. It's a great dick and and you
Speaker 1: should you in a car deprive yourself of that. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think it's great qualities of
Speaker 1: a person for sexual adventures. Um. So you know, I
Speaker 1: just um, uh Uh yeah, just tell me if I'm
Speaker 1: Daniel M. Because I'm trying to sharpen my tools too.
Speaker 1: But for some things, like I feel like, uh, because
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of ways that the podcast has
Speaker 1: helped not harmed me and I when I was It's
Speaker 1: given me a lot of exposure to trauma, what it
Speaker 1: looks like in other people, and how to handle it.
Speaker 1: And so then going out into the world as one
Speaker 1: of the few people who did not experience childhood trauma
Speaker 1: Number one gives me the heads up that pretty much
Speaker 1: anyone I come across is going to have had it,
Speaker 1: so I just have to be ready for it and
Speaker 1: like had to hand like how to handle it better, um,
Speaker 1: and how it can surface inequality like my anxiety as
Speaker 1: a result of that. You know. So I think those
Speaker 1: those things are helpful, and also like how to not
Speaker 1: look on it, you know, upon it as a as
Speaker 1: a weakness, and how deeply it does affect many people
Speaker 1: into their adult lives. People with the traumatic thing probably
Speaker 1: already look at it as a weakness and it's just
Speaker 1: it's not It's just I mean, it's like I'm telling
Speaker 1: people it is, but it's just you know, sometimes how
Speaker 1: many times times. Can you hear a story about being
Speaker 1: fat and getting pushed into a pool when you're eight?
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know, are you? Uh Well, the
Speaker 1: one thing I wanted to talk about this because it
Speaker 1: give me the list uh just exciting or it knew
Speaker 1: is that something that made me happy on the internet.
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago was after we did the
Speaker 1: art Kelly. You know for two weeks in a where
Speaker 1: we talked about the Art Kelly documentary and I tweeted
Speaker 1: some stuff about it. I tweeted photos of some of
Speaker 1: the women who are still under the reign of R Kelly.
Speaker 1: I guess we we'll call it and as real. Clary's
Speaker 1: dad actually tweeted back at me, thinking, like us for
Speaker 1: talking about it and getting the message out there, which
Speaker 1: was I mean, I didn't want and I didn't him
Speaker 1: or like, I guess he's following different hashtags like the
Speaker 1: mute R Kelly hashtuck he must be following um and
Speaker 1: I just thought it was and he doesn't have a
Speaker 1: lot of followers himself and I and I just was like,
Speaker 1: it was really sweet that he had the time. You know,
Speaker 1: he's has way more on his plate than almost anyone
Speaker 1: I know, and to take the time and and respond.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure he appreciates the shift that is finally
Speaker 1: happening that needed to happen so long ago towards R. Kelly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and yeah, he's just he's just so appreciative, and you
Speaker 1: know he's still actively on the case trying to get
Speaker 1: his daughter home and so anything like if you think
Speaker 1: you're like, you know, one person with the only has
Speaker 1: a hundred followers, Like people really do appreciate it, and
Speaker 1: you never know who's going to see it. You know,
Speaker 1: just because you have a hundred followers doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: one person isn't gonna, you know, serendipulously walk by as
Speaker 1: real Clary one time and like the person who has
Speaker 1: the courage, she'd be like hey girl, or you know,
Speaker 1: you never know like what moment someone's gonna be at
Speaker 1: in their life because you can hear the same thing,
Speaker 1: you can hear the same thing times, but sometimes when
Speaker 1: you hear it the hundredth time, it breaks through. I
Speaker 1: just readid the Lady Gaga statement, Uh yeah, oh that's
Speaker 1: what she said about well now she's she she was like, ah, whoops.
Speaker 1: It was an inside joke because you know, She's doing
Speaker 1: all the press for whatever the star is born, and
Speaker 1: in almost every press conference she's talking about what's his name, No,
Speaker 1: Raley Cooper, Bradley Cooper, and she keeps saying, you know,
Speaker 1: there can be a hundred people in a room and
Speaker 1: don't believe in you, but all it takes is that
Speaker 1: one who does. She said that so many times that
Speaker 1: people made montages of her saying it, Oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1: So anytime someone tells me something serious, now I take
Speaker 1: a pause and I go, well, you know, and it
Speaker 1: takes them a while to figure out what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I I did a really good one on Rose. But
Speaker 1: I was really proud of myself because you think some
Speaker 1: thing amazing is going to come out of my mouth,
Speaker 1: it's not just it's real trust or gurgitated quote. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's good, it's fun, but yeah, that's it. Good by
Speaker 1: our by our book and pack. Oh yeah, we really
Speaker 1: should have been saying stuff about that. Yeah we stopped
Speaker 1: being sexually explored and self confident in a world That's screwed.
Speaker 1: Is now available in paperback form, go on Amazon anywhere
Speaker 1: books are sold. Just buy it if you want to.
Speaker 1: It's great, It's got a new cover and we wrote
Speaker 1: new pages about our breakups and yeah, yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna make too big of a deal about it because
Speaker 1: I'm hoping no one notices, but you know, people are
Speaker 1: obviously gonna read it, so you'll figure it out. You wrote, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but even though it's just you know, you let out
Speaker 1: some information that you don't talk about or you don't
Speaker 1: tell the other person about, and not out of malice.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, it's a weird career we have.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, and you know, books, man, they're weird. I
Speaker 1: know why people transitioned to online articles that are factually inaccurate,
Speaker 1: because let me tell you, when you write something in
Speaker 1: a book and then you want to retract some things
Speaker 1: that you said, you can't, I mean, what am I
Speaker 1: supposed to do? I retracted some well I took yeah,
Speaker 1: I attracted something from the dedication, but that was it.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but the thing is like when once it
Speaker 1: goes suppressed like this one, because even my my things
Speaker 1: that I wrote about James, like you know, my feelings,
Speaker 1: you know, had changed, And there was a part when
Speaker 1: I was like okay, freedom, and then there was a
Speaker 1: part where and I'm like, oh no, I'll never love again.
Speaker 1: And then like a couple of weeks ago, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll never love again. And now maybe I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: you like people can be nice to you, and not
Speaker 1: that he was not nice to me, but like I
Speaker 1: think there's uh, it can go well and smoothly. I
Speaker 1: can accept more love. Yeah, I don't know. We're working
Speaker 1: on it anyway. This week's guest she's a long time
Speaker 1: friend of ours, comedian that we've known for for many years,
Speaker 1: so talented, one of my favorites to watch. Her debut album, Undefeated,
Speaker 1: comes out in March eight, and it's available for pre
Speaker 1: order now. Will put the link in the description. Please
Speaker 1: welcome to the show, Tara Clay, Welcome in onto the
Speaker 1: New Age. Do want to be sign you now when
Speaker 1: ever and off to the new day? Doant to be
Speaker 1: sign your way passive? What you've got to ask? Feeling
Speaker 1: about amy way possible? Making a you're gonna ba ba
Speaker 1: and and that made it become when they want to
Speaker 1: see what they go. Hey, I'm gonna say that high
Speaker 1: spur again. Just drying your back. Okay, we are here
Speaker 1: with Kara Klang. Hi guys Hi, I love that unison
Speaker 1: of course, we're just talking about sexy. The winter is yeah,
Speaker 1: dry mouth from that you can't control your nose is chap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like you actually have a great, a really good sexy voice.
Speaker 1: You never hear it until you, like you like close
Speaker 1: your eyes and then here's someone in the headphones and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh that's good. Yeah. I have like a
Speaker 1: deep voice, but I also am just like I had
Speaker 1: a cold a few days ago that I'm told over now,
Speaker 1: but I'm having residual, like residual Rachel Ray, if you will, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like it. I like I like guys I know
Speaker 1: are very sexually attracted to Rachel Ray. Really she cooks
Speaker 1: a lot. That's my brother's in love with Rachel Ray.
Speaker 1: My first boyfriend was Yeah, like good food, hardy food.
Speaker 1: I feel like she's like the queen of that. She
Speaker 1: probably gives a lot of Midwestern guys a big boner. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. They're like, she'd make me chilly before the
Speaker 1: game and then like give me an h J, like
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, because she seems and she always like
Speaker 1: I don't want to be crass. Yeah, Like she comes
Speaker 1: off it's like a little bit sweet, but then you
Speaker 1: think I think she's like has like a little bit
Speaker 1: of a bitchy side that comes out something that'll be awesome.
Speaker 1: I also like that garbage bowl that she marketed because
Speaker 1: it's literally just a bowl, but then she called it
Speaker 1: a garbage bowl like you have it on when you're
Speaker 1: cooking to put like scraps in of like lines or skin.
Speaker 1: So it's just like your garbage can. It's literally just
Speaker 1: a bowl, but it seems special. And so she marketed
Speaker 1: that and make money off of it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's I need to be around ship market a bowl.
Speaker 1: But it's a garbage for garbage, And you could have
Speaker 1: just moved your garbage candle. You could have taken a
Speaker 1: ball in the cabinet grown garbage. Because I do that,
Speaker 1: Like I make those, Um, I make those like Hello
Speaker 1: fresh meals and stuff. Yeah, and like I use the
Speaker 1: bag as like my garbage bag, and then like everything
Speaker 1: that I don't use and then I, you know, it
Speaker 1: all my garbage kitchen. Yeah. Maybe I'm gonna come out
Speaker 1: with a competing product that I can get these bitches
Speaker 1: to pay for a bowl and convince them that it's
Speaker 1: for Garbaee. The mind is a crazy thing. I was
Speaker 1: just um, I was on the show last night, where
Speaker 1: Mataolane was doing a bit about how Rachel Ray will
Speaker 1: never go away because she's one of Oprah's whore Crux's
Speaker 1: which ye like and draws after Phil like there's all
Speaker 1: these people she created and they're never going away. And
Speaker 1: then people were like, I thought she was canceled after
Speaker 1: she killed all those dogs with her dog food, and
Speaker 1: I was like, she had like a bad dog food,
Speaker 1: But I think Ellen de General has had a bad
Speaker 1: dog food too. She has had a dog food a
Speaker 1: lot of time years that aren't great. And they say
Speaker 1: like smile and joy kind of like toebags. Hopefully I
Speaker 1: step up from topebags, but not nice enough to be
Speaker 1: like you're you're all the time purse. It's like just
Speaker 1: dance it off like that kind of like that kind
Speaker 1: of vibe, and I did not like it. You know,
Speaker 1: people are people are so mesmerized by celebrities, myself included.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm have you ever been around a celebrity
Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm kissing your ass And I don't
Speaker 1: want to be, but I am. Yeah. It's it's it's weird.
Speaker 1: It's this weird power have you have? It has that
Speaker 1: ever happened? Well, yeah, I mean I've been around a
Speaker 1: lot of celebrities before, and I try to like play
Speaker 1: it cool and then sometimes, you know, you feel like
Speaker 1: you're playing it too cool. We're like kind ever lend close,
Speaker 1: you're rude. I've been. My husband has a whole story
Speaker 1: about how he was really rude to Ben Still once
Speaker 1: because he was trying to be so cool that he
Speaker 1: actually ended up being a real dick to him. Um,
Speaker 1: and he regrets it. So just be cool, celebs, guys.
Speaker 1: It's hard because you want to you're trying so hard
Speaker 1: to be normal that you're acting like an alien. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was. We were talking about this earlier where we're
Speaker 1: recording an intro for for one of the episodes about
Speaker 1: sex ed and how a lot of um the concept
Speaker 1: the concept like the sex sex said in public schools, uh,
Speaker 1: And how a lot of them don't teach about female
Speaker 1: organ most of them don't even mention the females can
Speaker 1: have an orgasm. Oh yeah, a lot of them are
Speaker 1: absence only and a lot of them are not legally
Speaker 1: obligated to present factual information. Did you what was your
Speaker 1: sex said? I honestly like don't remember this is funny
Speaker 1: because I was just watching that show Sexual Sex Education
Speaker 1: and and I was like, and they were in a
Speaker 1: sex said class and they're doing that classic scene of
Speaker 1: like putting the condom on the banana, and I was
Speaker 1: like telling my husband, I was like, I never did this.
Speaker 1: I never touched a condom like until yeah. And then,
Speaker 1: like I remember when I was growing up, Like I
Speaker 1: may think I'm a few years older than you guys,
Speaker 1: but like AIDS was like the hugest thing in our
Speaker 1: sex education. It was just like AIDS, like don't touch
Speaker 1: anyone or you're gonna get AIDS. Like so that was
Speaker 1: like a huge thing in my young like sex that
Speaker 1: I remember, like a lot of stuff about AIDS, Like
Speaker 1: we never learned anything about like pregnancy, Like I just
Speaker 1: didn't learn a lot about that. And I went to
Speaker 1: like good public schools in Connecticut. But I mean I
Speaker 1: think that's why, because they're like, we don't talk about
Speaker 1: that in Connecticut, you know, like we just didn't get
Speaker 1: that ship Yeah, momsy will talk to you about it
Speaker 1: at home. And then yeah, shit, did they preach absinence
Speaker 1: or push it at all? Or I mean my mother
Speaker 1: purched abstinence. My mom was like don't have sex do
Speaker 1: we get married? And I was like did you do that?
Speaker 1: And she was like, let's change the subject, Like she
Speaker 1: definitely had sex before she was married, but Deaf pushed
Speaker 1: us to do that. But yeah, in school, I'm like
Speaker 1: trying to remember, we had like life skills, right, so
Speaker 1: like there would be all kinds of different things in
Speaker 1: life skills, but sex education was like really backseat. Like
Speaker 1: I don't remember seeing maybe I remember seeing a couple
Speaker 1: of biological photos of like the inside, you know, like
Speaker 1: you know when they like slice the body in half
Speaker 1: and they're like, here's the ovaries and like here's the yeah,
Speaker 1: like the scrowed um and the dick and everything, and
Speaker 1: like that part you kind of don't even need to
Speaker 1: know at all. Unfortunately, I'm like I don't need to
Speaker 1: know like what comes out of what hole? To get
Speaker 1: heads up on the balls, the fact that they're they're there. Well,
Speaker 1: I also had little brothers, so I knew about the
Speaker 1: mail anatomy a lot from giving them baths. I was like,
Speaker 1: where is this It's gonna like, you know, because like
Speaker 1: I'm seting, I'm seven and nine years older than my brothers,
Speaker 1: so I would like, you know they were like little nuggets,
Speaker 1: and I would just like and then I'm like, I
Speaker 1: have cousins that are British and we're uncircumcised, and I
Speaker 1: was like, mom, what is wrong with their dicks? Because
Speaker 1: they look different than my brothers who work circumcised, like
Speaker 1: he's going on. So that's how I learned about that.
Speaker 1: It's I have a nephew and he's three, and I
Speaker 1: would have to like take him to the bathroom a
Speaker 1: couple of times. You know, I don't see him as
Speaker 1: often as I would like to. I've never given him
Speaker 1: a bath, but you know, he can't wipe himself, and
Speaker 1: I just I always feel just uncomfortable because I don't
Speaker 1: want I I act as if and I feel bad
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm making him feel bad that
Speaker 1: I'm acting where because he doesn't give a fuck, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry, if you just want to, I mean,
Speaker 1: you do it like add shame to like the whole area,
Speaker 1: and I just don't. I don't know, and it makes
Speaker 1: me uncomfortable and I can't. I was just telling someone
Speaker 1: a story about how I used to babysit for this
Speaker 1: kid and his mom was like he was like five
Speaker 1: and his mom was like, he what's the bed, but
Speaker 1: he won't put a diaper on before bed. He's like embarrassed,
Speaker 1: So could you wait till he falls asleep and then
Speaker 1: put a diaper on him? And I was like okay,
Speaker 1: so I would do that. This happened. This was like
Speaker 1: every time my baby. How old is this kid? Five?
Speaker 1: Like five? I got a lot of pride for a fucker. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So he won't put the diaper on, so I would
Speaker 1: have to go and like sleep and slip into his room.
Speaker 1: I mean on a nest cam. This would look very
Speaker 1: creepy and like I would just like slip the diaper under.
Speaker 1: Then a lot of times he would have a little
Speaker 1: boner and then he would have liked to take the diaper,
Speaker 1: and I I didn't want to touch the boner, so like
Speaker 1: with my hand, so I would like have the diaper
Speaker 1: and I'd be trying to take the top part of
Speaker 1: the diaper and like smush it down so that his
Speaker 1: little boner wasn't like facing off at his own eyes
Speaker 1: or whatever. Yeah, I didn't want to break his dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a pretty fun experience for five dollars an hour,
Speaker 1: you know, five probably probably seven. I don't. I was
Speaker 1: really young. This was like when I was twelve. Oh
Speaker 1: got it, got Yeah, It's that one of those will
Speaker 1: because like I know this kid now and he's like yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like he lives in the Do you guys need
Speaker 1: honestly your baby boner baby boner? And we are interested
Speaker 1: art Oh my gosh. Yeah, so you're you're pregnant now,
Speaker 1: so I tell everyone. I think that's I'm fascinated by this.
Speaker 1: How do you feel like seven months of seven months
Speaker 1: in one week pregnant? And um, I don't like to
Speaker 1: do the weeks. I feel like it makes people do
Speaker 1: unnecessary math um, And I feel great. I really feel
Speaker 1: like I'm I feel lucky, like I'm having a very
Speaker 1: pretty easy pregnancy. I mean, I hear horror stories from friends,
Speaker 1: are like I threw up the whole time. I fellow terrible.
Speaker 1: You know Amy Schumer I follow. I was just gonna say,
Speaker 1: Amy and I think are like on the same pretty much.
Speaker 1: We are due dates must be very close a terrible time.
Speaker 1: So I like when I see stuff like that, I like,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm hashtag blessed. Um. I just yeah,
Speaker 1: it's been going pretty well for me, which people say
Speaker 1: is a sign of a boy. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: hate that. I'm like, well, yeah, because it's hard to
Speaker 1: have a girl. Girls like take your beauty. There's like
Speaker 1: all this's like bullshit old wives tales, but like if
Speaker 1: you look like ship and you feel like you're having
Speaker 1: a girl. But this is why women don't support other women,
Speaker 1: Like it's like your type feminist out of the gate
Speaker 1: bell is gonna face and then you're gonna have a
Speaker 1: competitive relationship with your daughter forever. What's gonna be hotter? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're not finding out the sex, so I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm having. My brother did that. I think it's
Speaker 1: a nice little surprise. Is there's like no surprises now.
Speaker 1: Were you both on board for that, because my brother
Speaker 1: and his his partner at the time, she was like,
Speaker 1: but I want to know, and he was like, but
Speaker 1: I don't. You were both you don't want to know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were both like that would be fun, let's just
Speaker 1: do it. And now now that it's getting closer, I'm like, god,
Speaker 1: I kind of just want to know. But he's like, nope,
Speaker 1: we agreed, and I'm like, yeah, of course, because I'm
Speaker 1: knowing you would I would imagine you make all these
Speaker 1: preconceived notions about who the kid's going to be, right,
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, I mean I just really feel like
Speaker 1: does it matter. Is it really going to change your
Speaker 1: life that much if you find out it's a boy
Speaker 1: or it's a girl. Like we're not decorating a nursery
Speaker 1: blue or pink or anything like that anyway, So as
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that the other day, because some
Speaker 1: people are so and a lot of times you will
Speaker 1: have moms and I hear more often than not, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I hope my first kid as a boy, because people
Speaker 1: have this like family structure that they want where like
Speaker 1: the boys to be older and like then they're gonna
Speaker 1: have a girl and they're gonna that's gonna protect the
Speaker 1: girl or something. It's very strange. That's interesting because I'm
Speaker 1: the oldest of six kids, so I've always though I
Speaker 1: wanted to have a girl first to yeah, I did
Speaker 1: so much for my mom that I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: the older girls like help you and like, you know,
Speaker 1: like you just want all girls. Yeah, exactly, army of
Speaker 1: helpful women. That's what I'm aiming for. But yeah, but
Speaker 1: obviously I'm fine with whatever. I just um, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: both kind of like, let's see what happens in two months.
Speaker 1: That's exciting. How long have you been married? We have
Speaker 1: been married for three and a half years. Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: So yeah that's like I feel like, and how have
Speaker 1: you been together? Total? Okay? So we got together in
Speaker 1: so we've been together for eight years, but we broke
Speaker 1: up for six months for a year. But we don't
Speaker 1: really tell after anymore because we're like we used to
Speaker 1: be like we're together like two years that for six
Speaker 1: months we've broken up, but now it's like so long
Speaker 1: that like who cares? But yeah, I like that we
Speaker 1: were we got married at five years. We were married
Speaker 1: for like three before we got pregnant, and it'll be
Speaker 1: nice that we had like some married time before time
Speaker 1: to yourself. Yeah, we had a nice three years of
Speaker 1: like not having a kid. Yeah. And was was it
Speaker 1: completely planned or was it very planned? Okay? Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I'm always interested in that, and like, so what is
Speaker 1: the planning process for deciding like you want to have
Speaker 1: a kid? Oh my god? Look like for you it's
Speaker 1: like so, I mean everybody says this, but like I
Speaker 1: was like, we're going to start trying and then we'll
Speaker 1: just be pregnant immediately, and like I actually did get
Speaker 1: pregnant pretty quickly. I had a miscarriage, and then I
Speaker 1: got pregnant again pretty quickly, had another one, and then
Speaker 1: I got pregnant immediately after that and had that and
Speaker 1: I had this one. So like I'm really open about
Speaker 1: that because I feel like everyone should be more open
Speaker 1: about miscarriages. You feel though, well, the first one was
Speaker 1: literally sorry, I just don't want to have like gross
Speaker 1: flum voice. Um. The first one, I was like a
Speaker 1: week pregnant, so it was like I had two days
Speaker 1: where I thought it was pregnant and then like you
Speaker 1: basically just get like a heavy period and it's likely
Speaker 1: that it's not viable. Yeah. The second one was farther along,
Speaker 1: so I did have to get like a procedure, which
Speaker 1: was a pain. I mean, not like traumatic for me,
Speaker 1: but traumatic for some. Like I don't judge if it's
Speaker 1: traumatic for people. Um, just like the procedure was annoying.
Speaker 1: The products of conception, like you basically just have to
Speaker 1: remove it and is it a is it a fetus?
Speaker 1: That guy, it can be, but in my case it
Speaker 1: was a really it was a thing where I had
Speaker 1: everything in my body was like you're pregnant. There was
Speaker 1: like a sack. There was like you were in lining
Speaker 1: was like thickened everything, but there was nothing there. So
Speaker 1: it was like I call it a ghost baby, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't. People think that that's insensitive you call your
Speaker 1: ghost baby. So like, basically you can get these procedures
Speaker 1: where they're basically like you can get the procedure or
Speaker 1: you can just let your body do it naturally. But
Speaker 1: if your body doesn't naturally, you like don't know how
Speaker 1: long it's gonna last. It could hit at any time.
Speaker 1: Do it naturally is like getting that stack out of you.
Speaker 1: It would just you would start bleeding, basically, yeah, and
Speaker 1: so like but do I want to bleed for four
Speaker 1: weeks not knowing when? Like yeah, you know. Like so
Speaker 1: I was just like I'll do the procedure, get everything set,
Speaker 1: and then honestly I was. I got pregnant like a
Speaker 1: month later. The one I have now that is very
Speaker 1: far along and I think it's going to work out,
Speaker 1: so so um yeah. So but like the whole process
Speaker 1: of like trying is like I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people are really funny where they're like, oh, we're just
Speaker 1: like we pulled the goalie and we're just gonna see
Speaker 1: what happens. And I'm like, you can literally only get
Speaker 1: pregnant for like thirty six hours out of the month.
Speaker 1: It's maybe if you're like twenty, you're like super fertile
Speaker 1: in your your window is like five days, but like
Speaker 1: when you're in your thirties, it's a lot shorter. So,
Speaker 1: like I was using an app for a little while,
Speaker 1: and the app I realized, like doesn't it's not accurate,
Speaker 1: and if it's off by a day, you're off, you know.
Speaker 1: So I actually just started like peeing on the ovulation
Speaker 1: sticks and I think those are the best way. And
Speaker 1: I like tell all my friends that are trying, Like
Speaker 1: in earnest, I'm like, you gotta pee on those sticks
Speaker 1: during your window. And when you get that smiley face,
Speaker 1: it just winks at you. It's like a pick to dick.
Speaker 1: And then you like basically tell your part You're like
Speaker 1: I just would tell my husband, Okay, we have to
Speaker 1: have sex right down. He'd be like, I don't really
Speaker 1: like work like that. I'm like, I don't like, yeah,
Speaker 1: so you gotta like romance your partner a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sometimes women, as a woman, I forget like, oh, I
Speaker 1: gotta do some work. I gotta I gotta turn, I
Speaker 1: gotta arouse you, I gotta tease. He's like, I'm not
Speaker 1: just like here for your amusement. He gets real sensitive.
Speaker 1: I feel like when trying to conceive is the one
Speaker 1: time where the woman, tradition in a strate relationship, and
Speaker 1: we have traditionally acts more like the man. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: like I'm taking I'm the one keeping track of the stuff.
Speaker 1: He's not like tracking it, you know, Like so yeah,
Speaker 1: so like it was very it was planned, but you
Speaker 1: don't but you can't account for these other things that
Speaker 1: come up. So I I mean, I guess I would
Speaker 1: tell people like I don't know, like kind of decide
Speaker 1: when you're going to try and like actually try rather
Speaker 1: than like the whole we'll see what happens. Because then
Speaker 1: I've had some friends that are like, well, we did that,
Speaker 1: we'll see what happens for like two years and nothing happened,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well that's because like it's really more scientific,
Speaker 1: like you really have to like nail down those Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think, especially like you know a lot of people
Speaker 1: are now having kids in their thirties when you know
Speaker 1: a couple of decades ago. It was people in their twenties.
Speaker 1: So I think that's why because I just don't remember,
Speaker 1: like certainly like when I was growing up or when
Speaker 1: my mom had my brother or any of my mom's friends.
Speaker 1: I don't remember it being like so tough, And if
Speaker 1: it is tough, it was more of like a story,
Speaker 1: whereas nowadays, like everyone's like trying for like a long
Speaker 1: time to have to have kids, because like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: even like I didn't even know an ovulation stick was
Speaker 1: a thing. Obviously, I know about the tracker, Um, but
Speaker 1: was this stuff that you just knew or when you
Speaker 1: started to talk about having a baby, like you got books,
Speaker 1: you went online. Because I feel like I'm thirty three
Speaker 1: years old and I don't know objection. Well I had
Speaker 1: heard about like I knew about the track or but
Speaker 1: I I did look a couple of things up online,
Speaker 1: and um, like it's just stuff about like it's better
Speaker 1: for like the woman to be on the bottom. Like
Speaker 1: I just told a friend that the other day, and
Speaker 1: I was like, it's better for you to do missionary
Speaker 1: on the bottom, because I mean, just it's physics sense,
Speaker 1: you know, like don't make the sperm work for it,
Speaker 1: don't make them climb out everest like. So it's just
Speaker 1: there's like a couple of things I looked up online
Speaker 1: and then I was just using the app because they
Speaker 1: have Somebody told me about an app and oh my god,
Speaker 1: you guys these apps are like so sad. Some of them,
Speaker 1: like they have they have community forums and what do
Speaker 1: they talk about? They talk they're like sad women with
Speaker 1: no friends and they're like I just walked in on
Speaker 1: my husband cheating on me. And that's when they share that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, don't do you have any like or
Speaker 1: they'll be like, this is my wedding dress. Just wanted
Speaker 1: to share it with two thousand strangers on an ovulation app,
Speaker 1: Like why is that? Who's seeing your wedding dream that
Speaker 1: I know? And like it would be like people, I
Speaker 1: mean sometimes like people sharing like you know, their their
Speaker 1: their pregnancy tests, like they're like we've been trying for
Speaker 1: two years and here's our positive result. Like that's very
Speaker 1: cute and like yeah they're trying to Yeah, tell the
Speaker 1: people I was having a hard time. I'd be like
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you, yeah exactly. Yeah, So like
Speaker 1: it was God the app was harrowing. I never went
Speaker 1: to the community tab after the first time, but um,
Speaker 1: but then a friend told me. A friend was like, well,
Speaker 1: are you using the sticks? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what like and then I started using those because and
Speaker 1: that's why I like I try to tell people about them.
Speaker 1: You can get really cheap ones, and you can get
Speaker 1: like more expensive electronic ones like with the smiley face,
Speaker 1: and like depends on how what your budget is. But
Speaker 1: but they do the same thing that they basically do
Speaker 1: the same thing, and they like tell you like you
Speaker 1: have this hormone this day, and like this is what
Speaker 1: once more Instagram friendly. Yeah, the smiley face is obviously
Speaker 1: like cuter. You don't let your friends in your pores.
Speaker 1: You have to get the electric, get the electronic but
Speaker 1: they are like expensive, it's like forty probably for like
Speaker 1: the thing, and then it has ten tests and ten
Speaker 1: tests and we would you do this kind of around
Speaker 1: just at the time when you think like those like
Speaker 1: three like the few days before, so like don't do
Speaker 1: it every day of the month, like you're not obviously
Speaker 1: lading obviously, And then if it's a smiley face that
Speaker 1: to go to yeah, exactly, that's pants down what was
Speaker 1: what was the situation where Jared was the farthest away
Speaker 1: from being aroused when it was go time on a
Speaker 1: stick for you? Um, there was just a time where
Speaker 1: he was just like I just can't do it like this,
Speaker 1: like I can't just like have you read this little
Speaker 1: smiley face and like tell me that I have to
Speaker 1: go right now. And I was like, like, I think
Speaker 1: I was stressing him out because I was like, come on,
Speaker 1: let's go, like yeah, like and so just that we
Speaker 1: like saving up sexes though, because you're like, oh, we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to have sex at certain times this month.
Speaker 1: So he loves I mean he loves to have sex.
Speaker 1: Like we were definitely doing it around time multiple times.
Speaker 1: But sometimes I would be like I would be like
Speaker 1: I'd really like to do it twice today and he'd
Speaker 1: be like, I mean, okay, let's see what happens. Like
Speaker 1: you know, So like I was baby pushing him a
Speaker 1: little bit, but you know what I get results? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: figured it out. How old are you currently? How old?
Speaker 1: I'm seventy? No, I am great, I'm thirty eight. The
Speaker 1: reason I asked that is my nephew's mom is in
Speaker 1: her mid to late thirties and uh the doctors said
Speaker 1: that she and she was like, what the fuck? They
Speaker 1: labeled her pregnancy at Gerry Patrick and I'm like that
Speaker 1: language advanced maternal age. I'm of I am of advanced
Speaker 1: maternal age, and I am having a geriatric pregnancy as
Speaker 1: well my next one, and so the doctors used those words.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it doesn't really change anything about like
Speaker 1: your There's a few more tests that they'll run for
Speaker 1: like genetic abnormalities and stuff like that, but it really
Speaker 1: I have not felt any differently than I think like
Speaker 1: a year old deals And did you have any response
Speaker 1: to that word? Because I remember when Alana had told
Speaker 1: me about it, I'm like, what the I got piste
Speaker 1: for her? I don't know why. I think it's thirty
Speaker 1: five and above because Christine me and Hans was too. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, do you have any feelings towards it being
Speaker 1: I think it's like so stupid, But it didn't like
Speaker 1: like I heard it was obviously way before I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Was like, I can't believe they call it that, and
Speaker 1: then I was like, now I just think it's funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's like ridiculous. Yeah, Jerry Geriatric truly makes
Speaker 1: it sound like I'm ninety. There's Elizabeth Jennet Jackson is
Speaker 1: like had a baby when she was fifty. Like everyone's
Speaker 1: fine because I think they're I mean, they're not like
Speaker 1: trying to make you feel older. They're just just talking
Speaker 1: about like in the lifespan of someone who is of
Speaker 1: child bearing age, you are at the older end. But
Speaker 1: I mean, I think also sometimes we forget, like in
Speaker 1: our feminist lifestyles, like science is science and like until
Speaker 1: it improves, like if you want to have a baby,
Speaker 1: you gotta make moves by like forty, Yeah you really did,
Speaker 1: you can do about it. And Janet Jackson, I mean
Speaker 1: like when you she probably had like exactly and like
Speaker 1: who knows if that was even Like that might have
Speaker 1: been like a super in vitro situation, blowing it out
Speaker 1: with one of those like computer keyboard cleaners. Like it's
Speaker 1: very there's a there's something going on up there. Ice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like my mom started having us when she was thirty three,
Speaker 1: which was pretty old for that time, and she had
Speaker 1: six kids, so she had my brother twin brothers and
Speaker 1: she was forty. So I feel like genetically, I always
Speaker 1: thought I can wait a little bit, Like I know
Speaker 1: I could wait a little um And you know, I
Speaker 1: have friends that had their first babies before their first
Speaker 1: year wedding anniversary. You know, like they got on it immediately.
Speaker 1: That wasn't like what we wanted to do. And I
Speaker 1: think I'll be I'm gonna have more than one, probably,
Speaker 1: and I think I'll be fine. I also feel like
Speaker 1: I cannot believe the difference between myself, my self esteem,
Speaker 1: and how much I know and how much calmer I
Speaker 1: am as a person between even twenty eight and thirty now.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine like I would be so put together.
Speaker 1: I've always said to myself, I wanted to have kids
Speaker 1: by like thirty five, thirty six because I would be
Speaker 1: such a calmer person. I wouldn't be worried about everything.
Speaker 1: And totally I feel like you would crave something more
Speaker 1: in your marriage, your life, your I think I don't know.
Speaker 1: My husband like talks all the time about his mom
Speaker 1: and like how he was raised, and I'm like, Jared,
Speaker 1: can you keep in mind that your mom had you
Speaker 1: when she was twenty two, so like, imagine if you
Speaker 1: were our age right now, when you had a sixteen
Speaker 1: year old, like that's like what it would be like.
Speaker 1: You know, we're still like party and we're so fun,
Speaker 1: you know, like she had to give up a lot,
Speaker 1: and it's just like but I agree, Like not that
Speaker 1: she did a bad job at all. She did a
Speaker 1: wonderful job. But like, I just think having kids later.
Speaker 1: I tell everyone to do everything later. I'm like, don't
Speaker 1: get married till your thirty, don't have kids. Were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: getting married everyone, if you want to marry that person
Speaker 1: so bad. Wait, my brother just got married at twenty
Speaker 1: seven a couple of years ago, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: so like babies getting married and it's like a hundred
Speaker 1: years ago twenty seven, you would just be a grandparent
Speaker 1: or something, you know, thinking about retirement Martha, Like it's
Speaker 1: really crazy. But yeah, I tell everyone like weight on
Speaker 1: all that ship, Like you're right, Like you're just so
Speaker 1: much more chilled out. You know who you are, you
Speaker 1: know the things you want. Like did you always you
Speaker 1: wanted to get married and have kids or I always
Speaker 1: knew I wanted to have kids. I never really cared
Speaker 1: about getting married. I told my husband. I was like
Speaker 1: I was like, he was like, well, so what's our play?
Speaker 1: He was very always interested in a timeline like when
Speaker 1: what I proposed to you and when when we get
Speaker 1: married and when when we and I was like, look,
Speaker 1: I don't really care if we get married. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm down to do the Goldie hawn Kurt Russell think
Speaker 1: if you want. I just do want to have kids,
Speaker 1: and he was like, well, I think if we have kids,
Speaker 1: we should get married. And I was like, that's fine,
Speaker 1: that's important to you. And I had our wedding was
Speaker 1: a blast, and I love being married, and like that's fine.
Speaker 1: But if it hadn't happened for me and I just
Speaker 1: had him like a partner, I'd be I would be fine,
Speaker 1: Like the actual white wedding and all that ship was
Speaker 1: never like in my mind because it's just it's it's
Speaker 1: interesting because I feel like there are so few female
Speaker 1: comedians with like traditional lifestyles and sometimes it's like it's
Speaker 1: like it's like I never even wanted it. But then
Speaker 1: like it doesn't make me sad because I'm like, why
Speaker 1: don't have to live such a fucked up like style?
Speaker 1: Do anything normal? Because being a comedian is so abnormal
Speaker 1: to begin with, I know, even having a baby. I
Speaker 1: was like, who are my role models for this, Like
Speaker 1: everyone's like, oh, you could do the alie Wan thing.
Speaker 1: I go, do you get that She's already done it.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get a Netflix and she did
Speaker 1: it well like ali Wan killed it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be like you guys need more pregnant sack. What if
Speaker 1: you did a special while you were in labor? Oh
Speaker 1: damn girl just saying I need a new manager as
Speaker 1: you um no, Like so I was like thinking about that.
Speaker 1: I was, and I actually had a friend who's another
Speaker 1: female comedian, and she was just like fuck it. I mean,
Speaker 1: like we don't have role models for so many things.
Speaker 1: Just like do what you want to do, you know,
Speaker 1: Like that was what I was thinking about getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: I was like, but like, I still want some more
Speaker 1: things to happen in my career, and what if it's
Speaker 1: like I don't want I mean, honestly, I haven't told
Speaker 1: I haven't announced on social media that I'm pregnant. I
Speaker 1: just tell people face to face. I talked about it
Speaker 1: on stage, but I'm not being super public about because like,
Speaker 1: I don't want people to put me in this box
Speaker 1: of like she's pregnant and not work and like not
Speaker 1: available because like, I'm avail smart, very smart. I want
Speaker 1: to work. I want to do stuff. I want to
Speaker 1: get writing jobs and performing stuff, and like I just
Speaker 1: don't want because I do think people kind of do that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're like, oh, well she had her kids and
Speaker 1: she kind of went whereas like never with a male
Speaker 1: comedian and they're not like, oh, Tom has a couple
Speaker 1: of kids. Now, yeah, Tom Segura has kids. Now he's performing.
Speaker 1: It was like, my twins were was born, but he's
Speaker 1: having his birthday. Yeah, We're like, where's your wife? She's like,
Speaker 1: t I know, I just emailed him about his twins.
Speaker 1: His birthday party I went to the Right was one
Speaker 1: of the things I went to right before I moved
Speaker 1: to l A. And I saw so many famous people
Speaker 1: and I was like, what was it this past year? No,
Speaker 1: it was in two thousand and sixteen, I think, okay, um,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I moved like the very beginning of January,
Speaker 1: so I think it was yeah often, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I've lived in New York for eleven years and I
Speaker 1: never saw famous people really, and like he's at this party.
Speaker 1: Bill Murray was so weird. Yeah, he did it joint
Speaker 1: with brook Fan Poplin and it was that. It was
Speaker 1: at Sid's Gold. Yeah. He always was like karaoke with
Speaker 1: like a live piano player. It was great. I sang song,
Speaker 1: it was so fun. Oh my gosh, you do have
Speaker 1: the energy of I don't want to say a regular person,
Speaker 1: but pregnant person, because even when you walked in a
Speaker 1: lot of times and and like I mean, I would
Speaker 1: fully expect to feel that way, like people walking real slow, sweating,
Speaker 1: a lot going on. I am very full and more
Speaker 1: energized than I am. I actually really weirdly feel very
Speaker 1: energetic during this pregnancy. And I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I'm having a good old time. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I'm not going to say like I
Speaker 1: love being pregnant. I'm just one of those girls I
Speaker 1: love think about that. It just feels so. But if
Speaker 1: you do, I don't, I feel great. I just don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't love how my boobs are enormous
Speaker 1: and have like veins in them now and like my
Speaker 1: abdomen is separating. But like, oh sure, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: love my vagina after this the whole thing app goes down.
Speaker 1: But like the way I feel right now during my
Speaker 1: second and third Timemester, I felt very good. So I'm
Speaker 1: just like, do you think you're gonna hate your good?
Speaker 1: Do you think you're gonna hate your vagina? After? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who's to say? I thought whenever I think about having kids,
Speaker 1: I and this is why I don't. I always thought
Speaker 1: I was gonna But I don't know. But I think
Speaker 1: that's something that the veag rejuvenation is so painful. I've
Speaker 1: read that it's more painful than childbirth. What is the rejuvenation?
Speaker 1: You know, like what likes doing stuff? I think it's
Speaker 1: like a face left for you. It might be like laser.
Speaker 1: But like I read somewhere in a book that this
Speaker 1: woman did it. It It was like it was more painful
Speaker 1: than when I gave birth to my kids. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you just keep it? Yeah? Wow. I'm also fascinated by, um,
Speaker 1: the way the public men and women treat pregnant women.
Speaker 1: I've watched a while ago The Business of Being Born?
Speaker 1: And is that the Ricky Lake? Yeah, and just everybody
Speaker 1: telling like just judging women and assuming they don't know
Speaker 1: what they're doing. Not obviously not everybody, but um. I
Speaker 1: saw this video on Instagram the other day Kelly Roland
Speaker 1: posted it. It was a dancer doing a choreographed dance,
Speaker 1: like a hip hop dance to one of her songs,
Speaker 1: and this woman was pregnant and she was like all
Speaker 1: over the place. And I've seen pregnant women like bodybuilders,
Speaker 1: where they're like eight months pregnant and you barely see
Speaker 1: a bump and it's but it's still healthy. Um. So
Speaker 1: I'm curious if you felt or have gotten directly any
Speaker 1: body putting anything on you of like like, uh, you
Speaker 1: should do this, or well, my Mike sometimes my husband
Speaker 1: honestly is a little bit like let me lift that,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can lift stuff. I'm not like
Speaker 1: lifting you know, heavy machinery, but like I don't like
Speaker 1: being baby like at all. So that's a little bit
Speaker 1: the doctor tell you don't lift them. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: the doctor like he came to the doctor with me
Speaker 1: because he wanted to ask her questions, and he like
Speaker 1: I wasn't believing the things I was telling him, so
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this feels good, this feels and
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like you're undermining me at all. Um. But
Speaker 1: he like came with me to like because he's very
Speaker 1: nervous about I just recently started having an occasional glass
Speaker 1: of wine, which everybody has told me is fine. He
Speaker 1: came to the doctor to like get confirmation from the
Speaker 1: doctor about that, because that makes him extremely nervous. In fact,
Speaker 1: I don't do it in front of him now, like
Speaker 1: now I have to die away from him. He's very
Speaker 1: he has he has anxieties, and like gonna make him
Speaker 1: feel better, I just won't. And honestly, I'm having maybe
Speaker 1: a glass of wine a week. So it's like and
Speaker 1: I'm half the time, I give up halfway through because
Speaker 1: it gives me hard earn. So it's like it's not
Speaker 1: I'm not partying, you know. And um, and then with
Speaker 1: the lifting of weights and stuff because we're moving in
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, we're moving places in l A.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be like, you know, packing us up
Speaker 1: and stuff, and he was like how heavy can She
Speaker 1: went like lift, and I just I'm like, I know
Speaker 1: my body, like I know what I can do, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do, you know, do anything that's wrong.
Speaker 1: And that's just like his anxiety and we're working through that.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I mean most of the time when
Speaker 1: my mom's friends and older women are like giving me
Speaker 1: advice and annoying women like just coming up to me
Speaker 1: and being like, don't get induced. And when they're born,
Speaker 1: you gotta leave them. You gotta leave the vacuum on
Speaker 1: so that they get used to loud noises. And people
Speaker 1: just like grow advice at you all the time and
Speaker 1: you're just like, well worked for you, like so many
Speaker 1: friends that have kids, Like I'll get advice from people
Speaker 1: that I like trust and no, I met you five
Speaker 1: minutes ago. I don't need your advice. And there's like
Speaker 1: just aisles of books and the Internet. I mean, the
Speaker 1: Internet can be overwhelming because like when I was so
Speaker 1: when I was at my first trimester, I actually felt
Speaker 1: pretty sick. Um, I never threw up, but I just
Speaker 1: did you have like you feel hungover for like six
Speaker 1: weeks and it sucks, Like and I was like scouring
Speaker 1: the internet for any article that would tell me it
Speaker 1: was okay to smoke a little bit of weed. I
Speaker 1: was just like, I just want an article from one
Speaker 1: reputable source that's like actually studies have found and there
Speaker 1: isn't one. You can find an article that supports anything
Speaker 1: you want on the internet, Like I'm sure I could
Speaker 1: find it an article that was like they study in
Speaker 1: Guadalajara says tequila once a day helps a baby get
Speaker 1: better at SAT scours, like you know, like it's really
Speaker 1: but I ended up not finding anything reputable, so I
Speaker 1: didn't do it. But I have got plenty of friends
Speaker 1: to tell me that they smoked a little weed during
Speaker 1: their pregnancy. You know, like everybody is just like it's
Speaker 1: such a fraud topic. Everybody is so sensitive about it,
Speaker 1: and like everybody comes to the table with a lot
Speaker 1: of people come to the table with a strong opinion
Speaker 1: about it, whether they've been through it or not. I
Speaker 1: was found it very interesting. Yeah, like I have friends
Speaker 1: that got off their antidepressants while they were pregnant and
Speaker 1: then just smoked weed instead. And like what like the argument,
Speaker 1: Like what's the argument there? Like is she better off
Speaker 1: because she's not on all these antidepressants? But like how
Speaker 1: is we affecting the baby? I mean we don't know.
Speaker 1: The kid is super smart and fine. Now I'm beautiful,
Speaker 1: Like so I think everything's fine, But I mean that's
Speaker 1: not a medical study. Like I don't know my mother.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't advise that my mother's biological mother drank. I
Speaker 1: believe pretty heavily when she's really my mom and smoked
Speaker 1: a lot of cigarettes, and my mom she has depressed.
Speaker 1: She has neurological issues, so that's not great, but she's
Speaker 1: not she's functioning at alt right. Yeah, are not to
Speaker 1: take antidepressants or is that especially? I think that you can.
Speaker 1: And I think maybe she was on a lot of them.
Speaker 1: I don't actually know, like the stories I think you can,
Speaker 1: Like I maybe they dose you down. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe there're certain ones you shouldn't take, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: but that was just like a choice my friend made. Interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you guys have sex? Yeah? Like currently? Yeah, And
Speaker 1: how is it? It's the same. It's fine. Vagina feels
Speaker 1: the same right now. It's not like swollen it like
Speaker 1: obviously there's nothing going through it. But like you know,
Speaker 1: you have into your uteristic I mean I can't see it,
Speaker 1: but I'm assuming everything's okay. But it doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: any different. It doesn't feel well, you know. And a
Speaker 1: lot of people say that pregnant women are horny or
Speaker 1: I haven't really felt more horny or anything, just like
Speaker 1: saying it's like the same amount of horny as regular,
Speaker 1: Like we have sex, and I've only recently gotten like
Speaker 1: a little only in the last month or two have
Speaker 1: I gotten bigger. So like, we'll see how it goes
Speaker 1: when like I'm massive and like, you know, we're trying
Speaker 1: to do it. But you know, so far, so good.
Speaker 1: It's been pretty good because I was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like that's nothing because I was like thinking, like
Speaker 1: what six And I was like, I was like, you
Speaker 1: don't really look that big. It's I think it's because
Speaker 1: I'm tall also you are, and I'm and I'm like
Speaker 1: a substantially sized person, like my skinny like little mini
Speaker 1: friends look massive, like they just have like, you know,
Speaker 1: this big gas bump in front of them, and I
Speaker 1: just kind of looked like maybe I went a little
Speaker 1: overboard of Christmas. Yeah yeah, um so yeah, okay. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna go backwards now to your
Speaker 1: other things that you were told me about. So you
Speaker 1: lost your virginity when you were late. It's so funny
Speaker 1: because so many people are like, oh, it was so late,
Speaker 1: and then they tell you that that how old they were,
Speaker 1: and we're like, oh, that's not really that late. I
Speaker 1: just like I didn't lose my virginity. I was twenty two,
Speaker 1: and it's just really surprising because I went to such
Speaker 1: a like hard party in college, like and I just
Speaker 1: was like bombed all the time, and I hooked up
Speaker 1: a lot, but I think I always just like had
Speaker 1: my mom's in my ear being like I don't have
Speaker 1: sex while I guess I thought by that I was
Speaker 1: like probably not going to get AIDS. But I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll never know. I was like, um, like, don't have
Speaker 1: sex until you're married, And I was like that's I
Speaker 1: knew that probably wasn't obviously viable, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I do not want to just like lose it on
Speaker 1: a one night or or something, which is likely honestly
Speaker 1: kind of how it ended up, but a little bit
Speaker 1: more special than that. And I was happy with how
Speaker 1: that went. It was fine, but um yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: surprising to me that like I lasted all through college
Speaker 1: and then on my twenty second birthday and wed or
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I like hooked up and did all the
Speaker 1: other stuff. Now, would you have orgasms with guys or
Speaker 1: would you just masturbate for that stuff? Because I feel
Speaker 1: like I it took me a very long time to
Speaker 1: have actually come with a guy. Uh, No, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't nothing like that wouldn't happen. I would just like
Speaker 1: full around with guys and be like this is fun,
Speaker 1: but like yeah, never so would they go down on
Speaker 1: you and stuff like you would just do all the
Speaker 1: other stuff except just like all the other stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so your first practice, first first sexual experience, twenty two,
Speaker 1: You're at your you graduated from college. Who is it with?
Speaker 1: So it was with this guy who um I studied
Speaker 1: abroad in Italy, like I studied abroad in Rome with
Speaker 1: My college is um like Rome campus, and I was
Speaker 1: so obsessed with it that I went my junior fall,
Speaker 1: and then I had all these friends who went my
Speaker 1: junior spring. So I went to visit that my junior
Speaker 1: spring cause I was like, I gotta go back. I
Speaker 1: love it so much there. So when I was visiting there,
Speaker 1: another friend had a guy visiting, like a friend. This
Speaker 1: guy was visiting his friends on the programs. We were
Speaker 1: both in town visiting in Rome. Had this like kind
Speaker 1: of whirlwind like fun hook up week or whatever, and
Speaker 1: then I didn't really and then saw each other again
Speaker 1: in college, made out, it hooked up again, I didn't
Speaker 1: have sex, and then on my birthday. So it was
Speaker 1: like the third time or something that I had hooked
Speaker 1: up with him, and I like lost me virgin in him,
Speaker 1: and I was like, it's just time to get this
Speaker 1: over and he felt comfortable with yeah. And then but
Speaker 1: then after that, it was like he lived in Boston.
Speaker 1: I lived in New York. It was like it was
Speaker 1: not from another part of it, right, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he was an American. Yeah, and he actually I told
Speaker 1: you this, like he he looked like John Cusack. And
Speaker 1: people have, like a lot of people have told me
Speaker 1: that I look like Joan Cusack. So I was like,
Speaker 1: did I suck my brother? I mean, like I lose
Speaker 1: my virginity to my brother. Do any of your brothers
Speaker 1: look like John? But I do think John and Joan
Speaker 1: look And then some people tell me I don't really
Speaker 1: look like Joan Cusack. People say that, let's just like
Speaker 1: I don't get a lot of good celebrity comparisons, but like,
Speaker 1: that's kind of one of the only ones I've got.
Speaker 1: She's cool. I like her that. I think that's a
Speaker 1: good plastic comedy lady of the eighties and nineties. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: so yeah, was it good with Boston guy? It was
Speaker 1: like okay. I was like, this is it? Like, was
Speaker 1: it his first time? Okay, that's that's interesting that you
Speaker 1: had hooked up then two times prior. And did you
Speaker 1: ever remember him like trying to have sex with you
Speaker 1: or I don't think so, Like I think he was like, okay,
Speaker 1: is very sexy when they're willing to wait and they're
Speaker 1: willing And then I told him, I was like, this
Speaker 1: is my first time and he was like, are you sure?
Speaker 1: Like he was it was very way pre me too, consent,
Speaker 1: like he was very much as enthusiastic consent for sure.
Speaker 1: And then after that, did you just keep having sex
Speaker 1: like like a crazy lady? Was it when you were
Speaker 1: you unleashed? Okay? So then after that, I was like
Speaker 1: living in New York, I was young, and like I was,
Speaker 1: I did. I just did have like a bunch of
Speaker 1: like one night stands with people, and I one time
Speaker 1: had to take Plan B with some random guy that
Speaker 1: I think, I want to say the condom brook, but
Speaker 1: I also want to say said he didn't have one,
Speaker 1: and I like, who cares? Like I think I was
Speaker 1: just like I was just like funked up in horny
Speaker 1: and was like, let's do it. But um, but besides that,
Speaker 1: I wasn't really that reckless, Like it was always like
Speaker 1: pretty much condoms and like, uh, I would hook up
Speaker 1: with people I knew, but all people I didn't. You know.
Speaker 1: I hooked up with a professional poker player one time.
Speaker 1: He like lured me back to his apartment because he
Speaker 1: said he had a puppy. Guys, I don't even a
Speaker 1: professional poker player lured you in by singing a p
Speaker 1: he had. He doesn't even relate I have a brand
Speaker 1: new He wasn't even yeah, it wasn't even his dog.
Speaker 1: It was he was watching a friend's dog and it
Speaker 1: was a brand new like one of those baby puppies,
Speaker 1: like a beanie baby size. Yes, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't even care for dogs that much. I like
Speaker 1: them fine, but I don't have one. I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: have one. I'm not a huge dog person. I think
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh, like I might hook up
Speaker 1: and there's a puppy, equal like this sounds like a
Speaker 1: good deal. Yeah, so like I definitely got to see
Speaker 1: the puppy about the it was the thing that we
Speaker 1: kind of ruined the whole thing because he was we
Speaker 1: were hooking up and the puppy was whining. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like freaking out. And so the guy was like,
Speaker 1: I'm really like distracted by the puppy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go the thing that I got to lure
Speaker 1: you in. It's also the thing that's you know what.
Speaker 1: But it's also it's weird that it's not his puppy,
Speaker 1: because he would leave a puppy that new with something
Speaker 1: with it was like his friend. Yeah, because I mean
Speaker 1: like when you first get a puppy, like a lot
Speaker 1: of times they have to stay with their mom for
Speaker 1: a while. Uh, and then you really can't leave it
Speaker 1: alone for more than like four hours, because I mean
Speaker 1: I just got done raising a puppy, really yeah, And
Speaker 1: like I mean it's like four hours, Matt, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: that may have been how long he was out at
Speaker 1: the bar, like picking up random girls. And then he
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta get back, do you want to come?
Speaker 1: I gotta get to this puppy. And it was this tiny,
Speaker 1: tiny little like it literally looked like a beanie baby.
Speaker 1: It was so little, like you're one. You can't funk
Speaker 1: if you have a puppy because or you have to
Speaker 1: figure out like something. We were in another room. We
Speaker 1: weren't like doing anything in front of the puppy, but like,
Speaker 1: well that's the puppy could sense that he was being ignored.
Speaker 1: Just cry outside the door. They knew. Yeah, the puppy
Speaker 1: knew you were in the home. I'm not paying attention
Speaker 1: to home man. So yeah, So I definitely like hooked
Speaker 1: up around New York a bunch, and being single and
Speaker 1: young in New York is a it's a treat. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I would hook up with sometimes with people I worked
Speaker 1: with and stuff too. Um because when you moved to
Speaker 1: you that you were already doing comedy or did that
Speaker 1: start when I moved to New York. I was in
Speaker 1: the NBC Page program at the beginning. I applied to that.
Speaker 1: That's a prestigious program. And the guys in that are
Speaker 1: gay pretty much well when I did it, and I
Speaker 1: love them. No, actually that's not true. Like a handful
Speaker 1: of the guys were like straight guys with like their
Speaker 1: girlfriends back home, and then there were like a bunch
Speaker 1: of gay guys that were like my best friends and
Speaker 1: so like I was, there was not a lot of
Speaker 1: hanky panky going on like in the program for me,
Speaker 1: and that is six hours. That's six days a week,
Speaker 1: like a lot of hours. Like so I wasn't really
Speaker 1: I didn't have like a ton of time. Outfits aren't
Speaker 1: like the hottest. Yeah. Oh they used to be from
Speaker 1: casual corner, the store casual corner. And I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: five ft nine and I like somehow got a petite
Speaker 1: dress because I just wanted mine to be a little
Speaker 1: bit shorter because the rest of them, the girls were
Speaker 1: them down their knees and I was like, funk that.
Speaker 1: So I wore my size but in petite, so it
Speaker 1: went like through four inches, nice and like like a
Speaker 1: blazer with like navy tights and like navy shoes from Palis.
Speaker 1: It was a garden look like part of Scientology, like
Speaker 1: in a ceremony and Scientology. They did a whole thing
Speaker 1: like a few years ago where Brooks brothers like won
Speaker 1: the contract to like dress the pages. So now they
Speaker 1: were like and they can wear pants now not an
Speaker 1: option When I did it, I feel like I'm like
Speaker 1: an old suffragette. In my day we had to wear skirts,
Speaker 1: but like now the girls can wear like gray slacks.
Speaker 1: What if they want. It's the cold day, like it's
Speaker 1: nice to be able to put on pants. I still
Speaker 1: kind of feel like the dress is more comfortable, but
Speaker 1: they have the option of the pants or the dress now.
Speaker 1: And um, they went gray for a little while, but
Speaker 1: now I think they're back to V. It's all things.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I did that at the very beginning, and
Speaker 1: then I worked in like television, like in production and
Speaker 1: kind of like development and stuff, and I didn't start
Speaker 1: stand up till oh eight, So I'm like about ten years.
Speaker 1: I'm a little over ten years in and I started
Speaker 1: doing improv. I'm one of those like oh four, I
Speaker 1: started taking UCB classes, like while I was in the
Speaker 1: Page program, and so I was I was doing that
Speaker 1: and people were like, you should do stand up And
Speaker 1: I was like, why would I want to repeat the
Speaker 1: same jokes over and over again when I can make
Speaker 1: magical improv happen and it's a long time only. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, this doesn't get you anywhere.
Speaker 1: I mean it does. There's a lot of very famous improvisors,
Speaker 1: but stand up. When I started doing stand up, I
Speaker 1: did them concurrently for a little bit and was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Like the returns on stand up are
Speaker 1: so quick, and like when you funk up, it's all
Speaker 1: on you. When you do well, it's all on you,
Speaker 1: whereas like you're on these teams and improv and it's
Speaker 1: my friends when I switched were like, we're really happy
Speaker 1: that you moved to stand up, like we were sick
Speaker 1: of coming to improv shows. But they were like we
Speaker 1: always thought. I thought you meant your friends who improvise
Speaker 1: with you, they're like my friends that I would like
Speaker 1: beg to come to my improv shows. Were like, we
Speaker 1: always like watching you, but like sometimes the improvity it's
Speaker 1: a really long time to get to the funny, whereas
Speaker 1: in stand up, if it's taking a long time, it's
Speaker 1: mostually not happening. That stand up is oftentimes at least
Speaker 1: kind of interesting to watch somebody like, well, improv makes
Speaker 1: you want to kill yourself, And sometimes with bad stand up,
Speaker 1: you're like, that's like a pretty good premise, like someone
Speaker 1: better could make that into something good. You know you
Speaker 1: You're kind of like, Okay, I see your point. I'm
Speaker 1: not laughing, but it would be an interesting like almost
Speaker 1: like a Ted talk like so like the way you
Speaker 1: see that thing exactly, Oh my god, I mean I
Speaker 1: don't I don't even know if I've ever enjoyed an
Speaker 1: improv show, I don't. I can't even think of and
Speaker 1: those like they were like there were the pros, but
Speaker 1: they're also like no rules and like when you start
Speaker 1: taking the classes, they say that the whole thing of
Speaker 1: it is don't think, but there's a lot of rules.
Speaker 1: And when you watch these face was people getting up
Speaker 1: during ASCAT and they're also throwing the rules out the
Speaker 1: window and just having fun. You're like, that's what you
Speaker 1: should be teaching people. There was something larger like the
Speaker 1: like the Stepfathers or like t J, which is the
Speaker 1: two person improv is. It's kind of a lot different structure.
Speaker 1: There was a couple of ones that we're okay. I
Speaker 1: used to intern at the UCB, so I got most
Speaker 1: of my classes for free, which is like another reason
Speaker 1: is that a fun fest at uc B? Because I
Speaker 1: heard like because here was the thing, like I'd already
Speaker 1: been like, I I grew up like an hour outside
Speaker 1: of New York, so I had a lot of college
Speaker 1: friends and some high school friends in the city, and
Speaker 1: I just I wasn't relying on the uc B as
Speaker 1: my like social life. So I think the people that
Speaker 1: were they had those big parties like Sweat. I would
Speaker 1: go to some of those and feel really out, like yeah,
Speaker 1: um um, oh my god, no, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Is that now it's a something just shut yeah yeah
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah, it's a McManus, Peter mcmannut's way to
Speaker 1: shut down. Yeah, that's it gets But that was like
Speaker 1: so I didn't really feel super accepted in that world,
Speaker 1: especially because it was like, you know, there was like
Speaker 1: the hierarchy of like who's on a Herald team. Later
Speaker 1: I was on a mod team, I was on one
Speaker 1: of the sketch teams. I was an actor on the
Speaker 1: like mod teams, and by then I felt that was
Speaker 1: I felt really like part of the USB community by then.
Speaker 1: But when I was like pre marriage, younger, single, I
Speaker 1: went to those parties and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: like weird. It's dark. I don't know everyone because the
Speaker 1: people that are on Harold teams and I don't know
Speaker 1: who like the important people are. I like the dynamics
Speaker 1: in the stand up comedy world in New York City
Speaker 1: a lot, because even if everyone is not happy for
Speaker 1: everybody's success, and it's at least like you know, you
Speaker 1: already feel alone. It's a little bit more every man
Speaker 1: for himself. So like you're you're you can have a
Speaker 1: good conversation with people. It's not like my group, it's
Speaker 1: I don't know, um that I did, didn't I had.
Speaker 1: I was in some fun like little improv teams, but
Speaker 1: I was never like this is my social life, you know? Um?
Speaker 1: But yeah I interned and like Stepfathers were so good
Speaker 1: Death by ru U. There was some like really really
Speaker 1: so there's some good improv out there. But I love
Speaker 1: I used have the biggest crush on because he was
Speaker 1: the funniest person I ever saw. I'm friends with him
Speaker 1: in l A. I have dinner with him and his
Speaker 1: wife sometimes. Yeah, like years and years and years he
Speaker 1: was married. He is married. His wife is a pretty
Speaker 1: funny stand up. Her name is Meredith Casey. She goes
Speaker 1: by married with Casey. Now that's awesome. So yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So did you date any other comedians before the comedian
Speaker 1: Jared you married? No? I okay, So when I started comedy,
Speaker 1: I did Bringers. Yeah. My first show was like, so
Speaker 1: I did Bringers for for a few months, and so
Speaker 1: another guy who was actually really cute and funny did
Speaker 1: Bringers with and he and I hooked up once. He
Speaker 1: does not do it anymore. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: I remember his last I do know his last name.
Speaker 1: He's like not worth mentioning. He doesn't do it anymore.
Speaker 1: Um actually he didn't really and he was funny, but
Speaker 1: he just stopped doing it. I think I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: bringers people that are doing it so much on the
Speaker 1: side as like a hobby a lot. I was doing
Speaker 1: it and the woman who ran the Bringers was like,
Speaker 1: you're good. You can come start doing some of my
Speaker 1: shows without bringing And that was when I was like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, bringers are a scam. Like it took me
Speaker 1: like six months to figure it out. Um. Like, people
Speaker 1: would book me for their shows and I'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: how many people do I have to bring? And maybe
Speaker 1: like zero? Like are you sure I've been getting duped?
Speaker 1: So um. And then when my husband and when Jared
Speaker 1: and I were hooking up, but he wasn't like calling me.
Speaker 1: I hooked up with another comedian to make him mad,
Speaker 1: but he wor do someone told him, yes, you're like
Speaker 1: just to s and yeah, and that's the only those
Speaker 1: are the only two other comics I've ever hooked up.
Speaker 1: But those were one night thing, so you knew that
Speaker 1: that was going to work to reel him into be
Speaker 1: like what are we well kind of I kind of
Speaker 1: also liked this other comedian, like I'd kind of been
Speaker 1: like attracted to this other comedian, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I was, You're like not calling me, and like, I
Speaker 1: guess we're not. I guess this isn't happening. Like we
Speaker 1: had a thing at the beginning where we made out
Speaker 1: at a party then hung out the next night in public,
Speaker 1: so that's like then didn't talk to him for two weeks.
Speaker 1: Then he didn't call me for two weeks that we
Speaker 1: we hung out a like Sean Donaldy's birthday party or something,
Speaker 1: hooked up again, and then like and then a third
Speaker 1: time it happened, and I go, Okay, see you in
Speaker 1: two weeks because it just been happening, and he was like,
Speaker 1: no, no no, let's go out to dinner or whatever. And
Speaker 1: when like after three hook ups we finally went on
Speaker 1: like a real date, did he say why or is
Speaker 1: he just like spacey Like I'm a space like he
Speaker 1: thought like he's a nerd, Like he's really into like
Speaker 1: role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons and Star trek
Speaker 1: and ship like that, and I'm not like that at all,
Speaker 1: and he just thought we would. He goes, I just
Speaker 1: don't know if we have enough in common. I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're both stand up comedians in New York City. That
Speaker 1: feels like a pretty good foundation. And he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just he thought he should be dating a nerd girl. See,
Speaker 1: but is it nice to take somebody with interest that
Speaker 1: you don't have to can learn about them? Because totally
Speaker 1: having the comedy in common is a very I feel
Speaker 1: like that is a great set up, and get your lifestyle.
Speaker 1: You're not going to do everything with your partner ever,
Speaker 1: like hes, yeah, he has these things where these guys
Speaker 1: come over and they play games for such hours and
Speaker 1: I go out and do something with my friends. Somebody
Speaker 1: showed me their dungeon and dragon set up once and
Speaker 1: I was like, this is gorgeous. This is an elaborate
Speaker 1: world of an imagination that you get lost in people
Speaker 1: all the time. I'm like, I would a thousand times
Speaker 1: over rather be married to a dork that plays dungeons
Speaker 1: and dragons than someone that's like, won't talk to you
Speaker 1: for four days because the Patriots like lost the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like the guys that are
Speaker 1: so fucking into sports, like that's considered my husband's like
Speaker 1: playing these games where they create these worlds and like
Speaker 1: go on adventures and use their brains and their imagination.
Speaker 1: I think that's like a lot cooler than like, look,
Speaker 1: I really sucked that guy hard or whatever. I know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I imagine women play Dungeons and Dragons. They like,
Speaker 1: he's got a girl in his group. That's awesome. But
Speaker 1: do women have anything that's like like a woman, you know,
Speaker 1: dungeon dragons I would associate more with men. Is definitely
Speaker 1: this primarity I don't think women have. Like like when
Speaker 1: I would like games where you get lost in your
Speaker 1: imagine as an adult, will know, we don't. I would say,
Speaker 1: like my equivalent to it is like when my girlfriends
Speaker 1: come over and we watch like Real Housewives in Beverly
Speaker 1: Hills and because that's like a full world, and like
Speaker 1: then there's like vander Pump Rules, there's like offshoot worlds,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, Like and that's my
Speaker 1: garbage escapist ship that I watch, but like, um, but
Speaker 1: it's like knitting circles and stuff. But I'm yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm in a book club like clubs. That's great because
Speaker 1: then you could be in your intellectually stimulation. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I think that's when I learned creating anything per se
Speaker 1: the way that they are for dungeons dragons. But yes,
Speaker 1: you are like having a that's not about but for
Speaker 1: what you know dungeon. Like there's like all you write
Speaker 1: a book for Dungeon, and you write an entire like
Speaker 1: a show bible. You write that my husband is the
Speaker 1: is the dungeon Master, so he is the real the
Speaker 1: shirt that takes them through. Really hot, you guys, have
Speaker 1: you ever hepped up with the dungeon Master. I haven't,
Speaker 1: but get into it. I would. I kind of think
Speaker 1: that's hot because that's a lot work. Honestly, at the beginning,
Speaker 1: I was like I don't what are you? I can't like.
Speaker 1: I just kind of was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. You do your little thing. And then
Speaker 1: like I played with him a couple of times, it
Speaker 1: was like, this is actually so fun. This is like
Speaker 1: choose your adventure. It's likely. Yeah, yeah, it's really fun.
Speaker 1: I mean there's some of them that are more like
Speaker 1: dragon e and like more like fantasy he did. This
Speaker 1: was like dude, dragon. But he did one with me
Speaker 1: once that was kind of just like you're in a city.
Speaker 1: I was in a city that was like, um, a
Speaker 1: futuristic New York city and we had to go into
Speaker 1: like the subway old subways and find this like mystery
Speaker 1: thing that was happening. So for me, it was more
Speaker 1: like a mystery and I was like, what are we finding?
Speaker 1: And so he made that game up because he knew
Speaker 1: I would be more into it than like and then
Speaker 1: you'll slay the sorcerer or whatever, like that's not like
Speaker 1: curating that, like you're curating the land. And then you're
Speaker 1: making up your own rules goals, or you'll make up
Speaker 1: your own rules. Like you create a character. Your character
Speaker 1: has all these abilities, Okay, you have to like roll
Speaker 1: the dice basically tell you what you're allowed to door
Speaker 1: or a dice or something the dice tell you like
Speaker 1: so basically my husband Jared will be like, I'm okay,
Speaker 1: you get to this door. There's a sign on the door.
Speaker 1: It's in this language. Let's say your character has come
Speaker 1: up with has a language attribute in there in the
Speaker 1: character sheet that you made up. He's like, if you
Speaker 1: get a ten or above you can read the sign,
Speaker 1: so you roll, you get a twelve. Great, you can
Speaker 1: read the sign. You get a seven. You can't read
Speaker 1: the sign. What do you want to do now? So
Speaker 1: that's like an example of like a that's an example
Speaker 1: of a move. And I'm like, make the most elementary
Speaker 1: knowledge of this ship too. Dungeons and Masters kinky kinky,
Speaker 1: not one that has to do with sex and dragons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: woman's world. I'm kind of into it. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: want to play this now. Yeah. A lot of people
Speaker 1: I tell them about it and they're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: want to play. Like yeah, he plays with like a
Speaker 1: few groups in l A. Wow, he might be starting
Speaker 1: a podcast doing it too. Oh my gosh, that I mean,
Speaker 1: and that would have a really really built in following
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of I think there are
Speaker 1: some Dungeons Dragons podcasts that exist, but they're not like
Speaker 1: with funny people. They're like with like hardcore nerds that
Speaker 1: are almost like better get on. Now that we're talking
Speaker 1: about social I know, I'm like, sorry, Jared, I'm telling
Speaker 1: your idea. He's like, I don't know when this is
Speaker 1: coming out. Well, this is Jared Logan's idea. So you guys.
Speaker 1: You guys get copyrighted here. Yeah you guys, can't you
Speaker 1: heard it here? For us, it's coming. So also, this
Speaker 1: is going to make him have to get started on
Speaker 1: it fast. He's like doing a pitch at a network
Speaker 1: on Tuesday. There you go, tomorrow, there you go. It's
Speaker 1: pretty much almost done guys. Um, so yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: about it for us. Uh, what where can people see you?
Speaker 1: Anything else you want to say? I would love to
Speaker 1: promote briefly. My debut stand up album is available for
Speaker 1: pre order right now on iTunes. It's called Undefeated. Um,
Speaker 1: it's my first album I'm really proud of. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Definitely listen, thank you album funny. You can d l
Speaker 1: it or buy it or whatever. Um. It should be
Speaker 1: available later in February, I think. But it's available for
Speaker 1: pre order now and that kind of helps me make
Speaker 1: a splash on the iTunes charts. So please pre order.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, I'm on instant on Twitter and all
Speaker 1: that ship is caroklink k R A k l e
Speaker 1: n K and I perform mostly in l A now
Speaker 1: that I'm going to be I can't really I'm in
Speaker 1: New York right now, but I'm on my travel days
Speaker 1: vets in Los Angeles. Yeah, so come out to l
Speaker 1: A O in l A. I have a show. You
Speaker 1: guys should do it when you come to town Thursdays.
Speaker 1: It's the old Josh and Josh show that shows doesn't
Speaker 1: exist anymore. Now. It's called Better Half Comedy. It's me
Speaker 1: and my husband Jared run the show and it's at
Speaker 1: bar Lu Bitch in West Hollywood. It's free every Thursday.
Speaker 1: It's great. We get good crowds and um great comics.
Speaker 1: So come to that perfect Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: sitting down with us. Thank you for having me. You're adorable.
Speaker 1: So jo here. This has been guys. We fuck the
Speaker 1: anti SLAC I mean podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday.
Speaker 1: Changing say the same. I was finded you were signed
Speaker 1: and air couldn't hear me sing I try you. I
Speaker 1: was such a fool and I I chrst you. What
Speaker 1: was that to? Why don't trying? I'm take wan ever
Speaker 1: gave me raised to say