Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night, the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello, fuckers, how you doing.
Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the
Speaker 1: anti slot shaming podcast. I'm Karren, I'm Christina, and uh,
Speaker 1: let's go out of the news. Today's news article is
Speaker 1: oh man, this is a good one. Sorry, I forgot
Speaker 1: that I was doing this first. This is is Bethany
Speaker 1: Frankel shares and s f W and that's not safe
Speaker 1: for work if you're not up with the cool kids
Speaker 1: lingo theory about Pete Davidson's penis. I said it amid
Speaker 1: Beck and sale romance rummors. So there's probably more info
Speaker 1: in this now, um, because this is a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks late. But we just it's hilarious. And it's also
Speaker 1: a story from Fox News, because you know Fox News
Speaker 1: always covering those hard, at hitting uh topics. So Bethany Frankel,
Speaker 1: if you guys don't know who she is, she's a
Speaker 1: real housewife. Um, oh my god, I actually do love
Speaker 1: her product. Yeah, because there's way too much sugar and cocktails,
Speaker 1: but you still you want the fun of a cosmopolitan
Speaker 1: Bethany Freckle has. You know, it's like, there are some
Speaker 1: parts of basic bitch culture that I do like to appropriate,
Speaker 1: you know what. Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but yeah,
Speaker 1: and then maybe there's the thing is it's just variations
Speaker 1: of the basic of a basic bitch anyway, because it's like,
Speaker 1: if you're a goth girl, you're just a basic bitch
Speaker 1: goth girl right now, you actually look at it. The
Speaker 1: people who are doing I feel everyone does the same thing.
Speaker 1: No one's that unique, That's true, Okay. Bethany Frankel has
Speaker 1: a naze for work. Thoughts about Pete Davidson now that
Speaker 1: it seems he's romantically connected to actress Kate Beckinsale f
Speaker 1: y Kates forty five Fuck Yeah. Kate Beckinsale has previously reported.
Speaker 1: Davidson and Beckinsale UH first sparked dating rumors after they
Speaker 1: reported they left a Golden Globes party together after acting
Speaker 1: flirty all evening. They were spotted again over the weekend.
Speaker 1: So I'll be like two weekends ago, while leaving a
Speaker 1: comedy club in Los Angeles, Oh Sexy, prompting many to
Speaker 1: believe the duo in the midst of a rebound fling
Speaker 1: after Davidson's highly public split from Ariana Grande. Her songs
Speaker 1: have gotten worse. If that makes you feel better, Pete Utter.
Speaker 1: The two were engaged for months before they broke things off.
Speaker 1: The Real Housewives star took to Twitter on Super Bowl
Speaker 1: Sunday to share his her raunchy theory about why Davidson
Speaker 1: is able to attract such lovely and talented women. So,
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson was engaged to the sexy and talented Ariana
Speaker 1: Grande and is now dating the beyond stunning Kate beckinsale.
Speaker 1: She's really trying to feed into that older woman saying
Speaker 1: we got we see you is beyond we see you,
Speaker 1: and we like it. So I guess it's clear that
Speaker 1: he shoots diamonds out of his penis and she needs
Speaker 1: a writer. Um Franco Prepared or Sorry peppered in some
Speaker 1: compliments about the SNL star in a follow up tweet
Speaker 1: after a fan asked how these women keep falling for him,
Speaker 1: before double down on her penis theory. He is probably
Speaker 1: nice and funny and sensitive, which women like cute and sweet,
Speaker 1: she wrote, and the diamond d doesn't hurt. I reckon.
Speaker 1: I mean a diamond d diamond dick, diamond dick, she wrote,
Speaker 1: d though, because she's a she's a lady. She's like,
Speaker 1: I get drunk COmON boats. I don't say that's old
Speaker 1: money and earned money. Oddly enough, this isn't the first
Speaker 1: time that Davidson's endowment downstairs has been the subject of
Speaker 1: public conversation. While they were dating, Grande made a comment
Speaker 1: about his penis, which he jokingly brought up during a
Speaker 1: stand up show in New York. I don't like that
Speaker 1: she talked about all talked to all this that ship
Speaker 1: for my penis. Everything is huge to her. Why should
Speaker 1: she tell everyone penis so that every girl who sees
Speaker 1: my dick for the rest of my life is disappointed.
Speaker 1: And that's why hot Pete is such a good stand up.
Speaker 1: That's why you can't stop fucking comedians. Um. I know
Speaker 1: they come at you with these witty retorts and you're like,
Speaker 1: fucking I hate that. I like that you haven't showered
Speaker 1: in weeks and you forgot my birthday. But god damn
Speaker 1: was that funny. I'll take it, okay, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was wondering, like I'm not really. I don't usually
Speaker 1: give a shit about celebrity gossip, even when it involves
Speaker 1: beyond because I'm like, whatever, just let her fucking live
Speaker 1: her life. I'm right, I'm not interested in like trying
Speaker 1: to understand certain things about her personal life because we'll
Speaker 1: never fucking know, and she's Jesus and get over. But
Speaker 1: we can keep trying and stay up and find out
Speaker 1: is Avril Levine dead? Is that the real Avril Levine?
Speaker 1: And there's industries founded on that very theory. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I was I was thinking about about because you know,
Speaker 1: I would do shows that like The Stand with Pete
Speaker 1: would be on. He was like nineteen and stuff before
Speaker 1: and now, um, and he was everybody in the comedy.
Speaker 1: We always regarded him as like a really fucking talented motherfucker.
Speaker 1: He's so young. It's like he had heat forever. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and well earned heat. Um, and now he's packing the
Speaker 1: heat in between his legs and his giant dong. But
Speaker 1: but I'm like, man, that's got a he's got a date.
Speaker 1: Whoever he dates after that, that's gotta be. I liked
Speaker 1: him Cassie David and then after that, I was just
Speaker 1: like you're going you're spiraling now, yeah, because like you
Speaker 1: know that that felt right? Yeah, but I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the fund do? I know? I make bad choices. If
Speaker 1: you google enough, you can figure yourself out. I yeah, pizza, pizza,
Speaker 1: very nice and very funny. Not my type, but you
Speaker 1: know what, what I always thought it was really cute.
Speaker 1: I remember I was gonna but yeah, whatever, have fun.
Speaker 1: Whatever you're doing well, and you know, yeah, do whatever
Speaker 1: you want. Come see us a live please, Indianapolis. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be at Helium Comedy Club Thursday, April eighteenth, the
Speaker 1: Saturday A. Yes, that's for twenty Yes, I will smoke
Speaker 1: weed anyway. I'll smoke weed all the time. So it's
Speaker 1: gonna be great. Go to Sorry about last Night Comedy,
Speaker 1: Sorry about Last Night Comedy dot com slash tours for
Speaker 1: all other info. Tomorrow. If you're in New York City,
Speaker 1: Glamour Plus is happening my birthday show. It's probably gonna
Speaker 1: be sold out. To be honest, um, not trying to brag.
Speaker 1: That's just how the that's just what happens when we
Speaker 1: do Glibor Plus. So seven thirty pm. We will have
Speaker 1: some door tickets available starting at seven PM for twenty
Speaker 1: bucks cash. Um, but those go fast, so beat twenty
Speaker 1: one and up and have twenty dollars and you could
Speaker 1: probably come. It will be fun. And uh, if you're
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles February, that's a Monday. Uh, As I've
Speaker 1: been saying four weeks and again, we're just recording a
Speaker 1: bunch of interes in one day. That's why I don't
Speaker 1: have information. I will be performing somewhere, uh in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: I think there'sn't be multiple shows. I'm not sure, but again,
Speaker 1: this is an important one. I would love you guys
Speaker 1: to come out. Uh. And I haven't performed in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles in a while, since like last spring. I guess, uh,
Speaker 1: so please hold that night and head to my social
Speaker 1: media at Philanthropy Gal to figure that out. For other
Speaker 1: social media, it's a sorry about last night or s
Speaker 1: r y about last n y T on Twitter, and
Speaker 1: Christina is at Christina much and it's important to follow
Speaker 1: all those because if you're ever like oh, if you're
Speaker 1: like not up to date with episodes, or if you
Speaker 1: miss a week, or if we are out something kind
Speaker 1: of last minute, that's all happening on social media because
Speaker 1: we can't always record the podcast is you know, close
Speaker 1: to the release state as we want to. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because sometimes we gotta fly. And then also to Less
Speaker 1: Lonely Girls as always out on Monday's co hosted by
Speaker 1: me and rosebud Baker. We're going more conspiracy theory now,
Speaker 1: guys old Hollywood. Uh, you know, dead people haunting you,
Speaker 1: things that you might not know about, illuminating ghosts. That's
Speaker 1: the kind of things I'm interested in. So that's what
Speaker 1: we're gonna do. Ya Um. Personal ship one thing I
Speaker 1: wanted to say. I'm saying it a little later than
Speaker 1: I wanted to, but that's okay because I feel like
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter when the message goes out because it's
Speaker 1: already been happening. You know. I talked to a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks, maybe a month or two ago, I don't know,
Speaker 1: about the sex club incident with this with Steven, and
Speaker 1: I was angry and it did feel good to actually
Speaker 1: be honest about the anger and and just work through
Speaker 1: the guilt of talking badly about a person that that
Speaker 1: was a huge part of my life. And just talking
Speaker 1: bad about people just doesn't make me feel good, and
Speaker 1: I have an anxiety around it. But this thing has
Speaker 1: been happening where listeners and look, I know, we decided
Speaker 1: to make this all public, so that's that's our that's
Speaker 1: our bed to lion or someth whatever the phrases. But
Speaker 1: I think there's still some confusion and people don't understand
Speaker 1: that we're humans. Yeah, they understand. They don't understand that
Speaker 1: we're humans. Uh So they're treating us like a little
Speaker 1: large scale celebrities in in sometimes the good way, in
Speaker 1: sometimes the bad ways. In that they don't I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're still running our own instagrams, like we see Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they'll they'll message this happened a while. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's still happening now by the time this
Speaker 1: episode gets released. I hope it's not. But some listeners
Speaker 1: will message Steve and tweet at him whatever, and then
Speaker 1: send me screenshots of these messages, and you guys, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see that. I do not want to
Speaker 1: see that. Ship. I blocked him on all my social
Speaker 1: media just because it's painful to see and and because
Speaker 1: I because he was a big part of my life.
Speaker 1: He was like my fifth limb, you know, and that's
Speaker 1: not an easy thing to just drop. But I know
Speaker 1: for me. Uh, it's what I personally need to do.
Speaker 1: And I know that you might not mean any malice
Speaker 1: out of it, but like, stay out of it. Can
Speaker 1: you imagine being a person whose life got put in
Speaker 1: public and then you're hearing back from a breakup that
Speaker 1: you're you're you're if you're still experiencing pain from your
Speaker 1: just hearing these listen to these strangers who you don't
Speaker 1: know and don't know you message you about something. I said,
Speaker 1: it's just just and I I know I have no
Speaker 1: control of other people's actions, but please don't do that.
Speaker 1: You're not helping anything. In fact, you're making it worse. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I'm able to compartmentalize that and realize, you know what,
Speaker 1: that's part of the course of doing this, But he
Speaker 1: didn't ask for that, and uh, just don't send me
Speaker 1: screenshots of conversations you have with him. Just don't just
Speaker 1: do There's so many other things you could do with
Speaker 1: your time. You can volunteered an animal shelter, you could
Speaker 1: be a big brother or big sister. You could take
Speaker 1: a walk to your local park and maybe clean up
Speaker 1: some trash. But in the trash, can you know there's
Speaker 1: just a lot of things you could do. You can
Speaker 1: watch um, Friends from College on Netflix. It's a great show. Um.
Speaker 1: If you're flying on a Delta plane or United plane,
Speaker 1: you can watch Far from the Tree. That's a great
Speaker 1: documentary that I just discovered. Do something else with your
Speaker 1: time because you're not helping you. I think I think
Speaker 1: it's the meddling is always interesting and I uh, I
Speaker 1: just wish I knew where it came from. It just
Speaker 1: feeling important that you're making a difference, you're making a
Speaker 1: worst thing. I think it's I think it's because they
Speaker 1: you know, they feel like they're friends with you in
Speaker 1: real life, and that's and that's awesome interesting able to
Speaker 1: do that. Um. But I also and I think sometimes
Speaker 1: you know, because we've talked so many times about like
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, we kind of like don't want
Speaker 1: to know like in how in real life, like if
Speaker 1: something is bad happening, like we probably don't want to
Speaker 1: know about it, uh, because you have to you have
Speaker 1: to think, like is this something that is going to
Speaker 1: put you in immediate danger? Like it's you know, Stephen,
Speaker 1: need to know information? And nine of time, it's it's need,
Speaker 1: it's not need to know information. Uh. And and so
Speaker 1: it's just a little bit change because like even you
Speaker 1: as like my friend in real life, I have not
Speaker 1: I've seen things or whatever. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I know this will not be helpful. And because because
Speaker 1: people do this thing, my friends in real life did
Speaker 1: the thing, the same thing to me. They're like, oh
Speaker 1: yeah this person said this, I'm like now see like
Speaker 1: now I'm angry at that person. And I didn't need
Speaker 1: to be. I didn't need to be because I just
Speaker 1: never would have known. And I could go through life,
Speaker 1: you know, walking the on the taking the high road,
Speaker 1: because you don't need to adjust your actions. All it's
Speaker 1: gonna do is put a wrench in the in the
Speaker 1: in the gears. Yeah, well even a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago after an episode actually actually after the Justin Silver episode,
Speaker 1: and I think I had a cold on that episode,
Speaker 1: so my voice was extra extra. But even so, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. This is my voice, and this is if
Speaker 1: you don't like it. I mean, while you're five years
Speaker 1: too late on this. People getting people literally getting online
Speaker 1: voice of fights about my voice. People either I get
Speaker 1: a lot of d m s being like, oh your
Speaker 1: voice makes me horny, and then a lot of people
Speaker 1: are like your voice is like nails down a chalkboard.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, yeah, much like my personality,
Speaker 1: you either love it or hate it. So even my
Speaker 1: voice is following suit like whatever, we don't need to.
Speaker 1: And someone wrote it a comment on the sorry about
Speaker 1: last Night Instagram and it was just it was just
Speaker 1: unnecessarily rude. Um. And so I think I was in
Speaker 1: a mood where I was just clapping back at everyone
Speaker 1: because sometimes, you know, if I'm like waiting for a
Speaker 1: sleen misorder and I can't start a new project, that's
Speaker 1: my project. So welcome to hell, everyone, and it's a
Speaker 1: writing exercise. The people started getting on her, of course,
Speaker 1: which is which is sweet, but I don't need, you know,
Speaker 1: you don't you don't need to, you know, push someone
Speaker 1: to the brink of suicide because they said about my
Speaker 1: voice hanging up on people. Doesn't there's a fine line
Speaker 1: or whatever. But anyway, and she just you know, kind
Speaker 1: of was egging on and I was like, wow, like
Speaker 1: you have deep issues. So I just screenshot at it
Speaker 1: all and and blinked out everyone's names except for her,
Speaker 1: because she was like so adamant that she she could
Speaker 1: take the heat. And I knew very well she couldn't.
Speaker 1: I'm not easy, and I put it in my Instagram
Speaker 1: story kind of just because I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: like this person is strong enough to hand add this
Speaker 1: lesson and sometimes you need to make an example out
Speaker 1: of everyone, and then we can put the kabash on this. Yes,
Speaker 1: a lot of celebrities do I I support, and so
Speaker 1: I did it. And then I and I kind of
Speaker 1: followed it up with like a little bit of like
Speaker 1: a number on an article from Psychology Today about why
Speaker 1: why are women so mean to each other? And I
Speaker 1: and a good book recommendation UM from a sucker about
Speaker 1: like the female psychology of being mean to other women
Speaker 1: and how to get past it kind of like from
Speaker 1: a very like high level educational stance. And so for
Speaker 1: these things like and then and by the end of
Speaker 1: the day, let me tell you, she had gotten hit
Speaker 1: with so much that she finally realized what it must
Speaker 1: like to be someone in the public eye. Um. And
Speaker 1: because I truly think and that's the problem. We're so
Speaker 1: insensitive to to celebrities. And I've always felt this way
Speaker 1: long before I was in the public eye. But that's
Speaker 1: just because I feel like I feel really attached to
Speaker 1: celebrity and the notion of it, and I'm extremely interested
Speaker 1: in in in it. So I've done a lot of
Speaker 1: reading about both what it means to be a celebrity
Speaker 1: and about you know, books by celebrities, just because I'm
Speaker 1: fascinated by what it means, um and uh. And so
Speaker 1: she she really was. She was like she posted, She's like, honestly,
Speaker 1: like I did learn a lot and sometimes like shame
Speaker 1: does have its place, because I was like, sorry to
Speaker 1: make you the Paris Hilton, like you know, when everyone's
Speaker 1: getting d u e s and then only Paris Hilltlon
Speaker 1: got sent to jail. And she was like, well, and
Speaker 1: the judgment, I'm not, I'm making an example of you
Speaker 1: because like the ship has to stop and that's when
Speaker 1: people are dying. So that's why I that's why I
Speaker 1: did that. And I wanted to be very careful about
Speaker 1: who I did that too, because I certainly don't want
Speaker 1: to do it to someone who's like so tender that
Speaker 1: it's going to cause them to like break down. And
Speaker 1: thankfully my intuition led me to the right person. But
Speaker 1: it's just because I can't, I just I really really,
Speaker 1: you know, She mentioned publicly but added me like an
Speaker 1: Instagram story because because I just really knew. I was
Speaker 1: like people think they know what it's like, or they
Speaker 1: or they have this kind of attitude, the attitude people
Speaker 1: have towards people in the public eye, like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you put yourself in the situation. That's the same thing
Speaker 1: as in like an everyday life saying well, like saying
Speaker 1: to a cashier at CVS, um if you knock a
Speaker 1: whole display case down and then leave it and then
Speaker 1: they have to pick it up, saying, well, that's your
Speaker 1: fucking job, that's what It's the same thing or two
Speaker 1: and so, yes, technically that it's part of their job,
Speaker 1: and technically being in the public eye is part of
Speaker 1: our job. But everyone is still a human and you
Speaker 1: never need to make someone else's human experience worse than
Speaker 1: it has to be. There's enough garbage in this world. Like,
Speaker 1: it's so disgusting, it's so disgusting to do that, and
Speaker 1: you must feel disgusting, and you must like it. And
Speaker 1: I get what it's like to do something disgusting and
Speaker 1: and get get it's sick, but you kind of get
Speaker 1: off on it a little bit. I get it. I
Speaker 1: get it. I've stopped myself, though, you are capable of
Speaker 1: stopping yourself. And it's like, yeah, don't get don't get
Speaker 1: bummed down over the negative. It has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with that. Don't be a dick. I feel like human
Speaker 1: beings are capable of not being dicks. Yeah, absolutely, And
Speaker 1: it's by a little hard and let give us all
Speaker 1: some hope in the world. And uh. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because sometimes I'll like need a picture or something of myself,
Speaker 1: and I know it's like easier to find like by
Speaker 1: googling a specific article or whatever, so I google myself.
Speaker 1: And also it's good to google yourself every now and
Speaker 1: again because sometimes you find ship They're like, why is
Speaker 1: that there? And I need to get that taken down? Um,
Speaker 1: justin justin just in general, like sometimes like too much information,
Speaker 1: you know, is out about like your personal you know info. Um.
Speaker 1: And so I had to google myself for some reason
Speaker 1: the other day and the reddit threads and unfortunately come
Speaker 1: up in the Google search pretty high a lot of times.
Speaker 1: And so I did click on one because I was
Speaker 1: like it was about I don't know, it might have
Speaker 1: been about the breakup episode, and I was just kind
Speaker 1: of curious I had never Yes, I had never read um.
Speaker 1: Uh any I haven't read read it about us a
Speaker 1: long time because James was usually the one who would
Speaker 1: tell me about it because he don't read it, because
Speaker 1: you told me a couple of things, yeah and uh.
Speaker 1: And so I was reading a couple of things and
Speaker 1: some people were commenting on how you know. A couple
Speaker 1: of years into the podcast, we started complaining a lot,
Speaker 1: and it felt like we were scolding listeners for their behavior.
Speaker 1: And like, I know, I certainly have done that many times,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't deserves when people act like dicks. Disappointing.
Speaker 1: But in addition, is number one, if you didn't if
Speaker 1: you did not exhibit aforementioned behavior, the skull doesn't pertain
Speaker 1: to you. You just fall upon deaf years. It's bothering you. Obviously,
Speaker 1: you are guilty and you're feeling guilty, and you're using
Speaker 1: that and you're saying, well, they scolded me as a
Speaker 1: defense um. And secondly, I think it's also interesting to
Speaker 1: talk about because for us, like we are, you know,
Speaker 1: experiencing being in the public eye as full blown adults
Speaker 1: UM in real time. And yes, there are all these
Speaker 1: parts where, yes, you know, it's so cool what happened
Speaker 1: with the podcast, and it couldn't have happened without you guys,
Speaker 1: And we have money to eat now and all of
Speaker 1: that is fabulous and sometimes and I'm really trying to
Speaker 1: be more cognizant of it lately, like of being grateful
Speaker 1: of the wonderful aspects and the privilege and how cool
Speaker 1: this is. We also did put a lot of work,
Speaker 1: and I know people go fall at that, but like
Speaker 1: we really, Oh my god, we worked. That's great. I
Speaker 1: think it's interesting to talk to talk about and maybe
Speaker 1: even as a time capsule, I would recommend this to
Speaker 1: like future people because becoming going from a complete unknown
Speaker 1: person to someone who literally millions of people have listened
Speaker 1: to these very personal things and your first kind of
Speaker 1: dalliance with a low level celebrity is having people know
Speaker 1: the real you as opposed to a character you play
Speaker 1: or a song you sang. The words are our own,
Speaker 1: not a script, is a really unique experience. Um, And
Speaker 1: I think you're hearing firsthand. Obviously you see the ups
Speaker 1: of it because you see our face on a magazine
Speaker 1: where you you see the numbers we're getting, where you
Speaker 1: saw us get a book deal. But I also think
Speaker 1: it's important to talk about all the negative aspects. Number one,
Speaker 1: because celebrity is so seemingly aspirational in American culture. I
Speaker 1: am that was definitely someone who was, like God, all
Speaker 1: I wanted to do was be famous, And now that
Speaker 1: I'm even like a tiny bit famous, I realized what
Speaker 1: a what an empty wish that was, and if anything,
Speaker 1: it has greatly negatively impacted my mental health. And there
Speaker 1: was really the like, the the things I've the rewards
Speaker 1: I have got and gotten out of this experience, Uh,
Speaker 1: none of them have to do with what I thought
Speaker 1: they would have to do. Like I do not like
Speaker 1: it's cool to be liked and and appreciated and stuff,
Speaker 1: but like it doesn't give me anything. And I think
Speaker 1: that's because I do love myself so deeply. So it's
Speaker 1: like I'm not getting anything out of this. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I and I don't. And I the only I really
Speaker 1: don't like attention, Um the only time I like. I mean,
Speaker 1: I certainly like, if you're at my show, you better
Speaker 1: fucking shut up. But like so I like attention, you know,
Speaker 1: in that manner, and I like people to you know,
Speaker 1: like read you know, a passage from the book and
Speaker 1: be like Oh, I really liked that. I thought that
Speaker 1: was interesting and insightful. But beyond that, I don't don't
Speaker 1: really have like you being like yeah you're you're so hot,
Speaker 1: or like yeah you're like I want to be like
Speaker 1: those are nice things, but like they just don't mean
Speaker 1: anything to me, and that's fine, you can you can
Speaker 1: say it. But so it's like what am I what?
Speaker 1: What did? Why did I want this all along? And
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of a very confusing thing that I'm
Speaker 1: still figuring out. And for me, like the upsides of
Speaker 1: it are is definitely being able to highlight other people
Speaker 1: in the comedy business that I really love, uh who
Speaker 1: have not gotten the attention that they deserve, so highlighting
Speaker 1: them has been really cool. Um being able to do
Speaker 1: charitable things and then being able to buy things or
Speaker 1: experiences for people that I like, to just kind of
Speaker 1: treat people in my life to things who have helped me,
Speaker 1: especially for so long when I was so broke. So
Speaker 1: those are the things that I enjoy about it. But
Speaker 1: then at the end of the day, I'm like, the
Speaker 1: actual thing. I love being able to do what I like.
Speaker 1: But then sometimes you're on you're under an extra strong
Speaker 1: microsope scope doing what you're like, because I'm like, you
Speaker 1: don't even be famous to do stand up comedy, especially
Speaker 1: in New York City. Like, yes, I certainly get booked
Speaker 1: on more shows, but even with that, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: are you booking me because I'm fun or because you
Speaker 1: think I can fill five extra chairs? Um? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't see. I don't know. I can't figure out ahead.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I mean that's that's kind of just it.
Speaker 1: But it's just, you know, I think it's nice, especially
Speaker 1: because so many people are dying to be famous, and like,
Speaker 1: just ask yourself, why do you have a particularly unique
Speaker 1: message that you think you wanna, you know, put out there?
Speaker 1: Because I think the more the more I'm realizing, like
Speaker 1: why kind of this happened? Because I do believe in fate.
Speaker 1: So it's like, yes, there's hard work, but there's also fate.
Speaker 1: And so I truly think it's like, Okay, I went
Speaker 1: through a pretty traumaous childhood. So but I think that uh,
Speaker 1: my like kind of like thing that I need to
Speaker 1: deal with is then sharing like self confidence with other people. Um,
Speaker 1: And that in and of itself has become traumatizing because
Speaker 1: it's it has taken a lot from like me emotionally.
Speaker 1: So because I have given that away, I am less
Speaker 1: capable of taking care of myself in some ways, which
Speaker 1: is why I you know, thought professional help. Um, so
Speaker 1: I think that's why. So it makes sense because there
Speaker 1: is some kind of an evan to flow to the universe.
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, you don't do that, and
Speaker 1: I know it's it's weird to be like it is
Speaker 1: suffering to give away self confidence, but again, like it's
Speaker 1: just a it's a really hard unique experience to describe.
Speaker 1: And again because we're doing something so weird, like podcasting
Speaker 1: such a new medium, you just didn't really know. We're
Speaker 1: kind of walked into this thing that was a real
Speaker 1: social experiment. So there are so many things in my
Speaker 1: life that literally only Christina Hutchinson understand because we're we
Speaker 1: are the only two people experience. We're going through this
Speaker 1: very very unique experience. You remember the first time I
Speaker 1: actually thought about this moment the other day because I
Speaker 1: don't know, I actually want to ask my therapist this
Speaker 1: when I see here tomorrow, if it's maybe it's not
Speaker 1: sucked up. I have no idea. I'm not judging it,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, I love every aspect. I love when
Speaker 1: people come up to me on the street in a
Speaker 1: store when they're because they're the people that listen, that
Speaker 1: come that I have all my experiences with anybody who's
Speaker 1: like approachress in public, they're the kindest. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know them, but like just like good people. Like really,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so proud of us for like garnering
Speaker 1: this great chunk of humanity, Like I really, I like.
Speaker 1: I like it a lot. And I like that energy
Speaker 1: from people as well because I'm an extrovert, but I
Speaker 1: love like when I went back on social media after
Speaker 1: that retreat, I was like, oh my god, thank god.
Speaker 1: I feel like I can communicate now, like with people
Speaker 1: I don't know and ially have thought I've never had
Speaker 1: and I and I was so excited. I read all
Speaker 1: my messages, but the negative ones, I'm like, you're just
Speaker 1: dealing with something on you, Like they actually really don't
Speaker 1: upset me anymore, which is nice. Um oh yeah that
Speaker 1: I mean, I it is so it is so easy
Speaker 1: now to be like, oh, this is your thing, not
Speaker 1: my thing, right, yeah, exactly, you're projecting and now I
Speaker 1: could see that and stuff. But I like I like
Speaker 1: those aspects that I thought the other day. You remember,
Speaker 1: we had this meeting because you know, when you when
Speaker 1: you're in this in this industry and when a podcast
Speaker 1: gets hot, this is just like just this is how
Speaker 1: the industry works. People want to do a TV show
Speaker 1: with you, right, and we were obviously it hasn't worked out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right now, it hasn't, but we've we've got we've
Speaker 1: made we've probably created between like you and I, like
Speaker 1: fucking twenty concepts that were fucking excellent, and we've progressed
Speaker 1: every time it gets close to that's positive. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: like that guy on On I'm gonna take too long
Speaker 1: to figure it out. I'm just gonna stop there. But um,
Speaker 1: we had a meeting with a producer or this woman
Speaker 1: and then it was a really great meeting. It was
Speaker 1: one of the earlier on ones. Were maybe a eight
Speaker 1: months into doing the podcast a year and we're at
Speaker 1: this bar in Grammarcy. It was a hotel. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: were upstairs in this the balcony area that went to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and then on the steps somebody goes, oh
Speaker 1: my god, are you Corrit and Christina, And that was
Speaker 1: the first time that ever happened to us and I crossed.
Speaker 1: I came home and cried. Yeah, we went to the
Speaker 1: bathroom and celebrated. It was really cool. It was it
Speaker 1: was really now. I'll never forget that moment because I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is something that I never thought, you know, I
Speaker 1: had a career trajectory in my mind. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to get on SNL. SNL is a thing,
Speaker 1: but this is not. It's not a buck, but it's
Speaker 1: it's a different lane that I didn't even know was
Speaker 1: being known for being your self and actually helping people
Speaker 1: and being funny. Those are those are boxes that I
Speaker 1: did not think that I would be checking now. I
Speaker 1: didn't think I wasn't capable of it. I didn't even
Speaker 1: I didn't even imagine that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So it's just like, I don't know, I like it.
Speaker 1: I like it a lot. I like, I really like
Speaker 1: every aspect of it. I don't know if that's the
Speaker 1: healthy You get irritated sometimes with like sometimes yeah, well
Speaker 1: when people are context Stephen, it's like you guys, don't
Speaker 1: be asshole. But what was interesting in that moment because
Speaker 1: I remember that moment, you know, vividly, like it was yesterday. Um,
Speaker 1: but for me, I found not a section that moment too.
Speaker 1: For me, the satisfaction of that moment came as like
Speaker 1: this is a real life, real time marker of me,
Speaker 1: of like me just reminding me that I achieved what
Speaker 1: I knew I always could achieve. Yes, that's what I
Speaker 1: and I agree. So but then so then for me,
Speaker 1: so it's like we marked that and then kind of
Speaker 1: it never has to happen again because for me it's
Speaker 1: like we've already marked that, and then moving forward to me,
Speaker 1: it would just be feeding my ego, which my ego
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be fed anymore. It's just I like it.
Speaker 1: It just mine just doesn't need to be and it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Connecting with people takes my head bigger, like it's so
Speaker 1: so funny some friend again, and and it's a similar
Speaker 1: pattern of people telling me ship that I don't need
Speaker 1: to know someone. A good friend of mine commented to
Speaker 1: me like, oh yeah, a lot of people have been like,
Speaker 1: oh wow, Karen's a lot more nice that she now
Speaker 1: that she's successful. And I was just like, I don't
Speaker 1: need I don't need to hear that because it's like
Speaker 1: God that that I'm just like Oh, who do I
Speaker 1: have to not talk to who didn't like me before
Speaker 1: you were the same person. Well, I am nicer though, Um,
Speaker 1: they're absolutely right. I'm nicer in business settings because I'm
Speaker 1: now i am. Before I was just being me and
Speaker 1: reacting to shitty people with county attitude, um, which they
Speaker 1: deserved and still deserve. But these days I am nicer
Speaker 1: to people even when they are treating me rudely or annoyingly,
Speaker 1: because I'm now hyper sensitive to the fact that because
Speaker 1: people for some reason care about us, now that it's
Speaker 1: going to that it's going to get out, and that
Speaker 1: they're going to take it. They're going to take it
Speaker 1: as like, oh, she's a bit because she is successful,
Speaker 1: when in reality I was always a bit but you
Speaker 1: didn't notice, you remember you remember that part. So now
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, I'm like extra polite. Uh And
Speaker 1: because of that, because I don't want people to think
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, you know, she just you know, became
Speaker 1: a bit, and like yeah, I mean I was always
Speaker 1: that way. Yeah yeah, So but I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: just interesting because it's just a constant process of like
Speaker 1: thinking like okay, well you know, what what are what
Speaker 1: are the benefits. What am I getting out of this?
Speaker 1: And is this something that I do I want to
Speaker 1: continue my life like this? And I don't I just
Speaker 1: I really don't know. I couldn't give you an answer
Speaker 1: now because it's something it's very disheartening to like work
Speaker 1: towards something that you know for a long time, achieve
Speaker 1: it and then be like this isn't this doesn't click
Speaker 1: the way I thought it was interesting. So I don't,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know, uh, but yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: and just in general, like I'm just so I love
Speaker 1: talking about the entertainment industry. And I know some people
Speaker 1: are like, this is boring, this is about sex. Well
Speaker 1: it's like, but I love this industry so so much,
Speaker 1: the bad parts and the good parts and every stupp
Speaker 1: of the way it teaches me something more because the
Speaker 1: deeper you get, the more that is yield. And like
Speaker 1: so for instantly, when I turned from Michael Moore, that
Speaker 1: reminded that kind of told me that I do like
Speaker 1: the industry, but I have to be in an area
Speaker 1: of the industry where I can also do a good
Speaker 1: amount of charitable work, because the charitable work undoes the
Speaker 1: grossness of the industry. For me, and then it brings
Speaker 1: it the balance for you. It brings it back to
Speaker 1: you know, because the libra scales. It brings it back
Speaker 1: to a healthy balance for me where I feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this isn't you know, bad And then just like you know,
Speaker 1: taking long, you know, chunks of the day where I'm
Speaker 1: not on social media, making sure I'm doing things other
Speaker 1: than entertainment based things, not always hanging out with comedians.
Speaker 1: Uh so yeah, that's that, um. And what part of
Speaker 1: the I just want to get into the oh, the voting. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this is actually this is based off of something
Speaker 1: I learned on a date, so several weeks ago, um,
Speaker 1: before PM, if you're following us, a professional musician. Um,
Speaker 1: I was on a not before I met PM, but
Speaker 1: just like before, I was realized that we were more
Speaker 1: than friend. Um and you know that could be over
Speaker 1: right now, I hope. Uh So I went on a
Speaker 1: date with a guy, I mean on a hinge and
Speaker 1: again like so I was the reason I was on ray,
Speaker 1: I was because I wanted someone with like a who
Speaker 1: had really just achieved something. And then I realized it's
Speaker 1: just all people who like paint in a warehouse in
Speaker 1: Brooklyn and have you know, stuff all over their smock
Speaker 1: like they're fucking Jackson Pollock. But really they only have
Speaker 1: like the mentality of jack Jackson Pollock, which is mentally ill.
Speaker 1: Um and then none of the money or success of
Speaker 1: Jackson Pollock. So that I learned pretty quickly. Um. And
Speaker 1: again I can't I really can't reiterate enough how important
Speaker 1: is to you know, wear shoes with socks on your
Speaker 1: profile if you're a man. As Jillie Hendrix put it,
Speaker 1: Ryan is great if you want to fuck Diplos tour photographer.
Speaker 1: Love it. I love her, love it, Jillie Hendrix. Everyone. Um.
Speaker 1: And so this guy, uh again forty eight my sweets
Speaker 1: literally everyone, it's something. It's very weird. Um. He kind
Speaker 1: of started like one chapter of ted X conferences and
Speaker 1: actually was familiar with our podcast, which was cool, and
Speaker 1: so he haven't heard from but whatever. I really I
Speaker 1: thought he was really nice. But again, I'm like that,
Speaker 1: you're not my soulmate. As soon as I met him,
Speaker 1: was like, you're not my soul mate. Really handsome, look
Speaker 1: kind of like Jeremy Runner. Honestly, yeah, like an older
Speaker 1: like Jeremy Jeremy Runner. Like he's hot, really sweet, really nice.
Speaker 1: But again I could tell. I was like, you're I'm
Speaker 1: gonna you're the kind of person I would end up
Speaker 1: walking all over like he's like almost like kind gentle
Speaker 1: person to be brushing your hair. Gosh, I mean a
Speaker 1: girl can dream. Um. So we went to this uh
Speaker 1: you know Generator Collective, which is a lot of Glazers
Speaker 1: like talk social political awareness, uh saying she started a
Speaker 1: little while back, and it's just to kind of remind
Speaker 1: people with larger social media platforms, or anyone with a
Speaker 1: social media platform, um, because we all have them now
Speaker 1: that you know, you can post selfies and you can
Speaker 1: post pictures of the food you ate, but you know,
Speaker 1: for every four times you post that, maybe one time
Speaker 1: post something about how you can make an active difference
Speaker 1: in the world. That's kind of the purpose of it,
Speaker 1: and that's how she explained it. So he was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: do you want to go to this Alama Glazer thing
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, absolutely, And then I was
Speaker 1: like funk. I was like, we have a very similar families,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I hope no one sees me
Speaker 1: on this first date. And then it turned out someone
Speaker 1: did see me, but it was a comedian pet I
Speaker 1: get I don't check my phone during dates because I
Speaker 1: wanted to be present. So after the date, I was
Speaker 1: in a cab going to a show and I looked
Speaker 1: at my Instagram and Pete had seen me walking in
Speaker 1: and filmed me. And I was like, Pete, this is
Speaker 1: so cute because like, if I get married to this guy,
Speaker 1: like and I'm not, but like I married to this guy,
Speaker 1: like I have footage of our first ever date. It
Speaker 1: was also good because I had my phone in my
Speaker 1: back pocket and I was like, idiot, like, you're not
Speaker 1: an open mic, like you gotta show off the goods?
Speaker 1: Why did you do that? And I also needed to
Speaker 1: take a flat eye into the back part of my hair,
Speaker 1: but again, notes it's good. I was glad that that
Speaker 1: I had that footage. Someone also informed me that I
Speaker 1: should get banged, so that was nice to hear from
Speaker 1: some feedback because I guess my forehead was too big
Speaker 1: for the frame. Um, that's what she was saying. I
Speaker 1: was wearing a headband, so it did. It was it
Speaker 1: was extra pronounced. But what I got high and cut
Speaker 1: my own bangs last night. And so the series that
Speaker 1: we went to you, they were talking specifically about the
Speaker 1: position of public Advocate, which I didn't even know was
Speaker 1: a position in New York City. I think they have them.
Speaker 1: I guess they have them everywhere. It's a it's a
Speaker 1: position you can get voted into. Yes, yeah, you have to,
Speaker 1: you have to run for public advocate. And people don't
Speaker 1: even know that it exists, that the election exists, or
Speaker 1: what it's about. And that's a problem because a lot
Speaker 1: of times it's like the same you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of thousand, ten thousand people voting for these elections, and
Speaker 1: why things never change because it's like only these old
Speaker 1: registered Democrats and Republicans that even know that these elections
Speaker 1: are happening. I didn't even know that this was happening.
Speaker 1: I've lived in New York City for fifteen years and
Speaker 1: have voted in every major election since I was eighteen.
Speaker 1: So just ensure they have They have a couple of
Speaker 1: things that they do. But the public advocate is most
Speaker 1: fundamentally a watchdog. So it's kind of in that you
Speaker 1: know American setup of checks and balances. It's the person
Speaker 1: who calls other people in the government out when they
Speaker 1: are not doing what they should, when they're they are
Speaker 1: not making good on the promises that they promised, and
Speaker 1: that includes things like the m t A like apparently
Speaker 1: the m t A had uh and the Mayor of
Speaker 1: New York had said that he was gonna introduced something
Speaker 1: with the m t A with like pro rated or
Speaker 1: like look or like you know, things for lower income people,
Speaker 1: measure cards for lower income people at a discounted rate.
Speaker 1: And he said that was like you supposed to be
Speaker 1: happened like January one, It didn't happen. It didn't happen.
Speaker 1: So you have to call these people out. And that's
Speaker 1: how things get done and how you know real estate
Speaker 1: moguls and and because it really it also told taught
Speaker 1: me how much real estate like owns cities and how
Speaker 1: corrupt it is and how real estate people are getting
Speaker 1: so much discounts on things. And then you know people
Speaker 1: are still you know, making you know, twelve dollars an
Speaker 1: hour and barely able to feed their kids in New
Speaker 1: York City. So again that's what the public advocate does.
Speaker 1: And they she had like four people on or three
Speaker 1: people and maybe who are running for public advocates, So
Speaker 1: it was number was number one because a lot of
Speaker 1: public advocate was awesome I learned when the election was
Speaker 1: and it's and I'm talking about it today because it's
Speaker 1: February twenty six. So if you live in New York City,
Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure to go out and vote,
Speaker 1: and you can do in February, and you could do
Speaker 1: a quick Google search to learn about the candidates. There
Speaker 1: were three there. Out of the three there, I really
Speaker 1: loved John Small's she worked for the Obama campaign. Uh
Speaker 1: kind of like you know, uh, she's uh, I don't
Speaker 1: want to see old because he's not very old, but
Speaker 1: like you know, above twenties, uh, black woman, and I
Speaker 1: just really she was confident. She was to the point
Speaker 1: she was no bullshit. She wasn't she wasn't running on
Speaker 1: you know, a personality trait. She she knew her ship.
Speaker 1: She's a lawyer, she's has a track record of success.
Speaker 1: She was really uh well versed in exactly what the
Speaker 1: position was and what she would do with it and
Speaker 1: why she was up to the up for the up
Speaker 1: for the role. I really really liked her. Um so yeah,
Speaker 1: just reminder vote, I'm going to vote. And it was
Speaker 1: so it was just so cool that, you know, it
Speaker 1: was a positive experience date even though I didn't like
Speaker 1: fall in love. It's always nice to go out and
Speaker 1: mean another human being be like, yeah, I really like you,
Speaker 1: and I know we're here because we're trying to find,
Speaker 1: you know, a person to you know, spend the rest
Speaker 1: of our lives with, or a chunk of time with.
Speaker 1: And I, well, I don't think that's you. It's nice
Speaker 1: to meet another person who are like, oh, you're not
Speaker 1: a piece of ship. And this is under different circumstances,
Speaker 1: like we could just like be you know, bross if
Speaker 1: we needed. I don't think a lot of adults need
Speaker 1: like a brow. But it was fun sometimes do you
Speaker 1: never know? And also just a great idea for a date,
Speaker 1: like I learned what like I learned on it because
Speaker 1: I don't know. People are like, oh, it's such a
Speaker 1: waste of time to go on dates, and like I
Speaker 1: think sometimes it is. Yeah, but that's a good drinking,
Speaker 1: you're eating, Like it's just boring stuff, waste of money.
Speaker 1: But this was so wonderful because we shared a cool
Speaker 1: experience together. We weren't able to talk that much, which
Speaker 1: was weird, and I had to run after which I
Speaker 1: had warned him about um. But yeah, we learned something
Speaker 1: together and we experienced something new together, and I would
Speaker 1: have never gone to that place or seen that talk
Speaker 1: had it had it not been for him. So great
Speaker 1: ideas that guy, So like, thanks, it was a really
Speaker 1: good experience. I enjoyed it and I learned a lot,
Speaker 1: and I feel like my life is better for having
Speaker 1: gone on that date, even though that's not going to
Speaker 1: be my person. Yeah, that's also something nice when two
Speaker 1: people come both through. I don't know how he's feeling,
Speaker 1: but if two people can both recognize that this was
Speaker 1: really fun. You're not the person, but like, hey, I
Speaker 1: ha fun. Yeah, that's just so nice speaking a nice
Speaker 1: our guest. Sorry. Um, he's a longtime friend of ours.
Speaker 1: I love this guy. He's a he's a beat Master.
Speaker 1: He made a video for us back in the day,
Speaker 1: one of the early storry about us, like classics, you
Speaker 1: don't live here. I want to call him beat Master
Speaker 1: from now on because he also loves eggs, so it
Speaker 1: works two ways. Oh my god, double entendra Uh. He's
Speaker 1: a stand up comedian. Beat Master hosted The Breakdown with
Speaker 1: Boris Hike in Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Boris Higen
Speaker 1: cut the chintz at the party you're just kidding started.
Speaker 1: I don't do it like that. Don't you ask? Keep
Speaker 1: on telling me last ever wanted? Anybody makes you come?
Speaker 1: I learnt to know it is honest. You post in
Speaker 1: my vace, but you know f the paint, I can
Speaker 1: see what Marion you left me, so I don't even
Speaker 1: know your normal you love? We can meet in my
Speaker 1: cut the party you're just kidding started. I don't do
Speaker 1: it like then. No more you met me harllest head
Speaker 1: to start. You don't really know me? Here with our
Speaker 1: pal Forest ikend. Yeah, Forest, you're fun? Is this so funny? You? Okay?
Speaker 1: When sorry about last night? Was first founded? One of
Speaker 1: the first events, our first outing it found it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: our first outing was this Halloween party that you were at,
Speaker 1: and I remember that's when I met you. Oh I
Speaker 1: forgot about you needed a sketch class before well, we
Speaker 1: met at Kevin Allison sketch class. I remember we had
Speaker 1: to go round and say a fun fact about ourselves,
Speaker 1: and boards is fun fact was I don't wash vegetables
Speaker 1: because if that's what's going to kill me, what's the
Speaker 1: point of living or something? Wow, that sounds like me,
Speaker 1: But ten years ago I send that today and it
Speaker 1: would have blown my mind. I'm like, whoa, I love
Speaker 1: that you remember that very specific that possibly was my
Speaker 1: first impression of you. But I was like, but I
Speaker 1: was like, what a unique way of thinking you have that.
Speaker 1: I really like, that's a very funny third world immune system.
Speaker 1: You know you do? Yeah, I wait, explain ate, Well,
Speaker 1: I was warning Ukraine. You know, that's where I got
Speaker 1: my first exposure to, like anything I was exposed to.
Speaker 1: So CIN like, I have no idea, I'm an ignorant American.
Speaker 1: Well it's changed a lot, so I couldn't even tell
Speaker 1: you that confidently what it's like today. I was there
Speaker 1: until and then I visited fourteen years ago. Where I'm
Speaker 1: from is really nice. It's like a cultural It's Odessa.
Speaker 1: It's a big like port town. It's on the water
Speaker 1: of the Black Sea. Also a restaurant downtown, also restaurant.
Speaker 1: Also a city in Texas. Whoa, yeah, yeah, but it was,
Speaker 1: you know, it was like a third world I'm kind
Speaker 1: of using that colloquially. I don't know if it would
Speaker 1: actually be like we had plumbing, you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: not play this up too much, but it was still
Speaker 1: you know, there's a bunch of stuff that was messed
Speaker 1: up about it. Actually, one vivid memory I have as
Speaker 1: a child is there was like always a fire for
Speaker 1: some reason that was like permanently in front of the
Speaker 1: like complex. It was all like like government like all
Speaker 1: the housing looks like what projects here look like it's
Speaker 1: all government housing unless you were like an oligarch or whatever. WHOA,
Speaker 1: that's a jump. So there's no middle class, not really,
Speaker 1: I mean there's there's still gradiation the way that there
Speaker 1: is here, but similar there's people that are really tied
Speaker 1: into the government and the hook ups and stuff, and
Speaker 1: then there's everybody else. Um. But there was a fire
Speaker 1: remember as a little kid, like constantly in front of
Speaker 1: where we lived and hit Yeah, Like I remember falling
Speaker 1: into it with my hand because it was not lit,
Speaker 1: but it was like embers and I just i for
Speaker 1: some reason, I don't think I'm like traumatized by it,
Speaker 1: but I have a very I must have been like
Speaker 1: four or five, but I have a super vivid memory
Speaker 1: of just running my grandma as a doctor, and I
Speaker 1: just remember running and like just blown my hands and
Speaker 1: trying and running to my grandma. I have no scars,
Speaker 1: you know, Well she's a healer. She's a healer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you fell in fires. I fell in a fire.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a bunch of other random, you know,
Speaker 1: crazy stuff about it. But yeah, third world is an exaggeration.
Speaker 1: There's there's plumbing, there's like medicine. It gets a lot
Speaker 1: more third world than Ukraine nuts for sure. But there's
Speaker 1: also like villages. You know, I was in a city.
Speaker 1: If you go further in the outskirts, it's called an oblusk,
Speaker 1: which is like areas that they have there, and then
Speaker 1: there'd be like villages where like it is closer that
Speaker 1: you're in the middle of nowhere. It's like where you know,
Speaker 1: people start during the famines and stuff. So what if
Speaker 1: you had to classify like Ukrainians as like in terms
Speaker 1: of family life or is it strict? Is it a
Speaker 1: religious culture? Are they how do they feel about sex?
Speaker 1: I mean in your perspective obviously, Yeah, Well, as a
Speaker 1: six year old there, I wasn't fucking much but that.
Speaker 1: But no, generally speaking, it's not religious for the most
Speaker 1: part because religion was illegal there. It was a communist
Speaker 1: regime when I lived there, so you could not religion
Speaker 1: was illegal, but it was communists. I don't know, how
Speaker 1: do you feel about I don't know what Communism was
Speaker 1: the religion. That's kind of how it works. So for
Speaker 1: the most part, under communism, atheism was a big part
Speaker 1: of that movement. Kind of the downsides, there's a lot,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of downsides. So I personally an atheist,
Speaker 1: but I talked about I think some people do need God.
Speaker 1: I think it helps certain people, and I think that
Speaker 1: there's people like Kirk Cameron, but it does help other people.
Speaker 1: It helps other people. I mean, listen, I spent my
Speaker 1: like probably since when I came here, I got kicked
Speaker 1: out of Hebrew School. Like I came here as a
Speaker 1: Jewish refers because like religious or not, our paperwork said
Speaker 1: jew like you were not. A Russia paperwork said yeah,
Speaker 1: your paperwork in Russia says Jewish or whatever it is
Speaker 1: in Russian. The Russian word for kaikas hid if you're curious,
Speaker 1: which makes sense because Judaism is uh An ethnicity as well,
Speaker 1: and like that's why, like, even tho I'm not religious,
Speaker 1: I still identify as Jewish because it is ethnicity, and
Speaker 1: because you have no choice if someone's trying to wipe
Speaker 1: it out, to look at your face and they don't
Speaker 1: care how you feel about good. I'm also Italians, you know,
Speaker 1: so thank you all right? Well Italian also like either way,
Speaker 1: like over there, you know, you worshiped the state I
Speaker 1: had photos of And this was also changing very rapidly
Speaker 1: as we were leaving. But I went to kindergarten. In
Speaker 1: preschool there we had photos of Lenin. You called them
Speaker 1: grandpau Lenin. That's weird, Grandpa, dude. Lenin. Wasn't that sexual?
Speaker 1: It's what that's a little sexual? Grand we call them?
Speaker 1: Oh god, um, But I even I remember my dad
Speaker 1: at his work. He worked at the TV studio in Odessa,
Speaker 1: obviously all government owned. They had photos of Lenin and
Speaker 1: I com, yeah, well, the thing is so no free publicly.
Speaker 1: Well it's kind of like when you're speaking publicly, everyone's
Speaker 1: kind of it's a culture of ratting in each other
Speaker 1: and so nobody speaks honestly until they're at home. And
Speaker 1: my parents were like talking about Lennon at home, and
Speaker 1: then I like repeated it at my dad's work. I
Speaker 1: was like, what are you putting up a photo of
Speaker 1: that I school for And they like took me aside,
Speaker 1: and thankfully they were friends with my dad and they
Speaker 1: were like you to get your son out of here,
Speaker 1: and they got me out of there. But as far
Speaker 1: as religion in general, most could not speak negatively about Lennen,
Speaker 1: So it was it was changing. At the time, it
Speaker 1: was Gorbachev who was president, and they were actually starting
Speaker 1: to remove public images of Lenin, but it was still
Speaker 1: like it all depended on who you were talking to,
Speaker 1: So it was a transition. It was not a smooth transition.
Speaker 1: And like, uh, there were some like Russian Orthodox churches
Speaker 1: that had deals with the government, where like if you
Speaker 1: were pro government, people could still practice even okay, oh okay,
Speaker 1: because that's the only way religion wasn't illegal then if
Speaker 1: they Yeah, it was just exactly and it was like
Speaker 1: a lot of it was more cultural than laws. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of like like I said, everyone was
Speaker 1: writing on each other. It was a lot of like
Speaker 1: public enforcement of that kind of stuff. Um. Also for Jews,
Speaker 1: like the reason why we came here as Jews refugees,
Speaker 1: they had limits to like only three percent of of
Speaker 1: like a university can be Jews like things like that
Speaker 1: in Ukraine. They had that in all of the Communist Russia,
Speaker 1: but in Ukraine, I certainly more familiar with it as
Speaker 1: far as the Jews. The captive had a cap on Jews.
Speaker 1: So you're all, so, how who was that? The was
Speaker 1: that the reasoning? Uh, some of the language echoed certain
Speaker 1: things because I mean, I mean, it doesn't make that
Speaker 1: actually doesn't make sense. That's so the Jews are like,
Speaker 1: you know, not to give myself in too much heat here,
Speaker 1: but they're involved in a lot of different sides of
Speaker 1: a lot of different things. The Bolshevik Revolution was also
Speaker 1: a lot of Jews because the Czars in Russia were
Speaker 1: also pretty anti Semitic, so they lead the revolution. They
Speaker 1: thought it would like improve stuff, and then it turned out, oh,
Speaker 1: the new people are also kind of anti Semitic. Everybody
Speaker 1: hate how many? So what which members of your family
Speaker 1: came over as refugees at this time, like when you
Speaker 1: came over to America. So it was a process like
Speaker 1: it was literally like chain migration. So what happened was
Speaker 1: the Berlin Wall fell in eighty nine, and that's when
Speaker 1: everybody was like, I'm gonna give the funk out of here,
Speaker 1: because now you could it was it was easier as
Speaker 1: soon as you try to leave your considered a trader.
Speaker 1: So the way that the process works is um or
Speaker 1: the way that it worked for us is you had
Speaker 1: to declare that you were leaving. And the way you
Speaker 1: do that is you quit your job and you get
Speaker 1: formal paperwork saying because everyone works for the government, so
Speaker 1: if you quit your job, you're no longer basically a
Speaker 1: member of the states. So you quit your job and
Speaker 1: during that time you submit your paperwork, and during that
Speaker 1: time you obviously have no way of earning a living,
Speaker 1: so you have to like play in ahead for that
Speaker 1: type of thing. So for starters, most you had a
Speaker 1: huge underground economy, so like everyone did. The expression there
Speaker 1: was like the government pretended to pay you and you
Speaker 1: would pretend to work because like everyone would get jack shipped.
Speaker 1: But then on the side, everyone anyone who was people
Speaker 1: still had hustle, you know what I mean, Like my
Speaker 1: dad would go, well, my dad actually a funny story.
Speaker 1: The way this is they kind of romanticize it, but
Speaker 1: supposedly the way my dad met my mom. My dad
Speaker 1: used to so he worked at a TV studio in Russia,
Speaker 1: but he would also uh fix VCRs and television because
Speaker 1: if you had a VCR TV there, you weren't just
Speaker 1: getting a new one. When it broke, you you got
Speaker 1: it fixed. And so he, my dad, I know, went
Speaker 1: to like different people's houses and fixed their TVs and VCRs.
Speaker 1: He had a friend who he told me, would have
Speaker 1: like porn and bring it from house to house and
Speaker 1: they would play. They had movies too, but like he
Speaker 1: was trying to be funny, probably, but it was a
Speaker 1: real thing. But they would go because not people to see. Well,
Speaker 1: so a few people had access to TVs, VCRs and
Speaker 1: certainly worn, but they would like go to people's houses
Speaker 1: and play movies or whatever the funk they wanted, whoever
Speaker 1: had the money to pay for it. And supposedly he
Speaker 1: met my mom by fixing a VCR or something like
Speaker 1: a relative of hers place. Yeah, even though I think
Speaker 1: they kind of like set it up or something and
Speaker 1: now I repair. Yeah, Um, so they they were able
Speaker 1: to save up because my dad would have this job
Speaker 1: on the side. And I know my mom told me
Speaker 1: that even when he did quit his job, he was
Speaker 1: still friends with the people there and they let him
Speaker 1: continue to work somehow and like keep earning a living
Speaker 1: because you apply your trader at that point. And here's
Speaker 1: the funny thing I remember, is so they had to
Speaker 1: submit paperwork through like the government office wherever, and they
Speaker 1: lost their paperwork and they bribed them that they actually
Speaker 1: I just asked them and they bribed them with It
Speaker 1: was thirty rubles, which is the equivalent of probably about
Speaker 1: seven hundred bucks, which is a lot of money. So
Speaker 1: it took They sold their car there. They had like
Speaker 1: an old and not a lot of people have cars either.
Speaker 1: My dad was like super proud of having this car.
Speaker 1: Um and like a bottle of something to the paperwork.
Speaker 1: Literally ten minutes later they were like, oh, we found
Speaker 1: oies and it's and it's very like, what are you
Speaker 1: gonna do into that corruption? You can't do anything? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's so funny. How No, there's no shame
Speaker 1: like here, there's this feeling of like you get caught
Speaker 1: in something. Some people some people, some people don't have it,
Speaker 1: but we call them like sociopaths, you know when when
Speaker 1: you don't have that look behind your eyes like you
Speaker 1: just got caught with something. Yeah, there's some people or
Speaker 1: like you know, good salesman or something. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but over there it's it's phenomenal. How normal. We went
Speaker 1: back to visit. I talked about this sometimes in my
Speaker 1: stand up, but it's a real thing. We went back
Speaker 1: to visit and where this is after the fall of communism,
Speaker 1: but it's you know, the culture is still there. Like
Speaker 1: I still won't do business with most Russians in America,
Speaker 1: like I'm weary of it's it's just embedded in the culture.
Speaker 1: So we went back corruption the insurance scams they pulled
Speaker 1: on business with this really exactly you can be racist
Speaker 1: against your own people. I'm not Israeli though, but there
Speaker 1: you go. But like, I guess I can do some
Speaker 1: business with Israeli on behalf. I don't care. It's okay.
Speaker 1: They can be they can be harsh. They have to
Speaker 1: serve in the army. Um. So when we went back
Speaker 1: and visited, not to digress, but they literally they take
Speaker 1: our first piece of luggage, they like make a mess,
Speaker 1: like clearly intentionally just throw everything out everywhere. And then
Speaker 1: they look at my dad and they're like, will we
Speaker 1: be inspecting the rest of your luggage? And that's a
Speaker 1: weird question right away for me if I grew up.
Speaker 1: My dad doesn't skip a beat, takes out twenty bucks,
Speaker 1: hands it to them, they say thank you, Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Ukraine. And my dad bride security with And this
Speaker 1: is years ago. Twenty bucks is already like not a
Speaker 1: lot of money for two years ago. But that's like
Speaker 1: what it costs to bring literally whatever you want into
Speaker 1: the Ukraine ship. Well I kind of wish Briving worked
Speaker 1: a little bit more in America. Yeah, damn, Well, you
Speaker 1: just need a lot more than I paid a I
Speaker 1: once twenty bucks giving in a high Florida hotel and
Speaker 1: he didn't but he kept the money. Um, damn. So
Speaker 1: what would you remember rushing? I remembering over what was that? Well,
Speaker 1: so to finish that part we got delayed. Um, what
Speaker 1: happened was Lutenburg changed the law. There was something that
Speaker 1: happened where uh you need They changed it, so you
Speaker 1: needed like different type of paperwork, different type of familiar ties.
Speaker 1: I just remember my parents cursing Lautenberg at the time
Speaker 1: because he changed the law in America. So we basic,
Speaker 1: Oh this is what it was. We were. The way
Speaker 1: people did it is you couldn't really go directly to
Speaker 1: America a lot most of the time the government wouldn't
Speaker 1: allow you. You applied for Visrainian government of American Soviet government,
Speaker 1: and so you would go to Israel, or you apply
Speaker 1: for a visa in Israel, you would fly to Vienna
Speaker 1: or like a couple other places and then you would
Speaker 1: change your route to America. You there was not really
Speaker 1: like to do it, and so well they changed the
Speaker 1: law where you had to fly directly, and so we
Speaker 1: couldn't go for whatever reason. And um, my mom became
Speaker 1: pregnant with my younger brother. She wanted to stay and
Speaker 1: have him there because like her mom's a doctor there
Speaker 1: and she just a lot of changes at once are
Speaker 1: difficult on the system with that kind of thing. And
Speaker 1: during the time that we stayed, they figured out a
Speaker 1: way where like my grandfather's has another family and they
Speaker 1: had kids in America and they sponsored for us to
Speaker 1: come and and that whole deal and we were able
Speaker 1: to come here. Finally, Wow, how old were you when
Speaker 1: you got here? I uh turned seven like right after
Speaker 1: we came here, and I have viven. So we came
Speaker 1: as Jewish refugees. So we had like these organizations that
Speaker 1: helped us find our first like Project Housing. They gave
Speaker 1: me like hand me down, closed in exchange, we're kind
Speaker 1: and opening and caring. Yeah, they had demands. Let me
Speaker 1: start with the two main ones. So in exchange, they
Speaker 1: really wanted us my parents to help us try Judaism
Speaker 1: because we weren't allowed to practice it there. My parents
Speaker 1: aren't religious, but they were like, oh, let's give him
Speaker 1: an option. So I went to Hebrew School for like
Speaker 1: three weeks and right away apparently it was like not
Speaker 1: my brain was already not built for it. So it
Speaker 1: was like a jew It was kind of like a
Speaker 1: birthright type organization that helped you. So there's one really
Speaker 1: famous one and I know that's not the one we
Speaker 1: used called highest that helps um immigrants come over. Well,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't have been Birthway because it's not't not what
Speaker 1: they do. But I'm just saying, like, like it's an
Speaker 1: organization right birthright. It says, here's a free trip. But
Speaker 1: then they're like they didn't they try to guilt you
Speaker 1: into becoming super Jewish the whole time, depending on the one.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, um, well so this one, for the
Speaker 1: most part, I can't complain. They mostly helped our family
Speaker 1: immigrate here. Um, so I tried that out. But also
Speaker 1: I was circumcised at seven when I came here. WHOA, yeah,
Speaker 1: you got circumcised at seven? I got circumcised at seven.
Speaker 1: I have a memory of my own circumciances. Bet you're
Speaker 1: not on dating apps anymore because I really love you
Speaker 1: to have that. That's more bio David. Memory of my
Speaker 1: own circumcision at seven years old. Now that's really interesting
Speaker 1: because um yeah, interesting, I'm sure is the word worth
Speaker 1: a lot of well, it's a lot of things. How
Speaker 1: did they? How did you know? Who gave you? The news?
Speaker 1: Was like a Marie thing where I had to hold Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like this foreskin doesn't spark joy? I think you
Speaker 1: could get rid of it, um I will. What I
Speaker 1: do remember is they gave me. I don't remember I
Speaker 1: was awake. I know they didn't want me to sleep.
Speaker 1: I can't remember if they like, if it was numb
Speaker 1: or not. I don't remember any I don't remember any
Speaker 1: like pain. It's really nice that you don't remember, because
Speaker 1: I think if it was super painful at seven, you
Speaker 1: would have I mean, is that a tragic experience? I mean,
Speaker 1: wasn't for me? Genitals? That's that's an intimate. I they
Speaker 1: gave me one of those Do you remember those video
Speaker 1: games they had where it's like an LCD screen the
Speaker 1: background doesn't move and like football players kind of move.
Speaker 1: So I played that dick. Yeah. They also had the
Speaker 1: little water ones where you push it and like the
Speaker 1: water it's out and the rings you get the rings.
Speaker 1: That sounds like it terry and that's circumcision advis Oh no,
Speaker 1: I liked it was closed. The water is not out
Speaker 1: of imagine that incourage people circumcised sized to you that
Speaker 1: I can't remember it was the orgy circumcision because and
Speaker 1: and do you remember any of the tools, Like, how
Speaker 1: do you even do they use it? Now? I don't
Speaker 1: remember that specifically. I'm sure something sharp. Well, I mean
Speaker 1: usually usually when the baby is getting circumcised, you're at
Speaker 1: you're at a brisk and doesn't the guy just put
Speaker 1: the dick in his mouth and it like some like
Speaker 1: insane ha seeds did? Yeah, ok these guys man, I
Speaker 1: should hope now I feel like my parents. I should
Speaker 1: trust that my parents would flip out if someone tried
Speaker 1: to do that. I would hope. You've never been to
Speaker 1: a brisk. I actually went to my first breast like
Speaker 1: three weeks ago, okay, because I was like that they
Speaker 1: use it's almost like a like a like a barber.
Speaker 1: You've ever seen like a small barber like a cigar cutter.
Speaker 1: I actually didn't see that. They're small metal tools and
Speaker 1: they're usually not like electronics. So and and they how
Speaker 1: why I know this is an extreme circumstances. When the
Speaker 1: guy puts the dick in the what is he tying?
Speaker 1: Or he's so looking at all their reasoning and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna explain this. R. Kelly literally saying here's what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: and everyone's getting it. It's blood, it's not so they're
Speaker 1: still like I would still be comfortable calling it savage,
Speaker 1: but like their reasoning is like if you if they
Speaker 1: were doing this, let's say, thousands of years ago in
Speaker 1: the desert and they were wandering through and this was
Speaker 1: considered like the safer thing because people probably got infections
Speaker 1: under there. And she's like that they're not showering, bathing, well,
Speaker 1: so you don't have any you don't have clean water,
Speaker 1: you don't have anything sterile. So my guess, again without
Speaker 1: just at all has the barberism that it is. That's
Speaker 1: probably the reasoning today. What the you have no reason
Speaker 1: to do that? You know, well, like like orthodox Judaism,
Speaker 1: many parts of it that it doesn't make sense because
Speaker 1: like keeping kosher, for instance, a lot of the rules
Speaker 1: of keeping kosher go back from years and years and
Speaker 1: years ago with cleanliness and heat and not having proper
Speaker 1: refrigeration for food. That's why you're separating meat from dairy, etcetera,
Speaker 1: having different sinks. So kind of like it I always
Speaker 1: like compared to kind of like being amish. It's like
Speaker 1: you're living in in this old timey way really for
Speaker 1: no reason because you have modern ways to get out
Speaker 1: of it except for like pay homage to folks of
Speaker 1: your kind of thing, like or we're like saying, like,
Speaker 1: you know, the these times were better times, and and
Speaker 1: it is there are dirty, sinful times that we're living
Speaker 1: in now. I mean, that's kind of what it is.
Speaker 1: That's definitely part of it. Part of it, I think
Speaker 1: is like a self controlled because you know, some of
Speaker 1: these rules that they have is like it's not even
Speaker 1: the rule, but they build fences around the rules, so
Speaker 1: it's like pretty interesting. So they consider it's so bad
Speaker 1: to break the rule that like, so you can't work
Speaker 1: on a Saturday, right, but they can't ride bicycles either,
Speaker 1: And it's not because you can't and it's not because
Speaker 1: you can't ride a bicycle. It's because like if the
Speaker 1: chain comes off while you're riding and it by itself
Speaker 1: comes back on, you technically fix the bike, and fixing
Speaker 1: something is doing so they happen like fences because it's
Speaker 1: so the ones that are like ultra religious, none of
Speaker 1: these people are. And once we associated with either way.
Speaker 1: But why do you have to get you dick skin
Speaker 1: cut off? I actually asked my mom, and it's exactly
Speaker 1: what I guess. She was like, they told us everyone
Speaker 1: in America did it, and people would think it's funny
Speaker 1: if you didn't have it done. Wow, that's basically what
Speaker 1: they told, which the time might not have been super
Speaker 1: super inaccurate, but I mean, they still do it, but
Speaker 1: don't do it because you know what I mean is
Speaker 1: what they're saying. But that's been the argument that it's
Speaker 1: that it's male genital mutilation. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: I think that's a false equivalency. But honestly, I just
Speaker 1: had this argument because so I went to my friend's
Speaker 1: kid's circumcision. There's an event. Oh yeah, that's what a
Speaker 1: bress is. They had a beautiful breakfast platter. That's what
Speaker 1: that pre or post. Pretty much all Jews, no matter
Speaker 1: how like even if you're not that religious, do do
Speaker 1: a brisk and that's it is. It's a gathering where
Speaker 1: you watch the circumcision, but not everyone gets the moil
Speaker 1: suck off things. I mean, there's also its tribalism, which
Speaker 1: is like part of what it is. So it's like
Speaker 1: it is a way of marking your tribe. I think
Speaker 1: that I think that it is. It's a false equivalence
Speaker 1: in between the two because like it's certainly I think
Speaker 1: more damaging female circumcision is that's specifically to take away
Speaker 1: female pleasure and to say you can never enjoy your
Speaker 1: vagina progress life. You can still have an orgasm for
Speaker 1: if your diskins right off. And also the sort of
Speaker 1: an oxymoron there because like most religions are at least
Speaker 1: in some ways that patriarchy so be weird if it
Speaker 1: was a patriarchy against men against themselves, but like part
Speaker 1: of it is, yeah, distinguishing themselves from everybody in America,
Speaker 1: people do it though in general, which is like I'm
Speaker 1: not really sure I'm actually sucking a guy. I forgot
Speaker 1: he's not circumcised, and I didn't realize it, and and
Speaker 1: then I always forget. I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot
Speaker 1: you're not circumcised. It's not that weird. Do you have
Speaker 1: to do anything special? No, it comes out it just
Speaker 1: and there's not a lot of it wasn't not a
Speaker 1: lot of form not incorrected. Has something to do with
Speaker 1: America with John Kellogg, the the guy that invented cereal.
Speaker 1: Someone just super religious, super against masturbation, would say kellogg
Speaker 1: Cereal was anti masterbased want yeah, yeah, okay, breakfast, I
Speaker 1: mean that was part of it. Also, they just had
Speaker 1: a surplus of grain. And it was just all various
Speaker 1: types of corruption. But I love corruption. Um, But where
Speaker 1: were we? Oh yeah, circumcision? You know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've honestly been thinking about a lot because you know,
Speaker 1: I want to have a kid one day, right, And
Speaker 1: I feel like I got into an argument with my
Speaker 1: buddy because he was like, what do you think? Can
Speaker 1: you believe he's getting his kids circumcised? I'm like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I can believe it. It's not that crazy. But I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna be the first person to circumcise their
Speaker 1: kid out of spite because the anti circumcision people are
Speaker 1: so fucking nuts that they care about other people's babies dicks, right,
Speaker 1: and really the main thing is like mind your own
Speaker 1: goddamn business and like in the hierarchy of things to
Speaker 1: like devote your passions to trust me, as someone just
Speaker 1: texted me, this is this guy needs to get a job.
Speaker 1: Your white pair of jeans with blood as if he
Speaker 1: has a period of all. I mean, look, if you
Speaker 1: want to, like especially if you were circumcised and you
Speaker 1: regret it. But as a person who like spent six
Speaker 1: years not circumcised and then circumcised, maybe my life will
Speaker 1: be different. But I'll tell you what, it's just not
Speaker 1: at the top of the things that I think about.
Speaker 1: It hasn't ruined anything for me, and I can totally
Speaker 1: see arguments one way or another. So first of all,
Speaker 1: my mind is really not made up like I think.
Speaker 1: When I have a kid, there's gonna be so much
Speaker 1: new information for me to decide with that, Like why
Speaker 1: even say that I'm I'm going to do it one
Speaker 1: way or another now when like when I have a kid,
Speaker 1: who knows of course, I mean, no, no offense, You're
Speaker 1: not to spring chicken. It's not going to be that
Speaker 1: much in the future. That's fair to shame. Like in
Speaker 1: two years, god knows, there might be Well, no, I
Speaker 1: just mean literally the act of having a kid. It
Speaker 1: changes your you don't imagine, you know, and gonna make
Speaker 1: that I mean make that decision then though, don't wait
Speaker 1: till he's seven. Yeah, for sure, I would not do that,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean I can also I understand why
Speaker 1: people are so bent out of shape about it though,
Speaker 1: because I mean, like I always flip things around when
Speaker 1: it's like a like a gender issue, like if it
Speaker 1: was if we were mutilated female genital I would be
Speaker 1: that person out protect would But again it's different. But
Speaker 1: if it just a little bit. But but if you
Speaker 1: read articles about it, because actually have a friend who's
Speaker 1: really into it on Facebook, so I just read a
Speaker 1: kind of a lot of articles about it just because
Speaker 1: she posts them, and I'm like, well, this is kind
Speaker 1: of like in the area of stuff that we talk about,
Speaker 1: and it does apparently take away pleasure. Well maybe the
Speaker 1: equivalent though to male circumcision is laby a plastic, not
Speaker 1: that that that's what I think. That's probably more access Okay,
Speaker 1: so what if we were doing giving laby a plastic.
Speaker 1: It's when you if you have like vagual lips that
Speaker 1: are like big beef curtains, like myself. People like some
Speaker 1: people like that, oh exactly, but some people get that.
Speaker 1: There's a girl who emailed us saying that because Dane
Speaker 1: Cook had this bit about meaty Pussy's back in the
Speaker 1: day and because it inspired her well to get laby
Speaker 1: a plastic, I think shamed her would be the same
Speaker 1: properly was the anti um, but it was you know,
Speaker 1: it was a long time ago, and I feel like
Speaker 1: people weren't vocal about, like, hey, shut the funk up
Speaker 1: of cares. Some people saw his Comedy Central Presents and
Speaker 1: decided to pursue stand up other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah that that, Yeah, that's interesting. So seven and
Speaker 1: you remember your dick hurting it all? No? I I
Speaker 1: really don't. Wow, they must have numbed it. I guess, yeah,
Speaker 1: like what's the first But I mean like when you're
Speaker 1: the babies, they don't so, but I mean when you're
Speaker 1: still getting boners at seven, because some children get boners
Speaker 1: aroused very very I don't remember getting boners. Okay, when
Speaker 1: did you first get boons? Oh? I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: even twelve? Okay, yeah, like the the normal age. There's
Speaker 1: no normal age, but like such a I didn't even
Speaker 1: remember this vegetable thing you said earlier that I said
Speaker 1: ten years ago. I don't know when I started with,
Speaker 1: but the first couple of years I knew you, I
Speaker 1: would always remind you that that's what you said. I
Speaker 1: think that's why I retained this memory. So that's how
Speaker 1: I defined myself for you. Yeah right, yeah, exactly. But
Speaker 1: so okay, so that's I'm glad you've made it to America.
Speaker 1: I'm your dick's okay. So I'm just looking at penis
Speaker 1: local anesthetic. But I think you can definitely do that anyway, right,
Speaker 1: like even like a tooth numbing thing. Well, I just
Speaker 1: sometimes the penis just seems so sensitive that sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 1: can you put a needle? Have you ever? They had
Speaker 1: someone snort cocaine off my dick and that's a brist
Speaker 1: I wouldision good party. Everyone loves it. Is weird how
Speaker 1: much breakfast is at a breast because you're like, who
Speaker 1: else is going to come? It seems out of and
Speaker 1: for them just to I mean, I know it's a metaphor,
Speaker 1: but just to see a baby, you know, it's to
Speaker 1: see it's like it's to see them. I don't know,
Speaker 1: like it's like, so the one I went to was
Speaker 1: like pretty it was like an Upper West Side like
Speaker 1: orthodox Jewish. When I went to a super religious too,
Speaker 1: I had to did in a case. So a bunch
Speaker 1: of the people they're they're not even friends or family
Speaker 1: of the people. It's just literally a bunch of like
Speaker 1: super religious Jews who go to synagogue every morning. And
Speaker 1: so this isn't like a special service for the briss.
Speaker 1: They have the service and then as part of the
Speaker 1: service they do the briss and they did some other
Speaker 1: things for some other people that were there. It's normal
Speaker 1: because like when you're when you get christened or or whatever,
Speaker 1: a lot of times like uh, not not a Catholic one,
Speaker 1: but like a Methodist one that just happens as part
Speaker 1: of the service. Like in my Methodist church I used
Speaker 1: to go to, that just happened in the middle and
Speaker 1: it was the whole the whole congregation was there. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what, if I do do it, it's going
Speaker 1: to be a doctor, not a freaking old man with
Speaker 1: a beer. And that's for sure. Yeah, maybe the doctor
Speaker 1: will be an old man with a beer, but that's
Speaker 1: a doctor. Because what qualifies you to take a baby's
Speaker 1: force game. Well, you know what the one count argument
Speaker 1: to that would be, like, let's see the stats. How
Speaker 1: many circumcisions is this, doctor John? How many has this
Speaker 1: rabbi done? I mean, the more botched circumcisions of the
Speaker 1: rabbi has done? Like do you have you even? I
Speaker 1: think it's pretty like like like a pumpkin, Like I
Speaker 1: didn't see his back was to us, so he was
Speaker 1: blocking the actual procedure. Well that's it. Yeah, wow, he's
Speaker 1: like only me. I'm like, wow, okay, wow, wow, wow wow.
Speaker 1: I knew that happened. I haven't thought about it in
Speaker 1: a while, and that's so odd. But I have to
Speaker 1: I really, you know, I have respect for culture, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, man, I don't know
Speaker 1: how I feel about it. I just said, how many
Speaker 1: American male circumcisions have gone? Oh? Wait, us Circumcision Statistics
Speaker 1: c I RP dot org. I love the Internet. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's see circumcision incidents from six uh in in nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety nine eight AP issue diet another statement that said
Speaker 1: the data on potential benefits were insufficient. Okay, now I
Speaker 1: want to see, like whose penis gets Yeah, box up,
Speaker 1: that's a TLC show, but it was a circumcision was botched?
Speaker 1: What's incidents? Roy? That's not right? Yeah, this is this
Speaker 1: is not really these are really not the charts. I
Speaker 1: was like, the I think they're just saying who is
Speaker 1: getting circumcised? Yeah, because there's artis about how the industrialized
Speaker 1: world is now turning against circumcision. But you know, we'll
Speaker 1: get into this and then you know, like I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know, like Krine, you know some guys,
Speaker 1: like some guys have dated like they really love their dick,
Speaker 1: like they're really, how do you feel about your dick?
Speaker 1: Like I feel good about it? I can't say I
Speaker 1: have like an obsession, right, that's health. Thank god I
Speaker 1: have guys who are like, I love my dick Like
Speaker 1: it's like I've never dated a guy who says that.
Speaker 1: I've dated guys who have alluded to that amount of
Speaker 1: love towards their dick. And I was just wondering how
Speaker 1: men feel about their dick. Did some men I feel
Speaker 1: like they hit it because there's like it makes them
Speaker 1: do things I don't want to do. I'm sure if
Speaker 1: you have a healthy psychology, you probably treated like every
Speaker 1: other part of your body that serves a purpose, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. Do you sleep around? Well, when you were
Speaker 1: you were, you were engaged. Actually I got engaged this
Speaker 1: past weekend model what a sege? And now to answer
Speaker 1: your question, lot when you were single, No, I I
Speaker 1: was never like that crazy. I feel like, um, I
Speaker 1: feel like you were contained, like you you had a
Speaker 1: real handle on your sex and you're smoking too much
Speaker 1: pot to we that's I honestly think marijuana addiction kept
Speaker 1: me like off the streets. You can be addicted to marijuana.
Speaker 1: You know why people say that you can't, And let
Speaker 1: me tell you can. I dated someone who you can. Well,
Speaker 1: so here's the thing, right, it's not and let me
Speaker 1: and I kind of stopped, like I'm smoking a little
Speaker 1: bit now, but I haven't. I basically stopped for all
Speaker 1: of January. I stopped last January January. And if somebody
Speaker 1: has been smoking like just about every day at varying
Speaker 1: degrees of like how much since like I don't know,
Speaker 1: fourteen fifteen, Oh wow, Okay, that's a while. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a lot of years under your belt. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, when I decided to stop, it was really
Speaker 1: no sweat to just stop once I made that decision.
Speaker 1: And I think that first of all, it's not it's
Speaker 1: not physically addictive in the same way as certain other things,
Speaker 1: but like psychologically you can do anything too much. You
Speaker 1: can have a psychological attachment to something. You can like
Speaker 1: exercise too much and have an exercise addiction. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: like that's too much celery, Yeah, because I'm like the
Speaker 1: very the very argument that pot is not addictive if
Speaker 1: you believe that porn can be addictive, just cancels that out.
Speaker 1: But because what they're saying when when people are like
Speaker 1: very propot and they're talking about that it's not addictive,
Speaker 1: they mean like it has no addictive ingredients the way
Speaker 1: like a cigarette does. But I think any human being
Speaker 1: is capable of forming an addiction out of anything because comfort,
Speaker 1: you get certain symptoms. You know, It's funny, is it
Speaker 1: suppresses your dreams. That's one thing. So when you when
Speaker 1: you stop smoking, you start dreaming a lot, and that
Speaker 1: is insane, and you know, it's also funny. And I
Speaker 1: realized afterwards this is like an actual general psychological phenomenon.
Speaker 1: But what happened to me, It didn't happen this time around.
Speaker 1: For some reason. But what would happen to me before
Speaker 1: when I would try to like not smoke, is in
Speaker 1: my dreams, I would smoke and I'd be like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: I funked up. I was trying not just smoke. And
Speaker 1: then I'd wake up and be like, oh, I didn't smoke.
Speaker 1: And then I like, I was googling um for like
Speaker 1: I was writing a joke and was googling something else,
Speaker 1: and I googled vegetarian meat dreams. And that's for like
Speaker 1: a whole other reason that I won't get into. But
Speaker 1: that's a thing I've learned, is people try to go
Speaker 1: vegetarian and how dreams where they meet and they sunk up. Wow.
Speaker 1: I haven't had any of those dressed so, like I said,
Speaker 1: I didn't have that with this time. But apparently it's
Speaker 1: like a psychological thing. I guess if you're trying to
Speaker 1: like focus and control yourself with something, you might dream
Speaker 1: that you sucked up during pass the right. I once
Speaker 1: had an American dream about a dancing cheeseburger, though many
Speaker 1: years ago, sounds pretty sweet. Yeah, well, I mean because
Speaker 1: I would miss it so much. Cheeseburgers are dancing cheeseburgers.
Speaker 1: It was dancing I had it was wearing white gloves.
Speaker 1: Thank you. So you didn't work around a lot, No,
Speaker 1: not a lot, but you you know, yeah, I always
Speaker 1: thought like ilways thought you like you were cute, you
Speaker 1: had shipped together, you were very funny, like you know.
Speaker 1: But I think it took me a little bit untill
Speaker 1: after college to like really like be confident with women
Speaker 1: I dated. I had like a girlfriend in high school
Speaker 1: who I lost Virginia too. We lost your Virginia each other.
Speaker 1: I didn't sleep with anybody until after her until I
Speaker 1: think maybe sophomore year of college. I might have not
Speaker 1: even slept with anybody in my freshman year, I'm not
Speaker 1: exactly sure. And then there was like one girl and
Speaker 1: that at work and we dated for a little while
Speaker 1: and like kind of here and there. And then after graduating,
Speaker 1: you know, started doing comedy, started hanging out more and
Speaker 1: things like that. But I never like slued it around
Speaker 1: or anything. For you always seem like anytime you would
Speaker 1: date someone that you would always get bored with them
Speaker 1: really quickly, or that you just like, it's so crazy
Speaker 1: to me in the past couple of years how much
Speaker 1: things have turned around, because like the fact that you're engaged.
Speaker 1: Blows my mind, like you were one of the last
Speaker 1: people I would thought not. And it's not. It's not
Speaker 1: because of anything about you. It's because of your feelings conversations.
Speaker 1: I've had a way of like verbalizing it. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: for starters. My fiance is Yeah, it's kind of fun
Speaker 1: to say. It's so cool. I love her, Hi, Megan, Hey,
Speaker 1: I love her team man. Um, so she's the first
Speaker 1: person I said I love you too that I dated.
Speaker 1: Also aside from aside from doesn't that that's a little Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty three. Okay, So I said I love you
Speaker 1: to my girlfriend in high school. But that doesn't really count.
Speaker 1: You know that counts. It's young love, as I suppose
Speaker 1: it's it's not as encompassing of all the factors of life,
Speaker 1: but it's not mature. Yeah. How what were you thirty
Speaker 1: one when you started dating Megan a little earlier? Um,
Speaker 1: it's going to be we're coming up on three years.
Speaker 1: Were you ever anti marriage in your I was. I
Speaker 1: was never anti marriage, and I always thought that eventually
Speaker 1: I probably would. Um. I always wanted kids more than marriage.
Speaker 1: It just felt like for that exact reason, it literally
Speaker 1: just felt like too much and men feel that way. Honestly,
Speaker 1: really it's like a narcissistic like let me replicate myself.
Speaker 1: But also it's like I can make a human. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it just seems like interesting of a thing not to do.
Speaker 1: Out of all the ship that I could do, this
Speaker 1: is like a pretty like unique and interesting thing. That's
Speaker 1: it's just so much again information from like that life experience,
Speaker 1: but knowing you and your views on things, I could
Speaker 1: also see you taking the approach which is my approach.
Speaker 1: It's like there's too many people in the world. It's
Speaker 1: things aren't going great, and I don't want to ask
Speaker 1: there's too many idiots. There's way too many people. No,
Speaker 1: but we're actually from what I understand is we're supposed
Speaker 1: to hit nine billion and then go back down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's going down because people stop having as many kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as more more people get taken out of poverty, and
Speaker 1: because like, yeah, my grandma is one of like twelve
Speaker 1: because like most of them don't survive. Yeah, man, they
Speaker 1: die in the war and whatever else. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: the farther you go back. Everyone had, you know, I
Speaker 1: have one sibling and then like and then like then
Speaker 1: five siblings, and then ten and then twelve siblings and
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, Yes exactly, because then most of them. Would
Speaker 1: you keep one for spare parts? Yeah, exactly, you harvest
Speaker 1: the organs, you know. Speaking of death, I actually I
Speaker 1: want to bring this up because it's too funny of
Speaker 1: a thing not to mention, even though it's not directly relevant.
Speaker 1: But so I mentioned before, my grandfather had another family
Speaker 1: because he remarried. It was rest. But my grandfather prior
Speaker 1: to him, who I never met, he died a year
Speaker 1: before I was born. Died from drinking horse milk in Uzbekistan.
Speaker 1: Horses what so horses are mammals of course female is
Speaker 1: obviously my mind when I first realized, because you don't
Speaker 1: really think about horses in that kind of way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna gona milk my horse. Yeah, but they drank
Speaker 1: it and like during the war, I guess he was
Speaker 1: sent over there and they didn't pasteurize it, and he
Speaker 1: got some sort of bacteria and it looked took like
Speaker 1: twenty years to kill him. It like paralyzed him. Was
Speaker 1: like agonizing, just like you had a horse milk on
Speaker 1: Friday by Monday, yeah, and then he kicks you or
Speaker 1: she And that's how the Clydesdale takes you out. But
Speaker 1: twenty years that's a long death sentence. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: had had to go on that little a little tangent.
Speaker 1: It was just little facts, so gross, Um had milk
Speaker 1: is milk? I don't like. I was reading some of
Speaker 1: the you sent us an email just about like some
Speaker 1: stories and stuff about you, and you're talking about this one.
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell the engagement story. Yeah, yeah, well
Speaker 1: so because I I didn't hear it. I feel weird
Speaker 1: about it because only because I didn't do it for content.
Speaker 1: But it's gonna sound like I'm an asshole. A little
Speaker 1: bit can be funny, You're like long story shortly twice
Speaker 1: because I thought it would be fun and charming to
Speaker 1: do it at a COSTC And uh did you run
Speaker 1: this idea by anyone? Because he certainly didn't run a
Speaker 1: buy me. I ran it by a few people. So
Speaker 1: I had the ring for like three months because you
Speaker 1: had mentioned it to me a while ago. Because we
Speaker 1: how did you pick it? What's that? Um? Well, I
Speaker 1: we we openly started talking about marriage at a certain point.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like a surprise or anything like that. You know,
Speaker 1: at a certain point, you're like trying to plan a
Speaker 1: life together, you know. And so I figured once we
Speaker 1: started doing that that I would like send her images
Speaker 1: and we go back and forth. And so I hung
Speaker 1: out onto it for a while because I still wanted
Speaker 1: to kind of catch her off guard a little bit.
Speaker 1: So I didn't want to just get the ring and
Speaker 1: then do it. And so I had it, and then
Speaker 1: we had a trip to California to visit her family,
Speaker 1: and she told me she didn't want it in front
Speaker 1: of friends or family. She's not like that kind of person.
Speaker 1: Thank God. I love her. I love her more than
Speaker 1: a silly goose. She's a good gang to my gang. Uh.
Speaker 1: And so I actually took the ring with me to
Speaker 1: California if there was like a nice moment to do it.
Speaker 1: We were in um Sonoma. It's always going to travel
Speaker 1: as much as possible with expensive joy. I was sweating
Speaker 1: it a little bit, and then I took it and
Speaker 1: I brought it back. I didn't do it there because
Speaker 1: there wasn't like a clear time to do it. And
Speaker 1: then I want to give the anxiety at the ass.
Speaker 1: I just thought Costco is like we both like going.
Speaker 1: I love to be honest, Costco is one of the
Speaker 1: most magical places next to the container store. I can
Speaker 1: go off here when they have those synagogue shootings earlier,
Speaker 1: Like let me tell you, like they shot up a Costco,
Speaker 1: I would be sitting shiva for a month, Like that's
Speaker 1: what would really take me out. It's I love it.
Speaker 1: I mean especially New York Sanctuary sponsorship. Yeah. Um, but
Speaker 1: I thought I would do it, and I did it
Speaker 1: in the like produce eggs section. You know, I love
Speaker 1: eggs flip omelets on my Instagram and so like part
Speaker 1: of my like humantically tuned out for was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I love you more than I love eggs, Joe, were
Speaker 1: you smiling like an asshole? And I was totally sincere.
Speaker 1: And I had our friends Justin Perez hiding filming with
Speaker 1: his phone, and he's the only one I told that
Speaker 1: I would be there. And Justin's not going to tell
Speaker 1: you to not do that. Justin Justin's going to egg
Speaker 1: you on. You know, it's a bit more than Justin.
Speaker 1: You know, people they showed some skepticism, but I, you know,
Speaker 1: ship but I thought it was you know, it's one
Speaker 1: of those domesticated things too, where like it's like fun
Speaker 1: doing this thing with this person that you'll be doing
Speaker 1: for a long time already boring. Yeah, well the shop boring.
Speaker 1: It makes me I understand, you know, I'm grocery shopping
Speaker 1: with a boyfriend. Girl like that's but I like, exactly
Speaker 1: you wanted to be. You see some people shouting at
Speaker 1: each other in the aisles of the store, and you're like,
Speaker 1: we're going, yeah, I mean you think you'd hope so
Speaker 1: so then so then and she said yes. At that
Speaker 1: time as well, was she shocked because the cost she
Speaker 1: really joking at first because the box that it was
Speaker 1: in I had it still wrapped in the paper because
Speaker 1: I didn't want the box to get scratched up. So
Speaker 1: like she saw I read, I got down on my
Speaker 1: one knee and I took it out. But she saw
Speaker 1: I had the papers. She's like, oh good, he's joking.
Speaker 1: And then I take it out of it. And so
Speaker 1: she told me all this afterwards. At the time she
Speaker 1: was she like commented how she loved the ring, and
Speaker 1: she said yes, But then she was a little bit
Speaker 1: quiet afterwards, and I could tell something was off. And
Speaker 1: then she didn't want to talk about it at the Costco.
Speaker 1: And then on the ride home, she was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I just feel weird, like tongue my mom. It was
Speaker 1: a costco and like that kind of stuff now, and
Speaker 1: you didn't you didn't project that far into the future
Speaker 1: of like imagining her telling her mom, where were you at?
Speaker 1: You know? Okay, So here's the other thing. I had
Speaker 1: other people gather around, like how do we give it?
Speaker 1: Like there's the video and there's literally one other guy
Speaker 1: in the egg produced section that's just watching, and then goes,
Speaker 1: that's a great scene for a movie. I'm looking for content,
Speaker 1: and I must repeat I am not looking for God.
Speaker 1: So afterwards, we're riding back and I look up the
Speaker 1: bar when we had our first date closed. I look
Speaker 1: up the bar where we had our second date close,
Speaker 1: Hot Bird in Fourth Green and then Russian team room
Speaker 1: in Williamsburg. There's another Russian team room. So we went
Speaker 1: to the other, like really nice like bar restaurant near est.
Speaker 1: It actually had like live Irish music as like just
Speaker 1: by chance. And then I had something you guys enjoyed
Speaker 1: together or well it's it's not like, yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: Cartooniship was just like three guys playing live guitar and
Speaker 1: it was just a nice atmosphere and and and a
Speaker 1: good way to juxtap was doing it at the ex
Speaker 1: section of Costco. So and and then she got teary eyed,
Speaker 1: and it was like a much more like okay, this
Speaker 1: is this is the warm emotional reaction that feels like
Speaker 1: I didn't sunk up. So did you take the ring
Speaker 1: back and get that on your knee again? Wait? How
Speaker 1: did you take Did you take the ring off her
Speaker 1: finger while she was sleeping literally back on the drive
Speaker 1: from I literally did it right afterwards. It was right out.
Speaker 1: She knew it was coming again. So when you felt
Speaker 1: like interesting, wasn't there was something off? That's when you
Speaker 1: were like giving that ring back, I wouldn't need an
Speaker 1: additional ring. Yeah, I feel like she was kind she
Speaker 1: was kind of quiet, and I was like, do you
Speaker 1: want me to do this over? And and and she
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to talk about it, not
Speaker 1: at Costco. And then she walked away for a little
Speaker 1: bit and then she came back and she said and
Speaker 1: she said, uh, yeah, I do want you to do
Speaker 1: it over. So I did it over. Okay. Yeah, Well
Speaker 1: then you worked that out and everyone's happy now, Yes,
Speaker 1: everyone's good. It's been posted on Facebook. The relatives have
Speaker 1: been called I got I got a text, so I
Speaker 1: feel I you happy that you let me know I texted.
Speaker 1: I texted because we at first we weren't even going
Speaker 1: to post about it, and then she was like, I
Speaker 1: guess I will post, so when we weren't going to post,
Speaker 1: and also like it's easier because then just everyone knows it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you you text the people that you're close with.
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what. Though. We call my parents
Speaker 1: and their immediate reaction, they's my parents lover, they were waiting.
Speaker 1: My dad's been like, honestly, like pretty annoying about it
Speaker 1: about proposing to her. Yeah, to the point where I
Speaker 1: had to be like, please stop talking about it. Sometimes
Speaker 1: she's on the phone or like she uses my iPad
Speaker 1: and my text pop up on there. How often would
Speaker 1: he talk about it? Like every time? Like very often? Yeah,
Speaker 1: at a certain point she starts like kind of you know,
Speaker 1: they want grandkids and all that kind of ship. But
Speaker 1: I called them and they're like, congratulations, your cousin's pregnant
Speaker 1: and just you that's like a Jewish parents. They're not
Speaker 1: normally the type to do that. So I was just like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck. Yeah, that's annoying. So did we were
Speaker 1: really happy for you and I don't care if you
Speaker 1: ever make a baby. I love you both, I care,
Speaker 1: I won't Yeah, did she did you talk all this
Speaker 1: all this stuff? If everything works, well, you never know
Speaker 1: until you try. It's true. And also the odds of
Speaker 1: getting having a mischaracter very high, and it's yeah, actually
Speaker 1: that's a good thing. You should imagine that. In the proposal,
Speaker 1: I love you, and the statistics are one and four.
Speaker 1: I know that really is the thing that people should
Speaker 1: talk about because it's I didn't know that until very recently.
Speaker 1: And it's uh, my mom had two before me and
Speaker 1: two after me. I believe my mom had like three
Speaker 1: in between my brother and I. Ye, she couldn't she
Speaker 1: had I'll text my mom, now, how many what's it
Speaker 1: called like? And uh something where it was in one
Speaker 1: of her two Oh yeah yeah yeah that reason. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you know, assuming everything functions properly. Phillipian Philippian, Yeah, no, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I know. I'm just thinking about a small, small thing
Speaker 1: stuck in one of my tubes and it hurts think about. So,
Speaker 1: so I'm curious, like how long you've been dating? It
Speaker 1: will be about three years. Three years okay, And did
Speaker 1: you guys discuss part part when you discussed the marriage thing,
Speaker 1: did you discuss like do you want kids? And she
Speaker 1: said yes, we've discussed it all throughout the relationship, even
Speaker 1: a couple of dates where you're talking about that. Yeah, somebody,
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you want kids? Because if it's a
Speaker 1: hard no, I mean that's I know a lot of
Speaker 1: couples who were good couples and that fundamental thing kind
Speaker 1: of like eventually destroyed the relationship. And it was a
Speaker 1: big part with me, me and like with Frank dumping me,
Speaker 1: that was a big reason because he was just like
Speaker 1: wanted kids like and like soon. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want kids ever. So yeah
Speaker 1: he does have one. Um but like, wait, so you
Speaker 1: you've been flip flopping you decide you definitely want Yeah,
Speaker 1: no want kids. Was this from the Mexican Retreat? Yeah,
Speaker 1: as a Mexican yoga retreat. I was meditating a lot
Speaker 1: on it realized you wanted kids. But also I've been
Speaker 1: researching childhood trauma a lot. I'm reading books. I'm going
Speaker 1: to meet like I'm only and I just know how
Speaker 1: I know about secure attachments with infants. Now, like I'm
Speaker 1: studying this ship not on purpose, I just am no.
Speaker 1: But that's good and I feel like I can put
Speaker 1: a very well functioning human being into the world. I
Speaker 1: will do a lot of That's the only reason why
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's a bummer that I'm not putting a kid,
Speaker 1: because I ki I can like a good lego set,
Speaker 1: I can make it nice. Um. I was in Mexico. Actually,
Speaker 1: I was gonna tell you guys about this because I
Speaker 1: got drugged at a strip club in Mexico. Now, now
Speaker 1: now that sucks. Were you roofied? How were you drugs?
Speaker 1: This is what we think. So I didn't know at first.
Speaker 1: So I didn't drink all months. So this was my
Speaker 1: first day drinking and it was and it was it
Speaker 1: was four of us in can Ku and then we
Speaker 1: go yes bachelor party and so we go to this
Speaker 1: strip club and I we drank a decent amounts. We
Speaker 1: were getting like shots and stuff like that. So it
Speaker 1: was hard for me to know, right, but my buddy afterward,
Speaker 1: it was just it just felt like we were like
Speaker 1: a little bit more drunk and trashed and like finding
Speaker 1: our way back and like everything just felt like weird.
Speaker 1: And then the next day he was like, yeah, we
Speaker 1: were drugged. I was like, maybe we were just drunk,
Speaker 1: Like you just don't want to like take responsibility for
Speaker 1: going to a strip club. He's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know, doubt and shaming. So I was still shaming
Speaker 1: my friend and uh and he was like, no, I've
Speaker 1: been drugged before, like trust me. And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I still don't know. I think you might be avoiding
Speaker 1: responsibility here. And so I was like fifty fifty on it.
Speaker 1: And then the next day a bunch more dudes fly
Speaker 1: in to meet us and they're all like, we want
Speaker 1: to go to the strip club. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going back to the strip club. So me
Speaker 1: and like three of us to win the previous night,
Speaker 1: we're like, we're not going. So we didn't go, and
Speaker 1: the bachelor was like, I'm gonna go, but I'll chaperone
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna like, I'm just gonna make sure
Speaker 1: everyone's okay. So they went for only an hour and
Speaker 1: a half. We're on What's at texting the whole time
Speaker 1: to make sure the rigid strip clubs. So they it
Speaker 1: was the second day it needed to be So they
Speaker 1: come back and he still got his cup and he's
Speaker 1: like a hundred and then he's my buddy's a pharmacist,
Speaker 1: and he's like he's like a hundred percent. They're like
Speaker 1: he's like they probably crushed zan X or something into
Speaker 1: the beers. He's like, he's like, I didn't even finish
Speaker 1: my one beer and they open it in front of you.
Speaker 1: They open the bottle in front of you, but somehow
Speaker 1: they like fake opening it whatever, And then of course
Speaker 1: we look at yelped the next thing and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't do this. They're all owned by the cartels
Speaker 1: and they drug you, and like they spend more money
Speaker 1: and they drug you, but they don't fuck you, they
Speaker 1: don't kidnap you. Well, what do they for money? Just
Speaker 1: for money's making want to spend more? Well, they're they're
Speaker 1: just like charging when you're not at your paper. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what it was. Yeah. Yeah, And also I bet
Speaker 1: some like dudes and can't coun might be like assholes
Speaker 1: at a strip club, and maybe you might want them
Speaker 1: to be a little more docile so that they're not
Speaker 1: starting ship or if you're trying to funk them over
Speaker 1: and if we like patrons, they won't throw coins at
Speaker 1: the strippers. But it makes you think that, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I strip clips are great for women, but you know
Speaker 1: they're not safe for guys either. Bad are they that? Like,
Speaker 1: because it seems like they're really cab It was it
Speaker 1: was walking distance from the resort, but we sawhow there
Speaker 1: was a cab involved in the way back. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're still a dude, because like you can't be horning
Speaker 1: and on guard at the same time, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, somebody, Yeah, that's true. And if you drug somebody,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter who you were. You could be honoring
Speaker 1: the giant. You're gonna be incapacitated. You might take a
Speaker 1: little drug right, well, way more but only strip club?
Speaker 1: Like why did you have to go back to that one?
Speaker 1: I think, I feel like, but it's all around there too,
Speaker 1: Yeah they maybe it was more for the scientific experiment
Speaker 1: of it. Jesus take it back and do a lab
Speaker 1: kid at the hotel. Now. With strip clubs, it's always
Speaker 1: interesting to me with couples, Like some couples the wife
Speaker 1: doesn't like when the husband goes with a strip club
Speaker 1: or girlfriend boy from whatever the fun but like, do
Speaker 1: you like okay. In your relationship for example, did you
Speaker 1: do you even say it or just go? And who
Speaker 1: gives a funk? Like is there jealousy there? No, we
Speaker 1: trust each other for sure. I mean that's part of
Speaker 1: the reason I've had other relationships. And this is part.
Speaker 1: Like I said, I dated somebody for like seven eight months.
Speaker 1: I did it somebody, a couple other relationships like three
Speaker 1: or four mostly everything else, like like I told you
Speaker 1: two weeks with somebody, and I know that this is
Speaker 1: not the person that I want to end up with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've only met like one or two other people you've
Speaker 1: dated besides Megan exactly. Megan definitely for has been like
Speaker 1: and she comes to a lot of shows. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm always like, God bless you, Megan, because you've heard
Speaker 1: these jokes of mine. Even at this point, like time,
Speaker 1: not as much now that always loses the lust. And
Speaker 1: she was a comedy fan before then. She her and
Speaker 1: her friends used to go to a lot of shows
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. We met on Coffee meets Bagel.
Speaker 1: She's and she's the only person I met off of there.
Speaker 1: She's the first day I had on there. Well, from
Speaker 1: my experience, a hundred percent of the time. Things are
Speaker 1: different from members. You got to do a commercial, that's great,
Speaker 1: They o me, I'm doing too many plugs now between
Speaker 1: coffee and meats, bagel and Costco. Yeah, because that's because
Speaker 1: that's like one of the that's when I've never even downloaded,
Speaker 1: I think just because I hate the name of it.
Speaker 1: So all owned by the same like parent company. It's
Speaker 1: all like one company that owns all of those. They're like,
Speaker 1: we're not really sure what we're doing, so we'll do
Speaker 1: a couple takes on this, hopefully on the one from
Speaker 1: black people, farmers met Yeah, there's even things. They're like
Speaker 1: a Trump supporters one, Yes, there is, Yeah, because sometimes
Speaker 1: you just don't want to be shamed for your political beliefs,
Speaker 1: even those ships. So we're rubbing up. But what what
Speaker 1: do you have? Like what's your and I know this
Speaker 1: is fun to go from engagement, like what's your craziest
Speaker 1: sex story of all time? Uh? You know that? I
Speaker 1: think the most interesting one. I don't have anything that's
Speaker 1: like insane, but the most interesting one. When I was twenty,
Speaker 1: me and three friends backpacked Europe and in Prague, which
Speaker 1: is a beautiful city. I think it's not what it
Speaker 1: was back then, it was like super cheap. The exchange
Speaker 1: right was crazy. We went to this like salsa club.
Speaker 1: Literally met I brought a guitar and we would like
Speaker 1: play in the in the squares and like meet people
Speaker 1: that way. And we met just like one armed Israeli
Speaker 1: poet who took us to like this weird underground club.
Speaker 1: And I was twenty and I met this thirty two
Speaker 1: year old teacher from Spain, and we both barely spoke
Speaker 1: each other's languages. Friends, So when we left the place,
Speaker 1: we like started hooking up on the dance floor. And
Speaker 1: then we leave and we're walking and we're both like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, we can't go back to my hostel. There's
Speaker 1: a bunch of people that She's like, we can't go
Speaker 1: back to my house and there's a bunch of people.
Speaker 1: So we went. Yeah, we went. There's a like a
Speaker 1: river that flows through the center of Prague and there's
Speaker 1: a park and we go in the grass, in the
Speaker 1: bushes and started sucking in the bushes. And so I
Speaker 1: have my guitar and it's like so I had it
Speaker 1: was like a travel little baby Taylor, and I had
Speaker 1: it within my peripheral and she put her purse down,
Speaker 1: and as we're fucking at a certain point, she goes
Speaker 1: my purse and we go and her purse is missing.
Speaker 1: So I get off of her and I'm like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: we gotta find this. Yeah, so I removed myself from
Speaker 1: inside her and we go to look for this purse. Now,
Speaker 1: are you still erect while you're looking for a purse?
Speaker 1: Because I think it probably killed the erection directions down
Speaker 1: pretty honestly, a twenty year roll with a little bit
Speaker 1: less life experience. I was so impressed with how cool
Speaker 1: and collected she was the whole time, right, And so
Speaker 1: we're going and like three benches down is her purse
Speaker 1: and we look and they took her cash, they took
Speaker 1: some ship, they left her I d and they left
Speaker 1: a camera with which they took a photo of us
Speaker 1: fucking and put it back in the purse. Is this
Speaker 1: a digital camera or like it was like one of
Speaker 1: those old schools, like early digital cameras. So we saw
Speaker 1: right away and she has a photo of my hairy
Speaker 1: ass and the bushes thieves with a sense of humor.
Speaker 1: You gotta respect it. Yeah, And then did you starting
Speaker 1: again or no? I think at that point it was
Speaker 1: like four in the morning, and no, I think I
Speaker 1: just where do you go from there? Yeah? I remember
Speaker 1: we were both like relatively drunk. I pocked her back
Speaker 1: to her hostel, dropped her off, and probably spent an
Speaker 1: hour and a half till like six thirty am wandering
Speaker 1: Prague finding my way back. I had to walk back
Speaker 1: to the train station and from there because I was
Speaker 1: by myself, just the old just my guitar, wandering around
Speaker 1: Prague at like five in the morning, and finally got
Speaker 1: back to my hostel. There was like mud on my pants,
Speaker 1: on the knees and stuff. Yeah, well, my friends are
Speaker 1: all like tell us at least got laid. It's like,
Speaker 1: did you ask the girl to email you the picture?
Speaker 1: I have no, never never was a story like that.
Speaker 1: You just got to leave it to get more interesting.
Speaker 1: And then if I ever get famous, I hope that
Speaker 1: photo of my ass pops up. She's selling it to
Speaker 1: you know, you care put it out there, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever does for you. I hope it helps. She still
Speaker 1: masturbates to it to this day. She has to be
Speaker 1: on a bench for us to today. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for today her birthday. Just that in modern time,
Speaker 1: I remember nothing I remember the vegetable. Where can we
Speaker 1: find you? Boris him? You can find me at the
Speaker 1: Boris k on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook or Boris
Speaker 1: hike in k h A y K I N. I
Speaker 1: actually finally know from from memory had us about your name.
Speaker 1: It only took you know what, because I don't direct
Speaker 1: people because it's the worst. Like yeah, they added it
Speaker 1: there because it's like hi ken in Russian. It's like
Speaker 1: a kind of a hard hiken. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Bars is very funny. You can go see him do
Speaker 1: stand up my calendars on my side. All that. I
Speaker 1: announced it all on the social needs and you're very
Speaker 1: funny in your social media too. Very funny follow up, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to guys. We fucked
Speaker 1: the anti sledgehaming podcasts. We will talk to you next Friday.
Speaker 1: That your MINDU was a fucking hot mess. Now I
Speaker 1: make him feel my face upon your hot chest because
Speaker 1: like I'm dreaming to the brother, I can't die just
Speaker 1: and you can't make me. Boy. I know you won't
Speaker 1: mistake me. Boy. I can't get you out on my mind.
Speaker 1: I want you all the fucking time. I can't get
Speaker 1: you out on my mind, I wander to win, I
Speaker 1: make you mine. And ever since then it was just
Speaker 1: so loud and clear, no matter where I go, I
Speaker 1: have to have your man. I want to feel your
Speaker 1: body in my atmosphere. A and I won't have so much.
Speaker 1: I only and I want your sid. I can't get
Speaker 1: you out on my mind. I want you all the
Speaker 1: fucking time. I can't get you out on my mind.
Speaker 1: I wonder, don't win or make you mine? And then
Speaker 1: for len for in my fing I need