Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys, We Fucked. Guys. We guys book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey everyone, I'm doing Welcome
Speaker 1: to Guys, We Fucked. It's a podcast we do. I'm
Speaker 1: Karren Fisher, Christina Hutchinson. Um, I forgot to get a
Speaker 1: news article, so we're gonna well, uh, we've I one
Speaker 1: of us has watched part of the Michael Jackson documentary
Speaker 1: Leaving Neverland. It's okay, you can tell the people that
Speaker 1: I have. And I'm sorry. I was up crying over
Speaker 1: a personal issue, so I couldn't cry over selfish bitch.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't cry over pedophilia on my Sunday night.
Speaker 1: And I apologize. So you know, sometimes you gotta pick one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and and and it's and it's and sometimes it's not
Speaker 1: the pedophilia. It's not the guy who everyone's it's he's
Speaker 1: a lot of people's heroes. Well it was or is
Speaker 1: and you know what, Also to um, Roxanne Gay wrote
Speaker 1: a really great article about separating the art from the
Speaker 1: artist and when people can do that and why people
Speaker 1: can do that and all that stuff. Um, I thought
Speaker 1: it was a really great read. And uh, and a
Speaker 1: lot of people obviously look up to Michael Jackson and
Speaker 1: and it's understandable that you if you still love his music,
Speaker 1: So who the funko was? Microcene tweeted like, how the
Speaker 1: good news is you could still listen to the Jackson
Speaker 1: five because he wasn't a pedophile man, he was, I mean,
Speaker 1: he was getting Yeah, so I've only watched part of
Speaker 1: the first episode, so this is not like a complete,
Speaker 1: you know, summary of what happened. And also that we're
Speaker 1: recording this on Monday before the podcast is released. So also, yeah,
Speaker 1: we did to it, but we did. We I've watched
Speaker 1: part of it and boy, oh boy, you guys, Yeah
Speaker 1: he had sex with kids. Uh, he had sex with children,
Speaker 1: And it is a very detailed account and it's Um,
Speaker 1: people being molested is something that I was made aware of.
Speaker 1: It's been happening since the geting of time, specifically children
Speaker 1: being molested and just people in general. Um, And it
Speaker 1: was something that I was made aware of since doing
Speaker 1: this podcast. I would gauge. I feel like, and this
Speaker 1: is not an accurate statistic, but it seems to me
Speaker 1: from everyone I know in real life and people that
Speaker 1: have emailed us sorry about last night show at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com that a lot of people have been molested
Speaker 1: as children. A lot of people, a lot of people
Speaker 1: have experienced some type of sexual misconduct as a child,
Speaker 1: and it's that's fucking terrible, And the one good thing
Speaker 1: that I'm excited about is that we're talking about it. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's weird because like growing up, I mean, like I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't, and to this day, I don't know any
Speaker 1: of like my personal friends who have been molested. So
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, I guess I just needed a
Speaker 1: hotter friends Justin Justin, Oh, yeah, I didn't know him
Speaker 1: as a kid, so I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know why my childhood friends have But the thing is,
Speaker 1: you don't know because people keep that stuff to themselves.
Speaker 1: I didn't know my own mother was molested at age
Speaker 1: eleven by people came on this fucking podcast, right, So
Speaker 1: oh yeah that's true. Well I want my folks to
Speaker 1: come on. I want my my mom. I don't think
Speaker 1: can't because of her job. But like my dad, actually
Speaker 1: will I told him to prep someself. Oh that's fun.
Speaker 1: My dad's a real character. I love your trying to
Speaker 1: do stand up probably really, I mean not actually like
Speaker 1: in public, but I'm saying like on the podcast, he'll
Speaker 1: he'll definitely is he Stormy Daniels Jesus, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Oh no, that I thought I spit on you.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, that's a lot of spitting
Speaker 1: our guys. You just me on yourself. Okay, that was
Speaker 1: just me missing the straw. So yeah, I've watched parts
Speaker 1: of Leaving Neverland Michael Jackson had sexual intercourse with children?
Speaker 1: Is it on? Um it's HBO, but I have the
Speaker 1: Hulu thing where you get all the things. Um, so yeah,
Speaker 1: um yeah. A lot of people have been molested and
Speaker 1: you know what I think that's talking about. It is
Speaker 1: so important for the person who was molested, I think,
Speaker 1: or anybody's experienced trauma. You know, I'm on a cell
Speaker 1: of help gig well. And especially because for this one, um,
Speaker 1: it's you know, male survivors, which there is you know,
Speaker 1: a real stigma. I mean there's a there's a thing
Speaker 1: against all survivors and you know, specifically I think Maile
Speaker 1: survivors have a little bit more trouble coming out because
Speaker 1: for some reason there is like embarrassment because the masculinity
Speaker 1: is treated like this fucking like like night's shield that
Speaker 1: can never be penetrated, and that's not what that is.
Speaker 1: And then it's the second layer of like you know,
Speaker 1: so it's pedophilia, and then it's like homeless homosexuality, right,
Speaker 1: and then there's homophobia that goes over that. And a
Speaker 1: lot of times when people get molested, they they're genitals
Speaker 1: are act as if they are aroused because that's a
Speaker 1: defense mechanism, and that that sucks you up, especially if
Speaker 1: you don't know that that's what happens. So and sometimes
Speaker 1: you were oppressed that Like I've been with people who
Speaker 1: it was like repressed for years and then they find out.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating the way the mind works around trauma in
Speaker 1: the way. But these interviews were very thorough and these men,
Speaker 1: these grown men who had were molested and assaulted and
Speaker 1: raped yea by Michael Jackson. You know what the weird
Speaker 1: thing is he seemed um And I don't know this
Speaker 1: is gonna be weird to say, but like a like
Speaker 1: a gentle pedophile, like a loving pedophile. I can see
Speaker 1: that because I mean, I think that was that's weird,
Speaker 1: but I have to defend him, and I haven't watched
Speaker 1: it yet, but like, I feel like Michael Jackson was
Speaker 1: so fucked up and so like did not have the
Speaker 1: chance to be a child. So yeah, I mean he was.
Speaker 1: I feel like he was just acting like a child.
Speaker 1: It was almost like what's that movie thro Robin William's
Speaker 1: Jack So that you have an adult body but your
Speaker 1: mind is still that of a child. Because one of
Speaker 1: the little boys that they interviewed him as a grown
Speaker 1: man and his mother and he would come Michael Jackson
Speaker 1: would just come over their house and like hang out
Speaker 1: like yo. And but at the time, it's fucking Michael
Speaker 1: Jackson one of the greatest entertainers on the face of
Speaker 1: the planet, ardless of these this terrible thing that he
Speaker 1: was doing. Uh, hopefully people like like I believe people
Speaker 1: like Corey Feldman now, you know, because like a lot
Speaker 1: of times they were just like, actually message and me
Speaker 1: didn't message me back. It's fine, I don't Corey dealing
Speaker 1: with some heavy stuff. No, But like you know, because
Speaker 1: you know he was, you know that that we were
Speaker 1: we were so quick to be like, oh, Corey Feldman
Speaker 1: is crazy, and I always you know I love a
Speaker 1: deep dive into celebrities. Like I've been looking it up
Speaker 1: and I'm always like, I don't think that's not the
Speaker 1: kind of thing that you make up. No, you know
Speaker 1: it's not. And I know I know that there's been
Speaker 1: many cases of people, um, not making up an assault
Speaker 1: to sexual assault. Um, I've had other stuff because I
Speaker 1: refer to things as a real Jessie now oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's fucking infuriating because he's not doing any favors
Speaker 1: to too many communities. UM, but yeah, um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: that's just watch it. It's fucked up, and if you
Speaker 1: are easily triggered, if you're someone who has experienced that,
Speaker 1: I don't recommend you watch it. I heard this one
Speaker 1: was like a little bit more or like graphic and
Speaker 1: yet triggering than the because I was I was prepared
Speaker 1: for a lot with the R Kelly And while it was,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know I was that took up, you know,
Speaker 1: a good full weekend of my life, you know, taking
Speaker 1: ham written notes about it. I wasn't. It didn't like
Speaker 1: bother me like like a n stories that we've heard.
Speaker 1: I didn't specific stories about R Kelly, but I've heard stories.
Speaker 1: And also I think we knew what was coming, like
Speaker 1: we knew it was coming a little bit more. I didn't,
Speaker 1: you know. The other thing that sucked me up a
Speaker 1: little bit. So while watching this Michael Jackson thing, you
Speaker 1: know everybody, those were the allegations were that he molested
Speaker 1: kids and stuff. And I never looked into them because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to know. I didn't want to he
Speaker 1: was just like sleeping in a bed with them. I didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I did not personally look into all of that.
Speaker 1: I didn't research it. I didn't want to know. I
Speaker 1: remember when we were hanging out with Devin Retrey, who
Speaker 1: played Buzz. I thought you were Michael Jackson and I
Speaker 1: was like, Christina, I wasn't invited to that said, I
Speaker 1: was hanging out with my ex, but I was with
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson. Know um. Devin Retree who played Buzz on
Speaker 1: Home Alone, one of the greatest movies of all time.
Speaker 1: Remember he told us he was like, yeah, Mac and
Speaker 1: him would hang out like Michael would come to his trailer.
Speaker 1: I remember that, and he like, yeah, yeah, yah, sorry,
Speaker 1: we're yeah. I call him Mac too because I don't um.
Speaker 1: And I remember him telling me that I was like,
Speaker 1: let's talk about something else. And you know, I was
Speaker 1: part of the It's so strange. It's like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you watch did you watch Abducted
Speaker 1: in Plain Sight? No? Everyone's telling me about that too.
Speaker 1: So another thing that's happening in there is like, yo, hey,
Speaker 1: if you have a kid and then there's an adult
Speaker 1: who wants to be friends with your kid and like,
Speaker 1: weird in your kid's room alone. No, that's not okay.
Speaker 1: Oh is that what happening abducted in playing stuff? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That that's not abducted in playing site. That's Hey, don't
Speaker 1: let your child hang out with a kid. Just had
Speaker 1: a full on mail adult friend. She's a little girl, Yo,
Speaker 1: No little girls that Hey, what did we say? No girl?
Speaker 1: Man wants to be your friend? Oh? Man? That meme
Speaker 1: got so much my Instagram. I mean you would think
Speaker 1: you would think that I just wrote all Jews should
Speaker 1: die and posted it. That's like how that's the level
Speaker 1: that people at And I was it metal? My god?
Speaker 1: Was it men um? And that's not true. There was
Speaker 1: a lot of men. There was women mad too, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just everyone's mad. Hey, can't we
Speaker 1: have a little l O L. Guys, it sucks. I
Speaker 1: put a funny Jordan's would picture that's hilarious. Oh I
Speaker 1: saw that. This very fine. I mean like these things
Speaker 1: are throwaway jokes and people are responding so intensely. I
Speaker 1: mean I even tried to put up a picture of
Speaker 1: me with a dolphin in there. Wish you fucking AUNTI
Speaker 1: whale pasted. I don't. I don't know what to do now, guys,
Speaker 1: I don't. I've stopped eating mahi mahi a long time ago,
Speaker 1: soph Yeah, like like a take on a dolphin, so
Speaker 1: then I could eat it. J K. I have the
Speaker 1: palate of a twelve year old. I on crustables with
Speaker 1: grape jelly. Hey, come see us live, you guys, Saturday
Speaker 1: March thirtieth. That's coming up soon. We're gonna be in Tempe, Arizona.
Speaker 1: And is it Tempe or Tempe. I don't fu Tempy Tempe.
Speaker 1: Something that vegans Tempe makes me sound like a pretentious ship,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say Tempe, Arizona. Saturday, March thirty at
Speaker 1: the Improv. We're doing two shows but one night, and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to make a joke about two girls
Speaker 1: one cup Indianapolis, Indiana. We're gonna be at the Helium
Speaker 1: Comedy Club Thursday, April eighteen. I almost forgot about that
Speaker 1: gig through through Saturday April and then Boston, Massachusetts. Tickets
Speaker 1: are actually going really fast for this, which is what
Speaker 1: we wanted, and I'm very happy. But you gotta go
Speaker 1: to our website to get them now. Friday, May three, Boston, Massachusetts.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do the Wilber Theater again for the Women
Speaker 1: in Comedy Festival. The first time we did it sold out.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna maybe I'll buy my parents again because um,
Speaker 1: they don't yell at me for saying things if I
Speaker 1: sold out eleven hundred seater you know, low expectations. Parents.
Speaker 1: Go to Sorry about Last Night Comedy dot com slash
Speaker 1: Tours for all the other dates. Also New York City,
Speaker 1: glamor Pus is happening Fry Saturday, Saturday, March thirty, myself
Speaker 1: and Wendy's Darling Zinc Bar get on it. Um. Last month,
Speaker 1: we had a very soft skinned, um male stripper who
Speaker 1: I think was straight. Um, he was just Italian, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: And he took his clothes off and he put me
Speaker 1: on his body and it is the best line of
Speaker 1: my life. I know, I was up sun, I couldn't go.
Speaker 1: I was I was elsewhere. Um. And then for me,
Speaker 1: because Karenna, I have a couple uh dates that you
Speaker 1: could visit me in different cities. Baltimore. Um, on Thursday, March,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be at Mgooby's Joke House. Yeah. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be there with Ayanna Dukie. It's gonna be really fun.
Speaker 1: She's so hilarious and talented. Um. And then in April, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to a wedding and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I can't just you know, I want to be able
Speaker 1: to write this trip off. So I book some shows
Speaker 1: around it, and I'll be in Columbus, Ohio and Cincinnati, Ohio.
Speaker 1: I think it's April fourth and fifth, Columbus being the fourth,
Speaker 1: uh Sincinnati being a fifth. There those are like wineries
Speaker 1: or breweries. Um. Again, you just follow me on social
Speaker 1: media at Philanthropy Gal for all that information and I'll
Speaker 1: get the links up on my website, which is Karen
Speaker 1: Fisher dot com. Yeah, and our duo social media is
Speaker 1: sorry about last night, s r y about last I'm
Speaker 1: wite on Twitter. I'm Christina Hodge follow us because we
Speaker 1: have a lot of updates. One of the updates is
Speaker 1: an announcement we're very excited to make. We are joining
Speaker 1: the Luminary family. Um, the Luminary sounds like we just
Speaker 1: announced we're in a cult. Oh yeah, no, it's a
Speaker 1: cult for great things. Um, I'm really fucking excited about this.
Speaker 1: Is this huge This guy Matt, his name is Matt
Speaker 1: and uh we met with him a while ago and
Speaker 1: he fucking really is Love's podcast asking and wants to
Speaker 1: take it in a direction that's really innovative. Podcasting is
Speaker 1: a really new medium. It's been around for you know,
Speaker 1: a hot minute, but it's considering. Yeah, we've gotten ourselves
Speaker 1: into some real legal pickles. Yeah, but also it's so fascinating,
Speaker 1: Like we started this podcast when I knew what podcasts were,
Speaker 1: but they didn't the clouds and the respect and the
Speaker 1: amount of ears that are on podcasts or it's huge.
Speaker 1: People are listening to podcasts, I feel like more than watching,
Speaker 1: because there's so much fucking content on television now that
Speaker 1: I feel like people I don't know, I've just noticed
Speaker 1: people listening more and more to because you can complay
Speaker 1: niche in a in a podcast, whereas on television you
Speaker 1: have to go so vague to appeal to so many
Speaker 1: people and to appease sponsors. And that's one of the
Speaker 1: things I love about podcasting, especially in a day and
Speaker 1: age like so often, um, we're being sun sort or
Speaker 1: told what we can and cannot say in our art,
Speaker 1: and podcasting was one of the few places, especially with
Speaker 1: Christina and myself, because we created this ourselves and and
Speaker 1: make all our own decisions business wise, It's given the
Speaker 1: us the opportunity to do what we want to do,
Speaker 1: to talk about what we want to talk about, because,
Speaker 1: believe us, like we've tried to talk about rape and
Speaker 1: sexual assault on TV and like people, we get a
Speaker 1: big fat no yeah, and it's like, okay, so you
Speaker 1: don't think it happens, Okay, gotta gotta gotta got um.
Speaker 1: And so this is such a unique fucking platform, a podcast,
Speaker 1: and we're really proud. I'm so fucking proud of guys
Speaker 1: who fu I I we we talked about this a lot.
Speaker 1: I really we started this five years ago. I had
Speaker 1: no fucking idea that anyone was gonna listen. To be honest, um, no,
Speaker 1: I though that was a great idea but I like,
Speaker 1: you know, like dance like no one's watching, talk like
Speaker 1: no one's listening, right, and I and I and I've
Speaker 1: the amount of real that we get on this podcast
Speaker 1: is it surprises me when I listened back to it
Speaker 1: um and the arcs that it has taken from from
Speaker 1: interviewing guys we've actually fucked to um talking about really
Speaker 1: serious topics that I knew nothing about. I don't think
Speaker 1: you knew anything about either, like pedophilia, like rape, like
Speaker 1: like a abortion. Talking about these really serious topics in
Speaker 1: a way that could shed some light on them and
Speaker 1: that we aren't being centered has been the most incredible
Speaker 1: experience I've ever had in my life. And to have
Speaker 1: an audience of people who give a ship and want
Speaker 1: to hear what we have to say and also uh
Speaker 1: contribute to this podcast being what it is. It's also
Speaker 1: a really unique time, Capsul. It's like a diary. I
Speaker 1: almost want to have a kid just so they can
Speaker 1: listen to it. Well, I I, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: I I was faced recently with the first possible repercussions
Speaker 1: of my family having to deal with the fact that
Speaker 1: I calls it's weird. I'll tell you layter. But um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, this podcast has taken a lot of twists
Speaker 1: and turns that UM, I'm really proud of I didn't
Speaker 1: see coming. And I'm we give here a lot of
Speaker 1: ourselves to this podcast. And I listened to the episode
Speaker 1: that we released last week. We recorded that February ninth,
Speaker 1: and we released it recently, and uh, because I got
Speaker 1: a lot of messages about it, about this therapy session,
Speaker 1: and I listened back to and I was like, oh, dude,
Speaker 1: I remember, and I said vaguely, but I got real
Speaker 1: that was like my innermost thoughts. And I was on
Speaker 1: my couch crying, listening to me talking about crying, and um,
Speaker 1: but we give a lot of ourselves on this podcast
Speaker 1: and um, and I'm really excited for the direction that
Speaker 1: it's going. And I'm really fucking excited to be joining
Speaker 1: Luminary because Matt has is a visionary when it comes
Speaker 1: to podcasts, he fucking gets it. And I'm very proud
Speaker 1: of of where we're headed and we are amongst some
Speaker 1: heavy fucking hitters, and UM, yeah, we'll have more info soon.
Speaker 1: But there's a custom link that's on all of our
Speaker 1: social media right now, and it's going to be in
Speaker 1: the description of this episode that you're listening to right now,
Speaker 1: this is what you click to find more information into
Speaker 1: Subscribe early. Just subscribe early and uh, we'll have more
Speaker 1: information as it comes out. But um yeah, because like
Speaker 1: we want to give you know, first chance and like
Speaker 1: special opportunity, uh to the guys we fucked audience. And
Speaker 1: of course, uh, you know, you have a couple of months.
Speaker 1: But the sooner you do it, you know, the better,
Speaker 1: the better things will be for everyone. It's really it's
Speaker 1: really exciting, and it's exciting especially as like women who
Speaker 1: walked into this space completely unknown. Um. It gave us
Speaker 1: the ability to create our own are truly our own business. Um,
Speaker 1: and that's something that I'm really proud. I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of us. And oh and a lot of people have
Speaker 1: been asking can I it is gonna be on the
Speaker 1: body right now, nothing's changing. We just want to tell
Speaker 1: you about Luminary and click this link giving your heads up.
Speaker 1: There are changes that I mean they we've kind of
Speaker 1: hinted at this before, but we legally couldn't say anything
Speaker 1: before today. Um, and uh yeah, it's it's good things then, uh,
Speaker 1: hopefully and totally the future of podcasting and we can
Speaker 1: do more, and we're going to also have like a
Speaker 1: higher production We're gonna have they like they have a
Speaker 1: production budget, so we can like fly people out here
Speaker 1: or fly to places to interview guests. We have an
Speaker 1: associate producer now, like we have names on our list
Speaker 1: of people we want to interview that I never even
Speaker 1: dreamed I would even be able to like connect with it.
Speaker 1: I'm so fucking excited you guys for what's in store
Speaker 1: for guys. We fucked in for Luminary, So keep keep
Speaker 1: an eye out. Click that link, subscribe. It's going to
Speaker 1: be big ship in store. Um hey question. Yes, I
Speaker 1: was wondering when this question was coming. You said you
Speaker 1: had a question. So my birthday party happened. We haven't
Speaker 1: seen each other in a while. Wait, don't if you're
Speaker 1: I know what you're gonna ask. I think I want
Speaker 1: to talk about this on the next step part of
Speaker 1: my that's part of my I know what you're stay done,
Speaker 1: done done, And that a cliffhanger for you motherfuckers. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, well let's talk about that in the next episode. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to listen, all right, This episode of guys,
Speaker 1: we fux. This is a long one, but we're really
Speaker 1: proud of it. We had a lot of UM listeners
Speaker 1: come up and ask us questions in person, so we're
Speaker 1: not gonna read emails. Um. This episode was recorded live
Speaker 1: at the Listen Up Festival in Portland, Oregon. We sold
Speaker 1: out an eight hundred seat theater and it was fucking dope.
Speaker 1: Shout out to everybody in that festival. That was an
Speaker 1: amazing Yeah, that was experience. Really fine. Room was sick
Speaker 1: our guest on today's episode. She's an activist, she's a mother,
Speaker 1: she's a stripper, she's a writer, she's a human being.
Speaker 1: God damn it. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome l Sanger.
Speaker 1: Well bro, because I couldn't tell I didn't she like
Speaker 1: talk gang putting yourself to hell, living on saying I
Speaker 1: just want never doing that, olpen since you do an
Speaker 1: empty room, but you don't you know what, don't you
Speaker 1: coming on to the stage. We've got Grit Fisher. If
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's God, Yeah, part you felling you Wow,
Speaker 1: look at that mereful crab. Hey dude, we're happy to
Speaker 1: be here. Thanks for coming out. This is fine. Mamma
Speaker 1: wear heels tonight. I never wear heels. You wear hears
Speaker 1: a lot. You're gonna cry. Don't cry. Don't cry unless
Speaker 1: Jeff didn't text you back. Then cry. Jeff can suck
Speaker 1: a dick. Never text back. Sucking Dick's fun um sucking it.
Speaker 1: Come so party um, Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. I love
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, saying or not. I think it's fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just like to keep it real low key on
Speaker 1: Valentine's I'm just like, I look like Peggy Bundy, but
Speaker 1: did also like a stoner who like this is a
Speaker 1: size small sweater because they're like it's supposed to fit big.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well you've achieved what you're doing, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's very Mary kaytleson of you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. I mean, I'm just like I'm
Speaker 1: melting into my own body. I'm so thin. I like
Speaker 1: we all we both were dolls killed because I think
Speaker 1: that's the appropriate Holly holiday. Uh where oops, I did
Speaker 1: it again? Pants? So the only time I wore these
Speaker 1: in public? It's nice nice, right, right? Because you told
Speaker 1: me that you had ripped a pair of pants, and
Speaker 1: I assumed it was those pants because I had been
Speaker 1: with you when you purchased them, and then a year
Speaker 1: had pass and I never saw that it was just
Speaker 1: regular pants. Crash, regular pants. Yeah. I just bent over
Speaker 1: her and I was like, okay, very Jessica Simpson. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's cool. The only one person got that because everyone
Speaker 1: else's like, I'm twenty two, I don't know I even
Speaker 1: know who that is, so sorry, Jessica Simpson is in
Speaker 1: the Toronto. It's a very basic name. It could really
Speaker 1: be anyone Jessica. And there's probably in Jessica Simpson here tonight,
Speaker 1: Like you know who's more talented? Okay, out? Can you
Speaker 1: handle it all? Your fucking lift drivers drive five miles
Speaker 1: per hour? You're lucky we made it. Yeah, what the funk? You? Odd? Why?
Speaker 1: And I feel like I'm on a podcast when a minute,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't need to know any more about
Speaker 1: my life. Okay, sucking asking all these questions. What are
Speaker 1: you doing that's not safe? Wait? What was he asking you?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just try to always keep it
Speaker 1: vague so that like what I do seems really scandalous.
Speaker 1: Like I'll never say I'm a comedian. I'll just be
Speaker 1: like entertainment business. Yeah, but then they're going to ask questions.
Speaker 1: Oh no, not with my attitude. They don't see. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. I have a no follow up energy. We're
Speaker 1: hard when we're going to the airport in the morning,
Speaker 1: and I don't talk to anybody does the talking because
Speaker 1: I make it very clear that if I opened my
Speaker 1: mouth is not going to be a nice thing. I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah when whenever it involves like law enforcement or government workers,
Speaker 1: I'm very pleasant because I don't want to be arrested,
Speaker 1: especially not for the first time in an airport, because
Speaker 1: it's not going to go well. Um, So I had
Speaker 1: a first last night. Actually, how can how convenient? So
Speaker 1: I was I knew, I like I knew this recording
Speaker 1: was happening, and I was going to try poppers for
Speaker 1: the first time. I the guy sold them to me
Speaker 1: at a sex store, and I like, the best kind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they sold them to me in l A at a
Speaker 1: sex I don't know what the best kind is. That
Speaker 1: your head feels like it's being stuffed with helia. I
Speaker 1: remember you saying that, and I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then I looked at research because I'm not going
Speaker 1: to try and drug unless I researched the ship out
Speaker 1: of it, and it was a lot of scary things
Speaker 1: out there about pop so I didn't do that. But
Speaker 1: h I had sex with this person that I'm like
Speaker 1: in love with and and call we did like a
Speaker 1: daddy thing, like I called him daddy. I've never called
Speaker 1: anybody daddy in bed ever, because I never dated anybody
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I want to call you daddy. I
Speaker 1: don't want him. I was working at thirty eight year
Speaker 1: old and I'm thirty three and I called him daddy.
Speaker 1: I mean, like you could be you could have a
Speaker 1: December birthday, my birthday. Sincember, you're getting called daddy, but
Speaker 1: I don't care for me. You're gonna a daddy vibe,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It just feels like can
Speaker 1: you get in trouble with this person? And usually can
Speaker 1: with anyone? Well, yeah, he just he looks like a dad,
Speaker 1: like a daddy like he does. It was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: only what I mean, we know who we're talking about,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to confirm hard on like like dad pants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh yeah, give me that fucking has
Speaker 1: like really hairy arms. I love it. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's that's more of an ethnic thing than a
Speaker 1: dad thing. Well, I like, if you have an Asian
Speaker 1: dad that doesn't sit. Oh, yeah, that's true. This guy
Speaker 1: is like Harry daddy arms. I don't know, Like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, it was dope. And I tell I'm like,
Speaker 1: this person and I have the best sex I think
Speaker 1: I've ever had in my life. It's really But I
Speaker 1: was also thinking, don't you feel like along the way,
Speaker 1: like just because I was trying to think the same thing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I think every sex I
Speaker 1: have after the previous sex is the best sex. And
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe it is getting better at sex.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm definitely getting way better at sex. However
Speaker 1: than that contributes to it. But this person and I,
Speaker 1: when we started having sex, it was great, it was
Speaker 1: always good. But the more we have sex, we have
Speaker 1: like the I call it like that don't want to
Speaker 1: miss a thing as because it's like I don't want
Speaker 1: to close my eyes or fall asleep. I want to
Speaker 1: stare at him because I'm like, the more we sleep,
Speaker 1: the less time we have to talk and look at
Speaker 1: each other and like, yeah, it's it's it's where you've
Speaker 1: lost me. And like I we went to out to
Speaker 1: eat multiple times this past week and we sat on
Speaker 1: the same side of the boot. What what You're very sweet,
Speaker 1: she tells me backstage. First of all, she's like, I've
Speaker 1: groundbreaking stuff I'm gonna tell you on stage, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: blow this. Today's the day Christina Hutchinson put a turtle
Speaker 1: in her asshole and then tell me that you've called
Speaker 1: someone daddy and then went to the Apple was a
Speaker 1: diner and it was a diner. But we like and
Speaker 1: have price apps after nine. But I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't really know. I guess I don't feel
Speaker 1: any one way about p d A. But I feel
Speaker 1: like when I'm dating somebody, you tell me it's you've
Speaker 1: been around me. When I'm dating somebody at the beginning,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm very like fingers up there butt,
Speaker 1: just like in public, like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: He d yeah, you know, I don't think it's like sexual.
Speaker 1: I think it's more like loved, like loving, adoring with
Speaker 1: this romania, perhapsmania with this person. It's just like when
Speaker 1: we interviewed Justin Silver and he's like, you know, when
Speaker 1: you're so attracted to somebody that you feel like they're
Speaker 1: written on the cells of your body. That's what I
Speaker 1: feel like that. But that line, I was like, he
Speaker 1: read that in ahead of time because he was trying
Speaker 1: to get foxed. Whenever I use it, it works. And
Speaker 1: I I bought a prostates simulator at the sex store
Speaker 1: where I also got the poppers that I did, not abusing.
Speaker 1: You already had a prostate sim I did, but not
Speaker 1: with me in l A. Oh and that one was used.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah that was he took that. That's for you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's that's a tarnash one. Yeah, oh my,
Speaker 1: that'd be funny if I just had like a drawer
Speaker 1: piece spot simulators for my exes. Yeah, that's like a
Speaker 1: fun little token. Maybe I'm not as an exhibit underglass.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true. Actually it's a good point fun. But
Speaker 1: I bought one at this It was a gay It
Speaker 1: was mainly like a gay so like for men, gay men,
Speaker 1: and um, that's why they have a caseful of poppers.
Speaker 1: And so all their peace spots simulators were big, like
Speaker 1: the narrows is like a pink, truly a pinky. This
Speaker 1: was like half a risk, you know, so I and
Speaker 1: I asked him. I was like, okay, I bought I
Speaker 1: bought one, and I really want to use it on you,
Speaker 1: but it's kind of big, and he's like I'll do whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you're so sexy, and and I was
Speaker 1: telling it like I put it in and I remember
Speaker 1: when I did this with Stephen. I was so scared.
Speaker 1: I was like, you put it in, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: want to. I didn't want to put it in because
Speaker 1: I do not know what was gonna come out or
Speaker 1: it wasn't that. I just felt really uncomfortable. But with
Speaker 1: I was like I told him, I was like, I
Speaker 1: feel like that I have the key to your body.
Speaker 1: Like I touched him. I touched him exactly the right way,
Speaker 1: and vice versa, Like, yeah, I feel like I I
Speaker 1: suck things off your asshole in a previous life, you know,
Speaker 1: very connect, That's what it felt like. Yeah, it's very
Speaker 1: like that. I'm like, I feel like we've been here before.
Speaker 1: We definitely haven't. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like I want
Speaker 1: to walk around with his dick inside me all the time.
Speaker 1: That's how okay, Like I want to seen his in
Speaker 1: me like now, but like a mold of it. Oh
Speaker 1: so not the real because he'd be here and it
Speaker 1: would get Yeah, I see, then you'd have a show
Speaker 1: on t LC. Okay, Um, shit, well we've tried a
Speaker 1: lot and nothing's worth so worse than that. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: what we're looking for, interesting living inside you. That's pretty funny,
Speaker 1: that's very I'm good. Um, not to brag, but I
Speaker 1: have already had sex today, so like it's so fun Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean Valentine's Day. You know, Listen, there's a few
Speaker 1: things I love more in life than complaining. It's my
Speaker 1: life flood. It's my last wish. If someone said what
Speaker 1: if I was on death row and I had a
Speaker 1: last meal, I was like, just give me someone to
Speaker 1: complain to. That nourishes my soul more than any thing.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I um, yeah, I just I hate complaining
Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day, Like unless unless you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, wife, her husband just got hit by a bus,
Speaker 1: like February thirteenth. Well, I don't want to be I'm
Speaker 1: trying to be less cold hearted, so I just you know,
Speaker 1: I did include that in the Instagram caption that I
Speaker 1: seriously wrote this morning on the airplane. Um, but I
Speaker 1: thank you for the one person who read that. Uh
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, And I just hate complaining on Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day because it like you do, you don't need to
Speaker 1: make a big thing about it, like if someone's enjoying it, great,
Speaker 1: but you don't need like like I remember in school,
Speaker 1: people will be like crying in home room why and
Speaker 1: like putting things in their own locker, which I mean
Speaker 1: I'm a advocate of that. Well, yeah, be your own Valentine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it, not even be your own Valentine, just
Speaker 1: like be your own fucking publicist. Like no one wants
Speaker 1: to know. No one doesn't want your pussy. What are
Speaker 1: we doing here? You want to your fucking self smart,
Speaker 1: because that's what it is. It's a publicity problem. Like
Speaker 1: did you see my mom texting? My mom texted me,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's always very important with Diane, and
Speaker 1: she said, did you see what Kanye give Kardashi had
Speaker 1: Prevalentite's Day? And I said, no, Mom, I'm actually working tonight,
Speaker 1: So I I failed to see that. Um, and don't worry.
Speaker 1: She had the link ready, so she sends me. She
Speaker 1: sends me a Huffo article because that's where I get
Speaker 1: all my most serious news. And it was so Kanye
Speaker 1: hired Kenny G. Which already we're so off brand for
Speaker 1: Kardashian or Kanye, you know, it's like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: like we wonder why they're so famous, but they keep
Speaker 1: surprising us. So I'm on board. And so she wanted
Speaker 1: her living room. And also for how rich they are,
Speaker 1: they don't have anything on their walls. It's just it
Speaker 1: looks like a like a psychiatric war. It's pure white
Speaker 1: and like we see how big it is, but not
Speaker 1: not an art piece, not of couch, not because they're
Speaker 1: their own art. Their conversation is the art. Yes, he's
Speaker 1: just standing in the living room playing uh, Somewhere over
Speaker 1: the Rainbow, which if there's one song that does not
Speaker 1: make me horny, it's that there's so many things like
Speaker 1: Dorothy's sixteen in the movie, she like is fucking hitting
Speaker 1: her head. She goes, she's she's like having she has
Speaker 1: like a concussion throughout the movie. And then were some
Speaker 1: kind of LSD universe and I don't understand, but whatever,
Speaker 1: And so he's playing Somewhere over the Rainbow and then
Speaker 1: there's just roses covering the ground, but each one is
Speaker 1: in its own vase. Because I guess they're like, how
Speaker 1: can we be least eco friendly as possible? That's always
Speaker 1: their goal, And I just say it opened up more
Speaker 1: questions for me about their relationship. Likes Kanye friends with
Speaker 1: Kenny g Is Kenn easy harder than we thought he was?
Speaker 1: And I think, yes, you know some sketches, yeah, because
Speaker 1: I think I think, like you know, Soup Dog had
Speaker 1: a soft side, Martha Stewart had a harder side, and
Speaker 1: I think we just don't know about these things. So anyway,
Speaker 1: that happened. But yeah, and I had a lot of
Speaker 1: sex last night with I mean again, you guys, don't
Speaker 1: I don't know, guys, if you're following like the corn Guy,
Speaker 1: but I can't call him that anymore because it started
Speaker 1: as a hashtag and then I screw screen little corn
Speaker 1: guy guy. And then it's very sweet because our listeners
Speaker 1: are so young that someone wrote me a little card
Speaker 1: after our show and she said, I hope things worked
Speaker 1: out with the corn Guy, but she spelled it like
Speaker 1: the Cobs, and that really took kind of the edge
Speaker 1: out of what I was going to think. She thinks
Speaker 1: that he like sells corn, I'm not. I just think
Speaker 1: she has no idea what the funk I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: And she was like, let this geriatric woman have her sick,
Speaker 1: put on your nurse shoes and go. She's like, TikTok.
Speaker 1: She can barely reproduce anny longer, but let her have
Speaker 1: this moment. Yeah, you know, so it's the sex that
Speaker 1: you have with them, not the corn guy um, but
Speaker 1: the corn guy um PM professional. I just didn't know
Speaker 1: if everyone was caught up, but professional musician pleas the
Speaker 1: best sex you've ever had. Yeah, but we're gonna have
Speaker 1: to edit this because he listens to it because he's
Speaker 1: a nice person, so I don't want him to get
Speaker 1: too fucking cocky about Okay, it's like, you already played
Speaker 1: for corn, what more do you need? SAP And I
Speaker 1: never knew like the song Freak on a Leash could
Speaker 1: make me horny, but now it's that's part of my
Speaker 1: I have three different kinds of sex playlists. I have
Speaker 1: falling in love playlists. I have like like cute playlist,
Speaker 1: like cute, like really intense intense sex playlist. One that's
Speaker 1: that's called fucking and it has corn on it and
Speaker 1: freaking clish is on it. I don't, I just I
Speaker 1: only have one and it's like called like hot boys
Speaker 1: or something, and I found it and I made fun
Speaker 1: of the person who made it because I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that person was me. I subscribed to a it was yeah,
Speaker 1: like I spell it with a Z like b o
Speaker 1: y z I would, And I was like, what clear
Speaker 1: shopping bimbo made this list? And then it was sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: because it was just a lot of like Maryland Man's
Speaker 1: just you know, Marilyn Manson nine inch nails kind of
Speaker 1: just really getting me. Nine inch nails is on my Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's that. And well because it was I hadn't
Speaker 1: had sex last time we spoke about PM with him,
Speaker 1: because I didn't really actually didn't even know if we
Speaker 1: were friends or if he just needed something or I
Speaker 1: wasn't sure about it. I don't Yeah, yeah apparently, And
Speaker 1: I reminded myself what I always tell you, like, no
Speaker 1: adult man wants to be your friends, which again remember that,
Speaker 1: And I think it's like really happy Valentine's Day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because even I mean, this is gonna get weird. But
Speaker 1: did you watch the documentary Abducted in Plain Sight? No? Yeah,
Speaker 1: where are we going this? Though? I don't want to
Speaker 1: ruin it? For you, but I feel like it's about
Speaker 1: people abducted, and well, sometimes I asked a lot of
Speaker 1: questions about myself based on the types of media people
Speaker 1: recommend to me. You know, it's like a mirror. And
Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, you think I would just like
Speaker 1: to sit at home and watch ninety minutes of a
Speaker 1: story where a guy, uh you know, engages in pedophilia
Speaker 1: and then fox both the parents. Sorry spoiler, um yo,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but the world is sucked up rearing box
Speaker 1: for one day and you will walk around with your
Speaker 1: mouth just gaping open, like up it was edgy and
Speaker 1: um yeah. And so someone I don't even know where
Speaker 1: I'm going with this, but we somehow watched that. I
Speaker 1: don't it wasn't for play, but watched it with the PM. Well,
Speaker 1: because you know, I need I need someone who can
Speaker 1: handle just handle, like handle the worst ship, you know, right,
Speaker 1: and he's had traumas, so we're in the clear and
Speaker 1: that's why got good sex. Yeah, and well I just
Speaker 1: motherfucker's I just knew this same everyone. Ha. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's either going to be like violent to the point
Speaker 1: where I need to call the cops, or just right,
Speaker 1: you know, like Goldps and the Three Bears, the Last Bed,
Speaker 1: the bed. This man hits too hard. This man HiT's
Speaker 1: too smar this man it's just right. Yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: you know right away like oh man, and when they
Speaker 1: hit just right, you're like, I want to marry you.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And then he called me
Speaker 1: the Van Halen of sucking dick and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: we're married now, so like probably knows Van Haley. You know,
Speaker 1: it's I don't know this part out so he doesn't
Speaker 1: think I'm not clear you and I working to suck
Speaker 1: a dick because I gotta say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I mean and I said, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't really like doing this, but you're a v
Speaker 1: I P. I said, lady is the terminology. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: just let him know. And then he made fun of
Speaker 1: me later, but that's what that's where I were bonded.
Speaker 1: So it's all good. And wow, I'm so happy for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I'm happy for me as well. Thank you. There's
Speaker 1: just so many tattoos, like count them. To fall asleep
Speaker 1: at day, it's a fucking dream, you know. You wake
Speaker 1: up and you're just like this is the sleeve I've
Speaker 1: wanted to see my whole life finally right here beside me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. Go girl. Okay, So usually
Speaker 1: typically at the podcast, at the intro part, we we
Speaker 1: read an email or two from somebody who needs advice.
Speaker 1: But we figured, since you guys are here, we can
Speaker 1: give you advice to your fucking face. Now. Since it's
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, I'm assuming there's some single people here because statistically, yeah,
Speaker 1: see that sounds great. Um, you sounds super energetic, are there.
Speaker 1: This is a segment that we do in our new
Speaker 1: Live Tory Show, and I feel like it's appropriate because
Speaker 1: it's Valentine's Day? Is there anybody in here who's single,
Speaker 1: who is on a dating app up? And it feels
Speaker 1: like they're hitting a wall, like they're meaning the same
Speaker 1: kind of person or something. They're just not being understood. Um,
Speaker 1: if you want to come on stage, we'll pick one
Speaker 1: of you. Bring your phone and we'll we'll we'll analyze
Speaker 1: your dating at profile in front of everybody here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like make sure you have service before you come
Speaker 1: up here, because time is money. You pick, you're gonna picking.
Speaker 1: I can be I can only see the front row,
Speaker 1: so you see there's a listen in the middle that
Speaker 1: like just it's fervent, like just raising their hands as
Speaker 1: if they're trying to touch the sky and just I
Speaker 1: mean like we're gonna roast you. Like this is not
Speaker 1: going to go in your favor, So be comfortable with that. Okay,
Speaker 1: life stuff, right man, I'm not going to watch that
Speaker 1: documentary now. Yeah. Well, I mean I ruined it for you.
Speaker 1: But the parents, I mean this terrible because someone said
Speaker 1: that to me as the selling point for it. That
Speaker 1: was like they're like, yeah, if the kid and the parents,
Speaker 1: and you're like what, But it even gets weirder than that,
Speaker 1: to the point where you're like, this is worth investing time.
Speaker 1: And I just can't believe they got people to say
Speaker 1: it on camera. I can't even Hi, have a seat
Speaker 1: right here. Tell us your name? Yeah, Nicole, Nicole, I
Speaker 1: guess it's Nicole hid Nicol. Did you bring like a
Speaker 1: posse here with you or yeah? I'm actually third wheeling tonight,
Speaker 1: so you're with my sister and her boyfriend. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, it's not gonna turn it through a three
Speaker 1: way it's a documentary. Yeah, yeah, if you want to
Speaker 1: be on Netflix. Uh, next one way, So, okay, how
Speaker 1: old are you? I'm twenty three. And if you had
Speaker 1: to describe yourself like say you were on the Bachelor, um,
Speaker 1: but say you were like and you have to pitch
Speaker 1: yourself as like how you are as like a partner
Speaker 1: or somebody to date, what would you say? Well, I
Speaker 1: just moved back from Spain, so traveler. Oh, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh cool. I was like, je's all right, rub it
Speaker 1: ince someone has a passport. I was living abroad for
Speaker 1: six months. I was teaching English, and I'm impressed, Nicole.
Speaker 1: This is like when I swide no on people if
Speaker 1: they're just standing amongst like a bunch of like children
Speaker 1: in Africa, You're like, okay, you're being disgusting. Now that's
Speaker 1: different though, So that was See there's some people who
Speaker 1: are great. So okay, and what about like who you
Speaker 1: are as a person? Um? Well, I was sam friendly
Speaker 1: fly pretty friendly. Oh. I didn't even I thought that
Speaker 1: was a word. I didn't understand. I was like, it's
Speaker 1: discardi b say that. I'm real fucking old, okay, go on,
Speaker 1: I didn't we wait wait side note. I didn't know
Speaker 1: s d a wass. I thought I thought it was
Speaker 1: another artist named like zong Yah shoes back on. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, let's say Marla. Okay, go ahead, go
Speaker 1: Aheaday your friend like, I'm friendly, I'm from Portland's yeah,
Speaker 1: I am looking um for just kind of a pretty
Speaker 1: casual thing right now. Casual okay, because sucking yeah, but
Speaker 1: with like a connection do you want you know? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to somebody hate or not? Some people can Yeah,
Speaker 1: what can you fuck somebody you don't like? Like, sometimes
Speaker 1: people like having sex with people they don't like, and
Speaker 1: that's look at them all I did before it. But
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like hate fucking could beat
Speaker 1: up my hound. The words you said and the way
Speaker 1: you said them already are opposite. Friend, You're like, I
Speaker 1: feel like I could probably hate somebody I don't know.
Speaker 1: Just give me a pretty wary So you're wearing like
Speaker 1: a romper and a fashion scarf, and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: needs to fun. They hate and like things just socks
Speaker 1: very okay, you need a fucking country job. Um, you're yeah,
Speaker 1: can I see your dating profile? Yeah? Here you go,
Speaker 1: So what app is this? Okay? And she's good? Okay, okay, okay, god, okay,
Speaker 1: just you make sure of the winds blowing in your hair. Okay,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, okay, don't Okay, so Hinge, if you don't know,
Speaker 1: has a couple of prompts that you can answer, which
Speaker 1: I actually really like, and they like lead you in
Speaker 1: and then you fill in the blanks. So this first problem, nicolas, um,
Speaker 1: don't hate me if I make a few bad puns.
Speaker 1: I hope that appeals to you. And she's spelled a
Speaker 1: pe l s and put a banana mo j g all. No,
Speaker 1: that's party, it's crazy party first Spain. That's cool. Well,
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna be able to find a hate
Speaker 1: funk pretty easily, and I think you like it. Actually,
Speaker 1: I need to switched to diet cope before I get mean. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a picture of you rock climbing. That's fun. It
Speaker 1: was a very dangerous hike. A dangerous hike, yeah, the
Speaker 1: most in the world really as not as if you're
Speaker 1: being hugged by your mother fresh out alone. Well, I
Speaker 1: was with my sisters. Okay, okay, Well you really can't
Speaker 1: know what Yeah, that's good. I guess I don't have
Speaker 1: a sister, so I don't know. Okay, you want to
Speaker 1: clip you with friends laughing wonderful to truths and a lie. One,
Speaker 1: I've had hiccups for the past four years. Two I
Speaker 1: don't have an Instagram account. Three I completed a professional
Speaker 1: eating competition. I don't know what the truth is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hates that question because it never gets any clarification
Speaker 1: why I haven't I haven't done an eating competition. So wait,
Speaker 1: you have hiccups for the past year. Don't have them now? Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like a few every day. Do we just
Speaker 1: or your hiccups for the past four years. That would
Speaker 1: be amazing. And it's a few hiccups every day. But
Speaker 1: I probably should go to the doctor at some point.
Speaker 1: You haven't gone yet, thank you. You can put that.
Speaker 1: I don't really seek medical life seeking a doctor. Well,
Speaker 1: because my mom used to be a real estate agent
Speaker 1: and she sold a house to a woman who literally
Speaker 1: had hiccups straight for years, And I was like, that
Speaker 1: seems like one of the worst like punishments from the
Speaker 1: universe that I can think with the hiccups anything, especially
Speaker 1: when the first place I'm going, yeah, you don't go
Speaker 1: to a movie, no one likes you. You can't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh that's rough. Ico Okay, And then the final prompt you.
Speaker 1: That is the way to win me over is bringing
Speaker 1: me coffee any time anywhere. I'm not addicted. Dot dot dot,
Speaker 1: I could stop anytime I want coffee emoji and then
Speaker 1: this emoji. And then there's a photo of you blowing glass.
Speaker 1: I didn't know where that was going. Copper fish. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're making a puffer what there's an Asian man
Speaker 1: in the background. She's making a puffer fish space like
Speaker 1: like she's filling her face with air and the guys
Speaker 1: looking at her, like, is that the wish she sucks
Speaker 1: a dick? What's the purpose of that? What's the purpose
Speaker 1: of the photo mimicking the fish? I was in the
Speaker 1: fish market and the guy that'sppropriating a fish? I see. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: I've done ship for that. Yeah, okay, So you know
Speaker 1: what's like the most fun thing you've ever done? Um,
Speaker 1: like you gets spice this up a little, the funnest
Speaker 1: thing ever and I feel like, well fucked up thing
Speaker 1: anal Okay, I wouldn't put down a dating but like,
Speaker 1: you know, just okay, moving in space. He's just trying
Speaker 1: to say, is it just seems a little boring if
Speaker 1: you're trying to get railed, right, Yeah, maybe I need
Speaker 1: to spice things up a little bit more. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you have this vibe that you're like, yeah, you like
Speaker 1: seem like a really sweet person. You have like people
Speaker 1: flowey hair, but like you gott fucking free give you.
Speaker 1: Maybe this is more of like I want to meet
Speaker 1: your parents during the holidays. That's the kind of guy
Speaker 1: that comes after me. Yeah, like vibe on the on
Speaker 1: the be more arrogant, and it's she's like I've been said, boucocky,
Speaker 1: I volunteered. Their wants really underserved. Yeah, these are like
Speaker 1: catalog shops that you're laughing outdoors, like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like that doesn't say like I want to
Speaker 1: put my dick in her mouth, you know, like you
Speaker 1: want to have casual sex and see if you want
Speaker 1: have casual sex with somebody, something casual and you wanted
Speaker 1: to be good. I was assuming right, like you want
Speaker 1: like good sex. Yeah. Um, then I would say, and
Speaker 1: you'd not pull a little Can you pass this to
Speaker 1: Corin and to look at the photos? They're very sweet
Speaker 1: and beautiful photos. But to me, I'm like that girl
Speaker 1: wants to me, she wants my seed, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like the way to won me over is
Speaker 1: what would do my face? No? Um, I wouldn't say that,
Speaker 1: like good Yeah, okay, so first photo thumbs up, super accurate.
Speaker 1: Looks like you we can tell you're in a place
Speaker 1: that you know makes you look better than others. So
Speaker 1: I like it. It's like there's you know, like it's
Speaker 1: just like she's not saying it's not America, but we
Speaker 1: know it's not you know, says it was probably Oh okay,
Speaker 1: the many countries have you been to? Um? Is that
Speaker 1: serious question? Yeah? Yeah, I just asked it like an asshole.
Speaker 1: It is a serious question. Wow, Okay, that's Joe. That's
Speaker 1: so cool. Yeah, but that's like I've been more countries
Speaker 1: than eating or something. Yeah, or then you know, maybe
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like that's cocky though, like that's
Speaker 1: like it's the truth, though it's not. It's I mean,
Speaker 1: like you travel a lot. I think it's cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like have you ever been you know, getting fun
Speaker 1: dogg he style and someone's been like have you ever
Speaker 1: been to you know, like in the middle of it,
Speaker 1: it's not like we have that conversation, right, So the
Speaker 1: bad punts thing that needs to go because no matter
Speaker 1: what you're looking for that's bad um. And and also
Speaker 1: like it kind of like you forced you force the punt.
Speaker 1: You know, it's not like it's weird um because you
Speaker 1: just inserted the banana yourself, like the beginning the pun
Speaker 1: didn't have to do with the the question and the
Speaker 1: reason why I'm taken back by is you're not corny,
Speaker 1: and like, I don't think you're a corny chick, like
Speaker 1: if upon first impression of you, So that does a
Speaker 1: disservice to your personality because you have like a really
Speaker 1: beautiful smile. You feel like you like you seem like
Speaker 1: you got a net a freak in you. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be that's just the vibe I'm getting and that's definitely
Speaker 1: not the that's not the vibe I get on them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Mountain one is great if you're looking for a husband,
Speaker 1: but not no one needs to see that if you're
Speaker 1: trying to fuck. Uh. This next one is great with
Speaker 1: the leg and stuff. And also I mean, like, will
Speaker 1: you only fun other liberals because there's no like, you
Speaker 1: don't need to you don't need to put your politics
Speaker 1: here if you're just trying to get calm in around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess so speel like a Trump supquarter might not
Speaker 1: be like, but if you want to hate fuck that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe go that route. I'm just not I just you know,
Speaker 1: I just know what's going on, and I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of you know, like a lot of people
Speaker 1: with that shaved side of the head, girl think funk
Speaker 1: people who voted for Trump, and it seems to be
Speaker 1: pretty electric. Um, this next one with all your with
Speaker 1: all your gal pals is like, I have a hard role. Like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna take a photo with others, Um, you
Speaker 1: get the hottest, you have to be the hottest one.
Speaker 1: I'm not the hottest one. I mean it's a lot
Speaker 1: of you are all good looking people like I mean
Speaker 1: the glare of friends didn't take a photo with them
Speaker 1: and then put that up on Yeah, well someone who's
Speaker 1: just been through like the movie Saw and is dragging
Speaker 1: their left leg behind them. Like that's how different it needs.
Speaker 1: We need to clearly know who you are and who
Speaker 1: you're hanging out with, because these is just like three
Speaker 1: white chicks with v nexs and like those little basketball
Speaker 1: shorts like Trotter is and you're like life is funny.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, and then well and then I mean like
Speaker 1: you have to thing do right, things that like make you,
Speaker 1: like make people horny, like I think for you not
Speaker 1: not you know, full on cum dumpster stuff like me
Speaker 1: and Christina. But it's like, what's like, what's something that
Speaker 1: you like to do sexually on the first date or
Speaker 1: in the first meeting. I don't know. I guess I
Speaker 1: haven't really had like a one night stand. Oh, I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, like even right back, just like something you know,
Speaker 1: like I think there's like a prompt that says like
Speaker 1: something you don't know about me or whatever, like I've
Speaker 1: never had a one night stand, right, Yeah, well you're not.
Speaker 1: It's not so desperate. What you can put whatever the
Speaker 1: complete thought that you have that you want to put in,
Speaker 1: just cut it in half and then put the half
Speaker 1: first half. Yeah. I think we're trying to elude as
Speaker 1: a little mystery. Yeah, a little mimsy. Yeah, like don't
Speaker 1: complete the pun the emojis at the pun. It's like
Speaker 1: I get it, you know what I mean, Like you
Speaker 1: don't write limb or you just impride that you're a
Speaker 1: horror Yeah. Too much is almost enough for me, right,
Speaker 1: because you like Coco Chanelle has that rule where like
Speaker 1: before you go out, you look in the mirror and
Speaker 1: you take off one thing. Do that, but with the
Speaker 1: stuff that you say. So like write a sentence and
Speaker 1: then be like I've spoken too much and and go
Speaker 1: backwards one sentence the banana. That's great to think about
Speaker 1: these profiles. I think he nailed it. Um this one
Speaker 1: and whatever you're like fucking in a cave with the
Speaker 1: head's like you're like, she's like blanking in this one. Um,
Speaker 1: your tips look great, So keep that. Eric just liked you.
Speaker 1: If you're if you were wondering, Um, you can write it.
Speaker 1: And it's what I say. I mean, this blowfish one,
Speaker 1: I could see like it's the last one and I
Speaker 1: could see like a real kinkster getting into it. So
Speaker 1: and the braids are like kind of sexy. So I
Speaker 1: will keep that one too, but the words need to
Speaker 1: be changed to something more um sensual. Yeah, what we're exciting?
Speaker 1: What Eric like? Oh? Yeah, Eric liked something? So I
Speaker 1: wanted what did Eric like out of your photos? Eric
Speaker 1: is a skateboarder? Okay, what what how did he first
Speaker 1: contact you? He liked a photo or something you said?
Speaker 1: Because I like, you can like a specific thing on
Speaker 1: their program. He likes my splunking photos, the one with ya. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it's hits. Yeah, okay, we're so we're keeping the
Speaker 1: one that's the one that you're tittyboun So. Okay, he's
Speaker 1: a skate I mean at what age is Eric? He
Speaker 1: is thirty? Oh so thirty and his mode of transportation
Speaker 1: is skiboard. Hey, there's someone in hate book. Give it
Speaker 1: up right here, Avril Levine, vibe here. I feel like
Speaker 1: my sister is stating a guy named Eric, though, so
Speaker 1: I feel like that'd be a little weird. You still
Speaker 1: thinking about your sister with the fucking has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with one another. You're not gonna end up with
Speaker 1: this Eric, that's true skateboard? Did he thirty? That's anyway
Speaker 1: between you and I? Actually the dead girl open? What
Speaker 1: what you like? You're on a pad a car bou
Speaker 1: But I mean, if you guys want to help me out,
Speaker 1: write a write a message. Yeah, I just write so,
Speaker 1: do you have a d U I or one? Fun times?
Speaker 1: My angel is fantastic. It's just when you meet me
Speaker 1: at the problems. Oh gosh, I wrote something. Um, maybe
Speaker 1: it's just because I'm in the spirit, but I just wrote, Hi, daddy.
Speaker 1: I know. Thanks, thanks, I think, yeah, thank you. Okay, Hey,
Speaker 1: if that works out, you fucking let me know, because
Speaker 1: the difference is I would have written, Hey, daddy, can
Speaker 1: I get a ride to school? Got a room for
Speaker 1: two on that skateboard? Perhaps you got along board in
Speaker 1: your garage? Oh my gosh. Shall we bring out our guests? Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do it. What's can you say? Very very excited?
Speaker 1: Our guest? She is a podcast or she used a
Speaker 1: sex educator. She is a sex worker. She's a badass motherfucker. Hey,
Speaker 1: lady and Johnny, please give it up for else today.
Speaker 1: Thank Yeah. They hugged on late night when a guest
Speaker 1: comes out, So I'm like, feels fun. It feels fun. Okay.
Speaker 1: We were having a conversation here you I'll fluffy use
Speaker 1: my hair? Who found it? Oh no, this is Portland's
Speaker 1: we have humidity. Nobody has good hair here. It's fine
Speaker 1: shots fire a sense of humor. We're having a conversation
Speaker 1: back stage before he went for cred and I came
Speaker 1: out about dad. The word daddy. I heard that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I was about I was planning on talking to
Speaker 1: her about how I said daddy for the first time,
Speaker 1: and it was a big deal for me. But then
Speaker 1: you were we were talking about it in a context.
Speaker 1: I was like, with the R Kelly ship, right right right, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things going on here. How's
Speaker 1: my audio, by the way, good, it's good, it's sod's good. Okay.
Speaker 1: So people engage in daddy play, all kinds of play, consensually, safely, pleasurably.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, with R Kelly's track history. UM, I'm not
Speaker 1: thinking that's what's going on here. So if anybody's heard,
Speaker 1: there's a new video R Kelly forty five minutes and
Speaker 1: forty five seconds. I might have butchered that, but pretty close.
Speaker 1: So it's him having sex with a woman or a
Speaker 1: young lady who multiple times refers to her pussy as
Speaker 1: her fourteen year old pussy six times. Um. She also
Speaker 1: calls him daddy, and there's some peeing. I don't know
Speaker 1: who's doing the peeing, Okay, besides the my fourteen year
Speaker 1: old pussy. I've done those other things. I do those
Speaker 1: other things, like probably did those things last week. Good
Speaker 1: for you, thank you. Um. So the daddy thing, I
Speaker 1: am so excited that you get to engage this way.
Speaker 1: And you said you're really in love with this person, right,
Speaker 1: So that's probably why it feels comfortable for you. Trust
Speaker 1: I do have that. It does feel like. I mean,
Speaker 1: he is older than me and I'm younger, but not
Speaker 1: too much of an age difference, so um, but enough,
Speaker 1: like like enough that he feels I can pretend that
Speaker 1: he's way older than me. I don't pretend that I'm
Speaker 1: younger than know how old I actually am, but I
Speaker 1: feel like he is older than me. So the age
Speaker 1: difference is part of what makes it hot for me
Speaker 1: and I It's probably part of why I want to
Speaker 1: call him daddy. So I'm thirty two. I have sucked
Speaker 1: in a few different decades. The youngest person I've had
Speaker 1: sex with was nineteen when I was twenty, and the
Speaker 1: oldest was sixty when I was twenty six. That was
Speaker 1: for work, because I'm a sex worker. Hi. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: can I tell you so that was a few years
Speaker 1: ago when doing sex work was a bit easier. The
Speaker 1: government has criminalized it a bit more in the last year,
Speaker 1: specifically since the passage of two bills called FOSTA and
Speaker 1: SESTA in April of two thousand eighteen. Um, Amber Rose,
Speaker 1: fucking talk about this ship Okay, Cardi B is Cardi
Speaker 1: B is not even my favorite? Can you explain? Can
Speaker 1: you explain so for everybody? So Foston SESTA, sure, it's
Speaker 1: really complicated. Foston sstor were two bills that got bipartisan support.
Speaker 1: Because when you name a bill Fight Online Sex Trafficking
Speaker 1: Act and Stopped Enabling Sex Trafficking Act, who the hell
Speaker 1: wants sex trafficking? Not me? I do the work. I
Speaker 1: can't imagine having to do the work when I don't
Speaker 1: get to keep my own money, scream my own clients,
Speaker 1: or I'm getting like physically or sexually abused. Um. So
Speaker 1: these bills, what they did, basically, the very very short end,
Speaker 1: is it made it harder to discover who's actually doing
Speaker 1: the work consensually and is an adult um and who's not.
Speaker 1: Because what the bill did is hold liable media platforms
Speaker 1: that might advertise or transmit payment or any kind of
Speaker 1: communication of sex sexually relevant transactions, whether or not they're consensual.
Speaker 1: So if I post, if I wanted to post an
Speaker 1: ad on back page or even Instagram, this is where
Speaker 1: I work. This is where you can go on a
Speaker 1: date with me, This is where I can juggle. I
Speaker 1: don't know what sucking oranges for you? With my kids
Speaker 1: how like really have fun. I don't know how to juggle,
Speaker 1: but I can put my SIPs out. Um. That's the imporum.
Speaker 1: So these the oranges, the how long I can balance?
Speaker 1: See how long I cannot speak? Um? So you know
Speaker 1: what it's always like? Yeah, you do know when these
Speaker 1: bills passed, Um, what it did was make it a
Speaker 1: lot harder to figure out who was being trafficked and
Speaker 1: who's like me just trying to make a few books.
Speaker 1: And it's a shitty economy where, let's face it, feminine
Speaker 1: labor needs to be monetized when it can be. So
Speaker 1: the only two UM senators or representatives have voted against Foster,
Speaker 1: I believe I think it was senator It was two senators.
Speaker 1: It was Senator Ron Ron Whiten from Oregon. I emailed
Speaker 1: Jeff Merkley, the other one, and said why didn't you
Speaker 1: And then he wrote me back this email where I
Speaker 1: was like, you don't know what sex work is versus
Speaker 1: sex trafficking? Um. And the other person was Rand Paul
Speaker 1: who's a libertarian, so and you probably wouldn't know and everything.
Speaker 1: But the Department of Justice looked at these bills Boston Ancesta,
Speaker 1: and they said, you can't hold liable someone for transmitting
Speaker 1: something sexually relevant without further evidence. The justice system is
Speaker 1: very flawed. I got my bea in criminology from Portland
Speaker 1: State University a few years ago, and throughout that time
Speaker 1: because I used to think I wanted to do street
Speaker 1: level law enforcement, I was like, whoa, this is how
Speaker 1: you fight crime, right? Yeah? No, the good guys are
Speaker 1: not always the good guys. So when a sex worker
Speaker 1: is robbed, raped, or ripped off for anything else, she's
Speaker 1: not going to call the cops if her job is illegal.
Speaker 1: She's just not. And there's a bill that's being proposed
Speaker 1: in Oregon right now where if you are, if you
Speaker 1: are a person, a woman who has been convicted of
Speaker 1: sex work um of prostitution, you can get that conviction
Speaker 1: removed from your record. This is a bill that's up
Speaker 1: and this would be great because more people who have
Speaker 1: this on the record could get employment. So how the
Speaker 1: hell are people supposed to find legitimate, conventional employment when
Speaker 1: it's on their criminal record, or when you have people
Speaker 1: who don't know better and they think, well, let's just
Speaker 1: make all distroopers employees or let's just register all of
Speaker 1: the hookers. Please don't say hooker unless you're a full
Speaker 1: service sex worker. By the way, um what if you're
Speaker 1: a sassy gay man unless you sell sex, Please don't
Speaker 1: because we've contribute to oro phobia. But they do just
Speaker 1: checking because you know that kesh A cruise is coming up.
Speaker 1: Ye oh boy, I don't know. Um. So it's been
Speaker 1: a tough year to be a sex worker and it
Speaker 1: drives me absolutely bad shit. And I feel for people
Speaker 1: because I understand why this happens. But I saw a
Speaker 1: comment on Instagram today where the sweet twenty year old
Speaker 1: goth girl from butt Funck I don't know where country
Speaker 1: she posts a comment on some feminist account because I
Speaker 1: follow those, and she was like all sexual labors, exploitation
Speaker 1: of women. And I said, a homegirl, you are wearing
Speaker 1: clothes that was made and I bet you Taiwan and
Speaker 1: Bangladesh and the woman who made them got two dollars
Speaker 1: a day. Maybe yeah, anything, Look, because it's really hard
Speaker 1: to buy ethically. But when we're talking about trafficking, how
Speaker 1: often are we talking about agriculture trafficking? Who grew the
Speaker 1: food that we eat? Yeah? Well, people cherry pick what
Speaker 1: they want to give a shit about it, and a
Speaker 1: lot of times it has anything to do with sexuality.
Speaker 1: They're like, no, bad evil, It's like, what are you
Speaker 1: fucking afraid of? Right? It's it's it's really hard to
Speaker 1: buy ethically, but we do the best we can. I
Speaker 1: have people who say, how can I find an escort?
Speaker 1: How can I find someone who will give me the
Speaker 1: touch I haven't had in years? Or ever? How do
Speaker 1: I do this and make sure that they're not being trafficked?
Speaker 1: And I say, you know what, I'm having a harder
Speaker 1: time finding you those people because they're we don't have
Speaker 1: Backpage anymore. Backpage got rated two days or they were
Speaker 1: being prosecuted already. They were rated two days before Fast
Speaker 1: and Sets to pass. So in this case, the criminal
Speaker 1: justice system was working the way it's supposed to. Backpage
Speaker 1: was guilty of having ads on their website that featured miners,
Speaker 1: so people underage and people being trafficked. The problem is
Speaker 1: every website that's used for communication will feature miners on it.
Speaker 1: Some guy who's trying to hustle children on Fortnite a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, Oh my gosh, so do we
Speaker 1: ban Fortnite? Do we band schools? Do we ban? Okay? Well,
Speaker 1: and when you say they're featuring girls who are underage?
Speaker 1: Are these photos? And we're guessing are these people? Like? So,
Speaker 1: how do we know? I interviewed an Escort. Escort interviewed.
Speaker 1: I interviewed and Escort a couple of weeks ago. She's
Speaker 1: an episode thirty six of my podcast Strange Bedfellows. She's
Speaker 1: been doing sex work of varying degrees for a few decades.
Speaker 1: Daphne rose Um, and she said that when Foss sends
Speaker 1: us to past the ads that she before, you could
Speaker 1: kind of look at and and be like, this is
Speaker 1: a bot, or this is someone running these pages, this
Speaker 1: is an adult running these girls page just this is
Speaker 1: a pimp, she said, you could tell who's being trafficked,
Speaker 1: and you can tell who wasn't. And when Foston Sessa passed,
Speaker 1: those ads disappeared, but those victims didn't go away. It
Speaker 1: means that now the man who's managing all those girls
Speaker 1: meets other men, bar, party, gambling, whatever. It says, oh
Speaker 1: you want sex, So it's an underground up. It's always
Speaker 1: on an underground thing. Absolutely, And and the and the
Speaker 1: way these bills are proposed like in Congress and they're
Speaker 1: introduced at the House. A lot of this is this
Speaker 1: happens a lot. It happens with anything regulating a woman's body.
Speaker 1: I get abortion, where you'll will say that this bill
Speaker 1: is for this great cause that everyone of course is
Speaker 1: in supportive because we're not fucking monsters. But then deep
Speaker 1: within the bill, it's like if the if the blades
Speaker 1: of grass and the lawn of the abortion clinic are
Speaker 1: over two inches in length, and we have the right
Speaker 1: to shut it down, and it's like, how do we
Speaker 1: how do we fucking get these little details that are
Speaker 1: ruining the integrity of the actual bill. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like a fucking It's like a news headline. It's like
Speaker 1: you there's one hand line and then you read the
Speaker 1: article and you're like, this is a totally different things.
Speaker 1: It's misleading. Is there a way because you made in creminology.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they covered that. But we need
Speaker 1: to consult with the people that these bills impact, right right,
Speaker 1: they need to be her you know, they need to
Speaker 1: be like not town halls for fucking Howard Schultz. A
Speaker 1: few years ago, I was contacted by some lobbyists. I
Speaker 1: love your question, and they said, we hear that there's
Speaker 1: a lot of concerns in your industry, in the sex
Speaker 1: work industry. We want to help. It was a social
Speaker 1: Work UM lobbyist related firm. It was National Association of
Speaker 1: n A s W National Association of Social Work um
Speaker 1: PacWest Division. There we go and so they said, we
Speaker 1: want to help. And so I contacted as many people
Speaker 1: I could on like online forums back when they existed,
Speaker 1: UM come to this meeting. We came to a meeting.
Speaker 1: There's thirty forty live entertainers from the state of Oregon,
Speaker 1: which covers comics, singers, UM, strippers, fired dancers, all kinds
Speaker 1: of live entertainments. Yeah. Well, the fire Marshal a few
Speaker 1: years ago put a bunch of building restrictions in place too,
Speaker 1: which effectively shuttered that because they hated the adult industry.
Speaker 1: They probably put it under the guise of feelings to
Speaker 1: burn down and neither do you right, No, we don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so where is it going anyway? So they gathered us
Speaker 1: all together. There's so many different concerns because you have
Speaker 1: people coming from different backgrounds of class and race and
Speaker 1: gender and orientation believed or not not all strippers or
Speaker 1: sex workers are fam women, right, And we also do
Speaker 1: a great disservice by saying these trafficked women, what about boys, teens, youth,
Speaker 1: queer runaway? These are the people who tend to do
Speaker 1: street level sex work anyway because their parents are like,
Speaker 1: you're gay, get out of my house. Where does the
Speaker 1: kid go? The first adult at the mala says, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can live with me. You just got to do
Speaker 1: some favors and giving the money. Yeah, especially the trans community.
Speaker 1: I mean like like like it's like eight statistically of
Speaker 1: trans people have engaged in sex work just to get by.
Speaker 1: People don't hire them and they won't. I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I can remember like one time I walked
Speaker 1: into the gap and I saw trans work and I
Speaker 1: was like, thank God, like someone is higher and maybe
Speaker 1: not stop any way to feel yeah, because it's like you,
Speaker 1: it was the first time it was, so it stood
Speaker 1: out so much to me because you just don't see it.
Speaker 1: And I live in New York City. So if I'm
Speaker 1: not seeing it regularly in New York City, like where
Speaker 1: are we seeing yet? Yeah, So there's a lot going on.
Speaker 1: So gathered all these people together, we said, how about this,
Speaker 1: Let's create a hotline where live entertainers, no matter their
Speaker 1: background or what their issues are, they can call someone
Speaker 1: and they can get resources. How do I do my
Speaker 1: taxes if I'm a nineteen year old comic or stripper
Speaker 1: and I don't talk to my parents, you know, or
Speaker 1: my boss as a rapist? How do I report this?
Speaker 1: So we passed this bill got bipartisan support. It was
Speaker 1: called HB fifty nine. I believe it's been a few years.
Speaker 1: And so I went and I had the meetings, and
Speaker 1: I talked to the representatives that I wanted to get
Speaker 1: vote on this bill, and I had some of my
Speaker 1: people come with me, because believe or not, live entertainers
Speaker 1: tend to be people that don't want to get up
Speaker 1: at six in the morning to drive a sale, that
Speaker 1: is correct, and sex workers aka strippers don't want to
Speaker 1: get up at six in the morning and drive the sale,
Speaker 1: but also show up in a room and say this
Speaker 1: is the work I do. Yeah. Um. So in speaking
Speaker 1: with the Democrats, it was really funny because I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is a human rights issue, you know, like we
Speaker 1: have to prevent traffic, and which is great. But I
Speaker 1: went to the Republicans and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: a fiscal issue. You guys can close down all these Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm like, they are out clubs where the roofs are leaking,
Speaker 1: and this is a safety issue, and what a waste
Speaker 1: of tax parer money. They were like, you're right, so
Speaker 1: that's great. You gotta hustle up. Yeah. One of the
Speaker 1: only benefits to being raised Republicans. Sorry, parents, you sucked
Speaker 1: me over. I had to undo a lot of shit,
Speaker 1: but I have insight onto how they think. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: both of my parents are also Republican and my dad,
Speaker 1: my dads always encouraged me to vote. But he was like,
Speaker 1: what are these issues? What are these candidates? Standford? He
Speaker 1: was fiscal, he was all fiscal and I was so short,
Speaker 1: so a true moderate. Um. So that was a few
Speaker 1: years ago. So we passed this hotline the Bureau of
Speaker 1: Labor and Industry Bully, which at the time was run
Speaker 1: by a guy Brad Vaki in UM. He did not
Speaker 1: run it. Well, okay, uh. It was supposed to be
Speaker 1: fifty dollars to fund it. It was called a dust fund.
Speaker 1: So fifty dollars a year from the state of organ
Speaker 1: is a pretty low fund. I heard other reps say
Speaker 1: it's a dust bond. It's hardly anything to staff it.
Speaker 1: We're just paying the person, the resource worker who would
Speaker 1: answer the phone and say, here's the resources that we
Speaker 1: have accumulated. Just one person. Well we have a twenty
Speaker 1: four hours, but a couple of ships. Okay. So what
Speaker 1: happened was I called the hotline. I had people tell
Speaker 1: me they called the hotline. There was no one there.
Speaker 1: There was a message machine where you could leave your information,
Speaker 1: which nobody's going to do that if they're fearing repercussions
Speaker 1: from brand so and also person they had staffed to hire.
Speaker 1: It had a long history with like a lot of
Speaker 1: conflict in working in the adult industry, so it didn't
Speaker 1: seem like a good choice. The seen fiscal crisis of
Speaker 1: Oregon being like three billion dollars short smashed it shut
Speaker 1: and I was happy because it was embarrassing. It worked
Speaker 1: very hard, and it was a good idea and it
Speaker 1: would be a great idea again, but it had to
Speaker 1: be it has to take seriously. Yeah. Yeah, So Bowley
Speaker 1: has a new commissioner. I believe it's the title Valve Hoyle.
Speaker 1: She was she sounds better than Barrett. Yeah, she's a democrat.
Speaker 1: I met her. Um I think that's the thing that
Speaker 1: when you work with people and you know this, whether
Speaker 1: it's your clients or like your supporters or people facilitating,
Speaker 1: there's so many names instead of some of you have
Speaker 1: like three names on Instagram, Facebook, in person. So I
Speaker 1: thought even like Sarah Michelle Geller, yeah, like my reference
Speaker 1: in my UM. So what people can do if they
Speaker 1: want to help these populations is you need to get feedback.
Speaker 1: You need to source these populations. That's one. Also give
Speaker 1: feedback to the media companies that you see where you
Speaker 1: see things that you're like, that feels wrong. Every time
Speaker 1: I see adult industry portrayed on TV, ninety eight percent
Speaker 1: of the time it's wrong, and only because in the
Speaker 1: last two years more of us are being able to
Speaker 1: create our own content. It's an example of where the
Speaker 1: adult entry is being portrayed inaccurately. So there's this mentality.
Speaker 1: There's either the villain or the victim mentality like theme
Speaker 1: archetype that tends to be portrayed over and over again.
Speaker 1: If you're a sex worker, you're either probably like a hustling,
Speaker 1: heartless bitch that like screws over all your clients, or
Speaker 1: you are like a victim who is being screwed over
Speaker 1: by all your clients and your boyfriend. Probably, so people
Speaker 1: are complex. Labor is complex. Um. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it's like to Oh hi, are you feeling me? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like to be a kindergarten teacher,
Speaker 1: but it sounds like fucking hell to me because I
Speaker 1: have a six year old. Yeah, and I like my child,
Speaker 1: but even sometimes I'm like, I can't believe. I try.
Speaker 1: I like plan to have you. I have a part.
Speaker 1: The best part about having an if you get back exactly.
Speaker 1: Um My ex cousin's watching her right now. He's a
Speaker 1: great guy. Um, so where the hell is it going? Anyway?
Speaker 1: People do all kinds of different work, and just because
Speaker 1: it's not for you doesn't mean someone else doesn't want
Speaker 1: to do it. This is Portland's so many of you
Speaker 1: know this. You're getting bored? Well, so wait, so let's um,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite hat to wear? You were a lot
Speaker 1: of hats. I know. I do favorite sleep very much.
Speaker 1: You know what, We're so lucky. I love them all.
Speaker 1: I love talking about sex, I love learning about sex.
Speaker 1: I love trying to have better sex and touch. When
Speaker 1: do you feel the sexiest? Oh? My god, Holy sh it,
Speaker 1: that was a real moment. I'm inflecting. I didn't expect
Speaker 1: to feel as human. When do I feel as sexist? Um?
Speaker 1: I feel the sexist probably when I just don't say
Speaker 1: parentsing and you're safe. Oh why as I Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I go to strip clubs a lot, and um, one
Speaker 1: of the reasons why I love going is because the
Speaker 1: strippers make me feel so sexy and the sex I
Speaker 1: have when I go with a partner. Afterwards, I moved differently.
Speaker 1: My body is. I feel like my shape changes because
Speaker 1: I've just watched these beautiful, sensual woman women and I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm a better I'm better fucking after I
Speaker 1: called the football. So I don't know if I just
Speaker 1: like came, like I just my heart just came. That
Speaker 1: was so beautiful because I was like, you know, like
Speaker 1: after you get off a plane and you feel so
Speaker 1: bloated and then you like go to the bathroom and
Speaker 1: your stomach gets flat again and you're like back to
Speaker 1: one baby bed. Tell him of cheese platter. Couldn't take
Speaker 1: me down this time. Delta's the best zero K one
Speaker 1: silver medallion number. Um, I feel the sexiest and you
Speaker 1: just gave me this epiphany. I feel the sexiest when
Speaker 1: I make other people feel sexy. Oh there that and
Speaker 1: that's a lot of times, like I have a lot
Speaker 1: of friends that are sex workers and they'll talk to
Speaker 1: me about their experiences. I'm like, wow, you like really
Speaker 1: helped that man and the ones that I'm friends with,
Speaker 1: our women who then, and what my clients are. You
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, but but it's so the stories
Speaker 1: this one friend tells me are beautiful, Like these men
Speaker 1: don't have the opportunity, like she's a really beautiful girl,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times like they'll they'll be at
Speaker 1: of a divorce, they don't with they were married to
Speaker 1: a partner who didn't touch them, didn't look at them
Speaker 1: for years, they didn't make them feel sexy. And we
Speaker 1: talked about a lot about you know, women's rights and
Speaker 1: women's it's how important women's sexuality is because we are women,
Speaker 1: but it's so important that men feel sexy too. And
Speaker 1: I want to be with a man who feels sexy, right,
Speaker 1: So the story that she tells me about these men
Speaker 1: and that she she sees them coming alive for the
Speaker 1: first time in probably years, that warms my fucking heart.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I can't imagine the and it's and
Speaker 1: it's not just men too, there's a lot of there's
Speaker 1: people of all genders, and I get a lot of
Speaker 1: queer folks, and I get a lot of trans folks.
Speaker 1: I have to say, men and women when they come
Speaker 1: into the club. Men and women express entitlement the same way.
Speaker 1: The only people who don't push my boundaries tend to
Speaker 1: be Transfolkes was saying, how did they persue their boundaries
Speaker 1: being pushed all the time and people inquiring on their space?
Speaker 1: And like I've given tens thousands of lap dances. Okay,
Speaker 1: women will grab me as much as men will, but
Speaker 1: they'll feel like it's okay because I had a pissy
Speaker 1: tier right, talks about that before, like even at Meat
Speaker 1: and Great's Like, I mean not, we have a lot
Speaker 1: more women coming out to see us, so obviously, like
Speaker 1: that's the number of thing. But like I don't ever
Speaker 1: remember a man in this instance touching me and inappropriately
Speaker 1: and women do it all the time. Don't touch like
Speaker 1: our boobs. Yeah wow, that was a bold choice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but not be bad at this very instant But like
Speaker 1: that's like, yeah, you still don't know that, you still
Speaker 1: don't given them permission to touch you. It still feels weird.
Speaker 1: People have trauma. People don't owe you anything. Um. So
Speaker 1: it's really interesting because you say men coming alive, but
Speaker 1: there's a women who come alive too, and I mean
Speaker 1: I come alive the fires. I'm human. Uh So, But
Speaker 1: it's really interesting because men and women both they expressed
Speaker 1: so many different things, but they're expressing them in gendered
Speaker 1: ways because it's been how they've been raised to express them,
Speaker 1: and so, um, women will feel like women and men
Speaker 1: will both feel guilty for their pleasure. They're like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you have to do this right now,
Speaker 1: like they say that to you. Yeah. People be like
Speaker 1: when I had a woman, she her friend bought her
Speaker 1: a couple of songs, and this will happen where the
Speaker 1: person who buys the songs didn't communicate with the person
Speaker 1: who's about to receive the songs. So I go up,
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, may I borrow you? And they're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, would you like to? I you don't have to,
Speaker 1: but okay, she's like okay. She pounds or drink follows
Speaker 1: me and she's like, I'm so sorry you have to
Speaker 1: do this. I was like way to way to make
Speaker 1: the mood ship yeah, or I probably could offended. You
Speaker 1: could offend it. Well, it kind of hurts because I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, you believe the victim mentality that you saw TV?
Speaker 1: Then that's yeah. Um. Could it also be like their
Speaker 1: insecurity with like receiving the lap dance together? And I
Speaker 1: think that's also like, you know, if I was to
Speaker 1: say that, that's how I would feel like, Oh, I
Speaker 1: like I feel uncomfortable that this is happening right now,
Speaker 1: especially because it wasn't communicated within you know, like a
Speaker 1: like a friend just bought it for you and things
Speaker 1: that you want it, but maybe you don't want that
Speaker 1: close of an interaction. Yeah, And that's totally fair and
Speaker 1: legitimate too. And that's why I don't get upset when
Speaker 1: people don't want to dance, like no, thank you because
Speaker 1: it took me. Again, I said, I'm thirty two. It
Speaker 1: took me until about seven years ago to get a
Speaker 1: pedicure because I'm like, I don't know what a person
Speaker 1: touched my gross feet? Really? Wow? Yeah, I know, like
Speaker 1: this is their job. It's kind of irrelevant whether or
Speaker 1: not they like it, but like if they're showing up.
Speaker 1: I'm going to hope they're not being forced to again.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what you do, Like, is this person
Speaker 1: able to keep a reasonable amount of their money and
Speaker 1: leave after like eight or ten hours. There was actually
Speaker 1: a really interesting New York Times article a couple of
Speaker 1: years about just that, and I mean, I don't want
Speaker 1: to get into because I'm not in the nail industry.
Speaker 1: But it was bleached. Yeah, no, it could have fooled me.
Speaker 1: Look at those I know. Well, this is from finger Bang.
Speaker 1: Shout out, I actually know. Shout out to Glenna's the
Speaker 1: owner of finger Bang. It's a great name for a
Speaker 1: nail place. I love finger Bank supports the strippers. What
Speaker 1: she doesn't mind me saying that, what's something? What's like
Speaker 1: the dumbest thing that's ever come out of somebody's mouth?
Speaker 1: With him? You were stripping in front of them? Oh
Speaker 1: my god. So as I get older, um, and I
Speaker 1: would love. I mean, look, I can be a sex
Speaker 1: worker until I die. Basically, I met a sixty something
Speaker 1: or old woman where she's we were doing a sex
Speaker 1: worker like get together and she's like, yeah, I mostly
Speaker 1: just do like hand jobs these days. I was like, why,
Speaker 1: she's like one my pussy is like dry and it
Speaker 1: kind of hurts. Oh fu. Yeah that is a very
Speaker 1: real answer. So but like I have time, so um
Speaker 1: yeah again, where was it going with this? What was
Speaker 1: the question? The dumbest things almost set it to Okay,
Speaker 1: So the thing I'm encountering more of which is just oh,
Speaker 1: mommy loves this. Um. When a twenty one year old
Speaker 1: comes in boy or girl, not a queer transperson because
Speaker 1: again they're fucking respectful, um, and they're like, show me
Speaker 1: what you got baby, Oh yeah, girl, fucking work that
Speaker 1: thing and they have a dollar and I'm like, what,
Speaker 1: I have been doing this job since you were in
Speaker 1: elementary school, sucker. Oh my god, I've literally I'm just
Speaker 1: stripping for ten years and I love my job. My
Speaker 1: knees hurt like ship but from all the dancing and crawling, um,
Speaker 1: and I popped some ribs out sometime, but it's yeah,
Speaker 1: pol work is hard. Well yeah, oh yes. So I
Speaker 1: think that things that just generally irritate me are this
Speaker 1: this weird ideas ideas people have coming into the club
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you've never even been in this environment before,
Speaker 1: but I see you repeating the script of Ship and
Speaker 1: I know where you've got it from. You got it
Speaker 1: from TV, you got it from family guy. SA mcfarlean
Speaker 1: hates sex workers. Really, Oh god, who two? What has
Speaker 1: he said about them? I'll google it, But mcfarlean hates
Speaker 1: sex workers was a great um written piece on tits
Speaker 1: and sas dot com, which is a media site all
Speaker 1: buy and four sex workers. UM, tits and sas, not
Speaker 1: tips and asks. That's a different site, s A s S.
Speaker 1: I guess one day she's like, how do your articles
Speaker 1: not on this website? And so want your ask? Mom?
Speaker 1: Thanks mom, Um. Tina Fey hates sex workers? Say you
Speaker 1: mentioned TF and Lena's on him? We kind of all
Speaker 1: know because like Lena's on him is doing a lot
Speaker 1: of great stuff, but she really is adamant with her
Speaker 1: you know, the victim mentality with her anti sex work thing.
Speaker 1: But as someone who has never done sex works or
Speaker 1: or has employed, I have someone who has employed a
Speaker 1: sex worker to have sex with me and that and
Speaker 1: I gotta say it was empowering. It felt amazing. I
Speaker 1: felt like I wasn't insecure or about all the things
Speaker 1: I usually been secure about. I feel like you didn't
Speaker 1: have to get him off at the end because I
Speaker 1: could tell him the lead because he got me off
Speaker 1: and I didn't have to tuck his dick and I
Speaker 1: didn't want to put the moment and it was just wonderful.
Speaker 1: It was just after I employed a sex worker. I
Speaker 1: was I was like, oh, I mean I had My
Speaker 1: views are similar, but I'm just I feel so much
Speaker 1: more passionate about it because I'm like, you guys don't
Speaker 1: understand if you employ a sex worker, like the service
Speaker 1: that that is doing is incredible. It gets your confidence back.
Speaker 1: It just makes you feel like a woman or a
Speaker 1: man or whoever you are, and it's just good. That's
Speaker 1: so wonderful to hear um. And it's not like you
Speaker 1: can't have a bad experience with any provider, because I
Speaker 1: hear that too, people like I went to a striple
Speaker 1: I was terrible. Like I'm sure I went to a
Speaker 1: sandwich place. It was fucking awful. Yeah, every CD I
Speaker 1: park either, and the thing is strip close have yelled
Speaker 1: for reviews so you can read them, and I always did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's some good ones of me on there. In two
Speaker 1: thousand and ten, I spit on a guy in a
Speaker 1: flower jumpsuit. What I don't drink that much anymore? What
Speaker 1: did he do before you sit on him? He was
Speaker 1: throwing poker chips at the girls and calling us names.
Speaker 1: Yes see. It confuses me when stories like that even exists,
Speaker 1: because it's like, okay, did no one remove this person
Speaker 1: from what happened? Okay after but I'm okay, do you
Speaker 1: get a horny when you stripped? I I become sexually
Speaker 1: activated when I stripped for a few reasons. Sometimes it's psychological.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just because there's a lot of sexually relevant
Speaker 1: ship going on and my brain is like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: it's pussy time. Is it pussy time? I think because
Speaker 1: I suck. I sucked people of all genders. So when
Speaker 1: my coworker comes up to me, it's like hey babe,
Speaker 1: I'm like hello. Um So I noticed when I when
Speaker 1: I was a young teenager, and I don't know about
Speaker 1: you guys, but I felt a lot of pressure to
Speaker 1: shade my pussy. So I started shaving my pussy. And
Speaker 1: I still like, do some hair stuff, hair removal. But
Speaker 1: I remember when I started shaving my pussy. I would
Speaker 1: always notice. I was like, why am I wet? Why
Speaker 1: am I lubricated? Because I was having a physical response
Speaker 1: to the contact. And this is the same reason people
Speaker 1: get boners when they ride the bus or get wet
Speaker 1: when somebody sexually assaults them and have physical reaction. And
Speaker 1: this is news to some people not to others. But
Speaker 1: that's called arousal non concordance. So by Dr Emily Nagowski,
Speaker 1: she's the researcher behind that. Right, we call it a
Speaker 1: pussy alarm on the show, but that, yeah, that is
Speaker 1: the official name. If you wanted to have a conversation
Speaker 1: about it, that was appropriate. So yeah, and it's and
Speaker 1: then how confusing it must be to be sexually assaulted
Speaker 1: but then show signs of being aroused and not understand
Speaker 1: that's defense mechanism and yeah, involuntary reaction. Yeah, so there's
Speaker 1: a lot that goes on. Um, so I do become
Speaker 1: arouse sometimes most of the time I'm not, but I'm
Speaker 1: still You have to be in a state of energy
Speaker 1: to be able to interact with people that way. Surely
Speaker 1: get like a sensual kind of energy my showing am
Speaker 1: I like put my phone in the corner and I'm like,
Speaker 1: just that the ship set isn't into thought because I
Speaker 1: could make a real kill A Yeah, some guy lost
Speaker 1: the girl that's going to ignore him. Is it Daria
Speaker 1: role play? How often wherever have you been sexually attracted
Speaker 1: to the people that employ your services? Yeah? My ex
Speaker 1: husband who's watching our daughter. I met him at the club. Um.
Speaker 1: The last woman I had sex with I met at
Speaker 1: the club. Um, my partner right now, I met at
Speaker 1: the club. Wow. You know I've been working there for
Speaker 1: ten years. And if you're a workaholic, like you might
Speaker 1: not necessarily meet people other places. Right. Oh, it's a
Speaker 1: comic guy, get it. Yeah. And also it's good to
Speaker 1: test my sexual radar because I can already tell if
Speaker 1: I like the way you smell, if you interact well together,
Speaker 1: like um, if you don't tip well, if you treat
Speaker 1: my coworkers like shit, like well, that's a great screening process.
Speaker 1: How do you hold yourself in an adult environment? Now?
Speaker 1: What if you want so you've done you've done sexual
Speaker 1: things for payment as work, but then you do sexual
Speaker 1: things for pleasure. Where's the line? Because what if you
Speaker 1: want to fux somebody but then they want to pay you.
Speaker 1: But then you're like, I would I have a little
Speaker 1: more serious about this. Maybe we would have had that conversation. Okay, Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: if any of my friends ever feel like they want
Speaker 1: to just give me money and we have sex sometimes
Speaker 1: that's fine, but so like, has it happened? Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: look see your people's venmos, Like I know who you
Speaker 1: hang out with. I'm like, you guys are sending each
Speaker 1: other money all the time, like you because I've tried
Speaker 1: to pay. I tried to pay a man for sex
Speaker 1: and then he said, well, he said it wasn't enough,
Speaker 1: but I was like, we've already had sex. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: payment wasn't up on the table before this because there
Speaker 1: was there was a kinky there was a kinkiness to
Speaker 1: that there, because it's like it's a power dynamic of
Speaker 1: power kink. I don't know, but I feel like some
Speaker 1: people would take offense to that. I mean like I
Speaker 1: didn't throw it and I was going to give it
Speaker 1: like an envelope or something. I would adam on the
Speaker 1: way out after that, that's for um. Yeah. I remember
Speaker 1: watching not at the time when it came out because
Speaker 1: I was too young, But some of you might remember
Speaker 1: the Sex in the City where Sarah Jessica Parker speaking
Speaker 1: of that name, didn't expect her that name twice tonight
Speaker 1: did you love her where she's pissed because the guy
Speaker 1: leaves her an envelope? And right, right, right, yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember that. It was very interesting to watch that through
Speaker 1: my eyes now where I'm like, girl, that's a tip, like,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, how many of us have had sex
Speaker 1: with people for free and then you just got money?
Speaker 1: I don't know, why are you mad? Well? It's also
Speaker 1: another another equivalent you could argue of, like if somebody
Speaker 1: sucks me good, you know, like Beyonce says, take his
Speaker 1: aster a box or take him out to dinner, you know,
Speaker 1: do something, and that's it's form of like showing appreciation.
Speaker 1: The way someone feels about that feels more probably about
Speaker 1: how feel about sex workers, because if you are that
Speaker 1: piste off that someone thought you were a professional sex worker,
Speaker 1: then you probably believe the villain or the victim mentality exactly.
Speaker 1: Otherwise you're like, oh, they thought I was a professional
Speaker 1: and they were willing to give me money. Yeah? Cool again? Now,
Speaker 1: how different other than the obvious, Um, there's there's terms
Speaker 1: and things you negotiate that are different up top, But
Speaker 1: the sex you have for work and the sex you
Speaker 1: have purely for pleasure, what's the difference. So I haven't
Speaker 1: done full service sex work in a couple of years.
Speaker 1: There's a few reasons for that. Um. My last appointment
Speaker 1: I went to I there was a cop car in
Speaker 1: the parking lot, and I'm like, not worth it, not
Speaker 1: worth it? Um, so it's still illegal. Um it's way
Speaker 1: harder to find clients now with foss and sus to
Speaker 1: being removed. So again, like, how do the consensual workers
Speaker 1: advertise when I can't even post a link to my
Speaker 1: podcast that talks about sex work and Instagram will take
Speaker 1: it down because it's adult content. God forbid, I'm trafficking
Speaker 1: myself like this is this? These are the effects of
Speaker 1: Foston sesta. I can't even get my word out. So's
Speaker 1: the loopholes that were buried in that building traffic children? Um,
Speaker 1: So it's illegal, it's it's dangerous. I'm lucky. I'm in
Speaker 1: a socio economic position where I don't have to do
Speaker 1: work that I don't feel is worth to me. I
Speaker 1: have to do work that's very hard and challenging and
Speaker 1: stresses me out, but I still request my schedule at
Speaker 1: the club and choose the articles I want to write,
Speaker 1: and do consulting with folks that I think I can
Speaker 1: answer their questions and give them resource. Um, my worst
Speaker 1: job I ever had was working Let's see which one
Speaker 1: was the worst one. Probably my worst one was working
Speaker 1: at Ralph's grocery store in San Marcos, California, next to
Speaker 1: cal State University San Marcos. They treat you like ship there,
Speaker 1: or they treat me like ship. So what was the question?
Speaker 1: The question the difference between the sex you would have
Speaker 1: for work as in exchange, and the sex you have
Speaker 1: for pleasure. Do you move differently? Do you? Obviously the
Speaker 1: conversation about top is different, Like what's what's your like?
Speaker 1: Your your mental state? If I'm working, then it's performative.
Speaker 1: You know, it's for the person who's paying me. Um.
Speaker 1: I also would like to have a decent time throughout.
Speaker 1: But uh, if it's with a person that I have
Speaker 1: other agreements with, then those are probably implied or have
Speaker 1: already been negotiated. So. UM, when so I said that
Speaker 1: I met my previous partners at the club. Uh, when
Speaker 1: I first had a date with my now partner a
Speaker 1: couple two and a half years ago. Um, after we
Speaker 1: looked up for the first time, I told him the
Speaker 1: next day, I said, you're still welcome to visit, but
Speaker 1: let me know beforehand, because you're not really my client anymore. Um,
Speaker 1: you can tip me when I'm on stage. Of course,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I want to accept money for
Speaker 1: lap dances from you anymore, because I mean, we fell
Speaker 1: in love overnight. It was yeah, we was. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like a slow dating process. So I was just like, wow,
Speaker 1: your role in my life, my role in your life
Speaker 1: has shifted, things have changed. So um, once in a
Speaker 1: while I'll text and be like, it's low, come in,
Speaker 1: come get because if anything, he's making me look busy okay,
Speaker 1: And then it's like that whole like perceived value thing
Speaker 1: where the other pliers are like that yeah, team he
Speaker 1: helps Yeah, or he'll like tip at the stage and
Speaker 1: get the other ones going. Um, or he'll bite. He
Speaker 1: asked me a couple of weeks ago. He says, can
Speaker 1: I buy a dance from so and so because maybe
Speaker 1: I don't like that bitch one of my co workers.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I go do it. And
Speaker 1: then you wanted to buy a dance from somebody you
Speaker 1: didn't like? No, no, no, no. He was checking if
Speaker 1: it was okay to make sure he liked that bit right. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got it, got it? Said yes, fine, you can
Speaker 1: give her money. Um, and you get jealous. Well, we're
Speaker 1: also no monogmous. We do nominox stuff too. He said,
Speaker 1: you had a sex with a lady recently. But like, okay, so, like,
Speaker 1: is there a sex in the champagne room? Like I
Speaker 1: know that's like a half question, but I really don't.
Speaker 1: I'm very naive about a lot of things, and I
Speaker 1: do want to real, Christine, I really would like to know.
Speaker 1: I would like to know because I don't want to
Speaker 1: ask anything that's not allowed. But it still work there,
Speaker 1: so I don't won't give all my stuff, okay it,
Speaker 1: but like I don't like but he kind of allowed
Speaker 1: to do whatever he wants. Where I work. There's no
Speaker 1: sex in the club because, first of all, as a
Speaker 1: small club, it would be hard to hide that. Also,
Speaker 1: that's just kind of rude. I don't want to deal
Speaker 1: with like extra bodily fluids that I didn't agree to. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: and like ethical issues, it's kind of the same reason
Speaker 1: or not the same. But here's a similar reason I
Speaker 1: don't do like blood contact. I don't I will never
Speaker 1: draw blood on a client, like hit them hard enough
Speaker 1: to where I think I could draw blood on them,
Speaker 1: because there's hitting asking hit me and draw blood is
Speaker 1: a question. Yeah, as hard as you can. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't like drawing blood because you shouldn't have blood, yeahs
Speaker 1: staying under your skin. Yeah, so it's weird a couple
Speaker 1: of reasons. It's just kind of rude to do that stuff.
Speaker 1: It's well, yeah, and it's not. It might not be
Speaker 1: the most the sansary environment. If you are going to
Speaker 1: engage in blood play you, I would think you would
Speaker 1: want to have the proper precaution. Well, also, most of
Speaker 1: close self food, that's true. You don't want to get
Speaker 1: some blood splatters, and the kitchen is on the other
Speaker 1: side of a lot of room. Good um to people. Food.
Speaker 1: People's good, you're good one, I see. I would thought
Speaker 1: that was their everybody's version of every playbook for the
Speaker 1: articles and like you don't really eat the food to you,
Speaker 1: but then it is, it's good, it's good. I need
Speaker 1: to eat more of the food. Look fast and stressed
Speaker 1: me out. It's so bad as this last year I've
Speaker 1: lost twenty pounds and I not have twenty pounds to lose.
Speaker 1: I'm skinny as fuck you guys. You can see this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so yes, I eat the food. If you ever want
Speaker 1: to buy me food when you're at the club, say hey,
Speaker 1: oh would you like some food? And I'll say yeah,
Speaker 1: fucking depressed some starving people. Yeah, good to know because
Speaker 1: I need to do it because I felt like a
Speaker 1: little Renaissance fairy. You know he has this turkey leg
Speaker 1: bring it to the stage. Yeah yeah yeah, as the
Speaker 1: time my dad gave a half eaten hot dog to
Speaker 1: a Renaissance Fair performer and he was she really was committed,
Speaker 1: so she ate it. So I think that has caused Um,
Speaker 1: your um rules are with your open relationship, but amish
Speaker 1: relationship nomenogamous. So uh, the agreements are ever changing because
Speaker 1: that's humanity. Yeah, the relationship is ever changing. Um. When
Speaker 1: something wants when someone wants something to change, do you
Speaker 1: like call a meeting? Do you write an email like
Speaker 1: what happened now? Session? Yeah? I don't want that fish
Speaker 1: looked at me wait started either amenmous oh I would
Speaker 1: have mad amendments if I got jealous or so. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I have found that the more agreements to
Speaker 1: try to make, the easier it is to accidentally cross
Speaker 1: the line or upset somebody. So I have some we
Speaker 1: I have some very simple things. I like to suggest.
Speaker 1: My current partner is a few years younger than me,
Speaker 1: and which is I call him stepdaddy, but that's yet
Speaker 1: daddy because he's got so what I feel comfortable with.
Speaker 1: Because I am a pretty private person at home, I
Speaker 1: also co parent, so I have my child's ship everywhere.
Speaker 1: I have my ship everywhere. I'm kind of a germ
Speaker 1: germ afoe. Um. I'm like, I don't want anybody at
Speaker 1: the houses because we lived together. So I'm like, nobody
Speaker 1: at the house at least initially and there until we
Speaker 1: like if we were sucking the person together and I
Speaker 1: both we had a close relationship. UM so actually not
Speaker 1: yet okay, fun, Um, so nobody at the house. Um,
Speaker 1: you have to ask, you have to. I don't usually
Speaker 1: say have to, but you have to ask them when
Speaker 1: was the last time you're tested? And can talk about
Speaker 1: your screening history and your partners? UM asked him if
Speaker 1: they have any other partners, because what's happened once was
Speaker 1: he got into a brief interaction with a woman and
Speaker 1: it was going well and I was happy for him,
Speaker 1: and the red flag was she had a jealous ex
Speaker 1: partner showed up once and I said, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: I have picked up a boyfriend who got jumped by
Speaker 1: someone unrelated separate years ago. I don't want to do
Speaker 1: it again. Yeah, so I need you to like have
Speaker 1: enough backstory on this person and know them well enough,
Speaker 1: because every time you involve other people, you involve other
Speaker 1: people's lives. It's not just about sex um. And also
Speaker 1: I want to have a general idea of who the
Speaker 1: person is because it's kind of uncomfortable for me if
Speaker 1: I'm at work and say someone's like, hi, I'm firm.
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, It's like that could just be a mental
Speaker 1: load that I'm not prepared to deal with, because even
Speaker 1: monogamous people still encounter jealousy or it's just again, like
Speaker 1: a mental load. Like even if I see a childhood
Speaker 1: friends somewhere, I didn't grow up here, so hopefully I don't.
Speaker 1: But if I was walking around and I saw someone
Speaker 1: from like years ago, maybe I just don't have the
Speaker 1: energy to interact with that person. Yeah, I wanted to ask.
Speaker 1: My next question was about jealousy because I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of people have this interpretation of an open
Speaker 1: relationship where it's like, well, that means you can't get jealous,
Speaker 1: but jealousy is a human quality and it's okay to
Speaker 1: get jealous if you talk it out. What were there
Speaker 1: moments where you were like yeah, and we're still moving
Speaker 1: very very slowly. I mean the first year and a
Speaker 1: half of our relationship. We have so much good, rich, dynamic, kinky,
Speaker 1: queer sex. He's a he's a CIS male, but like
Speaker 1: he's not straighting does he know that? Or because oh yeah,
Speaker 1: there's he's he's very mature for a twenty nine year old.
Speaker 1: His dad listens to the shows. It's all terrible. Turn
Speaker 1: it off, mr B. This is the guys we booked.
Speaker 1: Hey mr B, Hey, mr B. So we've been moving
Speaker 1: really slowly and we're still figuring it out. Um, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of chickens. It's not even a lot of chickens,
Speaker 1: because again we're moving really slowly. But I guess it
Speaker 1: would just be figure out what you're not comfortable with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and sometimes that's trial by error. Yeah exactly, You're gonna
Speaker 1: figure out things that push on things you didn't know existed. Um,
Speaker 1: but if you want to open your relationship, why are
Speaker 1: you doing it to be cool because your friends are
Speaker 1: doing it. Because people are doing it on Tinder, that's
Speaker 1: the wrong reason you don't want to do it. If
Speaker 1: you are like, oh, this feels so good and I
Speaker 1: have sex with you and I like it, and how
Speaker 1: could we maybe expand that's a good reason. Or you know,
Speaker 1: you have a chronic illness and you're totally comfortable with
Speaker 1: me going on dates when you can't have sex for
Speaker 1: months at a time, that's a good reason. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: people find what works for them if they stop listening
Speaker 1: to all the other ship that they're being told that
Speaker 1: they don't need. Yes, I agree. Do you have a
Speaker 1: favorite go to? Either a move and maybe both if
Speaker 1: you want to talk, whatever comes to mind for you.
Speaker 1: But like a move that like you're really good at
Speaker 1: when you have sex, Like I've gotten really good at
Speaker 1: like putting stuff up guy's butts and I'm actually really
Speaker 1: proud of that, and like I can like watch a
Speaker 1: guy have that kind of like a a prostate simulated
Speaker 1: orgasm for the first time is like my oxygen. Like
Speaker 1: I just it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: I'm so I'm like and basically realize that I am
Speaker 1: the straightest motherfucker, Like, I love men in their butt
Speaker 1: holes and their dicks. It just right. Maybe though maybe
Speaker 1: you're a gay man man, maybe you're like, oh, the
Speaker 1: straightest lady, I love putting stuff up guys butt holes.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I'm also yeah maybe right, yeah,
Speaker 1: well the dick thing again, that's a gay man. I
Speaker 1: think that resonates for from row. Yeah, but so like
Speaker 1: that's that's one of my favorite move Like, that's like
Speaker 1: a go to for me. Once I get really comfortable
Speaker 1: with somebody, um, and then I have certain things that
Speaker 1: when they're done to me, I'm like, I am yours?
Speaker 1: Do you have those in your repertoire? Anything? I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't give it all away again, anything you're comfortable talking,
Speaker 1: I think, No, it's not that I'm shy. It's just
Speaker 1: like you gotta pay me for my secrets totally. And
Speaker 1: I get that. I get that people should use both
Speaker 1: of their hands when they do things. Um. I saw
Speaker 1: somebody post on Facebook today that if you pull your
Speaker 1: your dick through your boxers all the time to get
Speaker 1: a blow job, you don't just of a blow job.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of guys who've done that. And
Speaker 1: you are correct, that's never happened. No, not to I
Speaker 1: mean I think I think I just people are scared
Speaker 1: of me, so they just behave better I think truly.
Speaker 1: The baggy boxers that you've obviously warned three boxers to
Speaker 1: begin with, we get all of the first handers on
Speaker 1: the time talk in the green room. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I just like to um, I like to
Speaker 1: slow down a lot more than what I see in porn,
Speaker 1: and that seems to help a lot. So what happens
Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah, what happens a lot, especially with younger
Speaker 1: people and not just younger men, but everything moves a
Speaker 1: lot faster. I remember when cell phones didn't exist, and
Speaker 1: that was a really nice time for some reasons. But
Speaker 1: we're all very like the dope to me, now, something
Speaker 1: has to happen now, climax now. So there's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure on people being sexually liberated, and it's putting
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on the folks to not communicate
Speaker 1: because it's like, why can't you find my clip? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, did you show him how you like
Speaker 1: to be touched? Now? He could yet No men are
Speaker 1: mind Reader's conversation. No, but he's a mind reader. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: so I like to when I feel someone it seems
Speaker 1: like they're starting to disassociate or go into like humpy mode,
Speaker 1: and customers and can with too. Yeah, they just start
Speaker 1: like it's just dick centric because they everything else just
Speaker 1: seems to go nominate, like kay, penis time or pussy time.
Speaker 1: And then they wonder, why can't I get harder? Why
Speaker 1: can't I get wet? Because you're putting all this stress
Speaker 1: on this one area. So if you want to have
Speaker 1: better sex, touch each other's hair and touch their hands,
Speaker 1: and I say to people, can you slow down and
Speaker 1: breathe with me? Oh, grab their face, yeah, I'll do that. Hey,
Speaker 1: if there's a year old thrusting in you and reasonably fast,
Speaker 1: it's happening to me so many times, grabbed their face,
Speaker 1: say I'd like you to breathe with me. Damn you
Speaker 1: all know we say it in that voice? Or can
Speaker 1: we use our own voice? Like can't you breathe with mead? Break? Slow?
Speaker 1: Slow it down? The slow thing. There's so much to
Speaker 1: that what you mentioned. Because last night I was having sex.
Speaker 1: I want me to brag, but I was having checked
Speaker 1: and I was and there was a point for maybe,
Speaker 1: like I would say, full fifteen minutes. It was just
Speaker 1: very he was on top of me and it was
Speaker 1: very slow, and I felt the need to make all
Speaker 1: these showy noises. And then I heard myself and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the fund are you doing, Christie? And then I
Speaker 1: just shut the funk up and enjoyed it. And the
Speaker 1: craziest work as about like it is crazy, how how
Speaker 1: people's instincts just are so far from slowing down and enjoying.
Speaker 1: Porn is performative, Yeah, porn is mostly performative. That's okay.
Speaker 1: Football is performative. Okay, anything on entertainment is probably performative.
Speaker 1: You can learn stuff from it, for sure. You can
Speaker 1: become inspired all kinds of creative ideas. I love porn
Speaker 1: for that. It activates people. Um, A really great way
Speaker 1: to show your partner what you might be interested in
Speaker 1: is if they're comfortable with it, say hey, can I
Speaker 1: just send you a clip like a link to a
Speaker 1: porn that I liked and like time stamp here. Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought, I was like, you go conni lingus any
Speaker 1: buzzy real dry down there, you know what? And it's
Speaker 1: and I think I'm just realizing this now as you're
Speaker 1: saying the performative thing. Like I used to get so
Speaker 1: aroused by feeling performative, but it's so much better when
Speaker 1: you just not performative in your aroused at the same time,
Speaker 1: like that, just more in touch with your body, and
Speaker 1: you can do both. You can go back and forth.
Speaker 1: Because the performative stuff is fun. That's why people dress
Speaker 1: up sometimes and like gear and go to sex club
Speaker 1: because it's fun to be seen and to see. But sometimes,
Speaker 1: especially when I've been seen and seeing all night, I
Speaker 1: want to turn the lights off, and I want to
Speaker 1: slow down, and I want to breathe with the person
Speaker 1: that I love, and I can feel everything around me,
Speaker 1: and I'm getting all choked up because I'm not a
Speaker 1: religious person and I don't think God is real, because
Speaker 1: how could you let all this ship happen? Motherfucker. But
Speaker 1: I feel connected to myself as a living being on
Speaker 1: this planet, and I am having good connective sex and
Speaker 1: then and you're in love, so you understand your eyes
Speaker 1: are glossing over something. I mean, I feel the feelings.
Speaker 1: I just would never let them go in this arena. Okay, good,
Speaker 1: but they're somewhere, Mike, my question I thowt it was.
Speaker 1: It was on your Instagram. I believe that I saw
Speaker 1: you doing this exercise where you were sitting and staring
Speaker 1: into the eyes of your partner for like a long
Speaker 1: as time. Right, that was you? Right, I mean I
Speaker 1: do that. I mean I've done that. You don't think
Speaker 1: you don't know that you've posted it. You did it.
Speaker 1: It was you. I don't done one else. I mean,
Speaker 1: like who else? It was posh by? So it was you.
Speaker 1: I don't follow that many people, you know, Um, yes,
Speaker 1: And I mean it was interesting to like it was
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to watch as an outsider because it felt so
Speaker 1: personal and so raw. And I was interested, like why
Speaker 1: you why you wanted to share that, and how like
Speaker 1: often you do that and what you get out of it.
Speaker 1: So there's a And I'm not a sex therapist. I'm
Speaker 1: a graduate student of a sex educator program, and I'm
Speaker 1: currently doing my one thousand, literally one thousand hours of
Speaker 1: supervision to appeal to a higher certification. UM they don't
Speaker 1: like the organization doesn't like me naming them until you're
Speaker 1: actually affiliated with them, so I will not it. But
Speaker 1: um sense touch is a practice that's been developed by
Speaker 1: a sex therapist, and a lot of it is, well,
Speaker 1: it starts out with like it's very slow escalated touch,
Speaker 1: negotiated between usually two partners. And the very first thing
Speaker 1: of that could be eye gazing where you're just sitting
Speaker 1: with your partner, maybe you're holding a hand or touching
Speaker 1: a leg or whatever is comfortable for you, but starts slow.
Speaker 1: And this is typically for people who say, we don't
Speaker 1: feel connected, we have mismatched libidos, we don't have any intimacy. Well,
Speaker 1: when was the last time you actually just stared into
Speaker 1: each other's eyes for thirty seconds and you weren't talking
Speaker 1: about bills or something you saw on Instagram or that
Speaker 1: person you don't like or whatever. Um so, And I'm
Speaker 1: not going to go through all of it, but sense
Speaker 1: touch S E N S A T E touch um.
Speaker 1: And it starts very slowly or maybe the next step
Speaker 1: after you've practice that, if it's eye gazing, if you
Speaker 1: do that for like a day or a week, or
Speaker 1: however fast or slow you feel you need to move
Speaker 1: through the practice, the next thing could be maybe like
Speaker 1: hand holding or arm touching. And so it's very slow,
Speaker 1: escalated touch that's negotiated between partners. This is great for
Speaker 1: people who have sexual trauma in their lives too, because
Speaker 1: they get to decide how slowly or quickly things move.
Speaker 1: And it's also a really great way to get in
Speaker 1: touch with erogena zones that you never even think about
Speaker 1: because we're talking about tits and dicks and postseason asses
Speaker 1: all the time, so nobody's like, wow, it feels so
Speaker 1: good when you stroke my inner thighs or my inner
Speaker 1: arms or the back of my neck. Yeah, I did,
Speaker 1: I did, um um. The yoga retreat I went on,
Speaker 1: one of the exercises we had to do was sit
Speaker 1: Indian style in front of somebody criss cross criss cross. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know I'm saying that too, but hey, you
Speaker 1: gotta say the dumb ship to get corrected. Um so. So,
Speaker 1: so we were sitting criss cross, it's like really like
Speaker 1: our knees were together. This was a person I never
Speaker 1: met before. It was a woman, um And we had
Speaker 1: to put our hands on our knees and just look
Speaker 1: at each other. But our faces were maybe five inches
Speaker 1: of heart and and and we both cried, and I
Speaker 1: realized how we are not intimate. It felt it wasn't sexual,
Speaker 1: but it was intimacy, and I realized how how rare
Speaker 1: intimacy is with people. We we save it for our partners,
Speaker 1: but when we barely even have it with our partners
Speaker 1: a lot of the time because we're so sucked up
Speaker 1: in everything else, and so it's so eye contact like
Speaker 1: is such a beautiful thing. It doesn't have to be sexual,
Speaker 1: but it really is a way to connect with humanity.
Speaker 1: I was so moved by that, like, I'll never forget
Speaker 1: that moment. I'll never forget that woman's eyes, and I'll
Speaker 1: never forget I'll never forget her because that was a
Speaker 1: really intense moment. I'm like, in our lives Coarntin and
Speaker 1: we meet so many people and they share so many
Speaker 1: amazing stories. But I felt so connected to this woman.
Speaker 1: I just stared at her for for I think it
Speaker 1: was maybe like eight minutes, which was a long time.
Speaker 1: That's a very long time, like a conversation. Wait you
Speaker 1: actually oh in your eyes? Yeah, I felt I was
Speaker 1: like talking is simple kind of say. It felt like
Speaker 1: we were communicating on the most intimate level, Like every
Speaker 1: little gesture was read, seen and heard, and it was
Speaker 1: fucking incredible. So I recommend that to people. Well, that's
Speaker 1: a five second rule, because I mean the difference between
Speaker 1: letting someone know with your eyes that you're attracted to them,
Speaker 1: like on a day to day when you're walking around,
Speaker 1: making eye contact with someone for like two to three
Speaker 1: seconds is totally normal. But it's those like two to
Speaker 1: three extra seconds that you let in that is like,
Speaker 1: I mean, that makes you feel like wow. I actually
Speaker 1: tried to do it with a professional musician, like when
Speaker 1: we were walking a hundred and forty blocks and we
Speaker 1: both couldn't do it. We have our own issue, like
Speaker 1: we're you're we're both you know, very like shy awkward.
Speaker 1: People were looking into each other's eyes while you were
Speaker 1: walking a hundred and forty blocks in New York. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and no one else was there because no one else
Speaker 1: it was like it was like the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: no one else was walking, and they were so scared
Speaker 1: of us that they stayed away because there were these
Speaker 1: people walking bitch as heels are. Yeah, I mean, it
Speaker 1: was like it got into a weird zone where we
Speaker 1: we passed like a crane game on the streets of
Speaker 1: New York just outside did you know that was there?
Speaker 1: I definitely played it. We didn't win. That's a little
Speaker 1: distracting for therapy. Yeah, but it was just like it
Speaker 1: was like a thing because I've been trying it. It's
Speaker 1: very hard to keep eye contact with someone, and you
Speaker 1: will see the change in the reaction to you when
Speaker 1: you when you are able to hold it that long,
Speaker 1: like you see them change like, oh, this person is
Speaker 1: looking at me in a different way than if they
Speaker 1: just passed me by. Imagine that you are a provider
Speaker 1: and your client says, I just want to look in
Speaker 1: your eyes and they just want to do it for
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes. What it feels like it would take
Speaker 1: a lot more of you than something else. People can
Speaker 1: do that intimacy, and I am happy to give that
Speaker 1: intimacy and I hope that I have a deep enough
Speaker 1: well to draw from that day. But again, my job
Speaker 1: is hard. Um yeah, no, eye gazing is tough. But
Speaker 1: there's there's playing of clients who like ask for that
Speaker 1: and good for them, But it's really hard because I
Speaker 1: have to remain not only like pleasant and passive. I
Speaker 1: see real fucking pain in people's eyes sometimes and it's
Speaker 1: hard to get on or not to at least I
Speaker 1: don't want to care for them. I would try to border.
Speaker 1: I would be like, do you sure you don't want
Speaker 1: a dick suck or handy handy interested? Yeah, he's bought simulators.
Speaker 1: I also had this is interesting too, so which shows
Speaker 1: you that anything could be manipulated, doesn't matter what it is.
Speaker 1: But I had a real awful customer once. Um, he's
Speaker 1: a very famous person in this town. I can't wait
Speaker 1: till I can say his name one day in this town.
Speaker 1: I'm like in the mayor of Portland. Yeah, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but he was a client of the strip club for
Speaker 1: a while and I ended up eventually telling him don't
Speaker 1: come in here again. I'll call the police on you
Speaker 1: for the way you acted. But he told me once.
Speaker 1: I don't know why he liked to tell me this
Speaker 1: six ship, but I know too much. But he said, oh,
Speaker 1: I just bought dances from so and so, which was
Speaker 1: the shyest girl in the club at the time. He says,
Speaker 1: I asked you stare in my eyes the whole time time,
Speaker 1: because I knew she would hate it. A lot of
Speaker 1: fucking cunt So people sick. People are sick, and anything
Speaker 1: can be manipulated. So on the flip side of that,
Speaker 1: I'm going to ruin her last name, but maybe her
Speaker 1: first name to Marina Abramovich's artist. Oh my gosh, her
Speaker 1: entire performance is something across from strangers for months at
Speaker 1: a time, and people cried, people got angry, Um, what
Speaker 1: is the name of that film? Does anyone remember? Anyone
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about? The artist is present, Yes,
Speaker 1: that's yes, thank you so um. But the looks on
Speaker 1: people's faces sometimes they're projecting and sometimes they're trying to
Speaker 1: read you. So that's another thing. There's people to interact
Speaker 1: with other people that they want to give. They want
Speaker 1: to give, give you love or give you energy, and
Speaker 1: there's people want to take take take takes. So it's
Speaker 1: also like I could have a client says can I
Speaker 1: give you a BackRub? I'm like, oh, sure, I'll see
Speaker 1: how this goes, you know, which is great, Like I
Speaker 1: get paid for BackRub, so it might actually be a
Speaker 1: nice background. I'm like, oh, you have a nice touch,
Speaker 1: thank you, and you know, like okay, you can't touch there,
Speaker 1: but like can we negotiate? And it's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is actually pleasant. Maybe I don't like the way they
Speaker 1: smell or they're not handsome or pretty to me, but
Speaker 1: that's fucking irrelevant because I'm getting paid to perform a service.
Speaker 1: But then there's a person who's like, let me give
Speaker 1: you a BackRub, and they're just like yeah, um so,
Speaker 1: and then again it's like, okay, well this doesn't really
Speaker 1: feel a great but it comes to the point of like,
Speaker 1: this is a job, and at what point do I
Speaker 1: have the ability to end this? Hopefully? So here's where
Speaker 1: consent comes into play with all these gray areas. You know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what job you're doing, it could become
Speaker 1: unpleasant enough to where you decide this isn't worth it
Speaker 1: for me, and more so because I's not my question
Speaker 1: like if you're working on an establishment obviously, like I
Speaker 1: mean what like how far can you go and how
Speaker 1: many things can you say no to you before they
Speaker 1: get annoyed with you or say no. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just like any you know job, There's lots of stuff
Speaker 1: that I've been asked to do and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. But you have to
Speaker 1: pick your battles kind of it depends on how the
Speaker 1: management is, honestly, um, and you just have to hope
Speaker 1: you work at a good place or try to work
Speaker 1: at a good place where the management is ethical. Do
Speaker 1: we want to open it up to a question? Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah like that. So we wanted to open it up
Speaker 1: to the audience to ask any questions. Uh, you know
Speaker 1: ren L to Great Daniel, Christina to general that you
Speaker 1: want to hear everyone's opinion on. Yeah, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: town hall style to just talk to the microphones and
Speaker 1: raising your hand right there if you're mind. There's in
Speaker 1: the front row, there's a mic on a stand. Um,
Speaker 1: you can maybe person and there's somebody in the front
Speaker 1: where that could take it off the stand and just
Speaker 1: hand it towards the shop. There's an aisle here right
Speaker 1: because it's just a short little line so that we
Speaker 1: can go pretty quickly if anyone's interested. And are there
Speaker 1: people sitting up there? Yeah, you're screwed, so sorry about that. Um,
Speaker 1: but again, if you can make it down fast enough,
Speaker 1: so yeah, we can do this for like about fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: So okay, what's your question? Hi guys, hi, Hi, I
Speaker 1: love all of you. Thank you else. Since you are
Speaker 1: in Portland and I live here, is there anything that
Speaker 1: I can get involved in to help you? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: nice question. I really really love that. Question and offer.
Speaker 1: That's a good question. Um, I am so on the
Speaker 1: spot right now. Can you can you send me a
Speaker 1: d M on Instagram? Like can you bend momentum? Stripper writer,
Speaker 1: stripper writer. There's a ton of stuff you can do,
Speaker 1: but let's figure out what you're, what your contacts are,
Speaker 1: and what mine are. Great question, plice, thank you? Hello
Speaker 1: was real shitty After this, I have a better be
Speaker 1: selfless Hi. Here, let's hear it. Okay, So my name
Speaker 1: is can you get a little bit closer? There you go.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven. I had a thyroid cancer when I
Speaker 1: was twenty two. So at what point of dating do
Speaker 1: you tell someone that you had cancer? Or do you
Speaker 1: tell them? Do you want to tell them? So I
Speaker 1: feel like that's I don't know, but I feel like
Speaker 1: at some point it's going to come up. Save it
Speaker 1: for when they really had a common yea, wait, when
Speaker 1: they say something so shitty to you and you're like,
Speaker 1: I want to give a real answer to that. I mean,
Speaker 1: that was my really answer. That's why I have a
Speaker 1: lot of friends. I just want to say, what would
Speaker 1: be your goals for telling them? Consider that some point
Speaker 1: in life? I mean, well, it's something you went through,
Speaker 1: and maybe you want them to understand that you went through.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling that when the opportunity presents itself
Speaker 1: to you, you will just kind of know. Yeah, I agree,
Speaker 1: because if it needs something for you to tell them,
Speaker 1: and if you love me, you're like, I love you,
Speaker 1: and I want you to know that I went through this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll probably be like, oh my god, that's I can't
Speaker 1: believe you went through. That has a negative reaction to
Speaker 1: you for that. Yeah, yeah, Againning, It's a great screening tool. Alright,
Speaker 1: bad seeing you again. What's your question? Hi, Hi Runnings Victoria.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two. I just graduating my undergrad so clearly
Speaker 1: student debt great. Yeah, I have a full time job,
Speaker 1: like I worked four fift yards a week, but I
Speaker 1: just started stripping. Actually, welcome. I love where I like
Speaker 1: to start off. You know, like it. It's a great
Speaker 1: cap and everything. But how do you you like feel
Speaker 1: comfortable enough to tell the people around you? A great question.
Speaker 1: So I was comfortable enough to tell the people around me.
Speaker 1: I told my mother after I've been doing it for
Speaker 1: about a year and a half, and I wrote a
Speaker 1: list of positive things that had added to my life.
Speaker 1: And I also said I will answer any of your questions,
Speaker 1: but it might take me some time to answer them
Speaker 1: because I've never done this before. So if you can
Speaker 1: say this is how it has improved my life. I
Speaker 1: have a better body awareness, I make better money, I
Speaker 1: can pick more of my schedule, I meet awesome people.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is to you and what my mom had
Speaker 1: to do, And don't know how your mom is. All
Speaker 1: moms are different. But she either had to consider that
Speaker 1: everything she was told about sex workers was wrong her
Speaker 1: whole life, or that her daughter was a piece of
Speaker 1: ship and she thought, maybe I'm just wrong and my
Speaker 1: daughter is making some good choices. That's amazing that your
Speaker 1: mom is. And congratulation, thank you, thank thank you. Hello. Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Madison. I'm twenty four and as a sex worker
Speaker 1: and as a woman, I have a question. Have you
Speaker 1: ever reached a discrepancy or an issue would consent with
Speaker 1: a partner or with a client, and how have you
Speaker 1: dealt with it when when it comes to that big, big, big,
Speaker 1: big questions so many different ways. It's okay, we could,
Speaker 1: I mean, we could do the whole episodes about this um.
Speaker 1: So what helps is lay out your requests in the beginning.
Speaker 1: So I will tell a client this is the cause
Speaker 1: you're gonna sit like this or whatever, you know, flap nancer,
Speaker 1: you're gonna see like this. I'm gonna do this. Let
Speaker 1: me know if anything is uncomfortable, so invite feedback. So
Speaker 1: I said, a nice little container. And then if they
Speaker 1: start pushing on boundaries, it's a decision of can I
Speaker 1: make this work? Do I think or should I not?
Speaker 1: And I've been wrong before. I've had a couple of
Speaker 1: clients where it wasn't worth the money and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh God, regret that. So it's a learning process. You
Speaker 1: will make mistakes. And then with relationships, we don't come
Speaker 1: into them fully formed. You have to make mistakes. So
Speaker 1: the same thing with a partner. When you enter in
Speaker 1: a relationship, think about what are you wanting in your relationship,
Speaker 1: because this way you can offer it and you can
Speaker 1: find if you're compatible or not. Say I would like
Speaker 1: to see you a couple times a week, or I
Speaker 1: would like you to use a condom, or I would
Speaker 1: like you to tell me your screening. So just because
Speaker 1: you set boundaries doesn't mean people are going to respect them,
Speaker 1: but the people who do bring them closer. Yet's try it.
Speaker 1: Or I've hit a lot of people and that only
Speaker 1: happen one time and then they were like, yeah, don't
Speaker 1: do that again, and then I didn't. So because I
Speaker 1: think we forget a lot of times, like with with
Speaker 1: I have a like it's more often that I do
Speaker 1: something that a man is like no than someone does
Speaker 1: something to me and I am like no, And I
Speaker 1: think that's not the norm. Yeah, I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: I like, like I feel across the line right conversation,
Speaker 1: you can explicitly say no, Like maybe I can condense
Speaker 1: the question a little bit very briefly, like maybe you
Speaker 1: have a specific pattern when it comes to a committed
Speaker 1: relationship where you initiate sex and maybe you don't explicitly
Speaker 1: say no. But I'm wondering, like when you have patterns,
Speaker 1: whether it be with a client that's repeated or with
Speaker 1: a partner that's repeated and you have a repeated initiation
Speaker 1: of sex, or you know, it feels like you're going
Speaker 1: off a specific story if it I don't know, I mean,
Speaker 1: if I don't want you to email me and I
Speaker 1: want to talk more about this, I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: a pattern that it's it's come up in conversations that
Speaker 1: I've had with other people where it's like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: have a repeated, like consensual sexual situation, but maybe one
Speaker 1: time you don't think that it's right. Okay, So you
Speaker 1: mean like it's an implied consent. Okay, So you have
Speaker 1: implied consent with a partner, and then maybe someone does
Speaker 1: something you don't like, yeah, and then you don't specif
Speaker 1: you're not specifying, like I guess maybe do you always
Speaker 1: have to say no? Because your response is all where
Speaker 1: the basis was, you said no and you do a line.
Speaker 1: So for me, it's like, do you always have to
Speaker 1: draw a line or your line or yeah? Meat? So
Speaker 1: I'm not being like super I think, I get. I
Speaker 1: think I know what you're saying. You know when someone
Speaker 1: crosses the line, and sometimes that's not negotiated up top right,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I mean there's definitely times where people
Speaker 1: who have been through sexual assault know that it's better
Speaker 1: to just get through it because if you resist, they
Speaker 1: will get violent. So this is why people don't fight
Speaker 1: back and then they take you. You go to court
Speaker 1: if anyone wants to press charges or why didn't you
Speaker 1: fight back? So um, sometimes hopefully not very often if
Speaker 1: you find yourself in this situation where you're unsafe and
Speaker 1: you can't leave that situation, I mean, use your best
Speaker 1: judgment and whether that means advocating for that person to
Speaker 1: use a condom, even if you know the encounter isn't
Speaker 1: going to feel consensual, You're still like taking your best
Speaker 1: steps to protect yourself. Or if you're going on a
Speaker 1: date that feels very dangerous but you have to make
Speaker 1: five dollars tomorrow or they take all your ship. Um,
Speaker 1: you do the best you can maybe and have your
Speaker 1: check ins and take the job. And this is not
Speaker 1: advice I'm giving you. I'm saying these are decisions that
Speaker 1: people make. So if you want to be more specific,
Speaker 1: we can email me. Yeah. I appreciate you guys this time.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. Hi Hi. I'm Portlander who enjoys
Speaker 1: going to strict clothes from time to sign. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I would like to feel like the strip clubs that
Speaker 1: I go to are people by people who want to
Speaker 1: be there, and I don't know how to ensure that,
Speaker 1: and so I'm just trying to figure out, like, what
Speaker 1: do you recommend im. I'm sure that everybody who's there
Speaker 1: wants to be there. It's a good time for review
Speaker 1: So that's a tricky one because I definitely if I
Speaker 1: stopped getting booked at my current club, I would be
Speaker 1: so sad because I love working there. But I know
Speaker 1: that I definitely catch myself sometimes sitting again doing they're
Speaker 1: like like looking pissed and unhappy. Um read reviews like
Speaker 1: honestly read yelp, read online reviews of venues, and sometimes
Speaker 1: you can get a general sense. You could tell when
Speaker 1: people are like ship bombing also and just sort of
Speaker 1: you really, I I yelped before I go to strip club.
Speaker 1: Of when we travel a lot, I'll go to the
Speaker 1: strip club in the town, and I always look at
Speaker 1: the yeob reviews because when people do want to be
Speaker 1: there and everyone in the yelp reviews are like, Yovivi's
Speaker 1: vibe is amazing, I had such a good time, and
Speaker 1: maybe the food said but like it was a good
Speaker 1: vibe that will that will stick out? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's it's funny. It's like white people love snitching so
Speaker 1: much they invented yelp. And I didn't make that one
Speaker 1: up to that's something I saw on the internet somewhere,
Speaker 1: but but it's so should be or if I ever YELP,
Speaker 1: except for one time I left a shitty review one
Speaker 1: time because someone had a fake fingernail and my sister's
Speaker 1: drink and she's saying, I don't live here. Can you
Speaker 1: leave a review? I said sure anyway. Otherwise I like
Speaker 1: to leave good reviews on places I go because I
Speaker 1: want to support the people and I want them to
Speaker 1: do well. So read reviews. It's gotten harder after FOSTA.
Speaker 1: But if you can find any social media accounts for
Speaker 1: the venues, see if the people working there are posting
Speaker 1: like selfies and looking like they're having a good time.
Speaker 1: Um fun fact. My club where I work, Lucky Devil Lounge,
Speaker 1: their Instagram was just deleted by Instagram like five days ago.
Speaker 1: Oh why Instagram deleased a lot of sex workers account
Speaker 1: That's why everyone has a backup account on activated twice
Speaker 1: and they never told me why and they reactivated me
Speaker 1: and RUP sorry it's because I'm an out sex worker anyway,
Speaker 1: So thank you for your question. That's a good question.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the Lucky Devil, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: Lucky Devil. And to follow up on that, I mean,
Speaker 1: at a certain point, you know, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: like against like what Lena Dunham is saying, like, at
Speaker 1: a certain point, don't you just have to trust set
Speaker 1: set workers are adults and if they're there and they
Speaker 1: look like they're having a good time, then we just
Speaker 1: have to trust the truth that they're adults and they're
Speaker 1: doing what they want to do. Yeah, people do all
Speaker 1: kinds of look on YouTube, people do all kinds of
Speaker 1: things for free or for money. Like if you're worried
Speaker 1: about the sexuality aspect, like that's your hangout about sexuality aspect.
Speaker 1: We have a line. So all right, we're gonna get
Speaker 1: through you. No, no, no, keep going right. So I
Speaker 1: work in community health, so laws like BOSTA are extremely
Speaker 1: concerning to me. So what I want to know as
Speaker 1: someone that's personally been affected by that, ways that you
Speaker 1: keep yourself safe and if there are any resources that
Speaker 1: you use that you could direct people to, and kind
Speaker 1: of as a follow up, like how you educate people
Speaker 1: on what you do and why it's important and why
Speaker 1: people should care about it, why people should care about
Speaker 1: keeping sex workers safe. So thank you for the ask,
Speaker 1: um again a big ask, but I love it. So
Speaker 1: the podcast website Strange Bedfellows pdx dot com, there is
Speaker 1: a link there and I believe it's called a guide
Speaker 1: to Avoid Bad Technology and Foster Sesta era. But so
Speaker 1: my editor, my little brother from the internet made this
Speaker 1: and it's like all of the uh internet providers. I'm
Speaker 1: so bad at online stuff. But it's like technology you
Speaker 1: can use that's safer for you or not. There's resources
Speaker 1: on that website. Um. In regards to FOSTA and SESTA,
Speaker 1: we have to keep giving our elected officials feedback and
Speaker 1: we have to just fire bombles ship out of everyone,
Speaker 1: like every time on Instagram. I saw another thing today.
Speaker 1: This guy made a hat that said make Tumbler porn
Speaker 1: again and people are like, hah, that's so cute, and
Speaker 1: I was like, there's no porn on Tumbler anymore because
Speaker 1: FOSTA SESTA like say that ship, like we need to
Speaker 1: tell people why it's not like ha ha, where'd it go?
Speaker 1: It's like, no, really, we're losing our sexual freedoms and
Speaker 1: say that ship called their office, Like where do we
Speaker 1: say that ship? Where it counts? So there's a lawsuit
Speaker 1: by the Electronic Frontier Foundation e f F dot org,
Speaker 1: I believe, and they're trying to get Boss to overturned
Speaker 1: because it's a violation of freedom of speech, so that
Speaker 1: might be nice, But um, stay in touch again. There's
Speaker 1: so much more information I feel like I could give you,
Speaker 1: but we have like eight people behind you and the
Speaker 1: crowds getting wiggly. I know you want more drinks to
Speaker 1: get it. Hi, what's your question? Hey? How's it going?
Speaker 1: I just want to say, when Ali you were talking
Speaker 1: about making love with your partner and how emotional choked
Speaker 1: up it gets got me choked up because I feel
Speaker 1: that same connection with my husband. And so with that
Speaker 1: being said, we want to explore a bunch of different things.
Speaker 1: But one thing that's on our list right now is
Speaker 1: um hiring an escort and so here in Portland, how
Speaker 1: do we do that? Um? There's the website t n
Speaker 1: A look up t na UM. I believe that website
Speaker 1: is still active. God, you know I used to work
Speaker 1: strictly by referral, and I know people who work strictly
Speaker 1: by referral, So M right. And this is the reason
Speaker 1: why my podcast won't get hosted on like mid roll
Speaker 1: or advertise cost or like Google won't work with me
Speaker 1: because I'm facilitating sex trafficking. Apparently. Yeah, okay, that's a
Speaker 1: good resource. Thank you. Hello. Hello, I'm Stuff and my
Speaker 1: girlfriend and I flu from SF because you guys are
Speaker 1: finally on the West coast. Thanks, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: We're wondering if you could sign the book anyway, Forcember
Speaker 1: and we'll sign absolutely about for you. Thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. So did you put your show info
Speaker 1: for this is very personally No, I didn't. I it's
Speaker 1: it's I don't know if ill but I will though,
Speaker 1: but it's happening. Yeah, but it's not in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take another flight. I was like your afectations.
Speaker 1: That's sweet. I feel like you have to bring you
Speaker 1: a goodie bag now for the best. Thank you, Thanks Stuff, Thanks.
Speaker 1: I am so um. I love sex workers. They're amazing
Speaker 1: and I really want to become a stripper. However, my
Speaker 1: boyfriend is very insecure, and I navigate that conversation with him,
Speaker 1: and I also I'm all right, Crown, howtherfucker's Jesus Christ?
Speaker 1: Not everyone calls out the womb secure. Um, he's a
Speaker 1: great guy. It's just the insecurity thing. And also, how
Speaker 1: do you like, at what point is it controlling? And
Speaker 1: you're not able to live your life and do your
Speaker 1: thing and what should you do in that situation? Do
Speaker 1: you actually care about them? So again, it's really hard
Speaker 1: because people have to make decisions. So what I tell
Speaker 1: women when I hear this is you can wait until
Speaker 1: that relationship because no offense most relationships. Yeah, yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1: You know, enjoy each other while you can quantity versus
Speaker 1: quality of years or quality versus quantity years. That's the
Speaker 1: way we're raised. Um. No, America has a problem with
Speaker 1: telling people to stay together um when they shouldn't. Um.
Speaker 1: So I'm glad I caught that one. Uh So, what
Speaker 1: I tell women, I say, you can wait till the
Speaker 1: relationship ends, or you can say you can pay my
Speaker 1: bills for the amount of money I might make. Let
Speaker 1: me try it. If it's lucrative and it feels good
Speaker 1: to me. You have to trust me because I'm your partner.
Speaker 1: If I don't like it, or it's not lucrative or both,
Speaker 1: then I won't do it, and then it's a non issue.
Speaker 1: But if he's not even gonna let you try. I
Speaker 1: broke up with my last boyfriend. You said he wouldn't
Speaker 1: let me do something, and it was pierced my septum.
Speaker 1: I came home, I remember. Oh no, it was four years,
Speaker 1: four years of abusive relationship. I came home one day
Speaker 1: I had a stept in piercing. He goes, you look
Speaker 1: so ugly right now. I can't even look at you.
Speaker 1: And I was like a light one off. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm done with you. Sometimes those are great indicators of
Speaker 1: who person really is. I'm not saying it's your boyfriend, um,
Speaker 1: but also like fill it in. It's like when you
Speaker 1: have the same reaction if you sawt you would be
Speaker 1: like a grammar school teacher, like to strip weird he
Speaker 1: does not. Okay, okay, well that's better because they need
Speaker 1: to be a hypocrites. He dis right. Does he watch porn?
Speaker 1: He says no, but come on, okay, okay, So what
Speaker 1: they're dealing with. Yeah, there's a great study called a radophilia,
Speaker 1: a rado phobia as a dimension of personality. It's by
Speaker 1: Fisher and like four other researchers. It's from something good.
Speaker 1: It was hard. Yeah, I'm glad to do the Raspecially,
Speaker 1: there's a big gas study that says that people who
Speaker 1: have hang ups about sex tend to experience a lot
Speaker 1: of shame. Um, They're less likely to use protection or
Speaker 1: talk about protection, and they're less likely to do sexy
Speaker 1: things that they want to do because of shame. Um.
Speaker 1: So if this is how he is, you're working with
Speaker 1: a lot and it might just have to be a
Speaker 1: You're never going to be okay with this. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to go to work now and you're just gonna
Speaker 1: be pissed for six hours and I'm gonna come home
Speaker 1: and you'll call me a horror the next time we fight,
Speaker 1: Because that happens. People find themselves in those relationships where
Speaker 1: the boyfriend or the partner or the girlfriend or whoever
Speaker 1: is like, I don't like it, but I respect it,
Speaker 1: and then the next time you get an argument about
Speaker 1: the dishes and like sucking hard gets naked there it is.
Speaker 1: So if that starts to happen, if you like the job, yeah,
Speaker 1: decision has been made for you hopefully. And also there's
Speaker 1: a difference between someone like being genuinely concerned about your
Speaker 1: safety and well being and someone trying to control you. Yes,
Speaker 1: just figure out what it is. Because if it's a
Speaker 1: genuine concern, I think maybe it's just someone who's not educated.
Speaker 1: But if it's just like controlling, that's probably not gonna
Speaker 1: go away. Honestly, thank you, thank Hello. Hi. Hi, UM,
Speaker 1: my name is Elena. UM, this is kind of a
Speaker 1: difficult one. I have a friend, or I had a
Speaker 1: friend who's a straight male in an abusive relationship. UM.
Speaker 1: We haven't really had contact as friends for quite a
Speaker 1: while because about four or five months ago, his abusive
Speaker 1: girlfriend sent me death threats and I had to call
Speaker 1: the cops on her. And he was very understanding of that.
Speaker 1: But I know that he feels stuck and I don't
Speaker 1: know if there is you know, what are the recourses
Speaker 1: for a man who's in an abusive relationship. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know that she's abusive physically, sexually, mentally, so groups that. UM,
Speaker 1: if you live in town, UM, call to Safety dot
Speaker 1: org is a good organization. It used to be called
Speaker 1: Portland's Women's Crisis Line, which is gendered. But call them
Speaker 1: and see if they have any other resources to offer you.
Speaker 1: Because that's not my area of expertise. But I think
Speaker 1: the best thing you can do as a friend, and
Speaker 1: to anyone else who he knows that's in his circle,
Speaker 1: is just letting him know that you are available. Let
Speaker 1: him know that you were available when he wants to,
Speaker 1: because I I mean I. I moved out before I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, and I was living with a guy for
Speaker 1: a few months because I thought I didn't have anyone
Speaker 1: where else to go. And it was very abusive, so
Speaker 1: we talked about sex work. I was basically letting someone
Speaker 1: fuck me for a place to live. Um, and that
Speaker 1: was horrible. And I went through that for only a
Speaker 1: few months and I was able to get my druthers
Speaker 1: and escape. So that is something that he will have
Speaker 1: to do on his own. And just knowing that there's
Speaker 1: places to go help, but I would contact Call to
Speaker 1: Safety dot org. All right, thanks for rest, Thank you. Hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: Hi Wow. That was very beautifully deep and needed. My
Speaker 1: question is none of those things problem question. I grew
Speaker 1: up Mormon, as you can tell. Yeah, it looks it
Speaker 1: looks like yeah, yeah, I've really enjoyed myself in college,
Speaker 1: you know, like I really because you wear the ring.
Speaker 1: But she was the right. Yeah, my dad's family's Mormon.
Speaker 1: It was a really good time, for sure. But I
Speaker 1: think I'm tired of you know, the same potation. Asia
Speaker 1: is a great word, really good time. But I'm ready
Speaker 1: to retire, you know what, I'm exhausted. I want one
Speaker 1: penis I'm ready. How do I transition from a hell
Speaker 1: to a possible Wifeee? So have you ever done sex work?
Speaker 1: That is not my next option? Okay, then you are
Speaker 1: not a hoe and you never have been, so don't
Speaker 1: even ask that. Um. As a sexually prolific person, you
Speaker 1: can find another person you are compatible with and flourish
Speaker 1: who's sexually venturous. And you'll know when that happens. Because
Speaker 1: I can't tell you when you're in love. You'll know
Speaker 1: when you're in love or you know which is very compatible. Again,
Speaker 1: you don't have to be romantic in love to have
Speaker 1: great someone. And sense of sexual venture you get when
Speaker 1: you when you are sleeping with multiple people is really exciting.
Speaker 1: But then when you feel like you're over it, just
Speaker 1: know that you can find that set same exact sense
Speaker 1: of sexual adventure with one human. And I think you
Speaker 1: want to let them at the beginning to see what
Speaker 1: they're into and what they're what, what they like, what
Speaker 1: they like sexually sexuality important to them obviously that's something
Speaker 1: that's important to you. So nip those in the bud,
Speaker 1: like right away when you when you meet a person
Speaker 1: and there is something to like finding someone who also
Speaker 1: used to be sexually prolific, and having vanilla sex with
Speaker 1: someone who used to be sexually prolific as a sexually
Speaker 1: prolific person can be quite entertaining. Like that's what James
Speaker 1: and I did. We're like, we're both tired and like
Speaker 1: we know, we know how to doings, so let's just
Speaker 1: go back to you know, go back to one. And
Speaker 1: it was and it was really fun. Are you dating
Speaker 1: him now? I don't know your back history, James, did
Speaker 1: you come here? Then? Okay, guys, I'm so sorry. No,
Speaker 1: do you listen to the podcast? You just came out
Speaker 1: and you just were like, oh no, I got I
Speaker 1: got like basically recruited to come to that. That just
Speaker 1: doesn't happen a lot to Wow, thank you basically the
Speaker 1: whole entire second row like wasn't sure what they were getting, truly,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming, thanks for taking a chance on it.
Speaker 1: I'm thank you. That my my ex boyfriend of two
Speaker 1: years and yeah, that was just so much too. I
Speaker 1: dated for two years and yeah, so it worked out
Speaker 1: and certainly sexuality had nothing to do with why we
Speaker 1: ended up breaking up, so can it can work? And
Speaker 1: it was fun. It was like a nice to leave
Speaker 1: to know, like you don't have to. We don't have
Speaker 1: to prove anything to one another. Like we did all
Speaker 1: this stuff. We we and we're just tired and now
Speaker 1: we want to have like a you know, conversation about
Speaker 1: a documentary and fall asleep on a couch. Like there's
Speaker 1: fun stuff too. You can go backwards, so cool, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Three more, three more folks, let's let's hello, Hello sir.
Speaker 1: How are you good? You guys? I know what you're
Speaker 1: thinking right now? Almost made it waiting to hear a
Speaker 1: straight white male talks. Yeah. I don't want to so
Speaker 1: to you. I'm just performing for you now. Thank you.
Speaker 1: We're having a great time. You want to come on
Speaker 1: the cash the cruise. I want to say, interesting, I'm
Speaker 1: really happy that I wore my Dadas sports coat with yes.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to ask el uh as a patron
Speaker 1: of adult entertainment venues and such uh a standout, thank you?
Speaker 1: Thank you? So um having been like having seen situations
Speaker 1: where UH patrons are getting drunk and out of line
Speaker 1: and there is not a bouncer like immediately in range,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about other like male patrons kind
Speaker 1: of trying to come in and be I've just seen
Speaker 1: this situation a lot, and it feels really uncomfortable because
Speaker 1: I don't want to be you know, like, hey, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be the white. And then there's a
Speaker 1: question though, yeah, it's like do you want to hand
Speaker 1: I mean generally, do you want to handle it yourself?
Speaker 1: Do you want to rely upon staff? So staff in
Speaker 1: some of these venues is not supportive. I am so
Speaker 1: grateful the staff where I work is supportive. Um. But yes,
Speaker 1: it's definitely a problem and venue owners could do themselves
Speaker 1: a favor by enforcing like general conduct so that you
Speaker 1: treat all your workers. Well, hey, you know in the middle,
Speaker 1: you're being a loud um. I can't here, um, so
Speaker 1: thank you. So in general, that's really nice that you ask.
Speaker 1: I think, don't try to be like a rescue savior.
Speaker 1: You're not going to like make her a whole night better.
Speaker 1: But you could be like, hey, man, you're acting out
Speaker 1: of line. Can you cool it? And then be like
Speaker 1: would you like a drink? Or here here's five dollars.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry he was addict to. Honestly, five dollars is
Speaker 1: better than a drink because I don't pay my landlord
Speaker 1: and alcohol so um, and that does fe and that
Speaker 1: doesn't feel demeaning to give someone to say that. No, honestly,
Speaker 1: I would be like, I'm really sorry to deal with that.
Speaker 1: Can I give you a tip? We're here for money,
Speaker 1: and that's I'm glad you're here, and then you answer
Speaker 1: that question, yeah, that's how would anybody know if you
Speaker 1: do that? And that was can I get you a drink?
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's really nice, but like a drink cost five,
Speaker 1: seven eight dollars anyway, honestly in this economy, be like, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm suing sorry, because there's also saying that, like there's
Speaker 1: always um staring and stealing. So people that are just
Speaker 1: like this for hours and we'll never give you a
Speaker 1: single dollar. That's one of the most frustrating things. But
Speaker 1: it's really just like there's gonna be customers that are okay,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be ones that are awful, and then there's
Speaker 1: gonna be the ones that come out and like that
Speaker 1: dude sucked. Here's five dollars, here's ten dollars, or what's
Speaker 1: your stage fee cost ten dollars, dollars, fifty dollars. Some
Speaker 1: of these clubs it's fifty dollars and the HP is
Speaker 1: when you rent this state you paid. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: we pay out the end of the night. So like,
Speaker 1: if I had a rough night and there's a regular
Speaker 1: there and they're like, hey, I got your stage, be
Speaker 1: sorry about that, asshole. That's really sweet. And you guys
Speaker 1: can also give me money if you see me bombing
Speaker 1: at a show. So like, if you want to just
Speaker 1: leave a twenty on the stage, I also that's fine
Speaker 1: money as well. Give you money after the show? Is
Speaker 1: that not gonna go over the who next? Gebout money?
Speaker 1: We accepted question and trying to fight anyone in that
Speaker 1: blazer daddy be careful. Hey what's up? Hi? My name
Speaker 1: is Maddie and I'm a huge fan of the show
Speaker 1: and I've been meaning to email you guys about this
Speaker 1: problem that I've had kind of but I'm here for you.
Speaker 1: I know I'm young, I'm twenty one, but I've never
Speaker 1: had an orgasm before and I've been sexually excuse me,
Speaker 1: active for four years and I love your guys advice. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, don't feel weird or one is like,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's been people who are thirty three, thirty five.
Speaker 1: We have a friend who literally had an entire podcast
Speaker 1: that she created, who's certainly older than twenty one, about
Speaker 1: how she was not able to orgasm. So that's not
Speaker 1: You're not alone. Tons of people experience that, So it's
Speaker 1: not weird. It's not need to feel ashamed about, you know,
Speaker 1: that's first off, especially given what information that we're given
Speaker 1: in sex education by your parents about the clip. When
Speaker 1: was the last time you were a clitteral orgasm mentioned
Speaker 1: in sex said never, because that's a most pregnancy a male.
Speaker 1: A male's orgasm can cause pregnancy because they ejaculate, So
Speaker 1: they were given zero. So it's a miracle than any
Speaker 1: of you guys, any of you women in America. I
Speaker 1: just want to put that out there because so I
Speaker 1: was having sex for probably about I was having partnered
Speaker 1: I've been masturbating since I was a small child, because
Speaker 1: that's also normal. Believe it or not, I have been.
Speaker 1: I have been having partnered sex with a couple of
Speaker 1: genders for about ten years before I had my first
Speaker 1: partnered orgasm. And that's okay, Okay, I mean I have
Speaker 1: I think I have like solo like masturbation, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what you're saying. Though there are times where
Speaker 1: I was like maybe you know, so you little ones,
Speaker 1: you probably had some little orgasms. You are capable of
Speaker 1: all kinds of ones. I'm also going to say that
Speaker 1: there's people who have Look, I can jack off like
Speaker 1: five times in a day. It's really cool. It only
Speaker 1: takes me like thirty seconds a time. Chronic masturbator, I
Speaker 1: get a lot done. Wow, there's people like me who
Speaker 1: can masturbate and have a ton of orgasms. And there's
Speaker 1: people in the middle who have an orgasm sometimes. And
Speaker 1: I believe there's probably people who will never have an orgasm,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean you can't have. Hey, there's people
Speaker 1: that are never gonna shoot loads really far either. That's okay.
Speaker 1: I don't swallow semen because I don't like it. And
Speaker 1: guess what, I have a very fulfilling sex life, and
Speaker 1: I do all kinds of things, So so sucky. I
Speaker 1: do a lot of kinky amazingly might look grotesque things,
Speaker 1: but I have a great time. But so take some
Speaker 1: pressure off yourself. And also there's so many reasons why
Speaker 1: this can be the case. There's medication, even um anti
Speaker 1: allergy medication will dry you right up, suck you right up.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of medication that will impact sexual functioning.
Speaker 1: So and I would say too, if you go to
Speaker 1: um like it's Portland's so I'm sure there's so many
Speaker 1: amazing sex stores here and where, and the employees are
Speaker 1: like if you have you ever talked to one and
Speaker 1: said and told them about you know, this is this
Speaker 1: is my situation and that specifically, but there they are
Speaker 1: there for that here the types of organs. You can't
Speaker 1: you don't know what kind of vagina you have until
Speaker 1: you like figure out what works for you and what
Speaker 1: feels good and what doesn't feel good. But try. It's
Speaker 1: trial and error. I started masturbating when I was a
Speaker 1: child as well, because one day one year for Christmas,
Speaker 1: a family member gave me like a giant stuffed horse
Speaker 1: and I would like write it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll fun at and I was like, wait, hold up,
Speaker 1: and then that's all I did. Um, and I was five.
Speaker 1: I was five years old, So you discover at different times.
Speaker 1: So I would say, yeah, take the pressure of yourself,
Speaker 1: for sure. But if you go to one of those
Speaker 1: sex toys shops, the people who work there are so
Speaker 1: fucking educated, especially important you Portland. You are so fortunate
Speaker 1: to be amongst people who want to help you and
Speaker 1: and will not judge you at all. The city is
Speaker 1: an incredible place for that, so I would try to
Speaker 1: go there and maybe like like Karin is somebody who
Speaker 1: she does not like toys like any in terms of
Speaker 1: like vibrators that I had got an attach you with
Speaker 1: like an extension that it's like it's like a saw.
Speaker 1: So you know, everybody's possedly different, and you got to
Speaker 1: discover what's what. Have you tried different things or do
Speaker 1: you always try to masturbate like this a similar way
Speaker 1: or that's why I'm like confused. I've tried like a
Speaker 1: bunch of different You're anxious girl, You're anxious and it's
Speaker 1: mental man, because you could do you mean, you could
Speaker 1: try something like I don't know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get like but you like try like meditating and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. That made me think of other things besides
Speaker 1: because I know I'll test on this before. Like we're
Speaker 1: so obsessed with the actual sexual organs, Like there's a
Speaker 1: lot that goes into it, orgasm you put yourself every
Speaker 1: were is super super mental, so relaxing and um, as
Speaker 1: far as choice, have you tried the like I want
Speaker 1: to call it like clip vacuum basically the one that
Speaker 1: because that's the one that hasn't had a lot of
Speaker 1: success for who have had, you know, trouble orgasm? Ng um,
Speaker 1: if you message me, I have so many, I was
Speaker 1: all male one to you. It's because like I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't have in New York. Is too expensive to
Speaker 1: have that many clip vacuums in your house? Can I
Speaker 1: can I just ask a really quick question and we
Speaker 1: have one more question after this, but is there any
Speaker 1: who would hear if my run of aplause if you
Speaker 1: feel comfortable has never had an orgasm? It's okay? That
Speaker 1: is show do we do every show? But I'm sorry
Speaker 1: what okay? And I until you were twenty six because
Speaker 1: every time I do a live show there is there
Speaker 1: are women, there's all. It's mostly women who have never come.
Speaker 1: So it's it's so like we get that question a lot.
Speaker 1: So I just I just wanted I'm that exercise that
Speaker 1: I just did did not do what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1: I'm what I'm trying to say. You know, I'm so starstruck, like,
Speaker 1: thank you you guys has done so much for me,
Speaker 1: So thank you so much, thank you, Thanks for coming.
Speaker 1: Well wait, I want to real quick, but for you
Speaker 1: one more thing. You can go sit down if you'd like,
Speaker 1: but this is directed to you and at all. Um.
Speaker 1: Erotica really really helps because story is sexy. You know
Speaker 1: when you you you feel a fantasy or annticipation and
Speaker 1: you're like, ha, nobody touched you. You had a story
Speaker 1: in your head. So klice, I think I'm saying that right.
Speaker 1: Press c L e I s Press. They published a
Speaker 1: ton of erotica read some that helps people a lot.
Speaker 1: People with libido or or orgasm like challenges. Erotica helps
Speaker 1: you a lot because erotica again is different than porn.
Speaker 1: You can imagine more with erotica. Porn is fast. You
Speaker 1: can also watch The Secretary or Secretary a good movie. Hi. Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: my name is Kyl Hi. My sister is three. Um.
Speaker 1: We've always been best friends, and I know that her influences, Like,
Speaker 1: we grew up in very different environments, so I know
Speaker 1: that my influences have been better. She's had been through
Speaker 1: some heart of things that I have gone, and so
Speaker 1: my relationship with her I'm really proud of because I'm
Speaker 1: a very intentional about being accepting and positive and non
Speaker 1: judgemental on all friends, just all the time. And I
Speaker 1: know that she's I mean, my mother has like a
Speaker 1: lot of shame and just it's just very heavy, and
Speaker 1: I know that she's heavily influenced by that, and so
Speaker 1: she tells me everything and I'm very proud of that.
Speaker 1: But she's also recently been exploring, like I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's sex work, just like accepting money for nudes
Speaker 1: on Snapchat, like having it's like sex work light. Oh
Speaker 1: did I lose my mother? Is there? It is that's
Speaker 1: like sex work light? Yeah, Or like having encounters with
Speaker 1: men who have offered to send her gift cards or
Speaker 1: things like that. I'm I don't want her to feel
Speaker 1: like I have any negati feelings about that, but I
Speaker 1: do have concerns about I don't think that she has
Speaker 1: very many healthy boundaries for herself at all, and I
Speaker 1: know that because her right, I want her to have
Speaker 1: more positive influences and I want her to be healthier
Speaker 1: and smarter about what she's doing. Tell her to listen
Speaker 1: to my podcast, because I'll tell her how to do
Speaker 1: her job more safely. And if I don't know how,
Speaker 1: then some of my guests will. And also maybe that'll
Speaker 1: force her to ask herself questions of so if she's
Speaker 1: doing it for what reasons? Sender tits and sas dot com.
Speaker 1: Because the way you learn about the work is from
Speaker 1: people who've been doing it a lot longer than you,
Speaker 1: for sure. And it's not just the work, it's how
Speaker 1: to set boundaries in the work, because again, a lot
Speaker 1: of us come from places of trauma, no matter what
Speaker 1: work you do, and you will see people that set
Speaker 1: boundaries differently based on how they were raised and all
Speaker 1: that kind of ship. Oh, Thriving in Sex Work by
Speaker 1: Lola Davina is the book you should buy her. Thriving
Speaker 1: in Sex Work, Yeah, because there's a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: in there, how to manage relational issues, um, managing your safety,
Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff. But is there any instance where
Speaker 1: you hear someone's story or how they're going about sex
Speaker 1: work and you say, sex work is it is not
Speaker 1: right for you? I can tell us yes, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: worked with people where I'm like, this is retriggering you
Speaker 1: on a nightly basis not a good job for you.
Speaker 1: But that is their choice to make, and who's to
Speaker 1: say that the next job that they go to is
Speaker 1: going to be necessarily better for them in whatever their
Speaker 1: particular circumstances are. I don't make those decisions for other people, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I went to fred Meyer is a local
Speaker 1: grocery store chain around here as it fred Meyer the
Speaker 1: other day, and the employees that were ringing me up.
Speaker 1: I was like, Holy sh it, you guys, is this
Speaker 1: your first job? Literally? This guy was like, here's your
Speaker 1: blue and through it my bag. I was like, that's
Speaker 1: actually not mine. He's like, oh, chucked it over and
Speaker 1: it hits some old lady, And I thought, holy fuck.
Speaker 1: Do you should not be the first place? Yeah? I mean,
Speaker 1: I I definitely want to show her all of those
Speaker 1: resources that you mentioned. I I just know that she's
Speaker 1: very much like me, and that we're very independent and
Speaker 1: stuff or and if someone tells me to any kids something,
Speaker 1: because they should, I'm not going to do. Are the
Speaker 1: tools to empower to make a book? Leave it where
Speaker 1: she'll find it, Send her couple of links. If she
Speaker 1: wants to read them, she will. If she doesn't, she's
Speaker 1: gonna skin her knees until she figures out. Because sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to skin your knees and hurt yourself to
Speaker 1: figure out that you did something differently than maybe you
Speaker 1: should have. Um. Yeah, I wish she was you know,
Speaker 1: I wish I could like guide everyone safely into how
Speaker 1: to exist in the world. But there's seven and a
Speaker 1: half billion people in the world, so that's not so Yeah. Definitely,
Speaker 1: Thriving in Sex Work is a really great book. And
Speaker 1: then also I facilitate a therapy group for sex workers
Speaker 1: with a sex therapist, Angie gun here in Portland, so
Speaker 1: you can always send her a link to that too. Thanks,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I won't really appreciate getting some resources throughout the night
Speaker 1: where it's the best place of people want to Yeah,
Speaker 1: wanna thank you Find me on stripper writer dot com.
Speaker 1: It's marked as an adult site, so if you're in
Speaker 1: twenty four hour fitness you won't be able to um
Speaker 1: writer on Instagram if they haven't deactive it of me.
Speaker 1: My podcast is Strange Bedfellows PDX or Strange Bedfellows Podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for coming. Thank you, Thanks guys.
Speaker 1: We love you having I'm talking. Here's a little lacusation
Speaker 1: in your work. You tend to forget what work. I know.
Speaker 1: I'm not the easiest and we welcome with the new
Speaker 1: shoes of h my angel. I know I'm mistaking what
Speaker 1: it says. The ambo dies wheel change like whale. Deals
Speaker 1: are cry for you. Let's drift all my thrice for you.
Speaker 1: No more sense is arguing I just want to love
Speaker 1: you with the bars, but in and crume me me.
Speaker 1: I be waiting for you, waiting for you. Eat out
Speaker 1: like us and a phone, laid alkers and and a
Speaker 1: foe love you. Wasn't let me hone you ask me
Speaker 1: and I wrong one for you? Look your breakfast single
Speaker 1: morning we visit other dem a soon as you'll show
Speaker 1: all of my intentions. Was then left your question can
Speaker 1: we drop all these defensive I just want to love you.
Speaker 1: I just want to love you. Well you let me?
Speaker 1: Will you let me? You let me by way for
Speaker 1: you can be wayn for you dys