Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked Guys We Guys Book. Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karn. We're sorry about last night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello, fuckers, how you doing.
Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Guys We It's the anti
Speaker 1: slut podcast. I'm Karine, Christina welcome, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Make sure to follow us on social media. I'm at
Speaker 1: Philanthropy Gal on all social media. I'm at Christina Hutch
Speaker 1: and our duo is sorry about last night. NYT on
Speaker 1: Twitter that yeah, and then we post all our tortis
Speaker 1: because I know some of you guys like we were
Speaker 1: in Phoenix. Uh, well tempt technically this uh this past weekend.
Speaker 1: Some of you were like, oh my god, I can't
Speaker 1: believe that we were. You were in our town and
Speaker 1: we didn't know. That's where we're gonna post all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. So even if you're a little bit
Speaker 1: behind with the podcast, that's where you can find that
Speaker 1: kind of information. UM. Today's news story, uh comes from
Speaker 1: The New as an observer. It's transgender inmate is moved,
Speaker 1: but not to a women's prison. Uh. This is an
Speaker 1: interesting topic and an important topic, I think, and I
Speaker 1: also wanted to kind of do it today because yesterday
Speaker 1: was trans Visibility Day, and I think that's important. It's
Speaker 1: a great it's been going on for ten years. It's
Speaker 1: not really talked about, but it's important day because so
Speaker 1: much of what we hear about the trans community is
Speaker 1: unfortunately like instances of people being murdered. And it's a
Speaker 1: really important day because you can celebrate the community how
Speaker 1: being alive and vibrant and how strong and resilient, uh,
Speaker 1: they are as people. So this is happening in Raleigh.
Speaker 1: We know we have listeners there. Uh there's a prisoner
Speaker 1: who is transgender post op and she was being held
Speaker 1: in the men's facility for a long time. Apparently she's
Speaker 1: since been moved, but she has been moved to solitary confinement. Uh.
Speaker 1: And this is because which is not good. If anything,
Speaker 1: everyone eyone knows anything about solitary confinement, that that's where
Speaker 1: you go like fucking apes ship basically in a really
Speaker 1: short amount of time because you're locked in a tiny
Speaker 1: room with no windows. Yeah, and you're not able to
Speaker 1: uh just like you know, communicate with others or and
Speaker 1: that's part of the healing process. Again. In my favorite
Speaker 1: books that you've been publicly shamed. John Ronson taps a
Speaker 1: little bit into that and how important it is uh
Speaker 1: to be able to heal uh and be given the
Speaker 1: chance to heal, and that it's just breeding more violence
Speaker 1: amongst people if they're locked up or treated poorly. So
Speaker 1: it's like, if we're going to have a prison system,
Speaker 1: it should be a functioning prison system, not just like
Speaker 1: a cage for humans, and like unless make money and
Speaker 1: privatize it, yeah and so and so. Basically it's just
Speaker 1: back and forth with the state arguing. And because the
Speaker 1: state is still recognizing this woman as male, UM, I
Speaker 1: think there's one part of the surgery left. And I
Speaker 1: mean they might literally be saying, like, if this woman
Speaker 1: still has a penis, she's being treated as male. But
Speaker 1: obviously it's very unsafe for someone who is presenting in
Speaker 1: all other ways as female to be an immense facility. UM,
Speaker 1: you're opening up yourself to physical attacks, sexual assault. Uh,
Speaker 1: I mean you're changing. It's demeaning uh to to be
Speaker 1: changing in front of other people of a different sex
Speaker 1: in that way. So there's just a lot of things there.
Speaker 1: And there's been like twenty protesters that have been standing
Speaker 1: outside UM uh kind of on her side uh to
Speaker 1: get her out of there, and her husband's very worried
Speaker 1: for her safety. So I think it's just something to
Speaker 1: be cognizant of your in the Raleigh area. The a
Speaker 1: c l U is aware of it, uh and if
Speaker 1: it comes to it, they will be taking legal action.
Speaker 1: So that's cool. I dontate monthly to a c l U.
Speaker 1: That's one of the organizations that I feel like I've
Speaker 1: always been able to count on in times of moral injustice. Uh.
Speaker 1: And this woman is going to be in prison for
Speaker 1: nine to nine years and eleven months up to because
Speaker 1: she has uh set admitted to her crimes. So yeah,
Speaker 1: this is at the Hardnet Correctional Facility. And if you
Speaker 1: guys are more interested in that, you can look at
Speaker 1: news Observer dot com. But I think it's something interesting
Speaker 1: to think about because as times are changing and we're
Speaker 1: able to express ourselves in different ways, and you know,
Speaker 1: gender is more fluid in these gender based situations, what
Speaker 1: do we do? Yeah, I feel like, um, I think
Speaker 1: everybody on the planet, or at least living certainly in
Speaker 1: the United States, UM, feels like everyone's just yelling at
Speaker 1: each other all the time. I often feel that way,
Speaker 1: and something like any time an issue is raised about
Speaker 1: a group of a group of people that the general
Speaker 1: public is just less familiar with or has questions about,
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of times the knee jerk responses, oh,
Speaker 1: I I gotta worry about that too, And it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's I feel like that is because
Speaker 1: we are just so overloaded with information and then we're
Speaker 1: just on social media all the time and we are
Speaker 1: consuming content at a much more rapid pace. And so
Speaker 1: just a friendly reminder that you know, everyone's going through
Speaker 1: something and just because you don't understand the issue, um,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that it's another burden on you. It's okay,
Speaker 1: we're all human beings. We're just trying to make it guys.
Speaker 1: And with the prison system, like I feel like, just
Speaker 1: like it's not something that we can relate to because
Speaker 1: like most of us have never read to prison. And
Speaker 1: so then again it's just like that it's like one
Speaker 1: of these kind of groups of people that we like
Speaker 1: brush off. But well, yeah, and then man, research the
Speaker 1: prison systems in the States and that's a real nightmare. Um,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's being jail for fucking having weed. On them for
Speaker 1: like years, like decades, and after it got decriminalized, those
Speaker 1: people that had weed on them. I mean, also it's racial,
Speaker 1: but um are still in prison. It's just so fucked up.
Speaker 1: But um but yeah, yeah, and this is a black woman,
Speaker 1: so um, hey, let's talk about seeing us live. Guys.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be an in Indianapolis, Indiana, Thursday, April eighteenth
Speaker 1: through Saturday April at Helium, Boston, Massachusetts. I don't know
Speaker 1: if they're tickets left, but if there are, we're gonna
Speaker 1: be at the Wilbur Theater Friday, May three for the
Speaker 1: Women in Comedy Festival. I'm so excited for that gig. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's ads in like Boston public transportation. People were
Speaker 1: tweeting us today and we're a wonderful company. Nikki Gleys
Speaker 1: are also listed. Oh yeah, um Denver, Colorado, we're gonna
Speaker 1: be in your May sixteenth, of the eighteenth, the Comedy Works.
Speaker 1: Sorry about last Night Show, Sorry about Last Night Comedy
Speaker 1: dot Com slash tours for all of those dates. Glamour
Speaker 1: Pus in New York City, Myself and Wendy Starling are
Speaker 1: closing the April edition of Glamour Plus Saturday April seven,
Speaker 1: thirty pm at Zinc Bar twenty one and up. Uh
Speaker 1: tickets will sell out, so get them now, I love you.
Speaker 1: And then Wednesday April I'm headlining the Brokerage Comedy Club
Speaker 1: which is in Belmore, New York, and I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: Maddie Smith featuring for me, who is a ones are
Speaker 1: full up and coming comic. I love her so much,
Speaker 1: so definitely would I want to check out that show
Speaker 1: if you're in the area. Uh, And then off obviously
Speaker 1: Two Less Lonely Girls as always is on Spotify and iTunes.
Speaker 1: This week we talk about Jagged Little Pill. Back to
Speaker 1: that fucking article of course that Jezebel posted like this.
Speaker 1: It was a think piece about how uh Jagged Little
Speaker 1: Pill actually wasn't that good? And the internet fucking who
Speaker 1: was the person who wrote that. She's marry and it's
Speaker 1: a it's a woman, you're right, Uh, okay, she's like
Speaker 1: I would say, like a little bit older than me maybe,
Speaker 1: or she's oh so prime consumption time. Yeah, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a woman who listened to it in
Speaker 1: her youth and uh yeah, she's married with a kid.
Speaker 1: I would say a little bit older than me. Actually,
Speaker 1: but that could just be your haircut deserves. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know what her haircut is the same personal, but say, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm angry too, but some bitches begetting their haircut and
Speaker 1: it's not doing them any favors. Speaking as somebody who
Speaker 1: has had several terrible haircuts. UM, guys, this week's episode
Speaker 1: of Guys We Fucked is brought to you by you,
Speaker 1: the listeners. UH that is right. We are officially done
Speaker 1: with corporate advertising on the podcast thanks to Luminary, which
Speaker 1: heads up you can download the app for free starting April.
Speaker 1: That's when the app is gonna launch. It's gonna be free.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be like an iTunes or a Spotify. You
Speaker 1: can listen to all your podcasts there and then again,
Speaker 1: if you want to come on board with some premium
Speaker 1: content for us, you're just gonna go to uh luminary
Speaker 1: dot link backslash GWF and that's how you get our
Speaker 1: podcast every week uh ad free and you'll only be
Speaker 1: paying six nine a month if you join now by
Speaker 1: April two, you have to join for that exclusive v
Speaker 1: I P treatment um. It will available immediately in Australia,
Speaker 1: America and Canada and then we talked to them about
Speaker 1: a bunch of other countries because since we are one
Speaker 1: of the first podcasts to join Luminary, we're kind of
Speaker 1: like almost I don't want to stay on a board,
Speaker 1: but we they're actually listening to what we say. And
Speaker 1: when you tell us something um that bothers you or
Speaker 1: that you hope Luminary brings to the table, we bring
Speaker 1: that to literally the head of Luminary. We sat across
Speaker 1: a table from him the other day and we brought
Speaker 1: up a lot of things that you guys brought up
Speaker 1: with us um and things like scholarships or discounted rates.
Speaker 1: If you are someone who truly is struggling but still
Speaker 1: wants to listen to the podcast, I absolutely recommend you
Speaker 1: shoot them an email over at Luminary. All the contact
Speaker 1: information is at luminary Podcasts dot com and they really
Speaker 1: really are a cool company and they are trying to
Speaker 1: get as many people on board as fairly as possible.
Speaker 1: Um So, yeah, that's all I want to say about that.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, this week's episode is brought to you
Speaker 1: by you. So now every week, as we discussed last week,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be featuring as for free for female runs
Speaker 1: small businesses, because that is exactly what Christina and I
Speaker 1: want to do with Luminary. We started this business many
Speaker 1: years ago as sorry about last night, and we it
Speaker 1: has grown just bigger than our wildest imaginations could have
Speaker 1: led us to believe. And it's been so cool and
Speaker 1: so empowering, and it's really nice to look in your
Speaker 1: wallet and know that every single fucking penny in there
Speaker 1: you made from doing hard work and doing what you
Speaker 1: love and staying true to yourself. Um So, we would
Speaker 1: like to extend that same courtesy to our female listeners,
Speaker 1: because women helping women is such the you know, like
Speaker 1: a big foundation of this podcast, and we kind of
Speaker 1: just want to keep reinforcing that. Um So, thanks to
Speaker 1: everyone who's submitted. If you haven't submitted yet and you
Speaker 1: listen to the show, are a female and own a
Speaker 1: small business, it's sorry about last night's show at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Um So, this first person I'm going to
Speaker 1: feature is someone I've worked with before, so I can
Speaker 1: definitely vouch for her, which I felt was important for
Speaker 1: the first person. I've never met her in real life.
Speaker 1: I met her initially through the podcast, and her work
Speaker 1: is truly excellent. Um and This is the email she sent.
Speaker 1: She said my emails Jackie Maldonado, and I am a
Speaker 1: twenty four year old Hispanic graphic designer from South Texas, Brownsville.
Speaker 1: To be exact, as someone who has been a longtime
Speaker 1: fan of your podcast, I'm thrilled at the opportunity to
Speaker 1: expand my work and my services to fellow listeners. My
Speaker 1: work consists of album artwork, logos, posters, invitations, literally anything
Speaker 1: that is graphics related. I also creep portrait illustrations in
Speaker 1: different styles that make great gifts for couples, friends, relatives,
Speaker 1: even pets, etcetera, at a fairly cheap rate. As far
Speaker 1: as making the world a better place, I truly believe
Speaker 1: the passion for my artwork lies more within why I
Speaker 1: do what I do, rather than the money. I love
Speaker 1: making things for people that makes their business succeed or
Speaker 1: that makes their vision come to life. In addition, my
Speaker 1: portraits have made excellent wedding gifts, anniversary presents, birthday cards
Speaker 1: for people, and reading the messages afterwards or seeing the
Speaker 1: videos of people light up at that side of my
Speaker 1: work truly makes my job worth doing. My album artwork
Speaker 1: for small time musicians has helped them upload their music
Speaker 1: on wider platforms such as Spotify and Apple Music, and
Speaker 1: this in and of itself is just really awesome. My
Speaker 1: most proud accomplishment to date has been working with the
Speaker 1: Hid Girls, yes the actual band um in winning a
Speaker 1: contest that sold my winning poster at their show, with
Speaker 1: all of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood. This donation
Speaker 1: exceeded all of my expectations and it felt awesome making
Speaker 1: the world a little bit better through my work. You
Speaker 1: can check out Jackie's work at Jackie maldonado dot com.
Speaker 1: That's j A c k i E m A L
Speaker 1: d O n A d o dot com. Just sounded
Speaker 1: out if you If you couldn't follow that spelling um
Speaker 1: or on her Instagram, it's Jackie M L d uh
Speaker 1: and she says thank you for your consideration. I love
Speaker 1: you girls with my whole heart, and I'm so happy
Speaker 1: for your success and achievements so far. Um. Jackie's work
Speaker 1: is exquisite And I know you guys love when we
Speaker 1: do snarky ads. It's a little harder to do it
Speaker 1: when you know we're not saying fuck you to, like,
Speaker 1: you know, a stool that you push your feet on
Speaker 1: to take a dump. Um. That being said, I do
Speaker 1: want to let you guys know I've worked with Jackie
Speaker 1: many times. You've probably seen her work on my Instagram. Um.
Speaker 1: She she'll do anything, and I mean that in a
Speaker 1: good way, not a bad way. I will email her
Speaker 1: at like three in the morning and be like, Hi, question, Um,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of starting an online cult, like a pretty
Speaker 1: good cult. Like it's a cult, but like we don't
Speaker 1: do like we're not culty about being in a cult. Um.
Speaker 1: Can you take the taco bell symbol and my dog
Speaker 1: Alfred and can you mold those together and make some
Speaker 1: sort of a cult symbol. And She'll be like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yes I can. That sounds great. Um. And she'll have
Speaker 1: it to me within twenty four hours. And not only
Speaker 1: will she have it to me within twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: she'll have it to me in like five different color
Speaker 1: palettes that I didn't even ask for. And it's like
Speaker 1: above and beyond. She created the uh the cartoon logo
Speaker 1: for two Less Lonely Girls if you've seen those pins
Speaker 1: of rosebut and I um recently uh, Like it's just
Speaker 1: she's so professional. When I found out she was twenty
Speaker 1: four years old. Not only the level of work, the
Speaker 1: level of professionalism, um, how timely she is with getting
Speaker 1: things back to me, which is which is really important
Speaker 1: because everything is so last minute in my world. And
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, I needed I need to sell
Speaker 1: like five tickets in like three days. Can you do this? Uh?
Speaker 1: At three o'clock in the morning, she has me, a
Speaker 1: thirty three year old woman, emailing her like, Hi, I
Speaker 1: have an idea. I would like a show poster where
Speaker 1: I'm on stage. I look kind of like a whore. Um,
Speaker 1: and then there's diarrhea coming out of my mouth and
Speaker 1: it is spewing all over the audience. But in the diarrhea,
Speaker 1: you see the tour dates like these are actual things
Speaker 1: that I that I pitched to her, and she responds professionally,
Speaker 1: which I don't even know, Like God bless her honestly,
Speaker 1: so I can't recommend her enough. And also, um, lately
Speaker 1: I've been doing this thing where like if I don't
Speaker 1: know a good gift to get for someone, like you know,
Speaker 1: the person who has everything, Like art is my favorite
Speaker 1: thing to give someone. It's so personal, it's fun. You know.
Speaker 1: We all have a little bit of narcissists in US.
Speaker 1: Even if you think someone doesn't want a picture of themselves,
Speaker 1: like I probably ja like just get my small one,
Speaker 1: you know, it's really fun. Or if they wouldn't like that,
Speaker 1: they probably have a pet or a child that they
Speaker 1: would like. Um you can make a funny like cartoon
Speaker 1: for someone. I don't know. I just love it anyway. Um. So,
Speaker 1: this week's featured artist is Jackie Maldonado. She's so wonderful again.
Speaker 1: Her instagram is Jackie m l D. Definitely head her up.
Speaker 1: You will be very happy that you did. And the
Speaker 1: second business we would like to feature in today's episode
Speaker 1: of Guys We Fucked is Elevate CBD Cosmetics. A fucker
Speaker 1: named Brooke emailed us and she said, I work with
Speaker 1: a small team of women in Los Angeles. We were
Speaker 1: in a skin brand skincare brand called Elevate CBD Cosmetics,
Speaker 1: heard your recent episode offering promotion and thought this would
Speaker 1: be a great intro. Elevate is a new company where
Speaker 1: women owned and run organization. We spend two point five
Speaker 1: years formulating our products for our launch in January. We
Speaker 1: utilize CBD derived from Canada cannabis plants, but non psychoactive
Speaker 1: in all of our products because CBD is a super
Speaker 1: ingredient that reduces inflammation, reduces free radicals, and prevents signs
Speaker 1: of aging. We aim to both educate the public about
Speaker 1: the benefits of cannabis and provide accessible products with clean,
Speaker 1: easy to understand ingredients. We have a full line of
Speaker 1: products including a charcoal cleanser, collagen serum we Won't Get
Speaker 1: the tinted moisturizer Love that, and men's skincare and sheet masks.
Speaker 1: I'll love me a good sheet mask. All of our
Speaker 1: products are cruelty free, pairabin free and made in the
Speaker 1: United States. We can ship anywhere in the US through
Speaker 1: our websites, and we'd love to offer uh ten percent
Speaker 1: off to anybody in the the US who is ordering
Speaker 1: over twenty five dollars or more worth of products. You
Speaker 1: can use code GWF as the offer code. Again, that's
Speaker 1: ten percent off on orders over twenty five bucks. And
Speaker 1: the website is Elevate c b D Cosmetics dot com
Speaker 1: and if you want to look them up on Instagram,
Speaker 1: it's Instagram dot com slash elevate cb D Cosmetics. And
Speaker 1: she also concludes a note about the founder, Janice hardoon.
Speaker 1: She has been in the industry of cannabis for twelve
Speaker 1: plus years. She's a badass innovator and mentor in the industry.
Speaker 1: She also runs a new podcast called High on the Hog.
Speaker 1: So if you guys want to check that out and
Speaker 1: then just go to elevate CBD Cosmetics dot com. GWF
Speaker 1: code is going to get you ten percent off for
Speaker 1: orders over twenty five dollars. Yay, how are you. I'm great.
Speaker 1: That's good. Let's read some emails. Yeah, let's do it. Um.
Speaker 1: And before that, I wanted to just share I know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm on this like self help, Journey and CHET,
Speaker 1: but it's really helping me. And um fucking Justin Silver
Speaker 1: is recommending all these books to me. They are truly
Speaker 1: changing my life in addition to these adult children meetings,
Speaker 1: and one of the books is The Six Pillars of
Speaker 1: Self Esteem, which is blowing my mind. But one of
Speaker 1: the um, one of the quotes I wrote down. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna share quotes every once in a while in
Speaker 1: these intros because these are pieces of information that I'm
Speaker 1: really getting. Like the female mds, yes, exactly, we live
Speaker 1: some oftentimes we live more to avoid pain than to
Speaker 1: experience joy. Think about that. Motherfucker's seriously think about it.
Speaker 1: It might change. I just recommend Atlantis Morrissette albums. I
Speaker 1: mean that there's a lot of wisdom in those and
Speaker 1: like because you know, it was funny because I was thinking,
Speaker 1: like I always go through life and I've never I've
Speaker 1: actually never read a self help book. But there are
Speaker 1: books that I would file under self help, even though
Speaker 1: they are not categorized as such, including John Ronson, So
Speaker 1: you've been publicly shamed and then or like every Atlantis
Speaker 1: Morrissette album that exists, like I was, I was. It's
Speaker 1: just like self. It's like kind of like this self medicating,
Speaker 1: like the way like if you haven't been on an
Speaker 1: antidepressant but you've had a Last Love wine every night
Speaker 1: for the past twenty years. Yeah, that one. I'm getting
Speaker 1: into it. I don't drink wine, but I am coming
Speaker 1: around a champagne. Oh, I just make apperall spirits is
Speaker 1: like in my house now, which is the first step
Speaker 1: in becoming Chelsea him. But you don't have a three
Speaker 1: mile long driveway and ship in a mansion. Not too bad.
Speaker 1: I love her, but I think she would also admit
Speaker 1: she drinks a lot um. We'll do emails. You want
Speaker 1: to do emails person, they'll talk about a very weird
Speaker 1: personal things to your email with a quirky thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: single father of eleven year old daughter need first period help.
Speaker 1: That's the subject line. Hey there, guys, Gal, sorry, not
Speaker 1: trying to be ignorant, is all right? I just kind
Speaker 1: of I don't care. I was just listening to your
Speaker 1: podcast from Friday about different things, specifically period poverty. While
Speaker 1: I'm not in a position. In that position, I want
Speaker 1: to make a donation but also ask for some help.
Speaker 1: I have primary custody of my daughter, who not only
Speaker 1: just came out to me she rocks. It was so nonchalant,
Speaker 1: but she recently started her period. Her mother doesn't really
Speaker 1: respond to her or have much interaction with her. I
Speaker 1: have had a few people I was seeing offer some help,
Speaker 1: but at the same token, I have no idea what
Speaker 1: the fuck I'm doing. I don't know what kind of
Speaker 1: pads to buy, no clue what to tell her about tampons,
Speaker 1: or even how the hell to use them. I only
Speaker 1: ask because I have seen bloody sheets in her bed
Speaker 1: oh as well as uh the trash in her bathroom.
Speaker 1: Doesn't seem like she's properly taking care of herself with
Speaker 1: used pads or how to dispose them. Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: the kind of ship you never You don't know until
Speaker 1: someone tells you. I honestly have no clue what to do. Really,
Speaker 1: I just thought that I thought you were trying to
Speaker 1: do a call back to when I told you you
Speaker 1: can't flush tampons. That's what I thought. First piece of advice, Dad,
Speaker 1: don't tell her to flush champons down the toilet. But
Speaker 1: I'll get that. Let me finish this. I honestly have
Speaker 1: no clue what to do. I'm not afraid to have
Speaker 1: the conversation with her. We talked about everything, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to make her feel comfortable about something so
Speaker 1: private uh and could really make her uncomfortable going forward.
Speaker 1: I would never ask for one of you, two awesome
Speaker 1: ladies to reach out, but I am curious if you
Speaker 1: know any resources I can have her reach out for
Speaker 1: help to uh? If there isn't, is there something I
Speaker 1: could look into, possibly to help start up a support
Speaker 1: group for preteens going through their first experiences who may
Speaker 1: not have or feel comfortable speaking with an adult with
Speaker 1: knowledge in their lives. Thanks again for your the pointers
Speaker 1: you have keep up the show, um, and then he
Speaker 1: says some nice things. You've definitely helped me as a
Speaker 1: wasp male under understand a brutal the brutal world my
Speaker 1: daughter is about to face. Also, I feel, I feel
Speaker 1: your podcast is definitely helping make her life as a
Speaker 1: young woman attracted to women become easier as you are
Speaker 1: all helping shape society for the better. Kudos. Oh that's
Speaker 1: very nice. Um. You know what, Um, this email made
Speaker 1: me under realize that I'm pretty sure I got my
Speaker 1: period when I was eleven and my mom was real
Speaker 1: in and out mentally, and I'm pretty sure my dad
Speaker 1: was the one who My dad and I have a
Speaker 1: really good relationship. Like we talk about subjects, uncomfortable subject
Speaker 1: like he just talks about them like yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's kind of weird, but you know, get a pad
Speaker 1: like he's just he's usually surprised you in my experience,
Speaker 1: like they're they're they're a little uncomfortable with some things,
Speaker 1: but like they'll usually rise to the occasion if you
Speaker 1: go to them with a with a problem that you
Speaker 1: think maybe they can't handle that, or that they would
Speaker 1: feel weird about Yeah, so resources, I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: look those up and I'm gonna have I have one
Speaker 1: perfect I know the one, the best one for sex.
Speaker 1: And we wrote about in our book. It's it's scarlet
Speaker 1: ten dot com um. So there's one T. So it's
Speaker 1: like one word s c A R L E T
Speaker 1: e e N. It's sex said for the real world.
Speaker 1: It's a website I discovered while we were writing our book,
Speaker 1: and I wish that I had discovered it a lot sooner.
Speaker 1: It is progressive, it is inclusive, it is informative, and
Speaker 1: this is going to have kind of everything that she needs.
Speaker 1: And the woman who runs it is actually this girl
Speaker 1: named Heather corinna Um who I briefly corresponded with because
Speaker 1: I had to get her permission to use some things
Speaker 1: for the book. And uh she if you email her,
Speaker 1: there's a place to email her, and she answers pieces
Speaker 1: of advice, uh, questions and gives advice just the same
Speaker 1: as we do, but she caters to a much younger demographic.
Speaker 1: And so if your your daughter number one can read
Speaker 1: the website, there's a ton of f a qes on
Speaker 1: there and looking on it right now, and also if
Speaker 1: she has a specific question, she can just email into
Speaker 1: Heather Corinna and get some information on that. And apparently
Speaker 1: this this woman also wrote a book. Um it's called
Speaker 1: sc X, The All you Need to Know Sexuality Guide
Speaker 1: to get you through your teens and twenties. Uh, it
Speaker 1: might be that's a weird thing to get for somebody,
Speaker 1: but you could leave it around. You can just leave
Speaker 1: it on the coffee table, leave it out. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's how. There's a lot of books that I just like,
Speaker 1: honestly I had there was one book on sexuality that
Speaker 1: just like appeared in my bookshelf and I don't know how.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that was on purpose. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your mom probably, but I don't know. I think I
Speaker 1: probably just like got it as a gift when I
Speaker 1: was too young to recognize it and then later picked
Speaker 1: it up. But I don't know. Like you can leave
Speaker 1: it around it in a way, like don't present it
Speaker 1: on like Christmas because that is embarrassing, Like, don't have
Speaker 1: someone like unwrapid as like someone's videotaping. He cool, he
Speaker 1: ain't gonna do that. And also in terms of talking
Speaker 1: to her about it, I would just tell her tell
Speaker 1: your daughter like, hey, um, you know, I know you
Speaker 1: have your period, and that can be like an uncomfortable
Speaker 1: thing to talk to your I don't know, though. The
Speaker 1: thing is parents do set the tone with that ship
Speaker 1: because I, you know how I'm overly apologetic everything. I
Speaker 1: probably have a hard time having this conversation because I
Speaker 1: would be trying so hard not to make my child
Speaker 1: feel comfortable that all I would do is make them
Speaker 1: want to run away. But if you just say casually,
Speaker 1: like hey, you have your period and if you have
Speaker 1: any questions, you know, you know, you can always come
Speaker 1: to me. But I'm I don't have a vagina. So
Speaker 1: here's this website. I think it would be pretty helpful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think also offering making sure she's getting like
Speaker 1: high quality products, because I'm guessing like you're still having
Speaker 1: to shop together, and that's a big thing. Like little
Speaker 1: things like my mom, you know, pointed out the difference
Speaker 1: that that like pads have some have wings and some don't,
Speaker 1: and like my mom doesn't like wings, and like I
Speaker 1: like them, I don't know can function without what? Are
Speaker 1: they just going to magically stay there the tape against
Speaker 1: your vagina? No? And well, because she said they get
Speaker 1: caught caught and you like your pubes, which is also true,
Speaker 1: but girl, no pubes depending like as a young like
Speaker 1: when you're young, Like when I was young, I still
Speaker 1: had pubes because I wasn't you know, saving them or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I did not shave my my vagina when I
Speaker 1: was young, like nope. And so I'm again like little
Speaker 1: things like I'm not sure if she's using ads or
Speaker 1: like even like you know, the young get kids these
Speaker 1: days might be using things like Diva cups or period underwear.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think even like going to like Lola
Speaker 1: dot com. And this is not just because they're a sponsor.
Speaker 1: I truly like what they do. And they have good
Speaker 1: quality products because the things that you're getting in the
Speaker 1: store have are very processed and they have uh fibers
Speaker 1: in it that are going to cross micro tears. But
Speaker 1: Lola does this amazing subscription thing, uh and it's really
Speaker 1: really reasonably priced and so she can kind of pick
Speaker 1: out the products that she likes, whether it's tampons or pads,
Speaker 1: and there's also like wipes and stuff to keep you know,
Speaker 1: because during the period, you know, sometimes you need to
Speaker 1: refresh her especially during the summer and you can just
Speaker 1: put that on your credit card and then you don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about it. You don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about remembering it when you're at the store because you know, honestly,
Speaker 1: just my not. Periods are probably not on your mind
Speaker 1: as much because you don't have one. Um and that's okay.
Speaker 1: It's not like you're not part of the patriarchy because
Speaker 1: of now you're a great guy, you're good dad, so
Speaker 1: I think that is a good thing. And then it'll
Speaker 1: just come shipped to the house. It's really like she
Speaker 1: can just get the package. It's not it's not embarras
Speaker 1: saying period shouldn't be embarrassing anyway, but you know they
Speaker 1: can be when you're younger, even when you're older. A
Speaker 1: red spots. I've done that, man, I've done the red spot.
Speaker 1: I've done the getting up from the subway and you
Speaker 1: look down at the chair and you're like, but you know,
Speaker 1: you clean it up when you have a towel on
Speaker 1: you and then you don't use your shirt. But I
Speaker 1: think I've ever been embarrassed by the only time a
Speaker 1: guy pulled my pants down in front of a boy
Speaker 1: I liked, and I had a diaper. I got one
Speaker 1: of those pads from the nurse's office. Yeah, just it
Speaker 1: felt like I had a dick. If I don't know
Speaker 1: what it's like to have a dick and balls, but
Speaker 1: it felt like I had a big old dick and
Speaker 1: big old balls. Um. But anyway, I don't I've never
Speaker 1: been like embarrassed over period stuff. I just like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that I know we're not think gross, but
Speaker 1: I think I think it's gross. It's just like it's
Speaker 1: it's that. Yeah, it's not you're you're getting you know,
Speaker 1: it's not. Actually that's really gross. You who's horny? It's
Speaker 1: the period ships. Oh never mind, Yeah, it's gotta grossed.
Speaker 1: It's not great. It's okay. Did you have something to
Speaker 1: talk about? U? You would you want to read another email? Well,
Speaker 1: yes I do have one. It's called post pregnancy pussy Problems.
Speaker 1: No one warns you about. Our lovely intern Molly pointed
Speaker 1: this out, and I think it's good. Um the right
Speaker 1: high ck fairly new listener here and just quickly would
Speaker 1: like to thank you both for this amazing podcast that
Speaker 1: has helped me in more ways than I could have imagined.
Speaker 1: You're very welcome anyway, let's get into the puss. I
Speaker 1: am a Newish mom to now fourteen month year old
Speaker 1: baby girl named Harlow. Pregnancy came with the expected vaginal
Speaker 1: discharge and sensitivity towards the end, but no one told
Speaker 1: me the aftermath that I could expect for up to
Speaker 1: over a year after giving birth. When giving birth to
Speaker 1: my daughter, she spun violently, violently while shooting out of
Speaker 1: me like a T shirt cannon, as my twin sister
Speaker 1: would like to say, and tore my left side of
Speaker 1: my vagina nine ways to Sunday, and I ended up
Speaker 1: with a deep three degree tear. Tears are gauged one
Speaker 1: to four, four being vagina to anus, which I've talked about.
Speaker 1: That's like many episodes. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes the doctor will
Speaker 1: actually snip a little bit so that to prevent tearing,
Speaker 1: because like it'll give you like a little more wiggle room. Um. Thankfully,
Speaker 1: I was spared the fourth degree, but while exiting its
Speaker 1: hair spider webbed and I was told I was not
Speaker 1: interested in looking at the carnage between my legs, that
Speaker 1: it looked as though the left side of my vagina
Speaker 1: had shattered and immediately swelled up to something resembling a
Speaker 1: monster from stranger Things. Oh my god, girl, the on
Speaker 1: call O b g y N had to come perform
Speaker 1: tissue repair for three fucking hours. Thankfully, recovery went fine
Speaker 1: and I have no numbness from the intense tears. Now
Speaker 1: I knew my vagina would need recovery time after birth,
Speaker 1: but now, fourteen months after birth, I am still experiencing
Speaker 1: the aftermath of vaginal birth that no one told me about.
Speaker 1: I have lost many pairs of panties due to the
Speaker 1: constant and ever changing kinds of discharge that literally pour
Speaker 1: out of me at any given moment. I have gone
Speaker 1: to my O b g y N basically demanding an
Speaker 1: exam because I was convinced there was something wrong. On
Speaker 1: top of the discharge, there is odor and itching burning,
Speaker 1: full disclosure, just having a vagina. The odor, itching and
Speaker 1: burning is something that happens to all vaginas. I'm constantly
Speaker 1: literally like smelling the discharge from my vagina in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and I watched my hands after. But you can tell
Speaker 1: a lot about your health and my I'm just stopping
Speaker 1: to say this, but like my my O B g
Speaker 1: y N, she's really not into like any like douching
Speaker 1: or Adam and Eve cleansing kind of ship like that.
Speaker 1: But there is something called louvena which is basically like
Speaker 1: it's like a suppository for your pussy um and you
Speaker 1: insert it like a tampon, but it has a gel
Speaker 1: and just like any time you feel like your pH
Speaker 1: balance is a little bit off, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times you can tell by like the color of the
Speaker 1: discharge or the smell, you can insert that and it
Speaker 1: kind of like remoisturizes your vagina and brings the pH
Speaker 1: balance back to what it should be because I have
Speaker 1: like a very finicky vagina and that helps a lot.
Speaker 1: But again, it's like twenty bucks. It's called like lou
Speaker 1: vena UM and that really helps because I'm mind's always
Speaker 1: like it's very testy, you know. Um. Back to the email.
Speaker 1: After my demanded exams and tests were sent out, I
Speaker 1: was then told all of these symptoms were perfectly normal
Speaker 1: for up to eighteen motherfucking months after you shoot a
Speaker 1: kid out of your coach. It sounds silly, but I
Speaker 1: genuinely think women need to know this. I have made
Speaker 1: myself sick with worries slept on a talent preparation for
Speaker 1: unexpected vagina leaks and can really have sex with my
Speaker 1: husband since I convinced myself there was something wrong with
Speaker 1: me and I was gross and I stupid for not
Speaker 1: being prepared for this aftermath. Um No, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think the medical industry like needs to prepare people for everything,
Speaker 1: and you just need to know that, like, just like
Speaker 1: relationships or uh body positivity, like pregnancy is going to
Speaker 1: be different for everyone. Um, and so sometimes it's gonna
Speaker 1: be really brutal, and then sometimes, in the case of
Speaker 1: my mom, it's gonna be really pleasant. Yeah, you've got
Speaker 1: sometimes you're Angelina Jolie and you're like, I feel like
Speaker 1: even more sexual and I want to funk all day
Speaker 1: un when I'm pregnant. And then sometimes it's like Amy Schumer,
Speaker 1: It's like I want to I'm barfing all the time,
Speaker 1: right because I just want to. I want to always,
Speaker 1: like I always bring it back to my mom because
Speaker 1: I think it's really important that all the stories we
Speaker 1: hear about pregnancy and childbirth aren't horrific, because there is
Speaker 1: some and it's also just like more fun to talk
Speaker 1: about stuff when it sucks. It's more entertaining. That being said, though,
Speaker 1: I'm reading a book right now, caddling up the American mind.
Speaker 1: That a recommended and part of what it talks about
Speaker 1: in the beginning is that when you set things up
Speaker 1: to be horrific and traumatic, they will be received more
Speaker 1: horrifically and more traumatically. So you've gotta be really careful, uh,
Speaker 1: with stuff like that. It's like it's like also to
Speaker 1: like so, but like the power of attraction thing, like
Speaker 1: if you go into something thinking it's going to be
Speaker 1: one way, yeah, you're you're automatically one step ahead of
Speaker 1: it being that way. Sure, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you're like, you made a human being in your belly.
Speaker 1: That's insane, girl, human a person came out of its body,
Speaker 1: and that that blows about the pussy ship. But you wait,
Speaker 1: a person, Yeah, that's like the only saying that I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh man, maybe I should have it. Just achievement truly,
Speaker 1: truly and and and also like the window that a
Speaker 1: woman can get pregnant within, I mean, the most likely
Speaker 1: to get pregnant and it is just such a few
Speaker 1: amount of days out of the month that I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: what's kind of a miracle anybody's getting pregnant or something
Speaker 1: I can still can't tell. If I want kids, I
Speaker 1: have to meet somebody a life time and you have
Speaker 1: a solid decade. I think about it a lot lately.
Speaker 1: I don't know, well, I don't know why. It's because
Speaker 1: my clock is chicking. No it's not. I don't want
Speaker 1: to have kids till like thirty eight. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: keep thinking about that. But the other thing I keep
Speaker 1: thinking about their um I may I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: a video of me riding a bill though. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna lay it all out there, and how did this
Speaker 1: come about. I'm sending it to a person, just like
Speaker 1: as a keepsake. Yeah it's I was like, yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: not not for keepsake, but also, you know, because I'm
Speaker 1: looking my body looking good. It's so funny because I've
Speaker 1: um my, I'm not somebody who's weight fluctuates much, but
Speaker 1: I've been like I would say, my heaviest and probably
Speaker 1: twenty pounds everything I am now. But I'm but I'm
Speaker 1: at my lightest. I was probably at my lightest like
Speaker 1: a couple like a year ago, maybe, but I noticed
Speaker 1: that I'm gaining just like five pounds or something. But
Speaker 1: my boobs are getting bigger and they're like fuller and
Speaker 1: I kind of and my hips are wider and I
Speaker 1: kind of like it. Um So I like the way
Speaker 1: my body looks right now, and so I just want
Speaker 1: to stop and say that's the only gains weight in
Speaker 1: her tits and no, no, I mean I don't. I
Speaker 1: gain away in my stomach and I gain away my
Speaker 1: ties but also my tits and acid it looks really good. Um.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, I've been trying, like, uh maybe three
Speaker 1: times a charm, but I keep I want to send this,
Speaker 1: I want to do it. I want to send this
Speaker 1: video to a person um of me riding a dildo
Speaker 1: because I'm like, you know what, I'm grown ass woman.
Speaker 1: I have a dildo that sticks to a chair sc
Speaker 1: It's a suction cup thing and it's weighted so it
Speaker 1: kind of feels like a dick, but it's not as
Speaker 1: bendable as a dick, because that's why I like about dicks,
Speaker 1: And it's a little bigger than a But sometimes they've
Speaker 1: been in a way and then the person is like, Ali, oh,
Speaker 1: well yeah that and then then they gotta take them
Speaker 1: to the e R but um no, but this um,
Speaker 1: but I you know how I I had sometimes struggled
Speaker 1: to like be sexy in a photo. Right, that's something
Speaker 1: I'm understanding more and I'm more comfortable and for sure
Speaker 1: now my next journey is to be comfortable being sexy
Speaker 1: fucking a dildo. You know. It's it's really and I
Speaker 1: wanted because it it really does arouse me to make
Speaker 1: something to send to a person. Um. And the farthest
Speaker 1: I've ever gone in that realm at all was I
Speaker 1: took a picture of my vagina, um like, but my
Speaker 1: fingers were like on either side of the lips and um,
Speaker 1: and then I took it and I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's my pussy and just because it's so
Speaker 1: is so weird to take photos of my naked body
Speaker 1: because I don't do that, but um or specifically my vagina,
Speaker 1: like I was gonna was graphic photo. I'll take photos
Speaker 1: of my ass, but like not my cloud as well.
Speaker 1: Like I was like glad, I mean, I don't even
Speaker 1: think about it. I had like a I was like
Speaker 1: eating an apple in one hand and then masturbating with
Speaker 1: the other hand and then filming it. I put my
Speaker 1: Insta on hands free and then I was just like
Speaker 1: here you go. PM. I mean just like like nothing, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I'm trying. Well. I think that's the key to
Speaker 1: making any sexual whether it's a photo or anything. The
Speaker 1: person taking it has to be enjoying themselves. Because I
Speaker 1: realized I did I did take to last night, attempt to,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm trying too hard. You're
Speaker 1: making it trustful exactly, and I'm like, well, I want
Speaker 1: to come, Okay, I want to come in the video
Speaker 1: because also that's hot, because I want to if somebody's
Speaker 1: gonna send me a video of them doing things, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, oh my god, I'm so glad. I
Speaker 1: was some a listener sent me a video of them
Speaker 1: jerking off. And I'm not trying to encourage you to
Speaker 1: send me this guy's but don't put it wasn't bad. Okay,
Speaker 1: it wasn't bad. I don't even up. And it's a
Speaker 1: peniside deleted immediately. I don't kind of look at it, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and man, sorry, And that's just that. There
Speaker 1: was a guy he sent me a video of him
Speaker 1: coming all over himself and then a video of just
Speaker 1: him jerking off, and he's like, which one do you
Speaker 1: like better? What's better? I'm like, the one where you
Speaker 1: come over yourself. Oh boy, that was very sexy. Anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the key to making a video where you're
Speaker 1: doing a sexual act is being of legal age and
Speaker 1: also being comfortable and being horny and being aroused and
Speaker 1: making yourself calm. So like, what was wrong with the
Speaker 1: two ones that you just look like you were trying
Speaker 1: too hard? I was trying too hard. I didn't even
Speaker 1: review the footage, but you could sense it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: sense it because I felt it because I wasn't. I
Speaker 1: wasn't horny because I'm like, oh, the point of this
Speaker 1: is to like be horny and then show this person
Speaker 1: you coming. You know what I mean you're doing? Like
Speaker 1: are you doing a full I'm not. My face isn't
Speaker 1: in it? Okay, good thing. I was like, hopefully you
Speaker 1: read the book that we wrote. Yes, um, no face okay.
Speaker 1: So then I mean that makes it so much simpler
Speaker 1: because then it's not like you just wait till you
Speaker 1: were actually instead of like saying it's video time, I
Speaker 1: think you're thinking about in the wrong order. So it's
Speaker 1: like you're thinking, yeah, horn you gotta think horny then video.
Speaker 1: So when you are naturally horny and you want to
Speaker 1: do it, and then just turn the video on because
Speaker 1: then the face isn't in it. You're always going to
Speaker 1: be ready for it's like makeup on. That's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're always ready. Because then I was like I
Speaker 1: tried that, I was I realized I was trying too hard.
Speaker 1: And then I went and I went to watch porn
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, I just want to be
Speaker 1: turned on, right, and I wanted this person to this whatever.
Speaker 1: Uh And and you can even leave porn on in
Speaker 1: the background while you're doing it because that audio actually
Speaker 1: might actually add another element to it. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: great tips, great tips. I know you are. That's true
Speaker 1: for something. And then I went to watch porn because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to be aroused or else. So
Speaker 1: I'm not even making this this is that's um. And
Speaker 1: then I just came too quick. I'm a man. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Yeah. So that's that's a that's just a
Speaker 1: fun little I just it makes me. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: now I'm just like envisioning you like full I on
Speaker 1: a storead like on a chair, trying to like fuck up,
Speaker 1: I hurt my name, trying to suck my stool, trying
Speaker 1: to suck your stool and you know, the vibe the
Speaker 1: dildo it sticks on, so it's a suction cup. But
Speaker 1: then sometimes that sounds cool pick it back up and
Speaker 1: it's like, well, no, you guys, stay on this with
Speaker 1: your vagina. Yeah, but sometimes a suction cups adhering to
Speaker 1: the then yeah, definitely. Well shouldn't you be able to technically,
Speaker 1: on a good suction cup be able to lift the
Speaker 1: entire chair if you pull up? I don't know how
Speaker 1: have your chair is circus shot. So I didn't mean
Speaker 1: your vagina. I just meant like, as a test to
Speaker 1: make sure that you're not gonna and now she will
Speaker 1: pick up a chair with her Pussy's so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I just thought that was a fun little sexual thing.
Speaker 1: That's a new territory for me, breaking new grounds. Guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta be careful because my fucking dog, just like
Speaker 1: I was. I tweeted it, I saw you that you reply,
Speaker 1: Yeah it was, but like, yeah, I was watching porn
Speaker 1: last night. I went out of porn bender because I
Speaker 1: just haven't watched porn in a really long time, as
Speaker 1: long as your bender. I mean just literally literally like
Speaker 1: two hours passed by, and I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Because I was also procrastinating because I didn't want to
Speaker 1: talk about my emotions regarding Jagged Little Pill. And then
Speaker 1: I had an apperall spirts, and then it was just
Speaker 1: downhill from there or uphill, depending on how you look
Speaker 1: at it. And then yeah, I found this really cool
Speaker 1: one with like a bunch of like like punk rocks, rock,
Speaker 1: suicidety people girl people in it, and uh but they
Speaker 1: were having like violent sex, which was I like, but
Speaker 1: it was violent. Uh like no, like just like a
Speaker 1: lot of calm everywhere and rough not like blood or
Speaker 1: like no, not eating your own puke or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Like all parties seemed to be enjoying it, and everyone
Speaker 1: was of equal caliber of good lookingness, which I do
Speaker 1: use that to rate like how good of a time
Speaker 1: people are having, because like if some like beautiful eighteen
Speaker 1: year olds is like fucking some guy who's just been
Speaker 1: on set, you know, since the seventies, I'm thinking she's
Speaker 1: probably not enjoying herself that much. And maybe that's my bias. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the kind of horn I like watching. It's weird
Speaker 1: with like a young hot chick sucking a guy that's
Speaker 1: just kind of not gnarly, but you know, but like
Speaker 1: who like like frumpy, like he should be so happy
Speaker 1: to be there kind of and he is because I
Speaker 1: like seeing that. That's what it is. I love seeing
Speaker 1: the guy aroused, but like really aroused. I can't even
Speaker 1: like just it just feels like I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: here kind of thing like that. Those are those are
Speaker 1: the porn videos that I like. I need to be
Speaker 1: not disgusted by anyone in the video. That's very important
Speaker 1: for me. That's it takes hours to find something sometimes. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's that. Uh. And so I was and
Speaker 1: so the girl was screaming so loudly and dramatically that
Speaker 1: my dog started barking back because it sounded kind of
Speaker 1: like a dog barking. And I was like, and then
Speaker 1: I had to change in the video because you needed
Speaker 1: some of the sound. And like, you know, dogs hearing
Speaker 1: is so good that even if I turned it down
Speaker 1: really low, like he can still hear a place when
Speaker 1: I couldn't, Like, bitch, you can't trick me. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: really funny. Yeah, well perfect timing. Are our guest is here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we gotta go, but you're in for treat you guys.
Speaker 1: I like it. I like when the doorbell actually rings
Speaker 1: on it because to me it feels like Mr Rogers neighborhood. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm very excited for this interview. Guys. He's a stand
Speaker 1: up comedian, very funny human. We have a great conversation
Speaker 1: about all things dark, sad, happy, lovely. Yeah. He's a
Speaker 1: very complex individual and someone who I feel like can
Speaker 1: be can make your life better by listening to him.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show. Frankly Atti
Speaker 1: sound like he who's pleading. I know Evans with the
Speaker 1: decay end every weekend, we really need to stop doing
Speaker 1: like wants fill up in and love they told you
Speaker 1: you would, We'll find to send that. This is because
Speaker 1: more than you want to speak the sleeping and decent
Speaker 1: leading don't get Van Beamon Sack and Knows album get
Speaker 1: admit I'm reaching what super deeping sounding the stated running
Speaker 1: and soup with reason you think you'll beat abro by
Speaker 1: ass that you're seeking the same YouTube with me fist
Speaker 1: met to me give it in Yes sund feature. Oh
Speaker 1: and as you with the Deacon people in every Weekend
Speaker 1: the stuff and liquids charging you with dum find s
Speaker 1: pass before you want Sleeping, Waking, and you're completing with
Speaker 1: that album I'm teaching. What's okay? Okay? I mean I
Speaker 1: was asking. You're not telling you, Frank, you must talk
Speaker 1: at that exact level. I don't change if you use
Speaker 1: remind us any decimals you don't know at all. Is
Speaker 1: that comfortable way to say, well, wait because I'm heavy?
Speaker 1: No no no, no, no no no, Because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you don't have to certainly hold yourself up. You can
Speaker 1: tip the mic onto you if that's easier, like people
Speaker 1: do that. That's great? Is that okay? Yeah? Of course,
Speaker 1: I just like, I'm like, it doesn't seem comfortable to
Speaker 1: have to push yourself up like that. We're here with Frank.
Speaker 1: I don't know my real name is Vigliotti at the attack,
Speaker 1: so it's Leoti. I mean, who gives a ship at
Speaker 1: this point, I'm almost seventy one. Wow, you look really good, fantastic,
Speaker 1: and you're going off the slash punk rock at seventy one.
Speaker 1: Have you ever worn an eyeliner? Because I feel like
Speaker 1: it would look great. Oh my god. In the early
Speaker 1: nineties when I was a baby faggot coming in strang
Speaker 1: we use that. Do we have your permission to use
Speaker 1: that as a title as yes, nearly nineties when I
Speaker 1: was a baby, I'm not gonna you can say it,
Speaker 1: but I'm not saying it. You can. Do you think
Speaker 1: about that where because we had a couple I talked
Speaker 1: to a couple of people, some comics about it, Billy Eichner,
Speaker 1: I remember waiting on a somebody saying that word as
Speaker 1: a as a part of it was Kevin Hard, I
Speaker 1: think as part of a joke, and he was like,
Speaker 1: can you just not it hurts? But what do you think?
Speaker 1: He doesn't speak for everybody, and he's on trying. Kevin
Speaker 1: Hart also isn't really what I would call an ally.
Speaker 1: I go through phases where like God, it's just it's
Speaker 1: I go through the well, it's just words phases. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing, the Kevin Hart thing. My first first first
Speaker 1: open mic, remember your first open Micstely? Okay? So I
Speaker 1: did stand up for like three months in two thousand
Speaker 1: six and then quit and came back. It was two
Speaker 1: thousand nine. I was over twenty one on the list
Speaker 1: at Comedy Seller when they still had a mic they
Speaker 1: did on Wednesday nights and I sat there. I ordered
Speaker 1: a vodka soda because I thought you had to have
Speaker 1: a drink drink like a line. Yeah, And nineteen goes up,
Speaker 1: twenty goes up, and twenty one goes up to say
Speaker 1: I'm number twenty two, and twenty one goes up and
Speaker 1: he's like this about the fucking faggot was a must
Speaker 1: stoop Aids faggot, Aids faggot, Like there's no punch lines
Speaker 1: was Aids and faggot. And I remember I said something
Speaker 1: like clapping up for Derek he's opening for Liza Minellio
Speaker 1: at the Rocks. You never It's like my first joke
Speaker 1: in stand up. Then I bombed for five minutes. But
Speaker 1: my point is I have heard it's a cultural thing.
Speaker 1: I've heard African American men dump on gaze since I
Speaker 1: started stand up, and I think with Kevin Hart and
Speaker 1: Tracy and Morgan, if it weren't consistent, I think that
Speaker 1: people wouldn't be as piste off for me. Like the
Speaker 1: next week I was hosting in stand up New York
Speaker 1: and a comic gut on stage and was like saying,
Speaker 1: fuck l G b Q, whatever the fuck. I just
Speaker 1: left the room because I want to say whatever I
Speaker 1: want to say on stage. And if it's going to
Speaker 1: like hurt my feelings. It's stand up. I'm going to
Speaker 1: leave the room. It's not a Badminton batch, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean personally, But it's not about you, not
Speaker 1: at all. Even if the word is like, even if
Speaker 1: you have great reason to hate that word like that
Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense, it's not about your. Freedom
Speaker 1: of speech is the most is one of the most
Speaker 1: important things, and we have especially in stand up, especially now,
Speaker 1: it's really waning and it's it's like, who do you
Speaker 1: listen to liberals? You know, I want to be liberal,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to tell people what you can't say.
Speaker 1: There's a comic, a well known gay comic who does
Speaker 1: a lot of like high end writing and high end publications.
Speaker 1: Whenever I see his tweets and stuff like that, he's
Speaker 1: constantly criticizing what people write about and say, I would
Speaker 1: never want to be that person. He's also a writer.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's so strange writes he write like editorials
Speaker 1: and whatnot. It's like, I'm not here to be the police,
Speaker 1: and my stuff is pretty dark and can sometimes be
Speaker 1: what would what some would call homophobic. It's just my
Speaker 1: point of view and growing up in that community. So whatever,
Speaker 1: say whatever you want to say. So you think like
Speaker 1: I came from a generation where I mean the generation
Speaker 1: ahead of me would fight and pick it for HIV medications,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean my generation, you have to
Speaker 1: be careful or you'd get beat up in a parking lot.
Speaker 1: Like that's what they did on Long Island. That was
Speaker 1: fun Long Island, Faget's in the Bowling Alley parking lot
Speaker 1: and stuff. So now the generations seriously build a wall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they should build a wall around Long Island. They totally
Speaker 1: can you imagine you know what? People won't I woul
Speaker 1: might like it. They would totally like yeah. So it's
Speaker 1: like they're like all in the family, but without the charm.
Speaker 1: It's like predigested wild. But the new game now is
Speaker 1: like my prefid pronoun is they I identify as that,
Speaker 1: you know, people might consider that homophobic, you know, or
Speaker 1: um pandem they using day as a pronoun, would consider
Speaker 1: even though I'm one person and that one I think
Speaker 1: like if you're saying that you making fun of someone
Speaker 1: calling themselves today with some people might consider that homophobic.
Speaker 1: And I really like when I look at like, let's
Speaker 1: say the trans community and what those people have been through, right,
Speaker 1: Like I really, I really I don't want to hurt
Speaker 1: anybody's feelings. I wish that everyone would relax a little, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't have any I don't intend any harm
Speaker 1: to anybody that would. You know, Well, it's how you
Speaker 1: deal with two like with the social point of view
Speaker 1: from various aspects on homosexuality, transmit whatever, the fun. How
Speaker 1: you deal with that is through comedy and how you
Speaker 1: deal with it well through comedies by pushing the buttons
Speaker 1: of what people are comfortable with. And it's like that's
Speaker 1: my kind of like my thing after ten years in
Speaker 1: stand up, Like I come out on stage and they
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm like fucking with them because they're
Speaker 1: used to like, hey, you know what, You're not the
Speaker 1: kind of gay picture may if you if you follow
Speaker 1: may Ron Kagani and his beautiful sparkly jacket, Oh god,
Speaker 1: I love him. So when you come out on stage,
Speaker 1: like I mean, obviously I've seen your set many times,
Speaker 1: but like, uh, like, how how far in are you
Speaker 1: letting the audience know that you're gay? And what's the
Speaker 1: strategy behind it? Depends? Like if oh boy, sometimes I
Speaker 1: sometimes I own. Sometimes it's just crowd work. Like I'll
Speaker 1: start talking to a woman in the front row and
Speaker 1: I'll say that she doesn't look like she's on lexapro
Speaker 1: well be training at the end of the boyfriend looks uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I'm gay. I'm not hitting on her.
Speaker 1: I'm just talking about medications right like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you could you look like you could be in Yeah,
Speaker 1: man could be intimidated. And I forget that, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? But I feel like inside, I don't
Speaker 1: feel like this. Yeah, really what it looks like? Not really?
Speaker 1: Not like Sometimes I'll be like like I was at
Speaker 1: the Tropicana in the Metic City and I was on
Speaker 1: the escalator and I saw like this reflection in the
Speaker 1: mirror going down the escalator, and I was like that
Speaker 1: poor thing and it was me, that route of a thing. Like,
Speaker 1: I forget that I looked like that because I was
Speaker 1: always a hundred and sixty five pounds and then I
Speaker 1: packed on weight after all this crap happened in my family,
Speaker 1: and I just my whole physical appearance changed. When how
Speaker 1: old are you when that happened? And what happens started?
Speaker 1: I my folks three months apart. It was the beginning
Speaker 1: of it wasn't from cancer and stroke. Can you imagine?
Speaker 1: I blew them the funk up? But three months apart,
Speaker 1: Like the way she looked at me and he did
Speaker 1: the same thing, the real slow Menendez, the slow Menendez.
Speaker 1: That's a good cocktail name. Oh my god, that's great.
Speaker 1: I actually I would love like a killer themed bar.
Speaker 1: I'm sure someone already has a How do you even
Speaker 1: begin to cope with that? You know what? Like? Because
Speaker 1: it was it was like it was my folks, because
Speaker 1: they were together for a hundred years, and I think
Speaker 1: that they were so in love. I really do think,
Speaker 1: Like when she got sick, it literally like blew his mind.
Speaker 1: And you see, that happened so many times that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to think
Speaker 1: that that was what was happening, but it was. They
Speaker 1: were together. She would watch him play baseball when she
Speaker 1: was fifteen, like through the fence, horrible. They would still
Speaker 1: sit on lounge chairs in the backyards with their like
Speaker 1: feet touching and stuff. Wait, so how long have they
Speaker 1: been together? Total? They were married for fifty nine and
Speaker 1: they were together for like seven or eight before that,
Speaker 1: and they really dug each other up until they were wow,
Speaker 1: Like how what so so would they show the affection
Speaker 1: in front of like when you were a kid, what
Speaker 1: was their affection level like because everyone wasn't. I'm so
Speaker 1: tempted to say, well every day and then he would
Speaker 1: throw it through the wall. You know. It was very
Speaker 1: It wasn't like that kind of thing on the Brady
Speaker 1: Bunch where they'd make out and the kids would go.
Speaker 1: It wasn't. I never saw them get sexual. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: wonder if that's why. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if their
Speaker 1: relationship wasn't based on this hated passion sexual. I wonder
Speaker 1: if they were really like just loving their canions and
Speaker 1: not because sometimes I wonder if it's all about the heat,
Speaker 1: if that's when everyone goes insane the heat don't but
Speaker 1: heat always goes away. You gotta have that foundation. So
Speaker 1: they were just an amazing example of what it means
Speaker 1: to show up in love and what it means to
Speaker 1: not disappoint. Like if you say you're going to take
Speaker 1: someone of the movies at ten o'clock on a Sunday,
Speaker 1: you show up and you take them to the movie.
Speaker 1: That's so important. It's so important It sounds simple, but
Speaker 1: it's like, I can't date someone if I see that
Speaker 1: they're a disappointer, you know, because because you just you
Speaker 1: don't do that to be Yeah, so you had a
Speaker 1: really healthy example of I did nice because I always
Speaker 1: I always kind of figured in books and everything. People
Speaker 1: always say, like they're your childhood, how the environment in
Speaker 1: your childhood? Your parents set the example? How else are
Speaker 1: you gonna learn how to go about life? Right? So
Speaker 1: it does depend on how well just you're as a
Speaker 1: human is how I think. It's it's more it's it's
Speaker 1: it's more so how I treat my friends and relationships.
Speaker 1: What I want to do is have sex with everybody
Speaker 1: else when you get in them. So do you not?
Speaker 1: Are you? Like? Hey, can do we have to be monogamous?
Speaker 1: Can we not be monogamous? I'm learning to have that
Speaker 1: conversation as I get older. That's hard for me. Oh really,
Speaker 1: what I hear from my play from my gay friends, like,
Speaker 1: it's actually quite common? No, I can't. I can't do that,
Speaker 1: but it's okay, Okay, So it is so common. I
Speaker 1: can't imagine having a three way and people think I'm nuts,
Speaker 1: Well that I'm not into that either. But I'm saying
Speaker 1: so it's wait, so you don't want to be monogamous,
Speaker 1: but I would, I would say it, don't ask, don't tell. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't understand my friends who were like, oh, he
Speaker 1: gets off on it when I tell him that we
Speaker 1: had sex in our bad I'm like, are you on drugs? Now?
Speaker 1: They just have a cuckolding fetish friends. It's hot nuts.
Speaker 1: I like it, and I gotta say I do think.
Speaker 1: I do think in sexuality, just as in fashion or
Speaker 1: you know, even foods, there's trends, and I think right now,
Speaker 1: like it is trendy to have threesomes and to have
Speaker 1: open relationships like I really, it's just I'm not gonna like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say guys takes credit for that, but
Speaker 1: I will say we nudged him. What was the last
Speaker 1: sexual revolution in late sixties? Are only seven? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: think so, I'm pretty sure. But why does it feel
Speaker 1: not free? It feels more like educational. Well people, someone's
Speaker 1: always like I'm not binary and that comes with like
Speaker 1: an angry face. Well, it's almost like they're running towards
Speaker 1: this thing without even asking themselves how they really feel,
Speaker 1: because they want to be open and cool. But it's yeah,
Speaker 1: it is because when I played that little gay bar
Speaker 1: and Williamsburg Metropolitan, it's very that yes, they're without even
Speaker 1: knowing how they feel, they're ready to be on the offensive.
Speaker 1: Well that's what that's my point because I think I
Speaker 1: think sexual habits can trend because the more I like,
Speaker 1: the older I get, the more I realized people really
Speaker 1: don't know who they are what they like. So they
Speaker 1: just see something and they're like, oh, maybe I'll try that,
Speaker 1: and they just keep trying. And that's why you can't
Speaker 1: like it's not it doesn't really become a lifestyle. It's
Speaker 1: just a trend. And then when the next trend comes along,
Speaker 1: you know, they'll be like, you know, sucking blood out
Speaker 1: of a tube or whatever, and I wait for that
Speaker 1: one that was my fingers crossed next, so for you,
Speaker 1: you know, just because it's so you know, thank you. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: and also I think to just people, Yeah, people are
Speaker 1: more willing to ask themselves because there's so many outlets
Speaker 1: to talk, like podcasts and just everything that people are like,
Speaker 1: huh that person likes that? Do I like that? And
Speaker 1: it's just that conversation that can spark people. You know,
Speaker 1: it's as long as it's healthy and there's not a
Speaker 1: suicide rate with trans people anymore, Like that would be nice,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's it's what did I
Speaker 1: just watch yesterday? I was half asleep last night. They're
Speaker 1: all terrible. They never make it feel better. Editive bodybuilder,
Speaker 1: male to female, steroids and bulking. I don't know if
Speaker 1: the steroids park was true. I'm sorry, but I think
Speaker 1: he was taking to staster at one point I was yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's he's a trans man and trans woman trans
Speaker 1: woman sorry, okay, huge bodybuilder champion and they found out
Speaker 1: three sons. He was honest from the beginning. I've never
Speaker 1: heard anything like it, honest from the beginning. What's with
Speaker 1: these documentaries? Watch the Michael Jackson the day before, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, can I just get a documentary with that?
Speaker 1: Anybody saying I was raped when I was seven? Like,
Speaker 1: I just want to learn about cities or something. There
Speaker 1: are dinosaurs. I watched the nice one about Tesla that
Speaker 1: was pretty okay. He didn't seem to rape anyone. But
Speaker 1: about Tesla? Was it sponsored by Tesla? Though? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: not the car. The person who's test Tesla like he's
Speaker 1: like he's like he's like scientists, inventor all kinds of
Speaker 1: it was like, no, you know, I thought I was
Speaker 1: gonna be bored too. It had it, but it had
Speaker 1: a PBS vibe, but it wasn't born because he's very interesting.
Speaker 1: You guys don't like, wow, you really are documentary cars.
Speaker 1: And also Tesla is like a lot of the thing
Speaker 1: with that is like they're not because like that's what
Speaker 1: we're the one supposed to be equal friendly. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and Adam ruins everything about that, and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, but if you have a car and you're
Speaker 1: trading it in for a Tesla, you're doing more harm
Speaker 1: to the environment than just using the existing car. Really
Speaker 1: does ruin everything well, because the power it takes to
Speaker 1: buildates Tesla undoes the good that you did by driving
Speaker 1: the Tesla, right, And I was like, good points. Uh
Speaker 1: so the monogamy is not for you. But they give
Speaker 1: me like a long time to be honest with myself
Speaker 1: about that, Like I'm into my forties. Have you cheated
Speaker 1: in previous relationships? And I would agonize over it. Would
Speaker 1: you tell somebody years ago? Because I've always been a
Speaker 1: serial monogamous because of what my parents had to say.
Speaker 1: Downside of that expectation, so many of my friends that
Speaker 1: I know, like couldn't hack it when their parents were
Speaker 1: that example, like that doesn't like it's right, it's it's
Speaker 1: like they found each other. But for everybody else it's
Speaker 1: like good luck. Like they like they was like winning
Speaker 1: the lottery. They didn't have any money, but they found
Speaker 1: each other. And when I looked at like other people's
Speaker 1: stories when they were both in the hospital at the end,
Speaker 1: there are a lottery because I was always like, damn,
Speaker 1: why didn't we have a bigger house or this, or
Speaker 1: go on more vacations? Their lottery was fucking finding each other,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, don't look at other
Speaker 1: people for each other someone like really good friends with
Speaker 1: so many different homes and money, and what's lacking is
Speaker 1: like how do you treat your children? How do you
Speaker 1: treat one another? It's oh my god, I sound so
Speaker 1: like my defenses are down because I woke up late today.
Speaker 1: So I'm really I'm no childhood trauma, and I'm really
Speaker 1: into the idea that your home environment it's it's everything.
Speaker 1: And I have therapy at four o'clock today, I go
Speaker 1: twice a week, and she's trying to get me to
Speaker 1: drudge up ship on them, and I'm like, it's not
Speaker 1: that at show business. Twice a week. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I want to go twice a week. And my therapists like,
Speaker 1: you don't need it, but I'm like, no, I need it.
Speaker 1: I do. I had four deaths in a row, and
Speaker 1: for like nine ten years, I was blaming show business
Speaker 1: for being miserable, and it was like mode not totally
Speaker 1: and everything was like, why am I not playing the seller?
Speaker 1: Why am I not on Comedy Central. It's because my
Speaker 1: best friend committed suicide. After my parents died, it was
Speaker 1: like I was attacking my emotions onto something easier, well,
Speaker 1: because how can you comprehend so so your mother dies
Speaker 1: my dad my mom three months later of a stroke.
Speaker 1: My mom had cancered answer. She was diagnosed first. Then
Speaker 1: he had a stroke, so he was in a coma
Speaker 1: and died. The first one is like the hardest. It
Speaker 1: is weird losing a parent. Well also, I mean with
Speaker 1: a stroke, there's no warning. I mean, you know, I
Speaker 1: remember being like in their shower on Long Island. I
Speaker 1: was there for the day and I didn't have my
Speaker 1: contact lenses in and he opened the door and I
Speaker 1: was like blind and naked, and I remember going out
Speaker 1: that was like, those are my last words to my
Speaker 1: dad's and that's that it's okay. And she was like,
Speaker 1: do you want an English muffin? Do you? And she
Speaker 1: would call him vague because my last name is bigly Addi,
Speaker 1: And then I remember her saying why isn't he answering
Speaker 1: me like that's the real example of love. The screaming
Speaker 1: and they and then my sister was like, we have
Speaker 1: to take that to the hospital. And that was that
Speaker 1: he was in a common Then my mom died three
Speaker 1: months later. Answer, my best friend committed suicide almost eighteen
Speaker 1: months to the day. Yeah, your best friend of thirty
Speaker 1: two years. I met her in guitar class when I
Speaker 1: was in first grade and she was in third. And
Speaker 1: then in our twenties it started to get weird. She
Speaker 1: would babble and say things that didn't make sense, for example,
Speaker 1: the sort of punk rocky all girl banded The Runaways.
Speaker 1: She would say, why do you love the Runaways? And
Speaker 1: I was like, huh, because you have black hair and
Speaker 1: I have blonde hair, and Joe Jed had black hair.
Speaker 1: And Shrek career, Like it's like, Ellen, you're not making
Speaker 1: any sense. What are you talking about. She has something
Speaker 1: called schizo effective disorder schizophrenia on top of depression, and
Speaker 1: that coupled with a tumultuous upbreaking in a loveless family
Speaker 1: was just like a recipe for disaster. Was there anything
Speaker 1: like did she was it? She was to be medicated
Speaker 1: or it was like the first time there was an
Speaker 1: incident it was and it's here's a girl who, from
Speaker 1: the minute I knew her, was an avid animal lover
Speaker 1: and always contributed what little waitressing money she had to
Speaker 1: the Humane Society and whatnot. And the voices told her
Speaker 1: on an Easter Sunday to go and kill a rabbit
Speaker 1: because she thought that if she did that, her life
Speaker 1: would be sacrificed and she'd be left alone and healed.
Speaker 1: That's how strong the sickness is. And she went into
Speaker 1: a school field and did that, and that was the
Speaker 1: first time she was hospitalized. I always say that that's
Speaker 1: the first time I lost my friend when she first
Speaker 1: went on medication, because it was so like. I went
Speaker 1: to visit her, the girl who was class clown in
Speaker 1: high school and best actress in the superlatives and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And it was that weird kind of person with a sickness,
Speaker 1: with kind of an ungodly talent. It was weird that good.
Speaker 1: And I remember her like sidling up to me in
Speaker 1: the mental institution and saying, I gotta get out of
Speaker 1: here in a cigarette, get out of here. What are you,
Speaker 1: Hank Aaron. It was like this weird kind of like
Speaker 1: it was this medicated haze, and it was just it
Speaker 1: was hard mental illnesses. Nuts. Yeah, and so many people
Speaker 1: suffer from it. And that's why I think creative people,
Speaker 1: especially are so scared to get medicated because of stories
Speaker 1: like that, where it's like you go from you know,
Speaker 1: like feeling quote unquote crazy to then or just acting irrationally,
Speaker 1: to then just being a watered down version of your Yes,
Speaker 1: I cannot agree with you more. And I had heard
Speaker 1: for years. I remember being in grad school sitting in like, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know those little cobblestony window vestibule things, and
Speaker 1: I was sobbing and one of the speech teachers was like,
Speaker 1: go on medication, and I was like, no, it's going
Speaker 1: to ruin my work. It's gonna I was in drama school,
Speaker 1: graduate school because I was. Because you spend your the
Speaker 1: same fourteen people with the same factult for three years,
Speaker 1: that enough to go. Yeah. Well, but it took me
Speaker 1: twenty something years seeing one of my sisters zombied out
Speaker 1: on prozac for a long time and not changing her meds,
Speaker 1: seeing the other sister die and ignore her illness because
Speaker 1: she should have been on meds. And I just went
Speaker 1: on something finally, and it changed my life. Okay, you
Speaker 1: had a great experience and you're still on him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, will I love them? Yeah? Okay, snort
Speaker 1: them seriously. Thought to say that to people who are creatives,
Speaker 1: who are like, oh, it's gonna ruin everything. It doesn't
Speaker 1: ruin everything. It makes me not stare at the wood
Speaker 1: floor when I'm at comedy cellar and become socially in pain.
Speaker 1: It makes me like some days I couldn't get on
Speaker 1: stage because my body would literally feel like I had
Speaker 1: dumbbells on me, like I was so heavy. It's like
Speaker 1: a physical thing depression. This is maybe some people use
Speaker 1: it as a quick fix, but I needed it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: From Jessica Gerston, she was like, go fucking look at
Speaker 1: ship and get on something. And then it changed my
Speaker 1: life look at like that's a comic comics comic and
Speaker 1: that is you know what I'm saying for her to
Speaker 1: like talk about that with me and we talk about
Speaker 1: it on stage. Yeah, both of us do medication. It's
Speaker 1: it's changed my life. That's great. It's good to hear. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have I don't. I didn't never really had
Speaker 1: as many positive examples of people going on bed, So
Speaker 1: it's nice to hear that it can work well. And
Speaker 1: it's the same as with anything with any doctor, you know,
Speaker 1: we always are advocates for Like, yeah, just like anything,
Speaker 1: there's trial and error, and like if you're on something
Speaker 1: and it's making you feel worse than before, or you
Speaker 1: know something like I know there's weight gain or you
Speaker 1: feel just completely numbs sometimes like you have to like
Speaker 1: tinker around with it a bit with a doctor who
Speaker 1: is willing to do that for you. Because like Brodie
Speaker 1: Stevens who just took his own life in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: I mean the story was like he was on you know,
Speaker 1: anti depressants and then went off them kind of I think,
Speaker 1: kind of abruptly and then ended up. You can't. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's different totally. Yeah, talking about my friend Ellen had schizophrenia,
Speaker 1: and those meds make me say, like, what are we
Speaker 1: in the fifties? Because she became this zombie. It made her.
Speaker 1: She would go off of them and she was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I couldn't do the New York Times
Speaker 1: Crosswood puzzle again. Or like Brodie's level of meds, he
Speaker 1: probably literally did feel like something that was like literally
Speaker 1: snipped or castrated or a flower of coming out of
Speaker 1: the ground. It was cut like that hardcore kind of
Speaker 1: illness I'm talking about. I should have clarified because I'm
Speaker 1: talking about my own depression in the same breath that
Speaker 1: I was talking about my best friend schizophrenia. That's a
Speaker 1: different and also the depression is varying levels two and
Speaker 1: peplutely so unlucky in that it's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't feel like like I don't feel happy. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be a comic. I'd go fucking be a beautician. But
Speaker 1: that's kind of out in your personality. I think I
Speaker 1: think people think like happy is like the norm, and
Speaker 1: even like and even like a mental health expert would
Speaker 1: be like, no, like content is actually the norm. Happy
Speaker 1: is like a high. Yeah, you know, we all know
Speaker 1: that one happy, Like shut the funk up, get that smile.
Speaker 1: That's a really interesting point. Content is the norm? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: because I had a cover because you know, like I
Speaker 1: went in uh to see my therapist time. Mom My.
Speaker 1: Mom's like, you talk about it a lot. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's fun um and uh, well no, just because
Speaker 1: it's new really is why I'm talking about a lot.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, it's like a new boyfriend, but
Speaker 1: it's a girl named Kirsten um so uh and I
Speaker 1: and she was like, what do you want out of
Speaker 1: this experience? And I was like, just to be happy?
Speaker 1: And she was like, how about content? And and so
Speaker 1: like that was kind of like the discussion where it
Speaker 1: went into it. And but like for me even like
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm just not a person who's
Speaker 1: ever going to be happy with content. But that's also
Speaker 1: probably why I would never be happy, you know, because
Speaker 1: I'm always striving for like that like rocket ship. That's
Speaker 1: why you know, I like to date addicts and things
Speaker 1: like that. People who really like go for like a thrill.
Speaker 1: I feel like happiness should be reserved for choice moments
Speaker 1: in life though, for sure, And like I know what
Speaker 1: she means by content can really enjoy it. Me sitting
Speaker 1: on my couch with my dog watching and practical Jokers,
Speaker 1: that's content. And so if most moments are like that,
Speaker 1: and then there's peaks of happiness and of course sorrow
Speaker 1: because that balances everything. It makes you appreciate the happy,
Speaker 1: that's cool with me. I guess I'm gonn step ahead
Speaker 1: of the game. Then, because I've I've been feeling more content,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I'm never going to be happy unless
Speaker 1: I think we're obsessed with happy. And then for me,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm also very affected by like the media
Speaker 1: I take in happy and this is trending. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: and so like you know, if you're watching a movie
Speaker 1: or something, like you know the moment that we all
Speaker 1: want to continually achieve is like that moment where they
Speaker 1: fall in love or the moment where they achieve something,
Speaker 1: and so like that's the happy birth. But every moment
Speaker 1: can't be like that. You would feel crazy all the time.
Speaker 1: Like talk about the stuff that I've been watching lately,
Speaker 1: and what did I start? Everybody loved Stranger Things, And
Speaker 1: I realized the other day I was like, I'm so
Speaker 1: used to like out what was the ozarks and sharp edges.
Speaker 1: What was the sharp objects? Oh yeah, what was it roma?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I didn't see that. It's the dead baby.
Speaker 1: I'm so used to like horrific images. Yeah, um no,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. It's it was just sleeping for a long
Speaker 1: time after. But I'm like, god, you cut that out.
Speaker 1: I do spoil it. Oh your main concerns that you
Speaker 1: spoiled the TV show for someone The best picture of
Speaker 1: the far in film lef Roma. I'm so used to
Speaker 1: these dark, dark, dark dark shows that like, what was
Speaker 1: it the science fiction thing everyone liked? It wasn't like
Speaker 1: strong enough because the images on these everything, everything on
Speaker 1: HBO and Netflix is so dark. Yeah, oh yeah absolutely,
Speaker 1: But like, um, that dark ship happens in life. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm so I'm comfortable with like in our inbox
Speaker 1: coroninized email inbox from listeners. I mean, you could read
Speaker 1: some of the darkest shit I've ever I couldn't even write,
Speaker 1: like make it up, some of the darkest things that
Speaker 1: could ever happen into a human being in detail. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, you know what, that's life, and I
Speaker 1: don't know it's life, and you know, like you know,
Speaker 1: they say you're not supposed to have any regrets. Oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: one regrets. No. I don't know if I believe that
Speaker 1: it's just a bumper sticker thing that I've heard forever,
Speaker 1: But I do say this, like when my best friend
Speaker 1: took her life, I regret that I walked through some
Speaker 1: of the darkest recesses of human existence. That sounds like
Speaker 1: hoity toity, but I don't mean it too. How do
Speaker 1: you mean? What do you mean? Like? In other words,
Speaker 1: she here was somebody that I knew since we were
Speaker 1: little kids. She was my memory, and then she lied
Speaker 1: down in traffic on the Northern State Park. And when
Speaker 1: I look at like what we're capable of and the
Speaker 1: places that we can go, I wish that I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. I wish that it was just an HBO
Speaker 1: thing or a Netflix thing in my head. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just wish I hadn't been exposed to that. I remember
Speaker 1: when my sister had kids, she was like, I want
Speaker 1: to keep them innocent for as long as possible, And
Speaker 1: it really is kind of like there's something to living
Speaker 1: like an ostrich with your head in the sand. A
Speaker 1: little bit. I wish that I didn't know that those existed. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I I'm an artist. So, um, question about
Speaker 1: your depression medication? Does it affect your boner? Um? More
Speaker 1: so sex drive? Okay, I just started talking about it
Speaker 1: on Yeah, So what is it? What is the effect? Like? Hey,
Speaker 1: where are you? What's going on? My penis would be like,
Speaker 1: don't I know? You have such a good time? I'm
Speaker 1: not sleeping, I'm resting my eye. It does? It does.
Speaker 1: One of the pills is supposed to counteract that and
Speaker 1: make your horny again or just and block whatever. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: in week one is an ssr RYE that works on
Speaker 1: that chemical and the other word, like two different things
Speaker 1: in the head. I take two pills. So is your
Speaker 1: how's your sex drive now strong? Oh? Now I'm curious
Speaker 1: about were Um you're you're not. You don't seem to
Speaker 1: be built for monogaby, even though I understand why you're
Speaker 1: senior relationship. That's very It's like it got stronger and
Speaker 1: stronger after I lost four people my parents, my best friend,
Speaker 1: and my sister. We stuck cancer. So at four in
Speaker 1: a row, that's right when I started comedy. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: I mean I lost a lot of years though I
Speaker 1: think that like most of I think that I'm lucky
Speaker 1: and that so many of my stand up friends really
Speaker 1: like took off early and have taken care of me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They That's why it's you got to be a nice person,
Speaker 1: because they're going to give you work on the arts nobody,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Also, and also like comedy,
Speaker 1: the camaraderie and comedy with the comics that you love
Speaker 1: and you could joke about, you got to be a giver.
Speaker 1: But I think I lost a good six years out
Speaker 1: of the ten because my brain was like in such
Speaker 1: a dark place and I just had four deaths when
Speaker 1: I started, and I would like show up and people
Speaker 1: would say make fun of me being angry, But that
Speaker 1: wasn't me being angry. That was me being quiet and
Speaker 1: my face was just staring at the ground because I
Speaker 1: think I was in shock still. Yeah, but I didn't
Speaker 1: realize that after all this therapy and ship ten years later,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Well, it's also because I
Speaker 1: think it's you probably took it extra hard because not
Speaker 1: only is that like just a crazy sequence of events
Speaker 1: for any human being to have to handle it so heavy,
Speaker 1: but then coming from this healthy household, like because it's
Speaker 1: for me, like I don't know how to handle trauma
Speaker 1: because I also came from a really nice household, and
Speaker 1: it's almost like it's great when you're there, and then
Speaker 1: when you go out into the real world, it's like not,
Speaker 1: it's like everyone else has a shield. Oh my god, totally,
Speaker 1: it's like that's like, yeah, I'm like I remember in
Speaker 1: my late twenties, I'm like, what am I doing? And
Speaker 1: I still wonder if that was the love of my
Speaker 1: life when I was my god, a raging addict who
Speaker 1: sounds like, Oh my god, who I looked for for you?
Speaker 1: What am I doing? Who I looked for on the
Speaker 1: internet when my Space was around and then Facebook for
Speaker 1: years I searched for him? Oh my gosh, what's up
Speaker 1: the refrigerator? What is that? Sounds like a vacuum? Is it?
Speaker 1: I mean? I think it adds. It kind of adds
Speaker 1: to the charm of guys we fund. There's buzzers, ambulance sirens.
Speaker 1: It's a home, you know, so screeching and screaming. That
Speaker 1: relationship last for two years. No, So in other words,
Speaker 1: I was just twenty year old who had been in
Speaker 1: like a three and a half year and a two
Speaker 1: year which was like good for a twenty year old.
Speaker 1: And then now all these years later, that little nine
Speaker 1: month thing just laid on me more so than any
Speaker 1: of the other ones that just touched a place inside
Speaker 1: of me all of a sudden. You came to that
Speaker 1: for years, and I would look for him on the internet.
Speaker 1: I couldn't find him. So wait, why did that relationship
Speaker 1: bend huge high stakes drama? Like in other words, if
Speaker 1: I saw someone in a relationship like that today, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, you don't love yourself, Just walk the funk away?
Speaker 1: What's to love? I remember he spent on my face
Speaker 1: on the Long Island Railroad and and I would be
Speaker 1: it was four in the morning. I'd be like, come on,
Speaker 1: let's just go home. Well, why would he do that?
Speaker 1: I mean, he was just being He's just abusive to
Speaker 1: you God? Or was it drugs? Drugs? He was such
Speaker 1: a handsome, like wasp prince who had this side of
Speaker 1: this tainted kind of golden boy. He was adopted his
Speaker 1: own mother, genetic mother, had her own family now and
Speaker 1: well to do suburban Philadelphia. His dad, I remember he
Speaker 1: came home from high school when he was seventeen, and
Speaker 1: the father and their beautiful home that had been in
Speaker 1: the family for three years, was spooning on the living
Speaker 1: room floor with a mistress. I feel like nobody's number
Speaker 1: or one, you know what I'm saying. His genetic mother
Speaker 1: moved on. His dad was into this, this woman that
Speaker 1: looked like she was out of the far side, comic stepmother. Plain.
Speaker 1: His father's taste was like plain, plain white women. But
Speaker 1: it was just really I don't know if he was
Speaker 1: bipolar and it wasn't treated then, but he felt abandoned
Speaker 1: a lot in his life. Always, yeah, always, and he
Speaker 1: was just and I always wanted to fix it. Wow,
Speaker 1: And was you? I would imagine your relationships very was
Speaker 1: very intense, tumultuous, Like in the beginning, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I was like, this is Prince Charming, and then it's
Speaker 1: just whatever. It's like that in the beginning, when it's
Speaker 1: just lusty and you can't even stop, you don't even
Speaker 1: want to take your fingers off each other. I hate that, though.
Speaker 1: That's the best feeling. When it's like that, What the fun?
Speaker 1: I don't know, that's got to be what Heroin feels like. Man,
Speaker 1: I'm never trying hero and I never would anyway, but
Speaker 1: I never would either. If it does feel like that.
Speaker 1: I get why motherfucker's be addicted to it the best feeling.
Speaker 1: It's the best feeling. But I use that now as
Speaker 1: a warning sign when I meet men now, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I feel that odds are from my track record
Speaker 1: and anybody else, I know it's not going to go anywhere. Well,
Speaker 1: I think that it's like, we can't base a relationship
Speaker 1: on chemicals. Somebody's sent our chemistry with someone. Unfortunately, that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that they'll come home after work. I know.
Speaker 1: Isn't that a bit? This one guy I was seeing,
Speaker 1: I asked him if I could have his undershirt and
Speaker 1: I was sleeping it and then, oh, this is bad.
Speaker 1: The chemicals. We'll talk about chemicals. I was sleeping on
Speaker 1: my couch one night and I put his T shirt
Speaker 1: over my pillow and I cuddled playing with him, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I felt like an addict. It was weird.
Speaker 1: It was very That's why I'm in a relationships now.
Speaker 1: It's not based on sex at all. It's like we're brothers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like we have so much fun. That's good, but it's
Speaker 1: like that stuff, Like I had enough of that stuff.
Speaker 1: I had a lifetime of of that T shirt over
Speaker 1: pillows kind of guy. I mean it was. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of And did any of them go well, those
Speaker 1: relationships with a teacher, Oh, not a single one. I
Speaker 1: remember when I got into grad school. The guy that
Speaker 1: I was dating at the time, it was I wasn't
Speaker 1: even attracted to, but he was a competitive bodybuilder and
Speaker 1: all my friends were jealous. It wasn't even my type,
Speaker 1: like I like skinny, normal people. Yeah, but I just
Speaker 1: did it because all my friends were like, Wow, he's
Speaker 1: really hot. You're lucky. I was like, yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: I don't know who I am small out with it.
Speaker 1: And now supposedly he's like a prey. The gay away guy.
Speaker 1: Oh really, those always confused, the ones who are pray
Speaker 1: the gay away. First I'm like, oh, you're gay, But
Speaker 1: then the ones who were gay, But then they're like,
Speaker 1: but no, pray it away and they don't make They
Speaker 1: beat themselves up in parking lots. They don't make any sense.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, So I remember him saying I went
Speaker 1: to grad school an hour and a half away, and
Speaker 1: he was like, I can't do this. I can't do this.
Speaker 1: And a month into grad school, my birthdays in October,
Speaker 1: Libra and I was like something snapped and I was like,
Speaker 1: then don't do it. If you can't do this, then
Speaker 1: don't do it. It was like the first time I
Speaker 1: took charge in a relationship when I was thirty. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, the coming up to school
Speaker 1: and screaming outside my window at four and the more
Speaker 1: I'm done with that ship, Yeah that's lame. Now it's
Speaker 1: like bring home frozen pizza. Yeah. But then when I'm
Speaker 1: still thinking about that guy, I'm so confused because everything
Speaker 1: you just described was is heinous. Yes, that guy. That
Speaker 1: guy was like a dud. The one before that. I
Speaker 1: was talking about not to pray the gay away the
Speaker 1: one before because it because I'm never going to figure
Speaker 1: out why that one relationship touched such a place in
Speaker 1: me that I've never been able to shake that. To
Speaker 1: answer your question, yah, yeah, yeah, Okay. All I remember
Speaker 1: is it was like from it was like a love
Speaker 1: at first sight and there was the guy over the bar.
Speaker 1: It was like made that Barracuda so wild place even
Speaker 1: for straight people. Tell you, what did it feel like
Speaker 1: in your body with him versus everybody else? Like you
Speaker 1: know how like when you're lust or whatever, Like when
Speaker 1: I'm into somebody and I think about having sex with him,
Speaker 1: I excited. I feel it like right above my pelvis,
Speaker 1: like I feel like this weird press. I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to be candid. I was one time I was on steroids,
Speaker 1: and I knew that it was the only time I
Speaker 1: ever tried them. My body was sick, and I knew
Speaker 1: that it was like, um, what is it like like
Speaker 1: when somebody in a fairy tale has like a temporary thing,
Speaker 1: like Cinderella is going to turn back into like a
Speaker 1: rat whatever it is, a rat horry if she loses
Speaker 1: a show, or just a regular peasant like a lady.
Speaker 1: She didn't. She had friends who were mice, but she
Speaker 1: herself listening. She was a rat horse, not a rodent.
Speaker 1: She was like a rodent wrangler. Yeah, but I knew
Speaker 1: that it was like he was into the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: Like I wasn't that guy on the outside, the one
Speaker 1: that you can't stop thinking about the word. I wasn't that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't that. I wasn't that, And I knew that
Speaker 1: I could never make that last. I was never gonna
Speaker 1: be able to continue going to the gym for seven
Speaker 1: days a week whatever whatever it was four a lot,
Speaker 1: even even for a year at Yeah, so you were
Speaker 1: being somebody you weren't, which was nice to try on
Speaker 1: a mask. My god, it was great. But I can't
Speaker 1: keep that up. It's not give a ship, who's spinning
Speaker 1: or I don't know that it makes me at this
Speaker 1: this point in my life, I have a vile reaction
Speaker 1: to it, like I hate it that whole scene because
Speaker 1: I'm so strongly kind of into who I am. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I play guitar, and I love rock and roll, and
Speaker 1: I love having such a diverse group of friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I don't understan at least fifty year old gay
Speaker 1: dudes with poland spring bottle in their shirts off the
Speaker 1: little cracked out of their minds. I really, to me,
Speaker 1: that's lost. But I was lost at that time, I think, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean everybody like Beach trying to find yourself forever.
Speaker 1: Most people healing the onion Joseph Campbell calls it. So
Speaker 1: have you had a conversation about monogamy with any partner? Um? No,
Speaker 1: no not not for a long time. You attempted it
Speaker 1: even like you know what I think it is because
Speaker 1: words are just that. And now I'm in this situation
Speaker 1: for just about fifteen years and it works. And we
Speaker 1: don't talk anything. We don't talk about anything. Oh interesting,
Speaker 1: zero communication as the kid, your communication, give each other
Speaker 1: a long usual, respect one another. Okay, yeah, it's currents goal.
Speaker 1: It just it just works out. No Wan has to talk,
Speaker 1: lock him out if it comes home late. No, it's
Speaker 1: just it's kind of like, oh God, if I ever
Speaker 1: say to him, fuck you, well we would like laugh
Speaker 1: because nobody we didn't talk like that from each other,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's really just kind of
Speaker 1: finding the person who for me, like I'm such a dick,
Speaker 1: Like what am I gonna do? What am I gonna
Speaker 1: get signed? A C A A or I see? You
Speaker 1: know if I was with somebody that let in everything
Speaker 1: I complain about land on them, forget about like he
Speaker 1: lets everything roll off. He doesn't pay listen to me.
Speaker 1: Really so it works. Okay, these are on it. He doesn't.
Speaker 1: He doesn't. It's just like I don't know. I feel
Speaker 1: I guess I because I have to stop. It's not
Speaker 1: healthy to constantly look at what I don't have. I
Speaker 1: stopped doing that. My life started going great. But this
Speaker 1: person also sounds like a good partner because he doesn't
Speaker 1: take personal responsibility for that. How were the opposite of
Speaker 1: each other? Like I'm a lunatic and he's grounded. It's
Speaker 1: a perfect okay, So what do you get? What do
Speaker 1: you get from one another besides not being like each other?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Well we're so like each other in
Speaker 1: that really like blue collar backgrounds where dad came home
Speaker 1: and worked hard and um, like neither one of us
Speaker 1: is going to be like hiding out in a bar
Speaker 1: and not coming home. Really respect one another to that
Speaker 1: in that sense. And we just have like we have
Speaker 1: so much fun. Yeah, if there's ever a day off,
Speaker 1: like we'll both into the same things. We'll drive up
Speaker 1: to like the Delaware River and just go get fried
Speaker 1: chicken and bring my niece who's in her twenties. My
Speaker 1: sister was twenty years older, and just sit on the river.
Speaker 1: And so we're into the same ship. Went and so
Speaker 1: like the Pretenders and Fleetwood Mack together and just into
Speaker 1: the same ship. It's fun. We really do. We have
Speaker 1: such a good We laugh like idiots. What's what about
Speaker 1: sex stuff? Um? With him? Yeah, it's like would you
Speaker 1: put the lemon hog and dats in the microwave for
Speaker 1: fifteen seconds. So are you not talking together anymore? Sex? No? No? Okay,
Speaker 1: so no, it's and it was, but it was I
Speaker 1: have to say it was never that from the beginning.
Speaker 1: It was not, And my twenty or twenty something year
Speaker 1: old self probably would have said, I can't go up
Speaker 1: with this person. It's not based in fiery, insane sexuality.
Speaker 1: So that's that's what I mean with like my parents,
Speaker 1: sometimes I wonder if that's what that was, right well,
Speaker 1: but I also yeah, because it's like it's it's almost
Speaker 1: as if, um love, committed love in a relationship takes
Speaker 1: up one area of your brain and your heart, but
Speaker 1: then sex kind of takes up a totally different area.
Speaker 1: And that's why I like my thing on monogamy is
Speaker 1: like if you fuck somebody else or you make out
Speaker 1: with somebody else, society has you think that it means
Speaker 1: you you're a terrible partner. It's not. It sounds weird,
Speaker 1: but it's like it has nothing to do with how
Speaker 1: you feel about your boyfriend or hung wife. I got
Speaker 1: the more so, not the end of the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're trained to be jealous and possessive. You cannot rely
Speaker 1: on one human being for your sexual needs. And your
Speaker 1: emotional needs in your life. And it's taken me a
Speaker 1: lifetime of experience to get to that point to admit
Speaker 1: that and agree with that, And it's okay if he
Speaker 1: needs to go and take care of himself. I don't care. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't want to know about it, right, And that's
Speaker 1: fine to you. Better believe I would. But if I
Speaker 1: don't know about it, who cares? Yeah? I think it's
Speaker 1: interesting because I think there are probably a lot more
Speaker 1: relationships that are like long term and people are working,
Speaker 1: really our friends are partners, but really aren't having sex.
Speaker 1: And I think people just don't talk about it because
Speaker 1: it feels like something that they should be ashamed of
Speaker 1: when like in reality and like, well, if you if
Speaker 1: you find someone who you can spend that much quality
Speaker 1: time with and like build a life together, what's it
Speaker 1: going to be ashamed about? Like you're lucky? Who do
Speaker 1: you have to like? It doesn't like it is only
Speaker 1: you have to take care of yourself and and and
Speaker 1: also not harm anybody else. But I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: see why that, like why people are so ashamed of it.
Speaker 1: And I've heard people have like not not a ton,
Speaker 1: but a handful of people over the course of time
Speaker 1: have criticized that what I have. Most people criticize it
Speaker 1: like I'm thinking of one comic in particular, have never
Speaker 1: had a relationship that makes sense. Ever gay never had
Speaker 1: a relationship. It's like, you know, it's also different people
Speaker 1: of different needs, and textbook doesn't work. Like I remember,
Speaker 1: I used to read every fucking Eon le van Zant
Speaker 1: book and she was she has her own show now
Speaker 1: on the Oprah channel. She was always on Oprah years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh then I must know. And she was like she
Speaker 1: has no conception of personal space, like she'll get really
Speaker 1: into somebody's face. But her relationship books are so good
Speaker 1: in the meantime. Um, like you're always with someone who
Speaker 1: is your in the meantime until you find the right one.
Speaker 1: And then she got divorced after writing all these books,
Speaker 1: and I was like, nobody knows what she talked her
Speaker 1: out of much time on the books, and who really
Speaker 1: does know what the funk they're talking about. But it's like,
Speaker 1: I feel like you're in the You're you're going to
Speaker 1: do great if you just keep checking in with yourself.
Speaker 1: And it's like, is this good for me? That is
Speaker 1: what I wanted, especially comedians. I'm like, you gotta gotta
Speaker 1: work on yourself, comedians. I think the best comics go
Speaker 1: to therapy and whatnot. I think to like when I
Speaker 1: look at sometimes a group of comics sitting around. I
Speaker 1: remember one night hit the stand years ago, I was like,
Speaker 1: this one looks like they belong in a hospital, spread
Speaker 1: out over the bank. Ak. This one's a raging alcohol
Speaker 1: like we're not okay, we're right about right? Um so
Speaker 1: uh okay. So, but it is sexuality important to you.
Speaker 1: I live in my sexuality and not all people do.
Speaker 1: How do you express it? You know, when people say
Speaker 1: I'm a sexual person, while I'm a very sexual person.
Speaker 1: I think we are all sexual people. It's just whether
Speaker 1: or not we're in touch with it. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: and I don't think that I'm with someone who's crazy
Speaker 1: in touch with I don't know, I could be totally wrong. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: sometimes a sexuality can be that you are just not
Speaker 1: that sexual, or you can be expressed in different ways,
Speaker 1: like I think some people paint sexually or sing a
Speaker 1: song sexually, but maybe are not actually like penis to bottle,
Speaker 1: penis to a I know, like that's not really what
Speaker 1: does it for them? Yeah, I mean like because it's
Speaker 1: what does it for me? But there are other times
Speaker 1: that I feel sexual, even with myself, Like I've always
Speaker 1: felt sexual, Like I even remember like being a kid
Speaker 1: like six feeling sexual. Does that mean I was ready
Speaker 1: to have sex? Absolutely not, but I felt sexual and
Speaker 1: then its expressions basically because I mean like that's actually
Speaker 1: very accurate, because I was like putting on dresses, like
Speaker 1: my my neighbor, um, she like there was only little
Speaker 1: boys on my block. I was the only little girl
Speaker 1: and my uh so, my neighbor, she would just give
Speaker 1: me all her clothes like that she didn't want anymore,
Speaker 1: and I because she didn't have a daughter, and I
Speaker 1: thought it was great. And I would like go around
Speaker 1: in her her like down and just like walk up
Speaker 1: and down the block and that that for me, it
Speaker 1: was like very sensual. She's walking up. I was like
Speaker 1: like everyone on my block knew me, and like they
Speaker 1: literally would say that like Karin's just roaming around the
Speaker 1: block like just like an old Hollywood actress with dementia.
Speaker 1: But it's gonna make my mother sound like my mother
Speaker 1: was such a sweet person, but she was like talking
Speaker 1: about our neighbor. At one point She was like, I
Speaker 1: think that woman next door is mental. I was like,
Speaker 1: why they found her in CVS and she was wearing
Speaker 1: her Nike and I said, Mom, she has Alzheimer's. Yeah
Speaker 1: I know, I think she's mental. I was like, no, Mom,
Speaker 1: like it, I think she's I think she's mental. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. So um so, so how do you express
Speaker 1: your sexuality? Um? Like, when my comedy stuff and acting
Speaker 1: stuff is going well, yeah, I think that it takes
Speaker 1: a back seat, you know what I mean? I do think.
Speaker 1: Don't you think though it can be you can kind
Speaker 1: of feel sexual, like when you when I kill on
Speaker 1: stage and I feel like this the energy I have,
Speaker 1: Like last night, I did a set set in New
Speaker 1: York Comedy Club and and I came back and my
Speaker 1: friend was staying here, and I was like, man, I
Speaker 1: just killed it, and I was like kind of horny,
Speaker 1: so like that I kind of got off on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: total totally. I just let me think, let me think.
Speaker 1: It's It's kind of like I have a tendency to
Speaker 1: you know, everybody has their habits and whatnot. Um, and
Speaker 1: I can spend hours kind of like flirting and texting
Speaker 1: and finding people from the past or people that are
Speaker 1: flirting with me to not deal with like my career
Speaker 1: not going well or me not paying my bills or
Speaker 1: whatever that's my habit. It's really like I'm not I
Speaker 1: don't drink, really, I'm not sober, but it's not that's
Speaker 1: not your thing. I'm not gonna Marlborough's on a church basement, um,
Speaker 1: but my go to you know, it's food. But it
Speaker 1: really is like men, like I I've always gotten like
Speaker 1: a lot of attention from guys and like it kind
Speaker 1: of amazes me. Like a couple of my friends I've
Speaker 1: never been able to have relationships, but their careers are great.
Speaker 1: And with me, it's like I've had to work for
Speaker 1: every little green light that I've ever gotten, but I
Speaker 1: never had trouble meeting dudes. Wow. Interesting, So it's like
Speaker 1: I have to work to keep a balance. It's the
Speaker 1: It's the greatest distraction, it really really really you don't
Speaker 1: even have a crush on somebody, don't even want to
Speaker 1: suck somebody. It's like why am I? But then like
Speaker 1: if ever, if there's not someone on like the burner,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah that's depressing. Yeah, I was like they can
Speaker 1: take away focus, but sometimes it helps me like in
Speaker 1: every class that I ever had in school, I had
Speaker 1: to find someone in the class have a crush on.
Speaker 1: It's like a focus through the class because oh yeah
Speaker 1: helped me. It's my my, my middle school teacher. And
Speaker 1: when I met to Pennsylvania and then I got straight ace,
Speaker 1: I was getting d's in Virginia and then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm in love with the well, especially when it's a teacher.
Speaker 1: Do you want to impress the teacher? Absolutely? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's like, you know, now with social media, what
Speaker 1: are those apps called, like the grinder and is that
Speaker 1: called dating apps that well, I don't know, because gay
Speaker 1: the gay community has like Tinder. Tinder is also well
Speaker 1: with gay gay Tinder, it's I don't think it's no, no,
Speaker 1: like tender real tender. If you just sign up a
Speaker 1: Tinder as a gay person, yeah, I'm having a brain
Speaker 1: for it. It's just as pretty much just as sexual
Speaker 1: as the other ones. Yeah. But the thing is like
Speaker 1: if they lie about that we're talking about school. If
Speaker 1: they lie about their age, it's on the purse. It's
Speaker 1: on the adult, it's not on the kid. So it's
Speaker 1: like if somebody writes twenty two and they're seventeen or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's really yeah, how do you know? How did you?
Speaker 1: I know people who card people on like Grinder for sure? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean if I were that into it, I would, Yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely would. It's that's fucking scary. Yeah, like I looked
Speaker 1: like an ox but in prison. For am I going
Speaker 1: to set in front of anybody? Oh? Yeah, that's it?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my gosh. Yeah, you'd have to.
Speaker 1: You'd have to really come on. It's scary and take
Speaker 1: people under your would pretend like I was a mute,
Speaker 1: like I was so pet like I was so frightening.
Speaker 1: I couldn't talk mental. I don't know what I would do.
Speaker 1: I can't fight, Yeah, I don't know how to fight it.
Speaker 1: I would pretend that I was mentally ill. Have you what,
Speaker 1: what's like the most sexually debaucherous thing you've ever done?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Like does it have to be hot
Speaker 1: or can it be discussed whenever you please? Disgusting? Give
Speaker 1: me some gross ship. Well years ago, when I was eighteen,
Speaker 1: I gave someone a ride home because I may have
Speaker 1: been seventeen because I had my drivers from it, and
Speaker 1: it ended up being like two hours away in the
Speaker 1: Hampton's and I was mortified. No, no, And I was
Speaker 1: so scared because I had a car a few I
Speaker 1: was probably seventeen. So this guy goes give me a ride.
Speaker 1: That's wasted. I remember I didn't have a radio in
Speaker 1: my car. I had literally a box radio like a thing.
Speaker 1: He thought it was an astray. He was that way,
Speaker 1: so he put his cigarette out on the speakers of it. Boy.
Speaker 1: We got to his little cabin thing and sex was
Speaker 1: like disgusting and probably eight minutes long, and I kind
Speaker 1: of passed out like that half sleep. We were in
Speaker 1: somebody else's place and I felt like a dull pain
Speaker 1: under my lower back and I'm hearing like a noise.
Speaker 1: I'm half asleep. I feel this pain, I'm hearing a noise.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, the noise goes. It was him snoring,
Speaker 1: and it woke me up and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: what is that? And I sat up and under my
Speaker 1: lower back were false teeth. Oh how's that for a punchline?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? And I looked over at him and
Speaker 1: he had like missing teeth on either side of whatever.
Speaker 1: He was young, he was like twenty something. Stroke that
Speaker 1: seems like math teeth. Yeah, there was no was their
Speaker 1: meth back then in the early nineties me nineties, Yeah right,
Speaker 1: Christie was a kid. Tis Yeah, it was a time
Speaker 1: I did math once. It good. It's so good. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing that's so scary about math. It made me
Speaker 1: feel like I don't want to be a pro meth
Speaker 1: I am. Don't just think, don't If you do meth,
Speaker 1: you'll your teeth will fall out, and your family will
Speaker 1: leave you and you'll die. Okay. I remember doing meth
Speaker 1: and feeling like we were on the boardwalk at a
Speaker 1: beach and I remember feeling like, wow, this is what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to feel like. I didn't feel high, but
Speaker 1: I had no anxiety or depression that really helps regular
Speaker 1: wiped out. I was just like, let's happy would happen?
Speaker 1: Not just regular, but happened but happy. It was like,
Speaker 1: this is great, beautiful. It was content, but like if
Speaker 1: you could turn the volume up to ten, like the
Speaker 1: bare for contest, say, I'm going to turn the volume
Speaker 1: on content, turning it up to ten. How long does
Speaker 1: meth last? Like nine and a half years? It was
Speaker 1: like a day. Wait what else? Debaucher's sexually either gross
Speaker 1: or hot? That tea story that's not really actual bats,
Speaker 1: what debats. I am such a pansy in comparison to
Speaker 1: my friends because I don't know that, oh god, public okay,
Speaker 1: blow jobs in movie theaters like but like not, I've
Speaker 1: never had like a group sex thing. Well that's like
Speaker 1: and never been orgy. I'm laughing yourself behind the mic.
Speaker 1: Usually go somebody took me two years ago in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: someone took me to a sex party and I was like,
Speaker 1: I cannot go to that. I'm afraid why because I'm
Speaker 1: scared A uniform party and I don't. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't feel CONFORTA uniform means underwear in gay and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like what I did. Like,
Speaker 1: So I was with one of them who was shopping
Speaker 1: for like leather ontwear for the uniform party, and I
Speaker 1: bought a full body camouflage jumpsuit that like covering everything.
Speaker 1: It's such an ass. That's funny, you go again the grain.
Speaker 1: But then we get there and it was I thought
Speaker 1: it was gonna be like this big club scene thing,
Speaker 1: and it was like in the back of an industrial
Speaker 1: park in an office those ceilings, a clothing check with
Speaker 1: like a sixty year old who's like his balls were
Speaker 1: like holding the door open five ft away, really sad,
Speaker 1: checking clothesing grocery bags, drinks like bottles of like seven
Speaker 1: up and vodka on like a table that would be
Speaker 1: in an art class, Like nothing like table you put
Speaker 1: on the garage for the graduation party. Totally garage. I
Speaker 1: know exactly what you're just trying, because I've been to
Speaker 1: one like that sounds like nothing to like go go
Speaker 1: boys and an empty dance floor and then the rooms
Speaker 1: in the back, and it was like I walked by
Speaker 1: a room in the back and it was like it
Speaker 1: was like being pulled in by like a shark, like
Speaker 1: a piranha. It was. It was really just I've never
Speaker 1: talked about consense trendy now, but that's it was like
Speaker 1: I really hope that I'm making this up and that, um,
Speaker 1: where have all the cowboys gone? Wasn't playing that dude? Okay,
Speaker 1: that's amazing, seriously, like it sounds like the my version
Speaker 1: of the accused, even though it was it was so awful.
Speaker 1: I remember you had condoms around his ankles like spurs.
Speaker 1: He was just like and put it on me like
Speaker 1: like a like and I stopped before it was over
Speaker 1: because I was. I ran into the bathroom and watched
Speaker 1: my penis off because I was like, I don't know
Speaker 1: this person. See there was still that Italian god, I
Speaker 1: don't know who the sponge dishes. Go and clean yourself up.
Speaker 1: You're disgusting. Yeah, that was the That was the most.
Speaker 1: I wish that it were more unique or original, but
Speaker 1: that was that's pretty funny. And my friends took like
Speaker 1: my though I was the lone person who had like vodka,
Speaker 1: and my friends took drugs that didn't kick in and
Speaker 1: they were angry and we left. What a night. I
Speaker 1: like that everyone like comes on and tries to tell
Speaker 1: these wild sex stories and like I feel like that's
Speaker 1: like a more realistic sex. It was just like, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: The best sex stories when we don't, I think, when
Speaker 1: we don't expect it, and it's like, holy sh it,
Speaker 1: I had this amazing night. Yeah, and his boyfriend was
Speaker 1: at work and it was in their bed. But you
Speaker 1: know what, that's okay because you do you, you know,
Speaker 1: because you deserve pleasure as well. Wait, so you that's
Speaker 1: just the Romanian. Did you sleep with somebody who was married?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Yeah? And did that? Was the marriage
Speaker 1: open or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's like it's
Speaker 1: it seems like a more likely to develop feelings for
Speaker 1: someone if they're married. Yeah, that's a bit huh. Why
Speaker 1: I'm una to developed feelings for someone who's marriage. Yeah. Really,
Speaker 1: you had a relationship with somebody. Yeah, that's exactly why
Speaker 1: it ended because he felt too strongly for me, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you broke the rules and you have
Speaker 1: any feelings. I didn't love him. I mean, that's that's
Speaker 1: that's that's to me as a boundary. I like, of
Speaker 1: course I didn't hate the kids are walking into it,
Speaker 1: and I had the logic in your head. It's the
Speaker 1: same reason I can't fall apartmentalized in love with my
Speaker 1: best friend, even though he's like a knockout and I
Speaker 1: love everything about him, like he's gay, you know, Like
Speaker 1: there's just a lot of the head and hard armed computers.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying. It's not even possible,
Speaker 1: no believer, Like yeah, it's like, yeah, I have stomach
Speaker 1: problems all the time, like all the time, and when
Speaker 1: I eat sugary things. So cupcakes. A lot of people
Speaker 1: love cupcakes, right, But I look at a cupcake and
Speaker 1: I think of a stomachache. So I don't even want cupcakes,
Speaker 1: don't even crave cupcakes. So I think, like, you can
Speaker 1: go into a situation going well, falling in love this
Speaker 1: person is so not gonna it's not a good idea,
Speaker 1: but let's enjoy the sexual part of it in the
Speaker 1: bond or whatever. So I can't get it, like even
Speaker 1: like when my exes move on and start dating someone else,
Speaker 1: Like that for me is so helpful because it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not actually interested in you and you anymore because
Speaker 1: you picked someone out. It's like to me, it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: so healthy and understand that that is healthy. Like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I look at a cupcake and I think of ejaculate
Speaker 1: when I look at a cupcake. Cupcakes become sex. You
Speaker 1: have sometimes wait what I can't like in other words,
Speaker 1: as I associate food is almost as good as sex. Oh,
Speaker 1: I agree, some things in my mouth food items not dicks?
Speaker 1: Uh that really were like you you you like that
Speaker 1: first bite and you're like this is I'm on another planet.
Speaker 1: I know sex could be that great all the time,
Speaker 1: but that's really healthy. It's so healthy. She's so healthy.
Speaker 1: Well I'm well, yeah, okay, so yeah, because I was
Speaker 1: like I was like, I'm confused, but no I'm not
Speaker 1: because of the series of loss in your life. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so that makes sense. Well just because it's you know,
Speaker 1: very rare to find someone who had like a happy,
Speaker 1: like a home life, and so I mean, like that's
Speaker 1: why it's it's all about. It really is about nurture
Speaker 1: a lot. Because did you guys see the three identical
Speaker 1: strangers coming back to one with our documentary team actually
Speaker 1: perfect timing. I mean, if that just proves how important
Speaker 1: the environment that you grow up in is. Like that movie,
Speaker 1: I don't want to give too much away because there's
Speaker 1: so many like sharp turns in it, and you think, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna watch a movie about like three guys
Speaker 1: who like yeah, and I mean watching that on the airplane, um,
Speaker 1: like you know, I just I love to sob on
Speaker 1: adult of flight. Nothing comfort plus for me, and the
Speaker 1: plus is crying. Um, but like I can't, I just
Speaker 1: I cry and I full on I'm not ashamed of crying,
Speaker 1: which I think is like from so many years about
Speaker 1: in New York City, like unabashed crying, the crying films
Speaker 1: on airplane. It's a crying moment because it's like I
Speaker 1: want to feel something else and take me away from
Speaker 1: the reality of being in. Crying is less distracting than laughing,
Speaker 1: because like you went on a flight and you're trying
Speaker 1: to sleep in some assholes laughing. You're like, stop, this
Speaker 1: is a plane. I've not crying. I've been ashole. I
Speaker 1: can't sleep unless you're crying. Movie on a plane to
Speaker 1: start crying because I'm so scared flying. Yeah, well, there's
Speaker 1: something about travel to that's just like your lead. It's
Speaker 1: like lost and like and it's a lot of feelings
Speaker 1: best Western in a walmart with absolutely but yeah, coming
Speaker 1: over the subway sandwich gas station. Come, I'll get yourself
Speaker 1: some munch. You're the only person you'll have a boy.
Speaker 1: But yeah, nature versus nurture, babory just and then but
Speaker 1: then it's like hard, you know when you get into like,
Speaker 1: you know, lgbt Q stuff, because you're like, well if
Speaker 1: if nurture is so important, like you don't ever want
Speaker 1: to give like the conservatives any ammo to be like
Speaker 1: you're raising like a gay household something major gay you
Speaker 1: know you know what I remember it's and this is
Speaker 1: gonna sound like I'm taking a total like left turn,
Speaker 1: but it's not. I remember nine eleven and I was
Speaker 1: in New Haven and five of us were walking around
Speaker 1: on this gorgeous Tuesday and it was sunny outside that day,
Speaker 1: and I finally got through to my mother and father
Speaker 1: and I was like, Mom, like I thought the world
Speaker 1: was over. I was like, can you believe this? And
Speaker 1: I remember my mother said, I know, isn't it horrible?
Speaker 1: But she said I know, isn't it horrible without the
Speaker 1: subtext of it's the end of the world, like I
Speaker 1: was thinking. And I think my mother had they had
Speaker 1: me in their mid forties, so I was my sisters
Speaker 1: eighteen years older, and my mother had lived through World
Speaker 1: War Two when they had like fake air raid where
Speaker 1: they would have to draw the shades, and then the
Speaker 1: sixties where they would go in to fall out shelters
Speaker 1: and said under the desk like Kennedy had been shut
Speaker 1: my mother to her, this was just another tragedy, and
Speaker 1: to me it was the end of the world. So
Speaker 1: my point is with relationships, if I walked away from
Speaker 1: this fifteen year relationship every time I really wanted to
Speaker 1: walk away, I would have been doing such a great
Speaker 1: disservice to both of us because it gets better and
Speaker 1: life is going to happen with whom we're with no
Speaker 1: matter what. And um, so our moods are gonna change
Speaker 1: once our career is hitting a slump or we gain weight,
Speaker 1: or you're not always going to be a supportive partner.
Speaker 1: You're not always going to be in a great mood
Speaker 1: or or kind of that. But we have to evolve
Speaker 1: and accept that life is life with no matter who
Speaker 1: that we're with, Otherwise we'll always be going from person
Speaker 1: to person and person and person. Yeah, yeah, it's but
Speaker 1: it's a fine line of like some people say that
Speaker 1: to themselves and then they end up saying an abusive relationship. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a different thing. But that's and that's a huge
Speaker 1: part of why this this thing works because we really
Speaker 1: do treat each other with respect. And yeah, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, I was gonna ask you, what do you
Speaker 1: think the pillars of a really solid foundation are, And
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, treating each other with respect. It's hard
Speaker 1: to I always like, I like, I don't need seafood,
Speaker 1: for example, but I love to cook. And when we
Speaker 1: were supposed to have that snowstorm, there were these beautiful
Speaker 1: clams on sale. I don't know that he likes that
Speaker 1: wongal A pasta, and I was like, let me look
Speaker 1: up a New York Times recipe. So I made him
Speaker 1: his favorite thing even though I don't eat it, and
Speaker 1: I get a kick out of that it was and
Speaker 1: he loved it. It's like stuff like that for each other.
Speaker 1: Yea treating into the nice. I'm like, I also, I
Speaker 1: think it's like when you go home, when you open
Speaker 1: the door and you see that person's face, you don't
Speaker 1: want to push the vomit totally right, somebody should take
Speaker 1: up a career in Hallmark car. I mean that's why
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to see whatever said my open way
Speaker 1: door and I see my dog, I'm like, how throw them?
Speaker 1: You're just going to say it's really about the dog? Well,
Speaker 1: because dogs love is so pure and that's it. It's
Speaker 1: just so selfless, like when it comes to Eddie is
Speaker 1: my dog, Like I'll forget to say hi to any
Speaker 1: if my parents came back from the grave and I
Speaker 1: walked in and saw the dog, I'd be like, oh, hi, sorry, Edie,
Speaker 1: Eddie's first kiss Eddie on. Yeah, that's the kind acts
Speaker 1: of respect are like so important, and even friendships too, like,
Speaker 1: and it's so fun to like love your friends and
Speaker 1: love your partner. It's a balance. It's like am I listening?
Speaker 1: Am I asking my best friend questions? Or is it
Speaker 1: just about you know me? Yeah? Yeah, that's see you
Speaker 1: John Campanelli, Sorry he needs to hear that, but it's true.
Speaker 1: There's somebody who I don't really know who asked me
Speaker 1: to go for coffee recently, and I'm like, why not
Speaker 1: make a new friend who was constantly sending me clips
Speaker 1: of their comedy, Like are you kidding? I don't even
Speaker 1: look at my own. Yeah, people still do that. It's
Speaker 1: like I'll help a little, of course, I'll help, And
Speaker 1: I really do, like I'm constantly constantly introducing people to
Speaker 1: whoever I think can help them, that have helped me,
Speaker 1: because I really, really, really really believe in that it's
Speaker 1: part of how coswhere it's not. And I never, like,
Speaker 1: even with a fucking Yale degree and purchased before that,
Speaker 1: I have never had an easy path, Like people would say,
Speaker 1: that's your path. I was like this, my path leads
Speaker 1: to the sump, you know. I want a path that
Speaker 1: leads to Broadway and movies and ship. But my point
Speaker 1: is it does work out and it does happen, it
Speaker 1: just takes twenty years longer. But I gotta help other
Speaker 1: people because people have always helped me. That said, it's like,
Speaker 1: have a little bit of self awareness. Don't send me
Speaker 1: five different things and then enough one or two over
Speaker 1: the course of the next three days. Are you yeah,
Speaker 1: because that makes me never want to talk to you again. Right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking and taking and taking doing this thing now
Speaker 1: with people where when they annoy me, I'm just very
Speaker 1: honest about it. And I don't know how that's gonna
Speaker 1: work out for me. But I was about to, but
Speaker 1: I woke up today at one and I had to
Speaker 1: be heard two o'clock and I was like, Okay, that's
Speaker 1: my habit. Don't get snip snapp at e when I'm
Speaker 1: like half asleep, because I'll regret it how I feel
Speaker 1: after the podcast. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Taking
Speaker 1: a second to waiting. Yeah, one day I'll do that. Well,
Speaker 1: I have to go to therapy. I have to see Susan,
Speaker 1: so she'll be like, I let's see what Susan. That's
Speaker 1: a good therapist name. It's Susan. Susan that is a
Speaker 1: good therapist. Like um volume miss voluminous bangs. I feel
Speaker 1: like Susan's bank now very like short me a pharaoh
Speaker 1: and Rosemary's baby, like black owl, kind of glasses, skinny,
Speaker 1: like does the Alexander technique? Really? I like that nurturing
Speaker 1: She then she wants to stop. She reads a lot.
Speaker 1: These are the things I know about her. I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you reading? I was like just telling me,
Speaker 1: are you a liberate? And she was like yes, Like
Speaker 1: she won't divulge anything. What are you reading? It's it's freud. Wow, Susan.
Speaker 1: One question I wanted to ask you earlier. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I used to watch porn, like like multiple times a day.
Speaker 1: Now it's a few times a week. It's just kind
Speaker 1: of get Yeah, it's like having choke every day. I
Speaker 1: used to watch so much porn. I would like go
Speaker 1: and go to bed, and I still have the images
Speaker 1: in my head. It was it was like friends in
Speaker 1: porn now and I have different conflicting issues in it.
Speaker 1: Seriously in my head, I do what, what's the issue
Speaker 1: with the conflict? Are they really happy? Are they dead? Inside? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So somebody works at CBS, but I don't know, or
Speaker 1: somebody was a job that they always the same kind
Speaker 1: of rhetoric like I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I
Speaker 1: love what I do. I'm really I mean one of
Speaker 1: the eyes is like looking north, south and west. This
Speaker 1: is something that because it always comes out eventually, the
Speaker 1: pain underneath the I'm really happy always comes out. I
Speaker 1: don't think that you can. I'm going to get claudored
Speaker 1: for this. Have someone spreading your anus for greasy hands
Speaker 1: on a MacBook Pro and be okay with that forever.
Speaker 1: I think that we are. I don't know, though, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I anversation. Yeah, I mean like I does at the
Speaker 1: end of it. Yeah. Yeah, and I and they were
Speaker 1: trying to be like, no, people important like aren't mentally
Speaker 1: like they're not. They're like they're trying to cover something
Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm like, yeah, but I do that with comedy,
Speaker 1: like I don't I do that, you know, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. Look at the girl in college who had
Speaker 1: the conservative Indian upbringing. Bell is that her name? It
Speaker 1: was at her? Yeah? Yeah, Bell not. I really do
Speaker 1: hope that. I really do hope after I watched the
Speaker 1: story and whatnot, that she's happy. Yeah, I really And
Speaker 1: I have no idea, but I really hope. So I
Speaker 1: hope that she's is content and as much of a
Speaker 1: warrior and feminist as she says that she is. I
Speaker 1: hope so, because otherwise there's so much male dominated ship
Speaker 1: that goes along with it, and there was so many
Speaker 1: big gross The industry is fun for from a lot
Speaker 1: of aspects. Sure, like you'll see male or female like
Speaker 1: one of the one Z masturbation videos, and then from
Speaker 1: behind the camera this fat arm like a hamhock, reaching
Speaker 1: into the frame, grabbing at the person, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's not okay for the focks they're getting paid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have a good Yeah. I thought about like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like so many people, they're so underpaid in porn because
Speaker 1: the guy who owns all the sites is so it's
Speaker 1: just a fucking greedy piece of ship. But then it's
Speaker 1: like you know, and it's like, oh, they're falling for
Speaker 1: this flawed system. But I'm like yeah, but then, like
Speaker 1: the healthcare system, here's a bunch of ship. College law.
Speaker 1: My credit I just gotta I just got a credit
Speaker 1: card in the mail the other day for like a
Speaker 1: real big kid one. I was almost um correct because
Speaker 1: I have not had a credit card a long time
Speaker 1: because it sucks up your like the way that are.
Speaker 1: It's grad school kind of sucked up my whole life.
Speaker 1: Unless I get a scom who cares, there's nothing. I'm
Speaker 1: still an Italian guy, Like, there's no work for Italian people.
Speaker 1: Look at the Versace movie, not a single Versace as Italian.
Speaker 1: They're all Hispanic. They won't let me play Hispanic because
Speaker 1: I'm not a person of color, but they don't see
Speaker 1: me for white rolls. Thanks sopranos. That'll get me sounding
Speaker 1: seriously like the angriest person. I'm so grateful for stand
Speaker 1: up so that I don't have to deal with that
Speaker 1: theater ship anymore. They would call you into play like
Speaker 1: a Jew or something. You's the Italians. Ye, never because
Speaker 1: you have darker you have like all of skin like
Speaker 1: I could. I would say you would never had widad
Speaker 1: had auditions like theater by the pothole. I never had
Speaker 1: like a good enough agent to get into amazing ship.
Speaker 1: You even have to like ten television credits. They would
Speaker 1: still be like, can you go in for grease Ball
Speaker 1: number two? I'm like no, yeah, I never had like
Speaker 1: a Gersh agency or CIA Gersh CIA. Yeah, I'm hung
Speaker 1: like a fucking thank god, thank god, I have a
Speaker 1: big really yeah, thank god, I seriously, that's probably why
Speaker 1: I could, Like if I had to walk around with
Speaker 1: that kind of I wonder how I would compensate if
Speaker 1: I had like a Garkin, like that's a sex in
Speaker 1: the city. I wonder how I would compensate if I
Speaker 1: had a little penis. You'd probably have a red sports car.
Speaker 1: Well those Trump those huge Trump pickup trucks, balls and
Speaker 1: the Trump stickers, yea, those seriously pissing on a Chevy
Speaker 1: load on. Yeah, oh my god. I grew up in
Speaker 1: white trash Virginia. They were Calvin Hawes is pissing on
Speaker 1: everyone's car. I grew up in Colmack, Long Island, Jesus,
Speaker 1: I know. I was like, nothing says you have like
Speaker 1: a prepaid phone play on like a Calvin and Hobbs
Speaker 1: on your car, Like, oh my god. The Union, New Jersey,
Speaker 1: Oh okay, is that the same as Union City or
Speaker 1: is it difference? Much different? Me and already lying Union
Speaker 1: New Jersey, Union township, Union cities, universities like Latino union
Speaker 1: townships like black, white, Portuguese, Filipino, the Italian. You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's where I went with Jessica on a
Speaker 1: gig where she opened for him, and he said he
Speaker 1: lived like right close by, yeah, probably, like it might
Speaker 1: have been near. There's like not an actual comedy venue.
Speaker 1: No it wasn't. It was a gorgeous old old theater. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: beautiful old theater. Yeah yeah, Hey, what do you want
Speaker 1: to promote? Where can we find more? Um, we're still recording,
Speaker 1: and then you impress off and it was back to
Speaker 1: when you woke up again. That was the worst fucking feeling.
Speaker 1: And I certainly wasn't going to show up your filthy,
Speaker 1: like homeless person. Now I'm gonna be on the mic.
Speaker 1: They'll just eat a disgusting yeah, and they'll burp into
Speaker 1: the mic and like all right, cool. You know what
Speaker 1: I keep thinking now is I look up these dates.
Speaker 1: I wonder if on porn shoots. You know, it's the
Speaker 1: same thing. On the good ones, they're like, do you
Speaker 1: want to monster energy drain? On the bad ones, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you wanted last they give it to you from the
Speaker 1: tap and a dirty coffee. I'm gonna be on April eleventh,
Speaker 1: the Live at Gotham. They're doing a nice live some
Speaker 1: kind of weird three D taping that goes across, but
Speaker 1: it might. April eleven the Gotham Comedy Club in New
Speaker 1: York City, and uh what else? April seventh, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be a Caralines on Broadway and I have a new
Speaker 1: album out called Confederate Fag. I love it. I love
Speaker 1: that joke on Spotify and iTunes and all that ship
Speaker 1: and my face is superimposed on a body that's not mine.
Speaker 1: It's not I'm not a bodybuilder anymore. And what social media?
Speaker 1: Where can we find oh, francoholic on m Instagram, f
Speaker 1: R A n K A h O L I C
Speaker 1: frankly Atti on Twitter? And that's it. That's enough, perfect,
Speaker 1: whatever you want, We just want you to be accessible.
Speaker 1: I'm very approp you guys. You know, just you look
Speaker 1: them up, send him your comedy tapes, if you have
Speaker 1: a tight five, if you have a tight hole or that,
Speaker 1: or I'm sure there's both. Guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening to guys. We fucked the anti slut shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you next Friday. Hello, seventh Gradecome, that's
Speaker 1: a nuts he burband hang out, flower child Famine taints
Speaker 1: are running out, child fairs bumps A test and he
Speaker 1: doesn't care for glorous. Give me a sign you worm
Speaker 1: rays like flower. Give me a sign your fig raise
Speaker 1: like f