Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karn. We're Sorry about Last Night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast I never stopped. Welcome to another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked, the anti sluck shaming podcast from Luminary Media.
Speaker 1: I'm Karin Fisher. I'm Christina Hutchinson and you can find
Speaker 1: us on all social media at Sorry About Last Night,
Speaker 1: which is our comedy duo. It's s r y about
Speaker 1: Last n y T on Twitter specifically, and on all
Speaker 1: social media. My handle is Philanthropy Gal and mine is
Speaker 1: Christina hutch Follow us, won't you? Oh? Hello everyone, we
Speaker 1: are here with Chris Stephano Hide. You really spread your
Speaker 1: legs wide as soon as we pressed it's healthy, guys,
Speaker 1: get it checked? Oh I didn't know if it was
Speaker 1: healthy to air it out like that. Do you get
Speaker 1: your prostate checked? I thought you had to wait till
Speaker 1: you're like forty. You yeah, you should wait to your forty.
Speaker 1: I just don't do it for fun. The thing is, ever,
Speaker 1: since I gained like medical knowledge in school, I just
Speaker 1: know too much about everything, So I just like, like
Speaker 1: I got a colon oscar pe last year I'm thirty
Speaker 1: four and they're like, yeah, you're fine. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I just want to take a look Sie
Speaker 1: there would come back when you're fifty. I was like, cool,
Speaker 1: but it just helps me to like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know I'm an idiot. Well I don't think
Speaker 1: you're an idiot at all, but you do get what's
Speaker 1: the thing where you well? Yes, but also there's been
Speaker 1: a lot of awakening good old chrissy bit hips I feel.
Speaker 1: I felt like I felt like like last year I
Speaker 1: got a colonoscopy and I prostrate. I got all that
Speaker 1: stuff checked last year upon your request. Upon yeah, my
Speaker 1: doctors were like you're a young man. I was like,
Speaker 1: I know, but I want you to look at my hands,
Speaker 1: tell me touch my ass. You're fingering me and they
Speaker 1: But then I realized, like being a hypochondriac and all
Speaker 1: that it's all I kind of like just misdirected narcissism,
Speaker 1: and it's like all that all that energy there is
Speaker 1: just like no, we're all gonna die. It's just gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Like why am I wasting this energy? Checking my pulse,
Speaker 1: checking my blood pressure, I'm like, what do I have cancer.
Speaker 1: If you do, you do. If you don't, you don't.
Speaker 1: Just use it for my kid, use it for my
Speaker 1: kid in my career. So it's like so now it's
Speaker 1: like listen, I mean you hit the full opposite of hypochondra.
Speaker 1: I mean like, if you have cancer, we have advancements
Speaker 1: that can stop a lot of them. Things like instead
Speaker 1: of wasting the energy of getting a colonoscopy, just take
Speaker 1: your kid to the park, take on the swing instead
Speaker 1: of you know, waiting to get your asshole fingered by
Speaker 1: a doctor to tell your prostates not large because you're
Speaker 1: a young man. I'm a young man. And it's also like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I take It's like one of those things where it's
Speaker 1: like take precautions. I try to eat right and exercise
Speaker 1: and do all the things you're supposed to do. But
Speaker 1: it's like and that's it, Like my kid, something happened
Speaker 1: to my kid. Then it's like we have to focus
Speaker 1: like fucking energy on this. But as long as my
Speaker 1: kids find the career is fine, I'm like, whatever ship happened.
Speaker 1: So before you had a kid, you were just walking
Speaker 1: around just sweating that you had all the things as
Speaker 1: much as I thought. You know, I'm a giving person.
Speaker 1: I give to the homeless, I volunteer, I do. I'm
Speaker 1: the person who always and it's really my mother just
Speaker 1: always used to do this, so I was just like
Speaker 1: second nature, like I always especially in the summertime, I'm
Speaker 1: always giving water to the homeless. Isn't that crazy, like
Speaker 1: buying water bottles very always like putting out a bowl
Speaker 1: or laugh this up, Harry, come on, um No, I
Speaker 1: always just buy. Like if I see a homeless person outside,
Speaker 1: like a Delhi and I'm going into the deli, I
Speaker 1: always buy water for that. So I'm like, oh I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, that's just that's just what my
Speaker 1: mother used to do. So so I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a good person. But then it was like also
Speaker 1: like the tradition, that's what my mother used always to
Speaker 1: buy homeless waters and bagels. That's what she would do. Scot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it started being just homeless people just congregate on my student,
Speaker 1: They're like this lady just gives out bagels. So we
Speaker 1: had you back on the podcast because we fucked, but
Speaker 1: we sucked after we did. I'm finally back in the
Speaker 1: sex chamber. Started here and then it went downstairs. It
Speaker 1: was a little was it over there a little bit?
Speaker 1: I forget I remember it being on the and I
Speaker 1: find out why I'm sitting on it. So I'm just
Speaker 1: used to it by now. It really always does like
Speaker 1: it's just but that was that was last year. I
Speaker 1: would say it was, Yeah, that was? But did we Chicago?
Speaker 1: Was that after? Before? That was after? Yeah, Chicago. I
Speaker 1: definitely want to have sex with you, but I assign
Speaker 1: this infection, which is it common thing with me? Why
Speaker 1: does that have to do with sex? Because I just
Speaker 1: usually like I just was dealing. It's probably was in
Speaker 1: my mind at that time, but I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to try to like make a move, but
Speaker 1: like I actively, like my throat hurts and I just
Speaker 1: feel affected. So I'm just gonna don't sleep. I felt
Speaker 1: that there was like a flirty. There was like a
Speaker 1: yeah I wanted was raining out? Like I definitely would
Speaker 1: have great rain after the hotel sex? Oh you wanted
Speaker 1: to do it in the afternoon? Sure? Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: feeling it. Then I needed a day. Quoll Oh my god,
Speaker 1: was it you or was it was it your brain
Speaker 1: or was it your body that needed the day? Quill here,
Speaker 1: let me tell you again more awakening I think awaken. Well,
Speaker 1: I think awakening because I think I think, and I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is true. It just could be
Speaker 1: in my own mind. But I just feel so much
Speaker 1: better as like a human being over there. I would
Speaker 1: say the last six months five to six months, Um,
Speaker 1: I think I was not dealing, even though I was,
Speaker 1: you know, not publicly, but like to my friends and family,
Speaker 1: was like I don't care about I wanted to break
Speaker 1: up with my kids. Mom. It was like we we
Speaker 1: weren't supposed to be together anyway. It was a one
Speaker 1: night stand and we have a kid, like she's nuts
Speaker 1: and all this stuff. But I was really taking it hard.
Speaker 1: I just wasn't like I just wasn't like when I
Speaker 1: my last scarfend before that, like I was dead. This
Speaker 1: stated with Carly when actually devastated on the floor like
Speaker 1: I can't handle this, and it was like and that
Speaker 1: was like I'm never gonna let this happen to me again,
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah blah. And then I think like
Speaker 1: with Jasmine, my daughter's mother, I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: like whatever, we broke up. I'm sad, but it's like
Speaker 1: it's not like it was with Carly. But like I
Speaker 1: was just not process was daughter's mother like fucking traumatized.
Speaker 1: It can be said in other ways, like it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to always be like crying on the floor side.
Speaker 1: It can just be like a kind of a lingering sadness,
Speaker 1: which sometimes it's worse. It's worse. So like I noticed,
Speaker 1: like you know, I went from like Jesus like two
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty pounds like to fifty close to having
Speaker 1: all this sex that was completely like just like you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say meaningless, but I just wasn't
Speaker 1: present for anything anything. I wasn't present. And then about
Speaker 1: five months ago, and I was continuing on with this
Speaker 1: lifestyle just but not you know, just being like you
Speaker 1: were numbing yourself as other bullshit. It's this, it's that's whatever,
Speaker 1: because I'm like I don't really care about her. And
Speaker 1: then once I found out that she had another boyfriend,
Speaker 1: it all kind of was like wait a minute, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, Like I ruined my fucking family, so
Speaker 1: it was like crazy. So I was like holy shit.
Speaker 1: And then and then I was like fuck, like I
Speaker 1: can that's that's what That's what I was like dealing with.
Speaker 1: But then now I'm at a point where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it still makes me sad at times, but
Speaker 1: like I totally understand. I accept everything. I accept, you
Speaker 1: know what when I get my time with my daughter
Speaker 1: in our relationship and uh supporting my daughter's mother's relationship
Speaker 1: and her I've never really met her boyfriend or whatever
Speaker 1: they are, but I just I would. But it's just
Speaker 1: like really about like you know, I don't think she
Speaker 1: really didn't yet, which I understand. But it was one
Speaker 1: of those things where I had to like look myself
Speaker 1: in the mirror and be like no, Chris, like you
Speaker 1: had a big part in fucking this up too. It
Speaker 1: wasn't just your daughter's mom being like you cheated on
Speaker 1: me on the road, you know. It was like you know,
Speaker 1: you had all this responsibility. And then once I kind
Speaker 1: of dealt with that, then I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: like this is my new life now, Like I have
Speaker 1: a home for me and my daughter, we have separate lives.
Speaker 1: Let me get me healthy and now it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: working out all the time, like mentally very healthy used
Speaker 1: to be. I think I talked about this on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Maybe you and I talked about it, like I would
Speaker 1: have sex with a girl and then never hear from
Speaker 1: them again. Yeah. Done. But now there's been like a
Speaker 1: couple of return customers where because where I think because
Speaker 1: I'm present, because like and going down on girls all
Speaker 1: that stuff. I last week's butt last week. When it
Speaker 1: first happened, like two months ago, this girl, you know,
Speaker 1: we were like cook talking or whatever, blah blah blah
Speaker 1: and all that same bullshit like it always is. And
Speaker 1: then we had sex, and I was like, I'll just
Speaker 1: never talk to her again, you know, like that's just
Speaker 1: what it is. And then she talked to me the
Speaker 1: next day. She was like, hey, are you around today.
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean you want to
Speaker 1: hook up again? She was like yeah. I was like
Speaker 1: what why? Because I just was like and then she
Speaker 1: was like yeah, didn't you think it was great? She's
Speaker 1: like I came three times, like you came, nobody comes,
Speaker 1: you know. Yes. So now it's like this thing where
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I'm not saying like I'm a fucking,
Speaker 1: you know, sex porn star guy, but I'm very present
Speaker 1: in the moment. Now, I do get I did get
Speaker 1: a little too crazy, um like six weeks ago, and
Speaker 1: I just took a condom off dumb, but I have
Speaker 1: no sts and she's not pregnant. But that was ridiculous.
Speaker 1: But it was all hot sex in the moment that
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done, that we should have done. I couldn't.
Speaker 1: But it was one of those things where it's like
Speaker 1: I would speak to other friends of mine, like over
Speaker 1: the last couple of years and like that, like my
Speaker 1: friends from home, and it was like, yeah, I never
Speaker 1: my friend guy's a fireman. He's like, I never used condom.
Speaker 1: He's like, I just have sex with women. I'm whatever,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you don't use condoms and like all
Speaker 1: these punced fears. He was like, no, this guy is
Speaker 1: just in the moment, just having sex. Well that's that's one.
Speaker 1: That's a different thing though. He's yeah, he's hepes but whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about taking a deal really well, it's definitely
Speaker 1: not that big of a deal because so many people
Speaker 1: have it. I don't have it. Blood results to prove that.
Speaker 1: We Also, the penis is like kind of impenetrable, so
Speaker 1: like women lose again on that because it's much easier
Speaker 1: to contract an s t I when you have a
Speaker 1: vagina than like then with a penut like than with
Speaker 1: heterosexual sex, putting a penis into a vagina. There's very
Speaker 1: few things that you can get easily. Yeah, A good point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because when we had sex, right, so, we had the
Speaker 1: flirty like weekend in Chicago, and I was like, he's
Speaker 1: so cute, I gotta fuck him. And then and then
Speaker 1: we were going to hang out and then you just
Speaker 1: kept bailing. Yeah, which I but I know you're not
Speaker 1: like you're You're such a great guy and you're so
Speaker 1: nice that I knew it wasn't. I was like, you're
Speaker 1: either anxious or you're just busy because you have a
Speaker 1: It was a lot of stuff, but there was a
Speaker 1: lot of excuses that were very truthful in my mind.
Speaker 1: I have my kid, I have a well, like I mean,
Speaker 1: I could convince myself that my Second Hour Special truthful
Speaker 1: in my mind. I could have, you know, like say
Speaker 1: I had a show or I had to pick up
Speaker 1: my daughter, and all those things were technically true. But
Speaker 1: I could have like my mother could have watched my daughter,
Speaker 1: or I could have went to the show a little.
Speaker 1: I could have make my own spots on. But I
Speaker 1: would say, oh, I can't go meet up with you.
Speaker 1: But really, what it was is. I'm still I'm not
Speaker 1: over my ex. That's really what it was. And I
Speaker 1: just believe that now because now I am over her.
Speaker 1: I mean, I get emotional sometimes thinking about when I
Speaker 1: say family, that chokes me up. But when I just
Speaker 1: talk about her, me and her, it's like she could
Speaker 1: be with her boyfriend right now and that wouldn't hurt me.
Speaker 1: What would hurt me potentially is like her going on
Speaker 1: a vacation with my daughter, because then it's family. I
Speaker 1: don't know that. Even my father got divorced to my
Speaker 1: mother when they were one, and he was like Chris,
Speaker 1: like even still to this day, there are times when
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I wish we were a family,
Speaker 1: but it's just you know, that doesn't go away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're still a family. It's just a non traditional family structure,
Speaker 1: and like you could think of it negatively, but or
Speaker 1: you could think of it of like, wow, she has
Speaker 1: this opportunity to go on like two vacations this year
Speaker 1: because you take her on one, then you're Jasmine takes her.
Speaker 1: I do I think I'll I can see myself getting there.
Speaker 1: I'm just not there yet with that part of it.
Speaker 1: I'm very because you have this idea of family in
Speaker 1: your head that you grew up with and then you
Speaker 1: were taught about because you know what really the truth
Speaker 1: was is. I was like, oh, I come from divorce household.
Speaker 1: My mom and dad actually got pregnant very quickly, kind
Speaker 1: of very similar to like I think there were like
Speaker 1: five dates as opposed to like me being in the
Speaker 1: first date. So I was like, this is the way
Speaker 1: I grew up. Even though I felt like I have
Speaker 1: very good, very good parents that were co parents, I
Speaker 1: was like, I want to have like a wholesome family.
Speaker 1: I want to have like a wife and a kid
Speaker 1: in my life. Just didn't work out that way. It
Speaker 1: worked out the way kind of like what I saw.
Speaker 1: So I have to let go of that. And I'm
Speaker 1: in the process of of letting go because I think,
Speaker 1: like I can identify my big problems um now. And
Speaker 1: I was using sex a lot to like as like
Speaker 1: a instead of doing cocaine, and because like, look, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna sit. I'm not like, um you know, saying
Speaker 1: like oh I can't funk anybody I want. It's not
Speaker 1: but it's like you know, like whatever, like the career
Speaker 1: and stuff like sex is very available to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a guy. It's it's pretty available. You can
Speaker 1: do it like girls are in the d M, like
Speaker 1: he have sex with me, come on, and so I
Speaker 1: could do it. I could like sniff line. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like doing lines of coke. I can just do it.
Speaker 1: But now I don't. Now it's like girls will message
Speaker 1: and you know that allow, yeah, just read them and
Speaker 1: or something. I don't read them. I just declined them
Speaker 1: because I know it's that's all empty ship. Now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: trying meditating or something. I've been meditating. Meditating and boxing.
Speaker 1: I know that's very different things. One is hitting, one
Speaker 1: is breathing. But it's a good Boxing has a very
Speaker 1: specific rhythm to it. I actually think of boxing when
Speaker 1: I think of stand up, even though I boxed very mildly,
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, there's this there's this rhythm. They have
Speaker 1: to read to it. It's your Yeah, it's my heart pumping.
Speaker 1: And Sergio Chicon, who I bring on the road with
Speaker 1: me on who's a great guy. You know he suffered
Speaker 1: with like alcoholism and drug addiction and stuff. He's open
Speaker 1: about it, and you know, I bring him with me
Speaker 1: because he was like, hey, man, like I don't know
Speaker 1: that you're here sex addict. But I mean there will
Speaker 1: be times like I remember six months ago, we were
Speaker 1: in a hotel, I like went, I forgot what the
Speaker 1: city Philadelphia, and we were having I had sex with
Speaker 1: this girl, and then I came back to the room
Speaker 1: and I was facetiming a girl and she was naked
Speaker 1: another woman, and then I had sex with a woman
Speaker 1: after the show, and he was like, listen, man, He's like,
Speaker 1: we're guys. You know, he's a father too. He's like,
Speaker 1: where guys, and what this? All this stuff is cool?
Speaker 1: I get it. He's like, but it's a little I
Speaker 1: don't know about this behavior think about acting out. And
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that. I just thought like, oh, it's great.
Speaker 1: I'm having sex with these women. It's part of the job.
Speaker 1: You know. It's great and I'm lucky. But it's not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so funny this stuff we tell ourselves that allows
Speaker 1: us to go on with a particular behavior, and then
Speaker 1: we never get to that root of it. And then
Speaker 1: that root of like you had maybe a void when
Speaker 1: you were a child, and and of maybe not wanting
Speaker 1: a whole family and then wanting to fill that void
Speaker 1: so badly, and then not wanting to do with the
Speaker 1: pain of that. And look, sex especially, I mean it's
Speaker 1: powerful for both sexes, but like the power of like
Speaker 1: a vagina to like a man, like it's just like
Speaker 1: it's so it's so fucking hard to say no because
Speaker 1: you're like this scroll like I can't. It's like animalistic.
Speaker 1: It's like I want to have sex with her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm a lot better now at like, you know,
Speaker 1: not just jumping at every woman to make me feel better,
Speaker 1: you know, And I think that's what I was doing
Speaker 1: potentially with you. It was like this is about me,
Speaker 1: it's not about you. That's why I'm like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: like my babe. But now, but now, at least it
Speaker 1: be better. I would understand that there's two people involved.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't consciously like I was an awakening, so
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be selfish with like dust over here.
Speaker 1: I wasn't consciously doing that with you, like a subconscious yeah,
Speaker 1: because I was asking myself that I was part that
Speaker 1: I was. It was a two way street, and I
Speaker 1: was like, she had good time, but it's like it
Speaker 1: was all lies to myself. Is that why you leave?
Speaker 1: She had a good time? I was like she had
Speaker 1: a good time. You know, how does I get on
Speaker 1: my fucking Corolla? When we met up, what do we do?
Speaker 1: We met up at the seller or something for a drink,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was I was like, oh man,
Speaker 1: because we had we were going to hang out so
Speaker 1: many times before that, and I was like, oh, we're
Speaker 1: gonna fuck because you're so we have We're very flirty
Speaker 1: and you're so charming and cute, like you're just so cute.
Speaker 1: Um and and so when we got back to my
Speaker 1: house and I was like, I feel like, I don't
Speaker 1: your energy. Your energy, I felt it wasn't present from
Speaker 1: pretty much when you walked in, and I wanted that
Speaker 1: made me want to drink more, But I don't know
Speaker 1: if I don't think I did, but uh, well we do.
Speaker 1: Lasked for a while a while. Yeah, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: one of the first things you said to me was
Speaker 1: quite And I was like, well, so did you say that?
Speaker 1: Like in the living room? More happening downstairs? And then
Speaker 1: it was down there okay. Also, there was like a
Speaker 1: big thing that I just don't do anymore, Like I
Speaker 1: was always like be constantly worried. Um, Like I probably
Speaker 1: wasn't president if I was like checking my phone because
Speaker 1: it was like if my ex texts me or calls me,
Speaker 1: like and I again, which is all just subconsciously being
Speaker 1: like you want her to call you and text you
Speaker 1: because you want her to be like come back home.
Speaker 1: But now it's like we could have startups. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: even think about my phone. I wouldn't think about that.
Speaker 1: But I was always like, makes so much sense, But
Speaker 1: I would always say to myself, Oh, it's I'm nervous
Speaker 1: about her texting me. What if she hears It's like,
Speaker 1: you're nervous about it because you don't want her to
Speaker 1: hear this because you want to go back out. You
Speaker 1: want to be back on your phone. Okay, you know
Speaker 1: girls don't want you out there back and call like
Speaker 1: they like. It seems like they do with the behavior,
Speaker 1: but they don't want to. I'm still glad we're having
Speaker 1: this conversation because there's been times in my life where
Speaker 1: I've had sex with a person that I'm like, something's up,
Speaker 1: and it kills me inside. I know this is my problem,
Speaker 1: but it kills me that I'll never know what's actually
Speaker 1: going on. And so with with what you're telling me
Speaker 1: all of this, I'm like, that's yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: that's let me get to the bottom fields, right what
Speaker 1: I'm saying it could. It feels right to me too.
Speaker 1: It's good to know that you're not just bad at sex. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean I still might be. I know. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying like I'm the thing. It seems like that, just
Speaker 1: like what you're saying, because you seem to be very honest,
Speaker 1: because you say both good and disparaging things about yourself.
Speaker 1: So like if you now have repeat customers, I think
Speaker 1: that's telling you that you're now present, and when you're present,
Speaker 1: you're better. And it's limited a lot now Like now, like, um,
Speaker 1: there's not like this like you know, like all these
Speaker 1: women that I it's like I don't wanna you don't
Speaker 1: want to just anything like now, it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: a little bit more meaningful. I'm not looking. I don't
Speaker 1: know that I want a girlfriend or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but it's it's like it's if I'm going to have sex,
Speaker 1: it's it feels like more meaningful. So just a powerful thing.
Speaker 1: Come over you. Yeah you did can get tired too,
Speaker 1: I imagine, Well yeah, well then then it starts. Then
Speaker 1: that thing starts to happen where like I didn't. I
Speaker 1: went through a phase like I didn't want to have sex,
Speaker 1: and I was like, now am I gay? What's happening now?
Speaker 1: And it's all like this confusion ye patterns though, I
Speaker 1: mean even as a woman, I've got I've gone through
Speaker 1: these like where you just like funk for a couple
Speaker 1: of months, like kind of meaninglessly, but like it's not
Speaker 1: I don't think it becomes a problem unless you're doing
Speaker 1: it for like years at a time. To do it,
Speaker 1: you know, once every couple of breakups for a couple
Speaker 1: of months, Like I think it's pretty normal and a
Speaker 1: lot of people actually do it, so you shouldn't beat
Speaker 1: yourself up about it. I think like the one of
Speaker 1: the big awakening things for me is Sergio kind of
Speaker 1: saying that, you know, Sergio was like, hey, wake up, uh, Jasmine,
Speaker 1: you know, having a boyfriend. And then there was one
Speaker 1: time where I had um sex with this girl and
Speaker 1: like the backseat of a car and some parking lot
Speaker 1: in and I left my car key my car key
Speaker 1: fell out of my r and then I went to
Speaker 1: the hotel and then the next morning was like, where's
Speaker 1: my car where's my car key? And missed like an
Speaker 1: event in my daughter's life, Like I was supposed to
Speaker 1: be home for that, like and I mean it was small,
Speaker 1: but to me it's big, you know. So it was
Speaker 1: like I was like supposed to take her to a
Speaker 1: birthday party and I couldn't take her. And she was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to be there on Sunday
Speaker 1: morning to take you, and then I couldn't because I
Speaker 1: had to get a car key and it took all
Speaker 1: day and all that ship and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is like, why did you do this? Having sex someone
Speaker 1: in a parking lot? Like what are you doing at
Speaker 1: a hotel? Yeah? Yeah, so stupid. And well Sergio was
Speaker 1: in the hotel. That's the problem. And so it's like,
Speaker 1: and that's another thing, share a hotel room. Well I
Speaker 1: started initially doing that, but that's what but now I don't.
Speaker 1: But there was addic behavior. I would happily do that,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like I'm like a surge. Like I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just gonna go out. I was like
Speaker 1: the vending machines broken in the hotel, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: go to friends, flying to friend. He was like, I
Speaker 1: don't care and he and he's very because he was like, Chris,
Speaker 1: I don't care, man, you do whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: We're grown men. And then but he knows what's happening.
Speaker 1: And then and he's like, I told you so he
Speaker 1: would be like, I'm telling you, man, like you just
Speaker 1: got to get it in check. Because he got it
Speaker 1: in check. He had a real problem with drugs and
Speaker 1: alcohol and it's completely in check now six years and
Speaker 1: his life is beautiful. Wow, that's amazing. In check. It's really, yeah,
Speaker 1: just getting down to the fucking root of the problem.
Speaker 1: I feel like sex. Sex is one of the strongest
Speaker 1: band aids that people use for themselves, and it's so
Speaker 1: common for people to use it, and it's like, man,
Speaker 1: just rip it off, get ahold of yourselves and truly
Speaker 1: figure out what it's not fun. I don't, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: to figure out what your what your problems are, what
Speaker 1: your problems are. But I think once you do, you can, man, Yeah, limitless.
Speaker 1: I feel very focused on career stuff, exercise, my health,
Speaker 1: my daughter. And I think it's because I removed a
Speaker 1: large amount of sex from my life and I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I need, you know, I'm still like jerk
Speaker 1: off and stuff like. It's like, fine, he's still man.
Speaker 1: I'm still man. Who living room down? Put out that fire?
Speaker 1: That fire? I have a little I was. I was
Speaker 1: like I was gonna put the chimney fire out, but
Speaker 1: I actually just put out that bad bath and beyond candle.
Speaker 1: You don't have a lot of I don't have. You
Speaker 1: don't have a little dick. I will not say you
Speaker 1: have a good dick. Women do tell me I have
Speaker 1: a very nice dick. Of chat out to uh whoever
Speaker 1: circumcised me? They always say, very smooth chick. It is
Speaker 1: very smooth. I will say, have there been rigid circumcisions
Speaker 1: or like some guys got like piece of valleys, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I've ever seen a dick that
Speaker 1: looked like it was like cut with one of those
Speaker 1: like scissors that does the design on the like like
Speaker 1: what I've seen some friends dicks are like, you know,
Speaker 1: guys just fucking send dicks to the d M And
Speaker 1: it's like this is a dirty dick. Oh what's a
Speaker 1: dirty dick? Like just a disgusting looking penis? Yeah yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: So wait, so you're hypochondriact thing, but you're not so
Speaker 1: because you I said this on your podcast History of Hyenas,
Speaker 1: because the honest is like Chrissy d has no repeat customers.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, but you didn't finger me
Speaker 1: or eat me out, but I would now. But so
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get stripped throat because you want to
Speaker 1: finger me because you bite your nails. But you didn't
Speaker 1: tell me that in the moment I learned that on
Speaker 1: your podcast. Are these are just excuses you were making up?
Speaker 1: Or these real? Because yeah, I wanted to finger her.
Speaker 1: Yeah I think I wanted to finger her, but I think, um, now,
Speaker 1: like first of all, I have I went down on
Speaker 1: a couple of women. I told you licked an ass
Speaker 1: last week, and no sore throat or anything. But if
Speaker 1: it's kind of like one of those things, like if
Speaker 1: there was to be a sore throat, it's just I
Speaker 1: just deal with its opposed to human trying to avoid
Speaker 1: everything like I can't do it. I'm it's like on
Speaker 1: my in my stand up, I'll like joke about it,
Speaker 1: I've material about it, I'll go with it, thank you,
Speaker 1: and it does well. And it but it does well.
Speaker 1: It's not funny when you're the woman not getting fingered.
Speaker 1: But it's funny. It's a funny joke. Yeah, so so
Speaker 1: I but I just I'll just deal with it now,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean as opposed to like trying
Speaker 1: to prevent everything. It's like, okay, if you get the
Speaker 1: ship's yes, it's like, yeah, because you told me on
Speaker 1: your podcast that a doctor told you because my tonsils
Speaker 1: are so big that i's bacteria that will get caught
Speaker 1: on them and I can get my tonsils removed. Pussy Wait,
Speaker 1: did a doctor really say this? The only the only
Speaker 1: time I've heard of any throat related illness from eating
Speaker 1: pussy Cat Jones and Michael Douglas. That's supposed story of
Speaker 1: him getting and getting actual throat cancer. Yeah, he got
Speaker 1: sore throats. Yeah, well, you know, he apparently got a
Speaker 1: throat cancer from giving Catherine' Dada Jones coney lingus. But
Speaker 1: I think that's just because he didn't want to deal
Speaker 1: with the wrath of Catherine's Dada Jones, so he probably
Speaker 1: orchestrated a huge cancer scare. You know, it passed him.
Speaker 1: He's a huge star, and I a lot of women. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: who knows. Yeah, I've never heard I've never had a
Speaker 1: boyfriend get a sore throat from eating me out, But
Speaker 1: you've gotten a sore throat for me a girl? Or
Speaker 1: was that all on your head? No? No, no, well
Speaker 1: there was one contract. You can like pretend to feel
Speaker 1: the feelings of the of the sickness. No, there was
Speaker 1: one time. Multiple times were like yeah like it one
Speaker 1: um what sore? One time I got like full blown strap.
Speaker 1: I had like a big thing that I was filming
Speaker 1: and I and I fucking really fucked myself. Are you
Speaker 1: sure it wasn't just a coincidence like that you just
Speaker 1: so much pussy and then coincidentally got it, because I mean,
Speaker 1: this feels a little sat on the girl and then
Speaker 1: two days later strap. Okay, I mean but was it winter?
Speaker 1: Were you working around without at Los Angeles March in
Speaker 1: l A? Okay, so it could I mean like maybe
Speaker 1: pussy had coal. I really want to look this up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know that this is but I don't even
Speaker 1: think when we were when we fucked, Well, I wasn't
Speaker 1: because I because I was it was like a year ago.
Speaker 1: You think I think it was about a year it was, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. It was it was cold out, I remember, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was Okay, So this winter. It wasn't this winter.
Speaker 1: It wasn't well Chicago, because was it to a year ago?
Speaker 1: Chicago was last February. Yeah, so it was maybe like
Speaker 1: a couple of it was a month. Okay, maybe it
Speaker 1: was a cold April night. Yeah, yeah, but I I don't.
Speaker 1: I was at a point where I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I like having casual sex now because I can advocate
Speaker 1: for myself. I can't like I'm not. I just I
Speaker 1: got it. You know. The last time I was single,
Speaker 1: I was twenty two. So I was like, let everyone,
Speaker 1: I'm not still gonna say. I don't know what the floor,
Speaker 1: but I remember I don't think I said anything, but
Speaker 1: what like in that moment, I'm so curious, just as
Speaker 1: like a social experiment. Sure, if if I would have said,
Speaker 1: you like, I don't even know what, I would say,
Speaker 1: I'm just this is like a I think in that moment,
Speaker 1: I would have just should I have taken your fingering fingering?
Speaker 1: I would have done no problem, Oh you would have.
Speaker 1: I would have done fingering. But if you were down
Speaker 1: on me, I probably would have come up with some
Speaker 1: excuse and just completely halted. Just I would have just said, like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to get a sore throat and just completely ruined.
Speaker 1: I've done that to plenty of women, it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, like all the sources are backing you up
Speaker 1: and it's not not it's just like it can happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not from like and it's these are from websites
Speaker 1: that I go to and trust, Like, this is not
Speaker 1: you're not What does it say? Just cant complication or
Speaker 1: something you can get. You can get common cold or
Speaker 1: strap throat. That's I mean, that's like because that's why
Speaker 1: they suggest using a dental dam a lot of times too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and also because and also you can have small small
Speaker 1: sores or cuts in your mouth that you can contract
Speaker 1: through that. Yeah. So I think between that and you know,
Speaker 1: biting my nails all the time, which I was so good.
Speaker 1: I didn't bitten my nails in a month and they
Speaker 1: were finally looking good, and then I clipped them three
Speaker 1: days ago, like I was like, oh that's good, and
Speaker 1: then I just fucking bit them all off. So but
Speaker 1: I will start from scratch again, sucked up. I just
Speaker 1: I'm learning, like I can't just gotta let them go
Speaker 1: and just go get a fucking manicure. It. But for
Speaker 1: a month in my life. I didn't buy my nails
Speaker 1: and I've never even done that. Some three years old,
Speaker 1: did they make nail polish for it? I tried all that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well no, if I didn't clip them like I would
Speaker 1: have have, I would have had like long nails. But
Speaker 1: I just clipped them. And then I saw like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I understand I did that a little bit,
Speaker 1: but I know, now, just don't clip them because I
Speaker 1: think you said this. I think that you don't finger girl.
Speaker 1: You didn't finger girls sometimes because you had like you
Speaker 1: bet your nails and you had like cut cuts on
Speaker 1: my fingers. Yeah, I guess that might be true too.
Speaker 1: Then that like you're not you're not off with that
Speaker 1: is I would get a lot. Yeah, there was. I
Speaker 1: think like I went to England like two thousand twelve, tarteen,
Speaker 1: and I remember I fingered this girl in America and
Speaker 1: then I got like an infection in my finger el
Speaker 1: stories them. Yeah, and I felt like and I was,
Speaker 1: you know, blaming not her, but I was in my head,
Speaker 1: I was like I got this finger infection from fingering
Speaker 1: this girl. Now I'm in a far away land and
Speaker 1: I but then it's like when I was in London.
Speaker 1: I was like, I just walked into a hospital because
Speaker 1: like my finger, like I couldn't actually bend my wrist,
Speaker 1: it was all swollen. And then so I was like
Speaker 1: I don't have like health. And it was my right
Speaker 1: hand too, so I'm a righty and they were like, hey,
Speaker 1: just fill out this form. I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: trying to write my left I could barely like write
Speaker 1: my name or anything. And then the doctor. The doctor
Speaker 1: was just like, he was like, it's fine the form.
Speaker 1: He was like, what's what's Are you allergic to penicillin?
Speaker 1: It's crazy like the healthcare system in the UK. He
Speaker 1: was like this is I'm like in the waiting room,
Speaker 1: He's like, are you allerged to penicillin? And I was
Speaker 1: like no. He was like just come back here, and
Speaker 1: then out of that, he gave me a shot in
Speaker 1: my finger and then put penicillin cream on it, and
Speaker 1: then he was uh and gave me a cream and
Speaker 1: pills like not you don't have to go to a pharmacy.
Speaker 1: There was nobody just gave me that. And then they
Speaker 1: gave me twenty five dollars to take a cab home
Speaker 1: if I wanted to, and they don't you have They
Speaker 1: don't have any of my information, Like I couldn't write
Speaker 1: my name, so they have nothing. It was just like,
Speaker 1: as long as you're not alleged to penicillin, like it's okay,
Speaker 1: And they said if it doesn't work in two days,
Speaker 1: just come back. I was like, what is it? This
Speaker 1: fucking easy? I mean I feel like they should have
Speaker 1: some sort of a record. Yeah they did. They have
Speaker 1: nothing on me because you're American. They're like whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: They probably by this, but I couldn't believe it. Like
Speaker 1: in an hour, my finger started feeling better, Like if
Speaker 1: that happened to me in New York, it would take
Speaker 1: three days before anything. Hapsolutely God, okay, okay, yeah, because
Speaker 1: I know that that that doesn't seem totally off that
Speaker 1: you could if you bait your nails and you had
Speaker 1: all these cuts on him, that you would it was
Speaker 1: something like being an idiot. And also if I saw
Speaker 1: someone with like gross fingers, I wouldn't want them. So
Speaker 1: so when was the first time you went down on
Speaker 1: someone that was like that wasn't your mother of your child? Um?
Speaker 1: I would say four months ago, maybe three four months
Speaker 1: or what like? What it was the work you were
Speaker 1: doing on herself with did the girl like help bring
Speaker 1: something out of it it? Because when we were working I
Speaker 1: wanted to say something, but I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I felt like I couldn't because I felt
Speaker 1: your wall. I felt your wall so hard, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not even getting a brick off of that wall nothing,
Speaker 1: So I'm just not gonna say anything. I just did it,
Speaker 1: and I was kind of just that thing. It's like,
Speaker 1: just deal with whatever happens. Happens. Who cares? If you
Speaker 1: could sore throat, Like, who cares, You'll be fine. And
Speaker 1: then I just didn't. It was great, and then it
Speaker 1: led to obviously I think, you know, like really good sex,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Well yeah, when you eat a girl out, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I have to be careful because I ate her
Speaker 1: out and then it's just like so hot. And then
Speaker 1: I just had unprotected sex, which is stupid. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's what it leads to. But it's just fucking stupid. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Was on the pill? Yeah, yeah, it was months ago.
Speaker 1: That's a little less stupid, yeah, but it's still just stupid.
Speaker 1: I have to just be I don't believe she didn't
Speaker 1: say anything either, just sex. Yeah, it's sucking dumb, but
Speaker 1: it feels so good. It feels really good. And then
Speaker 1: I know the p method is a method. And I
Speaker 1: used to like have like unprotected sex, like and then
Speaker 1: you know, before my kid's mom and just be like
Speaker 1: they know, they know, I'd just be panicking for three weeks,
Speaker 1: like the disease, she pregnant. But now it's like it happened.
Speaker 1: It's happened a couple of I use a condom nine
Speaker 1: percent at the time, but I was just like, it happened,
Speaker 1: It's happened a couple of times, and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: what if it who Yeah, she tells me if I
Speaker 1: get a disease, I'll deal with it. If she tells
Speaker 1: me she's pregnant, I'll deal with it. I'll just deal
Speaker 1: with it. I'll just deal with it. It's panic your
Speaker 1: whole life away and then have a kid and then
Speaker 1: so that's also a plan. But well that but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Pcent of time, Like the condom helps,
Speaker 1: you know, just I can be like, okay, I can relax,
Speaker 1: but you know, there's just a couple of times you
Speaker 1: just fucking rip it off. I was like, she looks fine,
Speaker 1: that's good. That's good, famous last words. She's a real
Speaker 1: estate agent. She's very sul She told me she doesn't
Speaker 1: want kids. I believe Wait she did she did? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Wait is that how many times have you met her? Um?
Speaker 1: I feel like what her? Um? Maybe we went out
Speaker 1: like twice and she's like, I don't want kids like
Speaker 1: she was like in her late thirties. She was like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want children. So that's nice, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: And then she was like saying like things. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry we didn't use a cons like I please,
Speaker 1: this baby would never happen. Trust me. I was like,
Speaker 1: seems like a woman in her late thirties trying to
Speaker 1: not to scare you. So I was going to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm naive to it, and then not naive
Speaker 1: to it. I got it. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: believe you, but I should have kept them because late thirties,
Speaker 1: like you know, could she she could get pregnant and
Speaker 1: she'd be like, I guess this is my last shot,
Speaker 1: like this could be this could be it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: never know how you feel? Yeah, I know I want
Speaker 1: to get back to the sex that you and I
Speaker 1: had because I have a question. Was I good? Yes,
Speaker 1: I was, Yeah, I remember we had sex on the
Speaker 1: You wanted to incorporate the phone roller. You wanted to
Speaker 1: lay on a phone roller, which I thought was yes,
Speaker 1: I have a phone roller, and I was wondering. I
Speaker 1: always thought it would be fun to funk on it.
Speaker 1: And then I was just feeling experimental with you because
Speaker 1: I feel very comfortable with you anyway, like we're just
Speaker 1: you're you you, You're very comforting to be around. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I kind of wanna can you fuck
Speaker 1: me on this phone roller? And then You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my knees hurt. But my knees were hurting too, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to say anything, but said I had
Speaker 1: to leap in my back too. You should have told
Speaker 1: me I had to leave on me. Okay, so wait,
Speaker 1: what was the position that you're both your knees were
Speaker 1: well because she was behind me, he was behind me,
Speaker 1: was up in the air. Where was the foam roll
Speaker 1: like on my thighs, like at the top of my thighs,
Speaker 1: because I had this idea because I was rolling out
Speaker 1: on the top of my thighs, have a nice ask.
Speaker 1: So it was nice. But but yeah, but I was
Speaker 1: I was a little preoccupied with the knee pain. Your
Speaker 1: knees does not feel good. No, I had a yelga
Speaker 1: met down there, but I have like a tile floor finished,
Speaker 1: and to be on your knees at this age over thirty,
Speaker 1: I didn't do it. Yeahhh, Like I'm constantly stretching my
Speaker 1: legs here because I was just cramping up having sex
Speaker 1: on a phone. Ro Yeah. We sucked on the phone
Speaker 1: for maybe like a minute. We're a going to get yeah,
Speaker 1: we gotta go back to it. We took a swing painful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was painful, but no, I thought it was great
Speaker 1: and I didn't regret anything about it. Um, I just
Speaker 1: wish I was more present, you know, Okay, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's I'm so glad that you put the puzzle pieces together,
Speaker 1: because I mean, then your life is only going to
Speaker 1: get better. Yeah. Better. I just feel like, I mean, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I guess we're all always works in progress,
Speaker 1: but having a child just it just feels like I
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta just sucking figure out as much
Speaker 1: as I can about myself. Yeah, And I feel like
Speaker 1: you did a real one. Eight damn trying. I'm trying.
Speaker 1: I didn't know any of this stuff when we also
Speaker 1: on History hyenas my podcast checking Out. Um, I don't say.
Speaker 1: It's like there's almost like a type of character I
Speaker 1: have to be to balance out honest, So it's like
Speaker 1: kind of me, but it's also it's like a high
Speaker 1: conversion of me. So I would never go my The
Speaker 1: fans who listened to our podcast, they don't want to
Speaker 1: hear this. They're like, why I talk about being wild
Speaker 1: and fucking say smooth cutth and just yell shit, be
Speaker 1: like cuzzy and act like an idiot. So sometimes my
Speaker 1: comedy on there is like I have to be like
Speaker 1: I'm dumb, but I'm not right. Yeah, no you're not.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not saying I'm the smartest guy. But it's
Speaker 1: just like I I can't do this on my podcast,
Speaker 1: So I would I had known this stuff about myself,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't just it's a better time to talk
Speaker 1: like this with you guys as because you honest with
Speaker 1: just gay, you know, like you would just say something
Speaker 1: fans you're gay, I'm gay. You know, it's like whatever,
Speaker 1: So did you learn this all like through yourself or
Speaker 1: do you actually see a therapist or no, I don't
Speaker 1: see a therapist. I should. I think that's all good,
Speaker 1: but it's great to have the break that therapist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it was just kind of, like, to be honest,
Speaker 1: a lot of things started to happen. I started to
Speaker 1: think of a lot of things in the middle of
Speaker 1: boxing or going on like long runs, where I was
Speaker 1: would have just been like eating or trying to like
Speaker 1: have sex with girls instead of the energy was somewhere
Speaker 1: else where I was trying to like exercise and being
Speaker 1: clear and just yeah, reflecting and and um, and then
Speaker 1: a lot of I do that. Um. Transcendental meditation, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would do it, and then I stopped doing it.
Speaker 1: But now I do it, and there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things that in my head at least become clear during
Speaker 1: those sessions. Sometimes nothing happens, but sometimes I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is what it is. What is transcendental twice a day.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to do it twice a day for twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: And it's basically just like a type of meditation, meditation
Speaker 1: that whatever comes in your mind is okay. Like some
Speaker 1: meditations like focus on this, focus on that. Their whole
Speaker 1: mindset is like, don't focus on anything, just close your eyes.
Speaker 1: You have a mantra that you can repeat. It's an
Speaker 1: ancient sound. Um. And then does everyone have a unique man,
Speaker 1: I don't know that there's like millions of them. I
Speaker 1: think there's like ten. I took a class and then
Speaker 1: like your guru, I guess, or he gives you the
Speaker 1: sound that's right for you, which is probably all bullshit
Speaker 1: and stupid. You could probably do anything, but the sound
Speaker 1: does keep me as locked in as possible. But but um, yeah,
Speaker 1: you just do it and like whatever comes in your mind,
Speaker 1: like you don't try to push out and just you
Speaker 1: just concentrate on the mantra. And then I noticed like
Speaker 1: a lot of um what was commonly coming in and
Speaker 1: I was like, um, you know, addressing it as it came. Thought,
Speaker 1: is it a terrifying though, Like the idea of doing
Speaker 1: it before before you actually take the time to do
Speaker 1: it and understand the benefits of it, it's terrifying. Oh
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. And I think like the whole thing is
Speaker 1: like I'm not even close to I don't think we're
Speaker 1: ever really done. I'm just happy that I'm better, you
Speaker 1: know today than I was yesterday kind of thing, because
Speaker 1: I'm like I'm never you know, sometimes I like watch
Speaker 1: these motivational speakers and I'm like, you know, the Tony
Speaker 1: Robbins of the world, the gary vs. Like they're all
Speaker 1: good and fine, but sometimes I'm like, stop telling everyone
Speaker 1: that they can do everything. It's like they can't shut up.
Speaker 1: People are going to ruin their fucking lives. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: people want to take on more than like you think
Speaker 1: you can shut up. It's like, just fucking I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm giving you ten thousand dollars for you to motivate me,
Speaker 1: stealing my money, giving it from the perspective of like
Speaker 1: a good looking, like tall, buff rich man. Uh. And
Speaker 1: so you can't give the same advice to like, you know,
Speaker 1: like that truthfully, And why we'll ask for like photos
Speaker 1: of people to send with advice that they're asking because
Speaker 1: I do give different advice based on like if you're
Speaker 1: three or if you're a ten, because fortunately that's the
Speaker 1: way the world works. It's like you can you can
Speaker 1: bitch and moan all you want. The truth is, the
Speaker 1: better looking physically you are, the more stuff you'll probably
Speaker 1: get in our society. It's just like that way. But
Speaker 1: it's what that way, honestly, just like there's other ways
Speaker 1: there's other suggestions or ways that you can go about
Speaker 1: getting what you want. And I would recommend a different
Speaker 1: roots depending on if you can lead lean into your
Speaker 1: looks or not at all. Absolutely, but also threes and
Speaker 1: tens of different strengths and weaknesses. Would be like, you
Speaker 1: know you're gonna go funny Smart's consider it if you
Speaker 1: think it's very smart. You know, yeah, I know. And
Speaker 1: if anybody was like, no, you shouldn't do that, it's like,
Speaker 1: that's you have to do. Yeah, yeah, it's it's no bullshit,
Speaker 1: So it's beyond your control. Yeah, thisquise good, isn't it good?
Speaker 1: They made They made the skinnier cans, but it's the
Speaker 1: same amount of liquid and then trying to trick you
Speaker 1: into thinking that you're skinnier by drinking that one. It's all.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have any sugar regardless. They just change in
Speaker 1: the shape of the camp. This is like the new
Speaker 1: drink vodka and Lacroix, just at the higher end in
Speaker 1: that camp because it's not the same shape as a
Speaker 1: soda can. That's true. Maybe that's it looks a little
Speaker 1: bit like you see, I gotta fucking soda can. Little
Speaker 1: drawer in my fridge and now that doesn't fucking fit
Speaker 1: marketing complain about when you're thirty one, they change the
Speaker 1: size of the lacroix. Can you know, August, August, what,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, August. That's fine, you're a man though
Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter does Unfortunately again things of society
Speaker 1: that we're trying to change. But we're patriarchy. I know
Speaker 1: we suck, but there's I mean, we suck, but there's
Speaker 1: a good man. Well, yeah, like I don't have you ever.
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, you don't have many instances in
Speaker 1: your life where you're just a dick because you just
Speaker 1: don't have that in you. Mean, you're nice person. But
Speaker 1: I also attribute it kind of your anxiety. Your anxiety
Speaker 1: has made you kind and empathetic. Well I think that.
Speaker 1: And my my mother is a very very like kind
Speaker 1: kind woman, So like I was like always with um,
Speaker 1: you know, grew up with her. So she's very very kind,
Speaker 1: and I think I have that in me. But also
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, I want to I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just want to get through like every day and like
Speaker 1: just be comfortable. And I feel like me being comfortable
Speaker 1: means like the people around me being comfortable, Like I
Speaker 1: just don't like even when I would get into like
Speaker 1: these blowout arguments with Jasmine, it's like this is all stupid,
Speaker 1: like we're never going to get this day back, so
Speaker 1: like why are we arguing about like complete bullshit? Like
Speaker 1: can we just stop? Like there's no reason. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't see ever. I know that they say arguing
Speaker 1: its health in relationship, and I'm sure it is, But
Speaker 1: for me, it's like I just don't get why we
Speaker 1: have to feel sad or upset at all day. It's
Speaker 1: just very silly to me. All feels like wasted energy.
Speaker 1: It's like you're never getting any of this time back,
Speaker 1: so just enjoy. It's just an energy that could be
Speaker 1: easily stoked because so quickly what it's meaningless like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think now though I do well, if something is
Speaker 1: really bothering me, I do, I'm a little bit more
Speaker 1: outspoken about it. I think I would just hold it
Speaker 1: in a lot and be like, I don't care, this
Speaker 1: doesn't affect me, and I think it did, but I'd
Speaker 1: just be like and maybe would come out in other ways.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you the boxing you, I just keet
Speaker 1: all that ship out every morning. It's just out. You
Speaker 1: box every morning pretty much boxing every day. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: take a class or do you do private or just
Speaker 1: go to a gym and hit a bag? I take classes,
Speaker 1: I private, but now I can just go to the gym.
Speaker 1: Now I just know what I'm doing kind of. But
Speaker 1: I'm would st that guy Sergio Alt and Andrew Collins.
Speaker 1: You know Andrew. It comes in sometimes in boxes and
Speaker 1: he takes a shirt up, like what are you doing?
Speaker 1: We're like, you look good, let's put your shirt up.
Speaker 1: These are you know, it's real boxers here, boxers, bottle boy,
Speaker 1: You're gonna get your fucking head caved in the artists
Speaker 1: formerly noticed the artist. Yeah but um but yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I not that I didn't stand up for myself,
Speaker 1: but I was just I just was all about, like
Speaker 1: nothing bothers me. I'm okayre happy. But now it's like
Speaker 1: I have to say stuff, say things to people, will
Speaker 1: communicate with them, and took them in the eye and
Speaker 1: didn't have an honest Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm so proud.
Speaker 1: That's great. Chris, Oh I'm gay. That's to say, guys
Speaker 1: come at me for you, and I'm excited to for
Speaker 1: your journey. What's happening to us. I just feel like
Speaker 1: you so um people. You guys did. I don't know
Speaker 1: when it's coming out, but you guys did a great
Speaker 1: um show at the Willburrow. Because some of the fans
Speaker 1: from your show. I was in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, which
Speaker 1: is like an hour away, and like I would say,
Speaker 1: like ten fans were at your wilbur show and the
Speaker 1: next day and I was just saying, how great it was.
Speaker 1: I love a double comedy show. That was one of
Speaker 1: the best gigs ever. How great is the wilbur Boston
Speaker 1: Number one? I love comedies in Philly are my two favorites.
Speaker 1: Comedy Chicago is a great comedy minds Boston, Buffalo, Buffalo Trouble.
Speaker 1: He's really got to go to places where they don't
Speaker 1: have anything else to look forward to. Yeah. I just
Speaker 1: did shows last week in Portland, Maine, and those were excellent.
Speaker 1: I've heard the comedy scene there was good. Yeah, we've
Speaker 1: never been to Portland. Was the third line there? Nice? Yeah,
Speaker 1: listen and are going to drive up? You're going? I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, they're not playing anywhere closer now,
Speaker 1: we want to got Town. It's a six hour drive,
Speaker 1: but like the Lopster. It's like just it's nice and
Speaker 1: quaint and cute. So it was Portsmouth, New Hampshire, so quaint,
Speaker 1: like I like the New England therein New Hampshire wasn't that,
Speaker 1: But I was like it was a good show. Like
Speaker 1: do you ever hear of Curley's Comedy Club. It's in
Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere, New Hampshire, but it was a
Speaker 1: great It's like when I say club, I mean like
Speaker 1: they wrote club on a small house. It was fucking
Speaker 1: so fun. Really, yeah, I want to do this summer.
Speaker 1: I want to do like a like a quaint and
Speaker 1: cute town comedies tour with like Jared Freed, like just
Speaker 1: me and quaint, your quaint little cute fucking towns. You
Speaker 1: guys are quaint and que quaint and que and we
Speaker 1: just do a look because I was like when I
Speaker 1: was in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Portland, Maine, it was like
Speaker 1: I love this ship and like just like what you
Speaker 1: ladies said, like they don't have comedy, they are really
Speaker 1: so it's like the whole town was like thank you.
Speaker 1: We just sit like we get our town is cute.
Speaker 1: But like after a while, like okay, like can let
Speaker 1: me come in and say. Fuck. Yeah, it's fun to
Speaker 1: come to those places from the city because you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: like saltwater taffy, like breakfast streets. Yeah. I think Portsmith
Speaker 1: was like built in sixteen twenty. It's like one of
Speaker 1: the first. It was beautiful up there. Damn. Yeah. Oh
Speaker 1: that's fun. So yeah, so that's what. Congrats to you. Thanks,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on the podcast to get well the
Speaker 1: other thing, well, really quickly I wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: well maybe but maybe this was because of the nature
Speaker 1: of your podcast, but when I was telling you about
Speaker 1: the sex we had on your podcast, and you were
Speaker 1: just very receptive, and I thought that was so like
Speaker 1: they Devin gave me hope for men that like a
Speaker 1: guy wasn't gonna get so butt hurt and eat like
Speaker 1: up his own asshole with his ego. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but maybe you were already been making those discoveries so
Speaker 1: you kind of knew that you Yeah, a different track,
Speaker 1: but I just really appreciate it. And then the fucking
Speaker 1: KFC guys at you fucking twats replayed the clip after
Speaker 1: I did the show, because I was gonna say anything
Speaker 1: unlessen I talk to you about it, and oh, fuck.
Speaker 1: I was so mad. I know, somebody came up to
Speaker 1: me and goes, I was at a live recording and
Speaker 1: they just replayed the two second clips over and over,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I get a life. I know, you
Speaker 1: know some reason like the thing that bothers me so
Speaker 1: fucking much, like I'm palpably bothered by like men who
Speaker 1: can't handle when the woman moves on or if like
Speaker 1: the woman, like a guy who like hits a girl,
Speaker 1: like kills a woman because it's like she wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: have anybody else, wasn't you know right right? Because it's
Speaker 1: it's I don't know, I still have to figure out
Speaker 1: why because my dad's not like that. But like since
Speaker 1: I've been a little kid, i'd be like that. It's
Speaker 1: the most disgusting quality instacure you're a man, it's the
Speaker 1: most like it's it's the only thing that like truly
Speaker 1: like emotionally it's disc like I'm like, you fucking loser, No,
Speaker 1: but I'm bringing up is I think like it's but
Speaker 1: like I think there's other men that like probably would
Speaker 1: say but like fucking like I would one thousand percent
Speaker 1: like get physically involved if I ever saw like that
Speaker 1: happening in front of me, and I think some guys
Speaker 1: would be like, oh, that's their ship and they would
Speaker 1: feel the same. I know, I don't think you know,
Speaker 1: but but like every time I see an insecure man,
Speaker 1: it's so gross, it's so like fucking gross, like I
Speaker 1: want to hit them. So um, I think that's why.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe because it's like I'm so violently moved the
Speaker 1: other way that when somebody says something about me like
Speaker 1: oh whatever, I it just doesn't bother me because I think, like, right,
Speaker 1: because it's like a button for you. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: like I'm so secure, but I'm so violently moved by
Speaker 1: insecure men. I think I can then be like, well,
Speaker 1: don't talk about how little my dick is, you know,
Speaker 1: or like whatever, it's not Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Speaker 1: Keep saying that that's be like why you're successful in
Speaker 1: this business though, because I mean, to be successful in
Speaker 1: entertainment you have to be able to handle rejection. And
Speaker 1: like you know, rejection is something that happens a lot
Speaker 1: in romantic or in sexual relationships, and happens a lot
Speaker 1: in the entertainment business no matter how great you are. Well,
Speaker 1: I think I think a big thing. You know, it's
Speaker 1: not a necessity, but what really helped me. And like
Speaker 1: you know, I'll push on my daughter unless she really
Speaker 1: doesn't want to. But like I really think like sports,
Speaker 1: like being coached, and like learning how to lose. Like
Speaker 1: some of my peers, some of my very very close peers,
Speaker 1: like they do not know how to take rejection or lose.
Speaker 1: And it's like you like it's very simple. It's like
Speaker 1: why are you flipping out for like you just lost,
Speaker 1: like the other guy got the part, or you didn't
Speaker 1: get into the common club but so and so did,
Speaker 1: or you didn't sell it so and so did, like
Speaker 1: Ferries Daggers. It doesn't have to It's like I've dealt
Speaker 1: with loss, losing games since I'm five years old. It's
Speaker 1: just like coaches my whole life, and like this, you
Speaker 1: deal with loss, deal with losing the game, So I
Speaker 1: could just deal with that. So I think, like I
Speaker 1: want I want my daughter to like have that in her.
Speaker 1: I want to fucking box. She loves boxing, Like I know,
Speaker 1: I know, but she's like she loves it. She's like
Speaker 1: that's what she wants for her birthday. She wants like
Speaker 1: a little pink boxing. So I wouldn't, like I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, if by the time she would like be sparring,
Speaker 1: it would be totally up to her. I wouldn't push
Speaker 1: her into that, and she would have to tell me.
Speaker 1: She would have to tell me at an older an
Speaker 1: age of like ten eleven years old, daddy, this is
Speaker 1: what I want to do, and then I could be okay,
Speaker 1: but like just to do the classes and like like
Speaker 1: learns like she wants to do it, Like she she
Speaker 1: practices her little hooks, and she's lefty, so it's like
Speaker 1: when you're a lefty boxer, she'll come at you with
Speaker 1: that ship. Yeah, because lefty is fucking hard to fight. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Her mom's a lefty too. I got caught in the
Speaker 1: face many a time by her mom mom. Yeah, with
Speaker 1: that left hook. You're like, oh well yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean that's box and lots of stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because even if she doesn't want to play like a
Speaker 1: traditional sport, like I mean like plays like plays get rejected,
Speaker 1: trolling squad, you can get things yeah, yeah, chorus, concert
Speaker 1: choire and also just like I think, like not being
Speaker 1: the best I think is good and then striving to
Speaker 1: be the best. Yeah, without like in a healthy way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there'll be no Like I think for me, it's like
Speaker 1: when we get as like she's in taekwondo now and
Speaker 1: she loves it and so it's great. Um, but it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like you don't have to be the best, Like
Speaker 1: you don't have to be the best, but also like
Speaker 1: you're not all winners, like worlds are not going to
Speaker 1: celebrate seventh place, no participation awards. I'm not going to say,
Speaker 1: don't talk to me anymore. If you come in seventh place,
Speaker 1: It's okay. It's like a for effort, but you didn't
Speaker 1: stop anything. Like we all get a trophy. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't. You don't all get a trophy. The first
Speaker 1: place gets a trophy. And I'm not saying put all
Speaker 1: the value on that, but it's like you can't, you know,
Speaker 1: because then because then I just feel like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: have to be on us with people. Yeah, either you're
Speaker 1: good or not, either good or not. I just hate that.
Speaker 1: There was a Halloween costume contest in my town and
Speaker 1: I took it very seriously and I would like spend
Speaker 1: weeks and weeks on this costume. And I would usually
Speaker 1: like win for a second or third, which are the
Speaker 1: trophy ones. And then they started giving participation words to everyone,
Speaker 1: like people would show up in like a fucking cowboy hat,
Speaker 1: and I was like this, now I'm angry. Now it's
Speaker 1: because it's like they're they're they're value to do. Because
Speaker 1: kids started crying and I'm like, well, maybe they need
Speaker 1: to cry, and then just learned that that was a
Speaker 1: dumb thing to cry about. Yeah. Yeah, my kid is
Speaker 1: in school now. Most of her classmates are Chinese, and
Speaker 1: why I don't know. She's just like the part of
Speaker 1: Brooklyn where I'm telling you. First of all, when she
Speaker 1: goes on these play dates with like Chinese kids. Number one,
Speaker 1: it's most you never meet Chinese. These kids, like I've
Speaker 1: never met their actual parents. It's always the grandparents because
Speaker 1: the parents are just working. It's not like some like
Speaker 1: you know, the other kid. It's like Mason's dad has
Speaker 1: a startup and you get to ask to talk to
Speaker 1: him about bullshit like my blog is taking off. Shut up.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, these Chinese people are just fucking working,
Speaker 1: like they're really actually working, contributing to society, and and
Speaker 1: they're not trying to find themselves at forty. This fucking
Speaker 1: guy Ben Fog is just out there in the factory,
Speaker 1: so good for him. And then and then when we
Speaker 1: do when the Chinese play dates, it's like there's no
Speaker 1: like is your child allerge to this? It's just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is just what we have. You're going to eat it.
Speaker 1: And if something, if you're allerged to it, We're just
Speaker 1: gonna deal with that. You're not gonna die. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then like my daughter, like I'm telling you, she
Speaker 1: had a play date last week and they were on
Speaker 1: an Avocus. All the whole play date. They were just
Speaker 1: playing with an Advocus and she was like, I want
Speaker 1: an Advocus. It's like like math, how like Chinese learned math?
Speaker 1: It was amazing Chinese learned math. It's a whole system.
Speaker 1: That's why they're very good at math because of the Advocus.
Speaker 1: They're not asking Barney to count their number. No. I'm
Speaker 1: like really, like so happy with the Chinese. I hope
Speaker 1: you always refer to them as full title Chinese plate,
Speaker 1: Chinese plates, because it's like these other white It was
Speaker 1: so annoying her. Sure, it's culture, man, I love it,
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I think it is a race thing.
Speaker 1: White people are in their own fucking head over everything. God,
Speaker 1: possibly because they can be Yeah, I just couldn't. Everything
Speaker 1: is a worry. Everything's a worry. A bit about white
Speaker 1: women and how they're so concerned over every and I'm
Speaker 1: one of them. I'm not. I'm not, but I think
Speaker 1: it's so fascinating. There's like a I feel it's like
Speaker 1: there's almost like this boredom that like because you're not
Speaker 1: being like no one's prejudiced against you. Yeah, it's like,
Speaker 1: how fun is your life? That hard? Probably not? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about you, but I'm talking about this.
Speaker 1: I was doing. People have it easier, like Cleveland. You know,
Speaker 1: the Cleveland Indians is the baseball team, and there's like
Speaker 1: people are an uproar about the Indians being an offensive name,
Speaker 1: but it's I went, I was there. I was playing
Speaker 1: hilarities and a couple of months ago and they were
Speaker 1: protesting outside the UH. It's like fifty people they're protesting
Speaker 1: that the name of the Cleveland Indians is offensive and
Speaker 1: all these signs, but it was all white women. It's
Speaker 1: like Native Americans already even at this protest, trying to
Speaker 1: busy getting the pipeline. People don't fucking care. It's like you, Barbara,
Speaker 1: are just playing pretend like you care because you're just bored.
Speaker 1: Because she needs something to care about. Food shopping. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Just go do go, do anything.
Speaker 1: Just go. You know why why it's a Tuesday afternoon.
Speaker 1: Why are you protesting? Go? Are you? Do you have work?
Speaker 1: The Chinese are not here, The Chinese grandparents are not there.
Speaker 1: They're fucking doing tai chi and the parents, I'm telling
Speaker 1: it's so great. My message to anyone listening to this,
Speaker 1: have your kids go Chinese. Chinese. I'm pushing Chinese as
Speaker 1: a as a race on my daughter. She loves she
Speaker 1: loves him, and I think her little boyfriend's names would
Speaker 1: be like the Rachel do Wait, her boyfriend's names what
Speaker 1: his name? I don't know his Chinese name is. But
Speaker 1: his name is David, and he's a little Chinese boy.
Speaker 1: His name is just David. His name can't be just
Speaker 1: He's not but he's never just David. In China. Parents
Speaker 1: don't speak English, Okay, then he doesn't have They call
Speaker 1: him David. I'm like, there's no way this is the
Speaker 1: real name. But we call him David. And it's great.
Speaker 1: I mean, he just comes in and takes his shoes off,
Speaker 1: sits Indian style on the floor. Any snack you give him,
Speaker 1: oh yes, his name, American style on the floor, any
Speaker 1: snack that's given to him. I like that. He just
Speaker 1: you would say, pretzel style, yea is not even good anymore.
Speaker 1: It's indigenous people. You're you're behind indigenous people style on
Speaker 1: the floor. And then and then yeah, it's just like
Speaker 1: it's just there's a clear difference between her non Chinese
Speaker 1: friends versus Chinese friends. And I love the Chinese. They're great.
Speaker 1: These kids are great. I love it. Just don't let
Speaker 1: her wear like a Geisha costume for APA's appropriation. And
Speaker 1: they don't have birthday parties, which is weird. I don't know,
Speaker 1: like we've never gotten unless I was just not getting invited.
Speaker 1: But I was like, there's all these Chinese kids, how
Speaker 1: come we've never I have family party, family stuff, which
Speaker 1: is good. They keep it my friends family oriented. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my friends Chinese, and she has. Yeah, her her family
Speaker 1: stuff is strong. I love it. Ye family first. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, go Chinese China, Team China. Yeah. Same.
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on the podcasts, for having wait, where
Speaker 1: can we find you and see you and all that stuff? Okay,
Speaker 1: Chris d Comedy dot Com for all my dates. I
Speaker 1: im like San Diego and and there's a lot of
Speaker 1: ship out there in Nashville, England. Um a lot. Christie
Speaker 1: Comedy dot Com, Uh working a lot, so please come
Speaker 1: swipe up and what's your handle on Instagram and Twitter
Speaker 1: at Christie Comedy on everything perfect and everything the board.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. This has been Guys, We Fuck,
Speaker 1: the Anti slut Shimmy podcast. This was a bonus episode.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I was like, I don't know, well, I
Speaker 1: wanted to give more information. I don't know what to
Speaker 1: say at the end of a bonus episode. We'll figure
Speaker 1: it out. Like You're welcome by Guys. We Fucked is
Speaker 1: presented by Luminary Media, Created and hosted by Karin Fisher
Speaker 1: and Christina Hutchinson, Edited by Mike Coscarelli, Associate producer Emily Rodgers,
Speaker 1: pr intern Molly Becker back song when we first surely
Speaker 1: have it, This nag is not so ba that much
Speaker 1: balls and something more that spread something why you call it?
Speaker 1: Where SI did not to let us die? When never
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Speaker 1: This is a pun Cleveano. Y'll never reno better people
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Speaker 1: find file and try to ca