Speaker 1: The right number. It's the loser line. Just call me
Speaker 1: back if you haven't heard the loser line before. It
Speaker 1: works like this. Let's say somebody approaches you while you're
Speaker 1: out at the club and uses this charming pickup line. Um, why,
Speaker 1: pretty lady, I was just wondering like reasons because if
Speaker 1: you do, how about a date going out with me?
Speaker 1: But also has another meaning because raisins and dates are
Speaker 1: from the same dried fruit family. Um, if you didn't know,
Speaker 1: they really park a nutritious punch. So anyway, I like
Speaker 1: to eat dates, So if you like to go out whatever, anyway,
Speaker 1: whatever you do, Um, don't fall asleep while he's talking.
Speaker 1: That's rude. Instead, tell him that he's the smartest person
Speaker 1: you've ever met. And that's when you give him the
Speaker 1: number to the loser line. So hopefully he calls and
Speaker 1: leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play for you
Speaker 1: on the air. Voicemails like this one. Next message, Brandy, Hey,
Speaker 1: it's that you're uber driver from the weekend. I brought
Speaker 1: you and your friends home from Saturday night. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you remember you actually shot me down hard,
Speaker 1: but your friend get me your number and that I
Speaker 1: should ask you out. You know, don't let this camera
Speaker 1: fool you, because I'm doing pretty well. I actually just try.
Speaker 1: I try and uber as like a social experiment. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I'm I'm working on psychological dissertation
Speaker 1: on the migration of inebriated women. Actually, I found it
Speaker 1: eight out of ten tend to find uber drivers attractive
Speaker 1: and want to hook up with them, So don't be
Speaker 1: in the minority. Next, let's up to that friend for
Speaker 1: giving out the loser line phone over him. Also, he
Speaker 1: kind of sounds funny. Yeah, that was pretty funny. I agree,
Speaker 1: And he doesn't like every stage uber driver I've ever
Speaker 1: met who was like, no, this isn't my real job. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just the money as a lawyer. They always love
Speaker 1: to tell you that. Yeah yeah, they always have some business.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I just do this. I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: doing anything with my time anyway, why not, you know,
Speaker 1: I just fired up and then I work whenever I want.
Speaker 1: I'm a people person, and two in the morning, it's
Speaker 1: just time for me to go out. Here's another message.
Speaker 1: Next message, This little piggie went to my house. This
Speaker 1: little piggie stayed at home. This little piggie had filet.
Speaker 1: This little piggie had the best foot massage of her life.
Speaker 1: I want to treat you to the best foot rub
Speaker 1: you've ever received. I'll bring the lotion, you bring them
Speaker 1: little piggies. Next, why is it? I mean, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of weird fetishes out there, but foot fetish people
Speaker 1: are to me the gross. Yeah, weird. So if there's
Speaker 1: a lot of um, if you're calling somebody for a date,
Speaker 1: don't don't ask him to bring over lotion. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: sounds really bad. Include any sort of children's nursery rhymes
Speaker 1: in the asque. Remember you can get the loser line
Speaker 1: phone umber. All you have to do is text the
Speaker 1: word loser l O s e er to seven eight
Speaker 1: five nine two. Next message, Hey, other, So when I
Speaker 1: slipped you my room key a couple of hours ago,
Speaker 1: that was a mistake. Um, I'm in a bad place
Speaker 1: right now and I probably just shouldn't be giving my
Speaker 1: room key out to pet. Uh Like I was saying, Um,
Speaker 1: I just gotta have a relationship. I'm like, I'm really
Speaker 1: vulnerable right now and giving um Sorry what was I
Speaker 1: just just don't come? Uh? Sorry? Next message, how many
Speaker 1: room keys would you like sir fifty ye. Whoever shows
Speaker 1: up first wins. Yeah, here's another message. Next message, Hi, Luke,
Speaker 1: this is what we met the other night at ange.
Speaker 1: I was very interested in getting to know you a
Speaker 1: little better because I thought that you were super hot
Speaker 1: and you've got some really great dance moves. And I
Speaker 1: know that you had mentioned that you were thinking about
Speaker 1: selling your condo in a very near future. I would
Speaker 1: love to be able to handle that for you. And
Speaker 1: let me tell you that nothing spells fold like se x.
Speaker 1: So call me back as soon as you get this message,
Speaker 1: and remember I a wed girl. I can sell your condo.
Speaker 1: Next message, I don't get it either. I'm so confused.
Speaker 1: Two motives are just one or I'm not sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: really wants to sell that condo. Her bus bench ads
Speaker 1: must be interesting. Yeah yeah, sold means sex? Okay, not really.
Speaker 1: Next message, This is we met at a co That
Speaker 1: was I think we had a little too much to drink.
Speaker 1: Um uh yeah, I definitely remember we were doing shots
Speaker 1: and there was a lot going on. Um, now that
Speaker 1: I'm starting to think about it, you were, um, we
Speaker 1: were both kind of going crazy there. Uh any ways,
Speaker 1: Um I did something kind of crazy. Um, after you
Speaker 1: gave me your number, you told me that the only
Speaker 1: way you would go out with me is if I
Speaker 1: if I got a tattoo of your name on my body.
Speaker 1: And uh guess what, baby, Uh I did it because
Speaker 1: I do. We like you so homey and I'll tell
Speaker 1: you where it is. My guys, I know he was
Speaker 1: happy with I almost started to feel sorry for him
Speaker 1: that a woman would say that to him. But that
Speaker 1: is your own damn fault. Like he is an idiot.
Speaker 1: You should have got just a number to the Loser
Speaker 1: line tattooed on him and then you could really remember it.
Speaker 1: Remember you can get that number. Just text the word
Speaker 1: loser l O s e er to seven eight five
Speaker 1: nine two and listen to the Loser Line regularly every Monday.
Speaker 1: At this time, your phone taps coming up right after this,
Speaker 1: it's broking Jewel the morning