Speaker 1: It is the radio segment that likes to call itself
Speaker 1: sassy but classy. Laser Stories the segment where we read
Speaker 1: weird news stories from around the globe, just like every
Speaker 1: other radio show does, except we have a laser and
Speaker 1: those other idiots don't. This first laser story is out
Speaker 1: of Israel. The other day, a forty seven year old
Speaker 1: guy named Josef Nuam decided he wasn't happy at his
Speaker 1: job anymore. He'd been working in the same place for
Speaker 1: almost twenty years and needed a change of pace. So
Speaker 1: instead of coming into work that day, he chose to
Speaker 1: rob a bank Hey nobody again to empty and apparently
Speaker 1: the first robbery went so well that he decided to
Speaker 1: rob a second one too. Wow. But after that one,
Speaker 1: the cops were onto him because he had a very
Speaker 1: special way that he was robbing these places and both robberies,
Speaker 1: Joseph was armed with an avocado. Oh no, he painted
Speaker 1: it black and claimed it was a grenae, and it
Speaker 1: worked twice. He got about forty five hundred dollars in
Speaker 1: the first robbery and another thirty three hundred in the
Speaker 1: second one. Cops could an I d him from the
Speaker 1: surveillance footage because he wore hats, glasses, and an eyepatch
Speaker 1: to hide his face, but they eventually tracked him down
Speaker 1: by comparing the cell phone activity at each bank. His
Speaker 1: phone was the only phone active in both places while
Speaker 1: the banks were being robbed. Yeah, turned that off. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So now Yosef's in custody and it's not clear how
Speaker 1: much time he's looking at for the avocado hold ups,
Speaker 1: but we'll keep you posted. Should have in a pineapple
Speaker 1: and been like, this is just a giant grenade. Yeah.
Speaker 1: This next Lester story is out of Leeds, England. A
Speaker 1: seventy one year old guy named Leonard Durkin died a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago from heart failure, and before he died,
Speaker 1: he told his family that he had one wish to
Speaker 1: be buried with a double bacon cheeseburger from Burger King.
Speaker 1: Did he miss the point about the heart failure. His
Speaker 1: family decided to honor that wish, and on the way
Speaker 1: to his funeral, the kids had the entire funeral procession
Speaker 1: go through a Burger King drive through, and his fifty
Speaker 1: year old son Peter, ordered the burger and put it
Speaker 1: on top of his dad's coffin. That's actually kind of amazing.
Speaker 1: A whole procession. Then they went to a crematorium held
Speaker 1: the funeral and Leonard was cremated with the burger the
Speaker 1: first cremation that smelled delicious. Smells so good in here?
Speaker 1: What's going on? No way to hold the pickles, he
Speaker 1: hated pickles. Nobody made any flame broiled jokes, but it
Speaker 1: was all just happy tears from friends and family. The
Speaker 1: funeral director who handled the ceremony thought it was one
Speaker 1: of the strangest, most touching things he's ever seen. But
Speaker 1: he did have to remind everybody to please use napkins
Speaker 1: because the attendees also brought French fries into the sanctuary
Speaker 1: so that they could say their goodbyes while eating some food.
Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Mannheim, Pennsylvania. There
Speaker 1: was a local police auction that happened over the weekend
Speaker 1: and apparently there were some good deals to be had.
Speaker 1: At one point, a group of people were inspecting a
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen Dodge Challenger that was up for auction, and
Speaker 1: when they opened the trunk, they found a man inside. Yep,
Speaker 1: how long has he been here? Was he alive? Was
Speaker 1: he dead? Status here? He wasn't doing well? So he's
Speaker 1: rushed to the hospital and now he's recovering and the
Speaker 1: cops have identified him as a wanted felon. Twenty five
Speaker 1: year old guy named Leon parks from the Bronx in
Speaker 1: New York and he had an outstanding warrant for parole
Speaker 1: violations and weapons charges. But the big question is how
Speaker 1: did he wind up in that trunk? Yeah, the cops
Speaker 1: aren't sure, and Leon isn't talking. One person suggested that
Speaker 1: Leon did it himself. One person online said that because quote,
Speaker 1: I think a bunch of bad guys were probably chasing
Speaker 1: him through the auction, so he hidden a random trunk
Speaker 1: on purpose, just to get caught by police so he
Speaker 1: wouldn't be killed. I have a feeling that's a lot
Speaker 1: more stupid the reason why he was in the trunk.
Speaker 1: But there's no video that supports that theory, and police
Speaker 1: suspect the person who made that comment is either under
Speaker 1: the age of twelve or they've watched too many crimes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's next laser stories out of Trendsetter Headquarters. Did you
Speaker 1: know the next big trend in clothing could be stuff
Speaker 1: that you almost never have to wash? Double rainfall? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Okay, I am Listening to this trend, some
Speaker 1: companies have started using new fibers and treatments to make
Speaker 1: clothes that won't stink even after you wear them for
Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, it's a real thing, and we've had
Speaker 1: a clip from one of their advertisements. Our clothes never
Speaker 1: smell and they stay clean and fresh even if you
Speaker 1: wear them every single day. In fact, I've been wearing
Speaker 1: this shirt here for forty six days in a row.
Speaker 1: Same with the socks and underwear. Now, I know what
Speaker 1: you're thinking, but these clothes are just as clean and
Speaker 1: fresh as the first day I put them on. That's right,
Speaker 1: over a month of putting these clothes through everything from
Speaker 1: wearing them day live to the office, out to dinner,
Speaker 1: warned to bed, even the gym. No sounds disgusting to Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I was with him with the T shirt
Speaker 1: with the socks and underwear push and yeah the socks.
Speaker 1: How does this say clean? Experts say that these no
Speaker 1: washed clothes aren't just a big wind for those of
Speaker 1: us who are doing laundry, they're a big wind for
Speaker 1: the environment. Washing machines are responsible for seventeen percent of
Speaker 1: the water that we use in our homes, and a
Speaker 1: quarter of the carbon footprint of every piece of clothing
Speaker 1: comes from cleaning it. In fact, one brand that makes
Speaker 1: a seaweed fiber T shirt says you'll save almost eight
Speaker 1: hundred gallons of water by not having to wash it
Speaker 1: as often as you'd wash a regular T shirt. But
Speaker 1: think of the fashion like you you were the same
Speaker 1: thing every day for an hour and no, thank you?
Speaker 1: I mean, who wants to live in a world where
Speaker 1: you can't switch up your shirt? Yeah? Or think of
Speaker 1: it the other way, like, yeah, you wore that forty
Speaker 1: six days in a row. Awesome? No? Yeah? No? Next
Speaker 1: lesa stories out of the wide world of ink. Every
Speaker 1: now and then a viral trend comes along that poses
Speaker 1: a major health threat. Remember when people are eating tide pods.
Speaker 1: Well this might be just as bad because the latest
Speaker 1: trend is called sunburn tattoos. To get a sunburned tattoo,
Speaker 1: people put stencils on their skin and then head out
Speaker 1: and lay in the sun without any sunscreen, and when
Speaker 1: you remove the stencil, you have a sunburned shape on
Speaker 1: your skin. It's like a temporary tattoo. Social media users
Speaker 1: are feeling the burn. You didn't be a designs of
Speaker 1: Spiders the Batman logo and the Playboy bunny. One Instagram
Speaker 1: user said that she got a DreamCatcher shaped sunburned tattooed
Speaker 1: by applying a stencil to her skin and then going
Speaker 1: into the sun and removing the stencil afterwards. Used to
Speaker 1: give you all sorts of stickers that you could put on,
Speaker 1: And when one of your friends falls asleep on the beach,
Speaker 1: you usually draw something on their back and sunscreen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: same thing. So what are experts saying about sunburn tattoos. Well,
Speaker 1: most are saying it's not a good idea, and some
Speaker 1: are even saying it's really careless. One dermatologists from Princeton
Speaker 1: was quoted as saying, did everybody forget that UVA and
Speaker 1: UVB rays can cause harmful effects on the skin. It's
Speaker 1: one of the dumbest ideas anyone has ever come up with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the company's selling the sense. They'll say you should put
Speaker 1: on sunscreen before you put on the tattoos. But will
Speaker 1: people actually do that? Probably not. The goal is to
Speaker 1: get sunburned. Yeah. This next laser story is out of
Speaker 1: cuttle Land. According to a new survey, one out of
Speaker 1: three adults say that they still sleep with a comfort
Speaker 1: object from their childhood. I know that includes things like
Speaker 1: stuffed animals, a blanket, or a special pillow. The survey
Speaker 1: also found that forty one percent of people have a
Speaker 1: nighttime ritual, including things like listening to music, watching a
Speaker 1: specific movie or a TV show, reading a book, or
Speaker 1: eating a snack tasty every night. It's got to be
Speaker 1: the office. And it turns out. The survey found that
Speaker 1: one out of four people have a strange trick that
Speaker 1: they used to fall asleep, including things like thinking about unicorns,
Speaker 1: reading a history book, or putting their legs up on
Speaker 1: the wall. I don't anything great until you fall asleep,
Speaker 1: and then your feet just are numb in the morning.
Speaker 1: So what have we learned from all of this? Apparently,
Speaker 1: if you sleep with your teddy bear and you're afraid,
Speaker 1: it's okay, it's okay. It's not actually a sign that
Speaker 1: you're stuck in a state of childhood limbo. It just
Speaker 1: means that you're normal and you want to sleep with
Speaker 1: your stuffy We've all, thank you very much. This guy
Speaker 1: only wants to sleep with his shoe. Yeah, actually he's
Speaker 1: awaking with this shoe. That's the sound of a turtle
Speaker 1: humping a shoe and that means the Laser Stories has
Speaker 1: come to an end for the day. We'll do it
Speaker 1: again at the same time on Monday,