Speaker 1: On the Bedel Cast, the questions asked if movies have
Speaker 1: women in um, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
Speaker 1: or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best
Speaker 1: start changing it with the Beckdel Cast. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Bechdel Cast. I'm your host, Caitlin Torante. Your other host,
Speaker 1: Jamie Latus, and here we are. We are going to
Speaker 1: talk about movies. That's what we do. That's what this
Speaker 1: podcast is all about. Ye And why why must we
Speaker 1: do this, Jamie? Impossible to say, Just kidding, We have
Speaker 1: a great reason. It's because women are almost always underrepresented
Speaker 1: or misrepresented in film. So that's why we started the podcast.
Speaker 1: And we use the Bechdel Test as sort of a
Speaker 1: guideline for how how some of our favorite movies are doing.
Speaker 1: What is the Bechdel Well, we're doing really well, so
Speaker 1: far smoother than ever. The Bechtel test is a test
Speaker 1: where you apply it to a thing like a movie.
Speaker 1: What what's a movie? Wait? A second movie passes the
Speaker 1: Bechtel test. If there are we've explained this, our listeners know. Basically,
Speaker 1: two women speak to each other in the story about
Speaker 1: something other than a man. Right, So that's what that is?
Speaker 1: I saw? Oh no, do we do all the intra
Speaker 1: stuff pretty much? We can. We can do our thing
Speaker 1: where um, I don't like to bring this up, but
Speaker 1: some people want to know that I do have a
Speaker 1: master's degree in screenwriting. Sorry, because they like, what what is?
Speaker 1: What are your credentials? Girls? What do you want you?
Speaker 1: This part is really evolved where yeah, we between the
Speaker 1: two of us, we have three degrees and film. You
Speaker 1: have two bachelors. And I just skipped straight onto The
Speaker 1: Masters The Master, which would be a really interesting episode
Speaker 1: of this. Oh you mean to discuss the movie The Master.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I did a I wrote something once for
Speaker 1: the Bota Globe a couple of years ago where I
Speaker 1: watched The Master and The Master of Disguise and I
Speaker 1: tried to decide which one was more valuable. What did
Speaker 1: you conclude Master Disguise? Yeah, obviously of course I hated
Speaker 1: The Master. Anyway, it was an hour too long. We
Speaker 1: have a guest, as we often do, to talk about
Speaker 1: a specific movie, and let's let's introduce our guests. It
Speaker 1: is our friend and a very funny comedian, Mike Kaplan. Hey,
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. You're welcome, Yes, you are
Speaker 1: allowed to speak. Now. I heard my name, so I
Speaker 1: thought it was time. That's your cue. I didn't know,
Speaker 1: we didn't really, I didn't know for sure. I made
Speaker 1: a choice. We have to make sure pectel cast passes
Speaker 1: the Bechtel test. You talk to each other first and
Speaker 1: about something besides a man or you or we did it?
Speaker 1: Can I ask? Can? I ask a quick question? Because
Speaker 1: I've heard their versions, like alterations or variety of the
Speaker 1: Bechdel test where some some people require that the women
Speaker 1: both have names. There is that caveat which I don't
Speaker 1: know know if we've discussed, but yeah, i've heard happy
Speaker 1: to be a man bringing it up. Also, I don't
Speaker 1: really identify a man. Please, man's plains to us, Well,
Speaker 1: the thing is about me. I don't really have a gender.
Speaker 1: I just seem to be a man, so people assume
Speaker 1: I'm a man, and I'm like whatever, thank you, I'm privileged.
Speaker 1: Do have another question? Also? This one is going to
Speaker 1: sound sincere, but it's really mostly just so I can
Speaker 1: make a joke. But you say that sometimes women are misrepresented,
Speaker 1: and it's fun to think of miss represented, miss what
Speaker 1: you might call a woman. Sometimes? Are you represented in
Speaker 1: this movie? I'm misrepresented. I'm Mr representative. Hey, at least
Speaker 1: she had a name. She has misrepresented misrepresented here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. That isn't something we've discussed yet, but I
Speaker 1: have heard that caveat that both characters have to have
Speaker 1: been named in whatever narrative piece it is. I think
Speaker 1: I don't know if we've covered a movie yet where
Speaker 1: that has come into play. Maybe Beauty and the Beast.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the chest of Drawer's head a name.
Speaker 1: I don't think she does either, but Chester Chester, I
Speaker 1: believe that was her name in life. It was, but
Speaker 1: we don't. We discussed, well, we concluded that that movie
Speaker 1: does not pass the Bechtel test anyway because they only
Speaker 1: talk about although the Beast is technique he's a man,
Speaker 1: he's not a man, he's a male creatures along podcast,
Speaker 1: just quick question. I mean that is I think the answer.
Speaker 1: I think I will understand the answer as I'm saying it.
Speaker 1: But like say, you watch the animated Robin Hood where
Speaker 1: none of the characters are humans, but there are still
Speaker 1: you know, male female relationships. Yeah, we um since they
Speaker 1: are humanized anthropomorph Yeah that's the way. Thanks for being
Speaker 1: here with your words or I have a master's degree
Speaker 1: in linguistics words masters in the house, I call it
Speaker 1: a mistress's degree, though you may thank you anyway. So
Speaker 1: why don't you talk to us about the movie that
Speaker 1: you that we all watch. We're gonna be discussing. I
Speaker 1: chose the movie The Princess Bride. That movie I chose.
Speaker 1: Do you want me to tell you why I chose it? Uh?
Speaker 1: It's a movie that when people ask you often people
Speaker 1: will say what's your favorite movie? And I have some
Speaker 1: new stuff I'm talking about on stage about the idea
Speaker 1: that favorites don't even like as an adult. There's so
Speaker 1: many things, Like when you're a child, it makes sense
Speaker 1: to be like, I've seen three and so one of
Speaker 1: them is favorite. But like you know, as an adult,
Speaker 1: you can like I don't like to have the things
Speaker 1: that I love compete against each other. And sometimes when
Speaker 1: you tell somebody this is my favorite movie, they're like,
Speaker 1: but what about this one? And this one? And and like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel bad just thinking about all
Speaker 1: the wonderful movies that I like. Like, but this is
Speaker 1: the one. If I ever if people just tell me
Speaker 1: what your favorite movie, I would be like, fine, the Princess,
Speaker 1: but it was definitely it was at a time my
Speaker 1: favorite movie, and so I remember it as sort of
Speaker 1: my first favorite movie. How old were you when you
Speaker 1: first saw it? I think it came out in around
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I was wrong. I was in probably four. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in fourth ish grade. I was like nine,
Speaker 1: around nine years old, and we watched it in school,
Speaker 1: and I hadn't heard of it, like some of the kids, like,
Speaker 1: we're watching it on a video obviously because it was
Speaker 1: in school. We didn't have a movie theater at school,
Speaker 1: but I didn't know what it was. So some of
Speaker 1: the kids had seen it and they were super excited
Speaker 1: by it. And when it first started, you know, there's
Speaker 1: like just the scenes with like Fred Savage in his
Speaker 1: home in bed, and I'm like one of the princess
Speaker 1: right wondering he does this make any sense at all?
Speaker 1: And everyone's like it's good. And we also watched, like
Speaker 1: at the same time, like in the same time period,
Speaker 1: a movie about a hedgehog, Like it was a myth
Speaker 1: about called Hans My Hedgehog. And so these two movies
Speaker 1: like had for a while equal weight in my mind.
Speaker 1: I'm like the two movies that I saw this year
Speaker 1: are these two and people are like, Hans my headge like,
Speaker 1: but yeah, the Princess Ride. It was so wonderful. And
Speaker 1: then like I went, I bought the book at one
Speaker 1: point and I read the book, which is written by
Speaker 1: the same guy wrote the screenplay, William Goldman. William Man
Speaker 1: trigger sorry, guys, Willamette gold Woman. William Goldman is a
Speaker 1: fascinating dude. He's like, yeah, I have a bunch of
Speaker 1: his books, brag. He's wonderful. Okay. And Jamie's comment, No,
Speaker 1: that was great, thank you for contributions. I have a drink.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah. So it was just a movie that
Speaker 1: I've loved for a long time. And also I have
Speaker 1: seen it so many times, but I hadn't thought about
Speaker 1: it in the context of, like, I wonder how many
Speaker 1: female characters are there? I mean, I can't remember all that, Like,
Speaker 1: there aren't that many. Even a movie that has both
Speaker 1: the words of the title are female thing, princess bride,
Speaker 1: which I tend to not like any movie that has
Speaker 1: any sort of wedding or bride or princess not my
Speaker 1: kind of movie. But um, but this title is not,
Speaker 1: you know, indicative of what the movie is like an ear.
Speaker 1: I wonder why it was called that in the first place,
Speaker 1: because it's not really like a movie that seems directed
Speaker 1: at girls. It work, per se, it did work. I mean,
Speaker 1: you guys are girls, and you you were a young person.
Speaker 1: You were not alive when this movie came out. I
Speaker 1: was not just one year old. So you saw it
Speaker 1: when you were one, and you saw it many years recently.
Speaker 1: Just now, and how did you like it? I didn't
Speaker 1: really like it. Okay, well let's talk to Caitlin. What
Speaker 1: didn't you like? Well? I mean, I just because I
Speaker 1: have no sentimental attachment to it. I didn't have any
Speaker 1: problems just sort of seeing the problems with the movie
Speaker 1: jump out. Harsh realities are problems. Well the problem I mean,
Speaker 1: there's just scenes that Princess Better comes in where she
Speaker 1: doesn't she's there, but she doesn't seek that. We'll talk
Speaker 1: all about it, right like that, that's infuriating. The other
Speaker 1: female characters that I can remember at the top of
Speaker 1: my head were like poor Wenches who would scream about yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh. And also I just like I didn't like
Speaker 1: Wesley very much. I didn't understand, like I I couldn't
Speaker 1: stand the beginning where they were like they see each
Speaker 1: other once a day and he says one sentence and
Speaker 1: now they're in love forever and they are bonded, and
Speaker 1: they didn't there weren't so many people back then. They
Speaker 1: were you had to fall in love with your farm
Speaker 1: boy because I was the only other thing you could
Speaker 1: funk was a horse. But then it's five years later
Speaker 1: and suddenly he has a personality. I'm like, where did
Speaker 1: that come from? All of a sudden, he's like, he's
Speaker 1: like a sassy boy and he's just like, I have
Speaker 1: a lot of one liners taught him how to be
Speaker 1: just like you were a fucking drag at the beginning,
Speaker 1: and now you're a drag in a different kind of
Speaker 1: smuggy kind of way. You can't have it both ways.
Speaker 1: You can only just like him at one of the boys,
Speaker 1: like him as a farm boy, or like him as
Speaker 1: nothing is a farm boy. He's just like I'm a
Speaker 1: true I am just. I am also prejudiced against adult
Speaker 1: blonde males. I don't know why, but I find them creepy.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's something you should I don't like
Speaker 1: any area in looking people, but um of any age,
Speaker 1: I do like that she kind of like puts him
Speaker 1: in his place. Hey, farm boy, do this fucking thing
Speaker 1: for me? And then there are so she's poor too,
Speaker 1: like they're weird. It doesn't make any sense, um that
Speaker 1: like a poor like farm family has another poor servant.
Speaker 1: I'd write, I call it a farmily. There are so
Speaker 1: few moments in this movie where she displays any sort
Speaker 1: of agency that like her. Even saying farm boy, do
Speaker 1: this is like wow, like you go moment for her. Yes.
Speaker 1: So I first saw the movie when I was in
Speaker 1: high school, probably like a sophomore junior, So I was
Speaker 1: like sixteen or so venteen or so, did you like?
Speaker 1: I did like it at the time, and I still do.
Speaker 1: But upon the two rewatches I did because I'm a
Speaker 1: crazy person and to prepare for every podcast, I rewatched
Speaker 1: the movie twice. Yeah, I don't. I don't know master
Speaker 1: life behavior. It's true, I have to. I have to
Speaker 1: watch it once for each degree I have half. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I thought you only had one, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I watched it for for each degree that Jamie has.
Speaker 1: So upon rewatching, I was like, oh, this is pretty problematic,
Speaker 1: as all the movies that we talked about are. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: at the time. I liked it enough to like buy
Speaker 1: it on DVD and I own it on DVD, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what a great little movie. And I
Speaker 1: wrote a paper about it in grad school. I plan
Speaker 1: to read all of it on this podcast. I don't,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, but I should. It's a few sentences that
Speaker 1: I might share. Maybe just you have it. But you're
Speaker 1: something for a class, Yeah, for a genre class? And
Speaker 1: what was the genre? The genre of the Princess Brian
Speaker 1: Well Like? For example, IMDb lists five different genres for it, Uh,
Speaker 1: family adventure, romance, far adventure, romance, and comedy. Was that five?
Speaker 1: Family adventure, romance, comedy? Maybe action? I can't remember. My
Speaker 1: thesis was something along the lines that I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to I'll tell you later than you
Speaker 1: because but it was like the Grandfather, I got an
Speaker 1: a on it. Great inflation anyway, because it wasn't that
Speaker 1: well written. Who you were you were younger, they say, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. I was like twenty seven back in a dummy.
Speaker 1: You could write away better paper today, I will say
Speaker 1: my one part of the line that made me laugh
Speaker 1: was the line, please consider me as an alternative to suicide?
Speaker 1: It's like that hit me like I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: I've been of relationships where maybe that would have been
Speaker 1: a very appropriate thing to say. That's funny. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: some there's a few lines in this movie. Why don't
Speaker 1: we just do a very quick recap of the story
Speaker 1: in case our listeners are unfamiliar. There's a there's a
Speaker 1: farmerly so we meet a Buttercup and she bosses this
Speaker 1: little farm boy Wesley around, and then they decided that
Speaker 1: they're in love with each other. And he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't have any money because i'm your servant, so I
Speaker 1: have to set off to the seas and seek a fortune.
Speaker 1: And she's like, all right, okay, bye, I guess why
Speaker 1: are you doing this? And I'll take care of us.
Speaker 1: I'm a modern woman. Then she discovers that he has uh,
Speaker 1: he was attacked by the dread pirate Roberts and he's dead.
Speaker 1: And then Prince Humperdink what a name body? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it was already Angelbert's name, right, that's must be
Speaker 1: there's an Angelbert humbered Incus. Oh yeah, and singer. I'm
Speaker 1: not familiar with that person. I'm pretty sure it would
Speaker 1: be weird if I was making it up. I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm making it up. And he is a singer
Speaker 1: and he kind of looks like Yannie. Oh oh wait,
Speaker 1: that's not the way. He's a musician. He is a singer. Yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's like a singer that old people love. Yeah, much
Speaker 1: like Yannie. Right. Prince is like, yo, you common or woman,
Speaker 1: marry me, and she's like, mo, I'm not doing anything else.
Speaker 1: And then she gets kidnapped by these three dudes, a
Speaker 1: giant and then a swordsman, and then a little genius
Speaker 1: little man, a little genius, the most important to which
Speaker 1: played by Mandy Pitinken. The swordsman his name is and
Speaker 1: he's got a father who's dead and he's prepared to
Speaker 1: kill it. That's the quote wrap, I'm prepared to kill.
Speaker 1: So she gets kidnapped. They take her to the cliffs
Speaker 1: of Insanity and up the hill and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But then there's a man in a black mask who's
Speaker 1: following them, and he and he has a personality, doesn't
Speaker 1: suddenly not a personality because surprise reveal it's Westley the
Speaker 1: farm Boy, an adult blonde, and then he bests all
Speaker 1: these three dudes and he's like it's me as you wish.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. They go into the fire swamp and
Speaker 1: there's a whole adventure there, and then they come out
Speaker 1: of the fire swamp. And this is where I stopped
Speaker 1: liking this movie. The first half is cool, it's exciting,
Speaker 1: and then it gets dumb. It's okay, But Whence catches
Speaker 1: up to them, yeah, and and she's like, oh, surrender,
Speaker 1: we surrender, take him away. And so she makes a
Speaker 1: lot of decisions are really stupid and that I but
Speaker 1: she is allowed to. She can make her own decisions.
Speaker 1: She doesn't accept what Wesley is doing. Although, but I
Speaker 1: just don't woman the right to make dumb decisions. That's
Speaker 1: what she wants to do. I'm trying to separate. Don't
Speaker 1: let a man tell you how to be smart. That's true.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm gonna be a big dumb idiot. God
Speaker 1: damn it. She is motivated by She says like, spare
Speaker 1: his life and I'll go with you and be your wife,
Speaker 1: which reminded me of the Being and the Beast thing
Speaker 1: with Belle and her dad. Yeah, there we go. Huh.
Speaker 1: I still don't know. I mean I don't I obviously
Speaker 1: don't think that was the best decision, but that that
Speaker 1: was like one of her I made like a note
Speaker 1: of that. I was like, like, one hour into the movie,
Speaker 1: she makes a decision that changes the plot line. That
Speaker 1: is true. That is pretty much the single moment where
Speaker 1: in the narrative that that happened. They could have just
Speaker 1: lived happily ever after from that point, the same way
Speaker 1: that they eventually did at the end where they're running
Speaker 1: away from the same people. Right, yeah, yeah, it just
Speaker 1: seems like, oh, there's a moment where the movie could
Speaker 1: have vented. It's just what I don't like about it
Speaker 1: is the decision she makes. I get like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just she's so naive to think it bothers me
Speaker 1: how naive she is basically, but you know that that
Speaker 1: it maybe it's just her. She overcomes out as a
Speaker 1: character flaw that she grows to. She's like, oh wait,
Speaker 1: I was dumb all this time. I stilly girl. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that is what changes from then to the end. She's
Speaker 1: not dumb anymore. I still think she's dumb. I don't
Speaker 1: like hearing all this woman and woman hate. I know
Speaker 1: we shouldn't really be That's true. Everyone in this movie
Speaker 1: is a dumbass, I think, except for Mandy Pattenkin and
Speaker 1: Under the Giant, yeah probably. So then something's happened. I
Speaker 1: don't even remember. Wesley is taken away. They've lied torture,
Speaker 1: steam punky machine that sucks the life out of you
Speaker 1: one year at a time. Right, yeah, right, And then
Speaker 1: Anigo and Fasick the Giant are reunited and they're like,
Speaker 1: we gotta go find this guy because he's going to
Speaker 1: help me kill this man who killed my father. They
Speaker 1: do that, and they storm the castle and they're told
Speaker 1: to have Billy wife another woman, a strong woman. I'm
Speaker 1: not a witch wife. She's very memorable for she was
Speaker 1: very memorable. Must she might have a name as well.
Speaker 1: She may he may name her. They may have yelled,
Speaker 1: he may have yelled it at her. Yeah. People are
Speaker 1: listening at home are like, it's we can't remember I
Speaker 1: remember Max a miracle worker's name anyway, So yeah, he
Speaker 1: gets survived. There's a miracle. He comes back to life.
Speaker 1: They stormed the castle and then Prince somber Dick is like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to sit down and let you tie me up,
Speaker 1: and then they jump out of a window and that's
Speaker 1: pretty much how it is, and then many protecon does
Speaker 1: get to kill the six fingered guys so and then
Speaker 1: presumably becomes dread Pirate Roberts himself. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's not spoil. Oh yeah, they definitely. He says to him,
Speaker 1: I think you'd make a great dread pirate Roberts. We
Speaker 1: can presume he's like, oh, perhaps, Yeah, it's very important
Speaker 1: that there be a pirate who everyone thinks kills people
Speaker 1: and probably sometimes does. Right, It's like, well, maybe we
Speaker 1: could just end it somewhere, how about the dead pirate
Speaker 1: Roberts fell about it. You're welcome. So that's the story.
Speaker 1: We've already sort of revealed some of our thoughts and
Speaker 1: feeling we all love about Forever. So let's just jump
Speaker 1: into As we already alluded to the fact that Buttercup
Speaker 1: she's the title character. She is not the protagonist, though
Speaker 1: I would not say because she there are large chunks
Speaker 1: of time where she's not even on screen. All the time.
Speaker 1: When she is on screen, she's not doing anything or talking.
Speaker 1: That scene between Wesley and the baby genius who drinks
Speaker 1: the wine and dies, I w oh, yeah, you see,
Speaker 1: I I don't have any But she's in that scene.
Speaker 1: And that scene is like seven or eight minutes long,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't move, don't say anything. She's not really
Speaker 1: restrained besides, like her hands are bound in her she's blindfolded.
Speaker 1: She thinks he could have a knife to her throat.
Speaker 1: She's scared. She doesn't look anything though, She's just a
Speaker 1: blank slate of like, let me listen to how this
Speaker 1: plays out. Well, eventually she becomes the very powerful wife
Speaker 1: of the President of the United States of America. Card
Speaker 1: I think we were doing I thought we were doing
Speaker 1: a scandal. That's great too, Yeah, is she in that?
Speaker 1: But also she's sort of like the title character of
Speaker 1: the Raiders of Lost Art. She's like the Lost arc
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't appear that much in it, but it's
Speaker 1: like kind of what it's all about. Sure, she's the
Speaker 1: vehicle that Wesley is like, Okay, I gotta save this
Speaker 1: this lady, this play, this object. And that is what
Speaker 1: continues to happen. I wrote down all the times where
Speaker 1: someone has to save her, because it's several. The first
Speaker 1: time is when she okay, she does make another choice
Speaker 1: that doesn't really influence the direction of the story takes,
Speaker 1: but at least she does something, and it happens kind
Speaker 1: of early on whenever she's been captured by the three
Speaker 1: dudes and they have run the ship and they see
Speaker 1: that someone's following them, so she jumps into the eel
Speaker 1: infested waters. So she does that, but then she needs
Speaker 1: to be saved pretty much immediately because a neil is
Speaker 1: coming for her, so the giant pulls her out. That's
Speaker 1: the first time. The second time is when they're in
Speaker 1: the fire swamp and Wesley has to save her like
Speaker 1: three different times from the bursts of flame that whole
Speaker 1: fires sequence. I was just like at one point he's
Speaker 1: like just carrying her through it. She's like, I can't walk.
Speaker 1: When that rat dog attacks him, she just watches. She's
Speaker 1: just like Wesley, I was like, what are you doing.
Speaker 1: You've got hands, he said he had under control. No,
Speaker 1: it's infuriating to watch. They're like the worst couple ever.
Speaker 1: I don't like either of them. Have you ever met
Speaker 1: any couples? That's true, that's true. There are a few good.
Speaker 1: When the road in some unusual size come and attack,
Speaker 1: she just she stands there and watches for a long time.
Speaker 1: She does pick up like a branch and sort of
Speaker 1: hits it in the face a little bit, but like
Speaker 1: almost immediately falls over and then doesn't do anything. She
Speaker 1: gets back up and does land a blow to the
Speaker 1: face of the r O U S, but then just
Speaker 1: continues to stand there and not do anything untill find he'll.
Speaker 1: Finally Wesley like pushes it into the burst of flame
Speaker 1: and then stabs it several times with the sword. And
Speaker 1: just before that, there's that moment where I forget what
Speaker 1: he's saying to her, but it's it's another one of
Speaker 1: his like, well do you think that it's just never
Speaker 1: been done before, because and now we're going I don't know,
Speaker 1: like one of his weird one liners. And then she says,
Speaker 1: hmm okay, and then she falls into a hole. Immediately
Speaker 1: I was like, Jesus, She's like, we'll never survive. He's like, ridiculous,
Speaker 1: You're only saying that because no one ever has, and
Speaker 1: he's like okay, and then she falls into all It's like, Jesus,
Speaker 1: that's it. She couldn't tell it was not right, but
Speaker 1: she could have been formulating a response instead of like
Speaker 1: checks out. She deserved to fall into that quick Sandys.
Speaker 1: That is one of the other times that she needs
Speaker 1: to be saved by a man. Okay, Before they go
Speaker 1: into the fire swamp, though, we find out that Wesley
Speaker 1: is kind of a dick. Well, he became a pirate,
Speaker 1: that's true, he didn't. You don't mean to be shooting
Speaker 1: on your favorite movie, my favorite movie anymore. I'm happy
Speaker 1: for you guys to say what you want. It's a
Speaker 1: fun show. It's not me. I didn't make the movie.
Speaker 1: I did. It's from over thirty years ago, or almost
Speaker 1: thirty years ago. A great reveal if you're like there
Speaker 1: were there's a bunch of lines he has about women
Speaker 1: that she just takes lying down and I was like,
Speaker 1: that is a crotch kicking offense. Oh right, not at
Speaker 1: the time. This is a long time ago. I mean
Speaker 1: the players, but I feel like the men in the
Speaker 1: movie are given like more contemporary I don't know, they
Speaker 1: felt like they had like values of the eighties and
Speaker 1: she was stuck into a very artick. Just to be clear,
Speaker 1: I'm joking on your side. I don't know's we're bad.
Speaker 1: We don't know anything about comedy problem. Just kidding now
Speaker 1: we're joking. Oh god, I gotten a spiral just doing
Speaker 1: it for the listeners. I know you guys understand. I
Speaker 1: assume your listeners don't know anything about comedy, as we're
Speaker 1: in a feedback loop right now. God, it's like two
Speaker 1: rors facing each other. Um. Anyway, at one point he
Speaker 1: raises his arm to hit her. Do you remember this?
Speaker 1: And then he says that was a warning, highness. The
Speaker 1: next time, my hand flies on its own. For where
Speaker 1: I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had that written down to It's just like I
Speaker 1: think this is when he's still masked a K pretending
Speaker 1: to be a dread private. Why does he do that
Speaker 1: so long? Why does he like mask off? Hey, Buttercup,
Speaker 1: it's me. Remember I'm going to be an asshole to you.
Speaker 1: And then once we tumble down the hill with hilarious
Speaker 1: a d r H, then this is like that is
Speaker 1: how you would sound r um. It's audio recorded after
Speaker 1: like they bring them in and they're just like, just
Speaker 1: make a bunch of oofs and then he's like I
Speaker 1: love you, and you're like when really all now? Um?
Speaker 1: I mean, isn't the explanation that they would give, or
Speaker 1: that they did give for why he stayed mass so
Speaker 1: long is that he was mad that she immediately married
Speaker 1: another dude, Well, I mean, she is terrible. That doesn't
Speaker 1: I would be upset too. But also he let her
Speaker 1: believe he was dead for a long time, and I
Speaker 1: don't understand exactly why that was. Right. Yeah, he's mad
Speaker 1: because she's gone off and gotten engaged to someone else,
Speaker 1: but he was also gone for five years' monogamy guys
Speaker 1: themselves everything. Yeah, it would be very unreasonable of him
Speaker 1: to be like, you think I'm dead, but stay single forever,
Speaker 1: just right? And then those like those exchanges they have,
Speaker 1: and I know that are supposed to beautiful, but I
Speaker 1: was just like, man, like, death cannot stop true love.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, she's not allowed to move on
Speaker 1: with her life. And then she says, I will never
Speaker 1: doubt again, and I'm like, no, doubt do sometimes discussion
Speaker 1: to the movie Doubt right now? Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite movies. Yeah, that's no one's favorite movie.
Speaker 1: But my brother and I used to do this double feature.
Speaker 1: We still do it. Sometimes we'll watch There Will Be
Speaker 1: Blood and Doubt back to back. No reason is there
Speaker 1: a movie called Fire, because then you could watch Doubt
Speaker 1: and Fire and then missus doubt Fire. Didn't think there
Speaker 1: you go that's a closer. All right, good night everyone
Speaker 1: in doubt Glenn Close or Meryl Street, I always get
Speaker 1: them confused Closes Wonder they're both great. Okay, So he
Speaker 1: Weslie is a dick. He threatens to hit her, he
Speaker 1: does all kinds of ship oh, and then in the swamp.
Speaker 1: But afterward after he's like, it's me Wesley. They're in
Speaker 1: the fire swamp and he's explaining to her how he
Speaker 1: became the dread Pirate Roberts and he's like he's so patronizing.
Speaker 1: He's like, with me, so far does this make sense
Speaker 1: to you? And it's like it's not a hard story
Speaker 1: to understand, right, It's just like, hey, dummy, you get
Speaker 1: it stupid And I also don't like maybe I missed
Speaker 1: something because it was the first time I saw it.
Speaker 1: But like he becomes the dread Pirate Roberts and that
Speaker 1: becomes more important to him than getting back to he's alive,
Speaker 1: and like that's never from what I gets, all that's
Speaker 1: never explained of like why couldn't he just under that
Speaker 1: like persona she she was still there. Maybe it didn't
Speaker 1: move locations until she was kidnapped, but maybe it had
Speaker 1: just happened. Maybe I mean for a while, because he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was training and doing all kinds of like fencing, right,
Speaker 1: they didn't give an exact timeline. Well, it's convenient for this.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a plot device because as soon as
Speaker 1: she gets kidnapped, now she needs someone to rescue her.
Speaker 1: So it's it just happens to be at that moment,
Speaker 1: and he puts his plans on hold. He was like
Speaker 1: whatever it was, He's like, well, now it's important because
Speaker 1: she has been kidnapped. That maybe he was. Wesley's just
Speaker 1: I guess he just he Oh, now I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go back for her. Oh. Convenient that she's been captured,
Speaker 1: because now this cool story can unfold, called the Princess Bride.
Speaker 1: Maybe he did find out that she was kidnapped. Maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know. He's pure speculation to the ground. And
Speaker 1: here's just a you know, this is an unnecessary, dumb
Speaker 1: defense of him being mean to her and treating her
Speaker 1: like she's dumb. She is dumb. She is this particular
Speaker 1: person that he's talking to has been dumb before. How
Speaker 1: did he get this way? Though? I don't understand. It's
Speaker 1: like in the first, you know, when they're falling in love.
Speaker 1: At the beginning, they say maybe twenty words to each other,
Speaker 1: it's as you wish, as you wish, I love you
Speaker 1: and I'll never leave you goodbye. Just yeah, And I'm
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, these are very horny, blond adults, and
Speaker 1: I'm not okay with any of that. I'll also add,
Speaker 1: I do think that it's not nice to be it's
Speaker 1: not good to be mean to dumb people, even if
Speaker 1: they are dumb. I don't know about that. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's my position is, Mike takes one position
Speaker 1: still to dumb people. I say, for sure, cyber bully
Speaker 1: dumb people. Maybe not to their face, because dumb people
Speaker 1: could be very strong, m M I understand what they
Speaker 1: might be. Andrea the giant, and they might just Andrea
Speaker 1: crushes it and he's a good he's a poet's great anyway,
Speaker 1: She's maybe not dumb, but extremely naive, Yeah, which I
Speaker 1: could understand if she had like grown up a royal
Speaker 1: and like wasn't exposed to the world and like was
Speaker 1: just oh, I'm a princess. I'm like, I don't haven't
Speaker 1: have a new life experiences, but she's a commoner. I
Speaker 1: feel like she should know her have some street smarts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no streets. That's old dirt path smarts. Actually because
Speaker 1: she she goes on her daily ride. She rides all over.
Speaker 1: But she should know stuff I don't know. But she
Speaker 1: and I don't want to sound victim. Blame me because
Speaker 1: she's captured against her will and she's a victim, and
Speaker 1: but she is. She was wearing her capture me boots.
Speaker 1: She also threatens to kill herself this movie, like the
Speaker 1: towards the end with humber Dick. She you know, she
Speaker 1: goes and she was like, well, if you do, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to marry you. I'll just kill myself.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, you could try to escape.
Speaker 1: There's so many, Yeah, alternate paths other than like killing
Speaker 1: yourself because you can't be with this asshole. I don't
Speaker 1: know totally. Um she does, like it said, she makes
Speaker 1: that one escape attempt when she jumps into the el
Speaker 1: infested waters. Why not try that again? There are like
Speaker 1: no one's really holding her captive, Like what's it? Humberdink
Speaker 1: is like off planning her murder. She doesn't like she
Speaker 1: can just go like Lee like get on a horse
Speaker 1: and ride out of town. Yeah. I don't understand her
Speaker 1: at all. She seems like maybe she's just depressed and
Speaker 1: she just doesn't know it, because she from the beginning
Speaker 1: of the movie is like, maybe I'll just kill myself
Speaker 1: if I can't be with Wesley. Maybe she has mental
Speaker 1: health issues, and that's why she's falling back on this
Speaker 1: suicidality because it's not just codependent on which brings me
Speaker 1: to the point that of the pretty few lines of
Speaker 1: dialogue that she does have at the course of the movie,
Speaker 1: they are almost all about either Wesley or love or
Speaker 1: being in love with Wesley. She doesn't talk about anything else.
Speaker 1: We don't know anything else about her. Yeah, exactly, isn't
Speaker 1: there the scene where the old lady says that she's
Speaker 1: just garbage, and so that's like two ladies talking and
Speaker 1: it's just but both of them. But so it does.
Speaker 1: I've concluded that it does not pass the Bechtel test
Speaker 1: because even though those two women speak well, the old
Speaker 1: lady speaks at her, Buttercup doesn't really ever respond. But
Speaker 1: we're going with the name thing too. She doesn't have
Speaker 1: any she doesn't have a name, and they're talking about
Speaker 1: the context of their conversation is Buttercup's portrayal to Wesley,
Speaker 1: So it's about a man, and therefore, do not think
Speaker 1: it passes the Betel test. But don't feel bad, Princess Brian.
Speaker 1: A lot of movies don't. Also, don't feel bad because
Speaker 1: you're a movie. Can I tell you a funny story
Speaker 1: about the movie? I was. It's actually kind of a
Speaker 1: touching story as well. Maybe only that who can say.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tip it any further, but about
Speaker 1: two years ago, a friend of mine got married and
Speaker 1: I was at the wedding. The person who was getting
Speaker 1: married my friend. Her friend was officiating, and so the
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the wedding, this prest was like,
Speaker 1: I've never married anybody before. I just got the credentials
Speaker 1: so that I could marry my friends. So it's really
Speaker 1: a beautiful experience for me to get to do this.
Speaker 1: And since I've never done this before, I may never
Speaker 1: get it again. I was wondering if you guys would
Speaker 1: indulge me for a moment while I just quote one
Speaker 1: of my favorite lines from The Princess Bride, and it
Speaker 1: was like, okay, great, sure, And then she says and
Speaker 1: all right, everybody the shrieking eels okay, anyway, so now
Speaker 1: we've it was super fun. Also, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys know this, but getting a master's degree in
Speaker 1: scriting screenwriting does automatically like ordained you to officiate weddings.
Speaker 1: I also like that you called it scriting. I don't
Speaker 1: know how to talk masters thing. Yep, it was a
Speaker 1: joke that wasn't good to begin with, and I ruined
Speaker 1: it because I don't know how to talk scriting. Can
Speaker 1: we talk about the line that almost closes the movie
Speaker 1: there's a shortage of perfect breast since the world, first
Speaker 1: of all, and I come at this as someone in
Speaker 1: a similar predicament of having perfect breasts. Uh no, she
Speaker 1: she she is pretty flat chested. And not to shame her,
Speaker 1: because I'm right there with her. But if someone said
Speaker 1: I had perfect breast, I would be like, where you know? Uh?
Speaker 1: And second of all, what an obnoxious thing to say.
Speaker 1: And I hate that he said that. Yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: It's like the people who are like fighting breast cancer
Speaker 1: by being like, we've got to save the breasts, right right.
Speaker 1: It's just I don't know. I wanted to harpoon him
Speaker 1: more than ever at that moment, I need to harpoon
Speaker 1: him the whole movie. I will say that, you know,
Speaker 1: beauty is subjective, So if somebody ever tells you that
Speaker 1: you have perfect breasts, I would say thank you. I
Speaker 1: would rather harpoon someone than say thank you. Yeah, no
Speaker 1: compliments please her. Yeah, it is. It's a silly moment. Also,
Speaker 1: I just mean if it's like somebody that you care
Speaker 1: about and like you're in a relationship, not just like
Speaker 1: somebody on the street, sir. But I also think that
Speaker 1: they just have a toxic, terrible relationship and you shouldn't
Speaker 1: talk to her at all. Yeah, their relationship is very
Speaker 1: This is one of those things where they fall in
Speaker 1: love because one of them is a man and one
Speaker 1: of them is a woman, and which is how it
Speaker 1: worked for centuries. Work with my parents. Do you know,
Speaker 1: do you read as on Sorry's Modern Romance book. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's like in the first chapter there's like a thing
Speaker 1: of where he interviewed people who are like the oldest
Speaker 1: you know people today about their dating experiences. And there
Speaker 1: were some numbers about like one in six people over
Speaker 1: half without within a mile of them, and one in
Speaker 1: six grew up in the same building. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: this was before the time, hundreds of years earlier, and no,
Speaker 1: but people fell in love because even if they yeah,
Speaker 1: they were near each other, but then they were, they
Speaker 1: also had to be compatible. But there's like, no, there's
Speaker 1: like they're like, oh, you have blond hair, I have
Speaker 1: blond hair. We look like siblings, but we're not siblings, right,
Speaker 1: So that's what's sexy about it. I'm really attracted to
Speaker 1: the fact that you're in not my siblings. I guess. Yeah,
Speaker 1: standards were not very high back then. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I do think that there is something to you know,
Speaker 1: like tribal sort of connections. You know, like sometimes like
Speaker 1: Jews are attracted to other Jews, and you know, like
Speaker 1: tall people are attracted to potentially, I mean, it's not
Speaker 1: it's not a guarantee, but you definitely can see couples
Speaker 1: that look alike as long as they know they're not
Speaker 1: from the same actual family. Sure, you mean formally. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I never heard of this think. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I do agree with that. I just think that
Speaker 1: they're both insufferable in different ways. Well that's the thing too,
Speaker 1: it's together. The thing about stories is that you can
Speaker 1: build the world old and developed the characters and explain
Speaker 1: why they're good for each other. Not not do that.
Speaker 1: That's some scrider talk, gold Man. Come on, The book
Speaker 1: actually goes way more in depth than a lot. I've
Speaker 1: not read the book. I'm sure it also has some
Speaker 1: of the same problems. But I did really I did
Speaker 1: really like the book as well. I thought it was
Speaker 1: very funny. I don't read books of a master's degree,
Speaker 1: so I don't I actually don't know how to read,
Speaker 1: so oh I wanted. We already touched on this a
Speaker 1: little bit. But there is a chunk of time between
Speaker 1: around minute thirteen whenever they reached the cliffs of Insanity,
Speaker 1: to somewhere around minute thirty four, so almost twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: which is right when Leslie beats the little of the
Speaker 1: Baby Genius in the Battle of Wits, where she does
Speaker 1: not say a single thing, but she is in the
Speaker 1: in the scenes the whole time. She well, she only
Speaker 1: has a few like sliver of screen time. Even during that,
Speaker 1: I kept forgetting she was in that scene with the
Speaker 1: Baby Genius and Wesley. I kept forget, and then she
Speaker 1: would be sitting next to the baby Genius, and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh, yeah, I guess she is just sitting
Speaker 1: there like that was so that was like the most
Speaker 1: frustrating part for me was watching that scene. My favorite
Speaker 1: part of that scene is that the scene he had
Speaker 1: just set up a little picnic for the There was
Speaker 1: like graps and cheese and apples and like goblets and wine,
Speaker 1: and it's like, what were you going to do? Like
Speaker 1: you didn't decide to have the battle of wits until
Speaker 1: Wesley showed up and suggested it. Like it wasn't get
Speaker 1: a table I didn't even think of that. I think
Speaker 1: there was a stone, okay, but he had like a
Speaker 1: table cloth and stuff. He just like comes ready for
Speaker 1: other people. He was like, oh man, I hope he
Speaker 1: suggests that we have a battle of wits because I've
Speaker 1: got at all laid out ready to go. He made
Speaker 1: it happen. I did appreciate that he died, yeah, because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, he's not gonna be there
Speaker 1: to say that one word anymore inconceivable. I did not
Speaker 1: find that charming. I don't think that he was meant
Speaker 1: to be charming. I know, but I know that you're
Speaker 1: supposed to like you like that's the fun thing. What
Speaker 1: a bit of comic relief, and it's not. The Little
Speaker 1: Guys did a funny thing. And I remember when I
Speaker 1: first watched that movie the fact that he always like, oh,
Speaker 1: I put poison both cups like I spent the past
Speaker 1: few years growing up in immunity, I have caine powder.
Speaker 1: And I was like, brilliant self really enjoyed them. It
Speaker 1: was it was good, it was a clever thing to do.
Speaker 1: I had one note, because Baby Genius and and Andre
Speaker 1: the Giant are paired up to be like this, like
Speaker 1: little guy big guy team. It's very fun. It is fun.
Speaker 1: But I would argue that the best little guy big
Speaker 1: guy team that I know of is in Jesus Christ
Speaker 1: Superstar with Honest and Caiaphas. Oh I a little guy
Speaker 1: big guy team to remember Jesus Christ Superstar would be
Speaker 1: a very hard podcast. I have never seen it. I
Speaker 1: thought you were going to say, what is it Junior
Speaker 1: with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and oh, twins is what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 1: not Junior Junior. What's Oh that's one where he gets pregnant.
Speaker 1: What I want a career? He said, yeah, baby in
Speaker 1: him and they're like, let's see if a man can
Speaker 1: carry a baby. I want to see that movie. I
Speaker 1: just say, it's like a little noise, I got so excited.
Speaker 1: I don't remember it super well. It's been probably two
Speaker 1: decades since I've seen it. Okay, I didn't see it,
Speaker 1: and I bet we wouldn't love it. Uh yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't remember it being very good. The poster is terrifying. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was inconceivable. Is that the tagline? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that is crazy that that happened, because that's the word
Speaker 1: we were just talking about that. That is a good slogan.
Speaker 1: That's a good slogan for that for that movie. Yes,
Speaker 1: good catchphrase. It's like, you know the one for Doctor
Speaker 1: Strange that I like that I've seen on posters. It's
Speaker 1: the impossibilities or endless like that. Yeah, sometimes they're very bad,
Speaker 1: like almost always. I'm like, I look at these posters
Speaker 1: for movies and I'm like, if I'm gonna either see
Speaker 1: the movie, I'm not going to see a movie. Like
Speaker 1: I can't imagine the person that the tagline, you know,
Speaker 1: pushes it over either to yes or no, like you know,
Speaker 1: the gang's all here. What don't even just save some letters?
Speaker 1: Show us the pictures of the people giving people what
Speaker 1: they want. When I was in college, I made a
Speaker 1: student film called Baxter the Clown, and it was about
Speaker 1: a clown who was to George Knows, I don't know
Speaker 1: what twist with bas Okay and he decides to run
Speaker 1: away from the circus. That's fun twist. And he switched
Speaker 1: his places with his brother. She was like a businessman.
Speaker 1: His brother's name was Oliver, I think, and they switched places,
Speaker 1: so Oliver's like, I'm going to run away enjoin the
Speaker 1: circus and perfect brothers place. And Baxter was like the
Speaker 1: twin in office. They weren't, so it doesn't make a whole.
Speaker 1: But I didn't have access to all the idea of
Speaker 1: twins right anyway, so you couldn't have two people. That's
Speaker 1: exactly like I didn't have high tech c g I.
Speaker 1: And then the Baxter has to decide whether or not
Speaker 1: he wants to pursue this life as a businessman or
Speaker 1: to return to the circus. But the tagline that I
Speaker 1: wrote for this movie is he's climbing the corporate ladder
Speaker 1: to the big top. Guys, I'm so clever. We've been
Speaker 1: shooting on this movie, specifically, better cut the character for
Speaker 1: a while on that every what characters do you like.
Speaker 1: I do like an ego and yeah, so yeah that's
Speaker 1: the Chandler and Joey of and Miracle Max. That's a
Speaker 1: fun little cameo. But as well, yeah, sure, we do
Speaker 1: have to take into account the genre, which is why
Speaker 1: I wrote this. I chose this movie to write this
Speaker 1: paper on because sure, like things are going to be exaggerated.
Speaker 1: It's for kids, it's for the fun for the whole family.
Speaker 1: So like, characters are going to be pretty like archetypal,
Speaker 1: they're not going to be super nuanced, right, sure, hang on,
Speaker 1: let me find that really cool paragraph. Oh yeah, cool paragraph,
Speaker 1: come in right up. She doesn't read, but she does write.
Speaker 1: I don't know how it works once the words are down.
Speaker 1: She well, my thesis statement for this because I say, oh,
Speaker 1: I am dB lists all these different Oh yeah, let
Speaker 1: me see if I got it right. Uh, family, adventure, comedy, romance,
Speaker 1: and fantasy. That's the one I left. And I said
Speaker 1: that fantasy is the most prominent genre of these in
Speaker 1: The Princess Bride because the story within a story highlights
Speaker 1: the fantastical setting, characters, and narrative by juxtaposing them against
Speaker 1: the ordinary, realistic world of the grandfather relaying this story
Speaker 1: to his grandson, which we haven't really talked about yet,
Speaker 1: And I say, but it is not just anywhere in
Speaker 1: the middle fantasy. The Princess Bride is self aware to
Speaker 1: the extent that it playfully satirizes its own genre. So
Speaker 1: you guys, it's very academic plus today. And then I
Speaker 1: go on to talk about how the love story portrayed
Speaker 1: in this film is kind of the most fantastical and
Speaker 1: unrealistic element of the movie. That's fine, that's good think
Speaker 1: because like The Matrix, right, Hey, we already talked about
Speaker 1: that movie. Did you know that, that's what we did
Speaker 1: last week? I didn't know. Oh my gosh, I mean
Speaker 1: you're in the Matrix? Uh Matrix, I am the one, actually,
Speaker 1: I uh. We talked about it with Matt donnaher And
Speaker 1: when I got home I was so mad at myself
Speaker 1: because we had been talking about, like, oh, why isn't like,
Speaker 1: why couldn't Morpheus have been a woman? Why couldn't one
Speaker 1: of the agents have been a woman? Why? Like, why
Speaker 1: couldn't one of the two brothers been a sister? And
Speaker 1: then I was like, fuck, why couldn't they have been neo?
Speaker 1: Like why couldn't a woman be the savior has to
Speaker 1: be a man, But why couldn't everybody else? I was
Speaker 1: just like, the patriarchy is just I've been so socialized
Speaker 1: to think that the hero of a movie has to
Speaker 1: be a man that I didn't even suggest that. I
Speaker 1: was mad at myself for not suggesting it. But you're forgiving.
Speaker 1: We're doing it now, Thank you, thank you. I pilled
Speaker 1: up a paper I wrote in college, but it has
Speaker 1: nothing to do you can. What's it about Andy Warhol
Speaker 1: and the allure of photography? Don't worry? This is the
Speaker 1: solid be Mechanical reproduction is the phrase that sticks out
Speaker 1: when summarizing Andy warhol staggering volumes of artwork in the
Speaker 1: four decades he was a working artist. That sounds right. However,
Speaker 1: he uses this concept within so many different mediums in
Speaker 1: different phases of his career that a primary process becomes
Speaker 1: impossible to nail down. Wow, amazing that I have. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what this class was. This guy is
Speaker 1: hard to nail down. This guy, Yeah, you can't nail
Speaker 1: him down. I'm pretty sure that's what I just repeat
Speaker 1: for the rest of the Remember that was the class
Speaker 1: that I passed out in once you do that. I didn't.
Speaker 1: It wasn't on purpose. But what you did? What you do?
Speaker 1: You like faint or did you? Yeah, I'm a I'm
Speaker 1: a delicate flower and sometimes I I faint every couple
Speaker 1: of years getting there are men around to save. To
Speaker 1: my Andy Warhol professor, presumably, basically, I would have liked
Speaker 1: to have seen just a more active female character. I
Speaker 1: could have had more agency. Yeah, she could have had
Speaker 1: a more fleshed out personality. She could have done she was.
Speaker 1: She was put in several situations where she could have
Speaker 1: made a decision to be like, oh, I should do this,
Speaker 1: or I should try to help this person, or I
Speaker 1: can save myself because I hear the popping sounds that
Speaker 1: precede every little fire burst, like why don't I jump
Speaker 1: out of the way instead of having the guy fling
Speaker 1: me out of the way. And yeah, sure, it's a
Speaker 1: fairy tale. She's a princess, she's a damsel in the
Speaker 1: stress she had. He's gonna be saved. She's a delicate
Speaker 1: little flower. Um, but if they're gonna The thing about
Speaker 1: this movie is that it's look at this fantasy, but
Speaker 1: it's like it's not. I don't know I feel like
Speaker 1: every scene Buttercup appears in is a missed opportunity in
Speaker 1: one way or another. Like there's either an opportunity for
Speaker 1: her to do something that she doesn't, or there's an
Speaker 1: opportunity in a scene, you know. And and I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to bring up the baby Genius Wesley scene again, but
Speaker 1: like there could have even been a witty interjection from her.
Speaker 1: There could have been something at any time. And there's
Speaker 1: all this time that we could hear. What has she
Speaker 1: been doing for five years besides being sad and contemplating suicide? Right,
Speaker 1: and all we know is that she likes to ride
Speaker 1: a horse. And at the end, that's still all we know.
Speaker 1: She likes to ride a horse, and she loves Wesley,
Speaker 1: and it's just I don't know, she's pretty flat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she is a very one dimensional. There's no shortage of
Speaker 1: flat chested. I'm just echoing what Jamie said. I'm not
Speaker 1: adding my own. I stand by the comment. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: It's movie full of missed opportunities. Or she could have
Speaker 1: contributed so much more to the to the story and
Speaker 1: to the dialogue. And maybe she'll do it all in
Speaker 1: the Prince Groom. Love it, Love It love it. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, we can play a fun game and
Speaker 1: we'll call it the Battle of the Tits or the
Speaker 1: Battle of Clits. And then I forgot to act I
Speaker 1: named the game, and then that's except for the Labyrinth episode.
Speaker 1: We will have something for the Labyrinth. We're going to
Speaker 1: talk about the Labyrinth soon with our friend Jenny, and
Speaker 1: we have a game all planned out. I would know
Speaker 1: we have the name of the game, and then nothing yet,
Speaker 1: But there's time. There's time yet time. Let me ask you, guys,
Speaker 1: here's a game on account of three. I'll ask the
Speaker 1: say say question, and then I'll say three to one,
Speaker 1: and then you guys, give an answer to this question.
Speaker 1: Would you rather be if you could only be one?
Speaker 1: A princess or a bride? Three to one neither princess
Speaker 1: bred fun right, we'll see. If I was a princess,
Speaker 1: I'd use that platform of like fame and influence and
Speaker 1: power to change the world and make it a better place.
Speaker 1: If I was a bride, I'd just be like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm just married now. If I was a brad, I
Speaker 1: would do anything I want because you could be married
Speaker 1: to do anything you want. I mean, you can do
Speaker 1: being married doesn't give you like superpowers. I would fly
Speaker 1: whether or not you were married. It wouldn't change right now,
Speaker 1: I'd do the same ship that I'm doing now, except
Speaker 1: for like being on Tinder. That would be probably the
Speaker 1: one thing I would stop. I see, Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: still do that too. Hey, why you wanted married? True,
Speaker 1: that's true. That's true if I was a princess. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just wouldn't want that. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's kind of limiting it. Sure, I mean that's
Speaker 1: what Aladdin is all about. Let's talk about that. I
Speaker 1: should spend more time thinking about why I don't one
Speaker 1: of you. So, I think we've come to a moment
Speaker 1: where we can we can rate the is there anything
Speaker 1: we want to any other topics we want to we
Speaker 1: don't really discuss, like humber Dink or the story within
Speaker 1: a story. Yeah, so, like what does make sense about
Speaker 1: him is that he hires those three dudes to capture
Speaker 1: her and start a war because he wants to start
Speaker 1: a war with Guilder. For most of that just didn't
Speaker 1: matter to me, Yeah, because it was like, whenever you're
Speaker 1: saying that, I like, whatever he's trying to do will
Speaker 1: not work. Out. He's a he's a sociopath and he
Speaker 1: just likes to be you know, he likes power. He
Speaker 1: likes to be. He doesn't care about love. He just
Speaker 1: wants to be in power, and he wants to have
Speaker 1: a reason to go to war with this neighboring land
Speaker 1: that they have some treaty with. So if he could
Speaker 1: frame them for you know, kidnapping her, then he could
Speaker 1: be like, now a reason he just likes. He likes
Speaker 1: far Wad. Yeah, we should. We should do shkar f
Speaker 1: a r C. It's family adventure, romance and comedy by Caplet.
Speaker 1: Everybody plus Fantasy is another farcus spelled with two f's
Speaker 1: far Quad. Oh gosh, I liked the story within a story.
Speaker 1: I thought that that was fun. I wasn't like friend savage, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, how could you not. Yeah, that's that's what
Speaker 1: my whole That was what my paper was about. How
Speaker 1: like to frame it in this like the Princess Bride
Speaker 1: inside of another story was like it was allowed it
Speaker 1: to like poke fun at its own genre. The book
Speaker 1: is like that too. Yeah, There's there's like a chapter
Speaker 1: in the book where it's like and this chapter is like,
Speaker 1: you know, we've it's like they're they've discovered this old
Speaker 1: you know, like they're like, I'm gonna do a modern
Speaker 1: revamp of this old story from this you know, fake place,
Speaker 1: but they're presenting it as real. And they're like, in
Speaker 1: this chapter in the original it was about seventy three
Speaker 1: pages of just the describing the princesses dresses. So you
Speaker 1: don't need to hear that, so we'll just skip ahead.
Speaker 1: Oh that's fun. I like that. Yeah, it is fun. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, does a fun thing like that? Have you? Guys?
Speaker 1: Head the book A couple Hood by Paul Riser. He's
Speaker 1: one of the first comedians that I ever saw like
Speaker 1: on TV and I loved it, and so I got
Speaker 1: his book couple Hood, and I got it on tape
Speaker 1: and him reading drive around listening to it, and I
Speaker 1: believe the book, the physical copy of it starts on
Speaker 1: page like a hundred and forty three. That's the first
Speaker 1: page listed, and he's like, we're starting on page three
Speaker 1: because it's so hard to get into a book. And
Speaker 1: you know, like sometimes if if somebody like looks over
Speaker 1: your shoulder and they see your on page like two,
Speaker 1: then they judge you. So it's like this way like
Speaker 1: if somebody on the train they're like, wow, D forty four,
Speaker 1: that's pretty great, right, so nicely you feel like you're
Speaker 1: already in the middle of a a hundred three. That's where
Speaker 1: you start. Great guy, Paul Riser, was that like a
Speaker 1: novel hero? Oh? It was. It was like a sort
Speaker 1: of a memoir, but mostly about like his you know,
Speaker 1: his relationship and relationships in general, his wife, like being
Speaker 1: in a couple, the hood of a couple of nous,
Speaker 1: a couple of I'll read it one day. I like
Speaker 1: Craig Ferguson wrote a great novel that I would used
Speaker 1: to be I used to vouch for maybe a little
Speaker 1: bit too much in high school. Between the bridge and
Speaker 1: the river and it's there. I just remember there's a
Speaker 1: prominent character who's a televangelist and that he wore an
Speaker 1: orange robe, and at sixteen, I thought that was very fun.
Speaker 1: Orange robe like a prisoner. I thought of him a
Speaker 1: prisoner of his own belief. That was so when we
Speaker 1: rate the movie, what is the scale that we use
Speaker 1: nipples from one to five nipples and more nipples is good?
Speaker 1: Always more, always more? Five is the highest five nipples
Speaker 1: of the high pers rating. You could give a movie
Speaker 1: just to be I mean, we're reading it in the
Speaker 1: context of its representation of female characters, and you have
Speaker 1: to describe the nipples also really yeah, Like last week
Speaker 1: we had like chrome nipples because we're talking about the Matrix. Oh,
Speaker 1: I understand, yeah, but perfect breasted nipples I think. I
Speaker 1: also just don't like the phrase perfect breasts. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something I would be comfortable hearing at KFC.
Speaker 1: But I'm not directed at me. But that's a lot
Speaker 1: of things too. Well. We've all got our own baggage.
Speaker 1: I'll take please, all right, I would not be okay
Speaker 1: someone saying that about my body. Bucket to Jamie, what
Speaker 1: order do we go? I'll go first. So I grew
Speaker 1: up liking the movie, and then the more I watch it,
Speaker 1: the more I'm like, oh, this isn't as good of
Speaker 1: a movie as I once thought it was, especially considering
Speaker 1: it's portrayal of women as being stupid idiots who can't
Speaker 1: do anything. For this podcast, I would give it like
Speaker 1: two nipples. One from Physic the Giant, which is going
Speaker 1: to be huge and Harry that's a lot of nipples,
Speaker 1: and one from Baby Genius Fazzini, which is going to
Speaker 1: be small and Harry. I'll give it one nipple, which
Speaker 1: sounds harsh because it maybe is a little bit, but
Speaker 1: it's buttercups nipple and it's really soft and afraid and inverted. Wow.
Speaker 1: I like this might sound harsh because it is the
Speaker 1: worst rating I can give it, but hear me out.
Speaker 1: I would never say no nips. O there zero. You
Speaker 1: can give no nips nips not me. I want at
Speaker 1: least one, but also I'm fine with none. They're not
Speaker 1: deal breakers to me. Any number of nips. It's fine
Speaker 1: by me. I'll give it one point five. I give
Speaker 1: it the highest rating, and I give it one point
Speaker 1: five nipples because I have done an average of the
Speaker 1: two ratings that you guys gave it. Because I'm bowing
Speaker 1: to your experience in the issues of this female related matter.
Speaker 1: What do I know? Very no, all of you what
Speaker 1: a noble cause. We respect your decision and thank you
Speaker 1: for recognizing that we are correct the true masters. Yes, great, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on, Thank you for
Speaker 1: having me. Yes, sorry for a ship to go to
Speaker 1: a movie you liked for an hour. I am literally
Speaker 1: don't care. It's not it's not part of who I am.
Speaker 1: You also could have shut on me for an hour
Speaker 1: and we didn't. We did not, thank you. I think
Speaker 1: anytime we have a guest who's a man or who
Speaker 1: presents as a man, because you say that um open
Speaker 1: with a quick road genderless, I would say we just
Speaker 1: should on them the entire time. Give them a taste
Speaker 1: of how the patriarchy has treated up. Give me a
Speaker 1: bucket of that. Contact. Oh, I'm on your bucket list.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Is there anything you'd like to plug? Where
Speaker 1: can people find you online? Which about your stuff? If
Speaker 1: you put my name into online anywhere Mike Kaplan where
Speaker 1: Mike is spelled weird sorry m y q Kaplan spelled
Speaker 1: the quote unquote normal way. My caplan dot com is
Speaker 1: my website. You'll find you can find my Netflix special
Speaker 1: you can find my albums. I have a podcast called
Speaker 1: hang Out with Me. Everything should be available through my website.
Speaker 1: But if you also go to you know, any of
Speaker 1: the places Twitter and Instagram and not buying anymore Facebook,
Speaker 1: the things whatever, whatever things are, Yeah are good these days.
Speaker 1: I maybe have it. Oh, I'm there, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Check out Mike Caplan on the internet and in real
Speaker 1: life I performed places. There's there's two dates on there, Jamie,
Speaker 1: anything you wanna, I thought of something that's okay. Uh.
Speaker 1: You can find me on Twitter at Hamburger Phone. You
Speaker 1: can find me on website at Jamie loftus is innocent
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm also do it, uh plug in any crime.
Speaker 1: I did not do it except I drive with a
Speaker 1: little license. But that because let's it gives me anxiety
Speaker 1: to say it all loud, but for good reason, I
Speaker 1: should be afraid. But I also I just haven't gotten
Speaker 1: there I'm doing. I'm doing a long show in Boston
Speaker 1: on doing an hour in Boston on December six. If
Speaker 1: you happen hopefully in this podcast or this episode comes
Speaker 1: out by then, I was being optimistic, I'll be. I'll
Speaker 1: be in Boston on January twelve to fourteen at Laugh Boston.
Speaker 1: I love that place. Free diet cokes backstage. I remember
Speaker 1: we're free diet cokes. Are sure. It'll be my first
Speaker 1: time there. I didn't even know forward to it. Maybe Hey,
Speaker 1: it's me Caitlin you I'm me on Twitter at Caitlin
Speaker 1: Durante and some other places. I have a website Helan
Speaker 1: Dante dot com. Also, if you live in l A,
Speaker 1: which why would you live anywhere else? Our friend Mikey
Speaker 1: years in a different place, and so do probably the
Speaker 1: majority of the country. Definitely, most people don't live in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. But if you do live in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: and you want to check out a new weekly comedy
Speaker 1: show at Nerd Mount which is the place world. It's
Speaker 1: called rabbit Hole with Jay and Rory, hosted by Jay
Speaker 1: Larson and Rory School and I helped do things with it.
Speaker 1: So when does it happen? The first one is November
Speaker 1: and then it's every Wednesday. That'll be fun. And I
Speaker 1: think that's it. We've had a great time, guys. We
Speaker 1: have farewell, we have thank you. Wait what does he
Speaker 1: say as you wish? Okay, bye bye bye bye. We
Speaker 1: did it. We