Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff.
Speaker 1: I'll never told your protection of I heart radios how
Speaker 1: stuff works. We're moving into the holidays. We are you
Speaker 1: know what. Though, after the intro, for some reason, the
Speaker 1: Mario theme do Do Do Do Do just came into
Speaker 1: my head, and I think that's gonna be my new
Speaker 1: like theme background every time we start our introduction. Just
Speaker 1: in your in your head, in my head? Okay, oh no, not,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna help you, just in my head. Just
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that's what I'm going.
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you want to go to my head
Speaker 1: to a copyright battle with Nintendo, I will follow you
Speaker 1: the dark. I do not. Okay, Okay, yes, holidays coming.
Speaker 1: It is um which are the most wonderful time of
Speaker 1: the year, my least favorite time of the year for breakups.
Speaker 1: It's the most wonderful there you go, um yeah, And
Speaker 1: then you ask. More people break out this time of
Speaker 1: year than any other time of year, which is really
Speaker 1: odd because I've I've heard this as the cuffing season.
Speaker 1: You know that's this time this time? Okay. So Urban
Speaker 1: Dictionary has defined it as during the fall and winter months,
Speaker 1: people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous um,
Speaker 1: find themselves, along with the rest of the world, designed
Speaker 1: to be cuffed or tied down by theories relationship. The
Speaker 1: cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become
Speaker 1: lonely and desperate to be cuffed to an individual. So
Speaker 1: this is called the cuffing season. Oh, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see if this happens to me. Now I get it.
Speaker 1: With me, I get it because you know, I don't
Speaker 1: have to have to. I don't deal with a lot
Speaker 1: of um. What is that called. It's not external relative?
Speaker 1: So I have my immediate family that's where holidays and
Speaker 1: outside of that, I don't really have much interaction at
Speaker 1: the holidays anymore. But you know, there's obviously a question
Speaker 1: of like, are you still single going there? Um, So
Speaker 1: I get that kind of anxiety around it to My
Speaker 1: family has a tradition in which they like to take
Speaker 1: couples pictures or families pictures throughout and it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if it's just my immediate family, which involves me and
Speaker 1: three of the siblings and then their family, or if
Speaker 1: it's with my As you said, external I don't I'm
Speaker 1: not really sure how to go about that, But like
Speaker 1: my cousins and all of that, Yes, we're doing this
Speaker 1: earlier a little normal. Yeah that was already bad. Now
Speaker 1: it's even worse. But they also do it too where
Speaker 1: they have family pictures and they do it in front
Speaker 1: of everyone, in front of the fireplace. And I remember
Speaker 1: one year and by the way, I've never taken anyone
Speaker 1: home for a holiday, except for for ends who may
Speaker 1: need just say, you know, may not have their family
Speaker 1: nearby and can't go home. I've never brought anybody. That's
Speaker 1: just not something I do. Now. My siblings have just
Speaker 1: started taking people home at thirteen. Yeah. Um. And then
Speaker 1: there was my nieces and nephew not most, not all
Speaker 1: of them, but a few of them started, like a
Speaker 1: fifteen sixteen started bringing others with it. I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is so weird. To be fair, again, I think a
Speaker 1: lot of them would rather be with my family than
Speaker 1: their own family or whatever the crisis was at that time.
Speaker 1: But yeah, they have this habit of bringing people from
Speaker 1: a young age, and so I've never done that. It's
Speaker 1: never been an interest to me. I don't care enough.
Speaker 1: Maybe um, but because of that, they would have a
Speaker 1: couple of pictures, a couple of pictures, a couple of pictures,
Speaker 1: and then I would be alone and my grant, my
Speaker 1: poor sweet grandmother UM and I loved her dearly would
Speaker 1: be like that you need to get up there too,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's okay, I'm okay, I don't
Speaker 1: need to be by myself in front of the damn fireplace.
Speaker 1: But she would hash me so hard. My mom would
Speaker 1: get angry with me for not doing it, and then
Speaker 1: as I got older, I was like, Mom, please please,
Speaker 1: this makes me miserable, and she was like, you're right,
Speaker 1: You're right. And so one year she's like, I'll get
Speaker 1: up there with you. So it was me and my mom.
Speaker 1: Use me and my dad. It was me and someone
Speaker 1: else that was of significance but not a significant other. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that was always fun for the holidays. There's so
Speaker 1: many reasons I don't like it, but that was one
Speaker 1: of the other reasons. But man, if you had done that,
Speaker 1: you could make a calendar of just me. I should
Speaker 1: have leaned into it. I think it was partially like
Speaker 1: the shame of not bringing, you know, as the usual,
Speaker 1: because my younger cousins would bring people, and I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not stay younger. I mean like ten years younger.
Speaker 1: I would bring people and I'd be like, hey, y'all,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit in the corner. All good, don't look
Speaker 1: at me. Yeah, you know, I'm I'm fine. I'm fine
Speaker 1: over here. Um. I I can understand why the holidays
Speaker 1: they're they're stressful, and then you're adding stuff like photos
Speaker 1: and meeting the family, and I I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: the type of person who would wait and break up
Speaker 1: on the other side of the holidays. Um. I've only
Speaker 1: taken a significant other home once for the holidays. No. Actually,
Speaker 1: what happened was he wanted he was a big cruise person,
Speaker 1: and he wanted to do a long cruise over Christmas
Speaker 1: in New Year's and so I was gonna miss Christmas,
Speaker 1: and um, we invited my mom and my little brother
Speaker 1: to his place to have like a Christmas dinner. And uh,
Speaker 1: that's when I discovered because we spent most of the
Speaker 1: time at my place, he had no nothing to cook with, like,
Speaker 1: so we had to go by like pots and some stuff.
Speaker 1: And it was a kind of a disaster. That would
Speaker 1: be when I'm doing a catered mill. Somehow I should
Speaker 1: have that was well, I was trying to like replicate
Speaker 1: what I would have with my mom. Um. And then
Speaker 1: we went on cruise, and uh, we have all of
Speaker 1: these pictures of us, like Christmas trees and New Year's
Speaker 1: and in Hawaiian shirts. Uh. Usually for me, I'm just
Speaker 1: an athletic gear all the time. That was when I
Speaker 1: was training for a marathon. Actually training for a marathon
Speaker 1: on a bership is hard as I'm on the boat, Okay, right,
Speaker 1: that's right. Um. And you know we broke up not
Speaker 1: a couple of months after that, and then the next year,
Speaker 1: my mom I don't know if I've told this story
Speaker 1: on the show before, I think I had, but Bradley
Speaker 1: Cooper came to her office once, and yeah, my mom
Speaker 1: became obsessed with the idea that I could marry Bradley
Speaker 1: Cooper because I he was in the office and I
Speaker 1: did not even know he was in the office. I
Speaker 1: saw him, and honestly, I thought it was another corporate guy.
Speaker 1: I was trying to avoid him. Um turns out as
Speaker 1: a Bradley Cooper. And my mom was I think shallow
Speaker 1: had just come out, so she was in I'm like
Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper mine, so it'd be like nine PM on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: and I'd get a text for my mom. You know,
Speaker 1: he speaks French like random bags about why you should
Speaker 1: be in love with this person and pursue him. Yes,
Speaker 1: love it. I did too. I thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: So if I for a sponsor, we had a sponsor
Speaker 1: that was like a gift card holiday card company, and
Speaker 1: I had no significant other, I don't have dogs or
Speaker 1: I don't have basically would be just me, like you
Speaker 1: were saying. So I got the idea to photoshop me
Speaker 1: and Bradley Cooper together in this Christmas card, that wonderful
Speaker 1: Christmas car. It's so good, It's so good. And then
Speaker 1: on the back I wrote, you know you're right mom,
Speaker 1: Brad and I and she thought it was true for
Speaker 1: like two seconds. It's finally happened. But now my ideas
Speaker 1: every year, I'm going to like up the antie and
Speaker 1: make more and more ridiculous photos, which is awesome. A lover,
Speaker 1: I wish I could have stuff like that. UM, up
Speaker 1: until about and that will we'll stop with the personal stories.
Speaker 1: But up until about four or five years ago when UM,
Speaker 1: a majority of my siblings which is all of my
Speaker 1: siblings went through sad divorces. Um My mom at Christmas
Speaker 1: holiday traditions would be hard yelling at me about how
Speaker 1: I'm going to die alone. Oh gosh. Yes, So this
Speaker 1: is also another reason that I'm like, this is the
Speaker 1: worst season of the year, so I should start doing that.
Speaker 1: I should do some photo shopping and be like, look,
Speaker 1: look what's happening. I'm dating this dude. I need to
Speaker 1: find a picture of Chris Evans. Oh, I need to
Speaker 1: like photoshop myself being hugged by him. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: I can help you with this. I wanted to hold me. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe one day. You know, we're actually not talking about
Speaker 1: specifically this, We're talking about heartbreak. So my mother was
Speaker 1: heartbroken because there are a lot of different types of heartbreak.
Speaker 1: I feel like the one that most people think of
Speaker 1: is when you're significant other you break up or something.
Speaker 1: But there's a bunch of different types. And we are
Speaker 1: going to be talking a lot about clearly about that
Speaker 1: specific type of heartbreak, but we're gonna talk talk about others.
Speaker 1: And it is it does seem to be a cultural
Speaker 1: obsession of ours. Um, it's hard to avoid. I mean,
Speaker 1: on a daily basis. As I was walking here, I
Speaker 1: had Google Play on Shuffle, and I think every song
Speaker 1: was about heartbreak. Um. And I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: because I've been researching it and Google knows everything you
Speaker 1: do every um, but I was kind of like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and after I broke up with the aforementioned boyfriend, UM,
Speaker 1: I remember all of a sudden these songs that I
Speaker 1: had been making fun of. I was like, yes, right,
Speaker 1: I feel it too, right. I absolutely understand that because
Speaker 1: they're still in the back of my head and still
Speaker 1: on my playlist too. So when I would randomly shovel something,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that emotion comes up. Yeah, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's that feeling. I can't listen to this right now. Right.
Speaker 1: It is funny how there is a part of at
Speaker 1: least for me, to a part of me that sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wanted to live in this emotion, and
Speaker 1: then other times I'm like, oh God, no, please, I
Speaker 1: gotta avoid it with all costs. So I'm like, no
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift songs actually. Um. So one of the things
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about as well is something I
Speaker 1: know some of us have heard about, can you die
Speaker 1: from heartbreak? And in my family, my grandfather died a
Speaker 1: month after my grandmother. UM, and we often say it
Speaker 1: was heartbreak. I don't know that that. I probably wasn't that,
Speaker 1: but he was the devastated when she died. And UM,
Speaker 1: I think he just kind of, I don't know if
Speaker 1: lost the will to live, but it became much harder
Speaker 1: for him. Right. It seems that a swift decline when
Speaker 1: it's like that. UM with my grandparents, the same thing.
Speaker 1: I don't think it was, but maybe it's more so
Speaker 1: in our head, but it feels like it's a heartbreak
Speaker 1: about whatever situation has happened. UM. And in our past
Speaker 1: episode on emotional Labor, we talked a bit about the
Speaker 1: stats around male widowers who have a higher mortality rate
Speaker 1: than female widowers. We've also done episodes on how to
Speaker 1: deal with heartbreak. UM, here's some bad examples are revenge
Speaker 1: body not so bad example, I guess is post break
Speaker 1: up haircut. It can be bad, it could be good.
Speaker 1: The beans. Yeah, even after I've done that episode, I
Speaker 1: knew the traps and the pitfalls, and I did it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: have you done something like that, not necessarily haircuts? UM,
Speaker 1: I think I've definitely done, Like I need to get
Speaker 1: in shape, all those things I do the crying a
Speaker 1: little bit, but I'm also a little more motivated. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I gotta do anything but sit here
Speaker 1: and think about it. That's kind of that. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna volunteer for this. I gotta do that. I
Speaker 1: gotta do this. And then at night, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I gotta find a way to sleep. Where's not meltonin.
Speaker 1: I gotta hug my dog. I gotta watch the same reruns,
Speaker 1: which is not unusual for me any other day. I
Speaker 1: guess I have my infamous story around the office of
Speaker 1: accidentally ordering seventy cookies in my like throes of of
Speaker 1: the post breakup. The worst that got it was three am.
Speaker 1: The cookie ladies showed up at the door and was like, oh, honey,
Speaker 1: I know you didn't mean to do this. I was
Speaker 1: crying when I answered the door, and then I took
Speaker 1: it was it was storming, and I took the box
Speaker 1: of cookies and destroyed them with the baseball bat outside. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's dramatic. It was a Shawshank redemption, but much less
Speaker 1: like meaningful moment. That's dramatic. Were you screaming at the
Speaker 1: cookie It was like like scream crying in my head,
Speaker 1: I want to know that you threw a cookie up
Speaker 1: and like you would yell curse at him. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: then the next day I had like the grossest fleeting.
Speaker 1: I didn't do it. I was like, I wonder if
Speaker 1: any of those cookies are saligeable? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: make him out. I'm not mad at I'm not mad
Speaker 1: at that. And then I have felt a new type
Speaker 1: of heartbreak since my dad died, which is a more
Speaker 1: kind of deep incurable sadness as opposed to for me
Speaker 1: that that post breakup, which is really I think I've
Speaker 1: been through too. That we're really serious post break up
Speaker 1: like grief, and those are more I go through destructive
Speaker 1: rage um and and like angry crying. I guess a
Speaker 1: lot of that um. And then I um, after I
Speaker 1: love China. That was a really a moment in my
Speaker 1: life that I would describe as heartbreak. And when I
Speaker 1: walked to work every day there's just smell like a
Speaker 1: it's like a oil, just cooking oil, and it reminds
Speaker 1: me of China. And every day I feel like a pang.
Speaker 1: And that's been I mean, I think years. Yeah, that's true,
Speaker 1: that's true. And I do think a lot of people,
Speaker 1: including myself. We we have kind of these markers of
Speaker 1: post breakup or post pet dying or post whatever traumatic thing.
Speaker 1: Um because there are life changing events, they're transformative and
Speaker 1: you kind of write their milestones. Yeah, like I said, um,
Speaker 1: I definitely phil What I do is kind of I
Speaker 1: slip into the motivation mode and that might go into
Speaker 1: you know, post breakup body type of situation. Um. I
Speaker 1: also do a loss of different other activities, including like
Speaker 1: I tortured myself to sleepless nights and I just sit
Speaker 1: there and talk about think about, you know, what is
Speaker 1: wrong with me essentially, and then I dig deep social
Speaker 1: work background, you know, about analyzing my actual diagnosis. Why
Speaker 1: are these blah blah blah blah blah go back to
Speaker 1: my childhood? And then also grief is definitely something that
Speaker 1: brings whole new heartbreak, a loss or death of things
Speaker 1: that can't be healed without time and support oftentimes, and
Speaker 1: of course it's always going to be there because it's
Speaker 1: a part of losses permanent. So because death is permanent,
Speaker 1: you know, and it sounds really obvious, but because of that,
Speaker 1: there's no backing into everything's gonna be fine. We could
Speaker 1: redo this, we could redo that, you know. You and
Speaker 1: I talked about this in our death and loss in
Speaker 1: the Dutiful Daughter episode, where there's always going to be
Speaker 1: a little bit of regret. It doesn't matter what it does,
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter how perfect you think your relationship is,
Speaker 1: and it just is UM and then don is significant.
Speaker 1: I actually grieve over my dog still, Benny, whom I
Speaker 1: called Bennington Ziggler because I just have to get a
Speaker 1: full name, UM, and I couldn't sleep in the bed
Speaker 1: without him, and it took me years to even get
Speaker 1: a new dog, which we talked about Peaches, and I'm
Speaker 1: already like I'm still kind of like shaken by the
Speaker 1: idea UM. But it was weird for me, and I
Speaker 1: think this has a whole lot of different things. But
Speaker 1: when my grandfather died within the same year as my
Speaker 1: dog died, and I think my grandfather had passed away
Speaker 1: and then my dog died, and I grieved harder about
Speaker 1: my dog, but I think it was just a culmination
Speaker 1: of all the things that had happened, and it just
Speaker 1: felt even bigger loss on loss, you know. And then
Speaker 1: I felt that way in my career, my job, I've
Speaker 1: worn and loss as in what I believe is failures,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think I sometimes confused
Speaker 1: my failure and anxiety as loss, which is a thing
Speaker 1: to hard stop. It's really hard to stop grieving over
Speaker 1: what could have been, what ifs UM, But the recovery
Speaker 1: is faster, hopefully, hopefully if you can actually get on
Speaker 1: right track whatever mental health situation you have. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that was part of the bigger grieving processes
Speaker 1: that I had to go through. It was being heartbroken
Speaker 1: because I felt like I couldn't do or say someone
Speaker 1: or you know it even still like actually recently happened
Speaker 1: because obviously I'm in the middle of UM doing two
Speaker 1: very different things as my job and career, and I
Speaker 1: reflect on what I was doing and I feel like,
Speaker 1: partially did I fail if I leave or if I
Speaker 1: try something new, or wouldn't you have what is this failure?
Speaker 1: So so weird like grieving process for sure, and heartbreaking
Speaker 1: moments for me to think on those things. Yeah, UM,
Speaker 1: And we've both talked about how UM I went through
Speaker 1: a sense of heartbreak for like my younger self and
Speaker 1: feeling like she was a little sister that died and
Speaker 1: that was kind of a pretty big grieving process and
Speaker 1: through this show, UM, we've had to deal with that.
Speaker 1: I think for me that was one of the first
Speaker 1: times I've directly acknowledged and dealt with it. But it was.
Speaker 1: It's pretty serious, and I mean a lot of the
Speaker 1: things we're talking about clearly heartbreak has major impact. Is
Speaker 1: so powerful. UM dictates a lot of our decisions, it does. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, like fear, fear of heartbreak is such a
Speaker 1: motivator for so many people. You have rejection that kept
Speaker 1: me so I'm gonna talk about a little later, but
Speaker 1: that kept me from even trying to get into a
Speaker 1: relationship up still still yeah, it's it's scary. UM. So
Speaker 1: one of the things we like to do, of course,
Speaker 1: is our definitions. And as we said, we are going
Speaker 1: to be talking a lot about breakup heartbreak. But you know,
Speaker 1: there are all kinds of heartbreak. I remember uh having
Speaker 1: a like round table with the women. This was before
Speaker 1: you worked here, Samitha, but after Donald Trump was elected
Speaker 1: in the women in this office, and like experiencing joint
Speaker 1: heartbreaks can experience like political heartbreak, loss of a loved one,
Speaker 1: loss of pet, loss of agency, traumatic injury. UM, there
Speaker 1: are a lot of things that will give you this
Speaker 1: kind of like heart pain that we're talking about. Yeah.
Speaker 1: According to behavioral psychologist Joe Hemmings, heartbreak is a quote
Speaker 1: state of devastating emotional loss. While different for all of us,
Speaker 1: the intense feelings of sadness, grief, and the overwhelming sense
Speaker 1: of never being able to get past the pain are common.
Speaker 1: And if we at the brain, breakups trigger the same
Speaker 1: area as physical pain, and they induce the same symptoms
Speaker 1: as drug withdraw and not like jug with all light,
Speaker 1: I think like medium drug withdraw. This is part of
Speaker 1: the reason we feel the need to send ill advised
Speaker 1: like night text to our scroll through our ex's Instagram. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no way, I'm a little weird with that. So we
Speaker 1: all go through heartbreak. Let's just say that heartbreak is
Speaker 1: universal and on average, by the age of thirty, most
Speaker 1: of us will have experienced three breakups, with one of
Speaker 1: them significantly impacting our quality of life for a period
Speaker 1: of time, and the number one reason report for breakups
Speaker 1: lack of communication no surprise to um and. Some symptoms
Speaker 1: of heartbreak include isolation, isolating yourself, numbness, volatile emotions, unhealthy eating,
Speaker 1: working all the time, or inability to work, substance abuse,
Speaker 1: lack of sleep. Um, just these feelings of being unlovable, damaged,
Speaker 1: deeply unworthy, like you'll never find happiness again. A study
Speaker 1: conducted by Christine Tompkins out of University of Rochester but
Speaker 1: forth that broken heart syndrome a k A. Stress induced
Speaker 1: heart failure is a real thing. This is also called
Speaker 1: stress induced cardio myopathy or taco subo cardio myopathy. Taco
Speaker 1: subo is name for octovis traps that look like broken hearts.
Speaker 1: Women are more likely to experience sharp heart pains in
Speaker 1: response to emotional pain. Further science has found links between
Speaker 1: mental health, depression and heart disease. Broken heart syndrome presents
Speaker 1: very similar to a heart attack shortness of breath, chest
Speaker 1: pains minus the blocked arteries. What's happening is a part
Speaker 1: of your heart enlarges and kind of falls down on
Speaker 1: the job when it comes to pumping. But it usually
Speaker 1: only lasts a couple of weeks and it is treatable. Yes, um,
Speaker 1: and I did want to put in here just as
Speaker 1: a kind of joking, kind of serious aside, there are
Speaker 1: some benefits heartbreak. I mean, the main one is you
Speaker 1: learn a lesson right, hopefully you learn something. Are you
Speaker 1: appreciate somebody you know? Um? But for me, I never
Speaker 1: put on real clothes, you know, eat cookies or cheese
Speaker 1: or my case, apparently fun shishido's all day every day. Um,
Speaker 1: watching the same movies over and over again with no
Speaker 1: judgment my friends. As I said, watch How to Train
Speaker 1: Your Dragon with me probably three times in a row recently.
Speaker 1: And obviously these aren't healthy in the long run, These
Speaker 1: aren't healthy habits to build. But while you're in the
Speaker 1: throws of grief, I was acceptable. Yeah. I usually give
Speaker 1: people a time frame. Yeah, you do do if you're
Speaker 1: going through a recent divorce, I'll give you a year. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll give a because it's a lot of like up
Speaker 1: and down. Ye. Well, honestly, it's just like trying to
Speaker 1: figure who you are again without that person longtime relationship.
Speaker 1: Probably the same thing I'm going to give you over
Speaker 1: a long time. But then at one point I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna and I
Speaker 1: do this for myself. I think I do a shorter
Speaker 1: time frame for myself because I'm like, this is a ridiculous,
Speaker 1: get over it. Um, I'm like, Okay, we gotta do
Speaker 1: at least these things, but for now, we can dictate
Speaker 1: exactly what you need, Like you can tell me exactly
Speaker 1: what you need, whether it's me coming in there, just
Speaker 1: sitting with you in the dark, me leaving you alone
Speaker 1: for a small amount of time. I'm not gonna leave
Speaker 1: you alone too often because I have to check and
Speaker 1: make sure you're okay. Um uh. And then when it
Speaker 1: comes to all right, maybe it's tough for therapy, you know,
Speaker 1: like which we all should do anyway, but it's definitely
Speaker 1: some of those I'm like, all right, yes you need time,
Speaker 1: you need morning for sure, but I'm gonna be the
Speaker 1: friend that's gonna be there for you. And if that
Speaker 1: means to love, I got it. Yes you do. Um.
Speaker 1: And again, we've talked about this a lot of times,
Speaker 1: but people experience grief in different ways, and it's like
Speaker 1: not linear. So one day you'll be oh, I'm fine,
Speaker 1: it's finally over, and then the next day, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's never gonna end, right, lots of ups and downs,
Speaker 1: and people do, um experience it in a lot of
Speaker 1: different ways and a lot of different time frames. Um.
Speaker 1: So you you have the best knowledge of what you need.
Speaker 1: And you know, grief is a it's a mysterious thing.
Speaker 1: So it's hard to it's hard to look at yourself
Speaker 1: and say, I think I'll be fine given this. It
Speaker 1: is it is put that on a pillow and mel
Speaker 1: it was please just saying, you know, Samantha and I
Speaker 1: are very motivated, and I'm sure a lot of your
Speaker 1: listeners are, but sometimes time is the only thing right, right.
Speaker 1: But we do have some other things we would like
Speaker 1: to talk about, but first we have a quick break
Speaker 1: for a word from our sponsored and we're back, Thank
Speaker 1: you sponsor. So we did want to talk about gender
Speaker 1: differences because there are some gender differences when it comes
Speaker 1: to heartbreak. I bet a lot of you would guess
Speaker 1: that women have it worse. Um, or at least they
Speaker 1: they're more open with it. I guess open. Maybe they
Speaker 1: have all the fields more fields. Yeah, and we all
Speaker 1: know the stereotype of women. I've already said that this
Speaker 1: is a benefit of the break up in your pjs,
Speaker 1: down in jugs of ice cream, through the tears, um.
Speaker 1: And there there is actually science about this, and a
Speaker 1: science is a little mixed. Yeah, people are complicated. People
Speaker 1: are complicated. I wonder how much of it is too, um,
Speaker 1: because if you look at religious aspects, a lot of
Speaker 1: the blame goes on women about something like relationships, marriage
Speaker 1: is falling apart, and the responsibilities they have within a
Speaker 1: marriage and keeping a marriage happy. Yeah yeah, I know that. Uh,
Speaker 1: that whole thing of like blaming women for men cheating
Speaker 1: because you clearly weren't keeping him satisfied, keep it together.
Speaker 1: You have to be fit like actual um books about
Speaker 1: from written by women in order to get husbands. What
Speaker 1: is that called operation h t oh? Yeah. Actually, the
Speaker 1: book Passion and Purity, written by Elizabeth Elliott a long
Speaker 1: long time ago, was a big, huge thing. I actually
Speaker 1: read it, really dug into it, really just put myself
Speaker 1: all up, been there and it's not awful. There's not
Speaker 1: like it's not awful awful sentiments. Um well, actually yeah
Speaker 1: there is if we have It's been a while since
Speaker 1: I've read it. I guess the whole idea of that
Speaker 1: purity in itself, which if we talked about as of
Speaker 1: recent t I, um, the purity tests and the purity
Speaker 1: rings are kind of gross in itself. That's kind of
Speaker 1: actually gross in itself. Um. Two, if you want to
Speaker 1: be a virgin. If you want to save yourself however
Speaker 1: you want to claim it, that's wonderful, that's beautiful, you
Speaker 1: do you. But to have this whole stipulation and this
Speaker 1: title is absurd in itself, but and especially placing it
Speaker 1: all young girl says that their responsibility, but the same
Speaker 1: author would go around and talk about how if you're
Speaker 1: not keeping your body fit, you're dishonoring your husband. It
Speaker 1: was this whole thing, and I was like, what the hell, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what the hell? Indeed? Right, And it's somewhat like that.
Speaker 1: I think that has a lot to do with And
Speaker 1: I know, again we're I'm getting off track because we're
Speaker 1: talking about heartbreak. But that level of responsibility being placed
Speaker 1: on women and females in general, to say this may
Speaker 1: have been your fault as to why he cheated, or
Speaker 1: this may have been your fault as to why your
Speaker 1: marriage didn't last, it's just really absurd. Yeah, and we're
Speaker 1: so ready to take it on anyway, it's like we're
Speaker 1: probably gonna think yeah. Fourteen study from a UK dating
Speaker 1: site found that men actually reported higher rates of love
Speaker 1: sickness and sadness after a breakup, even given that it
Speaker 1: wasn't quote true love. Um, that was the main difference.
Speaker 1: Men felt heartbreak in more situations as compared to women's
Speaker 1: severity was kind of the same. When interviewed about this
Speaker 1: this finding, a psychologist suggested it maybe because men overestimate
Speaker 1: women's interests and it therefore hurts more when women don't
Speaker 1: reciprocate their affections. And yeah, that's very heterosexual, although I
Speaker 1: guess bisexual, it could be. Yeah. The study also found
Speaker 1: that men are more likely to engage in casual sex
Speaker 1: post break up, while women are more likely to dive
Speaker 1: into work party too hard comfort eat. That sounds familiar.
Speaker 1: A different study found the exact opposite. It concluded that
Speaker 1: women feel the pain of breakups longer and that new
Speaker 1: relationships don't necessarily help. The study also found as the
Speaker 1: number of breakups went up, women's overall mental health went
Speaker 1: down in a way that men's didn't. However, it did
Speaker 1: find that single women's mental health was higher than men's
Speaker 1: mental health. Oh, I like that. Women also reported feeling
Speaker 1: more physical pain. The study authors who came to that
Speaker 1: conclusion thought that this had to do with the fact
Speaker 1: that women do do the general fact that we good
Speaker 1: pregnant invest more in relationships. This potential biological investment has
Speaker 1: made women choose your over time, which means the loss
Speaker 1: of a quote high quality mate hurts more. The same
Speaker 1: study found that women come out on the other side
Speaker 1: as emotionally stronger and recover better compared to ben Multiple
Speaker 1: studies have found that both men and women find self
Speaker 1: esteem within relationships, so it makes sense that after relationships
Speaker 1: end it's a hit to our self esteem. We feel
Speaker 1: a loss of identity. However, this self esteem is arrived
Speaker 1: at differently. Women get it through connection, while men get
Speaker 1: it through social status. Generally, these in general terms, because
Speaker 1: of these basic differences that men and women do typically
Speaker 1: experience heartbreak differently. Men are more likely to get active
Speaker 1: in some way, while women are more likely to reach
Speaker 1: out to their support group. Because in a lot of societies,
Speaker 1: women are allowed to be more open when it comes
Speaker 1: to emotions, women may actually move on from breakups more
Speaker 1: quickly than men. Um, and this is one of the
Speaker 1: many ways society influences how we grieve. Right but this
Speaker 1: made me think about what happens when you don't want
Speaker 1: to be in relationship, and this comes up in in
Speaker 1: my therapy not infrequently. Right um, because it does make
Speaker 1: me feel sometimes like I have no self worth since
Speaker 1: people are always sort of like, where is your your incomplete?
Speaker 1: You're missing something. UM. I feel like society sees me
Speaker 1: generally as a waste. UM. It's made me do things
Speaker 1: I haven't wanted to do and try to fit into
Speaker 1: molds I don't want to fit into. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I was the same way. I felt abnormal because I
Speaker 1: didn't get into too many relationships either. UM, as in,
Speaker 1: do I have a mental block as to why I'm
Speaker 1: not looking as hard as others or why I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I need to UM. I never actually dated
Speaker 1: in high school, and I actually didn't date in college either.
Speaker 1: I think I went on the whole the three dates
Speaker 1: didn't have any relationships within UM. I think we had
Speaker 1: like piddly kid kiddish relationships. You know, he's my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: We you know in the high school or whatever, but
Speaker 1: never actually dated. UM. And it wasn't until my mid
Speaker 1: twenties that I actually started to look. And a lot
Speaker 1: of that had to do with being open and feeling
Speaker 1: like I could be vulnerable, and because of some of
Speaker 1: the trauma that I had experienced, it was not possible
Speaker 1: for me of course I say I yearned to be wanted.
Speaker 1: That is something that's always been UM at the forefront
Speaker 1: of my thoughts. But that's generally in everything, whether it's
Speaker 1: my job, whether it's friendships, that someone wants me. There
Speaker 1: essentially UM and my desirability and in my fear of
Speaker 1: rejection stopped me. UM. Now I'm very comfortable in being sinkle.
Speaker 1: I think I said that recently, Like that is something
Speaker 1: that I know, and it's easy and I'm cool with it.
Speaker 1: So to get into a relationship is like, do I
Speaker 1: really want to compromise here? It's really worth my time.
Speaker 1: A study from two thou eighteen out of the Journal
Speaker 1: of Experimental Psychology examined the effectiveness of three coping strategies,
Speaker 1: thinking bad thoughts about your ex, accepting your love for
Speaker 1: your ex, or distracting yourself with things that have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with your ex, which I like that option.
Speaker 1: They found that all three help in some way, but
Speaker 1: a mix of these methods provided the most relief. So
Speaker 1: maybe listening one thing you don't like about person, one
Speaker 1: thing you love, and then one thing that has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with them. I think we should practice that
Speaker 1: more often. The study authors proposed that removing feelings of
Speaker 1: love attached with an X is the primary way to
Speaker 1: move on. They call this love regulation, which I love
Speaker 1: I love love regulation the term UM and they also,
Speaker 1: as always, recommend not making life changing decisions during a
Speaker 1: life changing time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, don't. It's it's
Speaker 1: so tempting because you're like, this world takes everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there are moments where I'm like, okay, I'm moving out
Speaker 1: of the country. It's time to go to Antarctica. Finally
Speaker 1: for me. Another study found that it takes about three
Speaker 1: months to get it over a break up. Oh, I
Speaker 1: have taken so much longer. I give you a year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it depends on how long you've been with someone. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that's like an average, like you'll always remember that.
Speaker 1: But still I give you a full year before I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: because it my that year includes you and you shouldn't.
Speaker 1: But you probably dating around, maybe miscommunicating with people, breaking
Speaker 1: a few people hearts, not necessarily in that way, like
Speaker 1: doing noncommittal things with you know what, so hookups and such.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, sure, I'll give you that. I'll give
Speaker 1: you that. I'll let you know you're being a dumbass,
Speaker 1: but I'll give you that. I'm not gonna be mad
Speaker 1: at you for it. Yes. Uh. Then, of course there
Speaker 1: are the comparisons between men and women in our media
Speaker 1: when it comes to breakups, how women are so sad
Speaker 1: without a man in their life, and how men can
Speaker 1: finally live it up, be free, have hook ups. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always think of um, and I know we did
Speaker 1: an episode on this forever ago, but the coverage of
Speaker 1: Jadea for Anderson, like she's the saddest person that's ever existed. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And it was always like, well, it kind of did
Speaker 1: start off with the Brad Pitt thing. Yeah, that whole
Speaker 1: he left you for Angelina Jolie, who was the ultimate
Speaker 1: sex symbol because you're the girl next door, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and just like you know, she would date somebody and
Speaker 1: then it would end and she's broken hearted by the
Speaker 1: person she was dating. It's like finally able to date
Speaker 1: all over again. And I'm like, okay, whatever. I think
Speaker 1: Jan Franson's just okay, But I mean, if you really
Speaker 1: thinking on it too, in that level, Brad Pitt to
Speaker 1: me was even sadder because he would have you ever
Speaker 1: seen the pictures of him in different relationships with different couples,
Speaker 1: how he mimicked that style of the girl. There's this
Speaker 1: whole those you're like, So to me, he was always
Speaker 1: sadder because he's like he has to have a relationship
Speaker 1: in order to find his identity. Yeah, so yeah, you
Speaker 1: need to go with that. I was hilarious. So you
Speaker 1: see him with quin Couch and you're like what, And
Speaker 1: then you see with Angela and Jolie and Brad Pitt.
Speaker 1: You're like a Brait, Angela, Jelly and then Jennifer or instant.
Speaker 1: But he looks very different and very much like that
Speaker 1: person in the pictures. There's a Parks in Rac episode
Speaker 1: about that. Um. I know you've never seen Star Wars
Speaker 1: and this is not the one I would recommend. But
Speaker 1: in episode two, Attack of the Clones, pad Me a
Speaker 1: k a. Natalie Portman has the infamous line and you're
Speaker 1: breaking by heart the first thing I thought of. I
Speaker 1: love the enthusiasm in that line. Oh yeah, you gotta
Speaker 1: do delivered a um. And I mean, if you pick
Speaker 1: just randomly three pieces of media, I bet one of
Speaker 1: them has to do with broken heart, and I in
Speaker 1: a way, I believe we romanticize heartbreaking. A lot of
Speaker 1: ways in our in our medium. When I was younger,
Speaker 1: I wanted to have a love that was so powerful
Speaker 1: that the heartbreak would hurt as much as I was
Speaker 1: seeing on TV or in movies. Um and so I like,
Speaker 1: I had on my binder a poem that the w
Speaker 1: H autumn poem Funeral Blues. I was really into the
Speaker 1: beauty and greef. It's also very email. Were we all, well,
Speaker 1: he and I were, And then I kind of I
Speaker 1: was thinking about a bit more and maybe we what
Speaker 1: we romanticize is self destruction, or maybe it's a combination
Speaker 1: of two things. Of this love that we always see
Speaker 1: and then the self destructive. We love broken things though.
Speaker 1: That's kind of why we like shows that have broken
Speaker 1: people in it. So you think of, um, my so
Speaker 1: called life is all about broken people like you just
Speaker 1: love that and you want to fix Jared leto real hard,
Speaker 1: real hard. And the people who seem to get it together,
Speaker 1: keep it together and be happy were the antagonists or
Speaker 1: the bad guys, and the essentially so the nerd. It
Speaker 1: was kind of like saw like he was too smart
Speaker 1: and got it together. And then the girl who had
Speaker 1: the family and was a cheerleader was also not the
Speaker 1: great one. When you had all these other things that
Speaker 1: were happening, they were more interesting. Whether it was a
Speaker 1: drug overdoce or whether it's you know, and it's it's
Speaker 1: definitely and I say broken people, but it's outcast as well.
Speaker 1: And that's that level of we're very interested in we
Speaker 1: feel that and we feel oh good, we're not alone hurting.
Speaker 1: That's true. Oh and speaking of do you have a
Speaker 1: favorite heartbreak breakup songs? So I have a few. So
Speaker 1: I had several Elliott Smith's songs. Of course I wanted
Speaker 1: to go down that road. Death Cab definitely had a
Speaker 1: few of those songs up to me. I think they
Speaker 1: had one of the best, um I hate my father
Speaker 1: songs um. And it's somewhat of beat and you're like,
Speaker 1: like one of the one of the lyrics talking about
Speaker 1: how his father died and the priests is uh talking
Speaker 1: all these great things about him. He's like, you're a
Speaker 1: bastard in life, you saw you're a bastard and death.
Speaker 1: It's a great line. And then I'll like them trying
Speaker 1: to send his ashes out and it falls back into
Speaker 1: his eyes. He was like, yeah, that's right. Thinks that
Speaker 1: like that level of course, I'm at living things, um,
Speaker 1: but even some old school drake got into my playlist
Speaker 1: at one point. Um, and of course the Jimmy world.
Speaker 1: There are several several songs that I would just angrily
Speaker 1: singing and then then if you are like that was
Speaker 1: kind of several. That was one of my first concerts,
Speaker 1: what about you. I think I have a ton of
Speaker 1: sad sad songs, but I don't really have too many
Speaker 1: that I would go to after a breakup. But I
Speaker 1: have songs that if I listen to them, I will cry,
Speaker 1: um because that music is really moving in that way. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: music is powerful and I think that's why people connect
Speaker 1: so hard um with sad songs. Yeah. Yeah, if anyone
Speaker 1: wants my playlist, I have a playlist grief and I
Speaker 1: will share it if anyone wants it. But they'll make
Speaker 1: you cry. Yeah, and you know what if you don't
Speaker 1: want that, we have some advice on how to like
Speaker 1: not cry, not necessarily maybe that's not true. We have
Speaker 1: some advice for you, but first we have a quick
Speaker 1: make and we're back, thank you sponsoring. So we do
Speaker 1: have some advice. Even though a lot of you have
Speaker 1: probably heard this, we've all probably heard a lot of
Speaker 1: the basic one, and find a hobby is a big one.
Speaker 1: You've sort of talked about that. Exercising, eating well, um,
Speaker 1: sleeping as best you can, talking out with friends, reading
Speaker 1: a book, volunteering, taking tiny steps to make yourself feel
Speaker 1: normal again. And this is a big one. A lot
Speaker 1: of that. Spurts recommend on following your ex on social
Speaker 1: media and and removing reminders of them from your life.
Speaker 1: Stop all contact if possible. I'm gonna. I actually just
Speaker 1: looked up my ex and stuff the other day because
Speaker 1: I was in the conversation and we're talking about past whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I wonder what he's doing. Not
Speaker 1: a good idea, No, actually, I was kind of like, huh, surprise, interesting, interesting,
Speaker 1: And I think I'm gonna especially if you're in a
Speaker 1: really bad place and then you start comparing your life
Speaker 1: to theirs. Oh no, don't do that, don't do it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I still meet up with my ex, and I regularly
Speaker 1: thought to me, to me, like my exes or my
Speaker 1: past they go into the land of nowhere and to
Speaker 1: me just disappear, They disappear and never hear like I'm
Speaker 1: of course, I just talked about stalking, but I would
Speaker 1: never ever ever want to run into them. I never
Speaker 1: wanted to see them. I'm like, they shouldn't exist. So
Speaker 1: coming back to my like your friends with them, that's here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm the opposite is healthy, right, I'm yeah, I never
Speaker 1: look at the Well now it's not that I never do.
Speaker 1: I'm just not on social media that much much anyway,
Speaker 1: So I just don't run into that problem, not often.
Speaker 1: But I do see him in real life. I r
Speaker 1: l um, and sometimes it does make me sad, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, we used to be so close, and I
Speaker 1: feels sort of awkward. Um, but you think about like
Speaker 1: you kind of loose friendships to Yeah, sure you know
Speaker 1: you got your gone them. Yeah, it's just just how
Speaker 1: life is. Um. One big one is doing some introspection. UM,
Speaker 1: ask yourself what it was that you liked about that
Speaker 1: person and if you can find those qualities and someone else.
Speaker 1: This is easier to do a bit later in the
Speaker 1: grieving process. Um. But you know, you you have those
Speaker 1: moments of I hate that person, I hate everything about them,
Speaker 1: but there was something, hopefully that you were attracted to,
Speaker 1: and maybe that's an unhealthy thing, right, Maybe it's a
Speaker 1: healthy thing, but maybe it's unhealthy, but finding out what
Speaker 1: it was. It's always you know, it's always a learning experience, right,
Speaker 1: you can you can move on and bigger and better things. Um, okay.
Speaker 1: And then writing about it, making art about it, using
Speaker 1: it to create Yeah, I write a lot more when
Speaker 1: I'm sad. I will say that to allow yourself to feel,
Speaker 1: be honest with yourself. And if that's you need to
Speaker 1: cry a little bit, or you have to sit and
Speaker 1: watch the same movies repeatedly, that's fine. If you just
Speaker 1: want to sit in the dark for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: that's okay too. But eventually, yes, you do need to
Speaker 1: shake it off. That's when the Taylor swift comes out.
Speaker 1: And always good to communicate with the support group in
Speaker 1: your life what's going on so that they can help
Speaker 1: you and provide that support. And of course the unpopular
Speaker 1: but true time time heels most wounds. It makes, it
Speaker 1: makes things easier, hopefully hopefully event Chili um that positive note.
Speaker 1: That's what we have to say about heartbreak today. But
Speaker 1: I am really excited to share some listener mail that
Speaker 1: we received. Yes, Kate wrote, although the most wonderful time
Speaker 1: of the year is over Halloween, as a fellow horror fan.
Speaker 1: I thought I would send you some recommendations just in
Speaker 1: case you need more. Always send recommendations. UM One Cut
Speaker 1: of the Dead. It is on shutter UK, not sure
Speaker 1: if it is on the US version. It is a
Speaker 1: zombie comedy. The first half hour maybe a little confusing,
Speaker 1: but stick with it is great to watch with a crowd. Also,
Speaker 1: if you like zombie movies and haven't already seen it,
Speaker 1: Trained Busan is great one of my favorites. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a good one. I sobbed at the end. Terrified again
Speaker 1: and on shutter UK. A Spanish language movie that I
Speaker 1: found unsettling, to say the least. Knives and Skin. I
Speaker 1: saw this at fright Fest this year, UK horror film festival.
Speaker 1: Isn't strictly horror, but has twin peak vibes and has
Speaker 1: been described as a feminine noir. Yeah. I really loved it.
Speaker 1: Looks like it's not available until December. I know you
Speaker 1: like the superhero genre. In case you also like manga,
Speaker 1: I highly recommend the TV series Attack on Titan, a
Speaker 1: horror fantasy show. I often think about whether the horror
Speaker 1: genre is a feminist genre. Women are always telling men
Speaker 1: there's something out there there's something wrong, and the men
Speaker 1: are consistently gaslighting them, ignoring their concerns. Before too long,
Speaker 1: everyone's dead apart from one final girl. Maybe the true
Speaker 1: horror is the patriarchy. Horror movies would be over in
Speaker 1: five minutes if people listen to women. Hello. Yeah, You
Speaker 1: start thinking about all of the things that could have
Speaker 1: been solved why, and then you have to be oh,
Speaker 1: because the movie would not be a movie, right. We
Speaker 1: would have no horror movies. What I find interesting is
Speaker 1: that it is mostly men making horror movies, but yet
Speaker 1: they don't seem to learn from what I think is
Speaker 1: the key message of the movie, Listen to Women. There
Speaker 1: are some good podcasts on horror. You are interested, just
Speaker 1: suggesting a couple She Kills, which ears horror through a
Speaker 1: female lends, and The Evolution of Horror, which explores all
Speaker 1: the different horror genres and how they developed as you
Speaker 1: grew up with the screen franchise. You might be interested
Speaker 1: in this eight minute documentary called Copycat, which suggests it
Speaker 1: may not be as original as everyone thinks. Oh. I
Speaker 1: love all of this. I love the suggestions. Um please
Speaker 1: keep this coming. And another listener wrote in with some
Speaker 1: different suggestions. Kim wrote after listening to feminist movie Friday
Speaker 1: Alien addition, I am mailing in I'm a thirty four
Speaker 1: year old woman who enjoys lots and lots of horror movies,
Speaker 1: feminist horror movie plot lines to think about Last House
Speaker 1: on the Left. This is so graphic trigger warning for rape,
Speaker 1: et cetera. Parents Getting Revenge, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Final Girl
Speaker 1: survives because she doesn't do stupid stuff. Midsummer Hereditary, The Descent, Everything,
Speaker 1: the which female liberation lived deliciously. I spent on your
Speaker 1: grave revenge graphic, questionable Halloween. Sorry, Laurie does everything to
Speaker 1: survive and kill her nutty brother, which makes her badass.
Speaker 1: Who cares if she's a virgin Jennifer's body for that matter,
Speaker 1: anything Diabo Cody Ever wrote for Film Night of the
Speaker 1: comment zombie fighting Valley Girls, It's can't be but great
Speaker 1: The Craft Marianne, which is new on Netflix. Also, you
Speaker 1: mentioned Ripley being the start of strong female characters like Buffy,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't help but think of Linda Hamilton as
Speaker 1: Sarah Connor. She was one of the baddest of the
Speaker 1: badasses post Alien. Thanks for covering anything hard. I feel
Speaker 1: like we ladies don't get fair representation, will weighing in
Speaker 1: on reviews or being part of this community. You're welcome
Speaker 1: and I will happily do so always. Cam later followed
Speaker 1: up with more suggestions after Our Monster, Our Female Monster episode,
Speaker 1: uh misery, Caffy bates the audition certainly harbor perhaps also
Speaker 1: just considered Asian extreme high tension, which is French hand
Speaker 1: that rocks the cradle. Um single white female swim fan
Speaker 1: the crush. That's yeah, big genre, evil dead. All the
Speaker 1: women are possessed by demons and made to do evil
Speaker 1: g things. This was a choice by Raymie Say Raymie
Speaker 1: Sharp Objects. Also the short from Tales from the dark
Speaker 1: Side movie Um also this movie sucked, but it's worth
Speaker 1: mentioning Knock the Neon demon Starry Eyes. A woman moves
Speaker 1: to l a trying to get her big break. She
Speaker 1: was willing to do anything. She spirals and kills all
Speaker 1: of her terrible roommates and then turns into an alien
Speaker 1: after totally riding and falling apart. I can't remember this
Speaker 1: title helped me. I have seen that movie. I'll get
Speaker 1: back to you about that. What I remember what it is?
Speaker 1: Um Eyes without a Face, which is a black and
Speaker 1: white French monster movie. I can see this influence later
Speaker 1: in other horror movies. So if you wanted some suggestions
Speaker 1: for horror, these listeners got your cover right. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. I've only seen like two of those the
Speaker 1: bottom list. I've seen those. I've seen a lot of them. Yeah, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. Well you've got some fun homework today. And
Speaker 1: then you and I because she mentioned and they both
Speaker 1: mentioned a lot about like mothers m You know, I
Speaker 1: talked about that previously. Some shoutouts to different podcasts that
Speaker 1: we want to highlight because they're amazing and led by
Speaker 1: women or females. Um, the scam Wow, which is super fun,
Speaker 1: Sue and Cat. Sue and Katie talk about different scams
Speaker 1: including and I didn't listen to the one the wedding
Speaker 1: industry and poop TI and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: like that. Um. And then there's also to go with
Speaker 1: our heartbreak. This is why I'm single. With Amy and
Speaker 1: Amy and sometimes Chuck. They talk about the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: and the worst relationships and all the way from divorces
Speaker 1: even to boobs. You know, I love anything that talked
Speaker 1: about any of those things. Well, there you go listeners,
Speaker 1: and if you have any suggestions for things we should
Speaker 1: shout out horror movies, we should be watching our next
Speaker 1: feminist movie Friday. I know there's been some talk of
Speaker 1: the craft. Please right in. You can do so at
Speaker 1: our email address, which is Stuff Medium, mom Stuff at
Speaker 1: iHeart media dot com. You can also find us on
Speaker 1: Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram at Stuff
Speaker 1: I've Never Told You. Thanks as always to our super
Speaker 1: producer Andrew Howard, Thank you, and thanks to you for
Speaker 1: listening Stuff I've Never Told You the protection of I
Speaker 1: Heartradius house Stuff works. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows