Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the show Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always
Speaker 1: so much for tuning in. What is the weirdest thing
Speaker 1: you have ever done to impress someone? And that's part
Speaker 1: of what we're exploring today. Hi, my name is Ben.
Speaker 1: Hey Ben, my name is still Know. I'm having a
Speaker 1: hard time putting my finger on the weirdest thing I've
Speaker 1: done to impress anybody. I'm pretty vanilla when it comes
Speaker 1: to impressing people, like you mean, like a date or something,
Speaker 1: or just kind of showing out for your peers or
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm apparently a name dropper. I've been
Speaker 1: doing that a lot, and that that's not doesn't go
Speaker 1: overwell most of the time. But that's probably the weirdest
Speaker 1: thing I do to impress people, and it never works
Speaker 1: because they find it grading and uh, completely self aggrandizing.
Speaker 1: So I'm really working on stopping doing them. On that note,
Speaker 1: I talked to Elvira last night, and yeah, she's as
Speaker 1: cool as you would think. Let me tell you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta say no, I have your back and most
Speaker 1: things in general, and uh, you know, since this is
Speaker 1: a history show, I'll admit my own personal rap sheet
Speaker 1: of uh well intentioned but ill delivered flexes is pretty extensive. Uh.
Speaker 1: There's one person who always flexes on this show. That's
Speaker 1: our super producer, Casey Pegram flexing. That producer muscle there
Speaker 1: he is, Uh you the sound cubes and all. And
Speaker 1: as you will recall long time listeners, a while back,
Speaker 1: we dived deep into the idea of historical flexes and
Speaker 1: luckily we got two people much cooler than us to join.
Speaker 1: We've actually convinced these people to join us on the
Speaker 1: show today. You know them as the host of the
Speaker 1: Daily Zeitgeist. Welcome back to the show, Jack O'Brien and
Speaker 1: Miles Gray. Thank you guys so much for coming back
Speaker 1: to flex a little bit more. That is the sound
Speaker 1: of me flexing. Weirdly, just love getting some blood into
Speaker 1: my muscles. Flex it up a little bit, pump as
Speaker 1: it were. No better exercise than sitting at a desk
Speaker 1: gapping into a microphone. Oh yeah, I have covid neck.
Speaker 1: My my neck has gotten fatter than it was and
Speaker 1: that's something that I've been very acutely aware of because
Speaker 1: of all the low angle shots on Zoom. Yes, are you?
Speaker 1: Are you? Developing bad posture. Are you developing a slouch?
Speaker 1: Is it like taco neck? Or your neck is always
Speaker 1: to the side a little bit. Now now it's just
Speaker 1: like a little layer of fat underneath my neck because
Speaker 1: I'm getting older and because I'm eating way worse than
Speaker 1: I'm not leaving the house. So that's why I think
Speaker 1: grow in this beard to cover cover my covid neck.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a podcasting malady, which is podcaster
Speaker 1: but where you're gluteus muscles atrophy at a rate so rapid.
Speaker 1: Most scientists are baffled from all of this hitting um,
Speaker 1: and I've used this time to like strengthen them. Well,
Speaker 1: as soon as they cracked the whole covid uh, you know, epidemic,
Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll get right on solving podcast but I
Speaker 1: think that's it's a close to Yeah. I also like
Speaker 1: how Miles you pointed out most scientists imply and therefore
Speaker 1: that there are a couple of luminaries in the field
Speaker 1: of the podcasting malady and its effect on the butt muscles. Uh.
Speaker 1: Speaking in fantastic segues, we have asked you our brothers
Speaker 1: and podcast arms to help us illustrate. Some were historical flexes.
Speaker 1: Long time listeners, you'll recall that the last time Miles
Speaker 1: and Jack joined us on the show, we learned some
Speaker 1: things that uh frankly haunt me on a personal level.
Speaker 1: And uh we also left the show thinking this is
Speaker 1: just scratching the surface of the weird. So today we
Speaker 1: return to look at some more historical flexes. No, no,
Speaker 1: how would I think we did a pretty good job
Speaker 1: in our previous episodes. How would we define an historical flex? Well,
Speaker 1: Urban Dictionary defines uh to flex, meaning to boast or
Speaker 1: show off about something, and the phrase weird flex but
Speaker 1: okay has sort of become an Internet parlance that is
Speaker 1: a sort of dismissive response to when somebody proudly boasts
Speaker 1: or brags about something that most people would find, um,
Speaker 1: you know, either ridiculous or not cool at all, or
Speaker 1: kind of irrelevant or just weird. I always love the
Speaker 1: Urban Dictionary. Um little italicized examples. Uh, this one here
Speaker 1: says girl one, I'm dating my friend's dad. If we
Speaker 1: ever get married, I'll become her step mom. Response, weird
Speaker 1: flex but okay. Uh, that's an elaborate weird flex. It's
Speaker 1: beautiful too, because you can apply it. I mean, many
Speaker 1: of our episodes in Ridiculous History could be uh dismissed
Speaker 1: with a weird flex but okay, that's sort of the
Speaker 1: nature of the show. But we're going a little deeper
Speaker 1: and trying to really highlight some individuals that are showing
Speaker 1: out and showing off in in bizarre and and kind
Speaker 1: of inexplicable ways. Yeah. So, uh, we had talked affair
Speaker 1: about some flexes, and one thing that's pretty exciting about
Speaker 1: it is I think we're all going to surprise each
Speaker 1: other maybe a little bit. Uh. Now we are at
Speaker 1: the point where we're gonna spend this episode sort of
Speaker 1: trading stories of weird flexes. Now, Jack Miles, you are
Speaker 1: the you are the guests, and you're you know, honestly
Speaker 1: the reason most people are tuning in. Uh, let's be
Speaker 1: honest about that. So self deprecation is also a weird flex.
Speaker 1: Let me there we go. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we
Speaker 1: agreed to this show because you said we'd get way
Speaker 1: more listeners because all this is to our show, so
Speaker 1: it's worth it for us. So I'm bad. I'm glad
Speaker 1: you gave us the opportunity to So that's a two ways. Thanks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think this is coming out just after Mother's Day. So, uh,
Speaker 1: thank you to all the moms in the crowd listening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: number one fans. Uh so god, we have so many
Speaker 1: weird flexes. Who would like to do the honors? You know?
Speaker 1: I propose that Jack or Miles would be It would
Speaker 1: be one of you guys, because Nolan I have As
Speaker 1: he said, we're inundated with weird flexes. We have no
Speaker 1: idea what's a normal flex now on on this show.
Speaker 1: I am happy to to start us off. I don't
Speaker 1: really I I just have one. We're gonna spend my
Speaker 1: whole time talking about one person. But before we get
Speaker 1: into his specific weird flexing, I want to ask you, guys,
Speaker 1: how tall would you guess? If you're assuming you don't
Speaker 1: know this fact, how tall would you guess? Uh? Stalin
Speaker 1: was so I feels like a trick question because I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: based on his actions, I feel he's a little guy,
Speaker 1: and then I'd also believe, like, wait, he was tall
Speaker 1: and still like that, I'm gonna say five six. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he seems like a stocky Napoleon complex. He kind of dude,
Speaker 1: but that could be the ruse here. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: five five. I'm just you know, and one penny just
Speaker 1: to spread the board. I'll go five eight. I thought
Speaker 1: he was a tall person. He was five four or
Speaker 1: under five four, um, so he was. He was a
Speaker 1: small person. So one of the weird ways that he
Speaker 1: flexed on history was through photoshop. Before the invention of photoshop,
Speaker 1: he UH would just delete people who he had had
Speaker 1: killed or who he had sent to prison and no
Speaker 1: longer was homies with UH. He would delete them from pictures.
Speaker 1: And this was of course before the long before the
Speaker 1: invention of photoshop. So he would just use his immense
Speaker 1: power to you know, reach out to a bunch of
Speaker 1: the best UH photo artists and just have pictures manipulated
Speaker 1: and touched up until all the people he wanted to
Speaker 1: be out of the picture, we're out of the picture.
Speaker 1: And also he would have the pictures manipulated so he
Speaker 1: looked tall. By the way, we've we've had to take
Speaker 1: a bunch of selfies just because we always do photographs
Speaker 1: with with every episode that we put up of The
Speaker 1: Daily Zeigeist. And I've always made sure to shoot myself
Speaker 1: from a low angle, looking like I'm looming large in
Speaker 1: in my selfies. But h that was something. So Stalin
Speaker 1: had a whole staff, a whole nation of people working
Speaker 1: on that to make him look tall and also to
Speaker 1: make him look handsome. And it worked on me because
Speaker 1: I would have guessed if I if I had been
Speaker 1: asked that question, I would have guessed he was like
Speaker 1: over six ft tall. He just struck me as a
Speaker 1: big guy, and the fact that he was a small
Speaker 1: man is surprising to me. So that's one of the
Speaker 1: weird flexes. Is just kind of inventing photoshop to look
Speaker 1: cool and also destroy his enemies and to really erased
Speaker 1: them from history. Is uh, my first weird flex. It
Speaker 1: makes me think, you know about that film The Death
Speaker 1: of Stalin, which I thought was pretty solid, right you
Speaker 1: guys remember that one? How do they do that? I'm
Speaker 1: so interested. There's no photoshop. This guy will literally have
Speaker 1: you and your family killed if you don't airbrushed him out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: get the mustache right for sake, you know, someone didn't
Speaker 1: use the last so tool. And I mean he was
Speaker 1: he had like really a pockmarked face. He was not
Speaker 1: a great like he had like a withered left arm.
Speaker 1: But so there was a lot of work to be done.
Speaker 1: There were people who were inventing photoshop tools with like
Speaker 1: exact o knives and erasers and like charcoal uh many
Speaker 1: many years ago, and you know, just sweating with a
Speaker 1: gun barrel at the back of their neck, probably really
Speaker 1: quickly to bring in super producer Casey pegram Um. Casey
Speaker 1: is a bit of uh not not a bit of
Speaker 1: a giant cinephile. And also, you know, photography buff. I
Speaker 1: wonder if you have any thoughts on some of those
Speaker 1: kinds of techniques like I took up you know, photography
Speaker 1: class in college and using dark room, you can definitely
Speaker 1: like use filters and things to superimpose images and then
Speaker 1: print them onto new you know, photo paper. And I
Speaker 1: wonder what you would think maybe some of the early
Speaker 1: photo manipulation techniques around this time might have looked like yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean photography has always kind of had that that
Speaker 1: level of manipulation possible in the development process when you
Speaker 1: talk about dodging and burning and things like that, and
Speaker 1: being able to use, you know, just physically manipulate images,
Speaker 1: cut things together, pace some match the lighting, really do
Speaker 1: your homework. I don't know. To me, it's fascinating that
Speaker 1: like the skills that would have brought you to Stalin's
Speaker 1: attention in the Soviet Union are now just like kids
Speaker 1: making memes on like talking stuff Like it's really um,
Speaker 1: it's really strange the historical disconnect there. I just want
Speaker 1: to say one other thing. There's a documentary that came
Speaker 1: out last year called State Funeral that is all just
Speaker 1: documentary footage of Stalin's funeral, um, no voice over anything.
Speaker 1: And it's actually pretty pretty fascinating to look at just
Speaker 1: thousands of people in mourning for this guy who was
Speaker 1: kind of terrorizing them, but they're all sort of having
Speaker 1: to perform this act of mourning. I think it's gonna
Speaker 1: be on streaming later this month if anybody wants to
Speaker 1: check it out. Well, it's also a form of Stockholm
Speaker 1: syndrome where like you know, the people like if you
Speaker 1: watch Death of Stalin, like the people that were in
Speaker 1: his inner circle on the one hand, wanted to supplant
Speaker 1: him and wanted to like take power, but they were
Speaker 1: so scared of him, and that fear almost manifested itself
Speaker 1: in a weird reverence. But it is literally like he
Speaker 1: is a terror, he is a absolute nightmare, but they
Speaker 1: sort of kind of love him too. It's it's a
Speaker 1: very yeah, And there's this weird moment where, you know,
Speaker 1: the very they have the public viewing of Stalin's body
Speaker 1: in the in the casket and you can sort of
Speaker 1: see the reaction shots of people looking at him. It's
Speaker 1: like they're looking at him really close to make sure
Speaker 1: he's not just like in there. But still I really
Speaker 1: really want to make sure that dude is dead before
Speaker 1: I say what I have to say or whatever. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they could also uh case some point, Uh,
Speaker 1: dictators and authoritarians might flex by fake in their death
Speaker 1: to see if anybody is out of pocket when they
Speaker 1: think that person is dead. I wouldn't have been particularly
Speaker 1: elaborate for Stalin, as we're going to get to he
Speaker 1: he loved to go to the ends of the earth
Speaker 1: and just really elaborate lengths to just embarrass people. And
Speaker 1: uh yeah, he was very petty. He was a very
Speaker 1: petty man. I'll get into some of the ways he
Speaker 1: was petty. Uh with my next weird flex miles, why
Speaker 1: don't you take us away from st oh Man. So
Speaker 1: I you know, last time I was talking about how
Speaker 1: people were just like ripping apart like mummies for fun
Speaker 1: and being like ha ha, rich people gathering on this
Speaker 1: mummy and see what's inside. Let's this beautiful culture shout
Speaker 1: out to England. So this whole thing I got me thinking.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, flexes or can be a number
Speaker 1: of things, and I think, uh flippantly, I'll also say
Speaker 1: things are reflex when they're just so excessive. Uh. And
Speaker 1: this flex uh in history, I would say, is a
Speaker 1: tale of flex sssive violence. Um. And it comes from
Speaker 1: Olga of Kiev. And I first heard about Olga of
Speaker 1: Kiev because she's like she occupies the space of being
Speaker 1: kievan russ like the sort of historical or the the
Speaker 1: cult ancient culture that a lot of Russian and Ukrainian
Speaker 1: people and many people in that area sort of point
Speaker 1: to that they descend from. Um. And I studied Viking
Speaker 1: history in college, and there's this a lot of talk
Speaker 1: of how the Norse were part of this group and
Speaker 1: that's why there's you know, these sort of Scandinavian features
Speaker 1: are got there because there were these uh, these Norse
Speaker 1: people that were there, and it was believed that this
Speaker 1: woman Olga was actually of Norse origin. So she's like
Speaker 1: also like a saint in the Orthodox Church. And I
Speaker 1: believe also like she sainted in Norse culture as well
Speaker 1: as Saint Helga, and she earned her saint hood with
Speaker 1: how flexcessive she could be with her revenge. Now, she
Speaker 1: was married to a king named Igor who was basically
Speaker 1: you know. He was going around pulling up to different tribes,
Speaker 1: this one being the Drevelans and said, hey, like, look, man,
Speaker 1: I can you know you guys just bowed out to me. Okay,
Speaker 1: like just bowed out. You know, see how big my
Speaker 1: army is. I can just I can just run the
Speaker 1: board right now, So just give it up, uh and
Speaker 1: I'll keep it moving. They pay their tribut beute, and
Speaker 1: for some reason he felt that halfway through he was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, this isn't enough. This isn't enough. So
Speaker 1: he goes back and demands more. But that time he
Speaker 1: went with a smaller force of men, and he was
Speaker 1: actually killed by the Drevelans. So after this they come
Speaker 1: to his widow, which is uh Olga of Kiev, and
Speaker 1: they say, hey, you know, well we got this great idea. Okay, look,
Speaker 1: clearly you have no king. I guess you're in charge
Speaker 1: because the next in line is like a baby. So
Speaker 1: you are now the ruler, Um, why don't you, you know,
Speaker 1: just mould this idea over for a little bit. We
Speaker 1: think that you should marry the guy that killed your husband, uh,
Speaker 1: and unite them and just bow to the drevelans and
Speaker 1: just kind of let them know, like all's good, you're
Speaker 1: loving it. Um. So they send twenty men to sort
Speaker 1: of like coax her into this. And this is where
Speaker 1: you begin to see how this uh, this particular ruler
Speaker 1: thinks she's This is what she says, according to like
Speaker 1: the records that were kept, she says, your proposal is
Speaker 1: pleasing to me. Indeed, indeed, my husband cannot rise again
Speaker 1: from the dead, but I desire to honor you tomorrow
Speaker 1: in the presence of my people. Return now to your
Speaker 1: boat and remained there with an aspect of arrogance. I
Speaker 1: shall send for you in themorrow, and you shall say,
Speaker 1: we will not ride on horses, nor go on foot,
Speaker 1: carry us on our boat, and you shall be carried
Speaker 1: in your boat. So the next day they get there,
Speaker 1: they say the thing that people are like lifting up
Speaker 1: the boat and they think, oh wow, we're like being honored.
Speaker 1: This is so cool. Like they're walking our boat through
Speaker 1: the town and like into into Olga's court. I've got
Speaker 1: a bad feeling about this miles where they promptly take
Speaker 1: this boat full of dread and dump it in a
Speaker 1: trench that she had been digging since the day before
Speaker 1: and buries them alive. So she pulls up while they're
Speaker 1: being buried. According to the written records, she quote inquired
Speaker 1: whether they found the honor to their taste as they
Speaker 1: were as they were being like suffocated and soil very saintly.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but we're not done, babe, because we're talking
Speaker 1: about flex essive violence here. So I love flexssive by
Speaker 1: the way, I know. I just I'm just freestyle here.
Speaker 1: This is what I'm coming up with. So then she
Speaker 1: sends a message back to the Drevelans saying, you know what,
Speaker 1: I love this proposal about marrying this guy. I am
Speaker 1: so down for this because keep in mind that they
Speaker 1: wouldn't have gotten word back quickly enough, right, Like they
Speaker 1: didn't know what I'm swearing, like I'm on your show.
Speaker 1: We can't swear on our shop. Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 1: holding back, so I was gonna ask what it make sense?
Speaker 1: But now there was no way they would have known.
Speaker 1: They would have been completely in the dark, they would
Speaker 1: have sent a whole another cadre of like cannon fodder,
Speaker 1: you know, because they were thinking, hey, this is our
Speaker 1: moment we can they're in a weekend position, will make
Speaker 1: her the queen and you know she'll be one of
Speaker 1: our you know, subjects. So she basically, i'd imagine within
Speaker 1: the moment she's even saying like yeah, yeah, let's have
Speaker 1: a boat party, dig the trench. She's probably okay, send
Speaker 1: somebody now and say we love it. And so the
Speaker 1: proposal gets to the dread leans and saying, hey, you
Speaker 1: know what, if it's what you say it is, we
Speaker 1: love it. Um and she she says, but this time,
Speaker 1: I need you to send your most distinguished men, like
Speaker 1: the rulers of all the fiefdoms, like to show, like
Speaker 1: I need to show my people if I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: get marched off to marry that guy that killed my husband,
Speaker 1: that's gonna be a hard sell for my people. So
Speaker 1: please get the finest gentleman and leaders and luminaries to
Speaker 1: come and take me. So then my people it will
Speaker 1: be more palatable and this will be more of a
Speaker 1: peaceful transition. And so they're like, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Let's do that. So the most distinguished men come and
Speaker 1: she has her subjects greet them and say, hey, you
Speaker 1: know what, the Queen just wants to let you know
Speaker 1: before she receives you for this lavish feast. We've actually
Speaker 1: prepared bath for everybody. So we just love for you,
Speaker 1: like we have these garments. Please just clean yourselves up
Speaker 1: before you, you know, meet with the queen. It would
Speaker 1: be a great honor, and we want to, aren't. I
Speaker 1: got a bad feeling about this mile bath was a
Speaker 1: big deal, right, yeah, So these the most distinguished men
Speaker 1: of this rival tribe go to take their bath. Guess what,
Speaker 1: the doors locked behind them and they burned the whole
Speaker 1: place down with them inside. So now she's eliminated all
Speaker 1: of their most distinguished governors thinkers in one felt just
Speaker 1: like boom done, knocked it out, And so she's thinking like,
Speaker 1: this is great. So it's not. It's not a flex
Speaker 1: for the sake of flexing. It's a strategic flex, which
Speaker 1: I really appreciate. Yes, um, but you know what, She's
Speaker 1: just not done there yet. So she sends another message, Wait,
Speaker 1: this is all happening at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's in a span of like maybe a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks or something. This is like the scene in Godfather
Speaker 1: when Michael just takes everyone at the same time. She
Speaker 1: has complete control of her environment. She sends another message says, Hey,
Speaker 1: I want you to, quote, prepare great quantities of meat
Speaker 1: in the city where you killed my husband, that I
Speaker 1: may weep over his grave and hold a funeral feast
Speaker 1: for him end quote. So then she pulls up to
Speaker 1: the city where he is killed, having to this big party.
Speaker 1: They already think, oh wow, she's cool, she's agreed to it.
Speaker 1: She's coming by herselves. She's like, I guess this is
Speaker 1: like a small advanced team that shows up. They get
Speaker 1: there to Egor's tomb, she did actually weep. They do
Speaker 1: have a feast. The Drevelyan sit down and get drunk,
Speaker 1: and then we have a I guess like red Wake
Speaker 1: type situation where her men then go and just slaughter
Speaker 1: every drunken dreve Lean person in there. The written records apparently,
Speaker 1: but this is you know, this is back in the
Speaker 1: ninth century saying about five thousand Drevelans were killed that
Speaker 1: night at that feast at the hands of her men
Speaker 1: because she had basically set the whole thing up to
Speaker 1: just pull up when everyone was very very drunk. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: and sadly she's not done or I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: for great for this story, she's not done yet. I'm
Speaker 1: loving every minute of it. And she's like, we're going
Speaker 1: back there. I'm not done with them, you know, and
Speaker 1: maybe I killed basically everybody, but she's like, I just
Speaker 1: need to crush them for what they did. So she
Speaker 1: gets there, she lays seeds to this city where her
Speaker 1: husband was killed, and it lasts like a year because
Speaker 1: there's just a lack of like there, it's positioned well,
Speaker 1: they just can't penetrate their putting up a good fight,
Speaker 1: and she's like, man, like this is actually this is
Speaker 1: taking a while. So she goes to them and says like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, like why are you just like why do
Speaker 1: you guys keep holding out like we can kind of
Speaker 1: like everybody I crushed every other city, but you guys
Speaker 1: are insisting on this, Like why don't you just lay
Speaker 1: your arms down, give me tribute, and like let every
Speaker 1: let's get back to normal. Hey, let's get Drevlyn's working again. Huh,
Speaker 1: let's get this economy back on. Don't just yeah, you're
Speaker 1: crushing them with this siege. Please, So they say, hey,
Speaker 1: look the reason we're like, we would rather submit tribute,
Speaker 1: but the problem is just based on your track record,
Speaker 1: we feel like this is the only way we're gonna live.
Speaker 1: So we would have took the tribute option. But you know,
Speaker 1: at this point, we took a lot of else and
Speaker 1: we didn't expect it. So we're at it of an
Speaker 1: abundance of safety. We're saying, please just give us one moment.
Speaker 1: So she says, okay, look, I don't mean to like
Speaker 1: labor this. I'll just say this. Just give me a
Speaker 1: small offering and I get it. You guys, we've been
Speaker 1: it's a siege for a year. You probably have a lot.
Speaker 1: Just have for every household in this city. Give me
Speaker 1: three pigeons and three sparrows. That's all I want. Just
Speaker 1: give me that on six birds per house. Nothing big.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, fantastic, like really flexes within flexus. She's like,
Speaker 1: just give me some birbs. Just give me those birds
Speaker 1: and I'm out of here and we're good. I get it,
Speaker 1: Like put a bird on it. She's like, I killed
Speaker 1: everybody basically here. She's like, I've killed the man who
Speaker 1: killed my husband, plus countless others. I'm you know, I've
Speaker 1: had my fill. Just give me the birds and I'll
Speaker 1: be on my way. And just give me the birds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're ecstatic. I remember this part of the story. This
Speaker 1: is epic, this is so good. I'm with Jack. I
Speaker 1: have a bad feeling about this. Yeah. So she's like, yeah, great,
Speaker 1: So they bring the birds out there, like, okay, cool,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna take off. Guys, We're gonna take off
Speaker 1: it probably after like we're probably gonna sleep and nightfall. Anyway,
Speaker 1: don't worry about us. We got the birds. Thank you,
Speaker 1: will be on our way. So she's not done. She
Speaker 1: tells her soldiers for every bird, attach a piece of
Speaker 1: sulfur uh to their like foot and a piece of paper.
Speaker 1: And then she said, actually, you know what, set those
Speaker 1: pieces on fire and release the birds, because she knew
Speaker 1: instinctively they were all gonna fly back home. So she
Speaker 1: said about these little, you know, early fire bombs back
Speaker 1: into the city and burned the mother down. As the
Speaker 1: Primary Chronicle, which is the historical text from back then,
Speaker 1: it says, quote, there was not a house that was
Speaker 1: not consumed, and it was impossible to extinguish the flames
Speaker 1: because all the houses caught fire at once, and then
Speaker 1: she dropped the mic. Ben, how do you even conceive
Speaker 1: of something so a so clever, be so diabolical, ce
Speaker 1: so effective, Like, I just want to know what you think?
Speaker 1: You know you've heard come on way in my boy,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think Biles is the one who
Speaker 1: identified with this the most strongly. I mean that's a
Speaker 1: that's a flex also when you when you think about it, um,
Speaker 1: you know, to your point, Miles, like we have to admit,
Speaker 1: like there is the primary chronicle, but uh, so much
Speaker 1: time has passed? Was really five thousand? Yeah exactly? But
Speaker 1: this actually, this actually happened. I mean, to me, the
Speaker 1: craziest thing is, uh, fighting fire will fire is not
Speaker 1: a good term, but uh fighting bird fire bird fire. Guys,
Speaker 1: I'm floundering here, but I mean those are early you know,
Speaker 1: heat seeking fire bombs that she created out of pigeons.
Speaker 1: It's just that there's so she it's so it's such
Speaker 1: a masterfully planned out onion revenge onion where every layer
Speaker 1: somehow makes you cry harder and harder doll of misery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think that's why for me, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: obviously this could be a revenge or whatever. But I
Speaker 1: think truly a flex is too. It's just also an
Speaker 1: outsized show of force or power or whatever, just because
Speaker 1: you can even And that's what it's like. The other
Speaker 1: phrases just doing the most and olga in this case, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: you might, you might. You could have relaxed a bit
Speaker 1: doing the most here. You didn't have to go with
Speaker 1: the pigeon and have them feel safe only to have
Speaker 1: them come send this thing back. But but the beauty
Speaker 1: of this whole thing too is how idiotic was it
Speaker 1: for these people to believe that she was totally chill
Speaker 1: with the fact that they had murdered her husband, and
Speaker 1: that all of this was just some silly broad being
Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, totally malleable to your manly whims
Speaker 1: or whatever, you know what I mean, Like, I think
Speaker 1: that's what it is. I mean, you can only imagine
Speaker 1: what misogyny is like. In nine eight and for for
Speaker 1: for for the record, I was saying some silly broad
Speaker 1: I was playing the deadly and I was not, okay,
Speaker 1: just making that you're playing the role of Noel brown Off. Mike.
Speaker 1: This is this is probably one of my favorite weird
Speaker 1: flex stories in terms of the sheer amount of blood
Speaker 1: lust and letting that goes into it. I'm surprised this
Speaker 1: hasn't been dramatized in like a film. This is so good.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's definitely some red wedding vibes, but this in
Speaker 1: and of itself could be a whole movie all into itself.
Speaker 1: I love it so much, definitely like some seriously George r.
Speaker 1: Arm we figured it out, uh, Noel as uh colleague,
Speaker 1: get a friend. I do have to point out that
Speaker 1: I feel like, at least part of why you're so
Speaker 1: pro this flex story is because of your abiding extreme
Speaker 1: hatred of birds. So like I saw your eyes light
Speaker 1: up when you learned that the birds were catching on fire.
Speaker 1: Now weird moment. Now that's not entirely fair, because in
Speaker 1: this story the birds are kind of the good guys.
Speaker 1: I I was actually was like, yeah, go birds, burn
Speaker 1: those misogynist douchebags alive in their homes. But also, to
Speaker 1: be fair, there were probably some women and children that
Speaker 1: got totally incinerated as mostly mostly yeah, because all the
Speaker 1: able bodied men were the ones that have been sent out,
Speaker 1: so they came home to uh an inferno. Probably they
Speaker 1: probably hadn't even gotten back yet, and they came home
Speaker 1: to like their entire world just in ashes, you know,
Speaker 1: doing the most. No you've got You've got some flexes
Speaker 1: as well, right yeah, mine are like way more innocuous,
Speaker 1: which I think we definitely need. Right now, Do you
Speaker 1: guys remember that Harvey Dangerous song Flagpole Sit Up? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I mainly associated now as being the theme for
Speaker 1: a peep Show, which is one of my favorite British
Speaker 1: comedy series of all time. It's just like super Hands
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite characters ever, and it's just
Speaker 1: it holds up so well and it's infinitely rewatchable. And
Speaker 1: if you guys haven't seen it listeners, I highly recommend
Speaker 1: you check it out. Um. But yeah, flagpole Sitter by
Speaker 1: Harvey danger is referring to a historical phenomenon known surprise
Speaker 1: surprise as flagpole sitting. So I think people when they
Speaker 1: think of the twenties, they think of you know, prohibition
Speaker 1: and bootlegging and flappers and speakeasies and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: But um, there was a really odd kind of spectator
Speaker 1: sport I guess you could call it that really uh
Speaker 1: caught the public's imagination by storm Um in the nineteen twenties,
Speaker 1: and that was something called flagpole sitting, and it's in
Speaker 1: a burst of creativity. Has Ben would say exactly what
Speaker 1: it sounds like someone climbs up on top of a pole,
Speaker 1: a flagpole or otherwise could be an antennae, I guess,
Speaker 1: but a flagpole is a little more sturdy and doesn't
Speaker 1: taper quite as much, so that would make the most sense.
Speaker 1: Um And builds or a seats kind of a very
Speaker 1: small platform with a chair on top of the flagpole
Speaker 1: and then shimmy's their way up and sits on the flagpole. Uh.
Speaker 1: It started in in y'all's neck of the woods in
Speaker 1: Hollywood in January of nineteen twenty four. A gentleman by
Speaker 1: the name of Alvin ship Wreck Kelly was employed by
Speaker 1: a local movie theater to help advertise for a movie
Speaker 1: premiere and they paid him. He was a stuntman um
Speaker 1: And or a daredevil I guess you'd call him, and
Speaker 1: they paid him to sit on top of this flagpole, uh,
Speaker 1: in order to kind of draw crowds because it was
Speaker 1: gonna be kind of an oddity. People would be like,
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on with this guy on
Speaker 1: this flagpole. Let's check it out. Oh a movie. So
Speaker 1: I guess that's the way that that was thought of
Speaker 1: by the you know, the promoters or whatever. Kelly was
Speaker 1: from New York. He got his name because he claimed,
Speaker 1: uh pretty spuriously by most accounts, to have been a
Speaker 1: survivor of the Titanic. Um that's where, that's where, that's
Speaker 1: where he got shipwrecked from. So he's already a little
Speaker 1: bit of a P. T. Barnum kind of huckster type
Speaker 1: fellow um, but he definitely has some skills, and he
Speaker 1: starts this kind of fad that really takes the entire
Speaker 1: country by storm. For this this publicity stunt. He sit
Speaker 1: up there for thirteen hours and thirteen minutes, and the
Speaker 1: newspapers pick it up and kind of start spreading the word,
Speaker 1: and he genuinely sets off kind of a national craze,
Speaker 1: and other people start doing it, and even kids start
Speaker 1: daring their you know, schoolyard buddies, like see how long
Speaker 1: you can sit up on this flagpole. Obviously there's different light,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a range of flexes in terms of
Speaker 1: how high the poll is. You know, there would be
Speaker 1: like an amateur version of it um. There were even
Speaker 1: people that would practice, like on trees in their backyard,
Speaker 1: but it really became a thing. There was somebody, uh
Speaker 1: named Bobby Mack who was from l A who sat
Speaker 1: up on a flagpole for three weeks, and then someone
Speaker 1: and Joe holding Powers sat up there for sixteen days
Speaker 1: in Chicago in I feel like this is your way
Speaker 1: of rubbing our face and how stupid our city is
Speaker 1: by being like it seems like a vary l a
Speaker 1: specific weird flex. Hey, you guys eat dirt. It's pretty cool,
Speaker 1: you know it's it's it's where dreams are made and
Speaker 1: also crushed, as we will get to at the end
Speaker 1: of the story, which is a little bit of a bummer,
Speaker 1: but not nearly as much of a bummer as your
Speaker 1: story made. Also, dreams are key stirred on the top
Speaker 1: of a flagpole. Also true. Also, yeah, it's it's sort
Speaker 1: of the early form of podcast. But yeah, right, so
Speaker 1: I'll go on. But where where where are you guys
Speaker 1: at with this? How do you think this story is
Speaker 1: going to progress? Do you think it just fizzles? Is
Speaker 1: it going to be? Like I mean, it sounds like
Speaker 1: something so easy that like if you start this thing
Speaker 1: of like, okay, I can do that, Like you're basically
Speaker 1: how long can you sit? Because once you eliminate like
Speaker 1: the height aspect, it's like how long are you willing
Speaker 1: to like go to the bathroom on yourself? A bunch
Speaker 1: in a chair? Wait? Is it a chair? Though? Are
Speaker 1: you sitting on on the ball? Like isn't the end
Speaker 1: of a flagpole just like a rounded object? That's what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to imagine. They put a little seat on it, right,
Speaker 1: they put a little seat on it, like a circus
Speaker 1: platform kind of, you know. So and this this this
Speaker 1: this guy's shipwreck Kelly Um. He did this stunt in
Speaker 1: New York as well. And the reason that it got
Speaker 1: it became like a really serious source of income. Form
Speaker 1: he was making at one point between a hundred and
Speaker 1: five hundred dollars a day in nineteen twenties money, which
Speaker 1: is serious, serious it was it was because advertisers would
Speaker 1: pay him that, or promoters would pay him that, because
Speaker 1: the people would uh set up viewing parties and viewing
Speaker 1: areas on like high rises and rooftops where you'd pay
Speaker 1: a nickel to sit around and watch this guy sitting around. Um,
Speaker 1: but he would uh that you know, he you might
Speaker 1: see him, you know, reading the newspaper. There's a really
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of really great iconic photographs of him
Speaker 1: that remind me a lot of those images of you know,
Speaker 1: workmen building the Empire State Building sitting on those bars,
Speaker 1: like with their lunch pails and stuff. Yet, yes, exactly
Speaker 1: he had patrons um but he Uh. Eventually the Great
Speaker 1: Depression hit and people didn't have disposable incomes anymore to
Speaker 1: drop Nichols for for giggles, to watch this guy sitting
Speaker 1: around shaving on this platform. And he ended up like
Speaker 1: a lot of people that we talked about on the
Speaker 1: show that have a very niche kind of skill, penniless
Speaker 1: and alone, um and and and ultimately died of a
Speaker 1: heart attack. And they found under his arm, uh in
Speaker 1: the place where he died a scrapbook of all of
Speaker 1: the newspaper clippings of his his time in the as
Speaker 1: a as the champion flagpole Sitter. I take issue with
Speaker 1: the idea that my story was more of a bummer
Speaker 1: than hearing about this guy in his last days clutching
Speaker 1: the memories of his professional career, sitting down. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna call it I'm gonna call I'm gonna say, Olga
Speaker 1: of Kiev, Uh doing the most coming, Uh sue to
Speaker 1: HBO and uh flagpole sitting coming soon to Pixar's pix
Speaker 1: are formula heartbreak. Right there, I was just looking. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just as you said this. All I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of, like, how do they go to the bathroom?
Speaker 1: How did they go to the bathroom? How do they right?
Speaker 1: And then I'm like reading that he had like a tube.
Speaker 1: He would just turn away from the crowd and you're
Speaker 1: innate down a little tube into a bucket down at
Speaker 1: the pace of the pool. We've all been there, you know.
Speaker 1: I was thinking that this was so beneath us, that like,
Speaker 1: this is how people were entertained back in the day.
Speaker 1: But this is basically what David Blaine did for a
Speaker 1: couple like that. There were he sat up in a
Speaker 1: I think he was like in a glass cube for
Speaker 1: a while and people were just like, wow, he's really there.
Speaker 1: He's not going anywhere, and at one point he was
Speaker 1: upside down. That's definitely a flex. It's weird too, because
Speaker 1: you have to wonder what would happen if someone did
Speaker 1: that now, like if someone tested at Pennsylvania and they
Speaker 1: were like, I'm going to protest by sitting on the
Speaker 1: top of this flag for a for a while. And
Speaker 1: they'll be like, oh, what are what are you doing?
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm just gonna sit there if you do.
Speaker 1: You guys have any nickels or you know, ad right, advice.
Speaker 1: That's funny that you say that, Ben. It actually has
Speaker 1: made somewhat of a comeback in protests. There was a
Speaker 1: pole sitting protest associated with the Dakota Access Pipeline back
Speaker 1: in uh. Um, so it is sort of a thing
Speaker 1: that people still do as kind of a sit in
Speaker 1: or sort of like hey, look at me. It definitely
Speaker 1: like raises you up and just you know, literally for
Speaker 1: people to see so they can see you know whatever,
Speaker 1: you're your cause look at me. And I disagree with
Speaker 1: this thing that is happening. Wod love it because I'm
Speaker 1: sure you look really tall on a flagpole as I
Speaker 1: think I'll have my dinner on my to go to
Speaker 1: access pipeline for the record, the worst death ever. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's like I'm remembering. Uh nickels for giggles is what
Speaker 1: I wrote down for that windoll. That's pretty stuck with me. Also,
Speaker 1: what did you say? It was like a hundred hundred
Speaker 1: five dollars hundering what per day he was making up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: up to which, which which also makes me kind of
Speaker 1: like annoyed that he clearly piste all that away because
Speaker 1: that's serious coin and for him to have died penny
Speaker 1: less means he was probably not super smart with his money. Roum.
Speaker 1: So you know, just putting that out that was like
Speaker 1: six thousand, five hundred dollars a day. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know what he did with it, crushing it? I know, right? What? What?
Speaker 1: What's also? What were you doing with that cash during
Speaker 1: the depression? Buying hard rock candy? I think just rock
Speaker 1: candy and cans of beans and bindle stakes. I believe
Speaker 1: that's not funny for me to make that joke as
Speaker 1: we're heading into another depression, will but presumably, But I
Speaker 1: mean it didn't hit till twenty nine, so he was
Speaker 1: living fast in the twenties. On his six grand a day.
Speaker 1: He had a gilded flagpole. And how weird is it
Speaker 1: that we might be calling that when the first Great
Speaker 1: Depression a little two topical for a history ship and
Speaker 1: the new flagpole sitters because we sit professionally. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was just gonna say that his top sponsors were actually
Speaker 1: Stamps dot Com and Blue Apron Casper mattresses, Casper, think
Speaker 1: about it, there are flags on the stamps guys, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be a really good publicity son first, Casper,
Speaker 1: just like put a mattress on top of a flagpole
Speaker 1: and just lay on that thing, you know, and definitely
Speaker 1: like pole layer. Once again, time has gotten away from us. Uh.
Speaker 1: This is going to be the first part of a
Speaker 1: two part episode. Uh, Casey, how how how's it going
Speaker 1: so far? Would you say? I would say, you know,
Speaker 1: the halftime report, Um, people are coming with some really
Speaker 1: strong flexes. I'm just interested to see what's gonna come
Speaker 1: up in the second half. We gotta we got a
Speaker 1: really good match here. I love the I love the
Speaker 1: announcer vibe. All right. Well, uh, first off, anytime, any
Speaker 1: time that we can impress you, then I know we're
Speaker 1: on the right track. I'd like to go ahead and
Speaker 1: let's let's make this our outro for the first episode.
Speaker 1: We'll do the usual. Thanks as always to you, Casey Packham,
Speaker 1: Thanks of course to uh my co host Noel Brown.
Speaker 1: Thanks of course to Jack O'Brien, Miles great daily Zeitgeist.
Speaker 1: Let's see you know who we usually think this part
Speaker 1: of the episode, casey, that is true. Let's see we
Speaker 1: got Christopher Hascious here in spirit. Uh, he's Jeff Cote.
Speaker 1: We've got uh, let's see who am I leaving out?
Speaker 1: Oh god, this is too terrible. Wait wait, hold on,
Speaker 1: gave Luizier, our our research associate. Uh, we got Jonathan Strickling,
Speaker 1: the quister who will probably be crashing our zoom party
Speaker 1: pretty soon, who also wanted leaving out. Then well we
Speaker 1: got we got Alex Williams, who composed the theme song
Speaker 1: that is tickling your ear dums right now, nailed it
Speaker 1: And of course ridiculous historians thanks to you. Uh. Please
Speaker 1: let us know some of your favorite weird historical flexes.
Speaker 1: You can find us on Facebook, you can find us
Speaker 1: on Twitter, you can find us on Instagram. Uh, and
Speaker 1: tune in for the next episode because it only gets
Speaker 1: more ridiculous. We'll see you again real soon. For more
Speaker 1: podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.