Speaker 1: What up, fucker's check out this bonus episode of Guys
Speaker 1: We Fucked. We're gonna play you an excerpt where we
Speaker 1: read emails from suckers with subject lines such as I
Speaker 1: had a threesome with my best friends stalker and is
Speaker 1: there a hot way to pull a wat of hair
Speaker 1: out of your pussy? It's a really fun one chock
Speaker 1: full of information that you need for your everyday lives. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did steal that from all that come and fucking
Speaker 1: sue me. Anyway, if you want to hear more episodes
Speaker 1: like this, we're doing two a week right now through July.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go to Luminary Podcasts dot com. You're gonna
Speaker 1: sign yourself up for Guys We Fucked. A whole year's
Speaker 1: subscription is only thirty five dollars and they have amazing
Speaker 1: content from other great creators like Roxanne Gay and Russell Brand.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna read a bunch of emails for this episode.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if it was a bonus episode
Speaker 1: or or Friday one korem, but um, we got an
Speaker 1: email from a woman who um was pretending that Pete
Speaker 1: Davidson was in the room with her, like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a in this episode that we recorded from
Speaker 1: the beach. Yeah. Yeah, okay, So every time ever since then,
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about that email, and I've been doing
Speaker 1: it with Andrew Cuomo. Oh my god, I like talk
Speaker 1: back to him when he's doing the news. Wow, it's
Speaker 1: kind of fun. Yeah, he is cute. Chris. I don't
Speaker 1: get people. I don't get people's crushes on Chris Cuomo.
Speaker 1: But Andrew Cuomo I can see. Yeah. Wait, which, wait,
Speaker 1: maybe I mean Chris the news anchor. Yeah, No, Andrew
Speaker 1: is the news anchor, Chris is the political Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: well the yeah, the news anchor. Cuomo. I mean they're both,
Speaker 1: they're both great. But it's such a safe thing because
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't even give. I don't just the
Speaker 1: idea of, like go out on a date. Just I don't.
Speaker 1: That's so far away, that's like miles away. I just
Speaker 1: don't know, and I just don't care, Like I don't
Speaker 1: even have any desire to put any energy to it.
Speaker 1: But I do have the desire to pretend to celebrities
Speaker 1: my fake boyfriend in my home when I want him
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, I mean people's people. The ways people's
Speaker 1: mental health and energy is right now, like it's not
Speaker 1: a good time. Things actually keep getting worse than worse,
Speaker 1: So I definitely wouldn't advise, even though I do see that.
Speaker 1: I do see the Black Lives Matter protests, even though
Speaker 1: a lot of people had a dian hainous manners to
Speaker 1: get there, I do they see it as a positive. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: that's go yes. The fact that this is finally on
Speaker 1: a fucking international level of attention. Um, do you want
Speaker 1: me to read the first email? Sure? Okay, the subject
Speaker 1: line is sleeping with a criminal. I'm horning. Hey, Christina
Speaker 1: and Karin, I hope you're both staying safe during this madness.
Speaker 1: First Off, I love you girls. You two are the best.
Speaker 1: I just recently started listening to your podcasts uh some
Speaker 1: years behind. Okay, point to make you guys are still awesome.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to skip over the nice things. Thank you
Speaker 1: for writing them. It's not that I don't want to
Speaker 1: read them. I'll read them later. I'm twenty five years
Speaker 1: old and have only had one boyfriend. We dated for
Speaker 1: three years. We were both virgins, but the last month
Speaker 1: before our breakup we finally had sex. Oh shit, weird? Wait?
Speaker 1: Oh weird? Uh It wasn't I mean weird in a
Speaker 1: in a weird way, not in a bad way. It was.
Speaker 1: It wasn't great, It wasn't great, and I didn't see
Speaker 1: the point of it all. I kind of just wanted
Speaker 1: to get it over with and see what everyone was
Speaker 1: talking about. But glad, but kind of glad it was
Speaker 1: over and done with. Within the next four months, my
Speaker 1: number went from one to eight. Hell yeah. I listened
Speaker 1: to the podcast throughout the time and it definitely helped
Speaker 1: me feel like what I was doing was okay, and
Speaker 1: then I was not a slut, thank you. Since breaking
Speaker 1: up with my ex, the whole dating or kind of
Speaker 1: sleeping around thing is new to me. I've been using
Speaker 1: dating apps and I found a guy who really got
Speaker 1: a hold on me and confusing me with what he wants. Backstory,
Speaker 1: he's a criminal, just on house arrest for drugs. That's boring.
Speaker 1: Yea yeah, boo uh. He is twelve years older than me.
Speaker 1: Here we go, now we're talking, and is living at
Speaker 1: home due to his house arrest. Is that what the
Speaker 1: reason is? Wow? This, this, this has just taken so
Speaker 1: many ups and downs in one sentence. Living at home
Speaker 1: to me is so much worse than being a criminal. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: not even a question. At first, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: have sex with him and not have any commitments. However,
Speaker 1: over time I grew feelings for him, and I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. It has been seven months now
Speaker 1: that we have been seeing each other basically once a week,
Speaker 1: sleeping together, of course, and I asked him last week
Speaker 1: to date me exclusively, just come out with a baby,
Speaker 1: this meaning more than a hook up, less than a relationship,
Speaker 1: but both of us not pursuing others, so relationship. He
Speaker 1: said he doesn't mind if I talk to other guys
Speaker 1: because he wants me to be happy. He just wants
Speaker 1: for him, He just wants to um. We also barely
Speaker 1: text and never really talk about anything real because he's
Speaker 1: a thirty seven year old criminal who lives with his mom.
Speaker 1: There you go. I feel like he keeps me around
Speaker 1: because I am better than nothing. Well you're better than him, well,
Speaker 1: you know, especially during this quarantine time and his house arrests.
Speaker 1: I feel like he just sent a lot of mixed signals.
Speaker 1: He says he likes, he likes, and my feelings are
Speaker 1: being reciprocated. I'm assuming he likes me, yet he hardly
Speaker 1: gives me the time of day. My family does not know,
Speaker 1: for they would totally kill me and then they would
Speaker 1: be the criminals. And my friends who know the story
Speaker 1: think he's just manipulating me and using me for sex,
Speaker 1: streaming me along ding ding ding. Word goes to your friends.
Speaker 1: He is about to have his ankle brace cut yourself.
Speaker 1: So I'm scared. So I'm scared to see what will
Speaker 1: happen If you were in my position, what would you do?
Speaker 1: Never talked to him again? Would you have dropped him
Speaker 1: because it seems like he doesn't have feelings. Yes, do
Speaker 1: you think he has feelings, but it's just not in
Speaker 1: the right state stage of life since he has been
Speaker 1: on lockdown. No, I just want to know your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Sorry for this essay, I hope to hear back. By
Speaker 1: the way, he's she's extremely hot in parentheses eight point
Speaker 1: five and I bet he's a criminal and I am
Speaker 1: a solid five. I'm sure you're five. This is another
Speaker 1: reason I feel like I am just a better than
Speaker 1: nothing situation. Thank you for continuing. Thank you, and continue rocket.
Speaker 1: We don't know fives. Also disclaimer, because we don't hang
Speaker 1: out with them, we don't allow them. Yeah, because that's disgusting.
Speaker 1: Why would you ever look at an ugly person? Um.
Speaker 1: People always rate themselves like lower than they actually are too. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean women do than men go way higher. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I mean I don't have a picture of you,
Speaker 1: but I think if a woman rates herself as a
Speaker 1: five to me, I think that's low self esteem more
Speaker 1: than being honest with yourself. I don't. I just don't.
Speaker 1: I've never met a like, I've never come on also
Speaker 1: anyone like as people like I, you know, have dated
Speaker 1: people like as as much as fifteen years older than me.
Speaker 1: And I dated someone who dated like legitimately one of
Speaker 1: the hottest like celebrities on the planet, and what's someone
Speaker 1: And I would always joke like wow, like how far
Speaker 1: you know the mighty have fallen? And what multiple people
Speaker 1: said to me is like, yeah, she's super hot, but
Speaker 1: like she is the same age as this much older
Speaker 1: like fifteen, she's fifteen years older, so she's like whatever,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, she trumps you in hotness, you make
Speaker 1: up for the fact that you are the type of
Speaker 1: senior years younger. So the same thing is here is
Speaker 1: you're you're still twelve years younger, so you're forgetting like
Speaker 1: the value And this is neither here nor there, because
Speaker 1: I actually don't agree with a lot of the problems
Speaker 1: with aging women in society, but like as society stands now,
Speaker 1: being twelve years younger than a guy holds a lot
Speaker 1: of value. Even if you is more attractive like on
Speaker 1: the books than you like, he has a lot of
Speaker 1: not great qualities. Yes, so I I think here's my
Speaker 1: advice to you, reader, writer, Um you have before you
Speaker 1: go take a second, stop talking to this guy, and
Speaker 1: stop talking to guys for a second, for a little
Speaker 1: bit longer than a second, and really suss out who
Speaker 1: you are. Get to know yourself, make sure you like yourself,
Speaker 1: and if you don't like yourself, what are the qualities
Speaker 1: you don't like? Can fix it and then your self
Speaker 1: esteem will be to the point where you wouldn't even
Speaker 1: be emailing as this because you understand that if you
Speaker 1: want to pursue something with a person and they don't
Speaker 1: want to pursue something with you back, then they're not
Speaker 1: worth your time. It doesn't mean they're a bad person
Speaker 1: if they don't like you, but you will not put
Speaker 1: up with that kind of behavior, with the dancing around
Speaker 1: and then not really saying stuff, and it's it's so
Speaker 1: you're so your self esteem needs work, as most of
Speaker 1: ours do. But uh, I would say that's the main
Speaker 1: issue here. Stop talking to this guy, stop talking to
Speaker 1: all guys. Wrangle yourself in and figure out who you are,
Speaker 1: and then also what do you want out of a relationship.
Speaker 1: Just kind of have those ideas in your head. Obviously
Speaker 1: nothing's going to be exactly what you have in your head,
Speaker 1: but I think it's good to go in with goals
Speaker 1: because we make all these goals about our careers, and
Speaker 1: then the only goal we make about men is my
Speaker 1: wedding dress is going to be so pretty, so you know,
Speaker 1: let's work on that. And you can also skim this email,
Speaker 1: like make a little list of like bad qualities this
Speaker 1: guy has on your own, because like you, there's so
Speaker 1: much here, and a lot of it is you kind
Speaker 1: of like apologizing for him, which we all are guilty
Speaker 1: of apologizing for them if um, heterosexual ladies, but like
Speaker 1: I mean, like you don't really talk about anything real.
Speaker 1: Was honestly the most alarming thing that I found in
Speaker 1: the commercial, because you're twenty five. You're not like if
Speaker 1: you were nineteen and didn't talk about anything real, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, that's fine, you're nineteen, but you're twenty five.
Speaker 1: As you know, we're all on guys. We fund means
Speaker 1: you're officially a real person. Welcome um, and like this
Speaker 1: is just like this is not you want, like, especially
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. You want someone who is enthused to be
Speaker 1: with you, not someone who treats you like a fucking
Speaker 1: second ankle bracelet. That's perfect. Well, I always go off
Speaker 1: of Karen Fisher's rule of some forum self confidence in
Speaker 1: terms of dating. She's she's said on the podcast and
Speaker 1: to me before, if a guy doesn't like me back,
Speaker 1: I'm unattracted to him because you have bad taste And honestly, yeah,
Speaker 1: and if you repeat that to yourself often with somebody
Speaker 1: like this for example, this is great practice. You will
Speaker 1: eventually understand that why would you want to be with
Speaker 1: the guy doesn't want to be with you. You don't
Speaker 1: need to act as your own fucking publicists. Publicists gets
Speaker 1: paid like seven k month, Like, if no one's paying
Speaker 1: you seven k month, you don't need to tell someone
Speaker 1: how great you are, Like that's so fucking ridiculous in
Speaker 1: my opinion. Alfred degrees. Yeah, because I'm like, listen, I
Speaker 1: don't always have the greatest taste in men, but like
Speaker 1: when I date someone like, they like me A lot.
Speaker 1: Uh subject line for you think Yeah. I hope you
Speaker 1: enjoyed this excerpt of a very special bonus episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked. If you want to hear the whole thing,
Speaker 1: as well as our entire back catalog, as well as
Speaker 1: podcasts exclusive to Luminary from other creators like Rock sand Gay,
Speaker 1: Michael Rappaport, and Trevor Noah, go to Luminary Podcasts dot com.
Speaker 1: See you there,