Speaker 1: Welcome to alchemy this. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. What's that?
Speaker 1: He has that? Kevin Pollock? But hey, listen, what's that? Yes?
Speaker 1: A few good men is on too often I can't
Speaker 1: help you, please, though, try to stay with me here.
Speaker 1: Throughout my career, I've been fortunate enough to see my
Speaker 1: fair share of true alchemy. By definition, alchemy is quote
Speaker 1: when a person transforms or creates something through a seemingless
Speaker 1: or seemingly magical process. And my dear ladies and Latin lovers,
Speaker 1: like I said, I've been witnessed to the stuff on
Speaker 1: several occasions. An example, Sure, if you're going to be
Speaker 1: like that, let's see. Okay, the film The Whole nine
Speaker 1: Yard works because of a tremendous ensemble, even though one
Speaker 1: night Big Mike Clark Duncan proved himself to be crazier
Speaker 1: than white pants after Labor Day. But I digress. The point, folks,
Speaker 1: is that it wasn't until the start of this glorious
Speaker 1: new year that an idea hit me square in the
Speaker 1: old Boxer rocks. What if I brought together the right
Speaker 1: creative people forced them to make shut up based on
Speaker 1: my own twisted, demented ideas, then damn it, I would
Speaker 1: offer a podcast of the seemingly magical process, and I'd
Speaker 1: call it alchemy over there, and I'll show you who's
Speaker 1: running things well. After a bit of title tinkering, I'm
Speaker 1: so very proud to welcome you, dear friends, to another episode,
Speaker 1: I'll alchemy this. So let's meet our alchemists in no
Speaker 1: particular order. To say hello to James Heeney, can I
Speaker 1: call you old Doggy? I'm sorry, I just really prefer
Speaker 1: my first name, because otherwise it's confusing. I'm up and
Speaker 1: coming star, Just James. He sure, so glad I could
Speaker 1: get through that question without laughing. Next up, it's Joey
Speaker 1: Cannell out best known I suppose is Joey Greer Joe
Speaker 1: what day's best view? What day's best view? For a
Speaker 1: check up with old Doc Keeney? Oh jesus, Uh, probably
Speaker 1: like a Wednesday, some mid week. Okay, we'll make that happen. Hey,
Speaker 1: how about a gal join in the fray today? That's right,
Speaker 1: it's Vanessa Ragling everybody, But I said, what did your
Speaker 1: darling son surprise you with over the weekend this time? Oh?
Speaker 1: Great question. I think it was a sassy attitude still
Speaker 1: surprising you. Look out, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, why so cheery?
Speaker 1: Things are going well? Yeah? Yeah, last but mudd in
Speaker 1: your eye if you think them leaves. Mr craig Kowski, Craig,
Speaker 1: tell the folks what you do for kicks soccer? That's correct.
Speaker 1: I don't play it, but if I wanted to kick something,
Speaker 1: that would be all right. Let's get to our first scene. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got a theme today that them is crime. See
Speaker 1: number one murder has taken place in the parking lot
Speaker 1: of a late night diner an hour after closing. Two
Speaker 1: small town homicide detectives, craig Kowski and myself, a waitress Vanessa,
Speaker 1: who discovered the body, and some patrons Joey, Chris, James.
Speaker 1: We take you there. Now, take a photo. I'm i
Speaker 1: gonna photo of this, hey, get away from get back away?
Speaker 1: Please you see the tape photos? No photos? Okay? What
Speaker 1: do you what do you see? What do you like?
Speaker 1: What do you don't like about this? I don't like
Speaker 1: anything about it? All right, Well, I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: I noticed right away. Cigarettes still lit. Yeah, that's strange. Peterson.
Speaker 1: You've got you've got a holmesy and I for detail. Well,
Speaker 1: I studied under the grade Holmes. No you that was
Speaker 1: my cigarette that I misunderstood. I thought it was in
Speaker 1: Oh no, I left it there, Yeah, like a holder.
Speaker 1: You thought the dead guy's two fingers would help hold
Speaker 1: your I was taken aback by the whole thing. I
Speaker 1: wasn't thinking clearly. Tell us your name again. You're the waitress. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm also the floor manager. But yes, Turla, how do
Speaker 1: you how do you spell it tu r L A
Speaker 1: H the traditional? Yes? Correct, I'm very shaken. And do
Speaker 1: you remember this particular patron from inside at dinner earlier?
Speaker 1: You know, I do remember that because I as a
Speaker 1: floor manager, I'm very adapted. I remembering people's faces, remembering
Speaker 1: my interactions. He wanted his eggs over easy. I said,
Speaker 1: that's not gonna be a problem. Unfortunately he was the problem.
Speaker 1: He was having eggs late at night. That's correct. We
Speaker 1: start breakfast all day. It's a great manu um, protein
Speaker 1: is good for you. You know. Uh you said it
Speaker 1: ended up being a problem the eggs. Well, yes, not
Speaker 1: on my problem. But Frank in the kitchen he doesn't
Speaker 1: fucking understand things. So I said over easy, and he
Speaker 1: fuked it up. Frankie want to answer to that. You
Speaker 1: know it's oh my god, I speaking for myself. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know you can speak for yourself. I just want
Speaker 1: to warn them they have made the biggest mistake of
Speaker 1: their lives. Do not get your notepads out for this
Speaker 1: attack you're gonna want to take all right. First off,
Speaker 1: if you guys have a hungry late night, come over
Speaker 1: to my house. Went to your house, come over my house.
Speaker 1: I have a house. Alright, alright, alright, alright, statement, do
Speaker 1: you rent kind of kind of move like move around?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Between situations? Right, A little
Speaker 1: bit between a lot of situations, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't feel we're getting a straight answer from me,
Speaker 1: frank Come on, man, let me just tell you what
Speaker 1: are you the cook here? Yeah? Okay? And so when
Speaker 1: the eggs ordered? What was the problem? Well, remember one
Speaker 1: is very interested to hear this, Thank you, detective. I've
Speaker 1: been asking him that as well. My question is always like,
Speaker 1: over what you know what I'm saying? It's like over easy,
Speaker 1: He's like, all right, but over what you know what?
Speaker 1: I mean? You're easy? Is the answer? Can I talk
Speaker 1: to you by the dumpster? For sure? I like Frank
Speaker 1: for this? Do you like Frank for this? So far? Okay,
Speaker 1: I feel so little early. I know it's early, but
Speaker 1: I get hunches. You know me and my hunches. You
Speaker 1: you learned under me, my friend, you're trained done to me.
Speaker 1: There's a couple of other fellas out there that I'd
Speaker 1: like to ask, a couple of how many times my
Speaker 1: hunches probably write down it's Frank? Or how many times
Speaker 1: have we at least framed someone based on a hunch
Speaker 1: that I had no want to say that? So excuse me,
Speaker 1: excuse me, officers detective. We're both detective. My name is Bobby.
Speaker 1: This is my twin brother, Robbie. Um, we saw some things,
Speaker 1: but we're not supposed to not here. We can't be here.
Speaker 1: Bobby and Robbie, though, so are both derivative of the
Speaker 1: name Roberts. So we're both named Robert. Well I was,
Speaker 1: I was. They weren't expecting twins, they only had one
Speaker 1: name preparative. But saw things, but we can't, um really
Speaker 1: tell you because we're not supposed to be outso late. No,
Speaker 1: this is way pastor or curfew. Yeah, I got the
Speaker 1: time of death at four am. So my first question
Speaker 1: would be what were you two kids doing? Eating eating, eating, eating,
Speaker 1: only eating, just eating food in our round in the
Speaker 1: diner outside, well outside the diner. But it was which
Speaker 1: one is Bobby? I'm Robbie. Okay, I'm Bobby. Sure giving
Speaker 1: your problems? Excuse me? Are they giving you problems? These kids?
Speaker 1: Do you remember these two? Oh? Yes, I remember them, Hello, Robert.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, they've been outside scrounging. They're always scrounding. Might
Speaker 1: of course you mean scround you know there's ground and
Speaker 1: groues wet. A good home life? Oh well, I'm very
Speaker 1: very sad to hear that none of us have a
Speaker 1: good home life. Can we all agree, Peterson? Can I
Speaker 1: talk to you about excuse excuse us? Absolutely, I like
Speaker 1: Robbie for this. I like Robbie for this. What do
Speaker 1: you think I'm writing it down? Okay, write it down.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure which one is Robbie to be like
Speaker 1: Robbie for this, it's definitely not Bobby. We can rule
Speaker 1: him out. The officers. Officers, Yeah, frank Um, that's detective.
Speaker 1: Detective Plus So I was thinking, like, why why don't
Speaker 1: we all just get together and live in a in
Speaker 1: a house together? You know what I mean? Frank, can
Speaker 1: you give us a moment, Yeah, sure, before we do. Um,
Speaker 1: what do you mean, Huh, We're gonna try to sell
Speaker 1: you a condo will not it will not amount to
Speaker 1: any day money, and it will disappear. Excuse us just
Speaker 1: for a second, Robby, Bobby, Yeah, I was told you
Speaker 1: were scrounging. Is this something that happens on a regular basis?
Speaker 1: I mean not during the day. We don't try to
Speaker 1: come here get free meal during the day when lots
Speaker 1: of people here, but nobody shops here at night it's empty. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I think between Detective Thompson and myself, you're free
Speaker 1: to say whatever you want. This will not get back
Speaker 1: to whatever parental characters are in your lives at this point.
Speaker 1: All right, then there's no one for us to talk to,
Speaker 1: so really talk openly and freely. Well, we feel like
Speaker 1: we have some leverage here, and you don't have a
Speaker 1: ring on. Do you have a wife? I don't see
Speaker 1: how that's pertinent. You're very observing kid. We need to
Speaker 1: make a good detective someday. Oh I see, Peter, let
Speaker 1: me talk to you for a second by the dumpster.
Speaker 1: I get a different hunch. I like Bobby for this, Robbie.
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be a great detective someday.
Speaker 1: So that's why you're rulling that whole no wedding ring thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, that was very You keep on talking over
Speaker 1: by my beard. I live in this dumpster and you
Speaker 1: keep on coming over. Sorry, what's your name, sir? You
Speaker 1: got yourself a dog? Little dog? That that's the dog's name,
Speaker 1: A little dog, Peterson. Let me talk to you for
Speaker 1: a second. I like a little dog for this. Look.
Speaker 1: I haven't examined the body enough to know if there's
Speaker 1: a dog bite, but I feel strongly that we need
Speaker 1: to get away from your hunches at this point and
Speaker 1: just hear these people loud. Okay, just a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes with Robbie and Bobby. First of all, how many
Speaker 1: times in my hunch just paid off every time? Thank you, Robbie, Robbie,
Speaker 1: we can't see Hey, you guys, uh, you may have
Speaker 1: been the only witnesses as far as I could see.
Speaker 1: Turla and Frank were inside the diner, and you were
Speaker 1: saying you were not inside the dinner. So if we
Speaker 1: saw it happen, if you want it, you saw exactly
Speaker 1: what I mean. It was clear at night. It was
Speaker 1: pretty simple. There's a street light right above here. If
Speaker 1: you had to describe it, how would you do that?
Speaker 1: I won't do it. I won't think. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: do that now without promise of a home. Okay, there
Speaker 1: are laws that govern society. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: noticed that. There's no laws it it's anarchy for us. Yes, hello,
Speaker 1: is this going to affect our health rating? Yeah? No, No,
Speaker 1: we're not health inspectors. Man, who this changes things? I
Speaker 1: feel like your B plus is gonna hold? Oh god,
Speaker 1: I hope so. I don't see a lot of pluses.
Speaker 1: That's good. I know. I asked for it. I actually
Speaker 1: drew it on with the highlight. I assumed. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 1: They don't mind. What's the problem with the dead body? Well,
Speaker 1: no problem with dead body. We're just trying to get
Speaker 1: to what people may or may not have seen. And
Speaker 1: Robbie and Bobbie are suggesting that they did see exactly
Speaker 1: what happened. They probably did. Robert's out there all night,
Speaker 1: and by Robert you mean both of them. And they're
Speaker 1: out there every night. I'm starting to feel yeah, most nights,
Speaker 1: most nights, right, And what is the deal honestly with
Speaker 1: Frank that he doesn't even understand over easy. Well, Frank,
Speaker 1: his father started the restaurant, so that's hence Frank is here.
Speaker 1: You know. It's one of those sort of nepotistics of
Speaker 1: situations of the family, like Alfredo. No, it's a Godfather term. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've never watched that. I don't like scary stuff I like.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's based in the mob, but a lot
Speaker 1: of it is very grounded. There are a lot of
Speaker 1: characters story because I like things with good a lot
Speaker 1: of good character. And I would three, but one and
Speaker 1: two or you know, I'll tell you what. Maybe I'll
Speaker 1: bend it. Start skipping three. Can I suggest you just
Speaker 1: watch one and two and then when you get the
Speaker 1: three doesn't stop. I would start by skipping three. Start
Speaker 1: by skipping three, then watch one, then watch Robby Bobby.
Speaker 1: Can I guess you guys another question? Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: if in fact we could find you at home before
Speaker 1: the sun comes up. We're listening. Mhm. I'm looking at you, Thompson,
Speaker 1: can we live with you? You're looking at me? Do
Speaker 1: you like me for this? You think I did this?
Speaker 1: Son of a bit? Share the one with the Hunters relax,
Speaker 1: get away from the old man's dumpster. Officers found this knife.
Speaker 1: I mean, we have the knife. Bobby held the knife
Speaker 1: as it plunged it into the man's chest. Thompson, Can
Speaker 1: I see you sixteen feet away from the dumpster? Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot a lot of dogs over here. Looks like
Speaker 1: a candle. It's a very old one. Listen, Why would
Speaker 1: they have the night, why would they have the murder weapon?
Speaker 1: Their witnesses of their own murdering. He's a great questions,
Speaker 1: you know who would probably give us answers. Excuse me, Frank.
Speaker 1: Uh the kids up front, Bobby and Robbie. Yeah, first
Speaker 1: of all, Uh would you say they're here most nights? Huh?
Speaker 1: And uh if you found them with a murder weapon
Speaker 1: and a dead body nearby, what would your hunch tell you? Uh?
Speaker 1: Do they got a place to live? You know, if
Speaker 1: they got spotted to live them? Like? That's nice, you know,
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking, like, man, it would be nice to
Speaker 1: go home and Turler. You're saying, don't trust with Frank sis.
Speaker 1: I don't even under stand of Frank sas so, Yes,
Speaker 1: I am saying that, but I mean there's a caveat
Speaker 1: that I'm like I have no idea what he's saying,
Speaker 1: so maybe he's an empty human. Come on, oh, come on,
Speaker 1: I want my money back. I can talk to you
Speaker 1: over here by the dumpster. Okay, I think I'm tired
Speaker 1: of living this lie. What you've killed? A lot of
Speaker 1: people don't know the half of it, but I am
Speaker 1: the half of it. Come over here behind the dumpster
Speaker 1: you want to talk to There's a little more Dad. Here,
Speaker 1: there's a little look what happened? Rightly? A little boy dead.
Speaker 1: Tune in next time to see the further adventure of
Speaker 1: a small town murder by the dumpster. We take you
Speaker 1: now across town here in Peory, Illinois for the on
Speaker 1: air local daytime newscast following the last night's murder. Co
Speaker 1: anchors Chris and Vanessa together, we'll read this news story
Speaker 1: on air about the murder at the diner, which now
Speaker 1: includes the fact that hostages were taken at some point.
Speaker 1: They throw it to a field reporter, James Heeney, who
Speaker 1: sheds further light. Eventually, they break for commercial, joined by
Speaker 1: the voice of the slightly tipsy news director played by Craig.
Speaker 1: From his booth, we hear a little more from the
Speaker 1: field reporter, and then we'll add the gossipy makeup person
Speaker 1: played by Joey. But first let's go to that daytime newscast.
Speaker 1: Is it a Monday? Even worse, it's a murder day,
Speaker 1: Happy murder Day, Peory, Illinois. All was well in our
Speaker 1: small town until blood was shed, and then it got
Speaker 1: worse when more blood was shed. The murder happened at
Speaker 1: the diner, Turla Zone diner. Darlene and I frequent that
Speaker 1: dinner from kind of time after our news coverage. We
Speaker 1: don't need to tell anyone what we do after our
Speaker 1: news coverage. I just feel like it makes it a
Speaker 1: little more personal and therefore we're a little more invested
Speaker 1: in the story. All right, Well, sink your teeth in.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we go out for dinner late at night. Back
Speaker 1: to the facts. They're in a hostage situation. That's right.
Speaker 1: We have a helicopter that the station bought last year
Speaker 1: thanks to a very generous donor. Oh gosh, the helicopter
Speaker 1: is fluttering about above the hostage situation and we are
Speaker 1: being kept abreast of the issue. That's why don't want
Speaker 1: you shoot that over to our man in the sky,
Speaker 1: Bobby Fly. I'm looking down and there's a lot of
Speaker 1: there's a lot of commotion. I can't seem to find
Speaker 1: a place to land my helicopter down there. They keep
Speaker 1: waving me away. I'm a goddamn newsman. I need to
Speaker 1: get in there. Well, Bobby, good luck with that parking.
Speaker 1: Am I right? Monday's darling, and you are as funny
Speaker 1: as you are pretty Oh well, hank you Jim, and
Speaker 1: you are as smug as you are smug and married
Speaker 1: mun fun fun. Speaking of things that aren't fun, there
Speaker 1: was a dead man dog the child's body, and there's
Speaker 1: a dog that is eating the child. Oh, Peoria, we
Speaker 1: weep with you today. Okay, Bobby fly all right. I
Speaker 1: got a place to lend the helicopter. I had to
Speaker 1: shoot them off because it's it's a damn ship storm
Speaker 1: down here. Nobody seems to get away from me. Await, Bobby,
Speaker 1: just go down. I'm going down. I'm climbing down the
Speaker 1: water gutter. I'm almost to the front door of the
Speaker 1: Holy There's there's a child with a knife and he's
Speaker 1: got three grown at doults and they're scared of him.
Speaker 1: Is there a dog currently eating that boy? He's on
Speaker 1: the side. I don't think that matters. Right now, there
Speaker 1: are three living people. There's a dead boy. Yeah. Not
Speaker 1: every day you hear about a dog eating a little boy,
Speaker 1: but there are three hostages inside this diner. I think
Speaker 1: I can I think I could do something. Don't no, No,
Speaker 1: I think I could do something. Bobby, this is Tamith
Speaker 1: the news desk. Do not intervene you're you're also supposed
Speaker 1: to stay in your helicopter. Don't stop landing. The helicopter
Speaker 1: doors unlock. I can get in there right now. Didn't
Speaker 1: let him do it? Okay, okay, And and gentlemen, and
Speaker 1: there's time for us to take a quick little break
Speaker 1: here as we send it to our advertisers. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: what what are you doing? Please refrain from editorializing. We
Speaker 1: weren't editorializing because we're giving our opinion, just gut facts.
Speaker 1: Bobby couldn't find a place to land. What are we
Speaker 1: supposed to do? Stop throwing it to Bobby if he's
Speaker 1: not ready? Okay, why won't you give me an award show?
Speaker 1: I want to do awards show? This is Peoria. What
Speaker 1: awards show? Are you gonna make one? Make an award
Speaker 1: show for her? I've got to get out of this job. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's enough. That's enough powder, thank you, am I
Speaker 1: sure that's enough powder. I've got a cat. I it's
Speaker 1: very nice. I want to shape it up. You don't
Speaker 1: want to shape up the eyes whatever it's. This is
Speaker 1: not Your job isn't to make us into some kind
Speaker 1: of project that you want to see. Your job is
Speaker 1: to make us camera ready. There are hostages out there.
Speaker 1: People look at you, guys, for focus. They look at
Speaker 1: you for guidance, and if you don't look right, if
Speaker 1: you don't look camera ready, then they're not gonna trust
Speaker 1: you to take the scarf off of me. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: a lot of people are talking about your neck, soever
Speaker 1: my chest. The scarf is something that we're we're working on,
Speaker 1: you know, keep the scarf on for now. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying people are talking about your neck. We are getting it.
Speaker 1: We're getting a lot of bad Yelp reviews for about
Speaker 1: my neck. About the next early I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say anything about the neck. The scarf looks great. The
Speaker 1: scarf looks great. Okay, we're back on in five four three,
Speaker 1: Happy death Day, Peoria. That's right. Our situation is still
Speaker 1: develop it. Tim, just let us have fun. Our situation
Speaker 1: is still developing. But this reporter knows that things are
Speaker 1: going to work out because I believe in Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: If everyone in Peoria will join me for a moment,
Speaker 1: he's no proselytizing, Darlene. I wasn't proselytizing Jesus Christ. Okay,
Speaker 1: I believe is that? Are we still on the Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm just in your ear. I think you're the public
Speaker 1: can't hear me? Wait, the public can't. Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: you know news programs work, right, Yeah, we're the number
Speaker 1: three news show and god willing will get to number one.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, you should know this. Tim in the
Speaker 1: booth talks it w bring me into this. Tim in
Speaker 1: the booth talks to us in her ear, and he
Speaker 1: says things and you can't hear him. So we seem crazy,
Speaker 1: but we're not crazy, Tim record, Tim's the crazy one. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go out. Let's check on Bobby. Let's throw it
Speaker 1: to Bobby. Bobby at the din. I've been taking hostach,
Speaker 1: I've been taking the cook seems to be helping the
Speaker 1: small child. I think that he's looking at me, telling
Speaker 1: me to stop talking. I feel like I don't have
Speaker 1: much of a choice but to stop covering this. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: keep the story. He's marching in front of me with
Speaker 1: some sort of some sort of stick with Okay, the
Speaker 1: only way to beat the bully is to be a
Speaker 1: bigger bully. He has a stick. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: a metal stick. It's got like a handle at the
Speaker 1: bottom of it. It's a gun. Is it a gun? Got?
Speaker 1: It's a gun. It's a goddamn gun. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: He's marching back and forth. This is good TV. This
Speaker 1: is good. Unfortunately, we need to take a quick break
Speaker 1: to let you know that if there's a creak in
Speaker 1: your neck, well, we got the best pillows. That is,
Speaker 1: leave the scarf on. Don't take the scarf off, pillows, pillows. Okay.
Speaker 1: I I don't know how many times I can come
Speaker 1: up here, run up to the booth, and run back down.
Speaker 1: It is tiring. Number one. Okay, We'll try to tie
Speaker 1: the scarf on a little bit, doing the best I can. Okay,
Speaker 1: I come to you first with this, Yes, what do
Speaker 1: you want? One? Yes? Okay? That was implied for the best.
Speaker 1: I never know when we're on TV and when we're
Speaker 1: not on TV. When the light is on your on
Speaker 1: the air, it's been on the whole time. The lights always,
Speaker 1: there's always a light on the specific the red light
Speaker 1: that says on air, that's the one you should God,
Speaker 1: why didn't you ever have you been looking at I've
Speaker 1: been looking at my reflection and that's screen. Okay, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's it's a great thank you reflection. Well, yours is
Speaker 1: not bad for noting to him. She's looking straight down
Speaker 1: the barreley camera. Just show you when she says, I
Speaker 1: see my reflection, it's the cam. Okay, do we have
Speaker 1: a problem with that? Thank you for piping up. I
Speaker 1: don't even know your name. What is it that the cameraman.
Speaker 1: That's George, he's been the camera called him for years.
Speaker 1: We call him overalls because he looks like he's wearing
Speaker 1: overalls just the shape of his body has the name.
Speaker 1: It's George. He has a family. Oh you guys, Bobby,
Speaker 1: what is up with that? The thing is, I'm not
Speaker 1: supposed to be talking clearly. The detective Peterson. We have
Speaker 1: the place around them. It's not hopeful. Always know you
Speaker 1: were crazy, Okay, I always know what I think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna you know what, I think I might be able
Speaker 1: to get an interview. I'm really close. Hey Peterson, are
Speaker 1: you two detectives? Yeah, we all thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: recognizing that well, you've got your detective outfit on. Are
Speaker 1: not quieter? Talk quieter? Sorry, we're just hiding you. Bobby
Speaker 1: flying this guy. It's not a big deal. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm from the Theory local News. We know you love
Speaker 1: your work. I'd like to get you always in the chopper. No,
Speaker 1: am I in the chopper right now? I'm not always clearly,
Speaker 1: he's not always in the chopp at Peterson's rookie level stuff.
Speaker 1: But I'm glad that you're here because, as far as
Speaker 1: I know, you've been on the force a long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's all relative. I'm remembering this. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back.
Speaker 1: I have bad news and I have worse news, but
Speaker 1: the scarf the bad. Start with the bad news. Start
Speaker 1: with the bad news. Okay, the bad news is hostages
Speaker 1: are still being held hostage. The worst news is this
Speaker 1: is my last broadcast. Oh my god, where is this
Speaker 1: coming from. I don't feel comfortable up here. I don't
Speaker 1: feel good about myself, and I now early and I
Speaker 1: feel like until I can be a better man for
Speaker 1: myself than I can't be a good man for the people. Okay,
Speaker 1: taking the scarf off, Trevor, get back in there. Well,
Speaker 1: this newscaster thinks that newscaster has a lot more to
Speaker 1: offer than you know. Jim, this car one weird flappy
Speaker 1: neck shouldn't hold you back from you know, telling it
Speaker 1: like it is. And listen, you and I we both
Speaker 1: believe in the same powerful God, and together we can
Speaker 1: get through anything Jesus cares about us. Okay, enough with
Speaker 1: the Jesus get out of my head. There's only one
Speaker 1: guy in this guy I listened to Jesus. Okay, by everybody,
Speaker 1: shut up, shut up, get those dogs in here, bring
Speaker 1: him out. Okay, Okay, I got a stick. It's a gun.
Speaker 1: You're okay, You're okay, buddy, You're okay. But look at me,
Speaker 1: Look at me, Look at me, Look at me, look
Speaker 1: at me. You're okay. Man, Hey, hey, hey, we had
Speaker 1: one mission tonight. We re accomplished that. A right, We've
Speaker 1: hurt people, right, okay, so we're doing good. We're doing good.
Speaker 1: All right. You want to hurt some more people, use
Speaker 1: that looking stick? Guns, use the stick gun. Oh you're
Speaker 1: looking at me and you're giving me orders. Now, Okay, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get up. Okay, okay, shoot me. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: go ahead, do do it, do it, do it? What
Speaker 1: happened here? Don't don't droll the gun man, don't don't don't.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was a drill squad. I can twirl it,
Speaker 1: I can throw what, I can catch it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can whack people with it too. Frank, you dumbuck? Come on?
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, you come on. That was so rude.
Speaker 1: You're trying to kill us. Come on, it's incredibly rude.
Speaker 1: Who else is very piste off the helicopter. Honestly, this
Speaker 1: is the best thing that has ever happened to my career.
Speaker 1: And I would just like, I'm not gonna be able
Speaker 1: to say this publicly, but I'd like to thank you guys.
Speaker 1: It was looking really bad for me. Can I just say,
Speaker 1: just not not as a kidnapper, as a regular person,
Speaker 1: please do? I love to work me. Yeah, I thought
Speaker 1: I was unnoticed. Come on, man voicing the sky Bobby,
Speaker 1: It's like it's so hard to hear me. It's like
Speaker 1: they don't care that there's a helicopter always over my voice. Alright, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: let's get back to business here. Okay, okay, nope, nope,
Speaker 1: this is how it works that let's send up The
Speaker 1: reason why we have kidnapped all of you is because
Speaker 1: we need money. A sad understand. So you need to
Speaker 1: reach out to your parents, to your loved ones, whoever
Speaker 1: it is, ask them for money, and then send that
Speaker 1: money to us via Venmo. That's at Venmo. We haven't
Speaker 1: said that. You know where it is? Where is it
Speaker 1: on the internet? Oh? Smart ass? Huh oh, a smart
Speaker 1: amount of smart ass shit bull ship. Look, if you
Speaker 1: need money, why don't you gotta kick starter? Go? All right,
Speaker 1: everybody just take a moment. Do you all have cell phones? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Everybody has? All right, smarty pants. All right, we're gonna
Speaker 1: wait while you individually call your loved ones ask him
Speaker 1: for as much money as possible. You go first, You
Speaker 1: go first? All right? I had my phone on airplane mode?
Speaker 1: Good luck? Is that the phone in the restaurant? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the restaurant phone. Okay, go i'm ma yeah, it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's Spencer. Oh. I'm being held hostage at the diner.
Speaker 1: I'm being held high hostage at the diner. MA, how'll
Speaker 1: we say hill? We say hi, I got cholesterol. You
Speaker 1: know that the kidnappers say hi hello, and uh they
Speaker 1: want me to get as much money as possible. Ah,
Speaker 1: what did hans into the vent? Should I just flush it?
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, don't flush it, MA, No, you
Speaker 1: flush it down the toilet. It's gonna grow huge and
Speaker 1: live in the sewers. Very scary. Stuff would be scary.
Speaker 1: I need how much you did? You guys need? Sixtus
Speaker 1: eight bucks? Really? Yeah? I got that on me? Give
Speaker 1: it up, give it up, go go, go go. I
Speaker 1: got I just took out some cash at the A
Speaker 1: t M. I got, yeah, I get well dollar, I
Speaker 1: got a tip turtler. But uh, yes, thank you. I
Speaker 1: can give you. Okay, regardless of service. Let me let
Speaker 1: him make that choice. Let him make that service. I
Speaker 1: get sixty bucks, sixty two bucks? All right, we'll take it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Man. Welcome.
Speaker 1: Can I go now? Hello, let's hang out, let's have
Speaker 1: you hang out. Don't flush the hamster? Whatever you do? Okay,
Speaker 1: I just put him in you know, why would you
Speaker 1: do that? Don't put him in the exhaust? Pipe that's
Speaker 1: going to charge me a lot of dollars. Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: hang up, hang up, okay, my I'll talk to you
Speaker 1: later that Yeah, we're gonna focus on another another hostage. Now,
Speaker 1: you don't you don't determine how this host situation works, Okay,
Speaker 1: I just think it should be moved around a little bit. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, fine you Hey, you're a famous guy. You
Speaker 1: probably got tons of dough, don't you tons of Don't
Speaker 1: you get the helicopter? Okay, give us the helicopter. I
Speaker 1: don't know what kind of amateurs you are. I'm a newsman.
Speaker 1: I'm immuned in this situation. I'm covering this. You can't
Speaker 1: rob me. Sounds legit, and I think that's right. He's
Speaker 1: got media community, Yeah, I got media. Otherwise, what would
Speaker 1: happen when people went overseas and like covered wars the
Speaker 1: good shot and kill you can't take mine? It never
Speaker 1: happened because they're just taking pictures and stuff. Why would
Speaker 1: I have thanked you guys for this great career opportunity
Speaker 1: if I was going to pay you. That's a great point.
Speaker 1: Media stop pointing out at me, so stick, how much
Speaker 1: more do you got? You get me? In a lot
Speaker 1: of tips. What do you think none of the food
Speaker 1: came out good? I guess that they blame for that.
Speaker 1: Do they know it was Frank, dumbass Frank in the
Speaker 1: back now they blake Turla you guys, do you mind
Speaker 1: if fight just come right back in my camera? Guys outside,
Speaker 1: and I'd have way better coverage if I got him.
Speaker 1: He's got media immunity. Guys, I'll do back in just
Speaker 1: a minute. Try to get those detectives to intervene too.
Speaker 1: By the dumpster petting all those dogs doing. I don't know, Spencer,
Speaker 1: you think you're running the show. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just thought I was trying to throw the focus back
Speaker 1: on me for a little bit. That's a detective Peterson outside.
Speaker 1: Then Hi, Hey, listen, if we could have a spokesperson
Speaker 1: answer the phone when we call next time, we can
Speaker 1: begin the negotiation. That's who was calling. A spokesperson could
Speaker 1: do it on the phone. He could do it. He
Speaker 1: was good on the phone, was pretty good, Spencer. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I get nervous if I'm not talking to
Speaker 1: my mom. I'll try it. I'll try it, all right,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, all right, Now we just have
Speaker 1: to wait for the phone to ring, and we know
Speaker 1: how it works. Hey, I believe all right, lots of money,
Speaker 1: lots of money, go go go go. Well, I just
Speaker 1: let them ring, let him sweat it out. Answer the phone.
Speaker 1: This is what it's like to work with this guy. Hello,
Speaker 1: Frank's I thought the place was called Turless? What who
Speaker 1: am I talking to? This is Detective Peterson talking to Frank,
Speaker 1: the cook, Frank Armoni, Eddie Christ. Who else is there?
Speaker 1: My buddy Stuts you know what his name is. Put
Speaker 1: them on place because I've talked to you earlier and
Speaker 1: it's just a complete and other waste of time. They
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk to me. They already talked to me.
Speaker 1: I'm nervous. Just talk to him. Talk to him what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, Like how you love cars? Okay, Peterson?
Speaker 1: Who do you? Who do you like? For the kidnapping?
Speaker 1: I like Frank and Stuts? No ship mu hi uh yeah? Hey, hey, hello,
Speaker 1: I got too many calls? Exist student, Yeah, student speaking
Speaker 1: stud This is Detective Peterson. I'm outside with the Detective Thompson.
Speaker 1: They've got a couple of questions for you. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys want what do you want? What's it gonna take
Speaker 1: one second. What do we want that money? Money? Money, money?
Speaker 1: Could you be more? In general? Jesus? How about a number?
Speaker 1: A number? Give me a number. What are we talking about?
Speaker 1: That's my number. You can call me whenever. Uh, A
Speaker 1: thousand dollars that's all you want? I mean, you want
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars? One thousand dollars. I don't know. If
Speaker 1: we don't get that thousand dollars, I'm gonna start off
Speaker 1: in hostages. It doesn't add up. It doesn't add up.
Speaker 1: It's only just one number. It's a federal crime. Could
Speaker 1: they be this stupid? Yeah, it's feds. Oh man, we
Speaker 1: better solve this before the feds get in here. Whenever
Speaker 1: they encroach on a Peoria detective term and an actual
Speaker 1: negotiated with Yeah, all right, Scoots? Is that what it was? Okay? Stoops?
Speaker 1: What I heard? Stoots? With two teas? What's up? That
Speaker 1: sounds like three? Why is everyone calling me? What? Talk
Speaker 1: to me? You got the money? You got the money? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got about nine hundred. Hang up, hang up up,
Speaker 1: holt of what nine dollars dollars? Oh baby, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1: It's a how's it off? What we wanted? Okay, I
Speaker 1: mean we we we shot high? Right? Hold up? See
Speaker 1: if they'll go lower? Okay, can you do seven? Let
Speaker 1: me chan I never seen nothing money? Can we go
Speaker 1: that high? Well? Can we go that move? We were?
Speaker 1: We were as hi. I'm with the FBI. Oh you
Speaker 1: fans coming in here? Who do you Who do you
Speaker 1: like for? Who do you like for the Thompson shooting?
Speaker 1: Who do you like for the Thompson shooting? Well, I
Speaker 1: have a hunch that I'm gonna get this whole thing settled.
Speaker 1: They want seven dollars. You talked to him. I talked
Speaker 1: to them. My hands are in the air. We're supposed
Speaker 1: to shoot them in the head. Don't know what. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm from the FBI. All right, the branch giving the phone?
Speaker 1: Are they on the phone? Okay, guys, I'm Venmo and
Speaker 1: you is seven hundred bucks right now? Oh, we don't
Speaker 1: have a set up yet, we don't. What do you
Speaker 1: said it to? I said it Stutes at venmo dot com? Okay,
Speaker 1: do you already have a Venmo up? You already set up?
Speaker 1: I found a Stutes on there, but there was three
Speaker 1: teas that's how you spell it. But I mean it's
Speaker 1: my picture on it. It's just an egg. That's you.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Then, I don't know who come on
Speaker 1: rows egging around stuts. Frank, I killed my brother sod
Speaker 1: never really feel like I still need a place to live.
Speaker 1: This is my this is my heist, and you guys
Speaker 1: are helpful for Did I kill my brotherther my twin brother?
Speaker 1: That was so messed up? Where do you even come from?
Speaker 1: Good question? Come on? You want to know where I
Speaker 1: come from? Yeah? See dudes, hello, Yeah, tell them where
Speaker 1: you come from? You just started up that PC. I
Speaker 1: come from a block. Oh my god, all the roughest
Speaker 1: part of Peoria. Wow, born and raised. I ain't seen
Speaker 1: nothing good. I've seen all things better. It's been a
Speaker 1: tough time. And when my boyfriend here, he pitched this
Speaker 1: idea to me to murder people in his own dining
Speaker 1: two to try to get as much money as possible
Speaker 1: and get off that. Wait, are you in cahoots with
Speaker 1: Bobby or no? This is I think that's Robbie really.
Speaker 1: Frank said that we would be able to get a
Speaker 1: home if we just fell along. I did say that
Speaker 1: with the record. I did, and I in a way,
Speaker 1: I feel like we're a family, you know, what I mean. No,
Speaker 1: I do know what you mean. I do know what
Speaker 1: you mean. Give me Robbie, Okay, give me hook I
Speaker 1: gotta have never been. It's like, we now take you
Speaker 1: inside of the jury. It se question an attempt to
Speaker 1: render a decision. Okay, guys, we're still we're still locked
Speaker 1: up here. We're gonna have to to reach some sort
Speaker 1: of conclusion. I mean, I think it's fairly cut and dry.
Speaker 1: You know, Robbie killed his brother m hm uh Frank
Speaker 1: and Stuts held hostages at the diner. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know what are those of you who are still
Speaker 1: holding out against conviction, Like, what more proof do you need?
Speaker 1: Everything we're hearing is from the news. Stuff is fake
Speaker 1: fake news. There was footage, There was footage. They were Mike.
Speaker 1: If you played modern day video games, you can get
Speaker 1: footage of anything. You can get. I got footage with
Speaker 1: me and going into March. It's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like it's fair that we're deciding this.
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like that's fair. I'm with your team,
Speaker 1: thank you. I just feel like this is really unfair. Well,
Speaker 1: that's what a jury is. How could we know, Well,
Speaker 1: we're supposed to to the best of our ability. I
Speaker 1: really think the defense attorney proved beyond a shadow of
Speaker 1: doubt that all three guys, which one was that the
Speaker 1: defense attorney, I mean the prosecuting attorney. Well, you've got
Speaker 1: me all topsy turvy, now, okay, Well, you just really
Speaker 1: seem to want to put these people away. I don't
Speaker 1: know what's wrong with you. You get vendetta. Look, if
Speaker 1: you think you beyond a reasonable doubt that these people
Speaker 1: are innocent, then vote that way. But right now we're locked.
Speaker 1: We're locked inn We haven't discussed the why. I haven't
Speaker 1: said much speaking. He's been braiding my hair. I know
Speaker 1: a lot of young kids in here don't understand the law.
Speaker 1: Maybe never been on the other shot, But as someone
Speaker 1: who spent twenty two years behind bars, I can tell
Speaker 1: a guilty face when I smell it. Is that allowed
Speaker 1: to happen? Did you get on this jury? It turned
Speaker 1: out he was innocent. He turned two years though. I
Speaker 1: know the story. You guys don't follow the news. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the hurricane right, exactly like the hurricane, high pressure, low
Speaker 1: pressure cold fronts from all So what do you think
Speaker 1: we should do? I say, we make our own laws
Speaker 1: right now. I like that. This feels good. This we
Speaker 1: make our own law. A lot of pitch did I
Speaker 1: thought it was fun? Dan, aren't the people guilty? What? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The people, all of them. You can make that argument that, yes,
Speaker 1: generally there there's there's problems in society, but specifically for
Speaker 1: this specific crime, the murders and the kidnapping that these
Speaker 1: three men are clearly guilty of. But generally speaking, aren't
Speaker 1: people guilty? I don't know that that's true. I think,
Speaker 1: but most people try to try to be a good person. Um,
Speaker 1: I want to go on the record and say I'm
Speaker 1: not going to pick a side in this. I just can't.
Speaker 1: You got to pick a side one way or the other. No,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm just not gonna pick. I'm gonna pass
Speaker 1: this this piece of paper. You write guilty, you're not guilty.
Speaker 1: Tear it up, cowboy man? Can we use your same paper?
Speaker 1: We played Hangman on? We need more paper. It's okay.
Speaker 1: We can use this and then Dan, maybe you'll read
Speaker 1: the guilty and not guilties. Let's all do curse him. Not.
Speaker 1: Print is better. Print is better because I can't read
Speaker 1: your cursive out, so it should clearly say guilty or
Speaker 1: not guilty, or thumbs up or thumbs down right, or
Speaker 1: just whenever we're guilty or not guilty. Okay, this is crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing this. This is insane. You've been drunk
Speaker 1: all afternoon. Oh my god, now it's about that. Maybe
Speaker 1: I think better when I'm drunk. Oh maybe, Why don't
Speaker 1: we start going around saying, well, crimes we committed before
Speaker 1: we start passing judgment. I'll start when I was fifteen
Speaker 1: years old, I was in accessory to arson. Did I
Speaker 1: start the fire? No? But did I stop it no? Next, well,
Speaker 1: I'll go on record to say I have fudged a
Speaker 1: few things and statements. Um, I signed some paperwork I
Speaker 1: didn't understand and it worked in my favor of a
Speaker 1: aways felt guilty about that. And I did take a
Speaker 1: you know, an animal ones from the fair. But it
Speaker 1: seems so sad. What kind of animal? Was a large one?
Speaker 1: And it seemed so sad, And I just made it happen.
Speaker 1: And I'm proud and ashamed at the same time. I
Speaker 1: know what animal, I know what it was an Why
Speaker 1: do you care? I could like, Oh, just because I drink,
Speaker 1: all right? I have everyone slips, Oh not mine? Um,
Speaker 1: I got one for you. Don't worry. I'll write down
Speaker 1: there you go. Here, here's mine. I took it, mixed
Speaker 1: them up before you reach. Why doesn't mad I don't
Speaker 1: need to shake the hat. We're not playing celebrity. We
Speaker 1: could do that. Okay. Not guilty? Mm hmmm, not guilty guilty?
Speaker 1: This is crazy. I'm not doing this. Let's make our
Speaker 1: own laws. Okay, I just said, right, guilty or not guilty?
Speaker 1: I know who wrote that? We don't know. We don't know,
Speaker 1: all right, it is anonymous, I wrote it. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is a this is a game of hangman. Oh
Speaker 1: that was just our scratch paper. That's not at Okay,
Speaker 1: can you read this cursive? You son of a bitch?
Speaker 1: Who did that? Razor sharp pit? Okay? What's our total?
Speaker 1: I don't I don't even know right now? All right,
Speaker 1: how many do we need to win? Well, it's not
Speaker 1: winning one way or the other. We we need a
Speaker 1: unanimous decision, either guilty or not guilty by all twelve
Speaker 1: of us. Oh you ask him in hello who we're
Speaker 1: still thinking? Oh? Well, time's up. Don't we have like
Speaker 1: unlimited figuring this out? Guys? This is an open and
Speaker 1: shut case, we have footage of these guys holding people
Speaker 1: hostage news man, fake news man, fake news. It's Bobby
Speaker 1: flying the sky. If people can agree, I'll go with
Speaker 1: the group. I have an idea. We need twelve people
Speaker 1: to agree thirty seconds. What if instead of voting, we'll
Speaker 1: use hand gestures. We all clapped together, making some kind
Speaker 1: of rhythmic music, and then once that rhythm is set,
Speaker 1: each one of us will single vocal tune evoking some
Speaker 1: kind of emotion, resonating each one of us. Oh, this
Speaker 1: is an improv game. Okay, cowboy man, if that is
Speaker 1: your name against my better judgment, I'm just curious to
Speaker 1: see how this is going to play. All right, who stops?
Speaker 1: Let's vote on it, everyone right down on a piece
Speaker 1: of who starts? Do we need more paper? Obvious? Can
Speaker 1: we get more paper in here? I got the pa
Speaker 1: we we need about it's tough. Let me just make
Speaker 1: this easier, Dan, What say the jury? Look, we're about
Speaker 1: to take a vote of who's going to start this
Speaker 1: rhythmic clapping? Dan? Dan, let me just cut this straight
Speaker 1: with you. This is the closest I've been to a
Speaker 1: group of people in a long time. And when we
Speaker 1: give them a verdict. They're going to break this party off.
Speaker 1: It was a dancing bear. You stole a dancing bear.
Speaker 1: This is great. We're getting to know each other so much,
Speaker 1: and we're about to all disperse, And where don't we
Speaker 1: ever go to see each other? I will say, I've
Speaker 1: been enjoying the time at the hotel I have. It's
Speaker 1: been really nice, curious, great. I didn't even mind that
Speaker 1: the pool was out of order. I'm not guilty, Matt guilty.
Speaker 1: Well that wraps things up for Priori, Illinois on this
Speaker 1: particular alchemy this I want to thank our alchemists in
Speaker 1: no particular order. James Heeney, what do you got? It was?
Speaker 1: That was really riveting. I was afraid of getting murdered.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I got? I got? Where can
Speaker 1: the fox find you know? It's the real teen Heeny
Speaker 1: on YouTube? You can find me on twitch. I stream
Speaker 1: live Sundays attending am alright, settle down, Vanessa plans for
Speaker 1: the week. Oh none's been a great place. Thank you. Next,
Speaker 1: come by Dynasty type it's still Dynasty typewriter at the Hayward.
Speaker 1: Are we dropping that part? It can be either, but
Speaker 1: the website is just dynasty type right now. I love
Speaker 1: every square inch. Thank you, honey, Joey. You can find
Speaker 1: me at Jebby Grieber on Instagram. That's right. And uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know what my twitters. I think it's not
Speaker 1: Eric Trump, and uh, come check out the West Side
Speaker 1: pretty pretty pony bear supply check it out. Not a
Speaker 1: great show, alright, Craig at cask At on Twitter, you
Speaker 1: might ahead and added an eye. I did add the
Speaker 1: eye just for clarity. And listen to the Craigslist podcast
Speaker 1: where I make my wife listen to my one We'll
Speaker 1: listen and watch my one favorite movies. I love every
Speaker 1: bit of it. Chris Avarado send us up. I want
Speaker 1: to echo what Joys said. Letting gentlemen out there if
Speaker 1: you can and are available, to check out the West
Speaker 1: Side Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. A lot of us
Speaker 1: performed there, do a lot of great stuff there. I
Speaker 1: love myself the West Side Comedy Theater, west Side Comedy
Speaker 1: dot com. That's where I'm sending you. All right, that's
Speaker 1: our show for this week. I want to thank once again,
Speaker 1: sweet sweet Raphael. Somebody cough up this kid's last name
Speaker 1: for free. There you go, breathe, b r I T you.
Speaker 1: Where can they find you? Where can they find him? Anybody,
Speaker 1: somebody decide project. You know what, Never mind, Doug our
Speaker 1: engineer with every year, let's give it up until next time.
Speaker 1: Alchemy there