Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. There time your
Speaker 1: host Kevin Paul. I guess that Kevin Paul. Hey listen
Speaker 1: if you think you can do better? Fine, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're right. There are a lot of podcasts she was from.
Speaker 1: Well listen. If you ever need life of filling laughter again,
Speaker 1: please consider giving us another try and enjoy your yet
Speaker 1: another disturbing true crime podcast. Any but I digress. Let's
Speaker 1: meet our acumisten no particular order, shall we what? I'll
Speaker 1: be a monkey? Hey, you got away from that window?
Speaker 1: Can't you show you? There's a lady man out there
Speaker 1: named Joey Greer. Hello, Justice of girl Land. When you're
Speaker 1: gonna pay me back the six bucks you borrowed? Uh,
Speaker 1: it's James Heeney. I don't know anybody any great gosh Almadia.
Speaker 1: It's Mark Gagliardi MG. Not mcg um. That's true. We
Speaker 1: get confused a lot, right. What was your favorite childhood
Speaker 1: Christmas gift? Uh? When I was a child, I got
Speaker 1: a Minuto album and a keyboard. No, and I could learn,
Speaker 1: And I taught myself some keyboard via the Menudo album.
Speaker 1: That's the greatest gift ever. Right, God, where's video when
Speaker 1: you need next up, It's not really that heavy. The
Speaker 1: one who wears the crown when I'm out of town,
Speaker 1: Cold Stratt, Coleman, Comma Dapney. As a founder of SF
Speaker 1: Sketch Best, maybe you can explain this. What is the
Speaker 1: fucking deal with Joey Greer? You know he submits every
Speaker 1: year tape after tape after tape, and it's mostly him
Speaker 1: just watching TV and you won't program I won't program
Speaker 1: it weird. Right, hold the damn door. There's a lady
Speaker 1: in the who's say hello to returning champ Jen Murray,
Speaker 1: Jen Gary, Jen Ross. How many times do I have
Speaker 1: to tell you? Yep? That's three and last. But may
Speaker 1: all your Tomorrow's arrived way too damn early if you
Speaker 1: think him least, it's James Heney Jimmy jingle all the way.
Speaker 1: M hmm, No, not all the way. It's no longer appropriate.
Speaker 1: It's gone over. The line has not served it well,
Speaker 1: that is also Craig. All right, let's get to our
Speaker 1: first scene. All of today's scene suggestions were gathered from
Speaker 1: our listeners email. If you'd like to submit yours, please
Speaker 1: write to the podcast at your name here at Alchemy
Speaker 1: thist dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this
Speaker 1: dot com. Our first sname comes from Audrey, who wrote,
Speaker 1: Hey alchemists. I was so excited to hear y'all use
Speaker 1: my first suggestion the unaired antiques road show of appraisals.
Speaker 1: That was damn fun. I was so sure it wasn't
Speaker 1: going to be used, but when Cole said my name,
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, fun, another Audrey, before realizing he was
Speaker 1: reading my words. Thank you for the giddiness. And last,
Speaker 1: my new suggestion is this a group of prisoners in
Speaker 1: a medieval castle dungeon, chain to the wall, dangling in
Speaker 1: a cade, strapped to the rack. What have you communicate
Speaker 1: by carrier pige into some anonymous source that claims to
Speaker 1: have a plan to free them. Thank you all, and
Speaker 1: congrats to Vanessa on your precious baby. Stay funny are
Speaker 1: we've got a new one. We've got a new one.
Speaker 1: Get off of me, unhand me scallion, chain me up
Speaker 1: with me as you will. I will speak on all
Speaker 1: man's behalf. Oh it's a political prisoner. We got here
Speaker 1: now bread then people need a bread? And what would
Speaker 1: they do with the bread? Mate? They will eat the
Speaker 1: bread and become strong right, so he vanquish you, so
Speaker 1: you'll cry was being self involved in? Is I too much?
Speaker 1: And other people's business? Right? So you'll be there while
Speaker 1: let's get a quite a shelly fine right over your
Speaker 1: left here is slippy right. I was like, and how
Speaker 1: do you do? What's all they stay? I'm in prison?
Speaker 1: What's all? This? A political prison? They're real blow Jesus right?
Speaker 1: People need bread? Yeah, you keep saying that people need bread.
Speaker 1: You know what these people in ear need. These people
Speaker 1: in Ear need another missive from that carrier pigeon that
Speaker 1: keeps telling us how we're going to get the hell
Speaker 1: out of here. Submissive? What they need? A submissive? Just
Speaker 1: shut up politics, man, Look the pigeons back food, back
Speaker 1: that food. Who can reach his foot? We're go get
Speaker 1: a message from his food? Yeah, I think I'll be
Speaker 1: able to reach with my toes. Nickeled on. Let me
Speaker 1: slide down to it. God, you killed the fucking messenger
Speaker 1: squeeze its organs out of its mouth and the anus.
Speaker 1: That is a mistake. I mean, and you know the
Speaker 1: phrase don't kill the messenger. He literally a messenger pigeon. Well,
Speaker 1: I made a mistake here. Let's fumble through its corpse,
Speaker 1: and there's a letter of interesting tiny words. What he says, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: shall the individuals trapped inside car hots castles. She's talking
Speaker 1: to us queen carts. She locked us old down in here,
Speaker 1: yes she did, because she doesn't want us to have bread.
Speaker 1: We need bread, people, can you can you ask me
Speaker 1: this new guy? What have you got? Celiac? That's good question,
Speaker 1: that one is right? Yes, well, um, bread bread. You're
Speaker 1: running on the bread platform. What if you can't bread?
Speaker 1: What you're doing? In a smart guy? You the university
Speaker 1: for that. I did write, if you can't have bread,
Speaker 1: then did you dingle some bulls? It can be Come on,
Speaker 1: all right, come on, that's just a rumor. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: well look I got a question for you. Yes, what
Speaker 1: the fuck does the letter from the pigeons? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he begged it litter? I offer you an escape, an
Speaker 1: opportunity for freedom, right, And then we reply this is
Speaker 1: back and forth, right, such tiny lettering, let's seed, let's
Speaker 1: because we need to write. And then he writes me writing,
Speaker 1: although I'm assuming it's a he, that could be could
Speaker 1: be a woman, could be an animal. Why would it
Speaker 1: be an animal? I don't know, just assuming right, haven't
Speaker 1: an animal that can write no. But it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that that's out of the question. It could be fucking
Speaker 1: bread too, We don't. Yeah, maybe bread wrote the note.
Speaker 1: Maybe to go with that assumption, written by bread, keep going,
Speaker 1: written by Bread to each of you. I ask of
Speaker 1: the a question that will answer. We right to know
Speaker 1: the way outside of the castle. He's doing riddles. We
Speaker 1: must be able to handle the battle, the battle. Who
Speaker 1: could be battle with him? We could be battling ourselves,
Speaker 1: could be setting up a war right with the queen.
Speaker 1: Possibly right, Maybe this is an opportunity for the bread
Speaker 1: to rise up. Maybe the battle is just kicking this
Speaker 1: guy's ass now hold on, hold on all right? Maybe not?
Speaker 1: Maybe not? Wait, I hear some nose out there, right
Speaker 1: for your queen. I rise for no queen or kings
Speaker 1: of the people. Just get up. Hello, prisoners, my prisoners,
Speaker 1: I am the queen. Yes, Mom, I'm sorry, I'm so
Speaker 1: four from all the bread. Anyway? Did you get bread?
Speaker 1: Did you get Okay, I've had bread. You'll carry your
Speaker 1: pigeons upon the ground. Oh, I squshed out the organs
Speaker 1: of your carrier right way, hundreds of carrier. Your carrier pigeon.
Speaker 1: You're the ones been telling us how to escape from
Speaker 1: your castle. Who did you think it was an animal? Bread?
Speaker 1: Did you get it? What did you think of my riddle?
Speaker 1: Clever mom? So so we figure out to riddle and
Speaker 1: then we get to leave. That's it? Oh that sounds fine, Yes,
Speaker 1: let's do that. I'll never take your help ever. For
Speaker 1: God's sake, someone shut this lefty stuff arn to bend,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's a little bit more fleasible.
Speaker 1: I'm never work good tyrants. Ever. We won't we help us? One? Ben? Right?
Speaker 1: Why don't we here? Oh my god, Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Not bred more breds are sticking out the skin. So,
Speaker 1: your majesty, is this the battle that you said we
Speaker 1: would have to do in order to leave? Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I need an army, and so I figured maybe you
Speaker 1: guys blokes go to fight for me and we'd take
Speaker 1: the castle down the road. Be proud of it. Right? Sure? Then?
Speaker 1: Sure this went so smoothly. I'm sorry, I'm good, I'm
Speaker 1: alreally a warrior. We love these prisoners. This one cries
Speaker 1: over A bird's a warrior to warriors. Somebody killed? Maybe
Speaker 1: this one should take our places? Then? No, suspicious like
Speaker 1: you don't. Please, don't broke me up. I don't want
Speaker 1: me walked up. Put. I'm on the wreck. Put, I'm
Speaker 1: under put. That's a good idea. We do that. You don't, well, no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do the rock company. Good boys,
Speaker 1: lie down here, I don't don't hear stretch him nice
Speaker 1: way with my wrists. Don't give up, good soldier. We
Speaker 1: can armor. This is great, very exciting. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: some upstairs yet, we can got a bunch of all
Speaker 1: bread baskets, bad bread. Who are you fighting this time? Man?
Speaker 1: The guys down the way? My lord, my lord, I'm here,
Speaker 1: my lord. You're screaming at my face. My lord, can
Speaker 1: you hear me? I hear you. You're shouting and spitting apart,
Speaker 1: my lord, my lord, can you hear me? I can
Speaker 1: hear your message has come from the other castle of
Speaker 1: Queen Cart. Queen Car? What does she want? She brings
Speaker 1: death upon your doorstep. You don't think she could do it?
Speaker 1: Could she? I think, with a thousand percent of my
Speaker 1: bread mind that she could. That she could? Yes, oh
Speaker 1: oh no, yes, oh good god. I thought that there
Speaker 1: was you, my chief war strategy. Oh yeah, this is
Speaker 1: bad yes, of course we were laughing. We were laughing.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a good thing. What what options
Speaker 1: do we have? Well, huh, well we could like you're
Speaker 1: making this up. Your only primary job is to protect
Speaker 1: our castle. Course of course, in fact protection you made
Speaker 1: I have made. I need to check something outside. So
Speaker 1: far it's about the youth. We've set up the balcony. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course, I've got how many will be darning with you?
Speaker 1: Were just myself, one for the queen, and don't forget
Speaker 1: the o'maleys. Them will definitely coming. The old mallies are
Speaker 1: coming further if they duncan Trevor Stafford? Is everyone all right? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, we're ready for dinner with the king. How
Speaker 1: many of mellews are there? That's just us four the
Speaker 1: forum mellows, the King, the Queen right right after the kitchen,
Speaker 1: then luncheon one half wind half of an hour. But perfect,
Speaker 1: I get it. You want to attack the kingdom down
Speaker 1: the road. That's the one with the O'Malley's. It's not
Speaker 1: nine children in the kingdom. Oh that one's got the O'Malley's.
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. Yeah, right, who are the allies?
Speaker 1: The bread, give us you get up there. They are
Speaker 1: a baking family. That it's a family of bakers, but
Speaker 1: they deserve to die, though I'm with the mom. I
Speaker 1: hang on a second, No, how are they not deserving
Speaker 1: since what a children like going? They only deserve to
Speaker 1: die because you know that it will get us out
Speaker 1: of here. I'm sorry, your majesty. We don't mean to
Speaker 1: speak openly in front of you and not address you,
Speaker 1: but I enjoy listening bread speak openly against the tyrant.
Speaker 1: Put the dead picture in. That fucker's said right in
Speaker 1: my eye. You're putting his eye on his mouth. Why
Speaker 1: you're not stuffing it in his mouth? That's the part
Speaker 1: that's well. I don't like the way look, so I'm
Speaker 1: not looking. It's spread of ground right now. Give me that.
Speaker 1: I'll do it. I'll do it. I can't really look
Speaker 1: on it. I'll just I'll just shove it somewhere first
Speaker 1: the rack. Then this that's no fun. Sorry, sorry spoking
Speaker 1: our aim before we go to wall with the people
Speaker 1: down the right for bread, I have had that put
Speaker 1: in his mouth. Absolutely not to give the people bread
Speaker 1: can't possibly satisfying, even if it's to shut him up.
Speaker 1: I mean that makes sense. A little bit of bread,
Speaker 1: A little bit of bread like the bread's ass. They
Speaker 1: all right, right, Yeah, let's put the heel. It's poetic,
Speaker 1: it would be poetic. Yeah, put the queen's foot in
Speaker 1: his mouth in Oh, I can't say no to you
Speaker 1: boys and chains. Okay, here, you enjoy your heel. Fuck
Speaker 1: your bread off, mashicade. That don't make you young? Noises,
Speaker 1: stop it. Terrible mistake. I knew it. I should follow
Speaker 1: my instincts. Can you pass the grave he please? I
Speaker 1: should have my gravy man. Come, gravy man. Oh, that
Speaker 1: seems that doesn't seem necessary. We can just well, I'm
Speaker 1: mucking and the lord. And if I don't have someone
Speaker 1: bring gravy to me, then, oh my god, oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: And I will tell you when my guy more gravy.
Speaker 1: You get a greedy guy, start with me more? How
Speaker 1: how many of the things on his face or eyes?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Can
Speaker 1: you believe it? A whole man dedicated, just a gree
Speaker 1: I love it? Married, I say again, mom, can we
Speaker 1: get a gravy man? Uh? In time? Okay? Christmas is
Speaker 1: I don't want to say, but I don't think the
Speaker 1: O'Malley's will ever be able to afford a grave man.
Speaker 1: That's kind of a royal maybe, why do you hear
Speaker 1: the bat? Okay, let's see. How will you think you'd
Speaker 1: get a gravy your highness? And I just if I
Speaker 1: can speak for the family, I think, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: with all the respect, thank you for having us and
Speaker 1: being inspidable. But to assume that we wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to achieve a gravy man, that's uh, that's where I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to stop you. What do you get your
Speaker 1: Malley's have heart? Right? They got sold? Yeah, they got love,
Speaker 1: that's right, dad. Sure the man needs to be paid
Speaker 1: something that you know can't be paid with love and heart.
Speaker 1: That's true. You need money to take me away from
Speaker 1: the kingdom. Cost a lot, It would cost a lot.
Speaker 1: There's not enough money in this kingdom for many people
Speaker 1: to have gravy man? How many? Leading on? How much
Speaker 1: does a bread baking family make? Well, we make quarterly
Speaker 1: about fifty yes? Really? And then and then that's all
Speaker 1: I expected? How you could be bad stuff? What do
Speaker 1: you think I mean? Um, let's just do the math
Speaker 1: out loud. It's easier for youth out. Okay, you're pressuring me. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's in front of them, dad um, your majesty grave man,
Speaker 1: who is who is that lady outside with those three
Speaker 1: guys following or marching on the castle? That's from the
Speaker 1: kingdom down the way, the kingdom down the way. I
Speaker 1: I we've got a whole armory of soldiers that should
Speaker 1: be dealing with them. I wouldn't gates. The queen demand's entrance.
Speaker 1: Open your gates or for the suld Yeah, don't done.
Speaker 1: They'll take your bread. Why the hell did these backpack
Speaker 1: straps hurting my shoulders? Right, he's a mule, right then
Speaker 1: let that queen in. Right, we're having dinner. I'm having
Speaker 1: the Omalley's for dinner. May we come back maybe tomorrow? Today?
Speaker 1: Still good for me. We have to do it today.
Speaker 1: We got to do it today. You want to be
Speaker 1: here for dinner, let's say one hour. I'm going to
Speaker 1: just finish one dinner and have a second dinner in
Speaker 1: an hour. That's laughable. Look, send out your gravy man,
Speaker 1: we're gonna attack. Okay, okay, graveyman, I have deepest regrets.
Speaker 1: Keep talking. I'm gonna have to send you out to
Speaker 1: the queen. It seems that my chief Warton m he
Speaker 1: did not prepare for a battle. So we're going to
Speaker 1: either lose or I'll have to lose my gravy man.
Speaker 1: I'm ready deserves that. All right, Well we'll open the
Speaker 1: gates and good luck. Which one is the queen or
Speaker 1: she'll be the tall woman with all of the people
Speaker 1: that are probably in, you know, varying levels of enslavement
Speaker 1: to her. You'll know who she is, trust me, queens
Speaker 1: and women. Oh yeah, she's a woman. Keep talking. Well,
Speaker 1: I would be careful. She's a powerful woman, and one
Speaker 1: wrong move could lend you and change quite easy. I'm
Speaker 1: not all powerful. It's here amazing. Can you understand everything
Speaker 1: he says? Most of it is just using mental telepathy
Speaker 1: to sneak That sounds help, but it's kind of like shade.
Speaker 1: Where would I live? Achilles heal? I would assume thought
Speaker 1: I thought he said hercules shield. I'm sorry? Is he
Speaker 1: and some sort of curse? It's duncan you wait to talk? Sorry, Sorry,
Speaker 1: that's okay, duncan And so it is a curse. He
Speaker 1: was cursed by the witches. Would you like to say
Speaker 1: what the questions three only you can solve and I
Speaker 1: can't solve the puzzles, so the curse down. So it sucks.
Speaker 1: It's a bomb bomb? Is it that puzzle that's on
Speaker 1: the table here? You could never solve the just picture
Speaker 1: of a tiger. There you go, don't help. We can
Speaker 1: do this. Yeah, this is easy. We're gonna slide puzzles. Okay,
Speaker 1: and uh there we go. I'll done till I'm free. Hey,
Speaker 1: did we just free your gravy man? Oh? Damn? Time
Speaker 1: was using that? Well? I was going to give him
Speaker 1: to the queen anyways, but now he's gonna go on
Speaker 1: his own free will. Well, well, the gravy man marry
Speaker 1: the Queen tune next week to find out seem too.
Speaker 1: Today is from Marcus, who wrote, Hello alchemist, You guys
Speaker 1: just make my day when I clean windows here in
Speaker 1: the cold north of Denmark. And yes, podcasts exists over
Speaker 1: here too, They're just not as good as yours. I
Speaker 1: have a scene suggestion. A curious inventor goes down the
Speaker 1: street listens to people complain about their everyday problems, only
Speaker 1: to readily interrupt them to show them his new invention
Speaker 1: that will help them. Every time he stops new people.
Speaker 1: He will pull new inventions from his backpack like a cartoon. Ps.
Speaker 1: I like the cocos the most, both of them. Wow,
Speaker 1: seems weird. And the rest of us will be over
Speaker 1: here at the ship plate. Your dear listener from Denmark,
Speaker 1: Marcus Knudson. By the way, would it be okay if
Speaker 1: we made films of your scenes? Me and a friend
Speaker 1: who has a film company. We think it would be
Speaker 1: very funny to see your scenes acted out on film.
Speaker 1: Sorry for my bad English, I'm gonna say yes, yes, yes, Marcus,
Speaker 1: you go ahead and make some films. But yeah, and
Speaker 1: let us know how the Kokowskis feel about your films
Speaker 1: and send send it to our Instagram account. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: happy to do sound on it, you know. And Joey Gerstein.
Speaker 1: All right, onto the streets we go with a curious inventor.
Speaker 1: I can't seem to get both of my shoes off.
Speaker 1: If only there was some ways. Just holds still and
Speaker 1: I'll pull right. We've been doing this for an hour,
Speaker 1: I know, but you know, you get one off every
Speaker 1: time and then we can't get the other shoes. I
Speaker 1: hate to our front porch. I just happened to be
Speaker 1: walking by and I, uh, I heard about your little
Speaker 1: dilemma here. What is your My? My name is Marcel,
Speaker 1: and I do happen to be an inventor. And I
Speaker 1: think I may have something in my backpack that might
Speaker 1: help you out. What do you got that? Something that's
Speaker 1: gonna make your shoes come right off your body? I
Speaker 1: have a hard time believing that you have something like that.
Speaker 1: We've struggled for this with this for years. Well, window,
Speaker 1: instead of continuing to struggle, we give the stranger from
Speaker 1: a far off lane a chance to help. You haven't
Speaker 1: heard my invention yet. What do you call it? I
Speaker 1: call it a bellows. Here's what I do. I'm going
Speaker 1: to shove it in your mouth, inflate you. Your feet
Speaker 1: are gonna become great big, and your shoes are gonna
Speaker 1: pop right off your body. So you're gonna inflate me
Speaker 1: through the mouth, open wide science. That's amazing. How do
Speaker 1: you feel now? I feel strange, but my shoes came off.
Speaker 1: It's incredible. Well, I'll see you later. Wow, that was
Speaker 1: really nice of him. Really want. I'm sorry to say this,
Speaker 1: but looking at your your medical report looks like your
Speaker 1: entire internal organs are distended. Yeah, well, I put a
Speaker 1: thing in my mouth and blew me up. He put
Speaker 1: a thing in your mouth, inventor. He put a device
Speaker 1: in my mouth and expanded my entire body. Well, I
Speaker 1: like a balloon that my shoes popped off. So you're
Speaker 1: saying there's trouble from that. Yes, you're saying that turns
Speaker 1: out that wasn't the best thing for the inside of
Speaker 1: my body. Is the best bedside banner you could have? Well,
Speaker 1: are you a doctor? I am a doctor? Okay, thank
Speaker 1: you very much. I am a doctor. Because it says
Speaker 1: Costco on your name, that's my name. I feel like
Speaker 1: we should go to a real doctor, a real doctor.
Speaker 1: You don't want to go to Don Costco anymore. You
Speaker 1: want to go see a real doctor, doctor don Costco. Yes,
Speaker 1: I got one from TV. Yes, how do you do nice?
Speaker 1: I've never seen the show. I just hear about it.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to me when you see the show. Okay,
Speaker 1: Right in the meantime, what can you tell me about
Speaker 1: my my problem with doctor? It's almost time now break? Okay. Well,
Speaker 1: what I can tell you right now before I have
Speaker 1: to take my snack break is that all your organs
Speaker 1: they're all jumbled up, all right, jumbled, yes, and how
Speaker 1: long he might live. But you're gonna need some Kirkland batteries. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's something I can tell you, right. I mean, I
Speaker 1: feel great for now, but I do the Kirkland batteries.
Speaker 1: You're gonna you want to rub them on your feet.
Speaker 1: I have to go on my snack break. Okay, so
Speaker 1: just Shannon, I just I'm getting schooled on the court.
Speaker 1: I can't dunk. Everybody else is dunking. I can't dunk.
Speaker 1: Oh well, did you try jumping higher? Yeah, I've tried.
Speaker 1: I can't get any higher. I don't got the lift.
Speaker 1: Oh well, excuse me. I can't help but over here,
Speaker 1: but my name is Marcel, and uh I might have
Speaker 1: an invention that could help you with your dunking. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is weird kitchen, but well, you know, the window
Speaker 1: was open. I figured i'd come by and uh, and
Speaker 1: it's lovely in here. Told you to stop leaving. K're right,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I think I can help you dunk
Speaker 1: young man. Okay, I'm all ears for this. I got
Speaker 1: a game in forty five. We're just finishing up den
Speaker 1: expecting company. Do you want something to drink? Oh? Sure, sure,
Speaker 1: I would love something to drink, anything at all. Anything
Speaker 1: that you put in a cup, I will drink. Okay.
Speaker 1: And as for you, young man, I even invention here
Speaker 1: in my backpack. They just might help you out. All right,
Speaker 1: let's see it. It's called him bellows helping the mouth.
Speaker 1: And I'm just gonna inflate your behalf. And now, whenever
Speaker 1: you want to dunk, just poke a couple of holes
Speaker 1: in your feet. You'll shoot right up to the sky. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, thanks for the cup of whatever they catch up. Okay.
Speaker 1: By Yeah, we're gonna have to get the fire department
Speaker 1: in here or something. That guy stuck in the rafters. Honey, man,
Speaker 1: please we gotta make a perimeter. Okay, man, please do
Speaker 1: you see me dunk? Yeah? So this guy has been
Speaker 1: up for about six hours or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, tell whether we get him down or call
Speaker 1: the New York next I could use it forward. You
Speaker 1: were the things the time. This guy. I think we
Speaker 1: just opened up to the rafters and let him out,
Speaker 1: like float up to the Sorry, he's gonna explode up there.
Speaker 1: How about poking some more holes in the kid We
Speaker 1: didn't hear that's dangerous. Shoot all over the place. We
Speaker 1: just gotta get him down, all right, that's it, all right, brainiac?
Speaker 1: How we're getting him down? Wait, wait for the fire
Speaker 1: department to come down. They go, how they're gonna bring
Speaker 1: up here? They're to bring him down? What are we
Speaker 1: doing here? We're just making sure if he folds, there's
Speaker 1: a witness or something, right, Okay, all right, it's his
Speaker 1: wife over there or something. I don't know, maybe his
Speaker 1: girlfriends usually out. But I gotta bb gun, and I think,
Speaker 1: whoa whoa man, just a bb gun? What are they're
Speaker 1: talking about? Shooting you down? What he always shot? I
Speaker 1: want to make is a dunk. Let's keep a perimeter. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's keep a perimeter, so I little dunk her up there.
Speaker 1: How this happened in the first place, those kids cooled
Speaker 1: on the court and an inventor came by with something
Speaker 1: called up bellows. Right, that's it, that's it. That's what
Speaker 1: I fill you up with. A yeah, And that's how
Speaker 1: I got up here. But not after my game where
Speaker 1: I scored two points? Duncan What happened to this Invnafela? Well,
Speaker 1: it's weird. He just kind of appeared in our kitchen
Speaker 1: and then he disappeared. We gotta find this inventor guy,
Speaker 1: because if he can get him up, he's got to
Speaker 1: be able to get him down. Hey, we're parks and
Speaker 1: wreck man. Okay, we're parks and so we don't have
Speaker 1: to help. Right at that gate, that's where my job ends. Like,
Speaker 1: that's where at the end of the park. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: do you want to do actually curricular, then you do it.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna open up the window up there, and
Speaker 1: up the window. It's gonna be fine. All right, Well
Speaker 1: that I say, we try to find this in benefill.
Speaker 1: Our boat is filling up with water. I don't know
Speaker 1: how we're gonna get to shore. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: Use your hands, bail bails. I'm trying to bail as
Speaker 1: much as I can. It's just I feel like this
Speaker 1: is it for us. This is this is it. I've
Speaker 1: always loved you. I loved you too. Hey, there fellas
Speaker 1: we in your boat. I couldn't help, but notice your
Speaker 1: little dilemma you have here. It looks like your boat sinking.
Speaker 1: I happen to have something here that might be able
Speaker 1: to help you. Yeah, boat, can we get on? Get
Speaker 1: on your boat? It's called a bellows open your mouth
Speaker 1: and in faces, and that should Now that you're nice
Speaker 1: and tight, that should stop all the leaking in your boat.
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna make me float, my butt
Speaker 1: stuck in the hole in the boat. See no more leaking? Okay?
Speaker 1: By who sucks? Okay, Um, I don't work so far
Speaker 1: out still? No, we ran out of that hours ago.
Speaker 1: At least the water stuffed. I almost forgot something. This
Speaker 1: sun out here is pretty harsh. You guys are gonna
Speaker 1: need this bellows for your sun burns. Okay, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: Mrs Weathermore, but the passing number husband doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you don't have to pay for the boat's rental. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna need Do you need something from
Speaker 1: the bail? Do you get the paperwork film? Yes? All right,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm good at. Just write a
Speaker 1: check on I don't have any I don't have any money.
Speaker 1: That's going to be a problem. My husband took care
Speaker 1: of the us left a boat. Another family arrested one
Speaker 1: of our Rhode Island dolphins. So it's an oh, my beautiful,
Speaker 1: utiful craft and he's dead. This is the first time
Speaker 1: hearing of this. This is just a lot of information
Speaker 1: on um. Do you wanna just get that checker? Okay,
Speaker 1: here's do you have some kind of We have his shoes,
Speaker 1: but we got the guy shoes still, right, I think
Speaker 1: so to The shoes cost as much as the boat.
Speaker 1: I'm wearing shoes I'm wearing this year, so I can't
Speaker 1: we don't know where the shoes. What is there anything
Speaker 1: left of it? Is that I just can't keep this
Speaker 1: fire going. It keeps getting down. I can't keep the
Speaker 1: fire going. Well, how about adding some more woods papers?
Speaker 1: I'm trying it rained recently. The wood's too wet. It
Speaker 1: was doing his best alight. It's just cold, right, But
Speaker 1: if you complain more, it doesn't help. Sorry, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to make it hot in here. Don't you understand that
Speaker 1: you're saying the wood, Yeah, it's wet, it rained recently.
Speaker 1: I don't think it will take. Yeah, well it's got
Speaker 1: to be somewhere when you get this fire. Excuse me
Speaker 1: or you hi up? My name is Marcel. You come
Speaker 1: from I came from just outside, right, But we're a
Speaker 1: cabin in the wood. Yeah, just outside it just woods? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can I happen to overhear you. How's that I
Speaker 1: happened to overhear you from from the woods. Where are
Speaker 1: we outside? All right? Yeah? And why are you here? Well,
Speaker 1: I heard you had a little dilemma. We can't get
Speaker 1: this fire going. Oh gosh, I might have something in
Speaker 1: my bag that will help that. He's reaching for a gun.
Speaker 1: He's reaching for a gun. Oh god, God, oh god,
Speaker 1: I will choke the life out of you. You're trying
Speaker 1: to say something with him. I have something for you
Speaker 1: in my backpack that wells out of here. What is it?
Speaker 1: It's it's a shoehorn. Yeah. Oh wait, No, maybe that
Speaker 1: won't help. I got it. Hold on, let me see
Speaker 1: what else I got in here? Trying to get a fire?
Speaker 1: Got a book on how to be a better basketball player,
Speaker 1: got a boat patch huh? And he's got a gun
Speaker 1: throwing on the fire. So I'm throwing on the fire.
Speaker 1: I can't okay, but he's all wet too. I don't
Speaker 1: think we're gonna be able to light him on fire.
Speaker 1: It's true, all right, mr. If you go for that
Speaker 1: gun one more time, I swear, I promise I don't
Speaker 1: have a gun in there. Do you understand what we're
Speaker 1: trying to do here, trying to get a fire. You're
Speaker 1: trying to get a fire, and you said you could help.
Speaker 1: You came out of the woods to help. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: what do you got? I got a shoehorn, a book
Speaker 1: on basketball skills, and a boat patch. Maybe with those
Speaker 1: things you can figure out how to get your fire going.
Speaker 1: What if we ripped up the book on basketball? Who use?
Speaker 1: That's the tinder? But how will we learn to play basketball?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but i'm cold. All right, we'll tear
Speaker 1: that up. Good, Okay, that that'll work. Sure, And I
Speaker 1: don't know where to go from here. Sure you got Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's nice. That's it. It's working a little bit sparking.
Speaker 1: Oh that's real nice. It's a lot warmer. Thanks guy
Speaker 1: from the woods. Hey, no problem. Thanks for letting me
Speaker 1: come in and hang out in your cabin for a while,
Speaker 1: enjoy your fire. So he had no bellows for us,
Speaker 1: the one place that we could have finally used his
Speaker 1: ridiculous contraption. Our last scene for today, Norway. We've gone
Speaker 1: from Denmark to Norway. Right, it's uh, have Vard h
Speaker 1: A V A R D. But there's a thing over
Speaker 1: the a that I don't recognize. Harvard yep who wrote
Speaker 1: it's an R next to that's what over the a
Speaker 1: R greeting from Norway. I don't really have a touching
Speaker 1: story about how your podcast changed my life, cured my depression,
Speaker 1: or got me a girlfriend like other people who send
Speaker 1: in suggestions, So this episode better be good because I'm
Speaker 1: hoping for all three. Anyway, my idea is Hitler didn't
Speaker 1: die in that bunker Jesus, thank you Norway. Insteady hit
Speaker 1: in a secret room connected to it. He's been surviving
Speaker 1: on a combination of cockroach, just bats, and the occasional
Speaker 1: toad that jumps yb After all these years, he finally
Speaker 1: decides to head out of his cave, where he stumbles
Speaker 1: upon a group of people that decide to show this
Speaker 1: old man around his new the New Society. We follow
Speaker 1: Hitler on his journey to become hips Havard Tonning from Norway.
Speaker 1: So anyways, we're we're are just about through our journey here,
Speaker 1: and um, we have two more stops to make. Can
Speaker 1: we use the restroom at any point? Yeah? Sure? Who
Speaker 1: needs to go? Everyone needs to go? Oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I didn't realize it was such a problem. So we
Speaker 1: have one restroom, so just figure out who's gonna go first.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go first. It's an emergency, an emergency as well,
Speaker 1: emergency for the lady. I think maybe I haven't plugging
Speaker 1: myself with something with a free bread you've been giving us, okay,
Speaker 1: and it's getting pretty soggy. I understand lugging yoursel. Yes,
Speaker 1: are you saying you would push bread into Yes? I
Speaker 1: have a loose sphincter. All right, Oh, it was a
Speaker 1: basketball injury. I was picturing you pushing bad That's impossible,
Speaker 1: like you guys, storytell I'm going to go to the bathroom. Okay, listen.
Speaker 1: While she's gone, I have something to ask you guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is your money? Yes? Okay? Do you have like
Speaker 1: a dollar each? Yeah? Yeah? Really? Yeah? Alright, that was
Speaker 1: the whole thing. Yeah, I'm gonna have lunch today. This
Speaker 1: is great. You can get more than that's only three dollars.
Speaker 1: That enough for a lot. Do not go in there?
Speaker 1: That was fast. Yeah, it was an emergence. The hell
Speaker 1: should we go in there? Oh? Why the hell should
Speaker 1: the only bathroom? And now we can't go in there?
Speaker 1: It's a figure warning exactly what the hell can we
Speaker 1: God that I can't go in there? Now I can't
Speaker 1: go maybe ink a little bit. Why do you gotta
Speaker 1: make a thing? It's stunk a little bit. I can
Speaker 1: go in there, but now I can't go in there.
Speaker 1: I can't go in there. Fu it. I'm doing it here.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it here, alright. Let us know how that
Speaker 1: works out. All right, we're gonna see it. He's doing
Speaker 1: it right here, Broculpied. What the fuck occupie? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've been shifting on this old guy. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm shitting on the Oh I kiss that. Shifting on
Speaker 1: this guy shing on me. It gives the ship on
Speaker 1: this sing on me, kiss them shitkis a minute, it's
Speaker 1: in my mouth. Oh my god, over my you've got
Speaker 1: to stop. There's no way this person deserves what you're
Speaker 1: giving him right now, being coming right now, hold my arms.
Speaker 1: That's probably it's the person that's the first loof my
Speaker 1: God in him, and I am coming. Okay, Jeff, You're okay, Jeff,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be okay. They're not going to be ok
Speaker 1: comment in human ship. Sorry, old man. Let you really
Speaker 1: are old? How I'm a hundred and ninety what hundreds
Speaker 1: on ninety? Yeares old? Just on a hundred ninety year
Speaker 1: old guy. It's going to be some kind of record.
Speaker 1: It's not one did anybody wants to have? Is that record? Okay?
Speaker 1: But what are you doing down there hiding? Oh? This
Speaker 1: looks like a whole bunker system with that. Gotta be
Speaker 1: the craziest game of hide and seek effort. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: a very long game of hide and seek. I must
Speaker 1: have won. You must have won. Did I win? I
Speaker 1: think so? Did I been? I mean I've not walked
Speaker 1: out to this room since nineteen forty five? What happened?
Speaker 1: Let's not rehash nineteen forty five? Remember if that happened
Speaker 1: in nine? Remember it? Sorry, has anybody using the us
Speaker 1: here ship? Hold? I gotta go real bad? Every bunch
Speaker 1: shipping on that poor old daddy so good? It's a
Speaker 1: single strand. Let me throw down a rope to you, sir.
Speaker 1: Here's a here's a rope. I think they just did
Speaker 1: a big lunch. I'm ready to do a gravy man.
Speaker 1: He gave me a bunch. Yeah. Do you also have
Speaker 1: happened to have like a wet towel or something? You
Speaker 1: just gave it a hundred ninety year old man a
Speaker 1: rope to climb up on. I'm not going down there.
Speaker 1: He's covered in ship. Okay, Well, first of all, he's
Speaker 1: not really hundred ninety because it's how possible. Also, what
Speaker 1: happened that the stock market crashed? Oh my god, probably
Speaker 1: went in there. A lot of old people did a
Speaker 1: lot of weird things when the stock market cras. So
Speaker 1: he maybe it was twenty Maybe he wrote time Plane
Speaker 1: or something. I don't know. Maybe he wrote time Plane road.
Speaker 1: The Stephen King thing. Why don't you ask him a
Speaker 1: couple of questions? Why are you speaking so quiet? It
Speaker 1: took me a minute. I may have been a little
Speaker 1: off on my numbers. I believe I'm a hunt twenty one.
Speaker 1: Here's a girl I like you. So what are you
Speaker 1: doing down there? But I was hiding? Yeah, you said that,
Speaker 1: it's a long time to hide. Yeah, from ghosts, from well,
Speaker 1: the ghosts of my past. What's your name? Isn't my
Speaker 1: name is uh A Braham? Are you Abraham Lincoln? Yes?
Speaker 1: Come on talk it was from the Great Depression. He's
Speaker 1: not for the Great Depression. I told you I'm definitely
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln. Because he doesn't have his hat on. I
Speaker 1: bet you if he had a really tall hat. You
Speaker 1: can tell you've been down there. I've been down here
Speaker 1: since nine You have relax. This guy's got a temper
Speaker 1: like seventy four years ago. That's seventy years. He's got
Speaker 1: some paintings down here, right, can't really tell it. They're
Speaker 1: Wait what you don't like my paintings? One other shift
Speaker 1: on them. I don't know if that's us or painted shit.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. All right, let's go ahead. And your
Speaker 1: last night you checked into your room, sir? You really
Speaker 1: smell terrible. I have been shipped on for seventy five years. Okay, great,
Speaker 1: this is a red roof, and we don't ask any questions. Um, alright,
Speaker 1: Link Lincoln you said yes, great, Abraham Lincoln, alright, third floor.
Speaker 1: Your buddy is paid for the room here to meet. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt, and do you matter if I
Speaker 1: cut I? Oh wow, look at this. Huh? You know
Speaker 1: a piece of ship, aren't you. Huh, here's a piece
Speaker 1: of shit, aren't you? I got a problem and you
Speaker 1: won't even let me fight. Huh, here's a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: You are American? Of course I'm American. Are you hitting
Speaker 1: on my wife? He's trying to hit on me I'm
Speaker 1: not hitting on your wife. I'm gonna pull every goddamn
Speaker 1: two thout of your head. Why would you? I'll teach
Speaker 1: you to look at my wife like that. It's only
Speaker 1: got one too, That's all he needed to do. Do
Speaker 1: you two need a room? Oh yeah, we had a
Speaker 1: complete with the ice machine isn't working? Floor three? Let's
Speaker 1: say somebody plugged it up with what shit? Somebody plugged
Speaker 1: up the ice machine was caked up in there, and
Speaker 1: it seems like I know the culprit I did it.
Speaker 1: Don't sign that great, I'll make a note of it.
Speaker 1: We'll send somebody up tomorrow. Probably because this is a
Speaker 1: red roof. And is this what people act like in
Speaker 1: twenty nine? Is this what happens? Where you been all
Speaker 1: this time? I've been in a bunk of getting shipped
Speaker 1: on what I've been told? Why does everyone keep asking?
Speaker 1: Seventy four years I was underground hiding. But why would
Speaker 1: you say if people kept shipping? Because I could not
Speaker 1: I could not get out. You know it's the ship,
Speaker 1: sir as the makeover a district on third and fifth.
Speaker 1: Just head down there. They make overt make of a district. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's every it's one stop shopping for making over. I'll
Speaker 1: go right now, maybe shower first, but it's not. If
Speaker 1: I'm getting a makeover, I need to look as terrible
Speaker 1: as possible. That's fair. Here's a little map found draw
Speaker 1: than you head down there? And why did you draw
Speaker 1: a circ over the highlight of Why didn't you just highlight?
Speaker 1: You know? Don't ask how I do you think? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, welcome to Thame's House of mike over. So
Speaker 1: how can we Hey, hello, my name is Adolphe. For
Speaker 1: the measure to meet you. Please let us know where
Speaker 1: we can start. We'd love to begin right away with
Speaker 1: no folks. Well, from the top of my head to
Speaker 1: the bottom of my jack boots. Soup to nuts? Is
Speaker 1: that size? Nuts? Who are you a pistol? Pistol? Yes?
Speaker 1: I would like a luga? Please a luga? Yes? Oh
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. But what can you
Speaker 1: do for me? Is it will make me not stand out?
Speaker 1: You're not from around here? No I am not. You
Speaker 1: get a funny excellence? Thank you? Where are you from?
Speaker 1: I was born in Austria but lived most of my
Speaker 1: life in Germany. Oh, Germany, I've never been. It's beautiful,
Speaker 1: It's just a dream of home, fatherland, the father land.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard it called that in sometime. What did
Speaker 1: you do there in Germany? I was a big deal.
Speaker 1: You are working? Are you famous? I was famous in Germany?
Speaker 1: But now I am not saying. I'm not even allowed
Speaker 1: to let people know him alive. It's just the first
Speaker 1: part of the makeover. You make of my heart first.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. It hurts to happen. Let me only
Speaker 1: just get him in this chair right over here, and
Speaker 1: we'll starting his skin. Roger here is gonna work on
Speaker 1: You'm just gonna work on your skin. I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: this my burn a little bit, but it's it's gonna
Speaker 1: be nice for fresh afterwards. Careful, not that close with
Speaker 1: that lighter. This is slimmable. Oh wait, put that out,
Speaker 1: he say something might Oh, bloke, stop with the flamethrower.
Speaker 1: So sorry, your face is really burned. That's not that
Speaker 1: doesn't usually happen. I am so silent. Man looks fucked up.
Speaker 1: It's it's normal. It'll hell and it's just sometimes you
Speaker 1: get to burn off the outside to get to the
Speaker 1: good in. You said you've been hiding, so we don't
Speaker 1: want it. We agree, we don't want anyone to find you,
Speaker 1: so we're just trying to help. You're not gonna look
Speaker 1: anything like yourself. I'm gonna bring my sister in and
Speaker 1: she's gonna help you with the next phase. See us.
Speaker 1: Adolf from Germany, O Germany. I have always wanted to go.
Speaker 1: My cousin's best friend Study brought in Germany and I
Speaker 1: saw pictures and I was like, I gotta go there.
Speaker 1: You sound sover traveled. Thank you. Yes, what are you
Speaker 1: going to do to me? Now? Well? I have to
Speaker 1: get you a new outfit that's probably the fat your
Speaker 1: birth face. What kind of outfit matches the bund face? Something? Right?
Speaker 1: You know? I'm sorry. I got the ship in my head.
Speaker 1: I gotta put somewhere looks real good ship. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but you know, sometimes the outfit finds the person, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Just a second six partner? Sir?
Speaker 1: What's your name? How do my name is lawson? Lawson?
Speaker 1: Why didn't you come into our store with your hands?
Speaker 1: I said, sh on my hands. I don't know where
Speaker 1: to go, so you just thought you'd come by? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well look your shitty Hey, sorry about that. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: and put it on our client. Yeah, I'm used to
Speaker 1: it by now. Okay, is there anything else you needed
Speaker 1: to do? Just just drop some ship. Well, thanks for coming.
Speaker 1: All right, sir, here's your avocado toast and you're beyond burger.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. I will be upstairs on my AirPods. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you need anything else, you just ring that bell there.
Speaker 1: Thank you. M M. I think I'm assimilating fight bell. Hi.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt, but what is it? Oh no,
Speaker 1: come on over. I just heard you had an accent,
Speaker 1: and I love a guy with an accent. I don't
Speaker 1: introduce myself. It's my years solution to meet new people. Sorry, nervous,
Speaker 1: I just nervous. Were very relaxed. Take a little piece
Speaker 1: of my scarff. Take a little piece of my scarf
Speaker 1: and touch it on your skin, and then you won't
Speaker 1: be nervous no more. Oh my gosh, I just feel
Speaker 1: so connected. It's all about connections. It's like vin vain
Speaker 1: Daire makes you listen to a thing, and he has
Speaker 1: your mantra for you know how mantra's work, right? I think, gosh,
Speaker 1: you're so smart. I think, um, so, my name is Dicky,
Speaker 1: Think my name is Adolf. Hitler. I think it it's
Speaker 1: time to just be myself. So I'm just going to
Speaker 1: be myself. Sure, I am the Adolf Hitler, but I'm
Speaker 1: better now what they're gonna say, Hitler? Yes, I finally
Speaker 1: assimilated in your society, and I'm comfortable enough to say
Speaker 1: my actual name. I am Adolf Hitler. I lived in
Speaker 1: a bunker adjacent to you know what. My Norwegian friend
Speaker 1: will explain the whole thing to you what happened, But
Speaker 1: just suffice to say, fuck you, wo wow? Why the
Speaker 1: hostility in a pizza coffee? Your piece of ship? Well,
Speaker 1: I was covered in pieces of ship for a mile.
Speaker 1: But now I am totally assimilated and I enjoy your
Speaker 1: music and I have a record player. But should we
Speaker 1: believe it? You know, give us some proof, proofs that
Speaker 1: I'm Atolf Hitler. Yeah, you gave me, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's what kind of proof do you want to look
Speaker 1: at me? I'm a hundred and twenty someboty years old, exactly,
Speaker 1: your wrinkled bag of shit? So what how are we
Speaker 1: supposed to believe? We got some kind of papers? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have papers right here. Take a look at let's see.
Speaker 1: These are all the shitty drawn my art. This is
Speaker 1: my art. I am an artist. Do not make me
Speaker 1: do what I did last time people did not like
Speaker 1: my art. You have crap art, man, that's just what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go burn the fucking right stuck down. I
Speaker 1: didn't get my coffee. Don't you have a dream puff
Speaker 1: Hitler coffee? No? I think that's for that guy. Oh shit,
Speaker 1: what do you have? I got moa Moka Mediataka Mediata,
Speaker 1: Greg Moka Mediata. Sorry, I didn't feel that. I didn't
Speaker 1: see it. I'll you mean and see it. You're the
Speaker 1: one who wrung me up. Yeah, I'm sorry this guy.
Speaker 1: It was really busy. You know, we have celebrity was
Speaker 1: in the building today. They see my ass? All right, man,
Speaker 1: you saw me, dude, you know that it was my order. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was just I kind of starstrack. Hitler was in
Speaker 1: the man. I give a shit about that. Man, I
Speaker 1: got I'm I'm all right, man. Like on the order
Speaker 1: the name was Burger Burger. Yeah, keep spell that burger
Speaker 1: b o g r. Oh it's right here. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I'll get that ready for you right now. You found
Speaker 1: it now, Yeah, you know what. I don't want it,
Speaker 1: But what really don't know if it's gonna be like this,
Speaker 1: I don't want it. Okay, man, I just want to refund.
Speaker 1: Give me pete points. Did you call the uber? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I called Hitler. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, I just had
Speaker 1: to good doubt of that they did not like my art. Buck.
Speaker 1: Don't you look at this? Look you look at this?
Speaker 1: What's your name? Larry? Larry? I give sure, I'm driving Larry,
Speaker 1: but pull over? Look at it. I can't pull over?
Speaker 1: You know you do you on five stars? Is your
Speaker 1: name really Hitler? My name is Adolf Hitler. Yes, come on, yes,
Speaker 1: but if I come on, come on, if I come on,
Speaker 1: that's that's not even funny, sir, my name is Adolf Hitler, right,
Speaker 1: you want to know it. It's not funny. You're not
Speaker 1: wanting to look at my art focus while I'm driving
Speaker 1: the car. Well, I'm wanting to show you my art.
Speaker 1: And if you don't, how is it you have two stars?
Speaker 1: By the way, I didn't I want to pick you up,
Speaker 1: but I was so fascinated by only having two stars
Speaker 1: because I'm Adolf Hitler. Yeah, and again, not terribly funny.
Speaker 1: It's I don't know why you think that would be funny.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think it's funny. What I do
Speaker 1: think it's funny? So happy two stars? What is your
Speaker 1: what is your full name? My phon name? I told
Speaker 1: you my full name out of Hitler. What's your full name?
Speaker 1: Larry Greer? Larry Greer? Oh, I don't believe you, Larry Greer.
Speaker 1: How's that feel? All right? Well, here's my license? Okay?
Speaker 1: What is it saying there's a there's a car parked
Speaker 1: on the train tracks. I don't think we have enough
Speaker 1: time to stop. We just gotta plow through it. I
Speaker 1: feel really bad. What if there's a family of children
Speaker 1: inside of that car? All the ship in the back
Speaker 1: of the train is heating up. We can't keep going faster.
Speaker 1: It's getting hard. We're gonna hit that car. You know what, great,
Speaker 1: Why don't you get out of this car? I will
Speaker 1: sit here in this cor by myself tracks. Yes, Iven,
Speaker 1: if you don't want to pull over, I will just
Speaker 1: pull over for both of us. Gets out of your car.
Speaker 1: I'll sit right here. Fine until you enjoy my art.
Speaker 1: You cannot get back in your own car. Fine, fine,
Speaker 1: enjoy the rest of your life, Aidolf Hitler. Fine, I
Speaker 1: will right here on these trade tracks. Oh good, look
Speaker 1: trades because it's such a tragic end. Yeah, until the
Speaker 1: billows of life get about it. You know. I saw
Speaker 1: that email and I thought, do we want to go
Speaker 1: down that? And I'm glad we did. Oh man, thank
Speaker 1: you from Norway, so that we can figure out how
Speaker 1: to kill that wonderful uh German. But yeah, not everything
Speaker 1: could be true. I can't believe everything you read. As
Speaker 1: the only jew in the rue, I were trought to
Speaker 1: ask why true? So I'm wondering, why did you want
Speaker 1: to shoot all over such a It was just I
Speaker 1: couldn't hold that that was mainzing. Mainsting was just to
Speaker 1: poop on them. Just open your innerds if I could
Speaker 1: do that and let it happy more than to do that.
Speaker 1: So when people say they want to go back in
Speaker 1: time to kill him, your your fantasy is to go
Speaker 1: back in time and poop on him. Yeah, but like
Speaker 1: enough word like a sickness will occur, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not like it's on my shoulder. You want him
Speaker 1: to suffer? Yeah, I mean he's caked in and weirdly
Speaker 1: that's our show for it today, Let's thank all of
Speaker 1: our alchemists, call Stratton. Thank you so much. Hey, thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. Where can folks find Jim at Stratton
Speaker 1: Coole or at col Stratton depending on the social media thing,
Speaker 1: And at the west Side Comedy Theater doing a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff outside Comedy dot com the calendar. Look for shows,
Speaker 1: Jen Murry, you've got some shows at west Side. I
Speaker 1: sure do second one the month, That's what she said,
Speaker 1: eight p m. And go fourthnes the month eight pm
Speaker 1: the house team and then uh, what she said is
Speaker 1: that an all gal stand up comedy ladies, no boys
Speaker 1: allowed except in the audience. Please come Ohn excellent Mark Gagleyard, yes, sir.
Speaker 1: Uh find me on Twitter at Mark gags Uh the
Speaker 1: last Wednesday of the month, The Dynasty Typewriter and Blood
Speaker 1: and Treasure now streaming on Amazon Prime, season two coming
Speaker 1: like summer. Dynasty Typewriter dot Com. Dynasty Typewriter dot com
Speaker 1: right on, James Heeny bear supply at the west Side
Speaker 1: Comedy Theater from time to time. I'm in pretty pretty
Speaker 1: pony mission in profitable Fridays and Saturdays. But the real
Speaker 1: James dot Com is the best way to find out
Speaker 1: what's going on. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: As always, Joey Greer. I want to give a shout
Speaker 1: out to Andrew Richards at the drew Print on Instagram
Speaker 1: midtle video of Marcus with the episode that was the
Speaker 1: greatest Ships Alive. But yeah, this brand new. I think
Speaker 1: it's like the second animated from our how comy this
Speaker 1: podcast us. This guy's great. Say his name again. His
Speaker 1: name is Andrew Richards at the drew Print. At the
Speaker 1: drew Print had Instagram shout out to you. Thank you
Speaker 1: for doing that. That was awesome. Um, and let's thank
Speaker 1: our engineer at the Stars, Doug Bank, our post sound
Speaker 1: design artist Rafaelbrito, our producer Sophie Lichterman, and of course
Speaker 1: I heard media. I encourage all of you to write
Speaker 1: a review, tell everyone you've ever met about us, and
Speaker 1: right to us. Yeah at your name here at Alchemy
Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here at Alchemy this
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm Kevin Pollock. Thank you was always until
Speaker 1: next time and a bo