Speaker 1: Welcome back another episode? Oh al can be? There's that? Well,
Speaker 1: the best of my knowledge, if you carry the seven
Speaker 1: and Coujo the nine, it should equal one in the
Speaker 1: seventh of Stephen Kidd. But I digress. Let's meet our outcomists,
Speaker 1: shall we? You know, Particula quarter, please lay a load
Speaker 1: of Vanessa. Who who's your favorite author? And why? Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: too big of a question. Um one of your favorites?
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. Well, I've been reading a
Speaker 1: lot of young adult books, like kids books again and accepted.
Speaker 1: So there's a book you guys have to read it.
Speaker 1: It's called The Wild Robot. It's a kid's book, but
Speaker 1: a chapter book. But it's an amazing, amazing book. I
Speaker 1: have a feeling it's going to be a massive, massive
Speaker 1: movie at some point. But it's such a beautiful story.
Speaker 1: I think it's Dave Brown that wrote it. And there's
Speaker 1: a sequel, Wild about Escapes. It's the best, So Wild
Speaker 1: Robot check it out. Guyst tip, stop the madness and
Speaker 1: say hello to Craig at cows Cow. When you were
Speaker 1: a weed lad, what was the family tradition of when
Speaker 1: you and your siblings could leave your rooms Christmas? Morning,
Speaker 1: race out to the tree to see what Santa had
Speaker 1: brought in the night. Uh. We would read a chapter
Speaker 1: of the Wild Robot. Uh. My mom had a lot
Speaker 1: of guilt about about not raising us with religion, so
Speaker 1: we had to read Jesus's story on Christmas Eve. We
Speaker 1: would each open one present on Christmas Eve. Uh, and
Speaker 1: then I had to read Jesus's story. Yeah. Auto biography
Speaker 1: Wutten by Sydney Sheldon. Yeah, I don't know. Uh, it
Speaker 1: was well then it was a totally secular event. After that,
Speaker 1: it's like we got that out of the way. But
Speaker 1: in the morning, Devinone just rushed out of the room.
Speaker 1: Everyone remember the blood on his hands, go for it. Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we recreate the Last Supper style, and then we listened
Speaker 1: to Jesus Christ Superstar. That's too much Jesus. And then
Speaker 1: the rest of the year not so much. Yeah. I remember,
Speaker 1: like my sisters are younger, so I remember just sleeping
Speaker 1: as late as I could. At a certain point, I
Speaker 1: wasn't I wasn't that excited, you know, because I was
Speaker 1: so traumatized by the crucifixion the night before. Fair enough,
Speaker 1: those who loved him the most turned on him. Someone
Speaker 1: wake up James Cheeney because I'm about to introduce him.
Speaker 1: Jimmy Bojangles. How's about a question like we used to do?
Speaker 1: Here goes James. Can I call you Kenny bunk Board,
Speaker 1: Kenny bunk Board? Yeah, sure, okay, thank you. And last,
Speaker 1: but only when he's making sweet love the least, Joey Greer.
Speaker 1: Let's welcome back, Joe Diddley. Do you feel me now?
Speaker 1: I do? Okay? Good, all right, let's get to our
Speaker 1: first scene. All today's in suggestions or gathered from your
Speaker 1: listener emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please write
Speaker 1: to the podcast that your name here at alchemy this
Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Speaker 1: And please dear Jesus for Karkowski saying, um right, a
Speaker 1: review the show, won't you take some time show us
Speaker 1: some love because that's what the show needs to get
Speaker 1: more support. But man, oh man, can we use your
Speaker 1: support in order to continue? That's not a threat. Support
Speaker 1: like wild Cat Willie who said You're guaranteed to laugh,
Speaker 1: highly recommended for anybody who has an opportunity listen while
Speaker 1: working a service job, a robotic job, a job they dislike,
Speaker 1: or is a commuter. How many stars for all the
Speaker 1: stars that they could give us, which is five? Wild
Speaker 1: cat Willie welcome. Our first scene today comes from a
Speaker 1: listener named Jessica, who wrote, Hello, I hope you all
Speaker 1: are as good friends as I imagine you are. It
Speaker 1: was very sweet. I love listening to you, and I
Speaker 1: think it's so funny when Kevin prod is the rest
Speaker 1: of you on by saying list and an insert random
Speaker 1: number list of those daring a skit. I like numbers.
Speaker 1: I actually love Vanessa's grungy old woman voice. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't dare look up pictures of you, guys.
Speaker 1: I like to keep my own images of your spirit animals.
Speaker 1: We're all way more attractive than you would think. She
Speaker 1: lists our spirit animals Kevin father baron a tuxedo, Craig
Speaker 1: deep voiced squirrel hiding in an air event pretending to
Speaker 1: speak as a god, Janessa leather wearing vampire hunter I,
Speaker 1: Joey Dolphins salesman with Elvis's hair, and James Shivering Seal
Speaker 1: the checks out. Um he did add one for Chris
Speaker 1: tea party cup filled with the kid's air tea. Anybody
Speaker 1: know what that is Oh, it's just like fake faking it. Uh.
Speaker 1: And carl An the girl next door if she was
Speaker 1: an energizer, Bunny, that's true. I love you all. My
Speaker 1: nowhere near done, by the way, the missive, I love
Speaker 1: you all. My boyfriend's nickname is Guppy and he has long,
Speaker 1: luxurious hair, and he's easy to remember. The people that
Speaker 1: are pizza place always make a big deal when they
Speaker 1: see him, and apparently I'm chopped liver. They always get
Speaker 1: my order wrong, always get his correct. The final straw
Speaker 1: was when they made a pizza from scratch for me
Speaker 1: and had no saucer cheese on it. They gave me,
Speaker 1: aren't bred. I'd love to see your interpretation of this scenario. Sorry,
Speaker 1: this menches this so long. I'm excited to email you all.
Speaker 1: I won't be offended if you don't read all of it.
Speaker 1: And I didn't. I actually cut out about a third. Okay,
Speaker 1: I love you guys. Please don't ever stop talking to
Speaker 1: each other. Jessica Green, all right, it's Max. Who's Max?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Excuse me? I need to talk to the
Speaker 1: fucking manager. Alright, stand over the side if you wouldn't mind.
Speaker 1: So we got a long line of Okay, I'll stand
Speaker 1: over here and wait. All right, thank you? Yes, hi,
Speaker 1: you next Customer're gonna get you? Remember me? You know
Speaker 1: what I want? Oh right, Jessica, jess Nica, jess Nica, pizza.
Speaker 1: I always find that start to remember. Hold on one second,
Speaker 1: you remember my order? I do, and we're gonna jump
Speaker 1: all over James when you say pizza's up. If you
Speaker 1: could specify what kind of pie, that'd be great. Man,
Speaker 1: you're just saying pizza. You got it? Thanks? Uh, jess Nica. Alright,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna get you the margarita pizza. We got
Speaker 1: a Christmas pizza order? No, did you have a Christmas pizza?
Speaker 1: I didn't have a Christmas pizza? You know me? All right?
Speaker 1: I'm in here three times a week. My boyfriend looks
Speaker 1: like and see the guy with the hair of the
Speaker 1: beautiful hair. Apparently not, it's just just Nika, who's a
Speaker 1: this gal? Right here? Are you the guy that cooks
Speaker 1: the pizza? Sa? I'm just making come back over here?
Speaker 1: Who does not hear? Um? He's on a work thing.
Speaker 1: I was coming alone. Okay, PiZZ up? Okay, so let
Speaker 1: me just take your order to just tell me what
Speaker 1: you'd like, we do know what you want, but I'd
Speaker 1: rather just to make sure it's perfect. Okay, as long
Speaker 1: as it's just a game, just to play gamebscribe what
Speaker 1: you'd like on your pizza? I would like the Alabama
Speaker 1: with a twist, Alabama with the twist? Okay, great, what
Speaker 1: all Aba with the twist? Does someone who to speak
Speaker 1: to the manager? Yeah, I'd like to speak to the manager.
Speaker 1: I'm the manager. Listens, enters ourselves first, like civil humans.
Speaker 1: I'm Kelly Thompson. I'm a single mom. I'm struggling, but
Speaker 1: I'm doing my best. How about you. Well, my name
Speaker 1: is Robert and I'm a father. Okay, let's connect. No,
Speaker 1: I'm connected. Listen, there's I have some I'm a father
Speaker 1: of two kids and I've got a wife. It's an
Speaker 1: actually really good life that I'm living. Congratulated. I wish
Speaker 1: I could say the same for me. You know, this
Speaker 1: is my this is my kid right here. Those teeth
Speaker 1: are never coming in. We found out. Yeah, we just
Speaker 1: had an extray Alright, Well I'm really really she lost
Speaker 1: her baby too, she says, Mom, we wanted a new
Speaker 1: teeth coming none, I'm not coming. Well, I'm really let
Speaker 1: me know how I can help you out. You get
Speaker 1: a beautiful, beautiful life. Well, I bought I was having
Speaker 1: a pizza party for my daughter's birthday. Lucky girl. You
Speaker 1: know I never had birthday parties. Well okay, well, I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry to hear that. Girl. I'm an orphan. And
Speaker 1: look look at these pictures here, These are the pictures
Speaker 1: I've taken of the pizzas. They were all shaped like penises.
Speaker 1: This is not an accident. This was on purpose. Are
Speaker 1: you sure they came from this establishment? Look at the
Speaker 1: pizza box? Where else would it come from? I want
Speaker 1: to talk to the cook. I want to I want Okay,
Speaker 1: I talked to the manager, and I just want to
Speaker 1: take another moment to look at each other's eyes. Okay,
Speaker 1: I want you to hear me say I'm really sorry
Speaker 1: about the you know, provocative shape of those pies. But
Speaker 1: I want to remind you you've got a beautiful life
Speaker 1: and this is just a blip in the radar. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm really angry though, I feel like the chef over.
Speaker 1: Can we hug a long time since somebody's touched me?
Speaker 1: That wasn't a hit? Well, I'm a married man. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll give you a hug. All right, Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get the chef and you can dream him out if
Speaker 1: you need to. You know, well, I just they don't
Speaker 1: reflect on me and I'll lose my job. But it's
Speaker 1: worth if it's with it to you. Come on over, Tim, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Hey, I was here yesterday. Okay, what's
Speaker 1: what's going on? This is a guy, great guy. He's
Speaker 1: got a wife and kids. That's money to have birthday
Speaker 1: parties for the kids. Uh, now you can continue, sir.
Speaker 1: He's got a good life. Just just thinking about my
Speaker 1: family and how don't bring it up. It's too sad man,
Speaker 1: my whole family. Um, it's made of bread. And uh,
Speaker 1: there was a huge rainstorm that came over. We were
Speaker 1: outside picking game. We didn't think anything of it. What
Speaker 1: happens when bread gets wet. You don't have to spell
Speaker 1: it out for him. And they got so suppy and
Speaker 1: so so wet, and uh, let's just hear his complaint.
Speaker 1: He's gotta you know, everybody's life is different. Good team
Speaker 1: on the field. They didn't know what it wasn't they
Speaker 1: just smashed them all of days. Oh my god, my
Speaker 1: family just so every day I work here and I
Speaker 1: work with bread and thinking about them, and I do
Speaker 1: it because I just want to be a little closer
Speaker 1: that my family. What's going on? How can help you? Were?
Speaker 1: Are you the guy cooking the pizzas yesterday? Sorry interrupt?
Speaker 1: Have you done any acting? Sir? I'm a casting director
Speaker 1: and there's a movie shooting in town. I just came
Speaker 1: here to get some pizza. But I saw your face
Speaker 1: and you've got a perfect Have you ever done any acting?
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, but a couple of days work and
Speaker 1: your face is just perfect. What we're looking? What's your name?
Speaker 1: My name is Robert. Robert. Let me give you my card. Okay, great?
Speaker 1: So this is the guy that's gonna suck the horse? Yeah,
Speaker 1: okay great. I don't think I can do this. I
Speaker 1: get the horse ready. She's in the mood. You gotta
Speaker 1: move fast. She won't stay in the mood long. We
Speaker 1: gotta move fast. I'm a married man. I'm a married man.
Speaker 1: That is not what was dilated, pulsing and puffy. We
Speaker 1: gotta move fast, dad, Can we just get out of here? Listen?
Speaker 1: You know what, we probably shouldn't have brought the kids
Speaker 1: to set today. Movie magic. Let's go, dad, I'm so bored. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: well here playing play on your iPad and back it up. Nelly,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to move fast on. This horse is
Speaker 1: not going to stay with me? Can I can I
Speaker 1: pass on this rule? Up? Oh? I know you? No,
Speaker 1: you don't know me. There's no way whatever. Oh, don't
Speaker 1: look at me like that. I wasn't looking at you
Speaker 1: like anything. I saw a similar man a horse in
Speaker 1: a movie. I didn't know it was a porn horse
Speaker 1: movie when I went into the theater. I didn't know
Speaker 1: I was going to be starring in a porn horse movie. Okay,
Speaker 1: everything moves fast, and I just wanted a night off.
Speaker 1: You know. I bought it. Take it to the one
Speaker 1: rated on a movie because I thought I needed a
Speaker 1: grown up time and okay, how many? Just one? Girl?
Speaker 1: Is not a girl night okay? And this is for
Speaker 1: horse cock. Yeah, I'll take one for if that's the one. Um.
Speaker 1: Just need to warn you. Um, this movie is a
Speaker 1: is you know what it's I don't want. Just don't
Speaker 1: warn me. Surprise me. I'll take one for horse Okay.
Speaker 1: The minute served alcohol? Here? Do you have any margaritas? Oh?
Speaker 1: I wish, I wish. Well I'm gonna go see horse Cock.
Speaker 1: Have you seen it? They don't let us watch the
Speaker 1: movies here, so that's too bad. I'll report back. Please
Speaker 1: enjoy this summer when the time is right and the
Speaker 1: mood is good. The only thing that you need, Captain.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell we're gonna do. There's
Speaker 1: too many on the streets. We gotta find this horse.
Speaker 1: Stat just killed too many people with its face. Imagine
Speaker 1: the damage you could do if it's beenest get around.
Speaker 1: Then I can't. I don't know what the hell you're
Speaker 1: talking about. I haven't seen the thing. There's a horse
Speaker 1: running around town and it's mad and it's hard as hell.
Speaker 1: All right, I think I can fix this situation. I
Speaker 1: think I can fix this situation. Okay, he's gonna fix it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. That's the guy who fuck that male horse.
Speaker 1: But it was in the first ten minutes of the movie.
Speaker 1: You know the truth is is that was it was.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta take some hard Please don't bring him
Speaker 1: over here, the guy from a horse car. I'm not
Speaker 1: looking for celebrity life here. Then you get discovered at
Speaker 1: this very pizza parlor. I watched the behind the scenes
Speaker 1: stuff yeah, this is unfortunately where I've got casted. Yes,
Speaker 1: I had the face of a horse. You don't want
Speaker 1: to get recognized. Thing, don't go to the pizza parlor
Speaker 1: where you got discovered. I guess that's a good point.
Speaker 1: Really took you like a champ. Honestly, it was me.
Speaker 1: It really had to work. That horse was ready for it.
Speaker 1: It was honestly, I think that it had been trained.
Speaker 1: I had at least. I have never watched, you know,
Speaker 1: a porn horse movie, and never since. That was the
Speaker 1: only time. But I'll tell you what, I stayed for
Speaker 1: the whole film. The storyline was compelling. Well, that's why
Speaker 1: I ended up sticking with it. I just it was
Speaker 1: hard bringing my bringing my family and to see it.
Speaker 1: But I made them avers eyes. You're going to follow
Speaker 1: the story, sweetheart? How can we go? I'm bored? No, no,
Speaker 1: my scene, I'm about to have my scene. There's no
Speaker 1: WiFi for the iPad. Okay, okay, here's some eminem's. Honey, honey,
Speaker 1: why are you pulling down your pants? Actually get the
Speaker 1: kids your muffs? I muffs? But how do you watch this?
Speaker 1: And we had to we had actually had to leave
Speaker 1: the theater. It was embarrassing leaving my own show. That's
Speaker 1: too bad you brought your kids. Well, I mean it's hard.
Speaker 1: We whatever this guy wants because he did that horse
Speaker 1: dirty and I owe him. It's so hard to end
Speaker 1: a scene like this when no one wants to leave
Speaker 1: the party. Scene too comes to us. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: The horse doesn't matter. I don't women horses. I was
Speaker 1: just trying to cast a movie and Joey made it
Speaker 1: about a horse's guy. I don't know if that's what happened. Okay,
Speaker 1: I missed under This is the guy's gonna scene too
Speaker 1: comes from Sarah, who rode Hi, everyone, I admit I
Speaker 1: resisted your podcast. Mkevin's ads wore me down, needless? What
Speaker 1: what ads of wearing people down? Needless to say? I
Speaker 1: love it. It makes me think of the old radio shows.
Speaker 1: Allah the Mercury Theater. From the last segment, Orson Wells
Speaker 1: is spinning. If he could horsen Wells wait for it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I have seen suggestion for you all. I started a
Speaker 1: new job as an admissions officer and about to travel
Speaker 1: on my first international recruiting event. I'd love to get
Speaker 1: a peek at what to expect being an admission's neophyte
Speaker 1: as this crazy admissions recruitment season gets started. Thanks to
Speaker 1: keep the episodes coming, Sarah in Brooklyn. Now, I looked
Speaker 1: up admissions officer because I was a little confused, to
Speaker 1: make sure we all knew they work for an institution
Speaker 1: of higher education to recruit new students from a variety
Speaker 1: of venues. Alright, great, so I got free pins, I
Speaker 1: got free hats, pre sure anything you want, and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, so like the university itself is if just
Speaker 1: if you take a pen, just hang on for a second,
Speaker 1: what's the teacher student ratio? The teacher student ratio right now?
Speaker 1: Is that we got about let's say out of ten
Speaker 1: that there's ten teachers. Team there there can be if
Speaker 1: you can, you can start it, no problem. So there's
Speaker 1: ten teachers, there's there's students. Out of the ten. If
Speaker 1: there's ten teachers. Well, if there's ten team, you did
Speaker 1: you talk to the other woman because that an other
Speaker 1: woman also were talking about a ski team? Did you
Speaker 1: leave or and the only woman? All right, well, if
Speaker 1: there's teacher, well you can start it. If you want,
Speaker 1: you can start. And so there's college Oh well no one,
Speaker 1: no one's too old. For college. So if there's ten,
Speaker 1: if there's my whole life now, well, well you got
Speaker 1: a I got a family. Here, you can take the
Speaker 1: online courses. There's online courses. And why do you keep
Speaker 1: saying if there's ten teachers, are there ten teachers? Well,
Speaker 1: there's there's more than there's more than ten. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to make it a number that you would for
Speaker 1: every ten teachers. Usually it's for every one teacher. There's
Speaker 1: how many students exactly, But you did the right shows
Speaker 1: a little differently though, I just add a zero. So
Speaker 1: let's sell ten teachers. There's how many students. Well let's
Speaker 1: let's how many students pretend teachers. So there's ten teachers,
Speaker 1: just like there's anywhere between. Hey, folks will be with
Speaker 1: you again in Justinmnick, Larry, can I talk you for
Speaker 1: a second. Do need more buttons? More moons? I need
Speaker 1: you to come down that scenario where you just settled down.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you have a lot of questions. You
Speaker 1: have no answer. I have no I know what I'm
Speaker 1: doing here. Let's put your back in the floor. Hello. Question,
Speaker 1: if I was to go to online university, is it
Speaker 1: a college or university? And is it accredited and pretend teachers.
Speaker 1: How many students are there? And are there janitorial staff
Speaker 1: or is that something I'd have to look into online?
Speaker 1: Isn't accredited? Let's start there. Yes it is. Okay, we
Speaker 1: have credits. You don't even have iris, you just have pupils. Yep,
Speaker 1: my eyes have been dilated for a long time. Thank
Speaker 1: you to thank you to mcclusk University. They helped me
Speaker 1: remove that and focus. So we have accreditation. There are janitors,
Speaker 1: uh and and and Okay, let me help you out
Speaker 1: with these guys here. It's a great job you're doing
Speaker 1: over here, Terry, do need more pins? We we got enough?
Speaker 1: How many servants? So you've done enough? And I feel
Speaker 1: like you're losing people here, So let me just show
Speaker 1: you how this little conversation. What are the most popular
Speaker 1: majors at McCluskey, Well, engineering, bioengineering, uh, making mustard. Really, honestly,
Speaker 1: you should let me handle this and just follow along
Speaker 1: like a shadow situation. The computer sciences program. Absolutely, it's
Speaker 1: one of the most prestigious computer science programs. That was
Speaker 1: kind o woman that was talking about the ski ski team.
Speaker 1: This is my first time at the Boo. I am
Speaker 1: so sorry, just to calm down for a second. In
Speaker 1: a wheelchair. You can't ski in a wheelchair with an
Speaker 1: attitude like that. I'm getting out of here. N miss listen,
Speaker 1: you are ruining our chances of having a full staff
Speaker 1: of students. You're sexually can ski in a wheelchair? Should
Speaker 1: I tell her? Yeah? I take some of these pins.
Speaker 1: Take some of these pins. Don't careful. These pins are sharp. Okay,
Speaker 1: you just you just pricked that person's hands all over
Speaker 1: the place. I just wonder I want to know about
Speaker 1: mcclisk University or more of the university. I have wonder
Speaker 1: if you're a saboteur from some other school. I'm not,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I love this school. We're sending you in
Speaker 1: this weekend for what? What do you think we got
Speaker 1: to sink? Mclusk Are they doing that them damn selves?
Speaker 1: Have you seen their student a teacher to teacher to
Speaker 1: student ratio? No, it's competitive, to say the least. We
Speaker 1: need you to go in there with the buttons. Oh ship,
Speaker 1: you set your shirt. You set your shirt, Troy. But nonetheless,
Speaker 1: I have a feeling that you're trying to lose people
Speaker 1: because they are leaving here, like we've got a sea
Speaker 1: food grading in a restaurant. No, I wouldn't talk to me. Okay,
Speaker 1: how do to go to college? Here? Oh, that's a
Speaker 1: every capasture as I take it. Just to go to culture,
Speaker 1: well with an application and take it, but I don't test. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: well we'll take you. Yes, you're in wait you well,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have some paper. That's fine, that's fine. Alright, agent,
Speaker 1: let me talk you through your your gear here. So
Speaker 1: you're going to have you're going to have hats, pains brochures.
Speaker 1: But look at the pin. Open it up. It's uh,
Speaker 1: it'll prick them with a small abounds of of a
Speaker 1: lethal device which will put them on down. Which nanotechnology
Speaker 1: I'm talking about nano techs. We're gonna prick a student
Speaker 1: and those nano butts are gonna go into their body
Speaker 1: and start eating away with their bones structures. How't you
Speaker 1: tell you? Can? We come over the list of just
Speaker 1: a little inventory if you don't mind some of the
Speaker 1: items that you'll be providing to the agents. We wer hats, well, pins,
Speaker 1: if I may, you list them very quickly. The hats,
Speaker 1: for example, are you quite certain what the hats can
Speaker 1: do for the agents? Yeah? You know, like like a
Speaker 1: Bluefields hit. Right, you know job tossed the hat and
Speaker 1: that's what I mean our job. Yeah. I hate to
Speaker 1: interrupt you guys, but you're saying you're going to be
Speaker 1: giving other people deadly weapons. The agent is going to
Speaker 1: be handing out deadly weapons. That is the thing. Ideally,
Speaker 1: know these are these are at the booth with the
Speaker 1: agent so he can fits. I'll take one, take a
Speaker 1: creak like a few of these, yes, please take them.
Speaker 1: You are going way over budget. You you need to
Speaker 1: have conversations with these people before you start giving freak
Speaker 1: things getting things away? Did you give things away? Did
Speaker 1: most of it? We need more pins il a pen
Speaker 1: Just wait a second, you know what you know? Here's
Speaker 1: pin offs of your shirt? You prick me? You can
Speaker 1: have this? Why not? Fun? I need I need a recall.
Speaker 1: I need a recall it. Who are you talking to?
Speaker 1: The gonna eat my bones? What are you doing? Shut
Speaker 1: them eating? What's happening? I'm not sure, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna he's pink out the mouth. He's a little pile,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, a little pile of which shoes under it? Well,
Speaker 1: this doesn't usually melted shoes. Those are three shoes. I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to close the booth for a minute,
Speaker 1: but if you want, you can go onto the online
Speaker 1: registration and get any information. I'm too old to college.
Speaker 1: Step up to Tim's University and sign up for a
Speaker 1: seventy five thousand dollars scholarship. Can I help anybody at all?
Speaker 1: Tim's University? Hey Tim, I'm sorry to do this, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna have to shutter the booth. Why well,
Speaker 1: it's it's just you, right, Yeah, you're in a centric
Speaker 1: billionaire giving people seventy five dollars to come hang out
Speaker 1: at your mansion and teach them what I imagine is
Speaker 1: what from the brochure looks like fencing swimming. It's great
Speaker 1: that you understood the breakdown of the brochure. I don't
Speaker 1: understand what the problem is. And who are you again
Speaker 1: that you can shutter my booth. I'm Tom Harmer. I'm
Speaker 1: the gentleman who's running the convention space hammer. This is
Speaker 1: the booth you want me to shut her? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: this has already been decided. It looks yes, sir. I
Speaker 1: can't defend myself and I can't explain why I'm doing
Speaker 1: what you could bring him to court. What the hell
Speaker 1: are you? Sorry? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned the
Speaker 1: Mr Hammer. Mr Hammer, I'm from McCluskey University, and look,
Speaker 1: I'm going to melt. My aid just melted. If you
Speaker 1: could send to I can't feel I gotta find a lawyer.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the coil. He's a billionaire.
Speaker 1: He's gonna drown me. Maybe you want to come to
Speaker 1: the university. Would you like to teach a course? Uh?
Speaker 1: Starting salary six hundred thousand dollars a year. Really you
Speaker 1: could bring your own assistant. She starts at two. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is a great teacher student ratio. It's just me
Speaker 1: and you. Yeah, yeah, so one to one to ten
Speaker 1: if you had a zero. I'd also like to think
Speaker 1: of myself as part of the ratio and his assistant
Speaker 1: to one. Yeah. So we're really just getting okay, can
Speaker 1: we get through this? Because I have fencing in yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, let's just call it. Let's just say
Speaker 1: today was just the meet and greet. I gave you
Speaker 1: the syllabus, right, so I'm all dressed in my fencing gear.
Speaker 1: Am I not needed anymore to help teach? Well? This
Speaker 1: isn't fencing, this is this is construction with the mind.
Speaker 1: So we teach you how to build objects in your
Speaker 1: head and then if you want to do that. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that shot you administered to me, that was the syllabus. Yes,
Speaker 1: so inside there are floating small pieces of paper, so
Speaker 1: they're in my blood stream. Now, okay, so you should
Speaker 1: innately know the schedule. Okay, okay, are these autobots or
Speaker 1: what are they? No? Nano, it's nanotechnology. Floating paper will
Speaker 1: be assembled in your mind in time. Why have you
Speaker 1: come into today? We've got your medical information that we need.
Speaker 1: But what are the symptoms that you're feeling? Um? First
Speaker 1: of all, I'm thinking about paper a lot. Um. I'm
Speaker 1: more more than normal, more way more than normal. So
Speaker 1: I don't know whire to this. How often would you
Speaker 1: think about paper? Rarely? Rarely would I consciously think about it?
Speaker 1: Like occasionally if like I ran out, Hey babe, what
Speaker 1: you think about paper? Again? I think you need to
Speaker 1: talk to somebody. I'm not going to go to the dark.
Speaker 1: You need to go to the door. You never go
Speaker 1: to the doctor, right, I guess it is time for
Speaker 1: a check up? Paper? Stop? What's stop saying? That. What
Speaker 1: did I freaking legal pad the doctor. Okay, so my
Speaker 1: wife made me right and we thank her for that. Um, well,
Speaker 1: i'll tell you what. We're gonna take a little bloody
Speaker 1: and we'll just run some time. I've never seen a
Speaker 1: fucking report like this. I mean, what's your blood samples?
Speaker 1: But it's what are you saying? It's construction paper? The
Speaker 1: blood is construction paper. That's hilarious, But seriously, what are
Speaker 1: you saying. I don't make jokes, No, you don't. The
Speaker 1: blood is construction paper. You're saying you're seeing construction paper
Speaker 1: within the blood. The blood is construction paper. It's I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: the look at this. Look I'm gonna look look at
Speaker 1: this that should be pouring out there. No, I had
Speaker 1: to unfold it. That is blood, that is on taste blood.
Speaker 1: Are you sure you didn't switch samples of some kind
Speaker 1: and someone gave you a vial full of construction that's
Speaker 1: what happened. No, this is blood, that's construction paper. Okay,
Speaker 1: then you're fine with this being possible. Okay, So the
Speaker 1: diagnosis is, well, it's tricky. It's one we've not seen before. Um,
Speaker 1: it's no surprise to us. While you've been thinking about
Speaker 1: paper more than usual. It seems someone injected you with
Speaker 1: you know, it was impossible. I left this off my
Speaker 1: medical history. But like two weeks two weeks ago, I
Speaker 1: was attending a college at an eccentric billionaire's house because
Speaker 1: I wanted to study fencing and swimming. I sat in university. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Tim's verse. I see the commercials all the time. I
Speaker 1: know that great commercial budget on those commercials. Do you
Speaker 1: like to swim? Do you love to fence? Are you
Speaker 1: looking for an accredited university with an amazing ratio? Huh?
Speaker 1: Call now, I'm Tim, that's crazy. Do you see that guy,
Speaker 1: the guy from horse Cock in that commercial that? Hey man,
Speaker 1: why were you just talking back to the TV when
Speaker 1: the commercials on were just answering? Like those were real questions?
Speaker 1: Were there a question? Real? Right? Yeah? Who would you
Speaker 1: go to this guy's university? Anyway? Dollars? You wait a second? What?
Speaker 1: Yeh me? Are you guys smoking weed in your door? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to smoke weed, Samson? So what open
Speaker 1: the door? Why? Because you're in big trouble. We've already
Speaker 1: told you we're smoking weed. What do you want from inside? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Fuck a horse I'm not stop smoking that week. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're stopping now. Jesus, what the hell is so funny
Speaker 1: that it's a ponzi scheme? They wouldn't do it. I
Speaker 1: want to Let's let us go online just for a
Speaker 1: goof sign up and get out of here and go
Speaker 1: to Tim's University. Yeah, absolutely so there could be fish.
Speaker 1: What else? Uh? Well, they just said, yeah, the commercial
Speaker 1: you were talking to had fishing's fencing. She said that
Speaker 1: I get a suit, a suit. She didn't say that.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. Let's pull it up online Tim's University. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. Fencing. Yeah. Uh, blood transfusions. What's that about, babe?
Speaker 1: They gave me one week? Wait, what do you mean paper?
Speaker 1: Well it's still happening. Well, I know they can't do
Speaker 1: anything about it. They tried to get in with scissors.
Speaker 1: But you're here. Have this paper glue. Drink the glue.
Speaker 1: Drink the glue. I don't know what I'm doing, it's
Speaker 1: just sort of my intuition. Press you come back. Are
Speaker 1: you even in there? Glue glue? I need a doctor,
Speaker 1: a doctor paper glue. Hello, construction. You're probably wondering why
Speaker 1: you are here to let me introduce you to the
Speaker 1: other two people in the room. Paper, This gentleman across
Speaker 1: from you, I was a happy family man living in Pittsburgh,
Speaker 1: and then we injected him with small, tiny scissors meat scissors.
Speaker 1: Oh no, this guy can kick my ass. This gentleman
Speaker 1: on your left, you can. Really, he has been turned
Speaker 1: into wrong. I'm not scared of that guy at all.
Speaker 1: Would you like to play a game. Let's play a game.
Speaker 1: Shall we kill me? I'm afraid get quick? You for
Speaker 1: an extent a billionaire. He's in the mood for school
Speaker 1: yard fun. That's where you wanted the picture. You want
Speaker 1: to play Settlers of Catan or something like that, or Lowsey.
Speaker 1: Really that close start. It was being friendly. It's not
Speaker 1: close too dry rocks not happy. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've noticed, says, just stop banging on rock. It's not
Speaker 1: gonna happen, paper, Paper, Yes, now to compete my assistant tonight.
Speaker 1: I'm not the assistant to play my wife. I love
Speaker 1: to call my assistant. Will you play Rochambo? Are you
Speaker 1: familiar with this game? No? Well, watch you're on the
Speaker 1: same page and going up. He didn't make enough scissor
Speaker 1: try it again. I have rocked see she win? Would
Speaker 1: you go on go or on the last word we go?
Speaker 1: We don't have we do it at this point? Is
Speaker 1: we go on? Three? We don't say. Some people say shoot,
Speaker 1: some people do, but we just go rock. You have
Speaker 1: a lot of question right, But why are you in
Speaker 1: some sort of pain? Oh? My organs or stone be
Speaker 1: back for an eccentric billionaire to play a little game.
Speaker 1: Hey are you guys? Are you guys looking up Tim's University?
Speaker 1: In there? You're not supposed to go on the internet.
Speaker 1: Stuck in a horse pot? Smokers? Hey, what's going on? Sampsons? Hey,
Speaker 1: you guys are supposed to be using the free WiFi
Speaker 1: to go on to other universities. Point of free WiFi,
Speaker 1: we're not supposed to use it. You can check your email,
Speaker 1: you can do a lot of stuff. But what do
Speaker 1: you mean we can't look at other universities web pages
Speaker 1: if we're paying for this. This isn't a restricted internet, man,
Speaker 1: now is it? China? You guys don't want to get
Speaker 1: university anyways. It's nothing but trouble there. You don't get
Speaker 1: a real degree, You don't get a real education. My
Speaker 1: dad went there. What happened? Well, we haven't seen him
Speaker 1: since he used to be a pretty sharp guy. But
Speaker 1: he might have just left you did hear how? No
Speaker 1: he didn't. He turned to stone. What it's true, but
Speaker 1: don't mean he turned to stone. Well the last we heard,
Speaker 1: as he said, all of his organs returning granted or
Speaker 1: I think it was just regular old stone, Like what's
Speaker 1: a normal stone? Like? What probably is it? Course is
Speaker 1: a crystals still stone? But it's not like right, It's
Speaker 1: more like it's like a rock orum and all boulder.
Speaker 1: This university sucks. Don't we know this is a good university?
Speaker 1: Like I didn't know between China and Korea. This sucks.
Speaker 1: University blows because I can't see internet in the ways
Speaker 1: we want to. Very are we supposed to learn if
Speaker 1: you can't use the internet? Hey guys, guys, I just
Speaker 1: got on the ski team and thank you Sarah in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: Our final scene of the day comes from Samuel, who wrote, you,
Speaker 1: guys make my normal day to day job making drugs
Speaker 1: in a lab a lot more enjoyable lab. Now for
Speaker 1: the suggestion. A man with the short term memory loss
Speaker 1: issue is trying to buy mouse traps from a salesperson
Speaker 1: who also has a short term memory loss issue. Okay, ps,
Speaker 1: keep up the great work. Don't listen to what others
Speaker 1: are saying. James, that shirt doesn't look bad at all
Speaker 1: on you. Thank you, Samuel so perceptive. Yes, so these
Speaker 1: are all for big rats, little rats, tiny rats. These
Speaker 1: are rat traps or mousetraps. These I was looking for mousetraps. Uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: these are rat traps. These are for big rats, little rats.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I was looking for mouse traps. I don't
Speaker 1: think nobody should be trapping either of them. Nobody asked
Speaker 1: me were I guess I'll just stay in the corner.
Speaker 1: Then hang out by the fucking mops or whatever, hang
Speaker 1: out all the mops todd All. Yeah, so you were
Speaker 1: looking for rat traps. Yeah, yeah, so we got anything
Speaker 1: you want to hear from, you know, big rats, little rats,
Speaker 1: tiny rats, micey rats. You know. Sorry, do you work here?
Speaker 1: I do. I'm looking for rat traps. Okay, yeah, we
Speaker 1: got little rats, tiny rats. I'm sorry. Rats have pretty
Speaker 1: advanced societies, my three archies. Yeah, we know that guy.
Speaker 1: You want to kill them, well, you are rats, trust
Speaker 1: our babies up and outfit. Yeah I knew that you
Speaker 1: want to kill them. Well, I mean I have kind
Speaker 1: of an infestation at my uh uh what is it? Huh?
Speaker 1: You said you have an infestation? Oh my god? Where?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Where do you live? Where do I liven? Family?
Speaker 1: You know? A man rat will carry around a small
Speaker 1: ton of little twiggly piece of paper as a wedding
Speaker 1: band for his entire lot. He will marry up to
Speaker 1: three women, but he will be faithful to them. And
Speaker 1: with her best selling book, Rat The History of Man
Speaker 1: and How It Connects snoof and law lots a little much,
Speaker 1: turn it down, and now you're a fascination with rats, goes.
Speaker 1: It's got to relax. It's all right. It looks like
Speaker 1: it looks like that's the normal soft mouth lifts heaven. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looks like it in flame for some reason, it's not.
Speaker 1: I just can't get a zig flame back my mouth. Right.
Speaker 1: Your tongue should fit normally in your mouth. I got
Speaker 1: stuck in the wrap, Tripp. And then I'll talk some
Speaker 1: mother him. I can get a bang flame back of
Speaker 1: my mouth, and that's all. No, I got the bigger
Speaker 1: interview to die bad, Kevin. I don't just read the
Speaker 1: book and you handle this guddamn mouse thing rap. Then
Speaker 1: whatever the funk it is or hope apartment complex is infested.
Speaker 1: I keep trying to read the book, and I just
Speaker 1: I'm not retaining anything, Kevin. I just this is I
Speaker 1: don't understand what you want to do, but you're making
Speaker 1: me make a choice, and that is to leave. Don't no,
Speaker 1: don't leave. I love you. I love you, Kevin, but
Speaker 1: I can't live here. What's wrong with it? It's infested
Speaker 1: with rat Oh my god, really, don't funk with me.
Speaker 1: I'm not working with you, Kevin. Please, so you know
Speaker 1: whether it's gonna be some kind of book or something
Speaker 1: snoof a long you have? You know what. I'm living
Speaker 1: with my mom. I'm gonna go with my mom. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I cannot be here, Kevin. I cannot do this. I can't.
Speaker 1: Who are you again? Oh my god? What happened? Why?
Speaker 1: Why did you leave? Well? He just thank you for
Speaker 1: the tea. It's it's just he just told you he's
Speaker 1: a piece of ship. Dad, Stop James. It's if he
Speaker 1: just doesn't he just doesn't listen or something I mean
Speaker 1: or something I don't know. He just like maybe that's
Speaker 1: something is sexy. Are providing him enough happiness? Oh my God, Mom,
Speaker 1: we've talked about this. Does he have and it's it's
Speaker 1: not like that. I don't have to just have sex
Speaker 1: with him so he likes me. Okay, do it? Mama?
Speaker 1: Oh my sweetheart. Good. Not while I'm in the room.
Speaker 1: You should have these discussions with your daughter when I'm
Speaker 1: not here. I have had these discussions and you didn't
Speaker 1: get it. The dad, I'm I'm sorry. This isn't a
Speaker 1: conversation we should have. Ring. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: should answer it. Well, maybe the door ring ring, the door, phone,
Speaker 1: phone ring, phone ring, Hello, Hello, babe, it's Kevin. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm outside. I don't want to talk to I'm
Speaker 1: knocking on the door right now. Don't want to talk
Speaker 1: to you right now. I'm going to get the door.
Speaker 1: Oh Kevin, Hi, Yes, what do you want? Why are
Speaker 1: you here? What are you here for? Why are you here? Me?
Speaker 1: This is my house. I have this rat book. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know how I got it. But I have a
Speaker 1: sales receipt and Debbie told us there's a rap problem
Speaker 1: in the apartment. Who's that your girlfriend? Our daughter, Debbie. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm on the phone with her now, Babe.
Speaker 1: Why did you call me, you call with me, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm hanging up. Uh, she's in the other room. Do
Speaker 1: you want coming, Kevin? I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: Are you dissatisfied with the relationship? No? I love her.
Speaker 1: I couldn't be more happy. Okay, So she's providing you
Speaker 1: with everything you need. Getchez what. I'm sorry, this is
Speaker 1: not so. I just wanted to call you guys in.
Speaker 1: Is there more cheese or no? That's the full amount
Speaker 1: of cheese we have. That's the full amount of cheese
Speaker 1: we have. Rats. Uh as your cousin, I'm disturbed. Your Christina.
Speaker 1: We what we have is on the plate, Debby, what
Speaker 1: we have is on the plate. Okay, listen, Tomorrow the
Speaker 1: whole family is going to get together. Okay. And I
Speaker 1: wanted to be nice. I don't know if you can't
Speaker 1: bring your boyfriend, if you guys are gonna be fighting,
Speaker 1: If you're not, it's fine. But what cannot happen again
Speaker 1: is talking about ustard is a spice mustard. It's mustard,
Speaker 1: it's stone ground. Some people think it has a little
Speaker 1: kick to it, but it's not a spicy mustard. You
Speaker 1: can't be talking about obscene sex in front of everyone.
Speaker 1: You're talking about this. It's not okay. No your say
Speaker 1: something wrong with you healthy? No, Louise, there is something
Speaker 1: wrong with you. Jennifer, Stop Jennifer, don't do that to
Speaker 1: my mom. Your mom is telling people they can't be
Speaker 1: in relationships unless they're providing horrible services. Relationship we have.
Speaker 1: Have you seen them? I don't. I don't see a
Speaker 1: great relationship for me. I do too much for You're
Speaker 1: dating a fucking rat. Okay, I'm not dating around. You're
Speaker 1: dating a rap. I'm not dating a rat. I'm married
Speaker 1: to a round. But whatever her around, Well, this is
Speaker 1: going to be, but it's not impossible. Slecing. Chapter four,
Speaker 1: Ross just rot started chim in there. Just for the audiobooks,
Speaker 1: we got a little bit of it. So what happens
Speaker 1: with the rustler talking? Your tongue is getting huge and
Speaker 1: just yeah I did. I can come in the morrow
Speaker 1: for the it today. I don't know if I'm the rat.
Speaker 1: Tap was not time this bit. It's all good, but
Speaker 1: we just gotta get it today. Okay, I'm you got
Speaker 1: on the ice like this thing down? Yeah, I can
Speaker 1: put the A C out in the room. Put your
Speaker 1: tongue next to the A C Kevin, do you mind
Speaker 1: sitting down in my office with me? I got you
Speaker 1: this tattoo gun? Cool? Yeah, I think so too. I
Speaker 1: think it's going to help a lot with your relationship
Speaker 1: and generally your memory. What relationship. Well, let me just
Speaker 1: start this first one, and we're gonna write Debbie on
Speaker 1: your arm. Is this my tattoo gun or yours? Well,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be your, Well, it was mine. I used
Speaker 1: to do a lot of prison tats, but I don't
Speaker 1: need it anymore, Kevin, So this is my daughter's name.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, so it's right there now you've always
Speaker 1: got it. So anything you need to remember, all those
Speaker 1: things I forget. Yes, we will tattoo on me, not you.
Speaker 1: I'm starting you off on the right floor, a tattoo myself.
Speaker 1: I am not always going to be there with you.
Speaker 1: I'm just your father. You just have all these tattoos
Speaker 1: of you on there, just your faith everywhere on your body.
Speaker 1: I know it's to remind me of who I am.
Speaker 1: That's way I never need to look in a mirror, Kevin,
Speaker 1: I love you? Who are you? What I'm Debbie? Look
Speaker 1: at your forearm, covered it over with a picture of yourself. Kevin,
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Kevin family. If you're doing if you excuse me,
Speaker 1: I'm listening to this audio book. I'm going to my mom's.
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't, I am I can act all right? Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: I was imagining that rattled love. I can't in the
Speaker 1: mary a right. That's like leaving the rods to give
Speaker 1: them a little bit of a little like a trusted
Speaker 1: to the get on the trusted time, accept the trust
Speaker 1: you Roddy. What are you doing here? It's two in
Speaker 1: the morning. I know I was going to sleep outside
Speaker 1: when I saw the light on. Maybe you should come
Speaker 1: back in the morning. Morning. You're asking me to leave, daddy,
Speaker 1: you can. I don't care my week mama, but I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna sleep in the two in the morning. Why
Speaker 1: are you up? Because you're knocked on the door? Well
Speaker 1: by accident and my head slipped. Look you know what,
Speaker 1: I forget it? Okay, fine, fine, fine, come inside. What's
Speaker 1: going on? You woke your mother on it's happening. It's
Speaker 1: so late. What time is that? It's two in the morning.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I left Kevin. You left Cavin? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? Either tattoo all over his body? Tattoo? How
Speaker 1: did he get started with tattoo? What? How did that happen?
Speaker 1: I don't know. He didn't say who gave it to him.
Speaker 1: He didn't remember. No. God, well, I guess we'll never know. Good.
Speaker 1: I'm just so scared. And then I found all these
Speaker 1: rat pellet droppings everywhere, and I think, Honey, maybe it's
Speaker 1: just not the one. I know you were so close,
Speaker 1: but he kept forgetting everything. It's just so hard it is.
Speaker 1: Look at you. Oh my god. You know what. We're
Speaker 1: going to go to the retreat. That's a family again. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're going to work on your sexy families. Unite. Everybody
Speaker 1: getting I will touch each other. It's fine. What do
Speaker 1: you need to give your partner everything? Everything? Honey jumped
Speaker 1: right ahead. There. We've got a few returning champs from
Speaker 1: our Sexy Family run funds, and we're gonna be screening
Speaker 1: Horsecock tonight, so our favorite. Anybody grab your popcorn bucket
Speaker 1: that has a hole in the bottom turk. Yeah, sorry
Speaker 1: to pull you aside um, Debbie. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you remember me, do Yeah? I was in There've got
Speaker 1: a great memory. Oh my god, that's fantastic. I love memory.
Speaker 1: I think memory is hot. Are you going to the
Speaker 1: Dirty Sanchez Workshop at five o'clock? Well, I was thinking
Speaker 1: about it. I didn't have anyone to go with. Well,
Speaker 1: it's full, but I bought two spots. Oh oh well,
Speaker 1: then whoever you're taking must be really lucky. Whoever I'm taking, Yeah,
Speaker 1: her name is Debbie. Oh she must be really nice.
Speaker 1: I mean you what, Yeah, I would love to go
Speaker 1: and check out this stat that I just got. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's a picture of other people. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: Their faces aren't filled in, so you have an opportunity
Speaker 1: to don't know who they're going to be, but they
Speaker 1: could be me and you. Oh my god, I would
Speaker 1: I would love that. I'm so happy they're showing horse
Speaker 1: cocks tonight. Haven't seen it too. I haven't seen the
Speaker 1: entire franchise. It's crazy. Oh yeah, they're gonna show the
Speaker 1: whole trilogies. Yeah, I know. Do you guys know which
Speaker 1: way the Crusty Cowboy Workshop is? Um? I think it's
Speaker 1: right by the Saddle Ranch. Um anyway, Um, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: see you at six o'clock for the Sanchez Workshop. It's
Speaker 1: at five o'clock. I forgot I remembered m um. Do
Speaker 1: you want My dad brought his jaguar. Do you just
Speaker 1: want to get out of here and just go into
Speaker 1: the city. He's got a big cat. Yeah, let's right
Speaker 1: into the city. Yes, I would like a table for
Speaker 1: two two people? Two people? Did you make a reservation? Um?
Speaker 1: We didn't. Is there a problem? Yeah, they just want
Speaker 1: a table for two people, but they didn't make it.
Speaker 1: There isn't a problem. I'm just doing the math. Here
Speaker 1: are two people, no reservation, no reservations. Oh well, that's
Speaker 1: two different things, sir. Can you pull that shirt up?
Speaker 1: We'll do anything, sir, she asked nicely, to pull your
Speaker 1: shirt up. It's a scoopa neck. It's too low. No, no,
Speaker 1: not that cover your breasts, sir, like I'm proud of
Speaker 1: the breast that I have. Oh god, that's hot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: right this way, I've got a booth for you. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, is that snoop phone? That is she's huge.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, they got as schwa my right friend
Speaker 1: with a lobervation. I'll have a sleisure salad with the
Speaker 1: cob salad on top. Oh my god, she's dining with
Speaker 1: a rat. It's her husband. That's her husband's her husband? Really? Yes,
Speaker 1: you didn't see any thing in e I did very well.
Speaker 1: You're looking at my husband. Sorry, we're we're just big fans.
Speaker 1: We don't mean to bother you. I'm not bothered. This
Speaker 1: is my happy great to see you. Good to see you, too,
Speaker 1: Good to see you, y'all a couple. Yeah like rats, yeahs,
Speaker 1: I'm rolling in all your book money. My god, thank
Speaker 1: you so much, Thank you so much. You're so welcome.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be weird now because they're sitting so close
Speaker 1: to me. I guess well, we'll all to sit together.
Speaker 1: This was my husband, what's his name, little Jia himself.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. I'm Dirk. He's a cut up.
Speaker 1: Shut up, shut up? Can I ask you how you
Speaker 1: The two of you make it work a lot out contact, um,
Speaker 1: snacks together. I don't ever kill his family. Those are
Speaker 1: the big things that make it work for us. Communication,
Speaker 1: never got bad. Angry, Yeah, that's I get that, all right.
Speaker 1: Who had the apple TEENI okay, he drinks like a
Speaker 1: little sixily, but I love them. And you had long
Speaker 1: onland I enjoy. Let me know if there's anything else, like, well,
Speaker 1: we don't want to bother each one. Say high. And
Speaker 1: it was a pleasure of meeting total pleasure. Total pleasure
Speaker 1: is absolutely right. Um, just so you know, Snuff has
Speaker 1: said that she'd pick up our tap, so yes, but
Speaker 1: I'll need to hear that from her. Um Snuff. Oh no,
Speaker 1: oh god, the rats eating her? Oh god, oh god,
Speaker 1: it's your eyes out. Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Say you'll pay for our dinner? Who did the rat
Speaker 1: ever actually eat? Again? Or just a little snoof on
Speaker 1: the side? Turne in next time. That's our Let's go
Speaker 1: around and thank all of our Alcolm is James, Hey,
Speaker 1: thanks for listening. Guys, it's been a pleasure. Give me
Speaker 1: a message to the listeners you'd like to directly make
Speaker 1: to them. Yeah, please go to the West Side County
Speaker 1: Theater on the second, fourth Wednesdays and the first Sundays
Speaker 1: of the month. So nothing about us in the podcast.
Speaker 1: It was. We'll also definitely make a review, but we
Speaker 1: we pleaded at the beginning, right, Did I do this right? Kevin?
Speaker 1: You're doing so well? And is this shirt really as
Speaker 1: good as it? Yeah? As good as Samuel thinks it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. Thank god. Joey Greer, thanks so much
Speaker 1: for being here. A pleasure to be here. I just
Speaker 1: want to say everybody. Uh, I want to say everybody. Okay,
Speaker 1: you said that at Jeffy Greeber on Instagram, posting the
Speaker 1: show's fun stuff. Uh, sensitive information about Craig. You had
Speaker 1: some projects you wanted to offer up to one of
Speaker 1: our listeners. I did. I wanted to offer up to
Speaker 1: um photo contest to Danny. You know who you are
Speaker 1: and you know what you want, all right, so come
Speaker 1: and get it. Okay, congratulations Danny. If in fact you
Speaker 1: know what you are and what you want, come and
Speaker 1: get it, coming and get it. Hi, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, Thanks for reviews. Keep writing. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: I say dirty things. Oh please, we wouldn't have the
Speaker 1: listeners without it. Check out Dynasty typewriter dot com or
Speaker 1: on Instagram Dynasty Typewriter. If you know what's good for you,
Speaker 1: that is Craig Kikowski. Uh. Anybody who's willing to animate
Speaker 1: Horsecock There's there's an eccentric billionaire waiting to pay you
Speaker 1: seventy and tim yes please Uh and thanks obviously to
Speaker 1: all of you who are sending us emails and requests
Speaker 1: and information and seen suggestions, but also the animation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get I have to start sharing with you guys.
Speaker 1: People are explaining certain aspects of their lives to us
Speaker 1: in these emails and it's really sweet and kind of touching. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's thank the engineer to the stars, Doug Babe may
Speaker 1: By Bye Babe, our post sound design artist Raphael So
Speaker 1: if you looked him an, our producer Sophie and I
Speaker 1: heart media. Encourage all of you to write a review.
Speaker 1: Please tell everyone you've ever met and right to us
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. I
Speaker 1: really do going the love going through your emails, so
Speaker 1: please keep sending them along. Um and some of you
Speaker 1: are repeat emailing. I love that you're engaged. You give
Speaker 1: a damn and I just want to say thanks. Your
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. I am Kevin Polking.
Speaker 1: Until next time,