Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy that I'm your host.
Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Yes, that Kevin Pollock. What's that? Well, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you this. That kind of attitude is gonna land
Speaker 1: you in the slammer, so watch your ass, boy, But
Speaker 1: I digress. Let's meet o rockamists, shall we? And overlook
Speaker 1: killer orders? Say hello, but that's a ragolamination. How old
Speaker 1: is your son? He? Please tell me again what he
Speaker 1: said as he entered my home five years old. We're
Speaker 1: coming the gate and he's like, this is beautiful, right?
Speaker 1: How many adults live here? Many adults? Why do you
Speaker 1: think that number was in his head? When I said too,
Speaker 1: he was shocked. The train is definitely not leaving the
Speaker 1: station now because Joey Greer's here too. Joemy, like we
Speaker 1: know each other. How many corners of the world have
Speaker 1: you been to? And which ones? Please? Well? First off,
Speaker 1: the world is flat and corners. I've been to six
Speaker 1: of the corners. Sex, okay, which one was your favorite? Probably? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Top left was a great already checked out? Wash your
Speaker 1: shoes and say what the hell did Greg Kikowski were
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles? Do you go if your favorite French fries?
Speaker 1: You know, I never get tired of in and ounce
Speaker 1: fries really damn good. And you make a manimal style
Speaker 1: like you tried five guys fries with the skin still
Speaker 1: on double cooked. Nope, I'm not gonna work there, all
Speaker 1: right there, all right, it's not your cup of tea.
Speaker 1: I got it. I got it like thin thin, no fat. Uh.
Speaker 1: And last, but least if you can do, but least
Speaker 1: you can do is help me. Welcome back, James Heeny,
Speaker 1: I thank you, Dr Hey, will see you now. When
Speaker 1: was your last complete physical? And what did you think
Speaker 1: of during the prostate exam? Well, I'll tell you the
Speaker 1: honest truth. I haven't been to a real doctor in
Speaker 1: almost twenty years. But I did go to the pot doctor.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, yeah, I gotta break down. Yeah sorry, uh,
Speaker 1: real doctor doctor. So what is that? Well, it means
Speaker 1: that I wanted back before it was legal to get
Speaker 1: a card to smoke marijuana legally, and I went to
Speaker 1: a pot doctor. Just a brief conversation and then you
Speaker 1: can take your blood pressure and then and then this
Speaker 1: guy suggests and astate exam. Well I don't know if
Speaker 1: that was an exam that he fingered me. And uh,
Speaker 1: and he did say you know he should go to
Speaker 1: a real doctor. Your blood pressure is going crazy and
Speaker 1: every year I'm really well. He said that I have
Speaker 1: high blood pressure, sure, and he can see that on
Speaker 1: a one of those things in your arm. I'm like,
Speaker 1: come on, well, one of those things on your arm
Speaker 1: is actually sign Yeah, I guess basically a floaty device
Speaker 1: and you have a nice sash, but inside there's a
Speaker 1: lot of issues. Yeah, there's always a cast physical of course,
Speaker 1: we all know before you started working on a thing. Well, Joey,
Speaker 1: listen up, and uh so what it's really the single
Speaker 1: most bullshit exam ever. I mean, it's like your temperature
Speaker 1: and and stethoscope to your heart and I don't even
Speaker 1: think blood pressure really, And then there's always like a
Speaker 1: questionnaire you have to fill out. It's all about have
Speaker 1: you been denied insurance on a production because of a
Speaker 1: drug problem, which is really the only reason you're there.
Speaker 1: And uh I went into one of them with like
Speaker 1: a really bad cold, and I said, should I do
Speaker 1: like a silence thing where? And he said, yeah, you
Speaker 1: should talk to a doctor, are you quote? And this
Speaker 1: is a doctor with a plaque of the wall and
Speaker 1: just autography test. He might have been a pot doctor.
Speaker 1: It sounds all this is to be four because I'm
Speaker 1: a hundred and five. Alright, let's get to our first
Speaker 1: show me all. Today's scene suggestions or gathered from our
Speaker 1: listener emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please write
Speaker 1: to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
Speaker 1: dot com. And I would also encourage you now to
Speaker 1: write a review. We've gotten some amazing reviews since our
Speaker 1: own James Heeney uh pleaded with you to please step
Speaker 1: it up on the review because we really need your
Speaker 1: support out there, and the best way to get the
Speaker 1: word out there and the multiplies is by writing a review.
Speaker 1: So please, if you like to show at all, if
Speaker 1: you do not think it stinks, then write us a review.
Speaker 1: Stop listening right now and go write a review again.
Speaker 1: Write your scene suggestions to your name here at alchemy
Speaker 1: this dot com. Our first scene suggestion comes from a
Speaker 1: listener named Hank, who wrote, Hey, y'all love the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you would do with this.
Speaker 1: Jimmy Jack James Heeney gets interrogated by aggressive cops FBI,
Speaker 1: d E, A, et cetera for a crime he simply
Speaker 1: did not commit, though he can't convince them otherwise. Thanks
Speaker 1: for making such wonderful content, Hank. Look, James is inside there, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to talk to him. You need to talk
Speaker 1: to him. Okay. I don't know what he's been helpful.
Speaker 1: I don't know why he's in there, ma'am, ma'am please, yes?
Speaker 1: Can I get you something? A coffee of water. I
Speaker 1: don't want to coffee water. No, I don't want boost
Speaker 1: coffee water down down. I don't want to need downdowns
Speaker 1: or ups ups. I need my James E James, Okay,
Speaker 1: get him now? Would be a great time to sign
Speaker 1: up for a dating site. Man. Yeah, she's got a
Speaker 1: good point. What do you say he's going to be there?
Speaker 1: And definitely I don't about it, definitely, But have you
Speaker 1: been on Tinda? Have that? Tell me? And James Matt okay,
Speaker 1: so you don't mind it, Corey mind. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to find somebody in James swipe and left because Julia
Speaker 1: and I were talking about earlier. This doesn't mean giving
Speaker 1: a percentage basis number hot little piece like you my ballpark?
Speaker 1: Yeah park before James? Is that normal? Is a gal
Speaker 1: on the bad? There's no there's no bad was a
Speaker 1: little horsh. No, you can't say that. I can't say that.
Speaker 1: I can say you wipe on. Everybody got as yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So Jimmy Jack, James Heeney, you can just call me James.
Speaker 1: How many of those are your real names? Just well,
Speaker 1: the beginning and the ending, the elphat Jimmy, Well, I'd
Speaker 1: really rather there James Heeney, but Jimmy Jack, James Heeney. Well,
Speaker 1: when I was born, people called me Jimmy because I
Speaker 1: was a baby, and as I got more and more adults,
Speaker 1: Jimmy because you were a baby. I mean it was
Speaker 1: it was like that you call a kid Jimmy. Most
Speaker 1: adults have to get a grown up name at some point. Jimmy, Jimmy.
Speaker 1: I need you to get up and brush your teeth. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I will. It's your second birthday and you're
Speaker 1: speaking a lot, which is impressive. But we need you
Speaker 1: to brush those teeth. Okay. And as soon as you
Speaker 1: brush them, baby, no more Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy's gone. You'll
Speaker 1: be James. Today's the day. If you can brash your teeth,
Speaker 1: you're not Jimmy anymore. No help. So what's the first,
Speaker 1: Jimmy's let's brush your way, Jimmy. What's the first thing
Speaker 1: we get tooth? Paint down? Brush? This isn't gonna horror.
Speaker 1: You got another year, Jimmy, We got another year, Jimmy. Hey, Jimmy,
Speaker 1: welcome to the Social Security Office. We just needed to
Speaker 1: make sure that you're ready to take the name James
Speaker 1: and drop Jimmy if you're an adult. Okay, okay, how
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm pretty close to ready make contact
Speaker 1: with Okay, alright, stop playing around things on my desk.
Speaker 1: What is this? This looks like it depends. It's different
Speaker 1: color pens. If I push the difference? You just what
Speaker 1: you weren't sure that that was a pen? Well, there's
Speaker 1: just so many colors to choose from with one pen. Okay, Jimmy, Okay,
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna ask you some questions. Okay, and we'll
Speaker 1: go from there. Okay, Okay. You're driving forty on the highway.
Speaker 1: You're making a left turn of semi trucks in your
Speaker 1: rear view mirror. How much time do you give before
Speaker 1: you make the turn? Oh god, I have no idea
Speaker 1: immediately okay, all right. You have two dependents, one of
Speaker 1: which is older than you, one of which is younger.
Speaker 1: If you're making four dollars a year, half of that
Speaker 1: goes to the government. Why, oh my god, what's the
Speaker 1: undn't what's it? Okay? I'm sorry, we just denied your
Speaker 1: claim to be called I'm sorry. So you're here for
Speaker 1: social security fraud. I don't think this is correct, honestly
Speaker 1: and illegal left hand turn? Well yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: I thought you could go red red take a left
Speaker 1: if you stopped murder. No, that can't be true. That's
Speaker 1: what I have down here. No, let me see that paper.
Speaker 1: I can't let that. Sorry, I gave you one of
Speaker 1: the wrong papers. Okay, can see one of these papers
Speaker 1: is wrong here, it's the it's the left hand turn.
Speaker 1: When I got that? Guy? Oh good, good, close it.
Speaker 1: H hell, I love being an Is it possible? Hey?
Speaker 1: Uh stand Starry shout you interrupt? That's all right. I
Speaker 1: think I might have written rumor wrong. I think I
Speaker 1: wrote murder. Okay, yeah, yeah, all right, you're here for
Speaker 1: attempted rumor. Okay, I think that this What if the
Speaker 1: hell is going on in the office? Huh? We got
Speaker 1: papers being misfiled, people misspelling the murder started this buddy
Speaker 1: cop system. We're buddying up, but the buddy system doesn't
Speaker 1: work because we're not we're not communicating, we're not buddy
Speaker 1: all right, goddamn everyone, that's it. Everyone off. Sorry, we're
Speaker 1: taking the day off and everyone's going to the park
Speaker 1: and buddying up. Okay, I want us to become best friends.
Speaker 1: Elliott still my buddy. Yes, he's mad at me the paper.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Well, you can you help us? Okay
Speaker 1: before we go to the theme park. You're not right
Speaker 1: with her? See, Elliot is mad at me. You want
Speaker 1: me to take your gundamn badges and your gun right now,
Speaker 1: gonna push me out of the law fell Listen, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't push your tickets. It's too hot. The Michael Man right,
Speaker 1: all right, you're gonna get on that. You're gonna gun
Speaker 1: damn joining someone taking fucking j T and okay, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna have that guy just new News. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he's going with you. Come on, all right, Manetti's going
Speaker 1: We're going to take him done Disneyland, Disneyland, disney Shman.
Speaker 1: I don't give a hell. All right, you got two
Speaker 1: tickets and that's hit. What are you doing today? Sarge,
Speaker 1: I'm collecting myself. I recently was emancipated from my family.
Speaker 1: Oh man, and I just your choice? Are there's it was?
Speaker 1: It was both mutual emancipation, your parents or your children.
Speaker 1: All so, uh, I'm the mutual emancipation can be very satisfying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Elliott's trying to get out of this buddy system thing again.
Speaker 1: Let's just let's just all focus up. It seems unfair
Speaker 1: you're emancipated and we have to be buddies. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you're on the clock. Oh okay, when do we get
Speaker 1: off the clock when we go to Disneyland in your buddies?
Speaker 1: All right? Feels like time for a montage? Montage? Done, done,
Speaker 1: then done? Hi put the cuffs on him? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: don't know if I need cuffs. Everybody everybody down, everybody down,
Speaker 1: I'm too tall to ride the ride. Hide under my dress?
Speaker 1: That sneaking. These aren't my shoes. Can I take the
Speaker 1: cuffs off of this ride? I feel like I'm sticking
Speaker 1: out like a sore thumb. Everybody thinks, hey, do you
Speaker 1: want to ride it? Don't you? I do? But everybody's
Speaker 1: looking at me like a convict. So we should put
Speaker 1: a jacket over your wrist like it's a purp walk.
Speaker 1: Just take the cuffs off. Where am I to run
Speaker 1: in the middle of a ride? Everywhere? But loose? What? Everywhere?
Speaker 1: But look, I mean that makes sense, but I mean
Speaker 1: over here, great name. Come on, guys, it's fun to
Speaker 1: raise your hands above your head and scream on a ride,
Speaker 1: all right, just for that reason. So you can put
Speaker 1: your hands over your head and scream and ashamed of
Speaker 1: looking like a convict, you better be raising your hands
Speaker 1: and screaming constantly. Inappropriate times are just at the tops
Speaker 1: of hills. I'll tell you what. When he gets on
Speaker 1: the ride, take up. Okay, guys, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, okay, so everyone in this road, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be in the front center. You're gonna see it all.
Speaker 1: You're gonna need to sit with him. That's my buddy. Okay, okay, man,
Speaker 1: would you mind just getting up? All right? So I
Speaker 1: got you to see you here next to each other
Speaker 1: and just have fun, all right, no matter. Please keep
Speaker 1: your hands inside the ride at all times. Questions, Yes,
Speaker 1: why our hands inside the red well, we have razors
Speaker 1: on top of the ride, so they're gonna yes, So
Speaker 1: don't raise your hands. This is the hair utter. So
Speaker 1: when you go through this rise is gonna cut your
Speaker 1: hair just a little bit. So if you raise your hands,
Speaker 1: it's gonna chop. I saw the name. I didn't think
Speaker 1: we were actually getting a haircut. Huh yeah. So all
Speaker 1: the photos that you saw at the different heights, how
Speaker 1: does it? Yeah, I'm the I'm the tallest one. Well
Speaker 1: you better, okay, so I alright, guys now now wait
Speaker 1: for the bars just fall down to bring our guns on?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Can we bring our guns on? Cups were
Speaker 1: law enforcement? Of course? Of course not. This man's been arrested.
Speaker 1: He's under a supervision, attempted rumor and a few other charges.
Speaker 1: We'd like to take the cuffs off so he could
Speaker 1: raise his hands and scream. And I've decided I don't
Speaker 1: want to raise my hands. You're raising him, buddy boy.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is fair. It doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: you think. It's not a fair. It's a theme bar.
Speaker 1: That's right, excellent point. Do you want to County Fair
Speaker 1: with your final cakes? I'm gonna loose my hands. Hell's
Speaker 1: go on? Oh my god? Okay, all right, well there
Speaker 1: police officers. Okay, So let's get the ride going. Everyone
Speaker 1: clup with me. Now, get the right going? Ride going on?
Speaker 1: Just a second, just check sure? Yeah, her gun? Real question,
Speaker 1: it's making a strange sound. I don't know if you've noticed.
Speaker 1: When you're sure that was my mouth, the silencer on
Speaker 1: the gun, but my mouth. I still it's just somebody.
Speaker 1: Why isn't the ride going? My body has been shot?
Speaker 1: All right, let's get the ride going. Okay, here we go, alright,
Speaker 1: have fun. I really think this is inappropriate. All right,
Speaker 1: but they are up up off my head, they really are. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is fun, this is fun. Here we go. Guys,
Speaker 1: if you want to confession on me, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: get it. Who won't he? Why did you do it?
Speaker 1: I didn't. I think it was. I thought I was
Speaker 1: in an escape Answer the questions correctly and we can
Speaker 1: put your hands down. Okay, okay. I thought it was
Speaker 1: an escape room. I had no idea that it was
Speaker 1: a real bank, And once I got into the vault,
Speaker 1: it was it seemed like I was waiting, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? What you attempted a rumor? I don't
Speaker 1: know it's gonna put my hands down, please say you
Speaker 1: down there and shut the ride down for a second.
Speaker 1: Shut the ride down? What shut it down? I'll shoot
Speaker 1: you in the face. I can't hear it. As you
Speaker 1: can clearly see from the photo taken from it's a haircut.
Speaker 1: It's a small haircut. Whatever the name of the ride is. Okay,
Speaker 1: my client had his hands. Thank you. I'm not done yet, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. And as we can see that
Speaker 1: he was forced to honors are a question anywhere near
Speaker 1: in our future. My first day in the boost, I'm
Speaker 1: asking if the defense attorney could could please offer here
Speaker 1: to sustain sustained? What him? That's whole courtrooms. Somebody's a fan.
Speaker 1: They're just watching movies. Yes, that's alright. My coin was
Speaker 1: forced to give that testimony and he was under dress
Speaker 1: and Elliott uh, Samantha objection. These are just names. Are
Speaker 1: on earth, sustain. I just want the court to know
Speaker 1: that my client, Jimmy Jack James Heeney, is innocent. Overruled. Okay,
Speaker 1: and so it's seen one al right is fan freaking testing.
Speaker 1: Two comes us today from Steve, who wrote, Hello, Hagness,
Speaker 1: my name is Steve. I'm a huge fan of you,
Speaker 1: especially she reminds me of Lauren. I would like to
Speaker 1: quote the whistle direction Jeffrey Poker in the movie to
Speaker 1: Have Happy Now. Steve goes on, I'm a fifty five
Speaker 1: year old pool man or pool person that's been in
Speaker 1: the industry for thirty five years, so I think I
Speaker 1: know a little bit about everything. I listened too many
Speaker 1: podcasts during that checks out Alchemy. This cracked me up.
Speaker 1: My client, My clients must wonder why I'm laughing while working.
Speaker 1: Being able to make people laugh and give us joy
Speaker 1: as a real gift, So thank you. My suggestion takes
Speaker 1: place at a Hollywood party a listers like you, Kevin Well,
Speaker 1: that's a sad party when the guests realized that their
Speaker 1: pool guy holds all the answers to questions, desires, and problems.
Speaker 1: Can I get a drink? Yes? Would you like the
Speaker 1: lacka bourbon vodka bourbon shaking? We want? Then? I don't
Speaker 1: want to chicken just done? Neat neat? Okay, uh getting
Speaker 1: bourbon into a glass, but Jesus lay off him? Would
Speaker 1: you like that? Started at a party? All right, Linda,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'll just go kill myself. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: kill myself. Everyone enjoy the party. I'm useless. No drama there.
Speaker 1: What do you drinking, Linda? Come on, what am I drinking? Water?
Speaker 1: That's all? Should like? Another water? Water, night shaken glass.
Speaker 1: You fill that glass to the brim with vodka. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not drinking right now, got it? Okay, so no vodka.
Speaker 1: What the are you doing? I don't fill the glass
Speaker 1: to the broom with vodka. I'm not drinking right now.
Speaker 1: So so just water. You're not drinking. I'm winking. You're drinking,
Speaker 1: or wink. Look I'm winking at you when I'm saying
Speaker 1: that to look like I'm drinking water. You a little idiots. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's some you know what, here's a glass of water.
Speaker 1: Here's a class of vodka, a dealer's choice. Oh, thank
Speaker 1: you so much, honey, Lary, Linda, what a delight. He
Speaker 1: look fantastic. Well, thank you. I just got back from
Speaker 1: the Hamptons. I didn't know if it was the Caymans
Speaker 1: the Hamptons. I wasn't the Caymans before that. So I
Speaker 1: got a tan and then I worked it off in
Speaker 1: the Hampton. It's so fun to be at a party.
Speaker 1: That's all a listers for a change. All right, you
Speaker 1: smell like lobster roll. That's right. I rubbed a lobster
Speaker 1: roll all over my face before coming here. That's a
Speaker 1: new thing. Yes, lobster boy. Can I get a drink? Yes?
Speaker 1: Can I get a hennessyn hard to read us? Served
Speaker 1: in a man's loafer? Yes, sir, okay, thank you? So
Speaker 1: tell us about the hamp ums this time lunching again
Speaker 1: at Bobby Flays. Everyone was there play. I'd let Bobby Flay.
Speaker 1: He brought his rips out. You're saying he cut you open?
Speaker 1: He did? He cut me open. I still have an
Speaker 1: open wound in my back. I need to put salve
Speaker 1: on it every half hour. Coming to you, Dounce you
Speaker 1: got you gotta tell me about this. I'm at this party,
Speaker 1: at the kid's birthday party. There's a bunch of kids
Speaker 1: that we're doing this story. And our son overheard your son,
Speaker 1: Chad say to another boy, I'm so sorry I heard
Speaker 1: your father's picture didn't open. Now they're celebrating a nine
Speaker 1: year old birthday. Is this really the kind of conversation?
Speaker 1: First of all, I barely know, I said, right, maybe
Speaker 1: a couple of times a year. Should we talk to
Speaker 1: the nanny about this? Friend dresser Carl I need more loafers.
Speaker 1: I'm running out of loafers for the Hennessy Margarita loafer. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's a signature, it's a drink. I need some more loafers.
Speaker 1: These loafers are from you know, our boss. We can't
Speaker 1: just be using his loafers. We're gonna get in trouble. Listen,
Speaker 1: I've got I've got some water shoes. Water shown in
Speaker 1: the poolhouse. But they're gonna just soak right through. Fine
Speaker 1: whatever anything works where they're coming, sir, I can't find
Speaker 1: any of them. I got an idea, give him water
Speaker 1: shoes and call them loafers. Will use the loafers as
Speaker 1: the cups, because that's what you're doing, right. Yes, it's
Speaker 1: a signature drink. Of course, what's going on? Why do
Speaker 1: you know that, dude know a little bit about everything? Obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm a pool jo. You know you're dogging and a
Speaker 1: working Sorry but that, sorry, but here replaced the loafers
Speaker 1: with these water shoes. Used the loafers for the drinks. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right? Do you smell like chlorine? It's kind of
Speaker 1: goes with the job. It's not bad smell, just like
Speaker 1: thank you here you are sir, your your drink? Oh,
Speaker 1: thank god, finally sorry? Right, yeah, can I get another
Speaker 1: round place? Oh? Surprise, surprise, surprise. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: an affair? Have you ever had an affair? Question? I
Speaker 1: have how to go? Yeah? I was Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1: I destroyed a family. What does that mean? Things are talking?
Speaker 1: We set a thermonuclear device inside the household and we
Speaker 1: released it. Yeah, we destroyed the family. It got weird.
Speaker 1: I mean, man, that's what we did. We did We
Speaker 1: destroyed the sideways fast. So can I just say that
Speaker 1: this loafer is wonderful? By the way, Like, where did
Speaker 1: you find these? Like they're imported? This is so good.
Speaker 1: Chad's impressed. I'm impressed. If Chad's impressed, I'm impressed. Can
Speaker 1: I have a loafer? Make it too? Thank you? Guys,
Speaker 1: had a little drink today? Today's today? Okay, uh chat?
Speaker 1: Look you know him? Okay, I'm Brad Pitt. All right,
Speaker 1: you know me, Chad, Brad? What are you doing in
Speaker 1: my house hold? On a second, Okay, I heard you
Speaker 1: got some loafer. I want to be involved. I know
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a big hit, it's probably gonna be
Speaker 1: a movie. I want it. I'm Brad Pitt. Chad you
Speaker 1: know me? Also, Leonardo DiCaprio. You need to stop doing this. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll just show up and say our names. Yes, you
Speaker 1: know who I am. I'm Brad Pitt. Come okay, yes,
Speaker 1: I thought you go to bed? What a bad kid?
Speaker 1: You live with your family? I try to avoid it
Speaker 1: whenever I can. So what is it like being on
Speaker 1: the A minus list? Guys? Well, that's why we're here,
Speaker 1: trying to work your way up to that level of
Speaker 1: stardom that's so big. Nobody knows who the funk we are. Look,
Speaker 1: I've just been racking my brain. How do I get
Speaker 1: to the next level? I don't know where to go
Speaker 1: and who to turn to. I just start by working
Speaker 1: on your body. Leo, shut the hell out? What are
Speaker 1: you six? Now? Nice neck beard? Just son um a bitch? Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't even start with me. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, no, okay, I'm up to here. I'm a
Speaker 1: minus Alright, I'm freaking out. Who's that guy dancing by
Speaker 1: the pool? Who's like, guys, that's the pool guy, not
Speaker 1: pool hypnotic. Don't you go introduce yourself? Maybe he knows
Speaker 1: who you are. Oh yeah, yeah, dancing himself happy dancing
Speaker 1: since it's I didn't see you there. I've been here
Speaker 1: for a while, breeding Paris. I didn't think anybody would
Speaker 1: have noticed I was dancing. How can they not? What
Speaker 1: a light me? I'm Brad Pitt. I know who you are.
Speaker 1: Do you know my movies? Yeah? Named them Golden Stones,
Speaker 1: pulp fiction. Uh, I'm just a big fan. I'm big fan. Uh.
Speaker 1: First time meeting you, though, I don't know if you remember,
Speaker 1: well you wouldn't. Gosh, I'm so embarrassed. Were you about
Speaker 1: to say, remember what this is the first time meeting right? Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say you don't remember meeting me before
Speaker 1: because the time my first time. Oh god, I get
Speaker 1: so tongue tied when I meet somebody as big as
Speaker 1: the stars as you, Mr. Butli, I'm a minus. You
Speaker 1: know what. I've been telling everybody they can't get in
Speaker 1: the pool because I just recently treated it. But truth this, this,
Speaker 1: it's been good for about an hour. I'm just overly cautious.
Speaker 1: If you want to be the first guy in the pool,
Speaker 1: go yeah, I don't see why I dip would hurt?
Speaker 1: I mean, like, really, we should probably give it another
Speaker 1: couple of hours. But that's just what they say. My skin,
Speaker 1: oh god, is melting off. I'm a guy who played
Speaker 1: Jack Golden Stones. Yeah, jeez, I think he's dead. No,
Speaker 1: he's not dead, he's just floating. I'm not gonna touch
Speaker 1: I mean you touch his temperature? Pull boy? Okay, well,
Speaker 1: could somebody hand me that pulse for fox touching that water?
Speaker 1: It's melting skin, thank you. I want his face. You
Speaker 1: can't have his face unless it falls off, has already
Speaker 1: come off his Okay, you can have the pieces that
Speaker 1: drip off, you can have the pieces that trip. Well
Speaker 1: I'm taking you. Don't call me that in front of
Speaker 1: these people. Fine, all right, Just anybody know how to
Speaker 1: didn't do anything. I es how I thought we could take.
Speaker 1: Hear the commotion over the fence, sound travels and these
Speaker 1: hos of Hollywood. Oh my god, it's you know, God,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's as bad as it. Oh my god. Sorry, La.
Speaker 1: We were sorry to disturb you and and save that man,
Speaker 1: Oh god alive. Okay, guys, I think we should turn.
Speaker 1: We're gonna the pool is off limits. I'm a pool
Speaker 1: guy and I and I and you're killing people. Is
Speaker 1: that what I'm hearing you know what you know? It
Speaker 1: turns out I think I used hydro chloric hy I
Speaker 1: thought it was chlorine. I only saw how long have
Speaker 1: you paid a pool man? Fifteen years? Chat? God, damn it,
Speaker 1: you just killed bred Pitt. We needed me, was going
Speaker 1: to be the star's next feature. I need somebody else.
Speaker 1: I need somebody else. I need somebody that people are
Speaker 1: gonna love mainly and Nardotte the damn fine, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: You need me to play Jack Golden Stones in the
Speaker 1: sequel to Golden Stones. One guy, you can't act. You
Speaker 1: need someone to cut you up. Who's that man pasting
Speaker 1: and dancing behind? Oh? That that pool boy over there?
Speaker 1: That's what the hell? Who the hell is he? You
Speaker 1: know him? Yes, he was the one to burn bred
Speaker 1: Pitt and Lauren. But call a live party down. I
Speaker 1: have microphones in here recording everything. But he is magnetic.
Speaker 1: Maybe he can teach me something about acting. You're there,
Speaker 1: pool boy? Who me? Yes, Look, I'm an a list star,
Speaker 1: but not an actor. I need some coaching to appear
Speaker 1: in a big blockbuster movie Golden Stones to the Return
Speaker 1: of the Stones. I've seen that movie. Well to interrupt, um,
Speaker 1: I am Mr Flanks assistant. But there's just something wrong, Rebecca. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. Um. I was just going to tell
Speaker 1: Chad that I thought you were actually asking for the
Speaker 1: pool Way to be in the film, not to coach
Speaker 1: him to be in the film. Okay, I wanted my
Speaker 1: bad though up. Okay, anyone care for pigs on a blanket?
Speaker 1: Get out of here. As a pool guy, I've kind
Speaker 1: of got the jack of all trades, so I could coach,
Speaker 1: I could act, I could as a pool guy. No,
Speaker 1: I would typically act as something other than a pool guy.
Speaker 1: I'd like to transform into it. I mean, as a
Speaker 1: pool guy, you're a jack of all trains? Absolutely, have
Speaker 1: you not? Or I see what kind of range you got?
Speaker 1: My well, as asked me, where you want the range
Speaker 1: to get up to? All right? Can you ride a horse? Well? Sure? Sure?
Speaker 1: Is it a real horse or is it one of
Speaker 1: the ones with the stick and uh the head part
Speaker 1: pops out of this so that you can Are you
Speaker 1: on pills or something? Boy, it's a real horse, a
Speaker 1: real horse. Dear lord, are you all right? Do you
Speaker 1: think that people ride hobby horses in Hollywood films? Is
Speaker 1: that not what happens? Like? Alright? We're set roll on
Speaker 1: about five minutes. You guys get actually could we hold?
Speaker 1: I don't think I can actually ride that horse. I
Speaker 1: did not think maybe we should have a training session.
Speaker 1: I thought, is there anybody that can help me? Let's
Speaker 1: just figure it out on the fly. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get out of horse to return with the stones
Speaker 1: seen seventeen Take one. I love being out. I'm for it.
Speaker 1: It's just like I can't keep this horse still staying
Speaker 1: your Oh god, what's happy that? That? Horses burning up?
Speaker 1: Oh God, what's that? What did you do? What did
Speaker 1: you do? God? This wasn't my fault. This wasn't my fault.
Speaker 1: I had a small bottle of perfume. My thought was colorine.
Speaker 1: It's it's a cent that a lot of people from Peter.
Speaker 1: Why is this horse's bones melted? Oh god, it's not
Speaker 1: a real horse. It's mechanical. It's a happy horse. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a mechanical like they did in the original Gildstones.
Speaker 1: Filmy know, use real horses. No animals will be here, Okay,
Speaker 1: I will be in the tent. But thanks for running
Speaker 1: over absolutely, thank you so much for covering for me. Listen,
Speaker 1: you got three shots at this and the first one
Speaker 1: went up in flames. All right, we got another horse
Speaker 1: for you. Will Maybe a horse is probably bad idea.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Here, you should hold this bottle of
Speaker 1: well it's obviously not chlorine. Yeah, no, I'm happy to
Speaker 1: hold it. Oh my god, do you think maybe there's
Speaker 1: a stunt person that could could I point to who
Speaker 1: I want you to kill on the set, or you're
Speaker 1: just gonna random take up? It's I can only kill
Speaker 1: it random. I'm so sorry. Right right, well, listen, you're
Speaker 1: a tough onumbre. How about your stunt doubles step in.
Speaker 1: It's not too big of a deal. Alright, I'd be
Speaker 1: happy to do the show. Head on over to hair
Speaker 1: and makeup. Alright, listen, why don't you take a seat
Speaker 1: anywhere that people aren't around, and we'll let you know
Speaker 1: when we're gonna do you close. You've got a great
Speaker 1: out of hair. Cover this up with a wig. No,
Speaker 1: it's a shame, it really is. How long you've been
Speaker 1: growing this growing up for about twenty years. It's just gorgeous.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh and I gotta put a wig on it.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it really is bumming me out. What what
Speaker 1: show you've been working on lately. Oh, I was working
Speaker 1: on Skimbo, which is on one of those phone platforms, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: Miriam's and then Teah, you know Miriam. Oh my god, ohson,
Speaker 1: whatever I hear in here, I won't tell any horse.
Speaker 1: So it looks like he's killed another horse. This this
Speaker 1: lead gay, there's a horse murder going on. Well, I
Speaker 1: think he used to just covering in your hair. You
Speaker 1: try to work those out, a lot of hair. Got
Speaker 1: a lot of three more hours to get the wig.
Speaker 1: Don't know what you can do too. You can tell him,
Speaker 1: you can tell him too, but it's a lot alright.
Speaker 1: And you know Jake and Transpo. Oh, I do know Jake.
Speaker 1: I know Jake too well, talk too well. Don't get
Speaker 1: to know him too well because he will turn on you.
Speaker 1: He will turn on you. What's this scar? Oh, that's
Speaker 1: from that's from real life. I'd love to hear this story. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I got cut up beating up a gang of Hey,
Speaker 1: listen to me, all right, Look, I'm Bobby Flay. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna flay everybody in this restaurant, right you, sir? You
Speaker 1: so the beautiful hair, uh look sir, well you look
Speaker 1: you for a fine steak dinner and you're gonna get that.
Speaker 1: And I'm challenging you. Everyone wants to beat me, Well
Speaker 1: fuck you. I'm gonna beat you first. I'm gonna cut you.
Speaker 1: So you know who I am. You know who I am.
Speaker 1: I've been a stuntman for forty years. You son of
Speaker 1: a are you? And I nicked myself a little bit
Speaker 1: well beating the ship out of Bobby Flay with a whip.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'll be able to cover that up with
Speaker 1: just a little concealer. There you go to shame your
Speaker 1: stunt man. You should be a star. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I get that a lot. But I like doing what
Speaker 1: I do so nice to hear some scars, some scars,
Speaker 1: so that's going to add it all time. But you
Speaker 1: can say that we're say at one hour, well disappoint Okay,
Speaker 1: that's why I got a metal plate in my head.
Speaker 1: Oh I was feeling that. I didn't want to say anything.
Speaker 1: It's sharp, that's all right, sets off all the alarms.
Speaker 1: Can't fly anymore. Who wants to fly anyway? So if
Speaker 1: I work out of town, they gotta gotta take me
Speaker 1: in on a train. Tickets tickets right here. I gave
Speaker 1: me my ticket. You'll have to step in front into
Speaker 1: the thing again. Okay, I got a metal plate in
Speaker 1: my head. Are you not security? Nazi security thought, she said,
Speaker 1: Are you Nazi security? No, No, you sound like you are. No. No,
Speaker 1: I just need okay, goddamn, I'm sorry security. Would you
Speaker 1: mind going back through the metal detector. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: you in well, just the old metal plate in my head.
Speaker 1: I mean, I get it, but I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: have you. What I need you to do is clear
Speaker 1: the rest of your body. If you don't mind bending
Speaker 1: over and back and through. Sure, I'll clear the rest,
Speaker 1: all right, and then we'll just keep your head on
Speaker 1: the other side of this detector. Okay, we'll do that.
Speaker 1: There's something in your I got a trick me, you know,
Speaker 1: that's been replaced. No, that makes sense. I'm practically cyborg
Speaker 1: at this. Would you mind? What I need you to
Speaker 1: do is past all of the parts of your body
Speaker 1: that are human. We're under a time crunch because I
Speaker 1: got I gotta be on set. Well, I'm really I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be on set in two hours. All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I just got I just went through hair and makeup,
Speaker 1: and they told me to fly. They got me a ticket.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to fly to set. I know we're friends,
Speaker 1: but you're not flying today. And that's how it goes.
Speaker 1: Steve the pool Man, Oh that's what. Oh so much time.
Speaker 1: It's better at the pool laws track. Our final scene
Speaker 1: for the show comes from Simon new Road. I just
Speaker 1: started listening to your podcast last week and was instantly
Speaker 1: hook really enjoyed listening through old episodes. Wow, we've got
Speaker 1: old episodes and already excited with new ones to come
Speaker 1: out as well. I don't know everyone well enough to
Speaker 1: comment on who should be nicer, meaner too, but will
Speaker 1: say that James Cne looks a little bit like my father,
Speaker 1: so I expect him at my next ball game. On
Speaker 1: the scene suggestion, our brave adventurers have been traveling for
Speaker 1: months in search of the Holy Grail. As their journey
Speaker 1: nears its end, they soon realize that the Holy Grail
Speaker 1: rest somewhere in the mall of America. Thanks for all
Speaker 1: the wonderful episode, Simon. Mm hmm, my leash. We have
Speaker 1: followed the map of the Crystal Sun. We know that
Speaker 1: somewhere underneath its ground lies the catacombs of the Knights
Speaker 1: of the Templates. They have the grail, then dig dig
Speaker 1: Sir Charles, lady wants anywhere peasant. When we find the grail,
Speaker 1: we will unite and take over. Excuse me, guys, excuse me?
Speaker 1: Do you have a permit for digging this? This sermit
Speaker 1: for digging? Digging the audacity? This is a parking lot.
Speaker 1: So okay, let me see this. Good for you. That's
Speaker 1: a scroll with the seal of the Pope that's written
Speaker 1: in cursive. I can't read this. You can't read cursive
Speaker 1: and read curses. I can't read cursive. Idiot, hasn't I
Speaker 1: haven't seen cursive since I was in elementary school. Smell dagger,
Speaker 1: Smell my dagger. How do you any idea how long
Speaker 1: we've been journeying the blood of those who defied us earlier? Listen,
Speaker 1: I run security for this small here, and if you
Speaker 1: start digging, I'm going to get in trouble. So are
Speaker 1: you going to get into trouble? Local night that then
Speaker 1: there must be some king we can talk to. Who
Speaker 1: do you work with? Oh is your liege? Well? I
Speaker 1: work for I work for Black and Decker Security. We
Speaker 1: must I don't think it's bring Black and Decker here,
Speaker 1: two King just like in Sparta, an archaic lan. You
Speaker 1: just got him the product peasant. Peasant, guys, if you
Speaker 1: want honestly, there's a sewer captain in your mid Lady
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, there's a sewer cap just over here. If
Speaker 1: we go under, we can save the trouble. Can to
Speaker 1: go to your home? We can't to meet Black and Ticka.
Speaker 1: Bring us Black and Decca. You don't want to meet
Speaker 1: my boss, Okay, you don't want to meet him. He's
Speaker 1: a real hard ass. We have we have filled many
Speaker 1: foul beasts on this questay, and we will fell many more.
Speaker 1: Never stop felling. Okay, Well he's he's working security at
Speaker 1: the arcade. I'll go get him right now. We shall
Speaker 1: go with you, I wouldn't. You guys are not dressed
Speaker 1: for good. Okay. So if it's up down, up down,
Speaker 1: how do you go? Side by side? Just move it side, Jed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've brought some people. They would like to they'd like
Speaker 1: to do some digging out in the parking lot. This
Speaker 1: is my boss, Jared. Be you black or be you deca?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Be you black or be you Decca. I
Speaker 1: don't know your name, Lee, Oh your name Jared? It's Jared,
Speaker 1: Jared of the Blacks of the Deckers, Jared of of Monterey, Monterey,
Speaker 1: barely looks of age to be a king of any sort.
Speaker 1: How did your father die? How did you become heir
Speaker 1: to the throne? It was? He hasn't passed yet. But
Speaker 1: where's your father? Then we will speak to him. He
Speaker 1: works at the ace. Atto. I can't really leave my position, Jared,
Speaker 1: I'll watch the arcade. But they have swords, she has
Speaker 1: a dager. Do you mind just taking them? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be part of this. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to this larpin thing. Do you give us permission
Speaker 1: to dig? Jared? Yeah, sure, you can't. Get Well, there
Speaker 1: it is, there it is, and dig we sout? Okay,
Speaker 1: well all right, well do you to start digging? Peasant? Peasant?
Speaker 1: Where inside that temple, that massive white temple inside there
Speaker 1: where all the people are going inside? Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no no. You were going to dig
Speaker 1: in the parking lot tells us to dig? Who talks
Speaker 1: to God? You guys can't dig inside. It's cold heart steel,
Speaker 1: so hollow, so hollow. Bless us all so we may
Speaker 1: dig properly, bring out our swords are instruments up and
Speaker 1: let us partake of the earth with daggers and swords,
Speaker 1: bringing the earth to the sky and letting the sky.
Speaker 1: I met us. We don't have you like a facial stop.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a facial I keep some of the face.
Speaker 1: I'll take some of that face. Uh. Yeah, we're genna.
Speaker 1: Just a heads up for anybody's security on the floor.
Speaker 1: We're getting reports that there's some who swords. Who's on
Speaker 1: the channel. Uh, this is Tony. I'm just in the
Speaker 1: booth with Jared. I I brought him. I brought the
Speaker 1: guys to Jared and he let him. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at the channel. This is Tim, Tim. Where are
Speaker 1: you located? Well, I'm just outside of the We need
Speaker 1: to update the goddamn binder. That's secondary. There's there's stabbing
Speaker 1: people in the face. I think I don't know who
Speaker 1: I'm talking to. Everybody's coming through on a channel. I
Speaker 1: don't know who I'm talking to. You gotta get to
Speaker 1: the right by the topic. Let's meet at the hot
Speaker 1: topic downstairs. Yeah, but that's so far away from where
Speaker 1: they're at there there by the the wall. Jacok Shaven,
Speaker 1: who is this who? Jim, we need to do the water.
Speaker 1: We don't. We're not supposed to touch from water. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we we don't. We don't touch link down here, Javon
Speaker 1: Cheffy Chevy. This is the This is security channel. Every
Speaker 1: Chevy six channel six things is the security floor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know where services are Chevy. This
Speaker 1: is this is security. I don't know, Chacho, Chevy, and
Speaker 1: we need to get someone over to the front. Well,
Speaker 1: this cutting people's faces off? This serious? Who is this?
Speaker 1: This is Tony? We mean with this? Welcome to the gap?
Speaker 1: Can I help you? Where are you from? Where are
Speaker 1: you folks from England? Oh my goodness, he traveled all
Speaker 1: the way. How are we to bridge this gap? How
Speaker 1: how far across is the gap? And all their monsters
Speaker 1: in the gap? It's just this one store in the
Speaker 1: for kids on the other side. Children are being held here.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, well not I mean they shouldn't be. But
Speaker 1: sometimes the children, the children are in the gap or
Speaker 1: on the other side of the gap. Well, a lot
Speaker 1: of children are in the gap because oh my god,
Speaker 1: you look like a medium. Thank you. He's not a psychic.
Speaker 1: You can't it's not a psychic. I can talk to god,
Speaker 1: I can tempt to doubt that. Please, I am starting
Speaker 1: to doubt that very much that I think you might
Speaker 1: look at fine all right, medium, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? What are you doing? You're undermining
Speaker 1: me in front of that woman? What are you that's
Speaker 1: not a woman? Please, it's not a woman. I know
Speaker 1: a woman when I smell a smell. This one is
Speaker 1: safe foam, Thank you very nice? Yes, look at those
Speaker 1: How does that look? You've been working out like that?
Speaker 1: Is that something? Good? Are you? If you do? What? Jim?
Speaker 1: Do you belong to? Sign up? Immediately? Tell us dressmaker?
Speaker 1: What is this? Camp? Snoopy? Camp Snoopy? Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of kids that go on over there
Speaker 1: side trying to stay away. That appears to be a
Speaker 1: giant statue of a dog. Yeah, well that's Snoopy. And
Speaker 1: the location of the grail, he's very Why do you
Speaker 1: say that because ancient law has jumbling on't you? What
Speaker 1: does no one know where the damp grail is? Ancient
Speaker 1: law has it that a giant dog guarded the grail? Really? Yes?
Speaker 1: Well then I take it back. Let's sake, do you
Speaker 1: have these khakis in the thirty four. We certainly do.
Speaker 1: Let me bring out two pairs. I'm sorry, do you
Speaker 1: have kids here at the Snoopy the Snoopy Palace. No,
Speaker 1: we have already bridged the gap. Kids. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: You can't come in here. This is where we have.
Speaker 1: This is a holding zone for children. It's a playpen.
Speaker 1: We babysit well while parents go. We keep them safe.
Speaker 1: So you can't come in here. What would you call
Speaker 1: a plate in a holding zone? It's just technical term
Speaker 1: to help you guys understand why we can't have it's
Speaker 1: a prison. It's not a prison. You're in prisoning the child.
Speaker 1: Look at them, they're having fun on the slide. We're
Speaker 1: here to storm the gates. You can't come in here.
Speaker 1: This is free, but we'll give you a facial. A facial.
Speaker 1: That's right, we've done it before. Listen. I'm in charge
Speaker 1: of making sure that when the parents come back for
Speaker 1: these kids, that these kids talk to the faceless man
Speaker 1: at belk. Yeah, okay, let the kids go. Now. You
Speaker 1: say this is a polo, Yeah, that's right. Interesting, such
Speaker 1: soft fabric. Straight, we'll just try it on. I think
Speaker 1: it's going to fit perfectly. That's good that's good. You
Speaker 1: know what, Before you put the polo on, let me
Speaker 1: just ask you a couple of questions. You in town
Speaker 1: as long as it takes to find the gray the
Speaker 1: other customers means right now, you're always busy, my know when.
Speaker 1: But this particular customer looks like mon is helping me.
Speaker 1: She is sturdy, steward. I'm not a woman. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: telling If this is what it takes, I'll be fun.
Speaker 1: Don't do that to yourself. There weren't so much more
Speaker 1: than that. I want him to do myself. Enjoy, enjoy,
Speaker 1: Thank you. Clara's you look stupid in that shirt? What
Speaker 1: did she say to me? Don't don't, don't even She
Speaker 1: doesn't deserve all right, She's just a petty cock blockers.
Speaker 1: You put on that pillow right now, Mr, and you
Speaker 1: march back forward, back forward to one too confident. I
Speaker 1: feel good, don't you? Lord child? What are you doing
Speaker 1: in the fitting room? What are you with her? Then
Speaker 1: told me to come into here and look for the grill,
Speaker 1: and we just talk of a woman's face off. Tell
Speaker 1: me tell me he doesn't look better without the chest plight?
Speaker 1: What do you think something light us? Silhouette I'm not
Speaker 1: right to it. How many items did you take into
Speaker 1: this room? Must have rule? I mean I didn't know
Speaker 1: if I needed something for fall. There's only five items.
Speaker 1: Have you defied the laws of this land? Yes, I
Speaker 1: have so be it. Take my nighthood, take my medium, miss.
Speaker 1: But before you do that, let me get some shorts
Speaker 1: for you. And I think, but nothing fits me right.
Speaker 1: I would have a strange shape. Oh, I don't know
Speaker 1: about that. I have a strange shape. I can't wear
Speaker 1: jeans sleaves. I agree, who can and who should? Let's
Speaker 1: put you there a nice little dress. Yeah yeah, let
Speaker 1: me get a little summer number. Isn't she wonderful? What
Speaker 1: do you mean? Yes, yes, fantastic. I thought not a woman,
Speaker 1: but maybe a woman. Maybe a woman. I'm totally convinced.
Speaker 1: I love her. I'm thinking about not going after the
Speaker 1: grail and settling down, Lord Charles. I think it might
Speaker 1: have an opportunity here at the gap. I really think
Speaker 1: this could be a big thing for me. Huh. But
Speaker 1: keep your mind on the prize. The prize of the
Speaker 1: Grail could have any maiden of your choice, including Vaughan.
Speaker 1: Now I haven't now, maybe it's a who important. Maybe
Speaker 1: the journey for the grail is actually the grail itself. No,
Speaker 1: because I don't have anything. But maybe because you're not
Speaker 1: searching correctly, settling and finding your buddy, huh, finding that
Speaker 1: thing that connects you the grounds you. Yeah, maybe that's
Speaker 1: what the grail is. That can't be. No, we've been
Speaker 1: on this quest for years and years. That would be
Speaker 1: a disappointing finale. Grail, No grail, just you finding love
Speaker 1: at the gap. Well, see how you feel like. You
Speaker 1: put on these shorts and you try on the summer
Speaker 1: tray right in your rooms, try them on. Let us
Speaker 1: know what you think. Now, you to put you in
Speaker 1: some pants, yes, we do, might take off the chair,
Speaker 1: all right, yes, yes, all the real prosthetic dick on.
Speaker 1: It is not an illusion. My penis was taken off
Speaker 1: of the dragon emotion. V. You can't let people be
Speaker 1: naked out here with prosthetic dicks on. That's why you
Speaker 1: have to keep I'm sorry, you have to keep that
Speaker 1: whole situation in behind the curtains. I'm getting in pants. Relax,
Speaker 1: it's fine. It's a prosthetic penis, very lifelike, a little fist.
Speaker 1: It's more security. Everybody puts their hands up. Everybody put
Speaker 1: their hands up, drop the swords. I like these shorts
Speaker 1: alight you you with with all the different kinds of
Speaker 1: clothes off? Now look, just calm down. You could just
Speaker 1: say the guy with the huge, weird penis. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to say that, the guy with clothes when he's
Speaker 1: naked with a steel penis touching the floor. Good call,
Speaker 1: guy with penis touching the floor? Who are you talking
Speaker 1: to you? Are you shore as anyone else on that?
Speaker 1: Can you play it back off? I mean goodness? If
Speaker 1: penis is dragging on the floor by its knuckle, are
Speaker 1: missing faces out in the mall? And so you just
Speaker 1: come by and shoot pap. These are the people that
Speaker 1: were doing doing the face taken what you were there?
Speaker 1: You were there local night. What what holds you in
Speaker 1: that vial? That vial of perfume? This my penis? No no,
Speaker 1: why would you throw it on that? Oh no? Oh
Speaker 1: no shit, I'll get another. He's so free prosthetics. You
Speaker 1: don't seem disappointed at all. You know, I have to
Speaker 1: get used to the balance again. But it's there is
Speaker 1: no holy grail here. You must leave. You're just keeping
Speaker 1: the grail for yourself. No there's no grail here. There
Speaker 1: must be as there's not a grail. Tommy, Yeah, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy,
Speaker 1: right for coming into the opposite today. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to go over a couple of things before the actual
Speaker 1: police get here. Oh thank god. I wanted to get
Speaker 1: three people shopping at the gap, and you barged in
Speaker 1: and shot one of them. Well, I shot only one
Speaker 1: of them. Everybody else that was hydrochloric acid. That's right
Speaker 1: to the face. That's what I have here to one face,
Speaker 1: one penis, and then somebody stepped into I'm sorry. It
Speaker 1: was all written down the report. What I need to
Speaker 1: know is why what set you off? Well, we don't
Speaker 1: need to know for insurance reasons. Well, the number one
Speaker 1: thing was that they were they opened up the children.
Speaker 1: They have weapons, They had swords. They had swords, so no, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: had swords. Wow, that's scary. So you thought you'd shoot them,
Speaker 1: the people with the swords, and then throw hydro clark. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to use a sword, so even
Speaker 1: if I was going to try to use a fair fight,
Speaker 1: I would probably lose phrase drop the sword, the dust
Speaker 1: cross your mind at all. I don't know for sure.
Speaker 1: But I think that's what I said first, because we
Speaker 1: have a video of it. Oh please don't play that video.
Speaker 1: Let's go ahead and play all right, so you can
Speaker 1: see that wasn't in reverse. I'm pretty sure, just based
Speaker 1: on the words alone coming out correctly after you shot.
Speaker 1: So when the police get here, are they gonna arrest
Speaker 1: Timmy Tames tame spany, that's who you are? Send them
Speaker 1: saying that correctly. That's a lot of trouble, my man, murder.
Speaker 1: Are you sure that's not just a rumor? No, what
Speaker 1: you gotta do on video? Play the video? Wait phrase, mother?
Speaker 1: What are you doing your own sound effects? We can
Speaker 1: hear you don't have to do that. Play it again,
Speaker 1: Play it again? Well it's much less enjoyable. We don't
Speaker 1: talk about the alright, let's rewind it. Play again. What
Speaker 1: do you mean there's something wrong with the video? Well,
Speaker 1: just I don't know if Elliott? Are you mad at me? Look, Dory,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for this. Okay, okay, I said, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not pushing it. You don't want to be. We
Speaker 1: went to the amusement park. We sat in the same ride.
Speaker 1: I mean, isn't that enough? I thought? He said? You know,
Speaker 1: it's not over till we're buddies. And I don't feel
Speaker 1: I'm vulnerable. You're not vulnerable. Can we be co workers
Speaker 1: without being buddies? I I okay, okay, if that's how
Speaker 1: you wanted to be. I just felt like in the
Speaker 1: question you weren't even vibing with me. You know, all right,
Speaker 1: fund you take the lead, You take the lead, and
Speaker 1: I'll vibe. I'll vibe, okay, Timmy, Timmy Tames Tootles if
Speaker 1: that is your name, he's stupid, punk ast, big mother fucker.
Speaker 1: I'm just a security card. You know what you are?
Speaker 1: A murderer, isn't that right? You little slut? Little look, oh,
Speaker 1: you gotta come on your face, your little it's not come,
Speaker 1: that's not come. Help. I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: get an injury and with an accommodation and excellence in service.
Speaker 1: The Dorian Dreen Doreen McCluskey. I want to say I'm
Speaker 1: sorry for some of the things I've said in the
Speaker 1: questioning room, but it's been my pleasure to serve and
Speaker 1: an honor. And I got to give a special thanks
Speaker 1: to my buddy Elliott Man, my buddy too. During you know,
Speaker 1: We've had a lot of plays over the years, good Cop,
Speaker 1: bad Cop. But when she went to come all over
Speaker 1: your face, I knew exactly how to handle that and
Speaker 1: we got the purpose, we got the purp. Yeah. Now
Speaker 1: cutting the ribbon for the new library. They come on
Speaker 1: your face Library? Is I never knew it was going
Speaker 1: to leave the room. What happened in there? I never
Speaker 1: thought it was going to leave the room. But snip,
Speaker 1: is this the come on your face Library? Just it is.
Speaker 1: We've heard tale that the grail is here. Copper smells
Speaker 1: like coppers on any of that scene. Oh that's our
Speaker 1: show for today's thank our ALCOMI is so nice to
Speaker 1: have for the founding members together. Let's go to Vanessa
Speaker 1: Raglan Please, Vanessa, thank you so much, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: What did youlight plume? Any adults live here? Zero zero today?
Speaker 1: Uh Donny's Typewriter. Yeah, come check it out. We've got
Speaker 1: a lot of great shows and if you're not in
Speaker 1: l a um, you can still look at Instagram and
Speaker 1: then when you come is it you can have the
Speaker 1: popcorn so Dynasty Extraordinary calendar of events. Please go check
Speaker 1: out at DYNA's d typewriter dot com. Thank you Craig
Speaker 1: Atkowski at Kakowski on Twitter, see Kakowski on the Instagram's
Speaker 1: and listen to or watch the new animated show Archibald's
Speaker 1: Next Big Thing What the Hell on Netflix. I'm just
Speaker 1: in a couple of episodes, but it's really fun, particularly
Speaker 1: for kids like six to ten. It's Tony Ale created
Speaker 1: this animated show, and I was lucky to do a
Speaker 1: couple of voices on it. Well. Based on today's episodes
Speaker 1: and content, I'm sure a lot of watching before before
Speaker 1: they replaced my voice with somebody pore suitable. James Jeeney,
Speaker 1: So nice to have you back in the saddle. It's
Speaker 1: great to feedback in the Saddle. Beer supply second and
Speaker 1: fourth Wednesdays at the west Side Comedy Theater. First Sundays
Speaker 1: of the month at the West Side Comedy Theater. We
Speaker 1: had thank you for reminding we had a live show.
Speaker 1: Uh this is airing quite a bit afterwards and first
Speaker 1: Sunday of every month, but it went great our first
Speaker 1: show on September first, I'm gonna keep saying first, so
Speaker 1: thanks for reminding me. Yeah, first Sunday of every month
Speaker 1: for in Los Angeles, specifically the Santa Monica area, the
Speaker 1: West Side Comedy Theater. Yeah, very excited about that. Will
Speaker 1: you beat the next one? I will not miss another
Speaker 1: one until next fall. I my plans. I killed me
Speaker 1: to see that. There were so many people having so
Speaker 1: much fun and I wasn't there. It was packed house
Speaker 1: where you were missed. I'm glad that I was missed.
Speaker 1: You know who was there, Joey Greer. I was there
Speaker 1: and and tell everyone how it went. People going, where's James,
Speaker 1: So he's not here and they were like, yeah, they're
Speaker 1: faking Oh no no, but there was rice. We had
Speaker 1: to push people away because they were so upset you
Speaker 1: weren't there. That's not bad news. Yeah, I don't they
Speaker 1: hurt people. So at Jeffy Greeber At Jeffy Greeber on
Speaker 1: Instagram all the shows I posted that we're doing, so
Speaker 1: just check it out. Uh. We're also gonna be working
Speaker 1: on the Grand Feet apparently to look forward to some
Speaker 1: serious updates. Our own Doug Bang. We had a conversation
Speaker 1: prior to the show, and he's ready to kick some
Speaker 1: ass and help out, and Joe you're gonna step up
Speaker 1: as well. All right, Well that's all we need to
Speaker 1: hear and let's like Doug Bam. Shall we thank you
Speaker 1: so very much our post sound design artist Raphael Breed,
Speaker 1: our producer Sophie Liechterman's of course, I heart radio. I
Speaker 1: encourage all of you to write a review. Please tell
Speaker 1: everyone you've ever met and write to us with a scene,
Speaker 1: suggestion or just a comment. Your name here, lock me
Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here, and locked me
Speaker 1: this dot com. Once again, I'm Kevin Pollock, That Kevin Bald.
Speaker 1: Until next time,