Speaker 1: Hey there, Kevin Pollock here. I wanted to invite you
Speaker 1: all to become a Patreon supporter of Alchemy This. Go
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Speaker 1: member again. Go to Patreon dot com slash alchemy this
Speaker 1: and thank you. Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy
Speaker 1: This on your host Vivin boy guest that Kevin bod
Speaker 1: that well. I'll tell you this. When I was four
Speaker 1: and a half, my mom took me to kindergarten orientation
Speaker 1: and during it ship my pants and I see but
Speaker 1: you're not okay? Is that answer your question? No? Huh,
Speaker 1: but I digress. Let's meet our chemists, shout we in
Speaker 1: no particular order. Please say hello to James any Hi, Jimmy.
Speaker 1: Everybody sausage looking penis sounds funny to me. My penis
Speaker 1: sounds normal to everybody. He's almost no sound. Do you
Speaker 1: think we actually landed on the Moon back in sixty
Speaker 1: nine or was it all produced on sound stages as
Speaker 1: some believe. I believe that we did land there. It's
Speaker 1: possible that that video was produced because they couldn't get
Speaker 1: a film crew up there. But I believe we landed.
Speaker 1: We couldn't get a film up there. I mean, you
Speaker 1: don't think they set up the camera went back inside
Speaker 1: for the big reveal. I don't know. It seems like
Speaker 1: to me a difficult task for astronauts. They're busy with
Speaker 1: difficult It wasn't. I'm just saying, you know, we needed
Speaker 1: to the moon. Faith in our astronauts. But whether or
Speaker 1: not they're philontographers, I don't know. I just don't know.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna give us an a plus on technology
Speaker 1: to get to the Moon in land. But it's just
Speaker 1: completely all trades. They can be astronauts and directors planted
Speaker 1: a camera. They're hard to work, They're really difficult. They're tricky.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna back to thank you for God's sakes. I
Speaker 1: know everyone agrees with me, but they were afraid to Kevin.
Speaker 1: Next up with Greg Kosko. Do you think the late
Speaker 1: great President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was shot by a lone
Speaker 1: gunman or more than one. I think there was a
Speaker 1: few people with shot by more than one person. There
Speaker 1: was one bullet hole. Did they all make it through
Speaker 1: the same hole? Was bullet hole? Yeah? So how many
Speaker 1: people could have shot him? Sorry, so the one in
Speaker 1: the neck doesn't Okay, maybe I'm wrong. I don't remember
Speaker 1: how many bullet holes there are? Was there too? It
Speaker 1: was several? Okay, Well, let me see the movie. Back
Speaker 1: into the left, Back into the left. I didn't see
Speaker 1: the movie mean some Bruder film, the documentary by Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I watched the A Bruder film first thing
Speaker 1: every day. Yeah, there's no better ways. Looking for new stuff.
Speaker 1: Please welcome back rejoining champion Caroline Carter. Oh, Miss Carter,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite type of ice cream? And please don't
Speaker 1: be lactose intolerant because I have no tolerance for them. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you something. I like mint chocolate chip and
Speaker 1: I'm lactose intolerant, so I just shoot a lot after
Speaker 1: I eat it. But it doesn't stop me. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm there with you. Chocolate mint can't be beat. And
Speaker 1: if you if hot fudge accidentally falls on it, I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not upset unless it's a cone you don't
Speaker 1: want them. What do you mean accidentally falls on it?
Speaker 1: Like what scenario? I don't know, as James, Well, have
Speaker 1: you never seen two fast working ice cream people, one
Speaker 1: person serving hot fudge and other cones of mint chocolate chip? Joey,
Speaker 1: that's how it happened. Feel better, Jope, Like, um, let's see,
Speaker 1: I had a question for Caroline. I'm sure of it.
Speaker 1: That was it was just the ice cream poopy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just you know I I was going to
Speaker 1: follow mine with the similarity is I don't necessarily ship myself.
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of gas, so maybe I'm a
Speaker 1: little tolerant. But if you don't eat it for two
Speaker 1: weeks and then you eat it and gets crazy, then
Speaker 1: you'll know, all right. Last, but Mayer socks always be
Speaker 1: soaking wet. If you think him least, it's Joey Greer
Speaker 1: Joseph of the House of Tigrarian. If they could see you, now,
Speaker 1: what would they say? Uh? Please leave? That's right to you. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get to our first scene. I should
Speaker 1: mention that we would greatly appreciate you, our favorite listener,
Speaker 1: to please write a review of the show in the
Speaker 1: next fifty two hours starting now. Apparently this is what's
Speaker 1: needed to gather more of you and stay in existence,
Speaker 1: So please help us if you really love us. All right,
Speaker 1: all today's scene suggestions regather from our listeners emails. If
Speaker 1: you'd like to submit yours, please write to the podcast
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com dot
Speaker 1: that's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Our
Speaker 1: first scene comes from Kyle, who wrote, Hey, that's it.
Speaker 1: He just wrote, Hey, Hey, I've been listening since the
Speaker 1: beginning and I love the show. One day my co
Speaker 1: workers are going to ask why I chortle at random
Speaker 1: points throughout the day. Anyway, I have some scenes suggestions.
Speaker 1: Take one or two or all three and make it
Speaker 1: a super show just for me. Or take none, and
Speaker 1: I'll only cry a little Kyle. I chose number three,
Speaker 1: and here it is. The story of Jacob's marriage in
Speaker 1: the Bible is an odd one. He worked for seven
Speaker 1: years to marry Rachel, but woke up in the morning
Speaker 1: after his wedding to find that he was married to
Speaker 1: her sister Leah, whose eyes were lovely. I'd like to
Speaker 1: know how that morning played out. Wake up, what I know?
Speaker 1: You're making that noise? Wake up? You're making the you're
Speaker 1: making the rooster noise. Hey, my wife forever? Yes, so,
Speaker 1: I don't want to look at you. I don't want
Speaker 1: to look at you yet. I don't want to look
Speaker 1: at you. Come on, you're my wife forever. I get
Speaker 1: the rest of my life to look at you. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well i'm naked. Should I look I don't know. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's not a trap. I have to tell you something.
Speaker 1: Go for it. It's easier if you turn around and
Speaker 1: look at me. Okay, Um, you look different? Yes? Sorry around? Um?
Speaker 1: What did you sleep on your face or something? I
Speaker 1: did sleep on my face, but that's not why I
Speaker 1: look different. Rachel, What the hell's going on? Why do
Speaker 1: you not I'm not Rachel? Okay, okay, I'm not Rachel. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not Rachel. I know you're not Rachel. I'm not Rachel.
Speaker 1: You're not Rachel. Dog in the corners, not Rachel, Rachel.
Speaker 1: What has happened? I'm not Rachel. I'm her sister. Hold on,
Speaker 1: time out, pump the horse. What are you saying right now?
Speaker 1: Time back in? Put the saddle on the horse and
Speaker 1: go to the races, because I'm Leah. Sh look at
Speaker 1: my eyes they're different. One is gone and the other
Speaker 1: is a beautiful brown eye. I just hold on a second,
Speaker 1: So hold on a second. Way, I'm married, Leah. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so you mean I'm married to Rachel and you know
Speaker 1: you're not married to Rachel. I don't understand this. Don't
Speaker 1: say you're married, don't say it hurt to my feelings.
Speaker 1: Hurt my feelings and you snuck him? Okay? Well what
Speaker 1: was I supposed to do? I don't not do this?
Speaker 1: What that? What kind of bet was happening between you
Speaker 1: and your six sister that made this happen? Huh? We
Speaker 1: had a big bet. We bet five chickens that I
Speaker 1: couldn't trick you seem to marrying me, So I while
Speaker 1: I lost the bet I did gain the marriage to you.
Speaker 1: So my marriage, my eternity with somebody is worth five chickens. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what it's worth. Oh God, where where is Rachel
Speaker 1: right now? She's at home, She's in the tent next door,
Speaker 1: She's in the tent, next, in the tent next. Let's
Speaker 1: all go, uh, Jennifer, let me just say, on behalf
Speaker 1: of all of Apple, how unbelievably thrilled to have we
Speaker 1: are to have you with the new network. I'm ben.
Speaker 1: Let's just go around the room and have you meet everyone.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Anis didn't say hello to Saul, and of course Rick,
Speaker 1: he's in VP of programming and we're not sure what
Speaker 1: he does. Jennifer, we are so excited to have you.
Speaker 1: We've already made the announcement as you know that you're
Speaker 1: coming to the Apple Network. I just, um, I'd like
Speaker 1: to pitch you some different ideas, uh than what you've
Speaker 1: already sort of came in to us with. You didn't
Speaker 1: like the two hour pilot. I just showed you, guys,
Speaker 1: we did. We did its moments. Yeah yeah, and by
Speaker 1: the way, but she's going to shove Maybe that's it.
Speaker 1: We're thinking. I'm just gonna throw the title out to
Speaker 1: you and see what pictures come into your mind. My
Speaker 1: mind works like a movie theater, that's right, So here
Speaker 1: we go. Ready, I'm not Rachel? Okay, I like it.
Speaker 1: So you know the character you played in Friends? Yeah, Rachel.
Speaker 1: And so we're gonna make it crystal clear to everybody
Speaker 1: because then we just we did a lot of testing
Speaker 1: and it seems everyone kind of thinks you're the character
Speaker 1: you played in Front. Okay, So still having a hard
Speaker 1: time not thinking that you're Rachel right now? I'm sorry? Sure?
Speaker 1: Are uk? You sound like you're choking in your own tongue.
Speaker 1: I'm fine. It's just that I've I grew, I really
Speaker 1: grew fond of your character. It just sounds like you're
Speaker 1: speaking from underwater, not true. Is there something? Oh God,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Sorry, can you put like a towel over
Speaker 1: your head or something? When it hurts to look at you? Jennifer,
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm okay. I have a lot of money
Speaker 1: and I'm helping to fund these Apple products and the
Speaker 1: TV shows now four ninety nine. If you want to join,
Speaker 1: and do I have to pay if I sell? I
Speaker 1: mean contractually, yes, we would just take that out. So
Speaker 1: wouldn't you wouldn't pay, you just wouldn't get them. That
Speaker 1: was four You get four dollars nine nine cents less
Speaker 1: than the thirty two million we've already promised you. Maybe,
Speaker 1: so we love you, We love you as Rachel. Let's
Speaker 1: let's just well, I think we all agree, Rachel love
Speaker 1: you as Rachel was great. Rachel was great. You know,
Speaker 1: we just that's with the marketing team. And we tested,
Speaker 1: We tested no one, We tested on animals, we tested
Speaker 1: on people. I mean, we did a lot of testing.
Speaker 1: We tested mostly on animals, love monkeys. You only had
Speaker 1: a thirty percent likability rating. No way, Well that's what
Speaker 1: the science says. And what did they do to say
Speaker 1: that at the screen and that was a yes or no?
Speaker 1: That was yes, that wasn't yes. The ones that didn't
Speaker 1: fling their pool, we assume they don't like the Well,
Speaker 1: that seems very reasonable to me, So I can't argue
Speaker 1: with that. And the people that we attested, they pete
Speaker 1: on the screen and we unit that as yes. And
Speaker 1: the people who didn't, Okay, that seems weird. But you
Speaker 1: guys are Apple, and you invented the iPhone, the iPad,
Speaker 1: the iMac the I m hm. And that's why we
Speaker 1: thought we would pitch you out some some ideas today
Speaker 1: and if you respond to any of them, great, If
Speaker 1: you don't, also great. Okay, here's another one. Um, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not Rachel. Maybe I'm not Rachel. That's another one. Okay.
Speaker 1: I just here's the thing, guys. It seems like if
Speaker 1: you have the one, you have the word Rachel in
Speaker 1: the title. Yeah, that's what people are going to think.
Speaker 1: That's why we're trying to really promote a negative a
Speaker 1: connotation with Rachel's gone, she's over, she's dead. What about
Speaker 1: another name? What about something not even related to Rachel
Speaker 1: or Jennifer? Okay, I like that because that's actually my
Speaker 1: real name, Jennifer Aniston. A lot of people call me
Speaker 1: Rachel Aniston and that's not my name. Correct, incorrect, Yes,
Speaker 1: please God stop it. Jesus Christ, I lost five chicken Rick,
Speaker 1: thanks from coming out of the albums. Well, appreciate your Uh,
Speaker 1: you're sick. You're you're a sick man. You shouldn't be
Speaker 1: at the officer. You're getting people sick. That's not true. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is true, So I'm saying it's not true. It's true,
Speaker 1: and this is just it is poured through your teeth,
Speaker 1: just like disgusting. Like to drink milk. It's not, it's normal.
Speaker 1: It's that is normal to a degree, the amount you drink.
Speaker 1: People bring gallons of water into work. You bring gallons
Speaker 1: of milk and drink that throughout the day, marking it
Speaker 1: as you go. Rick, I just if you have a minute,
Speaker 1: I wanted to go over your results again. Um, they're great,
Speaker 1: thank god. Yeah, yeah, y'all of your medical test turned
Speaker 1: out phenomenal. In fact, I just want to make one
Speaker 1: little adjustment if I could. I would like to put
Speaker 1: you on an all mucous diet. Us all. What did
Speaker 1: the doctor say? Just talk to me, Rick, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm trying him to a stuck You're not turning
Speaker 1: into a skexi. Okay, there's a box of Kleenex in
Speaker 1: front of you. Just blow your nose, Rick, I don't know, Marie,
Speaker 1: Rick looks so good. What diet is he? Well? I
Speaker 1: was kind of down on it at first, but he's
Speaker 1: on an all mucous diet. The whole family is well.
Speaker 1: Everyone's looking so good and so shiny. Thank you. I
Speaker 1: went down a dress size. Try try some mucus. I'd
Speaker 1: love to just in the ball here, just in the ball.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic, that's so good. You look better already more, babe,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have sex with you when you're like this. Baby,
Speaker 1: you're fucking crossing me up. Baby, just spat out your
Speaker 1: tooth on this sexy guy. Huh. I know I'm a
Speaker 1: sexy guy. Work out my muscles for a living. Does
Speaker 1: you have a spit on your arms and sweash your arms?
Speaker 1: I guess so, yeah, do it? Oh god, this is disgusting.
Speaker 1: My eyes. I can't really open my eyes. I noticed
Speaker 1: they're pussing up. I'm gonna call nine one one call
Speaker 1: my wife is mute. It looks like mu because it's
Speaker 1: taken over where I am in the house. We're in
Speaker 1: our second floor bathroom, in the closet in the pantry,
Speaker 1: and the closet in the bathroom the moment. A cute
Speaker 1: little toilet paper Do you know what my house looks like?
Speaker 1: It's just a guess. I've done so many of these calls.
Speaker 1: It's just something I do to pass the time. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: all right, well that was exactly right. I have a
Speaker 1: cute little toilet paper head Yeah, it's a poodle's head.
Speaker 1: How do you know that there's a poodle's head? It's
Speaker 1: just again, it's a fun, fun, little hobby of mine.
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, What is your emergency? Okay? My wife
Speaker 1: is covered in mucus and I have a secondary emergency
Speaker 1: I want to report. I think. Damn guy I'm talking
Speaker 1: to on the phone now knows everything about my dang house.
Speaker 1: I don't. I know it's a two bedrooms upstairs stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's two bedroom stairs. What the hell, dude, come on? Okay,
Speaker 1: so much fun for me. It's not fun for me.
Speaker 1: I'm taking notes. I've got about a correct ratio for
Speaker 1: super excited about it. What's happened to your wife? My wife,
Speaker 1: she hangs out with this woman. She's a real bad influence.
Speaker 1: She told her read her own mucus, all this kind
Speaker 1: of dank stuff. Right, So I'm not hearing an emergency. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well she's stroking the bad baby that you produced. But
Speaker 1: Jennifer Hanniston is on Rachel not right. Oh that sounds good.
Speaker 1: Don't spoil the ending for me. You said, know what
Speaker 1: that it's also straight from the Bible, the stories as
Speaker 1: a Bible, I specifically have not read that part, and
Speaker 1: I'm waiting to see the ending. How is that playing Jacob?
Speaker 1: How is playing Jacob? He's good, that's Brad Pitt. You
Speaker 1: can't tell that's okay. He looks terrible. No, no, he
Speaker 1: looks good. There, it's all right, Rick, I'm going over
Speaker 1: the show notes. They don't make any damn sense. I
Speaker 1: just don't understand from the pilot episode three, you've infused
Speaker 1: some kind of sci fi element to this. It looks
Speaker 1: like you've literally taken element from Babylon five. You, I
Speaker 1: mean you wrote Babylon five just like Babel. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Let me I should, I should race that there. It's
Speaker 1: a simple story, is I don't understand some very complex No,
Speaker 1: not babble on five, the story of Rachel. I mean,
Speaker 1: all we're doing is we're making Jennifer Anderson Leah and
Speaker 1: we're just having her like the fun rom come with
Speaker 1: it all. Like, is she not from Star Wars? What?
Speaker 1: Who are you? Jennifer Andison le Princess Leah, Princess Leiah.
Speaker 1: First off, break's on the mirrors. I just read it's
Speaker 1: a pronunciation joke. No, I know that character is from
Speaker 1: Star Wars. But but I don't under do you think,
Speaker 1: Oh God Jesus, I gotta sit down, Rick one one.
Speaker 1: What's your emergency? I might hear your bleeding? My I
Speaker 1: think my executive producers a room in the house. Are
Speaker 1: you in room in the house? Uh? I can see
Speaker 1: I'm at the the downstairs toilet, downstairs toilet. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: right by the day and there's a small buffet table
Speaker 1: next to me, right in the bathroom. I'm fine. I
Speaker 1: think my producers trying to kill me. He's saying the
Speaker 1: most insane things, and my ears are you might want
Speaker 1: to replace the hummus? Shut up? Yes, how did you
Speaker 1: know that? How did you know them? Again? My ears
Speaker 1: are bleeding. I think my executive producers trying to kill me.
Speaker 1: I think you may want to replace those shoes. Okay, ah,
Speaker 1: you're right, yeah, they are a lot of fashion. Just
Speaker 1: take him off. What is this? You're really good? You
Speaker 1: know me really well? Well I do, and I don't.
Speaker 1: Um So, what would you like us to do? What?
Speaker 1: What I like you to do? What do you help me?
Speaker 1: What do you mean what would I like you to do?
Speaker 1: You want someone to be sent over? What do you working?
Speaker 1: Just talk you through this. I know I know I
Speaker 1: need help. I need to talk to her. Some think
Speaker 1: or something is what I'm thinking. Okay, let's go with
Speaker 1: or something. I'm gonna sound a dentist. They're a doctor, sure, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: very high suicide, right, so keep that in mind. Please
Speaker 1: when they go up. And how long you've have you
Speaker 1: been having this problem? Um? Open wine? Um not not
Speaker 1: not often? This this has to do with my ears
Speaker 1: are bleeding. Okay, I'm going to give you a shot
Speaker 1: of mucus. Okay, right in the mouth. Okay, your mouth
Speaker 1: should be filling up with mucus. It should be harder
Speaker 1: to understand, just deeper, more guttural. You should fit right
Speaker 1: in with your producer. I'm gonna go fucking kill myself.
Speaker 1: Remember right to the podcast. If we put too much
Speaker 1: mucus in your ears. Your name here Alchemy, this dog
Speaker 1: coup and now if we're time for see number two.
Speaker 1: Mr comes from Curran Curran, who wrote Dear Alchemist, all
Speaker 1: write you from the shadowy depths of Hell. As I
Speaker 1: was committing dubious acts of treason, I found myself struggling
Speaker 1: to breathe while it's listening to this wonderful program, And
Speaker 1: eventually collapsed where I met my fiery fate. So he
Speaker 1: laughed so much at the show he fell to hell.
Speaker 1: I think he was working in hell and fell and
Speaker 1: it was fiery down there already he already worked in hell.
Speaker 1: Sounds like I can hear the eyes rolling around in
Speaker 1: your heads when the same suggestions get too specific. So
Speaker 1: I'll come right to it with mine and keep it short.
Speaker 1: And then he just wrote a one word seemed suggestion. Ocean,
Speaker 1: thanks for nothing, current Michael Ocean, Michael Osan, Yes, your
Speaker 1: table is ready, Okay, I don't need to. I don't
Speaker 1: want to sit so far into the corner. I'd like
Speaker 1: to have a big table. Why do we do this
Speaker 1: every time? It's not a big deal. It's just that
Speaker 1: they think, because there's only two of us, that we
Speaker 1: want to be hidden in a corner where no one
Speaker 1: can What does it matter what? We're here for the food. No,
Speaker 1: we're here for a celebration and to eat the food. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course, citizen the center. The center tables for sixteen
Speaker 1: people or more. I will gladly pay. No, it's not gladly.
Speaker 1: Can we get one that's just off center, like maybe
Speaker 1: something something that's for four people? Well, everything's actually increases
Speaker 1: outside the center until we get to the very edges
Speaker 1: where it's just for two people. Just I'm sick and
Speaker 1: tired of coming into this restaurant and being forced to
Speaker 1: sit in the shadows of a corner like I'm some
Speaker 1: sort of I'm upset. I feel like I'm I'm Strider
Speaker 1: from Lord of the Rings. Like money maybe, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: paper rubbing your fingers together? Are you suggesting my nipples
Speaker 1: you're gonna rubb? No? No, not nipples here. Let me
Speaker 1: just show you this, what if I was to give
Speaker 1: you you just ripped a five dollar bill in half.
Speaker 1: I don't know you get the other half when you
Speaker 1: see this at a good tabe. I I appreciate what
Speaker 1: this is about. For a table of two. I think
Speaker 1: it's appropriate to have a seed in the corner that
Speaker 1: for those tables you're done and experience would be anything
Speaker 1: other than fantastic. Honey, Yeah, clearly five wasn't enough. Five
Speaker 1: wasn't enough. Here is half of a ten. You're we're
Speaker 1: talking fifteen dollars at the end of this meal. I
Speaker 1: appreciate again, I appreciate that. I think that, but I
Speaker 1: for your experience, I believe the best we can do.
Speaker 1: Is there a problem? Curtis you a manager? I am
Speaker 1: a manager? Is he also a manager? Is Curtis a manager?
Speaker 1: And Curtis are matri D? I am a matri d
Speaker 1: Mr Ocean welcome back. And I don't want that fucking table.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be sitting in the back corner anymore.
Speaker 1: I want to be in the center. I want to
Speaker 1: be part of the people the center. As I'm sure
Speaker 1: Curtis has explained, as for parties of sixteen or more,
Speaker 1: I'll take an off center one. I'll take an off
Speaker 1: center table, off center tables or all. We have a
Speaker 1: very strategic design to a restaurant. We have a organic
Speaker 1: center table that holds sixteen or more people, and then
Speaker 1: we offset that with four four tops surrounding the four top.
Speaker 1: I'll take a four time. Okay, do you have a
Speaker 1: party of four? I will I will pay for at
Speaker 1: a table in this joint. That would be all right.
Speaker 1: We've got twenty two of us. Can you come in
Speaker 1: and just starts center table? Please follow me tables Table
Speaker 1: twenty two is gonna be alright here? Yes, yes, right,
Speaker 1: It's just it's just so I sound like I have
Speaker 1: a lot of voices in my head. That'll be fine,
Speaker 1: fantastic as long as there many voices in the head,
Speaker 1: and then we can we will grow to a number
Speaker 1: of I cannot wait, here's menus, and I'll leave some
Speaker 1: more scattered around the table as a personalities to express themselves.
Speaker 1: I'll be able to That was also for me. Oh voice, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know him a part time fantastic. Alright, do I
Speaker 1: have a let yes, serve right here. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: use it. Give him a cigarette. I'm trying to quick. Sorry, okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: forgive me that. I will bring the waiter over and you.
Speaker 1: How about the menus? Yes, they already here and I
Speaker 1: have scared them throughout. Yes they are the specials are
Speaker 1: in the first leape. Can we get some different child men? Yes,
Speaker 1: of course. I'll go back to the main major d
Speaker 1: booth and excuse me, can I have that seven dollars
Speaker 1: and fifty cents back? We're going to leave. I've never
Speaker 1: had it. You let it fall to the floor. No,
Speaker 1: I they were those half bills were handed to you,
Speaker 1: Mr Ocean. Please, there's no need for you to leave.
Speaker 1: We have your usual table. I don't want to have
Speaker 1: a hooded cow for you to wear. I don't want
Speaker 1: a hood and aura of mystery. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be a mystery like Strider and Lord of the Rings.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I said, Eric, Yeah, that's the same
Speaker 1: character as I'm familiar with the source materario. That's wait
Speaker 1: right here at your usual table. You are you sure?
Speaker 1: I'm am? I sure, yes, of course, because we can
Speaker 1: go somewhere else. Sure, cherry on top end of the night.
Speaker 1: Let's sit here. Okay, Oh my god? Look who it
Speaker 1: is is the guy who played Strider and Lord of
Speaker 1: the Rings. It's oh my god? What's his name? You? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're so close. What is it? You're still good at
Speaker 1: thinking of things? Still good thinking of things? Remember when
Speaker 1: you remembered, um, that name of that TV show when
Speaker 1: we couldn't think of it last week? That was so
Speaker 1: good Jeopardy? Yes, oh my god, Alex t his name was,
Speaker 1: it's that actor. Should I ask for an autograph, I'll
Speaker 1: go up to go up to me like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Is this bread for the table? Are you? That's good? Environment?
Speaker 1: What else? What else? Is this fork for the table? Right? Yes? Yes?
Speaker 1: What is this guy? Damn name? Folks? You're ready to order?
Speaker 1: At the actor. Yeah, he was. He was Strider in
Speaker 1: Lord of the Rings. Vigo, Vigo, are you that's a
Speaker 1: pretty well known actor. Yeah, oh yeah. Eastern promises familiar
Speaker 1: country for old men. No, I don't think so. No, Vigo,
Speaker 1: v I double g O. That's what we're saying. That's
Speaker 1: exactly that's not what you said. I think, Vigo, you're
Speaker 1: adding an eye to the end of it. Don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. We're saying we're in with an No,
Speaker 1: just say say v v and go. No Vigo. I
Speaker 1: can't help but think they forgot that we're sitting back here.
Speaker 1: We haven't gotten a water. Excuse me, excuse me, we
Speaker 1: haven't gotten busy. But wait, can you come back? Wait?
Speaker 1: That's why I don't want to sit back here, honey.
Speaker 1: Is it possible that you alienated everything angle person that
Speaker 1: works here when we arrived, But we gave them what
Speaker 1: they wanted. We sat back. Can you own your behavior
Speaker 1: and how it affects other me? Yes? You all right,
Speaker 1: You're perfect in my eyes, but no one else. Well, well,
Speaker 1: it looks like the table that time forgot. Are you
Speaker 1: are a waiter? I was a long time ago. What
Speaker 1: are you now now? I'm just a part of the upholstery,
Speaker 1: folded into the space itself. Wow, tell us imprisoned in
Speaker 1: the restaurant just like you and be what they'll forget you.
Speaker 1: How can we help you? You can't really really? Here's
Speaker 1: forty wait, don't give that, give him half. I'm a
Speaker 1: part of the poulstery. I cannot use this. Okay, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, does your family know you're here? No, they
Speaker 1: forgot about me along? What's your name? That name? I forgot?
Speaker 1: But I remember the sounds of it. Can we oh,
Speaker 1: give me two of the four sounds? Greg, that's that's
Speaker 1: an actually if I remember. But I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do, honey, I don't want to startle you. But
Speaker 1: I think that's a chair. You think Greg's a chair?
Speaker 1: I think that that person or I'm a part of
Speaker 1: the upholster. Are you by chance a chair? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I thought. Are you? You know? What? Do
Speaker 1: you mind getting away from our table? Because I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to keep you waiting, folks. Everything okay here, No, it's
Speaker 1: not this upholstery has just come up to us. A
Speaker 1: little out of sorts today, is lovely? Could I ask
Speaker 1: about the specials place? Yes? Absolutely, we have a grilled
Speaker 1: mocky mocky with a salmon glaze. So you have the
Speaker 1: grilled moy. We have a grilled mockey maheme. We've glazed
Speaker 1: it with salmon. And then there's a side of cod.
Speaker 1: So that's our triple fish special and Tecti fish I
Speaker 1: effective fish. We also have a hangar steak that's hanging
Speaker 1: right over the plate and you've got to eat it soon.
Speaker 1: It's going to fall right off, okay. And that comes
Speaker 1: with and that's seventy okay. Well, and that's just the steak.
Speaker 1: So it's all a card. I'll take. I'll take the
Speaker 1: hangar steak, will you, yes, pakay. My husband will have
Speaker 1: the hangar steak. Okay. It normally comes rare. It's fine, okay.
Speaker 1: And for you, ma'am, you have traffic to get the
Speaker 1: traffic to okay, I'll get the triple fish. It's fantastic,
Speaker 1: is it. It's one of my favorites. Can you just
Speaker 1: make sure then that you still have one available in
Speaker 1: the kitchen. Salmon glaze up, firing salmon glazer, this cod.
Speaker 1: We fire this cod and this is not the way
Speaker 1: we do It's five are the cop you don't want
Speaker 1: it skin on. I want skin on alive. I want
Speaker 1: it dead and cook to go. Okay, Well, this is
Speaker 1: a little different from the last place I were. Okay,
Speaker 1: the last place your cort is not here. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was an aquarium. Okay, standing, those fishes were supposed to
Speaker 1: be a lie. I don't believe it. I need that
Speaker 1: triple fish, that triple fish working most Okay, I have
Speaker 1: my steak. I need the triple understand that. Okay, we
Speaker 1: got an expedite on time. Okay, it's hard to catch
Speaker 1: the fish. There's a little slippery. Okay, they should be
Speaker 1: dead already. Don't bring these fishes in a lie. I
Speaker 1: don't want to kill the freaking fish you have? Do
Speaker 1: we can't serve live fish? Why not? Because people don't
Speaker 1: eat live fish. They eat live meat. Okay, Well we
Speaker 1: never had to do this in the aquarium because it's
Speaker 1: an aquaria. People go to see the fishes alive. Okay,
Speaker 1: so why can't we do the same thing and that
Speaker 1: I need that triple fish, that triple fish working. Let's
Speaker 1: get the jasmine rice out here, okay, thank you? All right? Great,
Speaker 1: all right? Where is that salmon? GLn don't don't touch
Speaker 1: the plate it's hot. I was hot, you were hot,
Speaker 1: it was I'm hot, and the plates cold up? Please, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get that salmon glaze. Okay, I'm trying to catch it.
Speaker 1: Give me a second. Some customers complaining that the chairs
Speaker 1: are talking again. Okay, let's make sure we get those
Speaker 1: chairs muffled. Okay, we can't have them talking while they're
Speaker 1: eating six to hanger steak. Eighty six hangar steak. That's
Speaker 1: the last one to give one here. If no one
Speaker 1: can happen, no one can happen. Can I eat it?
Speaker 1: If it's in the trash after your ship? Okay? So
Speaker 1: you see, Jennifer, you work in this restaurant. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: and so you're the waitress used to work at the
Speaker 1: aquarium and we think it's hilarious. Okay, I like it,
Speaker 1: but I don't know why the title has to be
Speaker 1: this is not Rachel from friends working at a restaurant. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: we're open to ideas. Problem is, I was still confused
Speaker 1: when I see you on the screen. I can't help
Speaker 1: but think that you're Rachel. I'm sorry. Can someone else
Speaker 1: work in your job? You know what I mean? Like?
Speaker 1: Can you fire this? You want to fire me. But
Speaker 1: you're the money guy. You're the money. Are you saying
Speaker 1: what I'm hearing? Anyways? Uh is in order for you
Speaker 1: to feel safe working here at Apple, Richard, take a walk.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to put anyone out of
Speaker 1: a job, but we'll find a place for him. Okay,
Speaker 1: welcome to the milk department. We do. We move gallons
Speaker 1: of milk left and right all day, and at the
Speaker 1: end of the day we put the gallons of the
Speaker 1: giant vat and we started up until we go home.
Speaker 1: You understand, Oh, it's not like my other job. This
Speaker 1: is I'm not I never practiced this. I didn't study this.
Speaker 1: I'm a CEO kind of guy. You don't got to
Speaker 1: study this. We move gallons of milk left to right.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, we dump all the
Speaker 1: gallons in the vat and we start them until we
Speaker 1: go home. I'm creative. I'm a creative. Do you mean
Speaker 1: you're gonna transferred there another section of Apple. I'm a
Speaker 1: milky high milk. Maria heard about his d Marshal, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have more time to work out his body. Give
Speaker 1: me how would we have ended scene too? I asked you,
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's beautiful. Our final scene comes from Steve,
Speaker 1: who wrote, I hope all of you are doing well.
Speaker 1: Super sweet. I'm having a day, but thanks. I fell
Speaker 1: in love with the show after taking Christopher walkins advice
Speaker 1: to take a listen interesting. I've been hooked ever since.
Speaker 1: I have told everyone I know to listen and write
Speaker 1: a review for the show. I hope they all do.
Speaker 1: My scene, a pet care product company that is ethically
Speaker 1: against testing their products on animal is getting complaints about
Speaker 1: the effects people's pets are having while using the products
Speaker 1: because you see, they didn't test them. Forever yours except
Speaker 1: James Stave the Sorcerer. Oh no, I think you're really
Speaker 1: going to enjoy this. I think your dog is gonna
Speaker 1: have a great time with this little plushka. I'm just
Speaker 1: read there's a lot of metal on the outside of it, like, uh,
Speaker 1: spiky kind of metal. It's cute. But if I talk,
Speaker 1: choose and it's gonna hurt no. No, now, this is
Speaker 1: this is from the Animal Love and they all the
Speaker 1: Animal Love, Animal Love Dianimal Okay, and they hurt my
Speaker 1: finger though, So if it hurts my finger, why wouldn't
Speaker 1: it hurt a dog's mouth? Well, the dog's mouth is
Speaker 1: cleaner than the humans. Okay, so you know I can try.
Speaker 1: I can just put it in my mouth. Oh I can.
Speaker 1: Dogs can have it in his mouth. I'm saying if
Speaker 1: I put in my mouth first, you don't want the
Speaker 1: dog to have it after it's been in my mouth. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, please pay for the toy. Don't don't just
Speaker 1: put in your mouth. Okay, fine, honey, can you are
Speaker 1: I think that you should put this in your mouth?
Speaker 1: Before said I shouldn't do it. Now I'm realized if
Speaker 1: you have to pass this money off and then we're
Speaker 1: going to have a sharp object if you do that,
Speaker 1: if you put in your mouth out paying for it,
Speaker 1: you'll you'll be arrested. Arrested. Are you serious? I'm serious, dude.
Speaker 1: That was that would be stealing. So okay, my card,
Speaker 1: car this is half of your card? Well yeah, he
Speaker 1: only gives half at a time. Any of the rest
Speaker 1: of your card, sir? Oh my god, what kind of
Speaker 1: customer service does this place have? You've threatened the call
Speaker 1: the cops. You won't take half of a credit card.
Speaker 1: But this is how we do business. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: nothing into personally, this is just just please just if
Speaker 1: you would like to test the product purchase at first?
Speaker 1: Ki folks, how the thing's going at him? Is everything? Okay?
Speaker 1: Everything is actually not okay. I'm actually getting piste off.
Speaker 1: He has terrible customer service. He wouldn't let me take
Speaker 1: a dump in the kitty litter box. You wouldn't know, okay,
Speaker 1: she wanted to do it on top of the kiddies.
Speaker 1: There were such the kitty litter boxes flooded with little
Speaker 1: kitty cats, and she had the poop poo, she said,
Speaker 1: And I got this first off, not appropriate to do it,
Speaker 1: and you you want to? Just the customer is always right,
Speaker 1: that's what it says. Yes, that's it. I'm putting this
Speaker 1: in my mouth? How is it, mabe? My mom? Oh babe,
Speaker 1: how is it? You like? Now? To show you some
Speaker 1: neurotoxins that are ejected once the uh the spikes ever
Speaker 1: touched flash? Okay, when babe, do you like it? I
Speaker 1: can't understand any of it in your mouth? Shall we
Speaker 1: read that up for you? I guess show honey, act
Speaker 1: like a man, act like a fucking many Did you
Speaker 1: like it? I guess we still have to take it
Speaker 1: when since we sampled it, you'll be arrested, Curtis, why
Speaker 1: would they be arrested because they would be stealing, So
Speaker 1: they don't leave with the store the store with the item,
Speaker 1: then that's not stealing. He's just sampling it and he
Speaker 1: loves it. You know, if you can get my back
Speaker 1: sometime to be great, okay, because you're literally me in
Speaker 1: front of customers, and it makes me feel like I
Speaker 1: have no authority here, and it's like why work? Why
Speaker 1: work here? You know what is the other side behind you? Say?
Speaker 1: The individuals who are the managers respect the anonymy of
Speaker 1: the workers themselves and will back them in a judicial fashion. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it says, uh, never called the bullee. Okay, Well, then
Speaker 1: what's up with that sign? Because I'm wearing two different signs?
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Excuse me? Can you help me? Yes, my
Speaker 1: monkey nearly choked on one of your collars. I bought
Speaker 1: a collar here last week for my monkey, Yes, and
Speaker 1: it nearly choked. Okay, I had to give it cpr Okay, good,
Speaker 1: Well he's fine now, but I'd like to return the
Speaker 1: caller it's used, sir. We can't. We can't accept the
Speaker 1: used caller. No, he only wore it for like five minutes.
Speaker 1: And then I left the room for like ten seconds
Speaker 1: to get to get some monkey chowel, And then I
Speaker 1: came back and he was on the floor showcase or
Speaker 1: those metal balls that are coded and ban introduced. We
Speaker 1: we cannot return that. That's like, that's it's already been used. Well,
Speaker 1: then i'd like my money back. I can't give you
Speaker 1: your money. What does that sign sign? If the customer
Speaker 1: comes back with a complaint and issues an apology from
Speaker 1: the company itself, then we will offer money back only
Speaker 1: if and then, Why that's not the sign I was
Speaker 1: pointing to? Which sign? Are you talking about? That word? Anonymy?
Speaker 1: What is that? It's a legal term? Okay, well I'm
Speaker 1: thoroughly confused by that sign. Okay, which sign were you point?
Speaker 1: So many signs here? Which signs? Sir? What signed? The
Speaker 1: customer is always right? Okay? So the middle one? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: al right, here's your money back here it is that's
Speaker 1: more than I paid. I want what I paid. I
Speaker 1: don't know how much it paid. I wasn't working that day.
Speaker 1: Here you go, excuse me, excuse me. I bought this
Speaker 1: training pistol from you and it went off in my kid.
Speaker 1: It's dead Okay, so I'd like my money back, and
Speaker 1: I don't want this training pistol anymore. I don't know.
Speaker 1: The training pistol just makes a noise. It doesn't shoot anything.
Speaker 1: Got something. I don't know if you tested it, but
Speaker 1: it's got something. Well, then you bought a regular pistols.
Speaker 1: Well I pull out it here and it was under
Speaker 1: the training pistol area. Okay, well that that is an
Speaker 1: actual revolver. You bought a revolver. I got it from here. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: what do you want me to do? I want my
Speaker 1: money back for the training pist I can't offer you
Speaker 1: money back because the pistol did exactly what it's got
Speaker 1: to do. I want my money back for this training pistol. Oh, sir,
Speaker 1: we we I cannot open the register for you that time.
Speaker 1: That time thing if somebody enters the premises with the weapon,
Speaker 1: the weapon used to harm the individual behind the counter
Speaker 1: at the cash register is not allowed to open until
Speaker 1: that person puts down the gun and offers a cellifically
Speaker 1: or a song. Okay, I really really think that you
Speaker 1: own me my money back fat this training pistol. How
Speaker 1: is that? Okay? My money back? Yeah, so you go
Speaker 1: thank you bye, Oh my god, Brodney. Yeah, I need
Speaker 1: a break. Yeah, I just need to I need to
Speaker 1: go on a fiber. Okay, I'll fill in for Can
Speaker 1: you get some more juice? Please on my brake? You
Speaker 1: want me to get orange, That's why I asked, sure,
Speaker 1: do you want a gallon or what your paper straw?
Speaker 1: You want the company paper Straw Orange Juice. That's the
Speaker 1: brand you want. Okay, I'll get you a gallon of
Speaker 1: paper straw. I also want a paper straw in the
Speaker 1: orange gain Okay, So you want a count of paper
Speaker 1: straw and you want me to sink a paper straw
Speaker 1: in there? You know I have three and a half
Speaker 1: a minute. No, this doesn't count for my break. Okay,
Speaker 1: this can't count for my break. Whenever you want to
Speaker 1: get on that? Yes, thank you, thank you. Hi. Welcome
Speaker 1: to paper straw where oranges are made of paper and
Speaker 1: our straws are made of oranges. Yeah, I'd like to
Speaker 1: get a gallon. Uh and could you drop a straw on?
Speaker 1: I want to get a gallon of O j And
Speaker 1: then could you drop a straw on? Okay, orange juice
Speaker 1: or um paper straws or a gallon of orange juice?
Speaker 1: And then one straw. Are you sure? Most people order
Speaker 1: a gallon of straws and one orange juice. I want
Speaker 1: a gallon of juice and then one straw in the gallon. Okay?
Speaker 1: Are you sure? I'm just saying we don't do returns
Speaker 1: if you look at the sign behind me and says
Speaker 1: no returns, um, and then the other sign behind me
Speaker 1: that says the order you're ordering is strange. So just
Speaker 1: confirming that, and that has kind of a drawing of
Speaker 1: your face. What is it that's perfectly drawn? If you're
Speaker 1: still deciding I'm just picking up a gallon of straws.
Speaker 1: Uh No, I'm not decide I'm getting a gallont Okay,
Speaker 1: can you believe this guy? What's weird about that? Every
Speaker 1: gallon of straws? It's straight getting the gallon of O J.
Speaker 1: That's a normal thing to do, all right, whatever you
Speaker 1: have to tell yourself, it's a liquid fluid measurement. It's
Speaker 1: not it's not for for straws. Okay, Um, sure, okay,
Speaker 1: So it's since it's such a freaking weird order, it's
Speaker 1: going to take us about five minutes, two minutes. I
Speaker 1: got three minutes on my break. I can't prep that.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I already punched it in, so you do
Speaker 1: have to wait, You don't have I can't go to
Speaker 1: the cooler and des grab a gallon to the cooler.
Speaker 1: If you go to the cooler, you're going to find
Speaker 1: a bunch of straws. There's just all cold straws in here. Yes,
Speaker 1: what the hell is up with these colds? There's no
Speaker 1: liquid of any kind. Why would there be liquid in
Speaker 1: the straw? This is paper straw and just getting my
Speaker 1: standard order of a gallon of straw. Okay, Rick, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Let's see tomorrow. Sorry, we went on a
Speaker 1: date yesterday. How do you think it went? I don't
Speaker 1: know what based on that report? How do you think
Speaker 1: it when? Do you think he likes me? I think
Speaker 1: he does. You think he likes me? I think you
Speaker 1: seeing other people? If I can be honest, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just a vibe I'm getting. Are you serious? I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know him, but I'm just throwing that out there.
Speaker 1: Protect yourself, Are you sure? No? I don't know the
Speaker 1: details of this. We had unprotected sex? What that? Why
Speaker 1: would you do that? You don't know this man, I
Speaker 1: do not know. It's our third date. Okay, well, look,
Speaker 1: well then whatever, I'm not going to judge you. I
Speaker 1: just think that was a poor choice on your end. Why, Bro,
Speaker 1: this dog food has human fingers. This dog food has
Speaker 1: human fingers in it. Is that so the dog seems happy? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't care how happy my dog is. I don't
Speaker 1: want dog food with human fingers. I want my money back. Okay, well, listen,
Speaker 1: did you read the side of the bag of the ingredients? Now,
Speaker 1: let's do that together. Okay, okay, help me, Okay, Barley,
Speaker 1: what is Barley serious? What's okay? Cool? I'm fine with grants.
Speaker 1: So there's grain? Does that help be grain fingers? Oh?
Speaker 1: Say a pretty clear, bro, I don't want human fingers.
Speaker 1: I don't care if it says that, Bro, I don't
Speaker 1: want that. I want to kill. My dog has been
Speaker 1: freaking out. It's got the human flesh flavor. Dog just
Speaker 1: spoke a little bit. Yeah. Sure, what's gonna get you
Speaker 1: two bags for free? I don't want any more of
Speaker 1: these hufu finger fucking bags. Okay, I want some regular
Speaker 1: dog food chicken chickens. Fine, what's your name? Want to kill?
Speaker 1: My name is Boof? Boof? Did you train your dog
Speaker 1: to speak no, I didn't trained my dog to speak
Speaker 1: to running a contest, and if we could videotape your
Speaker 1: dog speaking, yeah, you could win five thousand dollars. Real
Speaker 1: bro Okay, yeah, let's do it. Okay, great, all right,
Speaker 1: Now let's go to our video entries to see which
Speaker 1: dog has the funniest, cutest, silliest phrase. This is Boof
Speaker 1: all the way from Spilping, Connecticut, and here is his video. Kyle,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is Dan from the booth. Can you
Speaker 1: read that again with less enthusiasm? Just like if that's
Speaker 1: a nine, give me a six? Yeah? Sure, all right,
Speaker 1: let's uh go to all the videos we have sent
Speaker 1: in for the dogs to give us the Okay, I
Speaker 1: appreciate the sarcasm, but silly is Yeah, I get it,
Speaker 1: I get it. You don't clearly give it him a four?
Speaker 1: Stand Stan, I got I'm sorry. I understand you're you're
Speaker 1: not someone who likes notes on their performance. I was
Speaker 1: a dentist before this, so this is really hard for
Speaker 1: me to hear, because you know, I did a lot
Speaker 1: of work on myself to get to a point where
Speaker 1: I could I was able to work with people. Again,
Speaker 1: I respect your choices. Let's go back to how you
Speaker 1: were doing it. Ready when you are? I'm not ready.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready again. All right, let's just play the
Speaker 1: fucking videos and then i'll do it after Okay, let's
Speaker 1: just play the videos. Okay, well a right, but we're
Speaker 1: just recording the sound wrap around. Just just just just
Speaker 1: play the fucking videos. They need to get some of
Speaker 1: those ad reads from Dianimo love Jesus Christ. Okay, I'll
Speaker 1: just do one of the first studios. So we're not
Speaker 1: gonna play video is I mean, do you need something
Speaker 1: to get in the mood. We can play. I'd love
Speaker 1: for something to get in the mood, for a little
Speaker 1: hot damn music to come on. I'll get them. I'll
Speaker 1: get him in the mood, and I'll get him in
Speaker 1: the mood. Stay in the booth. Open this booth door now,
Speaker 1: lock him, don't let him in here. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: you in the mood. Come on back up, open the door.
Speaker 1: Take off your p take off your pains. What's the
Speaker 1: take off your pain? You got it all right? Now
Speaker 1: do some lines at the six? Was it six? We wanted? Alright?
Speaker 1: Do it at a six? Okay, I am in the mood, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: so we have right here. Okay, that's on the smell
Speaker 1: of my Okay, alright, so uh we got some videos
Speaker 1: sent in right now of these fantastic animals. These dogs
Speaker 1: are gonna be speaking right now. We're gonna pick the
Speaker 1: funniest one, the silliest one, and the first video intry
Speaker 1: we have is from Booth from Connecticut. Let's go for it. Thanks,
Speaker 1: thanks very much, great Larry. I think that's it for today.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't go do the ad read Nope? Oh cool,
Speaker 1: So we're not doing that. Yeah we do. We do
Speaker 1: have seven spots for din Animal Love. So you don't
Speaker 1: want me to do it? I just did I just
Speaker 1: get fired? My mistake? No, did I just get fired?
Speaker 1: Just do the second one? In the fifth one, take
Speaker 1: your shirt off, take a shirt off. It's gonna put
Speaker 1: you in the bo Okay, okay, it just ruins the acoustics.
Speaker 1: Let's throw this outside of the booth. Can we start
Speaker 1: this one in an eight and kind of segue to
Speaker 1: with four by the end. The Animal Lover the only
Speaker 1: group company that offers Think you're at a two? Right,
Speaker 1: I'm started at that started at it started, it started.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I just have this booth in five minutes.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to make sure you guys are
Speaker 1: hurrying the funk up. We're hurrying every day we have
Speaker 1: this conversation. You get the booth at one Okay, that's
Speaker 1: twelve minutes. I can how to read a clock. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it's hard. I was leaving at this morning and
Speaker 1: you embarrassed me in front of all my best friends.
Speaker 1: Let's let's hug best friends. Okay, let's let's hug. I
Speaker 1: want to take my pants up first. Okay, this feels better.
Speaker 1: Are you in now? I'm in the mood to wait
Speaker 1: and to learn how to read. Also, I couldn't hurt
Speaker 1: to bring a gown of straws for the room. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's just a nice chest, a room temperature straw. I
Speaker 1: don't want to cool strow. Sure, Okay, I'm gonna wait
Speaker 1: outside the door, and I'm just gonna look. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stare in. I'm not gonna blink. Okay, it's don't be weird,
Speaker 1: don't be weirded out. So you for the booth, huh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for you. Are we're in the same recording session.
Speaker 1: I'm going in the three clock I just getting really
Speaker 1: do that too? Cool? I got it early because I
Speaker 1: can't read the clocks with the lines an analog. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I always forget. That's how we can't read. Why would
Speaker 1: you know what it's rants? Oh yeah, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Sorry, Why are you talking to that chair?
Speaker 1: Talking to that chair? Oh my god? This is a chair? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I feel so embarrassed. I was just
Speaker 1: about to ask you out that. I'm on. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: do that, right, you can't you know that chair stays here.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that chair is telling you, but
Speaker 1: that chair has been here at the studio for years.
Speaker 1: What if I had, like, what if I did a
Speaker 1: date here? I didn't. We didn't. I didn't take the
Speaker 1: chair anywhere. I'm sorry. I just haven't felt this with anything. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm really happy. I would love this. Can we get
Speaker 1: a hang a steak and then a cod. I'm an engineer,
Speaker 1: all right, Okay, Well engineers kind of do the thing
Speaker 1: where they can make it all happen. Right, Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: be right back with your fish and your steak. Great,
Speaker 1: just any fish anyway, anyway, So your chair A long time,
Speaker 1: I forgot my name even Oh my god, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: I just remember the sound of it. What does this
Speaker 1: sound like Laurence? Well, Lawrence is a name, so that's
Speaker 1: probably what it is. Okay, we're doing radio a long
Speaker 1: long time. Okay, um o, this state turned, the state
Speaker 1: seemed to turn. Yeah, I'm gonna ask for the track. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll split. Do you want to do you mind getting
Speaker 1: the whole thing? I don't really have arms, so cash
Speaker 1: or anything like that. Um I guess so it'd be great. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you mind putting me on top of your car
Speaker 1: and just gonna taking me downtown? If you don't mind
Speaker 1: downtown you don't want to Downtown burned down ten years ago.
Speaker 1: All of downtown burned down ten years ago. God, oh
Speaker 1: my god, no one tells me anything. Ha oh no,
Speaker 1: there was something to jazz there. Okay, here's your fish.
Speaker 1: Watch it, watch it. It's it's still flapping around a lot.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you kill this thing straight out of the aquarium?
Speaker 1: People don't eat rough fish? What are you doing? Can
Speaker 1: I have a check please? Okay, right, I'll be right
Speaker 1: back to your checks. My steak, he didn't bring my steak?
Speaker 1: I love that stick. Oh yeah, that is the way
Speaker 1: most scenes end around here. Where's my steak? That's our
Speaker 1: show for today. Let's meet and thank our alchemists. Please,
Speaker 1: well you met them, let's thank them. Uh, Joey Greer.
Speaker 1: Always a pleasure to have you near. Thank you, right,
Speaker 1: it's good to be near you. I mean, you've heard
Speaker 1: that before. It's nice to hear it again. It really
Speaker 1: really is. It's it's just a comfort. It's it's a
Speaker 1: relationship blanket that has thrown over me. Can I try
Speaker 1: it again with sincerity? Okay? Sure? Where can folks find
Speaker 1: you on the interwebs. They can find me on Reddit.
Speaker 1: I'm just on there. Just no, just I'm they're just
Speaker 1: hanging out there to Reddit. You find me at Jeffy
Speaker 1: Greeber on Instagram. And right, it's about it, all right,
Speaker 1: cool James Heeney, I mean it's so simple. It's the
Speaker 1: real James Heney dot com. Check it out home and
Speaker 1: with James Heeney taken. That's why you wrote the real
Speaker 1: James Heeney. Actually they're believe it or not, there is
Speaker 1: another James Heney. But I tell you now sincerity, I'm
Speaker 1: the real James Hei. So go to the real James Heney.
Speaker 1: Dot com. I don't think there's any reason to harass
Speaker 1: the other James Heney, but he's not real. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: fair enough, Greig Katkowski lurking in trolling on Reddit, on Instagram,
Speaker 1: and watch the back half of season six with drunk
Speaker 1: History and now on. When you say the back half,
Speaker 1: of course, you mean well, we shot sixteen episodes and
Speaker 1: they chopped him into two half seasons. So yeah, the
Speaker 1: final half of the season six part by all right
Speaker 1: Caroline Cotter yeah four chan and on Instagram at cotter
Speaker 1: poop Cotter Pop. I'm an adult. Yeah, yeah, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us today. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Uh it was Let's thank our our engineer to the stars,
Speaker 1: Doug our sound design producer Raphael our real time producer
Speaker 1: Sophie Lichterman, Sophie and her radio. I encourage you all
Speaker 1: to write a review of the show till everyone you've
Speaker 1: ever met and right to us with your scene suggestion
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. Your
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. I'm Kevin Pollock.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. Until next time, It's yes