Speaker 1: Hey there, Kevin Pollock here. I wanted to invite you
Speaker 1: all to become a Patreon supporter of Alchemy This. Go
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Speaker 1: member again. Go to Patreon dot com slash alchemy this,
Speaker 1: and thank Welcome back to another episode Alchemy This. I'm
Speaker 1: your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock. Geez um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Can you tell me when you first
Speaker 1: noticed I had quote such a soothing and Ordan tok
Speaker 1: skating voice, But I digress. Let's mean a rock him is?
Speaker 1: Shall we know particularly order? Please say hello to Craig
Speaker 1: A cowskcakatoa east of Java. How do you like your coffee?
Speaker 1: Not at all? Don't rink the stuff, never touch al right,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. Change the thermostat because Joey Greer
Speaker 1: is here. Make it chilly, Joseph and Rye, hold the
Speaker 1: pickle in your ainus. I once saw you eat chocolate
Speaker 1: cake while stone looking like a cow chewing its cud.
Speaker 1: But I didn't sense that was your favorite dessert. What
Speaker 1: is oh wow? Favorite desserts? Um, I guess it'll be
Speaker 1: you also correct answer. Start the cab and grab the cat.
Speaker 1: It's returning champion Caroline Catter Caroline around the block. What's
Speaker 1: your least favorite thing about Joey Greer? Oh? I think
Speaker 1: like his face and personality. We would take either, so both.
Speaker 1: It's kind of pick up your NDEs. Someone like James
Speaker 1: Heeney in Jim Jack, j Jack and nuts. Uh. There's
Speaker 1: gonna need to put the under were back on when
Speaker 1: you coming home? Well, I'll be home tomorrow at this
Speaker 1: time right in the Chicago and area. Great, Yeah, where
Speaker 1: can folks see you, they will. It's they're never gonna
Speaker 1: catch me. I'm gonna be in and out in no time.
Speaker 1: But here's one thing I want to say. We have
Speaker 1: family said, send us pictures of your menial jobs. Are
Speaker 1: boring things that you know, really do it because I've
Speaker 1: got a plan. So you're saying. When people write in
Speaker 1: and with a scene suggestion, they often started by saying
Speaker 1: how much we make him laugh during their menial job?
Speaker 1: You would like photographs or video of them at this media.
Speaker 1: I would like a photograph of the location. If they're
Speaker 1: in it, all the better. If they don't want to
Speaker 1: be in it, they don't have to be in. When
Speaker 1: you say ah, you mean we would like, because it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're personally asking to add to your own Yes,
Speaker 1: we would like there we go, yeah, and we'd bring
Speaker 1: the show people. I I yeah, we the show would
Speaker 1: like pictures of your job. Please follow James's convoluted requests
Speaker 1: and send all of your photos of you would work
Speaker 1: to um I guess our Instagram account, give him his
Speaker 1: personal addressersmail to him okay, James Heeney at six to nine,
Speaker 1: than sending you one now okay or at your your
Speaker 1: name here. I'll give me this dot com the email address. Also,
Speaker 1: we'd love to anything anyway you want to get involved
Speaker 1: in the show. Damn it, I like it. Heah say
Speaker 1: hello tomorrow, Cagle Ardi, Who are you telling to do that?
Speaker 1: Just show James j Mark, it's nice to see you. Doctor.
Speaker 1: Gags are the amazing humpback Shetland pony. When the chicken
Speaker 1: did in fact cross the road, did he a get
Speaker 1: to the other side be burned down the Chick fil a?
Speaker 1: Or see he stopped, sat on an old stump and
Speaker 1: wrote a riddle about people trying to cross the road.
Speaker 1: O D all of the above and it will be
Speaker 1: on the news tonight. You guys nailed these questions right
Speaker 1: spot on. All right, let's get to our first scene show.
Speaker 1: I should mention, of course, we really need you folks
Speaker 1: to stop at this very moment, no matter what you're doing,
Speaker 1: and write a review of the show. I'll give you
Speaker 1: the next thirty four hours thirty four hours to write
Speaker 1: a view review for the show. We greatly appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Apparently it's what's needed to keep us hunting the air.
Speaker 1: Is that where we are? Okay? In your ears? Is
Speaker 1: what I really meant. We greatly appreciate that. Thank you. Oh.
Speaker 1: Today's scene suggestions were gathering from our listeners emails. If
Speaker 1: you'd like to some of yours, please write to the
Speaker 1: podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy this dot com. Our
Speaker 1: first scene comes from Dave, who wrote, I just finished
Speaker 1: listening to quote the next Great Tech Company in the
Speaker 1: Questionable Renters episode and was shocked when I could relate
Speaker 1: to one of the characters. You see, I am a
Speaker 1: survivor of tescular testescular cancer YEP. One of my balls
Speaker 1: tried to kill me, so the doc took it off,
Speaker 1: leaving me a little off balance. I chuckle a little
Speaker 1: anytime someone unknowingly does a double on tender referring to
Speaker 1: one or two nuts or balls, or leaning to one side.
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan and I have listened to every
Speaker 1: episode for everyone in the room. By the way, Dave
Speaker 1: is not uncomfortable. UH. Favorites include when the Organs fought
Speaker 1: for dominance of the body they were in. I do
Speaker 1: remember that one was a great one, and when the
Speaker 1: genius Toddlers broke out of the daycare quote Chicken is
Speaker 1: Church yeah, I've got a couple of emails now requesting
Speaker 1: we make a T shirt saying chicken his Church that
Speaker 1: resonated with people, although grears looking at me like his
Speaker 1: no idea what I'm talking about? You, okay, should be
Speaker 1: uh the secret catch phrase in this case uh for
Speaker 1: alchemy this chicken, Chicken his Church. My scene suggestion expands
Speaker 1: on Mr Uniball surprising a group therapy session where the
Speaker 1: patients only have one body part instead of the typical
Speaker 1: two when I went arm and so on. Chaos ensues
Speaker 1: when the missing parts of some patients aren't publicly visible
Speaker 1: m like kidney or in testical, and the other patients
Speaker 1: think they are just there to steal undeserved sympathy. Joey,
Speaker 1: I want you to focus on that one. He signs off,
Speaker 1: Chicken his Church day. Al Right, everyone, just take a seat.
Speaker 1: We can start today if we can. Tim appreciate it,
Speaker 1: Thank you, appreciate the enthusiasm. Gloria. Always nice to see you.
Speaker 1: Should we started up for you know what, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go ahead, and you don't have to be so loud.
Speaker 1: Despite the fact that I have one ear, Okay, I
Speaker 1: can hear you find out in my one ear. I
Speaker 1: don't think he was speaking directly to you, Roger, so
Speaker 1: your head was tilted towards him. So it sounds well,
Speaker 1: I can hear, I can hear you find Roger that
Speaker 1: thanks glor Uh. Last time a session we left off
Speaker 1: with Steve. Yeah, so Steve, I felt like we had
Speaker 1: some unfinished business. Yeah, it's it's you know, you don't
Speaker 1: think it's going to be a problem. You think that
Speaker 1: you hear you read book. I'm starting. I forgot what
Speaker 1: dud was talking about. Is because you're looking at my nostril.
Speaker 1: Don't because you're looking at my nostril, you don't keep
Speaker 1: minutes right, let the man speak about that. You know,
Speaker 1: you think that the world is moving forward, and you
Speaker 1: don't touch a book by its cover, And then every
Speaker 1: single time you get in line for fast food or
Speaker 1: a different fast food place, a third fast food. Sorry, yes, please,
Speaker 1: thank you, stop staring. Please. It's just that I can
Speaker 1: see to the back of your head through that. It's
Speaker 1: a big hole. Yes, it's it's got to do the
Speaker 1: work of two. It seems like it does the work
Speaker 1: of five or six. It's a huge nostril. It seems
Speaker 1: a little compative. I didn't mean to be compative. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you didn't, but that's how it's coming up. I said,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Oh, I'm I'm sorry. No, it was that
Speaker 1: you were mumbling it. I can hear find my inner
Speaker 1: I still have two inner ears because my outer ear
Speaker 1: was ripped off. Yeah, yeah, did you want to Did
Speaker 1: you just notice that? Huh? Did you notice? I thought
Speaker 1: he was just a dick. I didn't realize you had
Speaker 1: one ear. You still just have the one dick though, Yes, right,
Speaker 1: it's a little humor. I think it's good to keep
Speaker 1: things light funny. He's is a lot of good jokes. Um.
Speaker 1: I've been having kind of a hard time, as everyone knows.
Speaker 1: My left butt cheek got burned off right recently. And
Speaker 1: we're just saying you had trouble sitting down last time. Yes,
Speaker 1: and so I appreciate that you had one less chair
Speaker 1: this week, so I didn't have the option. That was
Speaker 1: I thought thoughtful. Um, but I guess I just didn't
Speaker 1: realize how much it kind of played into my life. Well,
Speaker 1: as an outsider, I can tell that it's just onsider.
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm sorry that was a mistake as an insider,
Speaker 1: As a guy that's got one outsider and he screamed
Speaker 1: at me, got on my face, and I can tell
Speaker 1: it's your spit because you have bad breath, and thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. It's not a compliment. What I was trying
Speaker 1: to say is that that one butt cheek is bigger
Speaker 1: than any of the two that any of us have anywhere.
Speaker 1: So you use me? Yeah, what do you mean? It's
Speaker 1: not a good thing, Carl? You're batting a thousand a day.
Speaker 1: What I don't know. I like to come to this
Speaker 1: freak show and wow yourself me, Carl, Why don't you
Speaker 1: speak for yourself? Listen? Why are you here as a
Speaker 1: guy with just one intestine? It's rough, It is rough
Speaker 1: going through every day life one intestine? You mean like
Speaker 1: large and small, or like just one of the two,
Speaker 1: or there pretty much one continuous And I don't want
Speaker 1: to go into the horror story. You know what I think?
Speaker 1: It's this is the safe place where you that's what
Speaker 1: show of hands who would like to hear the story?
Speaker 1: So well? What it is is that instead of having
Speaker 1: a large and a small intestine, I had one medium
Speaker 1: intestine and it wraps around twice as long as either
Speaker 1: of the regular ones. So it but it's still it's Carl.
Speaker 1: You feel you belonged here with that ridiculous you've said
Speaker 1: that in past tense. Right, has anyone ever discriminated against
Speaker 1: you because they can tell on the outside you only
Speaker 1: have one intestine? Okay, I can't look at you. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. Let me feel like it was a little longer,
Speaker 1: you'd be an elephant man. All right, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm an asshole, yes, so far. So you don't know.
Speaker 1: You don't know what it's like to have a single intestine.
Speaker 1: Everybody here has to It sounds better than having to
Speaker 1: just travels around a little more before it comes out.
Speaker 1: It sounds like the exact same amount. It sounds like
Speaker 1: that single one is doubled, which would be a small
Speaker 1: and large. Well, the large intestine isn't technically that one,
Speaker 1: you know what. That's not the point. I realized that
Speaker 1: the point is that Carl's an asshole. Not true, Carl,
Speaker 1: how about we get down to some of the difficulty
Speaker 1: you've had assimilating into the rest of society, the way
Speaker 1: that the rest of the group has. Well, a lot
Speaker 1: of you guys can like it doesn't affect you. You
Speaker 1: can sit down with your one but no, I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm standing right. She's making a scene. Just sit down.
Speaker 1: You want me to sit you want to watch me
Speaker 1: fall down? Or I got my other one, my other Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: Now we have to kick her out because she doesn't
Speaker 1: have one of the things. She has none of the things.
Speaker 1: You guys were my family. She Get out of here.
Speaker 1: Get out of here. It's the same space. Get here.
Speaker 1: Tell my story, well, Carl, Okay, I was man enough
Speaker 1: to admit I was wrong. I was wrong. She shouldn't
Speaker 1: have sat. What's up with these small open flames? We
Speaker 1: gotta put these out. It just shouldn't be on candlelight.
Speaker 1: Candle light makes me set the mood better. That's why
Speaker 1: I like these here whatever, al right, who else would
Speaker 1: like to share today? I'll share? Okay, I I only
Speaker 1: have let's say your name. My name is Josh. Hey, Josh, hey, Josh,
Speaker 1: the one. We'll do that. You don't have to do that.
Speaker 1: We want to make you feel Try it one more time.
Speaker 1: My name is Josh. You're not giving us any space
Speaker 1: to respond. I'm just trying to introduce myself. Okay, Hello,
Speaker 1: my name is Josh. I Um, I only got one mode,
Speaker 1: and that's to give it all. That doesn't count. That No,
Speaker 1: we're talking about body parts. One mode does not count
Speaker 1: that dawson't count and got an on switch? And I
Speaker 1: give how many T shirts do you have layered on
Speaker 1: you right now? And say things like that, I got
Speaker 1: a whole bunch. I count seven. This one right here
Speaker 1: says give it all or give nothing. This one here,
Speaker 1: this is built tough, built, a tough Ford. That's just
Speaker 1: a Ford T shirt? How did you find out about
Speaker 1: this meeting and why did you think it made sense
Speaker 1: that you would join us? Well, I was walking by
Speaker 1: the bulletin board at the rec center and I saw
Speaker 1: that there was the center the wreckreation. Okay, thank Carl,
Speaker 1: thank you, You're welcome. And so there was trying to
Speaker 1: specify which rec center. But yeah, sure, let's just fresh
Speaker 1: over it on the center. Ford built tough right, great chassis? Uh?
Speaker 1: And me too? Do you work for Ford? Which it's
Speaker 1: a dreamcar? Myne? Al right, everyone's got one. No reason
Speaker 1: yours shouldn't involve clear back panel, smooth interior. All Ice
Speaker 1: just gets your story. Yeah, wait, smooth interior suggest that
Speaker 1: other cars do not have a smooth And did you say,
Speaker 1: all Ice, I gotta keep it cool. Okay. So you
Speaker 1: saw the listing on the wreck board, and I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, if this is a safe space for
Speaker 1: people and they're going out there and they're telling their story,
Speaker 1: I gotta go into the same thing. Okay, you know,
Speaker 1: because I gave a hundred ten. All right, you want
Speaker 1: to do this poor son of a bitch while he
Speaker 1: shouldn't be here. Because my name is Josh. I just yeah, hey, Josh,
Speaker 1: it's so hard to remember, Josh. We're all missing a
Speaker 1: body parts. We all suffer because of it. You don't
Speaker 1: think I suffer? Ye, No, because you give a percent constantly.
Speaker 1: You can't ever turn off. I don't have the different
Speaker 1: parts of you that we all glory to get you.
Speaker 1: I'm standing, she shipped when she sees because she has
Speaker 1: no butt cheeks. I'm so embarrassed. You guys can't kick
Speaker 1: me out. No, Oh, that's where you're wrong. And then
Speaker 1: Carl showed her to the door and they've been married
Speaker 1: ever since. Seemed to comes from McCoy, who wrote, Oh God,
Speaker 1: the pressure. I was recently on vacation in and around
Speaker 1: in Seattle and learned about the politics that go into
Speaker 1: the captainship of the fairies that go in between the
Speaker 1: city and the nearby islands. Originally, the fairy captains were
Speaker 1: the most fabulously wealthy members of society, and the islands
Speaker 1: were built at their whims. I think it'd be hilarious
Speaker 1: to see what how feuding fairy captains go about talking no, no,
Speaker 1: taking out their rivalry on each other. You guys always
Speaker 1: make me laugh, and I look forward to many future
Speaker 1: ugly guffas at the gym. Cheers from Northern California. McCoy kent,
Speaker 1: Well move, you're in my dock now. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: make me move out of here, you sick fish. Oh
Speaker 1: I'm the sick fish. That's like the sick fish, the
Speaker 1: fastest feedboat on the Hudson. You're in my dock, lady, No,
Speaker 1: will you? You mean no? Make me move my ferry
Speaker 1: out of here. I can't make you move your ferry
Speaker 1: and ferry seven hundred feet long, it's just slow barge
Speaker 1: on the Hudson. I'm the fastest moving thing and I'm
Speaker 1: getting in this spot right. Get out of here. How
Speaker 1: many people can he carry on your ferry at one time?
Speaker 1: That's sixty? Were you laughing at you? Because I can
Speaker 1: carry sixty. Yeah, I'm laughing because that's a small number
Speaker 1: to me. You're a small number to me. What does
Speaker 1: that mean? How many can you fit? Five thou people?
Speaker 1: Holy sh it? Up to one hundred tons, one hundred tons,
Speaker 1: one hundred tons. It's just five thousand people. Respect I'm
Speaker 1: terribly sorry, man, I'll get out of your slip. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I want to take it. For five
Speaker 1: thousand people on the ferry. That seems so overcrowded. What look,
Speaker 1: how big my boat is. Seven. We have to get
Speaker 1: the children and that. But we can take another ferry.
Speaker 1: But that's the last farea of the day, and then
Speaker 1: the water is closed for the weekend. Water it's closed,
Speaker 1: and they got to do some con dittuction. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: we definitely gotta get on a ferry up all right, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll take a six six six tickets. We're
Speaker 1: not taking the neighbor kids. Why we're just taking our kids.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna take the neighbors kids. But they want
Speaker 1: to go to that. Yeah, we want to go to Okay,
Speaker 1: the parents should take them. We shouldn't take the kids. Really,
Speaker 1: seconds before we get on the boat, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: this discussion. I thought you were dropping them off here.
Speaker 1: How would I know that we were bringing them? You
Speaker 1: don't talk to him. Were in the car with us
Speaker 1: from the bride from We said we were excited. At
Speaker 1: what point dawn on you that we wouldn't bring them, Claire,
Speaker 1: I we were bringing them. I don't think we're gonna
Speaker 1: take them on the fairy ferry. Okay, Mark, hold on,
Speaker 1: look now, look, this is sixteen dollars a ticket. You understand,
Speaker 1: I do understand. I'm not going to pay that for
Speaker 1: like you're not gonna pay I'm not gonna pay that. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't. I hate to interrupt you, but if you
Speaker 1: have kids that are not your own, it's thirty bucks. Okay,
Speaker 1: not at all. Actually, all the all the kids are
Speaker 1: our kids. You'll have to excuse my husband. He's a
Speaker 1: pilot for American Oh, I understand, understood. I'm just so
Speaker 1: the water makes you a little uneasy anyway. Still, it's
Speaker 1: diuty bucks for the kids. And I can tell if
Speaker 1: they're not yours because they don't look anything like you do.
Speaker 1: Me favorite domentioned Sully. Sully the pilot makes you so
Speaker 1: good because he can go in the air and the water.
Speaker 1: How will let me tell you something? All right, there's
Speaker 1: water in the air. I've driven through storm clouds, I've
Speaker 1: driven through rain, and I call it driving. Why do
Speaker 1: you don't have to make this point to me? I
Speaker 1: just drive a ferry Bagdad will be a cheapass mark. Look,
Speaker 1: I'm here here. They're gonna close the water mark. I
Speaker 1: think I know what they're gonna do. Okay, Can I
Speaker 1: write a check? I'm so embarrassed for my husband? Can
Speaker 1: I write a check? Of course? We take check, oh
Speaker 1: cash from from an airmand to a water and I
Speaker 1: think we understand the game. Maybe there's some kind of
Speaker 1: deal we can work out. You're gonna negotiate with the
Speaker 1: How about I offer you a family deal for one
Speaker 1: of my flights? Okay, well for a Emily deal. Okay.
Speaker 1: Well it's me and I have two husbands. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: and then that's three people. It's great. I can do that.
Speaker 1: Ma'am you and the yeah you in the middle seat.
Speaker 1: Can I get you? You want to snack to go
Speaker 1: with your your drink? Oh? Yeah? Can I have all three? Uh? Sure? Thing?
Speaker 1: That's some biscolf cookies and a little bit of sheet cheese.
Speaker 1: It's and some mixing, right, and I'm just gonna eat you.
Speaker 1: You can't really put your seat back yet, we're not
Speaker 1: we haven't hit the high I can't put the seatback.
Speaker 1: I hate a deal um with the captain of a plane. Yes,
Speaker 1: but you and you and these gentlemen can't do anything
Speaker 1: my husbands. Can you not talk to my wife? LinkedIn?
Speaker 1: Don't talk to a wife. It's just that, it's just
Speaker 1: that when you made your deal, it didn't give you
Speaker 1: carte blanche to do. What can we put why you
Speaker 1: didn't give us the option If you're just gonna say,
Speaker 1: keep it straight up? So it's an inch one inch back.
Speaker 1: It's always been honest. If we get into an accident,
Speaker 1: is really gonna madden? Just back? It's an a regulation.
Speaker 1: And can you can you dry your laundry? Just hanging
Speaker 1: like that? You want me to have damp clothes when
Speaker 1: I arrive at my destination. But there are people in
Speaker 1: the other seats around here. Do you guys mind that
Speaker 1: I'm drying my clothes? No? Wait, we don't care. Looks
Speaker 1: like the passengers don't care because you're a bit threatening,
Speaker 1: you know what. I'm I'm terribly sorry. I'll just I'll
Speaker 1: get your three snacks and thank you. I'm just gonna go.
Speaker 1: What is her friend know? Anyway? Boys, what's new in
Speaker 1: your life? My hunky boys, I've never pen on an
Speaker 1: airplane before. We'll be ready for a nice flight today.
Speaker 1: It's uh, of course me solely soldan burger. Oh, we
Speaker 1: got to die water with this. We're going to take
Speaker 1: a little dip into the Hoodson today. Jokes. This is
Speaker 1: not a joke. I'm an air guy and a water guy,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to prove it to you. So out
Speaker 1: of all way. You know, we were just going in
Speaker 1: l a X to Sanfords. This he's gonna go all
Speaker 1: the way to the Hudson. We're gonna we're gonna start
Speaker 1: hitting out de Weast. We'll see a lot of the
Speaker 1: beautiful country today. We're gonna fly right over the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 1: They go into the Grand Canyon for about there's a
Speaker 1: lot of room down there, and we're gonna zoom up
Speaker 1: into Canada for a bit and try to hit all
Speaker 1: five great legs. Yeah, I just looked at the time
Speaker 1: it says it's forty six hours the fight about four
Speaker 1: six hour flight. But you know, we've got some clear
Speaker 1: skies might get you in a little early around forty five.
Speaker 1: This is Sully Sellenberger is signing out, great girls is exciting.
Speaker 1: Welcome to American Airlines. We want thank you for joining
Speaker 1: us on our flight. Please watch this video. Don't understand
Speaker 1: why fight acting like a TV. Everything we do on
Speaker 1: that flight, it's safety. It's the safety. Jocelyn Buckling, don't
Speaker 1: text me justly. We've been in the air. We have
Speaker 1: then you see, it's just please get I know, I
Speaker 1: know you're sad. I know you're sad. I know you're sad.
Speaker 1: I know you're sad. Trusting to put your head right here,
Speaker 1: put your head right here. You're gonna be okay. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be okay. Thet before you're here, they already know
Speaker 1: when she's done freaking out. How soon can we get
Speaker 1: up and use the shitter? You know what? Till the
Speaker 1: captain makes that. This is your captain, Sey Slinberg again,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to make an emergency landing to take
Speaker 1: care of a flight attendant in distress. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: You know if you see her, she's having a rough day.
Speaker 1: Let let her sing to you, Let her sing to you.
Speaker 1: She's she just likes to express yourself through songs. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna I'm gonna make a brief step in Laho.
Speaker 1: What's that, Sacramento, Tinkle Tinkle, captain of the Fairy Guard.
Speaker 1: We need you, We need your strength. Please please come
Speaker 1: out from hiding, Tinkle, come out, Tinkle waiting for you,
Speaker 1: Tinkle out. We need you, submits Tinkle Tinkle, captain of
Speaker 1: the Fairy Card. I know who I am. We need
Speaker 1: your arm, your blade, your wings, please, Tinkle. It's me Patricia, Hello,
Speaker 1: Patricia and my twin sister, Matricia. Yes, Patricia and Matricia. Yes, Tinkle,
Speaker 1: we need you. The fairies are in trouble. Oh but
Speaker 1: have the fairies paid homage to me? Of course, and
Speaker 1: we were just finishing up. We bring tear drops of
Speaker 1: a unicorn, hair of a crab, the hair crab and
Speaker 1: the tears of a unicorn. I feel my strength again. Yes,
Speaker 1: what did you need? We need to wage war war rage,
Speaker 1: rage wars. Yes, on the humans. Yeah, we want to.
Speaker 1: We want we want to kill them. We want them
Speaker 1: to die. Please Tinkle help us. We want to kill them,
Speaker 1: murder them all. Okay, so we're waging war on the humans. Also,
Speaker 1: we need to do what to the fairies? Oh, the
Speaker 1: fairies are good. They also just need our help with
Speaker 1: the captain of the fairy God. You have the armies
Speaker 1: of the fairies that you're disposed please tinkers. So you
Speaker 1: want me to disperse the fairy armies? Yes, takeshi in
Speaker 1: my office for a second. I really don't have time,
Speaker 1: but yes, yes, fine. Uh, We've just noticed on the
Speaker 1: charts there's a lot of questions if people come to
Speaker 1: you with requests and you just offer up questions, so
Speaker 1: we would prefer it if you had some answer. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go through a list of questions or request
Speaker 1: and then you see how many answers you can come up.
Speaker 1: I feel like I just had a performance review like
Speaker 1: six months ago. You did. It's every six months. It's
Speaker 1: every six months. That seems ridiculously alright, fine, fine for
Speaker 1: a question number one? Ready? Yes, um, turn humans into puppets.
Speaker 1: Who is making this request again? You've started with a question.
Speaker 1: What I'm looking for our solutions and ideas? Okay, Look,
Speaker 1: this isn't an improv class, alright, I'm allowed to ask questions.
Speaker 1: Sure if I'm if I'm confused by the order, I
Speaker 1: can clarify. Okay, it'd just be great if you could
Speaker 1: think on your feet when a request comes your way.
Speaker 1: I can't turn humans into puppets, but context is important.
Speaker 1: Another maple? Do drop? Tinkled martini? Who is somebody drink? You?
Speaker 1: Did you order for me? Okay? Good? Yes, I will
Speaker 1: take one there. Just thank you for answering my goddamn question. Tinkle,
Speaker 1: I'm here for you. Come on, you're at the ferry bar.
Speaker 1: It's not a tough week, I can see. Is that
Speaker 1: tinkle over there? He tinkle fairy guys. Yes, yes, that's me.
Speaker 1: That's me. While you look so down. Uh look I've
Speaker 1: had a tough week alright. Oh you're telling me it's
Speaker 1: tough for ferrymen everywhere out there. I had some big
Speaker 1: landing of five thousand person seven hundred foot to try
Speaker 1: to smush my speedboat out the way. We ferrymen need
Speaker 1: to stick together. Yeah, we do, ferryman. Once you get
Speaker 1: your shine backs, Oh look who it is? How about it?
Speaker 1: Look who it is? What's the matter? You'd be afraid
Speaker 1: to go under water and getting a submarine? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I want me to turn him into a puppet. Just
Speaker 1: how did you did you? I put that request in
Speaker 1: months ago. I know, I know, but there's a lot
Speaker 1: of you know, there's a lot the red tape serious boys,
Speaker 1: sub boys, you know, the sub boys. Yeah, now, it
Speaker 1: turned them all into puppics. Why would you do that
Speaker 1: to my crew because you ah, that song hasn't changed
Speaker 1: in years and it never goes into a bridge or
Speaker 1: of course it's right, it's just where the sub boys.
Speaker 1: You just been busting on balls in here for you.
Speaker 1: You guys come in with their fingers snapping. I was
Speaker 1: tired of it. Okay, I see. And how's your crew doing?
Speaker 1: My crew? Yeah, that's just me and just me and
Speaker 1: one other guy. Stinky. You still got stinky on the boat.
Speaker 1: I'm the fairy guy. Yeah, yeah, I'm the fairy guy. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you want Stinky there he is? Yeah, no kid, I'm
Speaker 1: the fairy guy. Yeah. He's been at the bit, he's
Speaker 1: been at the end of the bar for two days.
Speaker 1: Let's make sure you get across the river whatever body water. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the guy you want on your boat. And
Speaker 1: I have no crew, I say, all on a leaf
Speaker 1: powered by a whisper. Right, And how's therapy working out
Speaker 1: for you? Not good? Not good? Did you hear about
Speaker 1: the new reports. What we're being sent out. The fairy
Speaker 1: armies are emerging, the fairy army and the fairy army. Yes,
Speaker 1: the emerging emergining. Yes, we were emerging. Yes, they emerging,
Speaker 1: emerging like from the water, emerging from the or emerging
Speaker 1: like two businesses. Yes, emerging like the ants. Yeah, or
Speaker 1: emerchant like selling merch. Yes, it can't be. Yes to
Speaker 1: all those kis. We're starting our own conglomerate LLC with
Speaker 1: T shirts, hats as well as underway the equipment and
Speaker 1: were forming together to strike at the heart of man. Okay,
Speaker 1: well that sounds pretty good. The time of man is over.
Speaker 1: It's the time of the fairy people. But what will
Speaker 1: we do? Well, won't chat We do whatever we want.
Speaker 1: But we're much smaller than all of those structures. If
Speaker 1: we know it, and we won't foot Yeah, it would
Speaker 1: be everything would be too big, like the bed would
Speaker 1: be too big, or like a cup of coffee would
Speaker 1: be too big. But we have the Captain of the Pharisee.
Speaker 1: He can turn everything into public. Oh that guy's so
Speaker 1: dumb and he sucks. Careful if he can't hear me,
Speaker 1: if he's sleeping, and sleep thank you. He's never gonna
Speaker 1: hear me, and he wouldn't execute me anyway, and his
Speaker 1: daughter's best friend. I didn't say anything. Who dare and
Speaker 1: salt the king of the fairies? I'm tell him it
Speaker 1: was me? Who is sprinkles? And why what sprinkles? So
Speaker 1: we answer the first You know, I think I might
Speaker 1: actually get out of this, And how would you get
Speaker 1: out of it? Um? I don't know how would I
Speaker 1: and how the captain of the ferry doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: I'm the leader? Now? Sure? Yeah, alright, folks, we're gonna sorry.
Speaker 1: We've been in the air for a couple of days. Now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and let the flight attendants do
Speaker 1: another beverage service. And if you need to hang up
Speaker 1: any of your laundry, this will be the time to
Speaker 1: do that already dry. I just want to let you
Speaker 1: know that there's a war between the fairies and the
Speaker 1: humans on the ground right now. So we're just trying
Speaker 1: to make a couple of loops, figure out where we
Speaker 1: can land safely. Can I get you? Can I get
Speaker 1: you three? Anything else? I'd really like I'd really like
Speaker 1: to get into the pilot's cabin if I could Sully.
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan, you know, And I'll take another cheeseburger.
Speaker 1: All right, Well here's the cheeseburger. You just had that
Speaker 1: in your pokey. Well they're already warmed up, just warm
Speaker 1: and foil. It's been a couple of days. I you're
Speaker 1: giving ou cheeseburgers. Yeah, yeah, we've been giving out cheeseburger
Speaker 1: this whole flame. Yeah, I didn't want the cheeseburger is cold,
Speaker 1: all right, give it to me. I'll put it in
Speaker 1: my pocket. All right, anyway, come with me, sir, Thank
Speaker 1: you cheese. Did all three of them want to go? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I guess if you're offering, yeah, we'll go. I mean
Speaker 1: we might as well. Oh, there's a bouncer, Idee. He's
Speaker 1: my idea, and my idea. You never gonna believe my age.
Speaker 1: You're old as ship. All right, Okay, you can't come in.
Speaker 1: I'm the flight attendant. I'm sorry, I can't come in. Jeff,
Speaker 1: we've known each other for twenty years. What do you
Speaker 1: think I gonna do? Yeah? You don't want to talk
Speaker 1: outside of work. So are we gonna do this again?
Speaker 1: I guess? So, right in front of all these people
Speaker 1: that would potentially go Sellenberger. Hearing this on the other side,
Speaker 1: they're good to go in. You know what, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go sit. You know what I'm gonna do. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go sing to some passengers.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go sing yeah makes do an emergency land
Speaker 1: and have another like psychotic break with the last maybe
Speaker 1: ye yeah fun? Are you free to going? Thank thank you?
Speaker 1: So cool? Where's the pilot, ads Sole, Where the pilot?
Speaker 1: Where the pot Where is he? I don't think there
Speaker 1: is a pilot in here. It just seems like a
Speaker 1: dance club. Hello, come into my coast, for I'm the
Speaker 1: king of the fairies. Just wants to be the war
Speaker 1: that we hear. That's right, I've taken over this place.
Speaker 1: Sully retired, didn't you know that? No before, I am
Speaker 1: not Sully. I Tinkle. Tinkle kept him in the air
Speaker 1: for two more days, and they eventually landed in San Antonio, Texas.
Speaker 1: Tinkle is going to become an icon and oh please
Speaker 1: Tinkle t shirt from Daniel. Daniel here from San Antonio, Texas.
Speaker 1: I wonder if you Tinkles drive way too much from
Speaker 1: my day job, but it's all worth it because I
Speaker 1: get to listen to y'all's hilariousness that I mentioned. Y'all,
Speaker 1: thanks for doing what you do. Here's my idea, A
Speaker 1: washed up child star has one last go at fame
Speaker 1: in the form of a haunted House investigation reality show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, looking forward to laughing so hard I almost die. Also,
Speaker 1: my new favorite character are dark Web guy, the Italian
Speaker 1: family that thought they were Irish and quote the question guy.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you, Daniel. We take you now to
Speaker 1: the Haunted House Investigation reality show. Yeah, so the whole
Speaker 1: property self. I mean, as far as I know, he's
Speaker 1: been buried around some really you know, a cult going songs,
Speaker 1: there's a satanic ritschual's. There's you know, murders and whatnot
Speaker 1: happening here. And uh, could I just ask one question? Okay,
Speaker 1: when Tommy tom arrives. All right, he's the host of
Speaker 1: the show. So your question has nothing to do with
Speaker 1: the house, No it does, all right, could you show
Speaker 1: him which house actually is haunted this one? Yeah, showing
Speaker 1: you a house that's not Which room? Is there a room?
Speaker 1: The whole freaking thing he's haunted. Man. That's not trying
Speaker 1: to tell you, I know, but it would be good
Speaker 1: for the show. Remember, this is a television show. I
Speaker 1: understand that I brought you on your because I thought
Speaker 1: you could help exercise these things. I mean, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's really you thought we could get rid of the spirits.
Speaker 1: In a miscommunication. Okay, we're here so that Tommy tom
Speaker 1: can walk folks in the camera crew through the house
Speaker 1: and find haunted spirit. Boss, Boss wit you when we
Speaker 1: put the point me put the sound equipment, Steve. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm having a conversation. Do you not see that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know I see it. It's really thought it'd be
Speaker 1: okay if you interrupted, It's real. It's it's like six
Speaker 1: hundred pounds of gear on my shoulders right now, right,
Speaker 1: and so you were hired to do to carry it?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Yeah. So I mean this is the guy
Speaker 1: who is in that horse show. Yeah, okay, these are
Speaker 1: my Yeah, I mean we're kind that look. So he
Speaker 1: became a ministers that he can exercise this, or he's
Speaker 1: a television program host. This is a TV show. I
Speaker 1: understand what it is. I'm just saying that, are you
Speaker 1: because I thought you could help me cleanse the house? Okay, well,
Speaker 1: there's been a miscommunication. He Boss you want these fog machines, Steve, Yeah,
Speaker 1: same conversation, real heavy fog machines though, Yeah, I'd really
Speaker 1: like to put these those are thought you asked Larry
Speaker 1: to help you. Larry, Larry's on his break again. He's
Speaker 1: been on his break all morning. Union. Sorry, it's a
Speaker 1: union break. Cigarettes. Can a guy smoke as many as
Speaker 1: I can? And don't don't try to interrupt him. We're
Speaker 1: gonna strike. Thanks Larry, appreciate. Great to have you on
Speaker 1: the team. So if I could, Mr Stein, Uh, which,
Speaker 1: when Tom Tom comes shows up, please just bring him
Speaker 1: to the most. Didn't do that. I'll make sure that
Speaker 1: he sees it here. He is, Tommy, Tommy, great to
Speaker 1: have you. Yeah, what what are we doing? Are we rolling? Sorry?
Speaker 1: He's in a really bad mood today. Oh, you brought
Speaker 1: your agent. Let's go. I'm ready to go, he's ready
Speaker 1: to go. Let's do it. He's ready to do. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: we're about the half hour out, so then he'd send
Speaker 1: it over to the makeup. Why am I here? Why
Speaker 1: am I set? I'd actually like to talk to Tom
Speaker 1: Tom before. I mean, there's some actual legitimate things you
Speaker 1: should be aware of before. Who's this and why is
Speaker 1: he looking me in the Eye's the house. He's here
Speaker 1: to help facilitate our needs. So we kind of want
Speaker 1: to be a ghost. I'm not possible. No, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm okay, he says, he's not. Well, what it goes
Speaker 1: in a minute. That's a good point. Tommy's got a
Speaker 1: good point. What the funk? Look, I look, this place
Speaker 1: is legitimately haunted, all right. I don't I don't understand
Speaker 1: this whole Hollywood side of things. But people have died,
Speaker 1: people have had the skin ripped off, people had his
Speaker 1: eyes melted, and the teeth come out of the butt.
Speaker 1: I mean, this really six ship has happened here? Can
Speaker 1: get Tommy? Can you get off your phone? Can you?
Speaker 1: Can you just listen to me here? I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: getting tents of texts and also sorry he has to
Speaker 1: have his makeup done. Well, he's having this conversation with you.
Speaker 1: We just don't have we don't have time. Don't have
Speaker 1: the time. Hey boss, Yes, I just saw I think
Speaker 1: it's a ghost back here. He's got teeth coming out
Speaker 1: of his butt. Me teeth on the ground, Tommy, the
Speaker 1: ghost was just here? How am I losing people on
Speaker 1: my Insta. What Tommy, it's Tommy. I'm gonna buy some
Speaker 1: more for you because it just bots? Is it bots?
Speaker 1: It might be Okay, I buy you five thousand every week,
Speaker 1: and sometimes Instagram goes through and delete them. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go buy some more. Boys, if I could get
Speaker 1: a second at your time? What when the ghost shows up?
Speaker 1: In particular, we kind of need Tommy on point. Okay,
Speaker 1: So why are you talking to me because my his
Speaker 1: mommy seemed to be the only person he'll talk to. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's because he loves me. Okay, great, and we have
Speaker 1: a great working relationship. Let's let's see that happening when
Speaker 1: the ghost appeared. Hey, boss, the union wants to strike
Speaker 1: because of this ghost thing. Yeah, he's got some serious demands.
Speaker 1: You're the spokesperson now for the union. Well yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I was the spokesperson for the union before and
Speaker 1: then and then somebody else got the job. But but
Speaker 1: he's on a break right now. He's been on a
Speaker 1: break all morning. I'm not coming back from break until
Speaker 1: there's no ghosts out there? Fair enough? Also, can I
Speaker 1: put this sound gear in these fog machines down yet?
Speaker 1: I need about six more minutes. Okay, now, sir, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get Tommy out of makeup. Ok it's almost sundown.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be in the house. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: I cannot be here when something what happens, that's when
Speaker 1: the wolves come out? Wolves? Yeah, ghost wolves, demon ghost wolves. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there goes. So really can't do anything to you
Speaker 1: except run through your chest and rip your heart out
Speaker 1: your back. But yeah, if you want to say nothing,
Speaker 1: then yeah, I guess they don't know anything. Have you
Speaker 1: seen that? Actual? Yes, I have. Hey, bus, Larry's got
Speaker 1: some new wolf based demands. I aven't reading yet, but
Speaker 1: here they are. All right, let's see we got no
Speaker 1: just the ones with the yellow eyes. Is that possible?
Speaker 1: Well you oh, yeah, that's the leader. The leader has
Speaker 1: yellow eyes and they can separate as beans, so it
Speaker 1: makes it looks like there's hundreds of them. Why is
Speaker 1: this guy here again? Did you want I'll do a pick,
Speaker 1: but no autograph. Okay, I don't want to pick up
Speaker 1: and then to pick. Uh, make sure you tag my
Speaker 1: professional account, not my personal account. You could follow him too,
Speaker 1: that would be great. Please follow me follow up. You
Speaker 1: gotta know this tomb you're in grave danger there engraved danger.
Speaker 1: You have to understand, My god, do you have representation? Yes,
Speaker 1: I have a lawyer. You're very good acting. Oh really,
Speaker 1: I have to go. I have to go wear this amulet.
Speaker 1: It's the only thing that can pretend you. Oh god,
Speaker 1: this is so clunky, I know, but it looks good
Speaker 1: on you. Yes, it looks good on your clunky frame.
Speaker 1: Then by how are the effects that great? Right? But
Speaker 1: the voices coming out of the walls? Yeah? Yeah, can
Speaker 1: we just roll? We're rolling? Hey, guys, tell me time here,
Speaker 1: um mental haunted house or so they tell me there's
Speaker 1: demon ghost wolves who are going to rip through me.
Speaker 1: And let's open this door. And what's going on here?
Speaker 1: It's a guy with teeth coming out of his bike.
Speaker 1: Can brush my teeth through me? Please? These are my hooves? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's me. So just gotta gotta get that catchphrase out there.
Speaker 1: If we could just reroll on that. I want to
Speaker 1: get that clean because that is something that we're going
Speaker 1: to use for like promo. I feel like the ghost.
Speaker 1: We're still rolling, so I take your own cue. Okay,
Speaker 1: these are my hubs. That was really good. It was
Speaker 1: that was clean tom Tommy, Babe, I love you you
Speaker 1: know that. Okay, Now, look all right, the show is
Speaker 1: doing fantastic. The entire cast and crew died except for you.
Speaker 1: Love that. We gotta get more of that stuff. Okay,
Speaker 1: but people are harder. They want to see tomp tom
Speaker 1: These are my loves. I want to see back up there.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I feel like these ghosts can't kill me
Speaker 1: for whatever reason. I think it's an amulant baby, all right.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but it's glow's protecting me.
Speaker 1: It's glowing and it's hot. Looks like it's see it
Speaker 1: until your flesh right now, yeah, it is really well,
Speaker 1: that's a good look. Good look Tommy. Now look we
Speaker 1: want to put you on location in the ship. Right
Speaker 1: location where in the ship? Okay, I don't want to
Speaker 1: go in the ship. You have to, that's what them
Speaker 1: ghost be. I don't want to leave the l a area, Okay, alright, fine,
Speaker 1: Look we have in a cult setting going on, this
Speaker 1: tane ridtual going down at one of the old Hudson houses.
Speaker 1: All right, So once you just pop up over there,
Speaker 1: say you have part of the group, will give you
Speaker 1: all the paperwork to say that you legit. You get
Speaker 1: in there, you kind of blow the thing up. You
Speaker 1: save the version boom boom boom season through? What do
Speaker 1: you think? Okay, fine, yeah whatever. Okay, so we're all
Speaker 1: about to kill this virgin. Please shut the funk up. Please, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna kill you, Gloria. Ever since you took over
Speaker 1: this group. I'm just saying, ever since you took over
Speaker 1: this group? Here, okay, can we sit down? No? No chairs?
Speaker 1: If I see a chair, I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a big one that you'll find
Speaker 1: out and you're not gonna like. I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: a real big one if I see a chair, Okay,
Speaker 1: making it seeing we have a handkerchief. Hey, guys, what's
Speaker 1: going on? I'm also in this group. Okay, let's do
Speaker 1: let's kill this chick. Let's do it. Let's carver up. Okay,
Speaker 1: everyone get out your nie. Wait, there's a new guy.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't we do? I'm just gonna sit down over here?
Speaker 1: Is this? This is the new guy. He's a friend
Speaker 1: of my Mom's down. As long as doesn't have a chair,
Speaker 1: I don't care what he does. Do you the hooves guy?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? What Tom? Tom? Tom Tommy Tom, Tommy Tom.
Speaker 1: These are my hooves. Yes, I didn't know you liked
Speaker 1: satanic occult. Look, I'm not here to talk about my career.
Speaker 1: I'm here to sacrifice a virgin. Okay. I love the
Speaker 1: film crew. Huh, film crew. Look, we're just doing a thing.
Speaker 1: Arry's on a break, all right. Okay, Hey guys, save me.
Speaker 1: I don't want to die. I don't want to die
Speaker 1: the virgin, yes, of course. I mean, even without this
Speaker 1: ritual going on, if you just looked at all of us,
Speaker 1: you could tell she's the version. This is not good
Speaker 1: for sound. Can we start again with the virgin? Please
Speaker 1: me to speak up a little bit? Please help he
Speaker 1: much better? Thank you? Alright, I'm too young. Okay, everyone
Speaker 1: get out your knives and then account of I'm sorry
Speaker 1: you the producer director? Yeah great, I'm thinking I want
Speaker 1: to do something right now, just a little a piece
Speaker 1: for myself to give it all. You want to give
Speaker 1: it all? I mean, if I am trying to the
Speaker 1: best I can. I think that's the only mode I
Speaker 1: got is ten. You don't drive a forward, do you?
Speaker 1: That's my dream of car? Do you have on? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's the one. Huh. Gold Champagne, Champagne. This guy's mode
Speaker 1: is bugging men. Can we change his mode? Only one mode?
Speaker 1: That's my disability? Gloria, What can you change this guy's mode?
Speaker 1: I'll give you a big one. I'll give you a
Speaker 1: big one to change your mondop on me. I think
Speaker 1: it's just gonna Yes, I'm gonna take the biggest poop
Speaker 1: I've ever taken. It's gonna be on you and it
Speaker 1: will change your mode. I'm going to do it. I'm
Speaker 1: lifting up my white road and it melted his whole body.
Speaker 1: That's some powerful Is that good for you? Did that
Speaker 1: change the mode? I think we got it on camera, Tommy,
Speaker 1: You guys, I think some demonic spirits are literally here
Speaker 1: because my amulance is searing into my flesh right now.
Speaker 1: So why does your amulet's say Gloria backwards across it?
Speaker 1: Who tested Gloria? I was looking in a mirror, so
Speaker 1: it looked like you just said Gloria. Tommy, did you
Speaker 1: want to say anything at all to the virgin while
Speaker 1: we're on camera? Uh? Yeah, Look, I'm sorry that we
Speaker 1: have to sacrifice you, but it's the only way to
Speaker 1: pay homage to the two demons. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll give you an autograph and a pick. Can I
Speaker 1: ask one last request? Fine, I just I really want
Speaker 1: to have sex with somebody, anybody. Then you won't be
Speaker 1: a virgin, you know, Tommy, I'm sorry, baby, We're gonna
Speaker 1: have the can of the show. What. Yeah, it looks
Speaker 1: like people wanted you killing that virgin and all that.
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry I was told to do. I just
Speaker 1: did what I was told to do. Let me, tom
Speaker 1: I know how it goes, baby, but look, the people
Speaker 1: just didn't like if people weren't pe fucking ambulet off
Speaker 1: of me. Okay, I mean, baby, look at seat and
Speaker 1: do your flesh like part of me. Now it looks
Speaker 1: like it's aid he had to your bone struck. There's
Speaker 1: no way for me to rip it out with that
Speaker 1: actually homing you. I can't do that legally, but you
Speaker 1: know me. All right. Now, look, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: ask you to get off the fucking lot and not
Speaker 1: come back. We're not gonna validate your sucking parking. Alright,
Speaker 1: you're done. Oh you're not gonna validate my parking. No, Tommy,
Speaker 1: it's like fourteen dollars for a half hour. Well, you've
Speaker 1: been here for three hours. I'll figure that ship out.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Tommy, I don't know. How much is
Speaker 1: that you didn't go to school, Tommy. You gotta go.
Speaker 1: These are my hubs, Tommy, Tommy, these are my hub Tommy.
Speaker 1: You're making it a lot sadder than it has to be.
Speaker 1: A don't give me up the lot, Tommy, tom I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't believe the meaning you Tommy. Tom It's my
Speaker 1: seventeen con this year, and I just can't believe you're here.
Speaker 1: So how much of the photos with you? Uh? It's
Speaker 1: forty two was? Okay, that's an hour and a half.
Speaker 1: Can I tell my brother and I when we were
Speaker 1: seven and nine, we memorize the first three seasons of
Speaker 1: these are my hosts, and I could play back any
Speaker 1: of the scenes for you. If you pick a season
Speaker 1: in a episode by number, I could, Uh, I could
Speaker 1: recite it all right, um, season one, episode one, the
Speaker 1: pilot's pass d peep peep. That's in every episode, right,
Speaker 1: so it's always started? Okay, okay, shut up, deep deep up.
Speaker 1: This is my house. Ah man, where's the box set?
Speaker 1: Can I start over? No, there's a long line here.
Speaker 1: Excuse me? Are you Tommy tom Yeah killed my fucking daughter.
Speaker 1: What on television, you son of a bitch. I didn't
Speaker 1: kill anybody killed. I saw the episode, and I was surprised.
Speaker 1: Look I see the awful Okay, let's be precise, sir,
Speaker 1: I was part of a demonic ritual that some of
Speaker 1: the demon that killed your daughter. Please, Okay, I saw
Speaker 1: the episode. I know everybody is guilty in your own way,
Speaker 1: but but today it's got a gun. Got the guy's
Speaker 1: got a gun. I've got an amulet. Okay, so an amulet. Fine, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll give me that amulet. I'm not giving you the amulet.
Speaker 1: Give me that. Good luck trying to pry it off
Speaker 1: of my chest. Okay, I will. I will set this here. Okay,
Speaker 1: Now I've got the gun. Put the gun down, you
Speaker 1: side of a picture gun? Okay? Are you a virgin, sir? Me?
Speaker 1: I have a daughter? Not anymore? Alright? Alright, maybe I have,
Speaker 1: but it's besides the point. Give me back that gun.
Speaker 1: We're all waiting to take a photograph. These people have
Speaker 1: paid for a photograph and a autograph. Yeah, fourteen dollars
Speaker 1: for half an hour. I paid thirty because I'm not
Speaker 1: really your kid. Huh he not really your kid. What
Speaker 1: you do not understand about that? Try to keep up, sir, Listen,
Speaker 1: you killed my daughter. Give me my gun back please, No,
Speaker 1: I'm keeping your gun. I'm keeping your gun. These are
Speaker 1: my hooves. This is my comic con Okay, Tom, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: You can't sleep at the you can't sleep in the
Speaker 1: rec center for the I'm sorry. You're gonna have to leave.
Speaker 1: What I found a spot. The convention's over, You're you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to go. I'm gonna stay here. Tell me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this we have to shutter it. I'm gonna stay.
Speaker 1: Can you at least validate my parking. I can't do that.
Speaker 1: I'm just a security yard. I validate my parking. I
Speaker 1: have a gun. Tommy relaxed, all right, I'll kill you. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll validate it here. Okay, thank you, you're welcome. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Now kiss me? Oh my god, now let me sleep here.
Speaker 1: Sorry I walked. I forgot my keys. I'm sorry. I
Speaker 1: didn't see you didn't see me kissing Tom? Tom, No,
Speaker 1: I did see that, but I was trying to say
Speaker 1: I didn't to cover it up, right, I'm sorry. Um wow,
Speaker 1: good for you. Okay, I'm gonna go well, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: did you kiss me? I'm sorry? What's your problem? I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This is Tom Tom. Okay, I'm gonna the
Speaker 1: mood is sorial. What's going on here? I walked in
Speaker 1: on this map, have to go. I have a kidden. Hey,
Speaker 1: let's go at it. And that's a love fest for today.
Speaker 1: So good. Oh that's our show. Let's go around and
Speaker 1: thank everyone. Caroline Carter, thank you so much for joining
Speaker 1: us again. You are a frothy delight to go to
Speaker 1: my about that at some point? Yeah, tell us where
Speaker 1: folks can fire their shows? Are their places of their
Speaker 1: inter interwebs? Um, you know I do most of my
Speaker 1: shows on my Instagram in a way, and you can
Speaker 1: find that cotter poopter poop and c O T T
Speaker 1: E R P o O P. That's correct. Yeah, lovely
Speaker 1: Craig Kikowski at Kikowski on Twitter. Also at Craigslist peak
Speaker 1: cast for my podcast and at Orange Tucks Improv for shows. Well,
Speaker 1: can you tell us about the peak cast. It's called craigslist. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's uh, we're counting down my one favorite movies, me
Speaker 1: and my wife Carla. She has to watch them. She
Speaker 1: has one more refusal left, which she's going to reserve
Speaker 1: for number one. Yes, okay, yeah, she's already told me that.
Speaker 1: All right, let's looking forward to more episodes of that podcast, Mark. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me uh at Mark Gags on Twitter
Speaker 1: and Instagram. Uh. Last Wednesday of the month at Dynasty
Speaker 1: Typewriter with worked use improv h every week a new episode.
Speaker 1: If we got this with Mark and Hell and Blood
Speaker 1: and Treasure now on Amazon Prime and you go back
Speaker 1: to work on the seas we go to back to Montreal.
Speaker 1: Exciting and I think this episode just dropped. Great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're hello from Canada exactly. Dr James Heney. You can
Speaker 1: go to the Real James Heney dot com and see
Speaker 1: lots of James Heney content. Or if you want to
Speaker 1: be live person at the West Side Comedy Theater on
Speaker 1: the second and fourth Wednesday, so every month at nine pm,
Speaker 1: you can come see us. If the show didn't drop
Speaker 1: after our next live show, it will be in November.
Speaker 1: It's the first Sunday of every month. If you're in
Speaker 1: the Los Angeles area, specifically Santa Montica, combine and see
Speaker 1: a live version of the show Joey Greery. You'll be
Speaker 1: there at the next one, Okay, and between now and then,
Speaker 1: I'll be waiting. Okay, good, it's good. Good, it's good
Speaker 1: to know. Let's thank our engineer, please, Mr Doug Baine,
Speaker 1: our post signe design artist Raphael, and I heart radio media.
Speaker 1: We're losing him. I encourage all of you to write
Speaker 1: a review, tell everyone you've ever met, and write to
Speaker 1: us with your scene suggestion at your name here at
Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy
Speaker 1: this dot com. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Until next time,
Speaker 1: I love you so very much. And when up and
Speaker 1: by w