Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio, previously
Speaker 1: on Ridiculous History. No, no, no, I mean I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, Casey. I was gonna ask you to put
Speaker 1: in a clip from from the show that sounded Cliff angry.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show, Ridiculous Historian's uh part, pardon
Speaker 1: that terrible lost impression. But I love that show. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it absolutely is an appropriate reference
Speaker 1: because Loss had polar bears. North Pole had polar bears.
Speaker 1: The explorers from ancient Greece saw the polar bears and
Speaker 1: thought they were magical celestial arctros. I think that was
Speaker 1: an absolutely appropriate lead in bend to our part two
Speaker 1: of the Arctic. The North Pole, the magical land at
Speaker 1: the top of the world where all of of the
Speaker 1: world's dreams go to meander and mingle in that gorgeous
Speaker 1: light show we call the Aurora borealis. So that has
Speaker 1: been Dreams, Dreams, streams in the sky and your Noel,
Speaker 1: and that's our super producer, Casey pegram Well, through the
Speaker 1: magic of podcast editing, we're we're back here again, my friend,
Speaker 1: and we owe our fellow listeners more to the story
Speaker 1: of mercater. That's what we promised. We're going to deliver. Um.
Speaker 1: We'd like to thank all the rabid mercat rights who
Speaker 1: wrote to us with various cartography related threats if we
Speaker 1: did not give this inventor and cartographer his do. Some
Speaker 1: of the things we mentioned m were, you know, the
Speaker 1: formations that he used to determine the pool. But he
Speaker 1: also styled on the map a little bit based on
Speaker 1: the stories he heard from explorers who had actually been
Speaker 1: Believe it or not, the map used to have what
Speaker 1: was it a whirlpool? Yes, it's true. Um. He draws
Speaker 1: the Arctic uh, separated into four quadrants that are separated
Speaker 1: by channels of flowing water UM, which meet up in
Speaker 1: in the middle in this giant kind of like mythological whirlpool. UH.
Speaker 1: He got the idea from a couple of explorers from
Speaker 1: the sixteenth century, Martin Frobisher and James Davis, who had
Speaker 1: made it as far as northern Canada. UM didn't quite
Speaker 1: make it all the way, but they both talked about
Speaker 1: their being really gnarly currents and they were able to
Speaker 1: observe these currents by the way that these massive icebergs
Speaker 1: were just being you know, basically like pulled by the
Speaker 1: currents as though they were you know, wade nothing and
Speaker 1: they were massive, and he went on to describe it
Speaker 1: as such. He said, without cease, it is carried northward.
Speaker 1: They're being absorbed into the bowels of the earth. Uh.
Speaker 1: And that's how Marcader described it um from his accounts
Speaker 1: of of these other sixteenth century explorers accounts, So he
Speaker 1: was kind of using like third hand information. They had
Speaker 1: never really even seen this thing, so he was doing
Speaker 1: the best of what he can, once again styling as
Speaker 1: you would say, Ben. And there's even a region on
Speaker 1: this map that Marcader uh labeled as having been home
Speaker 1: to a I guess people um a an indigenous people
Speaker 1: of made up of pygmies UM who he described as
Speaker 1: being four feet in length. And this is likely also
Speaker 1: a reference to that kind of magically thinking Uh. You
Speaker 1: know travelogue that we we talked about in the first episode,
Speaker 1: the Inventio Fortunata um and that discribed some small of
Speaker 1: stature individuals living in the polar regions um. And it
Speaker 1: could have been we know about pygmies that lived in
Speaker 1: Lapland Uh. So it could have been that he misunderstood Um.
Speaker 1: Something was lost in translation, and that was actually what
Speaker 1: the anonymous author of that piece was referring to, but
Speaker 1: it's hard to know. But then there's another chunk next
Speaker 1: to it that he described as being the best and
Speaker 1: most salubrious of all the chunks. Whatever that means salubrious?
Speaker 1: I mean, like, doesn't that mean drunk? What does salubrious mean? No,
Speaker 1: it's salubrious. I don't think it means drunk. Salubrious I
Speaker 1: always thought meant uh like a good place. It just
Speaker 1: like you're right, it just means good healthy uh and
Speaker 1: uh and and and health giving even not drunk. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I I guess I'm confusing it with salacious,
Speaker 1: which also doesn't mean drunk. I'm maybe the one who
Speaker 1: is drunk, you guys. It is, after all, four or
Speaker 1: forty five on a Friday, So give me a break
Speaker 1: and judge me. I like the idea of the of
Speaker 1: describing something as a compliment and saying it's the best
Speaker 1: and most salubrious of all chunks. I think I've ever
Speaker 1: to refer to a lot of stuff that way, probably
Speaker 1: inappropriately in the coming days. Um. But but you're right,
Speaker 1: this is portrayed as a mythical land because Mricator was
Speaker 1: taking the stories and accounts from just the people he
Speaker 1: could find to the people he could meet. And that's
Speaker 1: why the first known map of the Arctic the septemporary
Speaker 1: anali Um terre Um, which is it's you know, it's
Speaker 1: official name. That's why it looks so weird. There's a
Speaker 1: great article on Atlas Obscura it talks about this, and
Speaker 1: you can see that first map or sorry, you can
Speaker 1: see the second draft of it that was released in
Speaker 1: sixteen o six, and it's just like you described. There's
Speaker 1: a whirlpool in the very middle. Uh, there are these
Speaker 1: four channels with some tributaries. There's a big rock. Um.
Speaker 1: This is the thing though, So mercater who was by
Speaker 1: the way he was. He was born in March of
Speaker 1: fift twelve. Mercader passed away in fifteen ninety four after
Speaker 1: a life well lived, but his ambition, right his his
Speaker 1: work to map and define the world, didn't die with him.
Speaker 1: Other explorers kept learning more about the Arctic, and over
Speaker 1: time map makers started to revise their view of both
Speaker 1: the North and the South Pole. There were maps that
Speaker 1: were updated in sixteen thirty six that no longer had
Speaker 1: those four um those four chunks salubrious or no, And
Speaker 1: they also did away with the central whirlpool. Instead, for
Speaker 1: the first time, they showed what looked to be like
Speaker 1: a large mass of uninterrupted land, kind of surrounded or
Speaker 1: peppered with smaller islands off the coast. And then also
Speaker 1: this map pointed out possible routes that ships could take
Speaker 1: that were ships had taken, that would allow people passage
Speaker 1: around this area. And it's weird because, like to six
Speaker 1: thirty six, that's not that much time, you know, when
Speaker 1: we consider the lack of communication tools that were available
Speaker 1: to people in this era, it's amazing that they made
Speaker 1: so much progress so very quickly. But you know, tail
Speaker 1: as old as time. This scientific progress did not do
Speaker 1: very much to dispel the myths that people had the
Speaker 1: what what is sometimes called I think so I think
Speaker 1: an article in the Week called it polar fever. Did
Speaker 1: you hear about that polar fever? Yeah? No, I did
Speaker 1: hear about that. And it all ties back to that
Speaker 1: fascination of this this crazy inaccessible place, because let's not
Speaker 1: forget until relatively recently in history, I mean, you just
Speaker 1: couldn't get there. Even even our our guy Mercater had
Speaker 1: to kind of use his imagination and depend on folks
Speaker 1: who had been much closer than he ever was able
Speaker 1: to get. But yeah, the idea of polar fever really
Speaker 1: took hold in the nineteenth century. Um we had governments
Speaker 1: offering prizes for explorers who made it as far north
Speaker 1: as possible. And that's not a change from really what
Speaker 1: we saw with monarchies UM trying to use it to
Speaker 1: chart roots to the different oceans for trade. But also
Speaker 1: it was probably a little bit of a flex as
Speaker 1: to like, you know, who, who's gonna get to put
Speaker 1: their flag down in this weird, inhospitable, yet potentially magical
Speaker 1: part of the globe. Um. So we also started to
Speaker 1: see becoming a national point of pride for explorers to
Speaker 1: get to the top of the world and saying, hey,
Speaker 1: we did it, we did it first. And that is
Speaker 1: when polar fever truly kicked into high gear. Um. There
Speaker 1: was this obsession with people watching and seeing who would
Speaker 1: be the first to get there, to get as close
Speaker 1: to the North Pole by ship or foot or hot
Speaker 1: air balloon or you know, sled or something. Also, Michael
Speaker 1: Bravo notes, uh that part of this was sort of
Speaker 1: a religious piece this idea that the North Pole was
Speaker 1: somehow connected with what was referred to as as its
Speaker 1: celestial sister of heaven. From the very start, we talked
Speaker 1: about the idea of it being sort of a connection
Speaker 1: or a gateway between worlds. And in the nineteenth and
Speaker 1: twentieth century, eighteen, the nineteent centuries, rather it just became
Speaker 1: more a little bit more kind of an evangelical version
Speaker 1: of that idea as opposed to a mythological or our
Speaker 1: pagan version of that idea. UM. So you really started
Speaker 1: to see that angle taking hold. Boston University's first president,
Speaker 1: William Warren Um, who was a professor himself of comparative religion,
Speaker 1: started to collect all of this anthropological field data and
Speaker 1: research and UH linguistics and archaeological finds UM and adding
Speaker 1: in his own research which he had done into religious
Speaker 1: thinking in Iran and China and Japan and other ancient civilizations,
Speaker 1: and he concluded that there was um what he referred
Speaker 1: to as an Andaluvian continent in the north with an
Speaker 1: unusually tall mountain UH centered at the North Pole UM.
Speaker 1: And he decided that this was where paradise was heaven
Speaker 1: on earth, the very cradle of human civilization. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: more so than the idea of the cradle of civilization
Speaker 1: being in in the Middle East. So antideluvian is just
Speaker 1: a fancy way of saying like the time before the
Speaker 1: Biblical flood often confused by the way with pre lapse area,
Speaker 1: which is the time before the humanities fall from grace, uh,
Speaker 1: in the garden of Eden, in that religious system, and
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's maybe a little over generous.
Speaker 1: Describe his opinion as a conclusion, you know, his his research,
Speaker 1: if we call it that. Clearly he was a learned person.
Speaker 1: But as I've established in previous episodes, we have to
Speaker 1: remember that at the time, religion and science were seen
Speaker 1: as two pieces of a larger thing. They were not
Speaker 1: in conflict the way that they so often seem in
Speaker 1: these our modern days. So in Paradise Found Warren starts
Speaker 1: spinning this, this narrative. He says, you know, first this continent,
Speaker 1: which existed before the Biblical flood, got flooded, and then
Speaker 1: it was covered by an ice sheet due to a
Speaker 1: shift in Earth's polar axis, and then things getting really cold.
Speaker 1: The refugees from these disasters, he says, the survivors fled South,
Speaker 1: and they established the basis of all civilization today. This
Speaker 1: is also I have to note, it's very wrapped up
Speaker 1: in um a pro ayan kind of ideal which was
Speaker 1: unfortunately common at the time. Paradise found was written in
Speaker 1: this is. This is something you see in other other
Speaker 1: like fringe research now the idea of this pre existing
Speaker 1: civilizations hyperborean or too l a type of thing um
Speaker 1: which I'm sure it's familiar to people nowadays. Of course, Uh,
Speaker 1: people would rightly criticize Warren because he was very much
Speaker 1: defending creationism against the newer kid on the block at
Speaker 1: the time, evolutionary theory. Yeah, that's true, and um, these
Speaker 1: notions today would probably be looked down upon a bit
Speaker 1: because of that very reason. Uh, but especially because of
Speaker 1: some of the racial theory that he's used to explain
Speaker 1: some of these historical migrations. Um. It was something that
Speaker 1: was controversially at the time and now definitely has not
Speaker 1: aged well. Michael Bravo refers to how the variations of
Speaker 1: the idea of the North Pole being paradise on Earth
Speaker 1: actually found its way into a lot of other um
Speaker 1: let's call them ethno nationalist views and other countries, including
Speaker 1: the strands of Hinduism. They considered that Mount Meru existed
Speaker 1: at the North Pole and had a huge part in
Speaker 1: some of the mythological kind of themes in their views. Um.
Speaker 1: And also you had, uh, surprise, surprise, They're always there,
Speaker 1: the Nazis. Uh. Whenever there's some weird kind of like
Speaker 1: Nordic myths to be unpacked or to be used to
Speaker 1: support some kind of terrible ideology, the Nazis are always there.
Speaker 1: Adolf Hitler had a very close relationship with a man
Speaker 1: named Rudolph hess Um who used the North Pole um
Speaker 1: as part of kind of an aryan mystic um set
Speaker 1: of beliefs. And that was all wrapped up in their
Speaker 1: tool a. Uh. And I think it's too ghasal shaft movements,
Speaker 1: private society um. That included uh, lots of the sort
Speaker 1: of precursors for Nazi thinking and how that evolved. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say those those jokers were less precursors and
Speaker 1: more like I don't know. So the Nazi Party was
Speaker 1: trying to create elements of the Nazi Party. We're trying
Speaker 1: to create an alternative religion that they could control based
Speaker 1: on um, some bastardized ideas. They pulled from a number
Speaker 1: of sources. That's where you'll also hear things like real
Speaker 1: energy v R I l UH, the idea that there
Speaker 1: might be some secret UH superhuman race living under the
Speaker 1: surface of the earth. They were just like, have you
Speaker 1: ever been in a writer's room or brainstorming session where
Speaker 1: things are just going crazy like this? These theories make
Speaker 1: me um are one of the things that convinced me.
Speaker 1: A lot of those guys were on drugs at the time.
Speaker 1: I don't know how else it would sound like something
Speaker 1: you could say reasonably. But one of their big things,
Speaker 1: and in the Nazi Party and National Socialism, was that
Speaker 1: they wanted to replace where geography was traditionally oriented, and
Speaker 1: traditional geography, especially for like origin story of humanity was
Speaker 1: even at this time trace to the Middle East, right,
Speaker 1: and that is, you know, that is the cradle of
Speaker 1: powerful religions like as m Christianity and so on. So they,
Speaker 1: being you know, anti Semites, wanted to remove UH Judaism
Speaker 1: and Israel as much as much as possible from the
Speaker 1: narrative of humanity and then say, hey, instead, let's look
Speaker 1: at the UH. Let's look at where the real UH
Speaker 1: story of humanity starts, which is, for some reason at
Speaker 1: one of the most inhospitable places on the planet. So
Speaker 1: the logic, it's charitable to call it a stretch. But
Speaker 1: that's not even the most ridiculous myth, because again, people
Speaker 1: were people were desperate to learn more about this place,
Speaker 1: because we are creatures built to explore, right, we are curious.
Speaker 1: But it was tremendously difficult and tremendously freaking dangerous to
Speaker 1: get out there, so people just kind of had to
Speaker 1: believe what they heard from people who said they went there.
Speaker 1: One ridiculous myth was, uh, there's a guy named John B.
Speaker 1: Sheldon in eighteen sixty nine. We're jumping around in time
Speaker 1: here a little bit, but uh. In eighteen sixty nine
Speaker 1: he was responsible for uh, an illustration called the Discovery
Speaker 1: of the North Pole and the Polar Gulf surrounding it.
Speaker 1: His version of the North Pole has an iron cone
Speaker 1: one mile high and it is surrounded by a perfectly
Speaker 1: circular ring of ice, and people believed it it looks
Speaker 1: like a witch hat like in the middle of the ocean, essentially,
Speaker 1: like the brim is the circle of water, and the
Speaker 1: ice is like taking is like a bordering at all.
Speaker 1: And then in the center is this giant kind of
Speaker 1: witch hat cone that's pure black. Uh. It's it's a
Speaker 1: real hoot. And there's a really great graphic um that
Speaker 1: we found in the research uh that has this image
Speaker 1: of it and it's his discovery of the North Pole
Speaker 1: and the Polar Gulf surrounding it and John B. Sheldon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there's there. There's so many examples of this too.
Speaker 1: It looks like, Oh, I'm just saying this so I
Speaker 1: can have an excuse to finally use this word. You're
Speaker 1: right on, spot on with the witch hat. I would
Speaker 1: say it also looks like a hen in which is
Speaker 1: the name for the pointy hats the princesses where in
Speaker 1: fairy tales, that's it ever waiting like all all you're
Speaker 1: to say that a hen and you say, so that's
Speaker 1: the thing that you buy like a renaissance fair that
Speaker 1: has like a you know, sort of like some what
Speaker 1: do you call that stuff a gold like crinoline or
Speaker 1: whatever around it and maybe some kind of ribbon hanging down. Interesting. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've learned a new word today. Earth is a princess
Speaker 1: and that's its hat. Yeah. And that story that I
Speaker 1: was talking about, um from the Millville Daily Republican published
Speaker 1: in October had some pretty fantastic details are about this hoax,
Speaker 1: but again they're reporting it as fact, and it refers
Speaker 1: to the discovery of of this witch hat situation as such,
Speaker 1: a large arc riding at anchor, her crew starving, and
Speaker 1: nothing but a drowned horse left for them to eat.
Speaker 1: The pole is a tow paz a diamond. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I'm getting southern now. The water around the
Speaker 1: pole never freezes. Yeah, this is This is a fantastic
Speaker 1: specific example of both UH sensationalism in UH in the
Speaker 1: news and UH an example of how easily people can
Speaker 1: make these preposterous claims. The alleged discoverer that we mentioned,
Speaker 1: John B. Sheldon of Millville, New Jersey, says or is
Speaker 1: purported to say, under that picture that you described their nal,
Speaker 1: I made this discovery on the night of the twenty
Speaker 1: five October eighteen sixty nine. The poll is ten degrees high,
Speaker 1: ten degrees wide, and round the outer wall is ice.
Speaker 1: The center of the gulf is ninety degrees north entered
Speaker 1: according to an Act of Congress in the year eighteen seventy.
Speaker 1: So you can see like a lot of it's a
Speaker 1: tendency for a lot of this kind of reporting to
Speaker 1: try to sound authoritative by putting in numbers right, and
Speaker 1: putting in claims with uh, you know, congressional approval and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Uh. The Millville Daily Republican that we're
Speaker 1: talking about, you know, they kind of ran this as
Speaker 1: a a slow newsday piece, I think, because you can
Speaker 1: tell the journalists doesn't necessarily believe this. Uh, they do
Speaker 1: say that, according to historians, the North Pole was actually
Speaker 1: discovered on April eight nine by Admiral Robert E. Perry.
Speaker 1: But they're giving space to, uh, this wacky story of
Speaker 1: the Millville explorer who found Earth's hat. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I'm so delighted by that, the idea that Earth
Speaker 1: has a hat. Yeah, no, it's it's it's lovely. It's
Speaker 1: a lovely notion. Earth deserves a hat. He then, because
Speaker 1: Earth is a pretty pretty princess and we need to
Speaker 1: take care of her and crown her in hats and
Speaker 1: shower her with gifts and and fine linens and and
Speaker 1: mattresses upon mattresses, and go go squeezes. So but I've
Speaker 1: got a question for you know, you got it, man,
Speaker 1: I hopefully have an answer. So we mentioned I mentioned
Speaker 1: that the Millville Daily Republican says that one Admiral Roberty
Speaker 1: Perry discovered the North Pole. But who did discover the
Speaker 1: North Pole? How sure are we there? Yeah? On September seven, nine,
Speaker 1: The New York Times published an article front page headline
Speaker 1: claiming that Perry discovers the North Pole after eight trials
Speaker 1: in twenty three years. UM. And it truly was, as
Speaker 1: we've talked about over the course of two episodes, this
Speaker 1: untouchable kind of you know, mythical place. And we talked
Speaker 1: about two when polar fever kicked in. Polar fever seems
Speaker 1: sort of like a jumbo shrimp, doesn't it? Just putting
Speaker 1: that out there like an oxymoron? Um? Irrelevant? Moving on,
Speaker 1: These prizes were in place, and lots of different sports
Speaker 1: from all over the world had sought them, and so
Speaker 1: this was a big deal. People were freaking out, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's finally been done. No more brass hat to strive for? Um?
Speaker 1: Was it meant to be brass? Iron? I guess is
Speaker 1: what they said it was. Uh So, this gentleman in
Speaker 1: question the period question was Robert E. Peary UM. And
Speaker 1: he had apparently sent word that he had in fact
Speaker 1: reached the North Pole in April of nineteen o nine,
Speaker 1: a little more than a hundred years ago. And the
Speaker 1: report was an absolute stunner. But there was another report,
Speaker 1: wasn't there. Ben. It's sort of like when two different
Speaker 1: network report different returns from the polls can cause a
Speaker 1: real hubbub. Yeah, and they were. Both of these reports
Speaker 1: were coming from the Big Apples. You mentioned the New
Speaker 1: York Times report. Turns out that a week before that
Speaker 1: New York Times story runs in September, the New York
Speaker 1: Herald printed a headline of its own. I don't know
Speaker 1: why it sounds so arched there, but they said, the
Speaker 1: North Pole is discovered by Dr Frederick A. Cook. Cook
Speaker 1: was also an explorer, and it appeared that he had
Speaker 1: People thought he had he had died. People thought Cook
Speaker 1: was dead. Uh, he was gone for more than a year.
Speaker 1: He came back and he said that he had reached
Speaker 1: the North Pole in April nineteen o eight, which would
Speaker 1: put him a full year before Admiral Perry. And the
Speaker 1: people reading these papers had some, you know, they had
Speaker 1: some pretty valid questions. First off, the North Pole could
Speaker 1: only really be discovered once right, So we needed to
Speaker 1: figure out who got the prize for the history books,
Speaker 1: and Perry was always for a long long time, Perry
Speaker 1: was thought to be the legit discoverer of the poll.
Speaker 1: But the National Geographic Society, who sponsored a ton of
Speaker 1: his expeditions, re examined his records and they said that
Speaker 1: Perry's evidence didn't seem to prove his claim. And furthermore,
Speaker 1: they said that maybe he knew he had fallen short.
Speaker 1: Sort of like that that story we did earlier. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: boat guy. I like how we both call him boat guy.
Speaker 1: That makes it totally clear we're talking about. So after
Speaker 1: Cook got back to the US in nineteen eleven, Congress
Speaker 1: UM really tried to you know, launch a serious investigation
Speaker 1: of this ine and nineteen fifteen, UM they wanted to
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of who discovered the North Pole
Speaker 1: because it's such a point of national pride, um and
Speaker 1: also a national prize. You know, there was cash at
Speaker 1: stake there. Um. But eventually, you know, something uh sort
Speaker 1: of overshadowed at by quite a lot in the form
Speaker 1: of World War One. They had bigger fish to fry, uh,
Speaker 1: And so they kind of moved on and supposedly both
Speaker 1: Perry and Cook left notes at the North Pole, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, and now like sort of like Perry was here,
Speaker 1: Cook you know was here, um and those were never found.
Speaker 1: And so honestly both of those are in some ways
Speaker 1: kind of called into question. Uh. And we we have definitive,
Speaker 1: obviously proof a little later in history, in nineteen sixty eight,
Speaker 1: with the first undisputed, entirely legit confirmable overland voyage to
Speaker 1: the North Pole UM. In ninety eight, a Minnesota man
Speaker 1: named Ralph place did Um took a snowmobile to the
Speaker 1: North Pole UM. And you know, he wasn't the first exactly.
Speaker 1: There were other explorers that went before, not by land
Speaker 1: though by air and by um. And also many of
Speaker 1: them were able to confirm some of Cook's descriptions in
Speaker 1: his notes of the polar ice uh and some of
Speaker 1: the islands and the drift of the way that the
Speaker 1: glacier has drifted. So it does kind of make you
Speaker 1: wonder how did Cook get it right if he never
Speaker 1: actually got to the North Pole in nine are people
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, been maybe I missed this, And then there
Speaker 1: are people saying that he was lying or it was
Speaker 1: just a difference of who got there first, So they
Speaker 1: say that Peery may have at the very least embellish disclaims,
Speaker 1: if not outright lied or been mistaken. But the issue
Speaker 1: with Cook is there's not conclusive proof that he made it,
Speaker 1: but there's pretty strong circumstantial evidence because other people were
Speaker 1: able to go back later and a lot of what
Speaker 1: he said in his descriptions added up. So there's there's
Speaker 1: kind of a possible conspiracy of foot Dare I say
Speaker 1: and now again, you know, if you have the if
Speaker 1: you have the pony bones and the somoleans for it,
Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate, you can probably get passage
Speaker 1: on the fifty Let po buddy. Um, I just like
Speaker 1: saying the name. It sounds like I'm the only one
Speaker 1: of the three of us who was a percent on
Speaker 1: board with going to the North Pole. But you know,
Speaker 1: think of it maybe like a cool cruise. How can
Speaker 1: I how can I pitch you on this, guys? How
Speaker 1: can I get you to Yes? You know, we won't
Speaker 1: be the first people at the pole, but will be
Speaker 1: three new members of a very rare demographic a k a.
Speaker 1: People who made it there at all. Come on, think
Speaker 1: of the Instagram I'll do it for the Graham Bend,
Speaker 1: then I'll do it for you. I don't do it
Speaker 1: for this show. As long as super producer Casey Pegram
Speaker 1: comes on board with us and protects us from polar bears,
Speaker 1: I'm into it, and I'll be on polar bear duty.
Speaker 1: No problem, Okay, I can get down with it. Then
Speaker 1: let's make it happen. Guys. This has been an epic
Speaker 1: two partner and I feel as though as I know
Speaker 1: a little bit more about my place in the Uni
Speaker 1: verse um thanks to the work of of those what
Speaker 1: came before us and and risk life and limb and
Speaker 1: and uh and uh and frostbite in order to discover
Speaker 1: a place that probably people shouldn't really be hanging out in.
Speaker 1: But you know it's for for for God and country
Speaker 1: for science. Maybe I don't know. Yeah, yeah, for all
Speaker 1: the good stuff, right, all the good the good stuff
Speaker 1: about the human species. It also reminds me of the Terror.
Speaker 1: Have you guys heard of that TV show The Terror
Speaker 1: came out? Has It has a story about polar explorers,
Speaker 1: the HMS Arabis and the HMS Terror. No, I haven't,
Speaker 1: but I like the name. Well check it out if
Speaker 1: you get a Chance. Thanks as always to our super
Speaker 1: producer Casey Pegram. Thanks to Alice Oh whoa, no, hey, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: there's another call coming in. No, no, no, no, no
Speaker 1: zoom bombing. It's time, gentleman. It was only a matter
Speaker 1: of time before you found us and zoom bombed us.
Speaker 1: So here we are. I gotta tell you, you, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: it's so hard to type in all those U r
Speaker 1: l s. Guys, I have bombed so many zoom meetings
Speaker 1: looking for us. Hates me. Oh, Jonathan Strickland's a k a.
Speaker 1: The quister. You're up to your old tricks again. I
Speaker 1: see Uh is that a spoon? Are you? Are you
Speaker 1: proper spooned us? I'll be I'll be disemboweling you with
Speaker 1: this momentarily through the internet. Well, I love this idea
Speaker 1: of you collecting other arch nemessies during the time leading
Speaker 1: up to you finally finding ore you are. How did
Speaker 1: you find us? By the way, just it was just sheerly,
Speaker 1: just random chance. I started. I started just you know,
Speaker 1: typing in U r els for zoom meetings, and after
Speaker 1: a while I had a random numb bird generator, made
Speaker 1: a lot of friends. You know, it's it's almost like
Speaker 1: I'm starting up Omegael but for Zoom. But yeah, it
Speaker 1: turns out that a few people don't appreciate that. I
Speaker 1: don't get it myself anyway. Now I'm here, don't reek
Speaker 1: having upon your podcast once again. You know, I've got
Speaker 1: to say, Jonathan Strickland, a k. The quis ter um
Speaker 1: I I am. I'm experiencing so many emotions right now.
Speaker 1: How are you doing? Uh? You know, before we get
Speaker 1: down to the business of being nemesses, it's been a while.
Speaker 1: You want to catch us up real quick, a little
Speaker 1: been Thanks for asking. I'm doing well, keeping fit, eating right, occasionally,
Speaker 1: take my dog for nice long walks. I do not
Speaker 1: see other people that much. So that's that's new, you know,
Speaker 1: being an extrovert who get this energy by interacting with
Speaker 1: other people. And they're the wells running a little dry.
Speaker 1: And I don't mind telling you it's so this is
Speaker 1: a pleasure. But but but I shall, I shall see
Speaker 1: you ground beneath the heel of my boot. But how
Speaker 1: are you doing? Good? Good? Uh? Yeah, I mean we've
Speaker 1: been we've been keeping on. We've actually been doing uh,
Speaker 1: you know. I I think the three of us and
Speaker 1: uh and our fellow listeners have been having as as
Speaker 1: good a time as can be as always were astonished, uh,
Speaker 1: to learn new things and to learn what we didn't
Speaker 1: know about stuff we thought we knew. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Would you say that's pretty accurate? And well, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. And you know I have mixed emotions here too.
Speaker 1: On the one hand, curse you. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: it's kind of good to see you, buddy. I I'm
Speaker 1: not ashamed to say that I did miss you a
Speaker 1: little bit. And uh, you know I don't like the
Speaker 1: idea of you being lonely. So let's keep this going.
Speaker 1: I believe we are even. We're on an even playing
Speaker 1: field because you started with a new set of dastardly
Speaker 1: rules to combat our our rock paper scissoring of of
Speaker 1: these scenarios. Um, and you're gonna have to remind us
Speaker 1: a little bit about how this works. I think we're
Speaker 1: probably going to be a little rusty. Yes, yes, Now,
Speaker 1: people who are new to this, you may not realize
Speaker 1: we have now officially into the most cringe worthy segment
Speaker 1: and all of podcasting. And what I used to do
Speaker 1: was present a scenario to our two beloved hosts, and
Speaker 1: they would have to determine whether I had found that
Speaker 1: as an actual historical record or I had made it
Speaker 1: up seas. But then they were using their rock paper scissoring,
Speaker 1: as Noel said, to determine which one was correct. And
Speaker 1: I don't like that. So now I present you three scenarios,
Speaker 1: two of which are true, one of which is false.
Speaker 1: It is your job to determine which is the false one,
Speaker 1: And as always I will arrange them in order chronological,
Speaker 1: so we will go to the earliest instance, then the next,
Speaker 1: and then the most recent. You determine which of the
Speaker 1: three is fake. I tell you if you're right or wrong.
Speaker 1: You get a few minutes to decide. You do not
Speaker 1: get to ask any questions, right, no questions, So we
Speaker 1: can talk amongst ourselves. But you will, you will stone
Speaker 1: wall us if we have any clarifications. Perhaps, though, if
Speaker 1: we need you to restate one of the scenarios, you
Speaker 1: may at least at least accommodate us. Thusly, yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and I mean sometimes I'll answer questions too, because I
Speaker 1: am incorrigible. Don't encourage me. So are we prepared to
Speaker 1: hear the scenarios that I have gathered or fabricated. Yeah,
Speaker 1: give me one second, because, as as I think some
Speaker 1: of our long time listeners know, we did blow most
Speaker 1: of our budget on that giant grandfather clock. We don't
Speaker 1: have it with us now, but I have a handy
Speaker 1: stop watch, and I think we'll have three minutes after
Speaker 1: the after the pronouncement of final scenario. Yes, yes, after
Speaker 1: I finished the third, usual have three minutes to decide
Speaker 1: which is the false one. Here are your three. Oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, I fabricated these for your episode on
Speaker 1: pneumatic tubes, which was like a whole pandemic ago, so
Speaker 1: but we never used it. So I'm just gonna I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna fall back to that one. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Queen Elizabeth the First created a position within her kingdom
Speaker 1: that she considered quite important, the uncorker emotion bottles, because
Speaker 1: it was thought that spies were using messages in bottles
Speaker 1: to communicate secretly, though presumably inefficiently. The penalty for opening
Speaker 1: a bottle if you were not this very official person
Speaker 1: was death baby heading. In the late nineteenth cent this
Speaker 1: is scenario to a group of Austrian sailors and a
Speaker 1: journalist named John Sands was stranded on St. Kilda, an
Speaker 1: island off the coast of Scotland, and they placed a
Speaker 1: message in a bottle, tied it to a lifeboat and
Speaker 1: sent it out to see to ask for rescue, as
Speaker 1: the island's small food reserves were running too low to
Speaker 1: support the survivors and the weather was too rough for
Speaker 1: the local boats. They were fortunately were the tiny ships
Speaker 1: tossed in faith. It was. It was incredible, if not
Speaker 1: for the courage, but the fearless crew. Well, actually the
Speaker 1: boat was lost, so I guess screw them. They were
Speaker 1: rescued a couple of weeks later. Scenario three. The oldest
Speaker 1: verified message in a bottle is relatively young, having been
Speaker 1: dunked into the Indian Ocean in eighteen eighties six from
Speaker 1: a German ship named the Paula. An Australian woman named
Speaker 1: Tanya Illman found this message in a bottle while walking
Speaker 1: across some sand dunes in Australia. The pepis of the
Speaker 1: message wasn't to cry out for rescue or longing for love.
Speaker 1: It was to study ocean currents. Start that stop watch
Speaker 1: three two one okay, um, I gotta say no. I
Speaker 1: feel like On scenario three, I feel like I heard
Speaker 1: something about that. I'm tempted to say that's true. It
Speaker 1: seems legit. Uh, you've got to study those ocean currents.
Speaker 1: How else are you gonna know? I don't know, it
Speaker 1: just seems like a thing that people would study. Uh.
Speaker 1: Also scenario one, um, you know, it seems a bit extreme.
Speaker 1: You know, the idea of an ocean bottle uncorker does
Speaker 1: seem like the kind of pedantic job that would be
Speaker 1: created in a monarchy. But the idea of punishable by death,
Speaker 1: like for some poor slub uncorking one of those bottles,
Speaker 1: Like how would they even know? How would they find out?
Speaker 1: If they just kept it to themselves? It seems awful penalty.
Speaker 1: I am leaning towards scenario one being uh falsified to
Speaker 1: some degree too, seems legit as well. Yeah, two seems
Speaker 1: like it's a successful kind of message in a bottle
Speaker 1: um that would work. The point about scenario one also
Speaker 1: flagged for me. I clocked the idea. There are, as
Speaker 1: we all know, many many cartoonishly specific jobs in especially
Speaker 1: the British monarchy, uh, food taster and so on, so
Speaker 1: I could I don't know, though, the professional and quirker
Speaker 1: seems a little bit too far along the uh the
Speaker 1: spectrum of specificity, which is a thing I just made up,
Speaker 1: so I think, yeah, I think it's one. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one. Ben. Uh no rock
Speaker 1: paper scissors required. We you know there there there would
Speaker 1: be a way we could still rock paper scissor if
Speaker 1: we're in disagreement. So uh, you know you can't have
Speaker 1: it all, squister, But no, I don't think we need
Speaker 1: to this time. Yes, but if you disagree on two
Speaker 1: that are both true, then I still win. That's fair
Speaker 1: kind of head your bets a little bit. I think
Speaker 1: we're we're in full locked in agreement here on scenario one. World, gentleman, congratulations,
Speaker 1: that is in fact the first one. Now, now let
Speaker 1: me let me elaborate a bit here, because this is
Speaker 1: a this is a truly unusual situation. When I first
Speaker 1: gathered my scenarios to present to you for the tubes
Speaker 1: pneumatic episode, this was one of the true ones that
Speaker 1: I listed originally because it is widely reported if you
Speaker 1: do a search for uncorker of Ocean Bottles and Elizabeth
Speaker 1: the First, you're going to find tons of references, tons
Speaker 1: of them. Turns out, however, those all can be traced
Speaker 1: back not to an actual historical record, but to a
Speaker 1: novel written by French novelist Victor Hugo throughout such works
Speaker 1: as Lames a Robber. So it turns out that this legend,
Speaker 1: which has been widely reported as being true, actually is
Speaker 1: due to a piece of fiction, and no one else
Speaker 1: bothered to look, including almost me. But then I but
Speaker 1: but then I did it, and I used it as
Speaker 1: the fake one. But it didn't mean I have to go.
Speaker 1: I had to go and find another true one. So, man,
Speaker 1: you almost quisterred yourself. Dude. Yes, I don't even know
Speaker 1: that my own strength. Sometimes I'm sometimes I'm so devious.
Speaker 1: I fooled myself. You you scored, You scored what the
Speaker 1: British will call an own goal. There, didn't you an
Speaker 1: own goal? Yes? That's well. Fortunately, however you want to
Speaker 1: look at it. That episode we never got a chance
Speaker 1: to record because you know, stuff happened, a lot of it.
Speaker 1: And now we're at home and I have to just
Speaker 1: keep telling you. Listen. By the way, guys, you know
Speaker 1: warm fuzzy feelings novels can consider. Do you think it
Speaker 1: could maybe just send me the U R L. It's
Speaker 1: this guessing thing is it takes a lot of time.
Speaker 1: I think I think we can agree on that. It's
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's nice to have you back. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. Um, and this was fun. And also
Speaker 1: we're we're one up now on you if I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: so something like that. I'm sure someone out there is
Speaker 1: keeping track. I think we're tied. Okay, they were tied, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I believe the first one. This is the second
Speaker 1: of the new format, and I believe the first one.
Speaker 1: You guys completely Um you you you withed it? Oh,
Speaker 1: come on, you're not above that. Huh, all right, fine,
Speaker 1: you know what, you know what. I take back what
Speaker 1: I said. It's anyone's game. I shouldn't have pointed out
Speaker 1: that we're tied. But for those of your keeping score
Speaker 1: at home, vote your conscience, by which I mean, please
Speaker 1: root for us, because when we went to this new format,
Speaker 1: I believe, uh, team Ridiculous History was still maybe a
Speaker 1: little behind. I think you were only maybe two behind,
Speaker 1: maybe just one. It was close. Well, do do let
Speaker 1: us know out there in podcast lad You can do
Speaker 1: so in the usual social media channels where we are
Speaker 1: Ridiculous History on Instagram, and Twitter and Facebook and all
Speaker 1: that good business. You can join our Facebook group at
Speaker 1: the Ridiculous Historians, where you might even find I think
Speaker 1: you've had that you are l since the beginning, Quister,
Speaker 1: So you might find a little lurking Quister action there
Speaker 1: where you can you can needle him a little bit
Speaker 1: on there and and make him feel bad about himself. Um,
Speaker 1: but you know you could also be nice to him.
Speaker 1: I know this is a divisive segment, it being the
Speaker 1: most cringe worthy one in all of podcasting, but we
Speaker 1: like it, and uh, you know, if you don't like it,
Speaker 1: you know when to turn off the podcast and move on. Uh. Well,
Speaker 1: I I do want to point out, yes, we we
Speaker 1: enjoy this segment. You guys know, we're all suckers for segments,
Speaker 1: and we're always making new ones that we propose will
Speaker 1: do forever. So far, however, Jonathan, the Quister segment is
Speaker 1: the one we have. Actually you've actually stuck to our
Speaker 1: guns on. Uh. You can find Jonathan on Ridiculous Historians,
Speaker 1: but you can also find him on other shows. If
Speaker 1: you want to learn anything and everything about all things
Speaker 1: tech related, do check out one of the longest running
Speaker 1: historic shows on our network, and tire as Jonathan Strickland's
Speaker 1: tech stuff and Jonathan, I think people can find you
Speaker 1: a couple other places on the internet to you've got
Speaker 1: a Twitter. Yeah, yeah, you can find me on Twitter.
Speaker 1: That's at John Strickland. It's j O N for that
Speaker 1: And you can see as I post terrible puns, movie
Speaker 1: references and occasionally I get my dander up about politics.
Speaker 1: It's so fun. I can't wait to get all the responses.
Speaker 1: What happened to your accent? Buddy? Oh? Sometimes the Jonathan
Speaker 1: comes out and the quizt and goes into the back seat.
Speaker 1: Got it? Got it? Well, Hugh's reluctant. Thanks to you,
Speaker 1: Jonathan for for coming back. And yeah, I will definitely
Speaker 1: send you the proper you r l and and you
Speaker 1: can zoom bomb us any old time, buddy. Big thanks
Speaker 1: to super producer Casey Pegram Alex Williams who composed our theme,
Speaker 1: Christopher Haciots here in spirit. Big big thanks to our
Speaker 1: own north Pole Magnetic and physical or perhaps metaphorical research associate,
Speaker 1: Gay Blues. Yeah, big, big thanks to a Pure podcast
Speaker 1: or Eves Jeff Coach. Thanks as always to you, Jonathan Strickland,
Speaker 1: the quister and uh you know. No, Thanks to you.
Speaker 1: Thanks to you and Casey both for going on this weird,
Speaker 1: wide ranging journey towards the North Pole. We'll see you
Speaker 1: next time, folks. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.