Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the show, Ridiculous Historians. Thank you as always for
Speaker 1: tuning in. Uh, it's a lovely day here in Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker 1: The Ridiculous History crew is pretty excited for a number
Speaker 1: of reasons, but one just to gently brag about ourselves here, guys. Uh,
Speaker 1: we're actually temporarily somewhat just a little bit getting ahead
Speaker 1: in our recording schedule. How nuts is that? Hi? I'm Ben, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm no Ben. I completely credit the narwhal horn that
Speaker 1: we've been crushing up and uh uh topically applying to
Speaker 1: to various key areas. Um for this boost of energy.
Speaker 1: It's allowed us to to really get ahead of the curve.
Speaker 1: Peek behind the curtain, you guys. Um, nine times out
Speaker 1: of ten we are like just on the seat of
Speaker 1: our on the seat of our pants. By this the
Speaker 1: seat of our that's the one. In terms of our
Speaker 1: episode buffer, um, you know, a lot of shows just
Speaker 1: do one episode a week, but that's not enough for us.
Speaker 1: We have to bring you two episodes a week of
Speaker 1: original content live and direct, not live at all. But
Speaker 1: it's a little hard to keep up sometimes and both
Speaker 1: Ben and I took vacation last week, and you would
Speaker 1: think that would mean our buffer would be burned, but
Speaker 1: instead we actually made a couple of cool two parters
Speaker 1: that I'm very proud of with Joe Piazza. Uh, and
Speaker 1: we're ahead of the game. So yeah, congrats to us.
Speaker 1: And we should also mention we owe a lot of
Speaker 1: thanks to our super producer, Casey Pegrum. Casey, you were
Speaker 1: on vacation too. You know. As as the show continues, uh,
Speaker 1: super producer Casey's demands and his writer get longer and longer,
Speaker 1: more elaborate. Uh. You know, recently, Uh, Casey, I think
Speaker 1: you you said that you were gonna stop drinking out
Speaker 1: of any regular cups. They all had to be unicorn cups.
Speaker 1: Is that correct? That? Yeah, that is correct. And of
Speaker 1: course the standard eminem green eminem writer kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, no eye contact in the hallway. Um. These
Speaker 1: are just some of the few demands that I that
Speaker 1: I attached to that writer. Those are pretty standard though, honestly,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's it's the it's the heated
Speaker 1: uh six packs of white socks that really threw me
Speaker 1: for a loop. I'm like, you know, I know you
Speaker 1: want fresh socks, Casey, but we're all staying home. You
Speaker 1: don't really have to ad it's a comfort thing. And
Speaker 1: then that you have to arrive to you piping hot
Speaker 1: directly from the laundromat. Yeah, you know, and who does
Speaker 1: it appreciate a good set of socks there? Uh, Casey,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, I know we're giving you a little
Speaker 1: bit of a hard time, but but you've you've earned
Speaker 1: this position. You know, we're lucky to have you on
Speaker 1: this show. And even with all of your let's say
Speaker 1: specific or particular requirements, Uh, you're a tremendously swell guide
Speaker 1: to work with and pretty easy to work with, especially
Speaker 1: in comparison to I don't know, Null Royalty because they
Speaker 1: have some weird demands. In fact, today's episode, Uh, today's
Speaker 1: episode has uh some cameos by Weird Royalty and their
Speaker 1: weird demands. We are talking about one of the most
Speaker 1: famous mythological creatures in human history, and personally, just between
Speaker 1: us guys, one that never made a ton of sense
Speaker 1: to me. We're talking about the unicorn. Why didn't it
Speaker 1: make sense to you? Ben? I know, man, it's just
Speaker 1: I think it's because when you read about monsters and
Speaker 1: and I love monsters. When you read about them, they
Speaker 1: usually have superpowers that are somehow offensive. They have offensive powers.
Speaker 1: But unicorns have this weird relationship with um what is
Speaker 1: it virginity. Um. They have curative powers, but when when
Speaker 1: it comes to protecting themselves, unicorns just you know, they
Speaker 1: have a head stick. Yeah. I always think of when
Speaker 1: I think of unicorns, I think of the movie Legend
Speaker 1: with a very young Tom Cruise and a uh, once
Speaker 1: again absurdly made up Tim Curry playing I don't know,
Speaker 1: they'll call him the Devil, but he's basically the devil
Speaker 1: and he's got some crazy horns onto himself that are
Speaker 1: like the width of a man's forearm, you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that that movie centers around these unicorns and the quest
Speaker 1: for them and their magical powers. Um. And it's something
Speaker 1: that has persisted throughout history. The myth of the unicorn
Speaker 1: goes all the way back to classical antiquity UM and
Speaker 1: the idea of being able to kind of like siphon
Speaker 1: off their powers in their horn by removing it. And
Speaker 1: we even have evidence of a trade of unicorn horn
Speaker 1: that happened from the Middle Ages through the Renaissance by
Speaker 1: vikings who claimed to have killed these mythical creatures. We're
Speaker 1: gonna get to what they actually were in a little bit,
Speaker 1: but first, why don't we talk a little bit about
Speaker 1: the history of the unicorn and their first appearance in
Speaker 1: in in literature. Yeah, yeah, that's a great place to start,
Speaker 1: because I know what you're thinking here, ridiculous historians hang
Speaker 1: on a unicorn trade. Come on, guys, unicorns aren't real.
Speaker 1: Wait for it. We'll get there. So you're right. The
Speaker 1: myth of the unicorn is very, very old. This is
Speaker 1: not a recent thing. The first written mention of what
Speaker 1: we would call the unicorn today occurs in a book
Speaker 1: called Indica I n d I A k A. This
Speaker 1: is written by a guy named Testius, a fifth century
Speaker 1: Greek scholar, and in his story, the unicorn is basically
Speaker 1: a very fast magic donkey, and it's from India, and
Speaker 1: it has this single horn that has curative powers. It's
Speaker 1: like um, it's it's like a panacea. It can purify water,
Speaker 1: it can banish poison in food. But notice there that
Speaker 1: this is not a creature of Greek myth. Instead, it's
Speaker 1: a creature, at least in this story of Indian myth.
Speaker 1: But people took people took this book seriously. They did
Speaker 1: not think it was fanciful. They thought it was natural history.
Speaker 1: They thought it was true. You're talking about Indica. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm more of a sativa guy myself, but that's just
Speaker 1: personal preference. Um. And you know, and then in the
Speaker 1: Greeks did kind of co opt this, this myth, uh
Speaker 1: in the form of the Pegasus, which is the more
Speaker 1: badass version of the unit corn in my opinion, because
Speaker 1: as we know, the pegasus has wings and has all
Speaker 1: of those same curative magical abilities, but also can fly,
Speaker 1: which you know is on the top of most people's
Speaker 1: superpower wish list. I know that you take issue with that, Ben, Wait,
Speaker 1: wait does the does the pegases have curative powers? Well,
Speaker 1: I would assume if it's got all the other, you know,
Speaker 1: abilities of the unicorn, But maybe that's just me editorializing.
Speaker 1: I would hope that it doesn't just like get give
Speaker 1: up all of those powers and exchange for wings. I
Speaker 1: would hope it's like a double threat. I think it
Speaker 1: might just be the wings though, man bummer, Oh well,
Speaker 1: you can't have it all. I guess pegasys. But yeah,
Speaker 1: medieval scholars like you said, really took what was printed
Speaker 1: in this book by Tessius in the fifth century BC,
Speaker 1: as you know, the truth and um, you had really
Speaker 1: smart people like Aristotle and Leonardo da Vinci all referring
Speaker 1: to the unicorn as though it were a real thing,
Speaker 1: and even uh Middle Ages physicians talking about all of
Speaker 1: the curative powers of unicorn horn and its ability to
Speaker 1: detect and cure poison, like it was this kind of
Speaker 1: like one stop shop for all that ails you and
Speaker 1: gives you vigor and and and can protect you against
Speaker 1: the darkness. Yeah, and this was a booming business for
Speaker 1: a while. During the Middle Ages, the trade really took
Speaker 1: off because there was a little bit of religious syncretism
Speaker 1: that came into play, and people began associating the unicorn
Speaker 1: with Christianity. They thought of the unicorn as this symbol
Speaker 1: of Jesus Christ and it made it an almost holy animal.
Speaker 1: And by the age of the Renaissance, people were paying
Speaker 1: out the nose or should I say, up the horn
Speaker 1: for unicorn material and the cost of what was sold
Speaker 1: as a unicorn horn or unicorn dust or unicorn bits
Speaker 1: or however they sold it. Uh. It inflated to te
Speaker 1: in times their weight in gold or more. I do
Speaker 1: want to give a shout out, by the way to
Speaker 1: one of my favorite childhood animations, The Last Unicorn. Did
Speaker 1: you guys ever see that one? So sad, so sad? Uh.
Speaker 1: It's there's a devil character in that one too, isn't
Speaker 1: there kind of like an evil demon overlord kind of
Speaker 1: creature if I'm not mistaken, the evil witch Mommy Fortuna. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: And there's like a circus situation, like the Unicorns traveling
Speaker 1: with a circus, and yeah, really really cool. Um. I
Speaker 1: really quite enjoyed the band The Unicorns of early two
Speaker 1: thousands fame. They sort of burned out bright with one
Speaker 1: really cool record called who Will Cut Our Hair When
Speaker 1: We Are Gone? Um? And they have a song called
Speaker 1: I don't think it's called I Was Born in Unicorn
Speaker 1: and it just says we're the unicorns, were more than horses,
Speaker 1: were the Unicorns, and we're people to um, which I
Speaker 1: quite love. So if you haven't checked that out, I
Speaker 1: reck ammended. Also the band Islands that was offshoot of
Speaker 1: that band. It's definitely more hi fi. Yeah, it's very
Speaker 1: very good. But something about that Unicorns record is really
Speaker 1: plucky and kind of low fi and just a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. I highly highly recommend it. Get this. Uh,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. Jeff Bridges was in the Last Unicorn
Speaker 1: and it was a ranking bass film. That that explains
Speaker 1: why it was so good. I don't know if it aged.
Speaker 1: If it aged well, I haven't seen it for a
Speaker 1: long time, but let us know if you've seen it recently.
Speaker 1: I saw it a couple of years ago and I
Speaker 1: quite enjoyed it. But I love the ranking bass style
Speaker 1: of animation. It's very Uh, it's sort of like the
Speaker 1: next best thing to Disney in a lot of ways.
Speaker 1: They don't really get a lot of credit. But people
Speaker 1: forget too that The Land Before Time was a ranking
Speaker 1: bass film and everyone always assumes that it's Disney because
Speaker 1: it came out and had that same wide release. Uh,
Speaker 1: and it had like the toys you could get a
Speaker 1: Burger King, but it was a ranking bass film. I've
Speaker 1: been on a Gibli kick pretty uh for a while now,
Speaker 1: an HBO HBO Max. Yeah, I got like grandfathered into that,
Speaker 1: so I've been catching revisiting the jib Ley stuff. I
Speaker 1: was trying to get to the museum in Japan back
Speaker 1: when people could travel, but uh, story for another day. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we digress, So let's progress into the question we established earlier, Right,
Speaker 1: how do you sell a unicorn horn in a world
Speaker 1: where no unicorns exist? This is crazy because we're talking
Speaker 1: about a widespread what counterfeiting ring, a widespread hoax? What
Speaker 1: would you say? What? What were they actually selling and
Speaker 1: calling a unicorn horn? Yeah? Totally. It all goes back
Speaker 1: to the Vikings, those bloodthirsty rape and pillagers of of
Speaker 1: of antiquity of history. And they are also turns out
Speaker 1: we're pretty crafty, uh salespeople. Um. And they they had
Speaker 1: a bit of a hustle going on with this whole
Speaker 1: unicorn horn business. Um. It can be traced back to
Speaker 1: their tradeing with the Inuit of both Canada and Greenland. Greenland,
Speaker 1: excuse me, um, who harvested the tusks of narwhal, which
Speaker 1: I have to tell you, I'm gonna be completely honest here.
Speaker 1: If I thought nar walls were imaginary, too real, they're not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not. And I'll and and I can tell you why.
Speaker 1: It's because they just don't make any sense. You look
Speaker 1: at a nar wall, it's like a little tiny not tiny,
Speaker 1: but compared to like a great blue whale, pretty tiny
Speaker 1: with this massive tusk. It's a tooth. It's a single
Speaker 1: tooth protruding from its forehead, basically like a unicorn. But
Speaker 1: it has this really cool almost like braided kind of
Speaker 1: spiral design. Um. And and that it became incredibly sought after. Uh,
Speaker 1: largely I think because if it's you know, used as
Speaker 1: counterfeit unicorn horn. Yeah, I'm wondering. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: quite a credulated horn. But as you said, it's not
Speaker 1: only a horn at all. It's the upper left canine
Speaker 1: of the narwhal's mouth. So everyone listening, imagine if your
Speaker 1: upper left canine, you know, the canine one of your
Speaker 1: vampire teeth, if it was just huge and pushed closer
Speaker 1: to your forehead and protruded out. No, I can't blame you.
Speaker 1: It does seem, um, it does seem a bit whimsical,
Speaker 1: a bit Susian. And in terms of design. Uh. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the Vikings or other hoaxters would sell sometimes rhino
Speaker 1: or walrus horn, but narwhale quickly became sort of the
Speaker 1: gold standard or should we say, the unicorn standard here,
Speaker 1: and it is because Vikings had this extensive trade network.
Speaker 1: They also had control of the market because we have
Speaker 1: to remember the people in Europe. We're not going up
Speaker 1: to the northern wilds near as often, right, the people
Speaker 1: who are the customers here. Um, when Vikings were roaming
Speaker 1: the seas, let's say Ballpark around one thousand a d.
Speaker 1: They were also, as he said, hunting and harvesting narwhald,
Speaker 1: you know, for the meat, but also primarily for the horns.
Speaker 1: And they did something very clever because when they sold this,
Speaker 1: they never revealed the origin. Because the last thing you
Speaker 1: want is somebody else hopping on a boat and muscling
Speaker 1: in on your territory. We should also bust some Viking stereotypes,
Speaker 1: right Did you guys ever see that show Vikings. I
Speaker 1: never watched it, but I heard it was okay but
Speaker 1: a little problematic. Maybe I'm not sure what was your
Speaker 1: thinking then? You know, I didn't watch the entire run. Um,
Speaker 1: I can see how it would be problematic. But we
Speaker 1: have to bust some Viking stereotypes right now. I do
Speaker 1: know about that torture mechanism they used, called the blood Eagle,
Speaker 1: or maybe it wasn't torture. I would kill you or
Speaker 1: they would split your back open and hang you by
Speaker 1: like your lungs. I think they would pull your lungs
Speaker 1: out through your back and make it look like you
Speaker 1: had wings. And that was actually done in an episode
Speaker 1: of the really weird and interesting uh TV series Hannibal. Um,
Speaker 1: where one of the one of the psycho murderers that
Speaker 1: exist in that world, you know, made these blood eagle Hannibal.
Speaker 1: The cinematography is so beautiful, good shots and the and
Speaker 1: the murders scene shots. I watched it just for those. Casey,
Speaker 1: have you seen that show? Have you just just from
Speaker 1: the visual aspect. I'd love to hear what you think
Speaker 1: about it. No. I've seen like little clips and stuff
Speaker 1: of Hannibal, and I've heard the cinematography is really interesting,
Speaker 1: but I have not really seen the series. Not to
Speaker 1: get too far off track, but it's as interesting as
Speaker 1: the showrunner and the creator of that was the same
Speaker 1: guy that did that show. Um. I think it's called
Speaker 1: Pushing Daisies. That was sort of about like it was
Speaker 1: almost this Dr Susie and kind of world. Um. It
Speaker 1: also had murder, but it was much more tongue in cheek.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting that he went from that to this
Speaker 1: really really dark and just gloriously filmed series highly recommend.
Speaker 1: Also The Amazing Mad's Michelson Um plays plays Hannibal Mads.
Speaker 1: Michelson also played a Viking in a Nicholas Winding Refin movie.
Speaker 1: What was that one called Casey Valhalla Rising? I think yep, yes, right,
Speaker 1: that's right, and he plays this kind of wandering one
Speaker 1: eyed viking and the Vikings to your point, ben um
Speaker 1: really quickly. By the way, the normal horn can reach
Speaker 1: up to nine feet in length, which is insane. And
Speaker 1: they're big and they're very very sharp. They're not like
Speaker 1: a blunt instrument. They're very like pointy and um. Like
Speaker 1: you said, Ben, the Vikings, we would interact with the
Speaker 1: Inuit which were kind of like you know, Eskimo types
Speaker 1: basically that lived in the frozen waste of Canada and Greenland.
Speaker 1: And the legend actually of the narwhale and its origin
Speaker 1: is an Inuite legend that an Inuit woman was dragged
Speaker 1: into the water by her harpoon rope that she had
Speaker 1: tied to her waist when she was spearing a whale,
Speaker 1: and that she was transformed into the narwhale with her
Speaker 1: hair uh turn and into that spiraling tusk um. And
Speaker 1: it's only the male in our walls that that have
Speaker 1: the horn, by the way, so that's really interesting that
Speaker 1: it was over that it was a woman. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the Vikings, as we you know, I know, you want
Speaker 1: to bust some myths. They there's definitely some truth to
Speaker 1: how ruthless they could be, um and that they would
Speaker 1: do these raids, and they would you know, steal things
Speaker 1: from um ships and they would board you know, merchant vessels.
Speaker 1: They were in fact incredible navigators and like we said,
Speaker 1: also very smart traders. But what was what were some
Speaker 1: of the Viking myths you wanted to bust, ben So
Speaker 1: first wanting to bust the idea that these are knuckleheads.
Speaker 1: This couldn't be further from the case. Uh. Secondly, there
Speaker 1: was never really a unified quote unquote Viking empire, right,
Speaker 1: These were a lot of inter related but relatively autonomous groups. Uh. Also,
Speaker 1: and I don't I don't know why this got to me.
Speaker 1: This is a misconception I had for a long time.
Speaker 1: Vikings didn't wear horned helmets. First off, they're kind of
Speaker 1: a terrible idea because it makes it really easy to
Speaker 1: remove a helmet in a fight if you could just
Speaker 1: grab the horn Uh. And also uh that that idea
Speaker 1: is really recent. It goes back to one of an
Speaker 1: opera cycle that I think we all like Wagner The
Speaker 1: Ring of the niebel Lung in eighteen seventy six of
Speaker 1: production of that. Uh. And they weren't all barbarians to
Speaker 1: your point. They were very shrewd traders, and that's how
Speaker 1: they capitalized on the unicorn industry. They knew something that um,
Speaker 1: the advertising industry uses all the time today, and it's
Speaker 1: this simple, brilliant understanding. When you are selling something to people,
Speaker 1: you are not just selling them a physical object. You're
Speaker 1: selling them an idea. Right, You're selling them something aspirational.
Speaker 1: People aren't buying or Rolls Royce just because they think
Speaker 1: it's a dependable car. They're buying it because they associated
Speaker 1: with success. And so people were buying these quote unquote
Speaker 1: unicorn horns because they saw the transaction is one where
Speaker 1: they were also purchasing prestige, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like like you said, no, they got they got into
Speaker 1: this business from trading with Inuit communities. And then sometime
Speaker 1: in the past, we don't know exactly when, but sometime
Speaker 1: in the past, a Viking trader sold one of these
Speaker 1: horns to a European trader, and at first this Viking
Speaker 1: trader didn't lie to them, didn't give them a smoke show.
Speaker 1: They just sold them a horn. And it was the
Speaker 1: European trader who was like, hang on, I've heard of unicorns,
Speaker 1: and he told his buddies I have a unicorn horn,
Speaker 1: and everybody else said I want one? Is it true?
Speaker 1: They cured his ease. We'll get to that part, but
Speaker 1: it took off like gangbusters from there. I just I
Speaker 1: want to put that out there. The first Viking who
Speaker 1: sold a horn to European trader probably didn't lie and
Speaker 1: say it was a unicorn, but they went with it. Well,
Speaker 1: it's like that historical game of telephone we always talk
Speaker 1: about two where it's like, oh, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: people are expecting to be able to get unicorn horn
Speaker 1: because maybe they heard someone else got one, and then
Speaker 1: before you know, that's where the demand shifts. To write, um,
Speaker 1: super super interesting the way we see this throughout history. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And one interesting economic note here. As soon as this
Speaker 1: stuff started to become really expensive, obviously, the vast majority
Speaker 1: of people living in Europe could not afford to buy
Speaker 1: a unicorn horn from a Viking. What are they like.
Speaker 1: We're talking about a time when people lived and died
Speaker 1: very close to where they were born. Not a ton
Speaker 1: of people had a ton of money. So that means
Speaker 1: that there is a niche market for the unicorn horn.
Speaker 1: That niche market is royalty. Casey, I'm sorry we busted
Speaker 1: your chops a little bit about that writer and and
Speaker 1: your various demands for the show, because hearing about the
Speaker 1: lives of kings and queens man, they must have been
Speaker 1: difficult to work with. They also had a tough job,
Speaker 1: right now, that's some warm feet, Casey on the case. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And as we've we've been episodes on this in the
Speaker 1: past about how popular poisoning was uh during the Age
Speaker 1: of Enlightenment. So a lot of royalty were super paranoid.
Speaker 1: The idea of food tasters and all of that, you know,
Speaker 1: is something that you see, you know, in pop culture
Speaker 1: a lot. But they were always looking for ways to
Speaker 1: protect themselves against this silent killer, um and and with
Speaker 1: good reason. It was definitely something to be concerned about.
Speaker 1: We've certainly seen successful cases of poisonings throughout history. Um And.
Speaker 1: One of the ways they thought they could do that
Speaker 1: was to pay quite exorbitant sums of money for various
Speaker 1: magical objects um that they thought would protect them against
Speaker 1: being poisoned or somehow um indicate that there was poison
Speaker 1: in something, you know, like without having to kill your
Speaker 1: food taster, or that it would you know, be an
Speaker 1: antecdote antidote to it, or what have you. But the
Speaker 1: most highly prized of these was unicorn horn um. And
Speaker 1: it was actually also known by the name alicorn. And
Speaker 1: this was like in the age before um we really
Speaker 1: had much understanding of science or of the chemical makeup
Speaker 1: of things, of why something would do the thing that
Speaker 1: it would do. We just were able to like look
Speaker 1: at uh, you know, firsthand experience and say, okay, this
Speaker 1: herb has this effect. We don't really know why, but
Speaker 1: we know it does. Um. And then also like the
Speaker 1: placebo effect is still a very real phenomenon. So folks
Speaker 1: would certainly maybe take things and convince themselves that it
Speaker 1: did a good job because they imbued it with these
Speaker 1: magical properties and magical powers. So also you paid a
Speaker 1: crapload of money for it, so nobody wants to spend
Speaker 1: that kind of loot. And then thinking they're getting built,
Speaker 1: so that probably helped continue this myth circulating. But we
Speaker 1: have some interesting information from Eleanor herman Um in her
Speaker 1: book The Royal Art of poison Or. She says, before
Speaker 1: chemistry was a thing, people believe that many objects and
Speaker 1: food stuff had magical virtues or properties. Ruler believes such
Speaker 1: items would protect them because that is what the most
Speaker 1: learned men of the time told them. These days, world
Speaker 1: leaders have their secret service agents. Back then, they had
Speaker 1: their food tasters. Yeah, so this is this is a
Speaker 1: really great point, and this is a myth, another myth
Speaker 1: I'd like to bust here. I know it sounds silly
Speaker 1: that people might believe in the curative powers of a
Speaker 1: rare animal, right, and they also believed unicorns were real.
Speaker 1: But they're no different from people today, right. We we
Speaker 1: work with the information we have available, right, And it's
Speaker 1: just so it's so condescending to look back and think, Wow,
Speaker 1: these people were real dunder heads. Uh. No, these were
Speaker 1: smart people. These were world leaders. Uh. The European rulers,
Speaker 1: of course, pretty out of touch with the common people
Speaker 1: of the world. They became obsessed with owning that magical
Speaker 1: unicorn horn. It's the aristocratic version of keeping up with
Speaker 1: the Joneses. And even today there's so much advertising stuff
Speaker 1: that goes into her, so much market psychology because you know,
Speaker 1: even today you'll see that people who pay more for
Speaker 1: something tend to feel better about it, right, And that's
Speaker 1: what's happening with unicorn horns. The Vatican is also not
Speaker 1: immune to this. In fifteen thirty three, Pope Clement the
Speaker 1: seventh gave King Francis of you know, France, magnificent horn.
Speaker 1: But this was super fancy. This wasn't just a unicorn
Speaker 1: horn or a c unicorn as they called it some times.
Speaker 1: This horn was mounted in solid gold. Ivan the Terrible
Speaker 1: that's a great name, by the way, had a staff
Speaker 1: made from one, which is such an amazing move. Now
Speaker 1: I want to horn staff if it didn't mean I'd
Speaker 1: kill a unicorn for it. You deserve when Ben, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make a note of that for for your
Speaker 1: next birthday, which is coming up. Actually we both share
Speaker 1: the same birthday week. Um, so be on the lookout
Speaker 1: for a sweet gilded unicorn horn scepter worthy of your station,
Speaker 1: my friend and podcast. Um oh no need to no
Speaker 1: need to guild it. You know, I'm terrified of metal. Yeah, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll get back to you. I'm gonna mount it then. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's interesting too. I have to say, backing up to
Speaker 1: the Vatican, like, wasn't the power of Christ enough for them? Man?
Speaker 1: They had to have like magical artifacts like unicorn horns.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't understand all of this mythology
Speaker 1: is fascinating. Um. But yeah, so phil at the seconds
Speaker 1: apparently had twelve of them, just like a whole like
Speaker 1: you know, cadre of unicorn horns, and he probably kept
Speaker 1: in some kind of gilded cabinet. Um. By the way,
Speaker 1: a lot of this is coming from one of our
Speaker 1: favorite sites, History dot com. I mean, you know they
Speaker 1: who how do you even get that that you are
Speaker 1: l They must have been really early to the game
Speaker 1: of internet addresses to get History dot com. But they
Speaker 1: earned it, my friend, because they have some really great
Speaker 1: reporting on all kinds of stuff, and we crib from
Speaker 1: them quite often. This one's called unicorn Horns, Royal Protection
Speaker 1: and poison anecdotes. Completely unfounded speculation here. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that it actually the website actually began as like high story,
Speaker 1: like high Commas story, and they would just tell stories
Speaker 1: and then they they sort of stumbled into it. They
Speaker 1: fell upward. You know, I love it. That's a good
Speaker 1: way to fall if, I mean, it defies the laws
Speaker 1: of gravity. But if that's how you know you're doing
Speaker 1: a good job. Um. But yeah, the Habsburg family, we
Speaker 1: know all about them. They yeah, no, no good. They
Speaker 1: had a guilded uh quote unquote unicorn horn mounted in
Speaker 1: a giant scepter, covered in in in precious stones and
Speaker 1: gems and rubies. Um. And uh, you know, Queen Elizabeth
Speaker 1: the first of England um also fully on board the
Speaker 1: unicorn horn train. Um. She bought a lot of these
Speaker 1: and one of them went for ten thousand pounds UM,
Speaker 1: which was the cost of an entire castle around four
Speaker 1: to five million pounds today um for one unicorn horn.
Speaker 1: It's it's kind of sickening if you think about the
Speaker 1: absurd wealth that has been squandered over the centuries on
Speaker 1: you know, bullcrap. Basically, Yeah, it's it's insane. It's it's
Speaker 1: especially wasteful to to to a defensive degree. The thing is, though,
Speaker 1: that people really did believe this stuff worked. You know
Speaker 1: what I want to see, guys, I want to see
Speaker 1: the Viking Billy Mays in the Viking unicorn horn commercial
Speaker 1: where he's just going like, but wait, there's more. You know,
Speaker 1: Sprinkle this tusk on wounds, swallow it to cure diseases. Oh,
Speaker 1: do you like knife handles. We can make them out
Speaker 1: of horn or goblets or amulets to wear around your throat. Hey,
Speaker 1: you can get a chip of unicorn horn and just
Speaker 1: drop it in your wine, drop it in your food
Speaker 1: if you can't afford a whole goblet of unicorn horn,
Speaker 1: because this will tell you whether or not there is poison.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. The entire time this this trade is occurring,
Speaker 1: there is not one case of proven, successfully detected poison.
Speaker 1: It literally had zero results and people loved it. Well,
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, Ben, for the ridiculous
Speaker 1: historians at home. Um, you know, it's sort of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't think at some point they somebody escalated at
Speaker 1: some super rich royal is like the horn is not enough.
Speaker 1: I want an actual unicorn. And the fact that no
Speaker 1: one had ever seen one of these mythical creatures didn't
Speaker 1: like tip any red flags, like, well, what do you
Speaker 1: think the reasoning was when someone would go to a
Speaker 1: tradesman you know who was trading in unicorn horn and
Speaker 1: say I want you to bag me a proper unicorn
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna keep in my stables. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a good question. And we see this situation crop up
Speaker 1: more more than once in the story of trade. If
Speaker 1: I had to guess, and this is just a guess here, folks,
Speaker 1: if I had to guess, I would say that there
Speaker 1: was supply side repression, by which I mean the Vikings
Speaker 1: knew that it was not in their best interest to
Speaker 1: give people the source right to let them know about
Speaker 1: the norm wall. The same way maybe that during the
Speaker 1: during the silk trade, silk worms were closely guarded species
Speaker 1: right or closely guarded life form. Ben, I think your
Speaker 1: spot on that makes perfect sense. And can we make
Speaker 1: this a segment now wild speculation. This is where we
Speaker 1: we just conjecture and we have a little music bump.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Casey? It alright? Okay with us, Ben?
Speaker 1: Unfounded speculation. That's unfounded speculation. So we got high story
Speaker 1: dot com and then we got uh yeah, and then
Speaker 1: we've got this speculation. But we we also here, well,
Speaker 1: we have we have proof of the discovery of these
Speaker 1: quote unquote curative powers right, Because it turns out one
Speaker 1: British explorer did actually make it to the Arctic and
Speaker 1: did seem to find a unicorn of sorts, asked Martin Frobischer,
Speaker 1: who we've we've reported on before, if I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: a very well known British explorer who went to the
Speaker 1: Arctic in fifteen seventy seven. Um, And when he returned,
Speaker 1: he brought with him a six foot long uh tusk
Speaker 1: that he had found on what he referred to as
Speaker 1: a dead sea unicorn um and he tested this is great.
Speaker 1: He tested the tusk's medical potency by putting spiders inside
Speaker 1: of it. When the spiders died, he declared that the
Speaker 1: horns were effective and neutralizing their poison. Brilliant deduction there.
Speaker 1: And then he gave it to Queen Elizabeth as a gift,
Speaker 1: and she, um, you know, respected this guy and thought
Speaker 1: that his methods were sound, and she was so impressed
Speaker 1: that she ordered that it be preserved alongside the British
Speaker 1: crown jewels, which is like a phrase that we used
Speaker 1: to refer to any of the like highest regarded, you know,
Speaker 1: very very tightly guarded things in any you know, situation.
Speaker 1: The Crown Jewels of automobiles. This is the Crown jewels,
Speaker 1: and then the narwhale horn was right alongside it. Um.
Speaker 1: And in the late sixteen hundreds we have Christian the
Speaker 1: fifth of Denmark. Uh. He had his throne like a
Speaker 1: game of thrones fashion made out of unicorn horns that
Speaker 1: had to have been pricey um. And that was used
Speaker 1: for coronation ceremonies. Yeah. And now now we're getting to
Speaker 1: a an important turn in our story, because we understandably
Speaker 1: have to wonder, right, did everyone take this at face value?
Speaker 1: Did literally nobody test the product here? Uh? It turns
Speaker 1: out someone did. After Elizabeth King James, the first takes
Speaker 1: the throne, and according to Nigel Suckling, the author of
Speaker 1: a book named Unicorns, King James was a little bit skeptical.
Speaker 1: He was a little bit more of a critical thinker,
Speaker 1: perhaps a little bit less credulous. And he purchased a
Speaker 1: horn and he said, look, I spent so much money
Speaker 1: on this, I dropped so much scratch. I gotta try
Speaker 1: this out. So the way, the way that he did it,
Speaker 1: which is not super ethical, is this. He poisoned one
Speaker 1: of his servants and then he gave them an antidote
Speaker 1: made of this powdered unicorn horn. Keep in mind, this
Speaker 1: is supposed to be the cure for any and all
Speaker 1: things poisonous. Uh. The servant died, and so James's conclusion
Speaker 1: was not not necessarily that unicorn horn didn't work. Uh. Instead,
Speaker 1: he thought maybe he bought a fake one, which to
Speaker 1: me is, I know, someone died, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a terrible person, But that's that's kind of ridiculous, right,
Speaker 1: It's fine, man, it's been long enough. We can we
Speaker 1: can poke a little fun at it, because it is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I wonder if he did it like knowingly, you know,
Speaker 1: with the claim believing that he was going to be
Speaker 1: cured by the unit of the powdered unicorn horn. And
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, what's the work. It was
Speaker 1: consensual poisoning. Consensual poisoning. Isn't King James the first Bible guy?
Speaker 1: He's the Bible guy? Right? Yeah, that's correct. Uh, the
Speaker 1: King James version of the Bible. It's a it's a
Speaker 1: story all its own, it's its own episode. But long
Speaker 1: story short. Back in six four, King James, sometime around
Speaker 1: the time he was, you know, consentually poisoning servants. During
Speaker 1: his reign, he authorized a new translation of the Bible. Uh,
Speaker 1: totally too, you know, shore up his own his own
Speaker 1: power structure. So he was a smart guy. Again, maybe
Speaker 1: not super ethical. Um, but here's the deal. We see
Speaker 1: this test fails, right, so he assumes I gotta counterfeit horn.
Speaker 1: But there's a reason we're not really trading unicorn horn
Speaker 1: for curative properties today, and that is that two forces
Speaker 1: spelled the end for the gradual decline of the unicorn trade.
Speaker 1: One was wider exploration and the other was good old
Speaker 1: fashioned science. Yeah, the Vikings had you know, done a
Speaker 1: really fantastic job of creating this demand. However they did
Speaker 1: it how whatever game of historical telephone created this notion
Speaker 1: that the unicorn horn was some kind of magical uh
Speaker 1: you know, cure all um and, and they created a
Speaker 1: market for it um and a demand for it that
Speaker 1: made it worth its weight in gold more than its
Speaker 1: way in gold um and. And it was all based
Speaker 1: on belief. Because even in the one instance we have
Speaker 1: of testing, uh, it's still the belief persevered. Where King
Speaker 1: James was like, ah, man, somebody sold me, you know,
Speaker 1: a bunk unicorn horn. But he didn't think to like
Speaker 1: question the oover the whole structure of the deal, right. Uh,
Speaker 1: same with with Frobisher putting spiders inside the horn, Like
Speaker 1: it's you know, there is testing being done. But be
Speaker 1: like you said, science wasn't really a thing. But once
Speaker 1: the Enlightenment comes along and brings in all of these
Speaker 1: advances in the scientific method and experimentation, by the late
Speaker 1: seventeenth century, magic and alchemy and all of that stuff
Speaker 1: was kind of going by the wayside because it was
Speaker 1: being replaced by stuff that was much more actually effective
Speaker 1: and could be tested. And unicorn horns and other magical
Speaker 1: objects that would repel poison or you know, uh protect
Speaker 1: you against the dark arts or whatever. All of that stuff,
Speaker 1: which as we know now it seems so obvious, is
Speaker 1: based around superstition, that all began to take a back
Speaker 1: seat to uh to the new ways which were based
Speaker 1: around science and rigorous kind of study. Yeah, that's absolutely correct.
Speaker 1: Real quick, I want a laundry list some other purported
Speaker 1: poison cures of the time. Have you guys ever heard
Speaker 1: of bezi wars? No, certain, it's so gross. I found
Speaker 1: out about I think I found out about this in
Speaker 1: uh the US in graphic novel series The Sandman. A
Speaker 1: bezoar is a solid mass of undigested food or even
Speaker 1: hair that you find in digestive tracts of animals and
Speaker 1: fish and humans. And so people thought that bezo wars
Speaker 1: could cure poison. They also thought that, uh they also
Speaker 1: thought that pearls were powerful antidotes. Anyway, we're just saying
Speaker 1: that unicorn horns were the only example. They were just
Speaker 1: one of the most expensive. The science just wasn't there
Speaker 1: for unicorn horns. As people did more and more research
Speaker 1: and explorers found nar walls. Eventually, late in the age
Speaker 1: of exploration, European naturalists and adventurers traveled north. You know,
Speaker 1: the nar whall only lives in the Arctic, and they
Speaker 1: saw this SNAr wall in its natural environment, and this
Speaker 1: was a real death knell for the superstition of the
Speaker 1: unicorn kind of as a as a horse, right, because
Speaker 1: the narwhale, you know you mentioned this before, the tusk
Speaker 1: or the horn can grow to a huge size. These
Speaker 1: things themselves can be more than uh five meters long, right,
Speaker 1: they're big. You can clearly tell that that's the source
Speaker 1: of the horn. If you had seen a horn before
Speaker 1: in Europe. And then also, of course we have to
Speaker 1: point out, Uh, the Europeans learned about this, but it's
Speaker 1: not fair to say they quote unquote discovered it because
Speaker 1: many other communities knew about nar walls for a much
Speaker 1: longer time. Uh. There's a physician and zoologists with an
Speaker 1: awesome name. He's Danish. His name is old worm or
Speaker 1: old verm. What do you think? Oh? I like old
Speaker 1: worm better, but you know, yeah, if it's Danish, the
Speaker 1: w is probably a V sound. But old worm that's
Speaker 1: a really good like DJ name DJ old worm like
Speaker 1: that very very much. Um, Oh my gosh, what are
Speaker 1: of thinking of? There's a oh I know what it is.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a it's a it's a show sketch
Speaker 1: where it's a senator tanker bell and he's at a
Speaker 1: like a like a kind of a pioneer arts and
Speaker 1: Crafts fair. And there's someone it's like he's like, I'm
Speaker 1: a whole swirlow and this is the Ozark Mountain tradition
Speaker 1: of song story in and he goes, okay, old I
Speaker 1: love the notion of old being someone's first name. So
Speaker 1: now we're definitely gonna go with old worm. I have
Speaker 1: I have one of those walking things, you know, the
Speaker 1: one that David Crosses character. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good stuff.
Speaker 1: Anybody who hasn't that really rewatched or rediscovered or discovered
Speaker 1: for the first time, Mr show. Um, all that stuff
Speaker 1: is on HBO streaming. They have all all the seasons
Speaker 1: on their high highly highly recommended. Um. Yeah. But ol
Speaker 1: uh discovered the Narwall's himself, UM and and he that's
Speaker 1: when he realized in eight that hey, this is that,
Speaker 1: this is the thing, this is what these horns looked like.
Speaker 1: Oh no, we've put two and two together and we've
Speaker 1: been had for low these many years. UM. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: This this, this practice of selling, buying and selling unicorn
Speaker 1: horns um for exorbitant amounts of money um in the
Speaker 1: highest echelons of of royalty and royal society, completely dried
Speaker 1: up after a hundred years. More than a hundred years UM.
Speaker 1: In seventeen forty six, Uh, it was still vaguely being used.
Speaker 1: Some British doctors were prescribing alcorn as some kind of
Speaker 1: miracle cure UM. And today you can see some of
Speaker 1: the holdovers from the from these collections, Like we talked
Speaker 1: about the one that that Elizabeth held in in the
Speaker 1: in the in the tower with the with the crown jewels,
Speaker 1: and some of the ones that were you know, kept
Speaker 1: in these in these antiquity cabinets of curiosity, right um.
Speaker 1: And you can find those at some museums around the
Speaker 1: country to to this day. And so there you have it.
Speaker 1: Ridiculous historians, the the story of the the bustling centuries
Speaker 1: long unicorn trade. This you know, history doesn't repeat, right,
Speaker 1: but it does rhyme as as the old saying goes.
Speaker 1: And unfortunately, there is still a bustling illegal trade in
Speaker 1: narwhal tusk or horns today. Uh people don't think it's
Speaker 1: the horn of a unicorn anymore. But the average price
Speaker 1: of a narwall tusk now is around uh three thousand
Speaker 1: to twelve thousand pounds. There's also the rare double tusk
Speaker 1: that is around thirty one dollars US. And and it's
Speaker 1: strange because you know, again to that point of um
Speaker 1: of how easy it is to look back on people
Speaker 1: and communities of the past and think that they were
Speaker 1: maybe not as smart as us. We have to remember
Speaker 1: there's still a booming trade in uh illegal animal parts
Speaker 1: and in a large part of it still is motivated
Speaker 1: by the idea that some of these things have curative powers, right, like,
Speaker 1: think about all the think about all the animals poached
Speaker 1: today because somebody part of theirs is considered for some reason,
Speaker 1: and aphrodisiac. You know this, This hasn't really stopped. We
Speaker 1: just don't call them unicorns anymore. Oh no, what is
Speaker 1: it that's really big for aphrodisiacs. I believe it's um. Well,
Speaker 1: sea horses is one, like crushed up sea horses is
Speaker 1: a big one. But then there's also rhino horn is
Speaker 1: a is a big one that I think any of
Speaker 1: these exotic horns that you know typically come from endangered animals,
Speaker 1: which makes them usually quite illegal. But there's also like
Speaker 1: um dear antler, for example, is still um considered to
Speaker 1: be a very effective aphrodisiac. But again, sometimes I wonder
Speaker 1: is it just the placebo effect. If you think you're
Speaker 1: gonna get randy from snorting a line of deer antler,
Speaker 1: maybe that's just self fulfilling prophecy. And I'm not that
Speaker 1: you that's not necessarily how you would take this place,
Speaker 1: like the snake wine exactly exactly um. But now these
Speaker 1: kinds of superstitions while a little more fringe and uh
Speaker 1: and under the radar, absolutely still a thing and it
Speaker 1: all came um from this uh, this historical hustle. Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1: And one cool thing I want to point out because
Speaker 1: I know that I know I was able to talk
Speaker 1: to you guys into going with me on a Russian icebreaker,
Speaker 1: the fifty let poboty. When we go to the Arctic
Speaker 1: on it will be in our whall country. We can
Speaker 1: see these for ourselves. I'm so down, so am I
Speaker 1: so am I Casey, I saw I saw a nod
Speaker 1: that looked to be affirmative on your side of the zoom. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: this trip is getting better and better. And speaking of trips,
Speaker 1: we are going to hit the digital road today. Thank you,
Speaker 1: as always so much for tuning in. Big, big thanks
Speaker 1: to our super producer, uh the Emperor of Green Eminem's
Speaker 1: Casey Pegram. Huge thanks of course to Christopher hasci Otis
Speaker 1: massive thanks to Alex Williams who composed our theme. Jonathan
Speaker 1: Strickland and his alter ego the quiz Sir. So the
Speaker 1: last time we had him on he kind of bounced
Speaker 1: back and forth a little bit. I'm kind of worried
Speaker 1: about old strick. Um, so we're gonna have him on
Speaker 1: and give him a little more zoom comfort during his core. Um.
Speaker 1: Huge thanks to Ease Jeff Coast. Check out her podcast
Speaker 1: This Day in History, available now wherever you get podcasts,
Speaker 1: and hey, you know, while you're looking at podcasts and
Speaker 1: you're on that whole Apple podcast platform, why not leave
Speaker 1: us a nice review. Um. It really helps people discover
Speaker 1: the show and it makes us feel good in our
Speaker 1: little hearts, which occasionally we need during these dark times. Yeah,
Speaker 1: every time that, every time that we get a good review,
Speaker 1: the president of our company, I don't know if he
Speaker 1: does this to you guys, but the president of our
Speaker 1: company calls me and says, I'm just a little bit
Speaker 1: closer than not getting fired. So he ferstally, I greatly
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Not to mention that every time you leave
Speaker 1: a good review for Ridiculous History, a narwhal gets its
Speaker 1: horn technically a tooth. See you next time, folks. For
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