Speaker 1: Well, well, come back to another episode about me, this covidition.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes, that's Kevin Policles. Well,
Speaker 1: how do you know I've never been fishing on the ocean?
Speaker 1: Did the Internet tell you that? Get jack off? What
Speaker 1: do I care about catching a damn fish? Anyways? No,
Speaker 1: you shut up, but I digressed. Let's meet our auncame is,
Speaker 1: shall we, in no particular order, Please say hello to
Speaker 1: James Heeny, Jay Heen and or Sheen. When was the
Speaker 1: last time you slept under the stars? And by that
Speaker 1: I mean in the backyard of a celebrity? Oh never never.
Speaker 1: Please if your barbecue comes back, that your invite me.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to go to your barbecue so that
Speaker 1: you can sleep in the backyard. Yeah, I mean that
Speaker 1: would be I assume you as I see it as
Speaker 1: that's the only reason to invite you at this point.
Speaker 1: Say hey to Craig Kaikowski Kakaw, what was your first
Speaker 1: car and why? Well it was in nineteen seventy nine
Speaker 1: Lincoln Continental. It was it was a Pentmobile. Basically, I
Speaker 1: had fuzzy dice. I had a state of the art
Speaker 1: eight track player with the Queen. The game and four
Speaker 1: and or four were the two eight tracks I owned
Speaker 1: and Uh it got about ten miles per gallon and
Speaker 1: it was a hand me down from my grandfather. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my first car was hand me down from Grandpap's two. Uh.
Speaker 1: Please welcome first timer Gary Anthony Williams. Starting a new
Speaker 1: tradition for first timers. Best friend, Gary Anthony Williams. Please
Speaker 1: tell us about an awkward moment from your early days
Speaker 1: learning improv. Uh, an awkward moment from my early days
Speaker 1: learning improv. This is this is this is a little surprising.
Speaker 1: I've never had one, and I mean everything in my
Speaker 1: life goes exactly as we have a winner. No more calls,
Speaker 1: pencils down. Hey, there's Mark Gagliardi gags and who Any
Speaker 1: memories about Craig Kakowski come to mind? Um? Remember Yes,
Speaker 1: the first time that I met Craig Kakowski was at
Speaker 1: the Chicago Film Critics Awards. UH. And I walked up
Speaker 1: and I saw Craig and the cast of The Second
Speaker 1: City UH sitting at a table. And I was a
Speaker 1: star struck young improviser. I pushed past all of the
Speaker 1: movie stars at this Film Critics Awards went straight to
Speaker 1: the Second City table and uh fond over them, and
Speaker 1: Craig Katkowski said, why are you talking to us? There's
Speaker 1: movie stars here. That sounds like an exact quote. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was pretty great and then uh, and now I
Speaker 1: love working with him. He'll be missed, he'll be missed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really sad he's got and last, but come here
Speaker 1: and say that if you think him least. It's Joey
Speaker 1: g Coucie cooped up. Any moment from high school that
Speaker 1: you'd like to have back? Yeah, when I dislocated my kneecap.
Speaker 1: Keep talking, I'd like to have that moment back. Uh
Speaker 1: and repeat. I know it's sucked up. You want to
Speaker 1: dislocate again? Yeah, I got to wear shorts, you know that?
Speaker 1: Like your family, with that family that like only long bridges,
Speaker 1: right like you? Yes, all right, let's do a damn show.
Speaker 1: Almost all of our scene suggestions today are gathered from
Speaker 1: listener emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please right
Speaker 1: to the podcast at your name here at alchemys dot com.
Speaker 1: That's your name here at alchemy dot com. Uh. Scene
Speaker 1: number one comes from Patreon v I P. Chants, who wrote,
Speaker 1: hello you talented sons of bitches just come straight at
Speaker 1: our mother's just like that. I dedicate this scene to James.
Speaker 1: Oh how nice James? Is that? Yeah? Yeah, nothing, nothing, James.
Speaker 1: I'd like you to play a James Bond villain who
Speaker 1: was obsessed with taking over coffee farms around the world
Speaker 1: so he can maintain his coffee consumption. That's a real listener.
Speaker 1: Thank you all, Chance Otwell from Alabama. Uh Shaw, was
Speaker 1: this here the field that we were we taking over?
Speaker 1: Your boss? This is the place? Ah, it seems so
Speaker 1: much smaller than I expected it to be. Get those
Speaker 1: condamn pirns away from my coffee beans. Who I got it? Birds, Birds,
Speaker 1: get away from those beings. Those are the boss. I
Speaker 1: heard you the first time. Oh shit, shit, So sorry
Speaker 1: about owners and the birds were going at a deal
Speaker 1: with you. Huh yeah. Look we got a good deal
Speaker 1: on this place where you said find us a good deal, boss,
Speaker 1: and we found you a good deal. Second you said
Speaker 1: you got a quote deal. I thought we were going
Speaker 1: to be taking this car far. Oh yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I mean. It's it's it's it's it's no no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: tell the truth. Did we buy this legally? Because I
Speaker 1: wanted two days before? So your moss is looking to
Speaker 1: make a deal on a coffee fun Yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm worried about him. He's losing his touch. So is
Speaker 1: there any way we could just uh, just just just
Speaker 1: let him pretend like he's actually taking it or he
Speaker 1: likes being tough. You know, maybe you guys just come
Speaker 1: out with their hands up. You and I don't know
Speaker 1: that that that we actually bought it. I like to
Speaker 1: make deals on coffee funds. I'll tell you what I'll
Speaker 1: throw in as well. I got two berries. They'll swooping.
Speaker 1: It's like they're gonna try to ruin the whole thing
Speaker 1: for everybody. You and I'll know your boss, he don't
Speaker 1: know nothing. Oh oh, this is good, This is good.
Speaker 1: I I really appreciate everything. And these just regular old birds. Right,
Speaker 1: what do you how do you shore the regular birds?
Speaker 1: Don't worry about that part. Do you want a good
Speaker 1: deal right? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, we we want a good deal.
Speaker 1: Just so send a couple of regular birds around. We'll
Speaker 1: get the place. Saying no more, saying no more. I
Speaker 1: can't help but get this feeling that you did you
Speaker 1: put one over on me? What I want to see
Speaker 1: blood spill on these beans? Oh jeez. Oh, okay, sure sure, boss,
Speaker 1: bring me the farmer that owns this farm and I
Speaker 1: want him to want him to beg for my mercy.
Speaker 1: I'll be right back. Okay, I'll wait here. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can totally form. I actually got like a small co
Speaker 1: op right outside Brooklyn. Me and my buddies are running
Speaker 1: in like we got chickens and we're going mushrooms and
Speaker 1: eggs and we don't. Really, this is so much more difficult.
Speaker 1: You are such a nice guy. Yeah, I'll I totally.
Speaker 1: I'm down to help man anything to give back to
Speaker 1: Mother Nature rights so much, and it's just like anything
Speaker 1: to get away from my big corporations because it's like
Speaker 1: in general, it's like, why am I giving my money
Speaker 1: to the corporation? Why can't I give my money to
Speaker 1: a peopleation? Bro, Bro, smell, smell this fertilizer. Smell this fertilizer.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, smell. Oh is this you? And here?
Speaker 1: This is me? That's my ship. Start rubbing my neck.
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful bird. Yeah, that's gorgeous. I know, bird,
Speaker 1: I know I'm getting him. I'm getting him. I'm right. Hey,
Speaker 1: look I am I really appreciate what we said back
Speaker 1: there about corporations and everything. But I'm gonna need one
Speaker 1: of you to come with me one most morning, Penny.
Speaker 1: I'm headed out to the coffee farm today around now
Speaker 1: and trying to appreciate some sort of GPS assistance. Of
Speaker 1: course I can give you that exactly what you want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: put this in your ear. It will actually dislocate your earbone,
Speaker 1: so you actually lose your balance, but you'll go exactly
Speaker 1: where you want to go by GPS smashing. All right,
Speaker 1: and I'm after she am now money, Penny. Yes, why
Speaker 1: are you giving away all the inventions? That's what I do? Okay,
Speaker 1: you cannot just take my job, all right, very specific
Speaker 1: titles and jobs here. How do you understand? But I
Speaker 1: did understand you. Oh by the way I've replaced your
Speaker 1: I've replaced your morning milk with my actual milk just
Speaker 1: sitting here. My god tastes like copper. Yeah. This because
Speaker 1: I've been sucking pennies. Money, Penny, please now listen to me. Okay,
Speaker 1: I need this job. You don't understand. I don't have
Speaker 1: much to go to at home. This is my life.
Speaker 1: This is what I do. I make little inventions, little
Speaker 1: too dads and James gets the way and he thinks
Speaker 1: of me when he's out in the field, or it's
Speaker 1: a big deal, big deal for me. Please, please, if
Speaker 1: you really want your job back, if you really want
Speaker 1: it back, you'll rosembo with me right here and now
Speaker 1: on three or on three we'll go one to three
Speaker 1: and then throw. So actually three and then wait. If
Speaker 1: you want to argue about this, I can promise you'll
Speaker 1: never get your job back. Please, I don't want to
Speaker 1: take the chance. Ready one throw waw hold on, you
Speaker 1: didn't even get to three mony and you off. You're
Speaker 1: just giving me the finger. That's not one of the items.
Speaker 1: Billy it or not. You won this time. This tank
Speaker 1: all you want. So you've brought me the farm. Well,
Speaker 1: technically he's this is the fertilizer guy. That farmer was
Speaker 1: just he just punched my heart dead. Okay, well I'll
Speaker 1: let him. Yeah, that's it. He's already there. Knees fertilizer
Speaker 1: man again. You heard him. Get down on your sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: I've got I've got AirPods in jest on your knees.
Speaker 1: All right. I'm listening to the New Animal Collective. It's
Speaker 1: so good, so good, so good, so good. You know
Speaker 1: I actually, uh, I know somebody who dated the drummer.
Speaker 1: You do not seem frightened to terrified. You realize you're
Speaker 1: at the end of the rope. Ship string is about
Speaker 1: to be detached. Cue. I have a crush in about
Speaker 1: my new automobile. While I find it extremely attractive, I'm
Speaker 1: curious who I have been given the seventy nine Lincoln Continental. Well,
Speaker 1: it's my first car and I thought you should have it.
Speaker 1: I want to give you something that you can think
Speaker 1: of me when you're driving. I'll be thinking of you,
Speaker 1: all right. Normally it's stayre they are automobile. This just
Speaker 1: seems like a bit of a throwback, even for you. Yes,
Speaker 1: yes it is. But look at this. If you'll go
Speaker 1: inside the car, right in the driver's seat, if you
Speaker 1: pull this lever, the seat reclines when you say go
Speaker 1: and shot the car. You suggesting I'd defecate. Uh, but
Speaker 1: you can, James. Yes. In fact, there's towels in the
Speaker 1: back to white. So just make sure to remove the
Speaker 1: towels because it will the word I want to use
Speaker 1: this ferment. I know that's not correct, but that's that's
Speaker 1: what Terry cloves towel lovely choice and even more so
Speaker 1: if you go to the radio and you click on,
Speaker 1: it will turn on. Look at that when you could
Speaker 1: say click, you don't mean flick with my finger of cash. No,
Speaker 1: you know, but you could. You could again if you
Speaker 1: believe there's towels in the back terry cloth again, Yes, right,
Speaker 1: Mr Bannon. Yes, I wanted to speak with you and
Speaker 1: knows you've been having problems with the late you're getting
Speaker 1: confused about them. Yes, what's your point, money penny, it's
Speaker 1: not much of a point. I just thought I might
Speaker 1: be able to save you some proper troubles. And what's
Speaker 1: the word I'm looking for. It's the mischief, troubles and problems,
Speaker 1: probles and maybe able to save you some problems for
Speaker 1: the future. Fair enough. I mean when I say, like,
Speaker 1: would you please go to the other room? Actually pooped
Speaker 1: in the other arm, of course? Hap this beginning of
Speaker 1: going to the other room? Right sore? Perhaps in the
Speaker 1: future if you should, if you could travel to the
Speaker 1: other room, it would be helpful to me. So the
Speaker 1: rest of the world should be ben do your will,
Speaker 1: not the rest of the world. Just in the office
Speaker 1: share very good, very good, Mr. If you allowed to
Speaker 1: step out to have a cup of tea and you say,
Speaker 1: have a cup of tea. Do you suggested me make
Speaker 1: love to it? Then? See that's how you sound to me.
Speaker 1: That's how you used them to me. Mr. Thanks for
Speaker 1: the lack of confusion. That is what I meant. Uh yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: the coffee you gave me, Man, I think there's cocaine
Speaker 1: in here. I don't think this is sugar, all right.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell this is, but my
Speaker 1: fucking orders got cocaine in it. Um, it should just
Speaker 1: be we just crowded the beans in the hopper above
Speaker 1: the espresso mach. I don't know. Um, you don't, you
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just I just work here. What have
Speaker 1: you seen my cup of cocaine? Time I left the
Speaker 1: cup of cocaine? Oh yeah, can you tell that whoever
Speaker 1: the hell is in the back. Yeah, I have your
Speaker 1: fucking cocaine. Okay, look at cocaine. Yeah, man, listen, cocaine,
Speaker 1: guy listen. Okay. I take care of kids. I can't
Speaker 1: be high on blow taking care of kids, young brother.
Speaker 1: I talked from the kindergarten all the way to master's
Speaker 1: classes in college, as I ain't been so much since
Speaker 1: I was eight years old, my man, and now you're
Speaker 1: in the back room of some kind of coffee shot
Speaker 1: and things aren't going well my point. Confirm. Hey Steve, uh,
Speaker 1: you had a couple of questions on your report from earlier.
Speaker 1: It said you yelled to the back Hey cocaine guy.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this before, right, Look, when I make
Speaker 1: my reports, it's about my day to day stuff. Okay, inderstand,
Speaker 1: not my job, and I appreciate the dentail. It's just
Speaker 1: your choice of monikers that's thrown me a bit. Well, look,
Speaker 1: I don't know people's names. I don't care to learn them.
Speaker 1: I care to learn about something you've done. And that's
Speaker 1: so you specify. So so right now i'd be talking
Speaker 1: guy to you. Yes, yes, well no, no, that's that's
Speaker 1: not how it works here an outgoing mail guys. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks mail guy. Um let me really, well, that's who
Speaker 1: I am to you. Yeah, I was joking with Steve here.
Speaker 1: Everybody everyone's made that same joke today, right, Carl, But
Speaker 1: they really meant it, and I was just joke. My
Speaker 1: name is not Carl. Alright, So hand me the pistol.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna just kill one of these two
Speaker 1: fertilizer man. Oh Jesus, alright now if it's my time,
Speaker 1: it's my time. Bro. You guys really really seem like
Speaker 1: weirdly kind about this. I hate to do Hey, boys, like,
Speaker 1: I just got a text. I just got a text. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you're interested, maybe this will brighten your day and
Speaker 1: we won't have to kill anybody. It turns out to name.
Speaker 1: The name Cocaine Guy just became available. I mean, you've been,
Speaker 1: you've been, You've been in the market for a new name.
Speaker 1: It's it's available now. I had an alert set for
Speaker 1: when it would happen. You want you want me to
Speaker 1: pick it up for you that we don't have to?
Speaker 1: What are you doing talking to me about it? Now?
Speaker 1: Get it? Get it now? All right again, I'm really
Speaker 1: tired of all these coffee farms. Hi, welcome to the
Speaker 1: Company of Naming. You came into request a name, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm reading here. Representative was supposed to have all of
Speaker 1: this so straightened out before I he is there more paperwork? Sorry?
Speaker 1: I'm like sorry, I'm like boss, I'm sorry. I can
Speaker 1: I can literally because of a deficiency I have. I
Speaker 1: can literally deal with one person at a town who
Speaker 1: want to deal with me? If you're going to deal
Speaker 1: with somebody dealing, I have a ticket, just very good
Speaker 1: fun of you in life? What are you even doing? Well?
Speaker 1: I have a ticket from Adelhi and that makes me
Speaker 1: better and in line, So get right, let me go. Sorry, boss,
Speaker 1: I guess the deli guy wins. Thank you for working.
Speaker 1: So we'll just wait for next. The name I'm looking
Speaker 1: for his bond James Bond again. I can literally deal
Speaker 1: with one person at a time. I will break into
Speaker 1: a nap. If I have to deal with more than
Speaker 1: one person at a time, I will fall to my
Speaker 1: knees and gently line my head on a pillow. Who
Speaker 1: am I dealing with you? Is this where I get
Speaker 1: a name change? Is? This is why I can get
Speaker 1: a name change? This is where you can get a
Speaker 1: name change. Hi, what is your name now, sir? Hi?
Speaker 1: My name? Sir? Yes, sir, I don't see set sir.
Speaker 1: It's a man. Ma'am. I will accept that your new
Speaker 1: name is ma'am. Ma'am. Yes, who's next? Well? I mean
Speaker 1: I was next and you just you just help her?
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be helped. Oh yes, how can
Speaker 1: I help you? Ma'am? No? No, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: don't need to change my name. That's not what I
Speaker 1: wanted my name to be. Please what would you like
Speaker 1: your name to? Who are you helping? Are you helping me?
Speaker 1: Or are you helping her? Is going to get cocaine? Man?
Speaker 1: And that is sne Number one, Ladies and Jews. See
Speaker 1: two comes from us from Ed who wrote, Hello, Alchemist,
Speaker 1: I wish I could be a patron member, but with
Speaker 1: time being times being what they are, it cuts into
Speaker 1: the drinking budget at the moment that is meant to
Speaker 1: be funny. Speaking of which, my wife and I created
Speaker 1: a alchemy this drinking game. We pick one episode at
Speaker 1: random and at any time when Craig says look or
Speaker 1: James says, oh my god, we take a drink. So
Speaker 1: while we're getting our stomachs pumped. An idea for a
Speaker 1: scene hit me is socially awkward and unintentionally offensive. Guy
Speaker 1: goes to a how to pick up women workshop. Keep
Speaker 1: the laughs coming. You bring so much needed relief in
Speaker 1: a time where it is so hard to find something
Speaker 1: to laugh at. Ed Cartina's Cottage groove m m Michigan
Speaker 1: or let's go with Michigan Michigan. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: right though it's m n Minnesota. Minnesota mains no mains
Speaker 1: any I think it's Maine. Maine is m e Yeah,
Speaker 1: Minnesota's men. And this that's our show for today, disagreeing
Speaker 1: on dog. If you're listening, please cut all of that out. Um,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, I was sleeping during high school. That
Speaker 1: I mentioned that before. Uh, and I did graduate from
Speaker 1: college and nine months my friends called it dropping out.
Speaker 1: But there you have it. All right, let's go to
Speaker 1: the how to pick Up Women workshop? Okay, thank you
Speaker 1: everyone for coming into the said. Uh, sheets your right
Speaker 1: in front of you, so just feel free to grab
Speaker 1: any open sheet. Um, and there are drinks and small
Speaker 1: snacks over on the table here, please feel free to
Speaker 1: So just feel free to grab anything at any time.
Speaker 1: And um, we'll get right to it. So. UM. My
Speaker 1: name is Duncan Glober and uh, I am a I'm
Speaker 1: a I'm a lady guru. I know how to pick
Speaker 1: ladies up. I've been I've been dating for a long time.
Speaker 1: Uh and I'm here with girlfriend from the bag. Hey,
Speaker 1: how you doing. My name is Derek Lamom from hunts Ville, Alabama.
Speaker 1: How long have you have you been picking up women?
Speaker 1: According to my doctor, I got eight weeks to live.
Speaker 1: I need to pick up a woman and make I
Speaker 1: need to make very thorough loove to her before eight weeks.
Speaker 1: How long have you've been doing this? And now? Can
Speaker 1: your skills help me? Uh? Huh? You said your name
Speaker 1: was Jerry? Is that right? My name is less important
Speaker 1: right now? The need for eight weeks? Right, Well, I
Speaker 1: do want to connect with you. I do want to
Speaker 1: find that bridge, right because that's gonna be the best
Speaker 1: way for us to get there. So you know what,
Speaker 1: what I'm what I'm gonna offer you actually is I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna offer you which is gonna be available
Speaker 1: to everybody here. I'm gonna offer you a couple of
Speaker 1: days extra here, one on one consolation, and we don't
Speaker 1: have you. I don't have it. I have eight weeks.
Speaker 1: Every moment that you're telling me what you go off
Speaker 1: of me is a is a moment that I'm not
Speaker 1: deep inside of womb. Right Yeah, Okay, I definitely get that,
Speaker 1: and that's something like, you know, a part of the goal.
Speaker 1: But what I really want to say is that off hope.
Speaker 1: We got another question here? Yeah, go for it? Um,
Speaker 1: when do we get to neggingh yeah, yeah we will.
Speaker 1: We will definitely talk about that. That is that that
Speaker 1: is a very blood sharp tool. Can we get to that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: If we can't actually what I want to do? Uh?
Speaker 1: I re good question for the fellow who's only got
Speaker 1: eight weeks left? Yeah, I feel horrible. I'd like to
Speaker 1: offer up my fiance immediately, but I want to deserve it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. You know, they see if you
Speaker 1: give a man a fish, you'll eat food. Date. I
Speaker 1: don't want you to give me a fishined it fish?
Speaker 1: Can I just give you the address of where she's at?
Speaker 1: Why you win this workshop? If you have a fiance,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to date outside the situation for not having
Speaker 1: any luck? Fair enough? And why don't you stay out
Speaker 1: of it? About that? Okay? So um, you want to
Speaker 1: apply to make a wish for a prostitute? Do you
Speaker 1: want us to pay for a prostitute for you because
Speaker 1: you have five weeks to live? Is that? I now
Speaker 1: have a fool and a half. I went to a
Speaker 1: wake shop and the man he spent the first three
Speaker 1: weeks telling us what he was gonna do. I lost,
Speaker 1: I lost my patience and I happened to also lose
Speaker 1: a pocket handkerchief when I was there, which is unrelated
Speaker 1: and time. Don't mean to make light of that, but yes,
Speaker 1: uh definitely so. Um we normally don't do that. But
Speaker 1: what I can offer is, um, I got a doll
Speaker 1: in the back. I got a one of those real,
Speaker 1: real dolls. You know, I do know what you mean,
Speaker 1: you know what you know what I'm talking about. I
Speaker 1: do know what you're talking about. You know what I'm saying. Actually,
Speaker 1: let me explain it. So there's these dogs right that
Speaker 1: are some of the people. Once again, when people started
Speaker 1: explaining to me, I don't know if you've ever seen
Speaker 1: the bottle of water, but if you let it sit
Speaker 1: it will it will evaporate. You just evaporated time from
Speaker 1: my life by letting me sit here listening to Don't
Speaker 1: you curse me with that? Don't you say I did that?
Speaker 1: Were you chuck? We've used these dolls for so many
Speaker 1: make a wishes. Uh. We we can't keep up with
Speaker 1: the demand. These these dolls are are used up. We'll
Speaker 1: just use them again, all right, it's not ethical. You
Speaker 1: gotta we we gotta get more dolls in there in
Speaker 1: the budget. We can get more dolls in the budget. Look,
Speaker 1: we don't I don't have doll farms. Okay, we have
Speaker 1: to use what we have, all right, Yeah, I like
Speaker 1: to apply for a job here at the doll farm. Yes, um,
Speaker 1: did you? Um? Did you check in with the secretary ship.
Speaker 1: Let me get him, Lamar, Yes, would you take care
Speaker 1: of this gentleman. He wants to apply for a job
Speaker 1: here at the doll farm. Make him come back to
Speaker 1: my desk that he walked past. I'm sorry, Lamar, can't
Speaker 1: hear you say that again? I said, make him come
Speaker 1: back to my desk that he just walked. Do you
Speaker 1: do me a favor and just come in here and
Speaker 1: let me know what you're saying, and then I'll tell
Speaker 1: him to do that. I absolutely will not think right
Speaker 1: here at my desk and he's going to come right
Speaker 1: back out here to me. I'm just having a hard time.
Speaker 1: Let me come back to hold on, let me come
Speaker 1: back to Yes, Now, what were you saying? I couldn't
Speaker 1: hear what you were telling me to tell him to do?
Speaker 1: I want to I want him to come back. I
Speaker 1: want him to come back here to They just walked
Speaker 1: right past. That makes sense, But I'll go tell him.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'll be right back, Yes, sir, Yes, Lamar.
Speaker 1: The secretary said you need to come back to the
Speaker 1: desk that you just walked past. Where here which desk is? Lamar?
Speaker 1: He's hold on? Just would you just come with me
Speaker 1: and I'll just take you there. But before we do that,
Speaker 1: I need to stop by. I need to stop by
Speaker 1: my manicurist. Well, Mr Lamar, I'm I'm sure that no
Speaker 1: one's ever told me something like that on a first date. Before,
Speaker 1: my goodness, forty eight hours, eight hours to not only
Speaker 1: to make love, but to give love and until what happens,
Speaker 1: Mr Lamar, I'll die. Oh, I just I just don't
Speaker 1: know if this is something that I want. All right,
Speaker 1: everybody calm down, alright, everyone calmed down. There has been
Speaker 1: a chemical leak inside this building. I'm gonna get everyone
Speaker 1: to self quarantine. Okay. I'm gonna have to have everyone
Speaker 1: separate and you're gonna be in different chambers alone for
Speaker 1: forty nine hours. Okay, Oh my goodness, Mr Lamar, I
Speaker 1: suppose this is where we part ways. I always knew it.
Speaker 1: Within this week my father told me on his death
Speaker 1: Beard Son, You're gonna die in isolation without making love Okay,
Speaker 1: let's separate everybody. Come on, let's get everyone separated. Excuse me, sir,
Speaker 1: excuse me, sir? Yes, would it be all right if
Speaker 1: the two of us warantined together? Two of you quarantine together, Well,
Speaker 1: that might be breaching protocol, but I can see a
Speaker 1: lot of love in your eyes, ma'am. May I also
Speaker 1: ask a question. There's a gas leaking here, but somehow
Speaker 1: we're going to be saved by see that's right, Yes,
Speaker 1: that's correct. You know what for safety precautions? Ma'am? I
Speaker 1: need you quarantine with me, sir? Need you quarantine as
Speaker 1: your middle name? You want to know my middle name?
Speaker 1: Your middle name? My middle name is Gerbil David Gerbil
Speaker 1: john Stone. That's correct, the son of Harry Gerbil john Stone,
Speaker 1: my doctor. Yeah, that's my father. What's a doctor? What
Speaker 1: does that have to do with? Your father? Told me
Speaker 1: that I had fody eight your father, your daddy? If
Speaker 1: he pulled then, my god, you keep on breaking out?
Speaker 1: Are you saying something I don't I'm seeing you everas
Speaker 1: the office of Harry Gerbil Johnston, m d. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: why don't you ask about penal implants? Okay, we do them? Yeah,
Speaker 1: how soon can you get down here. I'm probably only
Speaker 1: about three days away by driving. Okay, I'll put you
Speaker 1: on the schedule because I got one that's just ready
Speaker 1: to go. It's ready to load, right, So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: need about three days to get this. So is there
Speaker 1: a size choice? Is it like a map some sort
Speaker 1: of Uh, it's one size fits all. Hit me and
Speaker 1: this doe, Mr Doctor, let me in this doe. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I gotta hang up. He's me. Well, what a pleasant surprise.
Speaker 1: It's me with me Alabama. I remember you. You gave
Speaker 1: me how lone to live? Do you in them? Well? When? When?
Speaker 1: When are we talking about? That's the whole point. I've
Speaker 1: been out vigorously trying to make louve to a woman,
Speaker 1: thinking that I had a short time to leave, and
Speaker 1: right before I was about to make louve to a woman,
Speaker 1: your son shoot up. Yes, I'm starting to think that
Speaker 1: I didn't really only have that loan to leave. Well,
Speaker 1: you've got probably fifteen minutes now, so I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but I trust everything you say. Doctor. I'll go out
Speaker 1: and make louve in the next fifteen minutes. Okay, just
Speaker 1: try to avoid gas leaks and if there is a
Speaker 1: gas leak. Then separate from other people. You have a
Speaker 1: greater chance of surviving if you are just breathing a
Speaker 1: gas by yourself. Thank you? All right? Can I give
Speaker 1: you a peno implant to go? Okay? All right, hello, yeah,
Speaker 1: is teeth there? Look I've been getting these calls all
Speaker 1: fucking weak. Okay, what we just just get the hell
Speaker 1: off my goddamn line. You're clogging on my business line. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not teeth. I'll talk to up hello. Okay, all right, okay,
Speaker 1: so this is this is an online thing. Everyone's online
Speaker 1: doing this. I'm trying to just talking for teeth. You're
Speaker 1: just looking for teeth. Well, they're in your fucking head. Alright, asshole?
Speaker 1: Why are you being mean to me? I have two
Speaker 1: minutes to live. You have two minutes. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: teen minutes to live. I have two minutes to live.
Speaker 1: It runs in my family was going on. I'm so sorry, sir,
Speaker 1: I didn't know I was expecting to call. How are you?
Speaker 1: I do have teeth? Yes, we have teeth. Here we
Speaker 1: have we do teeth implants, Yes, sir, up I was
Speaker 1: looking for I was looking for a guy named teeth. Okay,
Speaker 1: go fund yourself I see what you're doing. Hello, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is teeth. Can I get my messages? What any
Speaker 1: messages for teeth? Your mother? Just really teeth, piece of ship.
Speaker 1: That's Dr Teeth to you. Hey, Dr Teeth Man. I
Speaker 1: was watching that prank show that you've been putting on people.
Speaker 1: When you've been pinting seeing people your own phone numbers,
Speaker 1: people call somebody else and ask for you. Hey, doctor,
Speaker 1: that's brilliant what you've been doing. Man, Hey, it's a
Speaker 1: pleasure always to get a compliment. My friend he talked,
Speaker 1: by the way, my father has ten minutes to live.
Speaker 1: Instead of pranking him, would you mind getting to going
Speaker 1: down on my dad? It would be a pleasure and
Speaker 1: an honor, sir, that would be seen to today. Oh my,
Speaker 1: oh my, things are heating up and cooking with gas.
Speaker 1: Christ Holy Toledo. Don't let the hands in company to
Speaker 1: get ahold of that. The Electric Man Gang picture I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say yes yes. Scene three comes to us today
Speaker 1: from Philip, who wrote, Hey, out this A bunch of
Speaker 1: weird ideas piled up while re listening the to the
Speaker 1: episodes once again, So I got inspired A scene for you.
Speaker 1: A well known DJ forgets their USB stick and only
Speaker 1: realizes once he's about to start playing. Have fun and
Speaker 1: keep it up, Philip, You're gonna love it. This place
Speaker 1: is the ship man. They got everything they got. They got,
Speaker 1: they got lights, man, they got they got drinks they
Speaker 1: got It's like dj J Electric Fire being the eyes
Speaker 1: of the devil. Man he's talking, it's just when he drops.
Speaker 1: Last time we tried to go club and to get
Speaker 1: me had to sit outside the whole night. I know.
Speaker 1: Do that fucking suck? Dude? Well, this time we brought pants,
Speaker 1: so we're good. Man. Where do you? Where do you too?
Speaker 1: Thank you're going. We're just trying to Yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: you see your right days. I want to say your
Speaker 1: right days. Here's what here you go? All right? All right?
Speaker 1: You both got pants on? No, yeah, I remember you
Speaker 1: do from last time. I remember you from last time
Speaker 1: you showed up, but you didn't have pants on. Now
Speaker 1: you got pants on. You know what that proves to me.
Speaker 1: That proves to me that you are gentleman who know
Speaker 1: how to learn something. I'm gonna move this velvet rope
Speaker 1: out the way. You boys have a wonderful night. This
Speaker 1: place is solid at the bouncers from Australia. Man, look
Speaker 1: at all these las do. This is shit, man. You
Speaker 1: know DJ you ready, man, you're ready to get out
Speaker 1: there and do this thing for these people. I'm on fire,
Speaker 1: all right. Hey, look there's two dudes out there. They've
Speaker 1: been here. I've been watching. I've been watching the audience. Man,
Speaker 1: they've been here every week. And these guys need the
Speaker 1: best show of their lives. They need the best guys
Speaker 1: who deserve it. Look, I'm gonna go out there. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna introduce you to the Crown. I'm gonna put your
Speaker 1: Dr Pepper beside you, beside your computer like you like it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get hit in the ear again
Speaker 1: because I didn't get your Dr Pepper. I want you
Speaker 1: to go out there and if this, if this room
Speaker 1: had an a hole, I want you to rip it
Speaker 1: a new one. Good luck. So don't pay any attention
Speaker 1: to the existing one, right right, just but then it
Speaker 1: has that's but then it has seven eight holes, right right?
Speaker 1: It still needs one more a hole to be the
Speaker 1: most successful room. It could be a baker's wife, doesn't
Speaker 1: a baker what you say? A baker who watched doesn't Hey, yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: I bake your life to Yeah, of course, good luck
Speaker 1: to you at that, buddy, Thank you, thank you, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: put your hands together. Oh dude, this is it. This
Speaker 1: is it. Man who's reading the party? Ready to wait
Speaker 1: for the drop? Wait for the drop, wait for it?
Speaker 1: Sh shut up because you lost some sets of drops.
Speaker 1: Was ready to everybody? Seems everyone seems ready to party.
Speaker 1: I need to see about his hands in the air.
Speaker 1: Everybody's hands in the air. But his hands in the air.
Speaker 1: But his hands in the air. Oh luke, I got
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. We're going to take a quick four
Speaker 1: minute break, and then DJ Electric Fee's gonna rip the
Speaker 1: roof off his mother as he tears it a new
Speaker 1: a hole at the same time. Four dead air for
Speaker 1: a club? Are you still using the urinal? Or uh?
Speaker 1: It's just about done? Okay, do you mind if I
Speaker 1: just sneak in real quick. I just gotta do a
Speaker 1: quick pee, just so you all know. There's six other
Speaker 1: urinals on the wall too. But do you thank you?
Speaker 1: Thanks Kenny? Yeah, you know what? Guys slipping here. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be a hug. No, thanks, dude. Where's
Speaker 1: the rest of you? Where's the rest of your penis? Oh?
Speaker 1: I I'm a picker, right, so just just the head left, yeah,
Speaker 1: I pick out it right, yeah? Yo, Electric Fee? Man?
Speaker 1: You uh, I've never had to put the club on
Speaker 1: a commercial break before, right right? Well, here's what I
Speaker 1: don't want to cuss. I'm gonna ask you w t
Speaker 1: F is going on here? I appreciate that very much.
Speaker 1: This never happened me before, and I'm not sure what
Speaker 1: to do about it. I seem to have left my
Speaker 1: USB stick at home. Do you leave the stick? You
Speaker 1: leave the stick? Do you understand, Electric Fee? All the music,
Speaker 1: all the music is on that stick. You don't got
Speaker 1: a spare stick, do you? And it's just like every night,
Speaker 1: every night he just goes to the club and he's
Speaker 1: just out there partying, and like, are you doing whatever
Speaker 1: the hell he's going? You know what you should do?
Speaker 1: You know what you should do. You should take that
Speaker 1: damn little USB stick that he keeps all this music on,
Speaker 1: and you should fucking hide it. You should fucking hide it,
Speaker 1: and you tell him, right, hide it, don't tell him.
Speaker 1: And then when he finally figures out that you're the
Speaker 1: one that hit it, then you can say yes, because
Speaker 1: now it's time for us to sit down and have
Speaker 1: a conversation exactly, exactly exactly. It's like, why are we talking? Like,
Speaker 1: why does that have to be because I'm hiding his
Speaker 1: music that we're having a conversation. Why can't it be
Speaker 1: we're talking because we want to talk? Yes, so talk
Speaker 1: with him. Give me the stick. Where do you want
Speaker 1: to put it? I don't know. Don't tell me. Don't
Speaker 1: tell me where you hide it. Just hide it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna hide a sword fight in the men's room.
Speaker 1: I've been practicing fencing. Guys. Mind if I slip into
Speaker 1: this urinal? Yeah, alright, alright, A teeny tiny here we go. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: how you doing the new plumber? Here? I have just
Speaker 1: um tearing on this wall. In three seconds. This twenty
Speaker 1: eight more urinals right on the other side of this
Speaker 1: wall right here. Just let it's amazing. Thanks. That's a
Speaker 1: farmer's wife's bakers, doesn't farmer? Hey man? Uh that's uh.
Speaker 1: That's some fine looking penis threads you got there. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's my wife made this just like a little Jane
Speaker 1: jacket for your weener. That's nice. It's it's a it's
Speaker 1: a denim jack. Yet, do you think we could play
Speaker 1: some other music while we wait for the d J.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is a kid. Look, he said he's
Speaker 1: gonna be out He's gonna be out here later on. Alright,
Speaker 1: he'll be out here soon. The drugs are wearing off. Look,
Speaker 1: if you need drugs, I know, I know a guy
Speaker 1: with a cup of cocaine that can take care of
Speaker 1: you if you need it. But borring that, just hang
Speaker 1: out here for a while, all right, okay, Electric Feed. Look,
Speaker 1: you go to your house and you get this thing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out there. I'm gonna try to whistle
Speaker 1: for these people. Maybe that's gonna thanks you. Give you
Speaker 1: a little break. How long do you think before you
Speaker 1: back here? Seventeen minutes? It very good? Okay, okay it
Speaker 1: you'll never know where I hit it. It's gone. I'll
Speaker 1: ever see it. Did you eat it? Tell me if
Speaker 1: you canna tell you? If I fucking ate it, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna okay where it is, I'll cut your stomach
Speaker 1: open together. God, okay, I'm out by. I love you.
Speaker 1: I love you, Oh my god, I guess I should
Speaker 1: have another martini later. Get Randy DJ. I elect to feed.
Speaker 1: Going to be back in sixty minutes. But until then
Speaker 1: we got pardon, what the fuck? Sorry? If you don't
Speaker 1: like what's going on here, there's a sorry fight in
Speaker 1: the bedroom. You may want to go joy for a
Speaker 1: little bit, sort from the bedroom. That's room. I'm hearing bedroom.
Speaker 1: Is anyone else in bedroom? I heard bedroom, and I'm
Speaker 1: already there. To make your coming, I'm going to the
Speaker 1: men's room. Oh no, you want to go to the
Speaker 1: men's room. We know to rose in the men's room.
Speaker 1: No trousers, all right? Fine, And I suppose that there's
Speaker 1: a cover charge for me to check my trousers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a cover of charge. It's five dollars. Use one
Speaker 1: of the cubby holes. Just put the money in the
Speaker 1: cubby hole on the left, so I put your trousers
Speaker 1: on the right. Okay, where do I put this child
Speaker 1: latte full of cocaine on the top of the copies? Okay?
Speaker 1: There's a gosh screaming about it in the back. All right, right,
Speaker 1: getting that, and you have a right guy? Hey, new guy,
Speaker 1: do you want to cut in? Uh? I was gonna
Speaker 1: use one of these other urinals. Yeah, sure, fine, that's
Speaker 1: cool if that's what you want to do. Freak, freak,
Speaker 1: I'm having a stored fight down here too. Don't join them,
Speaker 1: come on what it wants to join my story fight.
Speaker 1: You can't have a one man's sword fight. That's exactly
Speaker 1: what ethan. Uh well, yeah, I know, we're on a
Speaker 1: little break right now at the club, and we're waiting
Speaker 1: on a d electric feet to to come back and
Speaker 1: all that. But I thought, maybe, you know, in the interim,
Speaker 1: I could I could jump in and maybe spend some
Speaker 1: some of the records I've been working on, some of
Speaker 1: the music I've been sending you. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you had a chance to listen to it, but I'm
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm happy to go on two minutes, three minutes,
Speaker 1: just just to keep it going. The man just about
Speaker 1: Here's here's what I'm willing to do. I was about
Speaker 1: to go out there and whistle until he makes his
Speaker 1: way back. I was about me and you combine talents
Speaker 1: on this thing. You spend your thing while I whistle.
Speaker 1: Uh well, it might be too loud to hear the whistle.
Speaker 1: I'm I don't want it to drown you out down
Speaker 1: in the power of my whistle. No, let's just do
Speaker 1: this thing quick, let's do it. I got some I
Speaker 1: have some appellation music surprised me. This is the club
Speaker 1: trying to get ready for something. Hey everybody, um, oh,
Speaker 1: hey DJ she's right inside and she's very interested in
Speaker 1: talking to you. Bye. Yeah, hey baby, Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Is the club out yet? Is it? Is it done?
Speaker 1: It's only eleven? I can't find my USB stick, So
Speaker 1: if you could help me? Can you find your Why?
Speaker 1: Is that weird? Can you find your No? No, I
Speaker 1: need you to tell me where it is. What do
Speaker 1: you mean you can't find your wife? You get you?
Speaker 1: I'm right here. What do you mean? Can you find me? Why?
Speaker 1: All these stupid questions? Just help me find the USB
Speaker 1: Driveingney is a stupid question? Is a stupid question? Can
Speaker 1: you find your wife? Can you find your wife? Let
Speaker 1: me see? Yeah, sure, she's right here in front of me,
Speaker 1: being a wonderful person. Yeah, damn, Mardy. What if I
Speaker 1: turned into a rock and I went to the middle
Speaker 1: of the desert. Could you find me? Then? Let's find out?
Speaker 1: Let's do that now. Oh great, let's do that now.
Speaker 1: Let's just DG. Electric Feed is looking for his wife
Speaker 1: right now in the desert. Apparently she's turned herself somehow
Speaker 1: into an igneous rock. Let's watch and see what happened. Honey, honey,
Speaker 1: a name, Helly, helly, just money. I can hear you're
Speaker 1: getting louder sucked us, honey Ethan, that was great. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're whistling crushed and people loved it. This
Speaker 1: is amazing. I did. I didn't think it would go
Speaker 1: with your appelation jam, but it really did. Electric feed.
Speaker 1: We want more applachan whistling, more wistling or westling. I'm
Speaker 1: on cocaine. Just just give us, give us two more minutes.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna loosen up the old lips and uh, he's
Speaker 1: gonna oil up his records or whatever he does, and
Speaker 1: we'll be we'll be right back on stage with you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your tongue it's split. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: so dry. You're not gonna be able to whistle anymore. No, no,
Speaker 1: it's always been split. I have what they called the
Speaker 1: devil's tongue. Oh my god, oh my god, yes, by
Speaker 1: bifurcated tongue. Um, I never heard that word before you
Speaker 1: You never heard bifurcated no tongue. But but but you haven't
Speaker 1: naturally split tongue. Yes, I've never heard the word tongue.
Speaker 1: Oh tongue, Yeah, yes, Hello, um, I appreciate you thinking
Speaker 1: me on such short nerve, but I'm here for my
Speaker 1: surgery and i'd like to finally get this tongue into
Speaker 1: proper shape. It's a little embarrassing. Well, let's get your prepped,
Speaker 1: all right. Let me take a look and see what
Speaker 1: you got in there. Oh, that is prototypical devil's tongue,
Speaker 1: man like dr teeth. Don't forget about your twelve thirty alright,
Speaker 1: Nurse Jennis, I'll get a right to it. Tell me
Speaker 1: before we get started. You know, if Nurse Jennie still
Speaker 1: has her soul, No, she gave up her soul a
Speaker 1: long time ago for rocket roll. My bad, my bad,
Speaker 1: late to the parties. Don't want to dance? All right,
Speaker 1: Look I can pitch you in. I gotta see somebody
Speaker 1: who's been picked at their penis down to the tip.
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds like someone who still has her soul.
Speaker 1: I suppose it is. Yeah, so I've been picking up
Speaker 1: my pp and strangely it's just the tip that stays.
Speaker 1: You think that would be the first handsome fellow. Would
Speaker 1: you like the rest of that penis to be six
Speaker 1: ft long? Um yeah, why not sign here? Okay? This
Speaker 1: is a giant contract. Um I hereby Okay, Well, so
Speaker 1: it kind of breaks up in English and Latin. Is there?
Speaker 1: Just like a full English? You can initial that part
Speaker 1: I need? You would signed last pace initial that part there? Okay,
Speaker 1: so all the pages that are tabbed, I initial. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's gonna take a minute. Let's see here. Okay, I
Speaker 1: give up my right to wear dogs? Is that what
Speaker 1: that says? Dogs? Yeah? Okay? Whatever? Yeah, sure I never did. Okay, Lucifer, Lucifer,
Speaker 1: you have been in this contract making class for three weeks.
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna have to decide what language you want
Speaker 1: your contracts in. It's gonna take people longer to sign
Speaker 1: of contracts if you use a mixture of English, Latin,
Speaker 1: and Sanskrit. Choose one. That's right. Thank you very much
Speaker 1: for saying that. Uh And again, you know we're the
Speaker 1: seminar is gonna be a couple of weeks long, we're
Speaker 1: all saying at the Best Western. Uh. So you do
Speaker 1: have drinks and snacks over there for that, so you
Speaker 1: know again, you're writing a contract is a lot like
Speaker 1: picking up a woman. Right, you want to be very
Speaker 1: clear when all right, we'll get to that in a second.
Speaker 1: All right, but I do appreciate everyone jumping in and
Speaker 1: helping each other. Thank you very much, Gabriella's I might
Speaker 1: saying that correctly. Okay, great, I wasn't Mane. I was
Speaker 1: talking to the other gentleman who was helping out Lucifer.
Speaker 1: But my name is not really Carl. I just go
Speaker 1: by that to help my boss out. Hey, bus bus
Speaker 1: great news, Great news. The name Carroll is suddenly available. Wait,
Speaker 1: what was that? The name coral? We could get you
Speaker 1: the name better than it's Carl, better than cocaine guy.
Speaker 1: I think so. I think so. It's at least it's
Speaker 1: way less assuming crow, not bro. If you can assassinate us,
Speaker 1: just let us know, because I got a combucha starter
Speaker 1: that needs tending. To know. This new Caral name makes
Speaker 1: me feel like I don't have to kill so many people. Hey, really,
Speaker 1: that's great. Moves. Cocaine guy, coffee guy. Those are murderous names. Carl,
Speaker 1: Carl might let you go today today in Minnesota or Maine,
Speaker 1: We're not quite sure. A guy named Carl killed five
Speaker 1: eights of the city. There's no explanation to why he
Speaker 1: did it. He merely stood atop a building and screened,
Speaker 1: I am Carl, will be all right back with this
Speaker 1: and more DJL electric feed all right after this, right
Speaker 1: and we are going live in three three to wait
Speaker 1: a minute. Hold, you're coming backwards. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you're counting forwards or backwards. And then the tip you
Speaker 1: know how that guy picked it down from the tip,
Speaker 1: but he left the ship. I just just just say
Speaker 1: the same thing you said, Just say the same you said,
Speaker 1: which one, which one? Which one? To say? The health
Speaker 1: you think it's on the proplem uh more news on
Speaker 1: the Carl thing. I don't have anything new to add,
Speaker 1: but I would just like to you know, they didn't
Speaker 1: just say what you said before. They don't know about that.
Speaker 1: They don't know what happened. We're live now, we're live,
Speaker 1: they don't know what happened. I'll just say the same
Speaker 1: I'll say the same thing, but I'll jazz it up
Speaker 1: a little. You know what you know they say, uh
Speaker 1: l rack spell backwards is Carl? And boy, was there
Speaker 1: one a hell of a killing today in Minnesota are Maine.
Speaker 1: When a guy named Carl stood on top of a
Speaker 1: build again for apparently no reason at all. Open. Well
Speaker 1: they are right back with this and more electric feter right? Right? Uh? Yeah, Gary?
Speaker 1: What am I looking at here? Well? This is a
Speaker 1: drawing of me on a boat, and then right next
Speaker 1: to it is a drawing of you and I on
Speaker 1: a boat? Right? And um so why why have you
Speaker 1: drawn you and I in the boat? Just? Uh? Anyway,
Speaker 1: the ratings are garry. Have you've been going to that
Speaker 1: class again? Yeah, I've been. I've trying to pick up
Speaker 1: women in right context? Are you negging me right now?
Speaker 1: A little bit? Uh? I do think you're a piece
Speaker 1: of ship. Right, But you want to be in a
Speaker 1: boat with me? If you want to go on a boat? Right?
Speaker 1: Is there about or is this just a boat? I
Speaker 1: mean a boat is anything on water? Yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of boats. Gare okay, talk to me. I'm here
Speaker 1: for you. Do you want you and I to be
Speaker 1: on a boat? And if so, what time are we leaving?
Speaker 1: Imagine yourself we are lighting whenever you want? Yes, I do, Yes,
Speaker 1: I would love to be on a boat with you. Yes.
Speaker 1: Do you not like working here? Real estate? I? How
Speaker 1: do I answer this? I I like working here? Right,
Speaker 1: It's it's the clientele and the job I don't like.
Speaker 1: Okay does that make sense? It does? Yeah, you like
Speaker 1: working here, being around, being around me? Right, It's uh,
Speaker 1: it's a male guy. Man. I changed my name to
Speaker 1: Carl for your Fox. How is that name of vail
Speaker 1: of them? Like? I just got in there early? Okay?
Speaker 1: And no, I'm not the Carl who went out a
Speaker 1: shooting spree in Minnesota is possibly Maine. Okay, I'm not
Speaker 1: that Carl. Yeah right, I don't have any an email,
Speaker 1: and if I did, Carl, I think I would just
Speaker 1: you know, put it in the outgoing box. This just
Speaker 1: in all Carl's are now considered a likely suspect in
Speaker 1: the shooting in either Minnesota or Maine. We'll be all
Speaker 1: right back right after this important word from Igneous Rocks.
Speaker 1: Igneous Rocks. Are you someone who likes to pick up rocks?
Speaker 1: But I'm sure if the rock you're picking up is this,
Speaker 1: you need to buy one of these rocks now Here.
Speaker 1: At Igneous Rocks, we make sure that every single rock
Speaker 1: is farmed and sourced ethically. Our rocks come from the
Speaker 1: earth and are given back to it after you die.
Speaker 1: By buying one of these rocks, you sign a lifetime
Speaker 1: contract to care for your rock and the offspring upset Rock.
Speaker 1: Please join us for our weekly prayer at ignis rock
Speaker 1: dot com. That was great when you first said ignorance.
Speaker 1: That's actually the second time you said it. I think
Speaker 1: you had what we call just a tongue stroke, just
Speaker 1: a stroke of the tongue, like everything else is fine.
Speaker 1: It was a lie. So I'm here. You had a
Speaker 1: tongue stroke. Yeah, I don't know what happened to just
Speaker 1: stopped on me and I don't know if there's a
Speaker 1: blood cloud in my tongue or well that's usually the cause.
Speaker 1: But let's get in there. Take a look blood cloud. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a little man on your tongue yelling blood cloud.
Speaker 1: That is our show for today. All right, let's thank
Speaker 1: all of our alchemists. Uh, and no particular orders, starting
Speaker 1: with Mr James Heeney. James, you're gonna be missing you
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks. You'renna be out there in
Speaker 1: the open road. Yeah, it's I I should be here
Speaker 1: next week and then after that I'll be no, no,
Speaker 1: you're gone next week. Also, just letting me know, you
Speaker 1: see that, because afterwards it's like two or three weeks. Okay,
Speaker 1: so my bad. It's just that you've been threatening to
Speaker 1: leave for like a month now, and it's been crazy.
Speaker 1: I've been ready to leave for about a month. No,
Speaker 1: I see. And when you once you do leave, will
Speaker 1: you let everyone know? Please? Okay, good, thanks for being here, Gary,
Speaker 1: Anthony Williams, thank you so damn much. I gotta get
Speaker 1: out of this open road, man, I gotta get out there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you and your family. Everyone's doing okay, everybody's all right.
Speaker 1: You know, I invested heavily in COVID, so I'm doing
Speaker 1: pretty well. Yeah you are. Thank you so very much
Speaker 1: for joining us today. And uh, please come back a sap.
Speaker 1: I all right, and Mark Gagley already great to see
Speaker 1: you again, is always dear friend. Man. Are there threats
Speaker 1: of heading back to work? There are there are threats.
Speaker 1: Most recent I heard was we're almost there. Guys were
Speaker 1: on the one yard line. We're almost there. But that
Speaker 1: you know, we've been hearing that for a little while.
Speaker 1: But hopefully back to work soon. Yeah, it'll shoot. In
Speaker 1: Europe they just want to allow Americans in. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So I can't wait to see what Italian guy they
Speaker 1: get to. I'm going to wind up looping later. Uh,
Speaker 1: Craig Kikowski, you'll be tagging out with Carly here for
Speaker 1: the second episode record. We appreciate you being with us here.
Speaker 1: I can't tell from the backdrop. Are you're still in
Speaker 1: the in one of the Carolinas. I'm in one of
Speaker 1: the Carolinas southeast West, your guests. Nobody's staying the funk
Speaker 1: here until there's a reason to be back in l A.
Speaker 1: All right, fair enough, and thank you as always my
Speaker 1: dear friend, my pleasure, Joey Grierman. Yes, uh, thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1: Anything you want to hit people too, that's coming up
Speaker 1: in your world of create ptivity. Uh, don't check out
Speaker 1: bear supply on Twitch Western Comedy Theaters Twitch. We're doing
Speaker 1: some weird shit. Check that out. Appreciate that very much,
Speaker 1: and please calm the funk down. All right, Let's thank
Speaker 1: our producer and engineer to the stars, Mr Doug Baine,
Speaker 1: and the fine folks that I heart media. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Kevin Polya Germand, and you please wear a mask every
Speaker 1: time you leave your home, you sons of bitches. Uh,
Speaker 1: and stay healthy and safe until next time. But I
Speaker 1: could