Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode. Alchemy is coming nineteen edition.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, guest that Kevin po Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. Just leave it on the you know, you
Speaker 1: stay there, you know what, you stay there and I'll
Speaker 1: come get it. No, no, no better skill. Give it
Speaker 1: to Joey Queer and let him just keep it. But
Speaker 1: I digress. Let's meet Rock Shall and no particular order.
Speaker 1: Say you lot to Chris Albarado, Mr Albaron and real
Speaker 1: ever been fishing? No, no, no, no no. I had
Speaker 1: a rocky childhood, so fishing was out of the question. Yep.
Speaker 1: And by rocky, I know what rock you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Look out there, it's Carla Katkowski. What's the last thing
Speaker 1: you cooked outdoors? Oh? Gosh nothing. I've never used a
Speaker 1: barbecue in my life, all right, but I've eaten a
Speaker 1: lot outdoors. Yeah you have. That was my fall up.
Speaker 1: So thank you. Hey, James Heeney is in the house.
Speaker 1: Heen comea the what's your least favorite part about going
Speaker 1: to the beach? Um? I don't like, uh, the idea
Speaker 1: when I get into the water. If I'm at the
Speaker 1: beach and getting in the water and I know too
Speaker 1: many people that have gotten hit by sting rays. So
Speaker 1: as I get in, I shuffle my feet. I it's
Speaker 1: just terrifying to me. Now, hit by sting rays in
Speaker 1: California State beaches. Are you kidding? I know too, I'm
Speaker 1: not kidding. Got it within two months, my wife got it,
Speaker 1: got stun, got stune. We're not talking jellyfish, We're talking stingray.
Speaker 1: I'm talking sting rays. If you have just hiding and
Speaker 1: waiting to get you, do they have a little blowguns.
Speaker 1: In James's defense, the California State beach is uh, ask
Speaker 1: you to do the sting ray shuffle, which is what
Speaker 1: I do, which is when you walk to your feet
Speaker 1: like this, shuffling across the sand. My wife got stung
Speaker 1: by a stingray. She was way past where you would
Speaker 1: even have your feet in the ground, and it like
Speaker 1: got her when she wasn't standing on the ground. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think you're being singled up by stingrays and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take it up with my local as Semberment. Hey,
Speaker 1: everybody's Mark Gagliardi. Hi on your mark. When we're allowed back.
Speaker 1: What's the first thing you'll do with Disneyland? I the
Speaker 1: first thing I'm gonna do with Disneyland is I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go very far into the park. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go immediately in the park. I gonna make a
Speaker 1: right and I'm gonna go to great moments with Mr
Speaker 1: Lincoln and I'm gonna sit in the front row and
Speaker 1: he's not going to be wearing a mask, and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna be wearing a mask. And when he does
Speaker 1: the Gettysburg address, I'm gonna get his animatronic spit all
Speaker 1: over me and his droplets going to care his sweet
Speaker 1: sweet robotic droplets. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they're they're being fascist
Speaker 1: about masks wearing in the few parks that have opened.
Speaker 1: They're literally as scorting people out who aren't wearing a mask.
Speaker 1: F y I anyways, Uh, last, but soaking his upper
Speaker 1: lip perspiration if you think him least, it's Joey Greer
Speaker 1: never new enough. Why do I think you, of all people,
Speaker 1: must have streaked at some point? You're not wrong, But
Speaker 1: it was never in like public places. It would be
Speaker 1: at my me and my house. I don't know, is
Speaker 1: this uh obvious? His history rewrites to protect oneself from
Speaker 1: subpoena's no, no, no, from some peenies. No I did.
Speaker 1: I would poop and pea naked. I have to strip
Speaker 1: fully new to do it, and at that ended until
Speaker 1: I was well, I still do it. But that's that's
Speaker 1: pretty much. That was my ama, and there was an
Speaker 1: open toilet in my home. So you just thankfully we've
Speaker 1: driven seventeen miles past the question, and I thank you
Speaker 1: for all your input. All right, let's do it, damn
Speaker 1: show almost all of our scene suggestions to gather from
Speaker 1: your listener emails. If you'd like to submit one, please do.
Speaker 1: I'd love to read them and reply simply right or
Speaker 1: type two. Yeah, don't write please, don't write to us.
Speaker 1: Type to your name here at alchemist dot com. That's
Speaker 1: typing your name here. Seen one comes to Patroon v
Speaker 1: I P. Lance, who wrote, Hi, y'all. I have been
Speaker 1: listening since show number one, and I've loved it from
Speaker 1: the start. I swear about halfway through my commute to
Speaker 1: d C, I will grow tired of some news podcast
Speaker 1: or some unsolved murder podcast and just scroll through to
Speaker 1: find an old Alchemy this episode and enjoy the rest
Speaker 1: of the trip much much more. I love it so
Speaker 1: much that when the Patroon v I p option came up.
Speaker 1: I took the plunges. I was totally and totally want
Speaker 1: this show to continue. Hell as others have done. I've
Speaker 1: even dug up my old Apple iTunes and fols so
Speaker 1: I can write a review. Jesus, Lance is apparently running
Speaker 1: for best best Member audience member ever. I don't mean
Speaker 1: to interrupt Kevin, but let me just say we are
Speaker 1: three d and fifty up on reviews in the past
Speaker 1: thirty days. It's incredible. I think you just told people
Speaker 1: to back off and stop writing reviews. We don't have
Speaker 1: any reviews. We need more reviews. We need more reviews.
Speaker 1: So it's next week you go on the road. Two
Speaker 1: weeks Okay, sorry sorry? Uh he goes on. I love
Speaker 1: all the cast members, and thanks to Patroon video video sessions,
Speaker 1: I am now to the point where I can put
Speaker 1: voices to names and faces. It's only been like twenty months,
Speaker 1: but who's counting. Uh okay, such a joy, not joking,
Speaker 1: Love you all, Lance from Baltimore. It doesn't seem like
Speaker 1: oh scene suggested there. It is in the middle buried.
Speaker 1: Thank god. That would be a lot to just read.
Speaker 1: What't rates are you always certain there is a suggestion. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this one is there always at the end. This one
Speaker 1: was weirdly buried in the middle, um saying suggestion. Very
Speaker 1: simple two words divorce court. M h baby, baby, just reconsider, reconsider, reconsider.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm really done. I'm done with it. I'm done
Speaker 1: with you. I'm sorry. Okay, let's get to it. Everyone
Speaker 1: can be seated. I am Judge trum Bone. This is
Speaker 1: my court, and as it's my court, I as it's
Speaker 1: my court, I will allow that outburst any others. No,
Speaker 1: thank you, but I I just want to love the
Speaker 1: way that your eyes pop up against that rope that
Speaker 1: you're wearing. Thank you very much. It's very handsome, your honor. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you. I have shark eyes and it pops in
Speaker 1: this just dark rope, So thank you so much. Awesome. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I like you. I don't know what you're here for.
Speaker 1: Are you journalist? What's your what's your I'm actually I'm
Speaker 1: getting a divorce. I'm representing. I'm oh lawyer. She is.
Speaker 1: Please disregard what he said. She's definitely getting a divorce today.
Speaker 1: Well is that Greece on your lapel? Sir? What is that? Yes?
Speaker 1: It is Yana and also elevens and spices. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: that's the smell. I'm representing the guy, and I just
Speaker 1: want to say that my opponent, the great lawyer from Detroit,
Speaker 1: is putting on some voice to make himself sound more
Speaker 1: interesting and or important, and I object. Yeah, declare, You
Speaker 1: don't need to declare anything. Okay, we haven't started yet. Okay,
Speaker 1: we haven't started. I don't I'm not even sure taking
Speaker 1: first did you not tell your lawyer your name? That
Speaker 1: is so like you. This is why I can't be
Speaker 1: with you anymore, because you don't even introduce yourself properly
Speaker 1: in the right circumstances. Okay, I'll work on it, work
Speaker 1: on it. Excuse me, sir, Hi, my name is Daniel,
Speaker 1: Daniel Caravine. Why are you approaching the bench? Who said
Speaker 1: you hit approach the bench? What is going on? Bailiff?
Speaker 1: Can I talk you for a second? Bailiff? Yeah? What's bailiffs? Yes? Okay?
Speaker 1: Can you two? I got I have two bailiffs? Here?
Speaker 1: Is that? What? How is that? What? Time? Lunch? Today? Lunch?
Speaker 1: Just want to say it is look at me, me,
Speaker 1: my chambers, like we are in a recess bailiffs chambers.
Speaker 1: I think I think I won. I think I won. No,
Speaker 1: it's not a winner. It's not a winner. Lose. We're
Speaker 1: not We're not quiet yet, they assumed to be ex
Speaker 1: Mrs Carabine. We'll talk to the judge. I'll let you
Speaker 1: know what what what he says when we come out
Speaker 1: of there. Hey, what's up you, bailess? We need a well, Steve,
Speaker 1: I think we need a break. Well, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: We need a break. Okay, what does that mean? It
Speaker 1: means we need to come apart. We need some time apart.
Speaker 1: What sure, I'm an employee. I don't understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I understand that, And what I'm saying is, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put you in another courtroom and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get a different bail You're gonna put me. Yes, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be moved. What is confusion about? Look divorce court.
Speaker 1: Divorce Court is now in session. The Honorable Judge trump
Speaker 1: p Et presiding, seems like alright, I'm taking a look here.
Speaker 1: We've got Honorable Trumbone from the court next door. I
Speaker 1: would like to separate from his uh from his bailiff.
Speaker 1: Steve is that correct. Yeah, this is some kind of bullshit.
Speaker 1: What do your grievance is, Honorable Judge trump Bone grievances
Speaker 1: are that number one? Uh? Lack of duty? Duty? What's
Speaker 1: number two? This is part of it. What just happened
Speaker 1: right there, that's a huge part of it. I you know,
Speaker 1: I don't I gett to my courtroom. I have no
Speaker 1: idea what's going on? I have a number three? Is alright?
Speaker 1: What's number three? You want? The third problem is we
Speaker 1: don't question any more authorities. Sure, we don't talk anymore.
Speaker 1: You're on here. We used to connect, we used to vibe.
Speaker 1: We should go down and from an employee, where are
Speaker 1: your lawyers? You're on? I am all right here and
Speaker 1: I am here to represent the bailiff. But I didn't
Speaker 1: want to say your honor that your cologne is really
Speaker 1: nice today. Well, gosh, thank you very much. Yeah. It
Speaker 1: walks into the air and it circulates through the room,
Speaker 1: and I am overly impressed. It is Dolce and Gabana.
Speaker 1: And aren't you the dolce ist as in the sweetest
Speaker 1: for saying so? Are you from Detroit? I am? I
Speaker 1: just heard it in right outside ham trammic is where
Speaker 1: I'm from ham Trammic right outside. I'd like to second
Speaker 1: the notion and regarding the cologne, sir to subtle yet pleasing.
Speaker 1: Oh no, need to steve, You've already won this case.
Speaker 1: What that's right? Thank you? Tom. That sucks, dude. I
Speaker 1: can't believe you guys broke up. That's sucking, bummer, dude.
Speaker 1: But yeah, your mother welcome to stay at my place
Speaker 1: as long as you need to, dude. And uh no,
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I want to be a
Speaker 1: bailiff anymore. I feeling good, have changed everything. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean this is a time to kind of booting
Speaker 1: on you and your family. No, man, No, I didn't
Speaker 1: know you're you're you are family, dude, So don't don't
Speaker 1: worry about that. Um. But you know, everyone's kind of
Speaker 1: got weird hours. I work night shifts. Miranda's and the
Speaker 1: a M kids are in the afternoon, so you know,
Speaker 1: just just kind of just melt in, dude. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's gonna be that big of a problem. But
Speaker 1: you have cable TV. Yeah, we got cable Yeah, Dad,
Speaker 1: can you pass the bread? Yeah? So uh yeah, so everyone,
Speaker 1: of course Tom's gonna be with us for a bid
Speaker 1: and we're just not even wearing any shoes. Okay, House,
Speaker 1: he should be wearing shoes. Okay, is that what I'm
Speaker 1: telling his fate? Look at that toenail. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: christ on a cue combing? Can I talk to you
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, murder? What is it, Miranda, Miranda Jr. Senior? Baby,
Speaker 1: you can talk to you in the kitchen for a second.
Speaker 1: Yes you, yes, you look you've been hanging out with
Speaker 1: the kids too much. You got this kind of vibe
Speaker 1: and lingo. That's it's just that's just like I feel
Speaker 1: like you're underminding me when I'm trying to help my
Speaker 1: buddy Tom out. Okay. Well, I'm just saying I pay
Speaker 1: the bills, so okay, I know that. I know that
Speaker 1: I put food on the table. I pay for your
Speaker 1: fancy cell phone. I bought the Apple TV. I know. Listen, Okay,
Speaker 1: my skin grap business is going to blow up. I
Speaker 1: know this, Okay, I just need a little fire or something.
Speaker 1: It's not true. It's breaking everybody out. I gave it
Speaker 1: to my aunt and my aunt Diana, and she it
Speaker 1: scarred her. The skin wrap scared her. Well. She was
Speaker 1: moving when I told her not to, So I don't
Speaker 1: know what do you want me to do? Look, just
Speaker 1: just for a little bit, just for a little bit,
Speaker 1: we'll have him here and then then then we could
Speaker 1: ask them to leave. Okay, okay, just for a little bit,
Speaker 1: just for a couple of months, a couple of months
Speaker 1: days out of here. Okay, that is not a little bit,
Speaker 1: that is a lot bit. All right, all right. We've
Speaker 1: got today's case in divorce court. We've got Miranda Senior
Speaker 1: versus Mr Miranda. I'm sorry I didn't catch your first name.
Speaker 1: Ask your lawyer? What's that? What's his first name? Did
Speaker 1: you not bring a lawyer either? He's not here yet. Uh,
Speaker 1: he'll be here in a second. You owe me for that. Right.
Speaker 1: We raced, We were raced to see who that would
Speaker 1: be a lawyer. He drove. I happed out of the car,
Speaker 1: but he left the car running. These guys are wearing shoes. Gentlemen,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to ask you to wear shoes if
Speaker 1: you're going to be in my courtroom. Oh shout, I
Speaker 1: left mine in the car. Okay, I'll right back ship. Um,
Speaker 1: can we wait until he comes back? And this other
Speaker 1: gentleman still here? He could very well, I mean you've
Speaker 1: passed the bar, right, young man. That is the first
Speaker 1: time you wore a suit. Yeah. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: gonna win this race. Tommy. You need to represent me time.
Speaker 1: You need. I need to win this, dude, if you
Speaker 1: if we win, we get the house, you can stay
Speaker 1: there as long as you want. I can't believe, but
Speaker 1: it's not as a lawyer. This guy is going to
Speaker 1: be a representation a minute, aren't you the bailiff from
Speaker 1: three doors down. I'm trying to make a I'm trying
Speaker 1: to make a new thing for myself. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: reimagine my life back back. Wait, he's a he's still
Speaker 1: not wearing shoes. Rooted this for me, your honor. I
Speaker 1: would like to sue my husband soon to be ex
Speaker 1: husband's lawyer for breaking my Apple TV. Yeah all right, Look,
Speaker 1: why don't we just add it to the list, you
Speaker 1: know what, write it on a post it note and
Speaker 1: just bring it up here to the bench and I'll
Speaker 1: put it inside the file. Well, I got a tattoo
Speaker 1: of it, okay, of the broken Apple TV. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: how much it hurt me. That's petty, all right, So
Speaker 1: what so what are we thinking my specialty is snake tattoos.
Speaker 1: I can do flames. You tell me what you want, sweetheart. Um,
Speaker 1: I want this Apple team, but broken, I wanted to
Speaker 1: remind me of my marriage and how it's a piece
Speaker 1: of plastic and how sometimes plastic breaks. Uh. You buy
Speaker 1: plastic and you think all my hopes and dreams are
Speaker 1: in this plastic, and then someone steps on it accidentally,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, the dreams are gone. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: are you making a lot of sense? Thank you? What's
Speaker 1: I didn't get your name, Miranda Senior? M Yes, that
Speaker 1: is my last name, a toaster? What's up? Man? What
Speaker 1: are you trying to reconnect all of a sudden? Dude?
Speaker 1: And let me tell you this man, fuck you do
Speaker 1: it all right and suck your tattoo business. Dude. Alright, look,
Speaker 1: I don't want to fight. Came here, came here. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sometimes life
Speaker 1: is like plastic. Step on that plastic break? So Gray, man,
Speaker 1: you but I'm going on this date now, man, So
Speaker 1: thanks for this. I feel open, I feel open out,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And so she's not divorced yet,
Speaker 1: but she says she's about divorced, and I think that
Speaker 1: means something. You know, that does man? Hey, that's that's
Speaker 1: that sounds one fot you know, hey, hey, hey, don't
Speaker 1: forget you deserve someone. Oh my god, I haven't cried
Speaker 1: in a long time. Man, wash your face, Wash your face. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Mr lawyer, I have heard that you have been winning
Speaker 1: a lot of cases around these parts lately. Which of
Speaker 1: those lawyers you're talking to? Well, I did. I did
Speaker 1: swing in the town, Like no, not you goddamn get
Speaker 1: out of here, Get out of here. I did swing
Speaker 1: into town and win a few cases. I hear you're
Speaker 1: doing quite well for yourself as well, using the flattery
Speaker 1: approach at the beginning every time. Is that your sandwich?
Speaker 1: That's my sandwich, that's my sandwich. I'll look up there
Speaker 1: with you continue this conversation. You could have half of
Speaker 1: my sandwich if you really wanted some. This are you
Speaker 1: proposing that we go into business together? You sandwich if
Speaker 1: you want it? Well, as a roast beef sandwich is
Speaker 1: roast beef sandwich? Or does a roast beef sandwich means
Speaker 1: you have decided that this town is in fact big
Speaker 1: enough for the two of us. Because the note you
Speaker 1: left under my windshield, said that it was not, and
Speaker 1: now you are willing to share your sandwich with me.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious if we are the second part of
Speaker 1: that monologue was what I was right. Oh, I do
Speaker 1: I apologize. I do get a little long wind. And
Speaker 1: we know that's that laugh about you. That's why you're
Speaker 1: a winner. It's because you talk so much that it
Speaker 1: exhausts everybody around you. I do. I do want to apologize.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Are you gonna? Are you picking up? I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm trying to get my sandwich and you're kind
Speaker 1: of blocking the aisle to get the sandwiches, and I
Speaker 1: just law your son, Uh, up and coming? I hope.
Speaker 1: I've been training every day, I hit the gym, uh
Speaker 1: you know, wind sprints, trying to my part to be
Speaker 1: ready for what I'm called up. Do you hear that council,
Speaker 1: He's been trained. All right, let me just get my sandwich.
Speaker 1: Let's get out of here, John Table. Oh all right,
Speaker 1: So let me get this straight. You want one half
Speaker 1: of a roastby sandwich on your arm and the other
Speaker 1: half on your arm? Is that correct? That is correct?
Speaker 1: And then you want in the business together. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to keep talking for a bit because
Speaker 1: I want to suck all the energy out of you
Speaker 1: get a discount on the final tattoo. Press done. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. Done, And and you want you
Speaker 1: want it to say a roast beef sandwich is a
Speaker 1: roast beast sandwich. That is correct, but half of the
Speaker 1: sentence on my half of the sandwich and half the
Speaker 1: sentence on horse right, so that anybody who saw it
Speaker 1: it would still just say roast beef is roasty sandwiches,
Speaker 1: and then a roosby sandwich. So I guess I'll take
Speaker 1: the first part since it's a little worse than the
Speaker 1: second one, roasty sandwich. I'm I'm willing to do that
Speaker 1: for you. That's that Detroit kindness ham tramming, and that
Speaker 1: is seen one for the energy energy to flow back
Speaker 1: into our bodies. She does. I'd like to echo the
Speaker 1: sentiments of all the other people writing in and thank
Speaker 1: you for for your efforts to consistently provide us with
Speaker 1: semi quality content. It's difficult time. I hope you all
Speaker 1: realize that you brought so many people joy through your
Speaker 1: wild antics and more importantly, the wonderful characters you guys
Speaker 1: come up with, and then he listed about forty seven
Speaker 1: of them. I will not read. Um. Here's my scene suggestion.
Speaker 1: The newly founded volunteer group called Blank with Borders UH
Speaker 1: embarks on its first charitable project. I'll let you all
Speaker 1: fill in the blank. Blank with Borders keep doing what
Speaker 1: you're doing. Connor, Alberta, Canada. Okay, everyone, your packs are
Speaker 1: on your left there. You should have a buddy already
Speaker 1: designated to you. It's one of the packs is for
Speaker 1: each of us. I should have a QR code on there,
Speaker 1: so if you just scan that, that'll tell you exactly
Speaker 1: where those with our eyes your phone. I don't want
Speaker 1: him as a park get off me. So you two
Speaker 1: are buddied up, and that's just the way it's gonna go. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: then teach him here. Okay, listen, everybody, we're Sandwiches without Borders.
Speaker 1: We're trying to give sandwiches everybody, all right, And a
Speaker 1: lot of people don't like sandwiches. A lot of people
Speaker 1: don't have sandwiches, and our job is to make sure
Speaker 1: people get sandwiches regardless of borders. And also was signing
Speaker 1: up for Sandwiches with Borders no, we're not. Get the
Speaker 1: hell out of here, Get the hell out. I was
Speaker 1: pretty pretty sure that it very clearly said with with borders. Well,
Speaker 1: then maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm Maybe I'm going to
Speaker 1: suck up. Maybe I'm but I'm going to set everything up,
Speaker 1: I get everyone organized, and I sucked it up. You
Speaker 1: know what, then you know that I quit. You're right,
Speaker 1: you're right. Alogies there without the borders of the toast exactly,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Sandwiches without borders. There's no crust,
Speaker 1: no crusted, the crustless sandwich, the distribution, the distribution of
Speaker 1: the sandwiches. There are borders. We're not just giving them
Speaker 1: to everybody, right, we give him to everyone too, it's
Speaker 1: without solid question, start giving out. He's a leader. How
Speaker 1: the hell did everyone get on the Mostia Maru without
Speaker 1: even knowing what the funk we're doing here? We're on
Speaker 1: the sea investment Maru. Yes, okay, yes, okay, it's commercial. Okay,
Speaker 1: So please please please don't start drinking again. Tell me no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know what, you know what, Claire, you're such a
Speaker 1: fucking people. Please are you're so scared of me just
Speaker 1: drinking again? You get so mean when you start to drink.
Speaker 1: He's already right now what the fund is up? You
Speaker 1: do not mean to me, I can't. Haven't just caught
Speaker 1: myself that everyone's just going freaking one who has been
Speaker 1: around forever. And if this is a five on a
Speaker 1: scale of one in ten of me while here we go,
Speaker 1: you never forget ship, it goes right up to a ten. Well,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, that's that's that's kind of that's hearsay.
Speaker 1: You're right, you're the only one who knows him. Maybe,
Speaker 1: but you're I'm saying, it's your hold on this year
Speaker 1: say have borders or as you say, without borders. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: if we're really getting into semantics, she didn't say that
Speaker 1: she wanted. She didn't say that she no, technically, she
Speaker 1: said she's the one that's been here forever. So I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm guessing that's that's being even more question. All I'm
Speaker 1: saying is, Captain Tony, what if we give you a
Speaker 1: couple of millar lights. I'm just I'm just running, I'm
Speaker 1: helping this program. I'm not a captain of the of
Speaker 1: the marou forgot saying, wait, you're not the captain and
Speaker 1: we're on international waters which means that anything goes. He's
Speaker 1: carrying a sword. This shorts got bullets on. It's a
Speaker 1: very carefully tread or carefully you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: With your booch? Cap by here they are, Shall I
Speaker 1: get boots on for you? Seem I got yeah, captain sandwich.
Speaker 1: Captain wants a sandwich on a shidwich. Thank you. I'll
Speaker 1: take one out of my backpack. Um fancy Jim's got
Speaker 1: himself a backpack and that it was my pack. I
Speaker 1: guarantee it was because of the QR code. But it's
Speaker 1: just are warming up, Greg. We got somebody that needs
Speaker 1: to walk the play. I was trying to help you
Speaker 1: super technical here, but I'm not certain he's our captain.
Speaker 1: He might during this ship. Oh no, well guess what.
Speaker 1: I'm certain that this is a full bottle of scoon off.
Speaker 1: Let's get it going, Tony to captain. You gotta get
Speaker 1: it to gather Tony, let him do it. What do
Speaker 1: you mean that you walk to the planks? The captain
Speaker 1: drunk too? I think he's a pirate. They're always drunk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a pirate. Does you're right here? Come with me?
Speaker 1: You're walking the plank. Maybe he's gone a note in
Speaker 1: his backpack from his doctor saying he doesn't have to
Speaker 1: walk the plank. Oh, let's see, let's seecks just full
Speaker 1: of sandwiches. Well, Jim, you're you're completely uh immunized, You're
Speaker 1: good to go or whatever the word is. And uh,
Speaker 1: I also see here that you want to uh, you're
Speaker 1: looking for a letter from a doctor's safe to not
Speaker 1: walk off the plank? Are you serious? Well? I mean
Speaker 1: I know that it's rare that these types of things
Speaker 1: come up, but as a non swimmer, I think it's
Speaker 1: important to have a note on hand in case. Excuse me, sorry,
Speaker 1: but Timmy the non swimmer. Sorry, can I just have
Speaker 1: a doctor? The doctor? Is he here for just a moment.
Speaker 1: Just got some test results. I wanted to let him
Speaker 1: know about real Oh my god, these are my results?
Speaker 1: What are there? Yeah? The results are you could stay
Speaker 1: just if you would look the other way and maybe
Speaker 1: type on your phone. So I feel like you're distracted? Done? Okay?
Speaker 1: When someone becomes immune? Yeah, how what's the past tense
Speaker 1: of that? Is? The test results? Are you just scolding?
Speaker 1: What is going on? This is the test and they're immunized.
Speaker 1: The I the immunities of eyes. Their immunity has eyes. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to leave the building and pack
Speaker 1: up your stuff. Get everything out of your locker. No,
Speaker 1: my doctor's locker. No, no, I earned that. Give me
Speaker 1: your so I was like, no, I don't want to
Speaker 1: see you anymore anyway. Doctors a locker talk, you know
Speaker 1: how it goes? Oh? Sh look who just walked in?
Speaker 1: Like h nothing, I got cut from the team, from
Speaker 1: the doctor team. Doctor team. Just got cut from the team,
Speaker 1: like red tagging his locker cut? Was it the pronunciation problem? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I pronuncing a word I don't understand. And let's let's
Speaker 1: guess what the word was pronunci eight. This is this
Speaker 1: is the most like broish bullshit doctor's locker. Remember been
Speaker 1: to my life? I have some fucking class. I mean,
Speaker 1: look this noted. It definitely is from a doctor, and
Speaker 1: it says he can't walk the plank. It's legitimate. Yea,
Speaker 1: enough walking up flying make him walk more clear? I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to have got the doctor snow. Then we'll
Speaker 1: draw and cool to them, will cut them up. We'll
Speaker 1: cut them up. Don't worry, children. Soon right across the horizon,
Speaker 1: a ship will come through and give us all sandwiches,
Speaker 1: what kind of ses? All kinds of sandwiches? The crystal
Speaker 1: will if you want? Can we get them without crust? Probably? Probably? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So you're not going to commit to an answer. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the funk they made over there makes
Speaker 1: my stomach go flippity flop trauma, that trauma. What are
Speaker 1: you doing? Man? What are you doing? My blood sugars? Okay, sandwich,
Speaker 1: I mean too, my god, but you can't put it
Speaker 1: on these kids. Come on, they're putting it on me there.
Speaker 1: They know what the they're doing. Just asked you a question, Henry.
Speaker 1: They just to a question about the roast beef or
Speaker 1: if there was crust. You listen, listen, dude, listen. I'm
Speaker 1: done playing fucking pretend land here. Okay, you're belly. No,
Speaker 1: I am distended from starvation, and I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I followed it here to Orphan Island anyway.
Speaker 1: I thought we'd be good people doing good things. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna hear about sherry splippity flop stomach and fucking
Speaker 1: Jimmy's fucking bullshit all day. I'm done, dude. When that
Speaker 1: ship comes, I'm going back with him, Henry. Come on, dude,
Speaker 1: look we're doing good work out here, okay, And and
Speaker 1: look maybe maybe we should have we have salad stuff
Speaker 1: we can make. I can make. I don't lot any
Speaker 1: more sound stuff, dude, So say you keep saying sound
Speaker 1: stuff like that's like good? Okay, Gary and Terry YouTube
Speaker 1: signed up for Orphan Island. Right, Orphan Island, Right, that's
Speaker 1: the jingle. I just have a couple of questions for you,
Speaker 1: and then we'll send you on your way, and thanks
Speaker 1: again for violin tearing. Question number why one is why
Speaker 1: did you choose or for nine? Well, we're good people?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? Are either one of you orphans? Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: speaking for my client. Would you go? You're doing You're
Speaker 1: doing a great job. Thank you so much. I'm so hungry.
Speaker 1: I actually I actually gotta go pep. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have my client speak for her and I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: Uh we heard so? Uh? Also, uh you, sir? What
Speaker 1: was your reason for volunteering good people? Yeah? Right? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm just curious why you Is there a key for
Speaker 1: the brotherroom or is it is? I might as code
Speaker 1: three to one. I guess nine six eight to nine
Speaker 1: seven he's gone, he's left the room a while ago.
Speaker 1: Nine seven, nine seven, Thank you, three to seven. You're
Speaker 1: going to do great at Orphan Island. Um, do either
Speaker 1: one of you have ibs? Funny? You should ask yes, yes,
Speaker 1: not terribly funny. When you get to Orphan Island, I
Speaker 1: can assure you. Are you on any sort of medication
Speaker 1: for your ibs? Funny you should ask yes, yes, I am.
Speaker 1: None of these questions were designed to be funny. Okay,
Speaker 1: So everything looks good with your your charge? She charges um,
Speaker 1: and you want to get some medication for your Yeah,
Speaker 1: isn't that funny? Uh? Yeah, So I'm not going to
Speaker 1: give you prescription for that. I think that's you don't
Speaker 1: need that. I think. I think if you pray it away,
Speaker 1: it'll be fine. But I thought you were the doctor
Speaker 1: who gives out like prescriptions for walking a plane. I was,
Speaker 1: but then I got flippity flop a lot of trouble
Speaker 1: for that. So I have a lot of money. I
Speaker 1: think I was a doctor who had a locker. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was part of a team. I was part of
Speaker 1: a unit. And the locker or a hurt locker, or
Speaker 1: like a book locker, or like a I look at like,
Speaker 1: what kind of locker? What kind of locker? It was
Speaker 1: like a gym. You know, it's like there's open grates,
Speaker 1: you can put your pads in there. I spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time in the inside of those, got beat
Speaker 1: up a lot in school. Oh I thought you worked
Speaker 1: with metal. Oh my god, that's uh, that's a you
Speaker 1: know what. Welcome back to the Dollar Pyramid. We've got
Speaker 1: a great couple of celebrity guest for us today and
Speaker 1: they're gonna try to win twenty five thousand for these
Speaker 1: two wonderful fans slash civilians. We're just to catch you up.
Speaker 1: We're in the second act now and we're gonna go
Speaker 1: over to Steve with giving clues. And here's your word.
Speaker 1: The word is locker. Okay okay um uh house uh
Speaker 1: hand sanitizer um uh big open open uh dusty um
Speaker 1: uh groger Uh no no uh do dog dog do?
Speaker 1: Um sim symbol a symbol, a bit, some symbol a
Speaker 1: bit lockers uh locker n I got no. I said,
Speaker 1: all right, once against dude, you've managed to get points
Speaker 1: for your civilian without realizing you had won the round.
Speaker 1: When we come back, we're gonna hear from team too.
Speaker 1: Right after this words from Larry's House of suns. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm calm everybody. Look, kids, look here he comes. Here
Speaker 1: comes the ship's wait and say, hi, what are those
Speaker 1: are those cannons? I think it's a cannons and a
Speaker 1: diving board. Maybe they're gonna shoot shoot? I don't know
Speaker 1: if I say the pirate chip, sir, And this looks
Speaker 1: like a pirate ship. Yeah, there's a big skull painted
Speaker 1: on the side of it with bones, skull and bones.
Speaker 1: That's a pirate thing. That's a pirate thing. Okay, fun pirates,
Speaker 1: heavy pirates. Kids? Do you want to eat more solid stuff?
Speaker 1: Does that sound like death to anyone else? That sounds
Speaker 1: like marching? Want this plank? I'm telling you, please, don't
Speaker 1: make me get down. I'm baking you. There's a person
Speaker 1: on that plank. It's called a diving board. Josh, maybe
Speaker 1: he'll do a cannon ball. Let's see. He's gonna die.
Speaker 1: It's too high up there. Listen, Sherry, I know you've
Speaker 1: seen a lot of bad things in your life, hence
Speaker 1: the flippity flops. Yeah, man, it's gonna die and everyone dies.
Speaker 1: Everyone does it works? What's the handless number? One of
Speaker 1: wolfn Island. Everyone dies, What the fuck? I didn't say
Speaker 1: that that the kids said that, But where do they
Speaker 1: learned that from Henry? But they learned that from Henry? Huh.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sucking starting. I go it s up.
Speaker 1: I got soup, not a scene too. I'm fucking starving, man.
Speaker 1: I love salad stuff. Oh my lord. Three from Patron
Speaker 1: VP Wyatt Hunter, who wrote high Alchemist. I'm a proud
Speaker 1: Patreon supporter and everyone should join insert compliment here, insert
Speaker 1: callback reference such as I digress. My scene suggestion is
Speaker 1: this Satan's minions are misbehaving, so he sends them to
Speaker 1: summer camp. Much love, Wyatt from the U K. Okay, well, Shanna,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: like ate my face off? Okay, I wanted to because
Speaker 1: I felt like it. You wanted someone to eat your
Speaker 1: face off. I ate my own face off, and yeah
Speaker 1: I saw that, Okay, and you scared some of the
Speaker 1: other kids. Yeah all right. Did you come into my
Speaker 1: office really quick, Stephanie? Yes, excuse me, Hi, listen. I
Speaker 1: don't want to scare you, but I am about sure
Speaker 1: the three of your campers are You're shaking is everything. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think that their spawns of Satan. I think there.
Speaker 1: I think, oh my god, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. I don't think you think I'm crazy un
Speaker 1: telling the truth. Why are you every year? You just
Speaker 1: you pick out three kids, hate three kids? Every year.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of blood. There's a lot of things
Speaker 1: that are happening this year. That's crazy. There's the smell
Speaker 1: of sulfur every day, every day Jordan's I don't know
Speaker 1: what you want me to do. Honestly, this is just
Speaker 1: disturb it. I cannot believe that you're one of the
Speaker 1: counselors with me here. It's like, we should wear this cross.
Speaker 1: I just think you should wear this cross. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to wear that religious icnography here. This is just
Speaker 1: this should be for everyone. Okay, I'm not joking. Put
Speaker 1: in your pocket, put your packet. I don't want this,
Speaker 1: I don't need this. I'm good just saying if we
Speaker 1: don't all use it, it's useless. It's it's like a protection. Um.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, I thought it was really
Speaker 1: cool when you ate your face and then spit it
Speaker 1: back out. Thanks. I was working up to it and
Speaker 1: I thought maybe I would disappear my face forever, but
Speaker 1: then I pooped it out. I'm glad you didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't glad he didn't disappear it forever. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: this is stupid, but I made you have a bracelet
Speaker 1: a franchi. Do you want to touch me? But you're
Speaker 1: all glowing and stuff, go for it? Okay, alright, campers,
Speaker 1: a line up, campers, line up? Ship this kids having
Speaker 1: a seizure all right? Oh my god, oh tongue and
Speaker 1: uh sorry, sorry about that. I Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: felt the soul. Oh my god. Well, so he's in
Speaker 1: charge now. Okay, guys, I'm in charge, and I'll be
Speaker 1: very honest. It's gonna be a different kind of camp
Speaker 1: experience now. But I'm in charge, okay, because I'm not
Speaker 1: going to put up with any of your devilish acts.
Speaker 1: You're not asshole that takes three people every year and
Speaker 1: hates for no reason. You know what, There's always a reason,
Speaker 1: and this year, I've got a specific reason, and I
Speaker 1: want each of you to come up and I'm going
Speaker 1: to put a necklace on you. Okay, So that way,
Speaker 1: what was that I'm not wearing you? It Neglice dry
Speaker 1: this that that is? That is Brimstone High counselor Jane.
Speaker 1: So how is my little boy doing? I know he
Speaker 1: he was writing home. He said he had a crush
Speaker 1: on some girl that does funny things with her face.
Speaker 1: Is everything? Okay? Annette? Um wait wait you call me anette?
Speaker 1: You never call me a Nette. Brian. Brian was touched
Speaker 1: by a demon and his soul was ripped him and
Speaker 1: sent to the nether world. I don't know how else
Speaker 1: to say this. Wait, what well, you better say it
Speaker 1: another way, because what you just said doesn't make any sense,
Speaker 1: is he Okay? Put him on the phone. Put them
Speaker 1: on the phone. He's like, we're not able. We can't
Speaker 1: talk to him like this. Look, if you want to
Speaker 1: get Brian back, you're gonna have to traverse the river
Speaker 1: sticks and break down the walls of Hades herself and
Speaker 1: find him. We did this last year, I know, and
Speaker 1: then it was like fucking nightmare. Net Listen, Okay, I
Speaker 1: can't help this. One of the other campers is possessed
Speaker 1: by Satan. I don't know how clear I can be
Speaker 1: about that, Trevor, Mate, I don't know how long we've
Speaker 1: been working on his walls of hades. But at some
Speaker 1: point they'll be done right. Well, thanks, So what about you, lief?
Speaker 1: You think we're gonna finish his fucking walls his hades? Mate,
Speaker 1: I don't think we're ever going to finish this. I mean,
Speaker 1: is that all right in hell? Is to just build
Speaker 1: this this wall? I mean, look over there, look at Sisipus.
Speaker 1: How long you've been pushing that fucking rock up there
Speaker 1: since I got here? That's for sure? Take a break,
Speaker 1: will you? You know he can't take a break? Was
Speaker 1: a s guy. It was just just shown up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you the one who's with the name tag. What says Brian? Brian?
Speaker 1: What's your story? Um? I I was in camp and
Speaker 1: then I liked the girl, and then I'm here right right?
Speaker 1: But my mom I think my mom's coming to get me.
Speaker 1: I'm not going. Yeah, she's definitely coming to get you
Speaker 1: by yeah that's what I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's
Speaker 1: coming eventually. Right, Yeah, that's what I mean. Can we
Speaker 1: get you anything in the meantime? Are you hungry or
Speaker 1: you're thirsty? Do you have any salad stuff? Salad stuff? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like sweet green there and over in the back. Okay,
Speaker 1: So what would you like, go on that salad, mate,
Speaker 1: let's get to work on it. I don't know just
Speaker 1: standards a kid salad? A kid what we made a
Speaker 1: kid's salad, that's what. Just let us in A couple
Speaker 1: of carrots and branch dressing. Yeah, and Cruton's plays extra crutons.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question, sir? Any question you
Speaker 1: got a little one? Have you ever been in love?
Speaker 1: And if so, how did you know? And if so,
Speaker 1: what did you do about it? Where sure, I've been
Speaker 1: in love and I knew it because I shook until
Speaker 1: my soul was gone. I think that's what happened to me, right,
Speaker 1: That's what happened to all of us down here. Mate. Well, Jordan,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for saying me a lot of table.
Speaker 1: You're well completely child of good. It's always welcome into
Speaker 1: the house of good. Thank you, good good. What can
Speaker 1: I do for your child? Well, it's pretty simple. It's
Speaker 1: similar to last year, except this time I'm one page.
Speaker 1: I am sure that this year three of the campers
Speaker 1: are possessed demons. I don't think they're possessed. I think
Speaker 1: there's literally some decent demons and some of them have possessed.
Speaker 1: It's it's like a virus outbreak, and I can't get
Speaker 1: anybody to use the crosses. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: I think you need to come down to the campground. Jordan.
Speaker 1: What you're saying is a very serious sin. Don't know
Speaker 1: what you're saying. I know last year I was wrong,
Speaker 1: but this is not a sin because it's true. Jordan's
Speaker 1: I exercise the children that didn't need to be exercised.
Speaker 1: Do you know what that means? I opened the portal
Speaker 1: to hell and then got them possessed? My bad, my
Speaker 1: bad father. I'm just saying, we need to cross the
Speaker 1: river sticks this time. Okay, we need to get I
Speaker 1: lost a camper and no camper left behind. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I need you and me to go down the river sticks.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's a different mythology than what how
Speaker 1: you believe? You understand it right? You know what I'm
Speaker 1: working with? What I got here? Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot, but I know that we've
Speaker 1: lost one. It's names Brian. Wow. Well, the way I
Speaker 1: see it is you never really told her how you
Speaker 1: felt about her? Is good? That for years, mate, I've
Speaker 1: been telling you that for years. I guess that's right. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: does anybody want to buy them in Crucians? They're covering ranch.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks mate, you went not on lab. But that's
Speaker 1: very generous of you. He's been a time little man.
Speaker 1: Do you want to help us build his wooly? No?
Speaker 1: Thank you. Not Just pay the ferryman, Just pay the environyman.
Speaker 1: I paid last year and he said it was good
Speaker 1: for three sixty five days. That was last year. That
Speaker 1: was three and sixty five days. I don't to the day.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: You pay, you pay? No, just is it my kid
Speaker 1: to the day? Just pay the fucking ferry Okay fine? Also,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming along on a girl's trip of course.
Speaker 1: Okay here here? What how much do I give you? Again?
Speaker 1: Is it two locks of my hand? Captain won a payment?
Speaker 1: Captain won a payment one coin per e one coin
Speaker 1: per eyes. So there's four eyes. No, just just pay
Speaker 1: just two coins, four coins per eye. Do you have
Speaker 1: two eyes? You have two eyes? Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: do so, so you get two coins for you, two
Speaker 1: coins for me? Is it just one for all of us?
Speaker 1: Or like do we have flirting? Stop flirting with him. Ok, okay,
Speaker 1: go co co co? Excuse me, sir? Yes, oh what
Speaker 1: was that? Who was that? Sorry? I'm sorry, I'm actually here.
Speaker 1: I feel partly responsible for Brian. I'm here. You don't
Speaker 1: came back. There is a cue acute. Well, I'm with them.
Speaker 1: They don't know it yet, but I feel responsible for
Speaker 1: what's happened. Two more coins. Jordan, Hi, this is Jordan,
Speaker 1: thank you. Uh, Jordan's uh, this is a This is
Speaker 1: the mother of the kid whose soul you send down here.
Speaker 1: I didn't. Oh, you're the one that mess with Brian. Listen,
Speaker 1: it's not really that I messed with Brian. It's just
Speaker 1: the last year I cried Wolton. No one believed me
Speaker 1: this year, so it's kind of my fault. Does anybody
Speaker 1: have some coins that can have Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just feel like when I leave, you guys can
Speaker 1: just come with me and you could be my brothers
Speaker 1: or something for my uncle's I don't think he guess mate,
Speaker 1: it definitely doesn't. Nobody leaves him mite. Yeah. You see
Speaker 1: that door right there and has a code. It does.
Speaker 1: The code is three to one eight two nine. We
Speaker 1: we've been punching it wrong. Oldest time we've been punching
Speaker 1: three to two, eight to nine, seven is whole fucking time.
Speaker 1: It's true, and every time it doesn't look Brian, Brian, Mom, Brian,
Speaker 1: I miss you, Mom, Get off of me. These are
Speaker 1: my friends. How you doing it? You must be a
Speaker 1: net I am yes? Hi, Wow, you are handsome. Well.
Speaker 1: This is my friend. This is Teresa, Teresa. It's a
Speaker 1: bottle up holy water. Oh my god, my friends, my friends.
Speaker 1: Leave alone, leave alone? Baby, come back? Stop stop, stops up, baby,
Speaker 1: come back. I'm sorry, that just made me think of that. Sorry. So, Shanna,
Speaker 1: you've got to come out of your room sometime. I
Speaker 1: know he broke your heart. I know he's gone, but
Speaker 1: you've got to come out of there. Uh. I don't
Speaker 1: want to, Shanna. No, I'm gonna eat my face. You
Speaker 1: don't regurgitate and eat your face again. That's how you
Speaker 1: got a boy in this first place to fall for you.
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do? Just get over it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're different than them. Get over it. We can't be
Speaker 1: like the rest of those humans, can't. We failed. We
Speaker 1: all do the same stuff, we all feel. We all
Speaker 1: eat sandwiches. Hey, mom, thanks for driving me to this house.
Speaker 1: No problem, Hey, go get him. Thanks. Mom. Look, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying Sean was hold on. Somebody's at the door.
Speaker 1: What hell? Hello? Hello? Oh? Shu is Shan? Is Shaanna here?
Speaker 1: Who's ass? Brad At? It's okay, Dad, It's okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay you Shan bye? Is it for Shanni or
Speaker 1: shan up? Shana? Is that you? It's it's me, Brian.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh oh no, oh no, I'm good.
Speaker 1: I can't help myself. I made it everything. Oh god,
Speaker 1: Well she's regurgitated her face again. Brian, Yeah, I'm still here.
Speaker 1: Somehow I thought I killed you and sent you to hell.
Speaker 1: You did, but Hell's not what people think it is.
Speaker 1: Hell is just like a munch of cool uncles who
Speaker 1: didn't get it right the first time. Wow. Sounds like
Speaker 1: you've lived a whole lifetime of experience. I feel like
Speaker 1: I have in some ways. Um, do you want to
Speaker 1: get ice cream? My mom's outside? Yeah, I eat ice cream.
Speaker 1: It feels like, do you want to touch me? I'm not.
Speaker 1: We can hold hands, but are you sure that the
Speaker 1: bad thing won't happen to me again? I'm not? Uh
Speaker 1: sorry about Jesus. Um, it's uh, it's kind of a
Speaker 1: hot girl summer, if you know what I mean. And people, uh,
Speaker 1: a lot of people going to hell, A lot of
Speaker 1: people are going up to heaven. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you want to check the numbers or you wanna get
Speaker 1: involved in some way, but um, I just want to
Speaker 1: bring this to your attention. I thought a lot of
Speaker 1: you probably know about this already. You know I'm I'm
Speaker 1: niscient and I'm omnipresent. All right, you're probably sleeping. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to come by and talk to you at
Speaker 1: the door. Hey, you're up, all right? Uh? Yeah, So
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know what the hell
Speaker 1: is popping off right now? And do you need a lozenge?
Speaker 1: Do what? H Let me see if I gets all right,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'll take control of the situation. Jesus,
Speaker 1: your mother has it under control, all right. Yes, we
Speaker 1: know that there's a lot going on right now in
Speaker 1: the world. Uh, and it's all purposeful. There is a
Speaker 1: reason behind all of it. And I bet you want
Speaker 1: to know what that reason is, don't you. I mean,
Speaker 1: I trust you, I trust you, But if you about
Speaker 1: love to hear it, I'd love to hear it you. Well,
Speaker 1: it's about teamwork, ensemble. Uh, supporting each other, getting on
Speaker 1: the same page, highlighting each other's strengths. Are you trusting
Speaker 1: each other forward? Yes? Yes, I'm starting poster alright. I
Speaker 1: didn't feel that you could see me. I thought my
Speaker 1: eye line was in the right direction. What. No, it's
Speaker 1: a great boaster either way. Yes, thank you. You know
Speaker 1: I'm built to completely serve. I can't really contradict or.
Speaker 1: I go downtown and so happy to be an unjailed.
Speaker 1: I love my gig, but that's kind of what I do.
Speaker 1: Just gonna pass messages back and feel like I did
Speaker 1: my thing. I might. Uh could you bring us a
Speaker 1: roast beef sandwich? Yes? I can get that one right now.
Speaker 1: I know it out. Do you think I can't do that?
Speaker 1: I can do that too. I'm saying the next time
Speaker 1: you come, I would like you to bring a roast
Speaker 1: beef sandwich. I can go get one right now. I
Speaker 1: can go. I could do that too. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: the next time, it would be great for you to
Speaker 1: bring us a gift. I hear what you're saying, so
Speaker 1: I'll get one now. Okay, I can do that too,
Speaker 1: I said I could do that. I look, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: you've ruined it. Here, here's a roast beef sandwich here.
Speaker 1: Thank you. That's awesome. That's for me. Oh I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Here you go. This is your Rosebary sandwich. Good meeting,
Speaker 1: great meeting. Okay, awesome. I'll bring a lozenge and uh
Speaker 1: I'll be back. Dude, dude, it sounds like she's into you.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I don't. That's crazy, man, come out. So
Speaker 1: what Hey, she's still a lady, she still got meats. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have no genitalia, man, I have no sex drive,
Speaker 1: but I do think in like a bigger way. I
Speaker 1: kind of support her. But I mean, hold on, I
Speaker 1: mean interrupt you. But you were built to serve, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I served that ass out man. Man. I mean I
Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, but that does nothing to me.
Speaker 1: I don't even feel that. I can't at times, but
Speaker 1: can they can remove it. So what I'm thinking is
Speaker 1: I might be able to be there emotionally for you know,
Speaker 1: because like Joseph friend zone, you don't want to be
Speaker 1: in that friend zone. Dog. Yeah yeah, but you know
Speaker 1: Jesus is have you have you kiss somebody? Have you
Speaker 1: ever kissed someone, Um, I mean kissed by the let
Speaker 1: of God. Yeah, okay, here, what do you know, my shoulder?
Speaker 1: That's that's what she wants to kiss my shoulder. Get
Speaker 1: off my shoulder. I'm sorry, Angel, stand back. You got it.
Speaker 1: The funk was that I was talking to Michael. He
Speaker 1: that was the most disgusting thing that has ever happened
Speaker 1: to me. And I've been around since forever. Okay, I
Speaker 1: botched it. I botched it. All right, Let's let's drop
Speaker 1: the sandwich. Angel, dropped the sandwich and exit the room.
Speaker 1: You got it. Don't fly. I want you to walk.
Speaker 1: Walk out of the room. You got it, But don't
Speaker 1: turn around. Keep your eyes on me. I don't want
Speaker 1: your eyes going anywhere else. Keep about me and step out,
Speaker 1: step backwards, step very slowly. Okay. The doors to my left, okay,
Speaker 1: oh okay, okay, uh. I feel like the door was
Speaker 1: here before. It's gone. Now. I moved it. Okay, I
Speaker 1: moved totally totally cool. This is your punishment. He will
Speaker 1: spend the rest of eternity. What the funk? Man? What
Speaker 1: the lock? She moved the door. That means she wants
Speaker 1: the more. I don't think so, man. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I think I should just like quit while on ahead. Hey,
Speaker 1: have you ever stuck in your fingers and said someone's
Speaker 1: mouth before? I guess to help someone throw up? Sure?
Speaker 1: Who would you? Would you help throw up? Uh? Let's
Speaker 1: see who was it? I think it was a mess
Speaker 1: of fist. He was choking. Dude, dude, fucking help me
Speaker 1: throw up? Come on, you got ship? What are you showing?
Speaker 1: Don't put your foot in my ear? How's that work? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there we go? There we god feel eggs? Man? Are
Speaker 1: you feeling, bud? Oh so much better you're feeling? Wow?
Speaker 1: That roasty sandwich just fucking filled me in like a helium.
Speaker 1: It was insane. Yeah, you're allergic, man, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you got something. Man, kiss my shoulder quick? Uh yeah, thanks?
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice. That's nice. There you go, buddy, Let
Speaker 1: me run. Um mom um. This is one of the
Speaker 1: guys you met down before, one of the cool guys
Speaker 1: out there, like, Um, I'll leave you too alone. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go meet I'm gonna go shan shan by right
Speaker 1: so and that yes, yes, well you're you got quite
Speaker 1: a lovely boy there. When it gave us a code,
Speaker 1: got us right out at you know, it was he's
Speaker 1: a smart boy, always with the numbers, numbers, So do
Speaker 1: you think he's setting us up on a date. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what this is. That's what this is. I should
Speaker 1: just say up front, I'm not interested. Oh well to
Speaker 1: the house of awkward. Um, thank you also very damn
Speaker 1: much for joining us today. Um let's start with Carla,
Speaker 1: just to make it crystal clear how much you have
Speaker 1: been missed. Yeah, this one microphone per house thing is
Speaker 1: just not working for us. I love that you're in
Speaker 1: the Carolinas. We didn't expect to be here this long,
Speaker 1: and that you've escaped reality beautifully and I've created your
Speaker 1: own and that it's going well. But I'm going to
Speaker 1: take up a collection from the listeners and see if
Speaker 1: you can send a second microphone, because this is really
Speaker 1: so great to have you back. And thank you as always,
Speaker 1: thank you for inviting me. Did the the in laws
Speaker 1: come and go? Were they still there? They came and went,
Speaker 1: and it was some We did the test, we did
Speaker 1: testing all four of us. We did the social distancing Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we ate outside together six ft apart. Like it was
Speaker 1: really stressful. Actually, it's so weird. It's a new world,
Speaker 1: every aspect of it. But we're so glad that you
Speaker 1: could make time and please come back as soon as possible.
Speaker 1: Thanks Ken much, much safety and health to you all. Christovarado,
Speaker 1: same here, buddy, Thanks so much for coming back and
Speaker 1: uh and joining the fun and and God, God bless
Speaker 1: you and the family. Hey, God bless you and your family.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Really. By the way, my
Speaker 1: mom right before we started recording and sent me a
Speaker 1: video of you getting roast getting roasted by Nikki what's
Speaker 1: her name, Nicky Glacier class Glass. Yeah. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: the Bruce Willis Rose and we were all in the
Speaker 1: dais and as is the want of those ridiculous things,
Speaker 1: they you have to roast each other as well, right,
Speaker 1: But my mom led with, look how handsome he looks
Speaker 1: in this. I think it's the tuxedo or suit. So
Speaker 1: my mom was she had the hots for you this morning.
Speaker 1: That was to say, yeah, gotta look good in the
Speaker 1: tucks or stock wearing clothing altogether. That is where I said,
Speaker 1: you know, speaking of roasting other people on the daist,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to digress for a moment, because hey,
Speaker 1: why not They ended up cutting two of my favorite
Speaker 1: jokes because um they were, well, I'll share them with
Speaker 1: you guys and the listeners. Please write to us your
Speaker 1: name here at auguments dot com and the way in
Speaker 1: whether they should be Maybe you shouldn't cut from a
Speaker 1: roast it might be imagine. Well, that's why I wanted.
Speaker 1: I want the feedback from people I can truy. This
Speaker 1: is an airring on Comedy Central, So you're supposed to
Speaker 1: roast each other on the days, we're supposed to really
Speaker 1: go after people. So like Ed Norton was on the days,
Speaker 1: and I said, hey, Ed Norton's here. Of course, back
Speaker 1: in the day Ed Norton ran around with Courtney Love.
Speaker 1: I should say that a little more respectfully. Ed Norton
Speaker 1: has aids it was the biggest laugh of the entire night.
Speaker 1: I promise you all humility is uh incorporated. And then later,
Speaker 1: like ten minutes later, my I set this call back
Speaker 1: when I finally got to Bruce. Uh. Bruce is a
Speaker 1: very private guy. I've known him a long time. We've
Speaker 1: done several movies together. I've seen him in his private life,
Speaker 1: and there's some certain things that nobody knows about, one
Speaker 1: of which I should share uh Ed Norton gave Bruce aids.
Speaker 1: Isn't it weird that both of those jokes did not. Anyways,
Speaker 1: little levity for my my crew that I love so much,
Speaker 1: including Mark Gagliardi. Thanks for having me. This is always
Speaker 1: a blast. I hope to see you very soon. Joey Greers,
Speaker 1: same to you, pleasure, Thank you for having man. Please
Speaker 1: stay healthy. And James, you're gonna miss you for the
Speaker 1: next couple of weeks. Please let us know when you come.
Speaker 1: It's a shame about James, guy, shame about jam All right,
Speaker 1: that's it for today. Let's thank our producer and engineer
Speaker 1: of the Stars, Mr Doug Baine. Find folks that I
Speaker 1: heart media Famy host Kevin Pollock reminding you we can
Speaker 1: beat this damn thing if everyone wears a mask every
Speaker 1: single time to leave their house. That's it. That's all
Speaker 1: you gotta do, all right, Love you all, Please be
Speaker 1: safe and healthy out there. Until next time. Hi,