Speaker 1: Hey, what up? Fucker's Christina Hutchinson and krine Fish. You're here.
Speaker 1: You're about to listen to a clip from Guys We Fuck,
Speaker 1: the anti slut chiming podcast only on Luminary, starring our
Speaker 1: guest today, Phil Duckett. He's a stand up comedian and
Speaker 1: one of the few people that Karin will wait after
Speaker 1: a show to speak with that is truly saying a
Speaker 1: lot um and we're so excited for you to hear
Speaker 1: a clip of this conversation. If you're interested in hearing more,
Speaker 1: head on over to Luminary podcasts dot com. How did
Speaker 1: you start accepting payment for the meat as we're referring
Speaker 1: to it, Yeah, the meat? When did you exchange the
Speaker 1: meat for a doll um? I don't, I don't. I
Speaker 1: can't probably put like a date on it, because it
Speaker 1: wasn't like, oh to this la your diary today is
Speaker 1: the day I was more. Yeah, it was like I
Speaker 1: dropped something off one day. Was it the meat? It
Speaker 1: was I'm talking a great yeah. And and the next
Speaker 1: time I came over, it was like three on the
Speaker 1: dresser and a pair of Jordan's and she was like,
Speaker 1: she was like, I was just thinking about you. And
Speaker 1: I know you're going through some stuff. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's smooth on her part. Now come on, God send
Speaker 1: you people when you need them the most. And that's
Speaker 1: exactly where I was at with that. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I needed these Jays and three hunt. You know,
Speaker 1: it was just it just timed up and so and then.
Speaker 1: But it started like natural introduction to it. And you
Speaker 1: guys have gotta understand. Like sex, I guess it has
Speaker 1: been a big part of my life all my life
Speaker 1: because I said I couldn't get any for so long,
Speaker 1: so I started watching porn. I was six. How did
Speaker 1: you find it? Because I mean, like just six, the
Speaker 1: internet isn't a thing. Yeah, basketball camp. It was ninety
Speaker 1: four Madhouse, the first one and the older House, the
Speaker 1: old and that was come on out they I mean
Speaker 1: they spread labies and so at six, you're like, I
Speaker 1: don't know what that is. It was. It was cool
Speaker 1: because have bubbles on her and I was a bit
Speaker 1: fan of bubbles. She was in a hot tubules. I
Speaker 1: was like, bubbles, that's the most six year old approach.
Speaker 1: Bubbles and booms were you did? You like like the
Speaker 1: spread pussy, but you were like not sure why I
Speaker 1: didn't know, because when I first knew that a penis existed,
Speaker 1: I'm like, good, No, I did not know anything about
Speaker 1: the spread anything. But I was known for getting random
Speaker 1: erections at six, like just however, the wind blew, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, and you fill up hard. Sometimes
Speaker 1: guys get hard on just because they're like emotionally and
Speaker 1: your hormones are constantly changing when you're little, even how
Speaker 1: you me a little, even in high school when they
Speaker 1: call you up to the projector you have to tuck
Speaker 1: in high noon in the waist ban because you got
Speaker 1: to go up to the board. It's tough, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But you learned all those tricks as
Speaker 1: you grow up because it used to just do that.
Speaker 1: So you learn how to tuck in and hide him
Speaker 1: and ship, you know what I mean. But um, like
Speaker 1: you were getting random started the meat by the woman,
Speaker 1: the woman three rana. So then yeah, it kind of
Speaker 1: it just kind of slowly and suddenly it just advanced.
Speaker 1: And I guess you know, I was sleeping with married
Speaker 1: women when I was eighteen, and they would kind of
Speaker 1: just give me some of their husband's money and ship.
Speaker 1: So it was like small ship and like hush, money
Speaker 1: or oh no, they're just they hate their husband and
Speaker 1: I'm sucking them in their husband's bed like that was
Speaker 1: all money to the guy that Yeah, you know they
Speaker 1: can't stand them. Yeah, so they just like words start
Speaker 1: spreading that you're the guy to go to, like that's
Speaker 1: that's what I'm curious about, like the business model and yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's thing. You know, I've always traveled like I'm moving.
Speaker 1: I don't stay very many places, so you know, I've
Speaker 1: always moved around, so I can't even say like word
Speaker 1: got around. I'm always I'm just expanding my network everywhere
Speaker 1: I go. So and that's the thing I really do
Speaker 1: when I go on road for shows like I fucked,
Speaker 1: you know, even if it ain't worth it, I'm just
Speaker 1: like yeah, you know what I mean, I'll get a
Speaker 1: little yeah. Well it isn't like an obsession at this point.
Speaker 1: Like addiction, well I've had. I've had. My parents have
Speaker 1: made me go see people about that because with the
Speaker 1: sex therapists and ship like that and a lot of
Speaker 1: it is. And you know, because my mom she couldn't understand,
Speaker 1: like she was like these bottom feeder asked women you
Speaker 1: sleep with. I just can't understand like, start acting like
Speaker 1: you're somebody attractive and and so they wanted me to
Speaker 1: talk to somebody, and I just it was weird because
Speaker 1: a lot of the therapists they were like, well, sex
Speaker 1: is more of a power thing. Like I was like, well,
Speaker 1: don't put it like that, I said, because that sounds
Speaker 1: like s VU. I was like, what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: like they were like no, they were like, you, this
Speaker 1: is like get back for all the women who would
Speaker 1: never sleep with you when you were ugly. Now that
Speaker 1: you can have sex, you'll you funk everybody knowing that
Speaker 1: you're not going to call this again. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: why you hit the head. I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's more like, oh I can get I can probably
Speaker 1: get her, and then it's comforts yeah, because it's like
Speaker 1: I'm not ugly anymore, but at the same time, I'm
Speaker 1: not happy, Like I'm miserable as fun majority of the time,
Speaker 1: because then after you bust the nut, you roll over,
Speaker 1: you pass out. Yeah, because Little Wayne said it best.
Speaker 1: As soon as I come, I come to my senses.
Speaker 1: As soon as I bust that note, I'm like, why
Speaker 1: am I even here? Like I do that sometimes when
Speaker 1: I masturbated like, why did I even do this? That's
Speaker 1: why I like to close out my tabs a porn before,
Speaker 1: I know, because after you're like, who are you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's interesting. Yeah, and you're like creating that's what you're consuming?
Speaker 1: Or why does your mom know these um quote bottom feeder,
Speaker 1: low level women that you're like, why why does she
Speaker 1: like yeah about about those people? Because these are not
Speaker 1: like actual girlfriends. You're bringing the home right. It's very
Speaker 1: insightful of a mother to be to say to to
Speaker 1: her son like, you're better than this? What the fuck?
Speaker 1: Like not a lot of mothers would say that to
Speaker 1: their son. Well, she gives me the other side too,
Speaker 1: when like, I mean, like I walked in over quarantine,
Speaker 1: she was like, you should do a push up or something,
Speaker 1: because no man should walk around with no muscle definition.
Speaker 1: Like so she's like, gonna be real, no arabs good
Speaker 1: or bad? You know, but no, because so this is
Speaker 1: how she We used to work together when I first
Speaker 1: graduated from college. I moved to Atlanta when I started comedy,
Speaker 1: so I started, I got hired, and my mom used
Speaker 1: to work at State Farm Insurance, so she got me
Speaker 1: my first job as a claims processor as State farm,
Speaker 1: so we worked together. So I was hitting all of
Speaker 1: her subordinates. Yeah, little duck is dropping d I was
Speaker 1: playing clean up around the office. Yeah yeah, has your
Speaker 1: mom ever walked on never almost caught me. I don't
Speaker 1: even know if she remember this, because she knew something
Speaker 1: was off, but she didn't because growing up, our computer
Speaker 1: room was upstairs in the playroom, and so I was
Speaker 1: up there watching porn on the family computer and this
Speaker 1: is this is in the Lime Wire days boys, so
Speaker 1: you know it would take. But I set it up
Speaker 1: and hit it well enough because the title thing say
Speaker 1: like Big Booty Bitches Volume three. There was something very subtle,
Speaker 1: so I had it in with some other ship like
Speaker 1: hid it in some movies. So it finally is like
Speaker 1: almost unloading. So I'm like, I'm just gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and smack a ham to it. Now. Yeah, I couldn't wait.
Speaker 1: I couldn't wait. So I'm up there and anything. When
Speaker 1: I was younger, I don't care if it was me
Speaker 1: taking a ship masturbate and I need to be buttass naked.
Speaker 1: I just I just like, haven't Yeah, you need the freedom.
Speaker 1: So I'm sitting in the computer room but naked, going
Speaker 1: to it. How old, are you. I had to be
Speaker 1: in tenth maybe like okay, so yeah, peak carmonal. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I can't go fifteen year
Speaker 1: old boys learn in school. You don't you go strictly
Speaker 1: for the women. And if you cut a couple of
Speaker 1: physics and I was like whatever, maybe I was. I
Speaker 1: was like, maybe that's why they do like geometry around
Speaker 1: that time, they're like, no one really needs this information,
Speaker 1: but daan theorem. Okay, I don't care, but I forgot
Speaker 1: about that. I didn't geah, I don't know that ship
Speaker 1: a square. It's ridiculous. Um, But no, it was I
Speaker 1: do you're masturbating your computer screen? I hear the steps creek,
Speaker 1: which those are loud steps. I was like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I start clicking to get dressed fully. I will. Here's
Speaker 1: the thing I'm it's I mean, this is a catch
Speaker 1: twenty two. Do we leave the pop ups up because
Speaker 1: you're clicking and it's like horny singles in your area.
Speaker 1: So I just start clicking the exs clicking the excess.
Speaker 1: I get the screen back to the desktop. But now
Speaker 1: I'm bass snake at in front of a blank desktop.
Speaker 1: And my mom was like, Philip what are you doing?
Speaker 1: I was like this research and she was like, take
Speaker 1: your nasty ass to sleep. That's a good mom because
Speaker 1: she's not like she's not shaming you, she's not pretending
Speaker 1: not to know. Like that's a nice that's I was like,
Speaker 1: I am out. You're right, Yeah, that's so sweet. So
Speaker 1: when like, did your parents have a sex talk with
Speaker 1: you at all? Yeah? My my, I they took my
Speaker 1: teeth out of my room in third grade after they
Speaker 1: caught me watching a taxi Cab Pronfessions on HBO. Oh god,
Speaker 1: that show got everyone in trouble. It was and real
Speaker 1: sex because HBO was giving us the content like that
Speaker 1: was like all we had. I I didn't have a
Speaker 1: TV in my room until I was like in high school.
Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed to, but I would creep down because
Speaker 1: my parents would both fall asleep in front of the
Speaker 1: TV and then I would just quietly wait in front
Speaker 1: of the couch and change the channel. And they're pretty
Speaker 1: heavy sleep or secret change that channel they had? What's
Speaker 1: going on? We did? That would be tung cut? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, no, yeah, they so you got the
Speaker 1: TV removed? They took that out after that. Yeah, my mom,
Speaker 1: I remember, uh a matter of fact, No, that was
Speaker 1: actually I had the sex talk before they took the TV.
Speaker 1: They caught me after the sex talk. I remember because
Speaker 1: in second grade coming home from Catholic school. I went
Speaker 1: to Catholic school first and second grade, but I had
Speaker 1: to leave because I wasn't Catholic. So everybody was taking
Speaker 1: communion and I wasn't, so it looked. It just made
Speaker 1: me feel weird. Plus as a kid, like these people
Speaker 1: went to Catholic school. Catholics, right. But see here's the
Speaker 1: thing that didn't sit well with me. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: y'all drinking off that one mug and they won't even
Speaker 1: know pandemic yet. It was just like that. I was like,
Speaker 1: everybody's sipping off this yeah, and so I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we ended up going that's when I was in
Speaker 1: the public school. I like that was a hygiene issue
Speaker 1: that you left Catholic. Yeah, before they did with me,
Speaker 1: but I did not, Thank god, thank god, I'm sorry. Catholics.
Speaker 1: I like y'all. Hey, they have scandals, they have a
Speaker 1: history of little history. Them and the boy Scouts are synonyms.
Speaker 1: But you know that's yeah, I don't know. So Mom
Speaker 1: asked me coming home a second grade She said, Philip,
Speaker 1: do you know what sex is? And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's when you wrestle naked, and she was like in
Speaker 1: a way, and then she was like, but what do
Speaker 1: you have? I said a penis? And she said what
Speaker 1: the girls have? I said vaginas? And she said they
Speaker 1: have to meet up and introduced themselves to have babies.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's a good way to
Speaker 1: put it. That's a opriate for a second grade understand,
Speaker 1: introduced themselves baby. So it's like, Okay, you're not getting
Speaker 1: the image of somebody just getting gutted, but it's like, right,
Speaker 1: so you're not scarred. When I first learned about penetration,
Speaker 1: I was scared inside of your body. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: like really scary for like a young girl to learn about.
Speaker 1: So you gotta put it like, you know, that's a
Speaker 1: good way to put it. Did you like that clip?
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