Speaker 1: Well, come back to another episode of Alchemy, this COVID
Speaker 1: nine edition. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes not Kevin.
Speaker 1: Listen if you think these are the worst of times,
Speaker 1: let's let's just see how things are the last couple
Speaker 1: of months. But I digress. Let's meet our Alchemist, shall we?
Speaker 1: In no particular order, please say you lord of Chris Alvarado,
Speaker 1: Chris better than Hemsworth? Who is your favorite chef and
Speaker 1: or captain from the various below deck season? Well, I
Speaker 1: have to say I have to go with Chef Adam.
Speaker 1: He wasn't He wasn't great last season. He's just a
Speaker 1: bit of a dick. But why why do I have
Speaker 1: to say he's the best Kevin? Why because I hired
Speaker 1: him to cook for my birthday and Chris was present, yeah,
Speaker 1: and Christmas present. Because I had a very very very
Speaker 1: strict invite list, which was you had to have been
Speaker 1: you had to be an uber fan of the show.
Speaker 1: Forget whether or not you're a relative or someone who
Speaker 1: lives in the in the house. Um, all right, thank
Speaker 1: you for that, Chris. That uh hello, Craig Kakowski Kakao,
Speaker 1: if you were William Conrad's agent, how would you have
Speaker 1: broken the news to him that he's been offered one
Speaker 1: of the leads in a show called Jake and the
Speaker 1: Fat Man. Bill, it's Marty, Marty, what's up? Uh? Bill?
Speaker 1: I know you haven't worked in a while, but you
Speaker 1: have you have an offer. Yes, you have an offer.
Speaker 1: The show. The show is called Jake and the Fat Man.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be playing one of the leads, all right,
Speaker 1: tell me more about Jake. Uh. They they've hired a nice, young,
Speaker 1: good looking actor to play the other lead. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: So I think you can do the math here on
Speaker 1: building made yourself lately? What am I doing the math on?
Speaker 1: Have you weighed yourself lately? Bill? Uh? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: every other month? Bill, This offer is continued. Are you
Speaker 1: being the fat man? Are you cool with being the
Speaker 1: fat man in Jake and the Fat Man? You had
Speaker 1: me at offer? Please welcome first timer Jacqueline Way. Hey,
Speaker 1: now I noticed you wrote Jackie, So you prefer Jackie. Yes,
Speaker 1: all my friends call me Jackie. My nemesis called me Jacqueline.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take myself off the nemessies list right now. Jackie,
Speaker 1: Jackie Jackie. Oh. As a first timer, we have a tradition.
Speaker 1: Please tell us any awkward story from your early days
Speaker 1: studying improv Oh boy, um, let's see being a improviser
Speaker 1: all awkward a lot of time. Think the most awkward
Speaker 1: was um getting hit on by this like older gentleman
Speaker 1: who who was like who casually just wanted to sprinkle
Speaker 1: and that he was going out of singles cruise and
Speaker 1: as his way to like let me know he was available,
Speaker 1: and he got quickly blocked. Um. So that was a
Speaker 1: problem one that was that was that was a rough one.
Speaker 1: It was rough, but we made it. So the password
Speaker 1: is yike, Hey, there's Caroline Cotter Tarot card lover. Assuming
Speaker 1: there won't be a Halloween this year thanks to that
Speaker 1: prick COVID nineteen. What was your favorite childhood costume? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: i'll tell you this. My mom sold all my costumes
Speaker 1: for me, which was really nice, and she's a very
Speaker 1: talented seamstress. But I was a little bit of a kid,
Speaker 1: and you know, the only thing you want is like
Speaker 1: to have the store made costume. Um. So I think
Speaker 1: one time I dressed up as an eminem and and
Speaker 1: I took all the stuffing out of the inside of
Speaker 1: the costume she made me because I was pissed. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I grew up to love my mom. We have a
Speaker 1: beautiful relationship and I'm Everything about me is good and fine,
Speaker 1: and I don't have any problems because anything or anyone.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing. Hey, it's James Heeney, Jimmy Jack, come back.
Speaker 1: How regular are you? Before this started, I gave you
Speaker 1: guys private information about my regularity and I and I
Speaker 1: even made it clear I don't feel comfortable talking about
Speaker 1: that on any program, which is why I asked, Well,
Speaker 1: you know what, I would say, It depends. Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: every day, sometimes it's twice day, and sometimes I go
Speaker 1: two or three days. The word depends. Was that a pun?
Speaker 1: It sounds it sounds like going. I was recently driving
Speaker 1: across the country. I don't feel comfortable inside of gas
Speaker 1: stations sitting down, so you so I just put my
Speaker 1: thumb on my butt and I made it all the way. Jesus, well,
Speaker 1: it was it was. It wasn't easy. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get into the stories about how how regular I am. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we'll just leave it to our imaginations. That's fine,
Speaker 1: and last really normal though, please yeah. Uh, last but
Speaker 1: sucking egg. If you think I'm it's Joey Greer, Joey Killer.
Speaker 1: Tell us any of your childhood birthday parties. Tell us
Speaker 1: of any childhood birthday party. Uh. I remember one birthday.
Speaker 1: You know how you have like, uh, people like bust
Speaker 1: out of cakes or whatever. Uh. It was my dream
Speaker 1: to bust out of a cake. And I was probably
Speaker 1: like six or seven, and I had to go to
Speaker 1: this like training facility to do it. So it's gonna
Speaker 1: like a boot camp because they've got to be in
Speaker 1: the cake for a while. So I was training in Florida.
Speaker 1: None of this happened in key Bridge Beach. There's no
Speaker 1: six year old that even knows about things popping out
Speaker 1: of cakes. There's no beach to go there. And I
Speaker 1: trained with the seals for a long time and I
Speaker 1: never ring the bell. Uh and long so short of
Speaker 1: did two tours, one in Guatemala and one off of
Speaker 1: and uh that was let's do a damn show. Almost
Speaker 1: all of our scene suggestions you got it from your
Speaker 1: listener emails. If you'd like to submit one, please do
Speaker 1: right to the podcast at your name here at alcm
Speaker 1: this dot com. That is again your name here. Same
Speaker 1: number one comes to us from listeners Simon, who wrote
Speaker 1: High Alchemy Team. I've been listening to your show for
Speaker 1: almost a year now and have had and continue to
Speaker 1: have so much fun listening. I just started a new
Speaker 1: tax and accounting business and planned to once I make
Speaker 1: enough money to pay myself joined the elite group known
Speaker 1: as the Patrion Supporters. I don't know how elite they are,
Speaker 1: but sure. Before my scenes suggestion, I do have a question, Kevin,
Speaker 1: what is your third favorite fish based food product? Oh,
Speaker 1: that is a fan of the show. The exact awarding
Speaker 1: of that question my third favorite fish based food product,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with um your time, uh Scottish salmon footwear.
Speaker 1: Now out for my scene suggestion, Trouble at the peanut
Speaker 1: butter factory Keep on keeping on, Simon, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: pretty much. It's just like we you know, with the
Speaker 1: different factory outlook right now. No, I understand it, but
Speaker 1: it's just with the different outlets that we're looking at
Speaker 1: right now. We want to expand our revenue for the
Speaker 1: market share, it needs to be appropriate to wolver out putting.
Speaker 1: So if we really think about the peanut butter as itself.
Speaker 1: I mean we can just entering factory shut down. Ok,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be pretty bad. This is gonna shut
Speaker 1: the factory, whole factory shutting down. Those those look like
Speaker 1: blast stores, those blast doors and shutting down with the
Speaker 1: commencing blast doors. What the hell is going on? Kermit
Speaker 1: a mark two jars, go underneath the same time. Shoot
Speaker 1: peanuts into the air. Get get under here, Get under
Speaker 1: here with me their belt. Kermit. Report to the office, Kermit, Kermit,
Speaker 1: Report to the office. Kermit. I'm gonna gonna step away.
Speaker 1: Don't leave me. I don't know what I'm a market
Speaker 1: guy the most part and passed already. Okay, um, if
Speaker 1: anybody asks, I was paying complete Report to the office, Kermit, Kermit, report,
Speaker 1: kmita here you stay here the singing lullaby, do do
Speaker 1: do Do do? Boss, Boss, you asked me to come
Speaker 1: into the Hello, is anybody in here? I sorry, you're
Speaker 1: we walked into my office. The boss's office is next door.
Speaker 1: You're in the rock office. Are you sure? Yes? Do
Speaker 1: I looked like the boss of the company, Mr Peanut? No,
Speaker 1: you look like Mr Peanut? So then why would you
Speaker 1: think that's who? So? Why would you think that's who
Speaker 1: I was. You asked me if I was sure that
Speaker 1: you were in the right place. This is my office. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I just you understand, you understand what you did wrong? Diane.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Is everything okay in here? No, it's not okay.
Speaker 1: We have this freak from the factory floor. First of all,
Speaker 1: I am not a freaky I'm sorry, Mr freak. Who
Speaker 1: are you and what are you doing in Diane's office?
Speaker 1: My name's Kervitt, and I'm the I'm the chip supervisor
Speaker 1: of the wine for the Crunchy style peanut butter down
Speaker 1: the office next door. Welcome to the freaks of the
Speaker 1: factory floor. Get together here. Thank you for meeting. Now.
Speaker 1: We have a couple of things to go over. One
Speaker 1: we still haven't overthrown the factory. I'll leave it open
Speaker 1: to questions, suggestions. Listen, I not just you and me
Speaker 1: or not trition. I appreciate you showing up just like
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I have a crush on you, but
Speaker 1: I'm also really excited about, you know, shutting down this factory.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, I gotta crush on you too,
Speaker 1: and that's why I'm here. I know you posted this meeting,
Speaker 1: but I thought I could just be like something special
Speaker 1: for the two of us. Yeah, yes, yes it is.
Speaker 1: It's totally special. It's like totally special for the two
Speaker 1: of us. Really, are you at all interested in shutting
Speaker 1: down the factory? Though? I know what I am interested
Speaker 1: in shutting down? Yes, this is like I like my
Speaker 1: jobs now, Oh yeah, I like my job so like
Speaker 1: your whole agenda is not really for me, but like
Speaker 1: you're for me, so that's why I'm here. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah that makes sense. Okay, ship Okay, uh wow. Hey look,
Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed this time with you. Yeah, I'm so
Speaker 1: thankfully you come to my meeting. Hey you too, if
Speaker 1: you got time to chat, you got time for the
Speaker 1: vat Sorry okay, Boss, I'll get back to the van
Speaker 1: all right, or I should talk to you later see
Speaker 1: your baby. Yes, boss, I think you wanted me to
Speaker 1: come into your office. Is this the right office? Yes?
Speaker 1: Mr Peanuts, Office of cool. Mr Peanut. Erm I'm kermit.
Speaker 1: I was thank you so much for dropping by. I
Speaker 1: see by the record here that you shipped the bed
Speaker 1: beautifully today. It was an accident and honestly was an accident,
Speaker 1: wasn't it. Mr peanut. I believe I believe there's a
Speaker 1: sabotage that happened to me. I say, I believe there
Speaker 1: may be a saboteur on the floor. I was. I
Speaker 1: was doing the same shift I would usually do, and
Speaker 1: I had a hundred percent focus. Are you here to
Speaker 1: name names? I don't know the names. I do know
Speaker 1: that there was a marketing guy that was inappropriately talking
Speaker 1: to me while I was there, but I don't even
Speaker 1: know who he is, but he was in a suit
Speaker 1: and tie. All everybody, welcome to the floor or saboteurs meeting.
Speaker 1: U we to sabotage this lord, Am I right? All right? Rash?
Speaker 1: So I love your enthusiasm. Do you when I I
Speaker 1: tell you to invite the other workers? Do you ever
Speaker 1: do you pass that message on to anybody? I would
Speaker 1: never that message. Yes for me, it's that the thing
Speaker 1: is like I think, oh, you are it for me?
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, I'm trying to start a revolution here.
Speaker 1: You know. I'm trying to start a revolution as well.
Speaker 1: You are something else I can hear too. Keep your
Speaker 1: voices down. If you have time to scream, you have
Speaker 1: time to cream creaming Trish All right, boss, Yeah, we'll
Speaker 1: get your creaming. Yeah, Hi, I was looking for a
Speaker 1: very specific type of peanut butter. I saw that yourselves
Speaker 1: only have a Jiffy and plumber. I really want to
Speaker 1: I'm looking for Mr Peanuts peanuts cream, cream sauce, peanut butter,
Speaker 1: no chunk, all smooth. Uh So, I mean I was
Speaker 1: looking at your shelving and didn't seem to be in stock.
Speaker 1: I had come here before and there was Mr. Peanuts
Speaker 1: Peanut butter. Uh oh cream No, it was just smooth
Speaker 1: cream peanut butter, and I was wondering if that was
Speaker 1: something I was gonna be coming in later, or if
Speaker 1: that was something that I might need to go to
Speaker 1: another shop for. I mean, I come here because it's
Speaker 1: very close to my house and it's a convenience factor,
Speaker 1: but also because of the customer service. But if you're
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to provide me with some of
Speaker 1: the products that normally enjoy, then I'm going to have
Speaker 1: to find another opportunity to to spend my money, which
Speaker 1: is another plate. Okay, so I understand you went to
Speaker 1: the store. That's great, but why don't we use today's
Speaker 1: session for why why you keep going back looking for
Speaker 1: this peanut butter oh, I think it's something that's like
Speaker 1: important in the day to day of Is it important? Yes? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you presented as saying, I think why you to own
Speaker 1: these thoughts of yours? You believe so if you just
Speaker 1: think it's important, we're not there yet. All right, Look,
Speaker 1: thanks for coming into the station. I need you to
Speaker 1: retrace your steps, sir. So as you know, there was
Speaker 1: a lot of murders happened today, um in and around
Speaker 1: the vicinity in which you said you were spending time
Speaker 1: in someplace. So you're what you went to the peanut
Speaker 1: butter factory. Yes, so I I told you. For I
Speaker 1: was over at uh at Jibby's and I was looking for,
Speaker 1: you know, a certain kind of peanut butter, peanut butter
Speaker 1: that I really liked. And I often go there because
Speaker 1: they have what I like, and that's why I go there.
Speaker 1: It's not only the convenience factor, but it's also the
Speaker 1: customer service. You said you're a Cream's house man, is
Speaker 1: that right? That's correct? Yeah, no, chunk, just smooth, And
Speaker 1: the reason for that is that. Okay, babe, I asked
Speaker 1: you to pick up our son from daycare and you
Speaker 1: brought back a case of Mr. Peanuts, peanut butter? Now
Speaker 1: do you? I'm scared because our son has not come
Speaker 1: home and it has been ours right, and you said
Speaker 1: you were going to pick him up. I called you
Speaker 1: and you said, yes, Beth, I've got him. Now I'm
Speaker 1: starting to think that him you were referring to was
Speaker 1: the case of peanut butter? Is that right or wrong?
Speaker 1: That's that's right? Yes? So so where so? Where? All right? Sport?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to leave you here at the school.
Speaker 1: Uh I My wife's been pretty pissed if I don't
Speaker 1: come home one time. So you think you're gonna be
Speaker 1: okay until your parents pick up? Yeah, I'll be fine. Good, alright, alright, so,
Speaker 1: uh well, here's the keys to the school. Make sure
Speaker 1: you look up behind or so? Um gosh, I don't know. Goodbye?
Speaker 1: Or was I feel bad? You're not scared? Yeah? Yeah, daddy,
Speaker 1: i'd like I'd like that. Among Yeah, I mean sorry, yeah,
Speaker 1: give me my wife and I we've never been able
Speaker 1: to have kids. Okay, let me just shoot straight with you.
Speaker 1: It seems like you're shitty parents really like all right,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, But you want to call me dad?
Speaker 1: I understand that I'm a coach, I'm a coach. You
Speaker 1: want to come home and be part of my family? Huh?
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're asking, would I would love to. Uh.
Speaker 1: I thought my dad was gonna come. That he didn't come,
Speaker 1: and you know he doesn't. I thought he was too.
Speaker 1: I waited. It's well past eight o'clock. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: in trouble with my wife. Yes, yes, coach, I'll come
Speaker 1: home with you. All right. Well it's good, all right, right,
Speaker 1: so let's leave a mesffort eight and that's when you
Speaker 1: come in. Okay, calm, do you understand what time is?
Speaker 1: Who knows what the side? I don't know. That's that
Speaker 1: there could be coats outside, there could be there could
Speaker 1: be googlies screen you. Oh my god, you gotta try.
Speaker 1: I've brought a person home, okay, and I believe that
Speaker 1: maybe it can really complete us. Okay, we've always wanted
Speaker 1: to have a family. Uh huh. So this here, it's Brian. Now,
Speaker 1: Brian is a really good soccer player. And I believe
Speaker 1: he's mama pretty decent son. Oh my god, mama, your
Speaker 1: baby baby. Oh you look just like me. Oh well,
Speaker 1: so his parents didn't hope to pick him up, but
Speaker 1: I feel like we'll be better parents. Oh, Brian, can
Speaker 1: you walk? Let's say, can you do your first stance?
Speaker 1: A soccer point? Mama. I can walk, I can run,
Speaker 1: I can shoot goals. He's pretty advanced, persy. Thank you
Speaker 1: for coming into my office. Mr Mrs Stencils. Uh, you
Speaker 1: know the rules if you're if you're leave your children
Speaker 1: here past a p m. They become free property up
Speaker 1: for grabs as it was. I'm sorry you say that
Speaker 1: we know the rules, but I'm looking back. Get the
Speaker 1: contract we signed when we entered our son into the school,
Speaker 1: and that isn't about two point font at the very
Speaker 1: bottom of the page that was I mean, it's on
Speaker 1: the contract, but I can't read it. We want our
Speaker 1: son back. Where the stencils we're looking for, Brian Stencil
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, sir, I'm out of peanut butter. And that's
Speaker 1: our first thing. That is our first scene. Oh my,
Speaker 1: oh my. The stencils to come from Patroon v I
Speaker 1: P named Chris who wrote MS love the show. The
Speaker 1: new episodes are always a highlight of my week. Now
Speaker 1: let's keep this short and get into the scene. Suggestion
Speaker 1: Auction House. Thanks for all the laughs. Chris alright. Our
Speaker 1: next item will be the van Go painting. Hello, I'm
Speaker 1: just about ready to start the auction if you want to. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: This painting is entitled Hey, those are my shoes? Fifty
Speaker 1: bucks on that piece of ship. Appreciate the enthusiasm and
Speaker 1: exact gumballs. Start the bidding at fifty to gum dollars.
Speaker 1: We have fifty fifty bucks, and then you can suck
Speaker 1: my butt. This is if here is it for auction
Speaker 1: that I'm used to. I'd like to take my I
Speaker 1: would like to relinquish my my auction and different rooms.
Speaker 1: You're not. It's your bid, brother, your want to reverse
Speaker 1: my bid. This is fancy, but it doesn't know how
Speaker 1: the hell auctions were. I don't even know what the
Speaker 1: hell is going on. Brother, this is the first time.
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. I'm not going to participate you. It's unusual,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate your van. I want it. Okay, we're
Speaker 1: gonna start to restart the bidding and fift what what's
Speaker 1: the title of that van grow again? Hey, these are
Speaker 1: my shoes? Is this is that fully authenticated? All of
Speaker 1: our pieces of art have been authenticated. Yes, now is
Speaker 1: this from his ural period. I believe it is. Yes,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It looks fake to me. The press
Speaker 1: rods are not consistent with this earlier work. That's what
Speaker 1: I was spaking. Yeah, suck my butt. We have two
Speaker 1: gunballs and a butt sock so far, I'm gonna check
Speaker 1: out of a drill. Hold on, then let me get
Speaker 1: up here here all right, let me just rub on there.
Speaker 1: Oh that's real pint. Yeah, that's real point. Thank you sir.
Speaker 1: There's a again, there's an affidated on the back of
Speaker 1: all They are as uh per usual. I'm sorry. Uh.
Speaker 1: If you don't have a paddle, maybe head towards the exit.
Speaker 1: This is a South of Bay's auction, a full double
Speaker 1: paddle like you would kayak with. Thanks you man, thank
Speaker 1: you whoa. Okay, okay, uh, thanks for coming to the
Speaker 1: meeting of auction disruptors. I want to start just by
Speaker 1: saying they're no bad ideas. We're looking for any ideas
Speaker 1: at all, but the best ways to describe. Yes, perfect,
Speaker 1: what's your name? All right? Anyone else have any ideas? Yes? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I see what's happening. And kudos both of you. Uh
Speaker 1: though that's the kind of disruption am I disrupting right now. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that was not just an interruption. That was Did you
Speaker 1: have anything further you want to Nope? Already great? What
Speaker 1: can I take you anyway else? Mr Shenderlier. Sorry, the
Speaker 1: auction they didn't go the way you wanted it too.
Speaker 1: But I think that the people in there were used
Speaker 1: to auctioning. They were shouting at fifty bucks. They wanted
Speaker 1: to throw some stones in it. There was a real van.
Speaker 1: Go I see we put on a mask and we
Speaker 1: steal the van. Go, Mr Shandelier, are you showing now
Speaker 1: going there right now and kill everybody inside? Or what
Speaker 1: you mean? What kind of people say? Let's see, we
Speaker 1: put on a costume, wait for nightfall, and we sneak
Speaker 1: in and get the van. Go for ourselves, Mr Shanderlier,
Speaker 1: your wish age my command? All right? Good, good, all right,
Speaker 1: So let's pull away from the frontier that we don't
Speaker 1: So there's a phone call for you in the bat
Speaker 1: of the limits. Okay, hello, yeah, it's feel Reggie. Could
Speaker 1: you pass the phone out front? Mate? He's quite drive.
Speaker 1: I don't think he gets just passed the phone, will
Speaker 1: you mate? Okay, Well, I'm the Boston here, but I'll
Speaker 1: do it. As a favor. Right, it's still sorry, chicken,
Speaker 1: the phones for you. It doesn't reach. Oh do you
Speaker 1: mind shimming up drive? Just fine, fine, cord so shure
Speaker 1: it doesn't quite go through. Why don't you come back
Speaker 1: here and I'll sit up there for about alright, alright,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep it on the gas, alright, said, just
Speaker 1: quickly switch with me. All right, all right, wait for
Speaker 1: it and then you have it. I have it, have it? Okay. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm shock. My pot is stuck, my foot is stuck,
Speaker 1: myty stuck on my gas hold. You gotta turn it,
Speaker 1: you gotta turn then trying to turn it. This is dangerous,
Speaker 1: my baby. So many stories as we passed, so many stories. Okay,
Speaker 1: finally finally a stats. There was a little boy. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, Oh it's nice back here, hello Reggie guy.
Speaker 1: Oh are you doing not bad? Just curious what you're
Speaker 1: up to. Nothing much stopped me and the boys might
Speaker 1: come around tonight, and I have a point that I
Speaker 1: can't do that. Me and the the old hat we
Speaker 1: are dressing up as pirates and were going in sidelot
Speaker 1: place and doing a little knickknack. You and you're boss
Speaker 1: are going to rip something off it. Yeah, warning, look
Speaker 1: at the boys coming up where we meet meet right
Speaker 1: next to this a stone that looks like a horse
Speaker 1: meet there, all right, so immy the host, Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: love you che Wow. Who would have thought? Oops? These
Speaker 1: are my shoes sold for fifty six point two million.
Speaker 1: Well until the buyer picks it up tomorrow, we'll do
Speaker 1: what we usually do, which is just leaning against the
Speaker 1: wall here in the auction room. Okay, sounds good. By
Speaker 1: the way, I forgot my keys um to lock up
Speaker 1: the auction room tonight, so that's okay. I mean there's
Speaker 1: no auctions in the middle of the night, so oh yeah, wait,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. I never thought about it like
Speaker 1: that before. The odds that anyone would be showing up
Speaker 1: looking for an auction in the middle of the night
Speaker 1: are pretty slim, so you're right. Anyway, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: home by excuse me, excuse me? Yes, I'm sorry, what's up?
Speaker 1: I can I could only hear out of one year
Speaker 1: and it's not the one you think. Are there any
Speaker 1: auctions currently happened? No, so thank you why you asked that?
Speaker 1: But yeah, what's that? Sorry? I can't hear or see
Speaker 1: and it's not what you think. I there are no
Speaker 1: auctions tonight, but tomorrow there will be an auction. But
Speaker 1: I shouldn't tell you this. We're just leaving the whole
Speaker 1: thing open so you can look at the painting if
Speaker 1: you want. Um, you can just hang out here until tomorrow,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to do. Okay, I mean I would
Speaker 1: never I would. Yeah, okay, I'll just hang out here.
Speaker 1: You can go home, don't lock it up anything, Just
Speaker 1: go home. Yeah. I wasn't gonna lock it up. I'll
Speaker 1: just go home. I'll see you tomorrow when I back. Okay, alright, bye,
Speaker 1: love you. Oh yeah, I hit the check. Mrs Mrs Stossaby,
Speaker 1: Mrs Stossaby, I hate to wake you at such an
Speaker 1: irregular but there seems to be a problem in one
Speaker 1: of the auction houses. Yes, what what is it? Well,
Speaker 1: it seems as though that day is a breaking has
Speaker 1: occurred and one of van Go's most precious paintings, the
Speaker 1: foot one, has been So are you referring to oops
Speaker 1: these are my shoes? Yes? Yes, shoes, yes, I say feet,
Speaker 1: shoes so you can understand from a period, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: but you you see how I the shoes in the
Speaker 1: feet you see where I was. You see how to disconnect?
Speaker 1: But the connection? How about your wavelength? Yes? Yes, okay, fantastic.
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, right, just to be clear. I
Speaker 1: don't know. But the perfect information is there's been a
Speaker 1: breaking and somebody's stolen this. Yes, the shoe one? Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I understand. All right, Mr Shandel Lair. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: black market. So you got a painting you would like
Speaker 1: to sell? Is that right? I do. It's a very
Speaker 1: fancy painting. But this is all off the record, right
Speaker 1: like I'd rather you not use my real name. Look
Speaker 1: all right, I'm surprised you got it. Who gave you
Speaker 1: my real name? Reggie? Yeah, that guy right there with
Speaker 1: a cigarette, give him a fake name. Give me the goods.
Speaker 1: Let's let's inspect this here. Let's take a look at
Speaker 1: what you guy. He's folded up. Let me on, here
Speaker 1: we go where you folded the painting up? We had
Speaker 1: to sneak it out. Okay, no, all right, you can leave.
Speaker 1: What this is a painting? Alright? Alright, alright, it's it's
Speaker 1: been folded. And let me see what we can do here.
Speaker 1: So there's a big crease going across the center. Oh
Speaker 1: you know what it looks like. Somebody's spat right here
Speaker 1: to try to check the paint. That must be what
Speaker 1: it was like. That was what it was like when
Speaker 1: I got it. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just saying probably
Speaker 1: Mr Van did. Okay, I'm gonna give you a I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you a black market fair price right now. Okay, good, good, good, good,
Speaker 1: we got I'm thinking two gumballs and I suck your butt.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I will give you two gumballs plus I
Speaker 1: will suck your butt. I do it, I do it.
Speaker 1: Reggie can stay out of this. This discuss me worth
Speaker 1: more than this. I heard that this sold for fifty
Speaker 1: two something million dollars yesterday, down to three two gumballs.
Speaker 1: It was really a precrease I'm guessing and uh and
Speaker 1: pre pre paint testing it with this. It was not
Speaker 1: pre paint testing because it was like that when I
Speaker 1: picked it up, fine, before it was folded. Look, you're
Speaker 1: free to go to the other markets. Okay, you came
Speaker 1: to the black market here. Okay, all right, you're right,
Speaker 1: you're right. What do you know. I'm gonna jump. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna change my offer. One gumball and you suck my butt. Yeah, Reggie,
Speaker 1: what's up you guys have to say about that shy
Speaker 1: one gumball? I mean, we were told that work and
Speaker 1: then they're not even gonna give us two gumbles. Like Reggie,
Speaker 1: it was your friends that showed up that folded this
Speaker 1: thing in half. I had a big fan and you
Speaker 1: guys folded it and it's this is ridiculous. Listen. I
Speaker 1: don't mean to do this, but the black Market is
Speaker 1: about the close up. We've got to close up shop tonight.
Speaker 1: We're actually closed. Um so this is about do you
Speaker 1: all do Organs? Yeah? Yeah, Yeah, that's the that's the
Speaker 1: Boothbrenning store. His name's Charles. He might be closed also
Speaker 1: if you want to check him out before before he leaves. Maybe.
Speaker 1: Al Right, guys, well it was a nice vite, Mr Shandon.
Speaker 1: Now if you'll follow me to the next gallery, we're
Speaker 1: going to see one of Van Gogh's most impressive paintings.
Speaker 1: These are my shoes. As you know, van go died
Speaker 1: without ever having sold a painting, and his brother Teo
Speaker 1: was able to keep Yes, I am the docents. Hear
Speaker 1: his brother Teo saved all his paintings, and if if
Speaker 1: Vincent had known that this painting had sold for two
Speaker 1: his name was really Teo? Is that for real? If
Speaker 1: Vincent had known this was sold for two gunballs and
Speaker 1: a butt suck, Uh, it probably would have made his day.
Speaker 1: You know, I actually know a lot about this painting,
Speaker 1: if you don't mind me jumping in here for a second,
Speaker 1: from this man, yeah, the year, from the man that
Speaker 1: just volunteered to speak up. What's at him? Talk? So
Speaker 1: actually the painting itself is actually, uh, it's not actually
Speaker 1: what you would think of, because the wood is that
Speaker 1: I found from a very specific part of the Dutch Republic,
Speaker 1: that is in the in the center of dutch Land.
Speaker 1: There's this very specific there's this no country called Dutchland. No,
Speaker 1: I've heard of that place. Keep going, Deutschland is Germany,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Let's the other guy talk dutch Land. Alright, fine? Fine?
Speaker 1: What else do you know? I know that specifically speaking
Speaker 1: of a certain kind of wood using for the aims
Speaker 1: like it helps express the different colors using the paint scheme,
Speaker 1: for instance, like did you know what what about peanut butter?
Speaker 1: First off, peanut butter comes and chunky and smooth, but
Speaker 1: you can also look Paul you've been a decent docent
Speaker 1: for as long as you've been here. I'm the most
Speaker 1: decent docent. You just lost your job. How that guy
Speaker 1: came in hot? And you know lies? This is just
Speaker 1: like a ball field every day you're competing for your position, Paul. Look,
Speaker 1: is it is it better to have a knowledgeable person
Speaker 1: who's occasionally a little tentative or somebody who's big and
Speaker 1: loud and wrong. What do you think beg and loud
Speaker 1: and wrong? Listen, listen, you're a decent dose. But I
Speaker 1: heard about you losing the dose and job, and I'm
Speaker 1: sorry to do this, but we're gonna have to kick
Speaker 1: you out of your apartment. What I owned this apartment?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. We just can't have that. The block just
Speaker 1: can't can't have somebody who lost their dose in job
Speaker 1: and just dropping the property value. How is it dropping
Speaker 1: the property value? Paul? I don't want to have this conversation.
Speaker 1: Hi are you? Paul? Yes, sorry to trouble you, sir.
Speaker 1: I'm sent here from the mall, and we're here to
Speaker 1: get your clothing. My clothing. Yeah, several of the stores
Speaker 1: got together and or your shop apparently, and we want
Speaker 1: to start with there's two two Brooks brothers suits and
Speaker 1: uh and some shoes. Okay, so all the different retail
Speaker 1: outlets at the mall individually want clothes that I purchased
Speaker 1: years ago back. Does this have anything to do with
Speaker 1: me losing my job as a docent. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to say whether or not you're a decent dozen. I
Speaker 1: was a decent do it? Apparently you were decent enough
Speaker 1: to buy all these clothes and now uh, your you
Speaker 1: need return. Excuse me, are you? Paul? Yes? Okay, Paul,
Speaker 1: I just you do inform me that you're losing your citizenship?
Speaker 1: What now? I understand you that you are a natural
Speaker 1: born citizen, but you need to leave. Who authorized this? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't need to tell you who authorized it,
Speaker 1: but I heard you lost your DOS and ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm Paul. Welcome to dutch Land. We are happy to
Speaker 1: have you. We are very excited. All all seven of
Speaker 1: the people who live on dutch Land are here to
Speaker 1: greet you today. Say hi, everybody, Well, this is truly
Speaker 1: humbling to learn that dutch Land is indeed a country.
Speaker 1: But thank thank you for taking me under your wing.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, I don't what what know you what is
Speaker 1: dutch Land not a country? It is, but you didn't know.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well this turned quickly, So Paul, I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to smuggle you out of Dutch Ladys there right, Yes,
Speaker 1: let's get me the funk out of here. The only
Speaker 1: way we're gonna be able to do that is with
Speaker 1: you in this box. And the only way you're gonna
Speaker 1: fit is if I cout off your arms in your legs. Now,
Speaker 1: you know I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay in dutch Land.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not agreeing to those terms, all right.
Speaker 1: First of all, dutch Lands like fifty square feet. There's
Speaker 1: only seven other people here. They can all they're watching
Speaker 1: this talk right now. It's a violent country. Pool it is.
Speaker 1: It is a violent country. But I'm not willing to
Speaker 1: lose all of my limbs. Maybe you have. I'm through
Speaker 1: answering questions about COVID. I'm happy to change the subject
Speaker 1: now to the decent does and the weather, and I
Speaker 1: would bring the back to the United States. Mr President,
Speaker 1: Mr President, Mr President, Mr President Mr President Kurt Berger
Speaker 1: for mayonnaise and other uh. Paul, the Doson has now
Speaker 1: been removed from the country. He's not a citizen. But
Speaker 1: there has been a petition and so far there has
Speaker 1: been six thousand signatures to bring him back and naturalize him.
Speaker 1: What do you say to that, does somebody have a
Speaker 1: cut that I can take a quick nap during this
Speaker 1: President news group question question Hi Kyle dun again comic
Speaker 1: stopped laughing and ask the question the best got the best?
Speaker 1: First of all, check out my instagram. It's hilarious. Second question,
Speaker 1: is it true that you are in bed with big Mall?
Speaker 1: Um malls seems to be um acting on it's on
Speaker 1: lately with a lot of power. We want to know
Speaker 1: where mall gets off. We got the best malls in
Speaker 1: this country, the simply the best uh no mills in
Speaker 1: any other country can compete with ozz In the best
Speaker 1: US So yes, next question, Mr President, crew question question
Speaker 1: any questions? Question, Mr President. I think these are the
Speaker 1: auction disruptors that were out all right, that's it today. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what one last question from from from from
Speaker 1: the womanful suck my butt? Okay, Mr President? Quick, quick, quick,
Speaker 1: These are disruptors and that has seen too everybody. Oh
Speaker 1: the decent dosing what would we do without him? Seen
Speaker 1: to me? Comes to us from Tony, who wrote, good Morning,
Speaker 1: Afternoon Evening Alchemist. My name is Tony and I live
Speaker 1: in Orlando, Florida. I've been listening to your podcast since
Speaker 1: it first came out, and I love every senior. Guys,
Speaker 1: do never a disappointment. You guys truly tickle my fancy,
Speaker 1: which is not easily tickle. I used to have a
Speaker 1: favorite Alchemist, but decided long ago that I enjoy all
Speaker 1: of you. Now let me get to the suggestion, because
Speaker 1: I could go on and on and on for quite
Speaker 1: some time. Clearly that is true. My scene suggestion is simple.
Speaker 1: An employee of a fast food taco place hates his
Speaker 1: job at the drive through window, then gets promoted to supervisor.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for the laughs while I drive all
Speaker 1: over central Florida cleaning the carpets of rich assholes. Tony, Hi, Um, sorry,
Speaker 1: I mean my friend don't know what we want yet?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Sorry. We should have prepared this before
Speaker 1: we got here. The options. Um, don't you want to
Speaker 1: split something? Yeah, let's like split something. We could get
Speaker 1: like a five piece, but then we'd have to split
Speaker 1: one of the tenders and half. Oh my god, yeah, sorry, Um,
Speaker 1: can we get like we see the five piece, but
Speaker 1: can you make it either like a four piece or
Speaker 1: a six piece? I know that's not an option, but um,
Speaker 1: it's like hard for my friend and I to split. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we would really love that. Sorry and reaching over you back? No, No,
Speaker 1: it's okay. Reach over. Reach over actually kind of like
Speaker 1: when you reach over me. So do whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do. Okay, I'll reach over. You also want a milkshake,
Speaker 1: but we don't want to full small, We want to
Speaker 1: split in half. Can you do make it? Sorry? I
Speaker 1: think that your voice actually got less easy to understand,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I don't know, go
Speaker 1: further or closer to the microphone, but we just want
Speaker 1: to know if we can have the small milkshake split? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Make it diet, Yeah, make it diet. You want you want?
Speaker 1: You want a mattress? Do we want a mattress? I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean maybe yeah, I was looking for a new one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you split the mattress? Every order comes with the
Speaker 1: temper pedic match were to competing mattrics. So if you
Speaker 1: want you want the mattresses, freaks on the folkwag and
Speaker 1: take your time for fox. Say, oh my god? Is
Speaker 1: that your is that your I mean it sounds fucking
Speaker 1: like it sounds like a dick wad, like the funk
Speaker 1: I was dating before. Oh my god, you're right, and
Speaker 1: it does. And he's driving that nasty uma like the
Speaker 1: sact that he chopped. I know, I told him to
Speaker 1: split it, but the fact that he split up all
Speaker 1: those cars and put him together, like, who is he?
Speaker 1: I mean, he's just freak. I can't believe you almost
Speaker 1: married him. That was crazy and then it let's do
Speaker 1: it again, all right? Sure, Well, I mean I'm just
Speaker 1: judging by the safety of your vehicle here. Uh looks
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of pieces from different cars put together.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I can't say that this is the
Speaker 1: highway or or or city safety pass. I'm sorry, my
Speaker 1: head just kind of out of it. I uh, I
Speaker 1: recently started uh looking up different ways to connect insects.
Speaker 1: To make a long story short, I'm trying to read
Speaker 1: what a hey buddy, Hey buddy, you want to take
Speaker 1: a knee? Yeah? I just had a little lightheaded eye. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Uh can water? No, no water, mountain
Speaker 1: do Monta do dead? What are you? What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? We're sitting in the back of the car.
Speaker 1: I think we have a breastaurant back here. I have
Speaker 1: a little bit of water. You can get him out
Speaker 1: and do for this guy? JA get from I can
Speaker 1: go to the store. I'll walked at the store. Oh
Speaker 1: is that your boy? Yeah, that's my eldest. I had
Speaker 1: a son and I left him at school and then
Speaker 1: they just took him away from me. And uh think
Speaker 1: about that every day. So that's in the rules. I
Speaker 1: know that. I know that. Oh my gosh, man, my
Speaker 1: head is getting It feels lighter than it normally does.
Speaker 1: How much would you say it normally feels how how much?
Speaker 1: Wait are we talking about? My head normally feels sixty
Speaker 1: seventy pounds and now it feels like two ounces three right?
Speaker 1: That is lighter. That's considered lighter. Hi. Um, I'm looking
Speaker 1: for your mountain dew? Uh huh? Can you point? Can
Speaker 1: you point me to the mountain dew? It's pretty intuitive.
Speaker 1: M hm. Do you see that giant section says soda
Speaker 1: where it's about your twelve o'clock. You're at twelve o'clock.
Speaker 1: You'll call me at twelve o'clock. Sent a pitch because
Speaker 1: people like you that ruined this country. What are you
Speaker 1: getting a mountain do huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been
Speaker 1: looking for mountain dow NEOs. I like the Mountain Red.
Speaker 1: I think that's going to get classic. Huh. I think
Speaker 1: I just need a classic mountain de What did you
Speaker 1: say to me? Huh? What? Don't push me? What the
Speaker 1: fund did you say to me? You you're you're just
Speaker 1: like the other guy twelve o'clocks. What Okay, I'm taking
Speaker 1: this mountain dude, I'm not paying for it. Fine, get
Speaker 1: out of here. Fine, you get out of here. I
Speaker 1: work here. Cool. You just giving away free sodas. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's better than dealing with you. Okay, that's hurtful. Out
Speaker 1: the door. It's at your six o'clock. Hey, Jim, thanks
Speaker 1: for coming in today. I just wanted to go over
Speaker 1: your semiannual. It looks like, oh uh, you're giving away sodas?
Speaker 1: Is that right? I gave away one soda in March. Okay,
Speaker 1: I just a pattern. Right. There wasn't a report for
Speaker 1: why that soda was given away, and I was just
Speaker 1: curious if you wanted to maybe explain. Look, there was
Speaker 1: a guy coming in. He he couldn't identify basic directions
Speaker 1: based on the face of a clock. Uh, which do
Speaker 1: you mean? Example? Uh, look to your three o'clock. Okay,
Speaker 1: you said that to a to a customer. Did those
Speaker 1: exact words, looked to here at three o'clock? What do
Speaker 1: you know what that means? Do I know it? Look
Speaker 1: to my three oclock me? Do east? Typically to your right.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go directly to my right. What about seven o'clock?
Speaker 1: I'm feeling like down there on the left a little bit? Yeah?
Speaker 1: There you so. Yeah. Even if you've never heard it before,
Speaker 1: it's fairly intuitive. You picture a clock around you, and
Speaker 1: you look to the number that's right straight ahead is twelve,
Speaker 1: and then the clock. I would look up your twelve.
Speaker 1: I feel like I would look up for twelve. I
Speaker 1: can't think because we associate the sun being at its
Speaker 1: highest point at the sky at noon. Here, here's a soda, Dad,
Speaker 1: I got it. Hey, hey, doll face, there's your mountain dew.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Why did you call? Are you? What's going on? Dad?
Speaker 1: You're calling the cop, doll face. I didn't know he
Speaker 1: was a cop. I'm not a cop. I thought you
Speaker 1: pulled us over earlier to tell us about his car
Speaker 1: was pieced together. I did, I did you're not a cop? No, no, wait,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Then? I just drive around and uh,
Speaker 1: kind of from the back of cars I'm driving around,
Speaker 1: I inspect him and I asked people to pull over
Speaker 1: and h Granted, my car looks like a cop car,
Speaker 1: but that's just the color scheme. But I'm not personal
Speaker 1: an offericer. I never said I was. That's all all
Speaker 1: you'all believe. And I was the same. Upset, sir, I'm
Speaker 1: a little upset because I am a little up that
Speaker 1: all right. If I gotta be honest, I am good.
Speaker 1: I need you to step away from the delivery window
Speaker 1: really quick. Uh? Could you? Could you please step over here.
Speaker 1: I don't think that you're cut out to be the
Speaker 1: voice of this taco place. I really the problem is
Speaker 1: it's hard to understand you, okay. Uh, And we've been
Speaker 1: given away tempera pedic masters is out this window, and
Speaker 1: it's just not working out. All right, you see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I've promised your mother I wouldn't I
Speaker 1: wouldn't fire you. So I think we're gonna have to
Speaker 1: give you a little bump. Are you ready for a
Speaker 1: little bump? Hold? You're making it hard on me. Tod.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. I can't whoop the other way
Speaker 1: when you're asking if I'm talking about cocaine, when I
Speaker 1: talk about a bump, I'm talking about a rate. A
Speaker 1: new position. You can't be at the window. Okay. So
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do was I mean, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: assistant manager. I need you just stay in the office
Speaker 1: in the back. I'd like you to interact with people
Speaker 1: as little as possible. Okay. So I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: understand you can't understand you. So I'm gonna need you
Speaker 1: to Okay, this is the office you'll be in. It
Speaker 1: looks like a broom closet, but it's an office. Okay. Listen, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: ever listen to tempera Pedic. Okay, listen, everybody in temper
Speaker 1: pedick here. Okay. We we gotta focus up. Our sales
Speaker 1: are not going through the roof. We're moving product, but
Speaker 1: we're not making money. What the fund is going on?
Speaker 1: I'm I guess I'm just confused because at our last
Speaker 1: meeting you said you wanted to move as much product
Speaker 1: as humanly possible, and that's what we did. You didn't
Speaker 1: say anything about selling them Okay, well that's what what
Speaker 1: do you think I meant? Huh, I'm with Lisa. You said, move, sir, move,
Speaker 1: we did. We got that ship out of here, stupid apple. Okay.
Speaker 1: We've got a promotional partnership with Ding Dong Tacos, that
Speaker 1: place that only sells tacos and milkshakes, and whenever when everybody,
Speaker 1: somebody gets a milkshake, we give him a free mattress. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: well maybe you should do something where they have to
Speaker 1: pay for the mattress. Uh, maybe we think about that.
Speaker 1: Maybe they pay for the mattress and they get the
Speaker 1: tacos are free. Look, so I think we're fine with that.
Speaker 1: What we're kind of uncomfortable with and correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong, fellow employees. But um, you're like coming in
Speaker 1: very hot, you know what I mean. You're really angry
Speaker 1: at us. You're showing a lot of anger, and we
Speaker 1: want to solve this again, I'm standing solidarity and sir. Also,
Speaker 1: if I may, you've got a little something on your
Speaker 1: checking face, on your cheek. Yeah, it's a leech on
Speaker 1: blood letting, Thank you very much. Okay, so why don't
Speaker 1: we just let's let that go? Okay, let the leech
Speaker 1: go on your face as hr. Yeah, I just want
Speaker 1: to reiterate. You are coming in a little hot right now,
Speaker 1: so if you could just die that back a little
Speaker 1: but uh so I can't come in so oh so
Speaker 1: you're yelling. This is a safe space here, okay, So
Speaker 1: if you want to have a conversation, let's converse in
Speaker 1: tones that we can all take in. Okay. If we
Speaker 1: have time for yelling, we have time for selling. The
Speaker 1: leach just went in your mouth, by the way, so
Speaker 1: uh so, yeah, I liked what I saw in that
Speaker 1: dating app. I didn't know you'd be bringing a friend.
Speaker 1: You said you'd like to split things, so I thought
Speaker 1: I would see what is up? Yeah, it's my friends everywhere? Hey,
Speaker 1: what's up? Cool? Cool? I'm happy to buy drinks for
Speaker 1: the table, you know what I mean? I don't. I
Speaker 1: want to just buy you drinks if you want to
Speaker 1: drink bath, you know whatever, if I want to if
Speaker 1: I want to drink bath. Gross, But oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're free. You match with such a freak. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: this guy right, people like he is a freak. Yeah, mostly,
Speaker 1: will you split our drinks me? Yeah? I mean I'll
Speaker 1: order I'll order here. Let me call the waiter over. Hey, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm Paul. Let me tell you a little bit
Speaker 1: about the history of the restaurant established in as A.
Speaker 1: As you can see, I got a couple of ladies
Speaker 1: with me and they want something and they want it now.
Speaker 1: Can we get them a split drink? A split drink? Yeah? Yeah, okay?
Speaker 1: And for you, sir, nothing okay, so yeah, sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: just want to point how cool this is. Are you
Speaker 1: one of those guys who goes out with women and
Speaker 1: they get really drunk and you don't drink anything at all?
Speaker 1: I think that's really hot and cool. Yeah, oh my god, spook, Yes,
Speaker 1: a freak. Yes, if you have no idea, Bob, I'm
Speaker 1: looking over it to nitric seats and you split a drink? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is there anything wrong with that? Yeah, there's something wrong
Speaker 1: with that. I'm gonna have to let you go. I
Speaker 1: just come my citizen chip back, just god by citizen
Speaker 1: chip back. I mean you can get another excuse me, Paul, Yes, Paul,
Speaker 1: is this Paul? Are you back in my office? Pot country?
Speaker 1: But let me just tell you your citizenship is a
Speaker 1: vote again on the street. Is you split a drink?
Speaker 1: I don't see why that's a problem. If you can't
Speaker 1: see why it's a problem, that's the reason why it's
Speaker 1: the problem. Well, well, it looks like you're back, Mike,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be shaving up your arms and
Speaker 1: then you like, and then I'll be putting this books here,
Speaker 1: shipping you right back across the border as I see him.
Speaker 1: Just fine, whatever, just don't tell, don't tell, unique Low.
Speaker 1: I have this t shirts because they want it back.
Speaker 1: But I need to wear something, Okay, I canna need it? Ah,
Speaker 1: where is my anaesthesia? It looks like I don't have any?
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna have to do this old fishing.
Speaker 1: Why down on this metal road metal you don't have
Speaker 1: a wooden stick or anything. And now I'm at that time.
Speaker 1: All right, at least I shared my teeth on the
Speaker 1: middle and I'm talking. I gotta thank us, all right?
Speaker 1: All right? What are there? What are the leeches here?
Speaker 1: My friends? I'm big, you're gonna stop. That excess blatant
Speaker 1: is gonna come out from all the otteries. And I'm
Speaker 1: snipping right now. You got thick bounds mine. It's my
Speaker 1: it's my Dutch heritage. Yeah, well, I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: able to cut through with this or I'll be back.
Speaker 1: I'll be back tomorrow. I'm just gonna lie down on
Speaker 1: this temperabetic mattress. So you came back to Dutch Land.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I'm not willingly. It's not willingly. The seven
Speaker 1: of us were thinking, maybe you don't leave, fine, like,
Speaker 1: just do whatever you need to with me. You do? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well that's it's good to feel like I belong in
Speaker 1: a community for once. It's been fully ostracized in America. Yeah, everybody,
Speaker 1: we guess. So oops. So those your shoes? Ah, that's
Speaker 1: the question. They are my shoes. I mean I'm wearing them, right,
Speaker 1: You got to keep your shoes? Well I didn't get
Speaker 1: them at the mall. Uh, you got them at the airport. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's their airport shoes. There's someone here from the airport
Speaker 1: that wants to talk to you. What Hi, I'm with
Speaker 1: T S a UM and I'm gonna need to confien
Speaker 1: skate confidence skate your shoes. It's a little bit different
Speaker 1: from the usual confiscation, but it's kind of how we
Speaker 1: do things at the airport. I have your shoes, please, okay,
Speaker 1: And then you're just going to run him through the
Speaker 1: machine and make sure that I don't have a bomb
Speaker 1: in them and give them back to me all that,
Speaker 1: but you won't be getting them back. Oh Jesus, these
Speaker 1: are over four ounces and you can't carry that on
Speaker 1: an airport. That makes all shoes are over four ounces.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't know what kind of rules you
Speaker 1: or what you think you know, but I have to
Speaker 1: confiscate these. These are Jesus. One guy tried to blow
Speaker 1: up his shoes one time, and now the rest of us,
Speaker 1: for the rest of time, I have to take our shoes. Yeah, exactly, sir,
Speaker 1: Thank you. He's here, by the way, what the shoe bout? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's now a resident of dutch Land. Oh great, would
Speaker 1: you like to meet him? No, Steve, Hey, you're famous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, another American. This guy knows who you are.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're the guy that Wait, you used to
Speaker 1: be a decent dude, didn't you. Yes, I still have
Speaker 1: a decent dose and I just don't have a job.
Speaker 1: Oh and you're not the guy I was thinking of,
Speaker 1: because you have a different name and backstory. But but
Speaker 1: I guess I wasn't the original shoe bomber, but you
Speaker 1: were nuts. I mean I was one of them, just
Speaker 1: not the original. Also, there were more than one shoe bomber.
Speaker 1: Jesus Lion is insane. I mean, should we just pull
Speaker 1: out of here and go down the taco place or
Speaker 1: what I mean? We've been sitting here for like it
Speaker 1: feels like thirty minutes just to order a guy damn taco.
Speaker 1: What's your hurry? It's a taco, will get it eventually?
Speaker 1: Will you'm here because it's fast food? I'm not here
Speaker 1: because I'm like if I want to, have you seen
Speaker 1: how hot these chicks are in the fucking Volkswagen just
Speaker 1: chill already? You mean the back of their heads? No,
Speaker 1: I haven't. I can't. I can't clock that. You can't. Alright, fine,
Speaker 1: why don't you know what? Let's go up and talk
Speaker 1: to them and see if they have any card trouble.
Speaker 1: Maybe what that leads to something else? You want to?
Speaker 1: What do you talk about? What you That's at least
Speaker 1: we can get out of the car and breathe some
Speaker 1: fresh air and also get an update and what the
Speaker 1: fox is going on? Kyle? You've been single for maybe
Speaker 1: two weeks. Dude, you need to chill out. That's you
Speaker 1: don't talk to women just in a in a line.
Speaker 1: That's that's so scary. Okay, all right, I've been married
Speaker 1: twenty seven years. I don't know how things work anymore.
Speaker 1: Let's go schoo up and say hello. Well the funk
Speaker 1: was that? Okay twenty seven years ago? Was that? Okay,
Speaker 1: you're in line somewhere in a car you would walk
Speaker 1: up to absolute strangers and say hello and introduce yourself
Speaker 1: and get to know the messing with their interests? Are
Speaker 1: so there's what a car when two cars apart, you
Speaker 1: would do that? You just get it, like, I stop sign?
Speaker 1: Are you so combative? What is this really? I need
Speaker 1: a taco? Dude, it's been thirty minutes, all right, I
Speaker 1: need a Yes, Okay, well, why don't we go park
Speaker 1: the car and go inside and get in line? Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: all right, Jesus, I can't reverse. We're blocked in. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go talk. I'm gonna go talk to these, to
Speaker 1: the women in the folks like Kyle, Kyle, Hey, how
Speaker 1: are you too today? Um? We're okay. We're actually just
Speaker 1: kind of in the middle of ordering right now. But
Speaker 1: if you want to talk to us, I guess that's fine. Well,
Speaker 1: just so curious. Maybe if I could slip in an order.
Speaker 1: We're in the car behind you. If we could just
Speaker 1: sort of piggyback, as it were, and let you know
Speaker 1: what we wanted to eat, and you could add it
Speaker 1: to your order and then we'll pay for the whole thing. Wow, wow, wow,
Speaker 1: bet you here this guy? What the second audacity of
Speaker 1: this guy to come up here and try to slip
Speaker 1: it an order? Yeah, that's really gross. Actually that's not Okay,
Speaker 1: it's twenties. I was seen hoping to buy your lunch.
Speaker 1: That's really what I was trying. But you use the
Speaker 1: word slip in, you know what I mean. I didn't
Speaker 1: say slip it in. I think that would be well,
Speaker 1: now you just did, though you can't. We can't be bught. Okay,
Speaker 1: we can trying to buy our lunch. Yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Can we keep this line? Movie? If you got time
Speaker 1: to talk? Your time for tacos? So what are you
Speaker 1: two having? Well, we're thinking about a five. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: before or six, and we're spending a small milkshake and
Speaker 1: we're also spending so so what's your problem in there
Speaker 1: with that order? Assistant assist's office, I'm t having a
Speaker 1: hard time with a temper pedic mattress through the window.
Speaker 1: It won't quite fold right, it would be in yeah today,
Speaker 1: oh slipped it in. Just let's thank all of our alchemis,
Speaker 1: shall we please, starting with Mr James Heeney. James, we've
Speaker 1: missed you. Please come back soon. It's been fun. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to come back on the regular. Yes, please
Speaker 1: stay safe out there. And thanks for not wearing a mask. Oh,
Speaker 1: thank you, well I am. I am actually wearing a mask,
Speaker 1: just not in a zoom call ah copy, got you man. Thanks,
Speaker 1: good to see you again. Jackie you wait. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. I hope you had fun.
Speaker 1: I'm blast. Thanks, loved it, loved every damn minute of it.
Speaker 1: Please come back, come back whenever you want me. Okay,
Speaker 1: fair enough? Is there anything you would like folks to
Speaker 1: know about in terms of your creativity outside of this
Speaker 1: particular zoom hang, outside of the zoom hang my creativity.
Speaker 1: It's me in the middle of a Gilma Girls marathon.
Speaker 1: You can find on Instagram at my handle is at
Speaker 1: b ok j A c K seventy six or just
Speaker 1: typing my name Jacqueline uway all right, perfect, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much and enjoy the rest of you. Give more girls.
Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, thank you for having me. Always a pleasure.
Speaker 1: I had fun improvising with this group, and I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I would love to be Okay, I'm done talking. Sometimes
Speaker 1: we're just spent at the end of this session. Caroline Cotter, Yeah,
Speaker 1: uh so nice to have you with us again. And um,
Speaker 1: where can folks find you on the interwebs and whatnots Um,
Speaker 1: I guess just Carter poop, but it doesn't matter at
Speaker 1: Cotter poop. But it doesn't matter. That's a new baking
Speaker 1: show you're doing right. It's really sad you're showing folks
Speaker 1: how to make a sour dough starter kit. That's cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess. Craig KURKASKI, Hey, uh, please stop using phrase
Speaker 1: begging the question to mean makes one wonder or prompts
Speaker 1: one to ask. Begging the question is a specific logical
Speaker 1: fallacy about circular reasoning. Appreciate that I always like to
Speaker 1: end these with some sort of input on terminology that
Speaker 1: people are misusing. And that was a great one. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Joey Grey. Anything you want to add to that, uh,
Speaker 1: let's see. Um kind of want to jump on that.
Speaker 1: That awesome train with Craig So the Sumerians um I
Speaker 1: was watching to talk about them. The greatest wrap up ever.
Speaker 1: Let's give a big shout out to our producer of
Speaker 1: the Stars and engineering Mr Doug Babe and the fine
Speaker 1: folks that I heart media and thank all of you.
Speaker 1: Please be safe and healthy out there and do the
Speaker 1: smart thing and put a mask on when you go outside.
Speaker 1: Let's look after each other, damnit, please is and be
Speaker 1: kind to each other. Let's try that one. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Thanks again. Until next time, I'll come on