Speaker 1: What up Fucker's It's Christina Hutchinson Fisher. You're about to
Speaker 1: listen to a clip from our podcast, Guys, We Fucked
Speaker 1: the anti slut shaming podcasts. It's with guests Liz Mealy
Speaker 1: and she's a comedian and we talk about all kinds
Speaker 1: of ships, like being a woman in comedy and also
Speaker 1: child to trauma. So check it the funk out. If
Speaker 1: you want to listen to more, you're gonna go to
Speaker 1: Luminary Podcasts dot com and you can get a subscription
Speaker 1: for as low as two nine nine a month. What
Speaker 1: really sucks is I feel like almost the same way
Speaker 1: like having panic attacks, whether they're sober or not sober,
Speaker 1: Like the longer I go without one, the more I
Speaker 1: And this is probably very unhealthy. I think about my growth.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I have a panic attack in two years,
Speaker 1: I'm so much healthier. I hadn't had a meltdown, I
Speaker 1: would say in like four years, like truly like at
Speaker 1: no little baby ones, but like really no like ones
Speaker 1: that like I would be really embarrassed about. And then
Speaker 1: I had one maybe like six months ago, like a
Speaker 1: couple of months before the pandemic. I screamed, it felt right. Um,
Speaker 1: if I if I could stick up for myself even
Speaker 1: though I'm very embarrassed. Um it was his fault. Um,
Speaker 1: but I was. I was parallel parking. I live. Um,
Speaker 1: I live in Brooklyn where there's like side streets, and
Speaker 1: so parking will at night a rage if you have it. Also,
Speaker 1: so these side streets, so highway and then side streets,
Speaker 1: and it's car parked. You can only go car parked.
Speaker 1: So what I do when I'm parallel parking is I
Speaker 1: put my you know, I see a spot, I put
Speaker 1: my blinker on and then you have to go up
Speaker 1: to back in. So I put the blinker on so
Speaker 1: they know. But a people rush down this this service street.
Speaker 1: But also like you can't be on my ass, so
Speaker 1: I go and you know what you're fucking doing when
Speaker 1: you're doing that, dude, and it's on my street, which
Speaker 1: is like a gift. It's a gift. I don't believe.
Speaker 1: I don't truly America. I don't have any like higher
Speaker 1: power beliefs, but I do feel like it's something like
Speaker 1: it's just I was not These are my karma points.
Speaker 1: Like I know that's like the white lady thing way
Speaker 1: of thinking of it, but every time I get a
Speaker 1: parking spot in my street. And I raised my siblings.
Speaker 1: I was like a kid, like truly, and my favorite.
Speaker 1: It's like they're my favorite. Like when when you make
Speaker 1: a train, like you do a midnight spot and then
Speaker 1: the train shows up and you don't have to wait
Speaker 1: for the train. Like I'm like, I earned that. I
Speaker 1: don't know how I earned that, but I earned that.
Speaker 1: Little that's like a little ownership over like a spot
Speaker 1: on your own block, Like this is kind of my property.
Speaker 1: I don't own at all, but it's kind of like
Speaker 1: more mine than yours. Yeah, and it's really and when
Speaker 1: you miss the spot, like there's this guy try to
Speaker 1: get into your spot. As you pulled ahead and try
Speaker 1: to get into it. He was put he was rushing me.
Speaker 1: He was like, you don't. I don't give a funk
Speaker 1: that you're trying to park. So I pull up. He
Speaker 1: pulls up behind me. I pull up. People's up behind
Speaker 1: me and a funk and I beat. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? And he goes and I rolled on
Speaker 1: my windows and and and I'm like I know enough
Speaker 1: not to be an idiot. So I have like half
Speaker 1: my body out the window and I'm like, what the
Speaker 1: funk are you doing? And he's like go and I go, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm clearly trying to fucking parallel park. Fucking stay where
Speaker 1: you are so I can fucking park. So I move up.
Speaker 1: He moves up behind me. I put my car and park.
Speaker 1: I get out of my car. I don't go to
Speaker 1: his car. I stand outside my car and I scream
Speaker 1: to the point where my body is shaking. And like
Speaker 1: I said, I'm on a highway, so there's people walking,
Speaker 1: they see me, and I'll keep in mind, there was
Speaker 1: a guy there was a cab in front of me
Speaker 1: that had just parked, so he like half the reason
Speaker 1: I was waiting for a little bit was so I
Speaker 1: didn't hit this guys that got out of his car
Speaker 1: because I had to go up right next to him.
Speaker 1: So this guy, unbeknownst to me, because I'm in my
Speaker 1: I'm enraged, is seeing this and I'm screaming, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you fucking and he has like a woman next to
Speaker 1: her in the car and she's sinking lower and noycy.
Speaker 1: I was like, your fucking selfish cock. Fuck. Yes, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I was like, I'm never gonna move. Do
Speaker 1: you understand that you could have if you're in a rush,
Speaker 1: you could have been gone. But now I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: move like a psychoth only you guys can see my psycho.
Speaker 1: But when I got psycho psycho, I think this is warranted.
Speaker 1: I feel vindicated hearing this story. But I go, I go,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna move. Do you understand that? So if
Speaker 1: you don't move backwards, we're gonna stay here because guess what,
Speaker 1: I don't have a job. I was like, I was
Speaker 1: like a psycho. I put my car in park, I
Speaker 1: put on my blinkers, I crossed my arms and I
Speaker 1: looked at him. Yes, and that's what I did, and
Speaker 1: I was I was there for two minutes and then
Speaker 1: this very sweet Indian guy that he told me his name,
Speaker 1: but like I can't truly like blacked out rage. He goes,
Speaker 1: he walks over to the guy so I can now
Speaker 1: see him any or who walks over the guy. I
Speaker 1: don't know what he says to him. He walks over
Speaker 1: to me and he goes, he's going to back up.
Speaker 1: I'll help you park because I'm shaking. Yeah, and I'm
Speaker 1: a pretty good parallel parker. This has been my I've
Speaker 1: had my car here for like ten years. So like
Speaker 1: I'm shaking, and now i have to do something publicly
Speaker 1: because I've just screamed at my neighborhood. Of course, this
Speaker 1: is my block. I've lived in this block for six years.
Speaker 1: I just screamed at my neighborhood and also my neighborhoods
Speaker 1: like super diverse. It's a lot of like Middle Eastern
Speaker 1: people at Indian people, and I'm just this tiny white
Speaker 1: girl that's screamed. I was like just karen ing it
Speaker 1: everywhere and so and so he helps me, which I'm
Speaker 1: actually very grateful that he helps me because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like truly like having trouble. The guy kind of
Speaker 1: raced his past and I rolled down my window and
Speaker 1: I was like, thank you so much. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed. I was like, was more concerned at
Speaker 1: the time that he saw me do this, even though
Speaker 1: again I do still feel like I was in the way.
Speaker 1: I was so embarrassed he saw me that I was like,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your hope and whatever you
Speaker 1: said to him, and I'm so sorry and I'm just
Speaker 1: so embarrassed. He's like, this is a service where people
Speaker 1: are running down this road they're crazy, you did nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh blah blah, And I was like,
Speaker 1: he told me my name, and I really regret not
Speaker 1: going back again. Like I called up my sister and cried.
Speaker 1: I was told her everything about it. She's I was like,
Speaker 1: I did a mom move, like like truly, like I'm
Speaker 1: in hysterics. I'm so embarrassed. I'm angry, like I feel
Speaker 1: right to my anger, but I hate the way I
Speaker 1: displayed it. I hate that I couldn't have been calm
Speaker 1: about it. Again, I haven't had one of these in
Speaker 1: like four years, so I thought I thought I was
Speaker 1: better than it Like this, it was why it's even
Speaker 1: more shameful when it does happen, since you're, like I was,
Speaker 1: in the clear. You're relapsing, but you're really not, but
Speaker 1: it feels like So it was like all these emotions
Speaker 1: and then of course, like by the time, I thought
Speaker 1: like I should just at least just tell him how
Speaker 1: grateful I was for him. You know, his car was gone,
Speaker 1: and like, I'm sure he lives somewhere in my neighborhood,
Speaker 1: but like I was, just like it was. It took
Speaker 1: me probably four days to get over that, Like it
Speaker 1: was it feels like that lack of control and like
Speaker 1: the fact that it happened after nine years of therapy,
Speaker 1: like it to me And again, like I know shame
Speaker 1: isn't the right word, but it felt shameful. If don't,
Speaker 1: I think shame is exactly the right word, because shame
Speaker 1: is one of the most destructive emotions anybody could feel
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, and so and that can make that
Speaker 1: tumble we grow and eventually light on fires. Just because
Speaker 1: you a therapy doesn't mean you can't ever scream at
Speaker 1: someone again, like screaming absolutely, Like screaming is like you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's more like it's more like a treat that
Speaker 1: you're saving. But it's like it's like you still have
Speaker 1: it in your arsenal of tools for when it's deserved.
Speaker 1: And like that fucking that that is I don't think
Speaker 1: it did anything wrong. I would have applauded you had
Speaker 1: I been there, Oh yea. And it's and it's funny
Speaker 1: because I understand the fire. And also there is a
Speaker 1: man woman thing, like I feel like man especially like
Speaker 1: when a when a woman like it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: that guy had a woman in the car and he
Speaker 1: probably respects her. But that's the only like he only
Speaker 1: respects women. He's attracted you kind of a kind of
Speaker 1: kind of a guy and then it's like an asshole
Speaker 1: to anyone else um or you know, and thinks like
Speaker 1: it's just there's something. But there's some things that like
Speaker 1: when a head sexual man is watching you do them,
Speaker 1: like he doesn't have as much faith and so I
Speaker 1: would have broughten a whole other level to that. And
Speaker 1: you're small, so I thought you were like younger than
Speaker 1: you are, and then treated talked down to that. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, there's layers here, and I'm still back
Speaker 1: and kill him. And that's what's also hard too. And
Speaker 1: I remember this when I deal with Heckler's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I look, I look ten years younger than I am.
Speaker 1: Most people don't know how much experience people. That's my
Speaker 1: favorite thing, Like I don't know if you guys get this,
Speaker 1: like someone ships on you and they're like I wish
Speaker 1: they were more like this comic and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my friend, my friend that respects me, my friend that's
Speaker 1: recommended me, my friend that stage, my friend thinks nothing.
Speaker 1: And I accidentally brought Dan Soda into something I didn't
Speaker 1: mean it you know when you do something but some
Speaker 1: guy I don't even know the context of it, just
Speaker 1: went on about like how awful I am and blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah and women are the worst and did
Speaker 1: and this is such a way to say it was
Speaker 1: a crazy I think. No, it was on It was
Speaker 1: on the internet. You know how we spend our lives there,
Speaker 1: And so I said something where I like and this
Speaker 1: is happening. This is again where I'm kind of embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I've worked really hard with online interactions to talk to
Speaker 1: It's good experimental, it's a good experimental space to say,
Speaker 1: can I do this without being filled with rage? And
Speaker 1: you and you have the space. So my thing is
Speaker 1: if I try to the filter that I put on
Speaker 1: myself is everything can be screenshot, everything can be taken
Speaker 1: out of context. If this is taken out of context,
Speaker 1: how will it make me look? And what I'd be
Speaker 1: proud of what I said? So my thing is I'm
Speaker 1: not allowed to respond in the moment. I can be sarcastic,
Speaker 1: but I can't say if I'm not allowed to curse,
Speaker 1: and I'm not and I'm a I love Curson, so
Speaker 1: I can do that in my act. But in respond
Speaker 1: to the people on the defense easier, absolutely, and so
Speaker 1: I also always even if you don't agree with me,
Speaker 1: I handled it better than you. I was nice, the
Speaker 1: bigger person. So I always kind of try to talk
Speaker 1: to them like my therapist does. And then I also
Speaker 1: always try to come from a place of education as
Speaker 1: opposed to um and like play education as of defensiveness.
Speaker 1: So I came back to him and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: just so you know, what you're saying is just dismissing
Speaker 1: of me as a person, is dismissing of women in general.
Speaker 1: I think some of the things, and I usually go
Speaker 1: when women are like shifting on women as people, I go,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sorry someone hurt you. I'm sorry a
Speaker 1: woman hurt you, whether it's your mother or somebody you dated.
Speaker 1: I have much empathy, but I didn't hurt you, and
Speaker 1: so you know what I mean. And I like that
Speaker 1: because sometimes it's like sorry, someone hurt you or who
Speaker 1: hurt you, and then they gets you know. But it
Speaker 1: was like a truly lengthy like da da da da.
Speaker 1: And so then I don't know where it came from,
Speaker 1: but Dan's special had come out, and I go, okay,
Speaker 1: well maybe maybe you need if if maybe you need
Speaker 1: somebody that talks about these kind of things but in
Speaker 1: a nicer way. So here's and and I and Dan goes,
Speaker 1: I don't want this guy. It was so funny because
Speaker 1: and I think he had brought up like him in
Speaker 1: some other context. So I was just like, he has
Speaker 1: a great special maybe and Dan was like, I don't
Speaker 1: want this guy. Know. When I saw Dan at the show,
Speaker 1: he was just like, I'm so sorry you went through
Speaker 1: that and funk that guy. But like for a moment,
Speaker 1: I was just like, I don't want to miss Dan
Speaker 1: in any way where he thinks that. I'm being like, well,
Speaker 1: you can have a psychopath. But like it is. It
Speaker 1: is interesting to me that they almost believe female comics
Speaker 1: are in a different like where you are in a
Speaker 1: different circuit like like because the way they talk about
Speaker 1: my peers is like, first of all, they've always pin
Speaker 1: us against each other, and I always try, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like they'll they'll be like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is much better than blah blah blah special, and I go, hey,
Speaker 1: she's my friend, like you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: for two female comics, She's she's not my enemy. Different Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and even if I don't enjoy another person's stand up,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean they're not my friend, they're not my peer,
Speaker 1: they're not Honestly, I think any females' um uh success
Speaker 1: is a success for all of us, because the truth
Speaker 1: of the matter is is that we're so limitedly plucked
Speaker 1: and appreciated that any time a woman makes money means
Speaker 1: that money can be made that they're going to support.
Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed that clip with our Guys We
Speaker 1: Fun to Get this week comedian Liz Mealy. If you
Speaker 1: want to listen to the entire episode and more of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked and more of podcasts that are only
Speaker 1: on Luminary by people like Roxane Gay, Russell Brandon, Lina Dunham,
Speaker 1: go to luminary podcast dot com, where subscriptions can be
Speaker 1: as little as two dollars and ninety nine cents per month.
Speaker 1: Enjoy