Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. It is covid
Speaker 1: N I guess that ken that well. I prefer cheesy
Speaker 1: grips if you must know, But I digress. Let's meet
Speaker 1: our alchemist shower in no particular order. Hey, there's James
Speaker 1: Cheeney Jangle Jim. How much are you enjoying Drew Barrymore's
Speaker 1: new daytime talk show? Uh? You know what. I haven't
Speaker 1: even known until just this second that it was there.
Speaker 1: But I'm a big fan of e t uh, so
Speaker 1: I would gladly watch this new show. I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: a very similar character. Yep, no question about it. Please
Speaker 1: welcome first time or a tool saying yes sing the
Speaker 1: self proclaimed Smith of India as if as is the
Speaker 1: first time you tradition. Please tell us any memory double
Speaker 1: awkward moment from your early days of improv. I always
Speaker 1: think the awkward part is finding a team name. And
Speaker 1: I kept a file. I just started keeping files of
Speaker 1: everything that's ever pitched in the team names and it
Speaker 1: I just no, because you spend like two meetings rehearsals
Speaker 1: trying to come up with a team name. None of
Speaker 1: the matter, let me tell you right now, none of
Speaker 1: the matter, because if you're good, people will come watch it.
Speaker 1: All right. I really thought I was going to get
Speaker 1: a blow that question. I really prepped for it. I
Speaker 1: was ready to go, and this is turned and I'm
Speaker 1: I was cut off. All right, I'll throw one at
Speaker 1: you on our second recording today. Um, and thank you.
Speaker 1: And I'm correct in remembering you did tell Jamie and
Speaker 1: I that the name Sing is the Smith of India. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah, the futails, you'd probably say it's them,
Speaker 1: but you know what, keep that and you there's a
Speaker 1: new Bravo show keeping up with the Patils. Hey, there's
Speaker 1: christ Alvarado, Charlie does surf? Are you excited for the
Speaker 1: second docuseries about the cult nexting that drops this weekend? Now?
Speaker 1: Have you watched The Vow on HBO? Yes? So I
Speaker 1: read yesterday. There is that certain as a trailer that's
Speaker 1: kind of a spoiler alert for the next thing because
Speaker 1: in the trailer, the young lady India is speaking into
Speaker 1: camera doing a testimonial like, wait, does it anymore exactly?
Speaker 1: Jamie and I were like, India kills herself right, yes,
Speaker 1: so yes, yes, I'm in. I also have some grapes
Speaker 1: with the Vow it's taking a minute. It's really stretching
Speaker 1: out each episode. So this is the new phenomenon with
Speaker 1: the docuseries that I'm convinced exists. It's I first noticed
Speaker 1: it in the mcmillions. You can't make a lot of
Speaker 1: money as a production company or a producer by selling
Speaker 1: a two or three episode docuseries. You have to sell
Speaker 1: an eight episode when in fact there's only two or
Speaker 1: three episodes of stories, and so there's a ship ton
Speaker 1: of filler. I also want to say, Kevin, you mentioned
Speaker 1: documentary that I watched this week that I loved, the
Speaker 1: The Amusement Park one? What class action park? Oh baby, yeah,
Speaker 1: Vanessa turned us all onto and I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's that's a that's a that's
Speaker 1: a brain tease. That one. Uh hey, there's Craig Ktkowski Kakao.
Speaker 1: How are you around a barbecue at the at the
Speaker 1: tail end of it, when the food is ready and
Speaker 1: ready to consume, Like that's when I met my best
Speaker 1: the barbecue. Yeah. But if you're you're asking me to
Speaker 1: grill or smoke anything, if you're asking me to even
Speaker 1: light a grill or tended, you're asking the wrong fellow. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's I thought it was important to ask after all
Speaker 1: these years, just in case and last. But take yes
Speaker 1: for an answer if you think at least it's Joey
Speaker 1: Greer Coco, last time you saw gator? Last time I
Speaker 1: saw a gator. I haven't seen him in a minute?
Speaker 1: Less the gator? The hell he borrowed my watch, He
Speaker 1: borrowed a pair of shorts. Uh, and then he went
Speaker 1: out He went out there and he just tore up Tallahassee.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Thank you for sharing. Let's do a damn show,
Speaker 1: shall we? All of our scene suggestions to gather from
Speaker 1: your listener emails or from our Patreon v I p
Speaker 1: s to become a patron supporter at the show and
Speaker 1: enjoy exclusive content like oh, I don't know a video
Speaker 1: of what we're saying right now, And as we say
Speaker 1: right who's recording me? And you'll see Gregg's reaction to
Speaker 1: me just saying that. Uh. Just head on over the
Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash alchemy this, patroon dot com slash
Speaker 1: alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion
Speaker 1: via email, please right to the podcast. I will reply
Speaker 1: to almost all of you. If you write to us
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's
Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. See one comes,
Speaker 1: in fact from one of those listener emails. His name
Speaker 1: is Jake. He wrote, Hi Kevin, thanks so much for
Speaker 1: all you are doing right now. I'm a big fan
Speaker 1: of the show, and these will represent my fifth, sixth,
Speaker 1: and seventh scene suggestions. So though, in spite of promising otherwise,
Speaker 1: you've only performed one at this point, apologies for the trinity.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can sort it out. And then I
Speaker 1: in fact did sort it out. And here's the one
Speaker 1: scene suggestion that made the cut to give you an
Speaker 1: idea also of how terrible the other two were. That's
Speaker 1: my little shot back, my little shot back at Jake,
Speaker 1: right Salvo. In addition to their secret layers, there is
Speaker 1: also a secret bar that superheroes go to when they
Speaker 1: commiserate about all the down sucks being super I want
Speaker 1: to also say James Cene is a poor man's Bob
Speaker 1: Oden Kirk in the best possible way. One last shot
Speaker 1: before I love you all. Jake Birch, Missoula, Montana. One Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you. One whiskey on the rocks. I
Speaker 1: was actually here first. I was like, that's right. Push
Speaker 1: face was here first. Well, so my mistake. If you
Speaker 1: don't mind taking a second tank, push face, what can
Speaker 1: I get you? Um? I saw sir, milk, that'd be great.
Speaker 1: Maybe put a little Uh what's that white rum? What's that? Like?
Speaker 1: White rum? That? Like? No, I'm not what's that white rum? That? Kal?
Speaker 1: What is that? It looks not a rum, it's a liqueur.
Speaker 1: Well it's it's I'm saying it's like klue. But the
Speaker 1: one that the part of me is it the one
Speaker 1: that the big Lebowski drinks. Oh my gosh, I can
Speaker 1: see a good what do you call me? Jest though? Uh?
Speaker 1: Captain chest So no led So chest to enlisted. Uh yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: I told you I was thinking about it, but you
Speaker 1: and I haven't spoken a couple of months, and I
Speaker 1: um made some decisions. That was hibernating. You know that
Speaker 1: I was. And then you're going to enlist because I
Speaker 1: was hibernating. We had not Hey, hey, puss face, not
Speaker 1: because you were hibernating. It just happened to it the
Speaker 1: time he worked out that way. Anyway, let me get
Speaker 1: a white Russian, please, us est. Uh, puss face. I
Speaker 1: do want to tell you something though, I'm going to
Speaker 1: battle tonight. They're you're they're shipping you out already, Yeah, tonight.
Speaker 1: It's it's going to be a big one. It's good
Speaker 1: guys versus bad guys. Oh my gosh, that's the old
Speaker 1: Excuse me, you're not what do you Why are you
Speaker 1: wearing this uniform? Are you actually enlisted? I just need
Speaker 1: idea to get in, all right, I actually left my
Speaker 1: I d inside. Um what have you talked about this
Speaker 1: at the time? Alright, you with the orange cape, you
Speaker 1: go first. Uh, you're not familiar with Lebran the braun.
Speaker 1: You're not on the list, buddy, I'm not on the list.
Speaker 1: I'm the strongest superhero in the world, strongest superhero more
Speaker 1: than Captain Chesto. Oh he's Captain Chess. No, now, well
Speaker 1: that is that a self appointed title? Oh if you
Speaker 1: don't even know that, man, maybe you're not a superhero.
Speaker 1: All right? I am Lebron Yeah, I heard you. All right,
Speaker 1: you're not. What about you with the blue face? I left.
Speaker 1: I was already inside just a minute ago. So my
Speaker 1: ideas inside already. Yeah, yeah, I hear that all the time.
Speaker 1: You left your credit card the table. I left everything
Speaker 1: in there. I just need to get my page because
Speaker 1: there's a good guy versus bad guy fight tonight, and
Speaker 1: I didn't just go back in real quick anyway. Plus face,
Speaker 1: I can't talk to my songer. I put a song
Speaker 1: in for karaoke, you know. I like to sing before
Speaker 1: I fight. Of course. Oh my god, it's like, really
Speaker 1: soon you're gonna sing. You're gonna next up on the
Speaker 1: cike is chest Oh, Colonel Chesto? Colonel did that's captain?
Speaker 1: Captain Chesto? All right, you're up. Let everyone know what
Speaker 1: you're singing. I'm stringing, singing straight cat straight he stringing
Speaker 1: or singing? Who the fund is that guy? Do you
Speaker 1: know who I am? I'm Captain Chestoh, I'm captain. These
Speaker 1: nuts man start singing. That's not true. That can't be true.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that name before. Black and white
Speaker 1: stray cats sitting on a fence. Ain't got enough dough
Speaker 1: to pay the rent? Okay, no, no, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: They have their own bar, and sometimes they gather outside
Speaker 1: before they go in, or they step outside to have
Speaker 1: a smoke or something that we could totally see them.
Speaker 1: We could see them. We could maybe get a picture
Speaker 1: with them, We can do what Peter wants to do,
Speaker 1: or we can just play our normal D and D.
Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, yeah that's right. He could just play
Speaker 1: D and D. Or we could go to where the
Speaker 1: superheroes actually hang out and get too. This is huge.
Speaker 1: How could you not want to do that, Larry? Because
Speaker 1: it's it's silly, man. We have this great, this whole
Speaker 1: great game going on going on for like twelve weeks.
Speaker 1: Why would we stop now because you heard of it?
Speaker 1: We can't even like, Phil, what do you think? This
Speaker 1: is huge? This is huge? This is huge. Hey Phil,
Speaker 1: grab a beer, but grab a beer. Listen. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: boys tell me you've been hanging out with them a
Speaker 1: lot lately. Yeah, it's a little look you and I, Man,
Speaker 1: I knew I knew you in high school. Okay, and
Speaker 1: I think you're a good guy. You got great kids.
Speaker 1: Even that feels weird. Man, if I'm being honesty, do
Speaker 1: you pick up it I'm putting down here? Do I
Speaker 1: pick up your button down? Okay? Look, you need to
Speaker 1: let your superhero dreams go away. Okay, just because kids
Speaker 1: make believe doesn't mean you need to spend time with
Speaker 1: people like that. You're a human. Okay, you're a normy
Speaker 1: and you gotta you gotta face the facts. He all right,
Speaker 1: oh my goddamn superhero. Okay, everything. I get to go
Speaker 1: play with those kids and I get to be a
Speaker 1: little superhero, a little goblin warfighter that I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: That're not gonna be did I here? Phil, Larry, Larry,
Speaker 1: Larry oh Man. Hello, good, I'm so happy to see you. Well,
Speaker 1: Larry said you love me, Larry. We're gonna say you
Speaker 1: love me a little bit. I mean, it's like I
Speaker 1: have two dads. No, don't okay, don't say that, Phil.
Speaker 1: Phil has something to tell you, Larry, Go ahead tell him. Larry,
Speaker 1: I want to take you on a trip. No, get
Speaker 1: back here, Get back here, my kid, Heylry God, there,
Speaker 1: where are we going? Okay? So I understand you want
Speaker 1: to fill out a police report, sir, but you're missing son.
Speaker 1: But that's not actually how it works. How long has
Speaker 1: he been missing? Is the first question? Hold on, it's no.
Speaker 1: I think the first question is that's not how it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: You can't just barge into a police station and say
Speaker 1: I want to fill out a missing person's report. There's
Speaker 1: a couple of questions before I start drawing up a
Speaker 1: police report. We're not just gonna do paperwork just because
Speaker 1: you say so, you know what I mean. I'm not
Speaker 1: asking Kenny. All right. Look, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: fellows recognized, but tonight there's a war between the good
Speaker 1: guys and the bad guys. Yeah. We kind of fight
Speaker 1: that wor every day. Yeah. Well, but you're like NORMI heroes,
Speaker 1: you're not super heroes. Yeah. I heard l a comic
Speaker 1: con was happening again. Uh okay, So you a son
Speaker 1: and he's disappeared. How long has it been gone. He's
Speaker 1: been gone for about I don't like twenty five minutes, right,
Speaker 1: And you say a superhero took him? No, I want
Speaker 1: to be superhero. Look here's here. His name is Phil
Speaker 1: defel Meyer. He goes by the Duff when he's pretending
Speaker 1: to be a superhero. I don't know what that's all about.
Speaker 1: He took my son. He's an adult. My son is
Speaker 1: a miner. Okay, his name is Larry. He's cute as
Speaker 1: I'll get out. How did Larry get access to his son?
Speaker 1: Larry is my son Phil. Phil was in my home
Speaker 1: and then took my son right before my veryan. Why
Speaker 1: don't you answer this question? You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Kenny Fox. So the police were not helped. You are
Speaker 1: right to contact Lebron. Listen, Lebron, I I try to
Speaker 1: get a couple of other heroes before you. If I'm
Speaker 1: being honest. Oh really, because I'm the second strongest man
Speaker 1: in the universe, man after the after the Bouncer at
Speaker 1: the Superhero bo I mean, it only makes sense that
Speaker 1: if you have a superhero bar, the strongest mad would
Speaker 1: have to be the bounce I found that out the
Speaker 1: hard way. Look, here's what I'm thinking, Lebron. I'm thinking
Speaker 1: maybe you go back to that bar, recruit a rag tag,
Speaker 1: you know, gang of superheroes, and maybe you all can
Speaker 1: can go after this the Duff. It's gonna be tough.
Speaker 1: Almost everyone's fighting in the good Guys versus bad guys fight. Well,
Speaker 1: who's back? All right, buddy? You're not getting into the bar,
Speaker 1: all right? So look, look, I know I'm not on
Speaker 1: the list. I also do not have I d uh.
Speaker 1: We had a good fight. We had a good fight
Speaker 1: the two strongest men in the world, nay at the universe,
Speaker 1: though somebody else there besides me. What. Oh, I guess
Speaker 1: I see what you do, so I did. I'm quick
Speaker 1: with the words too, So look, I'm just gonna I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna pop in real quick. I'm gonna have a
Speaker 1: shot or two, and I need to talk to some
Speaker 1: of my fellow suits about what what? What is the
Speaker 1: big thing that you want to talk Everybody tell me,
Speaker 1: I'll tell them. Well, if there's uh somebody, uh, somebody
Speaker 1: abducted a kid and I've been hired to track him down. Okay,
Speaker 1: I talked to that dad. I passed on that job. Oh, Jo,
Speaker 1: you passed on the job. Thank you very much, everybody.
Speaker 1: I am Captain Chesto. Let me get another white Russian
Speaker 1: police puss face. I'm gonna I'm gonna miss you. I'll
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm gonna miss you too. That song was
Speaker 1: so long you wish it was longer? But do I
Speaker 1: wish you had like a whole sixteen albums, a whole
Speaker 1: discography to run through so you'd stay here forever. You're
Speaker 1: so cute me out hey, will you will you wait
Speaker 1: for me? What? During the war? Will you wait for me?
Speaker 1: Are you enlisted when I was hibernating? I mean, you
Speaker 1: just totally went around our plans. Yeah, I have needs. Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't only enlist. I slept with a couple of there,
Speaker 1: what what's up? You were talking? You said you slept
Speaker 1: with some other and I said what? And then what
Speaker 1: did I say? You? Didn't you stop talking? Who did
Speaker 1: you sleep with? Why didn't I say what's up? Earlier?
Speaker 1: Who did you sleep with? Look? Will you wait for
Speaker 1: me or not? I'm a captain now, Puss. I'm a
Speaker 1: captain now, all right, I gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: Next up is Colonel Chesto. Again. I thought we already
Speaker 1: had him. No, I'm not seeing another. That's Colonel Chesto,
Speaker 1: formerly Lebron and colonel of course out ranks the captain.
Speaker 1: So I am once again the strongest man in the universe.
Speaker 1: That's right, technically correct. All right, you're up. Here's your microphone?
Speaker 1: Check one? All good, alright, I'm going to sing Rock
Speaker 1: this Town also by the Straight Cats. Phil. What are
Speaker 1: you doing at? My secret layer? And who's this little guy?
Speaker 1: This is Larry? This is um, this is my uh
Speaker 1: my Steward, my young apprentice, how sidekick? How many square
Speaker 1: foot is this place? Well, it's bigger than it looks.
Speaker 1: It's really I mean, if you put a measuring tape down,
Speaker 1: it's a thousand square feet, but gosh, it's roomy and decent.
Speaker 1: Ters over here really double the space a thousand square feet,
Speaker 1: so it was like a one bedroom. Okay, well yeah,
Speaker 1: but honestly it's all it's compartmentalized. It's not as small
Speaker 1: as it looks. I can on occasion, I can sleep
Speaker 1: here this wall right here, this is this turns into
Speaker 1: a bed. Okay, okay, I wasn't expecting in a company. Uh,
Speaker 1: you have something I can help you too. It seems
Speaker 1: like you only have one outlet. Is there another outlet
Speaker 1: I can charge my phone in? Or well, let me
Speaker 1: just get my I have an adapter that makes six
Speaker 1: outlets out of this this one outlet. Hold on, I've
Speaker 1: never seen a stove that's just plugged in. Well, that's
Speaker 1: actually hot, thank you, thank you. Yeah, that's a hot plate.
Speaker 1: My secret layer just has a hot plate because fire
Speaker 1: could break out. And you know, a hero doesn't need
Speaker 1: drama at home, does he. Yeah? The mini fridge inside
Speaker 1: the place, so I guess your regular big fridges outside. Well,
Speaker 1: actually this, uh, this accommodates only we'll see. I I
Speaker 1: could eat and have nutrition off of pills. Uh, it's
Speaker 1: like a daily fightamin. But it's got it's got everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but these are different. These are like super vitamins. So
Speaker 1: it's great. Great. Can you do me a favor? Can
Speaker 1: you do your favorite? Can you just here's fifty bucks,
Speaker 1: go down to the corner store, grab some milk, grab
Speaker 1: some beer. Just come right back up and I need
Speaker 1: to talk to you, Okay, if you could you do
Speaker 1: that for a second. Yeah, you're gonna hang out today. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: just just just run on down there. I'll be right,
Speaker 1: I'll be right there. Let me take these pills. Eight
Speaker 1: these pills. Letry what what? We just want your car
Speaker 1: all the student, my young body. We gotta rock this town,
Speaker 1: rocket inside out. You got rock this time? Make up screaming,
Speaker 1: shout you suck ass? Hey like oh me like that.
Speaker 1: I'm singing. I'm singing for How did you even get
Speaker 1: in here? Let's go buddy, slip by you. That's scene one.
Speaker 1: That's scene one, everybody, How am I I slipped by you?
Speaker 1: One of my favorite places in in the Bayou is
Speaker 1: by slipping Say two comes from Patreon v I P. Chase,
Speaker 1: whose name you may recognize. He wrote, my name is Chase,
Speaker 1: and a few weeks ago I became a Patreon v
Speaker 1: I P, which was frankly overdue, since I've had the
Speaker 1: privilege of listening to your show since its inception. That's
Speaker 1: right for the rest of you listeners, It's a privilege.
Speaker 1: How many times has Joey's had to say this, Chase
Speaker 1: goes on. I was even fortunate enough to have my
Speaker 1: existence validated by the Kevin Pollock when he read my
Speaker 1: email and used my suggestions Shark Tank in with Christopher Columbus.
Speaker 1: It may sound silly, but I was thrilled to say
Speaker 1: the least that does not sound silly, He continues. Your
Speaker 1: show has made me cackle, chuckle in, chortle countless times.
Speaker 1: And I thank you all guests included a hundred times
Speaker 1: over because you guys earned it. God damn it. If
Speaker 1: you're running low one suggestions, no, no, we're not chairs.
Speaker 1: But since you're a patron v I B, here we go.
Speaker 1: Try this one investigating the overabundance of raisins in Trail Mix.
Speaker 1: Thanks again, Chaz Sabanski PS And my first email, I
Speaker 1: tried to playfully criticize Craig for saying that his last
Speaker 1: name was spelled like it sounds. Unfortunately, sarkasn't doesn't translate
Speaker 1: very well in emails, and I'm afraid they might have
Speaker 1: come off as a bit of a dick. He probably
Speaker 1: doesn't remember or care, but I wanted to clear up
Speaker 1: any confusion the latter yep, and here we go with
Speaker 1: investigating the over abundance raisins in trail. Excuse me, I
Speaker 1: want everybody to shut down their machines. We're gonna have
Speaker 1: a machine. I can't. I can't find the bog shut
Speaker 1: shut us down, shut down, but I can't find on
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ here? All right, all right, Todd, take a
Speaker 1: look at this handful of trail mix here? What do
Speaker 1: you think is wrong here? Man? No, there's nothing, no,
Speaker 1: no here. Let me show you, h Rick, what do
Speaker 1: you think it's wrong with this this handful of trail
Speaker 1: mix here? Jesus, None of you guys know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about here. It's not my hands. It's the ratio
Speaker 1: of nuts to raison. Do you not understand that this
Speaker 1: company here, it's going broke because we're putting too much
Speaker 1: expensive ingredients in? Is that why you're not paying us?
Speaker 1: Shut up? Who said down? Yeah? Who still who said that?
Speaker 1: All right, if you're too cowardly to step forward and
Speaker 1: say that to my face, then step forward, your coward Okay, hey, Buss,
Speaker 1: isn't it just something like calibration you can do on
Speaker 1: your end, calibration? You know what I was? Actually, that's
Speaker 1: good that you brought that up, because right over here
Speaker 1: is my new calibration. I'm going to start replacing you
Speaker 1: with robots. Okay, introduce roots, gonna work here. They're all here.
Speaker 1: They are electronic, and I want you to treat them
Speaker 1: like they are, uh, just as just as u as
Speaker 1: long a term employees as you want. Are you doing
Speaker 1: this the floor you want us to work out here? Huh?
Speaker 1: Looks like a bunch of soft eggs working here. What's up? Oh?
Speaker 1: What's up? Everybody? Calmed down? It's go to take some
Speaker 1: integration here. We're gonna have to uh program the robot family.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that that was something that do. What's that?
Speaker 1: They're like known for this type of stuff. The whole neighborhood.
Speaker 1: We've been programmed since day one. My dad was a
Speaker 1: piece of ship. My mom was a piece of ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I signed to trouble you with the question, boss,
Speaker 1: may I close a query? Yes? Please do yes? Is
Speaker 1: there anyway we could gather together as a group and
Speaker 1: organized group and remove this rubbit? Well? I would say
Speaker 1: that if you guys start making better product, that I
Speaker 1: won't need to turn to artificial intelligence to be able
Speaker 1: to break this down. Yeah. Yeah, group a group that
Speaker 1: maybe we can vote, you know, like put together and
Speaker 1: have like our feelings and thoughts presented as one. I
Speaker 1: didn't say you unized, but it sounds to it sounds
Speaker 1: like union. It sounds like unionizing, and that's clearly against
Speaker 1: your contracts. Hash all this out, you mind if we
Speaker 1: get to making some trail mix. Come on, alright, rabbits.
Speaker 1: So I was supposed to show you around the factory.
Speaker 1: This is where you punch in, This is where time
Speaker 1: card in an out? Pretty simple, um over here, So
Speaker 1: this is kind of important. What happens if I slide
Speaker 1: your head in there? Huh? What what happens if I
Speaker 1: definitely you heard him? Sorry? Um, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know, you know, don't don't don't It will fit
Speaker 1: in that tiny little slot. Look at this, it looks
Speaker 1: like we're gonna have to smooth out his head I
Speaker 1: just I want to point out that we all have
Speaker 1: individual mugs. Here and finds the funniest mug. It's it's
Speaker 1: an eminem. It's a giant eminem. So don't let me
Speaker 1: see it is that? Is this the right here? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You can hold it, but just take your ship in it.
Speaker 1: Let me just take your ship in it. It's part
Speaker 1: of the programming to take a ship in anyone's mud
Speaker 1: that I'm calling for. I T I need some help
Speaker 1: with some of the robots that I've ordered. Um, can
Speaker 1: I speak with somebody in the I T Yeah, you
Speaker 1: got it right here? All right? Um so I ordered
Speaker 1: you too. I mean it was yes, Okay, then you're
Speaker 1: gonna get it. That's our number. Okay. Well, I'm just
Speaker 1: you call your mom and say, hey, is this my mom? Oh?
Speaker 1: So I actually am having similar problems with you. Is that?
Speaker 1: Are you? Am I speaking to a human being or
Speaker 1: are you a roban? No? I'm frank, MATEL all right,
Speaker 1: it's going on. Okay. Um, So I've ordered a couple
Speaker 1: of these robots and and they're acting suspiciously well like
Speaker 1: asshole human beings. I'm wondering if that's something on my
Speaker 1: end with programming or is that how they're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: If it's a robot, then that's exactly what it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be. Have you lived in this town? Robber's been
Speaker 1: here a long time. Their programmed to cause hell? Right now?
Speaker 1: I for a long time, I ran this factory human only.
Speaker 1: And who you're talking to? You called? You called somebody
Speaker 1: about us. I'm just on the phone with my mother.
Speaker 1: Hang on the phone, let me talk who look at this? Hello,
Speaker 1: Daddy's uh? You guys doing your mission? Yeah, we already
Speaker 1: made a shipload of trail mix today, fitty nuts and raisins. Slowly, slowly,
Speaker 1: but surely, we will take over this town and then
Speaker 1: this country in this world. Guys, we're bad guys alright
Speaker 1: here at the FDA. Listen. Other people going to tell
Speaker 1: you that we're not cops. Were cops? You got that?
Speaker 1: What cops? Yeah? We got badges? What do we got bags?
Speaker 1: All right? There's two there's two cases we're investigating. One
Speaker 1: is the murder of a drug a company president and
Speaker 1: the other one, this is I think a little bit
Speaker 1: more important. People are saying they're getting screwed out of
Speaker 1: their trail mix because there's too much cliffhanger. There's too
Speaker 1: much cliffhanger. No, that's no I was I was doing
Speaker 1: a cliffhanger. Uh, you probably gonna have too much cliffhanger.
Speaker 1: It's my favorite story week. It's so good. You know
Speaker 1: that inspired Tom Cruise to do that admission. Impossible to know.
Speaker 1: You know what it's going to start when he's like
Speaker 1: my hand, grabbed my hand and then she slips and
Speaker 1: then yes, yes, yeah. Sura two did a cliffhanger thing
Speaker 1: where they made nobody saw it. Spentura too, Tommy, how
Speaker 1: many times we got to talk about this? Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: let's get back to it. We're official cops here at
Speaker 1: the We can do anything the FBI can do. We
Speaker 1: wanted to shoot somebody? What are you saying? I want
Speaker 1: you to go into this factory, all right. I want
Speaker 1: you to be the bus. Don't take crap from anybody.
Speaker 1: I don't care who works there. Takes stallone movie, Simon
Speaker 1: Phoenix Demolition Man. That was over the top. I like
Speaker 1: that movie a lot. That's that's probably one of my favorites.
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty grounded. Actually, let's have a question.
Speaker 1: You have a question, boss, Yeah, would you finally reveal
Speaker 1: to us divulge if you will. Who Tommy Blue to
Speaker 1: get this job and keep it? Jesus Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you all right, Franks Estrella, that's who we did. Alright,
Speaker 1: fair enough, appreciate you. Uh yeah, we're in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Full disclosure. Yeah no cliffhanger on that one. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: I thought for our third date, I take you to
Speaker 1: one of my local hangs. It looks like a regular bar,
Speaker 1: but a lot of cops on FBI. Cia. Yeah, all
Speaker 1: the top, all the top. So you know, I'm CIA.
Speaker 1: So I walk my beat. I mean, but you know,
Speaker 1: be careful because there's some dangerous people here, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean please yes, uh sorry going in? No, please,
Speaker 1: thank you. She's with I'm a super I'm a superhero. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you need to stop saying that? Baby? What do
Speaker 1: you mean? Um? Hey, how you do? Let me get
Speaker 1: uh get two white Russians? Please to white Russian? Can
Speaker 1: I just have some milk with that? A white rum instead? Baby?
Speaker 1: You can have anything you want with like those. You
Speaker 1: just tell me what you talk. Hey. Hey, sorry, that's
Speaker 1: with me said, but she looked into my eyes and
Speaker 1: I was what do you call it? Transfixed. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: she's got that effect on people. Hey, let me ask
Speaker 1: you a question, Joe. Yeah, who's here tonight? That sheriffs,
Speaker 1: swat team and Marines? Who's you know? Who are the
Speaker 1: bad boys? Mostly of phibbies and sees a lot of
Speaker 1: phippies out of cities. Okaya, who are those guys? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to talk about them. Sorry, give me
Speaker 1: one sec, baby, I said, give me one sec. Wait.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I saw the food case and then I
Speaker 1: saw the drug case. So just all of the day's
Speaker 1: work for the f d AN. That's that's how it's done, man,
Speaker 1: food and or drug cases. Excuse me, part of me?
Speaker 1: Come do you want? I have a quarter? I have
Speaker 1: a quarter. Here, I'm gonna play song. Not a big deal,
Speaker 1: right to see. Hey, this is our this is our box,
Speaker 1: my man? All right? Put in a twenty. You can't
Speaker 1: do that. It's not it's not nice. I played Yankee
Speaker 1: Rose by David Lee Roth two hundred times. Okay, who
Speaker 1: the funk are you? Cia? Right here? Motherfucker's a So
Speaker 1: everything that goes in your body has already been checked
Speaker 1: embedded by us. So unless you want shifting a cup
Speaker 1: going in your body. Bad guys, guys, and you're killing
Speaker 1: the mood in here. And I'm with the E p
Speaker 1: A And this environment is being shittied up. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I want you to calm down and treat people with
Speaker 1: their respect. Yeah, yeah, you're right. When you're right, I'm bad.
Speaker 1: We were shittying things up, and that we apologize, Mr
Speaker 1: e p A. If you don't protect your environment, and
Speaker 1: what are you going to protect? It's clean? So about
Speaker 1: a minute ago, right, chee chee cheek, A lot of fine.
Speaker 1: What are you having for lunch? Uh? I got a
Speaker 1: meat loaf, I meet my my wife mats meat loaf
Speaker 1: last night. I left over. I got some vitamin pills
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take here, and uh a diet soda. You know,
Speaker 1: you know you're the luckiest guy in the world. Man,
Speaker 1: I don't think. I just think. I'm like, hey, I
Speaker 1: got a good job, I got a great family, and
Speaker 1: you know I'm making a day to day here. You
Speaker 1: you're gonna meet somebody man, don't work. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm trying to save my money. So
Speaker 1: I just I just eat the leftover trail mix on
Speaker 1: the floor for lunch and dinner. If I'm being honest
Speaker 1: with you, but put you have a date last week?
Speaker 1: How did that go? Oh? Yeah, no, it turns out
Speaker 1: it was a it was a rubbit. Oh yeah? Oh man? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What what was that like going out with the rubbit? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, first, if it felt normal, just tell me
Speaker 1: all about tell me what happened, Tell me what happened,
Speaker 1: what happened there? I was there, I was come back
Speaker 1: Where are you going? This is a dream, This is
Speaker 1: a dream. I'll just put it this to you this way. No,
Speaker 1: we come back here. Yeah, I'm listening. I'm listening. Okay,
Speaker 1: would you folks like to hear the specialstory? Would you
Speaker 1: like to have a couple of minutes with the menus?
Speaker 1: Whatever she wants to do? Yes, this wonderful, beautiful lady.
Speaker 1: How about you? Would you like to see a menu?
Speaker 1: Or would you like to hear the specials? And I
Speaker 1: would like to see the menu? The charmer, Okay, here's
Speaker 1: the menu. I'll give you folks a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: I'll be back. I have made a decision, me too.
Speaker 1: Uh and that's that. You're gorgeous, guys, need a minute?
Speaker 1: Or would you like some menus? Somebody's already been served.
Speaker 1: Oh we'll not served. But somebody was over here with menus.
Speaker 1: They already gave you the food you've already eaten. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: she was right. I was mistaken. Can you just describe
Speaker 1: the person that was here? You look like a dog
Speaker 1: like ape was covered in human flesh, looking frank, sister Ella,
Speaker 1: I'll be back. So listen. I was thinking, um, maybe
Speaker 1: we can ask some personal questions and you know roses?
Speaker 1: Would you like rose? This beautiful lady? Did you want
Speaker 1: a rose? Of course I went to roads. This is
Speaker 1: a date, and so like you know, at the end,
Speaker 1: I got I'll kiss, and then I never heard from
Speaker 1: her again. Oh kiss. Hey you're doing something right, rubbit.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yah yeah yeah that's cool. Hey look,
Speaker 1: I think I might hurt myself today on purpose. Oh,
Speaker 1: like like a worker's camp. I got you, yeah, I
Speaker 1: got you. Well, I'm looking at the injury right now,
Speaker 1: and I can tell you can go back to working. Problem.
Speaker 1: Wait what, No, it's I think it's internal. I think
Speaker 1: there's internal bleeding. Yeah, I see, it's not that bad.
Speaker 1: He did it to himself. We saw it. Oh fuck,
Speaker 1: you can go back to work. What do you want
Speaker 1: me to do you forget that we we robits have
Speaker 1: three six division. I do forget these guys we got crazy.
Speaker 1: Look look at this, look insane. Yeah, but they're also assholes.
Speaker 1: I know that. Telling propose the more flow raisings. Alright,
Speaker 1: I guess we get back to work by uh so
Speaker 1: so so so robid? Huh that's up. You know what.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take a napier on the examination table.
Speaker 1: Had a long day, A long day. I come here
Speaker 1: for an annual physical Alright, I'll wake up and do it.
Speaker 1: Let's see what we got here. All right, let's open
Speaker 1: up your chest. Hey boss, can I come in? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Please come in, Go ahead and sit down. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: I just can I just ask you? Can I just
Speaker 1: ask you something? You have to tell me the truth?
Speaker 1: Are you doing a member? What? No? Okay? Good? I
Speaker 1: heard him. I heard a rumor that the f d
Speaker 1: A is trying to infiltrate here, and you would have
Speaker 1: to tell me if you were an agent. So what
Speaker 1: you can ask? Well, hold on, what's the what? Why
Speaker 1: would they be here? What? What? What? What? What are
Speaker 1: we doing? I believe I believe that it's a set up.
Speaker 1: I think that those robots that I ordered. I don't
Speaker 1: think the robots at all. I think that they are
Speaker 1: competitors at their moles. But what are you going to say?
Speaker 1: Go ahead? Wow, I was just going to talk about
Speaker 1: the ratio. I was wondering how it was going racio.
Speaker 1: It's not going good. It's not going good. There are
Speaker 1: way too many raisins, and those provis don't seem to
Speaker 1: be working. They're just threatening and abusing my other employees.
Speaker 1: You know we could get rid of them. Oh well,
Speaker 1: I mean is that legal? No? Okay, Well, the robots,
Speaker 1: I just don't know what the I don't know what
Speaker 1: them what you know, Frank, I don't want to tell you. Man.
Speaker 1: It looks like, I mean, their gears just got chopped
Speaker 1: up with all these raising pieces. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: it ate up all the wires, so the electrical juice
Speaker 1: get sucked up into the raisons. Look looks like you
Speaker 1: know exactly what to tell me. Yeah, because I did
Speaker 1: the autopsy on the road. But what are you talking
Speaker 1: about do it? I'm telling you what my results are. Man.
Speaker 1: I didn't saying I did the thing you asked me to.
Speaker 1: Look at this? What's wrong with my robe, Frank, what
Speaker 1: the hell is going on? Will you call me down
Speaker 1: to this autopsy room because like maybe like maybe like
Speaker 1: four un fifty square feet Matt, you called me here
Speaker 1: to tell me my robots are dead and dismembered. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I dismembered. Yes, I mean you see that.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling I had to open them up to
Speaker 1: see what the problem is. You have? You had to sandwich? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll take a Bologny. You got a bologne with the munster.
Speaker 1: We got blognie munster. We got one with mayo, or
Speaker 1: we got one with mustard. What do you prefect mustard?
Speaker 1: Do you want one? Uh? I'll do a Philly cheese steak,
Speaker 1: fairly cheese steak coming up? Oh? Nice place in here,
Speaker 1: you fellas? What it says about four or sixties square
Speaker 1: feet for fifty? Yeah? I never get you a difference,
Speaker 1: that'll be. It's a chip, so you just you don't
Speaker 1: need to swipe it. You don't need it. It's a chip.
Speaker 1: Just stick it in. It's a chip from man. What's
Speaker 1: it like in two thousand for you three sandwich guys?
Speaker 1: Got so much attitude? What's up? He's depressed? All right? Listen,
Speaker 1: I need all the parts that you put, uh you know,
Speaker 1: put together that that you took apart. I need them
Speaker 1: because I can recreate my team again. What do you
Speaker 1: What are you laughing about? What are you laughing about? You?
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say so funny. I was
Speaker 1: just thinking to myself, I'm gonna put a new team
Speaker 1: of rabbits together. That's what's the funny. You are you
Speaker 1: thinking about? Joke? Not? I thought you were going to
Speaker 1: say something funny. No, I was. I need the parts back,
Speaker 1: all right. I need the parts of all of them,
Speaker 1: every single wire, every single plastic cap. I need them.
Speaker 1: Is then all take over the mix factory once and forever? What? What? What?
Speaker 1: Blessing to see three copses today from Charmagne, who wrote,
Speaker 1: Hello Alchemy, this team. Your show has been a pleasure
Speaker 1: to listen to during quarantine and sometimes makes me cry
Speaker 1: from laughing too hard. My scene suggestion a man embarks
Speaker 1: on a journey to bring back Willie Mammoth's Thanks Charmainne
Speaker 1: from Columbus, Ohio. Yeah, go ahead, press the buttons. That's
Speaker 1: the year you're gonna go back to, all right, very clear.
Speaker 1: It's like a normal phone keypad, right, and then make
Speaker 1: sure you truss the month first, or a day or
Speaker 1: a year. Just we're gonna go European style, actually, because
Speaker 1: that's Marshall. Can I talk to you for a second,
Speaker 1: just Marshall, Just I don't think this is the guy
Speaker 1: we should be sending back. Okay, he has a lot
Speaker 1: of problems with the pad. He's careful. This is what
Speaker 1: we here a problem here. I'm just trying to get
Speaker 1: tap into system. Where are you supervisor of some kind
Speaker 1: that I don't know about? Are you serious? Are you
Speaker 1: fucking kidding me and my super bows at martial? Are
Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me? I'm just messing with you. But
Speaker 1: you know, step off kind of thing, right, This is
Speaker 1: actually the kind of guy we want traveling time. Okay.
Speaker 1: You know you need somebody use meticulous who checks everything twice.
Speaker 1: This guy does it all right. He's wearing the same
Speaker 1: clothes he's been wearing the last three days. He's consistent.
Speaker 1: What do you want? What do you want from a guy? Look?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Roger, Okay, I just cut you some dinner.
Speaker 1: I don't care if somebody called you a supervisor or
Speaker 1: not or didn't know. Don't take it out on me,
Speaker 1: you fucking asshole. Who the hell is am I supposed
Speaker 1: to take it on? Huh? Or the roommate left because
Speaker 1: you we have roommates. We shouldn't have roommates. We should
Speaker 1: have our own place, a big place, over a thousand
Speaker 1: square foot place. Oh my god, here you go with
Speaker 1: your guy to have rich blood. I'm sorry. I didn't
Speaker 1: grow up in the same neighborhood you did. Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't have some supervisation. I'm sorry, supervisor. Wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 1: You know what I wish I could do. I wish
Speaker 1: I could use your stupid little pan and go to
Speaker 1: March two thousand six, the day before I ever met you.
Speaker 1: Oh really, you know what? My life would have been
Speaker 1: a lot better too. You know what, Why do I
Speaker 1: do that? Why don't I go back? Yeah, I'll see
Speaker 1: you later. I'll see you later. Eat your dinner. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna eat this. Well, it's I made it. It's
Speaker 1: sitting there. I'm gonna let it get cold, and then
Speaker 1: when you leave, I'll eat it. I'll leave now, getting
Speaker 1: the door before I leave. Hello, Hi, coming to see
Speaker 1: the extra room emailed with Yeah, Hi, come on in,
Speaker 1: Come on in. This is my boyfriend. Roger, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? Who the hell is this? I'm looking for
Speaker 1: another roommate. I'm just looking a few places. You put
Speaker 1: a list out so you can go ahead and walk
Speaker 1: right there and then to the left at first door,
Speaker 1: the one with the hole in it. That's that's the
Speaker 1: room that's available. The door with the hole in it,
Speaker 1: like not it's not a full hole through it, but
Speaker 1: like it's an elbow so you can like see who's
Speaker 1: outside the door. Smart people. Well, it's because Roger loses
Speaker 1: his temper occasionally. Okay, and you're a Roger. Okay, got it,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna go check it out. Yeah, go ahead, thanks,
Speaker 1: eat your food. I'm gonna wait till you leave and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna eat it. You put in the ad.
Speaker 1: He seems nice. He seems very nice. Give you one second.
Speaker 1: One second. Hello, Hi, I'm here to check out the
Speaker 1: room that's available. Oh great, it's great. Co Want you
Speaker 1: have a seat on the couch right here? Somebody looking
Speaker 1: at it right now? Okay? Um, Hi, I'm Peter. Hi, Peter,
Speaker 1: this is Peter. Who the hell are you? What are
Speaker 1: you doing here? I answered the list. I was gonna
Speaker 1: check out the room. That's available for rent. You put
Speaker 1: my room up for rent too. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I didn't do that room. What room is he looking for?
Speaker 1: Actually the one. No, don't leave here, Peter, don't leave Peter.
Speaker 1: How old you, by the way, you twelve thirteen, one
Speaker 1: years old. This is my first department out of college.
Speaker 1: So tell me again, what's what's holding up the effort
Speaker 1: to bring back the Willy Mammoth. Nothing. It's just like,
Speaker 1: are you in a relationship, sir? I've been married to
Speaker 1: the same woman for forty beautiful years. Well, colonel, I
Speaker 1: think that's fantastic. I think that's that's beautiful. And and
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, agains, it gets crazy, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, you know you know your partner.
Speaker 1: We've developed a keypad that can take a person anywhere
Speaker 1: in time. Yes, And we're trying to bring back twenty
Speaker 1: Willie Mammoth's from the ice age to provide a source
Speaker 1: of wool in the current era. It's pure profit if
Speaker 1: it works, money money, exactly. And so the first man
Speaker 1: you selected was an idiot. I don't I beg to differ.
Speaker 1: I think he was consistent and meticulous and the same.
Speaker 1: The report today for the word idiot was used. I
Speaker 1: guess I'll get it. I guess. Okay, give a second. Hello, Yeah, hi,
Speaker 1: I'm here to see the office. I saw it on
Speaker 1: Craigslist that I email as an office. Yeah, did somebody
Speaker 1: have a listen for an office company? This is my office.
Speaker 1: We have someone at the door here who says that
Speaker 1: this is a it's an open office. This is the Pentagon.
Speaker 1: What do you want me? What do you want me
Speaker 1: to do? Do you think well? Let them in? Let
Speaker 1: them in? Oh wow, this is huge. When I can't
Speaker 1: get to the Pedagon without being legitimate in some way.
Speaker 1: This room is six hundred but this this is the
Speaker 1: biggest building in the world. So I'll say, isn't it
Speaker 1: to me an hour and a have to get here
Speaker 1: from the parking lot. It's just really the biggest building
Speaker 1: in the world. So where is this office that I
Speaker 1: should look at? How did you know that? How do
Speaker 1: you know what's the biggest It's this fact. People know it.
Speaker 1: It's this and the bowing factory, the factory, the bowling factory.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, the bowling fact that the bull
Speaker 1: the door right there. I do really want to finish
Speaker 1: this meeting about the willy mammoths. Of course, of course
Speaker 1: we've invested a trillion dollars in this effort. I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking out of the box here. This guy is looking
Speaker 1: for a place where he can settle into an office.
Speaker 1: We need somebody to travel through time and settle in
Speaker 1: that machine. Oh perfect, Set him to go back in
Speaker 1: time and see what the biggest building is. Go back
Speaker 1: in time and and see, Actually, what's the biggest building? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not the building. We send this guy back to get
Speaker 1: the wooly wooly wooly woolly moments. Oh do you think?
Speaker 1: First things first? I love the office, and listen. Unless
Speaker 1: you have questions for me, I'm good to go. I do.
Speaker 1: What do you think is the biggest building in the world? Pentagon?
Speaker 1: I mean everyone kind of knows it. But that doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like a question for person I don't like them.
Speaker 1: What if we put you into another office. It's a
Speaker 1: little bit smaller, But let me tell you this. This
Speaker 1: office will take you places. Oh, color me interested. Let
Speaker 1: me just oh, I stepped in there. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of cardboard. Yeah, yeah, step on in. Okay, Now, Roger,
Speaker 1: if you can just give me the coordinates of the
Speaker 1: ice age. It's a comfort chair, I say that. September
Speaker 1: two thousand four. No anything, Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Is this your coffee? My coffee? Oh? Did I oder coffee?
Speaker 1: Look at you do with that outfit? Hello, Captain Retroight
Speaker 1: ordered that coffee? Why did you hand it to that person? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I was actually talking to that that woman
Speaker 1: over there. I didn't know you too at the outfit?
Speaker 1: Is this a theme night? I wasn't talking about. If
Speaker 1: you two could just get out of my waist, I
Speaker 1: could talk to that woman over there. I just you're
Speaker 1: boxing me out. I can't. I'm not going to move
Speaker 1: out of the way. This person would just showed up.
Speaker 1: This is my coffee. Take the coffee. I just want
Speaker 1: to She's gone. I got it, and I believe he's gone.
Speaker 1: Colonel the President would like you to report on the
Speaker 1: progress thus far. And they searched for the Willie Mammoth.
Speaker 1: Is it yes? And how is it good? Well, first
Speaker 1: of all, I lost my office. I lost my office.
Speaker 1: I had one of the five corner of phases at
Speaker 1: the Pentagon, one of the point. He was at five
Speaker 1: corners where there's multiple floors, so technically is probably. Well,
Speaker 1: that's true, but all the other floors they're used for storage.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. So then back to the Willie mammoth.
Speaker 1: President's very excited to hear about it. Okay, we did
Speaker 1: send a man back to the year two thousand four.
Speaker 1: I can't wait what we sent a man back to
Speaker 1: the year two thousand I heard what you said. I
Speaker 1: just can't believe it. Two thousand four. You said, Yes,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear how many Willie mammoths if
Speaker 1: he couldn't find any willing mammoths. But a million dollar
Speaker 1: baby is no longer the Best Picture winner from two
Speaker 1: thousand four. So he did, he did somehow he changed
Speaker 1: the timeline. So that's a plus. Yes, that was a
Speaker 1: depressing movie. It's kind of an after school special. When
Speaker 1: I was said and done, wasn't it a little bit? Yes?
Speaker 1: I mean I thought she was terrific. I don't know
Speaker 1: if she's a double law school winners an actor. No, No,
Speaker 1: she already got it for boys don't cry. Don't give
Speaker 1: her another one. Yes, there's a reason boys don't cry.
Speaker 1: I suppose right there, So what years should we focus on?
Speaker 1: In your opinion? Now, several million years in the past. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's probably. Yes, maybe it would help if you pinpointed
Speaker 1: a year. Okay, I mean I could google ice Age.
Speaker 1: You can google ice Age just as well as I can, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: but if you wanted to google, I would get another kunnel. No,
Speaker 1: look at it. All right, So you want to go
Speaker 1: back to March two thousand sixteen. Yes, so you can
Speaker 1: never have met You're partner, you know him, he works
Speaker 1: with you. Yeah, I know. I just this is not
Speaker 1: what it's supposed to be used for. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I do one for you, you do one for me.
Speaker 1: What do you need for me? Where would you like
Speaker 1: me to go first? No, you already you've done too much.
Speaker 1: This fruit basket is amazing. You didn't have to bind.
Speaker 1: If there's a secret mission or somewhere you needed, I'm
Speaker 1: happy to go. I'm trying to get out of the
Speaker 1: house anyway. I mean, you could go back to I
Speaker 1: can't think of anything that really happened that year that
Speaker 1: we need change. So you know what, just go, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever you do, just don't let have Roger quit this job?
Speaker 1: All right, Well, you're not gonna have metam so all right, Hey,
Speaker 1: just make sure you put the month in second. Alright,
Speaker 1: we used the European system. Month in um pentagon. We
Speaker 1: do things globally, all right, So so all right, hey,
Speaker 1: got speed? All right, okay, let's a month. Wait day,
Speaker 1: so nine one nine, I gotta close the store Marches
Speaker 1: zero three. What the hell was the year? Do you
Speaker 1: remember what year that was? I I was saying earlier,
Speaker 1: I remember exactly. It was March nine two sixteen. I
Speaker 1: was supposed to think six. Oh. Sorry, I dropped on
Speaker 1: my papers in front of you. God, damn it. All
Speaker 1: these papers are in front of me. Damn Now, I
Speaker 1: got this paper on me. All this paper touched me
Speaker 1: and it's on the floor. What the hell am I?
Speaker 1: I gotta change my suit I have. I gotta change
Speaker 1: my suit and what the hell? Drop paper? Mug? Jesus god,
Speaker 1: did you hear that guy? Drop paper mug? Yeah? What
Speaker 1: what a dick? Oh? No, oh, no, the paper there.
Speaker 1: I'm falling in love with you. Name off for this
Speaker 1: to happen. I'm falling in love with you again. No, okay,
Speaker 1: let's get a place together. Then, fine, we'll make it
Speaker 1: work this time. Whoa, what the hell is going on?
Speaker 1: Let's go? Come on, give me your hands. We'll get
Speaker 1: off of me. I'll touch him here. You love me
Speaker 1: so strong? Roger? Wait, who are you you? You look
Speaker 1: just like me? Uh like my twin, Frank. What the
Speaker 1: hell is going on? Twin? What is that guy? Funniest
Speaker 1: guy at the Pentagon? He just runs around, just run around.
Speaker 1: He does a lot of secret stuff. You don't know that.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of there's a lot of heavy ship
Speaker 1: that's happening right now. You kind of look like her.
Speaker 1: She's telling me that we've met before. We got to
Speaker 1: move in together. I mean, I'm getting a lot of
Speaker 1: info downloaded, quick, quick, quick quick. I'm freaking out here. Okay,
Speaker 1: what's going on? What the hell is going on? All right,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you both said okay, you said no, you
Speaker 1: go Okay, the four years from now, we're gonna invent
Speaker 1: a time machine. Well yeah, and then we're gonna use
Speaker 1: it to come back to now. Both of us are
Speaker 1: from the future, but we both have people here who
Speaker 1: look like us, And so it gets confusing for you
Speaker 1: because you're meeting future us and pasted us in the
Speaker 1: same day. The guy who's going around, he's just making
Speaker 1: sure nothing is throwing off the sequence time travel much so,
Speaker 1: Mr President, we weren't able to acquire any wooly mammoths
Speaker 1: per se, but we did manage to go back in time.
Speaker 1: And a couple that only had a one bedroom now
Speaker 1: has a two bedroom that they are able to rent
Speaker 1: out to a potential roommate. And Spotlight is no longer
Speaker 1: the best picture winner from right and all this cust
Speaker 1: is a trillion dollars. Oh you're still here, so this
Speaker 1: this is that's on. Uh, it's only October, all right,
Speaker 1: let's thank all of our alchemists in no particular order.
Speaker 1: Let's thank um Chris Alvarado. Hey, Christopher, I spent a
Speaker 1: little time at the uh Chris dash Ovarado dot com
Speaker 1: and uh enjoyed myself very much. Is a lot there.
Speaker 1: You're doing a lot of support for other funny people
Speaker 1: as well as offering up classes and things and Joey
Speaker 1: and let's not freak well, at least we forget Joey. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for saying that I need all the traffic I
Speaker 1: can get, because really, Chris dash Alvarado dot com is
Speaker 1: my life's work. Let's be honest, there really is anything
Speaker 1: you need to know about me where I'm from pictures
Speaker 1: of me. Right, it's all there. Thanks, thanks, and and
Speaker 1: and Joey. Also quickly, really fun stuff on the reddit.
Speaker 1: Everybody who's who's on the reddit? Um, somebody posted a
Speaker 1: picture of a grub Hub ad that looks a lot
Speaker 1: like James Heeney, which is funny. James, have you seen
Speaker 1: this this picture? I have not seen it. Um, let's
Speaker 1: see if I can show it to you really quickly
Speaker 1: as sometimes I didn't see the meat song. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then somebody made them a song which was really wonderful. Look, James,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you could see this. It looks
Speaker 1: a lot like you. That's a cartoon character and it
Speaker 1: has red hands, a red headed cartoon character. I mean,
Speaker 1: how does that look like me? It looks it's kind
Speaker 1: of strange. Um, yeah, what was the deal with the
Speaker 1: meat song? That's on our Instagram? So? Uh it's it's
Speaker 1: uh eat beef. It's a song that Joey Joey fronted
Speaker 1: in one of our episodes, has become a fan favorite,
Speaker 1: and somebody decided to auto tune that to the song. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't stop believing? Is that right? Is that? What is that?
Speaker 1: What it was? I think so? Yeah, I think it.
Speaker 1: It's just it's high art is what it is, right,
Speaker 1: check it out at our Instagram, all right, and let's
Speaker 1: thank you tool saying it's a tool, thank you fun thanks.
Speaker 1: Oh it was great, It's great, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. I like to go ahead. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a website now called at least we'd not
Speaker 1: forget Joey dot com. It's just where my post pictures
Speaker 1: on myself where I'm from, and uh, check it out right,
Speaker 1: and thank you so much for being here. And folks
Speaker 1: can phone you find you on socials. So it's all
Speaker 1: a tool time, so a t U L and the
Speaker 1: word time. That's all of them. That's instat cam, that's Facebook,
Speaker 1: that's Twitter. Longtime fan. Love you much, Love to Robin,
Speaker 1: thanks for being here. Craigkowski. Yeah, the Craigslist podcast is
Speaker 1: back for the month of October, rebranded as Craig'slist, Spookey Times,
Speaker 1: That's Spooky with sand O's. I've listened to the first
Speaker 1: two episodes on my walks. Love them. Can't wait for
Speaker 1: ghosts now, thanks so much. Yeah, we've done found footage movies,
Speaker 1: we've done what else we do ghosts? As you said,
Speaker 1: we did slasher movies. We're doing Witches and Vampires next.
Speaker 1: All right on, Well, it's it's crazy fun to listen
Speaker 1: to and I highly recommend folks do that, please, my friend,
Speaker 1: and thank you James Hayman. Oh, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: It's so good to see a tool again. Gosh, I've
Speaker 1: missed you so much. A shide from my my excitedness
Speaker 1: to see you. I'd like people to check out BS
Speaker 1: Comedy at twitch uh bs it's twitch dot tv slash
Speaker 1: BS Comedy sounds like bear SUPPI has been doing shows
Speaker 1: every Wednesday night, typically at seven pm, okay standard time?
Speaker 1: And did you get rid of joe years? He's still
Speaker 1: part of them. He's still in there, honestly, he's he's
Speaker 1: not a perfect world. The walls together. Yeah. Speaking of which, Joey,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for you using that filter all
Speaker 1: through the improvised scenes. It's really helpful to the other folks.
Speaker 1: Incredibly supportive and just putting out love and you care
Speaker 1: about us. So I just want to thank you for that.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's exactly what I was gonna say. And
Speaker 1: and so that's my time. Okay, uh let's thank our
Speaker 1: producer and engineer to the stars, Mchr. Doug Baine, and
Speaker 1: the fine folks that I hurt media fumpump, and thank
Speaker 1: all of you listeners. I'm Kevin Pollock, your host, reminding
Speaker 1: you to please be kind to each other and as
Speaker 1: the winter months settle on in, let's wear those masks
Speaker 1: and look the funk out for each other. Please, until
Speaker 1: next time, say to tool and and I foll