Speaker 1: Whoa. Welcome back to another episode of a Canary this
Speaker 1: covid ndition. I'm your host, Kevin Pollo. Guess that, Kevin?
Speaker 1: Hell you? What do you get the car? And meet
Speaker 1: me around back at midnight tonight. Don't be late, I'm serious.
Speaker 1: Don't fucking text me and Love fifty eight and say
Speaker 1: they got a stuck on a call. Should be there
Speaker 1: ten twenty one minutes. But I digress. Let's meet a
Speaker 1: rock him as, shall we, in no particular order to
Speaker 1: say hello to newcomer. A tool saying thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. A tool, not the tool that
Speaker 1: joke borrowed from the great comedian from the seventies, A
Speaker 1: Whitney Brown. He used to open his act by saying, hello,
Speaker 1: I'm a Whitney Brown. Someday I hope to be the
Speaker 1: Whitney Brown. But I super digress. A tool, not the
Speaker 1: A tool. Your thoughts on Captain Sandy's replacing chefs this
Speaker 1: season of Below Deck, Okay, listen, I think there's cultural
Speaker 1: component's Kiko is all right, sweetheart, so he doesn't know
Speaker 1: how to make Las Vegas, but I don't know what
Speaker 1: Las Vegas food is either, all right? I would have
Speaker 1: googled it too. I would have googled everything to make
Speaker 1: every single time. UH. And then you're gonna bring in
Speaker 1: this guy who was on his way to see his
Speaker 1: family and he's just like, oh, come in, and I'm
Speaker 1: dating the You know, the thing is, this is a
Speaker 1: season about Hannah, and that's what we should really always
Speaker 1: be talking about. That's all this season is a memorial
Speaker 1: to her. Uh. Captain Sandy Ebbs and flows me personally,
Speaker 1: I'm a glen Man myself. Captain Lee's fine, but I
Speaker 1: think there's something there with Kate. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is, but I don't like the defense of her
Speaker 1: all the time. You want to talk about chiefs, I'll
Speaker 1: talk about chiefs too. I think she's great. I think
Speaker 1: when she gets involved and when she tries to uh
Speaker 1: to delegate and really lead her team, she does a
Speaker 1: great joh Okay, I'll stop there. I thought Bugsy instantly
Speaker 1: became the best chief stew we've ever seen. She's fantastic.
Speaker 1: She's no dramatic. She talked to them like, this is
Speaker 1: what I want you to do. You know what you
Speaker 1: know who absolutely hate now is Jess. I have no
Speaker 1: time for Jess. No time for Jess time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll give no no, okay, let's go back to reality. Uh,
Speaker 1: but thank you for most of that. Look Out it's
Speaker 1: Craik Kikowski kaka favorite book from childhood and why I
Speaker 1: think it's still my favorite book of all time, which
Speaker 1: is Alice through the Looking Glass and What She Found
Speaker 1: there by Lewis Carroll because it opened my mind to
Speaker 1: dream logic and it's still very influential. I think you
Speaker 1: can tell in my improv style to this day. And
Speaker 1: thank you for most of that. Hey, it's James Heeney, Jim. Jim.
Speaker 1: If a doctor told you that if you keep eating
Speaker 1: hash Browns, you'll be dead in seven months, what would
Speaker 1: you do well? I just yesterday tried my breakfast for
Speaker 1: the first time without hash Browns. I caught up a
Speaker 1: potato and roasted it in the oven. I think I'm
Speaker 1: going to try to start moving to go over to
Speaker 1: just potatoes in the morning instead of hash brown I'm
Speaker 1: one step ahead of the doctor the same thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't have a potato. One of them comes
Speaker 1: in a long I mean it's a box filled with
Speaker 1: regular sized hash browns. But if we know what the
Speaker 1: difference is we know what a hash brown and potato,
Speaker 1: we know what that is. Well, we're saying, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're saying no potatoes. Why would I have no potatoes
Speaker 1: with breakfast? That's six seven months to live only if
Speaker 1: I have hash browns. Right, and I miss here that
Speaker 1: that's rights browns. So I'm gonna extend my life with
Speaker 1: tole raw potatoes cooked not raw. You know what, Let's
Speaker 1: move on. It's always a party. Hey, there's Christalparado Chris
Speaker 1: mix for folks who have never heard of it. What
Speaker 1: is a costco business center? So imagine a costco which
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of you can um big, wonderful
Speaker 1: on its own rights. Uh, all the things you want
Speaker 1: and all the places. Right, I'm watching a tool the
Speaker 1: tools really really get into this. I'm using dream logic here,
Speaker 1: Craig uh and so, So it's cost can be crowded,
Speaker 1: you know, can be a little stuffy at times. A
Speaker 1: costco business center streamlines your costco experience. Okay, the things
Speaker 1: you want, they still got him. Crowds ain't there. Also
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't know that they even exist,
Speaker 1: which I guess is why the crowds aren't there. But
Speaker 1: boy and I told Kevin this. The first time I
Speaker 1: was walking to a Costco business center. I spun around
Speaker 1: with my arms wide open in the aisles. I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe I was there. Sound of music, like sound of music.
Speaker 1: Thank you. They won't even let me inside a Costco.
Speaker 1: They won't, they say, remember to sure. I've tried with costumes.
Speaker 1: I've tried with the finger mustache. I think it's well,
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's looks like the annual James.
Speaker 1: I think my costco ran out of potatoes, so that
Speaker 1: might be that might be on you. I'm not going
Speaker 1: I think the annual fees twenty five bucks, which is
Speaker 1: to two dollars a month. Yeah, it's a separate, whole entity,
Speaker 1: is that true? Never looked it up? Never once. I
Speaker 1: do want to say, I do my shopping at Costco.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, what's your other tent? There's a way
Speaker 1: to cut out all the traitor Joe's. Is it gonna
Speaker 1: if I shop mostly at Smart and Final? Is it
Speaker 1: going to make a difference in my life? Yeah? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1: The final bullshit out of you? Damn you just went
Speaker 1: from the miners and nepaul to the majors. Alright, last,
Speaker 1: but too much pumpkin pine for you if you think him, Ladies,
Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer lie your king. Why do you? Why
Speaker 1: do the Japanese businessmen laugh whenever you're near? We got
Speaker 1: funny ship to say, man, we click, we vibe. Man, Yes,
Speaker 1: I get that, just for fun, fun with that man.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I want to just pivot for a second.
Speaker 1: And because I know for a fact Costco execs listen
Speaker 1: to this podcast, right, throw us a sponsor, my man,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Get James a membership at least. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I also know that Big Potato
Speaker 1: is a big listener, and so if they want to
Speaker 1: throw the governor of Idaho is listening this man, Please
Speaker 1: let there be a bus called Big Potato. All of
Speaker 1: our scene suggestions are gathered from listener emails or our
Speaker 1: Patreon v I p s to become a patron supporter
Speaker 1: of the show and enjoy exclusive content, for example, video
Speaker 1: of what we're saying right now, Just head on over
Speaker 1: to patreon dot com slash. If you'd like to submit
Speaker 1: a scene suggestion by email, please do right to the
Speaker 1: podcast that your name here in alchemist dot com that's
Speaker 1: your name here at ye seene one comes from Patreon
Speaker 1: alchemaniac Doug Ee, who wrote, Hey alchemist, Obviously, I love
Speaker 1: the show because I pay a quarter of a hundred
Speaker 1: dollars every month for exclusive content. I'd say I'm the
Speaker 1: fourth biggest fan, behind only Crispy Ai swant Rizzle and
Speaker 1: Chris mom One. That's my mama, tool. Wow, that's this.
Speaker 1: It's some inside ship. I wanted to get more oh
Speaker 1: my back to the email. I wanted to get more
Speaker 1: familiar with Kevin's work, so I googled Kevin Pollock best movie.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to watch error four oh four. Here's
Speaker 1: my absolute for the scene suggestion Willy Wonka's break room,
Speaker 1: signed Dougie. Oh my gosh, I can't believe we've got
Speaker 1: to see We're going to Willy Kuancas. We're gonna go
Speaker 1: to Willy Kuanca. This is crazy. I'll tell you. I'll
Speaker 1: tell him. I'll tell him, Um, Danny, We're not going
Speaker 1: to Quilli Kuancas. You don't tell him. I'm gonna tell him. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: somebody tanca WILLI Guanca Willy Quanca. Somebody tell him. Seriously,
Speaker 1: he's too fucking happy. Yeah. Actually, well we go. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make sure to buy all the candy and then
Speaker 1: I'll feed the whole family and then we won't have
Speaker 1: to live in the six story house anymore. I can't
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, really, gonna go see Willy Guanca soon.
Speaker 1: Quilli quanca, quilli, quana quilli, quanca. Quill quick, quill. This
Speaker 1: is no Yeah, this is a job. This is the job.
Speaker 1: You want to be a shop wrong, this is this
Speaker 1: is what you signed on that contract. You just cut in.
Speaker 1: You gotta see sadness in his eyes. Yes, is it
Speaker 1: will be gone in a couple of seconds. He's a child.
Speaker 1: Thank you, bet hey, hey buddy. Oh yeah, put down
Speaker 1: that sandwich. Look at me for a second. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna eat anything. It took it to Willie kwankers and
Speaker 1: then we all the kN Okay, put your hand on
Speaker 1: my face. Are you sick? No? No, well, I mean
Speaker 1: he knows I'm sick. Just hang in there, Just hang
Speaker 1: in there, do you only you're gonna get in an
Speaker 1: accident in two months. Get your head on my face. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know what is going on here. Look I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that. I'm not doing this I think you're great, Joey.
Speaker 1: You seem like a nice guy. I don't This is
Speaker 1: not I can't do this. You're tapping up Deafa. Now,
Speaker 1: all right, So the kid touched your face and told
Speaker 1: you get like two weeks two months. I livers on that.
Speaker 1: What are you sorry? Yeah? But his eyes they kind
Speaker 1: of glazed over. There's a frost that occurred. That's scarier. Ship. Man.
Speaker 1: The kids are goddamn psychic or something. So so okay,
Speaker 1: So I'm telling you, I'm asking you. You're the doctor?
Speaker 1: Is it is? He? Is he? Right? Look, I do
Speaker 1: Western medicine. Hell yeah, I believe that ship. Dude, You're fuck.
Speaker 1: There's no way I can protect you. I mean I
Speaker 1: can can prescribe some of a shot. What he gonna do? Yeah? Right,
Speaker 1: which you know what I mean? This is what I
Speaker 1: tell you to do. Okay, I can say a stay inside,
Speaker 1: lock the doors all that ship. But I mean, you're
Speaker 1: just gonna something's gonna happen horrifically in there, and you're
Speaker 1: not gonna be you know, you're not gonna be the good. Look,
Speaker 1: just go out and enjoy your life. You have two months.
Speaker 1: You're provincible for the next two months. Sorry interrupt, but
Speaker 1: I'm be haalf of the other players. Doc, it's twenty
Speaker 1: five to you. Oh I'm out. So look, So what
Speaker 1: you gotta do, man, is you gotta fucking live and
Speaker 1: live and live it, live it, live it, let it
Speaker 1: live it. So bet all bet go all in for now,
Speaker 1: go all in figuratively literally. Okay, all right? Is it?
Speaker 1: Is it? To me? It's I'm all in? All right?
Speaker 1: Well we didn't see that coming, stevens. Uh what's that
Speaker 1: about six twenties killing all that that quick? Yeah? That's
Speaker 1: why I deal the game every week? What has happened
Speaker 1: to him? Steve? Six? What you're saying a big difference
Speaker 1: to me? So is a six six? He's got you
Speaker 1: covered either way. So it's all your chips if you
Speaker 1: want to call uh, oh my chips. So you're saying
Speaker 1: you believe this kid, or like I gotta see what
Speaker 1: he does. I gotta see what he does. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't want to. My sister passed away and uh
Speaker 1: she had a kid tell she was gonna pass away.
Speaker 1: So I would take it very seriously. But if you
Speaker 1: could be quiet for a second, I just yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: for sure, pair on the board A big move. So
Speaker 1: you must be the brave, brave little boy who won
Speaker 1: a tour to my Willy Guanca's factory. May I see
Speaker 1: your golden ticket? Please? Uh huh, here you go. Well, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't have the all access tickets. You're only able
Speaker 1: to see my break room. What but but it's a fantabulous,
Speaker 1: fantastic break room. But I have to see the whole thing.
Speaker 1: I have to get all the candy so I can
Speaker 1: get my allow me to the room. Now, everyone was
Speaker 1: allowed to bring one relative, and who did you bring?
Speaker 1: I brought? I brought the ashes of of my great
Speaker 1: great uncle. I mean, it says. I don't know why
Speaker 1: he refers to me as ashes. It's not hilarious to
Speaker 1: anyone but him. Hello, Mr i Guanca. He's gonna burn up.
Speaker 1: My name is Bernie feistman Berg, and it's great to
Speaker 1: be here. Well, of course, as I advise, it's it's
Speaker 1: best to bring whatever relative is closest to death, so
Speaker 1: that your great uncle here is the closest of all
Speaker 1: your relatives to die. He's supposed to die here today.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't get a trophy I imagine for it,
Speaker 1: but yes, I'm breaths away. Okay, well, let's follow the
Speaker 1: gloop of gloopers right to the break room. Excuse me quickly,
Speaker 1: if I could ask one question before we go. I'm
Speaker 1: a little, yes, sir, I'm a little uh a little famished.
Speaker 1: If I could get a little something something before I
Speaker 1: get to the break crew. You know, something tied me
Speaker 1: over breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper down or down or upper upper.
Speaker 1: Food is here, and food is there, lick the wall,
Speaker 1: foods everywhere. That's uh f d A get in here.
Speaker 1: Uh we got it. We actually got a huge problem.
Speaker 1: There's been a there's been a death at Blanka's food factory.
Speaker 1: Sure a drug case. And now you just said food.
Speaker 1: So now and I take back that question. Food case.
Speaker 1: It's a homicide, homazide food case. And sure that this
Speaker 1: is an f D A thing the fund. Did you
Speaker 1: just say, Lenny, what is your deal man? Of all
Speaker 1: the years I've worked here, homicides, we do food, we
Speaker 1: do drugs. The food obviously killed somebody. Lenny, we know
Speaker 1: you're like two months from retirement. All right, it say,
Speaker 1: isn't your ship anymore? Just let it go? All right? Right?
Speaker 1: All right? All right? So I'm honestly I cannot shake Lenny.
Speaker 1: I cannot shake Lenny. I want to get this case out,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I just I'm what, come on, man, listen,
Speaker 1: I ran this administration for a long time, and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a way yeah, so you're I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: pass the torch the right way. And my gut says,
Speaker 1: my gut says we shouldn't do a murder case for this, Lenny.
Speaker 1: That it's a very definition of holding onto the torch,
Speaker 1: not passing it. So you ran this administration for years,
Speaker 1: then you started over at the ground floor to work
Speaker 1: your way back up. It's the only way to do it.
Speaker 1: It's the only way to do it. I wanted to
Speaker 1: prove myself again trying to Bustona for years. I have
Speaker 1: some intel. Uh uh this weekend and this week Marcus, Marcus,
Speaker 1: hold on a second, we gotta handle this, Lenick. We
Speaker 1: can't just move on with this case. Well in a second, alright, now,
Speaker 1: are you get the ship out of the CIA and FBI.
Speaker 1: We would have heard the information, Yeah, we would have.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe we hear Marcus, and then we
Speaker 1: think about revoting Leney. I didn't stop having a fucking democracy, Okay,
Speaker 1: and we started going top down. Huh, top down market
Speaker 1: I'm talking convertible here, all right, Okay, what if you
Speaker 1: two just boxed it out real quick? We used to
Speaker 1: do that in high school years old. He's ninety years old.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna you don't want to lose to a nine
Speaker 1: year old? Is that what I'm hear? Fun, I'm up.
Speaker 1: What's going right now? Okay, just as you're as you're
Speaker 1: getting ready and stretching and getting ready, I have a
Speaker 1: little bit intel. I gotta get in the zone. Man,
Speaker 1: I can't get I'll tell you guys. I'll tell you guys.
Speaker 1: All right, this weekend and this weekend only guancas having guests. Okay,
Speaker 1: now you need a golden ticket. But I talked to
Speaker 1: our buddies down at the Pibbi, and uh, well I
Speaker 1: got one golden ticket. Yeah, maybe one of us can
Speaker 1: go into come now we're working top down. I don't
Speaker 1: know where this fits in. Jesus Christ, you just knocked
Speaker 1: Lenny out. Oh my God, dominant heron Madame's and Missure's
Speaker 1: the break room. Oh no, it's not as bad as
Speaker 1: I thought. I was gonna say a fucking song. Please
Speaker 1: hold hold all your reactions to the end of my song.
Speaker 1: Mr Gronco, we're on our break right now. It was
Speaker 1: a really long break, was that because we were in
Speaker 1: the break room between the end of the last verse
Speaker 1: and the starting next. These, sir, are my union employees.
Speaker 1: They get one ten minute break every three hours. Are
Speaker 1: you doing a song? No? I cut the song cut
Speaker 1: from time the song was cut from time I miss
Speaker 1: you understood. Chocolate crack is um. So what we do
Speaker 1: for a special guest is you get to close your eyes,
Speaker 1: reach into one of our lunch sacks and take one eye.
Speaker 1: Wh whoa, whoa. Hold on a second, I'm not letting
Speaker 1: my great grandson do this. Why are we, Sonny boy,
Speaker 1: you're going to reach into a stranger's bag, reach into
Speaker 1: a stranger's sack. Oh boy, now it's a sack. I misunderstood.
Speaker 1: What is this little door? Oh there's a little shoe.
Speaker 1: Oh that door is leads to Oh this is bad. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, kid, welcome to quiz Nos. Where am I
Speaker 1: quiz No? Listen, get an apron. You're gonna be making sandwiches.
Speaker 1: They're hot. That's our big difference, right, no one, No
Speaker 1: one has a choice of a cold sandwich. I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that subway crap. Right, everything's heated. We put it
Speaker 1: in the oven, pops out and seated. Good. Get an
Speaker 1: apron tony, Yeah, the green one. I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: with Quilli Kuanca. Kid, you're at the quiz Nos now
Speaker 1: if you use the door, you're here now grabbing apron
Speaker 1: green one with the V shape at the top. Yeah, hi,
Speaker 1: I think the sun please? Kid under fire? Here we go? What? Yeah, daddy?
Speaker 1: Can I get the number four? Uh? You're my age
Speaker 1: fund me? What would you guys like? What's up? Welcome
Speaker 1: to quiz I'm I'm sorry, great uncle Joe. He's working
Speaker 1: at Quiznos. Now, that's just how the magical door works.
Speaker 1: The magical door leads to employment. I don't care for
Speaker 1: this door so much. Listen, Mr him to have a
Speaker 1: steady minimum wage job. Well he's eleven, so it's just
Speaker 1: seemed a little early. I had a paper out of
Speaker 1: the eleven so I understand where you're coming from. Let
Speaker 1: me ask you a question. Where's all this chocolate? I
Speaker 1: heard about chocolate? Yeah, chocolate. I understood. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of chocolate here with the factory. Oh oh, we get
Speaker 1: this all the time you're thinking of Willy Wonka again,
Speaker 1: Willie Wonka to w's huh, I'm Guilly Guanca, right, no,
Speaker 1: g w g w ding don ding don't it sounds
Speaker 1: like another ticket holders at the door. That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1: I agreed to do one of these an hour rather
Speaker 1: than just do them all at once. And Gilly, can
Speaker 1: you fix the doorbell? All right? Look, you got me
Speaker 1: in your your piece. All right, you're gonna do fine
Speaker 1: in there. I just you know, all in all, no
Speaker 1: matter what happens, and just you know we're fingers crossed
Speaker 1: the let me get out of the hospital. I did
Speaker 1: not know that stool was there when his neck hit that.
Speaker 1: I mean all the ship all right? So just uh right,
Speaker 1: you know he's gonna be fine. He's gonna be fine, right,
Speaker 1: so just focus on because it's a big time bust,
Speaker 1: all right? Can you you you must be the child
Speaker 1: for two o'clock. I be Guilly Guanca. And what relative
Speaker 1: of yours have you brought today? Ship? We're supposed to
Speaker 1: have a relative. I didn't know that was a thing.
Speaker 1: Help me, help me, help me? What is that accent?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Where are you? From little boy down? Down. Okay,
Speaker 1: are you are you undercover FDA? You have to tell me, Hey, hey,
Speaker 1: this is your dad. You say you'll pay me the
Speaker 1: same age. It's a family trade. It's a family trading ship.
Speaker 1: I'm my dad, my house. All right? Are we ready
Speaker 1: to begin the tour? And do you do? You have
Speaker 1: your golden ticket? The kid is it looks like you
Speaker 1: ripped up the corner of a legal pet Alright, look
Speaker 1: at this. We got a white van here park with
Speaker 1: no one in it? Uh, completely clear as part of
Speaker 1: it is parked in a loading zone. What do you
Speaker 1: want to do? I mean what what? What do you
Speaker 1: want to do? What do you want? Yeah, listen, the
Speaker 1: question's got to come one at a time. Do you
Speaker 1: understand me? Yeah? Drap of the parking meter authority. Then
Speaker 1: reset myself to the bottom so I could train a
Speaker 1: couple of buffoons. But here we are all right, So
Speaker 1: you got a white man parked here, no one's in it.
Speaker 1: Looks like there's some electronics in it. Never good electronics.
Speaker 1: Extra electronics are never good. Say say it back to me.
Speaker 1: Extra electronics are never good. Why are we singling out
Speaker 1: that the van is white? What does what does that mean?
Speaker 1: It's a good question. That's that's intuition right there. You
Speaker 1: got it. Okay, Phil, you got this. You've got intuition.
Speaker 1: You need that gut feeling your stomach. That's your gun.
Speaker 1: Thank you, boss. I still feel you're not answering the question.
Speaker 1: Come with me and you'll see the joys of Guilliguancas breakroom.
Speaker 1: We have full access. Oh, this is a full access.
Speaker 1: And we we're still going to start with the break room. Now.
Speaker 1: We used to be a chocolate factory. Now we make
Speaker 1: soy Theresa. Every everything gets made of soy Theresa. Here.
Speaker 1: Try it. It tastes very similar to real Theresa, but
Speaker 1: it's made of soy. Oh my gosh, you're still out
Speaker 1: of wet, dad, Yeah, I've definitely had a wet Holy ship.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just gotta check. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, look at this Lenny stead holy ship.
Speaker 1: Lenny died and no phones please, you're supposed to check
Speaker 1: them in at the door. So my grandpa died, wrong, sir, wrong,
Speaker 1: Your grandpa lives what and he's right here behind this door.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to quiz Nos. Okay, you're gonna be working
Speaker 1: YouTube right, Come on, grab a green apron over there.
Speaker 1: You're niken working next to this kid. Hi, Lenny, grab
Speaker 1: an apron, get through it? Can I get a number seven?
Speaker 1: Hold the onions? Please let me hurry up. Oh man,
Speaker 1: I'm too old to start a new job and learn
Speaker 1: how to work at a quiz nose. This is exciting stuff.
Speaker 1: Can I get that number seven? No? Onions, sir, I
Speaker 1: got two trainees today, all right, so if you can
Speaker 1: just give no, I can't give you a second. I
Speaker 1: came in here to get some food, so your trainee
Speaker 1: situation is not necessarily my problem. I go right across
Speaker 1: the street, togs. If that's what you want. You want
Speaker 1: to eat a cold soft sandwich, go do it. They
Speaker 1: gotta hot meatball sub over there. Will change your religion, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you like pig me no, no that Mr I
Speaker 1: Wonka kid. Somebody potentially eat some of this and die
Speaker 1: my story, Curiso, Well sure, if it's not cooked, that's
Speaker 1: what I thought. That's all we need to get on
Speaker 1: the ground. Motherfuck? Are you fucking pieces shit ass, I'm
Speaker 1: not even a kid, a piece of I thought about
Speaker 1: the same fucking age. And I've got the last laugh
Speaker 1: on you because I've recruited two kids to work for
Speaker 1: Quistos over the years. Okay, we'll hear from both sides
Speaker 1: opening comments in this case, Uh, the people versus by
Speaker 1: saying this right, Guilly Guanca. Uh, we'll start with the prosecution.
Speaker 1: If you want to now give us your opening remarks today.
Speaker 1: You're here to listen what the state has to say.
Speaker 1: I think he's cringing it to listen to what the
Speaker 1: state has to say. Have been selected, you as a group,
Speaker 1: have been selected to come in here, into this room,
Speaker 1: sit behind this bar, this brown bar, which is like
Speaker 1: super and and you're gonna be deciding the faith of
Speaker 1: that man who has done something horrible. That man over there,
Speaker 1: Just to be clear, the guy in the suit with
Speaker 1: the red tie, that is Mr Willy Guanca, And we're
Speaker 1: here to prove the tie has yes, has dots on
Speaker 1: it so it's mostly read though. He is guilty, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna show you how he's guilty in the fallowing days.
Speaker 1: But you're selected to help prove. Did you see the
Speaker 1: people's verses question? Yeah? I mean I said, oh my god, dude,
Speaker 1: like that'd be weird if and I was like your
Speaker 1: representing myself. Come with me and you'll see a bunch
Speaker 1: some beautiful ters this case and that's seen one, oh man,
Speaker 1: that is just seen one Jesus Christ. Seen two comes
Speaker 1: from from listener Matt, who wrote, Hello, Alchemist, my name
Speaker 1: is Mac and I'm writing all the way from Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say how much I love the
Speaker 1: show and think all of you do such a terrific job. Wow,
Speaker 1: he's being so nice, even for a Canadian. I'd also
Speaker 1: like to give a shout out to the new Alchemists
Speaker 1: that have been contributing to the show recently. I love
Speaker 1: you all well. A compliment to a tool before he
Speaker 1: even meets them. My scene suggestion is a white collar
Speaker 1: shotgun wedding. Keep up the great work, Matt, Hey, listen,
Speaker 1: bachelor party last night was really something I didn't think,
Speaker 1: you know, we were going to make it out of
Speaker 1: there alive quite Frankly. I just wanted to say, you know,
Speaker 1: today's a big day for you on the wedding and all,
Speaker 1: and I hope you guys life together. Just get the
Speaker 1: champagne and get out, Okay. I wanted to say how
Speaker 1: much fun I had last night, and that's greater. I'm
Speaker 1: glad we connected a lot to me. And I know
Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other for a while before that,
Speaker 1: and you've been pretty hostile towards me ever since. But
Speaker 1: you know, I'm here to say, God, bless, I think
Speaker 1: you're doing the right thing after all. Great o, my god,
Speaker 1: it is insane. You can't find good help anywhere. You
Speaker 1: open up to them and they think that their family
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, us first, right, I'll get the champagne. Darlene,
Speaker 1: come out, it's your mother. I don't, I don't. You
Speaker 1: can see the bump. I don't. I don't want to.
Speaker 1: It doesn't the bump bump, schmump. You know how we
Speaker 1: say that he loves you, we love you. Come out
Speaker 1: of the bathroom. Okay, here I come, Okay, what do
Speaker 1: you think? God, it's bad, Darlene, Darlene, it's bad. Holy ship, Dad,
Speaker 1: here's your dad, carl You know I shouldn't. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even be. I'm an accountant. I'm an accounting at a
Speaker 1: big four accounting firm. This shouldn't be happening to me.
Speaker 1: What do you What does that have to do with anything?
Speaker 1: That's just I'm just I'm just saying, like I have
Speaker 1: a good job. I have a job in an office,
Speaker 1: I have a cubicle, and what does that have to
Speaker 1: do with love and weddings and a huge bump? I
Speaker 1: just thought my career was my first priority. Now not.
Speaker 1: This baby might be competing with my account. Oh Danny, congratulations,
Speaker 1: you have to marry this one. Do you see what
Speaker 1: you've done? You've split the family trust. How do you
Speaker 1: feel about this? Dad? I didn't think that it was
Speaker 1: I didn't think that I was worrying protection. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was just I guess a passionate night. Uh, maybe
Speaker 1: we can, maybe we can figure something out other than
Speaker 1: getting married, Like what, Denny, I don't know. Maybe we
Speaker 1: say it's not mine. Ktch you ktch you? Is it
Speaker 1: too late to turn this around? Brilliant, say it's not yours? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you wanted to speak to me? Yes, Uh, well, I
Speaker 1: was just you can't see her. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It might can't matter because I think we're calling off
Speaker 1: the wedding. It turns out that I took my d
Speaker 1: n a test in and I don't think it's mine.
Speaker 1: And yeah, so we're going to call off the wedding. Um,
Speaker 1: and I really regret it. I think she's wonderful. And
Speaker 1: you guys, don don't get Carl over here. He's don't
Speaker 1: get car babe. What he's saying. He's going to call
Speaker 1: off the wedding. Something about a DNA test. Who else said?
Speaker 1: Oh Peter, huh Peter, the man who's gonna marry Yeah, yeah, yeah, Danny,
Speaker 1: you're thinking I just said, weddings remind me of him.
Speaker 1: Weddings remind me of him. Look, I don't know he
Speaker 1: died at the altar with you. That's not my fault.
Speaker 1: All right, drink daddy? Do we drink champagne? Now you
Speaker 1: can drink it off. Better be getting fucked up on
Speaker 1: that good shampoo? Can I get you three? Or four?
Speaker 1: You get me a couple of bottle? Uh? Well, I
Speaker 1: guess carl, Um, we're going to call off the ding.
Speaker 1: My dad and I have both agreed. We looked at
Speaker 1: a DNA and it turns out, uh yeah, it turns
Speaker 1: out that it's it's probably not mine. Um, if you
Speaker 1: call them this wedding, I'm gonna go je out your eyes.
Speaker 1: We're gonna piss, and your dad's go My dad said
Speaker 1: that this might come up, so like, um, we we're
Speaker 1: prepared to offer you one hundred thousand dollars if we
Speaker 1: can just call off this wedding and we'll both go
Speaker 1: our ways. Can I be honest with you? Take the money.
Speaker 1: Take the money. He's not offering you. No, No, Darlene
Speaker 1: has a say in this, does she does? Daddy? I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, she does have a saying it, but I
Speaker 1: don't think I have the heart to tell it to her.
Speaker 1: So I'd rather just you guys be the middleman between
Speaker 1: a huge bump those horns. What is it, Danny, I'm
Speaker 1: not supposed to see you today. It's our wedding day. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's what I've come to That's what I've come to say.
Speaker 1: Is I think it's you want to move the time up?
Speaker 1: Do it sooner? Okay? I like that. It's it's been
Speaker 1: it's been like eight months since we made love. There's
Speaker 1: no way that's my baby. Uh. It's are you on
Speaker 1: the groom side or bride side? I was thought was
Speaker 1: divided according to blue color and white color? Oh, oh,
Speaker 1: I guess, uh, because what means I'm on the groom side. Well,
Speaker 1: it's confusing because the bride is clearly white collar. She
Speaker 1: has a good job at an accounting for him. But
Speaker 1: her family, other than her mother is mostly blue collar.
Speaker 1: You can tell because of their crasser accents. Yes, now
Speaker 1: the groom side, I get a little confused. On there's
Speaker 1: a little white color and a little blue collar there.
Speaker 1: So it really said anywhere you sucking one? Can we
Speaker 1: move on? I'm trying to get into this wedding here.
Speaker 1: We're just trying to hash it out. Blue colors on
Speaker 1: the left, white colors on the right. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where we just said. I don't really know
Speaker 1: where I'm supposed to say. What do you do for
Speaker 1: a living? What do I do for I put? I
Speaker 1: may call mark cards out of stem cells, and instead
Speaker 1: you work with you design them, or you work with
Speaker 1: your hands physically making the cards. Can you see this
Speaker 1: guy already so we can come in? Sorry, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: there's been some confusion. Let me simplify this for you.
Speaker 1: If you make less than four dollars a year, please
Speaker 1: sit to your left. Thank you. If you make over
Speaker 1: four dollars a year, please sit to your right. When
Speaker 1: you left, you pointed to your left. So should I
Speaker 1: be over here or should I be over there? There's
Speaker 1: always one there's always one fucking as the group. Asking
Speaker 1: that question is a more important question. If we may,
Speaker 1: what if you make exactly full? It doesn't he How
Speaker 1: about that one spiky You am I in trouble. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to Oh wow, that's Jason Statham. He famously
Speaker 1: has that four D dollar year contract with Hollywood. It's crazy,
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Where do I get a keystone light? Keystone
Speaker 1: lights on the left and uh, we have a double
Speaker 1: I p A on the right. So you're working the event.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you're working. I thought you were. Yes, No,
Speaker 1: I'm working. I'm working the event. Oh my god, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. But I make one K a year. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's so you own the So if I was a guest,
Speaker 1: i'd be on the right. That's amazing. There's no labette,
Speaker 1: no lobets beer. Oh I forgot the Canadian family was coming.
Speaker 1: Are you you here from medicine hat? Yeah? Okay, well
Speaker 1: well we'll get at least a moose head. Okay, Darlene,
Speaker 1: you've heard the proposal. Pardon the use of that word.
Speaker 1: I just can I just say this, Darlene, like you
Speaker 1: really like when I met you, you seemed like you
Speaker 1: were I don't know like me. But then when I
Speaker 1: met your family, I could tell that you are not
Speaker 1: like me at all. But how did you You said
Speaker 1: you got a DNA test, but I and the baby
Speaker 1: haven't gotten them. So what does that even mean? Darlene,
Speaker 1: It's what my dad told me. My dad told me
Speaker 1: to say that where he said you guys wouldn't get it.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to see either of you. That's in fact,
Speaker 1: he's upset with me too. Don't cry, Darlene, don't cry.
Speaker 1: She's getting tears all over her bumps. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: are those don't sound like regular tears. Slow your breathing down.
Speaker 1: It is not a miracle. Not the scene too. We're
Speaker 1: gonna call the scene on. Get that back in there.
Speaker 1: See three comes from from pat v I P. Brett,
Speaker 1: who wrote, thank you guys for the endless last I've
Speaker 1: been listening since the very beginning, and there are a
Speaker 1: few things I look forward to as much as this podcast.
Speaker 1: Keep up the amazing work. Here's a scene suggestion. So
Speaker 1: like the Hedgehog is trying to keep his arch nemesis
Speaker 1: Dr robot Nick from his latest and most nefarious scheme,
Speaker 1: federal tax evasion. Love you all, Brett Gloria, you'll let
Speaker 1: me know in my three o'clock is here. I'd like
Speaker 1: to get it started. Please, they're here, they've been here
Speaker 1: for a while, Sir Gloria. Yes, I love you. I
Speaker 1: love you too. Okay, let's pair back the sas though
Speaker 1: about huh well, sir, I mean I keep on telling
Speaker 1: me three o'clock is here, and you keep on telling
Speaker 1: me to push it, and I have. Now I'm telling
Speaker 1: you I'm ready for my three o'clock. So let me
Speaker 1: know when they're here. There. They have their here, sir.
Speaker 1: They have been here. I might understand. There here now, Yes,
Speaker 1: and you can send them in if I asked yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I'll let you know. So you do you
Speaker 1: want me to send them intor I'll let you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: he'll be with you in just a little bit. Um,
Speaker 1: he's still working. I really need to get in there.
Speaker 1: It's pretty important. I have an appointment for three o'clock
Speaker 1: and it's well past three o'clock. I understand that. But
Speaker 1: he's just he's just working right now. So we'll just
Speaker 1: give him a moment and they'll be able to get
Speaker 1: you in as soon as you can. I promise you
Speaker 1: if there's a cafeteria on the third level. Uh, and
Speaker 1: if with this car here, there should be enough time
Speaker 1: for me to go to the cafeteria if I have
Speaker 1: a three o'clock appointment. So I'd really like to if
Speaker 1: I could just sneak in there and talk to the
Speaker 1: tax accountant. I understand that, sir, just but he's very busy.
Speaker 1: Of course it's his tax season, and you know tax
Speaker 1: season goes from January to November. So it's just he's
Speaker 1: crazy busy. So just give it on a second. Hello,
Speaker 1: it's me. Is he there? Give me one second? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on by the way, stop okay, stop
Speaker 1: texting him, stop texting him, stop calling him, stop it all.
Speaker 1: I'm his assistant. I have to let him know an
Speaker 1: appointments are happening. I know what the fund is going on.
Speaker 1: I'm not sucking him. Oh can you tell me you
Speaker 1: love him? Yes? I do love Okay, sure what let
Speaker 1: me talk to it fine? Hold on one, said Mr
Speaker 1: robot Nick. Your wife is l ah oh ah, this
Speaker 1: is really awkward. Um, I overheard some of that conversation there. Okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead about it, wait for my appointment, Sir can
Speaker 1: you please just back up. I will cancel your appointment
Speaker 1: if you do not back So your appointment got canceled
Speaker 1: over there. And so you're looking for a new text team.
Speaker 1: Yes I can. Yeah, so my colleague Darlene, who's the
Speaker 1: one who usually handles the text, but she's out on leave.
Speaker 1: Let's just call it leave. But we can handle your business.
Speaker 1: This is tax season January through November, so but we
Speaker 1: always have room for a one more client. Come on
Speaker 1: and have a seat. Do you like leather? Oh sure, yes,
Speaker 1: take that leather chair. That's okay, yeah, lazy boy. That's
Speaker 1: that's from my clients. So I can see what's going
Speaker 1: on here. I'm gonna assume that you have some tax
Speaker 1: right offs that virus doesn't want you to have. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know that they don't want me to have them.
Speaker 1: I haven't really turned it in yet. I'm hoping that
Speaker 1: you could help me. Okay, let me take a quick
Speaker 1: look at your files. Oh, looks like you got a
Speaker 1: underground layer. We can write that off. We can write
Speaker 1: that off. We've got something some interesting write offs here.
Speaker 1: All right, Oh, this is very interesting, very interesting ammunition
Speaker 1: you great? Great? All right? Offs? All write offs? Um,
Speaker 1: anything peculiar in this set of paper that you've given me,
Speaker 1: anything I should know about in advance, honestly at all.
Speaker 1: Just I wouldn't know what peculiar is. I'm not a
Speaker 1: text guy. Peculiar is the word means like odd or
Speaker 1: not normal? No, I get the word peculiar. I just
Speaker 1: wouldn't be out of this pack paper. I see what
Speaker 1: you're saying, Ace. I don't understand why you have an
Speaker 1: underground cave and all this nine millimeter ammunition. What the
Speaker 1: hell is going on? It's for my pet detective business.
Speaker 1: I need to make sure lots of tranquilizers and many
Speaker 1: different things that I could use to, you know, save animals.
Speaker 1: I get the saving animals, but the nine millimeter rounds,
Speaker 1: I mean, did your stockpiling? The f the A is
Speaker 1: gonna know for sure that you can boy all this.
Speaker 1: I don't think the FDA works with things like this.
Speaker 1: I think they do because little bits of food or
Speaker 1: inside every bullet that can be true. Open up one
Speaker 1: of the bullets. Alrighty, then I'll do that right now.
Speaker 1: Uh uh oh, well it's powder. Boss explained how this
Speaker 1: is in our jurisdiction again, okay? Top down, top down, okay,
Speaker 1: top down, all right, is not how we do it? Yeah, yeah, goad.
Speaker 1: When does it involve food and or drugs? Yes it does, Yes,
Speaker 1: it does. What I think? You keep explaining this. Okay
Speaker 1: for the last time. No one bring up Lenny. Okay,
Speaker 1: stop bringing up Lenny for the last time. Okay. If
Speaker 1: anyone just you're fired if you do Okay, no questions. Okay.
Speaker 1: I swear to God he made me a tune amount
Speaker 1: and Roger, I heard you say any dead. Shut then up, guys.
Speaker 1: I was undercovered at an Ammo factory. Alright, we were
Speaker 1: making bullets. Just just get ahold of yourself. Stop crying.
Speaker 1: Tears have so many. Shouldn't hit the stool. This is
Speaker 1: like that best movie of what it's like what he
Speaker 1: did to Lenny earlier, killed Lenny. Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: twice the well I mean you, I mean, we would
Speaker 1: have been able to save him, but it looks like
Speaker 1: he was on the ground for five minutes before and
Speaker 1: he helped us giving It's nothing funny, doctor, So I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking of something very he he ha ha.
Speaker 1: Well do you want to share it because we just
Speaker 1: had a horrible day. Would like I would love to Uh,
Speaker 1: just so in your mind, imagine a little tiny hamster,
Speaker 1: but it's got human legs and human arms, a tiny body.
Speaker 1: It's it's just like a little potato with Oh. I
Speaker 1: kept the I kept the limbs at human side, so
Speaker 1: I thought it was a very big amster. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I said, I imagine now you see it. That's funny.
Speaker 1: And the hell I didn't move around. First of all,
Speaker 1: Mr Kerry, let me just say on behalf of the
Speaker 1: whole team here. We're super excited that you're you're doing
Speaker 1: the voice of Dr robot Nick, and uh, if we
Speaker 1: just jump in on page seven there, that's the first
Speaker 1: first bit there for Dr robot Nick and uh, listen,
Speaker 1: just have fun with it, and uh, let's lay down
Speaker 1: what you're feeling. Love the again, super excited and uh
Speaker 1: and go ahead take your own Bob Bob. I think
Speaker 1: he wants to be called Ace. I know it's crazy.
Speaker 1: He's in cont You're so Ace. Whenever you're ready, appreciate it,
Speaker 1: all right, thank you? All right? Sound can I get
Speaker 1: the three beeps bee? All right, Sonic, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: going to the Green Hills. And if I catch you
Speaker 1: one time stealing, Hey, Ace, can I just stop you
Speaker 1: right there? Thank you? It's going great. First of all,
Speaker 1: super excited that you're here and they're bringing all that energy.
Speaker 1: That's that's really something. Let's see if we can uh
Speaker 1: enter into I don't know the century with um the
Speaker 1: way people speak, so what you're talking about. This character's timeless,
Speaker 1: but that rhythm feels a little like the nineties, so uh,
Speaker 1: just keep that in mind. The vacuum way ways sonic
Speaker 1: the Hedgehog is from the nineties, if not the late eighties.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. Just trying to stay real with it.
Speaker 1: And I appreciate that, and I assume that's where you're
Speaker 1: coming on from. But we're introducing a whole new audience
Speaker 1: to Dr Robotic. But that was this. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just Jim Carrey and his aspent ship and our goddamn
Speaker 1: sound producer fighting each other. You give me eight hours
Speaker 1: worth of tape like this is anything usable? What the
Speaker 1: hell is this pod cast? What is there anything? My
Speaker 1: podcast is two words. No, I'm just that's all. But
Speaker 1: talk to me normal, don't do this. Don't do this,
Speaker 1: talk to me normal. Listen, Tim and I are partners.
Speaker 1: We get to this level and we we deliver all right.
Speaker 1: You know the last project we worked on, the Alberta Conquest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was us. That was us. So do you want
Speaker 1: you want some catching? Do you want some catching or
Speaker 1: some canoe? You know what I mean? Get the funk
Speaker 1: out of my office podcast. It's the future. We'll take this.
Speaker 1: We'll take this to your competiti Look, do it, do it.
Speaker 1: We've got eight hours here, do it. Al right, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm running a brick and mortar podcast store and
Speaker 1: I'm losing my shirt on this, you know, so if
Speaker 1: there's anything they can turn it around, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear it. My colleague Tim is going to take the
Speaker 1: lead at this point. Are you familiar with one ace Fnura? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Jim Carrey movers in the nineties sequel It was worse great.
Speaker 1: So you know who Jim Carry is? Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: who Jim Carry is. M hmmm. You're familiar with Sonic
Speaker 1: the Hedgehog, yes, and if you're really with the podcast
Speaker 1: serial yeah, yeah, yeah. I look, I read a brick
Speaker 1: and mortar store. I took over at Amiba Records, so
Speaker 1: I've got, you know, thousands of square footage to fill
Speaker 1: with podcasts. Okay, that's a that's like a like a
Speaker 1: tower records. Yeah, say, I'm good, yeah yeah, mostly mostly
Speaker 1: a California thing. But yeah, okay again, are you familiar
Speaker 1: with ace? This sound cereal? It put it all together
Speaker 1: for me, put it all together. But that's that's that's
Speaker 1: just it. Are you familiar with a blended? Stop asking
Speaker 1: if I'm familiar with most things? Okay, most things? All right,
Speaker 1: try me. Do you know the biggest building in the world, Uh,
Speaker 1: the Louve? Okay, okay, maybe you don't know everything in
Speaker 1: the world loves pretty big. Been there. I did a
Speaker 1: residency at the Louve. Oh you do? What was your specialty?
Speaker 1: We're gonna get this patient into the classics room, stat
Speaker 1: hurry We're gonna lose them. Hurry hurry. Oh I got
Speaker 1: the snip. Whone is deep? What are we thinking? What palette?
Speaker 1: What kind of palette? Oh? Soccer blue Henry? Oh you guys,
Speaker 1: he saw all kinds of people die there. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: we're bringing that expertise here to your storefront in the
Speaker 1: form of a podcast. People need. Thank you. That's the
Speaker 1: end of your pitch. Thank you very much, Thank you. Look,
Speaker 1: I got I got two thousand copies of Guilly Guanca
Speaker 1: the Terso Factory that I can't unload. Okay, so look
Speaker 1: the podcast. I'm drowning here. I'm drowning here. Have you
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not a pitch guy. But have you
Speaker 1: ever thought about just serving coffee here as well? So
Speaker 1: people come in, they look for a podcast, they look
Speaker 1: for they flipped through, they see some stuff, and then
Speaker 1: the I'll have a cup of coffee. Oh that's good,
Speaker 1: that's good. Okay, okay, now, just we're just freestyling here,
Speaker 1: so don't don't take me work. That's good. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love freestyle. So so you said, uh, so are
Speaker 1: you familiar with the with the letters C and D
Speaker 1: just in general? Yes, yes, I'm a native English speaker.
Speaker 1: Good to know. Okay, some people are having a coffee,
Speaker 1: they're flipping around, maybe they're looking through some CDs. Look
Speaker 1: are you talking down to me because I sound blue color?
Speaker 1: Because I do. We got a guy, we gotta we
Speaker 1: know a guy at the Food and Drug Administration. We'll
Speaker 1: get you a permit. So coffee like that? Oh the fitties?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, if you can get me
Speaker 1: in with if you get me with the f d A. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: there's a bar just around the corner. We can swing by.
Speaker 1: You can meet the guys, they can meet you, and
Speaker 1: we can have a done deal. Hey, it's kind of
Speaker 1: the round over here. These guys are not gonna rent
Speaker 1: themselves anyways. Uh, you said somebody knew is coming by today?
Speaker 1: What did you mean by that? It said inside joke.
Speaker 1: You gotta be one of the FDA guys to get
Speaker 1: all right, coming up soon? That fucking guy anyways, want
Speaker 1: or the new You had some new recruit or something
Speaker 1: coming by today? What what were you saying that? I was, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so who's coming by? Who's bringing who? The new recruiter?
Speaker 1: I don't want to blow it. The whole point is
Speaker 1: the guy damn surprise. I was trying to be as
Speaker 1: vague and it's like because like you know, covert as
Speaker 1: possible to kind of like tantalize you in all right,
Speaker 1: you guys there we are, two beers, go drinking the
Speaker 1: way you Why don't you bring a tray? You grabbed
Speaker 1: him from the goddamn top, your fingers all over the
Speaker 1: goddamn Why don't you cut the guy a little slack? Thanks?
Speaker 1: Thanks Pete. We appreciate that. I see you. They're working
Speaker 1: with cheese, and then you gotta bring my beer with
Speaker 1: somed Is this about you and Connie? To bring your name?
Speaker 1: Mr Carry? Please open up. I'm not here, Mr Ventura.
Speaker 1: Will you please open the door? Oh alrighty the I
Speaker 1: R S. We asked the questions for you. Oh shit, sorry,
Speaker 1: not here right now. I'm looking right at you. Move
Speaker 1: your foot foot out of the door. No, no, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm coming. Okay here what a place? Okay, this is
Speaker 1: my friend. Why are you scared of my body? Get
Speaker 1: off of me, ma'am. I'm here to talk to him,
Speaker 1: Mr Ventura. Well, after you've done talking to him, maybe
Speaker 1: I have some questions you can answer. Take your hands
Speaker 1: out of my pants, miss, I want to see if
Speaker 1: there's a watch in there. What look, Mr Carry, I'm
Speaker 1: not just from the I R S. I'm also a
Speaker 1: huge fan. Okay, Oh well, then I'm sure that we
Speaker 1: can do something about this, about what whatever it is
Speaker 1: that you're here for. Man, there is uh yeah, hi,
Speaker 1: I was told you had some Penis watches. Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We got Penis watches. I got the Volvo Watches watches.
Speaker 1: I would love to just see the penis watches. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for something in a rolex. If you have, you
Speaker 1: come to this story, you're gonna get quality. I just
Speaker 1: don't want you to be limited by penis watches. All right,
Speaker 1: I can show your nipple watch. Blow your This thing
Speaker 1: is not understand it's not even made in this country,
Speaker 1: all right. It's just that when I have a lady
Speaker 1: over and she reaches down my pants to see what
Speaker 1: time it is. If you know what I'm saying, I
Speaker 1: wanted to feel some class and some expensive merchandise. Ye,
Speaker 1: wild berry, this has been a wonderful night. Now go ahead,
Speaker 1: give me make kids go to What the fuck is that?
Speaker 1: You don't you don't like? What the fund is that
Speaker 1: on your dick? What you maniac? Yeah? I can definitely see.
Speaker 1: I mean, that wasn't a real silver and that that
Speaker 1: ring around your penis that's gonna stay there. I don't
Speaker 1: know how we're gonna get that off, but yeah, that's tarnish.
Speaker 1: That's er. Sorry. I don't know what to tell you
Speaker 1: other than that we can. I can snip it off,
Speaker 1: you know. But what does the sound mean? Was that
Speaker 1: referred to? It was a poor sound for scissors, but
Speaker 1: ship ship. You know, I'm gonna discuss where's the where's
Speaker 1: the Mona Lisa should be? If you see that sign
Speaker 1: right there that says, uh Mona Lisa. Uh huh. Okay,
Speaker 1: turn left there. You're gonna walk down maybe two three miles.
Speaker 1: All right, you're gonna take a tunnel down. There's gonna
Speaker 1: be a train. You're gonna enter. Right. They're gonna ask
Speaker 1: you for your ticket. It's the same ticket that you bought.
Speaker 1: Don't think you have to buy a new one. All right,
Speaker 1: that's gonna take You're gonna get off on stop perry
Speaker 1: a all right, just like the drink. I'm gonna pop
Speaker 1: right out there. All right, you're gonna run up the stairs.
Speaker 1: You gotta go quick because there's loose dogs. I need
Speaker 1: your train ticket. That's a that's a museum ticket. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: I have a notepad here? Will that work? No? No, listen,
Speaker 1: I know there's some people giving misinformation saying your ticket
Speaker 1: to the loup gets you onto the train. Not true?
Speaker 1: All right, this isn't hold warts. Okay, So then I
Speaker 1: tore off a piece of legal pad that might be
Speaker 1: American thing. I'm not quite sure, but it's not. Are
Speaker 1: you America from No. I just went to a boarding
Speaker 1: school where uh in Detroit from Troit, Oh Town. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: look at this tattoo. I got holy right on my chest.
Speaker 1: Tigers Yeah, fann watch watching a nipple? Yeah you want
Speaker 1: to know the time please? Yeah, it's a two pm.
Speaker 1: Oh so I'm trying to gets the two sixteen train.
Speaker 1: I think a couple of from one Tigers fan to another. Right, Hey,
Speaker 1: Motown Baillies bag. That's about Philadelphia and that's our show
Speaker 1: for today. Beautiful, beautiful and beautiful. Thank you. Also, Damn Mutz.
Speaker 1: Let's go around the horn, as they say, starting with
Speaker 1: Craig Kakowski. Yeah. Follow me on Twitter at Kikowski or
Speaker 1: from my podcast at Craigslist Pea cast. You can listen
Speaker 1: to Craigslist Spooky Times where Carla and I listened to
Speaker 1: thirty one or we listen to and also watch thirty
Speaker 1: one Halloween related movies and thirty one Days. I'm loving
Speaker 1: the podcast. Don't forget their ten o's and christ Alvarado,
Speaker 1: thanks so very much, buddy, thank you. I love being here,
Speaker 1: love that the tools here is. It's so much fun. Craig,
Speaker 1: honest question, do you get scared watching these movies. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like it. I like it. I like a little vulnerability.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for this, don't I get scared. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's the exclusive James Zeeney. I just
Speaker 1: want to say how grateful I am the tools here.
Speaker 1: Uh A little known fact maybe people know when it
Speaker 1: when the West Side Comedy Theater was Westside Eclectic, the
Speaker 1: very first improv class I took their. A Tool was
Speaker 1: in it, and I miss him. I'm glad that he's here. Well,
Speaker 1: we appreciate that. I'm not sure how anyone listening would
Speaker 1: have known me. Thank you, well, I mean the people.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I might have told the story to you.
Speaker 1: Kevin was talking to you. I'm sure that people people
Speaker 1: listening definitely knew you were talking to me A tool.
Speaker 1: Thank you so damn much. Thank you to everyone here.
Speaker 1: I I really just that was that was great. This
Speaker 1: is a it's always fabulous to to listen to and
Speaker 1: now it's just just been an honor to be a
Speaker 1: part of it. So you'll please come back then. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and if anytime you want below duck stuff. Man, just
Speaker 1: it's usually going to be like a hate filled rant,
Speaker 1: but it'll be worth it. Right, you're you're excited for
Speaker 1: the next season starting in November two. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know much of that crew, but I'm I'm yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: excited always. Yeah. We love Captain Lee for the salty
Speaker 1: dog nature and the ridiculous Captain Lee is ums that
Speaker 1: he drops. He's a yeah, he's definitely a boss. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm the biggest Captain Lee, the one who wears gold
Speaker 1: all time. He's like, yeah, he does have a that's
Speaker 1: a captain, dude, that's what a captain looks like. Very
Speaker 1: old school. I I did Glenn a lot too. Um,
Speaker 1: Glenn goes by Glenn. That's what you needed. That's why
Speaker 1: you like it. It doesn't go by Captain Glenn. Sweet
Speaker 1: he's a sweetheart. He is a sweetheart, and he roll
Speaker 1: obviously and get the actual work done. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: pretty Uh well, listen, I'm just glad Hannah's out of
Speaker 1: the business completely. Joey Greer, Hey, where can folks find
Speaker 1: you on the socials? On and or internet? They can't
Speaker 1: find me on the socials. I'm off, which I recommend
Speaker 1: everyone to take a break from for a little bit,
Speaker 1: maybe two weeks, maybe a month. Just what do you
Speaker 1: Jesus christ fellow. But check me out on Twitch. I'm
Speaker 1: doing b S Comedy Bear Supplies doing shows every Wednesday,
Speaker 1: usually round seven o'clock. James likes to sporadically change the
Speaker 1: time on us because he's just that kind of fun dude.
Speaker 1: But check us out there. The videos still lived there,
Speaker 1: and I believe you can check out our past shows
Speaker 1: on our YouTube of Bear Supply. And if you weren't
Speaker 1: mentioning those shows here on this podcast, how would you
Speaker 1: promote them? Email? I'd ask you for your email and email. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great, appreciate that. Let's thank our engineering producers to
Speaker 1: the stars, Mr Doug Ban the fine folks that I
Speaker 1: heart media. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Thanking each and
Speaker 1: every damn one of you means the world to us
Speaker 1: that you're listening and that you're writing to us and
Speaker 1: letting us know what you think of every one of us.
Speaker 1: Uh continue to do so, write a review if it
Speaker 1: doesn't kill you, damn it. And tell everyone you've ever met,
Speaker 1: and please look out for each other when you go outdoors.
Speaker 1: Were as until next time? Sit but this spot there