Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alcomy this COVID nineteen
Speaker 1: and how's Kevin Polly goes that? And a chocolate dream
Speaker 1: pie this year? And thanks for as then I grass
Speaker 1: let's meet he show no particular order, please say hello
Speaker 1: and welcome back to a tool say Captain Lee. Admirer
Speaker 1: thoughts from the latest episode of Blue. I like it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something that's uh, maybe I shouldn't be saying,
Speaker 1: but I feel like Francesca's hair starts off at the
Speaker 1: start of the day amazing, and just through the day
Speaker 1: it just gets so while you're watching below deck, what's
Speaker 1: stealing your focus is Francesca's I mean Eddie. Eddie is
Speaker 1: doing a great job to I can't tell if I
Speaker 1: like him or if I find him annoying. I don't
Speaker 1: just the amount of complaining about new staff, like, hey,
Speaker 1: get used to it, train him, but don't. Yeah, don't
Speaker 1: want to hear that yipper yapper, yepper yapper. Hey it's
Speaker 1: James Heney, Jimmy no Jinks. What is your ideal time
Speaker 1: to get out of bed in the morning? Gosh, uh,
Speaker 1: I guess I wish I was getting out of bed
Speaker 1: at eight am, but instead, I'm usually in bed till
Speaker 1: nine am. So if you wish and you have the control, technically,
Speaker 1: maybe setting along. Actually, if if I was allowed to
Speaker 1: wish for any time to wake up, I'd wish i'd
Speaker 1: wake up like six am, because then I could do
Speaker 1: so much more. But unfortunately I have to wake up
Speaker 1: at nine what what? What do you? What do you mean? Unfortunately?
Speaker 1: Are you in prison? It's just it's I'm just tired
Speaker 1: and like it feels comfortable in my bed. What time
Speaker 1: are you up the night before? On average? On average,
Speaker 1: it's been really sporadic lately, I was there is It's
Speaker 1: hard to find an average. I'd say usually midnight, but
Speaker 1: I've been up to like three thirty in the morning recently, right,
Speaker 1: you know, so maybe less of that. Probably. It's actually,
Speaker 1: now that we've talked about it, I think this is
Speaker 1: actually going to make some of my wishes come true. Well, well,
Speaker 1: I think if I may, uh, I made the turn myself,
Speaker 1: I've night out my whole life. And then um, because
Speaker 1: Jamie has to have it getting up early, I thought,
Speaker 1: you know what, let's set an alarm. Let's set an
Speaker 1: alarm on my phone to go off at eight am,
Speaker 1: and I will just get the funk out of bed,
Speaker 1: and then eventually, of course, as we're all creatures of habit,
Speaker 1: I'm now going to sleep earlier so that I had
Speaker 1: no problem getting out. Do you wake up at eight am?
Speaker 1: Easily adjust to that? Probably half a year? Look out,
Speaker 1: it's Craig Kakowski. Ko uh. Tell us something about a
Speaker 1: childhood memory from Thanksgiving. Well, we always went to my
Speaker 1: aunt Ebba's house, and my parents are younger than their siblings,
Speaker 1: so all of my cousins are much older, and so
Speaker 1: the kid's table was just me, my sister, and one
Speaker 1: cousin and everybody adults. And Thanksgiving was by far the
Speaker 1: most boring holiday of the year for me. I'm sorry, Anteba,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, because it was you, your sister, and
Speaker 1: a bunch of older people. Yeah, yeah, And what was
Speaker 1: happening was people were just getting drunk. But I didn't even,
Speaker 1: you know, recognize what it was just like waiting for
Speaker 1: everybody to get drunk and then for my parents to
Speaker 1: sober up enough to to drive us home. But it
Speaker 1: just it took forever, and the house was not conducive
Speaker 1: to kids. I hated dressing up. I hate Thanksgiving because
Speaker 1: because of all that that, I don't have fond memories
Speaker 1: of it as a child, I've grown to like it
Speaker 1: more as an adult. You've you've laid claim to an
Speaker 1: adult version of your own. That's correct. And now I
Speaker 1: get drunk and you're boring. I'm boring that. Hey there's
Speaker 1: Jackie je favorite show, you binge during COVID. That's really
Speaker 1: hard for me. And as you ask you this, I
Speaker 1: can't think of a goddamn one, you know what you know?
Speaker 1: I started watching Veronica Mars and what a delight. First
Speaker 1: of all, everyone's in it like for what you know,
Speaker 1: It's like everyone's like one of their first shows that
Speaker 1: they're going to just be in for an episode. So
Speaker 1: that's really fun to watch. But it's just it's easy watching.
Speaker 1: It's high drama but for high schoolers. So it's really
Speaker 1: it's been a delightful throwback. Well, thanks for the recommend
Speaker 1: and if those of us those are the patron fans
Speaker 1: watching this. Later on on the recorded zoom, Jackie chose
Speaker 1: to not have light on her face. She's not in
Speaker 1: a witness protection situation. She made a creative choice. I'm
Speaker 1: in a closet and then is directly above me. Can't
Speaker 1: have her the computer up. Yeah, that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Joey's a problem solver, that's what he does. And Joey
Speaker 1: chose to have too much light on one part of
Speaker 1: this day. That's right. He went up and bought the
Speaker 1: chin light. Let's do a damn show. Oh no, Joey,
Speaker 1: we forgot about you last Joey Greer buzz killed baby.
Speaker 1: What happened during your last yard sale? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: if Hugh brawl broke out? Yeah, I had about like
Speaker 1: it was about like sixty people all came down. I
Speaker 1: was selling six zero sixty people. I was selling pre
Speaker 1: made um you know, Bravy juices, as well as like
Speaker 1: you know, all these like old rugs, different kind of hats.
Speaker 1: Uh these uh you know I had these, you know,
Speaker 1: the Steph Curry shoes, the under armer. For like a second,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna say yes anyway, So I got those
Speaker 1: over there, and I got about three pairs whim. I
Speaker 1: used to be a sneaker head, used to be a
Speaker 1: beball kind of guy, you know what I mean a
Speaker 1: little warm but not too worn out. You know, I
Speaker 1: will say this about the Steph currys though, the souls
Speaker 1: they will. If you're playing outdoor courts, they slick so
Speaker 1: easily and so quickly. It's just like I get I
Speaker 1: don't supposed to be playing indoor, but I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: pay five dollars to play an hour game of indoor basketball.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. The outdoor courts are free.
Speaker 1: I get fresh air, you know what I mean. Career
Speaker 1: Passage brought to you by Gravy Juice. Gravy Juice, Well,
Speaker 1: you've had a good workout and it's time for some gravy.
Speaker 1: I love all the sneaker heads who love Steph Curry's
Speaker 1: exactly that the dad shoos. Now let's do a damn show.
Speaker 1: All of our seen suggestions are gathered from your listener
Speaker 1: emails or from our Patreon v I p s to
Speaker 1: become a patron and support of the show and enjoy
Speaker 1: exclusive content like video of what we're doing right now
Speaker 1: and other perks. Just head on over to patreon dot
Speaker 1: com slash Alchemy there is If you'd like to submit
Speaker 1: a scene suggestion via email, well please do right to
Speaker 1: the podcast at your name here at Alchemy this I
Speaker 1: that's your name here at see one in fact constant
Speaker 1: patron v I P. Will who wrote my beloved alchemists,
Speaker 1: William Morris here from upstate St. Louis, And this year
Speaker 1: keeps dishing out as this year keeps dishing out punishment
Speaker 1: to the world, nation, and to me personally. I find
Speaker 1: myself leaning more and more on your antics as a
Speaker 1: black man. I especially appreciate the spotlight you've put on
Speaker 1: African American improv actors. It feels really good to know
Speaker 1: it's not just Wayne Brady, very nice. A scientist makes
Speaker 1: a horrifying discovery that cheese, all cheese is as and
Speaker 1: has always been sentient, but unable to let us know. Interesting.
Speaker 1: I love you all so much. Please day safe and healthy. Ps.
Speaker 1: I have such a crush on Caroline Connor, oh a
Speaker 1: poop man. All right, well let her know how much
Speaker 1: can we get today? Hold on a second, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: my wife's in the back office. What is it, honey?
Speaker 1: Can you just eat something please? You've been working all day? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I'll eat I'll Can you make a cheese plate forest place,
Speaker 1: of course? Yes, of course, thank you? All right, So
Speaker 1: how can I help you? I am from the deliberation
Speaker 1: OFCTO Space Foods I have been here. I need to
Speaker 1: let you know about something pretty startling, and I need
Speaker 1: to show you something that I've brought inside of my jacket.
Speaker 1: Did the deliberation send you or are you on your own?
Speaker 1: It's deliberate in nature. And this here I'm gonna leave
Speaker 1: for you is Jesus. Jesus. Jesus is here for the cheese.
Speaker 1: And I believe at all it's just the cheese as is.
Speaker 1: I can do cubes, I can do slices. I mean
Speaker 1: it's all sliced. But what do you have a You're
Speaker 1: gonna feel pretty shameful in moments when you find out
Speaker 1: what kind of monster you are? Young lady? Who the
Speaker 1: hell did that all? What did you say to me?
Speaker 1: You're in my house? Mr? What did you just say
Speaker 1: to me? You know I said. You're gonna feel pretty
Speaker 1: ashamed of yourself in a moment when you find out
Speaker 1: what kind of monster you are? Oh? Is that what
Speaker 1: it is? Is Is you're gonna call me a monster? Is
Speaker 1: that what she's gonna talk to me from behind? Could
Speaker 1: you just tell her to come in the room, sir? Uh.
Speaker 1: If this is the position you and your deliberation are taking,
Speaker 1: you may want to do so down the road. A
Speaker 1: peace my wife is not a battle you want to wage. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: then I'll let you and your wife be here alone
Speaker 1: with cheese, and I'll be on my way. Good day.
Speaker 1: And did you give them the message? I gave them
Speaker 1: the message. They didn't seem to be responsive, but I'm
Speaker 1: sure Jesus will find its way. I think it will be.
Speaker 1: You're representing the d LBF to everybody else in the world.
Speaker 1: I am doing the best that I can. I was
Speaker 1: following my heart and following my feet. Are you three here?
Speaker 1: Is there a meeting going on? Yes, two o'clock. I
Speaker 1: thought that was Central Jee. No, no, mountain mountain time.
Speaker 1: It's always mountain time. I know. I know we're in
Speaker 1: the mountains. Yeah, I know, but most things are Central Time.
Speaker 1: So most of the country it's higher the time zone,
Speaker 1: the closer to God. I know, I know how it works.
Speaker 1: All right. Wait, if you thought it was on Central time,
Speaker 1: then you were here an hour ago. Yeah, I'm about
Speaker 1: to leave. I went to the bathroom for an hour.
Speaker 1: End of your business. But yes, I mean that that
Speaker 1: becomes my business. I mean that's a plumbing problem. Eventually,
Speaker 1: what will pay for Okay? I had the Breathe there
Speaker 1: you wanted to hear that you had the bree What
Speaker 1: what what do you mean you had to Brix? You
Speaker 1: mean you had the Saint Brix. Saint Brix. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: you could be disqualified from the deliberation. Wait, is this
Speaker 1: official meeting or not an official meeting? That's we have
Speaker 1: to decide if he shall be curdled or not. He's
Speaker 1: not colonel him. Don't curdel no, no, and now he
Speaker 1: is one with the cheese. Okay, welcome back to our listeners.
Speaker 1: My guest again today is Larry Felkmore. He is the
Speaker 1: author of this incredible piece of on fiction called The
Speaker 1: Cheese in Me. And right before we broke uh for
Speaker 1: a local ad read uh you you were telling us
Speaker 1: about the second phase of your discovery. If you wouldn't mind, Well,
Speaker 1: it's um. The second phase of the discovery is not
Speaker 1: only is the cheese in Me, but the cheese is sacred?
Speaker 1: You know? Can we change the station? This is just
Speaker 1: like what the I'm listening to this right of course,
Speaker 1: put on something else. Man, It's just like the house
Speaker 1: didn't even seem to give us. He's just upset about
Speaker 1: the local ad pies. This is really good content, though,
Speaker 1: pay for the show man. Just I'm listening. This is
Speaker 1: important and open your ears up and you'll learn something.
Speaker 1: I hate to interrupt you again, but we've another ad.
Speaker 1: We need to tell you some of these are really good.
Speaker 1: At Larry's House of Chevrolet. Larry's, you guys know they
Speaker 1: put this out in podcast for him. They cut, they
Speaker 1: cut the ads when they do that, Oh so great.
Speaker 1: So the so the episodes are probably went four minutes long. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean they're like a full podcast length. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't have to listen to it live. Let's just
Speaker 1: put some I don't tell you guys what to put
Speaker 1: on the radio when it's your turn. If it's my
Speaker 1: turn to put things on the radio, I'll put what
Speaker 1: I want on and to radio. Come. Larry's was the
Speaker 1: place for you. We have Chevrolets. We have heard this
Speaker 1: add This is my my daddy. I'm looking at sell
Speaker 1: a cavralet today. Who wants to come down? Cavallet? She said,
Speaker 1: a cavallet. It's a local ad to meet me and
Speaker 1: my daughter and our Chevrolets. We're on you guys want
Speaker 1: a sandwich while we wait for the new sting right
Speaker 1: for my daddy. I got a I got a Provolone,
Speaker 1: I gotta monterate Jack, and I got a Swiss. Drag
Speaker 1: me the Swiss. What did you say? What was that?
Speaker 1: I said? I got a Provolone, I gotta monterate Jack,
Speaker 1: and I got a Swiss like Monterey Jack? What the
Speaker 1: fun is going on? Dud? What are you doing? You
Speaker 1: stay on your voice throwing my voice? Why what are
Speaker 1: you hearing? I don't know. I think the cheese is
Speaker 1: talking to me. Yeah, that's right, I've done any face?
Speaker 1: What the hell? Oh my god, write Jack stuff? Now
Speaker 1: you too? Jack? What's the getting there? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Kissed her to Abel and gless. This is insane. These
Speaker 1: cheeses are speaking, man, What do they sound like? Well,
Speaker 1: one of them sounds Australian, the Monterey Jack, and Riss
Speaker 1: does sound Swiss. So is that I play on Kangaroo Jack?
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, man. Do you think Jack
Speaker 1: Mexican accident? I was actually yeah, I was thinking something
Speaker 1: like you know Southwestern yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But
Speaker 1: this is what I don't understand, man. I don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on. I think the provolone is dead. What
Speaker 1: do you mean dead. It's cheese. It's all dead. No man,
Speaker 1: no man, something's got man, this Jesus are alive. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm being talked to by God right now.
Speaker 1: I think God is talking to me through these cheeses. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you just want chips or I'll take all. I'll
Speaker 1: take the Swiss cheese. No, you don't get I made
Speaker 1: three sandwiches of three different cheeses for the three of us.
Speaker 1: I'm in rati. Should I eat you now? Monterey is dead?
Speaker 1: Jack is dead. I don't know what hell? Why are
Speaker 1: they dying? All right, I'm biting into the fucking Swiss. Okay, now, honey,
Speaker 1: I need you to honestly keep up with the five
Speaker 1: jobs because I have another great book idea. So I
Speaker 1: can't go back into the workforce if I'm going to
Speaker 1: be writing my next you know, with all the different
Speaker 1: jobs that I've been working, it's just hard to it's
Speaker 1: hard to also keep up the house. I just feel
Speaker 1: like maybe you should it. Just really, maybe one of
Speaker 1: the other things you've written to pay off. You got
Speaker 1: when the iron is hot, and when the creative iron
Speaker 1: is hot, you've got a stride Marco there. Hello, Oh,
Speaker 1: that's who is that, Marco? Matter? Get back? Get back? Yes? Mark?
Speaker 1: Are you doing this? Is? This is Taylor over at
Speaker 1: Sandwiches and Slides. I just want you to know that
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to pick up a couple of extramore ships.
Speaker 1: All right, what are you doing at my house? I
Speaker 1: don't like call it. I think it's impersonal. I like
Speaker 1: scheduling person. Okay, I appreciate that. I would have hated
Speaker 1: to miss a shift. I need extra shifts. Thank you. Um,
Speaker 1: I guess I'll see you at work. Ye okay, goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 1: Well you're in luck. They need me for some o.
Speaker 1: T Okay, Marco, I saw the way he was looking
Speaker 1: at you, the way he talked to you. He said,
Speaker 1: I'll see you later. He's just my boss. He's saying,
Speaker 1: he'll see me, just your boss. You don't think I
Speaker 1: know how the world works. That man couldn't stop winking. Now,
Speaker 1: either he has some kind of infection in the eye
Speaker 1: or he's got eyes from my girl. No. I don't
Speaker 1: have time to deal with this, but I want you
Speaker 1: to deal with it, okay, because I got the creative juices.
Speaker 1: I gotta work on the book. But I swear to
Speaker 1: God margot. Oh and actually he said that you're not
Speaker 1: allowed to come into the sandwich shop, and and right
Speaker 1: there all day, like you'd have to buy something. And
Speaker 1: I can't get you. I can't get the internet here.
Speaker 1: I can't get the internet here. Your five jobs aren't supporting.
Speaker 1: It looks like you need to pick up the thing.
Speaker 1: Why is the sandwiches and slides? Yeah? I can we
Speaker 1: help you. Yeah? Can I get a how's the how's
Speaker 1: the Philly cheese? It's not my favorite? Okay? Okay, um?
Speaker 1: How about the reuben? Let me ask you this. Are
Speaker 1: you from Philadelphia? I am Philadelphia native. You definitely won't
Speaker 1: like our Philly cheese. Good. I'll do the pastrami ruben.
Speaker 1: And then what kind of slides do you have? Uh?
Speaker 1: We have the cubana. We have the turkey and cheese.
Speaker 1: That's a cheddar. Okay, so those are slides. Those are slides.
Speaker 1: Did you want slides the shoes or sliders the sandwich?
Speaker 1: Some people call them slides? Oh they do, Okay, I sorry,
Speaker 1: I was imagining something else. I was imagining I would
Speaker 1: get to play, like in a playground while eating a sandwich.
Speaker 1: So like a five year old goes down a slide exactly, yes,
Speaker 1: kind and how old are you, sir, I'm just guessing
Speaker 1: you your early forties? Yeah, I'm in my early yeah, right,
Speaker 1: early eight. What's the death right? Because you're going down
Speaker 1: a slide, you probably feel like you're six. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: there's no slides. So you wanted to have a Philly
Speaker 1: cheese even, get back to your original idea and then
Speaker 1: go down. I'm with a customer, sir, Connor, and you
Speaker 1: go down the side while you're eating, Connor, can I
Speaker 1: talk to Is that about it, right, sir? The hope
Speaker 1: was to eat it. I'm gonna go to Hoges and Swings. Okay, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, Welcome to Hoges and Swings. Um, what would
Speaker 1: you like? And? Uh, we must require you to wear
Speaker 1: a condom when swinging. Wait wait what you have to
Speaker 1: wear a condom? Went swinging? Oh? I shouldn't have had that, sin. Okay,
Speaker 1: let me get a let me get a Philly cheese
Speaker 1: w w whiz um? And what kind of sandwich would
Speaker 1: you like? A Philly cheese whiz? Do you want the
Speaker 1: dude from Philly we'll use his whiz on you or
Speaker 1: do you want something else? Connor? Connor, you're gonna get
Speaker 1: yourself fired. I can't cover any more shifts for any
Speaker 1: more employees. Please just listen. Listen to Gary and just
Speaker 1: follow his lead. He's the boss. Why he's an idiot.
Speaker 1: I mean, of course he's an idiot. That's boss's job.
Speaker 1: So follow the idiot lead. Everybody else keeps getting fired,
Speaker 1: and I've already got four other jobs than this. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't do more at one place. All right, I'll
Speaker 1: do as the idiot says. Okay, time now, Bruce, you said, uh,
Speaker 1: hogis and swings? Was that it? Or what was the
Speaker 1: place you wanted the company meet up to be? A
Speaker 1: hogs and swings swings? Okay? Great? I have an awkward
Speaker 1: interaction with them, but once once it got started, it
Speaker 1: was unbelievable. Okay, great they have they have foot longs there,
Speaker 1: they have hoogies, they have foot longs. Well, uh huh yeah.
Speaker 1: And swings and swings. Oh, I mean that'll be fun
Speaker 1: to burn the calories off on a nice little swinging swing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Yes. Anyway, Um, so I've been looking over
Speaker 1: at the reports that you were giving me, and it
Speaker 1: seems that you're drawing a lot of little action figures
Speaker 1: on there. You're drawing like what would be prototype figures.
Speaker 1: I can only igine that as someone in the early forties,
Speaker 1: you're you're probably thinking about maybe jumping into a whole
Speaker 1: new career. Yeah, I mean, I know, I'm in I'm
Speaker 1: in my early forties. I just turned forty nine, and um,
Speaker 1: thank you? Uh, why are we not? Why are we
Speaker 1: not selling more action figures? Well, but we make tires. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's kind of the main thing we do, so you know,
Speaker 1: I mean we can definitely get some of the some
Speaker 1: of the materials. Well, what about dr Radio who I drew?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean that. Yeah, we can definitely do
Speaker 1: some kind of tired maybe you know what you can do?
Speaker 1: Why don't we just start doing like a local ad
Speaker 1: read for this different radio stations, damn radio, right, this
Speaker 1: would not be a bad idea. Why don't you head
Speaker 1: are I want you us start over there at the
Speaker 1: start of the copy and I'd say, um, okay, just
Speaker 1: we're looking for pace, so you know, you've gotta move tires,
Speaker 1: but also you know it's a fun place to be.
Speaker 1: Keep that up, all right, Take your own start queue,
Speaker 1: thank you, take my own star que. Okay, four three
Speaker 1: to one start start start, youre we go. Okay, if
Speaker 1: I can stop you, you don't need to say any
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, I just meant if that's what you're
Speaker 1: thinking before you begin. Okay, So you're recording, then I'm recording.
Speaker 1: I've been recording since you arrived. Okay, so sorry, this
Speaker 1: is a podcast as well as a recording studio for
Speaker 1: commercial time. I just wasn't sure. Um, excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 1: I represent the d LBF, the Deliberation of Lactose Based Foods.
Speaker 1: We have a we have book studio time. Yes, I understand, sir.
Speaker 1: Your name is Clyde Stevenson. Clyde Stevenson. Right, Okay, they've
Speaker 1: got you set up in the studio next door. Actually
Speaker 1: they told me. They told me I was an hour early.
Speaker 1: Are you on mountain time? We are not on mountain time.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Yeah, we're on Well I guess you
Speaker 1: could says you have cars and needs tires tires are
Speaker 1: what's that? Fine? I'm sorry, I had just already done.
Speaker 1: You have cars and I'm just reading the coffee man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Margo Bargo. It's it's like Michael, who is that in
Speaker 1: the morning? Who the fund is? I don't know I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. Oh what what are you doing here? It's
Speaker 1: like one in the morning. Hey, Margot, I just was
Speaker 1: over at Kenny's house and he told me he's not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to make his shift them all to
Speaker 1: come over tomorrow though. Well he just told me, so
Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you that you to open tomorrow,
Speaker 1: all right. I have to check with my husband. I
Speaker 1: don't know if we share a car, so um, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'll be able to get a ride
Speaker 1: that early. Uh, hold on, just do you want to
Speaker 1: come inside? It's late. I'd prefer to stay out in
Speaker 1: the cold if you don't want okay, well just hold
Speaker 1: here one second. Hot, Yeah, what what's going on in?
Speaker 1: My boss is here from slides and sandwiches and slides.
Speaker 1: I've got so many jobs. It's so hard to keep
Speaker 1: traka Um. He needs me to open in the morning.
Speaker 1: I think that that's uh. I don't know what. Could
Speaker 1: you please give me a ride or maybe just let
Speaker 1: me have the Is this guy doing here in my
Speaker 1: house one thirty in the morning. Come in here. He's
Speaker 1: in love with you, Margot. He's in love with He's
Speaker 1: talking over me. Excuse me, Margot, excuse me. Sorry, you
Speaker 1: gotta side. Don't don't tell me what to do, Marco,
Speaker 1: do not tell me to put on clothes again. So
Speaker 1: you've got a problem. No, no, I don't you think
Speaker 1: you're you think that you're stronger than me because you
Speaker 1: can stand out in the quilt. I don't know. Look
Speaker 1: at me, make this snow angel right now? Buck naked.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Hi, welcome to Winners in corn Hole.
Speaker 1: How can I help you today? I'm looking for a
Speaker 1: place to have a business retreat. Okay, So I wanted
Speaker 1: to have food and as well as some casual leisurely activity.
Speaker 1: So I guess I wanted to try out the cornhole aspect. Sure, yes,
Speaker 1: of course. So the winners in the corn Holes what
Speaker 1: we specialized in, so private party of how many? How
Speaker 1: many folks in the party? Six six people? So not
Speaker 1: much of a company really, when you say corporate retreat,
Speaker 1: support support of directors, so they directors team on the company.
Speaker 1: So I gotta take a break, man, my corn hole.
Speaker 1: Mean I gotta take a break, all right, sir, baby,
Speaker 1: I think I have to quit. I mean, I know
Speaker 1: this is a great job, but that corporate cheose fucked.
Speaker 1: We played corn hall all day, but they had their
Speaker 1: wieners out, and I'm the only female, so I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. So I just kind of I
Speaker 1: just kind of maneuvered things and how my clit out.
Speaker 1: I just watched we just gonna watch the TV. We
Speaker 1: just let me watch the TV. Having a serious cheese
Speaker 1: is sentient that would be seen one and a half
Speaker 1: couples from Emmanuel, who wrote, are you wonderful people? My
Speaker 1: most recent scenes suggestions didn't cut it because it had
Speaker 1: to do with you all playing Kevin as a character
Speaker 1: in a multiverse setting. To my defense, this was way
Speaker 1: before you announced that you didn't want any more suggestions
Speaker 1: like that, So anyways, it doesn't matter. I'm not mad
Speaker 1: at you anymore. My new scene suggestion is so I
Speaker 1: read it with all that sort of flair to give
Speaker 1: some of the fans out there an idea when you
Speaker 1: write in if you come at me with that much tude,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna recreate it, uh in the reading of your email.
Speaker 1: And also to give faith to those who, uh who
Speaker 1: didn't think I would ever use your suggestion after coming
Speaker 1: at me with that much tude, We're gonna use your
Speaker 1: suggestion here that uh, my suggestion is what really went
Speaker 1: down in the forty years of desert traveling, if not
Speaker 1: wandering with Moses. I really hope you guys are well,
Speaker 1: and please please keep up the good work. You're all amazing.
Speaker 1: Kind regards, Emmanuel Gonzalez, Sweden, Debora, Debora, come here, come here,
Speaker 1: you want How do you think that this rock looks?
Speaker 1: It looks okay, it looks at the same thing it
Speaker 1: looked yesterday. All right? What do you want to think
Speaker 1: he's gonna notice me today? I don't fuck no, I'm
Speaker 1: so goddamn hungry. I'm sick of eating skybread. Okay, I
Speaker 1: want something else, all right, I want cheese, skybread and honey.
Speaker 1: What's the problem. That's the problem. What's the problem. I
Speaker 1: think everyone here has diabetes. Okay, that's what I think
Speaker 1: is a problem. Okay, there's too much sugar going around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I said it. Okay, we got a problem. We got
Speaker 1: an epidemic. It's really hard not to take what you're
Speaker 1: going through personally, but I'm going to choose to look
Speaker 1: past it because I've decided to turn a new leaf
Speaker 1: and be a new woman, one that's desirable. Are you
Speaker 1: worshiping that golden calf? Yes? Am I not supposed to be? No,
Speaker 1: what emos you say? What emos to say? I honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't know. When he talks. I just kind of
Speaker 1: it's just so boring. It's it's the tone in which
Speaker 1: he talks. It's almost like it's it's like the opposite.
Speaker 1: It's I think it's also the mumbling because sorry, please
Speaker 1: don't in his mouth was burned with a stone as
Speaker 1: a child. Okay, we all know this. Okay, here, I've
Speaker 1: got a little bit. I've got just a little bit
Speaker 1: of it. It's canned spam, but I've been keeping it
Speaker 1: for myself. If you want just a little bit, I
Speaker 1: can share just the tiniest bit of canned spam with you.
Speaker 1: But it's there's limited supplies, so you know what, I'll
Speaker 1: do what you want. I'm gonna listen to the radio.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna chill out. Are you going to be wandering
Speaker 1: the desert anytime soon? Perhaps you've got a trip with
Speaker 1: the family coming up. Try can spam. It's good for
Speaker 1: all the members of the family, even granddad. Happy wandering
Speaker 1: from your friends? It can great? Can you try that
Speaker 1: for some more time? Yeah? Sure? What are you? What
Speaker 1: are we looking for? When you try it with a
Speaker 1: little more urgency and um and a little more youth. Now,
Speaker 1: why am I in a hurry? Because you can't wait
Speaker 1: to eat the spam? You're hungry and you need this
Speaker 1: sustenance and this is exactly what's going to keep you
Speaker 1: alive for the next day or so. So while telling
Speaker 1: people about can spam, I'm also eating it. Why do
Speaker 1: you try that? Yeah? Why don't I try that? Great?
Speaker 1: Exactly the same copy, just one more time? Think terrific.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Look spam out of your mouth because I
Speaker 1: can't really understand what you're saying. I can't tell if
Speaker 1: it's the same copy. And okay, my boss is gonna
Speaker 1: get pissed. Okay, it was a big hunk. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: really was. That spamish ship. All right, here we go,
Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go, And I'm starting now.
Speaker 1: Are you in the family planning on wandering the desert soon?
Speaker 1: Perhaps you've got a trip with the old grand Turn
Speaker 1: that radio down, Turn that radio down, Pharaoh, we have
Speaker 1: a problem, big time, big z hugeoe problem. If you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I know what you mean when
Speaker 1: we had a big problem. So do you get what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to say? For it's a huge ee huge
Speaker 1: ee biggie biggie, kind of get to the problem. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's probably so big. I don't know if I can
Speaker 1: even say it. Can't even come out of my mouth.
Speaker 1: It's so goddamn big. It's a huge problem. Pharaoh, Are
Speaker 1: you done? Okay, get to the problem. Okay, it looks
Speaker 1: like the Temple of Cheese is melting. Okay, that is
Speaker 1: a big problem. That's a big problem. Did not think
Speaker 1: I thought I thought it was about people leaving. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, well let's see not to bring that up. Yeah, Felix,
Speaker 1: I remember my my my statements. All right, I don't
Speaker 1: have a writer by saying, Felix, do you want to
Speaker 1: interrupt me one more time? Felix, I'm telling you no,
Speaker 1: I don't I respect you. I love you. You're my
Speaker 1: god king, I'm your I think you're like one of
Speaker 1: the best. Okay, Felix, you're my wife's brother, my wife's brother,
Speaker 1: my wife's brother. Okay, Felix, let's go figure out this
Speaker 1: melted melted cheese Mount Cheese pyramid. Yeah, with the Temple
Speaker 1: of Cheese melted, but it's it melted over the storehouse
Speaker 1: for corn and the corn has like coalesced into these chips,
Speaker 1: and it's actually kind of delicious. What do you call it? Nachos? Whoa?
Speaker 1: I like to sign it? What do you so? You
Speaker 1: got the chips, the corn, and the cheese. The temple
Speaker 1: of cheese melted right on top of it. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and then what happens, Well I put some of these
Speaker 1: hot peppers on top. Okay, what does the hot peppers do?
Speaker 1: That just gives it a little kick? A zing? It
Speaker 1: gives it a zing. Yeah okay, I mean these might
Speaker 1: be great for taco thorne or whatever. The hell. We
Speaker 1: just so the to to to reiterate should we ever
Speaker 1: have to create this again. The corn turned into a
Speaker 1: flat chip. Yeah, I mean the corns just got smushed
Speaker 1: down and then the heat kind of baked it into
Speaker 1: a chip, so that ha yeah. Oh, and then that
Speaker 1: plague of locusts also landed on top of that. Those
Speaker 1: aren't as good, but they do, you know, they had
Speaker 1: a little more crunch. So not chose with locus, not
Speaker 1: chose without they are both options. Yeah. Do you ever
Speaker 1: feel guilty about worshiping this golden calf? I just feel
Speaker 1: like it's good for my skin. I don't know, I
Speaker 1: go revitalized by it, and I can't feel guilty about
Speaker 1: what makes me feel good, because that's that's on me.
Speaker 1: I agree. I just feel like we hide it from Moses,
Speaker 1: and I don't know why. I feel like if we
Speaker 1: showed him that this is what makes us feel so special,
Speaker 1: he'd get it. You know. Yeah, let's try it. Let's
Speaker 1: try it. Let's see if you get Did you do
Speaker 1: hear that Moses is going to speak tonight? Sorry for interrupting,
Speaker 1: but I'm just going around from to each camp letting
Speaker 1: everyone know tonight's tonight. He's going to speak tonight. Tell
Speaker 1: the truth. Do you understand what does he's even saying?
Speaker 1: Or does it just sound like mumbling and boring? If
Speaker 1: you're in the bag, it's a little mumbling, but if
Speaker 1: you come up front you can understand. M hm. Anyways,
Speaker 1: it's tonight, it's seven Moses. Listen. This draft we have
Speaker 1: is fantastic, all right, from starts finished. It's got the
Speaker 1: hits in it. You just need to come out. It's
Speaker 1: probably two to three minutes tops. Okay, all right, did
Speaker 1: you did you already go through it? No? I trust
Speaker 1: I trust you Vic. Yeah, so Mo, if that's it,
Speaker 1: then I'll just I'll step out for the day. But
Speaker 1: if there's unlesten you know, if you want any edits
Speaker 1: or anything, this is kind of your last chance to
Speaker 1: review it. Sorry, I'm just going over these tablets, you know,
Speaker 1: um anything I think we need altent of these? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and remember, don't mention my involvement with the tablets. Come
Speaker 1: up with another reason where you got them, all right.
Speaker 1: I mean I guess I could say they came from
Speaker 1: God or or something whatever whatever works. Yea, your feel
Speaker 1: like you should you should get credit here, vic, I mean,
Speaker 1: you're just as I'm telling you. You want to just
Speaker 1: take this on your own, all right. And yeah, we
Speaker 1: had fourteen, but we took out four of them, so
Speaker 1: it's tenants even, right, So don't take off your shoes
Speaker 1: on an airplane, isn't in there? No, that one's out.
Speaker 1: That was the focus groups did not like that, really,
Speaker 1: I mean, I thought, I mean, that's it's a pretty
Speaker 1: good one. It's pretty advanced. But yeah, yeah, we pulled
Speaker 1: that one. Um. Another one about don't hug spiders, we
Speaker 1: took that one out. We said, why if people want
Speaker 1: to do that, just let me. Sorry, I didn't realize,
Speaker 1: my man. I didn't mean interrupt. I was just looking
Speaker 1: for some berries and bushes and say, what are you
Speaker 1: guys doing, Baker? We found these Uh found these tablets.
Speaker 1: I went to the top of the mountain and uh.
Speaker 1: And the Lord God, the Lord God gave me these tablets.
Speaker 1: Are you are you kidding me? Oh my, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: are you hugging a spider? Let the spider go? Let
Speaker 1: that spider. Let that spider go. I mean, I know
Speaker 1: that's not on the tablets, but it's still it's not
Speaker 1: a good idea, big I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: we should get that one back in there. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm actually gonna understand him tonight. We actually talked
Speaker 1: the other day over in the ocean, but you know,
Speaker 1: when we were it was dry, it was splitting half. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah I did. And when it was just us, I
Speaker 1: feel like I more than understood him. I feel like
Speaker 1: we had a connection. But everything he's seeing me like
Speaker 1: really resonated, and so I feel like tonight I'm going
Speaker 1: to understand finally his big announcement or whatever. Uh. I
Speaker 1: have private conversations with him all the time. I Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the only way I Huh, that's so weird. I thought, yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: that's so weird. Oh he says that to everybody, except
Speaker 1: you know, I get to have much more conversations. That's
Speaker 1: why I know what he means all the time. So, well,
Speaker 1: that's so weird. Sometimes like we go for walks and walks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we go for walks and just kind of talk. Does
Speaker 1: he do that all the time. I mean usually it's
Speaker 1: you know, the big long walk through the desert. I
Speaker 1: just feel like I'm connected with him, so it's our walk.
Speaker 1: But that's just a lot of other probably a little
Speaker 1: different for me. And we have like nicknames for each other.
Speaker 1: I call him like Vanguard stuff, and yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: little different. Sorry I couldn't help. But over here you
Speaker 1: said Vanguard. Has Moses ever asked you to watch him
Speaker 1: play volleyball? Well? No, I mean I didn't understand what
Speaker 1: the attraction was. Why volleyball? Well, then I thought about it.
Speaker 1: I thought, well, it doesn't really call for any athleticism.
Speaker 1: I think it's just I think it's special for me
Speaker 1: because he only asked me to watch him play volleyball
Speaker 1: at three am, and so it's probably different for me.
Speaker 1: That's probably a little different my last he ends up,
Speaker 1: heads up. I'm sorry. There's there's bad spam going around,
Speaker 1: so just that could be mindful of that, right ship.
Speaker 1: Hey Moses, before I leave, and you're gonna do great tonight.
Speaker 1: Um you're up in like thirty seconds? Are you dating anybody?
Speaker 1: Because I wanted to introduce you to my sister. Um, So,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've got a couple of irons in the fire.
Speaker 1: Oh you ducks branded a few people, you know. I
Speaker 1: know what you mean. I know what you mean. But sure,
Speaker 1: I'm up to anything. Okay, alright, so I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell her your room number great one one? Uh?
Speaker 1: And is this fresh samres this can? Is this can spam?
Speaker 1: Or is it fresh spam? This was just lying outside
Speaker 1: so it's fresh fresh? Okay, great, okay, yeah it's outside,
Speaker 1: so outside it's gonna be caned. Uh and your room
Speaker 1: number one? Al right, now listen, you're gonna be spam girls. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be dressed up like can just spam and
Speaker 1: I want your handing out spam alright now, be really
Speaker 1: really excited about it, okay, because it's all about the
Speaker 1: sail over there. You're giving up free can just spam
Speaker 1: all right. Now, we got this Honda, this handa fit
Speaker 1: that I outfitted with the giant spam cane on the back.
Speaker 1: You're gonna just drive up to the encampment. Give up
Speaker 1: all I want to be the purple spam girl. Okay, great, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna drive the spam car of twelve years of
Speaker 1: NASCAR experience, So you're safe with me. Okay. I was
Speaker 1: under the impression that we'd be able to drive the
Speaker 1: spam car. Why can't I drive it? Because he's a
Speaker 1: NASCAR guy, you kid, it's because he's a man. Now, look,
Speaker 1: she's purple spam. Now you're gonna be green spam, all right.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a green spam, don't you want? Well? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to be a fancy girl and I'm a
Speaker 1: scam girl. Hey, Julia, we're gonna have to let you
Speaker 1: go from the Fantom team. Good luck with your career,
Speaker 1: all right. I don't think you understand I was a
Speaker 1: fancy girl before that, so I have like a lot
Speaker 1: of experience. This is actually a step down for me.
Speaker 1: So I don't think you understand. I'm going to keep
Speaker 1: my job. How did I get fired? My fellow is
Speaker 1: really lights. Help yourself to the Spam and Fanto in
Speaker 1: the back. You're hot, Your Mike's too hot? Can you
Speaker 1: hear me? Can everyone hear me? We can hear you, Moses.
Speaker 1: I can just barely understand. I can hear Spam and
Speaker 1: Phantom mix. Anyway, you all know me. I'm Moses. This
Speaker 1: is Vic. He's trying to keep a low profile, but
Speaker 1: I want to single him out. There's Vic. Don't do
Speaker 1: anything to do this, Nick the brick reminder. We're gonna
Speaker 1: play some desert volleyball tonight. Yeah, so again, it's gonna
Speaker 1: go to four am. You're gonna have a great time.
Speaker 1: Not enough of you are signing up for classes. We
Speaker 1: need you to get We need you to keep taking
Speaker 1: the classes. Okay, I don't have any money. That's fine,
Speaker 1: we'll work something out. Okay. I mean I'm in a
Speaker 1: brand of big m on your thighs. Look, we need
Speaker 1: to press on, and I know that we need to
Speaker 1: cross the Red Sea. It looks daunting. I'm We're gonna
Speaker 1: all get in a Honda Fit and drive straight through
Speaker 1: that thing. Okay, all right, it's just one car, just
Speaker 1: one car. That's a miracle. Okay, he's good. Look it
Speaker 1: sounds like a clown car. I can't understand what he's saying.
Speaker 1: Are you understanding? He's saying that we're all going to
Speaker 1: get in one car. Sound see you ever? People? We
Speaker 1: need to shut the hell up that it's been like
Speaker 1: seventeen years we've been wondering this desert. When does this stop?
Speaker 1: How many years are we supposed to follow? This ridiculous man?
Speaker 1: Did you already start talking? I thought the speech was
Speaker 1: at three. Number eleven, thou shalt not hug spiders? Oh ship?
Speaker 1: What was the ten before that? It doesn't matter. I
Speaker 1: just got the love of what the hell poe with
Speaker 1: the ten before? I'm sure that they get more and
Speaker 1: more important as they go. Number twelve. Airplanes have not
Speaker 1: been invented yet, but when they are, do not take
Speaker 1: off your fucking shoes. And that seemed to oh baby.
Speaker 1: Three councils from Patron V I P. Philip Kevin and
Speaker 1: the gang. You already know how amazing you are, So
Speaker 1: I cut right to the chase. Shy people in an
Speaker 1: adult store? Keep on killing it, Philip, What are you?
Speaker 1: What are you looking for? Are you looking for penises? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not I'm just I'm not even what
Speaker 1: I got. I gotta go. Okay, sir, here just take
Speaker 1: look at me putting Hello, hy, you're looking for penises
Speaker 1: or other body part, uh, paraphernalia. UM yeah, yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: my name is Gerard, and I'm here to help you.
Speaker 1: So Gerard, thanks coming to my office. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Just want to go over your three month review. Um.
Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations on the penis movement. We've not
Speaker 1: moved that many penises. Yeah, thank you. I sometimes feel
Speaker 1: like being direct with customers is exactly what's needed in
Speaker 1: this industry. I used to work at a UM the
Speaker 1: tire shop, it says, yeah, yeah, radio Yeah, solved a
Speaker 1: lot of those all bed huh. Direct with the customer.
Speaker 1: You were where the rubber hit the road. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just that we'd like to sell other things in the
Speaker 1: store rather than just pen uses. And it seems like
Speaker 1: seven percent. We're not like exactly eighty seven percent of
Speaker 1: your sales or penises. Uh. But I thought there's a
Speaker 1: good markup on them, so I thought I was doing
Speaker 1: the business good. Right. But you do see that we
Speaker 1: have hundreds of items in the store, yes, right, and
Speaker 1: some of them are are the margins are quite high
Speaker 1: compared to the penis. You know, we're we deliver the penises.
Speaker 1: I think we pay wholesale at three dollars and we
Speaker 1: sell them for four fifty. So we're not That's not
Speaker 1: a big markup for us, is what I'm saying versus
Speaker 1: the cock ring for example, Well, we're we're paying you know,
Speaker 1: seventy two cents and some Well, I'm sorry to interrupt.
Speaker 1: I I was just on my way to get my
Speaker 1: Cadillac and my Mercedes fixed that I pop into this
Speaker 1: little mom and pop cock shop see how things were doing.
Speaker 1: Perfect example, Hey Jim, thanks for stopping by. We always
Speaker 1: love to have your business. Um, whoa, these are real
Speaker 1: squishy squishy you know, the ones I sell are pretty hard,
Speaker 1: rock hard. I put rocks inside them. People love them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm some My dingdongs were about fifteen dollars pop. Right,
Speaker 1: But what about your ballot wooze? How you doing? I'm
Speaker 1: moving the ballot wooze my ballot wooz. Well, I closed
Speaker 1: down the fish shop a while ago. Just right, fish,
Speaker 1: I gotta sit it seems like a personal conversation. I
Speaker 1: should probably just no, no, you want to sit down? Um,
Speaker 1: excuse me, Um, do you have another size in this?
Speaker 1: I've never been in an aunt Taylor before. That's all
Speaker 1: we got. Okay, Um, never mind, sorry, never mind, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Well, fight me right now? Excuse me, sir?
Speaker 1: Can I help the customer place? Yes? Miss, I'm happy
Speaker 1: to help you. Okay. Pay no attention to Tony. Sorry
Speaker 1: every day he doesn't work here. He's very aggressive. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You want to know something about a size? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I wanted this. If you haven't in a
Speaker 1: smaller size, I don't know if I've never been to
Speaker 1: you about a three and Taylor before? Yeah? Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am a I am about a three? Thank you? Sure? Well,
Speaker 1: let's see. That's a beautiful choice. By the way, look
Speaker 1: at that. That would look lovely on you. Let me
Speaker 1: see if we have a three. In the meantime, have
Speaker 1: you seen the display of penises? No? Well, will while
Speaker 1: I look for this three, give him give him a gander? Okay? Um? Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: I know you don't work here, but you want to
Speaker 1: find me. I don't want to find you. I don't
Speaker 1: want to fight. You punched me. I don't like, can't
Speaker 1: can you question? Can't punch me? Really? Do you mind
Speaker 1: if I do you mind if I punch you? How
Speaker 1: shower you? Huhh? It all like the fucking I think
Speaker 1: I see the problem. You went to an ant Taylor
Speaker 1: t A I l O R. Okay, that's a porn shop. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're in there. You're in the right place now, this
Speaker 1: is an ant Taylor. Thank you thinking, Hey, where are
Speaker 1: your dicks? Okay, we get this all the time you want?
Speaker 1: And Taylor with an E and with an eye? Oh?
Speaker 1: Sorry about that? Where a Taylor, no E and a y.
Speaker 1: I think I should just really unfortunate. I should just
Speaker 1: go back to the Limited too. I should just go back.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. So you're looking for for clothes for larger women.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you think of three is a larger woman,
Speaker 1: then okay, welcome to the Limited two. You can only
Speaker 1: take a dump here for like five ten minutes, all right?
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I thought this was like a store for
Speaker 1: kids clothes, but no, no, this is limited t w O.
Speaker 1: You're in the right place. Just open that door. I'm
Speaker 1: not so I can take a ship anywhere I want. Welcome.
Speaker 1: Yeah cool, Okay, my mom says I don't need to
Speaker 1: get potty trained until I tell her I'm ready. Well
Speaker 1: guess what, I'm nine years old and I ain't saying
Speaker 1: shit about it. We don't care. We just want you
Speaker 1: to pay and then you can shoot anywhere. Oh money, Okay,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. Okay, social security and everything else looks good. Now,
Speaker 1: can you just tell me what you want the loan
Speaker 1: for you? I know it's a business, but I just
Speaker 1: got to write it down. What's it for? Um? It's
Speaker 1: a place where people. Have you ever been in a
Speaker 1: situation where you wanted to go if you wanted to go,
Speaker 1: if you know what I mean? Um, but you didn't
Speaker 1: want to be around your family or friends. Well, we've
Speaker 1: created an environment we can come hang out and go. Okay,
Speaker 1: so what is your business? What are you We're gonna
Speaker 1: set up a bunch of toilets right, individual spaces in
Speaker 1: some places won't even be toilets, just for our younger audiences.
Speaker 1: And then you can come in and just take a dump.
Speaker 1: You pay five dollars to ten dollars and you can
Speaker 1: take it down. But there's a limit on the amount
Speaker 1: of time you can do it. Seven minutes. That's it. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's the loan good And you're looking for hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty Oh, I was not listening A hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: dollars of your company Sharks? What do you think? Okay,
Speaker 1: I think I'm at the wrong show. I think I'm
Speaker 1: definitely at the wrong This is shark shark tank? Is
Speaker 1: U s h E r K shank? Why don't you
Speaker 1: just spell it like the sharks? They are s h
Speaker 1: A r K because I can't do that because that
Speaker 1: show has thinking. Um, hi, is do you work here?
Speaker 1: I'm looking to get a Why are you shy? I'm
Speaker 1: fighting fighting? Excuse me, sir? Can you don't work here? Sir?
Speaker 1: I'll take this, okay, Yes, can I help you? Sir? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a ring that would go put in
Speaker 1: your bott eleventh finger. I didn't know they had those.
Speaker 1: We make all kinds. You tell me where you want
Speaker 1: to ring, and I'll put a ring on it. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess I came in for a for a Uh
Speaker 1: this guys looking for one of those. No, No, he's
Speaker 1: just here for cockering and I guess so a butt ring.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, butt rings those are good. Sensation will be amazing.
Speaker 1: We just had a guy getting married and he proposed
Speaker 1: with a butt ring in public. Well, sir, I mean
Speaker 1: looking at the X ray. I mean, it's clearly there
Speaker 1: is something in your sphincter. It looks like your butt
Speaker 1: ate it um and it's I mean, do you want
Speaker 1: to tell me what it is or do you want
Speaker 1: us to? I don't. I don't know. I mean I'm
Speaker 1: sure that whatever it is, you could probably get out
Speaker 1: there the X ray probably probably you want to come
Speaker 1: in here and don't don't, don't, don't get talk to us.
Speaker 1: He is right here. Oh boy, I mean you're with
Speaker 1: what I'm looking at. You're only going to be able
Speaker 1: to take limited twos for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, don't, dad. We have some amazing news.
Speaker 1: What happened. We're engaged. No, I'm mean that's great, that's great.
Speaker 1: It's up my asshole. I can't but it's beautiful it
Speaker 1: must be. And he saved it in his for like
Speaker 1: seven months. Why you so you were shocked? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: had no idea that he had this ring up his
Speaker 1: own asshole for seven months, no complaining, nothing. He was
Speaker 1: just a soldier the whole time. I was just trying
Speaker 1: to keep it a secret. Really, that's love. Now, will
Speaker 1: you exchange rings. Oh god, I had mine already out. Sorry,
Speaker 1: Why did I let my daughter be the ring bearer
Speaker 1: of the lord? She's five years old? No? No, oh no,
Speaker 1: no no, that's a lot of cheese. Man, you must
Speaker 1: hate a lot of cheese. Where's the rent? Oh? Well, well,
Speaker 1: it looks like you guys doing pretty good sales. The
Speaker 1: guys are coming up, trying to nip me at my heels,
Speaker 1: taking me up the pestle. Let me take someone. It
Speaker 1: ain't gonna happen, all right, it ain't gonna happen because
Speaker 1: Jim's dinghy dongs. They ain't going anywhere, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: top dog. Yeah, but all you sell our dingy dongs,
Speaker 1: So congratulations on cornering that market. Welcome. Did I mention
Speaker 1: I put rocks in them? Keep talking? That's it, that's it. No,
Speaker 1: you didn't mention. Hey yeah, hey, Phil, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: go to the grocery store, we're out of ding dongs, man,
Speaker 1: just grab them on the way. Rocks, no rocks, ding
Speaker 1: dong ding dongs. Just grab them. So you want rocks
Speaker 1: in them or not? Yeah? Rocks and the ding dogs? Okay, okay, yeah? Hi? Hey, uh,
Speaker 1: do you have rocks in the ding dongs. Mm hmmm, huh.
Speaker 1: You want to point me in the right direction? Yeah,
Speaker 1: right over there? Do you see how the sun is setting? Carol?
Speaker 1: Can I talk to you in my office? So sorry, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have Sharon here take over. Carol. Can
Speaker 1: I just talk to you over here for a second. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't chew your gum like that while working, Carol.
Speaker 1: What Carol? It's grotesque, it's upsetting, and we're honestly losing customers.
Speaker 1: You're losing customers because you have a shitty business model.
Speaker 1: That a man. No, I don't we put rocks into anything.
Speaker 1: If you want rocks in it, we'll put rocks in it.
Speaker 1: That's edible, that's consumable model. It really actually we're doing
Speaker 1: really well. Um. It really isn't a shitty model. And
Speaker 1: I and if you feel this way, then maybe you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be working for us. Okay, Okay, I thought that
Speaker 1: sounds good. Everything MutS to go and sell Ooh that's
Speaker 1: why you were in the same outfit four days in
Speaker 1: a row. Listen, I don't want to think about what
Speaker 1: my outfit is. Okay. That's a power move. That's what
Speaker 1: smart people do. I don't want to waste that time
Speaker 1: in my life. So I wear the same thing every day.
Speaker 1: It looks the same, but it's fresh. You know, how
Speaker 1: can your hair is just greased down to your head.
Speaker 1: It's a mask. It's a moisturizing mask. You keep it moisturizing.
Speaker 1: That keeps the health of the hair. Okay, fine, well cool,
Speaker 1: do the same thing every day. What can I get
Speaker 1: you today? Um? I guess I want um. If you
Speaker 1: have the same shirt that I'm wearing right now, yes,
Speaker 1: I'll just take seven. Okay, And what are you with three? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a three about it. Three? If you have it
Speaker 1: and you want those all the same color? Yep, same color? Right?
Speaker 1: And if you also have the same pants I'm wearing
Speaker 1: right now, I'll also take seven of those. Uh, in
Speaker 1: the same beige? Yes, it's in the same beige. Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry I should make by contact with you.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, No, No, it's fine. I'm sure whatever you're
Speaker 1: looking at is more interesting. I grew up without a father,
Speaker 1: and it's like weird for me to talk with men
Speaker 1: of a certain age. And I'm sorry, I understand, I understand. Sorry,
Speaker 1: my eyes are up here I'm not staring at your dick.
Speaker 1: I'm just avoiding your eyes. It's my fault. Let me
Speaker 1: put that away, my fault. Excuse me. I went to
Speaker 1: sandwiches and uh slides and uh hogi's and swings and
Speaker 1: wieners and corn holes, also Ann Taylor and the Limited two,
Speaker 1: and none of them were able to help me. Okay,
Speaker 1: what are you looking for? I just want a filly
Speaker 1: cheese steak. Oh okay, what would you like with that? Uh?
Speaker 1: With and wiz? You got it? What's your name? I'm
Speaker 1: you get a name for the order? What is my name? Sorry?
Speaker 1: I've been wondering for forty years, looking for looking for
Speaker 1: the sandwich? What's your last name? Do you know that
Speaker 1: my last name? My last name is Klana Pin And
Speaker 1: if your last name is Klana Pin two, then maybe
Speaker 1: you're my dad. My last name is Klonopin two. Oh,
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. Yeah, my last name is
Speaker 1: Mine's just Kain. Oh no, no, I'm not your dad's sweetie. Sorry.
Speaker 1: How's how's that cheese day coming? Well? I just put
Speaker 1: the order in, sir, so it's gonna be a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes. Great, because you want to read something around
Speaker 1: town sixty ft away, just staring around corners and opening
Speaker 1: my eyes through boxes, seeing how she was doing through life.
Speaker 1: I couldn't muster up the courage to go and talk
Speaker 1: to her. Homeless guy, you can't can't be here, you
Speaker 1: can't be here on the corner. Man, you're run in
Speaker 1: front of my store. I mean, I'm just walking, man,
Speaker 1: you serious? Yeah, I'm serious. Man. People see you. They
Speaker 1: don't want to come to the store that I'm not selling.
Speaker 1: Anybody want to come in your store. And you got
Speaker 1: a shitty store. It's because it's not a shitty store.
Speaker 1: It's a short store for shitting, okay soever, man, whatever,
Speaker 1: it's like it smells like crap. Alright, look, hey it's
Speaker 1: cleaned that out. You smell like crap. What are you wearing?
Speaker 1: Hula hoop? Yeah? Yeah right, Just don't be in front
Speaker 1: of the store. Stall number four you have two minutes left.
Speaker 1: Stall number five, you have a minute and a half left.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Reminder everyone limited two limited twos. That's so
Speaker 1: show for today. Oh my goodness, and or gracious, we
Speaker 1: am not a high note and high I'm in stacked, uh,
Speaker 1: Joey Gred Just to get you out of the sun.
Speaker 1: I want to thank you very much for joining us
Speaker 1: today and uh, whatever you've done in terms of your
Speaker 1: selection of position within your home to do the show from.
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough. I can't. I am so hot,
Speaker 1: it's it's unbearable, sweat and everything. Yeah, you're getting a
Speaker 1: sunburned eyes. I feel it. I feel it. Uh. And
Speaker 1: where should folks look for you and your wares should
Speaker 1: they want to find you? Away from this particular podcast,
Speaker 1: check out BS Comedy on Twitch. We go on every
Speaker 1: Wednesday at seven or eight. We're trying to go on.
Speaker 1: We're trying to go on for a couple of hours actually,
Speaker 1: so look for us to start a little earlier, to
Speaker 1: go on longer. And Bessie the seven or eight Pacific
Speaker 1: time Mountain Mountain l a time baby, right, Okay, thank
Speaker 1: you for that, Jackie Do Ruthie, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us again. And uh, where shall folks be
Speaker 1: guided to find your creativity and whatnot? So sure you
Speaker 1: know I'm at Jackie do ruthe on Instagram and probably
Speaker 1: only Twitter two and I do create. I do put
Speaker 1: creative things there and I have a Christmas movie podcast,
Speaker 1: The most Wonderful pot of the year, the most wonderful
Speaker 1: part of the year. Check it out lovely for the season.
Speaker 1: Wherever you get your podcast the most wonderful podcast of
Speaker 1: the year, and you guys on that podcast discuss, we
Speaker 1: discuss more obscure Christmas movies and um and we give them.
Speaker 1: We give them ratings out of eight reindeer and it's
Speaker 1: a fun time. And sometimes we have guests and to
Speaker 1: find the obscure one that I told you sure did
Speaker 1: can listen. I'll be reaching out to you, so never
Speaker 1: apologize for Blizzard. Definitely be talking about it alright. Cool
Speaker 1: James Zeeney, you and Bright Black and White, thank you.
Speaker 1: I put Blizzard on my watch list. It is coming
Speaker 1: up very soon for me to just personally watch. Uh.
Speaker 1: Then I also wanted We've got some reviews. I wanted
Speaker 1: to share them all, but there's not that much time. Um.
Speaker 1: So this is the most recent. This one's from Crazy
Speaker 1: White Boy. It says switched phones just to rate. I
Speaker 1: literally dropped my Samsung phone just to buy an iPhone
Speaker 1: so I could leave this rating. Because I love the
Speaker 1: show that much, I hope it's worth something five stars.
Speaker 1: So he can't access iTunes from his Galaxy phone was
Speaker 1: at the issue. I mean, I had a lot of
Speaker 1: problems myself because back when we first started this, I
Speaker 1: wanted to rate the show. When we first started this,
Speaker 1: and I had to like sit in the phone for
Speaker 1: hours with Apple. It is a pain in the ask
Speaker 1: to try to be able to rate something. One second, James,
Speaker 1: I don't want to take you away from this review.
Speaker 1: Joe did you want to go right to the pool
Speaker 1: because it looks like you're tremendousie and your sweatshirt and
Speaker 1: I look good. Dude, that's just it. You don't look
Speaker 1: that good. So anyways, right, James, you were saying, well,
Speaker 1: it was just difficult, But I also wanted to plug
Speaker 1: Bear Supplies doing the live streams on Wednesday nights. But
Speaker 1: I'm putting it up. We're kind of testing the waters.
Speaker 1: I put up the last couple because we've been doing
Speaker 1: it more in a talk show format like a podcast.
Speaker 1: So you can go to SoundCloud to download the podcast
Speaker 1: version at Bear Supply. Uh. And then in addition, this
Speaker 1: week it was kind of funny. I've made sims of
Speaker 1: alve Bear Supply, and I think Joey sim looks probably
Speaker 1: the best that's on our Twitch page for a limited time. Awesome,
Speaker 1: and thank you for not reading all those glorious reviews
Speaker 1: and making time for that last piece of business you know. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean there's a couple other ones can give you.
Speaker 1: There's one called save Gary. You guys are great, but
Speaker 1: Gary is even better. So good five stars. That's from
Speaker 1: incredulous Doctors. They're good reviews. Gary is great, awesome, a tool.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. It's always always pleasure.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Um if people wanted to see
Speaker 1: me my all my social was a tool time a
Speaker 1: t u l the word time and then uh, I'm
Speaker 1: in a narrative podcast right now called Death at Sunset
Speaker 1: and you can find that on Spotify or iTunes or
Speaker 1: the Apple Store or whatever you want to call it. Awesome,
Speaker 1: Death at Sunset, Sunset cool, Greig Atkowski, Thank you's always there.
Speaker 1: How's Craigslist coming along? We're we're we've worked our way
Speaker 1: past the month of October and all the Halloween adjacent
Speaker 1: and or films, well, that means it's time for Thanksgiving movies.
Speaker 1: Don't really, we are doing it, and you know this
Speaker 1: because we already talked about it. But but you're great
Speaker 1: with a lead in You're perfect with a set up.
Speaker 1: The man knows what he's doing. Uh yeah. We put
Speaker 1: out a special Thanksgiving episode. We talked about playing trains, automobiles,
Speaker 1: hoping for the holidays, and Creasha that Thanksgiving classic that
Speaker 1: everybody knows perfect wherever you get podcasts, check that out, folks.
Speaker 1: Um we are recording the day after Thanksgiving, so Doug
Speaker 1: Bam got the day off. So James Heeney was our engineer. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you. I love being called that, but I feel
Speaker 1: like I've just hit record. He's still going to be
Speaker 1: doing the hard work of it. He certainly is. And
Speaker 1: we should thank Doug Baine for the posts production work
Speaker 1: on the show and all the fine folks that I
Speaker 1: heart media. Thanks for thanks for the home and the
Speaker 1: auspice is. I'm Kevin Pollock, your host or Monty You
Speaker 1: to please be kind to each other and we will
Speaker 1: get through this, and thank you for joining us. We
Speaker 1: greatly appreciate all of your feedback, so continue to write
Speaker 1: to us your name here, lock me this dot com
Speaker 1: and to all the patrons subscribers, obviously, thank you very
Speaker 1: damn hell much. Until next time, remember and if