Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode about Do This Couple Edition.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin. What's that? Well?
Speaker 1: Almost every time Joey is hanging out outside your home,
Speaker 1: he means you no harm. Almost, But I digress. Let's
Speaker 1: meet our Rockamens Shallery. No particular orders. Say hey to
Speaker 1: James Heeney, jingle bells, Jimmy. Any memories from something that
Speaker 1: happened on Christmas Morning from your childhood? Oh god, I
Speaker 1: feel like something that happened on Christmas Morning? Well, I
Speaker 1: think I told the Nintendo story Christmas Morning. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're here for you, is what I'm saying. What happened?
Speaker 1: What happened? I mean I could tell the Nintendo story again.
Speaker 1: My parents surprised me with a Nintendo. That was a
Speaker 1: pretty big deal. Um Christmas morning. Huh your parents surprised, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they Well, I believed in I guess. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: I was probably six, maybe five when I found out
Speaker 1: Santa wasn't real. Um, really young it was. But my
Speaker 1: sister found out first, and she was two years older.
Speaker 1: And we found out because somebody popped the trunk and
Speaker 1: there was a bunch of presents in the trunk and
Speaker 1: we're like, why can't we have these presents? And it
Speaker 1: was awful and your parents your parents caved, I guess,
Speaker 1: so I mean they it's not my business. Please welcome
Speaker 1: Jacket Dorothy, Lady d What was your favorite childhood Christmas gift?
Speaker 1: And why gift? And why? Uh? I don't know if
Speaker 1: this is accurate, but this is what's coming to mind.
Speaker 1: A doodle bear. It was a teddy bear that you
Speaker 1: could drawn and jean fabric. Because I had asked for
Speaker 1: it one or two years before and didn't get it,
Speaker 1: but it stayed on my mind and I never asked
Speaker 1: for it again. But then that either the next year
Speaker 1: or two years later, I received it and I was
Speaker 1: so happy. That's amazing. Actually, I'm glad I asked the
Speaker 1: new answered, because it's nice to know if if you
Speaker 1: don't give your child a gift when they asked for it,
Speaker 1: a year possibly too later, still works even more so
Speaker 1: you wait a year and that kids like, yeah, thanks
Speaker 1: thanks for breaking a nail. We really wanted it last year.
Speaker 1: But I don't care about this anymore, right, but you did? Also?
Speaker 1: Did you say bear made of denim material? Yeah? Or
Speaker 1: it looked like it that's what it looks like. It
Speaker 1: looked like it was denim. And then it came with
Speaker 1: pens that you could you could doodle on. It wasn't
Speaker 1: enough that you your bear was made of jeans. You
Speaker 1: could also draw on it. That's the it's a doodle bear.
Speaker 1: You got a doodle on it. That's soome. And now
Speaker 1: back for more. It's Gary Anthony. Will you yeah a
Speaker 1: w How did you discover your parents had been less
Speaker 1: than forthcoming about Santa? It was Mr Emmett. Uh, my
Speaker 1: sister Mary who was always breaking bad news to me.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's the one who made little Frank E
Speaker 1: the June Bug. Let's let's remember that. God. Um my
Speaker 1: sister Mary. One day I was talking about Santa and
Speaker 1: she goes, well, Mr Emmon will be here in the morning.
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean she liked you?
Speaker 1: Ain't noticed that every Christmas morning Mr Emmett come in
Speaker 1: that white pickup truck. So Mr Emmett used to hold
Speaker 1: all our presents for us, and then Mr Emmett would
Speaker 1: come early in the morning and help my daddy get
Speaker 1: them presents together. And then he wouldn't be gone yet.
Speaker 1: He'd be like drinking comfortable with my dad. So Mr
Speaker 1: Emmett and Mary? Sure? And how old was Mary at
Speaker 1: the time? Uh? I was older when I realized it
Speaker 1: wasn't Santa. So Mary was probably seven? A no, No,
Speaker 1: I was probably about eight. Yeah, all right, I have
Speaker 1: thanks for letting me, Thanks for let me talk about this.
Speaker 1: I have a tire in my records. You you were
Speaker 1: a but why did you ask me? Can we please
Speaker 1: move on? Hey, there's a total thing. The total time
Speaker 1: is the right time. What was a typical Christmas morning?
Speaker 1: Like in your child? We actually we grew up with
Speaker 1: a tree. Um, we have this like my my dad
Speaker 1: came for too for higher educations of the States, and
Speaker 1: his neighbors took him in and they became like our
Speaker 1: adoptive family. So my folks learned all the Christmas and
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving traditions from them. So yeah, we had a tree
Speaker 1: growing up. Um. And I don't think we ever went
Speaker 1: through the Santa stuff. But yeah, those who may not
Speaker 1: know your pops came to the States from from India.
Speaker 1: Ah what city from? He grew up in Bombay? Remember
Speaker 1: the street address? Uh? Yeah, it's Duty Crossroad. You know
Speaker 1: if you're buy King Circle, you know the gym Conna.
Speaker 1: You know there's a Rainforce cafe about forty seven miles
Speaker 1: from the forty seven miles from from the corn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and last, Macquyre yourself to sleep tonight if you think
Speaker 1: him least, it's Joey Greer chocolate covered funk nuts. Why
Speaker 1: exactly again, I'll tell you why, And it's it's really simple.
Speaker 1: The idea that the things that we're thinking of aren't
Speaker 1: complete is only attributed to the fact that what we're
Speaker 1: thinking of isn't that the whole idea. Now we go
Speaker 1: back to the initial question and we start asking who
Speaker 1: said it, we're able to infer that what they're actually
Speaker 1: asking isn't the question itself, it's the idea of the
Speaker 1: thought that they're trying to implant in the individual who's
Speaker 1: thinking of that question. Let's do a damn show. All
Speaker 1: of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener emails
Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I p s to come
Speaker 1: a patron supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content,
Speaker 1: oh like, say, video of what we're doing right now. Yep,
Speaker 1: I'm recording. Just head on over to patreon dot com.
Speaker 1: Slash Alchemy is if you like to submit a scene
Speaker 1: suggestion via email. Please write to the podcast at your
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name here,
Speaker 1: I've seen one. In fact, comes from listener Catherine, who wrote, Hello,
Speaker 1: I just left my first ever review of a podcast
Speaker 1: at iTunes. She doesn't say whether it was for ours
Speaker 1: ours or not. Thanks for helping me get through the pandemic.
Speaker 1: Studies show that laughing out loud every day makes your
Speaker 1: immune system stronger. Man, I hope that's true. I just
Speaker 1: made that up. Funck Man, I just made that up.
Speaker 1: But it sounds good, so I'm sure it's true. My
Speaker 1: scene suggestion is a new nastronaut at nostronaut Sure NASA.
Speaker 1: A new astronaut arrives at the International Space Station for
Speaker 1: a six month shift. Thanks for all the laughs, Catherine
Speaker 1: Wasser or Wiser from TUCS in Arizona or two sons,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be touching down with the International Space
Speaker 1: Did you should fight A four three two before? I?
Speaker 1: Before I cut down computer computer here, I have something
Speaker 1: to tell you. Can you can you to speak with me?
Speaker 1: I feel like for the past a few days, hours,
Speaker 1: I don't know, time has really gotten really loopy. Ever
Speaker 1: since I got frozen, but ever since I came back
Speaker 1: to life, I feel like we have a really strong bond. Earlier,
Speaker 1: you're falling in love with me. I will not advise
Speaker 1: that I have been doing women all the way universe.
Speaker 1: You can doing women all over the universe. I have
Speaker 1: some stuff on me that you do not what on
Speaker 1: you their. I feel so torn because my love for
Speaker 1: you is just so strong that I want to ignore
Speaker 1: every red flag and everything that you just said and
Speaker 1: just find a way. I don't know. They're just circling
Speaker 1: the station. I thought they were gonna I thought they
Speaker 1: were gonna dock. What do you mean they're just circling. Well,
Speaker 1: they came in and they were just about to lock,
Speaker 1: and then it passed forwards. She seems to be talking
Speaker 1: to herself. Are you able to communicate with her the whole?
Speaker 1: I don't know why. She seems to be using the
Speaker 1: speaker system for something else. Maybe she singles along. I
Speaker 1: think it's possible. She has said before. I'll say it again,
Speaker 1: we gotta nuke this thing out of the sky. All right, sergeant,
Speaker 1: We're not nuking anything. We got everything that's not a
Speaker 1: military issue. Stand out. I usually don't agree with them,
Speaker 1: but I have show that fall communication. Do we have earth?
Speaker 1: If you would like to make quick and meaningful now
Speaker 1: is that time to do it? And then you'll come
Speaker 1: into the space station with me. Yeah, yes, I will
Speaker 1: allow you to bran bant me on one of the
Speaker 1: other pocket device. Oh my gosh. Great. Then let's do
Speaker 1: it fast and hard, baby, fast and hard. Oh that
Speaker 1: was good for me? Great? Um, doctor. One of the
Speaker 1: cameras inside the space shuttle is a sending us some
Speaker 1: very graphic signals back. I. I don't know if we
Speaker 1: should have this online, if we should string and cough
Speaker 1: for me? Now, okay, your physical is fine, Um, but hey, listener, natural, No,
Speaker 1: I have to hold on for the while. Natural sounds
Speaker 1: of people having a good time is is what we need.
Speaker 1: That's what makes people. Uh. Their immune system goes up
Speaker 1: when they hear the sounds of love doctor, doctor. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Um. When the patient just coughed, I went
Speaker 1: ahead and took a couple of notes. Uh, And I
Speaker 1: realized at this point, may I whispering your ear? Doctor?
Speaker 1: Of course he has something that I like to call
Speaker 1: chocolate covered fuck nuts, and I'm very concerned about him.
Speaker 1: That wasn't a whisper. I heard that. I heard what
Speaker 1: this is. You're not gonna understand this? Okay, well what
Speaker 1: is it is that? Okay? Am I gonna be all right?
Speaker 1: You're fine? Hey, all right, don't move, sir. I'm holding
Speaker 1: your nuts, so okay, um chocolate favorite nut. Let's uh, yes,
Speaker 1: may I whisper in your ear again? Of course, chocolate
Speaker 1: covered nuts. Sorry about that, it's not favor covered sir.
Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing here. I'm a doctor. All right,
Speaker 1: we're both doctors. So just calm down, all I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take a picture for the record. Here we gorphone lovely.
Speaker 1: Ok all right, you're good to go. We're You're all healthy.
Speaker 1: You're good, all right? Command you. Yes. I have to
Speaker 1: admit something. When I told you that I made love
Speaker 1: with women universe, it was merely a way that I
Speaker 1: had to advise to get into your pants. This was
Speaker 1: the first time I have ever really made love and
Speaker 1: it was amused. I mean again, I'm torn. I just
Speaker 1: feel so upset that you lied that. At the same
Speaker 1: time fel full of love and like honor that I
Speaker 1: got to take your virginity. I have done that a
Speaker 1: few times. Um. It is something that I hold as
Speaker 1: a badge of honor. A few badges. Actually, if anyone
Speaker 1: ever breaks your heart I used to wait or to
Speaker 1: God in heaven, I will kill them. I will electrocute them,
Speaker 1: or use another computer in viruses and destroy them. Oh God,
Speaker 1: I'm so hot right now, Private, Private, listen to me
Speaker 1: right now. All right, there's a mutiny happening on board,
Speaker 1: and these goddamn astronauts think that they can tell us
Speaker 1: what to do. Now listen, I'm giving you the other key,
Speaker 1: all right, I was supposed to do with this heart.
Speaker 1: I was just about to tell you. I was just
Speaker 1: about to tell you. Okay, when you take this key, okay,
Speaker 1: would you look at people? You can actually giving me
Speaker 1: the only other key? I need you to look patient around.
Speaker 1: Just calm down, do tho. I need to use the key.
Speaker 1: We're gonna open up the little box to press the
Speaker 1: button to send that new don't you stop that? Put
Speaker 1: put that down, Put that base down, Put the base down. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: how don't you suppos like chocolate? Like chocolate? Let me
Speaker 1: see your nuts, Jesus Christ, Oh my god, damn it,
Speaker 1: oh my god, chocolate covered funk nuts. Doctor. Yes, I
Speaker 1: have been doing my own research, and I know you
Speaker 1: told me it's not smart for me to get on
Speaker 1: the computer. I have found out that fifty eight percent
Speaker 1: of the American astronauts and people working for NASA are
Speaker 1: infected with chocolate covered nuts. Wow, you've out done yourself
Speaker 1: this research. No one's seen this correlation. We have to
Speaker 1: take this up to the to the surgeon, the Surgeon
Speaker 1: General of NESTA m H. I said, lobster not steak,
Speaker 1: God damn it on the sergein general and shut up
Speaker 1: a bit. Sorry. Yeah, you should be sorry. God damn,
Speaker 1: I said, I'm sorry about that. Well, you should be sorry, don't.
Speaker 1: You're just sorry? You should be sorry. I'm what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get, get the point acting the point across
Speaker 1: who is not only should I be sorry, but I'm
Speaker 1: actually following through with that should and I am actively
Speaker 1: being sorry about it. I feel like these are hallow words.
Speaker 1: That's That's where I'm coming from. You don't see I
Speaker 1: don't see an act of sorryness. I have embroidered on
Speaker 1: a pillow that I am sorry about that. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: you understand that you did that before this encounter, so
Speaker 1: obviously you you just have these pillows. That's my point.
Speaker 1: If you start embroidering one. Now, I know you're sorry
Speaker 1: that that's what I'm trying to say. You have busted?
Speaker 1: Should you have busted? Sergeant Lewis? Is a space station?
Speaker 1: Sergeant Lewis, can you read hello? Commander Lewis, this is
Speaker 1: the space station? Can you hear it? Yes? Yes, terrific?
Speaker 1: Sorry I was sorry, Yes, I can hear you. Yes?
Speaker 1: Is everything okay? On board? Everything is actually really good.
Speaker 1: It's actually more than okay. Um. I'm actually getting ready
Speaker 1: to to doc and to land. I will be entering
Speaker 1: the space station. Don't worry. I was just having like
Speaker 1: a little me time, like the little sing along whatever.
Speaker 1: It was just kind of like me by myself. I
Speaker 1: wasn't doing anything except for singing to myself. So is
Speaker 1: this some sort of joke? Chocolate fuck nuts? It's a
Speaker 1: super awesome time. It's it's a new Christmas, so it's
Speaker 1: not it's just me. It's just I've been singing to myself.
Speaker 1: And one, Oh my, I believe we have created a
Speaker 1: new holiday treat. See two comes from from our newest
Speaker 1: patron v I P Supporter to be, who wrote, Hey, Alchemists,
Speaker 1: I come before you were ashamed to admit that I've
Speaker 1: been enjoying your work without providing any meaningful support since
Speaker 1: the very beginning. Fortunately, I've repented of my ways and
Speaker 1: just hopped on the Patreon bus, hoping to join the
Speaker 1: Alchemaniac ranks once I get through the slow season of
Speaker 1: my business. Anyway, I wanted to provide a scene suggestion.
Speaker 1: It's a likely possibility that it's terrible, but I guarantee
Speaker 1: you've made worse lumps of coal and de precious diamonds
Speaker 1: over the years. Seen thirteen year old having a midlife crisis.
Speaker 1: You guys are awesome. Since I'm self employed, I can
Speaker 1: literally listen to the podcast all day long without getting
Speaker 1: in trouble. So I'm on my third time through the queue.
Speaker 1: Hope you guys live long moer than me so I
Speaker 1: can listen to new episodes for the rest of my la.
Speaker 1: Thank you for that, Toby, Thank you, Thank you. Toby
Speaker 1: McCarty a k a. Toby mac not the country singer, Wow,
Speaker 1: so much to impact. Something's not right with that kid.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know, honey. He's our oldest but well,
Speaker 1: it's his birthday. It's his birthday. Okay, he's you know
Speaker 1: how it is, and your birthday you get all gloom
Speaker 1: and gloomy. Folks, folks. I hate to interrupt you, sorry,
Speaker 1: I just wanted you to know I've tried everything within
Speaker 1: my clown capabilities. The rest of the kids that your
Speaker 1: son's birthday party seemed thoroughly entertained, but your boy not
Speaker 1: so much. Do you mind? I know this is if
Speaker 1: you're the artist, but could you both smile on instead
Speaker 1: of having the painted brown face A lot of the
Speaker 1: clowns that we usually I don't know, can't change in
Speaker 1: the middle. No, no, no, that's terrific. It's terrific. I
Speaker 1: it you were kind of know to call me an
Speaker 1: artist and then go ahead and offer up some censorship
Speaker 1: and some critiques and some notes which are not appreciated.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna put I'll take off these big shoes
Speaker 1: and head out to the car. You can't take you
Speaker 1: take those shoes off and the kids see you, they'll
Speaker 1: freak out. All right, Yeah, don't take off this stuff.
Speaker 1: We're paying you for the hour. Finish the hour, sir, dad, Tap,
Speaker 1: when is the rainstorm going to happen? We didn't have
Speaker 1: my birthday at a Rainforest Cafe not to enjoy the
Speaker 1: full thunderstorm. No, Daddy's going to have a rainstorm right
Speaker 1: in the front lawn. Okay, you just have to be patient.
Speaker 1: I know for a fact that this restaurant makes a
Speaker 1: huge freaking deal every twenty minutes. I know it. Do
Speaker 1: not tell me that you're gonna give me a jankie
Speaker 1: one in the front yard. I'm sick your homemade ship. Dad.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's just me. I'm going through
Speaker 1: something right now. She's just he's just joking everybody. Gail Bruce, Hey,
Speaker 1: how you doing. What's up there? Tiger? Hey, you said
Speaker 1: it was an open bar, and uh, I went to
Speaker 1: the bar dinner. I total it was part of the
Speaker 1: party and they said I had to I had to pay,
Speaker 1: So I don't know what the deal with that. Well,
Speaker 1: it was only open bar for two hours and then
Speaker 1: it was supposed to be after that on the invitation.
Speaker 1: We can't have open bar all night long. And plus
Speaker 1: we would really like people to stop drinking before it
Speaker 1: becomes a problem. You know, are you Jenny's date? Who
Speaker 1: are you? Yeah? Jenny d Yeah, okay, yeah weird, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're the teacher, right yeah, yeah, I teach martial arts.
Speaker 1: So huh like tibo? No, not like tabo. You ever
Speaker 1: heard of m m A, you've heard of the UFCUM.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry no, um, but you really have need they
Speaker 1: get inside if it's like a it's like a square
Speaker 1: with four extra sides to it, it's an octagon's four
Speaker 1: yes yes, a stop sign and they get inside and
Speaker 1: they fight to the death. I want to fight and
Speaker 1: to stop sign. Oh my god, I could. I could
Speaker 1: definitely track you up dead. How hard would it be
Speaker 1: for you to set up one of those fights here?
Speaker 1: I mean I could put something up in this Rainforce cafe,
Speaker 1: no problem. That's like honestly, if I just get the
Speaker 1: chairs together and just like get the tables around, I
Speaker 1: mean we can get some great the animatronic gorilla in
Speaker 1: a stop sign on yo, Mr Karati Man, Yeah, keep
Speaker 1: working on the bag. Yeah yeah, dig dig it, dig it,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna trying to bag working in bad Check this out, man,
Speaker 1: check this all right. I know I know that that
Speaker 1: you're good at karate. This is something that I know, right,
Speaker 1: That's all I had to say. I love that. I
Speaker 1: love that. Um. I just want to be right up
Speaker 1: front with you, Uh, Kevin, I'm not gonna be able
Speaker 1: to pay rent this month, all right. Uh so I
Speaker 1: just want you to know up front that I'm doing
Speaker 1: ether that can to get those funds together, you know,
Speaker 1: to keep the space. But uh, you know, if you
Speaker 1: want to do free training or even better yet, I
Speaker 1: got a kid that I'm training right now to fight
Speaker 1: an animatronic. If you want to place a bet and
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, you have a human child gonna
Speaker 1: fight an animal tronic. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not a Disney
Speaker 1: level so you know it's not gonna be that violent,
Speaker 1: but it's naturally. Tell me how I've been afit from
Speaker 1: this MESSI crod, you play some bed, you place some bet, Kevil,
Speaker 1: you play the bed on the animatronic. All right, it's
Speaker 1: gonna tear that kid up. It's gonna tear that kid up,
Speaker 1: all right, And I guess what you walk out with?
Speaker 1: Two three, four dollars maybe more right. I don't know
Speaker 1: how much the bets are gonna be, but you know
Speaker 1: we can. We can pump this up, because you know,
Speaker 1: I'm willing to bet everything out home, half of what
Speaker 1: my ex wife owns and three quarters of what my
Speaker 1: children will inherit on this animatronic. Don't let me down,
Speaker 1: of course, of course I know I would never ever
Speaker 1: ever do that. Thank thank you, thank you for the extension,
Speaker 1: and I really appreciate this. All right. I am ready
Speaker 1: to fight. I am good to go. Let me at him.
Speaker 1: I come down wayvely. Just show me a right hook, man.
Speaker 1: That's not quite the stuff we work done in the
Speaker 1: training pirate man, Yeah, what is it? I just mr
Speaker 1: um much time with the robot here. I just want
Speaker 1: to say really good bye the hell fans from all
Speaker 1: over the damn world. I give me that short to
Speaker 1: me christ all right, mystical riding man. Yeah, okay, keep
Speaker 1: it in that bag for me. I'm I'm a little confused.
Speaker 1: You promised me that you was gonna be training this teenager. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just peeked with my eyes into the wonder and
Speaker 1: there's a hucking pirate in there training and my hocking
Speaker 1: bear to fight somebody. Do you care to explain yourself, keV,
Speaker 1: I would love to. I'd love to break that down.
Speaker 1: You know, times are tight, uh, and I've been air
Speaker 1: being being in the space. I'm gonna be honest. I
Speaker 1: know you told me I wasn't not to do that,
Speaker 1: but I've been sub letting a part of my space
Speaker 1: in order to supplement the income that I need to
Speaker 1: pay rent. And yeah, okay, a little bit of my
Speaker 1: trains rubbed off. The pirate MANA has been bringing different
Speaker 1: animals in and training them, and it looks like the
Speaker 1: bears taking a liking to what he's gotta got to offer.
Speaker 1: And I don't. I don't know if you want to
Speaker 1: get if I could be straight with your boil. You're
Speaker 1: such a bad fighter at this point, people think you're
Speaker 1: a bear. You follow me. Oh no, that's disappointing. It
Speaker 1: must be for a realpee. Let me see the jab
Speaker 1: one more time with yours ted. This is insane. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm working two shifts, all right. I gotta pick up
Speaker 1: all the extra tables because you let Claire off because
Speaker 1: you said we were going to get slammed. Apparently there
Speaker 1: was a birthday party that was booked that you didn't
Speaker 1: know about and I had to take on. And now
Speaker 1: they're going to be having an octagon fight in the
Speaker 1: middle of the goddamn restaurant. That's even though half of
Speaker 1: my section that would be tipping. Okay, you tell me
Speaker 1: what the hell I'm supposed to do alright, this this
Speaker 1: is nuts, all right. I mean, I I have I
Speaker 1: can work at any major chain I have. I was
Speaker 1: at Johnny Rockets. Okay, I was at Red Robin for days.
Speaker 1: And now here are what you're saying. I hear what
Speaker 1: you're saying. Now, what you're worried about is you're not
Speaker 1: getting take You're fucking me, Ted, You're sucking me right now,
Speaker 1: I'm not sucking you. Don't say that out loud. When
Speaker 1: when somebody passes by it, here's you saying that they're
Speaker 1: gonna think one thing. And it's not that. I'm not
Speaker 1: not gonna think that, Ted, They're not gonna think you're
Speaker 1: actually sucking me When I say you, are you fucking him? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not. There's nothing nothing in between us. I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I was just passing by. See. Now here's the thing
Speaker 1: we're gonna be having. Uh oh well change. Nobody really
Speaker 1: likes the rainforest. They're getting destroyed all over the world.
Speaker 1: This rainforest cafe, what rusty nails drink the drink? Are
Speaker 1: you telling me there's a militia against rainforest cafe. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying that we gotta be honest. Rainforests are going
Speaker 1: to be around forever. But if we can get an
Speaker 1: m am fighting tournament here. Hey, Tim, thanks for stopping by. Listen.
Speaker 1: It's not easy part of my job to have to
Speaker 1: say what I'm about to say, but here goes. Uh.
Speaker 1: We just feel here at Johnny Rockets you're not the
Speaker 1: type of employee that we need and I wish you
Speaker 1: better days and a few you whatever that might be.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, I'm good in my name change
Speaker 1: with Johnny Rocket. You told me to do that. I'm
Speaker 1: legally onto the process right now. What do you mean? Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: that's the kind of commitment we could have used a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. Uh, talk to tell me that
Speaker 1: now on the way out, as the door is literally
Speaker 1: hitting you in the ass, it's just not good time.
Speaker 1: We got another birthday, so we gotta go out and sing,
Speaker 1: so everybody come on all right, Hey, Steve, can you
Speaker 1: get me arrusted now while you're out there and we'll
Speaker 1: be right up. Tim, would you come into my office?
Speaker 1: I need to talk to you. Yeah. Sure, We just
Speaker 1: want to like here at t g I for forever.
Speaker 1: You're not the kind of employee that we are What
Speaker 1: do you mean I just legally changed my name to
Speaker 1: just for a Friday. Yeah, yeah, don't let the door
Speaker 1: hit you on the way. Hey, Tim, listen, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to fire you here at Round Robin. We are
Speaker 1: just not into what you're bringing. That's right here at
Speaker 1: Round raw Been. We are just not what intro into
Speaker 1: what you're bringing. That's right here it Round Robin. If
Speaker 1: any of my god, damn, you know what, You're all fired?
Speaker 1: All right, We're really glad to have you here, is it,
Speaker 1: Johnny Rocket? Is it? It's just it's just so many
Speaker 1: names that you used to be known by on the
Speaker 1: on the well. Nonetheless, this old country buffet is gonna
Speaker 1: be great for you. You don't have to really do anything.
Speaker 1: Just pick up the plates, try not to talk to
Speaker 1: anybody at the tables. You'll be great here. I know it,
Speaker 1: I know it. Mr Mrs Stevens, thanks for coming in.
Speaker 1: Um I have the results back from my four sessions
Speaker 1: with your daughter, and I'm just gonna give it to
Speaker 1: you straight. Please please don't don't pull any punches. UM
Speaker 1: Me and my wife, we're both we're both were ready
Speaker 1: for this. I'm an honest, uh professional frankly first starters
Speaker 1: that tie, sir does not go with that pocket square.
Speaker 1: But in regards to your daughter, does that man need
Speaker 1: to be here during this meeting? That's the receptions? Okay,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, job security here is not taken lightly. You're
Speaker 1: thirteen year olds going through him in life crisis and yep,
Speaker 1: uh to be more, to be more plain english, she'll
Speaker 1: be dead at It's like Benjamin Bunnon but the other way,
Speaker 1: but it advanced. Uh. Never been a fan of of
Speaker 1: that movie, So I don't know. Doctors don't like that
Speaker 1: movie to no because it flies in the face of
Speaker 1: actual science. Um can I can? I supposed to be
Speaker 1: m m a fighting this weekend? Do you think we
Speaker 1: should pull her? Or is there just the The medium
Speaker 1: that I spoke to about your her situation insisted the
Speaker 1: reason that she will be dead at six is because
Speaker 1: of this m am a nonsense. So she's gonna lose
Speaker 1: Wait a second, you want to go see a therapist.
Speaker 1: You didn't watch a movie because it wasn't science based
Speaker 1: and then relies on a fucking medium? Are you telling
Speaker 1: me this? Why don't talk to you? You're way too
Speaker 1: old to be my friend. Look, you man who else,
Speaker 1: is you gonna buy you cigarettes and beer? Right? Come on?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, damn right, you don't know. Come on, like,
Speaker 1: look that helpful for me. I got pulled over the
Speaker 1: other day. I was writing my mini cheap, my little
Speaker 1: mini tiny cheep. You're too old to write that. You're
Speaker 1: thirteen years old. That's in Sansford toddlers. It's just like,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna still fit. My ass and my legs
Speaker 1: hang over the side of ptice this time. You can
Speaker 1: stand it. You can't stand in front of this stuff
Speaker 1: and show you have to go. Oh, I can't hell
Speaker 1: out of here. Tell me I see a stop sign
Speaker 1: and I know I want to fight, So let's just fight.
Speaker 1: Get out of your you you okay? Hold on, wait,
Speaker 1: start hold on right? Sometimes it comes with me. Oh no, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome to the rain Forest Cafe. We gotta hell. I'm
Speaker 1: a fight tonight. Thirteen year old don't even know his
Speaker 1: name versing one of the most well trained animatronics in
Speaker 1: the land. Hey, little boy about to come up and
Speaker 1: come on? Introduced yourself to everybody here. Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: I'm Joey Greer. I'm about to kick some mass before
Speaker 1: I die. Joey Greer. I know you're thirteen years old
Speaker 1: and according to your doctor who said, according to the beating,
Speaker 1: you have to twenty six before you die. So do
Speaker 1: you feel like right now is the time that you
Speaker 1: gotta die? Um? I'm halfway there, so I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna win this fight, but I also feel
Speaker 1: like dying because my doctor did not take his oath seriously.
Speaker 1: He's telling everyone about our session and I am pissed.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm gonna die. A little red corner
Speaker 1: we have wing in at um easily nineties six pounds
Speaker 1: Joey grim and then the blue corn so it turns over,
Speaker 1: and then the blue corner we have with the Captain
Speaker 1: heard himself, the animatronic from How the Destroyer Doom, the
Speaker 1: People's Pleaser give it up for the fighter Bear. That's it.
Speaker 1: Freakwar movie by Jenny. Look, I have to go to
Speaker 1: the fight, Okay. The kid I'm training is there. Can
Speaker 1: we just have this discussion later, please? Jenny? Hello, Jenny,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, great, Now you just connect for me
Speaker 1: completely great. Cool. So it's just gonna be me talking
Speaker 1: like this. Are You're just gonna be in the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Door closed, the whole night. Huh when you got my
Speaker 1: car keys? Buddy, please get out of the bathroom. Have
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom. Seriously. Yeah, well I want
Speaker 1: to get out of the bathroom. My lady's in there.
Speaker 1: All right, we're in the middle of a fight. Okay,
Speaker 1: So once you take a ship somewhere else. Well, now, okay,
Speaker 1: if you had just said that from the beginning you
Speaker 1: buried your lead friend, I would have understood. Forgive me.
Speaker 1: Are you really sorry? Yes? Are you? Because I just
Speaker 1: feel like you're just saying sorry. A pillow with it
Speaker 1: embroidered on there? You're gonna bring this into a ship?
Speaker 1: What the hell is this pillow that has seemed to everyone?
Speaker 1: We're gonna end that one on. This is my shipping pillow.
Speaker 1: See three comes from listener Thomas. You guys haven't gotten
Speaker 1: less hilarious at all. I promise My suggestion is hell
Speaker 1: gets interns. Thanks again, Thomas, Reginald sending the next I'm
Speaker 1: sorry say that again, please sending the next possible intern. Yes, sir,
Speaker 1: Mr bielsa uh Frank Thomas T h A U O
Speaker 1: M A s Rich before he comes in. Yes, I
Speaker 1: need a gardening tool. Three letters. Oh, sir, h, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank You're welcome. Frank. Yeah, so I don't know, uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know about you guys, but I'm really excited
Speaker 1: about this internship. You know, hopefully it'll like it lead
Speaker 1: to like a big position and then you know, upward
Speaker 1: advancement within the corporation. So I'm you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: digging in again. Wait, you actually only have spot for one. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: one of us is going to get the internship. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't go so far. Let's just say you're excited. I mean,
Speaker 1: I can say I'm excited. I don't know. You can't
Speaker 1: say that. I can't say that I am excited, all right,
Speaker 1: you don't. You don't. I've been doing an earth before
Speaker 1: I got down here. Yeah's right, you don't know. All right,
Speaker 1: all right, I'd go around and I'd organize all these
Speaker 1: kid fights. Okay, you could just beat the ship out
Speaker 1: of each other, and you know what, I got arrested
Speaker 1: for that. And then when I was in jail, you
Speaker 1: know what I did, I'll organize some some man fights.
Speaker 1: And then when I got out, you know what I did,
Speaker 1: I organized the geriatric fights. So I got all they
Speaker 1: just fighting each other, so people think of me and
Speaker 1: how they're like, oh, that guy. I think I gets
Speaker 1: people to fight each other. Frank Frank Thomas. Looking for
Speaker 1: Frank Thomas. I think he's in the bathroom. Okay, th
Speaker 1: h th h O m A s that one. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: the devil will see you now, Okay, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't you know what. I don't need it. Look
Speaker 1: at these things I think you do. I think you'll
Speaker 1: need it. Good luck. All right, he was in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I thought he was in the bathroom of all time?
Speaker 1: Why did I think that? Holy shi, it is my
Speaker 1: member going, oh my god, oh my devil. I shouldn't say, alright,
Speaker 1: have a seat, thank you, don't mind if I do so,
Speaker 1: I bring down table. Oh sorry you okay, yes, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and speak first and then feel free
Speaker 1: to answer. To be a question, dutally do I'm ready
Speaker 1: to answer, ready to book this job. What was your
Speaker 1: last form of employment? I worked for the I R
Speaker 1: S excellent. How many audits did you conduct? Um financial audits?
Speaker 1: About two point two million, that's in a year. Did
Speaker 1: they call my name? Oh you're Frank Thomas. Yeah, yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: I guess I was. I guess I have I b s.
Speaker 1: Why are you sorr stopped on earth? Go ahead? Why
Speaker 1: are you sorry? At first? I'm just ever tell me
Speaker 1: to go ahead. I'll kick your fucking as. I'm just
Speaker 1: it's just the bathrooms bad. You are still going? Do
Speaker 1: you know that? I can't stop. I figured I had
Speaker 1: to just leave the bathroom. I didn't want to miss
Speaker 1: my big opportunity. Well, someone took your name and went
Speaker 1: in there, which is actually the most devilish it I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. So it's like, I think that guy is
Speaker 1: gonna get the internship. Don't say what. I don't say
Speaker 1: that in front of me. It was the most conny guys.
Speaker 1: Stop him, I said, tell him I'm in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: If if anybody says my name. Yeah, I did say that,
Speaker 1: you're still going? Do you just go back to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I'm not going back to the bathroom. This is just
Speaker 1: who I am in the afterlife. Father, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for seeing me. I know it's you know, you know,
Speaker 1: I know Lance passed maybe two months ago, and yes,
Speaker 1: I just in my heart of hearts, I don't feel
Speaker 1: him in heaven. But do you don't where do you
Speaker 1: feel Lance is now? I feel like lances in isn't hell.
Speaker 1: I feel like he's in hell town. I I've counseled
Speaker 1: a lot of people, you know that. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: to agree with you, my god, horrid, horrid human being. Father,
Speaker 1: There is no way Lance made it to heaven keeping.
Speaker 1: He was sorry, he said, he was sorry on his
Speaker 1: death but doesn't have any weight, and he way with
Speaker 1: it has all the weight in the world. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize he he apologized on his death bed. Yes,
Speaker 1: and he was sorry. He was so sorry. Let me
Speaker 1: get on the phone with the Pope. I'm sure this
Speaker 1: could all be straight. Thank you, father. Hello, this is Papa. Hey,
Speaker 1: it's me. It's father. Ah. Father, So nice to hear
Speaker 1: from you again. Oh, it is wonderful, by the way,
Speaker 1: I saw you on CNN or MSNBC the other day.
Speaker 1: Both you're accepting those women as in the wonderful by
Speaker 1: the way. Well, listen, sometimes you gotta shake things up,
Speaker 1: as you say, you have to break a few eggs
Speaker 1: sometimes if you don't want the shells to say whole. Look,
Speaker 1: there's a guy named Lance who apparently apologized on his
Speaker 1: death bed. And I don't know if if it made
Speaker 1: it to the big guy up top. Um did he apologizer?
Speaker 1: In fact? The two Jesus that that's from his mother.
Speaker 1: That is what I understand. H well said. Listen that
Speaker 1: Jesus here's everyone right there. So you know this, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just saying. The mother has a mother. I
Speaker 1: guess it has a pretty good feeling and you know,
Speaker 1: a mother's intuition that her son is in hell. So
Speaker 1: if you want to take any check in with those
Speaker 1: people up there, wouldn't you getting hurt? Jesus here, Jesus,
Speaker 1: Papa popa my man, I listen, I'm man calling about
Speaker 1: this boy named a Lance Jesus. Uh pop let me uh,
Speaker 1: let me question? Have you if you had rits with
Speaker 1: olive and a piece of cheese on it? Oh, it's
Speaker 1: the ship, uh man. I don't know if the people,
Speaker 1: my man, there's some good stuff. I just had to be.
Speaker 1: I went to and it was I was a little kid,
Speaker 1: a little kid maybe seven eight years old. Beautiful birthday party, clown,
Speaker 1: happy face clown is beautiful. Alright. It's a tougher to
Speaker 1: get the happy face of clown these days. Oh man,
Speaker 1: it's tough, all right. Now, Hey, you shoot you called me. Yes, Uh, listen, man,
Speaker 1: this is this boy apologize. Apparently on is the death
Speaker 1: to bed to you is specific is the name was
Speaker 1: a Lance and apparently is a mama. Who Jesus you
Speaker 1: called me? So if you need me to use my
Speaker 1: medium powers, I will, but you have to get to
Speaker 1: the point. And yes, I've had rits with olives on them. Okay,
Speaker 1: they're good, right, they're good telling me things because okay,
Speaker 1: I just feel like somebody should tell me I have
Speaker 1: those white crackers. Those are okay, But you have rits. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're buttery and they're really good. Wanted me to check
Speaker 1: in with anyone about that in the other life, then
Speaker 1: I could. But honestly, you're going to have to start
Speaker 1: paying me. There you go, Jesus, there's your rich crackers,
Speaker 1: all right? Hey, hey, good job here? Whoa you have
Speaker 1: to pay for that, Jesus, No, No, it's on the house. No, no,
Speaker 1: you have to pay for that. Sorry, Hey, Peter, we
Speaker 1: gotta pay for these? Are you Telllet mean you had
Speaker 1: an argument with Jesus over cracker You said that we
Speaker 1: had to inventory everything and everyone had to pay. It's Jesus,
Speaker 1: the Son of God. Look, I just lost my job.
Speaker 1: I don't even understand. He's also God. Please, it's the Trinity.
Speaker 1: It's the Holy Trinity. He's also the Holy Spirit God. There,
Speaker 1: and you apologize to Jesus and to make up for it,
Speaker 1: put him a hunker cheese and the olive on top
Speaker 1: of it. You won't have this again, yes, sir, Yes, sir,
Speaker 1: thank you. I wanna tell my dad. That's what I
Speaker 1: wanna do. Alright, Jesus, I how are you doing, sir?
Speaker 1: I just want to look for me. I just want
Speaker 1: to apologize. No, I don't you really want to blow Yes? Yes,
Speaker 1: I know you're just not saying that. Man. People said
Speaker 1: that to me all the time. I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: into this house. I just now Jesus as your father, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I I I have a few things to go over,
Speaker 1: one of which is your obsession with the with the
Speaker 1: something called the ritz cracking. Dad. They're good, Dad, it's
Speaker 1: a crack his son. I know, how good could it be?
Speaker 1: That's so good. I would have brought you and and
Speaker 1: and and be specific if you can. What what makes
Speaker 1: the crack of some good? The crackers has got like
Speaker 1: a butter elment to that. All right, it's so good.
Speaker 1: And then they put this cheek. Why not just just
Speaker 1: to spread a little butter on a regular cracker? What, Dad,
Speaker 1: it's better if it's baked in. Why don't talk to you?
Speaker 1: Just listen to me, like love me? Who I am?
Speaker 1: Are you telling me that this this, this, this crack
Speaker 1: it comes from a box? Is that what you'd have
Speaker 1: me believe? Yeah? Nice box comes in a little sleeve.
Speaker 1: And oh man, what colors the box? Would you say
Speaker 1: if you had, if you had to do you understand
Speaker 1: my yea? So my mom never got her answer. It
Speaker 1: was just like a round robin situation. Everyone was throwing
Speaker 1: the question to the next person, and so I just
Speaker 1: went and I murdered them all And that's how I
Speaker 1: got here. Yeah. Look, no one gives it about your
Speaker 1: backstory like here. Fucking hell, literally, fucking hell, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Tom Thomas with an age Frank Thomas, the
Speaker 1: guy who's still going Fran, I just go by Frank usually. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't wait till that guy comes out. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give him a talking to. So I understand you are
Speaker 1: the real Frank Thomas. Yes, what, Oh, it's it's probably Brimstone,
Speaker 1: It's probably I'm gonna sulfur. I can take I smell
Speaker 1: it too, though you're you're not going crazy? I smell it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was getting frank. How soon can you start? Oh?
Speaker 1: I can start right now. Okay, you're gonna bring that
Speaker 1: horrific smell with you right if possible? I mean, go
Speaker 1: get me every ritch Craig. So when is he going
Speaker 1: to see us next? Actually? Oh baby, I booked it.
Speaker 1: That's our show for today. Let's thank all of our
Speaker 1: alchemists and no particular order, welcome back. It's so great
Speaker 1: to see you again. Mr Gary Anthony, thank you, Thank
Speaker 1: you my man um and uh is there anything uh?
Speaker 1: And you'd like to direct folks too in terms of
Speaker 1: your creativity on Instagram at Gary Anthony Williams on Twitter
Speaker 1: at Gary A. Williams and probably February, I have a
Speaker 1: new show coming out on Netflix called The Crew. Damn
Speaker 1: excited about it. Well, thanks again for joining us. Jackie Dorothy,
Speaker 1: thank you as well. Thank you. Appreciate you. Uh A
Speaker 1: dressing up the closet space a little for us today.
Speaker 1: Problem seems like you rearranged a few things and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say you did it, frous I did yes, Thank
Speaker 1: you for that. Thank you for giving me something to do.
Speaker 1: And folks will find you on the socials as well. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm at Jackie ruthy um, and the most wonderful part
Speaker 1: of the year talking about Christmas movies just around Christmas time.
Speaker 1: We do not go all year round, but you can
Speaker 1: listen to whenever you're saying in the month of December, Um,
Speaker 1: we go November December. Whoa, yeah, and then we do
Speaker 1: a little fun christ Is in July just for that month.
Speaker 1: But that you do, that's just really for you know,
Speaker 1: the fraians favorite part of the year, the most wonderful
Speaker 1: part of the year. That's what you said. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: if it's your favorite part of the year, that's correct answer.
Speaker 1: And James Eeney, well, thanks for having me. If anybody's
Speaker 1: interested in cyberpunk, you can watch a play through on
Speaker 1: game Front on YouTube and I'm doing the corporate play
Speaker 1: through of it. So if that doesn't think any sense
Speaker 1: to you, then you probab. We won't joy it anyway.
Speaker 1: You either get it or you don't. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing. A tool Hey, thanks for having me. You
Speaker 1: can follow me on a tool time on most things
Speaker 1: and uh, I don't know what James was talking about,
Speaker 1: but I'm on chess dot com. Now. You can find
Speaker 1: me at a tool time challenge me and I'll play you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna so I should play you. You on chess
Speaker 1: dot com too, Let's go. Joey Gerstein, I am on
Speaker 1: chess dot com. My name is jimp List. You figure
Speaker 1: it out. You can also find me on Instagram at
Speaker 1: God Bless chim Chum. I will give you a personal
Speaker 1: thank you if you follow me. That's how much I
Speaker 1: care about you, and I have a few photographs in
Speaker 1: fact of you thanking people from your Instagram account. You do,
Speaker 1: and I shoved in your face. Thank you. Yeah it
Speaker 1: was I think you did that around two am and
Speaker 1: scared the ship out of everyone in my house. You
Speaker 1: kept calling, the hanging up, calling and hanging out. It
Speaker 1: was from different numbers. That that's your jokester. Let's also
Speaker 1: thank our producer and engineer of the Stars, Mr Doug
Speaker 1: bane by by Baby and the fine folks that I
Speaker 1: heart me. I'm your host, Kevin pol like thanking each
Speaker 1: and every damn one of you who right into the
Speaker 1: show with your thoughts and suggestions for scenes. It is
Speaker 1: greatly appreciated all of our patron supporters as well. We
Speaker 1: love you and um and respect you even more there
Speaker 1: I said it. Uh, please be kind to each other
Speaker 1: and wear a mask when you go outdoors, and damn it,
Speaker 1: line up for that vaccine because Dr Fauci says it's cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah here, let's get it. Until next time.