Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy this covid N.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pop Yes that Kevin. Okay. You
Speaker 1: know what, If you're gonna come at me with logic,
Speaker 1: then I hope you forget that I warned you about
Speaker 1: the chimpanzee who's coming for your soul later tonight, but
Speaker 1: I regret. Let's meet a rocking shower in no particular order.
Speaker 1: Please say good morning to Gary Anthony Williams. It's a
Speaker 1: great morning, KP. A great morning, Georgia. On your mind.
Speaker 1: Any thoughts on how you'll ring in the new year? Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I am. And I do this every year just to
Speaker 1: have a fresh restart. I always go out. I stripped
Speaker 1: my house totally down with some of that home reformist
Speaker 1: home stripping, and I rebria. I repaint everything every year.
Speaker 1: I do this. How long is that? Usually? Take? Like
Speaker 1: a half the year at least? Hey, it's James Heeney,
Speaker 1: Jimmy two times, two times. Tell us about the first
Speaker 1: time you purposely did not attend a class or perhaps
Speaker 1: a full day in high school. Oh boy, it was
Speaker 1: pretty bad. It's embarrassing. I called in for myself as
Speaker 1: my dad. Yeah, and I was like I was an actor,
Speaker 1: and I just I thought it was so. I was
Speaker 1: just senior in high school and that was the first time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, that was easy. And you
Speaker 1: were a senior in high school you called in as
Speaker 1: your dad. What kind of voice did you affect for pops?
Speaker 1: I think I just did it. I tried to do
Speaker 1: it too hard. I just did like, I'm just calling
Speaker 1: because James Heeney sick and he can't come in. Instead
Speaker 1: of saying my son, James, your father said I'm calling
Speaker 1: in for James Geney. I don't really I graduated high school.
Speaker 1: It must have been like five or six years ago.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty young. But it wasn't much more than like
Speaker 1: an hour later that the phone at my house just
Speaker 1: and this is before cell phone, just ringing and ringing
Speaker 1: and ringing and ringing, ringing, and finally I was like, hello,
Speaker 1: my mom and she's like, what are you doing at home?
Speaker 1: It was like, well, you knew I was. I mean,
Speaker 1: you were calling because you knew I was gonna eventually answer.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so nailed. And did you ever do it again? Nope? Oh?
Speaker 1: And you know what I remember, it wasn't when I
Speaker 1: was a senior or a junior. I was a sophomore,
Speaker 1: and I it came back and bit me in the ass. Later,
Speaker 1: I had skipped a dance test in gym class, which
Speaker 1: wasn't why I was skipping, but it ended up that
Speaker 1: after like a year and I never did the test,
Speaker 1: that test turned into an incomplete. So I failed JIM
Speaker 1: my sophomore year. To retake I had to take to
Speaker 1: gym classes my senior year. It was insane because I
Speaker 1: skipped class one time in my whole damn life. I
Speaker 1: want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Um,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why, because I've been praying to
Speaker 1: a god that I know it doesn't exist for about
Speaker 1: fifty years that I would meet someone who failed JIM class.
Speaker 1: And I believe I've stalled just long enough to welcome
Speaker 1: back Mark guys, Thanks for thanks for selling. I just
Speaker 1: walked in the door. It's been a hot minute, it has.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to see all your smiling faces. Are you uh?
Speaker 1: Are you done traversing the world for the program that
Speaker 1: you work on? I am, I'm done. We we wrapped
Speaker 1: about three weeks ago. Uh, completely COVID free. I did
Speaker 1: try traversing the world this morning and cut myself brutally
Speaker 1: at Basquez Rock Switch. If you guys have never been
Speaker 1: there is amazing the start of the big star Trek Rock.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, and you thought you'd leave some of
Speaker 1: your blood there, exactly. Yes, Well, I was trying to
Speaker 1: do a case painting and I ran out of red.
Speaker 1: It's it's still going a little bit, but I care
Speaker 1: and I'm ready to improvise the red the band aid itself.
Speaker 1: You're feeling funny, I'm feeling I'm feeling funny from the
Speaker 1: left from the loss of blood. You're feeling funny, So
Speaker 1: it's time to improvise. Welcome back, good sir, and it's
Speaker 1: great to see your face, so great to see you. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll be damn there, Jackie d Ruthy, Jackie from the block.
Speaker 1: What plans have you for the first week in the
Speaker 1: new year of one? I just have to say thank
Speaker 1: you so much for calling me Jackie from the block. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's just a dream, so wow. So already done my plans,
Speaker 1: my solution. Everything is ready to go first week one,
Speaker 1: hopefully moving into a new apartment. That is my Those
Speaker 1: are my plans, and you know, I guess taking down
Speaker 1: the Chris, that's right. Okay, what time would you like
Speaker 1: Joey to show up to help you move? Joey has
Speaker 1: helped me move before, Yes he has. He has moved
Speaker 1: an entire apartment for me, uh, single handedly, so I
Speaker 1: think he's done his due diligence. I'm gonna have to agree.
Speaker 1: In fact, last but no more cheesy goodness for you
Speaker 1: if you think at least it is time for Joey
Speaker 1: Greer black Heart. What should I wear tonight? That's a
Speaker 1: great question, and I know you're a little more conservative,
Speaker 1: but I think you should slot it up. Can be honest,
Speaker 1: keep going. You deserve it, and I think people in
Speaker 1: your household want it. They want you to be comfortable
Speaker 1: in your own skin, and they want you to show out.
Speaker 1: You know, it is chill, but you know what, I
Speaker 1: think there are there are tasteful ways to be sexy
Speaker 1: and still be warm, and the third named the third
Speaker 1: way to be sexy and warm, Well, I'd love to Actually,
Speaker 1: this is why I wanted everyone here. So I have
Speaker 1: a new line of nylon leggings that that go all
Speaker 1: the way into unitard and they actually cover the head completely.
Speaker 1: Let's do a damn show, shall we? All of our
Speaker 1: scene suggestions are gathered from your listener emails or from
Speaker 1: our Patreon v i P s have become a patren
Speaker 1: support of the show and enjoy exclusive content like a
Speaker 1: recording of what we're doing right now on video. Just
Speaker 1: head on over to patreon dot com slash alchemy there is.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email,
Speaker 1: please write to the podcast at your name here at
Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here. Seen one
Speaker 1: comes from some patroon v I P Toivo Toivo who
Speaker 1: wrote Dear Al and the Chemist. Oh, I see what
Speaker 1: you did? You know? This is your finish fan Toivo here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to to get to political, but congratulations America. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're still trying to beat out that victory, but thank
Speaker 1: you anyway. Here's another silly scene suggestion from my huge
Speaker 1: supply of shameless rip offs. An airline pilot has a
Speaker 1: challenge day at work when the plane he's flying has
Speaker 1: been changed in the last minute to an obsolete and
Speaker 1: creaky old plane because of the company cut backs. All
Speaker 1: the best to you guys Toivo, UH ground is Captain Phillips.
Speaker 1: We're checking uh last minute checks on what I believe
Speaker 1: is the nineteen model in this particular fly. That's right,
Speaker 1: Captain Phillips. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mark. Are you working today?
Speaker 1: Uh no, No, you're right, you're right. I'm no, I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm just I'm just observing. I'm just observing. I'm
Speaker 1: I myself would like the time off. I would like
Speaker 1: time to see my children. So if you're working today,
Speaker 1: I'm already I have to go by Wait wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I was supposed to be observing. This is my first day.
Speaker 1: This is not good. Hey, let me help you do this, buddy.
Speaker 1: First of all, go ahead and take a seat and
Speaker 1: get comfortable. You'll probably find some cheesy potatoes to your left. Hope. So,
Speaker 1: oh she did leave cheesy potatoes. Yeah, that is that's
Speaker 1: very nice. Has come through the checks. Yeah, I'm sorry
Speaker 1: about the mix up with the planes. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's probably my bad. You know it's but you're you're
Speaker 1: gonna be great. You're gonna be great with this. When
Speaker 1: it is model, it looks like there's a there's a
Speaker 1: handbook down here. It's uh, it's got all the most
Speaker 1: of these pages are pretty yellowed. Though. You're probably gonna
Speaker 1: have to do a lot of this on your own.
Speaker 1: Why don't you go ahead and read me the third
Speaker 1: check if you would? Okay, the third check is, oh,
Speaker 1: it looks like there's a big coffee smudge across it.
Speaker 1: The only word I can make out is emergency and
Speaker 1: important are the only two words I can read. Alright, family,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be the Christmas tree. You're not dad,
Speaker 1: all right. I'm married to your mom and it makes
Speaker 1: me the second best thing. Guys. Uh, we're gonna need
Speaker 1: to consolidate some of these suitcases though, because we're not
Speaker 1: paying for you to each hop a check in BAC,
Speaker 1: but my dad, dad is to pay. We never conslid data.
Speaker 1: Call it be nice? I told you, can you be nice?
Speaker 1: I told you it's okay. We're just having a good time.
Speaker 1: It's Christmas time. My dad is so wealthy. But that
Speaker 1: is so wealthy. How wealthy is he? Craving? He's so
Speaker 1: wealthy that he could pay for everyone's luggage in the
Speaker 1: whole world to get on any plane ever wealthy? How
Speaker 1: wealthy is he? My daddy's so wealthy that when he sneezes,
Speaker 1: dollar bills comes out of his button. Nichols fly out
Speaker 1: of each nas a lie. Don't be a liar, Colin.
Speaker 1: I did not raise a liar. Yeah. Sorry. Anyways, So
Speaker 1: your father, as wealthy as he is, is a busy man,
Speaker 1: and he's not the one going on Christmas vacation with you.
Speaker 1: So right, let's uh, let's just try to consolidate these
Speaker 1: into one one big suitcase and then we don't have
Speaker 1: to fight on this Christmas trip. It's a big deal.
Speaker 1: Everyone's gonna love the trip. We're gonna we're gonna have
Speaker 1: a great time. Kids. Don't you love when mommy sings?
Speaker 1: Isn't that? I feel like when you used when you
Speaker 1: used to sing that song to Dad about how you
Speaker 1: how you never have anybody the other man in the
Speaker 1: house except for him, and how he was the most
Speaker 1: important person in the world and if anybody ever showed up,
Speaker 1: you'd just be lying to him. Yeah. That's um. That
Speaker 1: was an old song and um it had to it
Speaker 1: did have a beautiful tune. So I appreciate you appreciating
Speaker 1: good music. Folks. This is your captains this weekend. I
Speaker 1: want to thank you for joining us today and her
Speaker 1: short trip down to St. Louis and we'll be wheels
Speaker 1: up in about seventeen minutes, so sit back and relax.
Speaker 1: I fly attendants are doing their best. They're gonna keep
Speaker 1: their distance from you and keep their masks on, which
Speaker 1: I trust all of you are doing doing as well.
Speaker 1: And I hope you brought some food even though it's
Speaker 1: a short flight, because we're not gonna be serving you. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you have any questions, by all means, keeping to yourself,
Speaker 1: and uh we'll be landing in St. Louis on time today.
Speaker 1: It looks like and that is this old bucket and
Speaker 1: nuts and bolts stays in the air. All right, they
Speaker 1: sit back and relax, enjoy the excuse me, flight attendant.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me, flight attendant. Yes, yes, yes, sir,
Speaker 1: I'm having a problem getting my seat show back or forward.
Speaker 1: Oh that this actually, sir, this is a model airplane
Speaker 1: and uh that was introduced the the the reclining seats
Speaker 1: weren't introduced until until actually nineteen fifty seven. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a funny Uh, it's a funny little
Speaker 1: bit of history. I can tell you all about it
Speaker 1: if you'd like to, or I could just see if
Speaker 1: I could I could maybe grab your actually love to
Speaker 1: hear all about it. Well, Uh sure, gosh, so so
Speaker 1: rare that someone wants to hear the here the history,
Speaker 1: so so comfort on a plane. Yes, but I was
Speaker 1: in the middle of a story. But you know it's customer. Okay,
Speaker 1: I pay. I'm a customer that pays. Do you understand, Yeah,
Speaker 1: customers and is taking a hit right now, so you
Speaker 1: need me? Okay, yeah, I suppose that's true. Now my
Speaker 1: seat is asking me to smoke a cigarette right now.
Speaker 1: I don't know understand. Usually it's smoking allowed, but yeah,
Speaker 1: she's demanding that I smoke a cigarette. What the cigarette
Speaker 1: demands in the chairs were removed in nineteen fifty one,
Speaker 1: Actually it was. It was originally people thought back then that,
Speaker 1: you know, smoking a plane was better for the children. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. It looks like you're really busy, but
Speaker 1: that's okay. What is it, other flight attendant? Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm just wearing this because I'm a big fan. Oh
Speaker 1: they Oh did the pilot give you wings? That's very cute. Well,
Speaker 1: the kids, so I guess, are too cool to wear it.
Speaker 1: But anyways, the kids are sitting by themselves. I'd like
Speaker 1: to really have one adult per kid, just to keep
Speaker 1: an eye on them because you and I'm refusing to
Speaker 1: switch seats with one of my sons. I'm refusing. Well,
Speaker 1: these uh, these sounds, these sound like like very petty
Speaker 1: problems in in the world that we're living in right
Speaker 1: now where where where things things have gotten a lot worse.
Speaker 1: And I'm a paying customer, and so is my second husband.
Speaker 1: And what we're not paying for is your attitude. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to snap at you. Um, I'll go
Speaker 1: see if I can talk to what is it? The
Speaker 1: two kids singing Da da, We gotta land that lane.
Speaker 1: It can't be in the air. I can't believe you
Speaker 1: let that thing take off. You don't understand there's one
Speaker 1: of the old A bombs are on that plane. All right,
Speaker 1: there was a former military vehicle that is now being
Speaker 1: used commercially that I want to it was never decommissioned, sir.
Speaker 1: I was able to find the A bomb, and so
Speaker 1: I believe it's in the cargo. Who should we We
Speaker 1: can open it electronically from the ground if you'd like
Speaker 1: us to. But you shut the hell up, Henry. We're
Speaker 1: not gonna do that, Okay, We got sure. We gotta
Speaker 1: land this plane or we gotta shoot that plane out
Speaker 1: of the sky. Do you understand those are two options.
Speaker 1: That's all we got. Did somebody says, shoot a plane
Speaker 1: out of this guy? Oh my god, he hasn't been
Speaker 1: here in years wearing what the last thing he was
Speaker 1: wearing when he left is Well to McGregor, it's an honor.
Speaker 1: Let him speak for God's sakes, man, Just don't let
Speaker 1: me speak. Keep running a track while that damn a
Speaker 1: bombs up in the end sideways. If things go a
Speaker 1: little quick at Walter McGregor is here to bring that
Speaker 1: thing down. Totally fun. It's McGregor who said that talking
Speaker 1: said that when someone talked to Walter McGregor, you look
Speaker 1: Walter McGregor, dead in the eyes. Else you keep your
Speaker 1: flap shot you sir, look, look, look, look me in
Speaker 1: the island and say, yes, I just have the one eye, sup.
Speaker 1: But yes, that's what I said, looked me in the eye.
Speaker 1: I also have one eye. That's why they called me dead,
Speaker 1: I McGregor. The other ya died when I was four
Speaker 1: years old. And what I call and that's we're sorry
Speaker 1: for you lost. Mr mcgragor. Having that one eye is
Speaker 1: like a blind man going deaf. Mr Mrs McGregor right,
Speaker 1: sorry to tell you that we did all we could.
Speaker 1: We could not save your son's eye, but the other
Speaker 1: eye is perfectly functioning and he should be just finding fact,
Speaker 1: he will gain more strength, more focus, and more ability
Speaker 1: with the one eye than he might have had with
Speaker 1: the two. Mama, Daddy, I feel like a blind man
Speaker 1: going deaf in that I can mail good doctor. He's
Speaker 1: gotten stupid. Please help us. He's done dumb. You have
Speaker 1: to do something to save my son. That's just I'm
Speaker 1: an immigrant discoy. Here's everything to me. If you don't
Speaker 1: not toys, who's gonna worked aligned with me? No, I
Speaker 1: screwed the hartist all that's sweet, sweet tape. Appreciate forgive me, guys.
Speaker 1: I blanked out there. I was in the middle of
Speaker 1: a flashback. Yeah, you threw upon yourself. Are you all right? Walter?
Speaker 1: Throwing up on myself is just something I do. I
Speaker 1: respect flies and that's how they eat their food. McGregor,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look with you. I every want to follow
Speaker 1: up question, if you don't mind, sir, go right ahead.
Speaker 1: Is it true even though your father came over from
Speaker 1: Scottland you had an Irish accent? Yes, he called himself
Speaker 1: sky Irish copy. I'm not gonna spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time flapping my gums and moving my lips or busting
Speaker 1: my dinches with you guys. You call me if that
Speaker 1: plane is any tuble at all, I'm ready to shoot
Speaker 1: it down, Mr McGregor. So we we did. Because there's
Speaker 1: there's an a bomb on that plane, then there's only
Speaker 1: one thing to do, the bomb off of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's two. Said that again. Now give me the I'm
Speaker 1: not going to sit down. Okay, these are my sons.
Speaker 1: I couldn't sit with them, but I need to keep
Speaker 1: an eye ma'am. I I understand that. But you can't
Speaker 1: just stand in the aisle here. This is a nine plane.
Speaker 1: It's very baby. I'm in two thousand and twenty and
Speaker 1: two thousand and twenty. I live in a free fucking country. So, ma'am,
Speaker 1: i'd like you to please keep the swearing to a minimum.
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna censor me. Now you're gonna tell me
Speaker 1: how to act. Do I need to talk more like
Speaker 1: a lady for you? No, that's not what I said.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I I do not. I believe in gender equality.
Speaker 1: Gender eyes up here, I'm sorry, I'm looking. I look
Speaker 1: at and if you'd for one second, maybe you'd hear
Speaker 1: me when I tell you they're just on the way
Speaker 1: to the visual floor. Excuse me, ma'am, I'm almost finished
Speaker 1: doing your full physical. I did notice that your breaths
Speaker 1: have diabetes. Oh god, yes, you have what I called sweet.
Speaker 1: Oh god. You know, ever since I had children, they
Speaker 1: went from sour to sweet. Yes, go ahead. I just didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that was gonna be a problem. I
Speaker 1: just thought it was my body changing. Uh. Mr Gibson,
Speaker 1: are you awake now? Mr Gibson, can you hear me? Good?
Speaker 1: I am? I good? I am I And then I'm
Speaker 1: in the floor the sound of the Holy Spirit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we know you're a religious man. I just want to
Speaker 1: go over your statement from last night for Australia. You know,
Speaker 1: out of that originally born in Australia, it really comes
Speaker 1: back strong during the hangover. Yeah, so last night apparently
Speaker 1: one that was a tour to force, wasn't it. Check
Speaker 1: your statement when you called officer commanding sugar tips you
Speaker 1: know what I feel mid mixed be on thunder die.
Speaker 1: It was a heavy die. Yeah. There's also something about
Speaker 1: you blaming the Jews for bad things? Ye can we sorry?
Speaker 1: I said, yep, So you do remember that part? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: do you remember that you're aware that they still have
Speaker 1: a controlling interest in most of show business? Oh? I know,
Speaker 1: I am I yeah, So this might cost you a
Speaker 1: couple of gigs if the word should get out. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying, honey, you just please. You are making a scene.
Speaker 1: They're gonna put you on a no flylist. How are
Speaker 1: we going to get back from St. Louis? Oh? I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Did I marry a beautiful man who stands by my side?
Speaker 1: Or did I marry a pussy? You can beat one
Speaker 1: or the other, Henry, you cannot be both. Man, Please
Speaker 1: don't have him stand by your side. The aisles already
Speaker 1: told you're quite narrow on this planet is a nine
Speaker 1: team forty eight model. Well, this is my husband. He
Speaker 1: stands by my side. Year that or I sit on
Speaker 1: his face? What would you prefer? Well, right here on
Speaker 1: this plane. One of those seems highly inappropriate. Um. The
Speaker 1: other one also seems less inappropriate, but also a little dangerous.
Speaker 1: So if you could both take your could you could
Speaker 1: you please ask your children to stop singing? So loudly.
Speaker 1: Those lyrics are very offensive. Now Walter, listen, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is a nineteen sixty super jet. Al right now. Obviously
Speaker 1: it's not the same thing as what a super jet
Speaker 1: would be now, but it's still you're gonna be able
Speaker 1: to catch up to that plane in about forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: All right, Now, you got one shot at this, Walter.
Speaker 1: You gotta guide them down, all right, don't don't shoot
Speaker 1: them down now. Granted there are guns on this jet,
Speaker 1: but don't use them. Plete What if I used a
Speaker 1: controlled shot to shoot them down in a controlled way,
Speaker 1: like into like a body of water or something. Why
Speaker 1: not a body of water or something? Well, they're flying
Speaker 1: to St. Louis, so it's all over land, Captain. Can
Speaker 1: I see in my office place? It seems, um, you
Speaker 1: were given McGregor some mixed signals here. Uh if I
Speaker 1: make rebec the quote here from the transfer, Oh, yep,
Speaker 1: you've got one shot at this, don't shoot down the plane. So, UM,
Speaker 1: I know the term and the phrase you've got one
Speaker 1: shot at this is fairly common, but maybe in that
Speaker 1: particular moment it might have been the least appropriate thing
Speaker 1: to say. I understand that I didn't I didn't have
Speaker 1: another cloquialism in the bag, so I just kind of sure, Okay,
Speaker 1: we've got a list here from nine. Um, you've got
Speaker 1: one chance at this kind of the same thing. Yep, yeah,
Speaker 1: but one involves a shot and one doesn't. So maybe
Speaker 1: that's the alternative. Uh, let's see if you've got another
Speaker 1: one here. Oh look at that. Um, give it your all.
Speaker 1: Not really kind of what I wanted to express. What
Speaker 1: did you want to express? Do you have? You have
Speaker 1: one chance? I guess would have been the best, but
Speaker 1: one one opportunity to So yeah, Well to McGregor, my love,
Speaker 1: my personal law. It's eight fifty two. I've just been
Speaker 1: told to shoot the plane down his words, Where I
Speaker 1: have one shot at this, I'm going to make it
Speaker 1: the best shot I've ever had. It's like my father
Speaker 1: used to say, I can I can hear his voice
Speaker 1: in my head right right now? Do it? M do it?
Speaker 1: Leould say that has seen one, Ladies and Jews merely
Speaker 1: did he shoot it down? Seen? Well, you'll have to
Speaker 1: go to the pod the Aftershow podcast to find out.
Speaker 1: Scene two is from Eli, who wrote hello again and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and
Speaker 1: tell you how much I love you guys in this
Speaker 1: podcast and that you cracked me up every week. But
Speaker 1: I will blow a scene idea up. You're asked Charlie's
Speaker 1: grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. What's up with
Speaker 1: that both sets of grandparents have lived in the same
Speaker 1: bed for twenty years? Yuck, No wonder. It appears as
Speaker 1: though Charlie's mom does laundry for a living good lord
Speaker 1: at those sheets and nightgowns could speak. Just so we're clear,
Speaker 1: I'm referring to the film starring Ging Wilder, Gen Wilder
Speaker 1: Johnny Depp Can Suck Caribbean pirate nuts. Thank you for
Speaker 1: your consideration. With much love and affection, Eli, Have you
Speaker 1: guys seen that that Charlie kid running round here? Yeah?
Speaker 1: With the little guy, Yeah, the kids about him? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I see him every day. What's going on?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Stitches? I know relux, He's all right. Look,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying like, uh, what are you saying? Are
Speaker 1: saying like, what's up with his family? What do you mean?
Speaker 1: I just I don't know. I see like seventy people
Speaker 1: coming another all the time. I didn't hear. No, what's up.
Speaker 1: You didn't hear about his grandparents stitches. I didn't hear.
Speaker 1: Talk to me, what was going on. Well, on the
Speaker 1: day his grandfather married friend mother, I'm sorry, my limp
Speaker 1: is swollen. I was climbing a rock. I fell down.
Speaker 1: I caught myself with the limp out there where they
Speaker 1: used to shoot start Yeah, the start track hill. Right
Speaker 1: on the day his grandfather married his grandmother, the one
Speaker 1: on the mother's side, m she made a pact with
Speaker 1: him to never leave the bed until they were both happy.
Speaker 1: Seems like they've never been both happy. They've been in
Speaker 1: that bed for that long. That's the rub to be
Speaker 1: happy at the same time, right, that's the thing, one
Speaker 1: of them, the little happy time. Let you guys, sorry,
Speaker 1: and let you guys where I heard you from down
Speaker 1: the block. You're telling the grandparents story about the the
Speaker 1: importance of love. Yeah, exactly the same time, at the
Speaker 1: same time that was on the mother's side. On the
Speaker 1: father's side was a whole different tale. Hey, Mikey, tell
Speaker 1: him the story of the grandmother and grandfather on the
Speaker 1: father's side. Oh, the story of the grand grandmother and
Speaker 1: grandfather and father's side. I'm saw the breath I didn't
Speaker 1: know it's gonna be telling. I thought I was just
Speaker 1: coming up to here. You have this story because I
Speaker 1: like your haf this story so much. Just come down.
Speaker 1: I guess that I can just drink it slow, Mike,
Speaker 1: you drink it slow. The water board, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I say you guys, you want to tell you the
Speaker 1: story about the grandparents on the ah. I don't feel
Speaker 1: so good drinking water. That was the day that monkey
Speaker 1: left this earth with the belly full of water? Too much, professor,
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. Um. In the in the remake starring Johnny Depp,
Speaker 1: suck nuts, man, I thought I could ask both of you,
Speaker 1: please go ahead, Okay, I am in the remake and
Speaker 1: also suck nuts. I'm listening. I'm taking them. Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 1: Johnny Depp's version had a really clean haircut, and um,
Speaker 1: I felt Jane Walder's hair was kind of all over
Speaker 1: the place, if not utterly confused. And I'm just wondering
Speaker 1: if that doesn't speak more about the grandparents involvement and
Speaker 1: their inspiration to Charlie in the latter film. Yes, ma'am,
Speaker 1: go ahead, please, I just feel like I can speak
Speaker 1: on this um to me. The Johnny Depp version is
Speaker 1: just like a bunch of like chocolate covered fun nuts.
Speaker 1: That's how fucking bad it is. So if you're going
Speaker 1: to even compare them, then you might as well flush
Speaker 1: yourself down a fucking toilet. Uh. And please forgive me
Speaker 1: if I'm being out of time and step and out
Speaker 1: of tune with you too. You know, as your professor,
Speaker 1: there are certain things I shouldn't say. But I've been
Speaker 1: called chocolate covered fun nuts for the majority of my life. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's actually a very positive name to tell. I was
Speaker 1: born Caucasian from the waist up and African American just
Speaker 1: below the belly button to where a pair of low
Speaker 1: ride shorts would hit you. My nuts, unexplicably, were chocolate,
Speaker 1: chocolate chocolate cover. It was called chocolate covered funck nuts
Speaker 1: from the today that the doctor pulled me, not crying
Speaker 1: but helping myself out of my mother's vaginal canal. No. No.
Speaker 1: Page twenty eight of the book, Like Professor, I was
Speaker 1: on the back of your clouds. I'm sure you saw me.
Speaker 1: Yes I did. Hello, Hi, my name is Dr Logan
Speaker 1: Police I mean, and do be the favor of spelling
Speaker 1: your first name L O G A M. Yes, go ahead,
Speaker 1: Dr logan. Come to my attention that with your work
Speaker 1: and anthropology as well as archaeology and filmography, you're an
Speaker 1: expert in the field and we might have a job
Speaker 1: that is perfectly up your alley. Come to our people
Speaker 1: driving me up there? They go right ahead. Let's come
Speaker 1: to our attention that an original copy of parts of
Speaker 1: the Caribbean has been lost, and it's somewhere in Rome.
Speaker 1: We need you to go there right now on a
Speaker 1: on a bus. Should you realize who's in Rome? Don't
Speaker 1: you you realize who you would be sending me to
Speaker 1: see in Rome? Don't you? I do, Yes, I'm at
Speaker 1: a papa. How can I help you, your holiness? There's
Speaker 1: a there's a professor here to see your professor from America.
Speaker 1: Professor from America. Yes, yes, your Holiness? Did I let
Speaker 1: him in? Did you catch you his name? I maybe
Speaker 1: even a nick and I did hear his nickname? I'm
Speaker 1: reluctant to say it because it's it seems a bit
Speaker 1: off color for Vatican City, sir. But remember we don't
Speaker 1: use the terms of like off of color anymore. Okay, okay, well, this,
Speaker 1: sir is um If I may introduce Professor Chocolate covered
Speaker 1: fu nuts. Professor, I've heard of you in the teachings
Speaker 1: of American Cinematic Genius. Yes you have. Can I ask
Speaker 1: what if? What honor should I have to have you
Speaker 1: a present? In the much embers I was sent to
Speaker 1: see something out. I was so infatuated with the guy.
Speaker 1: Spelling of his first name, I can't recall what it was.
Speaker 1: It was l O G A N. Let me call
Speaker 1: him on the phone quickly. Please, please take all the
Speaker 1: time where you need. Just take much time making the
Speaker 1: hand the craft the pizza past Oh that sounds lovely.
Speaker 1: If you wouldn't mind making me a slice, I would
Speaker 1: I do crazy over. You're like a pepperoni who doesn't
Speaker 1: as as my father used to say, only an idiot
Speaker 1: wouldn't like pepperoni. Oh, I like it to sounder your papa.
Speaker 1: Hold on, let me make this quick call. Hello. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is the professor. Hi, this is logan being easy
Speaker 1: And if you'd like to leave a message, feel free
Speaker 1: to leave a message. If you don't, that's also a
Speaker 1: percent ocades up to you. This voicemail is for you
Speaker 1: to that not. So if you want to anything you need,
Speaker 1: just leave it in the voicemail. I'll be able to
Speaker 1: get to you and just after the beach, just say
Speaker 1: whatever you need to logan. I hope this machine can end.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, here we are. I hope this machine can
Speaker 1: answer questions. I just got to Rome and I was
Speaker 1: so infatuated with the way he spelled your first name.
Speaker 1: I completely forgot why you sent me here. I knew
Speaker 1: I was going on a bus looking, but that's all
Speaker 1: I can. Well. If the machine doesn't answer questions, I
Speaker 1: because I'm just speaking into thin air. Your message has completed.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to re listen to your message, press one.
Speaker 1: If you're happy with your message, press two. I think
Speaker 1: I'm rather happy with it, not like Charlie's grandmother and grandfather.
Speaker 1: I'm completely happy. Two. Your message has been deleted. Would
Speaker 1: you like it should get me more of dope? Please?
Speaker 1: Are Birth of the Pizza again? Yes, your holiness, thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much for having me over for some gruel.
Speaker 1: But what I really want is a delicious beef Wellington
Speaker 1: and I wanted. Oh, Charlie, your your friend is your
Speaker 1: friend is a little abrasive here in our home. Go
Speaker 1: ahead and say charging your friends a bit, Charlie, she's
Speaker 1: a right excuse me Rua look in every mind to leave.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't stop you for Ruca if you wanted to leave,
Speaker 1: But well, I'd nowhere to go. If you noticed, my
Speaker 1: chaperone never came out of the chocolate factory, but I did.
Speaker 1: That's terribly sad. Is Do you think that maybe your
Speaker 1: chaperone is avoiding you because you're unpleasant as a child? No?
Speaker 1: Not now, I am Well that's kind of what we
Speaker 1: were hoping for. Maybe take a little responsibility for your behavior. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe take a little responsibility. What we know about the
Speaker 1: Wonker Man is that he does evil insty people. I
Speaker 1: can't believe they were putting me in the name. It
Speaker 1: seems to me he does what people have comeing to him.
Speaker 1: Now it feels like a little like come up and
Speaker 1: for everybody, that's what it feels like. Definition of calm.
Speaker 1: It was on that day that the grandparents realized that
Speaker 1: they both agreed on something, and they were happy about
Speaker 1: agreeing on something the same. I think I love you
Speaker 1: more than ever, Georgie. Well, I think I love you too, Georgina.
Speaker 1: They're floating about, oh goodness, oh goodness. Oh yeah. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you heard, but all that Wonka candy
Speaker 1: got recalled. Apparently they're like human body parts and ship
Speaker 1: in the chocolate and all the candy you got, like
Speaker 1: all chewed up and mixed into every hill. How you
Speaker 1: guys talking about that? The candy recall that the that's wild? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I heard about that, all right. I just ran I
Speaker 1: have this. Holy Mikey, Oh my god, he make you?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, mike are you okay? Holy sh Stitches,
Speaker 1: just give me that knife? Give me ane hey, which
Speaker 1: one the pocket knife on the jack knife one? You know? Take? Okay? Okay, Mikey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cut into your chest. Okay, I'm gonna break
Speaker 1: open your your rib cage. I'm gonna try to get
Speaker 1: your heart out. Okay, do you understand me? He's never
Speaker 1: funding Okay, Stitches, Okay, hold his arms down. Okay, Mikey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stab you now. Okay, he stabbing me? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: mike can you hear me? Just fine? There two knives
Speaker 1: in my chest? Okay, Mikey, I missed the part of it.
Speaker 1: What's happening? Oh my god, O god, you're awake, Mikey.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to break open your rib cage. You here,
Speaker 1: now I'm fine. Hear me, Mike, He's gonna have to
Speaker 1: crack open your ribbons. My ribs have fine now, he
Speaker 1: said he's fine. He said he's fine. They'll need the
Speaker 1: clock off its webs. Just get off of me. Okay.
Speaker 1: I love you, Okay, I love you. To do this anymore.
Speaker 1: It's nice. I know, I know I should have been
Speaker 1: talking to you so much more, but I don't know why. Lulu.
Speaker 1: You have a body to dispose. Come to my factory, sir,
Speaker 1: and Mr Wonker's not really. I mean, we got to
Speaker 1: dispose it. But this is a good friend, Mike. So
Speaker 1: we really want like a kind of like a peaceful burial.
Speaker 1: If you can't have nice some of this unrespectable, you
Speaker 1: never know what's nice un respectable until things start getting crazy. Okay, yeah, chocolate,
Speaker 1: bring your friendly What the fun is that? Let me?
Speaker 1: I hope you get rid of your friend. There. We
Speaker 1: cut them up into pieces and put them into chocolate.
Speaker 1: Can you follow me? Okay? If I'm a kind of
Speaker 1: peaceful burial, you're looking for given a foundry? Yeah, you've
Speaker 1: found one. Okay, I've never heard of one. Tell me
Speaker 1: about it. Sorry, Pope, I called Logan's number, and I
Speaker 1: still I didn't get in my head, absolutely no idea. Why. Well,
Speaker 1: at least so you're taking your time, oh with your
Speaker 1: audience with the Pope. But most people there in the
Speaker 1: hurry and it's a kind of disrespect for But you,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, seem to have all the time
Speaker 1: in the day. So if it should dawn on you
Speaker 1: while you're here at some point, to let me know.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, we'll have ourselves a pizza. This is wonderful.
Speaker 1: Would you like something to drink it with your pizza?
Speaker 1: I would love it. Sparkling water perhaps, Uh, sparkling water,
Speaker 1: it's appropriate. Oh no, what did I sparkling the water?
Speaker 1: That's what you think of? The pope has sparkling water?
Speaker 1: Is that? What do you think is a mini fridge?
Speaker 1: I mean it's a respectable water. It was bought by
Speaker 1: Coca Cola, but still is a very tasty water. He
Speaker 1: meant no harm, sir. I'm fighting them, finding them. Get
Speaker 1: him a Coca Cola for sake, Yes, sir, Please put
Speaker 1: your Mpton down, sir, Please please don't do it today.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this class is still out. I don't
Speaker 1: know where the professor. This is crazy you you were
Speaker 1: in uh professor chocolate covered nuts class as well? Right,
Speaker 1: yeah you, yeah, yeah, I was, yeah right, I was
Speaker 1: just I'm just wondering, like what's going on? I hope,
Speaker 1: like I mean, there are these credits gonna be transferable.
Speaker 1: Are we gonna get an automatic pass? Or oh? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't go to this college. Just kind of popped in.
Speaker 1: Check out some classes, pop out, make some friends so
Speaker 1: you don't go to this you're not in the class,
Speaker 1: then sleep with two George pop out? Okay books, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pop out, all right, thank you. I gotta go
Speaker 1: bite all on some dust. Why not pop out? Hi?
Speaker 1: Is the librarian here? Sorry? I'm sorry? Is the librarian here? Hello? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just got to ship filled copies of Catcher in
Speaker 1: the Rye and I'm just trying to then I've got
Speaker 1: to go. I hope you find the librarian. Uh excuse me,
Speaker 1: I'm the librarian hero. Yeah. I was born with something
Speaker 1: called split vision, where I can read, but I can't
Speaker 1: see how. I have to split my reading out of
Speaker 1: right eye and left at the same time. And I
Speaker 1: got two copies of Catching the Rye from the library
Speaker 1: and both of them are shut filled they're both ship filled. Yes,
Speaker 1: when I catch the monster that's been shipping in our books,
Speaker 1: this is ridiculous here. But if you wipe this ship,
Speaker 1: it's not just a complaint. I merely wanted you to know.
Speaker 1: Not no, not at all. Like the books were still
Speaker 1: a stack of ship filled books back here. We're trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what to do with them, because nine
Speaker 1: out of tend people don't like ship in their books.
Speaker 1: I don't love them or hate them. I'm indifferent about them.
Speaker 1: I merely wanted you to know if you need them,
Speaker 1: read I because if you check this out and brought
Speaker 1: it in with ship in there, I would assume it
Speaker 1: was you and we would be finding you. I can
Speaker 1: promise you. I've never shot in a book before. Brian,
Speaker 1: your report on catching the rye Um is interesting. It
Speaker 1: seems like a majority of this story eluded you for
Speaker 1: some reason, Like there are big chunks that you just
Speaker 1: I guess didn't process or didn't they were they were
Speaker 1: they were for lack of edit word yeah big chunks.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. So um. Normally I I'd asked you to
Speaker 1: redo it, but I'm actually gonna I'm actually gonna fail
Speaker 1: you out of college completely filed me out of college completely. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've talked to talk to your other professors and we
Speaker 1: all agreed. I'll call my dad, Mr Logan and he'll
Speaker 1: take care of this. Mr Logan for Professor Logan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I call him Mr Logan at home. Well, of
Speaker 1: course he's your dad. I'm so sorry, Brian, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. Why don't Why don't Why don't I take
Speaker 1: another look at this paper and maybe I can maybe
Speaker 1: maybe it's a a bus Hey, Brian, you go here? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: me too, I go here. Well I guess we both
Speaker 1: go here. Yeah, but at the same time, not in
Speaker 1: an official way, you know what I mean. So like,
Speaker 1: if you get kicked out, it's not even a big deal.
Speaker 1: You can still come in, shoot on some books, by
Speaker 1: some desks or whatever you want. Whoa you said, come in,
Speaker 1: then by some dust, But in between those you said out. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you get away with it, right, Sometimes you don't.
Speaker 1: I'm going to show you a book that I have
Speaker 1: and tell me if you recognize Okay, oh yeah, that's
Speaker 1: my that's my handiwork for sure. Yeah, that's me Johnson.
Speaker 1: Can I see you in my office? Please? Just looking
Speaker 1: over at this latest report you're turned turned in, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm as wild as you can see, having trouble speaking. Uh,
Speaker 1: you are now claiming that nine out of ten people
Speaker 1: don't prefer their books to have shipped in them, and
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. So you're saying one out of ten
Speaker 1: are super good with it. Well, what I think is
Speaker 1: happening is that's ten out of a hundred Johnson. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so what I'm thinking is going on is there that's
Speaker 1: out of a thousand. It's I mean, the apps will
Speaker 1: stay the same no matter how much you exponentially increase them.
Speaker 1: But what I think is is they probably all don't
Speaker 1: like it, but only one out of ten are not
Speaker 1: going to verbalize it, and they just bring it back.
Speaker 1: They just say nothing. So you're gonna make the assumption
Speaker 1: you're gonna you're gonna error on the side of their
Speaker 1: cool with ship on their book. No. I just I've
Speaker 1: taken every book that I find with ship inside of it.
Speaker 1: I put it aside in a separate pile every book.
Speaker 1: So there's a pile of ship covered. But I call
Speaker 1: it a pile of ship. Yeah. Well you are Captain
Speaker 1: on the nose, Dean. I hope you stuck it to
Speaker 1: a child a day with fractions. I hope you told
Speaker 1: them all about it. I certainly did. Yeah, have another beer,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Let me let me say this
Speaker 1: that important. Yes it is. It's from It's from Rome, delicious.
Speaker 1: I just imported it. I didn't have anything to do
Speaker 1: with with making it. I just uh, Now, the professor
Speaker 1: who used to work here, he he, he went to Roman.
Speaker 1: Now he's important. He's importing beer out of that. Holy cow?
Speaker 1: What is he still in Rome? Nobody nobody's thought about
Speaker 1: that in a while. And I guess nobody really, nobody
Speaker 1: really know. Is this the professor? They want to see
Speaker 1: the pope? Yeah? Yeah, he went to see the pope
Speaker 1: apparently and never came back. Says they never came back. Dingdong, knock, knock, knock.
Speaker 1: I'm here at the door. I'd like to know if
Speaker 1: I can come in. Oh, Dean, is your office? Is
Speaker 1: it okay if this guy comes in? Oh, it's an
Speaker 1: open door policy. Absolutely, Come on, Thank you? How are you? Uh? Mr?
Speaker 1: Our better students? I recognize I've been um. Thank you
Speaker 1: very very much. It's it's not mine. I guess that's
Speaker 1: what I like about it. Most of all is one
Speaker 1: of our favorites. Did you have a question? No, no, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, I've been working at there a
Speaker 1: minute and myself and everyone else has pink. That's fuck.
Speaker 1: Somewhere Charlie's grandparents were wondering what happened. See three Coach
Speaker 1: patron Happy Karen, who wrote Happy Endless Pandemic scene suggestion.
Speaker 1: Valid girls perform a scene from Shakespeare with love from
Speaker 1: Karen and Kenton, Ohio. Darling, I heard you got the
Speaker 1: part in the hood. You got the part in the
Speaker 1: school play. That's that's wonderful. Like I totally deserved it.
Speaker 1: I worked really hard and like I'm I'm gonna crush
Speaker 1: it on stage. Tell your father what parts you got?
Speaker 1: Tell your father, tell me what Darling? I love you
Speaker 1: before reinforcing, reinforcing our daughters. I'm so supported it makes
Speaker 1: me sick already. But please, what part did little miss
Speaker 1: Sunshine get this time? Like I'm gonna be Juliet, which
Speaker 1: is a pretty big deal because she's one of the
Speaker 1: partitular roles in Romeo and Juliet. So you're our daughters
Speaker 1: doing Shakespeare. God, no, no, no, no, God, What does
Speaker 1: the world come to? Larry me. Yes, whatever our daughter
Speaker 1: chooses should be okay with us. I know it should
Speaker 1: be right. It should be I should love her unconditionally
Speaker 1: like I love our son, who's an angel here. And
Speaker 1: I can hear everything you choose are saying, and I
Speaker 1: don't feel like you're supporting me. Your mother and I
Speaker 1: made a promise that if we were going to fight
Speaker 1: in private, we fight in front of you as well. Look, Kathleen,
Speaker 1: your mother and I disagree on how to raise you.
Speaker 1: If you want to beat Juliet in that place, you
Speaker 1: get out there and you'll be the best. Damn Juliet.
Speaker 1: It's as I'm concerned your mother things differently. However, Well,
Speaker 1: let's do a quick test, shall we. Darling, go ahead
Speaker 1: and spell Juliette for us. Won't you like j you
Speaker 1: l I E T e oh no, oh no, Kathleen,
Speaker 1: Kathleen and Amanda to the stage please. Woodland Hills High
Speaker 1: School is not going to perform Shakespeare on its own.
Speaker 1: The lights hold the lights please, definitely. Okay, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: so we're doing the scene. We're doing it. Juliet and
Speaker 1: the nurse. It's it's the scene right before the balcony scene.
Speaker 1: I assume you've Kathleen, where's your script? Like, I just
Speaker 1: watched the Lena Caprio movie of it, and I think
Speaker 1: I've got it. But really, the only part I'm really
Speaker 1: confident in is the balconies scene, So like, could we
Speaker 1: just start there? No, we're not starting. A man is
Speaker 1: not even in the balcony scene. Do the scene with
Speaker 1: a man? Amanda, you're off book. I assume you're always
Speaker 1: off book. Yes, yes, I am very off book. I've
Speaker 1: never even looked at it. See this is called acting,
Speaker 1: nat Lane. Now right, let's take it from the top
Speaker 1: of the scene. Could you like just give me a like,
Speaker 1: like a totally brief summary of what's going to happen
Speaker 1: in the scene. And then in this scene, the nurse
Speaker 1: and Juliet are discussing the young man that Juliet has
Speaker 1: just met at a party. And that's right, I got
Speaker 1: I got a guy. M A rose by a rose.
Speaker 1: There's a's never a rose by a name, never by
Speaker 1: a name like a nurse. Um, this is he's like
Speaker 1: really a hunky dude. Stop there for a second, Amanda.
Speaker 1: That was perfect. That was every line perfect. But for
Speaker 1: God's sake, Kathleen, there's no there's no like in the
Speaker 1: middle of a Shakespeare and Shakespeare did not say to
Speaker 1: be or like not to be? He said no to be.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to modernize it. Isn't that the new thing
Speaker 1: that everybody's doing, like banadizing it? For God's sake, Let's
Speaker 1: start from the top of the scene. Please, how rose
Speaker 1: by Rose is a rose, no matter the name rose? Like,
Speaker 1: could you just do me a favor and could you
Speaker 1: modernize what you're saying because I don't understand what you're
Speaker 1: saying to me. Don't modernize what you're saying. Do not know.
Speaker 1: Do not take notes from another actor on stage. Please,
Speaker 1: that's right, You've already told me that. And never make
Speaker 1: eye contact with you and man, Professor Juliard, I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about the way you were waking
Speaker 1: with today at your socar rehosal. Yes, yes, might of
Speaker 1: course means parents called us today. The father was very
Speaker 1: disagreeable to your actions towards her. However, the mother approved
Speaker 1: of you. Scolden someone that's got some sense in that family.
Speaker 1: I'm asking you to continue to walk a tight line.
Speaker 1: I'm also asking you God, this is hard for me
Speaker 1: as a man who's been at the school forever? Will
Speaker 1: you marry me? But that's not that's what I was
Speaker 1: expecting to hear. It wasn't what I was expecting to say.
Speaker 1: In her life, looked into your eyes, ding, don't knock
Speaker 1: knock him at the door. I'm so sorry to her, principle.
Speaker 1: But professor, to the looks like Amanda, she's one of
Speaker 1: your students. Is in the play. Yes, she broke both
Speaker 1: of her legs, her knees have out of her skin.
Speaker 1: She's not gonna be able to be in the play. Principal.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry belate that question, sir. I'll come back
Speaker 1: to you, of course, of course, do what you must.
Speaker 1: Flee go on. How are you, Principal? Help me? I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I was full of on we I was just looking
Speaker 1: out my window. I'm fine, I'm I guess I've been
Speaker 1: stricken by something I called. I said yes, you said
Speaker 1: yes to me, But I asked you last week and
Speaker 1: you you said, let me think about it. I'm I
Speaker 1: moved on. Oh oh um oh, let me um no, no, no,
Speaker 1: let me know if I can I can. Uh hey, ken,
Speaker 1: let me just tell you. I read your review of
Speaker 1: the Woodland Hills uh performance Woodenly Hills, high performance of
Speaker 1: Romeo and Julian. I just gotta say, as wonderful as
Speaker 1: that production might have been, your review of it was
Speaker 1: possibly the most entertaining thing I've read all year. I'm sorry, Ken,
Speaker 1: before you answer, uh, I just want to know there's
Speaker 1: a call for you online two, line seven and line eleven.
Speaker 1: They all came in at the same time. If you
Speaker 1: need to get that, I'm happy to well, I I'd
Speaker 1: like to take decent private but all I know I'll
Speaker 1: step out, So you go ahead. Okay, Well you also
Speaker 1: step out. I mean these are I'll step out, but
Speaker 1: I'll step out. I do want to listen in online
Speaker 1: eleven though. I'm just I've always been curious about the
Speaker 1: line of level. Well, it's rarely used. I think it's
Speaker 1: because a lot of people are either angry or happy.
Speaker 1: Let me just I gotta get to one of them,
Speaker 1: which Logan. Here, it's Logan's voicemail. If you want to
Speaker 1: leave a voicemail, feel free. This voicemail is open to
Speaker 1: you anyone who wants to use it. Not a problem
Speaker 1: or two was a voicemail recording seven and eleven. Then
Speaker 1: I'll step out, all right? Seven can this is your
Speaker 1: medium speaking just kind of calling you back. Thank god. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I reviewed a high school play and I hurt some
Speaker 1: people's feelings and other people's I'm going to have to
Speaker 1: remind you again. I'm less of a therapist and more
Speaker 1: of just liaison between you and the afterlife and people
Speaker 1: in the afterlife. So if you can keep the person
Speaker 1: I didn't understand. I thought you were psychic. I'm a medium,
Speaker 1: ye um. I can communicate with people who have passed
Speaker 1: on to the next life, and that helps you tell
Speaker 1: the future, right, and that gives me an understanding of
Speaker 1: what the afterlife people have to say. But I can't
Speaker 1: say that I have future stick random. Sorry, but you're
Speaker 1: losing a ship ton of business here at your psychic center.
Speaker 1: Ken did a hit job on you on the local news. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like this this piece. If you read it, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's dragging you, Miranda. It's bad. Let me look at it,
Speaker 1: let me see it. Yeah, but's so entertaining. That's the cartoons.
Speaker 1: If you go to the other side, if you read down,
Speaker 1: you'll see the article. Oh that's a sick burn, that's
Speaker 1: a deep burn. That's the kind of burn that you
Speaker 1: die from. Hey, Larry Kim was listening in on you,
Speaker 1: telling her about the hit job that he did on her.
Speaker 1: He did a hit job on your combo. Bro, take
Speaker 1: a look at this. It's all over twits, over twigs.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry on Twitter, I say Twitch, this TwixT is good. No,
Speaker 1: by the es, Twitter, I'm sorry out what the what
Speaker 1: the fucking my ask? Holy shit? Yeah, holy ship, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm getting docks. This is my personal info. Yeah yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's what he does. But it's also entertaining. He's entertaining
Speaker 1: to you, to me, this is this is my life. Man,
Speaker 1: nothing knock knock, thaning thing. I'm coming through the auditorium. Dogs,
Speaker 1: I don't care for productions happening. Oh, dear God, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna drag my half a body up to that stage
Speaker 1: of dear God. Amanda, Amanda, you've been replaced in this production, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.
Speaker 1: Come come sit, sit, sit, sit down. Look they're already
Speaker 1: deep into choices with my legs as they are. Fine,
Speaker 1: then just then sort of just be there, don't sit,
Speaker 1: don't stand just right, just ride there and look you
Speaker 1: you were and remained the best actor that this school
Speaker 1: has ever seen in a thousand years. But you've got
Speaker 1: no but you've got no working legs right now. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry I had to put another student up there on
Speaker 1: the stage, Trevor. Just a couple of questions. I see
Speaker 1: that you attended the Royal Academy Dramatic Arts. Wow, and
Speaker 1: then you took a job, oh, directing the musicals and
Speaker 1: plays at the Woodland Hills High School in discorrect California.
Speaker 1: Are you going to ask me what went wrong? And
Speaker 1: when I was just going to do that? Let me
Speaker 1: grab a bottle of four roses, and four actual roses.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to judge in any way, shape or form.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. No, fine, what do we have to
Speaker 1: say that? I am curious about the bridge between these
Speaker 1: two locations, the two the bridge between Professor Juliard and
Speaker 1: and Woodland Hills High School. Yep, well the bridge was
Speaker 1: an actual bridge. The bridge was a bridge that I
Speaker 1: drove over. Got motion picture style amnesia. Had two legs
Speaker 1: and casts, two arms and casts. So when a man
Speaker 1: is going through I understand right now, I know, I
Speaker 1: know what it's like. Dear lord man. Yes, I don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about it any further. Oh you're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about this and me. When I asked you to
Speaker 1: marry me, I never realized we had had a broken
Speaker 1: bone before. I know that like weak man, darling, I've
Speaker 1: not proven myself weak in any way since then. My God,
Speaker 1: you're the only thing in my life. What where will
Speaker 1: I find another who will love me? And merrit not
Speaker 1: ask these questions, Ask not the questions for how hard
Speaker 1: it's not ready to receive? Van quiet answers, Oh God,
Speaker 1: she's she expnswering me go, whether go with I? Just that?
Speaker 1: Look away from me now? I look away from you
Speaker 1: now because there is another, my love, another that has
Speaker 1: stormed upon the entrails of my heart and come in
Speaker 1: such voice as yours, and in such kindness as yours.
Speaker 1: Who it is tis the very principle of the school
Speaker 1: at which I, at which I attend. He hath asked
Speaker 1: me to be his bride, and I shall say yes,
Speaker 1: For his eye does resemble thine eye, his voice does
Speaker 1: resemble thy voice resemblance Why does I run to him
Speaker 1: and not stay here with me? Lie down beside me,
Speaker 1: sweet husband? Yeah, yeah, verily, my wife, Tis tis been
Speaker 1: tis been troubles at tis been troubles at the at
Speaker 1: the school our leading lady. Think I checked. I checked
Speaker 1: all your credit and it looks like you're you both
Speaker 1: will be ready to be financed for this new Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a matter of seconds. So we're ready to go
Speaker 1: whenever you two are so right now, if we're still
Speaker 1: if we're still to be one another's special Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: could you give me give us a four more minutes, please?
Speaker 1: Four more minutes? You got it right here in the
Speaker 1: bed of this and and by the way, it does
Speaker 1: have their reclining seats correct, Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah, he did.
Speaker 1: I think so. So this everything in here, and you're
Speaker 1: also getting the Premium Sports package. This is the PS package,
Speaker 1: so it just just yeah, so it's all all bells
Speaker 1: and whistle. I'll give you. I'll give you too a moment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: take your time, folks, Kyle, come with me. You let
Speaker 1: them fuck in the truck before you close, or want
Speaker 1: to give a ship as long as I get the sale,
Speaker 1: who gives a crap? That's exactly why I'm asking. I've
Speaker 1: had I've had customers dump inside the center console and
Speaker 1: not drive off. Okay, goodnight, are just bragging the point
Speaker 1: is close? Or good day? Sir? Hey how about this?
Speaker 1: How about I said good day, good, good day to you, sir.
Speaker 1: Do not bite your thumb at me, Katherine. I don't
Speaker 1: want to see you. I don't have the strength like
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that even though that
Speaker 1: you can't be in the play, like we're doing pretty
Speaker 1: good without you, and the new nurse is a little
Speaker 1: bit more like my acting style. So I think it's
Speaker 1: like going to work out how it felt when you
Speaker 1: Tanya hardened me to stop the play, and now it
Speaker 1: keeps going and it's better without me. Do you sell
Speaker 1: how it felt to have you get a random car
Speaker 1: salesman to pretend to be a janitor at our school
Speaker 1: and tell I should be kicked out just because my
Speaker 1: bones were poking out of my life. Like if your
Speaker 1: leg bones break, that probably means your armbones are good break,
Speaker 1: and then then it was probably the best for you anyway.
Speaker 1: There was so many options, so many options to keep
Speaker 1: me on that stage, and you took it from me.
Speaker 1: So don't come into my hospital room and tell me
Speaker 1: about my brittle bones. Well, I like brought these flowers.
Speaker 1: So nobody working in this car dealership, there's nobody in
Speaker 1: here at all. I need some service. I want to
Speaker 1: buy a damn trup. Yes, sir, Yes, sir, How can
Speaker 1: I help you? Yeah, I'm looking for something that's been
Speaker 1: fresh to fund and I'm looking for that's the one,
Speaker 1: all right. I'm looking for one that literally has been fresh.
Speaker 1: And I want to buy a fleet to these motherfucking trup. Well,
Speaker 1: we have one for certain on the show room. And
Speaker 1: if you like the fleet. I'm so sorry that I
Speaker 1: that I ever doubted you, my darling. That's all I
Speaker 1: had done, and I'm sorry that I doubted you as well.
Speaker 1: That was wonderful. Shall we again? I'm sorry to say
Speaker 1: that again? Shall we gain? Yes? Let us engage in
Speaker 1: Merryman and these new weather tech insoles. You can put
Speaker 1: them in any truck bed, any lining. Not only are
Speaker 1: they gonna get rid of soil, not only are they
Speaker 1: gonna get rid of coffee stains or water, but they'll
Speaker 1: get rid of jiz to or any other kind of
Speaker 1: bodily fluid slashes, rusting sir. I'm just looking to get
Speaker 1: a truck. Yeah. Congratulations to our graduating class. Now please
Speaker 1: come up to the stage from the auditorium and accept
Speaker 1: your diplomas. Up first, Amanda a ard Varkian, Oh God, left,
Speaker 1: but riddle my way up there. Just God just for today.
Speaker 1: But oh we love to leave him on a high. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's thank all of our alchemists, starting of course with
Speaker 1: uh the sudden return without warning of Mr Mark Gagliar,
Speaker 1: like like our show had already started. Thanks for letting
Speaker 1: me come and play. Yes, um uh Mark, so you
Speaker 1: you've traversed the globe finishing the season. Have Do they
Speaker 1: have any idea when when the new season might drop?
Speaker 1: We're thinking I, We're hoping, we're thinking January, So January
Speaker 1: and CBS look out for Blood and Treasure season two.
Speaker 1: Flood and Treasure to returning to c Congrats on that,
Speaker 1: and uh, great to see your face. So good to
Speaker 1: see you guys. This it makes me so happy. Gary Williams. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: all the best in Chicago Land. Thank you friend, by
Speaker 1: the way, just that you know nothing can go wrong
Speaker 1: in my world, Just so you know that nothing, nothing
Speaker 1: could possibly go wrong. No, no, no, Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for being here where folks might find you on
Speaker 1: the socials or anywhere else that you might direct them
Speaker 1: if you want. My podcast is at Gary and it's
Speaker 1: at day drinking with Gary and Elliott, or you just
Speaker 1: look at me up on the Instagram at Gary Anthony Williams. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you for that. I'll start the most thank oh man,
Speaker 1: having happy holidays. Thanks. Let circle back to gags for
Speaker 1: a moment. I forgot to ask if you wanted to
Speaker 1: plug any such project. Um Thrilling Adventure Ours Brilling Adventure
Speaker 1: has a live We have a live Thrilling Adventure Our
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve show on How Seats Live. Also on
Speaker 1: how Seats Live. Uh is we got this with Mark
Speaker 1: and how uh with myself and how Loveland. We just
Speaker 1: uh we just dropped a music and comedy show and
Speaker 1: that I hope you'll enjoy so far out all right,
Speaker 1: Jackie d Ruthie, happy holidays to you as well. Thank
Speaker 1: you Happy holidays, and folks will find you on the
Speaker 1: socials by your name, yeah at Jackie Ruthy. And also
Speaker 1: I'm at the Most Wonderful Pot of the Year. It's
Speaker 1: the most wonderful pod of the year. If it's hard
Speaker 1: for you to remember, well, I know one particular, one
Speaker 1: particular episode of that podcast was just fantastic. One particular yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: We talked about a really cool movie called Blizzard with
Speaker 1: a really odd guest. Odd but it was a good episode. Hey,
Speaker 1: I had fun, is all I know? Joey great, Thank
Speaker 1: you as well, young man. Thank you. You can find me.
Speaker 1: Let us know how your your audience with the Pope goes.
Speaker 1: I will I met the Pope And let me just
Speaker 1: say this. You can find me at god Less chim
Speaker 1: Chum on Instagram and every Wednesday at eight o'clock on Twitch,
Speaker 1: Twitch dot tv slash bs Comedy. Their supplies doing something
Speaker 1: we normally don't know. It normally formulates about half hour
Speaker 1: into the show anyway, so come check it out and
Speaker 1: to leave. The show goes run an hour, maybe in
Speaker 1: two hours. Sometimes, well we don't know. We just let it.
Speaker 1: Just let it right. And if folks wanted to follow
Speaker 1: up afterwards and write to you and tell you how
Speaker 1: much they enjoyed that wonderful performance, is there a way
Speaker 1: they can do that? Yeah? Again, God bless Jim Chum
Speaker 1: you can uh d m me. I guess I don't
Speaker 1: know if I'll respond, but feel free to you know whatever,
Speaker 1: So that's one way or uh thanks for figuring that
Speaker 1: out for them. I appreciate that very much. James Heeney,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. I'm gonna double down on that
Speaker 1: Wednesday night. It's somewhere between seven and eight pm CIFIC
Speaker 1: Standard time. Let me start and we'll go for as
Speaker 1: long as we're still happening. Fun, honestly is the way
Speaker 1: it seems to go. Uh Twitch dot Tv, slash bs Comedy.
Speaker 1: I love that you guys refused to be nailed down
Speaker 1: to a start time. That's the coolest thing that's ever happened.
Speaker 1: Unless thank your engineering producing the stars, Mr Dougan. Fine
Speaker 1: holks that I heart media. I'm host Kevin Pollock ermand
Speaker 1: you to please be kind to each other. It's the
Speaker 1: best way we're going to get out of this and
Speaker 1: keep writing to us. Your name here, Welcome to this
Speaker 1: dot com. Thanks to all the fine folks out there
Speaker 1: who give a good hoot. Be careful, be kind. To
Speaker 1: see you next time. From