Speaker 1: If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're
Speaker 1: listening to Software Radio Special Operations, military news and straight
Speaker 1: talk with the guys in the community. Hello everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: back to SOFTWAREP Radio. I'm your host today, Steve BLASTRAI.
Speaker 1: We have a great show lined up for you here
Speaker 1: on SOFTWAREP Radio. We have Command Sarge you Major retired
Speaker 1: Tom Satalie and his wife Jen. Uh. Tom was a
Speaker 1: Delta Force operator. He did a ton of combat deployments.
Speaker 1: We'll probably get into all of that, and then uh,
Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of our warriors today, Tom
Speaker 1: suffered with some PTSD and he went through some bad
Speaker 1: times and with the help of his wife, uh Jen,
Speaker 1: who's going to fill us in on her perspective on things,
Speaker 1: he was able to get through that. And they have
Speaker 1: a foundation called the All Secure Foundation that helps Special
Speaker 1: operators and and their families. Jenna also runs a a
Speaker 1: site for the wives called Farrago, and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: into that as well, but we want to welcome them
Speaker 1: both to the podcast. Tom, Jen, thank you for taking
Speaker 1: the time to join us here just before Christmas, So
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas to both of you, and welcome Mary Christian,
Speaker 1: thank you and that's that your favorite time of the year,
Speaker 1: all right, Yeah, I think it's everyone's favorite time of
Speaker 1: the year. So it's the one time of year everyone
Speaker 1: seems to you know, that there's a little bit of
Speaker 1: a weight lifted off everyone's shoulders. There, everyone's a little
Speaker 1: bit nicer to each other. And and I wish we
Speaker 1: could be like that, uh for twelve months out of
Speaker 1: the year exactly, right, wouldn't have wouldn't it be just
Speaker 1: be a better place? Yeah? Yes, it would. So always Christmas? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Tom Phillison, a little bit about your career. I know
Speaker 1: I just kind of glossed over it, but uh, tell
Speaker 1: our listeners about what your background was, how you ended
Speaker 1: up to be where you were. Wow, everything for me
Speaker 1: seems to be by chance or by stumbling. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I spent I retired ten years ago this month,
Speaker 1: and I U enlisted in nine six in the Army,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I came in for four years
Speaker 1: to get some college money and get out, you know,
Speaker 1: I was just in an out deal for me, and
Speaker 1: then U I blinked and uh, you know, years later,
Speaker 1: I I had gone through the Q course and got
Speaker 1: my green beret and decided during the language school that
Speaker 1: I would go to Trout for Delta and made that
Speaker 1: and spent twenty years UM in Delta and then uh,
Speaker 1: you know, ten years after that I've spent trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what I would do with the rest of
Speaker 1: my life after retirement. But yeah, I was lucky enough
Speaker 1: to be in an organization that allowed me to go
Speaker 1: around the world and conduct jobs that most people don't
Speaker 1: get to do. And if I didn't die, I got
Speaker 1: to do it again the next day. So it was
Speaker 1: always exciting, um and it and it took its toll.
Speaker 1: But you know, for a guy who just came in
Speaker 1: to get some college money, I think I did all
Speaker 1: right for five year career. That's you know, set me
Speaker 1: up for the rest of my life. I think. There
Speaker 1: you go. And uh, I've read somewhere where you went
Speaker 1: through selection. You were pretty young twenty four years old?
Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yeah? I was either yeah, so twenty
Speaker 1: four and uh you know rubbery nothing hurt and yet
Speaker 1: on me. So I was pretty fit and uh, unstoppable
Speaker 1: at that age. I mean, I know that's why they
Speaker 1: get them at a decent age. I gets kids when
Speaker 1: we're with us, kids to get their kids when they're
Speaker 1: rubbery and mallible in their minds as well. Yeah. In fact,
Speaker 1: one of my good friends we were on the same
Speaker 1: team in seventh group. I think at the time, I
Speaker 1: don't know whether that still holds. I mean, uh, he
Speaker 1: was probably the youngest guy ever to go through. He
Speaker 1: was twenty three, Earl Fillmore who ended up dying in
Speaker 1: Mogadi shoot. Yeah, yeah, did you know? I did. I
Speaker 1: was across the street and I watched it. I got
Speaker 1: I got to watch NB drug away. I looked across
Speaker 1: the street at him, and he looked at me, and
Speaker 1: we both turned and started shooting up the street. Um
Speaker 1: since as we're on our way to the first crash site,
Speaker 1: and we had just turned the corner to head north,
Speaker 1: um to go a couple more blocks to get to
Speaker 1: the crash site. And I looked at I looked at
Speaker 1: Early looked at me, and we both looked up the
Speaker 1: street and start shooting. And when I looked back, UM,
Speaker 1: thirty seconds later, maybe U two guys were dragging him away.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know, you know, I didn't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't really know at the time how bad it was,
Speaker 1: but I thought, wow, we're not invincible. I guess I
Speaker 1: better get out of the street. It was one of those.
Speaker 1: It was a wake up call for me that we
Speaker 1: weren't invincible. Yeah, Earl was one of the funniest guys
Speaker 1: I ever met, and I was, Yeah. We were on
Speaker 1: the same team in seventh group, and you know, and
Speaker 1: then he was getting ready to go to selection. He
Speaker 1: was preparing he he uh. He definitely put the time in.
Speaker 1: But we I think that whenever I think Earl, I
Speaker 1: think back. We went to language school together and and
Speaker 1: he was so funny. Our teachers used to crack up
Speaker 1: laughing to where like the other classrooms would look at
Speaker 1: us during break and they were like, what's going on
Speaker 1: in there because all they could hear was the laughter
Speaker 1: coming out of our classroom. And you know how it
Speaker 1: is in language school, you have to give presentations and
Speaker 1: and classes and stuff. And Earl did one on he
Speaker 1: Man and Masters of the Universe cartoon where he was
Speaker 1: showing clips of it and they had I guess they
Speaker 1: had it on one of the Spanish language uh television shows,
Speaker 1: and oh my god, he and he gave this whole
Speaker 1: thing where everyone was literally almost on the floor crying, laughing,
Speaker 1: including our teachers who just they were like, you know,
Speaker 1: you have to give this again. So they brought the
Speaker 1: director of the school in and Earl gave this you know,
Speaker 1: this whole he man Masters of the Universe. Um, I
Speaker 1: guess dissertation in Spanish and it was so funny and
Speaker 1: everyone just cracked up laughing. And that was whenever I
Speaker 1: think Earl. I still am. I in contact with his
Speaker 1: older sisters live in Pennsylvania. But that's what I always
Speaker 1: think of with him. It was always one prank after
Speaker 1: the other. If I wasn't inflating a zodiac boat with
Speaker 1: a full sized mannequin with a paddle in it inside
Speaker 1: their team room where they couldn't open the door, somebody
Speaker 1: stuff in bacon in your coffee or something. It was
Speaker 1: always something yeah, and that's it. I mean, And I
Speaker 1: remember another I'm getting off top of you. But he uh,
Speaker 1: he got tasked. Uh. We were in a support cycle
Speaker 1: or whatever coming back from a deployment somewhere and and
Speaker 1: they said, oh, we need a medic. So they took
Speaker 1: Earle and we were like, oh, you got dick. You're
Speaker 1: going somewhere and probably awful. And then it turns out
Speaker 1: he went to an outward bound school down in Patagonia someplace,
Speaker 1: and it was all female English school teachers and then
Speaker 1: earls sending us all back pictures of these He's school
Speaker 1: teachers and he's like, yeah, there's only you know, the
Speaker 1: head instructor and assistant instructor in me the medic and
Speaker 1: all these girls there, and so yeah, it wasn't that
Speaker 1: bad after all. I was roughing it. Yeah, he was roughing.
Speaker 1: So so you did a bunch of combat deployments. Obviously
Speaker 1: you were in Mogadishu. Um, I assume you went to
Speaker 1: Iran and Iraq excuse me, Iraq in Afghanistan quite a
Speaker 1: few times more than I like. Um, honestly, in a
Speaker 1: unit like that, there was places. I mean, I've gone
Speaker 1: around the world in places I forgot about until you know, recently,
Speaker 1: and I'll be telling stories I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I forgot I was there. Um. It literally happened so
Speaker 1: often and so a matter of fact, it was so
Speaker 1: used to it that it doesn't stick in your brain
Speaker 1: as much anymore. I literally it was just every day
Speaker 1: activity to go to some other country and do something
Speaker 1: else and then come on and you know, I've had
Speaker 1: things happen to me. And part of it's in the book,
Speaker 1: I'm down in baron Kia, Columbie. You know, guys, sticks
Speaker 1: a rival in my mouth as we're trying to drive,
Speaker 1: you know, and just we're just out for a drive
Speaker 1: and you know, and I got a gun stuck in
Speaker 1: in my mouth. And it's it's wow, how lucky you know,
Speaker 1: to be part of situations like that over and over
Speaker 1: again and you forget so many of them. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: we were I'm sorry, go ahead, Jen, Sorry, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like, you know, make a sandwich, catch the
Speaker 1: umb make another sandwich. Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna ask you, Tom,
Speaker 1: were you part of the task force that was going
Speaker 1: after um Pablo Escobar? No, Um, we were doing some
Speaker 1: stuff down there, and and that's one of the things
Speaker 1: I don't really talk about anyway, um, just because they
Speaker 1: got long memories. But I mean, there's been so many
Speaker 1: people involved in things like that down there that that's
Speaker 1: one of the things I don't even dive into that.
Speaker 1: Just to keep my family from wearing no seaman shoes
Speaker 1: at the bottom of the river. Yeah, I know that's
Speaker 1: quite alright because I was down there during that time
Speaker 1: as well, so we might again, we might have passed
Speaker 1: each other in somewhere. You know, you bumping to Joe much.
Speaker 1: What's that? Do you know? Joe Vega? No, I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was. He was doing a lot of stuff down
Speaker 1: there as well. He's uh. Um, we were down there
Speaker 1: running around doing some stuff. Bute was our year to
Speaker 1: focus on Somalia. I guess we got pulled back. Um.
Speaker 1: I was down there with some guys and and in
Speaker 1: Bogata and Baron Kia and Tracey Skeness and Tolamda. So
Speaker 1: I mean we were all in the same stomping grounds
Speaker 1: for sure. Oh yeah, absolutely so. Um. We have to
Speaker 1: just take a quick I have to read a commercial
Speaker 1: break for one of our sponsors for about thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: and then we'll be right back. I want to ask
Speaker 1: you about something that it has to do with that.
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Speaker 1: we're back here on the podcast with Tom and Jen Satalie. We're,
Speaker 1: you know, glossing over a little bit of Tom's military career.
Speaker 1: And obviously you've been a lot of places, You've gone
Speaker 1: through a lot of different things. And one of the
Speaker 1: things that just I have to ask, did ever in
Speaker 1: your wildest nightmare, I guess, did you ever consider that
Speaker 1: the biggest battle you would ever fight would be perhaps
Speaker 1: in your own head? No? Um never. I literally laughed
Speaker 1: at that idea. I thought that was ridiculous that warriors
Speaker 1: um needed help? Right, we help other people, and I
Speaker 1: mean we that's what that's what we've dedicated our lives
Speaker 1: to We'll go around the world helping people to hate
Speaker 1: us or love us for a month, and then hate
Speaker 1: us a month later because we're still there, or we
Speaker 1: didn't turn on the water quick enough. But you know,
Speaker 1: and then you come home and you don't feel loved
Speaker 1: because what people think you do, or the version of
Speaker 1: what Hollywood says the soldier is, is what most civilians think.
Speaker 1: And so you you you have this feeling of not belonging,
Speaker 1: being out of a tribe on acceptance. You know. It's
Speaker 1: just it's just one of those things that I try
Speaker 1: to teach people that we never take care of ourselves.
Speaker 1: And if you look at the numbers of you know,
Speaker 1: let's say, or sixty five thousand, and I asked, guys,
Speaker 1: when we talk all the time, what are the differences
Speaker 1: of those numbers. I tell one suicide and once combat
Speaker 1: related death in the same time period, And sadly, it's
Speaker 1: sixty five thousand plus some suicides by our own hand
Speaker 1: in the same time period that we have fifty combat
Speaker 1: related deaths. I said, Now, you tell me who the
Speaker 1: greatest threat to U S Service members are. It's ourselves
Speaker 1: and our inability to deal with our emotions. You know,
Speaker 1: and I, for one, did not believe any of that
Speaker 1: all along the way until you know, I became one
Speaker 1: of those people. I was almost one of those statistics.
Speaker 1: And I know that I read about that where you
Speaker 1: were almost suicidal yourself and it was a phone call
Speaker 1: from Jen that brought you back. Yeah. I was more
Speaker 1: than suicidal. I was probably had suicidal ideation every day.
Speaker 1: How many times today I couldn't count um and I
Speaker 1: you know, I had the gun in my hand, the
Speaker 1: bullet the chamber and it cleared out the car. And
Speaker 1: Jen's incessant behavior of of not leaving me alone and
Speaker 1: and knowing me before she even knew me, just paying
Speaker 1: attention to me as a human being. She caught something
Speaker 1: that two of my close friends had missed because they're
Speaker 1: in the same bowl of soup with me suffering just
Speaker 1: as much. And she noticed that prince you know, one
Speaker 1: day in me and basically not basically stopped me from
Speaker 1: taking my own life. And that's when I realized how
Speaker 1: low I had gotten and how easy it was to
Speaker 1: help somebody. And Jen, you know, I want to touch
Speaker 1: on this. I mean, did you see changes in his
Speaker 1: you know, our appearance wasn't just something you felt or
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, activity related where things were changing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been asked a lot like how how
Speaker 1: did you know that he was going to do that?
Speaker 1: And I didn't know. I if I did, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have left the car. I wouldn't have left him in
Speaker 1: the car. Um. I had just noticed that his behavior
Speaker 1: had shifted that day. So UM, the subtlety of him
Speaker 1: usually being very charismatic, UM being very kind of on
Speaker 1: top of things and and dedicated at work. So that
Speaker 1: day he was missing things. He wasn't quite as engaged.
Speaker 1: He was more quiet, so I could kind of tell
Speaker 1: something wasn't right. And then when he had asked or
Speaker 1: not asked, when he told us, hey, I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: a phone call, go ahead without me to me, that
Speaker 1: was like the hunt. That's a different behavior. Um, not
Speaker 1: even consciously, I don't think, but subconsciously Tom always walked,
Speaker 1: UM helped me into you know, the hotel or facility
Speaker 1: wherever we were, because I always had a ton of
Speaker 1: camera gear, and so he had always walked in with
Speaker 1: us as a group. And that was different too, just
Speaker 1: him saying, Hey, I'm going to stand stay behind and
Speaker 1: make a phone call, and I'm thinking he's going into
Speaker 1: his own hotel room by himself. Why does he need
Speaker 1: to sit out in the car and make a phone call.
Speaker 1: It just seemed odd, Um, different behaviors. So yeah, that's
Speaker 1: when I started texting him um. And then when he
Speaker 1: wasn't responding, that's when I kind of got a little
Speaker 1: nervous and basically was like, hey, you're late. You know
Speaker 1: where are you? Um? And that's what snapped him into
Speaker 1: back to military mode. She knew I did not like
Speaker 1: to be late to us something that got me moving.
Speaker 1: I mean, she used her brain, she knew her used
Speaker 1: her awareness and used something that she knew would get
Speaker 1: me moving because she studied me enough though we'd only
Speaker 1: known each other about a month or so, she studied
Speaker 1: me more so than my friends and knew what would
Speaker 1: get me moving. And those are the kids we kind
Speaker 1: of teach people, you know, to help others out with.
Speaker 1: So this was very early in your relationships, and this
Speaker 1: this is what you guys weren't together for a long time. No.
Speaker 1: I barely knew her, She barely knew me. She just
Speaker 1: we worked together. Um, we're becoming friends, and she was
Speaker 1: just more aware, you know, mother friends are just away,
Speaker 1: let's go get a drawing. Okay, hey, let's just go work.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go party, let's go work. And I
Speaker 1: mean that was life right they were, they were with me, um,
Speaker 1: so did them. They were on their way to party.
Speaker 1: And you know who was I to slow them down? Yeah? Guy,
Speaker 1: we don't like I mean we all say, oh, we
Speaker 1: need to be more aware of it, but we don't
Speaker 1: like talking about our own problems. No, no, we It
Speaker 1: was a perception of weakness versus courage to scare your problem,
Speaker 1: how you got better, which is courageous. People think, oh,
Speaker 1: it's weakness because you need help, versus oh, you're courageous,
Speaker 1: you asked for help. So we're trying to break that stigma,
Speaker 1: smashed through that and and show everybody that it is
Speaker 1: very courageous to admit that you need work on something.
Speaker 1: Just like I go to the gym to get bigger muscles,
Speaker 1: or I go to the range to get better shooting.
Speaker 1: I go and get mental health so my brain is better.
Speaker 1: I go help my relationship. It's all the same to me.
Speaker 1: Now I gave you I'm doing in the midst of
Speaker 1: the same thing. And it's not an easy process. That's
Speaker 1: for sure. It takes a long time, but it's it's
Speaker 1: a process and at least we're moving in the right direction, right.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and that's what it's all about, is getting
Speaker 1: better all the time, just like in the military, you know,
Speaker 1: like you said, going through training. I mean, the whole
Speaker 1: purpose of it is to keep getting better. So and yeah,
Speaker 1: So with Jen, I mean, how did you, I mean,
Speaker 1: did you realize after the fact that this was a
Speaker 1: crisis moment or did he open up and you know,
Speaker 1: to you about what was going on. You know, it
Speaker 1: was a few months before he said anything to me,
Speaker 1: And when he told me, it was so out of
Speaker 1: the blue that it wasn't it one of those like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't believe you it was, are you sure? Wait
Speaker 1: what happened that day? You know it It was a surprise,
Speaker 1: But it wasn't a surprise because I started to get
Speaker 1: to know Tom better. In the mask that he wore
Speaker 1: for his friends and his brothers and co workers. I
Speaker 1: started to see a very different side of him. Um,
Speaker 1: and so I started basically like googling the symptoms versus
Speaker 1: like I had never heard of PTSD. I didn't think, oh,
Speaker 1: Tom has PTSD. I was like, man, he's got some
Speaker 1: serious anger issues, like he gets angry fast or or
Speaker 1: you know, he might have a drinking problem here because
Speaker 1: you know I drinking the bar dry. And so I
Speaker 1: started googling the symptoms of PTSD and it really wasn't
Speaker 1: until um, Tom saw a guy about anger management and
Speaker 1: he's like, you don't have anger management issues? You know
Speaker 1: you did? You know it's not it's stemming from post
Speaker 1: traumatic stress. And and so is the drinking. You know,
Speaker 1: you're not an alcoholic, you're a problem drinking. You're solving
Speaker 1: in your self medicating. You think you're solving, but yourself medicating. Um.
Speaker 1: So that's when we were able to start getting to
Speaker 1: work once we had a name for it, you know,
Speaker 1: once we kind of understood, oh, this is this is
Speaker 1: part of it. UM made it. I don't want to
Speaker 1: stay easier. Well yeah, yeah, it's sort of like, okay,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Now we can get to work
Speaker 1: and getting to work for Tom, it's been the last
Speaker 1: five six years. So Tom, did you notice, um? And
Speaker 1: I know everyone's different when it comes to you know, PTSD,
Speaker 1: and in their own experiences that did you notice Um
Speaker 1: that it was more during your transition time that you
Speaker 1: were feeling like this or was it even when you
Speaker 1: were still in the unit. I think it's during the
Speaker 1: transition time, I think when you're When I was in
Speaker 1: the unit, I still felt part of it. I still
Speaker 1: felt part of the team. I knew what was going on.
Speaker 1: I was going to work every day, like kept turning green.
Speaker 1: I'm not happy about that. Um. And even part of
Speaker 1: my transition when I got out and I lived in
Speaker 1: I'm on Jordan for two years. I had a team
Speaker 1: of ten s F guys that I hired that we're
Speaker 1: working for me. So it was like being in the
Speaker 1: military still only better living conditions, more money, more off time.
Speaker 1: And oh, by the way, I'm gone for four months,
Speaker 1: home for two weeks, gone for four months, home for
Speaker 1: two weeks, so similar lifestyle, you know, at home for
Speaker 1: the for the family as well. And and when that
Speaker 1: dried up, that's when it all came crashing down. I mean,
Speaker 1: when I ran out of things to do, when I
Speaker 1: ran out of a mission, when I didn't have a tribe,
Speaker 1: that's when I started feeling isolated and lonely, um disconnected,
Speaker 1: and I mean I just started withdrawing into myself and
Speaker 1: then it got harder and harder to go visit friends,
Speaker 1: It got harder, harder call friends, and at that time
Speaker 1: had passed so much it was more difficult, you know.
Speaker 1: And now I looked back and I realized, Wow, I
Speaker 1: just did it all to myself. I literally I was
Speaker 1: punching myself, I guess, and for my lifestyle choices. And
Speaker 1: that's that's when it tanked. Um had I gotten out
Speaker 1: and not had a job right away, would have happened
Speaker 1: right away. You know. It's when when you're removed from
Speaker 1: that operating those operating conditions that you're used to and
Speaker 1: and life changes, you realize it's going on without you.
Speaker 1: You better make your way or or you're just gonna
Speaker 1: get left behind. And I laid there, and I think
Speaker 1: I was getting left behind for a couple of years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that you You definitely had PTS when you
Speaker 1: were in service, just based on the reckless behavior and
Speaker 1: the drinking and the anger issues and you know, all
Speaker 1: the things that we talked to the young guys about now.
Speaker 1: But you the suicidal part, the scary part, really didn't
Speaker 1: come until you had that time. Doubt, too much time thinking,
Speaker 1: you know, too much quiet time. And I believe I
Speaker 1: developed it in Samalia when I thought I was going
Speaker 1: to die and I had no chance, and I'd given
Speaker 1: up hope and life and I lived. I lived through that,
Speaker 1: but I lost empathy and compassion along the way. All
Speaker 1: I wanted to do was train harder and be better
Speaker 1: at my job. That was it, so it would never
Speaker 1: happen again. And everything else had to go away for that.
Speaker 1: Everything in my life went away except my job so
Speaker 1: I could be that good at my job. And we
Speaker 1: talked to people who are professional athletes, CEOs of organizations,
Speaker 1: anybody who dedicates their hours to be good at their
Speaker 1: crafts and their job, whatever it is, something else has
Speaker 1: to give, right and that's typically our families absolutely. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, I used to cover the NFL and talked
Speaker 1: to pro football players. And when you reach that pinnacle,
Speaker 1: just like you know, like you were in in Delta.
Speaker 1: I mean, to reach that pinnacle, you have to dedicate
Speaker 1: your entire life. Everything comes second to that. You have
Speaker 1: to dedicate yourself. It's the same thing, and their mindset
Speaker 1: is very similar. Now. Granted, if if they fumble the
Speaker 1: football or throw an interception, uh, they they've come back
Speaker 1: next week and they start with a clean slate. You know,
Speaker 1: we're guys in the unit. If somebody makes a mistake,
Speaker 1: somebody that might not come home. So it's it's different,
Speaker 1: but a lot of the mindset is the exact same
Speaker 1: in that And I think part of that part of
Speaker 1: the issue, like you talked about, when you get out
Speaker 1: is you don't have that camaraderie anymore. You don't have
Speaker 1: that sense of belonging and you don't have that sense
Speaker 1: of I'm doing something important right, you know, and when
Speaker 1: you're in, like if you're that lowly football player or
Speaker 1: that lowly operator who just runs around all you have
Speaker 1: to worry about yourself. They're always saying team right. The
Speaker 1: team means you do your job for the team and
Speaker 1: the team can operate properly. So the football players doing
Speaker 1: their job, they fumble, it's fumbling it, but you know
Speaker 1: we picked it back up or something. But the same
Speaker 1: thing with a younger operator. What I noticed the changes
Speaker 1: or when other souls that you can response before or
Speaker 1: say the coach of a team, he gets in trouble
Speaker 1: when everybody fumbles, you know, anybody felt with someone's looking
Speaker 1: at that guy, you know, like, hey, why are you froming?
Speaker 1: You know? The coach or the owner or something. And
Speaker 1: when you have those people under your responsibility, I think
Speaker 1: it takes more of a toll on people. Absolutely. You
Speaker 1: always talk about how the leadership was the toughest for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean running around of breaking things and shooting people.
Speaker 1: That's easy, that's that's Samoya. For me, it was. It
Speaker 1: was devastating, but easy. Now go to Iraq. It wasn't
Speaker 1: as devastating to me. Um, you know, there was some
Speaker 1: some hot, fiery missions in Iraq for sure, but um,
Speaker 1: to me it was harder because I had thirty people
Speaker 1: underneath me, you know, our thirty sixty ten thousand at
Speaker 1: one point, you know underneath it you're responsible for that. Wow,
Speaker 1: they're everywhere. You can't I mean mentally, you know, I
Speaker 1: cannot be respon honstable. Actually for every individual person that
Speaker 1: you are, you still think you are, and that any
Speaker 1: loss of life affects you along the way more so
Speaker 1: than I think the loss of my own life would
Speaker 1: have affected me. Sure, And that's part of being an
Speaker 1: effective and a good leader is you have to have
Speaker 1: that empathy for your the troops under your command, because
Speaker 1: if you don't have that, then you're not going to
Speaker 1: be an effective leader and the troops will you know,
Speaker 1: the the other operators that work for you, they're going
Speaker 1: to know that right off the bat, absolutely, you know. So,
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's gotta be tough. So, yeah, I
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you. You know, I know that we're
Speaker 1: all still learning about this. This is still I mean
Speaker 1: we're probably in our infancy stages. But how do you
Speaker 1: feel like the treatment or lack of treatment is coming
Speaker 1: along now, you know, for veterans and for our warriors
Speaker 1: that are out there. Yeah, I look at ericas, I'm like,
Speaker 1: she should get answer so much better. I think it's
Speaker 1: coming at I think it's like everything else. You know,
Speaker 1: it's um like prosthetic limbs. We don't have a big
Speaker 1: boost or growth for prosthetic limbs unless we have a
Speaker 1: big war. And now we've been a war for twin years.
Speaker 1: Prosthetic limbs of jumps leaps and bounds because of demand, right,
Speaker 1: And the same thing with Pete. You get away from
Speaker 1: a war, people are suffering. That's not a big deal.
Speaker 1: Well it's not a big deal. It's not in your
Speaker 1: face every day. You know, we're still a war. It's
Speaker 1: it's been quite a long time. And people are still overseas,
Speaker 1: and so we're still seeing things at least I am,
Speaker 1: and and you know, I'm tapped into that part of
Speaker 1: the world a little bit. Maybe. I know our kids
Speaker 1: asked questions like, are we still a war somewhere? I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you kidding me? UM? So Savans are forgetting about it,
Speaker 1: and I think that breeds frustration, But I know that
Speaker 1: there's been a demand for it. Oh yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: it's not as easy to turn your blind eye to
Speaker 1: it anymore when the numbers are coming out and Special
Speaker 1: Operations has had UH in their active duty. Suicide rates
Speaker 1: have tripled every year. So it's not something that's like, Man,
Speaker 1: that's that's happening to the veteran population. It's not happening
Speaker 1: directly in our command. UM. And as bad as it
Speaker 1: is out there, I can't affect that change. But what
Speaker 1: I'm seeing, and what Tom and I are seeing that
Speaker 1: is really hopeful, is that leadership UM really is taking
Speaker 1: it seriously. UM. Tom and I go to Fort Bragg
Speaker 1: and speak all the time, and last November ish we
Speaker 1: spoke to the X ray program. I think there was
Speaker 1: maybe seventy five guys in the room. One female. She
Speaker 1: had just passed green Brat selections. The next time we
Speaker 1: go and speak, so that was November. We come back
Speaker 1: in February talk to the new class, and the whole
Speaker 1: rooms fall. We're like, oh, good, okay, people are receptive
Speaker 1: to hearing this message. We just want back a week
Speaker 1: ago and they Colonel Ferris was like, hey, we're gonna
Speaker 1: put you in the auditorium. It was completely full with
Speaker 1: two hundred people waiting outside. To me, that shows growth
Speaker 1: in a very short time that these warriors UM want
Speaker 1: to hear the message. They need to hear the message.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you the saddest thing that we saw
Speaker 1: was in a room of five six hundred UM young
Speaker 1: men when we asked them how many people either lost
Speaker 1: a friend UM or someone close to them from suicide?
Speaker 1: In every single hand, almost one up in that room.
Speaker 1: And when you look around that room, that's not the same.
Speaker 1: If you're asking a room full of five accountants, you
Speaker 1: know how many of how many people in your group
Speaker 1: have committed suicide? You get a few hands, not the
Speaker 1: entire room. So UM, I'm encouraged by the leadership that
Speaker 1: we've met that are like, hey, we've got an issue
Speaker 1: we've got a problem. We need to talk about this.
Speaker 1: They're not listening to us, so we're going to bring in,
Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna bring you guys in to deliver
Speaker 1: the tough message and maybe they'll hear it. Um. But
Speaker 1: every time we get tons of messages after a lot
Speaker 1: of childhood trauma, we see um in warriors that has
Speaker 1: never been dealt with. So then there's trauma on top
Speaker 1: of trauma. You know, in the new generation coming out
Speaker 1: are a bit more in touch with their emotions and
Speaker 1: feelings and the reality of dealing with him as well.
Speaker 1: They're more open to it. So on one hand, you
Speaker 1: get people complaining, oh, these kids nowadays aren't men anymore.
Speaker 1: You know. On the other side, they're also more in
Speaker 1: touch with their feelings and they know they need to
Speaker 1: work on us. So these warriors that are coming through,
Speaker 1: I mean there, I'm not I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: the guy who says I was in the last hard class.
Speaker 1: They're just as capable and able as we ever work.
Speaker 1: And yet they're more aware of their brain and their
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings and how that how that affects a
Speaker 1: little bit a little bit, a little bit more. You
Speaker 1: hear that you know needs some work, but who doesn't.
Speaker 1: And again, it's a process. I mean, we're we're just
Speaker 1: starting this, and I'm glad to hear that the command
Speaker 1: is taking it serious because you know, we always hear
Speaker 1: these horror stories. You know, if if a guy goes
Speaker 1: to therapy, he's going to lose his security clearance. And
Speaker 1: I forget who I talked to. It wasn't that long ago,
Speaker 1: and it was a senior officer, I believe, and he said,
Speaker 1: you know, that's not really true. We were he said,
Speaker 1: I don't know of anyone who has lost his clearance
Speaker 1: because they sought out help. So I don't know where
Speaker 1: we're where we're at with that, but you know that's
Speaker 1: the obviously the worry. We talked about the exact same thing.
Speaker 1: It's never been true. It's a story we told ourselves
Speaker 1: just so we wouldn't have to approach that issue. And
Speaker 1: in fact, it's a great opportunity. When we're done speaking
Speaker 1: is most often the command comes to the front of
Speaker 1: the room. Last time we had a great mto who
Speaker 1: stood up and you know, delivered it just like Tom
Speaker 1: Wood's kind of funny, but you know, it's that kind
Speaker 1: of no crap. This is the truth, this is the reality.
Speaker 1: Nobody's in trouble, nobody's going to have anything taken away.
Speaker 1: You know, we've never said that, We'll never say that.
Speaker 1: Calm and get help, you know. And I mean we
Speaker 1: have heard stories. We get phone calls from you know,
Speaker 1: guys and gals who are having still a tough time
Speaker 1: that they've asked for help and they've been shunned or
Speaker 1: they've been punished for it. Um. So it's still happening,
Speaker 1: of course, um. But and then there's stories of guys
Speaker 1: who asked for help and wouldn't get help when they
Speaker 1: end up quitting and two people on the team killed
Speaker 1: themselves because of that leadership. So we're telling the stories
Speaker 1: of leadership matters, and it's always mattered. But your yes
Speaker 1: or no answers can save a live or not to
Speaker 1: save a lot. Hm. You know that's it's it's sad
Speaker 1: because I know that. Excuse me that, you know, perceptions
Speaker 1: have changed. And I was talking with a girl about
Speaker 1: a month and a half ago. She runs a small
Speaker 1: foundation now herself. Her father was a Vietnam veteran fought
Speaker 1: with the hundred and first Airborne, did a couple of
Speaker 1: tours in Vietnam was a disable and you know, he
Speaker 1: had been through a lot of different things and saw
Speaker 1: different things. And when he came home, he listened to
Speaker 1: his family, went to the v A, and the doctors
Speaker 1: that he went to talk to told him to suck
Speaker 1: it up and to get on with his life. And
Speaker 1: it's yeah, and he ended up basically drinking himself to
Speaker 1: death over a period of many years. But it's um,
Speaker 1: it's nice to see that things are changing. At least
Speaker 1: we're pointing in the right direction. And now I wanted
Speaker 1: to ask you how did you come about creating the
Speaker 1: All Secure Foundation? What what eventually made you decide to
Speaker 1: do this, and how did you go about it? Because
Speaker 1: you know, again speaking from my own personal I'm losing
Speaker 1: my voice here. Um, I wouldn't even know the first
Speaker 1: thing about creating a foundation and how to go about it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I said when my wife, quote unquote,
Speaker 1: when when Jen worked with us doing filming with Special
Speaker 1: Operations Seals and Rangers and Green Brace for a couple
Speaker 1: of years, she the guy stopped returning. You know, they
Speaker 1: we were the last people that they would see before
Speaker 1: they deployed overseas. So we would give them all the
Speaker 1: scenarios of suicide bests and bombs and crowds and language speakers,
Speaker 1: and she would video it and catch them in all
Speaker 1: their you know, mishaps, and guys weren't returning for the
Speaker 1: next training cycle from overseas, and and she being more
Speaker 1: empathetic and compassionate than I at the time that I
Speaker 1: can't do this job and where I can't train people
Speaker 1: to go to war. It was exciting for a couple
Speaker 1: of three years, but we need to get them on
Speaker 1: the other end of it. We need to help them
Speaker 1: on the other side. Because she spoke all those years
Speaker 1: to operators while waiting on these hits to go down,
Speaker 1: about their problems and their issues and their troubles, and
Speaker 1: then these guys are dying overseas. She couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: She's like, we need to start a nonprofit to help
Speaker 1: And I said, I have no idea what you're talking
Speaker 1: about or what the hell we would do, and she
Speaker 1: just got to work. Um, I kept you know, she
Speaker 1: quit that job. She got to work studying. She went
Speaker 1: to school to become a health coach and started diving
Speaker 1: into the internet to figure out what to do, and
Speaker 1: and and enlisted an army of volunteers with lawyers that
Speaker 1: help start incorporating and filing paperwork. And you know, I
Speaker 1: just kept working so we could pay the bills and eat.
Speaker 1: And then finally Um built this organization up and then
Speaker 1: brought me in as well to where I could go
Speaker 1: full time and we can do this, you know, as
Speaker 1: our job every day now. And it was out of
Speaker 1: her compassion and love and her seeing the need PHIL
Speaker 1: avoid that was there. That's awesome because again, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, when I hear about guys who start this
Speaker 1: stuff and UM, I always wonder how they go about it,
Speaker 1: because I would be totally lost. And now I know
Speaker 1: that we need to have somebody like Jen that's in
Speaker 1: the background there. Right. She's a hero in my book.
Speaker 1: She's the hero of the foundation. I'm just the pretty
Speaker 1: faith I guess she's prettier, so I don't win on
Speaker 1: that one either. To get off off topic for just
Speaker 1: a second, Jen, how did you get up? I know
Speaker 1: I read you know, part of the story there where
Speaker 1: you were a filmmaker, you know, with SF and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, Navy seals and whatnot and guys who are
Speaker 1: getting ready to deploy. How did you come about that job. Well,
Speaker 1: that's funny because they spend no. Three times to the jobs.
Speaker 1: Because I just didn't feel like I was a good fit,
Speaker 1: you know. I at that time, I was doing UM
Speaker 1: a lot of TV commercials, UM film fashion. I worked
Speaker 1: with Jack Daniels and Miller Brewing companies. So I came
Speaker 1: from the traditional film UM an advertising world. A former
Speaker 1: ranger UM who I had done some projects with, said hey, UM,
Speaker 1: I want you to come and be camera on this
Speaker 1: exercise and I said, I don't know anything about special
Speaker 1: operations or military. My dad was in, he was out
Speaker 1: before I was born. My brother got in when I
Speaker 1: was about ten, and you know, I haven't seen him since,
Speaker 1: so I, uh, I don't know anything about it. And
Speaker 1: he you know, so the third time he's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta have you come on the shoot.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not going. He goes, I already told
Speaker 1: him you're coming, You're coming, and then you don't never
Speaker 1: have to go again if you don't like it. And
Speaker 1: then I ended up, of course, absolutely blown away on
Speaker 1: the first exercise UM. And I wanted to be a
Speaker 1: national and geographic photographer forever. So for me, I was like, oh, crap,
Speaker 1: this is my this is my experience like that, you know,
Speaker 1: and and getting to ride in black Hawks and Chinooks
Speaker 1: and seeing explosions and spending weeks on it, you know,
Speaker 1: and embedding with these guys. Um. Really, I didn't understand
Speaker 1: why I was there until until the foundation came about,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I get it. I understand
Speaker 1: why I spent those years doing what I did, because
Speaker 1: there's no way I could be able to help the
Speaker 1: way that I can now without seeing and experiencing. I
Speaker 1: think what I saw for sure his helps. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I loved it. That's that's really interesting because I know
Speaker 1: that's your background and that then that's where you met Tom,
Speaker 1: because obviously you guys met through that and you started
Speaker 1: the foundation. UM, tell our listeners a little bit about
Speaker 1: some of the programs that you foundation does and how
Speaker 1: you know they can go about getting some resources if
Speaker 1: they need it, which I'm sure many guys do. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: So All Secure Foundation we started as a resource library.
Speaker 1: We still are so if you go to all Secure
Speaker 1: foundation dot org you'll find other vetted nonprofits, books, podcast um,
Speaker 1: all the kind of information and we continue to update
Speaker 1: it regularly that we can on the subject and it
Speaker 1: could be anything from transitioning UM to issues with anger
Speaker 1: in the home, to how to reconnect with your kid
Speaker 1: post deployment. I really wanted to kind of take some
Speaker 1: of the information that I had spent and make it
Speaker 1: easier for people to kind of find it in one spot.
Speaker 1: We UM. We hold Special Operation Couples retreats. Those are
Speaker 1: four day workshops UM and really these aren't power point.
Speaker 1: People get scared because they're like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: go on those. Then they come on them, they're like,
Speaker 1: that's amazing, because what we do is it's kind of
Speaker 1: like hiding the piece in the brownies. Like you're skeet
Speaker 1: shooting or your boating or you're hiking UM and you're
Speaker 1: doing these things with your spouse. But before you do that,
Speaker 1: Stacy's going to train you on some ways to maybe
Speaker 1: fight fairly or talk when it's uncomfortable to talk. And
Speaker 1: then you're gonna go out and practice that, come back
Speaker 1: to the group, and Stacy's gonna work with you. So
Speaker 1: in four days, you're gonna get a lot of communication tools.
Speaker 1: You're gonna kind of scratch open some scars, but we've
Speaker 1: got somebody there to kind of catch you in that
Speaker 1: process UM. So we have several of those throughout the year.
Speaker 1: Tom and I speak UM at basis and post around
Speaker 1: the country UM, talking PTS, resiliency, talking with family, ready
Speaker 1: miss groups, talking with spouses, what to look for, how
Speaker 1: do identify UM. And then we have an online course
Speaker 1: that's launching here a pretty soon in the next few months,
Speaker 1: so that you can get that experience at home. And
Speaker 1: so yeah, we we've kind of are looking at developing
Speaker 1: further programs kind of see where COVID goes, but UM
Speaker 1: in this coming year. But we do have some programs
Speaker 1: that hopefully we can kick back off here in the spring.
Speaker 1: That's great. And you know, the first page on your website,
Speaker 1: I loved it because it says they all secure Foundation
Speaker 1: retrains your brain from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the big thing, isn't it is
Speaker 1: getting your head retrained, you know, to function in the
Speaker 1: here and now. And you know, excuse me, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happening in my voice here this afternoon, but Tom,
Speaker 1: back to you here. You know, with the foundation, you
Speaker 1: you said, you guys travel around, you visit the basis.
Speaker 1: How do you feel the guy sir, are you know,
Speaker 1: reacting to your story? I think I think they like
Speaker 1: the reality of it. I think they like that it's
Speaker 1: not somebody teaching them the the university level from a
Speaker 1: book kind of thing about here's your brain drugs, you know,
Speaker 1: and here's this, and that. It's kind of like no
Speaker 1: ship there. I was screwing my life up sitting there
Speaker 1: just like you are, thinking I know everything, and I'm
Speaker 1: full of testosterone. I just want to go out and
Speaker 1: do my thing, you know. And I know you might
Speaker 1: not be listening to us, but if we say it
Speaker 1: enough one day, when you get to this point, and
Speaker 1: you will, you'll say, I've heard this before, I've seen
Speaker 1: this before. I can recall this, you know. I want
Speaker 1: to make it part of their pre combat checks. I
Speaker 1: want to make a part of their training. I want
Speaker 1: to make a part of their train ups. Um, how
Speaker 1: to manage stress, how to manage the things you're gonna see,
Speaker 1: and how to and why it's okay to talk about
Speaker 1: things that bother you, and why it's normal that your
Speaker 1: friend getting blown up in front of you isn't okay.
Speaker 1: It's not normal, and it's it's going to affect you.
Speaker 1: You know. The fact that getting these guys to admit
Speaker 1: that emotions are normal and real and that you're gonna
Speaker 1: and that you need to practice on managing those emotions
Speaker 1: that I think they're taking the way that we're giving
Speaker 1: it to them, Well, yeah, it's it's it's a no
Speaker 1: crap approach to Hey, you're not you're gonna fight with
Speaker 1: your wife. I fight with my wife a lot. She
Speaker 1: goes toe to toe with me. Man, She's tougher than
Speaker 1: the dudes I've worked with, and she goes toe to
Speaker 1: toe with me. But we've also made rules now about
Speaker 1: how we fight. You know, nobody, nobody makes rules about fighting.
Speaker 1: Why would you make rules about fighting with your wife.
Speaker 1: You make rules about everything else in the planet. You
Speaker 1: make rules to stay within the boundaries, so you don't
Speaker 1: go outside those boundaries, and you will when you're fighting.
Speaker 1: We can talk about what you're fighting for. All the
Speaker 1: awareness of you know, if you're trying to be right
Speaker 1: in your spouse, is trying to be right your relationships losing.
Speaker 1: So let's reconsider what doing when we fight. So I
Speaker 1: want them to open up their brains and think about
Speaker 1: things like that. And they are the way that we're
Speaker 1: describing it to them, and the way it's more like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's what happened to me, over and over and over again.
Speaker 1: Here's some other guys that have happened to and oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, here's another two million veterans that had
Speaker 1: happened to You're not any different, You're not that special.
Speaker 1: Stop acting like it and start listening up, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I would imagine the fact that
Speaker 1: you know, you were standing in the shoes that they're
Speaker 1: in at the present time. It gives you a little
Speaker 1: bit more you know. Um, I guess when they're they're
Speaker 1: hearing it, they're not hearing it from some medical doctor who's,
Speaker 1: like you said earlier, you know, some accountant or a
Speaker 1: doctor who's never been you know, in your shoes. You're
Speaker 1: they're hearing it from a guy you know, who's been
Speaker 1: doing the same things that they're doing. And I think
Speaker 1: that they're more apt to listen to that, you know,
Speaker 1: when you tell them, hey, this can happen to anyone,
Speaker 1: and usually does. You know. The one thing that amazes
Speaker 1: me is that, you know, I grew up my my
Speaker 1: father fought in World War Two, and all his army
Speaker 1: buddies used to come over to our house in the
Speaker 1: summer for a big barbecue once a year. And you know,
Speaker 1: I think back to those guys and what they went through,
Speaker 1: and it's amazing that all of them weren't suffering with PTS.
Speaker 1: But I mean, that's a story for another time, I guess.
Speaker 1: But I just think it's it's good that, you know,
Speaker 1: we're getting the word out there. People are taking it seriously,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, guys are are receptive to it,
Speaker 1: because that's the biggest thing is getting them to buy in,
Speaker 1: right absolutely, but they don't believe it. They won't put
Speaker 1: in the effort. You can live miserably or you can
Speaker 1: live happily. And Tom's proof of that. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think even when we went back to the unit formal
Speaker 1: two years ago, they everybody was asking me like, what
Speaker 1: did you do to Tom? You know, like, what's up
Speaker 1: with Tom? Toms so different now? And I asked him.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, what's so different about him? They're like, well,
Speaker 1: he's kind of a you know before, but he seems
Speaker 1: really happy now and he seems okay now and he's
Speaker 1: not so grumpy. And you know a lot of his
Speaker 1: friends actually kind of had a knee jerk reaction to that,
Speaker 1: like what's wrong with you versus you know, hey, you
Speaker 1: seem really happy in an okay play, You're what's wrong? Right? Right?
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean and for anyone listening, I know
Speaker 1: the holidays can be tough and challenging, and one thing
Speaker 1: that we hear a lot is I feel really alone, UM,
Speaker 1: especially for those that have transition out and just missed
Speaker 1: their tribe a lot. And I just want everyone to
Speaker 1: know that no one's alone, no one is ever alone. UM.
Speaker 1: At the very beast, you have Tom and I UM,
Speaker 1: and we're always We're always here. And the contact form
Speaker 1: on our website goes directly to my email. I read everything,
Speaker 1: UM individually. Everything is confidential. From there, we come up
Speaker 1: with a plan. We do individual counseling, we do couples counseling.
Speaker 1: So UM, just know that as tough as it might seem,
Speaker 1: or as alone as it may feel, that they're not alone.
Speaker 1: That's uh, that's the best advice I think you could give.
Speaker 1: And And again, I mean, you know, what you guys
Speaker 1: are doing, I think is fantastic and I think it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's well needed, and I'm sure it's well appreciated. I
Speaker 1: know that in your website on the resources, I mean,
Speaker 1: you list a lot of the organizations that you know.
Speaker 1: We've all reached out to it one time or another
Speaker 1: to either volunteer or to donate, and that's what it's
Speaker 1: all about. So explain to folks how they can donate
Speaker 1: to your foundation, how they can get involved, and how
Speaker 1: they can reach out to y'all. Well, the good thing
Speaker 1: about our organization is we have UM a donor who
Speaker 1: has committed to covering all of our administration fees, so
Speaker 1: a d percent of every single donation that anyone does.
Speaker 1: We uh, we have a website that accepts donations, We
Speaker 1: do PayPal, we do Facebook or other social media sites
Speaker 1: that were attached to, but of every single penny will
Speaker 1: go right back to a Warrior UM or a Warrior Family.
Speaker 1: So you know, please donate this holiday season. We've helped
Speaker 1: uh ten Warrior Family so far, just helped another three
Speaker 1: just yesterday. So again, UM really appreciate the support to
Speaker 1: We've had so many fantastic supporters and I'll tell you
Speaker 1: veteran to go out and become CEOs and do well
Speaker 1: for themselves. UM that have paid back have been very
Speaker 1: generous to owners to us as well. So, um, the
Speaker 1: five dollars means just as much to us as so
Speaker 1: that's awesome. I'm just holding the phone looking at me like, yes,
Speaker 1: that is true, that is true. I'd just like to
Speaker 1: reiterate the fact that every penny um, people are always
Speaker 1: worried about where their money goes. And and we're we're
Speaker 1: so lucky to be able to say that of everybody's
Speaker 1: pennies to go to help a word directly for their
Speaker 1: families directly. Um, and we loved out now and oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and until all our listeners and readers out there. Jen
Speaker 1: has authored a book called Arsenal of Hope and it's
Speaker 1: basically it's it's her tactics for taking on PTSD and
Speaker 1: it's basically a story about how their family uh combative
Speaker 1: post traumatic stress on the home front. And I think
Speaker 1: it's a great book for for wives and family members
Speaker 1: trying to understand what's going on with their loved ones.
Speaker 1: Tom has also written a book called All Secure, And
Speaker 1: just like in the All Secure Foundation, we encourage all
Speaker 1: of our readers and listeners to check these out that
Speaker 1: you can find them on I believe Amazon dot Com
Speaker 1: is carrying both of them. Is that correct absolutely in
Speaker 1: our website hadn't as well. And her book is for
Speaker 1: even the warrior. I read it three times pride each time.
Speaker 1: It's it's like the warriors study their enemies. It's a joke.
Speaker 1: I say this, right. My wife's like this book for
Speaker 1: the spouses, but honestly it's for the warrior's just like
Speaker 1: the spouse has read my book, like, oh, now I
Speaker 1: understand him. It's like, and now I understand her. It's
Speaker 1: like the men are from Mars women book, but it's
Speaker 1: in two it's a two book section. It's kind of
Speaker 1: give us both sides. But um words. I've had people like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not on her book, why would I pick up
Speaker 1: her book? I'm like, I don't know. Why do you
Speaker 1: study the enemy? Then you know you study things you
Speaker 1: want to You want to dominate and get better at. Right,
Speaker 1: So you don't need to dominate. You certainly want to
Speaker 1: get better at your relationship. Well, we can all get
Speaker 1: better at that. That's a fact. I mean, like I
Speaker 1: told you offline, I don't know how my wife ever
Speaker 1: put up with me for all these years. But we're
Speaker 1: still together. So God bless her, and hopefully she'll never
Speaker 1: wake up from I don't know, from whatever is ailing
Speaker 1: her to realize that she could have done a lot better.
Speaker 1: You know, we want to think, Yeah, go ahead, it's
Speaker 1: always good to marry up. That's it. I definitely did so, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know I did, no, but we we want to
Speaker 1: thank all you know, both of you guys for joining
Speaker 1: us today and uh, you know, for you guys to
Speaker 1: take the time out of Christmas time, it means a
Speaker 1: lot to us. Um, and we encourage all of our
Speaker 1: listeners out there and readers of software dot com two
Speaker 1: check out the All Secure Foundation. That's a neat tattooed
Speaker 1: by the way that you guys have. I like that,
Speaker 1: so that's pretty cool. But we encourage all of our
Speaker 1: listeners and readers to check it out, donate if you can,
Speaker 1: buy the book if you can, and check it out,
Speaker 1: and if you need help, by all means, reach out
Speaker 1: to them. Um. You know, we want to thank Tom
Speaker 1: yourself for joining us in gen This was a lot
Speaker 1: of fun for us, and you know we'll be uh
Speaker 1: monitoring stuff as it goes forward. Thank you, thanks for
Speaker 1: the opportunity. Yeah, we really appreciate it. Yeah, Oh, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that we hadn't touched upon that, you
Speaker 1: guys would like to say before we wrap this thing up,
Speaker 1: no other than I mean, I think we've covered everything,
Speaker 1: other than I think JIN touched on the fact that
Speaker 1: you're never alone out there. Um, we're probably gonna hear
Speaker 1: about it, but I would love to not hear about
Speaker 1: a suicide. I would love to not here, you know,
Speaker 1: another twenty eight suicides a day between here and New
Speaker 1: Year's or something, because we're never alone. There's always help
Speaker 1: out there, and nothing is that bad, nothing is that
Speaker 1: horrible that you can't recover from. And I just leave
Speaker 1: it with reach out to your strong friends. The one
Speaker 1: thing that you can do that has a huge impact,
Speaker 1: it's super easy, is just to touch base with somebody,
Speaker 1: um once or twice a day. Maybe just kind of
Speaker 1: make it a habit of reaching out to somebody. It
Speaker 1: could save a life. That's great advice. So with with that,
Speaker 1: we're gonna wrap things up here for software Bradio, software Bradio,
Speaker 1: on Time on target. Um. Before we go, we just
Speaker 1: have to read one more quick little note from soft
Speaker 1: rep itself. Do you want to get soft rep on
Speaker 1: your phone? Download our free mobile app to get easy
Speaker 1: acts us to our articles, podcasts, and Gary Views, all
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Speaker 1: com to get access to all our library of e
Speaker 1: books and our exclusive team reforms of content available on
Speaker 1: all your Apple and Android devices. We want to thank
Speaker 1: all of our listeners for joining us today, especially Tom
Speaker 1: and Jen. Thank you guys, God bless you for what
Speaker 1: you guys do for all of our warriors out there.
Speaker 1: We want to wish you all a merry Christmas. Merry
Speaker 1: Christmay Christmas love them. Listening to self rely