Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode What about Me Spoke nineteen edition.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pop. Yes, Kevin Pop. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: what can you try me tomorrow? At this time, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of in the middle of something, but I digress.
Speaker 1: Let's meet our chums. Shower you no particular order. Please
Speaker 1: say good morning to Gary Eye and a great morning
Speaker 1: it is. It's a great morning. If you actually saw
Speaker 1: Sam entering your home to the chimney, what would you
Speaker 1: How would you greet him if he was entering my
Speaker 1: home through the chimney? I would literally say, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: this is what I do. I've had six break ins
Speaker 1: at my home in the last weekend. Everyone's a hello,
Speaker 1: everyone's a gentle high. My hat is off to you. Hey,
Speaker 1: it's James Heeney, Jimmy John John utterly selfish wish please
Speaker 1: from you for I would really like uh to have
Speaker 1: new floors put in my apartment so that you can't
Speaker 1: hear footsteps. Is that too selfish? It's I hope that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of unbelievably sweet Agree with Chris because
Speaker 1: it's really helping your landlord. And there's Chris Alvarado, Candy Cane,
Speaker 1: Chris utterly selfish rush from you, please, utterly selfish? Would
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for? All the roles that Craig was
Speaker 1: set to book go to me. He doesn't get any
Speaker 1: of them. No, no, no, So you get to hurt
Speaker 1: one of us too. That's right. Oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: speaking of hurting one of us, um, my girlfriend peeked around.
Speaker 1: I said, look it's Gary, it's Gary Anthony Williams. And
Speaker 1: she goes cute and it's the hair. It's goddamn Barbados. Yeah. Right,
Speaker 1: Jamaica and now Craig Atkowski with his consumer report, Thank you, Kevin.
Speaker 1: America is buying more radios AM FM specifically AM and
Speaker 1: more radio stations are popping up. Let's check the safety
Speaker 1: of them. The answers may surprise you. Safety of them
Speaker 1: them and last, but too much egg nog for you
Speaker 1: if you think at least it's Joey Greer. Come catch
Speaker 1: your five thousand. Tell us why we should invest in
Speaker 1: your invention. I'll tell you why right now. Because you
Speaker 1: want to make money. You're a dumbass idiot, right, you
Speaker 1: want to make big bucks? Right? Invest right because this
Speaker 1: is where your money's gonna grow. Okay, this is a
Speaker 1: guarantee invest right. So if I don't want to be
Speaker 1: a dumbass idiot and investing, let's do a damn show.
Speaker 1: All of our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener
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Speaker 1: become a patron support of the show and enjoy exclusive
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Speaker 1: slash alchemy this is If you'd like to seb medaicine
Speaker 1: suggestion by an old timey email, then damn it right
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Just email us at your name here
Speaker 1: at alchemy this dot com. It couldn't be simpler. It's
Speaker 1: your name here. Scene one, and it's a long one
Speaker 1: comes from patroon v I P. Mike del Rosso. We've
Speaker 1: not heard from Mike and a wall and here goes
Speaker 1: hello to Kevin and the Alchemist. I would like to
Speaker 1: thank you for your December seventeenth episode. I usually catch
Speaker 1: your pod just minutes after it drops. Waking up at
Speaker 1: five am, it's the perfect amount of time to wipe
Speaker 1: the crust from my eyes, broke out of coffee, get
Speaker 1: ready to do some paperwork from the shower of the
Speaker 1: parking Lot Alchemy. This is my soundtrack. On the seventeen,
Speaker 1: I had to work at six am. I was unable
Speaker 1: to follow my tradition, and it might have saved my life.
Speaker 1: When the workday was over, I was safe at home.
Speaker 1: I pulled up the latest episode and began to listen.
Speaker 1: I can tell right away there was strange energy in
Speaker 1: the air. Now more than I lost my spot. Now,
Speaker 1: oh God, of all the ones that we bought it,
Speaker 1: now more no more than two minutes out of the pot,
Speaker 1: I was already in stitches. I have never laughed at
Speaker 1: hard during the intro to the show. Not to say
Speaker 1: the intros aren't always funny. When Kevin yells at James though,
Speaker 1: for his opening response to the routine silly question, I
Speaker 1: knew the gang was feeling feisty. There was a strange
Speaker 1: energy in the air. I am halfway through this. Something
Speaker 1: special was about to happen. I don't think I've ever
Speaker 1: laughed so hard in an episode. I've been on board
Speaker 1: since the beginning. I've heard them all three times over.
Speaker 1: I've been one of those that's had to pull over
Speaker 1: when driving for fear of crashing. Absolutely one of the
Speaker 1: best to date. The night before this episode aired. It's
Speaker 1: snow ten inches in my town. The roads were atrocious
Speaker 1: during the morning community. I swear to you, Kevin and
Speaker 1: those of you who were there during the recording. If
Speaker 1: I had been driving while listening to this episode, as
Speaker 1: I normally do, it would have been the end of
Speaker 1: my story. You were all the best who days and
Speaker 1: Thursdays my favorite days because of you. Here come the
Speaker 1: shout outs, missing Vanessa, loving the limited return, much love
Speaker 1: to Caroline Connor. You make me laugh so hard. I
Speaker 1: will donate half my paycheck if Gary Anthony Williams makes
Speaker 1: a regular appearance, well, gare that half of his paycheck
Speaker 1: right back to him because I'm giving. He followed that
Speaker 1: with love you uncle Ruckus, thank you, thank you man,
Speaker 1: and do you Kevin, You're beautiful Pastord. Thank you for
Speaker 1: bringing this group of rag and muffins into the dim
Speaker 1: light of podcasting. The truly is no equal to what
Speaker 1: you all have created. Now, will you please to one
Speaker 1: of my suggestions? And then he has a suggestion. Over
Speaker 1: a year ago, there was a scene suggestion about Batman
Speaker 1: and Robin's looking for a new apartment. James was so
Speaker 1: upset that the alchemist wouldn't recognize calendar Man as a
Speaker 1: superhero that he walked out of the session. Could you
Speaker 1: please make a little boy's dream come true? Show me
Speaker 1: calendar man? Wow? Uh? Name an occupation please? I'm a chronographer, right,
Speaker 1: you can call me Tim, all right, Tim? And your
Speaker 1: occupation is following the passage of time? Is that about it? Yes?
Speaker 1: And marking each and every holiday is special upon the calendar,
Speaker 1: every every holiday, not just in one nation, all holidays today?
Speaker 1: What's today? Well, it's December, so it's Christmas Eve Eve?
Speaker 1: Oh who celebrate? Study? Tim? Well, I do, I do?
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what. There's a couple of bodies
Speaker 1: buried in the back. I'm sure, I'm sure that there
Speaker 1: could have remember this day, couple bodies buried in the
Speaker 1: back of what sir? I can't say, you can't say,
Speaker 1: or you won't say, I won't say. Okay, here's forty
Speaker 1: dollars now, gee whiz Batman. Isn't it crazy that every
Speaker 1: year we have to reregister superheroesild? Is? It absolutely is?
Speaker 1: Robin to paperworkplace? Oh, Batman, I was in front of you. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can go, you know, you know what. It's a
Speaker 1: special day Robin, it's Christmas Eve Eve. Here you go
Speaker 1: ahead and go oh thanks, okay, everything here correct? Just
Speaker 1: the right address? I don't know. Batman fills it up. Okay, sirs,
Speaker 1: is everything correct? Your addressed is that's the correct address,
Speaker 1: wayne manor okay? Now do you have your your T
Speaker 1: four form T four it's to register the name again.
Speaker 1: If not, your name is open for anybody to take.
Speaker 1: The guy behind you could be Batman if you wanted to.
Speaker 1: If you don't have your T four forms, do we
Speaker 1: have the T four form? I didn't bring the T
Speaker 1: four form, Robin, did you bring the T four form?
Speaker 1: Holy namesake, Batman? I didn't know, boy boy wonder more
Speaker 1: like somebody give me something, somebody give me something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's pretty good. That's it. Yes, you're more
Speaker 1: of a boy blunder. How about you to check ost
Speaker 1: episode and that's the real Batman's peak. Oh, I've got
Speaker 1: a T four form. Here it is, here's Batman. Who
Speaker 1: are you? Yes, I'm nobody. Now I didn't have my
Speaker 1: TEA four bye boy, hold on, hold on now. Now
Speaker 1: he's spelling this with as two different words, bat space Man,
Speaker 1: what's the point. I'm just saying there could be a batman,
Speaker 1: and there could be a bat man. That's a right,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. I'm bad space man. Okay, I'm out of here,
Speaker 1: bye boy. Well what about me? Is Robin still available? Uh?
Speaker 1: It is? It is? But you don't have your tea
Speaker 1: four or form either. No, but one of these, one
Speaker 1: of these bad space man. Okay, can you get Can
Speaker 1: you think anybody wants Robin to be honest? Hey, little dude,
Speaker 1: you look, I don't want to think here of myself.
Speaker 1: Please you look at me. Somebody's word? Yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: all right? Putrian in my back bucket. Okay, leave it?
Speaker 1: There is it? What come with me? Are we all
Speaker 1: done here? Okay? Evil villains? You race time as we
Speaker 1: know it. No more days, no more weeks, no more months.
Speaker 1: I'm just a little concerned as somebody that's kind of
Speaker 1: a keeper of times of sorts. Maybe I have a
Speaker 1: different grasp of it than you, but we exist inside
Speaker 1: of talk. Get Well, it's a construct, is it not, Tim? Tim?
Speaker 1: You seem to be disagreeing with what we're doing here. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm just concerned if we destroyed time that well, I
Speaker 1: don't exactly know how we're going to I cherish time. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's a celebration for me. I'd like to maybe just
Speaker 1: us control time. Contron tank Solomon Grundy confused. Well, well,
Speaker 1: you see, if if we are to destroy time, then
Speaker 1: well it would cease to flow, and well then we
Speaker 1: would probably be I imagine frozen in a moment. Miowo,
Speaker 1: mie cat, pss cat. What's on the table today? We
Speaker 1: robbing the bank? We were impact to get rid of time,
Speaker 1: and then tim had and I should I say the
Speaker 1: word idea? Mio mia? How can pussy woman doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be here when the rest of us are? Well?
Speaker 1: She she she's working on being more punctual. And this
Speaker 1: is a great example of time. Maybe if you had
Speaker 1: better control of time, you would be here on time.
Speaker 1: Answer a question for me, please a riddle? Perhaps it
Speaker 1: is not an evil layer. It's not really a riddle,
Speaker 1: just a quite this is not evil layer. Was there
Speaker 1: a space between those or was that just one word?
Speaker 1: The point is we're bad. Let me see your bad.
Speaker 1: Basis bad means to disrupt the good. So we open
Speaker 1: up in there. Who's that space open? Is this a
Speaker 1: shared office? Yes, it's shared office space. To me, one second,
Speaker 1: can you keep it down in there all right, I'm
Speaker 1: doing calls in the other room. Hey, why don't you
Speaker 1: get one of those new flows how your apartment? And
Speaker 1: then you wouldn't mabe to hear us. Oh, we're trying
Speaker 1: to do big things here, sir. Well, I am doing
Speaker 1: big things in the Okay, I mean a hundred fifty
Speaker 1: dollars last month? Alright? What funk with me? Okay? Good day?
Speaker 1: The good Day's Tim Tim? He said he made a
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty thous last month. If we can do
Speaker 1: this control time that you think you can do, then
Speaker 1: did we go back and take that money that he
Speaker 1: made last Sure? Honestly, it's a lot about organization and
Speaker 1: taking good use of your time. Waking up early only
Speaker 1: sleeping whoa wow wow waking up early. Well, that's one
Speaker 1: way to control time, as he just sees all of
Speaker 1: it that you can't, Bros, Bros, open up, yes, sir, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1: It stinks in here? What the fuck? Shooting on the floor?
Speaker 1: Bruise a little bit. Oh look, you got to get
Speaker 1: your act together. Man. Too late, I lost the title.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a T four no longer. What I'm
Speaker 1: here talking about? Okay, the city is on fire, and
Speaker 1: what's in a name? Huh? You suppose you're right? But
Speaker 1: I didn't have the T four. There's two other Batman's
Speaker 1: out there. There's a bat spaceman and then a batman.
Speaker 1: And am I going to be? What are you going
Speaker 1: to be? I'm walking away from here, And I saidggest
Speaker 1: you think a look in that cracked mirror of yours
Speaker 1: and you figure it out because this city needs you.
Speaker 1: Do you see that the channel the floor brut wages.
Speaker 1: I'm as we should say something as we could sell
Speaker 1: them bru okay, Tim, your next um hm, So you
Speaker 1: have your TEA four form? I sure do. I'm a
Speaker 1: very organized person. It's here. You want to be known
Speaker 1: as calendar man? Is that correct? That's I've that's I've
Speaker 1: been calendar man for many years now. I believe that
Speaker 1: I'm within the registration time. It should be just there's
Speaker 1: the T four. It's okay, it's sixteen dollars please, okay,
Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna pay cash. I don't really want.
Speaker 1: Is this where I go to register a new sidekick? Yes? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I filled out the form here. It's for Robin. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you understand this, but there's a line
Speaker 1: and Spaceman, you idiot. Sorry Spaceman, calendar man, here you go,
Speaker 1: three four change, Thank you Sam, superheroes the stakes. These
Speaker 1: guys just caught up in front while I'm still working. Well,
Speaker 1: if you're really in control of time, then why don't
Speaker 1: you stop him from cutting in front? Cigarettes? Those are
Speaker 1: cigarettes from the other end of the galaxy. Okay, so
Speaker 1: we have bat Spaceman and you're registering Robbins. That correct, Yes,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna spell it with two bees and an apostrophe.
Speaker 1: My head hurts. And that's scene one. Whoa see two
Speaker 1: comes from Kyle, who wrote it blows my mind how
Speaker 1: many people get broken into multi level marketing schemes. They
Speaker 1: pop up on Facebook and you thought they were pretty,
Speaker 1: but you thought they were better than that, did we?
Speaker 1: But people still believe the world is flat. Who on
Speaker 1: the cast believes the world is flat? My guess is Greatosky.
Speaker 1: Here's my suggestion inside multi level marketing scheme. Greetings Kyle
Speaker 1: McVeigh from Huntsville, Alabama. Now listen, guys, trust me in this. Okay.
Speaker 1: My buddy's gonna pop over. He's just gonna talk to
Speaker 1: us for a bid and then we can watch the game. Okay,
Speaker 1: So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, your buddy's gonna
Speaker 1: talk before the game. Yeah, he's gonna come into halftime.
Speaker 1: The game's about start. I know it's not gonna take long.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna take long. Let I mean, he's the
Speaker 1: one that got all this appeer right, yeah, can you
Speaker 1: get some more at least? I mean, I'm willing to
Speaker 1: listen to the guy. I don't want to come off
Speaker 1: as a dumbass idiot. That's the day, No way, no way.
Speaker 1: As when you watch the game, because it's a really
Speaker 1: big game. So of course, of course I'm a lot
Speaker 1: of steak of the game today. You mean I don't
Speaker 1: I don't mind like just listening to the game, but
Speaker 1: I'd rather watch the game. So yeah, if you can
Speaker 1: watch the game, I agree. I would agree with Mikey.
Speaker 1: Huh true. Oh sorrybody, it's all those hundred dollar bills
Speaker 1: everywhere part of me day in the food. Now you
Speaker 1: can keep those. You can keep those. Wait, just came
Speaker 1: out of his nose. That's amazing. He've been tested. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been tested past great Yeah sporting okay, alright, turned
Speaker 1: down the game let's hear what this guy has to say.
Speaker 1: So obviously Bob is a friend of yours, and Bob
Speaker 1: was a friend of mine. Was up, Bobby, boy? Here
Speaker 1: hit it up? Here we go sometime and jump. And
Speaker 1: I already trust him, I mean literally, just as hand
Speaker 1: give makes me trust this guy. Whatever you gotta sell, buddy,
Speaker 1: I'm in. Look, man, it's not about what I've got
Speaker 1: to sell. It's about what you've got to buy. Have
Speaker 1: you thought about it that way? Everybody? Sir, you serve?
Speaker 1: What do you think? You think? You like? Yeah, we
Speaker 1: got hats man. I guess he's talking to all of us.
Speaker 1: I don't know. James just stored in the game. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for some reason. I don't even care about the game anymore.
Speaker 1: I wish I had a gun or a knife if
Speaker 1: I choose as have the television. I hear what this
Speaker 1: guy has to say. Okay, then I like you give here?
Speaker 1: May give it up? Oh okay, Okay, I'm feeling No. Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't think I don't think he started yet. My wife,
Speaker 1: h where is Bob? We've been separated for a while,
Speaker 1: so I don't bob, Bob two things banging your wife?
Speaker 1: And when is this fucking guy, gonna start already with
Speaker 1: the thing you wanted us to hear before we watch
Speaker 1: the fucking game. Hey, my man, you don't gotta tell
Speaker 1: me you're banging my wife. I know that, Okay, that's
Speaker 1: why I said it. Can we hear the thing alright? Because? Okay, stranger,
Speaker 1: who's coming to our weekly gathering? When we watched the
Speaker 1: big fucking game? What's up? Open your phone, man, open
Speaker 1: your email. Holy sh it, you'll see two dollars with
Speaker 1: this transfer to your account. How is this happening? Because
Speaker 1: it's already begun. We're in it. Just the boy, that's
Speaker 1: my face. I don't see it in mind. There's an understood,
Speaker 1: an underscore, dude, I just got two hundred dollars sent
Speaker 1: to me. Man, what what the fund is this? It
Speaker 1: should accept it? No, don't accept just those scamps. You
Speaker 1: Look if somebody send you two hundred how much was it? Dollars?
Speaker 1: Somebody send you that you accepted? Why wouldn't you? What's
Speaker 1: the worst second happening? Haven't you ever had it come
Speaker 1: for like a print over stas and they're just trying
Speaker 1: to get your account to withdraw money. Don't take it? Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: can we stop talking about this? We gotta run a play.
Speaker 1: It's third and long? Okay, Well where do I put
Speaker 1: my phone? And yourself? Tie and three? That's okay, don't
Speaker 1: tell them that? Why what you? And so? You see
Speaker 1: here all the arrows are pointing green and they're pointing up. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's good. It's a good sign. So do we need
Speaker 1: what do we need to do? I mean, everything you've
Speaker 1: told me so far, including the complicated handshakes, I bought into.
Speaker 1: What do I need to do? Now? You probably don't
Speaker 1: want to hear that part? Come not just money with
Speaker 1: the hat? You got any questions? Which are you? I
Speaker 1: feel like you don't believe me? No, him, he knows
Speaker 1: what I'm talking to. I don't believe you. What's going on? Nope, Nope,
Speaker 1: not you him Steward. Okay, well, I mean he really
Speaker 1: doesn't believe He really doesn't believe you. But I'm what
Speaker 1: you would call skeptical. Okay, what part of multi level
Speaker 1: marketing don't you understand? My man? I think it's the
Speaker 1: marketing part, Like I'm pretty confident about the other two
Speaker 1: parts the M So when's the last time you check
Speaker 1: your phone? I'll wait, check your phone, dude, check your
Speaker 1: look at your email. Okay, I got the email. I
Speaker 1: got it. It's such it But what I want I
Speaker 1: would like to go to the bank and verify it
Speaker 1: like trust but verify man interception. Yes, sir, you have
Speaker 1: an account here? Yeah, if you could. I just want
Speaker 1: to just check to make sure that that account has
Speaker 1: the same amount of money is my cell phone? Just
Speaker 1: swipe your card? Okay. Got an email that said five
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars in your account and I'm not sure
Speaker 1: it's thought you have a balance of five thousand dollars. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'd like to can I can I withdraw that money? Absolutely, sir,
Speaker 1: it's your money here. You are gee Willikers Batman. I
Speaker 1: can't believe we're gonna be posit such a huge email,
Speaker 1: bat Spaceman. Sorry, can you get that right? Yeah? I'm sorry. Hello,
Speaker 1: welcome guys. Can I help you? Do you have a lighter? Oh? Yes,
Speaker 1: of course I do. This is a bank. Can't he
Speaker 1: can't stop smoking this kid? Yes? Uh? We uh, we
Speaker 1: just want to we want to check our ballots. Very good,
Speaker 1: and may I have your Just swipe your card okay
Speaker 1: by bat space cards? Okay, what looks like you have
Speaker 1: seven and eighty thousand dollars. Wait what seven and eighty
Speaker 1: thousand dollars? H okay, Robin, yeah, just so fun is he?
Speaker 1: Sarah's he? Okay, it's your child. Okay, he's not my child, alright,
Speaker 1: any beef jerky jerky, sir, it's a bank here. Just
Speaker 1: one second, there's a bull beef jerky right in front
Speaker 1: of you, idiot. How much longer are you Jacko's gonna take.
Speaker 1: I gotta check my balance. I think we're done. We'll
Speaker 1: have a great day, sir. All right, thank you for
Speaker 1: your help, thank you for the jerky. So I think
Speaker 1: I am done here. Bob, You've been great, dude, Thanks
Speaker 1: for hosting everybody. I still don't have it. So there
Speaker 1: should be an underscore between my person last who's faulty
Speaker 1: thing is? I know you're gonna say mine Poorsha. When
Speaker 1: our child is born, promised me one thing. He will
Speaker 1: have my dad's middle name underscore. If we don't say
Speaker 1: this child underscore, I sweat to god I will kill
Speaker 1: myself in front of everyone who works at my job.
Speaker 1: I don't think if that's I don't think the threat
Speaker 1: is necessary. It's done. I just wanted to know how
Speaker 1: serious I was about and I appreciate that. And I
Speaker 1: love you. His middle place, I know you do. His
Speaker 1: middle name will be underscore. Thank you, Poorsha. Can we
Speaker 1: make love good please? Did you see that email that
Speaker 1: DINNI sent out? What the hell is that about? It
Speaker 1: was gonna off himself in front of everybody if he
Speaker 1: he didn't get that name. I'm sure he's just trying
Speaker 1: to make a point. Yeah, well, I know he's a
Speaker 1: very serious guy. He makes he makes really solid points.
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. Am I not on the thread?
Speaker 1: Am I not on the threat? That's all I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know he sent the email out, so I
Speaker 1: don't know there's there's an underscore my name be spelled out,
Speaker 1: spelled out. I know that he is a big fan
Speaker 1: of yours. I do know that, really, absolutely is. I
Speaker 1: remember last week when he said that they didn't have
Speaker 1: folders crystals in the break room, that he would kill
Speaker 1: himself in front of his wife and his newborn baby.
Speaker 1: Folders African American folders, African American crystals. Yeah, and that
Speaker 1: is seen too, So it wasn't really a scheme after all.
Speaker 1: It was just hundreds of thousands of dollars. That's see
Speaker 1: three Coast of patron v I P Crispy I A
Speaker 1: I A I always right AI? Yeah, yeah, but it's I.
Speaker 1: Oh hi, Kevin and fellow chemists. Sorry that my last
Speaker 1: suggestion was crap. I thought it was all right, but
Speaker 1: I was clearly wrong. Maybe if I try and make
Speaker 1: this one crap, it will make cut new scenes. Suggestion
Speaker 1: snail mail, You're welcome, Crispy I A. Now is Crisp
Speaker 1: I A mocking me because it's AI And I've always
Speaker 1: been making a mistake by I A saying I A
Speaker 1: because she who I think Chris Alvarado knows this person's
Speaker 1: real name? She did? Um right, Chris B I A.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. I think it's Crispy
Speaker 1: A I. I think that's what it is. Yeah, you guys,
Speaker 1: I don't. I am flammast is flammox um? Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold up to the screen because I want
Speaker 1: everyone watching. I want everyone watching. Yeah, is the suggestion
Speaker 1: snail mail or snile mile? Yeah, I'll kill yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: I will look it up at some point and hold
Speaker 1: it up to the camera. Okay, I don't totally believe
Speaker 1: I do but mind blown. I don't understand what's happening.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure it's a good thing. We don't add
Speaker 1: to the show, all right, snail, ma'am, ball, get come in,
Speaker 1: Come in? Just like this doorbell. I love the way
Speaker 1: it sounds. You don't have to end it then if
Speaker 1: you don't want to, sir, But if you like to, Sara,
Speaker 1: you can come in. No, please feel free to stay,
Speaker 1: stay on the front door step. And just how all along?
Speaker 1: How long have you lived here? Fifty two years? I
Speaker 1: thought it would been a long time. This storbell has
Speaker 1: not changed him that time? Am I right? It is
Speaker 1: written into the original manuscript for the house sale that
Speaker 1: the doorbell should always remain the same. Well, what would
Speaker 1: you say if I told you? For nine dollars? And yeah,
Speaker 1: I can replace it with any sound you'd like. Sure,
Speaker 1: the doorbell is supposed to remain the same. It's written
Speaker 1: in the original manuscript of the house. Sa I understand.
Speaker 1: Let me play you a couple of samples and see
Speaker 1: if something doesn't strike your fancy. Hello. Hello, I literally
Speaker 1: love that sound. Not I'm in love with it, and
Speaker 1: if I if I could make look to it, I would.
Speaker 1: But in the house manuscript. I have to keep the
Speaker 1: doorbell as the same or else or else, he comes back.
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds ominous as hell, Steve in my office.
Speaker 1: Please listen, your job is to deliver the mail, not
Speaker 1: sell this uh doorbell, whatever the fuck it is you
Speaker 1: think you're doing with the side gig. Okay, you understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. First of all, I don't know where
Speaker 1: you're getting this from. What, Who's telling you? Who? Who's
Speaker 1: telling You're gonna these singing assholes? Tim? Jesus Christ. You
Speaker 1: hit that note so beautifully. This is my regular speaking us.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. I love it. But listen,
Speaker 1: they sing and they sound great, and I'm an asshole
Speaker 1: who's trying to sell to I Just deliver the mail.
Speaker 1: That's what I do. Okay, okay, because listen, we are
Speaker 1: under I don't need to tell you this under a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure here. I do know that. And let
Speaker 1: me just say this to that. You know that tone,
Speaker 1: that register of your voice that you have right now?
Speaker 1: What if they told you for nine dollars you could
Speaker 1: change that tone and register to any sound you want?
Speaker 1: My voice exactly. Your voice can sound like this, Steve,
Speaker 1: I don't know what the hell is going on my door.
Speaker 1: But but you said that acapella group is going to
Speaker 1: be or seven and no one's no one's here, Okay.
Speaker 1: I pay a monthly fee for those guys to come
Speaker 1: over here, and like, you know, yeah, I'm gonna thank
Speaker 1: you for that. You're saying people have rung the doorbell
Speaker 1: and the acapella group has not been because there's nobody here.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you, Steve, there's no acapella group here.
Speaker 1: There's okay, but does anyone ringing the doorbell? Because that's
Speaker 1: the show, Steve, I can't hear it. Did you really
Speaker 1: think the acapella group was gonna stand on your porch?
Speaker 1: That's what you sold me on. That's what you said.
Speaker 1: You said you're gonna hear this beautiful sound every time
Speaker 1: someone rings the doorbell. Every time someone rings the door,
Speaker 1: just a guy passing by. Oh hi, Hello, gentlemen, just
Speaker 1: passing right there, stranger, Hi, just passing through, nothing, nothing
Speaker 1: going on, pushing through us. What do you do? Good
Speaker 1: day to you? Just well, I have a little habit
Speaker 1: of coming in and ding dong dashing people's doorbells. And
Speaker 1: I thought, you, Steve, you know this guy I don't
Speaker 1: you don't mind, I'd like to ding dong bash the doorbell.
Speaker 1: I don't mind, Larry. I'm right then, I guess I'll
Speaker 1: go on to the next place. Then goodbye, gentlemen. Larry,
Speaker 1: that was great. You just sent that guy away. Yeah, Steve,
Speaker 1: what the hell was that? I knew that thing? Capella? Guys,
Speaker 1: all right, who's supposed to be I don't understand, Boston.
Speaker 1: What do you mean we're we're gonna check down the
Speaker 1: entire postal service. Well, it's just that it's taking so
Speaker 1: long to deliver. I don't know what people are doing.
Speaker 1: We're supposed to walk up to the door, put the
Speaker 1: envelopes in the mailbox, and then walk away, but these
Speaker 1: are taking forever. In fact, we're so backed up on
Speaker 1: mail that we've decided just to shut it down and
Speaker 1: said it all through. I'm sorry, don't say we're through privatized,
Speaker 1: don't say I'm not gonna label them. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: get anything we can do to save it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess if you were able to really put to
Speaker 1: the bus so certain enough, just sell it's for the
Speaker 1: town's local sing along. If you win it, the prize
Speaker 1: money is enough to keep the natural book. Let me
Speaker 1: see that paper, give that to me. Okay, oh man,
Speaker 1: my chest is kind of the town. Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: Welcome to the town local sing along today. We've got
Speaker 1: several groups out here who are going to literally and
Speaker 1: figuratively sing their hearts and lungs out today. Gets a
Speaker 1: hunk of money enough to shave any floundering industry. Now,
Speaker 1: we got the New Zealand team coming in here. Now
Speaker 1: they're the villains. Let's just get out there and say
Speaker 1: it all right. I never met a New Zealander that
Speaker 1: I cared for. They're very large boned people, are they
Speaker 1: They're huge. They're huge. It scares me in a way
Speaker 1: that is, uh, that's real. Yeah, I really yeah, I
Speaker 1: can see that. I really get picked up. And after
Speaker 1: the New Zealanders, we're gonna have some people from the
Speaker 1: United States Postal Service. Wow, they say that again? I
Speaker 1: thought they went under. No, say that again. I thought
Speaker 1: they went under. No. I just wanted you to say
Speaker 1: that again. I used to do with Mike. No. No,
Speaker 1: I was when I say it, say that again, I
Speaker 1: thought you were gonna say I wanted you to say
Speaker 1: that again. Oh boy, what a day it's gonna be
Speaker 1: can't wait, ladies and gentlemen. To my left, I have
Speaker 1: Team New Zealand ruggers. I don't like them. And to
Speaker 1: my right, I have Team United States Postal Service, and
Speaker 1: each group thirty seconds to sing their hearts and lung sound.
Speaker 1: Team New Zealand begins. Now, hey, that's New Zealand. That's
Speaker 1: how they did it. Tribal tribal fields. Now uh, I
Speaker 1: don't need to remind you all, but I will. The
Speaker 1: prize money here will be enough to save any floundering industry.
Speaker 1: So like, hundreds of millions of dollars is what it's
Speaker 1: gonna be, even these industry, even the cruise industry. Look
Speaker 1: out of here, good car cruise. He's got virus. I
Speaker 1: want to hear just at least five industries that it
Speaker 1: could possibly say. I mean me too, I want specifics
Speaker 1: still going Brooklyn jaw. We can't expect him to answer
Speaker 1: with a broken jaw forgive us no, But we can't
Speaker 1: expect him to write those things down and somebody else
Speaker 1: will be able to read him again. Well, we can't
Speaker 1: expect for him is to write down for someone else
Speaker 1: to read it. Once again, I wanted you to say
Speaker 1: there's the thing I used to do with my child.
Speaker 1: And if I say, you can say that again, you're
Speaker 1: still We can't expect him to do is write it down.
Speaker 1: Have somebody else say the word that you say that
Speaker 1: say that. Ladies and gentlemen, the United States, we're going
Speaker 1: postal doom boom boom. We're gonna shoot you in the face.
Speaker 1: We're going to post We're gonna mess up the place
Speaker 1: were everywhere we're going keep you want to mail deliver,
Speaker 1: but today there's just something that all postman have to say.
Speaker 1: Just make sure that the knob is turned on your
Speaker 1: dough when we were come and throw your mail loud
Speaker 1: over the flow. We don't deliver everything that we say
Speaker 1: we will. Sometimes you like to steal your gas bill.
Speaker 1: So if you let twisted it does not come on,
Speaker 1: you can blame it on us. Come out on, come out.
Speaker 1: We're okay. The judges up in the booth are talent.
Speaker 1: Seat the jaw. I gotta somebody sucker punched me. I
Speaker 1: didn't see it and my weight was going into the punch.
Speaker 1: Was one of those ones where I was walking that
Speaker 1: way or ready, that's the words me up. Anyway, The
Speaker 1: guys in the booths are scoring these on three different categories.
Speaker 1: One's originality, second is um tone, and third is move.
Speaker 1: We were only given fifty seconds and U to hold
Speaker 1: like one a total sold shut up, just hit the right,
Speaker 1: we'll send it to the booth now. I gotta admit
Speaker 1: I liked what the postal people were doing there. They admitted,
Speaker 1: they admitted, they admitted their faults in there. Something. I've
Speaker 1: had my power shut off many a time. No I
Speaker 1: know why, but they said they're going to throw your
Speaker 1: mail all over the floor right. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that was just for the rhyme or if that's actually
Speaker 1: a threat. I took it as a metaphoric for a
Speaker 1: minute for but then that Keyweeks held that note. I
Speaker 1: don't think so good. I just don't try. I don't
Speaker 1: trust New Zealand think we used that term anymore. And gentlemen,
Speaker 1: we have a special celebrity UM who will be announcing
Speaker 1: the calendar man Lias, and gentlemen, calendar stop time and
Speaker 1: then something couldn't you stop time and then started again
Speaker 1: in such a way that it doesn't even matter that
Speaker 1: you just did it. I don't think you'll understand what
Speaker 1: I do. I don't stop time. I tracked time. I
Speaker 1: make you candy envelope. Can we just get the results
Speaker 1: of the contest? Can we get Are you sending it
Speaker 1: via Snido Mayo, Snido Mayo? I am not sending it me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read it right now here in this I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read it with your lives. Is this Is this
Speaker 1: the only record of who wins and who loses? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it's one tea in the other. Well, then
Speaker 1: come stop right there, calendar man, stop right, it's me
Speaker 1: bat space man. Stop stop? Do you stop right there?
Speaker 1: Bat space man? I checked your tea four form. You
Speaker 1: said you live in unit two and actually you live
Speaker 1: in unit six. That makes this Nolan void? Are you
Speaker 1: gonna get me on our technicality when I'm out? Tried
Speaker 1: to apprehend a villain. Now, somebody just turned those in.
Speaker 1: You might remember him. His name is Bruce Wayne Leades
Speaker 1: and gentlemen otherwise known as that's right, bank Robbin. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna drop that extra being that a pastry free from
Speaker 1: your name to the same Robin you've always been the
Speaker 1: only cigarettes. Of course I have cigarettes. I worked at
Speaker 1: a bank for nems younger. Okay, he's not so serious.
Speaker 1: And now would you like me Batman to read the
Speaker 1: winner of the All right, let me quickly catch calendar
Speaker 1: man there? Got him? I used a battaser. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: can we get this week? We get a load like that, Batman?
Speaker 1: Calendar Man, he just looks like he's breathing. I think
Speaker 1: he tastes him too hard. Did I kill him, Robin?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't. I want to thank both
Speaker 1: of you for showing up for the funeral for calendar Man.
Speaker 1: I don't know where if you were related, we weren't
Speaker 1: expecting much of a crop too. I'm sort of related
Speaker 1: to him. I'm the man who killed him. Well, then,
Speaker 1: perhaps you'd like to speak on his behalf. I didn't
Speaker 1: know him personally. Yes, Um, he didn't run. He didn't
Speaker 1: run nearly as fast as he could have run. Ah,
Speaker 1: if only that's robbing? You got anything? Because I don't
Speaker 1: get Yeah, yeah, I'll say something. Um uh. He was
Speaker 1: a good guy. Uh uh. And that's our show for today,
Speaker 1: yeah baby, Yeah. Christmas Charity, each and every damn one
Speaker 1: of you, Harry Nathaniel, Harry bows it up and maid
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Holidays. A little bingre bingle there for you.
Speaker 1: Thank all the alchemists for showing up and giving the
Speaker 1: love and making the magic here, starting with Mr Joseph Greer, Joey,
Speaker 1: thank you, Happy, thank you, Happy holidays to you. I
Speaker 1: hope it's not a lump of close Stratton in your
Speaker 1: stocking again. Now we've taken too many chunks with that man.
Speaker 1: He needs to heal, right, and anything you'd like closing
Speaker 1: out here in the wrap up folks to know you know,
Speaker 1: just okay, great Chris Alvarado. You know I think Joey
Speaker 1: hit it right. I think I think cold Stratton needs
Speaker 1: to heal. Yes, that's and furthermore yes, nope, Sorry, Gary,
Speaker 1: Anthony Whams, thank you so very damn much, and happy
Speaker 1: holidays to you and yours. You have made my Kwanza.
Speaker 1: Thank you for that. Thank you for Greig Atkowski, all
Speaker 1: the best. Just looking forward to one. Even if I
Speaker 1: get fifty check avails and losing all that Larado, I'm
Speaker 1: still a happy Yeah. And also please thank Carla for
Speaker 1: texting us during the show. I actually enjoyed the hell
Speaker 1: out of that. Yeah. She was disturbed by some of
Speaker 1: my lines out of context, you know, I think it
Speaker 1: was the screaming of what you were saying, and and yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah it must have been disturbing on her when she
Speaker 1: hears the episode, So that's a great presumption. Yeah, Dr
Speaker 1: James Heeney, thank you so very much, pal love you
Speaker 1: missed you, Thank you. I love you all and miss
Speaker 1: you all. I would say it's a brand new year.
Speaker 1: You could start off doing things right by putting the
Speaker 1: right foot forward, going to iTunes and rating Alchemy this.
Speaker 1: I mean, my preference will be five stars, but whatever
Speaker 1: your hearts, if you've made it this spart not, it
Speaker 1: shouldn't be I mean a five star ratings all. I'm
Speaker 1: really looking for the new year. Thank you, James. That
Speaker 1: was very damned sweet of you and honest. How about me? What? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we want to hear your you know your close all
Speaker 1: you guys. I'm overwhelmed. I don't even know what to
Speaker 1: say after such love. I guess um, I would ask
Speaker 1: that everyone be super super kind to each other, go
Speaker 1: out of your way way more than maybe even you
Speaker 1: normally do. Um, we really need to depend on each other.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep hammering this home. And also, um, Joey,
Speaker 1: as as it's been said, drinks his own come and
Speaker 1: that wasn't just that was part of the show. That's
Speaker 1: something I hope that people celebrate in the New year.
Speaker 1: That's not true. This is this is really really paint
Speaker 1: it seriously sounded. It really sounded sincere and real. I believe,
Speaker 1: I believe that, I believes it's thanks, thank you wherever
Speaker 1: you are, Thanks to fine folks that I heart media.
Speaker 1: We celebrated two years back in October, so twenty one
Speaker 1: will bring us into our third and beyond, and thank
Speaker 1: you all for making that possible. And yeah, happy New
Speaker 1: Year and