Speaker 1: Hey, Yeah, I'm gonna tell you something right now. Dog,
Speaker 1: what twenty twenty one? You're doing your thing already? Holy shit?
Speaker 1: Yeah they not twenty twenty one. Ain't not Hey, not
Speaker 1: messing around? Right up? Why what's this new camera angle?
Speaker 1: I don't like it? Well, I'm closer up, I'm closer.
Speaker 1: I'm closer to the outside of the area where my
Speaker 1: closet is. And so now I got the WiFi is
Speaker 1: a little bit better over. Oh, I see do you
Speaker 1: have um the box? I do have the box? Do
Speaker 1: you You didn't open it? Right? I forgot about it already. Okay, good.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna invite Billing because he's here and he's gonna
Speaker 1: be part of the live opening on the show. Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, we have Bill Lawrence here. We always invite
Speaker 1: Billin early because he's special. There thunderous applause? Damn do
Speaker 1: you like your thunderous applause? On compliments? Hey, guys, Bill,
Speaker 1: you're the only person we allow in early before before
Speaker 1: we sing the theme song because you're so special. Well
Speaker 1: also because he might sometimes count in and then we
Speaker 1: go into the theme song, but also Bills so funny
Speaker 1: that we're like, no, we want the whole show to
Speaker 1: be extra funny, so let him do the whole thing.
Speaker 1: That is a lot of pressure. I mean, it's a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure. By the way, before we even start,
Speaker 1: I gotta say this is a very funny episode. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I laughed a lot. I laughed out loud and had
Speaker 1: to pause and write down laughing out loud because there's
Speaker 1: a lot of funny shit in this episode. Quite quite
Speaker 1: a few funny parts in this episode, quite a few.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you what I make you guys laugh?
Speaker 1: Is it because you know I was? You were nice
Speaker 1: enough to invite me late? And so it's a good
Speaker 1: challenge for me to try and remember an episode without
Speaker 1: watching it like I usually do beforehand. And I went
Speaker 1: to one of the websites on Scrubs and just looking
Speaker 1: at the pictures of it, I remember how funny the episode.
Speaker 1: One of the pictures of Scott folding in the jukebox.
Speaker 1: Yeahara Reid was a cigarette buck. Yeah, this episode was insane. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's insane, Scottland's It's very stoner. It's a very stoner episode.
Speaker 1: Scott Foley and Sam and and Elliott are playing hide
Speaker 1: and seek in the bar, and and and no in
Speaker 1: the world. In the world, yeah, in the world. They
Speaker 1: run into they run into the bar, and because they
Speaker 1: were you're you're highlighting how cute a couple they are together.
Speaker 1: And he goes, guys, guys, we're playing hide and seek.
Speaker 1: No one tell her where I am. And then I go.
Speaker 1: She goes, where is he? And I go, I don't
Speaker 1: know he's And then I see it. He's in the
Speaker 1: jew box. He's he's managed to get inside the jew box.
Speaker 1: But then and then and then I go, and then
Speaker 1: I go, he's a dynamite hider. So dumb. It's so dumb.
Speaker 1: But I laughed out loud. I laughed, dude. Come on,
Speaker 1: there's so many funny parts in this. There's so much
Speaker 1: funny ship. Um wait, before we start, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: one special thing, Bill that you're a part of. Donald
Speaker 1: is gonna lie opened his Christmas present that finally arrived. Alright,
Speaker 1: let me go. I'm very excited about this. Okay now, Bill.
Speaker 1: On the last episode, which you haven't heard yet because
Speaker 1: it hasn't aired, um, we talked about how you probably
Speaker 1: know about stock x because your kids are obsessed with sneakers. Um,
Speaker 1: so I got these on stock X for Donald. Right,
Speaker 1: they had to go get certified. The words of Matthew
Speaker 1: mcconnaugh Hey, all right, listen, they've been certified their limited edition.
Speaker 1: This is very exciting. He's opening everybody. He's opening. Oh.
Speaker 1: I didn't take the time to wrap it because who
Speaker 1: cares and it says it on the outside. I just
Speaker 1: want to put you out there with it. Oh buddy, buddy, buddy,
Speaker 1: I have these already. No you don't, No, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's fucked up, HOLI shit, holies ship there. M Lando
Speaker 1: Calarissian sneakers their limited edition Lando A Calarissian Adidas, the
Speaker 1: best Star Wars character ever in the history is star
Speaker 1: Take him out. Take him out, dude. They say his
Speaker 1: favorite they say his his lines on the side of
Speaker 1: his most famous line on the side of the shoe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they've been opened already, so there's no because they had
Speaker 1: to get him. They had to get approved, bro, So
Speaker 1: they had to get they had to get verified. I
Speaker 1: can't believe you said you had him. I I freaked out.
Speaker 1: That's by the way, that's a well performed, most very
Speaker 1: well real All these are good shoes. Oh shit, Oh
Speaker 1: you got cities, dud. Dude, you got Lando. You got
Speaker 1: Lando on the tongue. But Donald, look at the lines
Speaker 1: on the on the inside of the shoe. On on
Speaker 1: the side, it says, uh something about the ship, about
Speaker 1: the falcon. You know, that ship saved my life quite
Speaker 1: a few times because she's the fastest uncle junk in
Speaker 1: the gap. Let's see. I love it. There you go, buddy, Wow,
Speaker 1: he Donald, that's from That's from Zach and me. So
Speaker 1: we hope no, Bill, Bill, thank you. Well. You see
Speaker 1: how you see how that works. You see how that works, guys,
Speaker 1: and you see what I did automatically. I immediately thanked Bill.
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you that Joel and Daniel,
Speaker 1: that's a proper response when someone says that's from Zach
Speaker 1: and I. That's how you do. This is how Bill.
Speaker 1: You know, Bill, I gave Joelle and Daniel presents, and
Speaker 1: of course Donald didn't, and and Donald tried to be like,
Speaker 1: that's from both of us, and I was like, no, no,
Speaker 1: but you know what, because it's Bill, Donald, that is
Speaker 1: from both of us. You know what, I'll make you
Speaker 1: know what't make you guys happy. The only the only
Speaker 1: shoe related gift I've ever been part of is this
Speaker 1: is will circuit back around so and maybe Donald know
Speaker 1: who this is. I'll have Henry come tell us. Henry
Speaker 1: walked into my closet and he saw the Scrubs one
Speaker 1: hundredth episode Nikes. You know, I had him unworn, untouched,
Speaker 1: and uh, and then he was watching some whatever version
Speaker 1: of Cribs or whatever. But as some hip hop artist
Speaker 1: or rapper was showing his shoe collection and somebody in
Speaker 1: our crew must have sold those, because he had the
Speaker 1: one of the shoes he highlighted on TV. These are
Speaker 1: the these are the scrubs. Yeah, these are the scrubs
Speaker 1: one hundred Nikes, and they're priceless because they're ungettable. And
Speaker 1: Henry processed that and then I went back to my
Speaker 1: closet and my shoes were gone. Checked this on there.
Speaker 1: Literally they're on a homemade display case in his closet.
Speaker 1: Priceless next time. Oh, donalds still gone him? Well, Donald
Speaker 1: war him minor on worn. Two nice scrubs. One they're
Speaker 1: probably on eBay for some other crew members who were
Speaker 1: like thugget before. We just about those shoes real quick.
Speaker 1: When you were when you were coming up as an
Speaker 1: actor and you got to do a lot of work
Speaker 1: when you were like I got to do a lot
Speaker 1: of work as a very very young actor, Like, uh,
Speaker 1: when I was before I was twenty one. I you know,
Speaker 1: I was paying for high school and all of that shit, right,
Speaker 1: but through acting and when you would get the crew gift,
Speaker 1: you know, the crew jacket, that always was something right,
Speaker 1: and you know, when you're young, you wear that shit
Speaker 1: because you know you're proud of it. And you want
Speaker 1: everybody to see. My one mistake with those sneakers as
Speaker 1: I wore them because I was Joel just posted that
Speaker 1: their two thousand bucks online those shoes. Oh man, well
Speaker 1: that's probably not worn. I wore those things, is it?
Speaker 1: Is it tacky for me to have about two hundred
Speaker 1: pairs of those made real quick and then we just
Speaker 1: fly that stuff out there. I mean, we'll do things money. Well,
Speaker 1: that's that's fly dude. It's it's still the scrub. It's
Speaker 1: still the scrubs, dude. That would be dope anyway. Bill
Speaker 1: bill Son, Henry he's talking about, was very into sneakers,
Speaker 1: like a lot of teenage boys. And I was going
Speaker 1: over their house and I took a moment to look
Speaker 1: in my closet. I collect sneakers, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put on like a pair that will really
Speaker 1: impress Henry. And I literally thought about this and I
Speaker 1: put on a pair and I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: Henry's gonna notice, and he's gonna think I'm cool, Uncle Zach.
Speaker 1: And I walk in the door, He's like, those are
Speaker 1: the lamest version of those. Yes, yeah, you raised the dick. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if I could love him more, Like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I want to just eat him up anyway, Donald,
Speaker 1: you better wear those. Don't just put him on the closet. No,
Speaker 1: these will be hell yeah, these will be put to
Speaker 1: the test. I thought you might have Landell quotes on
Speaker 1: the side. Yes, Bill, I have a good quick thing
Speaker 1: to say before um as a way for one of
Speaker 1: you to count yourselves in randomly. Uh. My wife and
Speaker 1: I saw Charlie Pooth yesterday and h he started talking
Speaker 1: about how much fun it was to work with you
Speaker 1: two knuckleheads on this theme song. Yeah, and then said
Speaker 1: He's like, I felt like it was all of them,
Speaker 1: they're so talented. But he did say I do feel
Speaker 1: like I was a huge champion of making sure that
Speaker 1: they said the title of their podcast in their theme
Speaker 1: song lyrics. He's like, dude, you gotta say what it
Speaker 1: is and that that to me. It made me so happy.
Speaker 1: Now when I hear the end of that song of
Speaker 1: his Zack and Donald scrubs Fafa's literally word for word. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the most awkward possible title to fit into a song. Well,
Speaker 1: we have a new challenge for Charlie. We're gonna do
Speaker 1: a dating segment for Joel Um and we're gonna have to.
Speaker 1: We're gonna call up Charlie and have him write a
Speaker 1: little segment segment song. That boy's voice is so silky. Bill,
Speaker 1: you remember your birthday? Yeah, when he sang for your birthday,
Speaker 1: perfect pitcher pitch you guys, he's got ago. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: one year ago when we could all two years ago?
Speaker 1: Two years ago, yeah, two years ago when year you're
Speaker 1: I judged time by my daughter's boyfriends and he was
Speaker 1: two years ago. Bill, count us in because we America
Speaker 1: loves it when you count. All right, But you know
Speaker 1: I can't. I'm not. We have to be told not to. Donald,
Speaker 1: come on, tell him not to. Hey, he doesn't watch
Speaker 1: you to, Billy doesn't want you to. All right, ready,
Speaker 1: way is this the type of thing that I could
Speaker 1: count us in or do you guys usually do that? No, Bill,
Speaker 1: you cannot it's own. Can't counts and countective, don't you ever? Hey,
Speaker 1: here's some stories about show we made about a bunch
Speaker 1: of dots, and nurses said, he's the stories yet around
Speaker 1: you here? Yeah, around here? Bill. On Twitter today, someone
Speaker 1: said I had no idea you were involved with To me,
Speaker 1: I had no idea you were involved with ted Lasso.
Speaker 1: I love it so much. And I said, well, it
Speaker 1: was mostly me and Jason, but we got some guidance
Speaker 1: from Bill, and I thought you'd appreciate that. I'm spinning
Speaker 1: your podcast joke for ted Lasso. Unacceptable. Um tell us
Speaker 1: about hold on, Billy please, we're doing a very famous
Speaker 1: podcast right now. UM tell us going to be awkward
Speaker 1: that your dog and I have the same name. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna answer Billy from now on whatever you say,
Speaker 1: hold on, let me let my dog out. She's crying.
Speaker 1: Come on, Billy, please, while we're on a brief While
Speaker 1: we're on a brief break, Donald, have you ever worn
Speaker 1: a pair of nmd's The style of shoe that those
Speaker 1: Landos are now, they're some of the most comfortable shoes
Speaker 1: I've ever worn. I don't really, I've never really worn Adidas,
Speaker 1: to be honest with you. The only pair of Adidas
Speaker 1: I've ever owned with a Patrick Ewings back in the day,
Speaker 1: okay cool before he had the ewings. Yeah, I had
Speaker 1: the Patrick Ewings. They would have orange. They were like
Speaker 1: the orange, white and blue. Yeah, Pat Ewings back. I
Speaker 1: remember standing in a little tiny in my in my
Speaker 1: mom's bathroom because she had the mirror with some raggedy
Speaker 1: ass clothes on but some clean ass pat and Ewings
Speaker 1: looking at the shoes like that shit made me look good.
Speaker 1: And I got a haircut that day too. I know
Speaker 1: I looked fly. I was like side love, Um, very
Speaker 1: very funny show. And um I still have the striped
Speaker 1: sweater that I'm walking up to the security guard named IRV. Bill,
Speaker 1: you didn't get a chance to watch, But I don't
Speaker 1: know if you recall I. I do. I remember IRV
Speaker 1: because he I think he tried to some other or
Speaker 1: kill someone. Yes, do so. IRV is. IRV is the
Speaker 1: security guard which we've never seen before. We've only seen
Speaker 1: Leonard Randall Winston with a hook hand in an afro,
Speaker 1: and we are we not going to do America's favorite
Speaker 1: Sorry show, Sorry my favorite dog out and I got
Speaker 1: distracted Donald, Yes, please let me get my counter. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: America and Earth Now I'm you know this is all
Speaker 1: your fault. This is all your fault. Ready, Mark, getst go.
Speaker 1: Turk and Calla are joined at the hip. The Janitor's
Speaker 1: got a new job, Doctor Cox might have a crush.
Speaker 1: Elliott and Sean have reunited, and JD makes out with
Speaker 1: a cigarette. Breaking up so so hard to do, and
Speaker 1: no one ever really wants to waste someone's time, But
Speaker 1: we also hate confrontation. To overcome this fear is debilitating
Speaker 1: at times, and when it finally comes to a head,
Speaker 1: if not taken care of early, it can cause an
Speaker 1: awful mess. What's crazy is how fast the pressure is
Speaker 1: relieved once you step up and face the situation. I've
Speaker 1: learned bravery is way more rewarding than cowardice. Yes, Queen
Speaker 1: seconds for a graph guy. Yes, Well, the janitor is
Speaker 1: in a real sticky position here because he's got a
Speaker 1: nerve's job and he's um his main goal as the
Speaker 1: security guartist to guard these one doors that that that
Speaker 1: that Kelso keeps breaking through to go to his call yeah,
Speaker 1: someone right, Yeah, he doesn't even know it. He doesn't
Speaker 1: know it's a fire hazard in the hospital, right, that's
Speaker 1: it's so important to say that too, or the joke
Speaker 1: doesn't or the or the joke doesn't land like. He's
Speaker 1: a tough guy with uh Turk and Carla about the situation.
Speaker 1: He's telling them, how you know, he can't wait to
Speaker 1: catch this bro. He's even asked security to handle it,
Speaker 1: but they're more worried about the people that are stealing
Speaker 1: and harvesting organs. Yeah, I love the herbs in charge
Speaker 1: of finding out who's stealing organs from the hospital. But anyway, Um,
Speaker 1: so the janitor gets a has a friend who's a
Speaker 1: bank teller or something, and he puts the one of
Speaker 1: the die packs in the in the in the alarm somehow.
Speaker 1: But this is after the janitor gets the job, right,
Speaker 1: So the janitor de Janifer gets Irv's job because IRV
Speaker 1: is now fired for smothering a patient attempted murder. Yeah
Speaker 1: right who who you and you and Judy, You and
Speaker 1: Carla tackle IRV and Judy stinks a need in his neck?
Speaker 1: Just you and Judy, You and Judy tackling herb and
Speaker 1: putting a needle in his neck was hilarious because the
Speaker 1: guy called him The guy called him pudgy or something right, right, Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm jumping ahead. There's a really funny
Speaker 1: moment Bill when Um when JD IRV. Jady passes IRV
Speaker 1: and says more than nerve and JD's just walking and
Speaker 1: someone parks in a red zone and that's what the party.
Speaker 1: And even though JD's walking, Earth starts to run, but
Speaker 1: because he's a heavy, heavy and old, he can't really
Speaker 1: run that vest. But JD's just walking. And then you
Speaker 1: see Jady arrived and then the IRV even though he
Speaker 1: was running a rod. And second, but wait, hold up,
Speaker 1: it's a very funny. It's a very funny joke because
Speaker 1: you see IRV run out D. Hey you guys, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you some trivia that even um scrumbs wicky guy
Speaker 1: won't know. I was excited when Zach, when you said
Speaker 1: which episode it was, you said, my choosiest choice of
Speaker 1: all because there's certain titles and certain keys that I
Speaker 1: can tell you, even without remembering it right off the bat,
Speaker 1: that it was going to be a goofy joke filled
Speaker 1: episode because we would never you know, title one of
Speaker 1: the serious episodes like that, And my choosiest choice of
Speaker 1: all was because this is season three and we've been
Speaker 1: doing this for a long time, and this is right
Speaker 1: when and you guys know I bitch and moan, and
Speaker 1: this is right when. In the writer's room, I started
Speaker 1: to get mad that all the voiceovers at the end
Speaker 1: of the shows were like, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: you make decisions, and these decisions lead to choices, and
Speaker 1: those choices affect the things that you do right, and
Speaker 1: so this exists because then I would riff and those
Speaker 1: choices are the hardest things you'll ever do. Because sometimes
Speaker 1: the choosiest choice. So when I see a title like this,
Speaker 1: I know it's one of our silly episodes. Well, that's
Speaker 1: funny that you say that, because it is. You know,
Speaker 1: as the fans all know, some episodes, you know that
Speaker 1: you spam on the spectrum in tone, and some are
Speaker 1: just packed with silliness and jokes, and this is one
Speaker 1: of them. I mean, there's not a moment when Turk
Speaker 1: and Carla aren't arm in arm for the whole episode,
Speaker 1: except when the moment No, when you tackle urban but
Speaker 1: a needle in this net and then even then you're together,
Speaker 1: but you don't have your arms around each other. But
Speaker 1: even it all starts when you say when you ask
Speaker 1: for when you ask, do you ask them for advice
Speaker 1: or do they just decide to give it? Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: some commentary like you don't want to ask a couple
Speaker 1: who are about to get married because they think they
Speaker 1: have advice on romance for everyone. And then Turk latches
Speaker 1: on and then all of a sudden they connect and
Speaker 1: speak it at the same time, and from that moment
Speaker 1: on they're together. That's really funny, and it's a little
Speaker 1: it's a little precursor for We're a Little Become. Was
Speaker 1: it Tarla or what was your name? And Princess Bride? Right,
Speaker 1: I don't know the Fairytale episode? Yeah connected Tarla? Right?
Speaker 1: Um so yo. I didn't remember this episode at all,
Speaker 1: like I sincerely did not. I didn't remember one joke
Speaker 1: from you have a big part in this episode, dude.
Speaker 1: I didn't like a lot of scenes I didn't remember.
Speaker 1: I got to tell you something. There's something something was
Speaker 1: wrong with me this year because at the rap party,
Speaker 1: Bellamy comes up to me and it's like, Hey, what
Speaker 1: a great year, and I'm and I didn't recognize her,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, dude, And I didn't say
Speaker 1: for not having too much weed, for not smoking weed. Yeah, Turla, sorry,
Speaker 1: it was Turla. I you know what I remembered, by
Speaker 1: the way, because I remember things in terms of arguments
Speaker 1: that we had in the writer's room and stuff, and
Speaker 1: I remembered one moment because there was a contingency of
Speaker 1: people in the writer's room that thought that Turk was
Speaker 1: too mean to say Carlo, I would never sleep with
Speaker 1: your sister, she's hideous. Well, Danny's back and it's a funny,
Speaker 1: so Jad just to remind him, not because I'm a
Speaker 1: faithful if she was, different story, different story. And by
Speaker 1: the way, they were correct, because remember the argument the
Speaker 1: writers room of the time was aren't we eventually gonna
Speaker 1: have Carla's sisters on? And we did? You know, you
Speaker 1: guys got married eventually and we had those you know,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So, but none of them
Speaker 1: were hideous though now they were. They were babes yea. Um. So,
Speaker 1: just to remind the audience, if you haven't watched the
Speaker 1: episode recently, that Jad's just had a one night stand
Speaker 1: with Elliott and Sean has arrived at their door, and
Speaker 1: so Elliott and has walked into their apartment. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: walked in, and so JD, to try and make Elliot jealous,
Speaker 1: gets back together with Danny. Now there's a funny line.
Speaker 1: I thought, I I early on when j D says
Speaker 1: or voice over, when you run into someone used to date,
Speaker 1: you either find them annoy or enough time has passed
Speaker 1: that you've idealized everything about them. I thought that was
Speaker 1: a really good line, Bill because I think everyone can
Speaker 1: relate to that, Like when you run true, when you
Speaker 1: run into an X, it's it's a there's a fork
Speaker 1: in the road. It's like, are you still like or
Speaker 1: are you like, Oh, maybe they weren't so bad after all,
Speaker 1: and maybe this maybe I made a huge mistake. And
Speaker 1: then sometimes then and that's what we were doing. Here
Speaker 1: you go, I made a huge mistake. It was a
Speaker 1: different time, and you go, let's go out for drinks
Speaker 1: and you have one nice night, and then almost immediately
Speaker 1: you're like, oh no, no, this is the worst person
Speaker 1: I've ever met. He quickly doesn't like her. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's just solely using her to try and make Elliott jealous,
Speaker 1: and not even to make Elliot jealous. Elliott doesn't remember her.
Speaker 1: He says that he's back with her after he gets upstairs,
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, what's your
Speaker 1: last name again? And I should know that I should know?
Speaker 1: And then been JD goes blonde hair. Oh, and then
Speaker 1: blonde hair, like they're both trying to figure out who
Speaker 1: Danny is. Like, dude, I was so dude, this is
Speaker 1: like this is like perfect stoner humor. Yeah, like if
Speaker 1: you are, if you are listen, if you have the
Speaker 1: humor of someone who giggles or gets confused, and then
Speaker 1: it's like, what the fuck just happen? This is the
Speaker 1: show for you at this point, man, because we are
Speaker 1: off the rails man, and there's a there's a twenty
Speaker 1: person band in it. The end of the show. I
Speaker 1: don't know. You know, Bill, I know you got the
Speaker 1: AMA certification for most realistic medical show, but I don't
Speaker 1: know that Cox would live in this one. By the way,
Speaker 1: worked backwards from the song, because you know, we always
Speaker 1: went search for songs. We all loved that Polyophonic band
Speaker 1: was so cool and so kind of just such a vibe,
Speaker 1: and everybody was like, screw it. Let's figure out a
Speaker 1: way that all bazilion of them are in here like
Speaker 1: they were like they were like there were like platforms
Speaker 1: like consider I mean Cox had arranged for like a
Speaker 1: PA system that were there's balloons dropped. Adam Bernstein directed us,
Speaker 1: by the way, and Mike Schwartz is the name on
Speaker 1: the script. There's a very funny scene where Jad has
Speaker 1: sex with Danny and you're contrasting the episode before there's
Speaker 1: been this like you know, clearly like making love like
Speaker 1: JD and Elliott or like it's like beautifully done, like
Speaker 1: they're so into each other. Then in this episode, she
Speaker 1: she tells him that she likes it rough and he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't really, and she's like she screams at him,
Speaker 1: and he slaps her across the face because she and
Speaker 1: he screams back. It looks like he punches her. It
Speaker 1: doesn't look like he smacks her and goes god. He goes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Danny, I'm so sorry. I thought that's
Speaker 1: what you wanted, and she's like it is harder, squeezes
Speaker 1: his nibbles. It's like a pro wrestling match in bed.
Speaker 1: And then he comes out later and he's got raised
Speaker 1: hills are all puffy red, and he's cut scratch marks across,
Speaker 1: just like he's in a horror movie. And she's by
Speaker 1: the way. She's smoking, and he goes, um, you didn't
Speaker 1: use the smoke. She goes, I like smoking after sex,
Speaker 1: and he goes and during and and then she shrugs
Speaker 1: it off and she nods it off, like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: so Danny's smoking wall. But anyway, I have a question, Bill,
Speaker 1: I think Tara Reid must have been a smoker. That
Speaker 1: must have been the was that the information for all
Speaker 1: this Tara Reid was a smoker. She must she I
Speaker 1: think she. I think she did sarcastic. Well, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I think you wrote that in because I must have said, like,
Speaker 1: you know, Tara's great and everything, but cigarettes and the
Speaker 1: cigarette breast and everything, like I'm sew not into that,
Speaker 1: and you guys must have been like, okay, we're running
Speaker 1: by the way, let's you know, some props to Terry
Speaker 1: or being a young lady that embraced I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's do this ship. You're just unapologetically this character. And
Speaker 1: she just went with it. Man. It was really she
Speaker 1: loved it, by the way. She when we first had
Speaker 1: her on the show. She was like, oh, is this
Speaker 1: the one Rorem dresses a cigarette? That was hilarious, and
Speaker 1: so she was totally gaming, so funny. She had a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. You could tell she was having a
Speaker 1: lot of By the way, when I make out with
Speaker 1: her as a cigarette in the fantasy um and then
Speaker 1: I exhale, smoke comes out just the worst. Man. It's
Speaker 1: so funny. But that's what it feels like to make
Speaker 1: out with a smoker. Did you guys, did you guys
Speaker 1: have conversations in the because I I this, This tripped
Speaker 1: me out. Also, the janitor is now a security guard,
Speaker 1: but are we still calling him the janitor in the show? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't even think it's the janitor. It's just Janitor Janitor.
Speaker 1: The best, you know, the best version of that for
Speaker 1: all time is it's still and you guys now have
Speaker 1: to look for it. Sarah Chalk's funniest line reading whenever
Speaker 1: she's in a one on one scene with him, she's
Speaker 1: Janitor Janitor. Every season it got higher. It was by
Speaker 1: by CD. It was like, so, so I have to know, wait,
Speaker 1: I have to know, Daniel Joe, were either of you smokers?
Speaker 1: I feel like a little bit in early college, the
Speaker 1: exact same when I thought it would be reached to marijuana,
Speaker 1: like sophomore here, it never looked bad. Did you ever
Speaker 1: smoke cigarettes? Bill? No? No, I was cool on my own,
Speaker 1: didn't need to pay money for my coolness. But you
Speaker 1: have smoked a cigarette before? Yeah, I've done most everything before. Donald.
Speaker 1: I mean, let's be honest. I'm an old man. I
Speaker 1: won't go down that road. I'm so sick of sigrets
Speaker 1: of my life is that I never met single partying Manhattan. Bill.
Speaker 1: I know if I had a time machine, if I
Speaker 1: had a time machine and I could, Like, we're watching
Speaker 1: the show called Dark on Netflix now. It's all about
Speaker 1: time too, and it's it's really interesting and I recommend
Speaker 1: its theory. Is it theory? What does that mean? Theory? Like?
Speaker 1: Does it make you have to think about theory or
Speaker 1: its or or or it's very Yeah, I'm sure if
Speaker 1: you're smarter than I am, you can you It's very
Speaker 1: deep and I can't keep track it. I have to
Speaker 1: pause and be like to go to Florence and be like, wait,
Speaker 1: who is he now? Because it's all jumping, it's jumping
Speaker 1: lots of years. No, but I mean, are they are
Speaker 1: they using are they using time travel? As a like?
Speaker 1: Are they can you the theoretically explain how it's happening,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like and yeah and back
Speaker 1: to the future. They gave you an excuse and it's
Speaker 1: easy to follow it because it's about wormholes. It's about wormholes.
Speaker 1: But it's it's one of those shows. It's a German show,
Speaker 1: and it's clearly written by very very bright people and
Speaker 1: um and it's one of those shows where I think,
Speaker 1: if you're super smart scientist, time travel person, you can
Speaker 1: appreciate it on a different level than I am. I'm
Speaker 1: the one pausing going asking my girlfriend, wait, what just happened?
Speaker 1: Because but anyway, I'm not. It's still really good. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like Lost in a way, the show Lost
Speaker 1: in a way in that it's very mysterious and good.
Speaker 1: But I digress. My sentence was, if I could time travel,
Speaker 1: I would like to visit with single partying uh twenty
Speaker 1: something bill in New York City. That you look, that's
Speaker 1: a lot like running in to an ex girlfriend though
Speaker 1: to bring it all back, which is now in retrospect,
Speaker 1: their fun memories. But there's a there's also the reality
Speaker 1: of like, oh my god, this guy's relentlessly annoying. Why
Speaker 1: are you talking so fast? Why is that bleached blonde
Speaker 1: hair guy talking so fast? So it's I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to your party's I mean, he's not saying
Speaker 1: anything funny, but he thinks he's really funny. It's pretty bad,
Speaker 1: pretty bad, I've heard. I've heard wonderful anecdotes. So the
Speaker 1: janitor says that he has his own night stick, and um,
Speaker 1: he has it because his father, Donald, You're the best
Speaker 1: set up here was the most classic alley alop. So
Speaker 1: you guys like it. I'm using the term eli. Janitor goes,
Speaker 1: I you know, it's my fight, got this nice dick
Speaker 1: my father and Donald goes. Was he a police officer?
Speaker 1: He goes, No, he was a cat trainer. By the way,
Speaker 1: no one was ever that happy, but Neil Finn embraced
Speaker 1: it about we had a weird thing with the janitor
Speaker 1: of there's a real intense dislike of animals in there.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you guys noticed that he
Speaker 1: has a dead squirrel army. He made a rabbit into
Speaker 1: a salt and pepper shaker. Yeah, he was crazy. I
Speaker 1: think the rabbit was a pepper grinder, Bill, because he
Speaker 1: would you would spin the rabbit's head. I don't think
Speaker 1: you could make this joke in twenty twenty one, Bill,
Speaker 1: but you think so. Prop Master took a taxi dermy
Speaker 1: bunny and I didn't put it on a pepper grinder,
Speaker 1: and just took off the head so that the head
Speaker 1: would spin to grind. That's one prop I'd really like
Speaker 1: to have. But also, I don't know if you remember,
Speaker 1: because I could have. This is a show I still
Speaker 1: feel like I would watch today, even if I didn't
Speaker 1: sell it myself. Once we established that Neil the Janitor
Speaker 1: had a squirrel army, we would have taxidermied squirrels in
Speaker 1: his garage. We would occasionally just have him see a
Speaker 1: squirrel in a different episode and he would make eye
Speaker 1: contact with it. He's wrong day, wrong time, my friend,
Speaker 1: and he would thrill like a blanket over it, and
Speaker 1: then you would always cut to him in his garage
Speaker 1: having meetings with hundreds of taxi dermied squirrels. I would
Speaker 1: watch that all day. Oh my god, I remember that
Speaker 1: episode where it cuts to him lecturing the taxidermied squirrels.
Speaker 1: So many of them, yeah, and a lot of them
Speaker 1: had different points. He would say, I understand that, Keith,
Speaker 1: but that's not what we're doing right now. They were
Speaker 1: all we got to have Neil back on Joel, Joel,
Speaker 1: will you remind me and let's let's let's find an
Speaker 1: episode that's that he has a lot to do. This
Speaker 1: would have been a a funny one, but uh we
Speaker 1: gotta remember it, he says. He says, you know my my,
Speaker 1: uh my dead raised cats, trained cats. And then after
Speaker 1: that he's walking away and I go right, and he
Speaker 1: comes running back in with this stick ready, and then
Speaker 1: he says something like you guys stay, you guys, stay here,
Speaker 1: as though it's dangerous, and he walks off. All right,
Speaker 1: So I wanted to say, so I have sex with
Speaker 1: Danny and then I come in living room and you
Speaker 1: guys are being all judgmental, and you go, we know
Speaker 1: you're Danny's in there, and I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's my buddy, my buddy from the gym, Danny, and
Speaker 1: you go, I heard you say take it all, Danny,
Speaker 1: And there's a long baus and I go, he's a
Speaker 1: really good buddy. Hey. Awkward thing that I always have
Speaker 1: to do on my podcast. We gotta go to break
Speaker 1: real quick. My god, Bill, you're not supposed to read that.
Speaker 1: That's for the hosts of the show. We will be right.
Speaker 1: You know what I was. I was trying to beat
Speaker 1: him to it, but he beat me to it. Listen,
Speaker 1: you guys, we don't have many rules. The chat is
Speaker 1: for the host. Bill. All right, Bill, send us the break.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this break. Dude, I saw
Speaker 1: that coming. I was like, Yo, we should go to
Speaker 1: I was about to say we should go to break,
Speaker 1: and Bill beat me to it. And then right away
Speaker 1: you hide the producer notes from the guest. Joy because
Speaker 1: occasionally we will have a guest with the audacity to
Speaker 1: read the producer. Because listen, this is how it was.
Speaker 1: I was gonna punctuate your joke with and with that.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. But so then Danny, Wait, Danny
Speaker 1: comes in the living room and she goes some skank
Speaker 1: just called and I told her to back off. Her
Speaker 1: name is Deborah or whatever, and I'm like, biagraph, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my mom. So Bill, I have to ask you.
Speaker 1: You have it's a tricky thing for you because you
Speaker 1: have your wife on the show, and Cox is telling
Speaker 1: there's like a thing where doctor Miller. Cox has a
Speaker 1: crush on doctor Miller, but like that would mean that
Speaker 1: his eye is straying from the glory that is your
Speaker 1: beautiful wife. Was that was that weird to write? Like
Speaker 1: do you have to tell Krystal, like, oh, just see
Speaker 1: you know this week m Cox is gonna have a
Speaker 1: crush on someone other than you? No, Like, there's two things.
Speaker 1: One was I'll tell you the funny one at the end.
Speaker 1: But the one thing was we wanted to do like
Speaker 1: the mature female version of where your relationships at was
Speaker 1: just acknowledging that like people find other people attractive people,
Speaker 1: you know, and so I really like to remember there's
Speaker 1: a joke in this with like doctor coxes like people
Speaker 1: ask me if we're married. I say no, what do
Speaker 1: you say? Oh? I say, we were married for a
Speaker 1: long time and then we split up, but now we
Speaker 1: have a child to get there and we're in a
Speaker 1: committed relationship and it's great and amazing, you know. And
Speaker 1: he's like, oh yeah, I mean sometimes I say that.
Speaker 1: But the other joke, no joke is christ and I
Speaker 1: used to joke around how work is the only place
Speaker 1: I can tell her what to dress and what to
Speaker 1: say and how to look and stuff, and so part
Speaker 1: of this was me going, it might be sexy for
Speaker 1: Krista bond hair. So the end of this episode, if
Speaker 1: you remember, was as a wink to him. She kind
Speaker 1: of changed. She didn't do it all the way and
Speaker 1: we had to help it with a lighting effect. But
Speaker 1: she changes her hair at the end of this, and
Speaker 1: I remember, just from a total you know, in love
Speaker 1: husband thing, going, what a cool, corny excuse to have
Speaker 1: my wife mix her look up? And that was really
Speaker 1: fun for me. That's cool. I was just thinking of
Speaker 1: Christa being like, no, Cox is not going to have
Speaker 1: a crush on someone. Yeah, no one, No one would
Speaker 1: think of anything. Yeah, she z actually can't play that way.
Speaker 1: How many times has Krista told you in front of
Speaker 1: me who she is flat out in love with and
Speaker 1: believes that she should have, you know, a free pass
Speaker 1: for Yeah? Unacceptable? I remember, I don't know, did you
Speaker 1: tell the Clooney story? How how yet that was one
Speaker 1: of our first big fights story. Cloy was her hall
Speaker 1: pass quote unquote. Chris and I when we were dating
Speaker 1: joked around about like who's your free pass? You know,
Speaker 1: like if you run into them, you're allowed to hook
Speaker 1: up with them without the other person complaining. And I said,
Speaker 1: whoever mine was? I even remember? And then Christa said
Speaker 1: George Quinney, which a typical answer. So I didn't care,
Speaker 1: but I didn't put it together that the Drew Carey
Speaker 1: Show and ER were both Warner Brothers shows. And literally,
Speaker 1: like a week later, I came to work and she
Speaker 1: was sitting on her trailer stairs with George Clooney having
Speaker 1: a coffee, and I'm like, I'm like, you can't pick
Speaker 1: somebody that you see every day. I feel like I
Speaker 1: feel like that's not part of the game. And She's like, no,
Speaker 1: we were just doing free passes. I'm like, no, that
Speaker 1: was so insane. No, no, it would hit know your
Speaker 1: free pass. It has to be like, that's unachievable. Bowl. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't just have come with a conversation from your
Speaker 1: free pass and say, you know who my free pass is.
Speaker 1: It's pass Who brought up the free pass? I don't know.
Speaker 1: It might have been me, so fun, Hey, Bill, this
Speaker 1: is my free pass. George Clooney, Yeah, he speaking George Clooney. Bill.
Speaker 1: Do you think Richard Kine would come on the show?
Speaker 1: I do, And I think it would be super duper
Speaker 1: fun You know, he's all right, Joel, let's get Richard
Speaker 1: Kine because he's in UM three twenty coming up. And uh,
Speaker 1: he's so funny and I and I think audience would
Speaker 1: love him. And it is a bit of funny tribute
Speaker 1: that of all people in the world, he's George Clooney's
Speaker 1: best friend. I would have gotten that wrong on every
Speaker 1: quiz that But by the way, never, you know, on
Speaker 1: a show that we do so much with just the
Speaker 1: people that live in our worlds, never has a guest
Speaker 1: start come in and been somebody that we've all quoted
Speaker 1: so much. Still, I've got Yaba, I have been to
Speaker 1: the zoo, I have been to the two go on,
Speaker 1: continue continue. That would make me, That would make me
Speaker 1: super happy. I just love that guy. He's one of
Speaker 1: those people that I see and I just start laughing. Um,
Speaker 1: he was on a show. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys ever watched the show that's very funny. There's only
Speaker 1: one season because I think they stopped because of COVID,
Speaker 1: but it was called the Other the other two? Is
Speaker 1: that what it's called you I'll double check for me.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a thirty rock tone silliness. But it's
Speaker 1: about a kid that becomes like a Justin Bieber superstar
Speaker 1: and his two fuck up siblings, and Richard Kind plays
Speaker 1: one of their agents. And you know he just has
Speaker 1: a small part, but every time he's on screen, you
Speaker 1: just start hysterically laughing. That guy is money, as is
Speaker 1: instant laughs and he can really act. And he's about
Speaker 1: to say and he's a really good actor too. Yeah
Speaker 1: rock star love that dude. I was a little caught
Speaker 1: off guard that Kelso was trying to sabotage the hospital
Speaker 1: until he explained why he was sabotage in the hospital.
Speaker 1: That was something that kind of threw me, like when
Speaker 1: that was a dunt dunt du moment, and it like
Speaker 1: I was confused and then what do you mean he's
Speaker 1: still trying to stab his hospital but he was was
Speaker 1: taking the emergency thing off the door because he gets
Speaker 1: to his car quicker. Yeah, well it wasn't remember his reason.
Speaker 1: His reason is one of the most disturbing jokes we
Speaker 1: ever made. Ken say, you guys to get home before
Speaker 1: enid So because if he if he if he if
Speaker 1: he doesn't, he has to peel her something. Peeling he
Speaker 1: has it's leotard. Its home before she's done dance class
Speaker 1: or something like that, she has a spin class or something,
Speaker 1: and if he doesn't get home before her, he has
Speaker 1: to help peel off or leotard. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: it was upset. It's really it's really an upsetting joke
Speaker 1: because you know why, because he loves Enid. Man, we
Speaker 1: did that joke too many times. I think he loves
Speaker 1: his wife. I don't. I don't think whether he loves Enid.
Speaker 1: He has so much mean things to say about Enid. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't think. By the way, the worst one
Speaker 1: ever was when the Baxter and Enid had divided the
Speaker 1: house into equal size and Enid had ventured into Baxter's
Speaker 1: side of the house and he just said, he just said,
Speaker 1: You're all you gotta do to scare him away is
Speaker 1: make a real aggressive, sudden move. He says, go, and
Speaker 1: then you just hear a dog growling and biting and
Speaker 1: he hangs up laughing. So he had his Yah had
Speaker 1: his dog attacker horrible hole. But does he love Enid? Bill,
Speaker 1: I just don't know. I mean, I don't know what
Speaker 1: where you you know, it's weird. We we talked a
Speaker 1: lot about it. I think we never would have been
Speaker 1: able to do any of this stuff. It's so interesting
Speaker 1: in television shows. If Enid existed, and if you ever
Speaker 1: saw a person a sweet woman, a character or whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't think I think we would immediately gone, he
Speaker 1: loves her, They're okay um, and he's all full of shit.
Speaker 1: But with a second, in any type of creative narrative
Speaker 1: that you don't ever meet the person in question, it
Speaker 1: gives you such license to be horrific or funny or
Speaker 1: bizarre and stuff. So it's not unlike Look, you guys
Speaker 1: know the show that started it. I mean it's it's
Speaker 1: a Norman Vera and Cheers. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The only
Speaker 1: one I remember after Norm and Vera from Cheers was
Speaker 1: I remember the guy on Home Improvement, which I didn't
Speaker 1: watch a lot. They did such great effort to always
Speaker 1: block his face. Yeah, I forget what his name was.
Speaker 1: What was it? What was his name? Daniel Wilson. Wilson
Speaker 1: was Oh, yes, Wilson was the guy behind the fence,
Speaker 1: Yes Wilson. Anyway, it is called the Other two Guys.
Speaker 1: I found it nail that my friend Helena York is
Speaker 1: on it. I highly recommend you guys watch. I laughed
Speaker 1: my ass off and I thought, I wish there was
Speaker 1: more episodes, but they're I guess they're on pause because
Speaker 1: of Jordan and Cox married at this point they are not,
Speaker 1: but I have to be careful about that because we
Speaker 1: do an episode at some point they find out that
Speaker 1: their divorce wasn't official, so they get redivorced, and if
Speaker 1: you guys haven't done that episode yet, then they are
Speaker 1: technically still married. Do you guys remember doing a podcast
Speaker 1: on that episode, that episode yet? No? I actually, you know,
Speaker 1: when when Bellamy came in, I went, ohay, is it's
Speaker 1: going to be a love interest for Cox and Donald
Speaker 1: was like, no, he's not. He's in a relationship with
Speaker 1: with Jordan. And then and then this episode started to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, but they start to have a thing.
Speaker 1: I didn't remember what happened between Yeah, you know, what
Speaker 1: it was is just that we enjoyed for him doing
Speaker 1: a you know, as he gets closer to Jordan, that
Speaker 1: very traditional, lots of fears and lots of pulling away
Speaker 1: so much so it's the precursor to the episode. This
Speaker 1: episode helped us for the episode that they're doing great
Speaker 1: as a couple, but when they find out that they
Speaker 1: aren't actually divorced, that it was screwed up and they're
Speaker 1: still technically married, they start to fall apart again. And
Speaker 1: that's coming up later. Is that why this is a question.
Speaker 1: Is that what the purpose of Bellamy's character was on
Speaker 1: the show. It just seems like that character was there
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden she was gone. Like really,
Speaker 1: now you know what it was? Is? Uh? I think,
Speaker 1: and I can go back. I think Bellamy, you know,
Speaker 1: started much like gift Shop Girl, I remember her name,
Speaker 1: that got a bunch of work on Chuck and stuff,
Speaker 1: Sarah Lancaster is just was somebody that immediately started to
Speaker 1: get work and get other shows. I think she joined
Speaker 1: us because Charles was unavailable and we liked you having
Speaker 1: a superior Charles Chung. You know, we played doctor Wen.
Speaker 1: We didn't have him for one year section at one
Speaker 1: point due to health issue that he had an accident
Speaker 1: and broken in one point due to him doing a
Speaker 1: movie or something, and then he came back to our world.
Speaker 1: So it was at least initially a product of being
Speaker 1: nice for um Turk to have a boss, you know,
Speaker 1: and then um you know, we weren't really going to
Speaker 1: do the romance thing because Cox was with Jordan just
Speaker 1: wanted to have that kind of be an episode real quick.
Speaker 1: And also she was a good foil for Cox because
Speaker 1: even if there wasn't going to be a romance or
Speaker 1: a very mild one, she was like a tough cookie
Speaker 1: and a woman and someone who who had you know,
Speaker 1: some big ask titties. Wait what you know? That's what
Speaker 1: That's what Turk says when he's freaking in the things
Speaker 1: he goes in, some big ass boobies. That's exactly what
Speaker 1: he says. I don't think I think you could say
Speaker 1: boobies on NBC, but not titties and joke if you
Speaker 1: I was about to say, and it should come hand
Speaker 1: in hand with the disapproving headshake you got from Joel.
Speaker 1: Either way, it was fantastic, but that's what it was from.
Speaker 1: You guys are thinking, I'm trying to freaking make a
Speaker 1: sexist joke, but it's from the show. It's from the show.
Speaker 1: You're in your face. You know what I love, by
Speaker 1: the way, and Bellamy is a great example of it.
Speaker 1: I always love when I because of you guys, and
Speaker 1: I am so grateful and it's your podcast, which is annoying.
Speaker 1: It's Daniel, Joel's and Donald's podcast. Um, but not no,
Speaker 1: it's zactly Zach and Zachs and Zach's. I'm so grateful
Speaker 1: to get to occasionally come on it and see it
Speaker 1: and talk to you, talk to you guys about and
Speaker 1: listen to it. I go to sleep list into it.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite things that my favorite thing about
Speaker 1: watching these old episodes are we and you see actors
Speaker 1: and actresses that we caught at a certain point in
Speaker 1: their lives or careers, not like Richard Kind who had
Speaker 1: already done a bunch of stuff, like Bellamy who had
Speaker 1: gone to become you know the Scandal yea, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, and so or Sarah Lancaster who
Speaker 1: was suddenly you know, or Massi you know who was
Speaker 1: on in Heroes, or dam Franco or yeah. Yeah. To me,
Speaker 1: that's so fun, you know, to see the people that
Speaker 1: can you know, crossed our world and then went on
Speaker 1: to not necessarily bigger and better things which is kind
Speaker 1: of more fun for themselves career. No, And to see
Speaker 1: him get his foot in the door like that and
Speaker 1: then to do what he did with it. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it was fun, man, is that's why that's why they
Speaker 1: like seeing Bella. Yeah, it's fun, it's fun. It really
Speaker 1: is interesting the people that were on Scrubs. Like you
Speaker 1: guys probably don't remember this, but what's the gentleman's name
Speaker 1: that's married to Sophia Bogara? Oh? Yeah, yeah. He was
Speaker 1: a football playing dude that tortured Zach. He was on Scrubs.
Speaker 1: He had he was on Scrubs before he was in
Speaker 1: True Blood. Yeah, yeah, he was in True Blood. He
Speaker 1: wasn't in True Blood yet either. I ran into him before,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean after that after yeah he went
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. Um, he was in a segment where I
Speaker 1: he was like a jock, right, and he was said
Speaker 1: something like let's all go bang or something like like
Speaker 1: they turned out they were gay right with the joke clothes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh I remember seeing him on that show as
Speaker 1: a young dude. Uh. You know, it's just it's just fun.
Speaker 1: All these people that kind of cross passed that way.
Speaker 1: Eliza Coop, who went on to star in nine Thousand
Speaker 1: Different Things. I think we were one of our first gigs,
Speaker 1: you know, m she was awesome. Um just makes me happy.
Speaker 1: So JD just really you know, there's just one little
Speaker 1: subplot we could talk about about how JD and Danny
Speaker 1: are staying together solely because they don't want to be alone.
Speaker 1: And I think that there's probably a lot of people
Speaker 1: can relate to that, maybe now more than every during
Speaker 1: a pandemic, when they're just like, all right, I'm so
Speaker 1: over you, but you're just you're my pandemic buddy. I
Speaker 1: can't date anybody else my life. Danil give him adoms,
Speaker 1: but you're You're totally right, though, Zach, And look at
Speaker 1: this episode was supposed to be jokey, but because you
Speaker 1: asked about the doctor Cox, I distinctly remember, especially since
Speaker 1: we had Donald and Judy being the couple attached to
Speaker 1: the hip to one everybody why they suck is we
Speaker 1: were trying to parallel all those things of one universal
Speaker 1: being alone, you'll almost rather be with somebody horrific than
Speaker 1: be alone with two. If you aren't alone, you're able
Speaker 1: to also defeat yourself by going, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: getting more and more dependent on this person. I need
Speaker 1: to sabotage it immediately, doctor Cox. I mean, and it's
Speaker 1: it's and then and then the thing which is like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're long distance, so we barely ever see each other,
Speaker 1: so we can be we can be exciting and and
Speaker 1: and and into it in in two week intervals, because
Speaker 1: who can't be their best self for two week intervals?
Speaker 1: You know they were, they were like all these different examples.
Speaker 1: But I feel like a lot of people m can
Speaker 1: relate to being in something and feeling stuck and and
Speaker 1: I bet now more than ever, where they're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be alone. So even though you
Speaker 1: think it's do you think it's that or do you
Speaker 1: think it's because people A lot of people fear confrontation,
Speaker 1: and that's something that you just don't want to deal with. Confrontation,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, and and and the drama of a of
Speaker 1: a breakup, which is always horrible, especially if it's a
Speaker 1: long relationship. Um, but I just think that there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people who and now, like I said, now
Speaker 1: more than ever because of the pandemic, are kind of like,
Speaker 1: all right, this has to end, but like this is
Speaker 1: fine for now, and I'm just going to endure it.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I don't want to be alone. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be alone. And I think that J and
Speaker 1: I think JD in the situation is like the love
Speaker 1: of my life, I've realized, is making out with a
Speaker 1: guy that looks like Scott Foley and she seems so happy,
Speaker 1: and here I am and I've got Danny and oh,
Speaker 1: she's just so not for me. But I don't want
Speaker 1: to be alone, so she's fine. You know, it would
Speaker 1: be bad for Donald and I to agree with this
Speaker 1: in any way as too happily married. I don't think
Speaker 1: that's what I honestly don't think that's what it is.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, sure, he doesn't want to be alone,
Speaker 1: but he keeps telling her to go away, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And so it's not really he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be alone. It's just that I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I it's it's it's hard to explain, like why I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but that's I think the pressure of
Speaker 1: her being around. I don't. I'm gonna be honest with you,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know the answer to that, but
Speaker 1: I do know that it's really weird for him to
Speaker 1: say I don't want to be alone and then tell
Speaker 1: her to go away, well, because he finally has enough.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's no, no, no, I mean why I mean,
Speaker 1: why before that? Before Like, they're at the bar and
Speaker 1: he's like, and this is how the whole conversation comes up.
Speaker 1: They're at the bar and he goes, hey, you want
Speaker 1: to play darts and she's like yeah. He's like, all right,
Speaker 1: go over there, there's the boarder there darts. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: it's over there. She turns around and she's like and
Speaker 1: she's like, do you really have that? Are you really
Speaker 1: that miserable when you're around me? And he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Whatever she says something like that. He's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. And that's how the conversation starts. So
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's that he's alone, he's scared
Speaker 1: to be alone because he keeps telling her to get
Speaker 1: the funk out of here. Get The one thing I
Speaker 1: like about Danny is she says something that I that
Speaker 1: I liked, which is um, when she's smoking in bed,
Speaker 1: he goes, well, you never used to smoke? Like, what's
Speaker 1: going on? She goes, well, if me dated, I was
Speaker 1: trying to be like my best self and I'm putting
Speaker 1: on like this character for you, But this time I
Speaker 1: think I'm just gonna be like unabashedly myself, and and
Speaker 1: and JD's like sees who this incarnation of a person is.
Speaker 1: He wants nothing to do with it. But you know,
Speaker 1: I think it's just fueled by by feeling insecure. Were
Speaker 1: looking over at Elliott and and want and trying to
Speaker 1: make Elliot jealous, not wanting to go home and be
Speaker 1: sad and lonesome. Yeah, and by the way, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: it's I think there's a line. It's easy to be
Speaker 1: with somebody that you with if you're not mistreating them
Speaker 1: or they're not mistreating you. It's easy to be with
Speaker 1: someone you don't like. You know, there's nothing really at stake,
Speaker 1: you know. And I guarantee you between the five us,
Speaker 1: we were all at some point in our lives with
Speaker 1: a relationship with somebody that we didn't you know, if
Speaker 1: some point of the get gun to our head and
Speaker 1: said do you care if this ends, that we'd be
Speaker 1: like no, no. But it's just think, do you think
Speaker 1: when the pandemic's over, like truly over, there's just going
Speaker 1: to be a slew of divorces and breakups. Absolutely, I'm
Speaker 1: surprised you haven't happened yet. No, I'm sure, I'm sure
Speaker 1: it is happening. I bet if you saw a graph
Speaker 1: of like separation divorce rates, so it's climbing. But I
Speaker 1: just think, like, it's obviously not going to happen on
Speaker 1: a day. But if it happened, they were like, October first,
Speaker 1: we have officially conquered COVID. It's over. October second, people
Speaker 1: were like peace, by the way, there should someone should
Speaker 1: do like in New Yorker cartoon of a married couple
Speaker 1: getting their vaccines together and she's like he is like
Speaker 1: finally the vaccine and she's like, I want to divorce.
Speaker 1: All right, Joel, we probably need to go to break.
Speaker 1: I know, I know it's Bill's job to tell everyone
Speaker 1: and build you. We got a couple more seconds we
Speaker 1: got we got a couple more second before break to go.
Speaker 1: I do I do have to go to go, guys,
Speaker 1: I have to go make television happen. I'm about to say,
Speaker 1: how many shows you got coming this year? A bunch
Speaker 1: of shows coming. Eadline if everyone not in the business.
Speaker 1: Deadline is is sort of the most popular trade website
Speaker 1: and uh and it announces things that have happened to
Speaker 1: people and if if a day goes by without Bill
Speaker 1: Lawrence getting another show. I think Deadline's broken crap. I'll
Speaker 1: do that some other time with you guys. I'm enjoying
Speaker 1: this vibe too much. And the holidays and Zach. That
Speaker 1: was a very nice present. You got Donald and donald
Speaker 1: a love of the joke version of it. Um hate.
Speaker 1: But I only think I'm proud of you Donald that
Speaker 1: in front of Bill. You sold the shit out of
Speaker 1: that joke and fooled me. That's a great moment, but
Speaker 1: it was mean. You don't know how much fucking work
Speaker 1: I put into getting those shoes. Can I tell you?
Speaker 1: And I tell you this is why my wife and
Speaker 1: Bill are like soul mates from another universe and it'll
Speaker 1: never happen in this universe. Bill, I'm just put it
Speaker 1: out there. But there's so it's from another universe. Why
Speaker 1: she would do that shit, She's the one that told
Speaker 1: me to do it. I was like this, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: she was like, I mean, and I know. And when
Speaker 1: she said that, I was like, that's something Bill would
Speaker 1: have told me to do. That's so mean, you know. Bill.
Speaker 1: I always say to Bill and Christa that they met
Speaker 1: at mean camp because they love a mean they love
Speaker 1: a mean joke. But if you have a backboard of love.
Speaker 1: If you know it comes from a place of love,
Speaker 1: It's okay. Look, I also want to say, not only
Speaker 1: am I grateful for this podcast, but I do want
Speaker 1: to tell Donald and Joel that my son Henry, who
Speaker 1: is you know, as much of a Star Wars psychotic
Speaker 1: as as as you all did, take the time as
Speaker 1: he was building his lego Baby Yoda to say, even
Speaker 1: though he's not super down with this podcast, he would
Speaker 1: definitely make the Star Wars podcast a weekly thing in
Speaker 1: his life. Thank you so much. Him. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: but I am. I'm mad by the way. It hurt
Speaker 1: my heart. Zach. He I like him though, because he
Speaker 1: watched Scrubs beginning to end, and my eldest son will
Speaker 1: not only will he not watch it, but it's a
Speaker 1: position of pride he's now because he's already gone through
Speaker 1: the Office and Parks and Wreck and now he's just
Speaker 1: finding like other series at the time to watch. I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: watch Scrubs. He does. But they both love but they
Speaker 1: both are are our jocks, and they both love Ted Lasso.
Speaker 1: I assume they got sucked in by Ted Lasso because
Speaker 1: it's sports. But anyways, happy holiday, Happy New Year. Thank
Speaker 1: you guys. I love you back, I love you Bill
Speaker 1: and gonna go to break in. We'll be back and
Speaker 1: we're bad bad. By the way, I Peloton today and
Speaker 1: I got to say Cody had me laughing my ass off,
Speaker 1: which I did one it's pretty recent. Um, if you're
Speaker 1: on Peloton, it's within a couple of weeks or it's
Speaker 1: definitely it might even be this year. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But it was a it was a you know pop ride,
Speaker 1: you know pop music ride, thirty minutes and he just
Speaker 1: had me laughing and more Florence Iron than Jim. And
Speaker 1: She's looking over me and I'm spinning. She's like, why
Speaker 1: are you laughing. I'm like, this guy's hilarious. He's funny.
Speaker 1: He makes me laugh. I think you should have Mode.
Speaker 1: I would think should him on the podcast. I would
Speaker 1: love to have Cody on the podact because you know what,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't normally like just think of a random health
Speaker 1: you know, fitness instructor. But because I think he was
Speaker 1: a stand up. Um is that his thing? Is that
Speaker 1: what he did? I think he was a stand up.
Speaker 1: By the way, I loved that. I before I took
Speaker 1: a lot of Cody Cloud his question that he might
Speaker 1: be gay or not, because in this class he's the
Speaker 1: gayest gay ever. It's so funny. He's talking about Vegas
Speaker 1: and he's like, because he was playing that song Waking
Speaker 1: Up in Vegas, Miley Cyrus, is that the song? And
Speaker 1: and he's talking about how as as a gay guy,
Speaker 1: He's like, Vegas is not made for me, because you
Speaker 1: know it's all about they give all the hot chicks
Speaker 1: free entrance into the club, and they're trying to make
Speaker 1: me pay forty bucks and I ain't trying to pay
Speaker 1: forty bucks to get in the club. And he went
Speaker 1: on this, he went in this whole rant. It was
Speaker 1: so funny. Anyway, there were different things. There were multiple
Speaker 1: times was like, you're you guys, you're working out and
Speaker 1: you're sweating your ass off, but you're also laughing because
Speaker 1: the guy's like a former stand up comedian. Well, a
Speaker 1: lot of people listening to fake doctors when they work out,
Speaker 1: so we don't want them to necessarily switch over to
Speaker 1: Cody when they're working out. I wonder if Cody is
Speaker 1: I wonder if Cody is the most u used teacher. Probably,
Speaker 1: I think the only way to probably I think the
Speaker 1: only way to make this work is if we can
Speaker 1: get him on the show. Yeah, we can get him. Well,
Speaker 1: I want to try and get Cody. I think his
Speaker 1: last name is Rigsby. Yeah. Oh, and then he did
Speaker 1: this whole bit about he had Selene Diona is one
Speaker 1: of the songs. And then he had this whole bit
Speaker 1: about how like I can see myself listen to this,
Speaker 1: I'm back in high school. I'm back in high school.
Speaker 1: Tell mom to pull the cassette out of the glove box. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it was I mean, I'm not I'm not doing it justice,
Speaker 1: but it was funny. The only thing that annoys me?
Speaker 1: Does this annoy you? All the shout outs to people,
Speaker 1: like while you're spinning, they're like so and so, congrats
Speaker 1: on your Hunter ride, so and so. You got this
Speaker 1: Like but it's like we do here time. But it's
Speaker 1: like we do here, man, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: We shout out, you know, to people like you know
Speaker 1: Period and Sergeant and you know Romney, and you just
Speaker 1: get Mitt Romney a shout out ramone. Um, yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I we stink. By the way, As I was spinning
Speaker 1: and thinking this was annoying me, thought Romney yeah, no Romney, MA, dude, no,
Speaker 1: I want okay, but I wanted to say that, um no,
Speaker 1: it just annoys me, like sometimes like it's okay to
Speaker 1: be quiet. You know, you don't have to give all
Speaker 1: the shout outs. But I'm gonna tell that when we
Speaker 1: have Cody on the show, I'm gonna give him notes.
Speaker 1: Don't even though even though he's probably the most popular peloton,
Speaker 1: Please do not do that. Don't give Cody notes toty
Speaker 1: constructive criticism. You don't have to give all these people's
Speaker 1: shout outs. My senses, they must have data that's that.
Speaker 1: People say they like the shout outs, but it's annoying.
Speaker 1: I think it's annoying. Like you if you if you
Speaker 1: reached your ten thousandth ride, right, these people must be
Speaker 1: in such shape because it's like years. You can look
Speaker 1: on the leaderboard and it'll show you, like I I
Speaker 1: you can make it go away because I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't like looking at it. But if you're if you're
Speaker 1: someone who's probably like Casey, who's like up there, she
Speaker 1: tries to get to the top of the leader Yeah,
Speaker 1: these people, I can't believe how fast and how hard
Speaker 1: they must be spinning to be at the top of
Speaker 1: that leaderboard because I'm like in the fucking nether regions.
Speaker 1: I'm like an outer space, like whoever's number one or
Speaker 1: number two? Yeah, it's like it's probably what's his name
Speaker 1: with the professional cyclist on a Lance Armstrong with all
Speaker 1: his fucking steroids in him. Yeah, yeah, Lance can't compete anymore.
Speaker 1: But he's just fucking voided up on the pellotie beating
Speaker 1: his chest, eating his chest. All right, let's let the
Speaker 1: guests in, Daniel Goodman, all right, let's give it up
Speaker 1: for to crap. All right, there she is. Oprah, Okay, Opra.
Speaker 1: Come on, Daniel, you're gonna cut that out. That was
Speaker 1: so annoying. People are gonna turn off the podcast. Daniel,
Speaker 1: I'm not turning my key. Don't cut that dash that
Speaker 1: shit out makes it way low. Tosh Grants, don't turn
Speaker 1: your key, Tash, don't turn your kish, turn your key,
Speaker 1: don't turn Here's the problem. Here's the problem, Daniel, is
Speaker 1: that I'm worried that Tash is not going to get
Speaker 1: hurt by as many people because at that moment they're
Speaker 1: all gonna go fuck this loud ass podcast. Oh I
Speaker 1: think I could actually give Donald the run for his money.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty loud. Okay, well we'll just mix it low.
Speaker 1: Then you're welcome. You're welcome toosh. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Where are you Where are you joining us from. I'm
Speaker 1: from Australia, Oh down Under? Yeah, well good day mate.
Speaker 1: What time is it tomorrow? That's correct, Yeah, it's Saturday
Speaker 1: morning here, it's ten past nine in the morning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. Scrubs was very popular down under. Donald,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that it was, Yes,
Speaker 1: very popular. I've been to Sydney and I feel very,
Speaker 1: very very important in Sydney. I went and hung out
Speaker 1: in Australia way before I got Scrubs. It was for
Speaker 1: remember the Titans. We went and did press in Australia.
Speaker 1: I found out that Clueless was pretty popular in Australia too. Yes,
Speaker 1: they have a good sense of humor down down there. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love Australia. I swam into Sydney Harbor, which is
Speaker 1: crazy because I hear that it's loaded with sharks. I
Speaker 1: don't think you're supposed to swim in Sydney Harbor. Its
Speaker 1: for boats. Why are you swimming? Well, we were going
Speaker 1: to you know, that little island that's you know, that
Speaker 1: little island that's like right outside of the Sydney Harbor.
Speaker 1: We took a boat ride and anchored like off the
Speaker 1: shore of that and I jumped into the water and
Speaker 1: swam to the island and hung out on the island
Speaker 1: and by the island. It was okay. But I don't
Speaker 1: know if you want to like jump in Sydney Harbor,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I learned that that. I learned that
Speaker 1: that water is infested with sharks like that if like
Speaker 1: it's like shark heaven, like you know, when if if
Speaker 1: if if, if, if it were to happened, if my
Speaker 1: fear of dying by shark were to happen, that was
Speaker 1: that was it right there. That was the closest ants
Speaker 1: I got to it. Like I remember swimming through the
Speaker 1: waves and back to the boat from the beach and
Speaker 1: thinking all I was going to see was a big
Speaker 1: mouth coming from one of the waves to eat me. Man.
Speaker 1: It was like I was so afraid. We did was
Speaker 1: that in the Bahamas when we did the Bahamas episode,
Speaker 1: we went we went swimming at night like skinny getting drunk,
Speaker 1: and the people were like, oh my god, you guys
Speaker 1: that is the prime shark feeding time, like where you
Speaker 1: don't know, Rob. Rob said that there's two black tip
Speaker 1: sharks that swim in the in the in the at
Speaker 1: the beach area during that time. The reason why people
Speaker 1: were clowning us was because it was a thunder and
Speaker 1: lightning storm outside and we were in the water acting.
Speaker 1: We were so freaking drunk and shark infested waters with
Speaker 1: a lightning storm happening, and we're laughing and everything, and
Speaker 1: that's how that also, that's what happened with Randall. Just
Speaker 1: say no to alcohol. Kid. All right, Tush, what's your
Speaker 1: question for any of us? Welcome, welcome, welcome, Hello, hello, um, well,
Speaker 1: thank you. How are you guys going? Um? We we're okay,
Speaker 1: We're okay, We're glad to be here. Yeah. Good. How
Speaker 1: is it over there? Are you guys? You guys are
Speaker 1: out and about all right? You're not on lockdown, are you? Ah? Well,
Speaker 1: some of our some states are so Queensland, which is
Speaker 1: actually my home state. Um, the south part of Queensland
Speaker 1: is in lockdown this this weekend. I don't get the
Speaker 1: whole three day lockdown as opposed to like a longer,
Speaker 1: a little bit longer period. We did have a lockdown
Speaker 1: last year, like my city, but that was like so minimal.
Speaker 1: Victoria got hit pretty hard. They were lockdown for quite
Speaker 1: a while. But all in all, we're we can we
Speaker 1: can't go about there. Pretty yeah, life is pretty normal.
Speaker 1: We still have we still have the hotspots and stuff
Speaker 1: that we need to be careful about, but definitely not
Speaker 1: like other countries like you, like the United States of America.
Speaker 1: You mean like Angeles, where like the trees have COVID,
Speaker 1: everything has COVID. That's insane, It's it's yeah, it's scary.
Speaker 1: I think this is any normal, that's all. Like we
Speaker 1: just were under LA is so underwater. I mean, it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's such a shame because you'd think I would
Speaker 1: I would have hoped that um that that that that
Speaker 1: Los Angeles could have done a better job could have been.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I live here. I root
Speaker 1: for the city. You know, it has a lot of problems,
Speaker 1: but I but I but I root for it, and
Speaker 1: I just I think it's embarrassing how how horribly this
Speaker 1: has been handled here. Yeah, and it's just been going
Speaker 1: off so long now, like and honestly, I it just
Speaker 1: feels like there's no end inside. This can't be any
Speaker 1: normal like we just it's everything just comes to us
Speaker 1: absolutely grinding helps. I think that I think that the
Speaker 1: obvious thing is that the vaccine is going to be
Speaker 1: the only thing that that unburies us. At least that's
Speaker 1: the vaccine. Vaccine that Daniel said it himself. I think
Speaker 1: maybe Daniel Danson, maybe I heard Fauci saying, I'm confusing
Speaker 1: one of those. Both they're both as wise on the top,
Speaker 1: they're both wise. Daniel, why didn't you say I honored you?
Speaker 1: What the fuck? You know? You never? That's like will
Speaker 1: Is saying something crazy and Arnold not saying what you
Speaker 1: talking about? Willis? I teed you up for your catchphrase. Truly, Um,
Speaker 1: there's never been ever in the history of herd immunity
Speaker 1: natural herd immunity, never in the history of herd immunity. Right,
Speaker 1: and so where we are right, the only time to
Speaker 1: spent the reason why the Spanish flu UH became non
Speaker 1: existent is because of UH vaccine, You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And that's the that's the only true I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is this is the honest of goodness truth. It
Speaker 1: just sounds like like you and so now we're at
Speaker 1: a point where everybody and and this is this, this
Speaker 1: is to each their own you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, do what you do, what you want. It's
Speaker 1: I feel like, and I don't want to conspiracy this situation,
Speaker 1: but I feel like there are too many people that
Speaker 1: aren't willing to take the vaccine, and then there are
Speaker 1: a bunch of people that are willing to take the vaccine,
Speaker 1: so and they're there so to make it so that
Speaker 1: essential workers, when essential workers are saying I don't want
Speaker 1: to take it, or to make it so that uh,
Speaker 1: you know, even older people are saying I don't want
Speaker 1: to take it, there should be a pool. Then if
Speaker 1: that's the case my opinion, everybody else's opinion, but my opinion,
Speaker 1: there should be a pool where if you don't want
Speaker 1: to take it, it goes to the people that do.
Speaker 1: I think, um Biden just is saying that he's going
Speaker 1: to change it. They've been holding the second dose so
Speaker 1: like if one hundred doses come in, they hold fifty
Speaker 1: so that those first fifty that got it can have
Speaker 1: the second fifty second. That was the that was the
Speaker 1: Trump policy, and Biden, I believe, is just announced that
Speaker 1: they're they're not doing that. They're gonna fucking give out
Speaker 1: the hundred dos and and and and expect that the
Speaker 1: other ones are going to come in on time to
Speaker 1: give everyone their second dose. I have no idea if
Speaker 1: that's a good idea bad. But anyway, let's let's let's
Speaker 1: let's refocus on our friend from down under. What is
Speaker 1: your question? I just wanted to actually just show you
Speaker 1: my shirt as well. Oh that's nice. That's a fole
Speaker 1: Eagle shirt. That's a nice shirt. But that's not a fake,
Speaker 1: doctor's real. You're like the gallon. You're like the gall
Speaker 1: in the parking lot that buys the off off brand
Speaker 1: concert shirts. I'm just Kidding's cute. I'm just kidding. Wonderful fan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: go ahead. Okay, So, um my questions and I'm was
Speaker 1: trying really hard not to be lame and actually read them,
Speaker 1: but you know, the nerves do kicking a little bit.
Speaker 1: So like your friendship, both you Zack and Donald, like
Speaker 1: everyone who knows you and listens to you, and what
Speaker 1: she's just showing? What have you? Just see it? There
Speaker 1: incredible bond that you both have. Um and you know,
Speaker 1: when you spend so much time with people that you
Speaker 1: start easily mirroring their behaviors. Do you recognize any of
Speaker 1: your own personal traits in each other? We have a
Speaker 1: lot of the same. We have a lot of the
Speaker 1: same catchphrases like, we have a lot of the same.
Speaker 1: What you're talking about Willis's like, come my own buddy,
Speaker 1: and we jack and we jack. Come on buddy. From
Speaker 1: a Dave Chappelle Dave Chappelle uh stand up where he's
Speaker 1: talking about smoking weed with his best friend Chip No
Speaker 1: No No, where he's talking about no instead, where he's
Speaker 1: talking about chicken, right fried chicken, and how he goes
Speaker 1: to a restaurant and the guys like and he says,
Speaker 1: he sits down, and the white waiter comes up to
Speaker 1: him and he goes, I think I'll have and a
Speaker 1: white waiter cuts him off and goes to the chicken.
Speaker 1: He goes, what how did you know I wanted the chicken?
Speaker 1: And the waiter goes, my own buddy, come my own buddy.
Speaker 1: Sokmon buddy came from that I forgot That's where Kamon
Speaker 1: Buddy was taken from. We stole it from Dave Chappelle's
Speaker 1: stand up, but it it became it became something that
Speaker 1: we said, like for every time somebody was bullshit and
Speaker 1: we said it. And so that's where so we have
Speaker 1: catch phrases that we but as far as like, uh,
Speaker 1: we're two different people, you know, we have the same
Speaker 1: sense of humor, I would say that we do share
Speaker 1: in common, but which that's two different point people. Well,
Speaker 1: I would say that's the most interesting thing about our friendship,
Speaker 1: had even had it not um been on display for
Speaker 1: for nine years, is that we couldn't come from more
Speaker 1: different backgrounds and the exact same stuff makes us laugh.
Speaker 1: We don't have all the same interests obviously, but but
Speaker 1: but we if we're at if we're at an event,
Speaker 1: or we're at a party, or we're in an environment
Speaker 1: together and something happens whatever, the exact same thing will
Speaker 1: make us laugh. We have the same the same thing
Speaker 1: makes us laugh. And we also have like a decade
Speaker 1: of inside with each other because you know, how often
Speaker 1: are you how often are you spending this much time
Speaker 1: with your best friend? I mean most people never will,
Speaker 1: but we spend so many hours being silly together. That
Speaker 1: was our job. It's like our job for a decade
Speaker 1: was to like be together and be funny as be
Speaker 1: as funny as we possibly could. Um. So, I think
Speaker 1: that we just have like I could make a noise
Speaker 1: and it'll make him laugh because we he'll know, he'll
Speaker 1: know that inside joke. You know. It's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: really interesting. It's like you know. Uh. I think that
Speaker 1: that's also what makes our friendship so strong, is that
Speaker 1: it comes from a very happy place and a very
Speaker 1: uh you know, it comes from laughter. I think that
Speaker 1: was the first time we were both. I think our
Speaker 1: first time laughing together was like, Yo, this feels good.
Speaker 1: Let's you know, uh, let's keep the ball, let's keep
Speaker 1: it going, and been together. No sense, all right, Next question,
Speaker 1: m I Hey, And actually I didn't realize this because
Speaker 1: I'm an actor and I don't I you know, know
Speaker 1: nothing about Yes, not yet. I really can't see that
Speaker 1: ever happening. Um But like even just listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast and certain things that you Zach especially you've done that,
Speaker 1: I go, oh, wow, that's actually not him acting in
Speaker 1: the show. That's actually him your laugh both your laughs
Speaker 1: is so infectious, craps me out. Um. So, with your
Speaker 1: actual characters on this show, do you think any of
Speaker 1: your characters rubbed off on you? Or did you did
Speaker 1: you put more of yourself into the character, into your
Speaker 1: own characters. I think that they were the reason. I
Speaker 1: would say, the reason Daland and I got the Pirates
Speaker 1: was that we saw what was so funny about each
Speaker 1: of the characters and then and embodied them. And then
Speaker 1: once Bill saw us and the pilot was picked up.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, you don't write any of the scripts
Speaker 1: past the pilot until it gets chosen. And you make
Speaker 1: the pilot, and then you wait, and then it gets
Speaker 1: chosen and then the show Bill hires a writing staff,
Speaker 1: and then you go off and make two through whatever.
Speaker 1: And I think when they made started making two through whatever,
Speaker 1: they were able to use the real friendship that had
Speaker 1: already started between Donald and I and just start, you know,
Speaker 1: shaping it around who we who we were. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, good writers, um, when they have the opportunity,
Speaker 1: will go, let me write to who that person is.
Speaker 1: And I think that little by little, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: lots of traits of who we are became who the
Speaker 1: characters were. Right Donald, I totally agree with that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I ship that I ship that ship that I thought
Speaker 1: ship is when you root for a celebrity relationship A
Speaker 1: ship is when you put any couple together. A lot's
Speaker 1: often used when describing fandoms, particularly couples that didn't make
Speaker 1: it to screen but you wanted them to. Oh, the
Speaker 1: relationship is Donald. I don't think I've ever said this
Speaker 1: to you, but I think you may have used this
Speaker 1: um this term incorrectly. This this I think I did.
Speaker 1: I think You've always been my You've always been my
Speaker 1: sense here when it came to pop culture slang, and
Speaker 1: I think you I'm sorry, sir, I'm sorry. A Jedi master,
Speaker 1: I think he used ship wrong. No, because there's a
Speaker 1: relationship between the writers and the actors that you're talking about.
Speaker 1: So I shipped that, Joel Joel Buzzer, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I don't like being in the middle, Jane Danel. Would
Speaker 1: you put one of those you know in the family feud,
Speaker 1: you know, in the family feud when you get three
Speaker 1: x one of those there? Please? All right? I don't
Speaker 1: get an X. Yeah, say you don't have a fucking
Speaker 1: survey going right now. There can't be a committee. This
Speaker 1: is not a committee. There's not enough of us to
Speaker 1: discuss this as a committee. We asked one hundred people
Speaker 1: if Donald's definition of ship was right or wrong? Surybody
Speaker 1: says what I would like to host? One one person
Speaker 1: said that ship Joel, not one person, No one person
Speaker 1: the grade that I disagree. I disagree. Survey says, shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up, Zach, and let's move on, all right?
Speaker 1: Shut up? Does Steve Harvey still host Family Feud? Yeah?
Speaker 1: He's great at it too. By the way, Steve Harvey
Speaker 1: is very funny, but every time he makes me laugh,
Speaker 1: it's the same fucking thing, which is the deadpan face, right,
Speaker 1: the dead pant Steve Harvey look away. They ship where
Speaker 1: like someone says something out rady send, he just dead
Speaker 1: pants looks away. That will make me laugh every single time.
Speaker 1: It's incredible. And he obviously knows it because he puts
Speaker 1: it in every Family Feud episode I've ever seen. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's ever like a guest celebrity
Speaker 1: family Feud host? Do you ever see? Do you ever
Speaker 1: would like to do it? Do you ever watch right?
Speaker 1: I'm not going to Richard Dawson and make out with everyone,
Speaker 1: but let's put it out there, y'all. So let's let's
Speaker 1: put it into the eat the Family Feud. If you're
Speaker 1: ever looking for a celebrity guest host. Yes, Zach Braff
Speaker 1: is willing. I've never had a desire to host a
Speaker 1: game show, but it just came to me that I
Speaker 1: would be a great family feud host because I would
Speaker 1: do this Steve. I would do this Steve Harvey dead.
Speaker 1: I would just kind of do the dead pan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would just I mean, like, Steve, thank you for
Speaker 1: letting me guest host. You go off on a yacht somewhere.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that your dead pant, Steve Harvey. Look, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, when it comes to family feud, that
Speaker 1: always is the term that is associated with the host
Speaker 1: go off on a yacht somewhere because you've got that
Speaker 1: crazy ass money. You know. I think Steve Harvey has
Speaker 1: like eleven jobs, and he must. Don't you think Richard
Speaker 1: Dawson did too, And don't you think like Louie Anderson
Speaker 1: when he was hosting. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: that either of those gentlemen were ever as rich as
Speaker 1: I imagine Steve Harvey is. I imagine Steve Harvey like
Speaker 1: must be so loaded because the man I think he like,
Speaker 1: he like leaves one very high paying job to go
Speaker 1: do another high paying job, right, Steve is Yeah, I
Speaker 1: imagine he's very I don't know. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know his bank account, but I imagine he's very
Speaker 1: very Yeah, I think Steve's probably been on a yacht
Speaker 1: or two. All right, Internet estimates two hundred million dollars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. The internet's never wrong, Donald, never You
Speaker 1: get a lot of information from the Internet. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: let's do America. Sorry, let's do Australia's favorite segment. Donald,
Speaker 1: it's time to fix your life. Hey, Daniel, maybe you
Speaker 1: can add a little disery do and in this particular segment,
Speaker 1: no problem, it's just after it's like, yeah, yeah, after
Speaker 1: the drill, after the drill sounding effect, Daniel put the
Speaker 1: you look like you're chugging cock. So did you you
Speaker 1: said that because you look like you chugging cock. I
Speaker 1: don't look like you're doing like this. Your audience. He's
Speaker 1: got two hands up as though he's giving a blow
Speaker 1: jug an enormous hand. He's like, I had a little
Speaker 1: tiny hole. No, no, your your fake disgerd was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, you're disgery do. It was like when you
Speaker 1: saw you saw you there's two ladies present, Donald, come on, present, Daniel,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear this ship, don't You don't
Speaker 1: one who started it? Yeah, Oh, if you're a disrey
Speaker 1: du player, your family definitely thinks it looks like you're
Speaker 1: chugging a big talk. God fuck sake, stop talking about
Speaker 1: your women. Sorry, sorry, all right, all right, it's time
Speaker 1: to fix your life, darling. How can we help you?
Speaker 1: Oh man, Well, in the same vein of friendships and stuff,
Speaker 1: I have two boys, young boys, um, a fourteen and
Speaker 1: a ten year old, and they fight all the freaking time.
Speaker 1: It's just it's to the stage that enough fisticuffs type fights.
Speaker 1: They just at each other all the time. Give give
Speaker 1: me my husband's advice, like, how do we how do
Speaker 1: we get them to get along? It's even to the
Speaker 1: stage that it's like nearly you're breathing my air type
Speaker 1: of fight, Like, just crap, it's not well, it's good
Speaker 1: to answer this because he obviously has many children. Donald,
Speaker 1: how do you get your kids to get along? You're
Speaker 1: young ones right now? What what do you do? Well?
Speaker 1: I really can't answer that because they're out in the
Speaker 1: back yelling at each other. I'm all I hear is
Speaker 1: my son screaming? They go at it. Man, that's I
Speaker 1: think that's normal. I think that's all kids. I remember
Speaker 1: when I was a kid and my brother and I
Speaker 1: we used to we used to go at it like
Speaker 1: for real, for real. I have scars on my body
Speaker 1: and then my like I have a hole. I had
Speaker 1: a hole in my head at one point from fighting
Speaker 1: my brother, who's three years younger than me, but he
Speaker 1: was he's bigger than me. Like, I can't call him
Speaker 1: my kid brother or my little brother because he's bigger
Speaker 1: than me, you know what I mean. Like, people meet
Speaker 1: my brother Dade, they meet my brother, and they'll be
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, yeah, I'm his younger I'm his
Speaker 1: older brother. And they'll be like, I thought you were
Speaker 1: his younger brother. Like yeah, see, like I'm the older
Speaker 1: I'm the older one. But Dad is the one that
Speaker 1: grew up a little bit harder than I did, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. He's tough, he's scary, he's tough. No,
Speaker 1: you don't want to ditte. That is true in my life.
Speaker 1: I've experienced that. I prefer when my brother's not upset
Speaker 1: and in that mode of aggression. Anyway, we fought like
Speaker 1: crazy when we were kids, like crazy, Uh, and it
Speaker 1: did come to fist the cuffs and we would we
Speaker 1: know we would. We went at it, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: Now he's my best friend, you know, when he's in town.
Speaker 1: We play golf every day together. You know, I named
Speaker 1: my son after him. You know. Like so it's like,
Speaker 1: I know they're at it. I know they're going at
Speaker 1: it right now, but look at look at it as
Speaker 1: they're bonding. I'm not saying let it go and keep
Speaker 1: and let them fight each other, but there's a lot
Speaker 1: of love in there, and it's it's and even though
Speaker 1: there's like my son says, I wish I didn't have
Speaker 1: a sister, and inside he doesn't wish that shit. I see,
Speaker 1: how is there any is there anything tash that they
Speaker 1: like to do in common? Regardless even if they do,
Speaker 1: it'll last for like two or three minutes and then
Speaker 1: it's on like one of them will do something and
Speaker 1: oh and it's really it's actually usually blessing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love my children that but the older one just
Speaker 1: pushes the younger one's buttons a little bit and it's, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: and my younger one's pretty chilled. He's not like impatient
Speaker 1: and you I mean I'm assuming you do the obvious things,
Speaker 1: like you know, if you do that again, we're taking
Speaker 1: away your phone or something like that. Right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it's a tall order, as
Speaker 1: Donald can attest to. I mean, again, I don't have kids,
Speaker 1: but it's seem from from having siblings. Kids in that age,
Speaker 1: you know, especially boys, they're just they're they're just wound up.
Speaker 1: You know, that's very hard. It's just it's kids period.
Speaker 1: It's kids period. Like I'm sure Joel remembers, you know,
Speaker 1: fighting with her brothers, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: it's it's it's just how it is, whether it's a
Speaker 1: boy or a girl, a girl and a girl, a
Speaker 1: boy and a boy, it doesn't matter. They're gonna go
Speaker 1: at it. That's just my brothers. There's not enough space.
Speaker 1: There's not enough space. I have a memory of my
Speaker 1: two older brothers and my sister and I were closer
Speaker 1: in age, and they were older than us, and they
Speaker 1: would be like the wrestling managers, and they'd get us all,
Speaker 1: me and my sister all riled up, and they'd be
Speaker 1: like our coaches in the corner, like oh WWF old school,
Speaker 1: old school managers and they're like, you get in there,
Speaker 1: and my sister would I would go in the middle
Speaker 1: of the room and wrestle and pull hair, and and
Speaker 1: then when we would scream and get everything we got,
Speaker 1: and then we'd get too hairy and they'd separated. Ita
Speaker 1: ing ing ing ing, Okay, okay, okay, good, you did good.
Speaker 1: Maybe he'll pull some much hair, but okay, get in there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so your brothers were doing. Your brothers will like, remember
Speaker 1: when we had all of that aggression, let's look at
Speaker 1: let's take shows and freaking zach and make them do
Speaker 1: that too. And they thought it was hilarious. I remember
Speaker 1: them being like sitting back and laughing, being like, this
Speaker 1: is hilarious watching it. Do your kids have their own
Speaker 1: like space? Oh yeah? We actually, Funnily enough, we moved
Speaker 1: twelve months ago because seriously, twenty twenty, I even forget
Speaker 1: about that year. So I forget that that was twelve
Speaker 1: months ago. We moved because we're in a really small house,
Speaker 1: and I said to my husband, I can't do it anymore.
Speaker 1: We can't live in a small house and kids are
Speaker 1: on top of each other. It's seriously, one would walk
Speaker 1: into the room and you could go three two one,
Speaker 1: and then it start and you're like, oh, for God's sake,
Speaker 1: like seriously, so we went okay, we moved into this
Speaker 1: big house and it is a big house. It's two stories.
Speaker 1: They got their own space, but they find each other
Speaker 1: and well, stop seeking each other out. It's not enough.
Speaker 1: It's not enough room. No matter how much space you have,
Speaker 1: it's never enough room. They find each other, Like, my
Speaker 1: son has a room dedicated just to hisself. My daughter
Speaker 1: goes to that room just too fun with him, just
Speaker 1: too fun. Well, literally stick, he'll be like, get the
Speaker 1: fucking I'll hear it. I'll hear her go to the room,
Speaker 1: and I'll hear please get out, please leave wilder please
Speaker 1: starts it too. Oh absolutely, He'll start off calm because
Speaker 1: he knows that, you know, we don't like I have
Speaker 1: an issue if he goes if something happens and he
Speaker 1: goes to one hundred, then there's no real discussion there.
Speaker 1: You've already gone to one hundred. See you later, right,
Speaker 1: So he tries to freaking maintain his composure because he
Speaker 1: knows one hundred means that's what are we discussing. You're right,
Speaker 1: one hundred. I can't talk to you like this. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Please get out. He's practicing at
Speaker 1: least he's trying. Wilder Wilder, Please get out of my broom,
Speaker 1: I said, get out. I can feel the coming Wilder.
Speaker 1: If you don't get out right now, I'm going to
Speaker 1: kill you. Yeah. And you hear it, and you hear
Speaker 1: it start and you've got to get up there before
Speaker 1: get You know what I mean, It's like it's they
Speaker 1: can't help it. You know what you need? You need
Speaker 1: the nanny from that show what's it called missus Doubtfire. No,
Speaker 1: there is like these shows like Nanny nine one one
Speaker 1: where she comes in. Yeah, you need one of those.
Speaker 1: They probably have one of those down in Australia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know Rus Poppins, I need Mary Poppins. Is that
Speaker 1: what you're telling me? There? There was a show, a
Speaker 1: reality show where like a woman who was like a
Speaker 1: British nanny would go and like set set when parents
Speaker 1: were like I'm out of ideas, help me, and that
Speaker 1: she would be like set down stern rules. I mean,
Speaker 1: in all seriousness, if it does escalate to the point
Speaker 1: where it's just your life is being affected, you might
Speaker 1: consider a counselor getting advice from a professional counselor, because
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure that some parents, you know, it's normal,
Speaker 1: kids are gonna fight. But if it reaches a point
Speaker 1: where you and your husband are like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: do we do? This is out of control, you might
Speaker 1: you might get, you know, get some counseling from someone
Speaker 1: who's a kid specialist who says, you know, here's some tools,
Speaker 1: because I certainly don't know what those are, but I
Speaker 1: imagine someone can have some Jedi mind tricks for your kids. Well, yeah, tools,
Speaker 1: tools are They do work. They do work. They work
Speaker 1: for a little bit until you forget that you have
Speaker 1: these tools that have been given to you, right right,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure that they do love each other.
Speaker 1: They do. They do like you know, when anything ever
Speaker 1: happens with friends or at school and stuff like the
Speaker 1: other in it, I'll come to school and I'll help
Speaker 1: you sort that out. And it's like, now, won't you
Speaker 1: actually we'll just pumpy breaks. But um, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just that they that antagonistic behavior and it just does
Speaker 1: our head in. It's like just some days there's just
Speaker 1: no harmony. Some days are fine. Podcast doesn't really have
Speaker 1: a lot of positive inspiration to having children, if I may,
Speaker 1: I don't have I obviously don't have children, but I
Speaker 1: just want to pair it something that Casey said before
Speaker 1: and just start with a question, do you allow your
Speaker 1: kids to play video games? Oh? Good, of course, yes,
Speaker 1: my three games in the house, husband, the kids. That's
Speaker 1: where it starts. Man, My kid gets the most aggressive
Speaker 1: right after he plays that video game. After the video game,
Speaker 1: that's when I get to should I'm not having it,
Speaker 1: I said. Daniel was probably about to say, is there
Speaker 1: a game they like in common? Right? Yeah? That is
Speaker 1: where I was going them again? Does stay keep them
Speaker 1: off the games? Man? Keep him off to games? As
Speaker 1: Daniel's gonna cry, Dane's gonna swipe you away. No, Daniel's
Speaker 1: a grown man. Daniel knows what. I'm sure he knows
Speaker 1: what video games can do to a grown man, and
Speaker 1: how grown men can zoe being stuck in a game
Speaker 1: like I'm staring at the microphone and I can't get
Speaker 1: off the game, and my whole life is surrounded. To
Speaker 1: buy a game, imagine being six years old or seven
Speaker 1: years old or twelve years old, and your life now
Speaker 1: surround it's involved with all it is is a game, Dude,
Speaker 1: that's just get him off the game. That's real talks
Speaker 1: as a parent. I see my son's best behavior when
Speaker 1: he's not playing video games. Oh look, you don't have
Speaker 1: to tell me towards that. I don't think we're I
Speaker 1: don't think we're helping today, Tash. We tried, but I
Speaker 1: don't know if we can say you're welcome. Donald. I
Speaker 1: think this might be the first time we've been stumped.
Speaker 1: I can say you're welcome, I can tell how are
Speaker 1: you welcome? You know why? You know why because everybody's everybody.
Speaker 1: You're not alone in this. This is what that is,
Speaker 1: how kids are. This is how the siblings are. And
Speaker 1: I promise you, I promise you. If they don't kill
Speaker 1: each other now when they're older, they're gonna love each other.
Speaker 1: They're gonna love each other more than anything, and and
Speaker 1: and the way you and you nailed it when you
Speaker 1: said it. If somebody would have beat up on the
Speaker 1: little one, the older one would be there so quick
Speaker 1: because all he's allowed to beat up on a little one.
Speaker 1: You know what idea would be like, you know, take
Speaker 1: their favorite thing away. I mean, like I said, I mean,
Speaker 1: take their like you know, if you if you raise
Speaker 1: your voice like that again, your phone's gonna get taken away,
Speaker 1: take their video game away. I mean, I'm sure you've
Speaker 1: tried all the obvious things. What don't I know? Do
Speaker 1: you want me to get no? No? No no, We've won.
Speaker 1: We run way long and I'll get no no no. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's your that's your other side. Also you in case
Speaker 1: you're gonna do a parenting podcast. All right, listen, Tash.
Speaker 1: You can stay on for the end because we finished
Speaker 1: the show. It was a very good one, and um,
Speaker 1: what can we tell you? We love you guys, right,
Speaker 1: don't we do? We do? Uh, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: We love you from Los Angeles all the way to Australia.
Speaker 1: Shows the show. The way we're recording the show now, um,
Speaker 1: we're like a week will be a week behind all
Speaker 1: of your major events and stuff like that. So for
Speaker 1: those of you who were worried that this podcast is
Speaker 1: getting too political, we'll be so far behind on policy
Speaker 1: now that it won't be relevant when we talk about politics.
Speaker 1: So guess what your prayers have been answered? Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 1: There you go. You're welcome. You're welcome, world, You're welcome.
Speaker 1: You pivoted to You're welcome earthcome all right. We love
Speaker 1: you everybody. I'll see you next week. Five six, Seven
Speaker 1: Stories about shore we made about a bunch of docs
Speaker 1: and nurses said, he's a story. Never so Yeado around here,
Speaker 1: Yato around here. M h.