Speaker 1: All back in the closet. Closet. We got Ryan Reynolds,
Speaker 1: We got Bryan Ryndos, We got Bryan Bryandos. He's on
Speaker 1: the cast. Excited Forest Ryan Reynolds is on I Loved Podcast. Hello,
Speaker 1: it's Bryan Rentals. Ryan. Yeah, it's Ryan Reynals. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I sound like DJ Collin, but I do. Listen,
Speaker 1: let's just talk everyone. I let you down, fans, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: You didn't let anybody down. You know who let somebody down?
Speaker 1: You know who let somebody down? It was me, it
Speaker 1: was I don't think it's that I want to I
Speaker 1: don't want to ever let anyone down, especially are fans.
Speaker 1: But I tried, and I came up short. Ryan. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, we emailed a bit. He he's making a movie,
Speaker 1: he's got a zillion companies, he's got his family. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to like I'm not wanted to like beg anybody.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be like. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be like annoying. I understand, I understand, I understand completely,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it's your fault. I will take
Speaker 1: full blame from No, he's not not doing the podcast
Speaker 1: because you once drunkenly hugged him. Dude, he's got of
Speaker 1: zillen things on his plate. And by the way, I
Speaker 1: watched the episode and I was kind of glad. I mean,
Speaker 1: it would have been fun to have him because we
Speaker 1: could talk about all the zillion things that have happened
Speaker 1: to him since since this happened twenty years ago. But
Speaker 1: I was, you know, he doesn't have a lot to
Speaker 1: do in the episode, and I was kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, he would have been doing it as a
Speaker 1: favorite to us and to just be cool, because he
Speaker 1: is a very cool guy. But you know, he doesn't.
Speaker 1: It sound like he has a ton to do as
Speaker 1: this character. So I was kind of like watching it
Speaker 1: going you know, I don't even want to what we
Speaker 1: talk about episode wise. It's not like he does some
Speaker 1: amazing thing in the episode He's got I didn't I
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk to him about the episode. I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to him about what he did to
Speaker 1: try its form from the guy that was in that
Speaker 1: episode to this felt guy who plays Deadpool. Now you
Speaker 1: just want to talking about his weight or his career.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about his weight and how he's
Speaker 1: keeping He would say, stop fucking eating fried chicken, asshole. Okay,
Speaker 1: now hold on one second, man, speaking from speaking from
Speaker 1: a person who loves fried chicken. One, how dare you
Speaker 1: to that sort of the eye of your your vice storm,
Speaker 1: I love fried chicken, that and pizza. Can't help it.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you something right now, Ryan Reynolds
Speaker 1: wasn't always just handsome dude that he was always He
Speaker 1: was on a show called Two Guys a Girl on
Speaker 1: a pizza place, and he was the he was the
Speaker 1: best friend. He was the chubby guy on the show.
Speaker 1: Wasn't chubby, bro. He was cute and charming, sure, But
Speaker 1: now he's not only cute and charming, he's also ripped
Speaker 1: and looks like a Don Greek. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: just want to say something. You are wanting to talk
Speaker 1: to someone who's had the most fascinating, amazing career trajectory,
Speaker 1: who totally did it on his own, Like he had
Speaker 1: all these movies going and a career going and totally fine.
Speaker 1: And what made him go from fucking zero to a
Speaker 1: thousand It was that he made Deadpool happened. He created,
Speaker 1: he manifested it, He whiteboarded that ship. That's what's interesting
Speaker 1: that his abs looking at You just gotta put him
Speaker 1: the word motherfucker. Peloton you peloton every day and stop
Speaker 1: eating ship you'll have fucking those abs. No, that's not
Speaker 1: it's not flush your weed. Flush your weed, Flush your weed,
Speaker 1: Joel Elder heart. No, I just know Donald so well
Speaker 1: that he gets high, says he's not gonna eat, gets
Speaker 1: the munches, makes fried chicken. Then feel sad. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know you do know me well, friend, you know me,
Speaker 1: you know me so well. This is so. As a
Speaker 1: matter of fact, this this morning, I'm in the kitchen
Speaker 1: this morning. If that, if that, if you understand, for breakfast,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about making fried chicken for breakfast this morning.
Speaker 1: You know what I have for breakfast? Nothing? Nothing, two
Speaker 1: shots of espresso because I do the intermittent fastening where
Speaker 1: I I wait to eat till what time I try
Speaker 1: and have dinner. We try, because I have live in
Speaker 1: executive holy shit, talented chef. We try and eat by
Speaker 1: eight and then neither one of us has breakfast, and
Speaker 1: then I will work out and then I will have
Speaker 1: a smoothie or something around eleven. Oh that sounds horrible, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's that's called intermittent. If you don't if you can.
Speaker 1: If you can stop eating early and don't and then
Speaker 1: and then skip breakfast and eat late, you can have coffee,
Speaker 1: then that helps. I mean, this is just my two cents.
Speaker 1: I'm not a fucking nutrition I just wish. I just
Speaker 1: wish it was easier than this. I wish it wasn't
Speaker 1: so hard. Are you eating a big breakfast? No? You
Speaker 1: know what I had for breakfast today? So I do
Speaker 1: a meal service, as you know, called trifactory, And this
Speaker 1: morning my breakfast was a turkey sausage and that's that's
Speaker 1: something you're eating. And a sweet potato hash and uh,
Speaker 1: they have some eggs and breakfast. Daniel and Joel, do
Speaker 1: you eat breakfast? I had a smoothie, that's not that
Speaker 1: wasn't a lot of food. First of all, sorry to
Speaker 1: cut you off, Joel, but that's not a lot of food.
Speaker 1: It's actually portioned to be in the zone that you
Speaker 1: need to be. Would you like to hire help Would
Speaker 1: you like to hire me to help you cut weight? No, motherfucker,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to help me. Try. I am
Speaker 1: looking for some extra COVID jobs. I would like to
Speaker 1: be your coach. No, I don't need you to help
Speaker 1: me cut weight. As a matter of fact, you know
Speaker 1: what I need. This is what I need. I need
Speaker 1: that golf simulated. Goddamn it, that's what I need. By
Speaker 1: the way, why do you want to simulator when the when?
Speaker 1: It seems to me the most fun part about golf
Speaker 1: is going out to a beautiful place with your kids.
Speaker 1: Now who you've successfully gotten into golf, and what now
Speaker 1: you want to be in the basement, like go out
Speaker 1: with your kids in the nature. Here's the thing about golf.
Speaker 1: You don't get good playing golf. You get good practicing golf.
Speaker 1: And once you're good practicing golf, then you take it
Speaker 1: to the course. So as a seriously, as an avid golfer,
Speaker 1: if I could go to the range every day, I would,
Speaker 1: but I can't. But if I could do it in
Speaker 1: my basement like you said, every day, I would. And
Speaker 1: it's just this golf simulator that you want. Could it
Speaker 1: be a Christmas present? Mean? Okay, So here's the deal.
Speaker 1: I've already got the thing that it takes to to
Speaker 1: keep that. It has a sensor that tracks your ball
Speaker 1: and adop the radar that tracks your ball. Ball right,
Speaker 1: already have that piece. What I need now is the
Speaker 1: screen that I hit into the projector yeah, and this
Speaker 1: is a kid. It is a kid, It is a kid. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's going to cost like six thou dollars or something. Unfortunately, Yes,
Speaker 1: that's how that's that's a really stupid way to spend
Speaker 1: six thousand dollars. Absolutely not if you play golf. If
Speaker 1: you play golf, it's a great way to spend it. Now,
Speaker 1: here's the problem with here's the problem with gold. Are
Speaker 1: you gasping so much more than six Well, depending, it
Speaker 1: could be so much more than theres what do you
Speaker 1: think thousand dollars golf? When you're looking you're looking at
Speaker 1: you're looking at the actual simulation the thing itself too.
Speaker 1: This is not this is with the actual uh. Contraction
Speaker 1: attracts your ball. So some of them travel like the
Speaker 1: track Men, which is one of the most expensive ones
Speaker 1: on the market and the best one on the market,
Speaker 1: is the one that turned all of these golfers who
Speaker 1: were having trouble with their short game, like Dustin Johnson,
Speaker 1: people like that. It turned them into short game specialists
Speaker 1: and now they can because of the exercises that the
Speaker 1: track Man comes with. That's the best one. That ship
Speaker 1: costs twenty thousand dollars. But she has a really stupid
Speaker 1: way to spend your money. That is, well, that is
Speaker 1: way too expensive. If I had, if I had easy money,
Speaker 1: just like he bought that rapper friend of his. Uh
Speaker 1: that that that all rain tank, I would buy you this, dude,
Speaker 1: if I had easy money. Oh my god, there's so
Speaker 1: many things that I would buy if I had Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness, gracious, imagine if I had. If I had
Speaker 1: easy money, I would definitely one. I would start my
Speaker 1: own animation company ahead and we would make stop motion
Speaker 1: movies that I just wanted to make, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. That doesn't necessarily have to make a profit.
Speaker 1: I would just make you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: would just make movies, put them out, I would distribute
Speaker 1: them because I got that easy money. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Joel, what would you do with your easy money?
Speaker 1: Oh my, She brings the mike closer to her mouth
Speaker 1: to manifest I would invest in Donald's company, and I
Speaker 1: would launch my first animated UH series. Yeah, Daniel, what
Speaker 1: are you gonna spend your easy money on? Cheese? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Probably I would probably buy I'll probably buy
Speaker 1: My dad had a nice car to pay him back
Speaker 1: for the money he spent on my education. And then
Speaker 1: and then, uh, actually, I would probably buy my parents house.
Speaker 1: That's what I would do. I buy my dad a
Speaker 1: car and buy my parents house because they don't need that.
Speaker 1: How they want to move out, they're ready to go.
Speaker 1: But I love that place. That's what's There's one last
Speaker 1: thing I would do if I had easy money, a
Speaker 1: second golf simulator for upstairs, because sometimes you don't want
Speaker 1: to go downstairs, right, Sometimes I don't want to leave
Speaker 1: my bedroom. I would buy my best friend a plane
Speaker 1: because he used to fly planes all the time. Look,
Speaker 1: my best friend used to wear jackets and aviator glasses
Speaker 1: and walk around. I just I just don't have a
Speaker 1: plane anymore. Well, I got my I got my pilot
Speaker 1: s license, and this was when I got really in
Speaker 1: the aviation, and I decided to spend a lot of
Speaker 1: money and I bought up an airplane. Wow, and I
Speaker 1: was flying all around. I was flying across the country.
Speaker 1: I was flying all over the all over the place.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, and then I and then I sold
Speaker 1: it because much like you hear about people with a boat,
Speaker 1: that expression boat stands for bring on another thousand. Well, uh,
Speaker 1: planes are very expensive, the education and the hangar, the maintenance,
Speaker 1: uh so much. And then I and which I could
Speaker 1: rationalize in my head if I was doing it every weekend,
Speaker 1: but then I wouldn't and then it would sit there,
Speaker 1: and then I'd go and it's just fucking money coming out,
Speaker 1: and I would just started to go, this is nuts.
Speaker 1: But Donald's right. When I make my easy money, I
Speaker 1: would like to get another airplane and get back into it,
Speaker 1: would you, Yeah, so you'd get you you'd graduate from
Speaker 1: the license that you'd have now and go, Yes, I
Speaker 1: had what's called the Visual Flight Rules License VFAR, and
Speaker 1: then I would I mean I could do this without
Speaker 1: owning a plane. Of course you can rent a plane,
Speaker 1: but I would go for i FR, which is instrument
Speaker 1: flight rules, meaning you can fly and inclement weather and
Speaker 1: in the clouds and without visibility. Wow, what's after that?
Speaker 1: To to propeller? You can get all sorts of add
Speaker 1: on to me. You can become an instructor, which is
Speaker 1: not just about teaching. It makes you even better than
Speaker 1: you can get multi engine. Then you can get jet.
Speaker 1: You know, all sorts of things. I'd love to I'd
Speaker 1: love to fly jet one day, and I'd like to
Speaker 1: be on my bucket list. But when I got my
Speaker 1: funny story, I got my the day I was supposed
Speaker 1: to take my flying tests. So, just like getting a car,
Speaker 1: you practice with your teacher, practice your teacher, practice teacher,
Speaker 1: and then you can go up um solo alone under
Speaker 1: certain restrictions, and then you eventually build two going up
Speaker 1: with the examiner in the plane and doing these maneuvers
Speaker 1: in order to pass the test. So, but you have
Speaker 1: to have a certain amount of hours to be able
Speaker 1: to take that test. So the day I'm all nervous,
Speaker 1: it's the day I'm going to take the flying test
Speaker 1: where where I'm gonna be the test examiner is gonna
Speaker 1: get in the passenger's seat and we're going to take off.
Speaker 1: My My teacher looks at my log book and he goes,
Speaker 1: oh shit, you're short, like three hours. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, and he goes, here's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1: It's about an hour and a half to Vegas. You're
Speaker 1: gonna fly to Vegas um and then land and then
Speaker 1: turn right back around and come back. And I was like,
Speaker 1: are you serious. He goes, yeah, because you could still
Speaker 1: make it and take the test today at one But
Speaker 1: just go now and come back. So I took off.
Speaker 1: Is anybody in a plane we know? I'm alone? And
Speaker 1: I fly to Las Vegas and I landed Las Vegas
Speaker 1: International Airport. I grabbed a bottle of water, and I
Speaker 1: turned back around and fly home. And I maintained to
Speaker 1: this day, I'm the only person that's ever flown to Vegas,
Speaker 1: grabbed a bottle of water, and flown home. Do you
Speaker 1: know all I hear when you did? All I heard
Speaker 1: when you were doing that is well in my mind,
Speaker 1: I see I'm map, and then I see a red dot,
Speaker 1: and then I hear and then the dot turns into
Speaker 1: this trail line that travels from uh southern California all
Speaker 1: the way to Las Vegas, and then it stops. There's
Speaker 1: a water and there's a water icon that shows up,
Speaker 1: and then it comes back and then Sunday. California is
Speaker 1: the perfect place for this hobby because it's always beautiful here.
Speaker 1: The weather is always nice, and there's so many places
Speaker 1: you can go. I would go to San Francisco to
Speaker 1: see my mom, and you can go to Vegas. You
Speaker 1: can go to Cabo, you could go to Palm Springs,
Speaker 1: you can go skiing, um you know at Mammoth, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's it's sort of the perfect place to to
Speaker 1: be a single engine. How long would it take for
Speaker 1: you to travel from l A to San France? Well
Speaker 1: about out. That's kind of cool, that's kind of cool.
Speaker 1: The only thing that the only thing that I remember,
Speaker 1: but the one thing that I remember, I shouldn't say
Speaker 1: the only thing. The one thing that I remember about
Speaker 1: this was you had to be on your p's and
Speaker 1: queues about what you did the night before. Of course
Speaker 1: you don't want to fly hungover, right, which brings me
Speaker 1: to first of all, I gotta get my notes, but
Speaker 1: it brings me to this episode. Wait, you might You
Speaker 1: must be a good fucking podcast host. We didn't tie
Speaker 1: it in, you know what I mean? Let me just
Speaker 1: go get my notes real quick, because well, why don't
Speaker 1: you count us in? As a matter of fact, while
Speaker 1: we're singing, maybe you should count us in. That's a
Speaker 1: good idea as a matter of fact. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what's that can? Right? Stories about show? We made nurses
Speaker 1: and stories yet around here? Yeah around here, a m
Speaker 1: that's where I get my plane tattoos. See, oh that's
Speaker 1: such a tattoo. So very good. Question, Joel. What I
Speaker 1: said to myself was I am going to manifest that
Speaker 1: I will one day have this plane, which is a
Speaker 1: Pilatus PC twelve. It's not what I had when I
Speaker 1: when I owned a plane before, I had a Serious
Speaker 1: s R twenty two turbo, which has a ballistic parachute
Speaker 1: in it. By the way, so if everything is fucked,
Speaker 1: if you're just like about to die and something really
Speaker 1: bad has happened, then you can't get control, you pull
Speaker 1: a lever and the plane is light enough so that
Speaker 1: a ballistic parachute shoots out of the plane and floats
Speaker 1: the entire plane to the ground. Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all part of this this particular brand, which is Serious.
Speaker 1: That's their safety, extreme safety measure. That's awesome. Could have
Speaker 1: a parachute, yeah, I mean, well, if it's if it's
Speaker 1: a work, if it's small and needs to be small.
Speaker 1: It's four seats and it's fiberglass and it's very light,
Speaker 1: so yeah, could that's how it works. So anyway, one
Speaker 1: day when I get back into it, I'd like to
Speaker 1: have this which is tattooed on myself, which is a
Speaker 1: Peladis PC twelve, which is pretty much the most badass
Speaker 1: single engine propeller plane you can have. I like that.
Speaker 1: You made yourself the white board. Oh, we're gonna like that.
Speaker 1: Donald Joel just pointed out that I made myself the
Speaker 1: white board because I had the plane. I want to
Speaker 1: one day get on my forearm. That's what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about right there, That's what I'm talking about. You did
Speaker 1: remind you know what I should do. I should paint
Speaker 1: some abs on my stomach so I can remind myself
Speaker 1: every time I walk into them. Why don't you just
Speaker 1: get on your forearm. Just get Ryan Reynolds uh stomach
Speaker 1: that you admire so much, either his or the Rocks,
Speaker 1: or you know, one of those cats. Kevin Hart's one
Speaker 1: of those cats. You know. It's funny. I once time
Speaker 1: to meet when he was married to Scarlett Johanson. I
Speaker 1: had a meaning with Scarlet about a film we were
Speaker 1: about to do together where I was going to direct.
Speaker 1: And I was trying to make small talk with Scarlett
Speaker 1: because I was nervous, and I said, uh, and Ryan,
Speaker 1: it wasn't even but this is long before Deadpool. He
Speaker 1: had abs for some other reason. He was on the
Speaker 1: cover of Men's Health just ripped and I was like
Speaker 1: making small talk and I was like, so you gotta
Speaker 1: ask Ryan how I get those abs? And she looked
Speaker 1: at me. She's like, every person I meet with wants
Speaker 1: to talk about my husband's abs. And I felt so
Speaker 1: stupid because I was like I had gone with the
Speaker 1: nervous small talk that everybody went with, right, And so
Speaker 1: I hate that when you think you're being original and
Speaker 1: someone's like everybody fucking says that to me. Okay, the worst.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about my husband's abs. So
Speaker 1: Dr Cox says something in here where he talks about
Speaker 1: plane pilots that are drunk and everything like that, it's
Speaker 1: not a job that you can What do you guys
Speaker 1: drinking at work? What do you think you are? Airline pilots?
Speaker 1: Which brought me back to one thing. But do you
Speaker 1: remember when we saw a flight flight? Yeah? I love
Speaker 1: flight Denzel Washington, Yeah, you had me at planes and hell,
Speaker 1: go ahead. Do you remember how blitzed we were at
Speaker 1: the movie theater that night? No, we were drunk watching
Speaker 1: a movie about an alcoholic We weren't really, we weren't drunk.
Speaker 1: We were stone to the bone. That's a good way
Speaker 1: to see a movie. Sure, I had no idea great movie.
Speaker 1: By the way, it's an amazing it's an amazing movie.
Speaker 1: And Dentell and Don Tito and John Goodman and everybody
Speaker 1: in the cast, they're really great in it. But I
Speaker 1: remember walking to going into the theater and being like,
Speaker 1: I have no idea what this movie is about. And
Speaker 1: the first half hour didn't see the trailer where he
Speaker 1: fucking spins the plane. I mean, that's what you didn't know.
Speaker 1: You just you sknew it was about the event you
Speaker 1: didn't know about alcoholic, right, I have, so I'm you know,
Speaker 1: you think like Pearl Harbor at the end of the movie,
Speaker 1: the fucking Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor. Right, so you wait
Speaker 1: this old movie for this event to happen. I thought
Speaker 1: that was what it was going to be. I thought
Speaker 1: the movie was gonna be this whole, you know, this
Speaker 1: man's story. And then he pulls a Sully yeah and
Speaker 1: freaking saves all of these people on the plane. Right.
Speaker 1: I had no idea that it was about being an
Speaker 1: alcoholic and being in a drug addict and being a
Speaker 1: pilot on a plane. Right, And so when Cox says
Speaker 1: this ship in the show, I just it made me
Speaker 1: think about that time we went and saw this movie
Speaker 1: and how how I was like, there's good funk out here.
Speaker 1: There is no way that this could ever happen. But
Speaker 1: apparently this is a real deal, especially if Cox is
Speaker 1: talking about it. Yeah at the well, this is keep
Speaker 1: in mind twenty years ago and there was a wave
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys remember of pilots being
Speaker 1: caught intoxicated. Um, they were either. The rule is actually
Speaker 1: eight hours, which, if you can believe, is ridiculous. It
Speaker 1: should be way longer than that, I believe, but your
Speaker 1: I think it's called bottle the throttle. That's what they
Speaker 1: call it in the aviation community. Eight hours bottle a throttle.
Speaker 1: So after your your your airline pilot could feebly unless
Speaker 1: I'm rolling down. No, no, let me just preface this
Speaker 1: by saying, these specific airlines might have more stronger restrictions,
Speaker 1: but as I understand, the f A a UH says
Speaker 1: eight hours, as you can have a drink eight hours
Speaker 1: before you fly. Wow, and just a drink, not multiple drinks,
Speaker 1: just a I mean, obviously you can't be over whatever
Speaker 1: limit it is, but I mean, I just think you
Speaker 1: know your your airline pilot again, I don't know if
Speaker 1: the airlines substricted rules, but f A A rules are
Speaker 1: your eyeline probably could be at midnight drinking and then
Speaker 1: fly you at eight am. I just think that's probably
Speaker 1: a little too close. But and this was another thing
Speaker 1: that I learned from Zach who when he got crazy
Speaker 1: into planes and stuff like that, that there are robots
Speaker 1: that are landing the planes most of the time. Well, nowadays,
Speaker 1: the modern day airplanes are just computer systems that the
Speaker 1: pilot is monitoring. Now, the pilot, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: usually takes off and usually lands. But no one is
Speaker 1: gonna fly better than a computer system. No, no human
Speaker 1: being can fly as well as as a computer. So
Speaker 1: the pilot is taking off and then around let's say
Speaker 1: a thousand feet above the ground ish, hitting autopilot, and
Speaker 1: the rest of it is and the plane knows where
Speaker 1: to go. It's been programmed, and you're just sitting there.
Speaker 1: That's why these guys will tell you, guys and gals,
Speaker 1: it's a really boring ass job, because you're basically then
Speaker 1: sit there for however many hours and just monitor that
Speaker 1: the computer doesn't sunk up. Now, of course, if there's
Speaker 1: a problem, you've got to be the most badass motherfucker
Speaker 1: and take over. But for the most part, all they're
Speaker 1: doing is taking off and landing. Yeah, but sometimes the
Speaker 1: computer landed for them too. Yes, they have a thing
Speaker 1: called auto land and that is UH and it has
Speaker 1: to be UM. This I don't know too much about,
Speaker 1: so I may be doing might ask a little bit,
Speaker 1: but I do know that it has to be used
Speaker 1: X amount of times UM. Like the plane UH log
Speaker 1: book will say this plane is due for an autoland,
Speaker 1: this flight is the one, and then the plane is
Speaker 1: auto landing. Of course they're monitoring and making sure it's
Speaker 1: doing the right job. But again you have to think
Speaker 1: about it like a computer, as long as it's not malfunctioning,
Speaker 1: is going to do everything better than the human brain.
Speaker 1: So it's you're there to kind of just spot it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Right. I've I've spoken to
Speaker 1: pilots after, you know, when you're exiting the plane, when
Speaker 1: you're deboarding, and they're saying goodbye, have a great time
Speaker 1: in whatever state that you're in at the time or
Speaker 1: whatever country, And I've asked was that you or was
Speaker 1: that the computer? And from my survey, what I've learned
Speaker 1: is the smoother landings are humans though, and the hard landings,
Speaker 1: the landings where you freaking are like, jeezus, the pilot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but don't you think what happened is that you went,
Speaker 1: you had a hard landing and you went. Was that
Speaker 1: you He's like, no, no, no, that was the computer.
Speaker 1: My mom's so embarrassing. My mom used to complain, like
Speaker 1: she's had a couple of My mom doesn't love flying,
Speaker 1: and when she's had a couple of hard landing, she says,
Speaker 1: she told me. I went to the customer service desk
Speaker 1: and complained. I was like, Mom, you didn't. That's like,
Speaker 1: no matter how great a pilot is, you know, not
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna be they called a greaser when you just
Speaker 1: fucking and you barely even feel it, Like, not everyone's
Speaker 1: going to be a greaser, Mom, Like you give them
Speaker 1: some slack. But dude, I remember we landed in St.
Speaker 1: Bart's and you and the dude popped his tires and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, and you were like, the pilot must
Speaker 1: be rusty, Yeah, musty must be a little rusty or yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, but there is by the way, when you
Speaker 1: when you get into flying and you and you have
Speaker 1: a greaser landing and it's just you just glided on
Speaker 1: the runway. Oh it's sexual. It's just so amazing and
Speaker 1: it's such a high. Alright, on that note, let's get
Speaker 1: into the summary. Oh, I have so much to talk
Speaker 1: about today. But yeah, we should probably talk about the show. Okay,
Speaker 1: La Land are we doing scrubs or La La Lands? Today?
Speaker 1: I could talk all day. We got a lot of
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of funny comments already about our
Speaker 1: our our La La Land rewatch podcast. People are very
Speaker 1: interested in that. People are very interested, very interested in
Speaker 1: the Joel's love life part the podcast. Now well, I
Speaker 1: noticed that Joel is very interested in getting that started
Speaker 1: with them pictures that she's posting on Instagram. Joe, No,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the photo of you just by yourself
Speaker 1: she got She's sun kissed and everything in this. You know,
Speaker 1: I only follow you guys on Twitter. I need to
Speaker 1: follow you guys on Instagram. But um, I had an
Speaker 1: idea Donald that I pitched to Will Wills are are
Speaker 1: overlord at I heeart that we get one of these
Speaker 1: dating apps to sponsor the segment, and that way we
Speaker 1: can get serious. So if you if you're listening and
Speaker 1: you're related to any of these dating apps, except for
Speaker 1: like maybe like you know, Farmers Only or Christian Mingle
Speaker 1: or j D eight farmers Only as dope. I heard,
Speaker 1: oh really, really you something tells me the woman that
Speaker 1: Joel is looking for is probably not on armors Only.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be lonely at farmers only dot com?
Speaker 1: Is that? That is the jingle? That is the dopest
Speaker 1: jingle ever. You don't have to be lonely at farmers
Speaker 1: only dot com. I remember there was an episode of
Speaker 1: The Batchel It must have been The Bachelor or The
Speaker 1: Bachelorette one of those, and the and the and the
Speaker 1: the girl went to the she was in love with
Speaker 1: this guy and he was amazing. It must have been Bachelorurette.
Speaker 1: And then she's like, oh my god, he's the one
Speaker 1: and it's time for her to go to where he lives.
Speaker 1: And it was like a farm in the middle of
Speaker 1: fucking nowhere in bumble fuck town, Like it's like the
Speaker 1: Shining but a farm. And he's like, so this is
Speaker 1: it and she was like, Uh, it wasn't that cute anymore.
Speaker 1: So you're trying to say that farmers, because of their location,
Speaker 1: have a hard time dating. Yes, I'm trying to say,
Speaker 1: unless you want the bumble fuck, middle and nowhere life,
Speaker 1: it's probably hard to find someone. That's why farmers only
Speaker 1: is a thing, so farmers can find people down with
Speaker 1: the program. Yeah, and Joel is a city girl who
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be up at five milk and cows.
Speaker 1: I'm up at five anyway, but I will not be
Speaker 1: milking a cow. Yeah, Joel wants to be up at
Speaker 1: five playing PS five anyway, So listen. Wait, I'm just
Speaker 1: saying we're gonna try to the proper channels through our
Speaker 1: overlord Will. But if any of y'all are connected to
Speaker 1: any of the dating apps, hit us up through my
Speaker 1: Heart because we want to make a segment about finding
Speaker 1: Joel a life partner, because the three of us are
Speaker 1: in love and we want to bring that joy to Joel.
Speaker 1: Joel do you want Yes, she does. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: go ahead. I am open to meeting new people and
Speaker 1: trying new things. Relationships are terrifying to me. Uh, you
Speaker 1: have to compromise and listen to people and like make
Speaker 1: time in your schedule for them, and it sounds like work. Um,
Speaker 1: but no, it's not. Wants to die alone. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of conflicting emotions about it. I
Speaker 1: don't know where I stand. I'm not because you're well
Speaker 1: in my mind, you're picturing. So maybe I'm guessing people
Speaker 1: you did in the past that haven't been a right fit.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying, put into your mind someone who is
Speaker 1: the perfect compliment to you. They are massaging your should
Speaker 1: what's that game you want to play on PS five
Speaker 1: that you're so excited about, Cyberpunk seventy seven. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: are massaging your shoulders while you're playing Cyberpunk seventy seven.
Speaker 1: Oh man, that is kind of the dream some of
Speaker 1: that sounds great. Uh, yeah, you know, I'm definitely I'm
Speaker 1: definitely down again. You guys have made my mom very happy.
Speaker 1: We've talked about it at like, like, are you really
Speaker 1: going to find you somebody? And like I feel like
Speaker 1: that's very determined, and when he's determined, things usually happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I make shuld happen. Joel, It's on my white board.
Speaker 1: Find Joella lovers on my whiteboard. Please don't get a
Speaker 1: tattooed on your body. Yeah, I'm gonna get a tattood
Speaker 1: on my body. So here's the thing, though you haven't
Speaker 1: said anything that makes me think that a Farmer's Only
Speaker 1: dot com isn't something like you got some side hustle
Speaker 1: money from farmers only dot com or something. No, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying the song. We still don't understand why Joel
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to be on farmers Only because look, she's
Speaker 1: talking about somebody massaging her shoulders while she plays a
Speaker 1: video game. I'm sure I'm listen that, No doubt, they massage.
Speaker 1: They massage cows teeth and they squeeze. They squeezed that,
Speaker 1: So imagine, no hands on your shoulders yours. She's just
Speaker 1: come from yanking some some goat teets and now it's
Speaker 1: on your shoulders. No, let's go big, Let's go big.
Speaker 1: It's not the little tiny goat teets. She's been yanking
Speaker 1: some freaking cow teats, some big home milk cow te
Speaker 1: I love the word teeth. Teeth teet is a funny word,
Speaker 1: just like some wild visuals from like five to five. Though, right,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be so tired when they come home. Do
Speaker 1: you ever have a nose hair that is pushing against
Speaker 1: the inner nostril and you feel it and you kind
Speaker 1: of want to pull it out with your fingernails, and
Speaker 1: no matter how much you try, it's still there tickling
Speaker 1: the inside. Anybody. I'm so sorry, Donald, you have out
Speaker 1: of control nose hairs. So shut up because I have
Speaker 1: told you. What did I say? Sometimes sometimes sometimes Donald's
Speaker 1: nose hairs commingle with his mustache hairs, and they like,
Speaker 1: they become friends. They like, they do a little dance,
Speaker 1: They become they become hybrid. Hairs may become hybrids. And
Speaker 1: then Donald goes like this, He takes both of his
Speaker 1: fingers and he yanks, and then of course he sneezes.
Speaker 1: I love the feeling of that type of pain. Like, look,
Speaker 1: there's times where I like, I like that sting. I
Speaker 1: like that little that little thing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like when I was when I used to box and
Speaker 1: spa all the time, that feeling of getting that little
Speaker 1: tap when you get punched in the face and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, when it would happen, it would I like
Speaker 1: that little feeling, that pop, that feel, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And so there is a world. You don't
Speaker 1: know it because it's taboo and you haven't tried it,
Speaker 1: but it seems to me you're a you're a candidate
Speaker 1: for someone who might be in S and M a
Speaker 1: little bit, no, because I don't like that ship to
Speaker 1: last longer than a couple of seconds, like that S
Speaker 1: and M ship looks like that ship, like I would
Speaker 1: be saying my safe word over and over and over again.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Please stop this ship right now.
Speaker 1: No more. I don't think that no more as as
Speaker 1: safe as it gets. No more, please, no more. I'm done.
Speaker 1: I'm done because Stafford has to be something like out
Speaker 1: of the norm that you wouldn't say like raisins, because
Speaker 1: if you forget that ship, if you forget that ship,
Speaker 1: and now you're going down the list, the list of
Speaker 1: all the words that you that you think are your
Speaker 1: safe raisins, salary, apricots, the traffic late system. Please stop, goddamnit,
Speaker 1: please stop. That's gonna turns into Okay, don't scream like that.
Speaker 1: We have listeners who are breastfeeding. This was a mistake.
Speaker 1: It was I'm stop. Damn. You're gonna have to cut
Speaker 1: that out or pot it way down. All right, let's
Speaker 1: get into your recap, my friend. We've adapted it so
Speaker 1: now it's a forty seven second recap. Let's see if
Speaker 1: you can do it in forty seven seconds, ready, let
Speaker 1: me hold on clearing looks, the last one says forty
Speaker 1: seven point seven one. Okay, here we go, baby and go.
Speaker 1: Ryan Reynolds guest stars as Turk and j D's frat buddy.
Speaker 1: He tells Cox Jordan's baby is his counsel's pushing Elliott
Speaker 1: to her breaking point. All of this while our gang
Speaker 1: is coming to the end of our second year. This
Speaker 1: episode is all about taking responsibility and owning our mistakes.
Speaker 1: That always, it's always great to take the credit when
Speaker 1: you're admired for your actions, but you have the guts
Speaker 1: to take the credit when you've cost people pain and
Speaker 1: or grief. On the flip side, and I know it's difficult.
Speaker 1: Do you have what it takes to forgive when you've
Speaker 1: been wrong by someone you care about? Yeah? Yeah, good,
Speaker 1: Well of course, now you go to thirty seven seconds,
Speaker 1: but um, you had ten more seconds to slow down. Um.
Speaker 1: I mean, let's just talk about the headline of this episode.
Speaker 1: That's so fucked up is that you know Jordan has
Speaker 1: been hiding from Cox that it's his baby. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's so fucked up, And how could you possibly I know,
Speaker 1: it's a TV show, But how in real life could
Speaker 1: you ever come back from from that? It's so deceitful. Well,
Speaker 1: love is a very very very very strong force, you know,
Speaker 1: and so we're gonna jump around obviously. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to the end of the show, when he finally
Speaker 1: says no, I want to do this and winds up
Speaker 1: punching Kelso in the face and everything like that, it's
Speaker 1: easy to forgive when you love, you know what I mean, Love,
Speaker 1: love conquers all that. These are real, that these songs
Speaker 1: and all of these you know, love songs and everything
Speaker 1: that are out there. They can't be wrong, these thousands
Speaker 1: and thousands and thousands of long love songs can't be wrong.
Speaker 1: And so to forgive there, it must be a ton
Speaker 1: of love there. And it's pretty clear at the end
Speaker 1: of the episode that he loves Jordan's and of course,
Speaker 1: of course, and he's in love with the child already.
Speaker 1: But I just don't understand how Jordan's I didn't really
Speaker 1: get clear on why other than a plot device, why
Speaker 1: was Jordan's hiding this from him. I don't don't want
Speaker 1: him to like fall in love with her or like
Speaker 1: be with her out of obligation like this allowed him
Speaker 1: to like walk away if he didn't want to be
Speaker 1: a part of her life. I feel like she still
Speaker 1: would have told him at the end of that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, But she needed to know, like
Speaker 1: what was between them with about them and not this baby. Well,
Speaker 1: if that's the case, why did she wait so long? Also, though,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like if if, if he's
Speaker 1: already he was clearly showing when a great father he
Speaker 1: was going to be to the child. Well he stuck
Speaker 1: around while she was going through the pregnancy. Also, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Right, Well, in this case, Cox
Speaker 1: is in love with her. He then falls in love
Speaker 1: with the with the baby, and is prepared to be
Speaker 1: true and step up and be an amazing parent. And
Speaker 1: then he finds out that everybody knows this secret but him.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just you know, imagine that happened to you.
Speaker 1: I would I think he'd belived And he forgives her
Speaker 1: pretty quick, is my point. Yeah, you know, he he
Speaker 1: loves her, he loves the kid, and I think if anything,
Speaker 1: it's a relief to him that this is what it is,
Speaker 1: this was what was ideal before before he finds out
Speaker 1: that you know, it's a relief when he finds out.
Speaker 1: I think also, even though he's afraid and everything like that,
Speaker 1: he's like, thank goodness, man, because I'm putting all of
Speaker 1: his energy and stuff into this lady whom I love
Speaker 1: and into this kid whom I love. And it turns
Speaker 1: out it's an ideal situation anyway for me, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And then Jordan, Jordan's instantly the second
Speaker 1: he gives in, She's like, all right, go get me food. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But you know, people like Cox needs someone like Jordan's.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like you and Casey or you know
Speaker 1: everyone you know relations. I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody needs anybody like Jordan. Jordan is
Speaker 1: like the ultimate No, but he does. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think that some of this is inspired by Bill and Krista,
Speaker 1: And when I think of those too, like they are
Speaker 1: a ying Yang in so many ways, and they do
Speaker 1: bicker um and then, but but it works. It's it's
Speaker 1: it is, it is. It works for them. Now a
Speaker 1: lot of people in You and Casey don't don't bicker
Speaker 1: like these characters do. But you, guys, from from what
Speaker 1: I can see, are so different in so many ways.
Speaker 1: But it's a perfect Yang yang. Yeah, opposite to track,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. But but but in this, in this
Speaker 1: situation when you said, yes, Cox is such a he's
Speaker 1: such a huge personality on screen that right, it would
Speaker 1: take somebody of Jordan's caliber to have a personality like
Speaker 1: that to combat. Yeah, a woman who doesn't have that
Speaker 1: kind of power is gonna get walked all over. And um,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like like and and and
Speaker 1: with Jordan's the same thing, Like she's still walking over
Speaker 1: a man as alpha and I don't know what the
Speaker 1: words are either, but whatever Cox is, she's still walking
Speaker 1: all over that. Imagine her with like a fragile wallflower
Speaker 1: of a man. I mean, it would be, it would be.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't It wouldn't work. Yeah, you know that's what
Speaker 1: makes me and my wife works so well, the fact
Speaker 1: that she's completely different than I am, and I'm completely different,
Speaker 1: you know what. The one thing that we have in
Speaker 1: common is that we love to laugh, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, And we you know, and so because of
Speaker 1: that we have we joke, We joke around a lot,
Speaker 1: and we have the same sense of humor. But as
Speaker 1: far as like her style and my style were completely different,
Speaker 1: and what she likes and what I like, we're completely different.
Speaker 1: But I'm sure you've dated women that you felt like.
Speaker 1: I've dated that I was I was identical to, like
Speaker 1: we were exactly alike, and that ship was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this doesn't necessarily work. You're too much like how I am,
Speaker 1: you know, or someone you didn't feel that you didn't
Speaker 1: respect or wasn't your equal. I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: you respect Casey as your as your equal and you
Speaker 1: admire her, and yeah, because she demands that ship though
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, she commands that ship. That ship,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's different from It's not
Speaker 1: like I'm sitting there like I need to respect my woman.
Speaker 1: She's like, motherfucker, you better respect me. And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, You're right, I better. But but you're
Speaker 1: proving my point. You need you needed a woman like
Speaker 1: that for you, for you to commit for your life
Speaker 1: and for you to have respect for you needed someone
Speaker 1: who was like, listen, motherfucker, sit the funk down, get
Speaker 1: out of the fucking animation room, and make me some
Speaker 1: fried chicken. Okay, first of all, she doesn't ever kick
Speaker 1: me out of my animation room. Let's just let's just
Speaker 1: start there. Okay. By the way, I had a very
Speaker 1: sweet moment with her this week, because um, I love
Speaker 1: real estate more than anything, and I was I sent
Speaker 1: her this house I thought would be perfect for you guys,
Speaker 1: and the first thing she wrote back was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: that one Lularia could be Donald's animation room. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: loves me. Yeah that's how it goes. Yeah, she's a
Speaker 1: good woman. She's a great woman. She wasn't like, she
Speaker 1: wasn't like, uh, I don't know where we're gonna put
Speaker 1: Donald's animation room. She was like, oh, that area could
Speaker 1: be done on the animation room. All right, should we
Speaker 1: talk about the fucking show scrubs Donald? We should get
Speaker 1: into it. First of all, Ted had dreams of being
Speaker 1: a senator. When was at what point was Ted's freaking
Speaker 1: charisma so high that he was gonna be a senator?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that Ted probably started off
Speaker 1: something happened that really beat ted Town and made him
Speaker 1: made him so troubled. He also hits on Elliott for
Speaker 1: the first time in this episode. I don't know how
Speaker 1: many times that happens, but he asked her out. He
Speaker 1: does well, I don't know. I mean, maybe part of
Speaker 1: him is probably just trying to be nice because Kelsels
Speaker 1: just made her cry. But he's also like, hey, right right,
Speaker 1: you're so vulnerable right now, maybe exactly exactly. I see
Speaker 1: you have tear in your eyes. Would you like to
Speaker 1: get a drink? Um? I thought we should talk about
Speaker 1: hangovers and doctors, because this is a real thing. Again,
Speaker 1: I don't know if doctors still do this. You doctors
Speaker 1: listening will have to say out loud to your listening
Speaker 1: device whether you do or not. But when we were
Speaker 1: starting the show, we learned that that doctors with hangovers
Speaker 1: would give themselves i v s and sometimes even go
Speaker 1: so far as to hide the bag under their armpit
Speaker 1: and put their like, um, you know, their lab coat
Speaker 1: over it, and like go around gently squeezing the bag
Speaker 1: as put fluids into their body because they were so
Speaker 1: dehydrated from alcohol. Have you ever done that? Have you ever?
Speaker 1: Have you ever had an I V after a night
Speaker 1: of drinking? Well, now it's like a service. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure in in New York, l A. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure other cities, uh around the world, you can go
Speaker 1: get like hangover hydration from a nurse. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever done that. Have you? That ship works, man?
Speaker 1: That Oh my gosh, it works so well too. And
Speaker 1: you can get like a bunch of vitamins and stuff
Speaker 1: like in minerals and ships like that put into it.
Speaker 1: The one thing that I got a problem with, though,
Speaker 1: is that you can taste it. I've never been able to,
Speaker 1: like they put it into your vein, but you can
Speaker 1: taste it in your mouth. And that's the weirdest shit
Speaker 1: I've ever So wait, had you had you had it scheduled,
Speaker 1: or you were in such pain you said, called the
Speaker 1: I v R. You went there? What have you come
Speaker 1: to your house? So I go to this gym, Unbreakable Performance.
Speaker 1: It's owned by Jay Glazer. It's a great Jim. It's uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's one of those gyms that you go
Speaker 1: to where you work out with people that you recognize
Speaker 1: in movies. So as an actor, sometimes going to a
Speaker 1: normal gym is a little uh, you feel like you're
Speaker 1: in a fishbowl, you know what I mean. And so
Speaker 1: this is one of those gyms that you go to
Speaker 1: and you're working out with athletes and actors and you know, uh, musicians,
Speaker 1: et cetera. And so this gym, it's very it's it
Speaker 1: costs some money, but the reason why it costs some
Speaker 1: money is because of the perks it has there. And
Speaker 1: one of those perks is, you know, like it has
Speaker 1: a cryode chamber, and it has an actually occupuncturist, and
Speaker 1: it has you know what I mean, a bunch of
Speaker 1: great things like that. But one of the things that offers,
Speaker 1: one of the perks it offers is freaking uh I
Speaker 1: v s. And one day I came in there because
Speaker 1: I was spending so much money on the gym. I
Speaker 1: was like, I cannot not miss a day, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to throw up. And they were like, well,
Speaker 1: why don't you just take an IVY real quick? And
Speaker 1: I went and got an IVY and that ship cleaned
Speaker 1: me out, Like dude, I was so hungover. I was
Speaker 1: so hungover, like to the point where it was like
Speaker 1: I showed up so they could be like, man, just
Speaker 1: go to funk home, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: I was hungover like that, Like why don't you just
Speaker 1: say fuck it? Because I was spending all this money
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to cancel and be like I'm
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And so I showed up
Speaker 1: and they're like this, yeah, just do an I V.
Speaker 1: I came out of that. I came out of the
Speaker 1: IVY session charged and ready to go. I had to
Speaker 1: I had to pee first. I had to pee first.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, yo, let's go. Well that
Speaker 1: should tell people that that's when I hangover. Is obviously
Speaker 1: it's dehydration. You just you need you need water. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well and minerals and like, and you know, Daniel, you've
Speaker 1: had that too, Yes, I did. I went to a
Speaker 1: bachelor party in Nashville and the next day we went
Speaker 1: to this really kind of not shady but like just
Speaker 1: hole in the wall spot that was just called Drip Doctors. Yes,
Speaker 1: and you know, it could sound like a fashion line,
Speaker 1: but it was just a place where they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: sit in a chair, we pop an IVY in you
Speaker 1: and have a good day. It was very in and out.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's nice. I mean, I I there's also places,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe not during COVID, but they do, like
Speaker 1: house calls. You can just be like why God, and
Speaker 1: they come and put an I V in you? Right? Fancy?
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. How about that pratfall
Speaker 1: I did with the I V I mean that was
Speaker 1: pretty great. I'm pretty that was pretty good. Ryan Reynolds.
Speaker 1: Pratfall was pretty good too. Yes, yes, Ryan Reynolds, but
Speaker 1: but but you know, you know my pop was pretty
Speaker 1: good too, right, Yeah, IV one was great. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying Ryan Reynolds, you know, showing flashes of flashes of
Speaker 1: what was to come with his bradfall. That's all. Yes. Um,
Speaker 1: Ryan Reynolds walking in the hallway saying, how about that guy?
Speaker 1: How about that guy? That guy? And he's pointing to
Speaker 1: different men as we walked through the hospital, and I said,
Speaker 1: it would probably be easier if I just pointed at
Speaker 1: whose butts I haven't had my fingers. Um, let's talk
Speaker 1: about this chocolate hand, because I'm bussing. You know what,
Speaker 1: Before we talk about the chocolate hand, go to break.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back, and we're back, and we're back,
Speaker 1: so let's talk about the chocolate hand. I am guessing
Speaker 1: that this is very inappropriate. I didn't think it was inappropriate,
Speaker 1: oh really, because I thought at the time it was
Speaker 1: funny because we were calling each other vanilla and chocolate.
Speaker 1: But I wondered if in two thousand and twenty it's racist.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's racist if my skin color matches
Speaker 1: the color of chocolate, and you love chocolate, so you
Speaker 1: my my hand. Dude, I would say it's built into
Speaker 1: the culture of these two friends, and so I did
Speaker 1: not find it offensive. There's certainly a lot of conversations
Speaker 1: happening around, mostly in the literature world, of people describing
Speaker 1: dark skin as just always a food item, oh, chocolate, coffee, anything.
Speaker 1: You might yell at a black girl as she's walking
Speaker 1: down the street and you think she's attractive, it's tired.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that necessarily applies to this situation.
Speaker 1: It is like to of friends who have nicknames for
Speaker 1: each other. Um, I haven't even said. I thought it
Speaker 1: was very funny. It's hilarious. I laughed my ass off
Speaker 1: the fact that you ate my hand, and then I
Speaker 1: remember that being and I remember that being a very
Speaker 1: funny set, because you know, they built the whole office
Speaker 1: and to look like it was all made out of
Speaker 1: chocolate and you're you're typing a memo on a chocolate typewriter. Yeah, yeah, dude, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was I have fond memories of that office. That's
Speaker 1: also cal Turk. That was also same set, same set,
Speaker 1: same area. Now I run into Deonte giving a shout
Speaker 1: out to Deonte Gordon. What do you mean he ran into?
Speaker 1: Oh you ran in the show? I thought you was
Speaker 1: like I ran into I was out and about and
Speaker 1: I ran into who's out and about? Because I don't
Speaker 1: know what all of America is out and about? The
Speaker 1: only are we the only people being good? I mean no, no,
Speaker 1: there's a ton of people who are being good. We
Speaker 1: just put a microscope on all the people who are
Speaker 1: being bad. Not to say that it isn't a lot
Speaker 1: of people and that it's not a problem, because it is.
Speaker 1: But it's a lot easier to just be like, look
Speaker 1: at all this terrible ship when it's really like a
Speaker 1: not as big as I mean, I'm sure it's I'm
Speaker 1: sure if you live in a state that has no problems,
Speaker 1: then that's different. But we live in Los Angeles County,
Speaker 1: which has quite a problem, and so we why don't
Speaker 1: really leave my house? I mean, we go to go
Speaker 1: to the supermarket, but I don't know where else we're going. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no place to go anyway here. But
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's to some people, it's a hoax.
Speaker 1: So I take my motorcycle out and go on rides.
Speaker 1: You still have a motorcycle? Yeah? Motherfuck? Are you were
Speaker 1: halfway there to Tom Cruise and Top Gun and you've
Speaker 1: got rid of the plane man to be back. I'm
Speaker 1: as Joel pointed out, I'm manifesting it on my forearm.
Speaker 1: But you could have been on the runway with your
Speaker 1: bike trying to race can prop planes. I feel like
Speaker 1: Tom get along. I mean, you know some stuff aside.
Speaker 1: I look, you both like Kenny Loggins his character in
Speaker 1: the movie. At least you know what I mean. Hi
Speaker 1: way to the danger zone and take you right in
Speaker 1: to danger zone? Are you gonna be one of the
Speaker 1: first customers to Top Gun two? No? That ship looks
Speaker 1: horrible really yeah, no, I'm sorry. I'm not hating on it.
Speaker 1: And you know what, that was a hating maneuver, and
Speaker 1: I apologize as I'm trying not to do that because
Speaker 1: you know, Miles Teller is in it. He's a nice fellow.
Speaker 1: Do you know how sick I was when we were
Speaker 1: making this episode? Do you recall this? I had I
Speaker 1: had body aches, chills, I had fever and wound up
Speaker 1: having pneumonia and flew it in my lungs and we
Speaker 1: did we did a walk and talk. We did all
Speaker 1: stemming from the night in the hot tub. Oh that's
Speaker 1: where you got sick. And then the next day we're
Speaker 1: doing the next week because either he left. I don't
Speaker 1: remember what it was exactly, but it wasn't all lined up.
Speaker 1: But the next couple of days I remember I was
Speaker 1: so sick. I was like, you know, like six sick,
Speaker 1: like sick. I'm surprised you didn't get me in Ryan
Speaker 1: sick in that hot tub. That poor woman who's grabbing
Speaker 1: your booty? Yeah, I laughed out loud when I go,
Speaker 1: it's too hot on my eyes. Why did they think
Speaker 1: they could hold their breath long enough to hide from
Speaker 1: somebody checking? Or well, you and Ryan had no problem,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't it. Um, let's discuss. Uh, there's another thing.
Speaker 1: Cox dumps Jordan's and she's like, no, that sh ain't happening. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're not breaking up with me. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: that happen to you? No? But the first thing king
Speaker 1: in my mind was I was once the next girlfriend
Speaker 1: and I were breaking up and she got really mad.
Speaker 1: She was intoxicated, and she took an empty wine glass
Speaker 1: that was in her hand and she was yelling at me,
Speaker 1: and she slammed it down on the ground as hard
Speaker 1: as she could, and the wine glass didn't break, and
Speaker 1: the both of us, the both of us instantly broke
Speaker 1: from fighting and started cracking up because it was the
Speaker 1: craziest ship we've ever seen. And then you guys made
Speaker 1: love and got back together. No, I don't think no,
Speaker 1: but I always think it's funny, like we're breaking up. No,
Speaker 1: we're not. Then Casey did that ship to me? Dude,
Speaker 1: did that ship? Like? Look, I worked down. We were
Speaker 1: in St. Barts and he tried to break up. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. I came back and begged her to get
Speaker 1: back with me after the same part trip. But dude,
Speaker 1: one night, I worked myself up the whole day. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna break up with her tonight, she's
Speaker 1: gonna come over and we're gonna break up, and then
Speaker 1: it's gonna be that right, And so I waited and
Speaker 1: I waited and I waited, and finally we're at the
Speaker 1: point where it's like, Okay, it's either do it now
Speaker 1: or you're never gonna do it. So I've said to her, look,
Speaker 1: you know, I just I'm gonna be honest with your case.
Speaker 1: You know. Granted, this last couple of months have been great,
Speaker 1: and I've had such an amazing time with you, but
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't see this going anywhere. I
Speaker 1: think this is I think we're just you know, playing
Speaker 1: a game, you know, giving her the breakup fucking speech
Speaker 1: right right. And she goes and I go, so I
Speaker 1: think we should break up. I think this is it
Speaker 1: and she goes, no, I said what I said? No?
Speaker 1: I said what? She goes, No, We're not breaking up.
Speaker 1: She was like, yeah, that's that's that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I'm breaking up with you
Speaker 1: right now. And she's like, you feel that right now?
Speaker 1: Don't you feel that? Donald? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't feel what I feel angry. She was like, no,
Speaker 1: don't you feel that we have something more than this
Speaker 1: when you look at us, don't you when you when
Speaker 1: you think about us, you don't see it's going further
Speaker 1: than where we're at right now. And I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. She's like, it's a shame, Donald, I do
Speaker 1: we're not breaking up? And I'm like, if we are,
Speaker 1: She's like no, she Jedi mind tricked you, right, And
Speaker 1: so by the end of it, I'm like, well, I
Speaker 1: don't want you to go home. Why don't you just
Speaker 1: get back in bed you're looking for She freaking Jedi
Speaker 1: mind tricked the crap out of me, dude. She's but
Speaker 1: it works though, man, And so when Jordan does that
Speaker 1: to Cox, it definitely catches you off guard because you're like,
Speaker 1: you know, we're not gonna do this. This isn't gonna work,
Speaker 1: and they're like, no, we are gonna do this. It's
Speaker 1: gonna work. It's like all of the preparation that you
Speaker 1: made expecting to have a response that's like, you know,
Speaker 1: but we need I needed you and you need me.
Speaker 1: And when that doesn't come and it's and it's and
Speaker 1: its and it's not U fine, that's okay, okay, let's
Speaker 1: break up and it's no, we're not breaking up. It
Speaker 1: just catches a man off guard. And I think men
Speaker 1: genuinely liked this ship too, Like it turned me the
Speaker 1: funk on. I was like, you know what, you're right,
Speaker 1: you certainly have to be on the fence about the
Speaker 1: relationship if you're really over it. And she's like, we're
Speaker 1: not breaking up you're like ro right right. I was
Speaker 1: definitely I was definitely on the fence about it about
Speaker 1: when the guy in the hot subs like some days
Speaker 1: I sit out here drinking cold one after cold one,
Speaker 1: and I go, what do you do when you have
Speaker 1: to pee? And there's a long pause. And so you
Speaker 1: guys are doctors. We should mention that Bill Lawrence directed
Speaker 1: this and it's his first episode he directed in of
Speaker 1: them thunders applause, Dan thunders applause for their lasting Uh
Speaker 1: he No, he did a good job because he was
Speaker 1: adding his own style and flare to it that he
Speaker 1: had um that he had developed with originally Adam and
Speaker 1: then all the other directors. There are some cool shots
Speaker 1: and some cool transitions, and there's a great there's a
Speaker 1: great one or at the end of the episode where
Speaker 1: you and Cox jump onto the elevator and ride down
Speaker 1: in the elevator while delivering your dialogue exit and then
Speaker 1: go into the lobby, the entrance lobby for the hospital,
Speaker 1: and it's time perfectly. You can always tell we're really
Speaker 1: riding the elevator when when it lands there's a bit
Speaker 1: of a camera. I mean, they would try and fake
Speaker 1: that sometimes, but it never looked as good as like
Speaker 1: this one is, like you can tell that the camera
Speaker 1: operators a little bit jerked by the elevator. Um Elliot
Speaker 1: goes to Coxford Vice. Well talks to Coxford Advice about
Speaker 1: her deal with Colso, and he genuinely is like, I
Speaker 1: can't give it to you right now because I'm going
Speaker 1: through my own ship. But I found it interesting that
Speaker 1: that disappointed cox Also, you know that he wasn't able
Speaker 1: to help his colleague at this moment in time. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, because he's a reluctant mentor
Speaker 1: to everyone. Even though he complains about it and winds
Speaker 1: about and tells people off, he still likes the young
Speaker 1: people that he likes coming to him and looking for
Speaker 1: it for advice. By the way, your Superman tat and
Speaker 1: your shoot Tat tattoo are both in clearland the hot
Speaker 1: tub scene. And let me see where you are with
Speaker 1: your removal. Let me see if I can see them anymore. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's all gone. Well, I can still see a little bit.
Speaker 1: Does that hurt? I know, I heard it hurts like
Speaker 1: a like a mofo. No, it doesn't hurt as bad
Speaker 1: as people make it sound. Well, it might depend on
Speaker 1: the spot because I once went with an X to
Speaker 1: have some removal done and where was the tattoo? It was?
Speaker 1: It was a tramp stamp. Well, yeah, if you like
Speaker 1: in your if you like get in your butt smack,
Speaker 1: though I don't. I can't imagine that hurting that much.
Speaker 1: Should we go to a break and then talk to
Speaker 1: a guest tone? I also really have to pee, so
Speaker 1: we'll be right back after these fine words and after
Speaker 1: I empty my bladder and we're back. I want to
Speaker 1: show you guys my new dope shoes and tell me
Speaker 1: you better not this them because their flies health prepared
Speaker 1: to gasp? Are you all? Are you all ready to
Speaker 1: gather things as ugly as fun? Man? Donald that it
Speaker 1: looks like straight? Do do? These are vapor maxes and
Speaker 1: they are so dope. You pull on this. Look check
Speaker 1: this out. You pull this to titan and then you
Speaker 1: and then you pull this to release their recycled so
Speaker 1: they're good for the world. You don't like these? Don
Speaker 1: Where did you buy those? On? I'm addicted to buying
Speaker 1: showing like you to come. You don't like these? I
Speaker 1: do like those those? Look? Look how that's like Niven?
Speaker 1: How's the comfort on? Those. It's funny, Flow Flow. When
Speaker 1: I opened the box, Flow is making fun of me,
Speaker 1: like you saying like those are cheesy, And then by
Speaker 1: the end of the day she's like do those kind
Speaker 1: of women's guess what they do? You know what? You
Speaker 1: know what it is. It's a jealousy thing. Man. It's
Speaker 1: like when you know, somebody pulls out a pair of
Speaker 1: nice Jimmy Choo shoes and all all the ladies go
Speaker 1: and all the dudes like, man, don't shoes because we
Speaker 1: don't have nothing to specialists that the only thing that
Speaker 1: we have special like shoes like that are Jordan's are kicks?
Speaker 1: Are you know, really exclusive shoes? Exclusive? You don't. I've
Speaker 1: never owned a pair of Easies in my life. And
Speaker 1: I love Listen listen. I love Kanye, but I've never
Speaker 1: owned any of his gear. By the way, have you
Speaker 1: heard this DJ colleg Drake song pop Star? Yeah? Man,
Speaker 1: that's a good song. I think it's come my person
Speaker 1: on the pop Star like that. Wait, Daniel, I just
Speaker 1: want everyone to know I like a Drake song. It's
Speaker 1: a big moment for me. Okay, that's a good but
Speaker 1: just calling my phone and day Yeah, that's just all right.
Speaker 1: Bringing the guest. Welcome in Dan. Oh, that's going to
Speaker 1: confuse everything. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Dann.
Speaker 1: Dan on mutual phone. There you go, Dann, it's in
Speaker 1: the house. Everybody's a hello to Dad. Not to be
Speaker 1: confused with that ole, but just Dad. Hi, Dan, Welcome
Speaker 1: to the program. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet
Speaker 1: you too. It's such a privilege to be here, so
Speaker 1: cool to see both Zack McDonald, two guys that I've
Speaker 1: watched the majority of my lifetime. Thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. This is what we look like. Um uh,
Speaker 1: we're a bit older than now. You might remember us
Speaker 1: from the TV show, but just as witty. Where are
Speaker 1: you calling from? Dan? Beacon, New York, New York, YO,
Speaker 1: New York. In the house? Is Beacon in the house?
Speaker 1: What do you do there? What do you? What do you?
Speaker 1: What's hero when? When non COVID world exists? What do
Speaker 1: you do for a living? I am an attorney. I
Speaker 1: am practicing real estate attorney right now. I've been sworn
Speaker 1: in now for about a year, but I'm considering in
Speaker 1: the near future making a transition to a part time
Speaker 1: position with Public Defender's Office. In Judges County. Oh, I
Speaker 1: think I'll bet you that would be way more exciting
Speaker 1: than real estate. In my humble opinion, I suspect it
Speaker 1: would be way more fulfilling too. So that's sort of
Speaker 1: my thinking about why I want to go that route
Speaker 1: and hopefully I'll get a chance to help people. And
Speaker 1: it's because of value systems like I got from Scrubs
Speaker 1: about how helping people more important than money. Wow here
Speaker 1: that Donald's look at the difference we made, No doubt
Speaker 1: that's real talk. But Money'll talk. Money is fun too, though, Donald.
Speaker 1: But money is good, especially if you're trying to buy
Speaker 1: a twenty golf simulator. Like now, Dan, what we what
Speaker 1: we have you? Um is I'm hearing? Uh? Is now
Speaker 1: a good time for people to buy a house? Because
Speaker 1: I've heard varying things about that. If if you're someone
Speaker 1: who's saved and and and you're thinking about doing it,
Speaker 1: is now a good time to buy? Well, I think
Speaker 1: it depends on where you are. If you're in Dutchess
Speaker 1: County right now, it's a really really hot market, hottest
Speaker 1: I've ever seen it, you know. I mean, I've only
Speaker 1: been practicing that year, but I paid attention to the
Speaker 1: real estate market a lot longer than that, and it's
Speaker 1: it's never been like this. Things are going up for
Speaker 1: sale and selling the two days. So it's it's certainly
Speaker 1: a hot time. Um whether or not it's a good
Speaker 1: time remains to be seen because we're not out of
Speaker 1: the woods of this COVID stuff yet, and based on
Speaker 1: long term projections of what could happen, I mean it's
Speaker 1: gonna inevitably have some negative impact on the housing market.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna say, our houses selling for less
Speaker 1: and way more, way, way more more. I thought it
Speaker 1: was the otwall. Okay, I thought he. I thought it
Speaker 1: was a buyer's market right now, and right I thought,
Speaker 1: because a lot of people are are please correct, Actually
Speaker 1: you're okay, because I live on the shadow of New
Speaker 1: York City, where you can take a train I could
Speaker 1: take I could walk to the train station and be
Speaker 1: in Manhattan and now see But but see, that's skewed
Speaker 1: for everybody listening, because everyone wants to get out of
Speaker 1: Manhattan and where he no see. So if you don't
Speaker 1: live you don't live within communing distance from Manhattan. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people, because of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: are shaking up their thinking of where they want to live.
Speaker 1: Of course, people are getting out of cities. People are saying,
Speaker 1: funk it, let's go to the country. Um So I
Speaker 1: feel like there are houses that are not in the
Speaker 1: kind of place you live, that are going for less. Right, Yes, naturally,
Speaker 1: I've heard that. It's absolutely a buyer's market. I'm only
Speaker 1: bringing this up because I want Donald to move closer
Speaker 1: to me, so I keep sending his wife houses that
Speaker 1: are within a mile of my house. That's fair. I
Speaker 1: think you should do that, Donald, I would Dan, I
Speaker 1: would love to do that. There's a thing called uh expensive.
Speaker 1: Do you want to say that there's a thing called expensive? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't need to say that. Again, let's give you
Speaker 1: a take two on that. There's nothing called expensive. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what I was going for though, and now buying
Speaker 1: a house during decent Like in California, people are moving
Speaker 1: out of California because of property tax that's coming up soon.
Speaker 1: So like if you have a certain amount of land
Speaker 1: and stuff, you're gonna be taxed double is what I've heard.
Speaker 1: And so now people are moving out of Los Angeles
Speaker 1: and California to different states where they don't have to
Speaker 1: pay taxes anymore. So I have a place in Manhattan
Speaker 1: that I daydream about selling during this time, but I'm
Speaker 1: not going to do it because it would be the
Speaker 1: worst time in the world to to sell it. Um
Speaker 1: and and then I'm not and then I know I'll
Speaker 1: regret it. But but I, I, like many who have
Speaker 1: a piece of property in the city are like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to live in the city now. I want to.
Speaker 1: I want it just feels scary. I want to be
Speaker 1: I want to have space in in a yard and
Speaker 1: not not be on top of people in an elevator
Speaker 1: with someone coughing. Right. It's it's very speculative, I think
Speaker 1: as a whole right now. And let me tell you
Speaker 1: if you ever need a lawyer to sell that place
Speaker 1: in that there you go. There's the lawyer we know
Speaker 1: and love. All right, Dan, do you have a question
Speaker 1: for for any of us about anything in the world.
Speaker 1: I want to You can tell your story here. I
Speaker 1: know we talked a little about a little bit about
Speaker 1: it earlier. And if you don't want to, that spine, Oh,
Speaker 1: Dan has a secret story. I do. Part of how
Speaker 1: I got connected with Joel and why I'm here today
Speaker 1: is because you had said on an episode of your podcast,
Speaker 1: if anybody has a story of hooking up at a
Speaker 1: funeral to write in At that moment, I knew you
Speaker 1: felt like you were talking directly to me because I
Speaker 1: was just at this moment. Yes, you guys asked for it,
Speaker 1: and here it is. Man. I was the one that
Speaker 1: said this was going to be crazy and gross. Listen,
Speaker 1: but this is what you wanted to hear. We couldn't deliver.
Speaker 1: We couldn't deliver animals, but we delivered a guy who
Speaker 1: banged at a funeral and nothing on that. Dan, it's
Speaker 1: time to go into your story. Please tell us everything
Speaker 1: go on, But Dan, don't go too long because we
Speaker 1: we are going along on the show. Give us a
Speaker 1: condensed version of this amazing tale. But but tell us everything. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: when you get to the dirty parts, you can take
Speaker 1: your time. I have to be somewhat vague intentionally, of course,
Speaker 1: when we don't want to out anybody. Of course, of
Speaker 1: course we're not gonna we're not gonna name any names
Speaker 1: or anything, of course, And I will start by saying that, like, listen,
Speaker 1: I had a friend who passed away really tragically, way
Speaker 1: way before it was this time of cancer a rare
Speaker 1: form of cancer. And I think he was thirty one
Speaker 1: when he passed away, And um, it was you know,
Speaker 1: it was an emotionally charged time. That's the way I'd
Speaker 1: like to frame the whole story. Um. Now, his brother
Speaker 1: was one of my best best friends and my college buddy,
Speaker 1: college roommate um for two years, and a guy who
Speaker 1: you know, I had had a lot of guy loved
Speaker 1: moments with. This is a guy who I'm not afraid
Speaker 1: to say I've kissed before, and I will say that
Speaker 1: I'm radio. But he was a good friend of mine,
Speaker 1: to say the least. And I guess I had met
Speaker 1: his cousin at the wake the night before. It was
Speaker 1: a cousin of hisines that I hooked up with. And
Speaker 1: I I'm trying to be artful, so I'm taking my
Speaker 1: time with I'm gonna parse this south. But I met
Speaker 1: his cousin at the way the night before, and um,
Speaker 1: is this a woman or a man? This is a woman,
Speaker 1: And uh, it was just innocent flirt type of the situation. Um.
Speaker 1: The next day there was a funeral and it was
Speaker 1: that sacred heart, which I bring up because it's just
Speaker 1: a fun coincidence. That was the name of the church. Um.
Speaker 1: But then there was an after party, and this is
Speaker 1: where the story really starts. The story gets good at
Speaker 1: the after party because my friend who died had wanted
Speaker 1: this to be celebration. He wanted it to be a party.
Speaker 1: He wanted people drinking, wanted a bar, he wanted all
Speaker 1: the Irish whiskey, you know, flowing. And it was and
Speaker 1: we were getting, you know, pretty tore up. And rather
Speaker 1: than sort of being with the family, this cousin of
Speaker 1: his was hanging out more with the friends because we
Speaker 1: were we were the people living up, having a good time,
Speaker 1: and so she didn't really she knew many people at
Speaker 1: this uneral, but she didn't know many people within my
Speaker 1: crew of friends, and so she was gravitating towards me.
Speaker 1: And I had no problem being the sort of liaison
Speaker 1: to the phone that was happening. I felt like it
Speaker 1: was helpful to her. And we're partying now in the
Speaker 1: parking lot. She had made a move on me to
Speaker 1: try and kiss me. I had rejected it. She tried again.
Speaker 1: I rejected a second time, but the third time I
Speaker 1: allowed things to happen and we just started making out
Speaker 1: like hands stuff, nothing too too aggressive, but we were
Speaker 1: seeing someone saw the light hand stuff is a great
Speaker 1: name for a bank. Go ahead, go there. There have
Speaker 1: been some light hand stuff and uh and I and
Speaker 1: then that was it. I said, okay, this is crazy.
Speaker 1: We're done. You're in You're in an emotional place. I
Speaker 1: did at least say that once. And that was it. Um.
Speaker 1: Now she later says, to meet her in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm gonna go in the bathroom meet me
Speaker 1: and there to minutes and so I go and I
Speaker 1: here into Oh boy, so you weren't serious. You weren't
Speaker 1: You weren't being truthful when you were like, you're in
Speaker 1: an emotional place. You were like, you're an emotional place.
Speaker 1: There's people staring at us right now. Let's try and
Speaker 1: find someplace that's a little bit more to screet. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: it's like the bathroom. Like the bathroom. I'm an imperfect man.
Speaker 1: I am so imperfect. I'll own that. I you know.
Speaker 1: I okay, So let's get to the bathroom. We're in
Speaker 1: the bathroom. When happened there she had at that point, Um,
Speaker 1: she my pants off me and it was like sit
Speaker 1: down on the toilet and wrote what I assumed the
Speaker 1: best one in a half minutes of her life and
Speaker 1: and someone did laugh and we were sort of caught.
Speaker 1: But then she's like, oh, I'm just in here, and
Speaker 1: they went away, and you know, that was it. Wow.
Speaker 1: Have you seen her since she came? She did. I
Speaker 1: lived in Boston at the time. She flew out to
Speaker 1: see me, like a couple of weeks later. We hung
Speaker 1: out the two more times, and after that we didn't
Speaker 1: talk a whole lot because she needed there to be
Speaker 1: a funeral to get turned on. Yeah, she needed the drama. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she needed the drama, just like the show. Dan. We
Speaker 1: organized this so you could meet your son. Come on in, Billy.
Speaker 1: He's about eight years old now. Just like, yeah, so, um,
Speaker 1: this some sex act. It occurred while you were sitting
Speaker 1: on the toilet. Yes, okay, have you ever done that before, Zach?
Speaker 1: Have you ad sex on the toilet? No at a funeral? No,
Speaker 1: I mean period? No at a funeral, double funeral. Oh
Speaker 1: good guest, Joel Joel thunderous applause for Joel Dan starting
Speaker 1: your case. Well, thank you sir for that. Um, if
Speaker 1: you're out there and you too have a story about
Speaker 1: banging in a funeral, we don't we Please contact Joel,
Speaker 1: we'd love to hear them all. We have at least
Speaker 1: four more. Oh really, you've got four more in your
Speaker 1: in your quiver. Yeah, it's four more. Now. I'm believe Dan.
Speaker 1: I wonder if some people are lying, but I trust Dan.
Speaker 1: I think his story is real. Definitely. I had to
Speaker 1: go back in the memory bank a little bit, and
Speaker 1: there's details that I left out or probably have forgotten.
Speaker 1: Unless they're salacious, we don't need them. Damn. There's nothing
Speaker 1: too exciting. There might have been like a fourth attempt,
Speaker 1: like there were one of the things that there were
Speaker 1: more attempts than just the two before I finally gave.
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, you held on. You held on
Speaker 1: as long as you could. Da, You held on as
Speaker 1: long as you can. You probably were like, no, someone
Speaker 1: give me a shot. One shot later, yes another Jamison, Yes? Um?
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I feel like that was that should
Speaker 1: cover the question section, right, Joel. And maybe we go
Speaker 1: to fix your life? Okay, Dan, you seem like I'm
Speaker 1: a guy who might get into trouble. Sometimes We're gonna
Speaker 1: play a little game called it's time to fix your life? Alright, Dan,
Speaker 1: how can we help you? Um? We can't help that situation.
Speaker 1: But we can help something that you need help with now, Well,
Speaker 1: Donald and Sad, I have a two year old her
Speaker 1: name Kennedy, who is she's actually turning to on Saturday. Congratulations.
Speaker 1: Two years is a big deal, thank you. And she
Speaker 1: loves the outdoors, so I will frequently um now split
Speaker 1: custody with her mother, and when I have her fifty
Speaker 1: percent of the time, I'm bringing her outside all the time.
Speaker 1: And every time that she comes in she's very, very
Speaker 1: upset and she doesn't like the transition from the outside
Speaker 1: world league inside. Now it doesn't matter if she's out
Speaker 1: there for fifteen minutes or three hours, no matter what
Speaker 1: the length of time, she doesn't want to come back in.
Speaker 1: And it's not as much of a problem in the summer.
Speaker 1: With the weather getting colder here, I wonder what I
Speaker 1: can do now that we're going to be forced for
Speaker 1: more time indoors. That's a very that's a very difficult question.
Speaker 1: How are you in in the outdoors? Are you skillful
Speaker 1: when it comes to outdoor stuff? UM, I would say no,
Speaker 1: I don't think he means camping, don't I think he
Speaker 1: means playing out side right? But but some of those
Speaker 1: things can come into effect when it comes to playing
Speaker 1: in the outdoors. I think what Donald saying is, is
Speaker 1: there a chance that you're more fun and present with
Speaker 1: her outside and when she comes in, she knows that
Speaker 1: you're gonna go to your laptop. I think Donald maybe
Speaker 1: keen into something here. When we're playing outside, I'm fully
Speaker 1: engaged with her, like it's me and her and there's
Speaker 1: the rest of the world. I mean, when we're inside,
Speaker 1: it's me and you know, my computer, or me and
Speaker 1: my phone. A lot of the time it's something I'm
Speaker 1: not playing with her, but it's not as much. I
Speaker 1: wonder that that that could be your that could be
Speaker 1: your issue. Right there, there's a possibility that you need
Speaker 1: to be just as uh well, it's it's it's yeah,
Speaker 1: just as present as you are outdoors, when just as
Speaker 1: present indoors as you are outdoors. I personally, you know,
Speaker 1: I know what this is. Like. My kids want to
Speaker 1: wrestle and fight all day long, and sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to say that's enough. You you know, I get it.
Speaker 1: You only have her fifty percent of the time, and
Speaker 1: so you're trying to give her as much uh love
Speaker 1: as possible, but there still has to be routine. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean, You can't just you can't just
Speaker 1: you know, say, I'm gonna take you outside, and that's
Speaker 1: all you guys ever do is just go outside and play.
Speaker 1: You have to. You have to routine the situation, and
Speaker 1: and and and and make some sort of schedule for
Speaker 1: you guys. And so I have an idea, and so
Speaker 1: I I get it. She's it's great, and she wants
Speaker 1: to stay outdoors. But I think that's because she knows
Speaker 1: that YouTube that's the scheduled time that you too, spend
Speaker 1: all of your time together. And she's just she's just
Speaker 1: wanting that that I think if you, I mean again,
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, so listen to Donald over me.
Speaker 1: But if I were, if I were trying this to
Speaker 1: solve this conundrum, I think I would make something super
Speaker 1: fun in the house that you guys only do right
Speaker 1: when you come in. So the first thing that keen
Speaker 1: to my mind was like build a fort or a tent,
Speaker 1: because I used to love that when I was a
Speaker 1: little kid, especially with my parents. Um and so she
Speaker 1: knows like, oh, it's like a transition time. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's wh whenever we come in, the first thing we
Speaker 1: do is Dad doesn't just go get on his phone
Speaker 1: and ignore me. We always build a fort right away,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of like a transition, like oh, because
Speaker 1: you think about it. In my mind is if I
Speaker 1: was a two ye old, it's like, oh, the fun
Speaker 1: time's over now, Dad's on his phone and on board
Speaker 1: where it's like, no, whenever we come in, it's built
Speaker 1: fort building time. Like that's exciting too, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And to a much lesser degree, those are
Speaker 1: the only things that have worked so far. Is like
Speaker 1: if I can have something right away waiting for her,
Speaker 1: and I've been using like a like fruit snacks or
Speaker 1: like a cheap like a cheap trick like that, like
Speaker 1: something easy but cheap about that. That's a good trick.
Speaker 1: That's a good trick. Ain't nothing cheap about that trick. No,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, definitely some sort of reward. But the reward again,
Speaker 1: we're just pulling this out of our butts. We don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, Donald's is a great, dad, But I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: come up with something exciting that doesn't make her feel
Speaker 1: let down. It could be food, I guess, but it
Speaker 1: could also be like more of your attention. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's such key insight there, And I asked this question.
Speaker 1: I just want to say because it's a real problem
Speaker 1: I have. I mean, like I and the parenting advice
Speaker 1: that I hear on the show, it's like really insightful
Speaker 1: and good, but I'm blown away. I didn't. I didn't necessarily, Uh,
Speaker 1: I didn't expect that I was going to get it.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you wouldn't think that, Dan, Dan,
Speaker 1: You're welcome. You're welcome, that you can edit out my
Speaker 1: terrible apology and post. And we need a Charlie pooth
Speaker 1: Um song it's called You're Welcome that goes right here,
Speaker 1: or we could just use the MAUI what can I
Speaker 1: say except You're Welcome. That is my daughter's favorite movie, Mamanna.
Speaker 1: I love that movie. Mo Wanna is such an lynn
Speaker 1: Manuel Miranda whatever. The dude's name set the soundtrack for it.
Speaker 1: I do not know his name. He's like the most
Speaker 1: everywhere person on earth, and you don't know his name.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. That's like saying yeah, I think it's it's
Speaker 1: like it's it's like j something. There's a letter that
Speaker 1: comes after it. It's like j R no jay Z,
Speaker 1: j Z. You know that would be listen, man, I
Speaker 1: don't listen to Broadway shows the way you listen to
Speaker 1: Broadway musicals. Okay, I do listen to Broadway musicals, but
Speaker 1: not like do you like Hamilton's I've only seen it once,
Speaker 1: and so you don't listen to the music. I saw
Speaker 1: it on Disney. I saw it on Disney Plus. Get
Speaker 1: you Well's face, she's hurt, she's not hurt, she's not hurt.
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you Leslie odom is that his name?
Speaker 1: That dude got skilled, son, that dude got skilled. Look
Speaker 1: as a rapper period, Look, he could have stepped. I know.
Speaker 1: I know that lin Manuel wrote. I said so, I
Speaker 1: said his name, right. I know that lin Manuel Miranda
Speaker 1: wrote the raps and all of that ship. But I
Speaker 1: never expected freaking Leslie to sound like like he put
Speaker 1: the voice in it and everything with the tenn and
Speaker 1: the sending defending and the men and the dinner let
Speaker 1: me sinning in the sin in the Hamilton and and
Speaker 1: then and the George Washington dinner independing. I got the
Speaker 1: standing defending the pop pen and the pen and the
Speaker 1: pop poon in the pop pop finning. So let the
Speaker 1: dead in again and again again and again, and he
Speaker 1: had to he had no, Donald, I'm taking of a
Speaker 1: wrap to myself. I don't know if this is the
Speaker 1: proper time to interject that. Ahead, Let's let's get them
Speaker 1: sixteen bars. But I mean, like I do it as
Speaker 1: a hobby in the band, let's go sixteen bars. I
Speaker 1: don't know, how about how about twelve bars? Sixteen bars?
Speaker 1: I can hit up be for you anybody? Why say no, Donald?
Speaker 1: Are you beat barks? Then? Donald? Are you ready? Now?
Speaker 1: To Don Payson and that my dude, Zach bradfon his
Speaker 1: news to everybody's looking real loose. Yeah, everybody's looking real
Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna end all that out. Was the
Speaker 1: thing that will keep me up at night. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm just glad you didn't. I'm just glad you didn't
Speaker 1: rhyme news with Jews. But no, trust me, he was there.
Speaker 1: That's what derailed the whole thing. I was like that.
Speaker 1: I was just saying, okay, I was just saying that
Speaker 1: Leslie was tinning and that was dope to me. So um, listen,
Speaker 1: I was directing going in style. When Michael Caine went
Speaker 1: to see Hamilton's on Broadway, and it was like the
Speaker 1: height of of the Hamilton's insanity in New York City,
Speaker 1: and I go, Michael, how is your how is your night? Uh?
Speaker 1: Did you have a good sleep? And I think I
Speaker 1: went to see this Hamilton's and you know, this one's
Speaker 1: talking like this and this one's rapping like this. It
Speaker 1: was amazing. So I got to see Michael Caine's impression
Speaker 1: of Hamilton's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the best. That's the
Speaker 1: best Michael Caine impersonation. You gotta do, do a good
Speaker 1: Michael Caine impersonally. This one's talking like this one. You
Speaker 1: guys said Michael Caine. It's Michael Caine, and this one
Speaker 1: is rapping like this and the other one's talking like this.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. So that was Michael Caine. That's my Michael
Speaker 1: Caine has just seen Hamilton's impression. Dan, We're probably not
Speaker 1: gonna cut out your freestyle. A oh, Dan, you went
Speaker 1: from you went from you went from amazing guest telling
Speaker 1: us you banged on a toilet at a funeral to
Speaker 1: uh to your little point. Frankly, was your freestyle wrap?
Speaker 1: But it was? It was. It was a bad extent,
Speaker 1: But honestly, I'm completely honest. I do actually wrap all.
Speaker 1: We'll give you one more chance. You don't need to
Speaker 1: be just just go off, just to it off the
Speaker 1: top of your head, don't your beatboxing was throwing this
Speaker 1: go ahead. I'm so nervous and I really don't do
Speaker 1: off beat most of the time. My strength, You got it,
Speaker 1: You got it, Dan, Just sounds load. Just picture a beat, Dan,
Speaker 1: You got to send us your sound. You want to
Speaker 1: hear it live. We want to hear it live, not
Speaker 1: like it's not like that. Just go for it. Don't
Speaker 1: be shy. Come on, you bang in a toilet at
Speaker 1: a funeral. Don't let him bully. You don't let him bully.
Speaker 1: You dant so hard on the man right now? Ever
Speaker 1: they were pressured, Dan, Dan, there's only millions of people listening.
Speaker 1: You got this, okay? Checking So so there's millions of
Speaker 1: people listening, and there ain't nobody out here that's gonna
Speaker 1: be dissing him because it's the same rap over again.
Speaker 1: And now they're laughing. But it's never gonna stop because
Speaker 1: when I could spit back every single track, every single
Speaker 1: fact that I spits on, every single rap, and now
Speaker 1: I'm here only to spit the facts because it's my time,
Speaker 1: it's prime time, it's live, it's on. I heart, don't start.
Speaker 1: I ain't here to fart. I ain't gonna shark. I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna blow my opportunity. He ain't gonna blow my chance.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna take a stance and I'm gonna let
Speaker 1: you all know on the radio. This is the way
Speaker 1: it goes. Yo big in New York, in the house
Speaker 1: and never been a clown. I run this town. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys should see the screw face he's given right now.
Speaker 1: He's got the hard face. His face got all hard
Speaker 1: and ship at the end of that ship like I
Speaker 1: never asked for this, but instead of thunderous applause, can
Speaker 1: we have sort of a light, a light appreciative golf plas. Yes,
Speaker 1: I could do it. He's like, I take good work,
Speaker 1: Good work, Dan. I like that. I like that you
Speaker 1: you were brave and in front of millions of people
Speaker 1: and uh and that was beautiful. In fact, I'm going
Speaker 1: to play that back when I work out next on
Speaker 1: this on the on the Peloton bike. Listen, you guys
Speaker 1: have again changed my life working out too. I feel
Speaker 1: like this is like my kin I'm gonna listen to
Speaker 1: myself and work out that much harder. Yeah, I'm surprised
Speaker 1: you don't do that. I'm surprised you don't do that yet. Man,
Speaker 1: that's the best way to work out. Listen to yourself.
Speaker 1: When I said I was a wrapper, I was being
Speaker 1: tongue in cheeks, like, I don't do it seriously. I'm
Speaker 1: in a bar band where I frequently have to rap,
Speaker 1: So I'm in a bland that plays covers, all covers
Speaker 1: and all the wrap parts I did. Now. I used
Speaker 1: to freestyle like in high school and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but I don't really do it anymore. I don't have
Speaker 1: a sound cloud. And I made up a wrap one
Speaker 1: some about passover. Would you like to hear a sample
Speaker 1: of it? I would love to hear this place? Yes
Speaker 1: right now, yes, right now? Yes. Yes. I was like
Speaker 1: I was like I was like ten years old and
Speaker 1: my father said, we're gonna go on a road trip
Speaker 1: to go to a pass over sader and I recorded
Speaker 1: this rap to surprise my dad on a cassette in
Speaker 1: the car. Do it. I might have to remember the lyrics,
Speaker 1: but it was something like, I mean, this is like
Speaker 1: three years ago, but it was something like one day.
Speaker 1: Four people took a trip to Boston Elaine Hall and
Speaker 1: Zach and an Outie five thousand. The reason for this
Speaker 1: trip was passed over time. If we snook some bread
Speaker 1: and it would be a crime. Wow. Just just remember
Speaker 1: on this five hour trip ahead McDonald's m Burger King,
Speaker 1: we would skip. The reason for this deed was pass
Speaker 1: over time. If we snook some bread and it would
Speaker 1: be a crime. I got one more, one more? Why
Speaker 1: don't we go so far? And we could pray at home?
Speaker 1: The reason was unknown. Just remember your comb thunderous applause, Dan,
Speaker 1: he has been turned. All right, Dan, we gotta go.
Speaker 1: You've been a delightful guest. Thank you so much. Yes,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen giving up for freestyle. Damn, thank you, Dann.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. We're keeping that. I once when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, that was he got a little he got
Speaker 1: a little scary at the end, right, I'm I'm cutting
Speaker 1: all of that. No, you're not glorious mortifying. This is
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's gonna now. Listen, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 1: He redeemed himself a little bit with the second one. Donald, Okay,
Speaker 1: I bet you in the pantheon of passover raps written
Speaker 1: by children. Mine is somewhere on the list. You tell me,
Speaker 1: you tell me? Do weird? Now have a passover the
Speaker 1: song maybe and maybe unreleased. We gotta end this fun
Speaker 1: can show. We've gone so long. Okay, the merch people
Speaker 1: are asking about the merch. You go to cotton Bureau
Speaker 1: dot com. Uh, cotton bureau dot com, and then you
Speaker 1: just put in fake doctor's real friends and you can
Speaker 1: find it that way. And now Joel actually has a
Speaker 1: brief announcement about people who want to get on the
Speaker 1: show as the caller. Hey, guys, Joel here, I know
Speaker 1: a lot of you keep hitting me up on the
Speaker 1: social media is about where to send your mail if
Speaker 1: you want to be on the show. So I just
Speaker 1: want to clarify again, that's Scrubs I heart at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. So it's Scrubs like the show that you watch.
Speaker 1: To watch this show, I heart like the network at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. You can send your emails there. Uh,
Speaker 1: feel free to email me multiple times. It's worked for
Speaker 1: some people. I can't guarantee anything. Oh God, guys, please
Speaker 1: send questions because a lot of you are just like
Speaker 1: I want to be on the show. And I know
Speaker 1: because that's why you're emailing us, and I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1: But if you can put your questions in the box
Speaker 1: so I know what you want to ask, that's gonna
Speaker 1: be really helpful to get you onto the show. Okay,
Speaker 1: what else you want to say? Donald Yeo, Thank you
Speaker 1: all for listening. Thank you all to the front line workers,
Speaker 1: thank you all. Thanks everybody out there who checks the
Speaker 1: four of us out every Tuesday and Thursday. Appreciate it. Amen.
Speaker 1: Thank Zendia for winning that Emmy because I think she's incredible.
Speaker 1: She deserved it, you know what I mean. She's the youngest.
Speaker 1: I think she's the youngest woman to ever win the
Speaker 1: award and the second black woman to win the award. Well,
Speaker 1: she fine, dude, she fine. I'm keeping one job. She's
Speaker 1: a very beautiful, gorgeous lady. Yeah, And if that's if
Speaker 1: that's the right way to say it, then that's the
Speaker 1: right way to say it. I'm gonna tell you, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna saying that. I'm gonna say it how I feel
Speaker 1: right now. Um So, Zendia, if you're not watching, you
Speaker 1: gotta watch that show because zendia Is performance is incredible.
Speaker 1: And I remember why watching a certain scene where she's
Speaker 1: yelling through a door and you guys know the scene
Speaker 1: I'm talking about at her drug deal and I was like,
Speaker 1: I I think I turned to my girlfriend. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: she's gonna win the iman. That was incredible. That was incredible,
Speaker 1: And so I just wanted to end with saying, uh,
Speaker 1: hat tipped to her because I think she's super talented. Um.
Speaker 1: In the spirit of ending our show with music, I've
Speaker 1: been reaching out to a few bands that I know
Speaker 1: and love and that I can actually get in touch with,
Speaker 1: and one is called the Weepies. Uh. If you don't
Speaker 1: know the Weepies, they're a great band and I have
Speaker 1: one of their songs on I Wish I was here soundtrack.
Speaker 1: So I thought I would end today's show with a
Speaker 1: song I really like called Hummingbird. So thank you all
Speaker 1: for tuning in and I got permission. So here are
Speaker 1: the Weepies with Hummingbird that will faster than I and I.
Speaker 1: And if you GISs my heart, well, if you can
Speaker 1: see my heart, can't come find out words? And somehow
Speaker 1: I don't know, I wonder I don't come apart. I
Speaker 1: wonder I don't come uppart. Always like a humming bird
Speaker 1: that can't keep still listen a blobism, I never will
Speaker 1: cold out your hand yours is the only one that
Speaker 1: I do am glopon. Mm hmmm, h m hm, stowing
Speaker 1: a glass from the chamber of clean distraction for my heart, distraction,
Speaker 1: for my heart, toning like the divers every time you're near,
Speaker 1: the only sound like here, the only some days always
Speaker 1: been like a lever, And I can't keep still this ism, loverism,
Speaker 1: mine never will. Sweetness captures hindies in time, amber like
Speaker 1: your eyes, Amber like your eyes. Maybe there's a season
Speaker 1: when I'll taste that wine a symbol at a time,
Speaker 1: But the f of wine always been like a hummingbird,
Speaker 1: And that can't keep still. Listen, Lover, listen, Fine ever
Speaker 1: will listen. Lovers and I listen, Lovers and I listen,
Speaker 1: Lover listen up Fine ever will