Speaker 1: Hi, guys, I guess I should use this opportunity to
Speaker 1: tell the people. I have to come clean about something. Okay,
Speaker 1: I am in the United Kingdom. Ah oh, is that
Speaker 1: how your background is different? Wait? What? Wait? You mean
Speaker 1: you're not in America right now? No? No, you guys know.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I didn't want to be dishonest
Speaker 1: to our listeners. My girlfriend has a sick older relative
Speaker 1: and needed to come back and be by his bedside,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to be by her side because no one,
Speaker 1: as Donald could attest, was a more loving human being
Speaker 1: in the world when our friend Nick was sick than
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, and so she rushed here, and then I
Speaker 1: rushed here. We both had to quarantine for two weeks.
Speaker 1: And so the last couple of shows I didn't want
Speaker 1: to talk about in the show because they didn't want
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to get into it. But I
Speaker 1: just want in case it got out that I happen
Speaker 1: to be here. I didn't want to be dishonest to
Speaker 1: our listeners that I'm I'm I'm in London. Are you
Speaker 1: do you have to wear masks in London? Yes? Um, well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it's weird. It's sort of a weird hybrid.
Speaker 1: They're they're largely open. Everything's kind of open um, but
Speaker 1: you wear masks. When you go inside a place like
Speaker 1: a restaurant or a store, there's always hand sanitizer when
Speaker 1: you first walk in. When you win a restaurant, they
Speaker 1: take your temperature. UM. They have very interesting system that
Speaker 1: I wish the United States would one day be smart
Speaker 1: enough to adopt, and that is, when you go in
Speaker 1: a restaurant, you scan a QR code and then it
Speaker 1: knows who was in the restaurant at all times. Right,
Speaker 1: so if there were to be if there were to
Speaker 1: be an outbreak, yeah, they can contact race and say, hey,
Speaker 1: you were here at this time. That's really smart. Walking
Speaker 1: around the streets, there's not a lot of mask wearing.
Speaker 1: UM I wear it and and um Florence wears it.
Speaker 1: But it's not nearly as prevalent as as it is UM.
Speaker 1: Obviously where we are in Los Angeles, you know they
Speaker 1: there's there's spacing in restaurants. A few times we've we've eaten,
Speaker 1: we've we've eaten outside, but they do like they skip
Speaker 1: every other table. And then sometimes in a restaurant they'll
Speaker 1: have like a plexiglass screen between tables. That's sort of
Speaker 1: you know, um, some company quickly puts something into production
Speaker 1: because it's like it looks like some company is manufacturing them. Dude,
Speaker 1: I miss you, man. I'm not gonna lie. Man. I
Speaker 1: wish you were here. I made fried chicken the other night.
Speaker 1: It was delicious. I saw it on your Instagram. What's
Speaker 1: your secret? So here's the thing. I have buddies that
Speaker 1: I grew up with that now own restaurants and went
Speaker 1: to like culinary school and now are you know chefs
Speaker 1: in restaurants and stuff like that. A lot of them,
Speaker 1: my brother did the same thing, and some of them
Speaker 1: have developed niches. And one of my buddies makes pizza
Speaker 1: for a living, brick up and pizza for a living.
Speaker 1: And I you know my brother Olamide, whose music we
Speaker 1: had on the podcast he hit. He sent me a
Speaker 1: uney for my birthday. Somehow he bought it and sent
Speaker 1: it to me. He was like, you know, I hope
Speaker 1: you have fun. And I was like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: and he also works at the restaurant as a bartender
Speaker 1: that my buddy that I grew up with owns And
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, so maybe he could send me
Speaker 1: that pizza dough recipe and he sent it. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh okay, So I started making pizza in the UNI.
Speaker 1: Then my boy, who has this restaurant in Dallas, saw
Speaker 1: the love that my boy got when I posted on
Speaker 1: Instagram the pizza, and he's sent me the recipe for
Speaker 1: his famous fried chicken that he has in Dallas. And
Speaker 1: let me tell you, first of all, the pizza's phenomena.
Speaker 1: It was amazing and I can make. I now know
Speaker 1: how to make pizza for days. The fried chicken, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. First of all, I love fried chicken anyway,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's I've always loved fried chicken.
Speaker 1: And my wife is a huge Friday like fried chicken
Speaker 1: on Fried Chicken Monday. That's a restaurant around the way
Speaker 1: to has fried chicken Mondays. We would go every Monday
Speaker 1: because she loves fried chicken so much. When she was
Speaker 1: pregnant with Wilder, that's all she would want was fried chicken, right,
Speaker 1: fried chicken and mashed potatoes. So do you need a
Speaker 1: deep fryar? Yeah, no, problem is the deep friar I
Speaker 1: had only can accommodate two pieces of chicken, so it
Speaker 1: took me up to two and a half hours to
Speaker 1: make a god, oh my god. So that's that's that's
Speaker 1: that's that's the dilemma. So I gotta figure out a
Speaker 1: way to to I don't an air fryer. Someone told
Speaker 1: me about an air fryer. Have you tried that? Not?
Speaker 1: Not what you do with this chicken. You don't want
Speaker 1: to air fry it, man, You want to fry that
Speaker 1: bad boy in some oil. That's good. Listen. Air frying
Speaker 1: is great for health and for you know, cholesterol purposes
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But to your buddies, it's an
Speaker 1: insult to your buddies recipe. It's an insult to chicken period,
Speaker 1: Like a chicken. It's like you air fryed me. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna fry me and some grease by the way,
Speaker 1: did you. We don't have to say what we were
Speaker 1: talking about. But Donald was having a disagreement with his
Speaker 1: spouse and I texted him in quotes what I thought
Speaker 1: he should say to her. And I wondered, if you
Speaker 1: tried out what I what I wrote? No, no, no, no no, no,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's not a good day to do that, dude.
Speaker 1: It's not a good I thought it was kind of funny.
Speaker 1: I was kind of trying to be like your cyrano
Speaker 1: where I was saying, say this, I appreciate that, but no,
Speaker 1: you know, this whole homeschooling, uhh zoom schooling that the
Speaker 1: schools are doing right now with all the students, it
Speaker 1: really does put a lot of pressure on the parents
Speaker 1: to make sure the kids doing their job and you know,
Speaker 1: are sitting in front of the zoom and are doing
Speaker 1: their lessons and stuff like that. And you know, we're
Speaker 1: in our second day and she is, you know, she's
Speaker 1: not happy about the fact that her day is. She's
Speaker 1: she's a teacher. Also, you know what I mean, we
Speaker 1: have Yeah, we have teachers at school, and then you know,
Speaker 1: you're supposed to send your kid to school for school
Speaker 1: and not have to worry about it. But it's not
Speaker 1: like that with this whole zoom school thing. I have
Speaker 1: to say, it made me a bit sad when I
Speaker 1: saw your kids in their adorable school uniforms, and then
Speaker 1: in my brain I was like, oh, they they're not
Speaker 1: going to school, so they wear the uniforms when they
Speaker 1: sit in front of the computer. Yeah, the school prefers that,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's I don't know, that that as
Speaker 1: as someone who's not apparent and just witnessing it, that
Speaker 1: just kind of made me sad. Well, I would prefer
Speaker 1: that than them being in their pajamas all day. No, No,
Speaker 1: I know, I understand the idea behind it. It's just
Speaker 1: these poor kids are are all. I don't know it
Speaker 1: just not to be Debbie Downer, but I don't know
Speaker 1: what this does to like these kids that are in
Speaker 1: such crucial times of their lives where they should be
Speaker 1: socializing and and I don't know. I just I will
Speaker 1: say that put a little bit of a lump in
Speaker 1: my throat. I gotta be honest. I will say this.
Speaker 1: My kids right now are into it because they spent
Speaker 1: a whole summer social distancing from everyone, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like there were very few playdates this summer
Speaker 1: because of of COVID. Not to say they we we
Speaker 1: didn't meet up with friends and do outside activities where
Speaker 1: the kids couldn't you know, where the kids weren't all
Speaker 1: up on each other. But social distancing has thrown a
Speaker 1: monkey wrench in if you're a kid, it's fucked up.
Speaker 1: You know, to be a kid right now when you're
Speaker 1: supposed to go out in the summer and run around
Speaker 1: with your friends and explore and everything like that, and
Speaker 1: you guys can't get close to each other or you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So with this whole zoom thing,
Speaker 1: it's really interesting to watch. But my kids are into it.
Speaker 1: They have their own space. Like my son goes into
Speaker 1: his room and he, you know, gets to chit chat
Speaker 1: with his friends on zoom. And why does that work? Though?
Speaker 1: Like during the class, so like the teacher is leading
Speaker 1: a class, but then like, do they have time where
Speaker 1: they can I don't know how does this work when
Speaker 1: they like socialize. I know there's a lot of parents
Speaker 1: listening to this being like, oh, this guy's clueless. But
Speaker 1: I don't know kids, so I have no idea how
Speaker 1: it works. How do they do they have time where
Speaker 1: they can chit chat with their friends? Oh? Absolutely there,
Speaker 1: you know. And the great thing about it is that
Speaker 1: you know they have they also have times where the
Speaker 1: teachers are like, all right, go outside or go if
Speaker 1: you don't have a backyard, go someplace and just clear
Speaker 1: your mind and let's not think about school for thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Go and you know, my son will come downstairs and
Speaker 1: he'll eat the go outside and shoot hoops or he'll
Speaker 1: stay inside, Like can I watch the rest of Team
Speaker 1: Titans go? And I'm like, yeah, sure, no problem. Like
Speaker 1: there's there's breaks in between where the kids can you know,
Speaker 1: get away, and then at lunch time they eat together
Speaker 1: in front of the thing, and so they can really
Speaker 1: in front of the zoom, so they can. How do
Speaker 1: they all talk at the same time. Aren't they all
Speaker 1: interrupting each other? Yeah? Sure, but they get to you know,
Speaker 1: you get to you get to at least see people
Speaker 1: shoot while yeah, you know. And and if you have
Speaker 1: enough charisma like most kids do, like most phasons do,
Speaker 1: you can command zoom and be like, yo, everybody, shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Listen, listen, listen, and then the part
Speaker 1: and then just like dad, just like his dad, his
Speaker 1: dad loves a fart joke. That kid has no shortage
Speaker 1: of personality. I can tell you it's a lot of personality.
Speaker 1: He's going to be an actor, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: they're both gonna be actors. I hope that whatever they do,
Speaker 1: I just hope that they're happy when they're older and
Speaker 1: they find what it is that they want to do.
Speaker 1: That's all I can ask for me as an actor
Speaker 1: and knowing and going through all of the things that
Speaker 1: I go through, and the anxiety I have about, you know,
Speaker 1: jobs and not having jobs. I wouldn't want. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: wish that on anyone. I wouldn't mind my kid to
Speaker 1: be an actor either. Yeah, when you think about it
Speaker 1: and people are like, fucking I could do that job.
Speaker 1: You get that. I get this a lot from so
Speaker 1: many people. Are you an actor? I could? I could
Speaker 1: do it. I could be that. That's easy, man. Anybody
Speaker 1: could be an actor. Yeah, you're right, anybody can be
Speaker 1: an actor. But do you have the stamina to keep
Speaker 1: it up? Dude? You can act all you want, but
Speaker 1: do you have the stamina? Do you do? You truly
Speaker 1: have the stamina to here? No more than you've ever
Speaker 1: heard it in your life. And then when you do here, yes,
Speaker 1: to be able to do what's necessary to name. We've
Speaker 1: been so blessed and lucky, and not that we didn't
Speaker 1: hustle our asses off our whole lives, but we in
Speaker 1: addition to hustling our asses off and working at it
Speaker 1: and working at it and not giving up, we then
Speaker 1: had a beautiful roll of the dice. And I have
Speaker 1: had successful careers thus far, I know, and you know
Speaker 1: so many people that are fucking brilliant actors and you
Speaker 1: just don't know their name and their number didn't come up.
Speaker 1: And that's just I learned that early on as a kid.
Speaker 1: I would do stuff in the city and do like
Speaker 1: fleet free play readings. You know, a play reading is,
Speaker 1: you know, the playwright wants to hear the play out loud,
Speaker 1: and the castrator gets a few actors to come together
Speaker 1: and read the play and no one's getting paid. And
Speaker 1: I remember being a child and some of these things,
Speaker 1: and I would look watching some genius New York theater
Speaker 1: actor do a scene and I'd be like, my jaws
Speaker 1: on the floor. This person's like, I've never seen them before.
Speaker 1: I've never seen them in a movie, you never seen
Speaker 1: them on a TV show, and they're the fucking best
Speaker 1: actor I've ever seen. And they're here in the basement
Speaker 1: of a church doing this free play reading with me.
Speaker 1: And I remember, even a very very young age, being like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy, this is scary, like and so from
Speaker 1: me my whole career, I always was searching for other
Speaker 1: ways to make a living. If my number didn't come up,
Speaker 1: you know, I knew i'd be a cinematographer. Obviously i'd
Speaker 1: be a filmmaker, or I'd be on the camera crew.
Speaker 1: I'd be a first assistant director. I had all sorts
Speaker 1: of other plans if I wasn't lucky enough to have
Speaker 1: my number come up, because I saw, oh my god,
Speaker 1: these people are living hand to mouths and look how
Speaker 1: good they are. They're better than almost everyone on TV.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I you know, I never lived that way.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's incredible, man. I said to myself, if
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this, I got to go all in.
Speaker 1: And from an early age, that's all I thought about
Speaker 1: was being an actor. If I had an opportunity to
Speaker 1: read something, I would go and do it. And you know,
Speaker 1: I was very lucky to have parents who supported me
Speaker 1: up until I was twenty three years old. I lived
Speaker 1: at home, and even after my big break when shit's
Speaker 1: you know, still stalled and wasn't really going, my parents
Speaker 1: were there to support me until I was able to
Speaker 1: support myself and you know, my jobs. If I hadn't
Speaker 1: become an actor, I would have been so fucked because
Speaker 1: I chose not to go to college. I chose not
Speaker 1: to you know, get a conventional job. I went all
Speaker 1: in with the acting. And you know, I've been lucky,
Speaker 1: like you said, I like you said, I was very
Speaker 1: very lucky. They're both very very lucky to have our
Speaker 1: numbers called. I advise people who if you really, if
Speaker 1: it is your passion and it really needs to be
Speaker 1: like the only thing you want to do with your life,
Speaker 1: because it isn't. You know, when you see a successful actor,
Speaker 1: you might think they made it look easy, but it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not easy by any such imagination. So but if
Speaker 1: you're if you're committed to it and it's your passion,
Speaker 1: Like my nephew right now is going to school for it.
Speaker 1: It's his passion. My advice is to study other things
Speaker 1: within the field where you could make a living. Your
Speaker 1: side hustle doesn't need to be doing something that has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the industry. So study other crew positions.
Speaker 1: If production interests you, that might interest you. Become a writer,
Speaker 1: become a learned producing learn learn all sorts of skills
Speaker 1: that would at least allow you to stay within the
Speaker 1: industry that you you might love. But becoming a successful actor,
Speaker 1: um is just such a crazy lottery, you know. I
Speaker 1: always say, like, if you're a really really good actor.
Speaker 1: You've you've bought a lot of lottery tickets. Yeah, if
Speaker 1: you're if you're great looking like Donald's favorite doc partner,
Speaker 1: then you've bought more lottery tickets. If you're both, you
Speaker 1: have a shit ton of lottery tickets. But it's still
Speaker 1: a fucking lottery, right. That doesn't necessarily mean your number,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah? You know. And since
Speaker 1: I've become an actor, I have figured out ways to
Speaker 1: get other uh skills sets like stop motion animation. Like so, now,
Speaker 1: if let's say it dried up, I know I'm good
Speaker 1: enough now as of a stop motion animator to get
Speaker 1: a job in the stop motion industry, at least I
Speaker 1: think I am. You know what I mean, I think
Speaker 1: you are. But what do I know? But I think
Speaker 1: you are right. You could also be a line chef
Speaker 1: and make fried chicken. Dude, I could make some fried
Speaker 1: chicken for you. I could call it my boy and
Speaker 1: be like, listen, it ain't going well, let me work
Speaker 1: the kitchen. Yeah, and if he says I don't have
Speaker 1: room in the kitchen for you, I'll be like, well
Speaker 1: I got your recipe. Yeah, but you know what, dog
Speaker 1: that shit? Myself and you know what I know about him.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make money, chicken. The thing about you is
Speaker 1: that you're a hustler. And if shit hit the fan
Speaker 1: and you had to go, I work in McDonald's. If
Speaker 1: it should, if shit hit the fan, I would have
Speaker 1: worked in with McDonald's dog. I don't give you know what.
Speaker 1: You know what in a couple of months, you'd be
Speaker 1: the manager of the place, and then maybe in a
Speaker 1: couple of years you'd own one, because you fucking hustle,
Speaker 1: hustle donald That's what we do. And no, not nope
Speaker 1: about six seven stories about show me n stories. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're by, We're back with my own private practice. Jay Moore,
Speaker 1: our guests, Jay Moore, Yeah, refracted by uh one of
Speaker 1: our favorite directors, Mark Bucklin. I gotta say, Jay Moore,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen in a bit. I knew he was
Speaker 1: a famous he was a stand up, right, and I
Speaker 1: think he may have been on SNL yeah for a
Speaker 1: season or two maybe when you look that up for me,
Speaker 1: I know that Anthony Michael Hall was on S and
Speaker 1: Now for a season or two and they kind of
Speaker 1: look alike, right, and um, but he's really good in
Speaker 1: this episode, Dude, he's very good in this episode. He's
Speaker 1: the perfect example of a guest star that comes on.
Speaker 1: And I've said this before, it's intimidating. You're coming into
Speaker 1: a well oiled machine. All these people know each other,
Speaker 1: they've got a zillion insight jokes, everybody knows it, and
Speaker 1: you're the only person and you gotta you gotta get
Speaker 1: out of your head and just show up and be
Speaker 1: funny because you're the guest star and it's not time
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, I'm insecure. I mean, it's like,
Speaker 1: you can be insecure all you want in your fucking
Speaker 1: dressing room, or when you come to set. You got
Speaker 1: to come to play. And this guy's riffing. He's confident.
Speaker 1: You know, he made up a lot of that ship.
Speaker 1: I could just tell from his vibe. He was just
Speaker 1: kind of making it his and it's just really really impressive.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a great lesson again in the spirit
Speaker 1: of giving actors advice that he got to hit the
Speaker 1: ground running if you're a guest star on a show
Speaker 1: like this, and he does that. Yeah, I remember when
Speaker 1: we were shooting and thinking, oh, this guy's so fucking annoying.
Speaker 1: He's always on, he's always on. He's always on, and
Speaker 1: then you watch the episode and it's perfect. Look, I
Speaker 1: get it, you know what I mean. And then that
Speaker 1: became kind of my thing when I'm on set now,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. If it's a comedy and
Speaker 1: I need to keep the comedy going, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: on for a bit, you know what I mean. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be on the whole time where work. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever seen you off unless you're woozy. Unless
Speaker 1: I'm woozy. Right, unless I'm woozy, I'm always on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Other than this is one of those lessons right there
Speaker 1: where it was like all right, Like even when we cut,
Speaker 1: he's joking around with Crewe, he's joking around with actors,
Speaker 1: he's you know, he didn't shut down. You know. At
Speaker 1: the time, I was like, this is so crazy. This
Speaker 1: is annoying me because it's a joke after a joke,
Speaker 1: after a joke, after a joke, after a joke, and
Speaker 1: then you watch the episode and he's so good, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. He's really good at playing that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Joel said. He was on for two years, ninety three
Speaker 1: and ninety five. He's so good at playing that cocky,
Speaker 1: confident guy and I we learned that he slept with
Speaker 1: um Krista. Yeah, with Jordan, Well not with christ we
Speaker 1: should j Jordan, we should. Now he may have slept
Speaker 1: with Christa. I have no idea, it's none of my business.
Speaker 1: But he definitely stopped at Jordan. Bill just turned to
Speaker 1: Christa like, did did wait quick? Let's do let's do
Speaker 1: your recap. I don't have my phone because it died,
Speaker 1: so Daniel, you're gonna have to time. Donald, Um, I
Speaker 1: hope you put all sminngin more effort into this one.
Speaker 1: I put some effort into it. This is a this
Speaker 1: is a this is a tricky episode also, but I
Speaker 1: did put some effort into it. A Ready, Ready, and go.
Speaker 1: Elliot's on top of the world for the first time
Speaker 1: in our series. Carla's down on the dumps because she's
Speaker 1: not feeling sexy. Turke needs competition to get his confidence up.
Speaker 1: JD has a new friend who's teaching him how to
Speaker 1: combat his anxieties with Cox. The lessons are effective, but
Speaker 1: come with a price. Being comfortable with who you are
Speaker 1: is very important in life. If you can find a
Speaker 1: way to access said comfortability, you stick with it as
Speaker 1: long as you don't disrespect and hurt others. Wow? How many?
Speaker 1: So wait, say one part again. You said about finding
Speaker 1: a way to be yourself without disrespect. Right before you
Speaker 1: said disrespecting others, What did you say? Being comfortable with
Speaker 1: who you are is very important in life. If you
Speaker 1: can find a way to access said comfortability, you stick
Speaker 1: with it. Right. So Carla found a way to be
Speaker 1: comfortable again, you know what I mean? She the whole episode,
Speaker 1: she feels like she's not sexy. Part of it's because
Speaker 1: she's wearing an engagement ring. Unfortunately for ladies and men
Speaker 1: out there, once you tell everyone in the world I'm
Speaker 1: spoken for via engagement ring, people kind of back off,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And the ones that don't
Speaker 1: back off, those are the sleazy scumbags. Do you notice
Speaker 1: that some women women wear engagement rings? How does this
Speaker 1: ever happen to you? When when you were single, um,
Speaker 1: and you see a woman that you that you have
Speaker 1: this wearing an engagement ring and you sort of make
Speaker 1: some ended off handed comment like oh, um, how long
Speaker 1: you've been engaged? And they go, oh, I'm not engaged.
Speaker 1: I just I just wear this on this finger. And
Speaker 1: sometimes it's because they don't want to be bothered or
Speaker 1: hit on. They don't want the attention. Well that right,
Speaker 1: candidate for you to be like, oh so what's up.
Speaker 1: And then other times though, they've been like, oh, I
Speaker 1: just like wearing a ring on that finger. And I
Speaker 1: always thought when that happened, like why are you doing that?
Speaker 1: Like you you you your dream Husban might be walking
Speaker 1: by and think you're cute and then not even talk
Speaker 1: to you because he sees your ring. If you don't
Speaker 1: want to be bad, don't want to thank you. I'm tired, right,
Speaker 1: thank you? Oh guys, Oh shit, wait, something's happening. Sorry,
Speaker 1: what happened? Interrupted in Bill? I don't really have a
Speaker 1: song interrupted Bill? Oh yeah, put it much better, Donald,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it'll be perfect. Um. Look yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: little annoying to hear that. My first interrupting Bill segment
Speaker 1: was deemed too long. Um. Now, but Donald, so it
Speaker 1: was cool with it. Zach, you said it was too long.
Speaker 1: It's like a five minute monologue. Oh no, did I
Speaker 1: get in the way of you all talking about silver
Speaker 1: spoons and Star Wars? I feel horrible. Um. And by
Speaker 1: the way, the name of the Jason Bateman spinoff was
Speaker 1: it's your move. Anyways, I got a question. One of
Speaker 1: the things we did on I'll be quick, Okay. One
Speaker 1: of the things we often do on Scrubs when we
Speaker 1: were in later seasons we would look back the earlier
Speaker 1: seasons to see if we could kind of continue jokes.
Speaker 1: And we did a joke with Carla that no one
Speaker 1: saw her as attractive now that she had in this episode,
Speaker 1: now that she had an engagement ring on and later
Speaker 1: on when we brought a guest star on the show
Speaker 1: to be a love interest to JD's, we wanted to
Speaker 1: imply that she had always been at the hospital, but
Speaker 1: JD had just never noticed her. Do you know who
Speaker 1: that guestar was and how this joke with Carla relates?
Speaker 1: We set it up here. I know who it was,
Speaker 1: Donald Who was it? It was Elizabeth Banks character who
Speaker 1: JD wound up having a baby with her later on,
Speaker 1: if I'm correct, Yes, And I guess she wore an
Speaker 1: engagement ring the whole time, so nobody paid attention to her,
Speaker 1: is my guess. That sounds good? Wow, you really time
Speaker 1: this out well, Dan, You must be good at what
Speaker 1: you do, all right, Go ahead? What does he What
Speaker 1: does Bill say? Yeah? Zach, I'm guessing you got it.
Speaker 1: It was Eizabeth Banks because she was wearing a wedding ring.
Speaker 1: I hope that was quick enough. Whatever. Um, miss you guys.
Speaker 1: Now I feel bad, miss you, and now I feel bad.
Speaker 1: I think I think we hurt his feelings by saying
Speaker 1: he was totally hurt Bill Lawrence's feelings. Man, I don't
Speaker 1: love him. I'm fine with Bill going on and on
Speaker 1: and on and on. It's all right with me, and
Speaker 1: I know the fans love it. So we'll just let
Speaker 1: him go along, all right, Yeah, just let him go. Bill.
Speaker 1: You can go long. You can even do the five
Speaker 1: six seven eight. Let me tell you something right now,
Speaker 1: that was probably the sneakiest five six seven eight five six.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. Okay, I'm not doing it anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm not um somebody to amuse you that just comes
Speaker 1: and does the numbers. So we'll think of a new
Speaker 1: gag today. It's just five six seven eight seven. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, come on now. People are like, he's definitely out,
Speaker 1: But the joke is going to be that I'm not. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't believe it. I somehow don't believe it. Is
Speaker 1: there more, takeing dot and no, don't turn it off.
Speaker 1: Let h play. That's the whole thing, all right, all right, listen,
Speaker 1: I gotta say something. Bill is experiencing something as a
Speaker 1: writer he's never experienced, and that is that he has
Speaker 1: a hit catchphrase and he doesn't want to give it up.
Speaker 1: I don't think he should give it up. As long
Speaker 1: as sneaky and funny it works. He finally, in his
Speaker 1: career as a writer, probably never imagined he'd have his
Speaker 1: own what you're talking about, willis, and he finally has one,
Speaker 1: and he keeps trying to be cool guy about it,
Speaker 1: being like, nah, I'm not gonna do it anymore over it,
Speaker 1: but he can't give it up. It's like crack crack.
Speaker 1: He why would right, Well, shit, I've never tried crack,
Speaker 1: but I hear that's one of the most addicting things
Speaker 1: in the world. Do you know? Do you know what
Speaker 1: else is addicting? Have being a catchphrase that that's almost
Speaker 1: as addicting. Dude, Listen, that's what I'm talking about has
Speaker 1: traveled with me from Scrubs to pretty much everything else
Speaker 1: that I've done in life. Once I heard that, people
Speaker 1: like that's what I'm talking about, I said that shit,
Speaker 1: over and over again, Eagle another one. Eagle's gone on
Speaker 1: forever and ever and ever. You can't not post eagle
Speaker 1: once that. I'll bet Jalil White is not saying did
Speaker 1: I do that? To anybody these days? If they pay
Speaker 1: his ass a lot of money, I bet you he'd
Speaker 1: be like, did I do that? He'd like, how much
Speaker 1: did I do that? How much that I told you? When? When? When?
Speaker 1: When once his name was on UM Good Times, JJ Walker,
Speaker 1: he was like, I'll do the show, but diano, Mike
Speaker 1: costs more, a lot more. And I understand that. He's like,
Speaker 1: it's my catch phrase. I'm gonna run with it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I bet you if Gary Coleman, if somebody said, when
Speaker 1: God rest is Soul to the late great Gary Kleece
Speaker 1: and peace Babe, somebody said Gary, we needed what you're
Speaker 1: going what you're talking about willis at this point, or
Speaker 1: what you're talking about somebody at this point, he'd be like,
Speaker 1: that's gonna cost extra of course, of course, get that money,
Speaker 1: make that money, make that money. I bet you, Mike,
Speaker 1: if Mike, if you had Mike Jackson on a song
Speaker 1: rest is Soul, if you had rest and Peaks, if
Speaker 1: you had if you had Mike Jackson on the song,
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson on a song, and he said, ay, or schaman,
Speaker 1: I bet you that costs more money. I gave you
Speaker 1: a chalman, I gave you a shaman. You don't have
Speaker 1: to pay a nug to ten thousand. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: bet a lot of producers I mean not. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying DJ klled or Puffy because they're obviously very successful,
Speaker 1: but I bet there's other producers who have a little
Speaker 1: catch phrases who like really didn't do anything else, but
Speaker 1: come on and be like it's me. I'm the produced
Speaker 1: the little catch phrase. Whatever their catch phrase is, well
Speaker 1: whatever the equivalent of another one is right if you right?
Speaker 1: Or take take take it, take it. For the longest
Speaker 1: was like yeah major key puppy for the longest was like,
Speaker 1: can't stop, won't stop, can't stop, won't stop. To that
Speaker 1: we won't stop. I thought I told you that we
Speaker 1: won't stop. I thought I told you that we won't stop.
Speaker 1: The fact that Zach knows that people is a bit,
Speaker 1: you know, because I was asked him how he knows it,
Speaker 1: asked him how he knows it? I know it. I
Speaker 1: was peeing on all those music videos. I peered in
Speaker 1: a lot of rap videos in ninety in the in
Speaker 1: the in the in like let's say ninety five to
Speaker 1: ninety nine, Wow, when all that ship was going down.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've worked on high Williams video, but
Speaker 1: I worked on a lot of videos. I wanted to
Speaker 1: work Hype Williams video because he was you know, he
Speaker 1: was the cool guy. Well Hype, come on man, hypad
Speaker 1: whoever was a cinematographer for Hype Williams videos. It was
Speaker 1: one of the reason why Hypes was so hyper. I
Speaker 1: wonder what hype just here? Just hypead like a monopoly.
Speaker 1: Along with a woman names you know who I worked
Speaker 1: on a woman who did a lot of them too
Speaker 1: was her name is Diane Martell, and I worked on
Speaker 1: a bunch of her videos. She did a lot of
Speaker 1: She did a lot of videos. Well they don't make
Speaker 1: music videos anymore, Well they do, but not like come
Speaker 1: on man, music video on the beach with who did that?
Speaker 1: But that ain't that ain't a Hype Williams video though.
Speaker 1: That's like somebody somebody was like, Hype, we don't have
Speaker 1: that budget. Just take the video camera and know the
Speaker 1: Hype Williams signature was the wide angle lens in the
Speaker 1: tunnel with the fluorescent tubes going down the whole tunnel
Speaker 1: and everyone coming up into the into the wide angle
Speaker 1: lens and being did you in the face did you
Speaker 1: ever see Belly? No? He directed A Belly is a
Speaker 1: Hype Williams directed movie. Visually, that shit is amazing visually,
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Belly is a classics he directed. I bet
Speaker 1: he directed. Um is it worth that? Let mean work?
Speaker 1: Get put your thing down? Maybe you reverse, well you
Speaker 1: got directed that video. I bet that was Hype Williams
Speaker 1: because that was his style. And if it wasn't I Williams,
Speaker 1: it's someone who like, if you ever get the chance,
Speaker 1: if you ever get the chance, ghost watch Belly. Okay,
Speaker 1: that shit visually is one of the dopest movies, especially
Speaker 1: hood movies, that you will ever see hood movies. That
Speaker 1: shit is fire. And when I say hood movies, I
Speaker 1: mean urban, I mean black, I mean fucking about drugs
Speaker 1: and fucking That's what I mean. I'm saying that ship
Speaker 1: was straight for the hood, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I've been in a couple of hood classics. I've been
Speaker 1: in a bunch of them. By the way, I just
Speaker 1: want to remembering Joel, you were saying that there was
Speaker 1: a lot of women out there who were like the
Speaker 1: early precursors to two songs like what the Wop song?
Speaker 1: And it just made me think of that song. She's like,
Speaker 1: if you've got a bit, I mean a lot of
Speaker 1: it's bleeped, but she's like, she's saying a lot of
Speaker 1: crazy shit, that wop song. That Wop song is fired. Dude.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, man, And that video, it's not that I
Speaker 1: keep listening. It's not that I keep listening to it.
Speaker 1: It's just that I keep visualizing the video from that ship. Dude,
Speaker 1: that shit it's really her or you like the visuals, dude?
Speaker 1: Come on, come on, man, I the one person that
Speaker 1: doesn't like the other than other than all the Republicans
Speaker 1: that are out there fucking saying that this shit is
Speaker 1: not good for kids. Where she really? I gotta ask
Speaker 1: this and then we'll get back to the show. But
Speaker 1: did they really mention freaking Cardi B at the republic
Speaker 1: National Convention? What's her? Did her name really come up?
Speaker 1: Cardi Cardi? Oh, that's what I'm talking about. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Yo. My catch phrase is in effect
Speaker 1: for that. That's what I'm talking about. She ruffled some feathers. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, let's talk about basketball. Um. The show opens
Speaker 1: with us playing one thirty seven. Um, I go, how
Speaker 1: the hell do we lose? We have chat and Chet's
Speaker 1: like eight feet tall and he's like sorry man, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, chat, you suck. Yeah. Now, I don't know
Speaker 1: there's that many times. Only a handful of times JD
Speaker 1: is playing basketball. I don't think it's Um. Actually we
Speaker 1: play a lot. Actually yeah, because you're all we always
Speaker 1: need a fourth Okay. Sorry. Dave Myers was also I
Speaker 1: don't mean to minimize Dave Myers contribution. He was also
Speaker 1: a huge music video director. He directed work It, which
Speaker 1: if you haven't seen, you should go check out. It's
Speaker 1: a really cool video for a Missy Elliott song, Work It.
Speaker 1: Missy had some great videos. Now Aloma gets into dunking.
Speaker 1: I think I remember there being a stunt double because
Speaker 1: I know Aloma wasn't doing all that right, and she's
Speaker 1: like doing she's definitely doing a dribbling part for a second,
Speaker 1: but then there's cut to her legs and some woman's
Speaker 1: doing like through the legs stuff, and then some woman
Speaker 1: hits a trampoline and does something like a major dunk.
Speaker 1: That's not a loma, it could be, and then she
Speaker 1: lands and she goes, y'all got hockey? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you ahead. There are on
Speaker 1: a lot of black people who play hockey in the
Speaker 1: NHL right now. It's growing. But are there more than
Speaker 1: Are there more than two? Yeah? Absolutely more than two.
Speaker 1: There's more than a handful. There's more than ten. Um
Speaker 1: Joel's on it. My brother, My brother played hockey. We
Speaker 1: grew up in House Kitchen, New York, and that's a
Speaker 1: big hockey part of Manhattan. Would he play street hockey
Speaker 1: like on rollerblades. He would play on rollerblades and he
Speaker 1: would play ice hockey. Shout out to all the cats
Speaker 1: from fifty second Street, you know cats that living seven
Speaker 1: forty seven Clinton, that that whole area. These cats all
Speaker 1: played hockey. A lot of them were white, but there
Speaker 1: were a lot of black kids that played hockey too
Speaker 1: because of our neighborhood. You know, Ruler Blades would have
Speaker 1: been a really horrible stock to be involved with because
Speaker 1: they've just completely disappeared from the world. They're making a comeback.
Speaker 1: They did they're currently making a comeback. You see a
Speaker 1: lot of the ig Ruler girls, a lot of it's
Speaker 1: a lot of like girls at skate parks pulling mad
Speaker 1: cool stunts or wouldn't fly as hell. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: about to say, I think I think skateboarding really took
Speaker 1: a you know, skateboarding was popular and then it died down,
Speaker 1: and now it's made such a huge comeback. Like skateboarding
Speaker 1: so huge, but not rollerblading. Dude, Remember rollerblades were everywhere.
Speaker 1: But I think I think now you can't any break, right.
Speaker 1: I think when people took a break from skateboarding, they
Speaker 1: got into rollerblades, and then that kind of went away
Speaker 1: also because it was like, all right, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I feel you could be in such good shape if
Speaker 1: you're a good rollerblader, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: maybe they were getting hit by cars or something like that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. You know, that's not it.
Speaker 1: That's not it. Like I'm looking at it like this,
Speaker 1: if you roll I grew up in a city and
Speaker 1: in Manhattan, right, and everybody in the early nineties was rollerblading. Everybody.
Speaker 1: They made a movie about it. A dude, I went
Speaker 1: to high school with was the star of the movie,
Speaker 1: Seth Green and Jack Black. They were in the movie.
Speaker 1: What's the movie called? Rollerblade? The movie maybe something like
Speaker 1: that roller buddies blades like blades, right something I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You're talking about Brink? Are you? Is Jack Black and Brink? Well? No,
Speaker 1: but it's like the most famous rollerblading movie. It's the
Speaker 1: one Airborne Airborne. That's yeah, it's the one at the
Speaker 1: end of the movie they go down a hill as
Speaker 1: a rollerblade race or something. Rollerblades became so popular they
Speaker 1: made a rollerblading movie. I went to high school with
Speaker 1: the star of that movie, and he would roller blade
Speaker 1: all around from school. Like when when the movie came out,
Speaker 1: I was like, it's only perfect that Shane's in this
Speaker 1: movie because this dude used to roller blade all the
Speaker 1: time when we were in school. That's all he did,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Anyway, My point is it
Speaker 1: got really hot, and then all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: think skateboarding made a comeback. Man like Tony Hawk and
Speaker 1: the Jackass guys and all that shit. I think that
Speaker 1: became way more popular again and rollerblading had to take
Speaker 1: a back seat. Yeah. Well I just I'm surprised that
Speaker 1: they're completely gone. Like if you walk down the street,
Speaker 1: you just will not see anyone. And it was so
Speaker 1: and I went when I went to Northwestern, it was
Speaker 1: there were so many on the campus, so many people
Speaker 1: doing it, and the probably all had great legs too,
Speaker 1: like their casts were probably like now you would do
Speaker 1: a double take. Now you would do a double take
Speaker 1: if you saw someone, you know. Yeah, I just think
Speaker 1: it's bizarre when something was that popular and then for
Speaker 1: no reason. It's not like it became like no longer
Speaker 1: a good mode of transportation, no longer good exercise. It
Speaker 1: just disappeared entirely. But here's the thing about the hockey.
Speaker 1: The hockey thing. Some of the best hockey players obviously
Speaker 1: have always been white, right, some of the best basketball
Speaker 1: players in the history of basketball, we're white also, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So to say y'all have hockey,
Speaker 1: it's kind of bullshit. Because the NBA, regardless of how
Speaker 1: you may look at like, for an African American male
Speaker 1: to get out of the hood, you gotta and if
Speaker 1: it's not through education, it's through sports. And so football
Speaker 1: and basketball, yes, are a very good way to make it, right,
Speaker 1: But there's a bunch of people that don't make it right.
Speaker 1: White dudes play basketball too. One of the best basketball
Speaker 1: players in the league right now is Luca don Chicken
Speaker 1: and he's not even from America, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And he's white. I can't say that about hockey. I
Speaker 1: can't say, ooh, one of the top five hockey players
Speaker 1: in the league is black. You'll never you can't say
Speaker 1: that shit because it's not true. Well, I can tell
Speaker 1: you from from my own personal knowledge, not reading Joel's message,
Speaker 1: that three percent of NHL is non white, and there
Speaker 1: are twenty six black players in the NHL. I would
Speaker 1: have I wouldn't have thought it was that high. So
Speaker 1: you were right, Donald, it's increasing. At least. Let's move on. Okay,
Speaker 1: Let's talk about how Sarah is unable to talk about
Speaker 1: her poos in front of her boyfriend, Nurse Flowers. She
Speaker 1: says that she calls it a twosie in front of
Speaker 1: him and in front of patients. When I admonish her
Speaker 1: for being a doctor, she says that she says, dukie right.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, Yeah, how long did
Speaker 1: it take before your girlfriend was willing to dukie? In
Speaker 1: the same house. I don't like to not just just
Speaker 1: just not talk about it. I don't. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: a don't ask, don't tell situation. It's implied. Sometimes it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go have some private time right now. I
Speaker 1: know you're married, So you're like, she's like brushing her
Speaker 1: teeth and you're taking a dump. Well, I'm brushing my
Speaker 1: teeth and she's taking it. Remember that in that Scrubs
Speaker 1: episode that actually is funny and I think this was
Speaker 1: my joke, is that you and Judy are in the
Speaker 1: bathtub taking a romantic bath, and then the camera pulls
Speaker 1: back to reveal that I'm on the toilet pooing, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry about the twosy guys, and I spread this.
Speaker 1: I have no recollection of that, but that's allow. The
Speaker 1: joke was somehow that we have to all live together
Speaker 1: and you guys are getting over it and like the music,
Speaker 1: it shows like candles, lid and shit, and then the
Speaker 1: camera Dolly's back to reveal me in the foreground on
Speaker 1: the just flushing, going sorry about the twosy guys. That
Speaker 1: is hilarious. Dude. Let's talk about how Elliott is like
Speaker 1: on top of the world. Old. This is the first
Speaker 1: time we've ever seen her character so happy. Man, Ye,
Speaker 1: Like she's never this happy. And she has a moment
Speaker 1: where she falls back into it where you know, Carlo
Speaker 1: says something about not being sexy and Elliott thinks he's
Speaker 1: talking about herself, talking about her. But this is it's
Speaker 1: a refreshing moment, you know what I mean. Like, it's
Speaker 1: really good to see Elliott having having a good time
Speaker 1: in life. Her patients love her, She's happily in a relationship.
Speaker 1: The one thing that she has a problem with is
Speaker 1: taking a crap and pissing. Yeah, you know, when he's
Speaker 1: around and she can't pee in front of him. I thought, well,
Speaker 1: she makes him turn up the music when she's when
Speaker 1: she's going pee because she doesn't want him to hear
Speaker 1: the urine splashing in the Yeah, I understand that. I
Speaker 1: definitely worry when um when um, I do wonder worry
Speaker 1: when everyone's around, Um if if my poo can be heard,
Speaker 1: So I'll I'll go on my phone and play like
Speaker 1: some some Taylor Swift or something, just to blast I
Speaker 1: sit out so no one can hear any any action
Speaker 1: in the toilet. I don't mind. I don't I don't
Speaker 1: mind a healthy stream. I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 1: If I'm going pee and it's a healthy stream, I
Speaker 1: want everybody to hear it. I'm not talking about I'm
Speaker 1: talking about it's like a stream. I'm talking about kerk plumps.
Speaker 1: Like Dan put a kirk plump sound effect here. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. No, no, no, no, please Dan, no please
Speaker 1: Dan No, just a kurnump. Fuck you, Zach, no way, dude,
Speaker 1: no turn grossy No, I'm not talking about it. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about a fart noise. I'm talking about the
Speaker 1: kur plump into the into the water. That is disgusting.
Speaker 1: Let's move on, all right. I'm sorry fans, You'll just
Speaker 1: have to imagine your own kirk plump sound effect. I guess, gross,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite um expression for for pooping? Taking a shit?
Speaker 1: Mine's growing a tail? Oh wow, Welcome America. I've never
Speaker 1: heard welcome. That is so fuss. That was worth the
Speaker 1: price of admission. Oh now, Sah does a very sexy dance.
Speaker 1: Uh uh sorry, it's been things one hundred eight degrees,
Speaker 1: but yeah, what a transition. That's how you know I'm
Speaker 1: a professional broadcaster. Joel from growing a tail to a
Speaker 1: sexy dance Zach Braf's transitions rock. So this man has
Speaker 1: an arcalepsy and it's triggered by being turned on, which
Speaker 1: I have to believe must be a real thing. And um,
Speaker 1: Sarah wants to prove that she can turn him on.
Speaker 1: And she goes in there and she's really flirting with him,
Speaker 1: and then she goes all out and bends over it
Speaker 1: and sticks her tush in his face. That was something
Speaker 1: that we used to play. Though we used to do
Speaker 1: that Oops I Dropped something, and Sarah obviously was the
Speaker 1: queen of Oops I dropped something. And this was Oops
Speaker 1: I dropped something in the show. Yes, I think it's
Speaker 1: safe to say that Sarah is skilled at playing Oops
Speaker 1: I dropped something. Oops I dropped something is It's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite games ever that we've ever come up
Speaker 1: with while making the show, because dudes could do it too.
Speaker 1: I would do ooops I dropped something. Also, Oops I
Speaker 1: dropped my ass? Are you kidding me? Oops? I dropped something?
Speaker 1: Is amazing. People gotta get out of the way when
Speaker 1: you oops or dropped something, because they're like, look out
Speaker 1: when Donald plays oops I dropped something, you hear beep
Speaker 1: beep something. People have to get out of the way.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Cardi B, and oops, I dropped something. That
Speaker 1: Wop video is amazing again, you're bringing Wow. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of oops. I dropped something in that video. Dude.
Speaker 1: I only watched it once. I didn't want to get
Speaker 1: caught watching it multiple times. I can't get in trouble
Speaker 1: for watching a fucking video. Dude, Get out of here. Dude,
Speaker 1: I'm married. Look if you're If you're married and you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship, anybody out there, everyone out there, And
Speaker 1: I want to take a poll on this. Is it
Speaker 1: wrong to watch a music video of a bunch of
Speaker 1: women dancing provocatively if you're married? Is that? I think not.
Speaker 1: I think not once, and I think the second time.
Speaker 1: You can go, baby, how crazy is this? But I
Speaker 1: think if she comes in the room and you're like
Speaker 1: and she sees the like, you're on your twentieth time.
Speaker 1: Some women might be like, bro, chill with the fucking
Speaker 1: Wop video. But it's not like any of these dudes
Speaker 1: like Cardi B or Mega Stallion. Hold up, it's not
Speaker 1: like Meg the Stallion and Cardi B are giving back.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? If I'm looking at Cardi
Speaker 1: B and Mega Stallion and the other fine young ladies
Speaker 1: in this music video. It's not like they're looking at
Speaker 1: me saying, oh yeah, I want me some Donald Fazon.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. And my wife knows that shit.
Speaker 1: I told you guys this. My wife tells me all
Speaker 1: the time, motherfucker. They don't want you. They don't want you,
Speaker 1: even when I'm looking at my best, even when I've
Speaker 1: worked out for six months straight and the abs are
Speaker 1: on fleek. My wife's like, they don't want you. Oh
Speaker 1: she's just trying to. She's just trying to get in
Speaker 1: your head. By the way, I don't true though. They
Speaker 1: don't want me. They don't want me. I'm married Cardi B.
Speaker 1: If I was Cardie B, I would put my wop
Speaker 1: all over you. Oh my god, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: just oh my, you would be covered, gracious, you would
Speaker 1: be covered in wap. It will be raining wap. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, Oh my god. They can take a shower. Now,
Speaker 1: let's go to break. Let's go to break. Booby right back,
Speaker 1: you look like I do right, and I do declare
Speaker 1: you know, like you know, when like a newborn calf
Speaker 1: comes out and it's all like wet my mom ask,
Speaker 1: that's what you'd look like. That's that's that's that's what
Speaker 1: you'd looked like after I was done with you. And
Speaker 1: we are back with James Paw do you say your
Speaker 1: last name? Dude, Chris with James Paul Gres. We are
Speaker 1: back with James Paul trying to mess up the Oprah
Speaker 1: intro if you have to Oprah never paused and said,
Speaker 1: how do you say your last name? And he's like,
Speaker 1: she has Cruise. I'm sure use well, I mean, James
Speaker 1: Paul Gress is not Tom Cruise yet, James, James yet,
Speaker 1: you will be one day, we believe James shirt. Dude,
Speaker 1: that's a dope shirt that says Hank Freud. It's nice.
Speaker 1: That's dope. Nice. And I see you have something related
Speaker 1: to my face on on behind you. What's that about? Um,
Speaker 1: that's it's it's your doctor akula photo. Oh nice. I'm glad.
Speaker 1: It's not like to do list kill James. Where are
Speaker 1: you calling from, sir? Uh? Cleveland, Ohio? Well, my favorite
Speaker 1: one of my favorite cities, Cleveland, Ohio. I love. Donald's
Speaker 1: gonna ask you about restaurants. He's gonna ask you about restaurants.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna ask about restaurants. We've already had conversations
Speaker 1: about the restaurants. But dude, have you been the Slimon's. No, No,
Speaker 1: you've never been to Slimon's and you're from Cleveland. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're saying it wrong, Donald, Maybe it's something right, Jamie,
Speaker 1: are you still there by the way while he works
Speaker 1: out his tech problem? Do you we skip something that's
Speaker 1: very crucial in this episode when I say thanks a
Speaker 1: latte to Jay Moore? Nah, thanks, And then you didn't
Speaker 1: get that. You didn't get the joke my character. You
Speaker 1: didn't get the joke. And also we spoke about how
Speaker 1: poorly some people hold coffee cups when they're supposed to
Speaker 1: be full in television shows. And I want to apologize.
Speaker 1: This was a horrible I'm holding it with two fingers
Speaker 1: and it looks like there's nothing in there at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I apologize to the fans for horrible coffee acting. James,
Speaker 1: are you back? I'm back? Right. So you're in Cleveland
Speaker 1: and you haven't had Slimon's. So well, you were saying
Speaker 1: Simon's before I said slide, but the L slide. I
Speaker 1: didn't hear the L. I thought you were saying, Simons,
Speaker 1: have you had Slimon's before? I've had it. I haven't
Speaker 1: gone there. My wife has gone there and brought me
Speaker 1: food from there. That's the biggest sandwich I've ever had
Speaker 1: in my life. It's so delicious. You're kind of like
Speaker 1: Homer Simpson down you like dream of old sandwiches you had?
Speaker 1: Not only do I dream of old sandwiches I have.
Speaker 1: I love donuts. Speaking of donuts, everybody keeps asking me
Speaker 1: about the donut machine. Yeah, you returned the machine. I've
Speaker 1: returned it. I returned the donut machine because that shit
Speaker 1: was way too big and that would have taken a
Speaker 1: lot of oil one to freaking make these donuts. So
Speaker 1: I apologize to everybody who had dreams of me doing
Speaker 1: Donnie's donuts and stuff like that. One guy, just like
Speaker 1: a branding situation, I could not do it. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I apologize to everyone. James, I am sorry. I aloud
Speaker 1: you have put in could you your new your new
Speaker 1: hobby of tried chicken? Could you have put that in
Speaker 1: the donut machine and just maybe that would have helped
Speaker 1: you make all the chicken you want to make. When
Speaker 1: I look back at it now, that probably would have
Speaker 1: been a great idea, but I don't know how long.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like the Crispy Cream conveyor belt, so
Speaker 1: it goes through and it's it's all timed out perfectly.
Speaker 1: So no, I probably could have, but I don't know
Speaker 1: how cooked the chicken would have been. Beyont. It's not
Speaker 1: about the donut machine. It's not about the machine. Rush up.
Speaker 1: Have you gone on the internet and looked up how
Speaker 1: much a commercial deep friars yet? Be honest, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest with you, because that chicken was so good. Yes,
Speaker 1: I have. Not only not only that, not only that,
Speaker 1: but the way he reached out. UNI reached out to me. Suh, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they did after they saw the pizza that I posted.
Speaker 1: And we're in conversation right now, so shout out to
Speaker 1: NY Pizza Ovens. We're gonna talk about you guys for
Speaker 1: a hot second, because yes, absolutely I want the pro Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm gonna shout out UNI myself and Wen.
Speaker 1: They are not sponsored by us. We get no kickback,
Speaker 1: but we can both tell you that this is a
Speaker 1: really cool thing. By the way, you can't get one
Speaker 1: right now because they're so back back back order, but
Speaker 1: you could probably get one by Christmas. It's a great present.
Speaker 1: They're not that crazy expensive for what it is. I
Speaker 1: think they're like there might be like three four hundred bucks,
Speaker 1: but it's it's an outdoor pizza oven. You either next
Speaker 1: to a propane tank or you can do it with
Speaker 1: wood and charcoal if you want. But this is like
Speaker 1: this like made me and flows summer. I mean, she
Speaker 1: just started getting so into it, and then we got
Speaker 1: all our friends into it, and we, like Donald's now obsessed.
Speaker 1: So definitely it's a great Christmas present if you can
Speaker 1: get in now before they're before they're all sold out,
Speaker 1: because I imagine it'll be impossible to get one for Christmas.
Speaker 1: But if you the good friends at Uney, we're not
Speaker 1: going to keep giving you free promotion unless you step
Speaker 1: up production. I think they're made in Sweden or Switzerland
Speaker 1: or something. I don't know, but it was delicious. Look, man,
Speaker 1: he was one of the it's one of the best
Speaker 1: home cooking products that I have. But we're not talking
Speaker 1: about all of that stuff right now. We're here with James. Yes, James, James.
Speaker 1: If the good people at Duney really would step it up,
Speaker 1: we could be doing shit like and James, for being
Speaker 1: a great caller, We're sending you an Uoney pizza oven
Speaker 1: for your backyard. I'm just happy to be on the
Speaker 1: podcast with you guys. I didn't have it all right. Sorry,
Speaker 1: this was gonna happen for me. You didn't think it
Speaker 1: was to happen every single day for I want to say,
Speaker 1: like three months. Wow, that persistent started. July first is
Speaker 1: when I caught up to the most current podcast, and
Speaker 1: that's when I started. And it was just one email
Speaker 1: for the first two days, and then it turned into
Speaker 1: two emails a day, and then it just kind of
Speaker 1: got out of control. I went back and counted it's total.
Speaker 1: It's one hundred and sixty six emails since July first. Wow.
Speaker 1: What was the bad guy's name in Romancing the Stone
Speaker 1: that was chasing after Joan Wilder and uh, Michael Douglas's character.
Speaker 1: I'm looking it up. I crack up every time because
Speaker 1: he was so persistent, right, and even the even the
Speaker 1: dude who has the mule, the drug dealer who has
Speaker 1: the mule and is driving the uh the mule, hef
Speaker 1: a the car. It's like a Bronco or some shit.
Speaker 1: Like that, and he looks back, he goes, Wow, this
Speaker 1: guy is very persistent. That's you, Jamie, that's you. I
Speaker 1: even I tweeted all three of you a video where
Speaker 1: I do a JD thinking in his head thing about
Speaker 1: me never getting on the podcast. Oh my gosh. Wow.
Speaker 1: Well you know what, listen all to all of our
Speaker 1: listeners out there who have aspirations of dreams and dreams
Speaker 1: of being on Fake Doctor's real friends. Take Jamie's for
Speaker 1: Joel's Joel's. Yeah, all rights, go hard, go hard at Joel,
Speaker 1: and she might let something slip through. That's all, you know.
Speaker 1: The real lesson is, however hard you thought you were
Speaker 1: going at something, somebody else was going harder. There, there
Speaker 1: it is, there, it is there, it is You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is James. Yes, okay, James, Um, that
Speaker 1: is quite an intro. What is your question? You've been
Speaker 1: very persistent. Um. I hope that you have one after
Speaker 1: all this time. I do. I actually I wanted to
Speaker 1: try and the turt to my JD on here. His
Speaker 1: name is Ben, but he's at work. He couldn't show up,
Speaker 1: so I have a question from me and one from him.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to ask if you guys could do
Speaker 1: a quick shout out to my brother in law Mike
Speaker 1: and my best friend Ben, because they would have also
Speaker 1: loved to have been on your Mike, Ben, Jamie wanted
Speaker 1: us to shout you out, so we're gonna do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know your last name. Good, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: So any Mike and Been out there can take this
Speaker 1: as a shout out. Obviously. It's just all the Mikes
Speaker 1: and Ben's out there are listen. If your name is
Speaker 1: Mike or Ben, I love you, I love you. No wait, wait, Zach,
Speaker 1: I love them more. WHOA Okay, so this could be
Speaker 1: your This could be your own personal ring tone. Mike, Ben,
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you more. Okay, all right
Speaker 1: now go ahead. James ask us a question. The one
Speaker 1: that I had was every time I watched the point
Speaker 1: where j he finally admits that he put the quarter
Speaker 1: in the work at the end of that exchange, I
Speaker 1: feel like there that there was at the beginnings of
Speaker 1: a friendship between him and the janitor, rather than them
Speaker 1: still being enemies. And I wondered if, if if Neil
Speaker 1: Flynn was up to it, if you guys would actually
Speaker 1: record just sometime after that that point, j D and
Speaker 1: the Janitor are just getting along and getting into trouble
Speaker 1: together because I feel like, rather than trying to get
Speaker 1: j D in trouble, the janitor would still do his
Speaker 1: crazy stop and now he would invite him along for it. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. After season eight, Neil got another show
Speaker 1: and went on to do a television a very big
Speaker 1: popular television show called The Middle. And there was a
Speaker 1: moment in season nine, the first episode where he came
Speaker 1: back for one episode two in the whole JD Janitor thing,
Speaker 1: where he's like, he comes to work and he's like, so,
Speaker 1: where's JD. And I'm like, he's gone, he doesn't work
Speaker 1: here anymore. And the janitor is like, well, you know what, then,
Speaker 1: I'm not working here anymore. That's pretty much a joke,
Speaker 1: and he leaves, and so there was closure. I like
Speaker 1: to think that that would have happened too. I think
Speaker 1: the Janitor and JD do become friendship. I had something
Speaker 1: for you, James that's gonna help you out with your fantasy,
Speaker 1: and that is that when I was promoting alex Inc.
Speaker 1: One of the most popular shows to ever go only
Speaker 1: ten episodes ever, Neil was did you guys get ten? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we did ten, ten magical episodes, one of the most
Speaker 1: popular episode, one of the most popular shows ever to
Speaker 1: get ten Yeah, I think it is. If you look
Speaker 1: at the Guinness Book World records, it's the show that
Speaker 1: only went ten episodes that was the most popular in
Speaker 1: the most amount of people's hearts. Yeah. Those people didn't
Speaker 1: necessarily watch the show, but they were rooting for it
Speaker 1: in their hearts. Well, you know what, the most popular
Speaker 1: show to ever get twelve episodes was right that thing
Speaker 1: you did in Jersey Emergence. Emergence was one of those
Speaker 1: shows that I'm gonna tell you something right now. ABC
Speaker 1: knew they had gold, it's just the people didn't. A
Speaker 1: lot of shows get canceled that are good. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm joking about alex Sync. I don't think that
Speaker 1: it was fully working. But there's plenty of shows I like,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure lots of listeners that are like, why
Speaker 1: why did you cancel that? I mean, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying Scrubs because we did nine years depending on
Speaker 1: what you believe, but I'm so much shows that go
Speaker 1: like two or three seasons and they're done, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to say that when we were when I was
Speaker 1: promoting the show James, Neil was kind enough to do
Speaker 1: some promotional stuff for me because we knew the fans
Speaker 1: would would love it, and we did one of those
Speaker 1: things where we tell dad jokes to each other and
Speaker 1: we try and make each other laugh. So it's on YouTube,
Speaker 1: you can go check it out. It's like Neil and
Speaker 1: I sitting across from each other, obviously not in character
Speaker 1: as Jad and the Janitor, and we're trading dad jokes
Speaker 1: and the ideas like they're so bad. Sometimes you just
Speaker 1: got to laugh because you're so stupid, and we're trying,
Speaker 1: like you're trying not to laugh at the dad joke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen a bunch of those. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I missed. You're the woman. You Well, you go check
Speaker 1: it out if you Yeah, if you go look up
Speaker 1: that he was nice enough to do that with me.
Speaker 1: So that's sort of like the one example I can
Speaker 1: think of right now of like me and Neil being
Speaker 1: friends in real life. I really like Neil a lot.
Speaker 1: He's he's such a wonderful funny man. Are just our
Speaker 1: paths don't cross a ton and irl as the kids say.
Speaker 1: I also wanted to tell you about about a year
Speaker 1: and a half ago. I was going to the doctor's office.
Speaker 1: I had to go into the hospital to get some
Speaker 1: some papers, and on my way in there happened to
Speaker 1: be a janitor working there and he was pulling rocks
Speaker 1: out of the track for the door because they have
Speaker 1: gotten stuck, and I just I couldn't help myself. At first.
Speaker 1: I went inside and I said, if he still might
Speaker 1: come out, I'm gonna do it. He was still there,
Speaker 1: and so I went ahead and said, maybe somebody put
Speaker 1: a penny in there, and um, I don't know that
Speaker 1: he got the reference, but he did look at me,
Speaker 1: look at me like he wanted to kill me, and
Speaker 1: I felt like perfect response. I'm so bummed that that
Speaker 1: guy didn't know the door joke. How could you be
Speaker 1: a janitor at a hospital fixing the track of an
Speaker 1: electric door and not know that joke. I mean, I
Speaker 1: just feel like that should come with the job. And
Speaker 1: I did it because when I was in college, I
Speaker 1: um my teacher canceled, stopped class early and said someone
Speaker 1: had to go to a coronation, and in my head
Speaker 1: I thought I should stand up and sing the song
Speaker 1: from Frozen where she gets she gets up inside it's
Speaker 1: coronation Day, and I didn't do it. And my wife
Speaker 1: has never forgiven me for not taking that opportunity because
Speaker 1: I'll never get it again. So now every time that
Speaker 1: would have been amazing. Every time I get a chance
Speaker 1: to reference a show, whether thousand plate but I feel
Speaker 1: all all right, James, do you have another question for us? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my my best friend Ben I asked um why Doctor
Speaker 1: Acula wasn't more fleshed out because he thought it was.
Speaker 1: It was really awesome, and he would have loved to
Speaker 1: see more episodes that centered around that because you know,
Speaker 1: doctor Cox actually kind of liked it, and you know
Speaker 1: the janitor knew about it and the stuff. You know,
Speaker 1: it really is a fan favorite. James. It's something that
Speaker 1: Donald and I get asked all the time when when
Speaker 1: you guys gonna make Doctor Acula. I one day, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I had had jazz lettuce or what,
Speaker 1: but I wrote like an elaborate paragraph to Bill Lawrence
Speaker 1: about like a funny take on what a Scrubs movie
Speaker 1: would be, and it included a section on unincorporating uh, Donald,
Speaker 1: and I'm making Doctor Accula. Um, I can tell you
Speaker 1: that people really loved it. Um. So if we ever
Speaker 1: do a Scrubs movie or thing, I think we have
Speaker 1: to find a way that it's a part of it, right, Donald, Definitely,
Speaker 1: I think I truly believe that the Scrubs movie should
Speaker 1: just be Doctor Accula, where it has all of the
Speaker 1: characters from Scrubs portraying characters in Doctor Accula. Obviously, Doctor.
Speaker 1: I think that would be amazing. The question is whose
Speaker 1: Doctor Accula? Is it gonna be? Jd or is it
Speaker 1: gonna be Turkey? Right? Speaking of speaking of retro shows,
Speaker 1: James Zach Joel Daniel, have you guys watched Cobra Kai. No,
Speaker 1: that's the Karate Kids show, Daniel. I'm surprised, Daniel. You
Speaker 1: seem like a retro kind of Fellah, thank you. I
Speaker 1: was too busy playing video games. I watch Here's David
Speaker 1: is so good, you guys, if you get a chance
Speaker 1: and you want to feel nostalgia, Cobra Kai is so
Speaker 1: much fun. It's just as fun as the Karate Kid,
Speaker 1: the original Karate Kid. If you get a chance. All
Speaker 1: of the stars are in it too. Please. They're teasing
Speaker 1: that she might show up for season three. Not only
Speaker 1: did she go to my high school, but she was
Speaker 1: one of my early crushes. Like my wife looks like
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Shoe. Dude, she was everybody's crush. Well then I
Speaker 1: have a Then then I had a crush on Casey
Speaker 1: Cobb when I was a You know who else was
Speaker 1: my crush when I was a kid? You know who
Speaker 1: else was my crush? What you McCall? Its sister? Uh,
Speaker 1: the one that's married to Ryan Reynolds. Isn't Blake Lively
Speaker 1: her older sister? What did? She's an actress? Yes, one
Speaker 1: of my biggest when I was a kid. That was
Speaker 1: my one of We're that we're gonna need her name
Speaker 1: because I don't know that I know her work or
Speaker 1: Betty the Redhead. Oh boy, hold on, now she's got
Speaker 1: to go look for what she looked like when she
Speaker 1: was young. Come on, Donald, you're making you well do
Speaker 1: all the work. I don't know her name. All I
Speaker 1: knew her was all I knew. How did you know her?
Speaker 1: She was like in a bunch of things? She was
Speaker 1: she was. She was always like the guest star on things,
Speaker 1: never really to starve it, but she was my oh
Speaker 1: my god like I would have dreams about her. Three
Speaker 1: Ryan Reynolds. We're trying to get Ryan Reynolds to come
Speaker 1: on for the finale. I know people have asked for it. Um,
Speaker 1: Donald and I love him, but we not um like
Speaker 1: day to day friends with him. So if anyone's listening
Speaker 1: and knows Ryan Reynolds, tell him to come on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I have a really embarrassing Ryan and Reynolds story too.
Speaker 1: Oh God, maybe he's not gonna come on because you
Speaker 1: did something embarrassing because you're bad with celebrities. Dude, I'm
Speaker 1: so bad with celebrities. So, oh no, what did you do?
Speaker 1: Ryan Reynolds? Do you want to hear this story? James? Yes,
Speaker 1: James wants to hear it. So one night, Zach takes
Speaker 1: me out to this Hollywood, the swanky Hollywood party, right
Speaker 1: it was Jeffrey Katson Burke's party, as a matter of fact.
Speaker 1: And I remember we get there and George Clooney makes
Speaker 1: a joke like to Zach, he goes, I don't bring
Speaker 1: Noah Whalley to these parties. Why are you bringing? Why
Speaker 1: are you bringing Donald Fhames on? That's a good joke,
Speaker 1: And I was like, and I remember thinking You're like,
Speaker 1: I'm no Noah Wiley, sir, No, I love Noah while
Speaker 1: Noah Wiley is a very good actor. But I remember
Speaker 1: thinking that was kind of rude. Anyway, We're in the
Speaker 1: party and I managed to he's a great actor. I
Speaker 1: didn't mean to. I was just doing a joke. I
Speaker 1: think I remember getting so fucking drunk at this party. Boy, Like,
Speaker 1: I felt like I felt like somebody might have even
Speaker 1: slipped me something. So that's yeah, right, you fucking slipped
Speaker 1: yourself something. So that's my excuse. I think somebody was
Speaker 1: trying to get at me and trying and trying to
Speaker 1: do something. Would you do to Ryan Reynolds, This is
Speaker 1: crucial if he'll come on the show. Was talking to
Speaker 1: a bunch of people, right, He's talking to like three
Speaker 1: other people, and I come up to him. I was
Speaker 1: like Ryan, oh no, and he looks at me. He goes,
Speaker 1: oh God, Donald, and I go, Ryan, give me a hug.
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't want to hug Donald. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna give you a hug. I was like, Ryan,
Speaker 1: give me a fucking hug, and he's like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna hug you. I was like, then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take it. And I grabbed Ryan Reynolds and I start
Speaker 1: humping his leg like a dom My god, he's not
Speaker 1: coming on the fucking show. He'll never come on the show. Dude,
Speaker 1: He's not gonna come on the show. You did the
Speaker 1: thing that dogs do to people. Started humping on his
Speaker 1: leg and then I pushed him away and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm through, and I walk away. And then he looks
Speaker 1: at the people that he's talking to like, you know, sorry,
Speaker 1: oh my, And then I realized in my drunken stupor
Speaker 1: at that moment, I'm like, oh shit, I just made
Speaker 1: an ass out of myself, and I walked away and stuff.
Speaker 1: You really gotta pace yourself when you're at parties, don't.
Speaker 1: I can't help it. I get excited when I see
Speaker 1: people who I admire. Ryan, You're one of them, and
Speaker 1: also because I've known you for a really long time.
Speaker 1: All right, listen, Ryan, I don't know that you're listening,
Speaker 1: or maybe maybe you're Ryan's best friend from high school
Speaker 1: and you love the podcast. Tell him that Donald is
Speaker 1: sorry for drunkenly humping his leg at a party. I'm
Speaker 1: so apologized. I apologize, and the fans would love it
Speaker 1: if you'd come on for the season finale of season
Speaker 1: and two, which is coming upon us another season soon,
Speaker 1: Joel James, do you want to say something to get
Speaker 1: Ryan on here? James, Yeah, James, is or anything you
Speaker 1: could say that I'm imagine you're a Ryan fan. Anything
Speaker 1: you have that could maybe lure him back into the fold.
Speaker 1: I was surprised when I when I caught him doing
Speaker 1: uh I can't remember the name of the game, but
Speaker 1: it's similar to candy Crush. That's an app, just a
Speaker 1: simple game you can play. You don't have to pay
Speaker 1: for it to play it. And I thought, what's he
Speaker 1: doing doing little app commercials like this? I think feel
Speaker 1: like if he can do that, then uh, why he
Speaker 1: could do the podcast because that's way below what you
Speaker 1: guys are. It's just a little It's it's like, I
Speaker 1: can't be crush dam but they probably paid him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but see see they're probably paying him silly money. We
Speaker 1: we can't pay him silly money. We can just pay
Speaker 1: him with love you James. I don't like James. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe that would work out, James. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know this, but Ryan Reynolds just made
Speaker 1: a crap ton of money selling booze. So yes, he
Speaker 1: made a lot of money that but but but I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what we can promise you, Ryan, a signed
Speaker 1: Turk Funco Pop. Yeah, and and and if you are
Speaker 1: nostalgic and want to go back and remember that moment
Speaker 1: when I humped your leg, you could use the Turk
Speaker 1: Funcle Pop as me and just let it. Or we
Speaker 1: could buy it. We could buy a dead Pool Funco
Speaker 1: Pop and then take the Turk Funk Pop and make
Speaker 1: it hump it just saying every single one of his
Speaker 1: movies from this point forward. If oh, there you go,
Speaker 1: there you go right pretty good? Ryan thundersupplause. Dan thundersupplause.
Speaker 1: There it is. James is gonna watch every one of
Speaker 1: your movies, even bring Lancer, Ryan. James has promised to
Speaker 1: watch every movie you've ever done. And if you come
Speaker 1: on the podcast and Donald is sorry for for the
Speaker 1: leg situation, I'm sorry for hopping your leg. You didn't
Speaker 1: you didn't finish. You didn't finish, did you, Donald? No?
Speaker 1: I did well, yeah, well well I said, I said,
Speaker 1: I did say after I'm finished with you and pushed,
Speaker 1: oh this is not going well. I wish you would
Speaker 1: have told me the story, because I've been trying through
Speaker 1: back channels, through agents and publicists to no avail. And
Speaker 1: for all I know, he's going Donald phase on the
Speaker 1: guy who tried to buck my knee at a party. No,
Speaker 1: oh God, so embarrassed. All right, well, James, we're gonna
Speaker 1: segue with this theme song that Daniel's going to play
Speaker 1: to a new segment called fix Your Life. And I
Speaker 1: hope you have something where Donald and I can can
Speaker 1: fix your life because we're very good at this. It's
Speaker 1: America's favorite segment on any podcast ever. I just read
Speaker 1: that online. James, It's time to fix your lie. All right, James,
Speaker 1: what do you got for us? All right? I was
Speaker 1: trying to think of it last night because I forgot
Speaker 1: all about it until I was invented unable to sleep
Speaker 1: because I got the email, was freaking out. But I
Speaker 1: guess I'll bring up the fact that my three year
Speaker 1: old son has decided that hooping is just not for
Speaker 1: him anymore, and so he's just not gonna do it,
Speaker 1: and so it's literally every three days we have to
Speaker 1: have him on like a laxative regimen. And then the
Speaker 1: doctors have told us to give him these little baby animas,
Speaker 1: which is a very horrible experience for everyone involved. And
Speaker 1: I wondered if you guys had any advice that you
Speaker 1: could give on a better way to try and encourage him.
Speaker 1: I will say this, uh, you know, as a father
Speaker 1: who has experienced moments like this where a child has decided,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't want to pooh anymore. Uh.
Speaker 1: You gotta make it exciting, okay, and figure out a
Speaker 1: way to me make going to the bathroom not a
Speaker 1: chore but something fun. Like when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I hated to brush my teeth, and my you know,
Speaker 1: parents figured out a way to make it so that
Speaker 1: I would want to brush my teeth, and they got
Speaker 1: me an electric toothbrush and it was you know, you know,
Speaker 1: it's Darth Vader toothbrush. So now I'm brushing my teeth
Speaker 1: pretending I'm Darth Vader and stuff like that. My advice
Speaker 1: to you is to figure out a way to make
Speaker 1: going to the bathroom a game. Whether it be and
Speaker 1: I'm sure your pediatrician probably told you this. Maybe there's
Speaker 1: rewards for sticks. I used to I would do anything
Speaker 1: for stickers when I was a kid. Right, Maybe there's
Speaker 1: a reward for every time you go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: and pooh, like you get his favorite I totally, totally,
Speaker 1: I totally understand because kids get crazy like that, and
Speaker 1: all kidding aside, they do get crazy like that, and
Speaker 1: there's a moment in time when they're like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do this anymore. But if you can figure
Speaker 1: out a way to make it so that it's a
Speaker 1: game and that it's fun and that it only works
Speaker 1: when they're in the bathroom though, the only time you
Speaker 1: can play the game is when you're in the bathroom
Speaker 1: and you're sitting on the toilet, maybe things will turn around.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you that I loved stickers and if
Speaker 1: you when I was a kid, and I still love stickers,
Speaker 1: by the way, but when I was a kid, if
Speaker 1: you got if you find out whatever his favorite thing
Speaker 1: to watch is, you can probably get a sticker for
Speaker 1: that on the interwebs, and and just be like, every
Speaker 1: time you poop, you get one of these, Oh, and
Speaker 1: look at this amazing one. I know you want. You
Speaker 1: don't get it until you poop, and then you and
Speaker 1: then and you put the stickers on a chart also
Speaker 1: if it and it's crazy because nobody wants to ever
Speaker 1: be like you know, I have to bribe my kid
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom. But if it adds up
Speaker 1: to something, you know what I mean, like a certain
Speaker 1: amount of stickers equals an ice cream trip, or a
Speaker 1: certain amount of stickers equals whatever it is he likes,
Speaker 1: I think you might find a little bit of success
Speaker 1: in that. Um, take it from me. I've had plenty
Speaker 1: of children, and a few of them have had this dilemma,
Speaker 1: and so you go. So you're not alone, James Donald's
Speaker 1: many children have refused to poop over the years. And
Speaker 1: we have a new term for it that I'm not
Speaker 1: sure you were on the call for. It's also very natural,
Speaker 1: and so don't think of it as you know, this
Speaker 1: is a you know, this is a this is a
Speaker 1: problem because eventually you won't have to deal with this anymore.
Speaker 1: But we have a new we have a new term
Speaker 1: for it too, James. It's called growing a tale. So
Speaker 1: you can tell him, come on, buddy, time to grow
Speaker 1: a tale. Anyway, James, you're welcome. We just fixed your lie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're welcome. I'm gonna try those I didn't even think
Speaker 1: about him, but no, he sincerely in all honesty. That
Speaker 1: is a real that is a real thing that you
Speaker 1: can try. Make it a game, make it a make
Speaker 1: it a an experience that is fun because it's uh
Speaker 1: it can you know it's it's it's stressful to have
Speaker 1: to pooh, especially when you're a child, and he could
Speaker 1: be afraid of the toilet, he could be afraid of
Speaker 1: what comes out of the toilet. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: not a doctor in real life. I'm a fake doctor,
Speaker 1: but I'd like to have it's stressful to pooh old
Speaker 1: phase on on a mug. Well, I don't know this too.
Speaker 1: Any adult knows this. It's stressful to pooh if you
Speaker 1: don't poo, I think it's stressful to pooh. It's nice, absolutely, dude.
Speaker 1: If you don't pooh in one or two days, you're
Speaker 1: fucking stressed out, Like why am I not pooing? How
Speaker 1: come I'm not pooing? It's a stress should probably get
Speaker 1: off the pooh because there's probably some people eating a
Speaker 1: salad right now. M James, we gotta go. But thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I'm glad you finally broke Joel down
Speaker 1: and got on the show. Can I can I tell
Speaker 1: you one more thing? Before before we go, absolutely, because
Speaker 1: this is the big thing that the email that was
Speaker 1: responded to that got me on here. Um. First of all,
Speaker 1: I owe it to my wife that I even ever
Speaker 1: watched Scrubs because I didn't. Uh. I was younger when
Speaker 1: it came out, and so I didn't watch it as
Speaker 1: it came out, and she watched it when I was
Speaker 1: at work, and she showed me the guy love song
Speaker 1: one day, and so it was me and my best
Speaker 1: friend and that's what hooked me onto it. And then
Speaker 1: I've been watching it on repeat ever since. Um. But
Speaker 1: my father passed away in twenty seventeen from stomach cancer
Speaker 1: and I at that point I had seen the series
Speaker 1: through once and I'd watched it halfway through. But then
Speaker 1: when his complications got worse, I stopped watching TV and
Speaker 1: I stopped doing anything fun. I just was trying to
Speaker 1: pay attention to what was going on with him and
Speaker 1: hope it wasn't get better. And it was like around
Speaker 1: six months after he passed I started watching the show
Speaker 1: again to try and feel normal again. I was having
Speaker 1: a really bad day. When I got to the last episode,
Speaker 1: I considered the Zach watching the last Fantasy, the last
Speaker 1: episode and whatever happens after that, it's just a weird
Speaker 1: fever dream of some sort. But I was watching that
Speaker 1: and for some reason, I was I was really depressed.
Speaker 1: I couldn't get myself to just do what I had
Speaker 1: to do, you know, for my family and my kids.
Speaker 1: I just kept thinking about him, and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to to function. I didn't even I didn't even want
Speaker 1: that feeling. And for some reason, as soon as JP
Speaker 1: said it's never good to live in the past too long,
Speaker 1: it hit me a lot harder for some reason, and
Speaker 1: it actually started to break me out of it. And
Speaker 1: then when I listened to the Book of Love and
Speaker 1: watched that scene, I just thought, like my dad had
Speaker 1: told me before he passed, to live my life and
Speaker 1: to find a way to be okay with what's happening
Speaker 1: and then let him go go and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: And that was the moment I was able to do that,
Speaker 1: because it was like I've I've always been a dreamer
Speaker 1: like that, where I kind of imagine what my life
Speaker 1: will be, and so watching them scene again, um brought
Speaker 1: me back to that part of me, and I was
Speaker 1: able to pull myself out of the depression. And I
Speaker 1: owe it to that show. Because of that, especially that
Speaker 1: moment really just became so much more powerful. And ever
Speaker 1: since then, I've just kept watching it on repeat over
Speaker 1: and over again, just like getting ready for that moment again.
Speaker 1: And if it feels better every time I I see it,
Speaker 1: um like, I love it so much. I dedicated all
Speaker 1: three of my kids have a song dedicated specifically to them,
Speaker 1: and my son got the Book of Love as his
Speaker 1: song as a result. Well, James, I love you guys.
Speaker 1: You guys are great love for James. We'd love you
Speaker 1: for saying that you gave me, he gave me, he
Speaker 1: gave me full. I'm still waiting to wait yesterday morning
Speaker 1: and realize now this is real. This is real. But
Speaker 1: in all but in all seriousness, James, that means a
Speaker 1: lot to us. You know, we did this. Whenever we
Speaker 1: do anything, Donald and I, our hope is that, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, whether it's Scrubs, which we're talking about now,
Speaker 1: or any other project we do, we hope your hope
Speaker 1: is that you will somehow, um make someone laugh or
Speaker 1: move someone in some way. We could not have fathomed
Speaker 1: the the the difference that that this show would make
Speaker 1: in some people's lives, and to hear that right from you.
Speaker 1: It is very meaningful to us. Please don't think for
Speaker 1: a second that that doesn't really really make us feel good.
Speaker 1: Um Uh, it gave me full body goose bumps when
Speaker 1: you said that. So thank you from the bottom of
Speaker 1: our hearts. Thank you very much. I love you, James.
Speaker 1: I love you, brother, I love you. Stay safe and
Speaker 1: um and we'll we'll see you when we see you,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, bye, buddy than James. Oh, what
Speaker 1: a sweet guy, What a sweet guy. Wow, let's take
Speaker 1: a break. We'll be right back after these fine words.
Speaker 1: Let's segue into something a little more chipper that Elliott
Speaker 1: meets the janitor. Elliott finally meets the janitor, which is thrilling,
Speaker 1: and he pretends he's a very nice guy. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: does not want Elliott to know. Now his crush hasn't
Speaker 1: really developed yet. He develops a bit of a thing
Speaker 1: for her. I think this is the beginning of it.
Speaker 1: This is the beginning, um. And she doesn't call him
Speaker 1: janitor yet. That's so funny when she calls him janitor um.
Speaker 1: Now on Scrubs Wiki, they said there's some misinformation about
Speaker 1: miss pac man Um in this game. Um. First of all,
Speaker 1: someone claims that I think it was Kelso claims he
Speaker 1: got forty one million points. That's not possible. The top
Speaker 1: score ever on Miss pac Man was nine, nine hundred
Speaker 1: and ninety. I believe it was done by Ai Microsoft computer.
Speaker 1: And then it turns over after that, it goes back
Speaker 1: to zero after that, and then also Miss pac Man
Speaker 1: does not store initials, so you could never have known
Speaker 1: that it was doctor k M. Well it's pac Man.
Speaker 1: It's not Miss pac Man. It is Miss pac Man.
Speaker 1: Oh is it talks about? Yeah? How crazy is it
Speaker 1: that Todd wants to fuck Miss pac Man? Yeah? Rob
Speaker 1: is Todd is turned on by by anything and everything,
Speaker 1: including Miss pac Man. Yeah. The one thing that doesn't
Speaker 1: turn to Todd on is a married woman. Though he says,
Speaker 1: eat those dots, you naughty girl. That's what Rob says
Speaker 1: to That's what the Todd says. Rob does all right,
Speaker 1: Well Rob probably does too, but that's what the Todd.
Speaker 1: That is a funny bit though, when when Carl has
Speaker 1: got her engagement ring finger on, every time she puts
Speaker 1: it on, he's like just talking. He goes, he's just
Speaker 1: you know, doctor business, takes it off and he starts
Speaker 1: being totally inappropriate, totally inappropriate, and then he likes he
Speaker 1: literally she has it off and he goes boobies and
Speaker 1: she puts it on. He goes charts once again. Rob
Speaker 1: Maschio very funny. Yeah, Rob's funny in this. There's a
Speaker 1: moment at fourteen fifteen when the when the elevator Kelsel's
Speaker 1: banging on the on the elevator door in a flashback
Speaker 1: and when it opens, that's a lot of our crew.
Speaker 1: John Inwood, our cinematographer, is in there, Andy are a gaffer,
Speaker 1: Sean Or Keigrit, Paul Padrera, our first a d and
Speaker 1: Bobby forrest Or our Dolly group are like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if no one called for background performers that day,
Speaker 1: but our crew filled the elevator. That's awesome. This wasn't
Speaker 1: my first time on a golf course, but this was
Speaker 1: my first time hitting a golf ball and it doing
Speaker 1: what I wanted it to do in real life. And
Speaker 1: this isn't where the where I got bit by the bug,
Speaker 1: but I remember thinking when you and I and Josh
Speaker 1: went to play golf that one time at Bill's birthday
Speaker 1: party in the snow, which was freaking amazing. I remember
Speaker 1: thinking oh, I know how to hit a golf ball
Speaker 1: because I did it once and this was the episode
Speaker 1: that I did it, and I remember when watching this thinking, wow,
Speaker 1: that's really cool. Second, uh, why did security want to
Speaker 1: kick me off of a golf course? Like? Why am
Speaker 1: I all of a sudden a riff rap? Why did
Speaker 1: the black security guard come up to the other black purse?
Speaker 1: Was he like hold up, now, you're not supposed to
Speaker 1: be here. The black security guard rolls up to the
Speaker 1: only black guy on the course and it's like, are
Speaker 1: you supposed to be here? And then kelslo to fuck
Speaker 1: with you? He's like no, and then he tackles you,
Speaker 1: and then he tackles me. Him and his other cohort
Speaker 1: tackle me. Where was that course? Was that wits it?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That was not withs it. I don't
Speaker 1: know what course that was. That would be great if
Speaker 1: scrubs Wicky new, But you know scrubs Wiki didn't want
Speaker 1: to do it. You don't diss him. He's he's a
Speaker 1: nice guy. Judy. Judy is uh sexiest fucking this episode
Speaker 1: when she standing over dude and it's trying very sexual, yeah,
Speaker 1: trying to put the the the energy out there for
Speaker 1: him to pass out, so he'll pass out, so as
Speaker 1: NARCOLEPSI will kick in. She's very sexy in that moment
Speaker 1: and the fact that he's like, you remind me of
Speaker 1: my sister. Yeah is, and then herd thing is I'm
Speaker 1: not your sister, and then he passes out, and then
Speaker 1: she uses turks. She uses turks catchphrase. Now that's what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Um, yeah, that was funny. And then
Speaker 1: in the end it ends with the janitor claiming that
Speaker 1: the boy next to him is his son, um and
Speaker 1: that and I've embarrassed him in front of his son.
Speaker 1: We quickly quickly learned that that's not his son, it's
Speaker 1: a random child standing in the hallway. But so begins
Speaker 1: the janitor pretending to be a nice person in front
Speaker 1: of Elliott, the lie that he's he's a nice man,
Speaker 1: just so he could maybe one day and marry her.
Speaker 1: That would have been a better ending than me. You
Speaker 1: should have end up with the janitor. That would be No,
Speaker 1: that would have been oh my god. That First of all,
Speaker 1: all the fans of the show would be like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? What the fans want? Two things? They want
Speaker 1: to be They want to be, uh, they want to
Speaker 1: be surprised, but they also want what they want, you know, right,
Speaker 1: That's always the thing with the with the will there
Speaker 1: won't day thing. People are like, I don't don't do that.
Speaker 1: Everyone does that, and then they're like, why didn't you
Speaker 1: do that? Right, Yeah, I'm gonna just put it out
Speaker 1: there and it's a Star Wars reference. But that's the
Speaker 1: whole thing that happened with the last three movies. Everybody
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so sick of the traditional Star Wars?
Speaker 1: Why are we having the traditional Star Wars? And then
Speaker 1: Ryan Bryan Johnson puts out The Last Jedi and everybody's like,
Speaker 1: wait a second, man, you've gone off course. Why aren't
Speaker 1: you doing the traditional Star Wars? And then Jaj comes
Speaker 1: back and try to give everybody a traditional Star Wars
Speaker 1: type and everybody's like, oh my god, you're ruined it.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you stick to what it was? Why didn't
Speaker 1: we stick to what we established? And so just putting
Speaker 1: it out there, it's hard to please everybody. Donald, it
Speaker 1: is impossible to please everyone. If you're out there listening,
Speaker 1: just know something, it's very hard to please everyone. Dan
Speaker 1: all right, everybody, I think that's the show. The answer
Speaker 1: to your trivia about Blake Lively. Sister is Robin Lively. Uh, Donald,
Speaker 1: that's a woman. You had a crush. I had the
Speaker 1: biggest crush on Robin Lively. Oh, Robin, God if Robin,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, could you ask your brother in law
Speaker 1: to please forgive Donald's Yeah, forgive me, come on his
Speaker 1: leg if anything. Look your husband, Robin. He and I
Speaker 1: were we did Clueless, the television show together back in
Speaker 1: the day. I believe he played a foreign exchange student.
Speaker 1: It would be great to reconnect with him. And way
Speaker 1: that could happen is if Ryan does the podcast. So
Speaker 1: we'll plug his gin. Well, not that he needs our
Speaker 1: help because he sold it for a billion dollars, but
Speaker 1: we'll still plug it. We'll plug it, we'll we'll talk
Speaker 1: about it. Ye'll talk about it on the show. Don't
Speaker 1: say it yet, don't see it until get right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's got a All right, guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening. As always, don't forget to subscribe. Follow Daniel
Speaker 1: and Joel on the socials. Please follow Donald. He really
Speaker 1: really needs the self esteem. But listen, there's been a low.
Speaker 1: There's been like, uh, there's been a a a a
Speaker 1: it's going a little bit too slow right now. I
Speaker 1: need everybody to pick up the pace. Let's pick up
Speaker 1: the pace and follow friends, follow me, Tell your friends
Speaker 1: you know who needs help. On Instagram, Donald Fazon, his
Speaker 1: numbers aren't where they should be. From Sunny California, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. On that note, from Sunny California and from
Speaker 1: Rainy as a bob six seven eight stories about shore
Speaker 1: we made about a bunch of docs and nurses and
Speaker 1: a Chanda who loved him. I said, here's the stories.
Speaker 1: Never you all should go, so gather around you. Here
Speaker 1: are gather around you. Here are sc free Why shore
Speaker 1: winds at the time? No, mm hmmmm.