Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy, this COVID nineteen
Speaker 1: one edition, and your host Cold Stratton in for Kevin
Speaker 1: poll Quick, but you've a snowed in someplace. Let's meet
Speaker 1: our alchemist Shelley. In no particular order other than the
Speaker 1: order that I reversed. It's Joey Greer. Hey, Joey uh
Speaker 1: you ever dest with the devil of Calvin Light? I have? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have? How is he? I'll tell you what he
Speaker 1: does not like to be led? I will say that
Speaker 1: right now. It was a confrontational dance confrontation. What's the
Speaker 1: what's that? Uh fiddle capad Georgia. Yes, it was with
Speaker 1: the first Soul to steel. He was in the Bui
Speaker 1: because he was way behind. He was willing to make
Speaker 1: a deal. They jumped up on a hickory stuff. We said, boy,
Speaker 1: it's James En. Everybody, James uh he. What's one skill
Speaker 1: you wish you had? Just something you've never been able
Speaker 1: to get a hangout, but you really wish you could do.
Speaker 1: I wish I could sit in front of a Mac
Speaker 1: computer and have the same skills I have in front
Speaker 1: of a PC. And that carries on also over to
Speaker 1: iPhones like I can't. There's no buttons on an iPhone,
Speaker 1: but I can't use it. I don't know if they
Speaker 1: have telekinetic powers that they're using it. It's frustrating. It
Speaker 1: would change my life if I could use a Mac.
Speaker 1: They have tutorials and things. It's not I'm too old
Speaker 1: to learn a new trick. Cole all right, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, it's Chris Alvarado. Hey Chris. If you can
Speaker 1: win an award in any field, any sort of reward award,
Speaker 1: what would you want? Best actor of all time at
Speaker 1: the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Swords. That's funny because it hurts,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Laughed at me. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the means you can get signed better than anybody ever.
Speaker 1: I have been. I have been signed by official Nickelodeon Sligne.
Speaker 1: That is a true Let you know, that's a good
Speaker 1: X dude. You and uh, last, but surely not least,
Speaker 1: Craig Kiki Kowski. Craig, if you could learn a fighting
Speaker 1: or self defense style and be like super good at it,
Speaker 1: what would it be? Oh krofmgaw. Oh yeah, krav magaw.
Speaker 1: And I don't even know what it is really, but
Speaker 1: it's I mean it's fun to say, and it'd be
Speaker 1: fun to say that I'm good at it. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: is it pronounced mega o? No? Not that one there
Speaker 1: really thought about this one, reluctant black belt. All right,
Speaker 1: let's do a damn show. All of our scene suggestions
Speaker 1: are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our Patreon va
Speaker 1: p s. To become a Patreon supporter of the show
Speaker 1: and enjoy exclusive content and other perks, just head on
Speaker 1: over to Patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd
Speaker 1: like to submit a scene suggestion via email, please write
Speaker 1: to the podcast at your name here at alchemy this
Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at seen. One comes
Speaker 1: from Patreon v I P. Crispy L, who wrote, Hi, Kevin,
Speaker 1: I know you don't need or want me to make
Speaker 1: more suggestions right now, but bite me, pretentious L. A
Speaker 1: farmer's market does christy scene suggestion workshops chairs all, Crispy?
Speaker 1: All right? So this is organic, honey. It's only from
Speaker 1: the most organic piece available, so like it's everything of
Speaker 1: the rusty. It's really crusty, honey, you know it's organic.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of that store bust stuff has
Speaker 1: like pesticized and perservatives in there that make it all
Speaker 1: smooth and taste better. But this stuff right here is
Speaker 1: organic a hundred percent from only the motion. But I
Speaker 1: want to be able to spread this out on a
Speaker 1: peanut butter and honey sandwich. And this is like it's
Speaker 1: gonna problem, no problem. So you just let this ship
Speaker 1: out in the bathtub with boiling water borth about six.
Speaker 1: That should just melt immediately. It's like super easy. I
Speaker 1: don't think you know what the word immediately means, sir,
Speaker 1: that's not immediately. Well, to be fairer, like in the
Speaker 1: scope of like Earth and time seven hundred billion years,
Speaker 1: and while we're here, I don't think a couple of
Speaker 1: hours is that long. Alright, I'll have one. What's the
Speaker 1: units of cell that you have? Well, right here, I
Speaker 1: got a pint? We do six quarts? Or I could
Speaker 1: do I do one? I did just just bucket that
Speaker 1: my girlfriend made. Do I get a bulk discount or yeah,
Speaker 1: totally okay, I'll have Okay, so I'll get a well,
Speaker 1: I'll get a I coulda oh gosh, I coulda what's
Speaker 1: the thing in between the bucket and the point uh
Speaker 1: six courts or something? I forgot get the six courts,
Speaker 1: and the crystals aren't in cell today. If you buy one,
Speaker 1: you get too free, and that's pretty rare, pretty rare,
Speaker 1: uh selle I'm doing today. Um, I do have to
Speaker 1: let you know. It's because I have stopped believing in
Speaker 1: the crystals. So so is it a bogged No, not
Speaker 1: not bogged. They've all been suncharged. I'm sorry, I said, bugged.
Speaker 1: That's buy one, get to that's the thing. Well you know,
Speaker 1: bogo right by one, get one? No, Um, hold on,
Speaker 1: this is I know, no need to appalled. You're teaching
Speaker 1: me things. I'm teaching you things. I think this is
Speaker 1: pretty special. Bog bugged. You're saying you've lost faith in
Speaker 1: the crystals. Yes, yes, I don't believe they worked, but
Speaker 1: they have been sun charged and moon charged. Um so
Speaker 1: they are as far as levels go, they're up there. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you don't believe that that does anything. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a long story, but the short of it is,
Speaker 1: manifestation is a joke. And no matter how much you
Speaker 1: believe and how much you want, some things just don't
Speaker 1: come to you. And that feels like bullshit. So I'm done.
Speaker 1: I have to say, you have the nicest, most elaborate
Speaker 1: tint of any vendor here. Thank you, thank you. Um.
Speaker 1: The silk is from a far away land. Um. I
Speaker 1: also don't believe in that land anymore, nor do I
Speaker 1: believe in the silk. So that's if you want this.
Speaker 1: This is boxed as well. Hey, Gale, any sales today
Speaker 1: you move in those crystals? No, Teresa, not not yet.
Speaker 1: But I'm I'm in the middle of a cell right now.
Speaker 1: Are you offering a box or a box? What's the bugs?
Speaker 1: By one? Get four? No? I didn't offer the box.
Speaker 1: If you're doing oh yeah, I am. I I do
Speaker 1: the wind chimes next door. They're made out of recycled
Speaker 1: tin cans and they can find water. Okay, so is
Speaker 1: it by one set of wind chimes? I get four
Speaker 1: sets of witches? Right? That's right. It's the sets, not
Speaker 1: the individual chimes. That would be kind of a shyster move. No,
Speaker 1: it's that you can go get them. They're they're all there.
Speaker 1: That might be more wind chimes than I need. Do
Speaker 1: you have you have the wind chimes? Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: gotta take four. I don't want four wind chimes. Four
Speaker 1: sets of wind chimps um I'm with the I'm with
Speaker 1: the Farmer's Market Association, and we've noticed that your cherry
Speaker 1: tomatoes glow and i'd like to see a certification of
Speaker 1: organic broke so I don't see any I'm looking around
Speaker 1: at your table and it looks like you get an
Speaker 1: allergic reaction on your tongue or look flame. You don't
Speaker 1: make fun of me. Okay, I have here tomatoes, that's what.
Speaker 1: Just have one of these tomatoes you, honestly, it'll just
Speaker 1: that guy. He's disgusting you stop it. This is this
Speaker 1: is just a normal tongue. Okay, it's my mouth that's small,
Speaker 1: and I've got a normal tongue with a small mouth.
Speaker 1: I want to see your organic certification here because these
Speaker 1: cherry tomatoes are glowing. There we go all right here
Speaker 1: now too. For the record, these are organic cherry tomatoes.
Speaker 1: But I have led lights inside. Oh well, that's that's
Speaker 1: actually that it's a violation that the rules that once
Speaker 1: you put light inside of it is if no longer organic.
Speaker 1: You're telling what you're talking about? You what do you mean?
Speaker 1: You can't shut me down? This is my business. That's
Speaker 1: sound like productive license? There? Do you think that led
Speaker 1: lights are organic. The guy's mouth looks gross. You shut up,
Speaker 1: you shut up? What's it's the same guy? Just keep
Speaker 1: doing the circles around the tent. Look, I can't shut
Speaker 1: this tent down. This is this is my this is
Speaker 1: my livelihood. Please I can shut this tent down. I'll
Speaker 1: shut it down right now. I got that kind of power.
Speaker 1: What do you about, my tongue? What do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you need? Uh? Well, I want to. I
Speaker 1: want to. I want a hundred dollar bill right now,
Speaker 1: just right now, and I'll walk away. Give me a
Speaker 1: hundred dollar bill right now, and I would walk away. Okay, okay, okay, here, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: roll it up and put it while I'm priced to
Speaker 1: see Montsanto has a tent here? What's um? What's the deal?
Speaker 1: These are all genetically modified orgasm organisms. So I energetically
Speaker 1: modified orgasm last night and I'm still thinking about it. Nice? Nice, Um.
Speaker 1: So you're just saying fuck you to the whole thing,
Speaker 1: and you're just coming out and say, yeah, these had
Speaker 1: been modified. Yeah, yeah, and tons of pesticide on all
Speaker 1: these tomatoes. But look at the size on them. That's huge.
Speaker 1: That's huge. Man, Bite into this, Yeah, that's five bucks
Speaker 1: with tomato. You just date. Oh my wait, hold on,
Speaker 1: I'm having a genetically modified orgasm. Oh fuck, that's amazing. Right,
Speaker 1: is this what chemicals do? Yeah? They make everything taste better.
Speaker 1: Five books, five bucks? That's that's all you're asking for? This? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You on our app? God damn it. When I find
Speaker 1: a spot, i'll park. Okay, when you just stopped, now,
Speaker 1: give me jesus, both of you stop. Okay, I know
Speaker 1: I need to find a spot. Okay, I'm looking for one.
Speaker 1: I said we should get up at five am. Did
Speaker 1: I say that? Didn't I say this, get five am
Speaker 1: to get over there. But you want to stay in
Speaker 1: and sleep in because it's a Sunday. It is a Sunday.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. But also, Heathcliff had to have his Captain crunch. Okay,
Speaker 1: God damn it. Well that crap you're giving him? You know,
Speaker 1: when we can. The reason we go to Farmers Markets
Speaker 1: because it's the only place in l A. We're able
Speaker 1: to get organic produced and other goods made by real
Speaker 1: people who care about us, right, who care about what
Speaker 1: we do and eat. All right, that's enough. I've had it.
Speaker 1: I have had it, rich, I have I'm gone I'm
Speaker 1: taking Heathcliff and I'm going you know you gonna you've
Speaker 1: been talking, We're gonna talk a roll out right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: you brought this on yourself. And by the way, I've
Speaker 1: been sleeping with your brother. He has genetically modified orgasms
Speaker 1: and they are I've been sleeping with my brother too.
Speaker 1: Hey what's up, dude? What are you? What are you
Speaker 1: doing here? It's late? Look, man, I knew a place
Speaker 1: to crash. Dude, that happened one time. Okay, that happened
Speaker 1: one time. No, man, don't no, Look man, look I
Speaker 1: I broke up with um with moonfly. Oh, I see
Speaker 1: you can't double you can't double park out here. I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm gonna move in a second. I think you
Speaker 1: gotta move, man. I think there's like there's tons of
Speaker 1: spots on the street. Okay, okay, okay, okay, look, I
Speaker 1: gotta move my car. Probably probably don't come back to
Speaker 1: you because I feel I'm still done over. You know
Speaker 1: what us? Oh dude, you know what? Man? This is
Speaker 1: a bs You guys a couple. You look exactly alike. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're brothers, brothers. Jesus, Wait, what do you what is that?
Speaker 1: Why does that freak you out, sir. Look, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find a spot. I'll text you when I find a spot.
Speaker 1: Probably just go, probably, just go. Probably don't stop, Mr
Speaker 1: man Santo, Mr Man Santo, Um coming from there? You are,
Speaker 1: you're like two ft tall. I'm not two ft tall. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's no way, and there's no way I'm two ft tall.
Speaker 1: Mr Montanto, you haven't really been honoring the agreement that
Speaker 1: we had when you first set up. Shut up. See,
Speaker 1: let me just fold up this little chair. Here, there
Speaker 1: we go. That's it's a big tongue, but it's the
Speaker 1: normal thigh. I'm gonna brun this operating for you. You're
Speaker 1: not gonna be allowed at the farmer's market anymore. All right,
Speaker 1: call me Clyde, right, Clyde, Clyde. You're behind on the
Speaker 1: money that you're supposed to give me. I'm a pretty
Speaker 1: big deal here at the farmer's market, all right. What
Speaker 1: what is mon Santo? Oh you well, it seems like
Speaker 1: this is the third week that you should have given
Speaker 1: me a hundred dollar bill, and so I'd say three hundred.
Speaker 1: But that's being nice because some people would give interest
Speaker 1: or threaten someone. Maybe I would bring somebody to break
Speaker 1: your kneecaps. All right, all right, let me take out
Speaker 1: my wad. What was it? Three hundred two d three hundred?
Speaker 1: Don't throw it on the floor. Everybody think you're dwarfed
Speaker 1: by those bills? Excuse me? Are you? Are you giving
Speaker 1: away cash? Hey? This time here is giving away cash?
Speaker 1: How much for the hundred? Uh? I'll do a hundred
Speaker 1: for for two hundred? Great? Hell yeah? How much doing
Speaker 1: a hundred dollar bills? For two hundred bucks? I have
Speaker 1: a five hundred. I can make change, all right? Said?
Speaker 1: Hell yeah? Can I get an hour lick one of
Speaker 1: these tomatoes while you're here? Now, it's going to my
Speaker 1: attention that you've been going around the farmers marketing storting
Speaker 1: other vendors. Is that, Craig? I'm what I'm doing is
Speaker 1: I'm making it so list be honest. Some of the
Speaker 1: organic stuff is really boring. And when you bring in
Speaker 1: some pizzas, we're getting a lot of people coming in.
Speaker 1: It's helping the organic community. Where did you go? I
Speaker 1: just saw you? And now where are you? I'm right here,
Speaker 1: right here, dad? Dad? Can I go play? Let me
Speaker 1: out of your pocket? No, no, no, you stay in
Speaker 1: the pocket because I can't be I can't trust you
Speaker 1: to run around out here. Okay, stay there. Do you
Speaker 1: have a kid in your pocket? I have a child
Speaker 1: in my pocket. But my mistake is there someone in
Speaker 1: your some sort of a kangaroo. It's a child. I'm
Speaker 1: a human being. Okay, man, man, I just saw you
Speaker 1: and your child roll out of that car. Are you okay? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm all right. I'm okay, Heathcliff, you all right? I
Speaker 1: still have to go to the bathroom. You should have
Speaker 1: gone on the roll. I just uh, can I help
Speaker 1: you with anything? Or you both seem to be fine?
Speaker 1: You rolled well? Thank you? That mean's a lot. What
Speaker 1: are you single? Or that's a crazy question to ask. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm also a stuntman. Wow. Any any notable productions you've
Speaker 1: worked on that I from? Yeah? Yeah, let's see. I
Speaker 1: have the television and film What do you watch? More
Speaker 1: movies or TV? I watched them both, but mostly movies,
Speaker 1: mostly movies, mostly movies. Okay, I'm getting credits. Give me
Speaker 1: one second. Um. I ever heard of the movie called
Speaker 1: Point Break? Yes, I love I wasn't. I wasn't in
Speaker 1: Point Break, but my buddy was in Point Break. He
Speaker 1: got me a gig right, a non union gig right. Basically,
Speaker 1: I punched a bunch of liminum cans as hard as
Speaker 1: I could for a commercial, a non union spot for
Speaker 1: about recycling. That's great. I hope to see that one day.
Speaker 1: Im sorry, I missed it. No, I have a VHS
Speaker 1: copy at my place if you oh, let's go there
Speaker 1: right now. But about the kid, the hell? Man, you
Speaker 1: said you're gonna be at the Informer's organ all day.
Speaker 1: This is my time. Man, It's just I got a guest. Man,
Speaker 1: I got a guess. Man, I got sucking hard drugs
Speaker 1: out on the table. Man, they're a cop. They're gonna
Speaker 1: fucking get me. Willie, Willie, Willie, Willie, look at me
Speaker 1: and look at me. Hey, hey, remember when I was
Speaker 1: talking about manifestation. Yeah, man, you said I can manifest
Speaker 1: and thinking my body to punch out of it. Man,
Speaker 1: freaked me out. Man, I was spiraling. Man, it was true.
Speaker 1: I've manifested this woman here. She came rolling out of
Speaker 1: a car right in front of me. You're a fucking warlock, man,
Speaker 1: I've said it since the day I missed you. Man,
Speaker 1: you got powers, came get out of here here. What
Speaker 1: was you gonna get moonfly, Moonfly. Yeah. I don't know
Speaker 1: what they were thinking, but moonfly. So okay, let's see here,
Speaker 1: looking for a feet just here, got a lot of
Speaker 1: copies of stuff around here. Can't you do puzzles at
Speaker 1: the puzzle? Alright? Every coat? Here? We got pancakes? You hungry?
Speaker 1: All right? There we go? Oh here it is, Oh grant,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see this. Have a seat right
Speaker 1: there on the floor. You can just move the stuff around. Great.
Speaker 1: Recycling is an important issue, one that affects every Angelina.
Speaker 1: Recycling can help save up to seven up it could.
Speaker 1: Recycling is one yeah, yeah, yeah, So that was me
Speaker 1: punching all the cans. You can tell that's really impressive.
Speaker 1: Have you taking natural up there? I'm sorry, boss, it's
Speaker 1: a non union spot. I got a non union stunt guy,
Speaker 1: a non union voiceover guy. That's as good as you're
Speaker 1: gonna get. This is why people hate recycling. Bill. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we we only could do one take on
Speaker 1: each and they both made terrible mistakes. But you know
Speaker 1: we should never have shot this on sixteen and giving
Speaker 1: you one reel. Well, I'm just trying to build credits.
Speaker 1: I'm non union myself. All right, well we'll have to
Speaker 1: roll with it. Then it's only gonna air three times,
Speaker 1: so we might as well get it out there. Okay,
Speaker 1: and it's on VHS and vinyl. I'm a sousa who
Speaker 1: wants to get rubbed down. Come on, Hi, Hi, Thomas.
Speaker 1: Oh we got one. Look at me, Look at me.
Speaker 1: I'm throwing a little line there, ye really yeah? Go
Speaker 1: on going on? What do you want? What do you want?
Speaker 1: Your neck? Your eyes? What's going on? Um? I kind
Speaker 1: of want the works. Um. I used to work at
Speaker 1: that tent right over there selling crystals. I don't believe anymore.
Speaker 1: So I was thinking, this is my last time here
Speaker 1: I've been. I've seen you week after week, and you
Speaker 1: perform magic with those fingers. I want the works, all right?
Speaker 1: All right, well, you know, since you're a vendor, you
Speaker 1: get you got it, you got it? So what just
Speaker 1: laid down face down here on this slab right here?
Speaker 1: Can I lay face up, face up? That option? Oh
Speaker 1: for sure? Yeah, if you want to live face let
Speaker 1: me just actually get another bench in here, because the
Speaker 1: one I got a little face hole poked out, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So let me just get this
Speaker 1: little table out here. You get my wife and I
Speaker 1: massage last week and she's blind. Now you back up,
Speaker 1: you knew what she signed up for? Okay? Do you
Speaker 1: know what she signed up for? Okay? Did she signed
Speaker 1: it a disclaimer? She signed up verbally and in the
Speaker 1: state of last Angels, that's a legal binding contract. Did
Speaker 1: you say what I'm saying? What kind of monster sticks
Speaker 1: his fingers into somebody's eyes and needs them? Who knows who?
Speaker 1: Crystal guy? You you sold me five crystals for the
Speaker 1: price of one last week a buck? Yeah? Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's that f and Bog sends for fuck you because
Speaker 1: those crystals don't work, okay, and that's our spot for
Speaker 1: the farmer's market costs. We only had one take. It's
Speaker 1: pretty bad. Um Should I just air it one time?
Speaker 1: What the hell is that? That beast story with the
Speaker 1: two brothers? Okay? And that's our first that see really
Speaker 1: literally headed off? Alright. See it's from newly minted Patriot.
Speaker 1: I'll come eACT Mylorasco show here right here, I'll start
Speaker 1: all right, see too? Why did they hear the from
Speaker 1: our really minted patreon Alchemedia Mike Dorrasco wrote this one's
Speaker 1: for Kevin. Okay, Okay, let's try this again. How about
Speaker 1: an Elvis impersonator mistakenly books a gig at an Elvish convention.
Speaker 1: Hope it makes the cut. Get my best to the gang.
Speaker 1: Keep on making that funny m hm. And I'd like
Speaker 1: to see your badge. If you've got a badge for
Speaker 1: the expo, now is the time to show it. And
Speaker 1: you shall pass the gates into the convention. He man,
Speaker 1: I don't got a bad man, oh I um, so
Speaker 1: you'll need to sign up for the convention on the
Speaker 1: app And man, excuse me, isn't my hips enough to
Speaker 1: give me? You're not dressed appropriately for the convention. This
Speaker 1: is the Sherwood Elvish Convention of two thousand twenty one.
Speaker 1: Not dressed appropriately? Did you want the sixty eight comeback
Speaker 1: special or early? M oh, let me keep my let
Speaker 1: me keep my senior ELF manager l Ron l Ron. Um,
Speaker 1: Maybe I have to deal with this myself, l Ron
Speaker 1: l Ron Harbor. Matt is he here? That's not funny?
Speaker 1: So okay, you know what? I love those books? Yes,
Speaker 1: who calls for Elron el Ron? This this gentleman here
Speaker 1: doesn't have He has neither the outfit, nor the ears,
Speaker 1: nor all the Elvish accent. Honestly, he doesn't even have
Speaker 1: a badge for the convention. He does appear darker than
Speaker 1: a normal elf. What what type of health be Ye?
Speaker 1: I'll be the entertainment comment, you know, I'll go out
Speaker 1: there and entertain everybody. You know what I'm saying, entertainment? Well,
Speaker 1: could this be our entertainer for the day. This can't
Speaker 1: be out ron well, man, they told me to come here. Man,
Speaker 1: I can go check with my book at agent man,
Speaker 1: but this is where I was supposed to go. You know,
Speaker 1: do do ye sing? Do ye dance? Do I sing?
Speaker 1: Do a dance? Man? That's all I do? Many want?
Speaker 1: You want all a little taste? Sure? Sure, well your
Speaker 1: name is l Ron right, I'll work it into the thing. Man,
Speaker 1: Are you l wrong tonight? Is this a convention tonight? Yes?
Speaker 1: It is. Yeah. I'm stuck on the flour. You away
Speaker 1: right now? Okay, my engine just blew out. I gotta truck.
Speaker 1: Foolish goddamn l freaks, and they're they're supposed to got
Speaker 1: they got a gig. They gotta play at a thing.
Speaker 1: So I need a toe truck now, all right, I
Speaker 1: need one, Now you understand. Look that's not how it works. Buster.
Speaker 1: You don't just call us and demand something. Okay. If
Speaker 1: we got an available truck, we send you in an
Speaker 1: available truck. But if there's no trucks available, it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter how much you scream. Also, it's illegal to be
Speaker 1: carting human beings in the back of a truck like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're putting human trafficking. I'm a human said the word,
Speaker 1: you said the words? Okay, I'm a bust driver, man,
Speaker 1: all right, A right, run a private company, okay, I
Speaker 1: run my own company. Okay, okay, what's okay, what's the
Speaker 1: name of the company. Roy's Trucking. We move people across
Speaker 1: any state line Roy's Trucking, and that's your slogan. Yeah, okay, alright, okay, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: no problems, no problems here, Okay here man, I got people. Okay, alright.
Speaker 1: How important is this? It's important to them and they're
Speaker 1: freaking out. They gotta play the stupid convention or something
Speaker 1: like that. Don't the hell it is? Where are you at?
Speaker 1: What freeway? I can't really tell it all the sides.
Speaker 1: Just gotta mostle over. Okay, what's uh? What's weird? Turned down?
Speaker 1: This like Wooden Road. I wanted to this deep deep
Speaker 1: forest forest. Yeah yeah, I mean the trees are like
Speaker 1: hundreds of feet high. You feel like you're small, right,
Speaker 1: teeny tiny man, I'm telling you right now, hey roight, yeah,
Speaker 1: your life has just changed. Be threatening me. You're in Sherwood.
Speaker 1: I gotta go. But hello, what god damn it? Uh?
Speaker 1: Listen up for musicians? Excuse me? How much longer till
Speaker 1: we get to the convention? A little longer, a little longer.
Speaker 1: There's a weird now, yeah about all we all mouth
Speaker 1: like that? Alright, calm down, alright, Lvi's listen. And we
Speaker 1: had a toad truck coming. But for the time being,
Speaker 1: I think we should all just scatter and our own
Speaker 1: thing until the toad truck comes. This terrible idea, what
Speaker 1: friend you need? You seem to be out of place
Speaker 1: here and show it. For the hell is this guy doing?
Speaker 1: Robin Hood? Okay, I get some amazement park or something
Speaker 1: like that. I see you. Yeah, like, I don't know, buddy,
Speaker 1: do I looking amusing? My blush just broke down, all right?
Speaker 1: Be you with the sheriff of notting him? No, I
Speaker 1: don't don't deal with the law. I got a lot
Speaker 1: of felonies on my ass. We got a lot of
Speaker 1: priors me too, robbin these poor people, don't these elves man,
Speaker 1: you took them from the bus. Now we're giving them
Speaker 1: out to four people. Look, there were no coins or
Speaker 1: uh anything. That's all I have of value is this.
Speaker 1: But I did rob from the rich and give to
Speaker 1: the poor these elves. Yeah, I'm sorry interrupt, but what
Speaker 1: that was up with these tights? Huh? And I feel
Speaker 1: like I wanted like a burlap sack with that was
Speaker 1: my jeans and my button down. Well, little John, you
Speaker 1: you've put on a lot of weight in the last year.
Speaker 1: Your tights are not always going to fit. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll just give me my jeans. All right, that's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Can you can you call me Roy? What's
Speaker 1: up with this little John ship? Your little John? Now? Okay?
Speaker 1: We don't we wear tights. I don't like when people
Speaker 1: call me little you understand, looks it's an ironic name.
Speaker 1: You're the largest man here, damn right, I am your
Speaker 1: damn right, I am all right now. Look I'm gonna
Speaker 1: eat the rush of that turkey leg wherever the hell
Speaker 1: that is. Okay, And I don't want to. No one
Speaker 1: bothered me until we go for my nap. Okay, okay, now,
Speaker 1: this is uh Jerry O'Connell Live with CBS two Action
Speaker 1: for you news. You've fallen far Jerry O'Connell. What do
Speaker 1: you mean you don't You don't gotta tell me what
Speaker 1: the actor Jerry O'Connell was in. I know all of
Speaker 1: his movies, but I am at the high i'm doing.
Speaker 1: You're not j connell the actor. No, Jerry O'Connell, the newscaster,
Speaker 1: the actor. You're okay, I'm live. Sorry, I'm on the
Speaker 1: air right now. I'm terribly sorry. No, actually, stick around,
Speaker 1: stick around? No you are you aware that people call
Speaker 1: this area the Bermuda Triangle of the woods. Yeah, you are, okay,
Speaker 1: because it seems that cars, people, and most recently an
Speaker 1: entire bus of people have gone missing from around this area.
Speaker 1: Are you familiar with that? Anyone to see Jerry O'Connell.
Speaker 1: He went on an assignment and no one could find him.
Speaker 1: Jerry Odal the actor. No, Jerry O'Connell is just one end.
Speaker 1: He's our news reporters that you know. We decided to
Speaker 1: cover the convention and that was two weeks ago. Alright,
Speaker 1: the Elvish convention. That was a big deal. I wonder
Speaker 1: why we didn't have a story on that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's weird, man. It's like he there's that one point
Speaker 1: off Highway thirty five where it's just a lot of
Speaker 1: things go missing. Yeah, I find only vhs is. Do
Speaker 1: you want me to toss him? No? No, no, keep those.
Speaker 1: Keep those are gonna be worth something one day. Okay.
Speaker 1: Do you want me to digitize him? Um? No, just
Speaker 1: keep them, put him in the box, right time capsule
Speaker 1: on it, and bury it in the back yard. Just
Speaker 1: just cardboard box. Yep, just that one for some duct
Speaker 1: tape on it, right time capsule. Right. I love a project. Thanks,
Speaker 1: you're welcome. Wait, but what was on the tapes? She's gone,
Speaker 1: She's good. We'll never know. We well know twenty five
Speaker 1: years when I guess we will. Yeah, when I told
Speaker 1: them taking up so l Ron and the Twinkleberry, whatever
Speaker 1: the hell your name is listening? It is? Okay? Great? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Look I'm going over the budgets right here, and y'all
Speaker 1: didn't sell enough tickets, so I might have to shut
Speaker 1: this down. Wron, This can't be true. Did we had
Speaker 1: to sell enough tickets to cover the prices. Do not
Speaker 1: traffic in the currency of man? All right, Well, you're
Speaker 1: in man's world, so we do. Okay. Oh maybe if
Speaker 1: I had a couple, Maybe if I had a hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: Let this hundred dollars, hundred dollars. Mm hmmm, do it? Hey, man,
Speaker 1: you're saying you can't pay me. Man, you guys don't
Speaker 1: have the money. What was it? Your elves do not
Speaker 1: traffic in the currency of man? All right, what are
Speaker 1: you trafficking? Then it does? Does? That's how health thing
Speaker 1: man does. What everyone is trying to say is when
Speaker 1: we originally booked the Elvish group, we would have pulled
Speaker 1: in all of the people we needed it. And your
Speaker 1: substitution just was no substitute for the original gig. I
Speaker 1: had to take three trains to get here, man, I mean,
Speaker 1: come on, I got some costs I gotta recoup. I mean,
Speaker 1: you clearly have aged elvestone age. You're an old have
Speaker 1: you set? I don't know how to say this. You're
Speaker 1: not an elf. We know you're not an elf. Well, man,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna pay me, and you're gonna stop me.
Speaker 1: Funked up man, I'm just trying to let you know
Speaker 1: why we don't have the money to pay you is
Speaker 1: you have failed our convention. I failed it, man. Those
Speaker 1: fourteen people here man, and that's not me. It's not
Speaker 1: a good turnout. That's that's true. It's a bad turnout.
Speaker 1: But but I think that it's because they knew that
Speaker 1: there was not an Elvish band playing. And I don't
Speaker 1: know what the hell you're supposed to be but three
Speaker 1: and a half hours up there, and every time I
Speaker 1: tried to set you kept saying keep going. You did
Speaker 1: the pool thing like like, you know, keep going? What
Speaker 1: was that? Men? I ran out of songs, Run Berry Star,
Speaker 1: twinkled Berry Berry. It's come true. It's come true. We
Speaker 1: have we have confirmation of a land very close to
Speaker 1: here that is all for us, all for us, an
Speaker 1: invisible land. It's just right off. Please tell me more.
Speaker 1: That's all that got. I've got a lift waiting, it's
Speaker 1: it's running. We can jump in now and go to
Speaker 1: this land and live the way we were supposed to
Speaker 1: live live forever. Okay, we'll table these negotiations for now
Speaker 1: and we're going to explore this magical land. Off oft five.
Speaker 1: You can come, sir, would you like to join us?
Speaker 1: I got no money in it. Wait, wait, wait, we
Speaker 1: can't take him. He's not an elf. Look at him.
Speaker 1: He's he's a fat man that has a poorly dressed sequence.
Speaker 1: Actually they're not that bad, but it's definitely not elvish clothes.
Speaker 1: Why are you doing this, Tom, You're not don't you
Speaker 1: work at don't you say name long ago? Look at him?
Speaker 1: Look at us. Okay, I'm hopping in this lift. Join
Speaker 1: me if you want, Tom. I told you if this
Speaker 1: convention was a super success, I'd say great, whatever and
Speaker 1: we keep moving forward. But I'm sorry. You've invested two
Speaker 1: years of your life into this and it didn't work out.
Speaker 1: You have to realize that you have to drop the
Speaker 1: accent and stop wearing those clothes around the house, Jennifer.
Speaker 1: First year is to establish it. The second year it's
Speaker 1: wood of mouth. Jennifer, Tom, you're from Minnesota. You don't
Speaker 1: talk like this. I'm from the North. I'm the North Helf,
Speaker 1: all right, And if you're not careful, you won't be
Speaker 1: able to come. We're going off the wooden Road on
Speaker 1: to the land of elves. This is the Internet's fault.
Speaker 1: This is crazy you weren't, like, since you're a software engineer, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what you do software software. Hey, yeah, there's something
Speaker 1: going wrong on my desktop. The software keeps crashing. So
Speaker 1: I'm just calling this number to get some help. You
Speaker 1: know what could be up? It's it's meat, Tom Okay, great, Tom? Um,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with it? I'm sorry, it's just spent a
Speaker 1: long time since I Okay, So you're having some software problems. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it keeps crashing my computer. Okay. Have you
Speaker 1: tried powering down your computer? Yeah? I did that first
Speaker 1: of all. I mean, I look, this is a this
Speaker 1: is a Max. I don't know how to work at Mac.
Speaker 1: I only know how to use PCs. If I only
Speaker 1: knew how to work a Max would be amazing, But
Speaker 1: I don't. I can't even work my phone. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I don't have an Android. I have an iPhone.
Speaker 1: I can't make it make calls. How do what do
Speaker 1: we do? Okay? Well, if you've got a Mac, what
Speaker 1: I would suggest you do is you plug in a
Speaker 1: USB device to the bottom part so you have a
Speaker 1: keyword because that one button doesn't work for these issues. Um,
Speaker 1: everybody who has made it tea into the Sherwood Forest.
Speaker 1: Gather around, gather around. Now some of you are three
Speaker 1: people welcome. Others are out. We have robin Hood in
Speaker 1: the back. Huh, mr looking nice. We have done it.
Speaker 1: We have made forget the proud feet, Oh God, I
Speaker 1: and the proud feats. The proud feats are recognized. Now
Speaker 1: we are here to celebrate, and we have the entertainer
Speaker 1: of a lifetime. Everybody puts your don't forget the rock people. Okay,
Speaker 1: people are recognized. I'm saying all in happenings of Surewood Forest. Rejoice.
Speaker 1: And now the whispers of the leaves whispers. We do
Speaker 1: not recognize you. You were not recognized. Leave cry as
Speaker 1: you leave, now, ladies, people, Hey, dude, what the hell
Speaker 1: is that up there? Dude, it's just the last I
Speaker 1: just started sucking breaking down. Man. You know, I believe
Speaker 1: in this forest we live in obviously I live here,
Speaker 1: you know. But I mean, we wrote everyone down. Why
Speaker 1: didn't you just take the list up? Why do you
Speaker 1: want to win? Get? I don't know. I thought there
Speaker 1: would be more over, like an organic experience, people would
Speaker 1: feel seen and recognize. But instead I shipped the bed.
Speaker 1: And then and then I started singing as you know,
Speaker 1: and that nobody like that. And then and then they
Speaker 1: started throwing the Hey guys, I'm sorry, everybody's getting on.
Speaker 1: Really you're gonna try it to get Jerry O'Connell. I
Speaker 1: don't think that. I think I think maybe you should
Speaker 1: dry this. Jerry. It's you, Jerry. This is what you
Speaker 1: were born to do. Fun. I think in the other
Speaker 1: world I was, but here I'm not. Maybe here I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be, you know, a hunter or something. This
Speaker 1: is your job. Just recognized the people, recognized them, and
Speaker 1: then get to the entertainment. You'll do fine, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: I hear them shouting, though. I hear them shouting the
Speaker 1: musical act. Hello, it's me. I'm back. Jerry O'Connell. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: well kind of anyway, is he? Guest host Wendy william
Speaker 1: didn't he. This is not about me. This is about
Speaker 1: you and us, the beings of the Sherwood Forest. Now,
Speaker 1: without further ado, I present to you recognize the proud defeat.
Speaker 1: We have already been to the proud feet, proud feet.
Speaker 1: I've been recognized, and now I don't fog about the
Speaker 1: rock people rock you know what you know what I
Speaker 1: have t gotten about the rock people. Rock people? Talk
Speaker 1: to me? How how are the rock people feeling today?
Speaker 1: Don't don't do a little? Stone? Very funny, very funny,
Speaker 1: very funny, very funny. I get Stone once. I got
Speaker 1: Stone once? Who is the musical act? Jerry? The hell
Speaker 1: was that drug story? That was crazy? That was a
Speaker 1: crazy story. Man. I was just ripping. I was ripping.
Speaker 1: I thought being vulnerable would be relatable. You said you
Speaker 1: used the dead guy as a bomb? What the hell was?
Speaker 1: I want to lie. That's a wild man. He was
Speaker 1: my brother. Okay, I didn't say that part. I didn't
Speaker 1: say that I had sex a relationship with him. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't tell that was what the cherry? What do
Speaker 1: you do? Oh? Man, man, I don't know how we're
Speaker 1: going to spend this man, this is bad. Man. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you how I got the best entertainer of all time.
Speaker 1: He's waiting right back to age soon as they bring
Speaker 1: what I couldn't he got Bruno, Lord, no part of
Speaker 1: me out there and tell him you got Bruno Mars
Speaker 1: do all right? Hold on, okay, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: Mr Presley, can you do any Bruno Mars music? I
Speaker 1: know if you tune, But I just gotta use the
Speaker 1: restroom right now. Well, I'll be right out. Okay, Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: we feel in We getting Nancy feeling weird, excited for
Speaker 1: brutal Mars. That's right, that's right. You know, when I
Speaker 1: think of the word Mars, I think about her space,
Speaker 1: And when I think about her space, I think about
Speaker 1: a time I made out with my brother in the
Speaker 1: weirdest way out of here. What's going on? Did you
Speaker 1: ever did you ever send that car out to that
Speaker 1: bus or no? No, nobody was available. That's our second.
Speaker 1: C three is who wrote, Hi, Kevin. I know this
Speaker 1: isn't expected, but just wanted to thank you all for
Speaker 1: doing my suggestion hilarious. I know you don't have the
Speaker 1: shortest of suggestions, but here's one anyway, the rivalry between
Speaker 1: sky divers and bungee jumpers. Thanks again, Andre. So the
Speaker 1: history of this bridge goes back all the way to
Speaker 1: eighteen twenty two when Juggededaiah Foreigner decided to make the bridge. So,
Speaker 1: so it's a it's a it's a it's a huge.
Speaker 1: I mean you can bungee or sky dive off. That's
Speaker 1: how it's all it is. I mean, we're looking at
Speaker 1: about six mile high bridge. That's how how you up?
Speaker 1: You are? Excuse me? Which which one do you do? Oh? Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I just do tours, guided tours through here,
Speaker 1: So that's that's that's what I don't do either. But
Speaker 1: I will say this, I say, be worn all ye
Speaker 1: who crossed paths with either, because it gets intense. Extreme
Speaker 1: sporters are intense about their craft. What was That's a
Speaker 1: fucking bungee jumper? Nothing? Nothing? Okay, here, let's keep on
Speaker 1: because let me just let me just listen. I came
Speaker 1: along for the tour because I like bridges, but as
Speaker 1: a sky high her I don't want anybody to be
Speaker 1: misled by this asshole. You skydive from the sky, your
Speaker 1: base jump from a high place. If somebody jumped off
Speaker 1: this bridge, it would be base jumping. Sorry, sir, uh
Speaker 1: your tour. If I can't trust what you say, then
Speaker 1: why would I listen to you the rest of the
Speaker 1: I'm walking I'm walking away. I don't want to do
Speaker 1: this tour anymore. I mean, I guess, but I mean
Speaker 1: technically anything's a sky right, So all right, let's just
Speaker 1: keep on moving down here. And if you look at
Speaker 1: this pylon, now, can anyone tell me what difference does
Speaker 1: this pylon have that other ones don't. Oh, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: only you know me. Um, did foreigner find this pylon too? Yes?
Speaker 1: He did. Yes, So this is actually when you come
Speaker 1: with me, we're not gonna take this tour anymore. Let's go.
Speaker 1: Let's go, We're going think. Come on, this guy is
Speaker 1: an asshole. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Have
Speaker 1: a good one, have fun on your tour alone, buddy. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: magnificent bridge jubber dyah, you've done amazing work here. But
Speaker 1: why are you so close to the edge. I've built
Speaker 1: this bridge six miles in the sky to jump off
Speaker 1: of it? Wait what jump a diet? No, you can't
Speaker 1: survive that, it's six miles Ah. But I have tied this, uh,
Speaker 1: this rubbery string to me. Rubbery string. I don't think
Speaker 1: it could hold you. Well, we'll see about that when
Speaker 1: if the bridge jubb Mrs Forner, I'm so sorry, but
Speaker 1: your husband his feet snapped right off at the bottom
Speaker 1: of his legs when he bunged down from the bridge,
Speaker 1: and yeah, he'd be bloed out when when he did
Speaker 1: what a bungee in't a word we're throwing around, and
Speaker 1: do you think it sticks? What is it? Um? How
Speaker 1: do I describe this? It bungees like Um, I guess
Speaker 1: bunges the cord? How do I say this? My Jebediah
Speaker 1: used a chord. Why didn't he just jump without a cord? Well,
Speaker 1: then he surely died. Not not at all, sir. Surely
Speaker 1: you can make some type of contraption that would slow
Speaker 1: him down before you hit the bottom. Interesting, some kind
Speaker 1: of shoot, Yeah, some kind of before shoot dive through
Speaker 1: the sky. That's more extreme and better than sky dive.
Speaker 1: Shoot at the para sky dive. Will you do me
Speaker 1: a favor? Anything? Will you die from the sky using
Speaker 1: a shoot of para? For me? Of course? Anything for you. Jeez,
Speaker 1: get your hand off me. My husband, just I thought
Speaker 1: that was I thought that was my my ankle about that,
Speaker 1: that was my chance? Oh I I'm breaking this bridge down,
Speaker 1: So no, you can't come out here, So go turn around.
Speaker 1: We're breaking this bridge down. Somebody died up here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, we're gonna my husband who is your husband? Well,
Speaker 1: trust me, we're gonna break this down. No one will
Speaker 1: fall off of it again. So it's it should be
Speaker 1: a Okay, it's dangerous, so I'd step back as we're
Speaker 1: hammering this area. You know, it wouldn't be so dangerous
Speaker 1: if perhaps you had a contraption that slowed you down,
Speaker 1: if you were to tumble off the side of this
Speaker 1: tumble off the side of the space here like for instance,
Speaker 1: here hold onto this banana leaf and now I'll just
Speaker 1: give you a little shove. So yeah, I mean that's
Speaker 1: the first draft. But I feel like the town is
Speaker 1: gonna love this. I mean, to get community theory involved,
Speaker 1: the real true story Joko Dian how this all went down.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're clamoring for Once people hear it, they're
Speaker 1: gonna love it. I guarantee it's gonna be a state.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a staple of the town. I don't know,
Speaker 1: we really had our hearts set on our town, isn't that.
Speaker 1: I mean, our town just has a lot of roles
Speaker 1: for everyone, and it's it's it's about a small town,
Speaker 1: which is what we are. And this story is is
Speaker 1: to be honest far fed Okay, Okay, maybe in the sky.
Speaker 1: Look it's art. It's it's art history, alright. Sometimes you're
Speaker 1: gonna stretch the truth, no pun intended. Okay, so you're
Speaker 1: telling it as a true story. Now you're saying you're
Speaker 1: stretching the truth. You're stretching the truth like a bunget
Speaker 1: cord to be honest, and I know, getting these the
Speaker 1: stage plots you've drawn up for us, there's no way
Speaker 1: we have an auditorium big enough, nor do we have
Speaker 1: the budget to construct that. We don't have the budget
Speaker 1: art town require. There's no set souther than people's imagination.
Speaker 1: Is it a city council? This is the city council. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then I guess I get to speak. We're trying
Speaker 1: to decide the community theater. Can you recognize me? Please?
Speaker 1: I don't recognize you. Okay, I'd like to recognize you,
Speaker 1: but right now I don't recognize you. Really this space,
Speaker 1: you don't recognize me, Jerry O'Connell, know what, No, it's
Speaker 1: not me? All right? How about this? Do you recognize this?
Speaker 1: This motion where I leap up in the air and down?
Speaker 1: You recognize me? Now leap up in the air down?
Speaker 1: I don't. You can save us all a lot of
Speaker 1: time if you just told us who you are that
Speaker 1: we recognize many the bungee jumper idiots I'm the one
Speaker 1: that illegally bungee jumps all over our small town. All right,
Speaker 1: the chair recognizes Benji, the bungee jumper. Thank you. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm here to say, we gotta put an end to
Speaker 1: all these lunatic skydivers jumping into our town. Can I
Speaker 1: get an ad? We're still working on the community theater season. Um,
Speaker 1: if you'd like input in that, we'll do that right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: Stomp stop. We don't have the budget or talent for
Speaker 1: stomp alright. We we would like to do a musical.
Speaker 1: We're thinking South Pacific. This play is going to change
Speaker 1: the game. People are gonna know our town, not not
Speaker 1: our town. They're gonna know, Hey, guys, put your cigarettes out.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, put it out on me, not on you.
Speaker 1: Fuck fun Look, look, I know I'm the leader of
Speaker 1: this bungee jumping gang. I knew I would tell you
Speaker 1: that the way to fix the system is from within
Speaker 1: the system. I went in there, nothing changed. Hey, Benji,
Speaker 1: could I ask one little thing? Can we change the
Speaker 1: name of our gang from the b j's. It's not
Speaker 1: going well. I'm a lot of where looks all around town,
Speaker 1: everyone's saying the suck and then they titter, you know
Speaker 1: they do what they laugh You know they're laughing. Who's
Speaker 1: doing that? The tittering? Who's doing that? Everybody around? Time? Listen,
Speaker 1: here's what's going down tonight. Okay you guys, No, no, no, no, worse.
Speaker 1: What the hell am I doing with all these presidents?
Speaker 1: We're doing right in the sky. We're doing the fight
Speaker 1: in the sky. One of us is gonna jump off
Speaker 1: jebbidizel Bridge. I mean, I feel like we're gonna guy
Speaker 1: at certain a certain point in the jump where we're
Speaker 1: gonna meet the same speeding altitude as the sky diver.
Speaker 1: Look at are you guys the one out? Hey? Look?
Speaker 1: Is it me? Or is benj You just gone off
Speaker 1: the deep end? Man? All right? I thought we joined
Speaker 1: up the rub banks as a dead president's hunt, and
Speaker 1: then we're going to travel the bridges across the US
Speaker 1: and catch every big bungee man. Yeah, we don't have
Speaker 1: a catch phrase. Every time we knock at the door
Speaker 1: of a bank, open up and get ready for a
Speaker 1: b Jr. Was so sick when you came up with
Speaker 1: the jackets. Some money will get some money. I just
Speaker 1: I don't want to do a sky fight. You know what?
Speaker 1: Is that we're gonna die? Man, I'm done. Well, well,
Speaker 1: well if it isn't Stevie sky Deaver, Look it's me, Benny.
Speaker 1: I'm here to have this one on one meet with
Speaker 1: you to settle the rules for tonight's sky fight. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you so many times it's good. Okay, Stevie s
Speaker 1: of a excuse? Alright, alright, I'm also a skydiver, but
Speaker 1: that is my given name. It's French Eskeip you days,
Speaker 1: keep you day, alright, alright, respect, respect, alright. So what
Speaker 1: have we got? We got chains, blades, what are the rules? Firearms? Fists?
Speaker 1: All right, we could do all those things, but it's
Speaker 1: gonna weigh you down on the jump. And you don't
Speaker 1: gotta worry about me. Okay, I'm tethered by a fucking rope, dude. Okay,
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna settle this once and for all. Whoever lives,
Speaker 1: well that'll be different dominant extreme sport here in the
Speaker 1: small town. Whoever dies, well, let's just say they'll be dead.
Speaker 1: Will you just come out to the bridge with me
Speaker 1: tonight and I can do a live reading and you'll
Speaker 1: get the atmosphere, you'll get the feeling. Okay, I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: once you feel it outside on the bridge, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be like, this is the play. We don't have time
Speaker 1: to drive six miles into the sky to get to
Speaker 1: this bridge. Were just then walk whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: We're not walking. No, okay, okay, look I got a bus.
Speaker 1: When we all just piloted the bus, we go. Now
Speaker 1: it's my gas were eating up? No one else's all right,
Speaker 1: just come take my nephew. I'll take my nephew on
Speaker 1: the on this little journey with you. Great kids are
Speaker 1: gonna love it. Kids, you're gonna love it. Well, he'll
Speaker 1: be the designer, and I don't really have the same
Speaker 1: point of view as the kids these days, but I'll
Speaker 1: i'll see if my nephew likes it. Anyone else want
Speaker 1: to bring a remember, yeah, I mean I gotta I
Speaker 1: gotta bus. I was like, I'll bring my wife. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've already got my son in my pocket, so I
Speaker 1: think I'm okay, do you get your son in your pocket? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very little child. He's right here in my pocket. Kangaroo. No,
Speaker 1: I'm a human, I'm not on ours. It's in my pocket,
Speaker 1: all right, BJ's are we gonna come hard or what
Speaker 1: always come hard? That's right, that's right, that's Benji. I
Speaker 1: was talking with the guys and uh, first of all,
Speaker 1: put your cigarettes sounds okay, look Benjy, we were talking
Speaker 1: in we want to rob banks. Man, we don't want
Speaker 1: to do this. We're gonna die tonight. Is this true? Everybody? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This just seems too extreme. Man, I'm sorry. I got
Speaker 1: a Nixon mask. Okay, yeah, I know, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know, And it's a good mask. It's a great mask. Look,
Speaker 1: here comes a bus right now, alright, this bus come
Speaker 1: up here. They're gonna witness either the greatest skylight here. Alright,
Speaker 1: so we'll just go over and look trust me on
Speaker 1: the Okay, Now everyone here has a I printed out
Speaker 1: some some some what's you called? Uh scripts? Here? Okay,
Speaker 1: so everyone has one here you follow on follow in
Speaker 1: the play right now, I mean everyone in tell him
Speaker 1: to me in the play and then these uh would
Speaker 1: you like to come on? You're in the play? Oh, perfectly,
Speaker 1: already a bunch of courdes great sir, So would you
Speaker 1: like to play juggoda what you were at the City
Speaker 1: councilman earlier? Well? Yeah, yeah, why don't you play jugged.
Speaker 1: Would you like that? Okay, great, awesome. Okay, so let
Speaker 1: me just put this cord around your ankles here. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this is how it's gonna start. Yeah, a city
Speaker 1: on love right out of the bus. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So um, okay, so you know what, I didn't cast it.
Speaker 1: I should have cast up before. Okay. So why don't
Speaker 1: we have um, Mr Milner, Mr Milner, you and your
Speaker 1: your nephew, why don't you play uh, why don't you
Speaker 1: play Mrs Foreigner? Okay? And then the little next that's
Speaker 1: a woman's character, right, Hey, it's cool. No, no, I'd
Speaker 1: like to know the city council don't have many women. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's a problem that you all to figure out. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's not ama alright, we're having a path forward. It's
Speaker 1: a vote. You just vote for it. Okay. Well, we
Speaker 1: need to have a quorum in order to have a vote.
Speaker 1: Someone's flying down from the sky. What is that? I
Speaker 1: didn't do that. I don't do that. What's happening? It
Speaker 1: looks like a sky fight. It's just skyfight. Holy ship.
Speaker 1: That's president you going down step a day. You're going
Speaker 1: dune City Council. What do you what do you think
Speaker 1: I mean, we can have all those kind of special
Speaker 1: effects stuff in the actual play. Huh, well that that
Speaker 1: was impressive. We uh, we're putting it to a vote
Speaker 1: next week. Our town is still a top contender. Jesus,
Speaker 1: come on, I had my feet ripped off. Come on,
Speaker 1: councilman Ricketts really wants to do equis for some reason,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't think that's going to pass
Speaker 1: the naked horseplay. Hell, are you gonna do that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's the naked horseplay. Look, that was that was impressive.
Speaker 1: It was maybe more graphic than we're looking for. We
Speaker 1: are a community theater after all. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot,
Speaker 1: I gotta say. And we're also considering the Heidi Chronicles now,
Speaker 1: which I know it's like a solo show, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's on the table. I don't know what where you
Speaker 1: have to find a woman though. That's gonna be hard here.
Speaker 1: That hard. We mean, so Uncle Hank, I don't really
Speaker 1: understand who is better than skydivers, bungee jumpers, song and
Speaker 1: dance people. I'm confused. It's sky divers. Sky divers are
Speaker 1: the better ones. I I know. It was kind of
Speaker 1: hard and the play was a little deluded. I don't
Speaker 1: trust that guy's script, first of all. But yeah, sky
Speaker 1: divers are best face jumpers, your second best bungee jumpers,
Speaker 1: her third, best people on a trampoline or fourth best
Speaker 1: people on top of the fan that are simulating sky
Speaker 1: that's the bottom. And those guys don't. Those guys are
Speaker 1: not doing anything worth while. Community, the community theater people
Speaker 1: different category. They're not even in competition. You know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm sad when sky diving came to Grover's Corners and
Speaker 1: that's our let's thank you see what they're up. Dude, Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you, and everybody, if you're in Los Angeles, please
Speaker 1: email are your city commissioned to figure out what the
Speaker 1: hell they were doing with that goddamn recycling video. Our
Speaker 1: tax money should not be going to that, all right?
Speaker 1: It was sick six shift. Yeah, James Cedney, uh well,
Speaker 1: check out their supply Wednesday nights on Twitch slash BS Comedy,
Speaker 1: Twitch dot tv slash BS Comedy Wednesday's a p m.
Speaker 1: Pacific Standard time. Chris Alvarado, Um, I just want to
Speaker 1: say I listened to two episodes of Alchemy that that
Speaker 1: that it's a good it's it's a good time. It's
Speaker 1: a good time. It's a little scary to listen to,
Speaker 1: like I knew it would be, but um, it's really
Speaker 1: fun to hear everybody's thoughts and I just like that.
Speaker 1: We're building this community. They're building a community of you know,
Speaker 1: like minded people. So I want to encourage everybody who
Speaker 1: listens to this podcast, who might not have listened to
Speaker 1: Alchemy That, to give it a listen. Give it a listen.
Speaker 1: Hear what the people are talking about. Nice Craig Jaikowski, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. Big supporter of Alchemy That and the
Speaker 1: Reddit page for Alchemy This. Get on there and get
Speaker 1: some chatter going. I love it all. Nice. I'm Cold
Speaker 1: Stratton at Stratton Cole on Instagram at col Stratton on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Also go to as a sketch us dot com. You
Speaker 1: can now rent the Big Fist Pocalypse show we did
Speaker 1: this past weekend. It's three and a half hours of
Speaker 1: comedy for twenty bucks. Uh. It all goes to helping
Speaker 1: us stay a float, So come check that out. Let's
Speaker 1: thank our engineering producer Doug Bain and the fine folks
Speaker 1: i heeart media dot com. Please write to us at
Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com Until next time.