Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Him is COVID nine edition.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes that Kevin Well. But
Speaker 1: days land reopens, they'll reopen my heart too. Okay, but
Speaker 1: I digress, Sweet Kim shall we know particularly to say
Speaker 1: hello to Craig Kowski cow, assuming there's anything. What's the
Speaker 1: third thing you missed about having me as host? Uh? Chaos? Yeah, sweet,
Speaker 1: sweet chaos. You just add a little uh, you know,
Speaker 1: good chaos into the mix. And uh I thought, you know,
Speaker 1: while you were gone, we were too straightforward, to too
Speaker 1: polite and too too good. I didn't hear him saying
Speaker 1: good christ Okay, that's all John Belu inspired. Um, and
Speaker 1: now Chris Alvarado Christmas me the most. How is your
Speaker 1: February going? Um? Pretty good? Feel good? Yeah? I feel good.
Speaker 1: I feel strong? Yeah, yeah good, I feel strong. I
Speaker 1: feel good, I feel strong and I feel good. So
Speaker 1: and now we mostly believe you feel sorry, Caroline. I
Speaker 1: feel strong and I feel good that you don't. You don't,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. Okay, Okay, Hey there's James Ceeney, Jimmy Jinkle,
Speaker 1: Do tell me more about your recent experience making pizza
Speaker 1: from scratch. Oh well, it was. The truth is turned
Speaker 1: out as good as the Instagram picture says. It was
Speaker 1: the same dough that I used to make cinnamon rules,
Speaker 1: which turn out. But the problem was and the dough
Speaker 1: is made from scratch, so there's no frosting, there's no
Speaker 1: cinnamon a raisins in it. But there's a certain sweetness
Speaker 1: that comes along with the don't want a pizza, but
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it cooked perfectly. It looked beautiful, the basil,
Speaker 1: the mozzarella was delicious. But the third problem, the second problem.
Speaker 1: The pasta sauce I got was spicy for the pizza sauce.
Speaker 1: But the spice that they didn't really let you know
Speaker 1: is it's like taco seasoning. So it was like taco seasoning, sauce,
Speaker 1: sweet crust, and everything else was great. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: try it again this week. My mom sent me and
Speaker 1: it hasn't arrived yet. Pizza Yeast, which I didn't even
Speaker 1: know was a thing. It's a name I wrestled under
Speaker 1: in the seventies, Mrs Potts a lot. After asking your
Speaker 1: parents for a pet the first time, what happened? I
Speaker 1: think they got me one because somebody was moving. It
Speaker 1: was a bunny name Nibbles. But then, um, it froze
Speaker 1: to death outside because my mom left it outside in
Speaker 1: the winter, because your mom kept it out. Yes, lots
Speaker 1: of rabbits live outside through the winter, so that I
Speaker 1: don't think they're right out. Wild ones do. But and
Speaker 1: I wonder why they don't freeze. I have to look something.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to think your mom's cruel. I think
Speaker 1: it's an honest mistake unless it was a shape rabbit.
Speaker 1: And then shame shaved rabbit. I'm not saying it wasn't,
Speaker 1: just saying a regular rabbit. Do you see rabbits outside
Speaker 1: the winter all the time? Well, this one, well, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you this. It was frozen solid, and I remember
Speaker 1: I had like ship stuck to its but and you
Speaker 1: could see the frozen eyes. She made me look, she
Speaker 1: made you look, and you were how old? Thirty one?
Speaker 1: I just learned the hard way. Don't google shape rabbit.
Speaker 1: She saw my wrestling pose from the eighties and last
Speaker 1: but only broken heart candies for you if you think
Speaker 1: him least, it's Joey Greer loveless marriage McGee. Why today?
Speaker 1: Because there's no tomorrow, There's never a tomorrow, And I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that the sense of like, there's no tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that the sense that there's no tomorrow right
Speaker 1: and saying if you say tomorrow in a different way,
Speaker 1: say tom right, it's it's the same word, you just
Speaker 1: said it differently. And if you think about that, that's
Speaker 1: exactly where we're at right now. It's that people are
Speaker 1: think of it. You can put any word and you
Speaker 1: can say it differently. And that's that's that's really the
Speaker 1: divide that I'm seeing right now. How is the household
Speaker 1: people saying people saying different word let me finish, people
Speaker 1: saying different words differently. And that's that's the big problem
Speaker 1: because at the core of it, at the center, at
Speaker 1: the at the sweet sweet center, if you break that
Speaker 1: in half and you look inside and you dig out,
Speaker 1: because obviously when you breaking that in half, there's this
Speaker 1: thing inside there, but you remember that there's what non interrupt,
Speaker 1: the don't like the the chalky that chalky white that's
Speaker 1: in the inside. What the hell's that called? The come yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and it's there's there's it's now now is the time? Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you? It is. All of our scene suggestions are
Speaker 1: gathered from your listener emails or from our patroon v
Speaker 1: i P s what's that Yes? To become a patron
Speaker 1: p I P A p app app supporter of the
Speaker 1: show and the joy exclusive content and other part just
Speaker 1: head on over to the patreon dot com slash alchemy This.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email,
Speaker 1: I would we condone suggection. Please write to the podcast
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's
Speaker 1: your name here at scene one. It's from pet who wrote, Hey,
Speaker 1: Gang and Kevin. Specifically, I was introduced to the podcast
Speaker 1: by my friend Spencer or as you may know him,
Speaker 1: Samma paint Ye, as an improviser in the San Diego
Speaker 1: area San Diego scene. He wrote, that's weird. I feel
Speaker 1: I feel violated. I have just been enthralled with seeing
Speaker 1: oh and thralled uh he's canceled this guy's cancer, enthralled
Speaker 1: with seeing how other improvisers work and everyone has their
Speaker 1: own special brand of comedy brand. I have been doing
Speaker 1: the meticulous task of meticulous test catching him, but every
Speaker 1: single episode since you started. In that time, I got
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who gladly listens alongside me. High page suggestion
Speaker 1: time sure it is. Anyone in South San Diego will
Speaker 1: collaborate this story. But every day at six pm ish,
Speaker 1: a flock of thousands of crows flies overhead and heads
Speaker 1: to the west. It's true, I've seen it. My girlfriend
Speaker 1: had never seen anything like it before, since she's from
Speaker 1: North San Diego. We came up with this game that
Speaker 1: every crop I'm like a third of the way through.
Speaker 1: We came up with this game every crow we see,
Speaker 1: he is out to get us and keep a mafia
Speaker 1: like hold on South San Diego. So in short, no,
Speaker 1: no too late, a family just traveling through happens upon
Speaker 1: a town where the crows secretly run the place and
Speaker 1: everyone just obey that. Thanks in advance, lovingly yours, p
Speaker 1: D and page PS just cut up with the gag
Speaker 1: that Joey eats his own come is that's still a thing?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, baby, Oh honey, look look at that little shop.
Speaker 1: We should stop that. Okay, okay, we're a little behind,
Speaker 1: but I think we should stop. It's a really cute town.
Speaker 1: You're driving, so you can do you want to pull
Speaker 1: the car over? I'm thinking about we passed behind us.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna make a sweet hueie. Oh that's it's
Speaker 1: a nice curb. Do you have any change for the meter? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have here. The quarters are in the glove compartment.
Speaker 1: So here you are you all doing here? Sorry, we
Speaker 1: have to roll down the window. What the hell are
Speaker 1: y'all doing here? Sorry? Serry, you're on mute. So funny? Um, sorry,
Speaker 1: we my husband, so funny. We just wanted to look
Speaker 1: at that tiny little shop over there on my shop
Speaker 1: right there, yea Earl's Magic and things. You're earl, I'm earle.
Speaker 1: What are you doing across the street? Earl? Well, I'd
Speaker 1: like to look at my shop from a distance, admire
Speaker 1: what I have created with my two hands. Wow, that's
Speaker 1: living in the present. The only shop that's not run
Speaker 1: by there's goddamn crows say, sound like you said crows. Well,
Speaker 1: I gotta sail on beef jerky, I gotta sail on
Speaker 1: wind chimes and all these other knick knacks are just go.
Speaker 1: You said it's a magic shop. Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I got bottled watered gatorade. I make sandwiches, you name it.
Speaker 1: Panini's just discovered that Bentley. Leave those people alone. Get
Speaker 1: out of here, get scooped, get out of here. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry, folks. He's our crown, our crown, our town
Speaker 1: crazy but crown. Oh yeah, I just had to shoo
Speaker 1: him away by welcome. Well. Thanks. Hi. We're just passing
Speaker 1: through and saw that shop over there, that magic shop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm Earl of Earl's Magic and Things. So who was
Speaker 1: that again? We were just bently he's the town crazy.
Speaker 1: Oh that's he mentioned the crow thing to you? By
Speaker 1: any chance, he said, crows, But I thought it was
Speaker 1: some sort of um slur. So it was, it was,
Speaker 1: And that's why we don't We don't want them around. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm around, so coming in, coming in, din witty, you
Speaker 1: leave those people alone. You, Oh my god, that means
Speaker 1: getting chases from the crown of my head and the
Speaker 1: taser hold on this on this town's crown tazy. Okay,
Speaker 1: And I'm Earl and that's my magic shop. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I just you have to understand that my husband and
Speaker 1: are confused. Were in a very long journey from south
Speaker 1: to North San Diego and um and um was you're
Speaker 1: the third person who said you've owned this magic shop.
Speaker 1: Here we having your store open. We said you can't
Speaker 1: so magic And I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mr. Crow, please
Speaker 1: please don't hurt my family. Never, I'll chase myself. I'll
Speaker 1: chase myself, Oh my god, chasing himself. Honey, Maybe we
Speaker 1: don't get out of the car. I think it's a yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I said three dollars for this lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll take it. No more wine? So how was San Diego? Oh? Man?
Speaker 1: It was the craziest thing I've ever seen? Actually, I
Speaker 1: mean that side of San Diego. I don't reckon, huh
Speaker 1: south side? Yeah right, it's down just one most blue
Speaker 1: of wine. No more wine. We're fine, driple of wine
Speaker 1: for either. We're fine. We're fine, Okay, Jimmy, if you
Speaker 1: don't mind, I would like to see what a splue is?
Speaker 1: Your cop up? Hold you cup up? Yep, yep, just
Speaker 1: a splue? Who are you cool? You drink? That's that's what.
Speaker 1: It's the only way to measure a spous without being
Speaker 1: behind the ball. That guy is sore. I think that's
Speaker 1: just the check. Thanks. What is up with that guy?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but he would have fit right in
Speaker 1: South San Diego. I can tell you that. Jeez. Nothing
Speaker 1: but what I tell you I did even get out
Speaker 1: of the car. This Oh my gosh, this is what's
Speaker 1: happened North San Diego. Stuff like this. That's why I'm
Speaker 1: buying up all these lots. That's why. Right you're telling
Speaker 1: me about the lots. What are you gonna do with them? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm buying these lots and I'm converting them into the
Speaker 1: modern apartments. But here's the kicker, there's no partets in there. Sorry,
Speaker 1: pretty much. I'm just are you do you buy lots? Yes?
Speaker 1: I do one. I can just tell by your watch.
Speaker 1: Is that is that an omega? Yes? It is on
Speaker 1: both sides? Wow? Holy do you? I just I just
Speaker 1: find a lots buying so fascinating. Do you mind if
Speaker 1: I just listen in? Thank you? What's your name? Wow?
Speaker 1: I'd rather not say okay, you're just on toime. I
Speaker 1: was about to bring the check. Can I offer you
Speaker 1: a spoons of wine? You know what? I'm gonna cover there?
Speaker 1: Whatever they had here? Take this guy? Are you sure
Speaker 1: we had a lot? No problem? So tell me about
Speaker 1: these lots, I mean we should. Can you bring me
Speaker 1: one more steak and lobster? I'll do the same. I'll
Speaker 1: do a lobster and steak, So tell me my sticks too. Lobsters?
Speaker 1: You know what area of San Diego you buying these
Speaker 1: lots in? I mean San Diego obviously, okay, and like
Speaker 1: how and like you right on the border of north
Speaker 1: and south. You just keep far north, just so fascinated
Speaker 1: by these lots. Yeah about the big lot you bought.
Speaker 1: Just I just bought a lot that's uh sixteen acres. Mhm.
Speaker 1: Did you need any informisition for that? Oh? Yeah I did,
Speaker 1: Oh yes I did. Yeah, who I mean I had
Speaker 1: to buy it? Yeah? And then and who's who's permission
Speaker 1: did you get? Well? The owner of the lot? Oh,
Speaker 1: who's that? I just love lots. They're fascinating to me.
Speaker 1: Who who who's that lot? It's just some old lady.
Speaker 1: You know. You got in there real quick. What's happening?
Speaker 1: Get out of San Diego, man, get of San Diego
Speaker 1: right now, by the order of the crows. Oh that guy?
Speaker 1: Just I meane, like a dozen, I don't know if
Speaker 1: a thousand, because it doesn't matter, doesn't matter. I'm back
Speaker 1: and in my card. Sure he's okay, it's I haven't
Speaker 1: charged this charge kee the car, just a couple of montes.
Speaker 1: I've been to rush this order given the card. Hi, sir,
Speaker 1: this is an American Express. We just saw a strange
Speaker 1: order on that charge. Uh it's from Mr Crow from
Speaker 1: Crow Enterprises. Is that correct? Oh, it's just this is
Speaker 1: American Express. I said that when I picked up the phone.
Speaker 1: I'm the manager at the boota. Did you card decline
Speaker 1: the charges? Because I assure you that there was several sticks,
Speaker 1: several lobsters, mini splices point. Okay, let me just go
Speaker 1: over your resume. I mean, we certainly need a waiter
Speaker 1: here at the restaurant right away. Oh, Royal Shakespearean Theater.
Speaker 1: Not very long. In fact, I only in turns. I
Speaker 1: never got to really put foot on steach, as they
Speaker 1: call it, never got foot on steach. Right. Where are
Speaker 1: you from? Originally from the North Side to Chicago? Uh right.
Speaker 1: You probably noticed it in the accent. Yeah. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what I wanted to talk to you about, because here
Speaker 1: in North San Diego people are very used to a
Speaker 1: chill vibe and coming off a little intense. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: little little hoity toity, a little head master. Head master
Speaker 1: is okay, what if I excuse me, I want to
Speaker 1: put on the floor. I'm gonna put you on the
Speaker 1: floor for one day, just see how it goes. You
Speaker 1: won't regret this. Okay, good luck. Sorry, let me say
Speaker 1: that cool again. You won't regret this. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: little more chill cool. Um. Yeah, I'm sorry. I just
Speaker 1: understood that I could order from you, and you keep
Speaker 1: reciting this monologue at me. So I just really want
Speaker 1: the cobs salad with um the stick on the side, please,
Speaker 1: Cobb with soups, the steak where with the steak with
Speaker 1: your school him. No. See now it seems like you're
Speaker 1: including my order in your monologue, and I just write
Speaker 1: it down. That's to get that order. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: grab that and it'll be back to you people. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't trust that he actually took anything down. And
Speaker 1: he sounds like an idiot anyway, So you're so yeah,
Speaker 1: and the dog was shot stomach? Sorry? Sorry did you
Speaker 1: just to the dog? Yeahh my gosh, what happened to
Speaker 1: the dog? We're good? Actually? So yea quick no sorry.
Speaker 1: The seven says all the time you always get hit
Speaker 1: on because no, no, no, no, I just I love.
Speaker 1: I'm a dog lover. I dog lover, sue me. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't believe you. We don't. We don't want you
Speaker 1: to stick here. Okay, well I'm here anyway, so you
Speaker 1: feel what what's I feel uncomfortable? And there's also shout
Speaker 1: then a lot of like violent crimes happening here, people
Speaker 1: getting shop why blank in restaurants and like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I feel I'm not wanted here. I'm not. It feels
Speaker 1: it feels. So I'm gonna excuse me you, Mr crew,
Speaker 1: What do you want? First of all, you're not allowed
Speaker 1: here anymore. Just take my card. Take my card I
Speaker 1: got I'm gonna come get this card away plenty. I
Speaker 1: got a big car that check. Take the cards. Take
Speaker 1: when it's like a million crow, it's oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's twelve what's twelve crows? Why do you keep yelling
Speaker 1: a million? Ma'am? Why are you coming over to our table?
Speaker 1: We're having a broad conversation. Tried the frozen rabbit. I'm
Speaker 1: just curious. No, I don't even see on the menu.
Speaker 1: Did you bring them to tupperware? Hey, bossa, I need
Speaker 1: I need a new beat. That restaurant is not. I
Speaker 1: need something more. I need something more. Well, well, I
Speaker 1: think you're doing a good job. Look at how how
Speaker 1: much we have control on this side of that. I
Speaker 1: know but I want a bigger job, some people more danger.
Speaker 1: Just scaring people at a restaurant isn't doing it for
Speaker 1: me anymore. All right to a job, I don't we
Speaker 1: expand expand to Mexico. And that scene one, I love
Speaker 1: that the crow was just the waiter with a phlegm problem.
Speaker 1: That was so sight accent for the crow. Oh funk,
Speaker 1: that was awesome. I love the crow scene too. Comes
Speaker 1: to us from Alcamaniac, will who wrote M The Long One.
Speaker 1: Dear Alchemists, It's William Morris here, Yes, the exact one
Speaker 1: you're thinking of, And I want Mr Chris Alvarado audition
Speaker 1: for an upcoming role. Just kidding. It's William Moors from
Speaker 1: upstate St. Louis. Had to mix it up as this
Speaker 1: is my sixth scene suggestion to make it to air.
Speaker 1: That's right, suck it and I'm just not famous or
Speaker 1: funny enough to keep ripping off Granddad Pollock what? And
Speaker 1: I just wanted Chris to be happy, even if it's
Speaker 1: just for a second. It works. He went inside your
Speaker 1: soul a little. Anyways, I'm going to get a little
Speaker 1: dark here too late, but I need you guys with
Speaker 1: me on this one. My dad had a stroke and
Speaker 1: didn't recognize what was happening, and thus didn't get to
Speaker 1: the hospital until sixteen all caps fucking hours later. To
Speaker 1: make a long story short er, he spent a few
Speaker 1: months in hospitals and rehabs and now's in a nursing
Speaker 1: home or I have no idea when I'll be able
Speaker 1: to see him in person again. And it's just been,
Speaker 1: as one would expect, really fucking hard on me and
Speaker 1: my family. Alchemy, this has been carrying me through. I
Speaker 1: have literally listened to your whole catalog on repeat for months.
Speaker 1: You guys have been instrumental in keeping my sanity and
Speaker 1: not crumbling under the way of caring for my sister,
Speaker 1: keeping up with work, and all the other boats, all
Speaker 1: the other ship that's happened between August and now, from
Speaker 1: the bottom of my heart, thank you. I love you all,
Speaker 1: and I owe you all so much. But I'll pay
Speaker 1: it back twenty five bucks a month, as all alchemyniacs do. Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: that got long, but I needed to say it since
Speaker 1: laughing at a shit suation is the best way to cope.
Speaker 1: Look away, James, A person Joey please in denial about
Speaker 1: Alee actively having a stroke. Ps James, if you see
Speaker 1: sparks one oh three on twitch or in the cast, hang,
Speaker 1: that's me much love alchemy that ship? Yeah, give me
Speaker 1: another piece of that's steaking lobster. You've had five steaks
Speaker 1: and two lobsters already, Sir, what are you saying? Well,
Speaker 1: we don't have a policy about cutting people off from food,
Speaker 1: But then what are you doing to me? This is
Speaker 1: just me as a human being saying it's not What
Speaker 1: do you think I am? Uh? You're thinking a piece
Speaker 1: of third wrapped in some kind of other piece of
Speaker 1: ship floating down a ship river. Uh you're thinking what
Speaker 1: piece of ship? Half of your face just froze? Yeah
Speaker 1: I did, because I'm looking at an asshole. What that
Speaker 1: you're pishing me off? My chest is hurting your pieces
Speaker 1: of ship? Okay, all right, so another lobster tail? And uh?
Speaker 1: And what kind of steak? I don't know. Something I
Speaker 1: can use my left hand with because my right and
Speaker 1: it acted up. Because you're such a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: I think you might be having a stroke part of me,
Speaker 1: Doctor Dodctor High. Sorry to interrupt your your dinner break, um,
Speaker 1: but we need you. Yeah, I'm a you got a problem.
Speaker 1: With that. He's a surgeon, he's the best surgeon in Illinois.
Speaker 1: He's having a stroke. He should he should be recognizing
Speaker 1: these symptoms. I think having a stroke. Okay, I'm a
Speaker 1: steak part center and that's what up. Okay, all right, listen, dr.
Speaker 1: We have that very important surgery schedule for now, and
Speaker 1: it's an emergency. But don't be vague about it. Just
Speaker 1: get to it. Tell me what's going on. It's the
Speaker 1: one with the high profile person who's getting the high
Speaker 1: profile cuts done to them. All right, it's a celebrity
Speaker 1: who's getting an augmentation done. But it needs to happen
Speaker 1: now because they have a big event tomorrow. What needs
Speaker 1: to happen is his own surgery for the stroke he's
Speaker 1: having to Look. Look, I'm not having a stroke, so
Speaker 1: we're certain that there could be no problems. I just
Speaker 1: want a good a vasectomy. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: able to have any children, so I just want to
Speaker 1: get this to be really low key. A problem with
Speaker 1: children having children. No, it's just that I like to party.
Speaker 1: I've got a big event tomorrow and I just don't
Speaker 1: want to party. So you'd like us to cut into
Speaker 1: your private I just want a quick little As I've
Speaker 1: been told, these are very simple snips that SIPs. You
Speaker 1: heard the words snips. Hi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm I'm just work at the front desk
Speaker 1: of the hospital. I just want to come in. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say I am such a big fan of yours,
Speaker 1: Mr Kit Linda, I love what do It's inappropriate? Sorry,
Speaker 1: I know, I'm so sorry. Um, you're You're sorry. I'm sorry, Linda.
Speaker 1: Can you maybe return to your post? Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: want to say I love your work. I'll be at
Speaker 1: your movie Paran tomorrow. I gotta take it. Okay, great? Um,
Speaker 1: okay you wanna do you want to give him your number?
Speaker 1: I mean, how far has we taken? This? Is this
Speaker 1: a joker? Real? Because I'm going to do it. Dude.
Speaker 1: You're gonna love him. Man, this place is sick. Everyone
Speaker 1: loves the party. Man. Everyone's gonna fill each other up. Dude.
Speaker 1: They all got vasectomies, all right. There's so no worries
Speaker 1: because we love the party. Man. Everyone knows if you
Speaker 1: like the party to get filled. So it's a part
Speaker 1: of I mean no kid parties kind of thing saying d'
Speaker 1: gonna love it fuck it will, no condoms, no no children.
Speaker 1: Oh hey, honey, I Linda your home. How was the
Speaker 1: office today? Oh my god, it was amazing. Brad Pitt
Speaker 1: was there. I gave him my number, and then he
Speaker 1: did kind of ask me to go to, like, h
Speaker 1: what he described as a really fun filler up party,
Speaker 1: which I can only understand me just getting absolutely filled
Speaker 1: to the brim with come. So I was a good day.
Speaker 1: How are the kids? How thank you for no? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, no so much. Hi, sweetie, you want see
Speaker 1: my drawing? I would love to. Oh my god, honey,
Speaker 1: that it's dark. It's a bunny. It's a frozen bunny.
Speaker 1: You can see I see the um Wow, it looks
Speaker 1: like it like almost bled out before it froze. Uh huh,
Speaker 1: all this blood captules exploded part of me? Mr Pitt.
Speaker 1: M I know you're in this hotel, uh, making the
Speaker 1: opening hotel room to a stranger. I just I didn't
Speaker 1: order any room service. It's not room service. Look, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'll just talk to you to the door step,
Speaker 1: far enough away from the door so I can see
Speaker 1: what you look like. Okay, you armed to turn around? Armed? No? No,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm a pretty big celebrities. I'm not just
Speaker 1: gonna let anybody in here. All right, let me, I'll
Speaker 1: open the door. Thank you. What do you need? Um?
Speaker 1: I understand you're having a party tomorrow night. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: filler up party. I I am who told you this?
Speaker 1: This is kind of like party from my movie Premier.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to bust you on that. Just well,
Speaker 1: my wife will be in attendance, and she's under the
Speaker 1: impression that you're gonna you're gonna fill her to the brim.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, come inside, come inside. That's what you're
Speaker 1: my wife. I don't think you realized this is not
Speaker 1: as big a deal as you think I'm getting. Do
Speaker 1: you realize what you just said? Yeah? Just step inside,
Speaker 1: my I know, come inside, Come step inside. Come, I'm
Speaker 1: about to tell you a secret. To tell you a secret. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm getting a vissectomy. I'm getting it snipped. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fill her up. But there's no babies coming. It's just
Speaker 1: it's just sex. It's you know what. Here. You can
Speaker 1: come to the filler up party too, but but come
Speaker 1: you get a vasectomy first, because that's how we pardoned.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Wow, Mr Pitt thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming in to the precinct today. I'm so sorry again
Speaker 1: about the robbery. Um, forgive me. I'm a big fan
Speaker 1: and I've seen a lot of your work, So that's
Speaker 1: what's driving this question, um, instead of theft, Is it
Speaker 1: possible that you just lost your Oscar award, that you
Speaker 1: just misplaced it? No, and I'm thinking of your your
Speaker 1: character specifically from True Romance, and of course, uh well,
Speaker 1: a few of you realize that what I'm playing those
Speaker 1: characters that's not at all like me. I do. But
Speaker 1: I've also heard, because I listen, that you like the
Speaker 1: weed in real life. So again I'm gonna pose the question,
Speaker 1: is it possible you just lost your candy? Let's call
Speaker 1: it possible, but not plausible. It's an Oscar. I carry
Speaker 1: it with me a lot, carry you with you. Hold on,
Speaker 1: let me just write there. You carry from room to
Speaker 1: room in your house, typically not in my house, but
Speaker 1: when I go out, I like to have it in
Speaker 1: in that's I keep it in the pant leg like
Speaker 1: you could maybe hide a forty If you're trying to
Speaker 1: sneak out of a gas station or whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: you put it in your pant legs so you can
Speaker 1: take it out at a party. Do you like the party? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'd like to maybe spend a little more
Speaker 1: time on the forty in the pant leg. Come over here,
Speaker 1: look at Wallace. Man's playing really bad cop towards over there.
Speaker 1: Check this out? You know what, let's let's can you
Speaker 1: hear me? He doesn't realize I have the two ameer
Speaker 1: Mike on, Um, Wow, that's weird. So so you're you're
Speaker 1: saying you carry your oscar in your pant leg when
Speaker 1: you leave the house. I tuck it into my sock
Speaker 1: and I pulled my pant legs so it covers my
Speaker 1: shoe if I need to. I mean, you always hear
Speaker 1: that this is like an efficient this two week mirrors
Speaker 1: usually a thought done for like in the movie seven
Speaker 1: So used to Sorry, it's a one way mirror, two
Speaker 1: way Mike, he can he can hear me? I can
Speaker 1: hear I can hear you too. Listen. I can't take
Speaker 1: too long with Hey. Yeah, some of the guys had
Speaker 1: a bet going what was in the box? I mean,
Speaker 1: did Larry Did some of you guys who were making
Speaker 1: that bet not see the end of the film. No,
Speaker 1: I've seen everything. I've seen seven up to the last
Speaker 1: ten minutes, up to the up to the line what's
Speaker 1: in the box? And then I stopped watching. Sure that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Honestly, they never said in my lines, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it was. The box that I was
Speaker 1: handed on set was empty. Okay, so there we go up.
Speaker 1: But Mr Pitt, to be fair, you did then look
Speaker 1: into the box and then shoot the Kevin Space character? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. It was a really big character change.
Speaker 1: I was a hero the whole time that looked in
Speaker 1: this empty box on set and then shot at Kevin
Speaker 1: Spacey dude. Once we get through this bartending class, we're
Speaker 1: gonna have access to all the hottest bars and all
Speaker 1: the hottest parties going on in l a aut Right. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry. Are we supposed to bring our own
Speaker 1: steaks or will these steaks be provided for us? Hello?
Speaker 1: Am I going on? I'm sorry? I walked away. I
Speaker 1: walked away. Um, I had to answer a call. You will, Uh,
Speaker 1: the restaurant will provide the stakes for you, and then
Speaker 1: as a steak bartender, you're responsible for bartending those steaks
Speaker 1: to your customers. Okay. Uh? Um, So I believe the
Speaker 1: first A. Right, what was that call about pretty? You
Speaker 1: look pretty frazzled? You're right? Um, no, I'm fine. This
Speaker 1: is um. I gotta keep work. This is my job,
Speaker 1: and I have some personal stuff going on. Um it's nothing, um,
Speaker 1: but this is you need to just keep serving the steak. Okay,
Speaker 1: no matter what people say, if they say they don't
Speaker 1: want steak anymore, if they say that the steak is
Speaker 1: not good enough for them, if they say that the
Speaker 1: steak um, you know, maybe gotten to a car accident
Speaker 1: and you know, killed some steaks. So that I think
Speaker 1: we'll give you enough. That's enough direction, I think for
Speaker 1: you to use the rest of the class. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be over the hair. If you have any questions,
Speaker 1: let me know. But let's just see you guys complete
Speaker 1: your assignment. Okay, they controve and kill you guys. You
Speaker 1: guys here for the party. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah I
Speaker 1: got the password. Yeah I get this you guys. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: we got a pass with you snips. Okay, that's an
Speaker 1: old password, but all over it. I got a different
Speaker 1: password if you want to. Yeah, I'd love to hear you.
Speaker 1: Reptiles and winter sleep better than they would if it
Speaker 1: was too hot out. Okay, that's that's not a password. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh well what did I say? What did that act?
Speaker 1: Grammy access to? Uh? You get you get one free
Speaker 1: frozen younger, and I give you a ride of up
Speaker 1: to five miles. Ride of up to five miles. That
Speaker 1: means he has access to you also, and that would
Speaker 1: be a good time to use any password you have,
Speaker 1: if you have any more. Okay, I mean it looks
Speaker 1: it's like several dozen people standing around doors here. I
Speaker 1: bet if you just damn bet, if we just start
Speaker 1: rattling of password, you I have access to a fantastic
Speaker 1: world of underground. Try let's see what opens up. So far,
Speaker 1: you're getting banged for like five certificate that you have
Speaker 1: a vasectomy and of vicep for me. Okay, Mr pitt
Speaker 1: we Um, you're all prepped for the surgery. Now. I've
Speaker 1: got a party coming soon, so it's got a deal
Speaker 1: before tonight. The doctors here. Um. Some people are saying
Speaker 1: he is an odd he's in an odd Well, I
Speaker 1: got to say, surgeon, and the best of the best
Speaker 1: are typically a little quirky, eccentric, right, that's right now
Speaker 1: here he comes. I always you this friend. Thank you, doctor,
Speaker 1: doctor do this. Let's do this. Okay, um uh must
Speaker 1: be the doctor. Yeah, all right, we're gonna keep you
Speaker 1: awake for this. Okay, I'd really rather be Oh porter
Speaker 1: rare lobster tale, that's me. That's me. Spin Can we
Speaker 1: get this copl Can we get a tape to my
Speaker 1: right hand? This is a state knife. That's the best
Speaker 1: as close as you can get. Oh, good morning, Linda.
Speaker 1: How is your night? Oh my god, it was amazing, Babe.
Speaker 1: I wish I guess I don't wish you were there,
Speaker 1: but I wish you could have seen it. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I had to just good money, hey,
Speaker 1: truck d our collars, because I want to tell you something.
Speaker 1: I could have been there, Okay, I couldn't, but I
Speaker 1: chose not to go. You need a vasectomy and a bisectomy.
Speaker 1: You don't have either one of those. Honey, he invited me. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's all I'm saying. I chose to be home with
Speaker 1: the kids. So I hope you had a good time.
Speaker 1: I did have a great time. Do you really want
Speaker 1: to hear about it? Yeah? I got plugged and tugged
Speaker 1: from every corner that you can even imagine. I have
Speaker 1: and that has seen too. I just didn't want the
Speaker 1: kids to hear. The rest of that. Scene three comes
Speaker 1: from a damn fine fella who works at I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio name Justin. Justin actually sent me an email asking
Speaker 1: they always run these potential sponsors by me. One was
Speaker 1: about golf and the other was about a stomach medicine
Speaker 1: and I said, I am, I play golf and I
Speaker 1: have stomach issues and they're not exclusive. And he said,
Speaker 1: that's my scene suggestion for algem this, so we have
Speaker 1: a professional golfer has intense stomach issues shortly after starting
Speaker 1: a tournament. From just and up next on the tim
Speaker 1: as he approaches the fourth tea, Uh, Joey Greenstein seems
Speaker 1: to be struggling a little bit just putting the tea
Speaker 1: into the grass. It's one of the most basic components
Speaker 1: of golf. Tim Uh. To not be able to tee
Speaker 1: up your ball means that he is really struggling out there.
Speaker 1: Something is a miss. Let's uh, let's keep an eye
Speaker 1: on that. As he uh always got to tay in
Speaker 1: the grass. Well, that's good. He appears to be selecting
Speaker 1: a seven iron. This is a par five that is
Speaker 1: an unusual choice. Joe Inser Candy, Dude, I don't think
Speaker 1: you should do a seven iron. You're acting a little weird, dude.
Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, it's fine. Hey, hey, if you're not okay, man,
Speaker 1: you can tell me. I'm fine. Okay, I'm fine, and
Speaker 1: you want to go, I want to go. Whatever. Just
Speaker 1: give me a fucking stick. Okay. He's doubling over as
Speaker 1: if he's reeling from a filler up party he attended
Speaker 1: the previous night. Something seems to have filled his stomach,
Speaker 1: that's for certain. Um, perhaps we can get well. Lynda
Speaker 1: mcconky is down on the on the tea and maybe
Speaker 1: we can get an update from her. Linda. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: this to me Lynda mcconky. As you can see, I
Speaker 1: am on the middle of the green and behind me,
Speaker 1: I have the uh number one golfer in the world
Speaker 1: as of last year. Uh. We'll see. He's doubling over
Speaker 1: an absolute pain the whole audience spectators can hear him scream,
Speaker 1: and it appears that he's just wants to get this
Speaker 1: over with. UM. So right now I am being asked
Speaker 1: to step outside of the action here, so I will
Speaker 1: be having to go onto the sidelines. Um. But as
Speaker 1: you guys can see, um, you know he there is
Speaker 1: a whole further away, which is the one he is
Speaker 1: aiming for in the par five course. So, as we
Speaker 1: know with golf, we have a ball that tries to
Speaker 1: get hit into the hole and it seems like our
Speaker 1: star is maybe has maybe fallen from the sky. Um.
Speaker 1: And then are you okay? Why do you watch this?
Speaker 1: It's just so boring. I mean, nothing happens. They hit
Speaker 1: a little ball and it flies around. I don't know
Speaker 1: to stand and I just don't get it. When I
Speaker 1: was younger, I used to play golf. It was like
Speaker 1: the only sport that I ever thought that I could
Speaker 1: actually do that when you were younger, when you a younger,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I could golf just as
Speaker 1: good as I did when I was young. That's the
Speaker 1: beauty of golf. Like, of course, I couldn't play football
Speaker 1: or socco basketball, or jug or or or pole vault,
Speaker 1: but I could definitely play golf, bowling, or pool or
Speaker 1: chest But I'm not smart enough. You're not young anymore, Albert,
Speaker 1: all right, that's not how it works. You gotta stay
Speaker 1: home with me. Tell me, tell me, Martha, what is
Speaker 1: it that I need to do. That's so strong and
Speaker 1: physically fit to play golf. Swing can look at this?
Speaker 1: You can meat number one. Stop eating those steaks. These
Speaker 1: steaks are delicious. Look at this this umbrella. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just hold it like this is a golf club. See,
Speaker 1: I could totally be elbow just popped out of place.
Speaker 1: It's that's I'm doubled. No, I'm not double jointing shit tonight, Dad,
Speaker 1: can I bought a cot tonight? Tell me? You know
Speaker 1: what you got to get a job? Mom? Mom, as
Speaker 1: you told me when I was younger, put a sock
Speaker 1: in it. Your forties, six years old, just still living
Speaker 1: with your parents. What are you gonna get merried? Dad?
Speaker 1: Nothing personal but your wife's so oh, I'm gonna kick
Speaker 1: your ass. Loves box in N two. I could mess you. Hey, Joey,
Speaker 1: I think she's just going to tell but you're not
Speaker 1: doing great? What do you say? Well, I just call it.
Speaker 1: I say, suck my ass, dude. I'm not just candy.
Speaker 1: I'm your friend. Why do I need I need your pants?
Speaker 1: I just filled my pants up. I need your pants. Okay,
Speaker 1: as you guys can see from behind me, they let
Speaker 1: me back on the green here is it looks like
Speaker 1: he is now taking off his pants that are absolutely
Speaker 1: um killed, do not hold back, but I just got
Speaker 1: you guys know, I did get fired from the official
Speaker 1: p g a uh network for my explicit coverage of
Speaker 1: golf events, so I'm trying to hold it back here
Speaker 1: for NBC. But um yeah, So he's switching pants with
Speaker 1: the caddie who has luckily a clean pair, clean bill
Speaker 1: of health on those. Um yeah. So what are you
Speaker 1: guys seeing from ups has to wear Joey's stained pants?
Speaker 1: I would say they're more more than stained. Uh, how
Speaker 1: is that transference gonna work? Yeah? So really good questions.
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like he has to wear the poop
Speaker 1: filled pants. You gotta wear those pants. You got to
Speaker 1: wear those pants. What do you mean, dude? You put
Speaker 1: wear my ship pants? Okay, I want people to not
Speaker 1: know that I shipped my pants. And if anybody guesses,
Speaker 1: they think you did. All right, Hey I told you before.
Speaker 1: I'm not just your caddy and your friend. Oh god,
Speaker 1: see if we can get a mic in that Linda
Speaker 1: to get some of this audio. Okay, that's right, let
Speaker 1: me run up there, Hi, guys, Sorry, big fan. Which
Speaker 1: one second? All right, so you know, do you mind
Speaker 1: taking me to the uh the urgent care the pop
Speaker 1: this back in? Then you can just you can just
Speaker 1: take the car for the night. Yeah, that's fine with me, Dick.
Speaker 1: Come on, let's go a mom, We're gonna go now.
Speaker 1: So why don't you, you know, keep this sound that
Speaker 1: down low. It's all right, we're gonna You're gonna be
Speaker 1: fine there. Alright, you're not taking my car. It's our car.
Speaker 1: It's it's my name, Albert. We pay taxes together. That
Speaker 1: means all of our things are one. Okay, No, how
Speaker 1: about dad, let me help you in the car. Come on,
Speaker 1: get in the car. Than you think put on you see,
Speaker 1: I can't. My elbow is like a Jesus. What's that smell?
Speaker 1: What even doing in here? Then? This is? I mean,
Speaker 1: this is my car, this is your mother's car. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that smell is. That's not me.
Speaker 1: It's not a great smell though, Am I crazy? No,
Speaker 1: it's it's awful elst like I don't know fish feces.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say front and back, but yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: So you have that cute accent and you're a golf
Speaker 1: announcer that's like so hot? Um, well, uh yeah, are
Speaker 1: you Are you a gold fan? Um? I'm a youth fan. God,
Speaker 1: I just said that. Well, let let me get you
Speaker 1: another one. What were you drinking? Um? Try try to,
Speaker 1: you'll drink you try to, can't to get another? Try
Speaker 1: trip for the lady. And you got it. Wow, they
Speaker 1: listen to you and I'll have a New York strip
Speaker 1: in a in a tall glance. So what brings you
Speaker 1: to the tuning? Oh? Oh, I don't know. Um, I
Speaker 1: just love the sport. If I'm being honest, like I'm
Speaker 1: a real what's your third favorite thing about I'd say
Speaker 1: when it goes in mm hmm, when it goes all
Speaker 1: the way in, when you like you're like watching it
Speaker 1: slowly approach and then it's just everyone, everyone on the ground.
Speaker 1: Right now, there she is, there's the officer arrest her circule.
Speaker 1: You're just about to get eaten by the crow herself.
Speaker 1: What you're lucky, You're lucky chasing the serial times almost
Speaker 1: about twelve crows. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Barnes
Speaker 1: and Noble Reading Experience, where we have named authors come
Speaker 1: and reading virtual reality experience this is yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: Today we have Um Arthur reading an excerpt from his
Speaker 1: book I almost sucked twelve crows. It's turmeric. By the way,
Speaker 1: it's not like the spice. You do pronounce the R
Speaker 1: in my name. I almost fucked twelve carols. Please hello,
Speaker 1: author Tmeric Golf announcing now author, it's great to be
Speaker 1: here at the Bonds of Noble Virtual Reality reading experience.
Speaker 1: There's not just like right in front of me, you're
Speaker 1: going to get hit with all five senses? Is me
Speaker 1: reading excerpts from my smells like fish? That's right, I
Speaker 1: had fish. Oh that's just his breath. I have fish
Speaker 1: on my breath. I've eat nothing but fish and chips.
Speaker 1: It gets closer cheese. It's like a fit fish ship itself.
Speaker 1: And now I'm going to open to a random page.
Speaker 1: If I almost fucked twelve crows. Joey, Um, you've been
Speaker 1: doing good man. This is the last hole. It's just
Speaker 1: I sweat out all of my all of my water anymore.
Speaker 1: So you've got Tiger Beat by one stroke. Man, I
Speaker 1: think you can pull us off. Tiger Beat that magazine.
Speaker 1: Look at me, Look at me, look at me, delirious.
Speaker 1: You're delirious. Hey, okay, okay, all right, now what do
Speaker 1: you want? What iron? Do you want? A nine millimeter? What?
Speaker 1: Huh you want? No? No, no, I'm thinking of thinking
Speaker 1: of something really interesting is happening out here. If you
Speaker 1: can see Joey is in the lead, um, and you
Speaker 1: can see stripped totally naked at this point in the game,
Speaker 1: and it looks like he has instead of a golf
Speaker 1: club or you know, a driver putter as most people
Speaker 1: would use here when they're this close to the hole,
Speaker 1: he's pulled out a gun. So, um, this is something
Speaker 1: I've never seen before. But I'm excited. What do you
Speaker 1: guys think? What Linda, you no longer work for us?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how how you're at a fering with
Speaker 1: our signal, but but you're getting in somehow. Uh. This
Speaker 1: this is disturbing you presence here? Thank you. You have
Speaker 1: got to appreciate her determination. Nonetheless, that's right, I've hacked
Speaker 1: into the television waves. My brother went to college for
Speaker 1: computer science and he helped me out. Um. So yeah,
Speaker 1: this is all shot on an iPhone. Joey, Joey, joe
Speaker 1: keep that gun on your mouth, dude, just your one
Speaker 1: put away from winning this whole thing going out of
Speaker 1: your mouth. Oh my tummy. I don't mean, don't look
Speaker 1: at me, but one little put. We're going to fix
Speaker 1: your But maybe okay, maybe winnings and everything, maybe it
Speaker 1: is fixes. But maybe what's important is friends. She's been
Speaker 1: such a good friend to me, was chanting in a whisper. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will, I honestly can't wait till this tournament is
Speaker 1: over so I can go to the bar and find
Speaker 1: a lady to fun. And that's our show for today.
Speaker 1: How about that? That's right, that's how we wrap things
Speaker 1: up here. Oh man, so nice to be back in
Speaker 1: the saddle. I got to tell you. Let's thank all
Speaker 1: the alchemist, shall we? Starting with smiling James Heeney. James,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Where can folks find you in
Speaker 1: your wares Well? Every Wednesday night at eight p m
Speaker 1: Pacific Standard time, you can catch me on Twitch dot
Speaker 1: TV slash bs Comedy. Sure you're gonna stick with that,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I mean we've gone three weeks or something
Speaker 1: and they come back and this hasn't changed. Well, the
Speaker 1: other thing I was gonna say, since we have the moment,
Speaker 1: I wanted to say thank you too. Uh duh, d
Speaker 1: you do? Oh my gosh, I don't have it up.
Speaker 1: I come back to me and I want to say
Speaker 1: thank you for I can't wait to come back to you.
Speaker 1: This has gone so well, Caroline Connor, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: What a joy to see you in the little shelf
Speaker 1: behind you. Yeah, it's a good shell. I'm just covering it, okay, yep,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. Yeah. And what was the frozen
Speaker 1: rabbit's name? Did you give it a name? Nibbles? All right, nibbles? Sorry?
Speaker 1: How could you forget? Apology accepted? Thank you? How could
Speaker 1: I forget? Thank you for being here? We greatly appreciated.
Speaker 1: And where might folks find you? In your wares on
Speaker 1: the inner weeds? Yeah? Unfortunately, I'm on Instagram at cotter
Speaker 1: poop um. I also, and in my effort to be
Speaker 1: more like James, I've started a Twitch show called The
Speaker 1: Ass Carnival once a month, so check it out. I
Speaker 1: don't know, like you said, the ass, the ass like
Speaker 1: the thing on your butt? The thing right, the ass Carnival.
Speaker 1: That's right, because I can. Is there a specific time
Speaker 1: each month? But this occurs? Yeah, but I don't really
Speaker 1: know when in it? You know what I mean, it's
Speaker 1: like we did one, we're doing another. I don't really
Speaker 1: get how the internet or twitch works, so just follow
Speaker 1: it on Twitch and then you can find out from there. Okay, okay, folks,
Speaker 1: look for Twitch dot tv Slash the Ass Carnival. That's right, beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. When we get a review, it makes me
Speaker 1: just feel so good. And this is a five star review.
Speaker 1: It says, look forward to this podcast every Tuesday and Thursday.
Speaker 1: The cast is always great. I listen to this at
Speaker 1: work with wireless earbuds and people think I'm crazy if
Speaker 1: they don't see the earbuds when I bust out laughing
Speaker 1: out of nowhere like a mental patient. Keep doing what
Speaker 1: you're doing, sincerely, Church is Chicken a d Do? That's
Speaker 1: their name, is a d Do. I love the assumption
Speaker 1: that a crazy person is that happy. Um. Thank you
Speaker 1: James for reading that, and to a d Do for
Speaker 1: writing it. And folks, yes, we will encourage you to
Speaker 1: these right reviews on whatever platform you uh you find us. Please.
Speaker 1: Chris Avarado, thank you so much for being thank you.
Speaker 1: Just lunched a brand new podcast yesterday called The Comedy Fix.
Speaker 1: I've already gotten some lovely lovely responses, especially from our alchemy,
Speaker 1: this community, the people, our alchemy that were so sweet
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Comedy Fix check it out wherever
Speaker 1: you get podcasts. We ap peer behind the curtain of
Speaker 1: comedy and performance to see what's what. That is terrific
Speaker 1: and thank you for that. Can folks find more at
Speaker 1: Chris slash Avarado dot com Chris dash Vara dot com.
Speaker 1: Sure or check out our the Instagram at the Comedy Fix.
Speaker 1: At the Comedy Fix look for that Craig Atkowski. I
Speaker 1: just downloaded two episodes of the Comedy Fix. And I
Speaker 1: also spent twenty four hours in North San Diego this
Speaker 1: week and can confirm I saw no crows north. But
Speaker 1: my dog did have her her eye removed successfully which one, Uh, Frankie,
Speaker 1: I meant her left eye. All right. I'll be by
Speaker 1: to teach her from the sidewalk how to do Peter Falk. Great,
Speaker 1: but the surgery went well clearly. Oh it's terrific without
Speaker 1: Crow's help. Uh. And Joey German, Yes, thanks for being bad.
Speaker 1: I know they asked you to film Morrison if you said,
Speaker 1: fuck them, I gotta do this and I appreciate that
Speaker 1: that means a lot, I got, I got it, just
Speaker 1: gotta be here. You can find me at Chris Slash
Speaker 1: Alvarado dot com put a slash instead of a dash.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I got all my stuff there. Check out
Speaker 1: alchemy this Instagram and if you want to see me
Speaker 1: give thank you's out of people who have just allow me.
Speaker 1: You can go to God Bless Chim Chum on Instagram,
Speaker 1: God Bless him Chump on Instagram. All right, let's thank
Speaker 1: our producer, an engineer, the stars, Mr Dougane, the fine
Speaker 1: folks that I heart media. I'm your host Kevin Pollock
Speaker 1: saying I've missed you all. I love reading your missives
Speaker 1: on email form or on the Patreon platform. So thank
Speaker 1: you all for the love and support. Um Man oh
Speaker 1: Man is great to be with my pals again, and
Speaker 1: uh look out for each other out there a little
Speaker 1: bit if you can. Please. Until next time, Hi,