Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the show, Ridiculous Historians. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for tuning in. Shout out to our super producers Casey Pegram,
Speaker 1: our producers Andrew Howard and Max Williams, and a very
Speaker 1: special shout out to my Ride or Die, the one
Speaker 1: and only Noel Brown. Noel, You're back to me. Was
Speaker 1: I gone? You were gone? Yeah? You went on adventures?
Speaker 1: Remember that's right? And who who? Who replaced me? Whilst
Speaker 1: I was away, we had Matt Frederick come in to
Speaker 1: talk about the surprisingly weird story of Europeans being obsessed
Speaker 1: with pointy shoes. The Quister showed up? What other than
Speaker 1: that it was? It was a great time. The Quister
Speaker 1: showed up. He did at the very and Matt thought
Speaker 1: I was joking when I kept saying, stopped saying his name?
Speaker 1: Did did did? Did? Did you guys win? We did?
Speaker 1: We did? Matt carried the day. Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: so okay. I was worried there for not that I
Speaker 1: doubted you for a second, but it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: this is my first absentee Quister appearance. We got a
Speaker 1: lot writing on the ongoing Quister competition folks. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think Matt made us proud. He sent his regards
Speaker 1: as though we don't already hang out four times, it's true,
Speaker 1: it's true. And then I guess you had what did
Speaker 1: Jeff Eves? Yes, Eaves, Jeff cow that's on an episode
Speaker 1: that's gonna come out later this week. You know we're
Speaker 1: big fans of Eaves and her work. We also are
Speaker 1: going to have her this Thursday, as you're hearing this,
Speaker 1: We're gonna have her join us for a deep dive
Speaker 1: into the strange and troubling history of turpentine. No spoiler. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: but what are you talking about today, Ben, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: I know what we're talking about. We're talking about a
Speaker 1: race from New York to Paris, and it took place
Speaker 1: at night and was apparently quite perilous. Yes, yes, and
Speaker 1: some people will end up Paris less. That's terrible because
Speaker 1: they weren't able to make it. Yeah, this is this
Speaker 1: is something that I've always been fascinated by. We covered
Speaker 1: it years ago on Car Stuff. The idea of the
Speaker 1: thing is quite ambitious, if not audacious. You might have
Speaker 1: noticed distute listeners that Noel just said New York to Paris,
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, hey, I have a passing knowledge of geography.
Speaker 1: There's some oceans in the way. Yep, I was thinking
Speaker 1: the same thing, and my my knowledge of geography is
Speaker 1: barely passing the same too. So the New York to
Speaker 1: Paris auto race was sponsored by the New York Times
Speaker 1: and French paper Leab Maltin. The prize was a The
Speaker 1: prize is weird, man. What you get if you win
Speaker 1: the race is a four hundred pound trophy and the
Speaker 1: satisfaction that you have proven it can be done. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's not that's sort of like getting a
Speaker 1: homework assignment as a prize. You gotta build a special
Speaker 1: cabinet for that thing, right or does it live somewhere else?
Speaker 1: Does it live in some sort of hall of fame.
Speaker 1: I don't know how trophies work, Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: guess it's uh, it's powerful as a symbol. But that's
Speaker 1: a really good point you make. Where do you put
Speaker 1: a four hundred pound trophy? So, I mean, we have
Speaker 1: okay houses, but we don't have houses prepped for fourteen
Speaker 1: hundred pound trophies. But anyway, this this race is actually
Speaker 1: coming in the wake of another race that happened the
Speaker 1: year before in nineteen o seven, what was called the
Speaker 1: Peking to Paris Auto race, was the first of its kind.
Speaker 1: Because we have to remember automotive technology is still relatively new,
Speaker 1: so this is almost like drone racing was a few
Speaker 1: years ago. But this is across continents totally, and let's
Speaker 1: not forget I mean, you know, auto racing has come
Speaker 1: a long way today. NASCAR is you know, billions and
Speaker 1: billions of dollars worth of industry. But a car racing though,
Speaker 1: in general, has a really interesting history because so much
Speaker 1: of it was done before, like the safeguards were really
Speaker 1: in place, so the technology was even really up to speed,
Speaker 1: pun totally intended in terms of, like, you know, ensuring
Speaker 1: people's safety. We had like what is it the Laman
Speaker 1: race where people were literally getting hit by you know,
Speaker 1: exploding car shrapnel on the sidelines. Yeah, twenty four hours
Speaker 1: of Laman, an endurance race that continues in the modern day,
Speaker 1: although like many things, it was postponed recently due to
Speaker 1: the pandemic. So that first test, that first race seven
Speaker 1: really was kind of a proof of concept, and the
Speaker 1: purpose of the nineteen o eight race was at least
Speaker 1: in part a PR move. They wanted to persuade people
Speaker 1: that cars were reliable, that they weren't just fragile new gadgets, right,
Speaker 1: they were rugged and they could, you know, go on adventures. Um,
Speaker 1: so if that's exactly right, man. It was essentially a
Speaker 1: very elaborate and arduous PR stunt. Since cars were so new,
Speaker 1: the infrastructure for roadways and interstates and the like, we're
Speaker 1: not really in place yet, and this would kind of
Speaker 1: hopefully serve as a means of convincing the powers that
Speaker 1: be then this this is here to stay, this new
Speaker 1: fangled automobile. And well, as we'll learn in today's episode,
Speaker 1: these folks were not driving on the cow in the
Speaker 1: roads you would drive on in the modern day. They
Speaker 1: definitely went through some stuff. So, yeah, you're right, this
Speaker 1: is PR. This is trying to stimulate interest and investment
Speaker 1: in cars and everything that cars need to go. The
Speaker 1: New York to Paris Auto Race was supposed to be
Speaker 1: the greatest of the great races, and our our kickoff
Speaker 1: starts on February twelve, morning of February twelve, nineteen o eight,
Speaker 1: in Times Square, New York City. There's seventeen people in total.
Speaker 1: This includes drivers, mechanics and journalists, and they all kind
Speaker 1: of clown car themselves into six cars from four different countries.
Speaker 1: Three of them are for France, one each is from Germany, Italy,
Speaker 1: and the United States. And these car manufacturers or models
Speaker 1: don't feel like most of these have stood the test
Speaker 1: of time. Been correct me if I'm wrong, But I
Speaker 1: have not heard of a De Dion Bouton or a
Speaker 1: moto Block or a cesare nod In or a Zoost
Speaker 1: from Italy. I love that great name for a car,
Speaker 1: or a pro Tost. I am not. The Thomas Flyer
Speaker 1: somewhat rings a bell, but I feel like that was
Speaker 1: one that got phased out to Ben What do you think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so the Thomas Flyer Company. You're right, a lot several
Speaker 1: of these are not around anymore. Thomas Motor Company is
Speaker 1: also no longer around. They only made They had a
Speaker 1: pretty short time span. They made bikes and motorcycles and
Speaker 1: autos just from nineteen hundred to nineteen nineteen. And this
Speaker 1: happens a lot with industries. You know, when something first
Speaker 1: emerges into the public sphere, you'll see a ton of competitors,
Speaker 1: and then later they kind of like narrowed down right.
Speaker 1: I always think about that when I read old soda
Speaker 1: ads and there's so many unfamiliar things. They will trying
Speaker 1: everything totally in the old days of soda. I did
Speaker 1: look up Dead Dion Bhutan Gosh. I wish super was
Speaker 1: here with our French but it is a defunct company
Speaker 1: and it's really interesting. The most popular vehicle they ever
Speaker 1: made was something called the De Dion Bouton tricycle, and
Speaker 1: it was essentially it looks in profile like a motorcycle,
Speaker 1: like I'm like a small motorbike, but then you realize
Speaker 1: it's got two wheels on the back. And between eight
Speaker 1: and nineteen o one they apparently sold over fifteen thousand
Speaker 1: of these, so they were pretty well known at the time.
Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about these teams and
Speaker 1: well we can group them by country. So first the Americans,
Speaker 1: there are Thomas guys, right, that's right. The Thomas car
Speaker 1: was built by the Thomas Motor Company and it was
Speaker 1: a model thirty five seven model has a four cylinder
Speaker 1: sixty horsepower engine and it can reach a whopping peak
Speaker 1: speed of sixty miles per hour, which is, you know,
Speaker 1: no one should ever have to drive faster than sixty
Speaker 1: miles per hour. Slow down, speed demons, you crazy Atlanta
Speaker 1: drivers passing on the right anyway, Sorry, I was triggered. Um.
Speaker 1: It was like again, like this bespoke fully loaded for
Speaker 1: the time, which included built in spaces to hold two shovels,
Speaker 1: two picks, two lanterns, and eight searchlights, and also some
Speaker 1: extra gas cans which would give it a capacity of
Speaker 1: a hundred and twenty five gallons. I would be important
Speaker 1: on a long haul race like this. And there's more, right,
Speaker 1: but yeah, five hundred feet of rope as well as
Speaker 1: a rifle and revolvers. It also had this top you
Speaker 1: could attach to it, kind of like what you would
Speaker 1: see on covered wagons. It could wrap over the entire
Speaker 1: car and turn it into turn into a tent. Basically
Speaker 1: you could camp in it. The driver of this vehicle
Speaker 1: was going to be twenty four year old Montague Roberts.
Speaker 1: He had some qualifications. He had just won the twenty
Speaker 1: four hour Endurance Derby at Brighton Beach in the same
Speaker 1: car just a year ago. And along with him came
Speaker 1: Joey George Schuster, who is a mechanic from Thomas and
Speaker 1: then another mechanic named George Miller and a reporter from
Speaker 1: the Times. Each of the cars had a similar sort
Speaker 1: of team with them, like a driver, mechanics journalist. Next
Speaker 1: we have the French team consisting of g. Bossier de
Speaker 1: san Chaffin. I think that's right. He was driving the
Speaker 1: French de Dion and he was actually someone who comes
Speaker 1: from a background in motor boat racing. He once participated
Speaker 1: in a race from Marseilles to Algiers that involved every
Speaker 1: single boat in the race sinking into the Mediterranean. His
Speaker 1: captain in that race was a guy by the name
Speaker 1: of Hans Hendrick Hansen, who is referred to in a
Speaker 1: fabulous article from Weirder Story and as a swashbuckling Norwegian um.
Speaker 1: And he, you know, seemed to have a pretty big
Speaker 1: opinion of himself and told some stories that could have
Speaker 1: perhaps involved a little bit of creative license. Let's say,
Speaker 1: claimed to have sailed a Viking ship by himself to
Speaker 1: the North Pole. I don't think we have anything to
Speaker 1: confirm this, but he told a good tale. And he
Speaker 1: said that he and his companions will be able to
Speaker 1: reach Paris quote or our bodies will be found inside
Speaker 1: the car high stakes. Yeah very much so. Charles Goodar
Speaker 1: was driving the Motto Block the other vehicle and the
Speaker 1: French team, and he was actually a competitor. And that
Speaker 1: other crazy race you mentioned men the Peeking to Paris race,
Speaker 1: and he participated in that race without ever having driven
Speaker 1: a car before. It's a brave new world, truly a
Speaker 1: new frontier. And he apparently set an endurance record by
Speaker 1: driving all by himself for twenty four hours NonStop. Very unsafe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't do it, that's that's dangerous. Wait until they are
Speaker 1: more autonomous cars on the market. So let's look at
Speaker 1: the Italians. If this is a film, when we're panning
Speaker 1: over to the Italians, we will see Emilio's ser Tory,
Speaker 1: who the driver for the just and along with him
Speaker 1: we'll see this is weird. We'll see a twenty one
Speaker 1: year old lad, a journalist and poet named Antonio Scarfoglio.
Speaker 1: And Tonio is interesting because he almost didn't get in
Speaker 1: the race. He was in a fight with his dad
Speaker 1: about it. His dad was a well to do newspaper
Speaker 1: editor in Naples, and he eventually said, look, pop, I'm
Speaker 1: going to steal a boat and I'm gonna go across
Speaker 1: the Atlantic on my own. If if you don't agree
Speaker 1: to let me go in this race, and so his
Speaker 1: dad ponied up and as we imagine, probably paid his
Speaker 1: passage to get to New York. And then we've got
Speaker 1: to finish out the teams. We've got the Germans. They
Speaker 1: were driving the Protasts and they were German. One of
Speaker 1: them was a German aristocrat, Hans Kopin, and he was
Speaker 1: in it. This is almost like anime, you know, they're
Speaker 1: weird motivations. So Coping doesn't really care about the trophy.
Speaker 1: He thinks that if he does well in this race,
Speaker 1: he can get promoted from lieutenant to captain, which is weird.
Speaker 1: We don't know how promotions the German Army work, but
Speaker 1: your performance in an auto race is not a huge
Speaker 1: factor in your promotion in the U. S. Army. One
Speaker 1: would not think that would be the case in the
Speaker 1: German Army either, but you know, he seemed to think
Speaker 1: it might. Who knows, But you're right then. I love
Speaker 1: this rag tag gang of weird miscreants with backstories and
Speaker 1: crazy claims about piloting Viking ships and such. This is great.
Speaker 1: I gotta say that the German car, the Protos, sounds
Speaker 1: more Italian and the Italian car. The zowis sounds more German.
Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing, isn't it funny? I
Speaker 1: don't know what the deal is with that? But okay,
Speaker 1: so we know we set out from the start that
Speaker 1: this is a perilous journey, and that ends up not
Speaker 1: be in behalf of it. A quarter of a million
Speaker 1: people lined up on Broadway in New York's Times Square
Speaker 1: all the way up to Harlem, which, if you know,
Speaker 1: if you have a passing knowledge of New York geography,
Speaker 1: which I barely do, you know, that's quite a way.
Speaker 1: That's quite a line of people. The race was supposed
Speaker 1: to start at eleven am of the mayor at the time,
Speaker 1: George B. McClellan Jr. Who was the son of a
Speaker 1: Civil War general Union general, to be clear, was supposed
Speaker 1: to shoot off the starting pistol, but he was late,
Speaker 1: which apparently was his way, that was his vibe. He
Speaker 1: was one of those people who moves to their own clock.
Speaker 1: But they've got stuff to do. This is a big deal.
Speaker 1: So about fifteen minutes later, a railroad financier with a
Speaker 1: weird name, Colgate Hoyt, says, you know enough of this,
Speaker 1: and he snatches the gun, the golden gun by the
Speaker 1: way from the table, shoots it into the air and boom,
Speaker 1: They're off. The cars are moving forward. Our Italian poet
Speaker 1: Scarfoglio says between the thick hedges of extended hands amidst
Speaker 1: the roar as of a falling torret, and he's loving it.
Speaker 1: He blows a kiss to the crowd because he has
Speaker 1: no idea how weird this stuff is about to get. Like.
Speaker 1: The beginning of their journey, I would say is much
Speaker 1: less hazardous than the later legs of the journey. Their
Speaker 1: route is supposed to take them across the US. They
Speaker 1: are going to go in areas with very few paved roads,
Speaker 1: and then they're going to head north through Canada. They're
Speaker 1: going to take a left at Alaska and then they
Speaker 1: have to cross the Bearing Straight. And the organizers of
Speaker 1: the race, we're making what I think is a really
Speaker 1: risky bet, dude. They said, okay, because we're starting the
Speaker 1: race in the middle of winter, hopefully the straight will
Speaker 1: be frozen like solid enough to drive a bunch of
Speaker 1: cars across. Right. Yikes. I gotta say that the idea
Speaker 1: of taking a left at Alaska I find hilarious that
Speaker 1: reminds me of that bugs Bunny thing where he's always like, gosh,
Speaker 1: that made that left turn at Albuquerque. You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's maybe that's where it comes from. So, as reported
Speaker 1: by the Smithsonian mag in a fantastic article on the race,
Speaker 1: assuming they successfully crossed the Bearing straight, they're going to
Speaker 1: go through Siberia. No one at all ever at this
Speaker 1: point in history has taken a car through Siberia. And then,
Speaker 1: presuming everyone survives, they go to the final stretch, they'll
Speaker 1: hip Moscow St. Petersburg, then Berlin, and then Paris. So overall,
Speaker 1: this is twenty two thousand miles. And this is again
Speaker 1: at a time where anyone in the world, the average person,
Speaker 1: if you asked them what was more reliable a car
Speaker 1: or a horse, it would on beyond team horse totally.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think every pretty much knows this. But
Speaker 1: the you know, cars in their early days were referred
Speaker 1: to as horseless carriages because they were kind of seen
Speaker 1: as a novelty almost you know, yep, exactly, and winter
Speaker 1: was a punishing time to have this sort of race.
Speaker 1: Uh you know, these vehicles, we have one that had
Speaker 1: the removable, attachable top, but the vehicles for the most
Speaker 1: part had open tops, they didn't have wind shields, they
Speaker 1: didn't have heaters. There was gonna be a level of
Speaker 1: attrition here. August Palens, who was driving the French Cesaire Nardine,
Speaker 1: didn't talk about too much. Here's why we didn't talk
Speaker 1: about it too much. He got about nineties six miles
Speaker 1: into this mile race and he had mechanical problems and
Speaker 1: broken differential, so that put him out of the running.
Speaker 1: And then the leaders of the race become the De Dion,
Speaker 1: the Zeus and the Tootmas Flyer go Us and the
Speaker 1: other two were in the rear, the Protos and the
Speaker 1: motor Block. That's right. So they get to Hudson, New
Speaker 1: York and have to literally plow through feet deep snow
Speaker 1: in a line. And the thing is, some of these
Speaker 1: cars were all they all had varying levels of like, uh,
Speaker 1: let's just call it accessories, right, Like we know that
Speaker 1: the Thomas Flyer, I believe was equipped with tons of
Speaker 1: rope and you know, lanterns and extra gas, but it
Speaker 1: didn't have a heater or a windshield. And to check
Speaker 1: how deep the snow was they had to use the
Speaker 1: most rudimentary tool of them all still holds up today,
Speaker 1: the stick, the noble stick, needs to check the depth
Speaker 1: of the snow to see how far they could go
Speaker 1: without getting stuck. Yeah, and then things continue to get worse.
Speaker 1: So it would be more appropriate, perhaps to describe the
Speaker 1: road out of Auburn as a trail. In fact, the
Speaker 1: New York Times described it as the worst road in
Speaker 1: the United States, and they were not fooling around when
Speaker 1: they said that three cars ended up getting stuck at
Speaker 1: a place with the unfortunate name of Dismal Hollow in
Speaker 1: the Montezuma Swamp. Eventually, you know, the guys who were stuck,
Speaker 1: they said, and this is going to happen a couple
Speaker 1: of times in the race. The guys who were stuck said,
Speaker 1: all right, we're just going to camp for the night.
Speaker 1: We'll figure this out in the morning. But luckily the
Speaker 1: Italians had hired this American guide and he was able
Speaker 1: to get help from the locals. He came through with
Speaker 1: six horses to pull the cars out right. And I,
Speaker 1: like you said, Ben, this isn't the only time this happens.
Speaker 1: And to me, this is an absolute pr nightmare because
Speaker 1: it's showing that cars are inferior to horses. In my opinion. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that horses are winning the race kind of exactly. But
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, though, the problems were
Speaker 1: not with the cars themselves but with the terrain, and
Speaker 1: they weren't suited for the cars. Again, part of the
Speaker 1: point of this race was to encourage investment in better
Speaker 1: infrastructure and roadways. Yeah, totally, you know it might have
Speaker 1: been Would it have been smarter to have a less
Speaker 1: ambitious race during a less punishing time of the year, maybe,
Speaker 1: But that's not the look they were going for. So
Speaker 1: the teams settle into a routine, because this is a
Speaker 1: very long race. They get up at five, they drive
Speaker 1: all day. They call it a night at eight pm,
Speaker 1: at least the drivers do, but the mechanics stay up
Speaker 1: until at least midnight working to keep these things running.
Speaker 1: They drained the radiators every night to keep them from freezing.
Speaker 1: They work to repair cracks in the chassis, and then
Speaker 1: they would always hit up hardware stores because they have
Speaker 1: to buy gas and there aren't a ton of gas
Speaker 1: stations around, so they get gas like by the bucket
Speaker 1: from hardware stores. And then they form like this um
Speaker 1: cold war esque agreement where they say, okay, we're gonna
Speaker 1: alternate who gets to be in the lead every five
Speaker 1: hours because we're still very far away from Paris. So
Speaker 1: we're just gonna have a gentleman's agreement. Yeah, these are
Speaker 1: these competitors were nothing if not gentlemen, right right, And
Speaker 1: one guy is literally in aristocrat. So this is an
Speaker 1: important issue because they're being judged on hours total hours spent,
Speaker 1: and they had convinced themselves that something as small as
Speaker 1: one or two hours could make a difference in this
Speaker 1: race that was going to go for six months. So
Speaker 1: they were also concerned there were trust issues there. They
Speaker 1: were concerned that, you know, one unscrupulous team might pretend
Speaker 1: to go to sleep when everybody else did, and it
Speaker 1: might take off in the middle of the night to
Speaker 1: get a lead. So one of the Europeans is starting
Speaker 1: to get a little big for their bridges and they
Speaker 1: they say to the other other racers, they say, if
Speaker 1: you want to go into a city ahead, you ask me.
Speaker 1: That's what he says, specifically to the American team, and
Speaker 1: Roberts replies, all right, from now on, you will know
Speaker 1: this is a race, which is like, in other words,
Speaker 1: all bets are off. Screw you, buddy, exactly and they
Speaker 1: were surprise, folks. The relationship does not get better as
Speaker 1: the continues. Nope, they they head into the Midwest. At
Speaker 1: this point, the Italians have gone so far as to
Speaker 1: accuse the Americans of cheating by using railroad tracks and
Speaker 1: somehow the aid of a trolley car. How does that
Speaker 1: even work? Yeah, the idea would be, you know, if
Speaker 1: you think about it, the idea here is is fairly plausible.
Speaker 1: Railroad tracks are the best infrastructure at the time for transport.
Speaker 1: So they're they're thinking, these Americans are gonna put their
Speaker 1: car on a trolley car in a train car, and
Speaker 1: then they're gonna zip along the train tracks. They'll be
Speaker 1: much faster because you know, the rails are better than
Speaker 1: the roads. At this point, and then some of the
Speaker 1: foreign competitors looked down their nose at the rural American locals. Scarfoglio,
Speaker 1: our poet, says, I do not like the Americans as
Speaker 1: a whole, just as I do not like the cheesemonger
Speaker 1: whom a prize in a lottery or a sudden rise
Speaker 1: in the price of potatoes has made well thing. There's
Speaker 1: still too much of the herdsman about them. Snoot e
Speaker 1: so then into Indiana. The Moto Block and the Protos
Speaker 1: teams were getting super cranky because they had to pay
Speaker 1: a bunch of money to get help, you know, from
Speaker 1: these guides or whatever who would use horses to help,
Speaker 1: you know, haul them through this tough terrain. They were
Speaker 1: angry specifically though, at the American team who were getting
Speaker 1: tons of free help from Indiana people. Indiana. It's I
Speaker 1: think it's what you call it. Never understood that. What's
Speaker 1: that movie about anyway? Basketball? I guess um, I do
Speaker 1: like Geene Hackman though, but they are the European team.
Speaker 1: The Moto Block and the Protos teams sent a urgent
Speaker 1: plea for assistance to the head of the Chicago Automobile Club,
Speaker 1: which the Chicago Tribune graciously printed under the headline Foreigners
Speaker 1: pathetic appeal. There's a lot, that's the thing. There is
Speaker 1: a lot of nationalism lait on here. And I think
Speaker 1: this plays, you know, this plays into the tarantino esque
Speaker 1: aspect of this because I can I can totally see
Speaker 1: that guy having a lot of fun with some stereotypes
Speaker 1: of yesteryear. So the note says, it's so weird, such
Speaker 1: a snarky thing to do, But the note says, uh,
Speaker 1: we're discouraged. The peasants demand three dollars per mile for
Speaker 1: helping us. They charged five dollars each to permit us
Speaker 1: to sleep on the ground. Peasants along the way of
Speaker 1: filled up road dug by leading cars so as to
Speaker 1: help the Thomas car. Would it be possible to influence
Speaker 1: public opinion to aid us? And the Tribune clearly not
Speaker 1: just said no, but they went an extra mile. So
Speaker 1: by March eight, the Thomas flyers in the lead in Julesburg, Colorado,
Speaker 1: and they've picked up a new passenger, Hans Hendrake Hansen.
Speaker 1: You had just mentioned earlier Noll, that swashbuckling Norwegian. He
Speaker 1: had quit the st Chaffe team after their car, the Didayon,
Speaker 1: got stuck in a snow drift. And you know he's
Speaker 1: supposed to be like the Viking do the expert on
Speaker 1: all things Arctic. He is not able to extricate the vehicle,
Speaker 1: and so he starts arguing with the team leader, and
Speaker 1: they agree to settle the matter in the most mature
Speaker 1: way possible with a duel, And so they go off
Speaker 1: to find their guns. While they're off looking for their guns,
Speaker 1: uh St Schaffrey says, you know what, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: fire you instead, and Hansen says, you know what, I
Speaker 1: could go on foot over the Siberian Route and still
Speaker 1: beat your car. So I'm with the American stuff. Love
Speaker 1: it so much snark, so much petty squabbling. But again
Speaker 1: the stakes are pretty high, you know. It's the pack
Speaker 1: has really thinned out, and everyone's kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: in it to win it. So now we need to
Speaker 1: account for the Zeost, which is the Italian team with
Speaker 1: a German sounding car name, got it. They are in
Speaker 1: Omaha at this point, and the Deadillon is in Cedar Rapids, Iowa,
Speaker 1: and the Motto block is in Maple Park, Illinois, while
Speaker 1: the Protost is uh bringing up the rear in Geneva, Illinois. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the Thomas Flyer is approaching frenzied crowds in Cheyenne, Wyoming,
Speaker 1: and it's you know, and just picture the scene U
Speaker 1: s A, U s A something like that is going down.
Speaker 1: Roberts knows that his time in the race is nearing
Speaker 1: the end. He wanted to sail to Paris in May
Speaker 1: and race in the Grand Prix, which was you know,
Speaker 1: more established race. So e Lynn Matthewson, who is the
Speaker 1: son of Like, the general agent for Thomas Cars in
Speaker 1: the Midwest region. They pick him to drive the Thomas
Speaker 1: Flyer from Wyoming to Utah, and from there a professional
Speaker 1: driver named Harold Brinker is going to take the wheel.
Speaker 1: Brinker is famous because he survived a crash the year
Speaker 1: earlier that had killed another driver. So George Schuster is
Speaker 1: still along for the ride. He's going to drive through
Speaker 1: Alaska in Siberia, and then Roberts is supposed to return
Speaker 1: when the car nearest Europe, which is later going to
Speaker 1: be a sticking point for both of those guys. By
Speaker 1: the time the Americans leave Wyoming, things are looking pretty good.
Speaker 1: They are ahead by two entire states. The Italians are
Speaker 1: starting across Nebraska, the French are in Iowa awaiting parts
Speaker 1: for their car, and the German team Lieutenant Copen in
Speaker 1: the Protoce and Charles Goddard in the Moto Block. Those
Speaker 1: two groups are just now entering Iowa and the Moto
Speaker 1: block is having mechanical difficulties and Goddard won't talk about it. Instead,
Speaker 1: he breaks the rules. He ships his car to San
Speaker 1: Francisco by railroad. That's what he tries to do, but
Speaker 1: a journalist, the photographer, catches him in the act, so
Speaker 1: he gives up and he gets a message from the
Speaker 1: owners of the car. It says, simply quit race, sell car,
Speaker 1: come home. So the modal block is finished. Now we've
Speaker 1: gone from six to four cars. Okay, then stuff and
Speaker 1: things booms it there we go. Yes, there are a
Speaker 1: lot of blow by blows of the race we can
Speaker 1: give you, but we're we wanted to stick to some
Speaker 1: of the real pivotal moments. On Wednesday, April eight, Thomas
Speaker 1: Flyer reaches Alaska. The entire population of a town called
Speaker 1: Valdez is out to see that this arrival, because very
Speaker 1: few of them have ever seen a car in real life.
Speaker 1: Schuster immediately starts trying to figure out how they're gonna
Speaker 1: cross Alaska in a car. So he takes a slay,
Speaker 1: a literal slay, out and explores the area. He comes
Speaker 1: back and he says, Okay, here's what we have to do.
Speaker 1: We have to take our car apart and we have
Speaker 1: to put it piece by piece on dog sleds as
Speaker 1: the only way we're getting across Alaska. So we're not
Speaker 1: atually driving across Alaska. No no, they're literally now and
Speaker 1: like these improvised car sled situations. Uh, glad to have
Speaker 1: been a thing to behold. There's so much ingenuity in
Speaker 1: this race. I gotta say, you know, I appreciate that
Speaker 1: because it really is a situation that no car, modern
Speaker 1: cars even would be able to navigate, let alone these
Speaker 1: like super early much less resilient cars. I would I
Speaker 1: would say, yeah, this is a really good point. So
Speaker 1: the committee for the race over in Paris they hear
Speaker 1: about this, and they go, all right, maybe we were
Speaker 1: being a little cartoonish what we say. You could drive
Speaker 1: across the Burying Strait. You guys, do this turn around,
Speaker 1: go back to Seattle, and we're gonna have you sailed
Speaker 1: to Vlad of the Stock and drive to Paris from there.
Speaker 1: This is still you know, it's still a race. So
Speaker 1: the Americans are sailing first, and while they're at sea,
Speaker 1: their competitors arrive in Seattle, and then they also set
Speaker 1: sale for Russia. But the Americans lose time because there's
Speaker 1: still you know, an international travel system and they have
Speaker 1: to figure out how to get their visas in order. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you think they would have thought about that in advance, right,
Speaker 1: you would yeah, or that the like you know, organizers
Speaker 1: of the race would have helped secure all of that
Speaker 1: stuff for them, you know what I mean. It just
Speaker 1: seems like oops, forgot about international travel. How I need, like,
Speaker 1: you know, certain crucial documents and all that. But um,
Speaker 1: the Italian and French teams at this point, we're making
Speaker 1: their way across Japan, and that is when the race committee,
Speaker 1: in their infinite wisdom, made another decision that would affect
Speaker 1: the fate of these four teams, and this was to
Speaker 1: recognize the time that the flyer car lost when it
Speaker 1: was making that detour through Alaska. The American team was
Speaker 1: given an allowance of fifteen days, which I guess is
Speaker 1: like a credit right back on their score a fifteen days, yeah,
Speaker 1: because they were kind of getting pun for being the
Speaker 1: honors student. So they since they were the first to
Speaker 1: arrive in Alaska, they were the first to prove it
Speaker 1: was a dumb idea, and so across everyone else benefited
Speaker 1: from it, right which everyone else benefited. They just had
Speaker 1: to go to Seattle at this point. So it's weird though,
Speaker 1: adding this fifteen days. It's kind of controversial because it
Speaker 1: means that the zoost and the di Dione can beat
Speaker 1: the flyer into Paris, they can get there two weeks earlier,
Speaker 1: and because of that fifteen day allowance, they would still lose.
Speaker 1: And the Protos on the other side of the spectrum
Speaker 1: are going to be penalized fifteen days for resorting to
Speaker 1: using the train from Ogden to Seattle. They didn't disqualify
Speaker 1: the Germans entirely because they said it looks like he
Speaker 1: was just genuinely, honestly confused about the rules, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't trying to cheat. I think the the racing committee
Speaker 1: seemed genuinely and honestly confused. I think there was a
Speaker 1: lot of genuine and honest confusion to be had all around,
Speaker 1: and this eventually turns into genuine and honest blackmail that
Speaker 1: ultimately costs the French team the race. Once the Americans
Speaker 1: caught up to the others in Vladivostok, that's where the
Speaker 1: last French driver, that aristocrat I believe we were talking about, right,
Speaker 1: sent San Chaffre or was that they all sound like
Speaker 1: aristocrats to me? He apparently had this sounds like a
Speaker 1: pretty aristocratic thing to do. Bought up all the gas,
Speaker 1: all of it in the area, and was like offering
Speaker 1: it two teams in exchange for taking him on. That's
Speaker 1: so crazy, yeah, he and he's he's honest about this.
Speaker 1: He says, there is no petrol, there are no means
Speaker 1: of getting any What there was is in my possession.
Speaker 1: Offer it to the car which we agreed to take
Speaker 1: me on board. Exactly, Yeah, devious. Yeah. So the Italian ends,
Speaker 1: uh where like, man, you suck, you are a psychopath. Uh,
Speaker 1: leave us alone, and they stormed out San Chaffray. He
Speaker 1: tried his best to wield his you know, supervillain like
Speaker 1: cunning against the Americans. He said that he could get
Speaker 1: a seat on the German car easily, but the flyer
Speaker 1: was sort of in a position to beat the Protos
Speaker 1: into Paris, and he would prefer to be on the
Speaker 1: first car to arrive. This guy holy cow. And he
Speaker 1: said to the Americans it would not look well for
Speaker 1: a Frenchman to ride on a gentleman machine. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: So he was like, you know, these are the reasons
Speaker 1: that I don't want to go with the Germans. I
Speaker 1: want to go with you. You're the winners. Please take
Speaker 1: de bait of my gas blackmail? Yes, yeah, gas blackmail. Oh,
Speaker 1: how to win friends and influenced people. So Schuster privately
Speaker 1: or mechanic told his US team, Look, I'd rather stay
Speaker 1: in vladivol Stock for the rest of my life and
Speaker 1: accept this weird French dude's bribe. So Sunsfre transfers the
Speaker 1: rights to his gas to the Italian team, but they
Speaker 1: still don't let him join their squad. So as sponsor
Speaker 1: st Chaffey's sponsor pulls him from the race, he has out.
Speaker 1: And that means that the racers who are still around
Speaker 1: are pushing across the thawing tundra of Siberia and Manchuria
Speaker 1: and into the wild expanse of Russia. The Germans are leading,
Speaker 1: the Americans are in second, and the Italians are lagging
Speaker 1: thousands of miles in the rear knoll. We have a
Speaker 1: plot twist of our own for the rest of the story,
Speaker 1: don't we boy? Do we ever hold onto your hats, folks,
Speaker 1: We're about to enter the stunning world of three D audio.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy, we're doing it. We're doing it. Headphones recommended.
Speaker 1: So here's the rest of the race. Oh heay, nol.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this. This, This is the part that
Speaker 1: we were very excited about backstage, backstage, back in the
Speaker 1: green room. Yes, and by the craft services table, prey
Speaker 1: with our mountains and are this is crazy? We are
Speaker 1: back in the office for the first time, I know
Speaker 1: and an MP. We're back in the office, bopped our
Speaker 1: way from our homes. Are our separate homes into the
Speaker 1: office in the course of a single episode through the
Speaker 1: magic of podcast. Yes, and we are with uh your
Speaker 1: daughter eating is her our ride died? Matt Frederick is
Speaker 1: very patiently uh, sitting with us outside and we're not
Speaker 1: just This part of the episode is so is so weird.
Speaker 1: It's the it's the climax of our race. We decided
Speaker 1: we're not just going to record in regulars out so
Speaker 1: at this point, ridiculous historians, we asked that you put
Speaker 1: on your three D headphones. We're just kidding. That's not
Speaker 1: a thing. But this part, the stunning conclusion to the
Speaker 1: perilous New York to Paris auto race of is presented
Speaker 1: to you in three D w W. That's the howth
Speaker 1: three the audio works. I'm behind you now and I'm
Speaker 1: in front of you. Well, I like that one there.
Speaker 1: So here's what happened, Here's why we wanted to really
Speaker 1: put you in the moment here. So the Siberia portion
Speaker 1: of the race is really testing the limits of these drivers.
Speaker 1: This is a long race, as we said, it's the
Speaker 1: early nineteen hundreds. Driving in like just the US can
Speaker 1: be tough in rural areas, It's true, Ben, And I'm
Speaker 1: sure I'm sure our past selves or future selves who
Speaker 1: have done the part of the episode leading up to this,
Speaker 1: have mentioned at least once the Great American North American
Speaker 1: Road Rally that you and I participated in way back when.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, that's right. Good job, future or
Speaker 1: past us. Indeed, and from that experience, I think, and
Speaker 1: just for I was driving around in Atlanta, we all
Speaker 1: know that that road conditions, very mileage may vary. Um.
Speaker 1: And in this particular stretch of the race, the fifty
Speaker 1: from Vlada Vostok near Lorenzov on the coast, um, there
Speaker 1: were absolute hardships. Is how it's described in the Weird
Speaker 1: Historian article that we've been referencing. Um. There it was
Speaker 1: very slow going. Uh. There were lots of descents, steep climbs, um,
Speaker 1: you know, amidst these cliffs. Uh. And then when the
Speaker 1: ground started to level off, you get into this like
Speaker 1: swampy terrain that can really it's like the part of
Speaker 1: Mario Kart where we can go like into the grass.
Speaker 1: It slows you down a little bit, only on a
Speaker 1: much larger scale, and like with real steaks, not just
Speaker 1: you know, glory and and winning that that coveted those
Speaker 1: coveted stars. We are big Mario Kart fans, by the way,
Speaker 1: and there have been friendships made and lost in in
Speaker 1: Mario Kart games of plenty. But I love that comparison
Speaker 1: toll because this this is true. The Sunday Times in
Speaker 1: April nineteen nineteen o eight actually said when they were
Speaker 1: talking about Vladivostok, they said everything has been thought of
Speaker 1: there except for roads. So it's weird that that's where
Speaker 1: they would end up racing. At one point, it took
Speaker 1: the Thomas car four days to Mario Kart its way
Speaker 1: through just what sixty miles? Mud, Yeah, I'll tell you roads,
Speaker 1: Ben and flat Avasta they don't need roads, and they
Speaker 1: have something resembling roads. But it's true, um not to
Speaker 1: mention there were some kind of more diplomatic challenges based
Speaker 1: around differences in culture. Right as the cars zig zagged
Speaker 1: across Asia and into Europe. On June there was an
Speaker 1: article in the Times that talked about some events that
Speaker 1: began in on day one d thirty four. In Siberia,
Speaker 1: for example, there was an incident where a dozen men
Speaker 1: and women blasted through this gate. What are you doing
Speaker 1: breaking through our gates? We are angry. You are invading
Speaker 1: our culture. That is an accurate translation. The crew thinks
Speaker 1: they're under attack, and so they're preparing for battle. They're like,
Speaker 1: this is it, this is it? Okay, gig pumped, get pumped.
Speaker 1: Who's the man? Who's the man's man? That's what they
Speaker 1: were saying. It's all of us. It's all of us
Speaker 1: that were saying. There were women to let's not forget yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: But they quickly discovered this was just how the Russians
Speaker 1: in this area were saying hello to them, because you know,
Speaker 1: where they're Russian, they don't need roads that That is
Speaker 1: a very late pun, but it works on a couple
Speaker 1: of totally fine. It was a good follow um, it's
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's interesting right because it's sort of like
Speaker 1: you know, when UK soccer fan ends really like you,
Speaker 1: they head butt you in the face, you know, Is
Speaker 1: that what they told you why they told you they
Speaker 1: did that. Well, I mean I thought I was popular.
Speaker 1: I did my best, But it's true. These things matter,
Speaker 1: and there there is a language to these types of
Speaker 1: behaviors that can absolutely be lost in translation. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: just personal space, Like if you're from the US and
Speaker 1: you travel to a place that's a different idea of
Speaker 1: personal space, it gets real weird. Like people you don't
Speaker 1: know are you know, it's like that thing where if
Speaker 1: you've ever been in a public restroom and they're like
Speaker 1: four stand up urinals and then someone comes right next
Speaker 1: to you, even though it's empty, somebody like that, Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: Like it's weird how it smells like lilas and here
Speaker 1: are you gonna use that urinal cake? Or that just
Speaker 1: flick everyone? So, oh my god, we have a creepy
Speaker 1: bathroom at our office. But you're you're absolutely right. They're
Speaker 1: they were, Um, there was a cultural discrepancene, so they
Speaker 1: were much relieved. But an attack did occur later, not
Speaker 1: by humans but by mosquitoes. Because um, some people might
Speaker 1: not know this, but you know, we think of Siberia
Speaker 1: is like this frozen waste land, but at the wrong
Speaker 1: time of year, it's mosquito town. What's that sound like?
Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. Sorry, this was and they just
Speaker 1: kept coming. Yeah, and they kept slapping, and they just
Speaker 1: keep starting themselves, eyes, their ears, noses, their mouths. We
Speaker 1: can't recreate the volume, the sheer volume of mosquitoes that
Speaker 1: existed in three and the audio, although maybe our super
Speaker 1: producer Max Williams can do so in post to some degree.
Speaker 1: Big Mosquito Van, he's got like this just collection of
Speaker 1: mosquitoes sounds yeah, they're like under glass. Okay, it sounds
Speaker 1: for sure. But he also has some beautiful missus that's
Speaker 1: a card from this South, such a class. Full disclosure,
Speaker 1: we did a previous take of that mosquito attempt and
Speaker 1: instead of clapping, I actually slapped myself in the face.
Speaker 1: It was a much more effective flesh on flesh sound.
Speaker 1: But now my face hurts. It was it was method.
Speaker 1: It was method, and I respect the method. So okay,
Speaker 1: so right now things are reaching ahead, and the Protos
Speaker 1: team had maintained a lead right now in the race,
Speaker 1: but they were having their own problems. They were I then,
Speaker 1: I think Protos absolutely probably accurate, but I like to
Speaker 1: think of them as pisi being pronounced protost like Grecian
Speaker 1: just so yeah, like a like a Greek guy, a
Speaker 1: great Grecian guy. This this issue took place near the
Speaker 1: town of marinsk Uh. The German team, by the way,
Speaker 1: whenever we're dealing with these road race situations, and I
Speaker 1: can't speak from experience as can you. It's not like
Speaker 1: this at all, but I always picture it being a
Speaker 1: lot like Wacky Racers, that kind of barbarrack cartoon where
Speaker 1: there's high jinks and you know, various cartoon characters vying
Speaker 1: for being the wackiest races or like Twisted Metal and
Speaker 1: now there are some really weird car car chases in
Speaker 1: car races, but this one, this one is interesting because
Speaker 1: these people have been through hell and back and the Germans,
Speaker 1: you know, we're talking about how infrastructure wasn't like it
Speaker 1: is today. But the German team there, they run into
Speaker 1: a stream that is somehow still called the stream. It's
Speaker 1: two hundred feet wide and six ft deep. Their car
Speaker 1: can't go through it. So there that that town you're mentioning, uh,
Speaker 1: marinsk Uh. I don't know how this worked, but the
Speaker 1: people in this village sounds super cool. They do what
Speaker 1: do you do? A stream, do you ford it is that?
Speaker 1: That's not what you do. That's what Oregon Trail told me.
Speaker 1: That aw some good people. How many how many times
Speaker 1: did you do you think you got? Was it malaria? No? No, dysentery. Dysentery,
Speaker 1: that's the big d. Yeah, it was a malaria. Although
Speaker 1: I would have been appropriate with the mosquitoes. I bet
Speaker 1: that might have been a problem in this racist I did.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody else did this. No, but
Speaker 1: I'm interested to hear from our ridiculous historians. Did you?
Speaker 1: Was I the only person who, when playing Oregon Trail
Speaker 1: would put the names of people that I didn't like
Speaker 1: in my crew and then play it on like the
Speaker 1: hardest mode. Uh that sounds like a kind of almost
Speaker 1: like a hex you know, like, yeah, I actually got
Speaker 1: an Oregon Trail card game. It's pretty cool. It's not bad.
Speaker 1: And then you have a little tombstones that you write
Speaker 1: the names of your characters on. Oh okay, that took
Speaker 1: a turn. That took a so you're you're right. Um,
Speaker 1: this is something like four dying stream or river. It's
Speaker 1: a real thing you have to do. You can't do
Speaker 1: it in a car because then the car would no
Speaker 1: longer function after going through six ft of water. Oh dude,
Speaker 1: I mean even modern cars. Do you ever you ever
Speaker 1: like driven in like horrible torrential rain and you go
Speaker 1: through like a massive, you know, puddle, It can jack
Speaker 1: up your car, like it starts to sputter, things happen.
Speaker 1: God forbid, you don't have one of those plastic undercarriage
Speaker 1: pieces that sort of protects but that that you know,
Speaker 1: even like I said, modern cars, that stuff is not
Speaker 1: good for your car, And this would have been a
Speaker 1: way more extreme version of that. So they totally do
Speaker 1: this really cool thing. The entire village apparently had nothing
Speaker 1: going on, and so they agreed to get together with
Speaker 1: the German crew and they start throwing logs, throwing talking
Speaker 1: to hey, you gotta make sounds like that when you
Speaker 1: throw logs timber, tim burn. Then hey, you okay, you
Speaker 1: gotta oh wit somebody with I don't know what, I
Speaker 1: am certain they did so this. They put these logs
Speaker 1: under the car to keep it afloat. They have a
Speaker 1: team of horses tow it across and it takes ten hours.
Speaker 1: So we you know, we mentioned that other group took
Speaker 1: several days to do sixty miles. It's just a ten
Speaker 1: hours for a big stream. A big stream, I mean,
Speaker 1: I would say this definitely qualifies as a fording, wouldn't you, Yes,
Speaker 1: because that's what fording is. I mean, it's not just waiting,
Speaker 1: otherwise they'd be called waiting. It requires some act of
Speaker 1: ingenuity to get your stuff across that stream. And that's
Speaker 1: why Henry Ford named his company Ford Automobiles. Huge misconception,
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with his last name. Always wondered
Speaker 1: that he wanted to make amphibbi boats. That's true. That is,
Speaker 1: he did make it a car. Yeah, ridiculous history where
Speaker 1: you're not where it's it's unclear where the truth and
Speaker 1: the ridiculousness begins or vice versa. So that's a feat
Speaker 1: of strength and ingenuity and and and expert forwarding. Uh So.
Speaker 1: A little later, the Protos came upon a particularly muddy
Speaker 1: road that caused the car to sink into the swamps
Speaker 1: of sadness like a tray. Us horse is really really
Speaker 1: a bummer and it's just sinking in there there in tears.
Speaker 1: They're looking at their car and say, why please don't
Speaker 1: leave me to the car, because at this point that
Speaker 1: was all they have left yes, cart cart, Yes, we did.
Speaker 1: Um and they got some help, didn't they, in the
Speaker 1: form of the thing that the car engine power is
Speaker 1: named after. That's right. Yeah, the first they used four
Speaker 1: horses to get across this stream. They had to have
Speaker 1: six horses. Are attacks car tax this thing out of
Speaker 1: that mud? Total ten horses coming to the aid of
Speaker 1: these uh, these these wacky racers horsepower. That's okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm picking up kind of I kind of went in
Speaker 1: reverse order there, but yeah, it's true. Uh, and that
Speaker 1: how they were on hand. We'll definitely never know. Well,
Speaker 1: there's not any way for us to find out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sure we will. It will be a mystery loss to time.
Speaker 1: What is a horse? No one really knows. That's a
Speaker 1: true fact. So now look these people are happy at
Speaker 1: terrible day. And remember we said earlier Roberts flew the coop.
Speaker 1: So Schuster has been the soul driver and he is
Speaker 1: at the end of his rope. He is the strain
Speaker 1: of driving that long. You know, driving for a long
Speaker 1: distance can wear on new road. Hypnosis is the real thing. Uh.
Speaker 1: He also wasn't eating well, it wasn't getting much rest.
Speaker 1: He was doing something that I think we've all encountered. Actually, Matt,
Speaker 1: you and I have all encountered this different types in
Speaker 1: our jobs. You're just gonna sleep whenever possible. That's like you.
Speaker 1: You can do that for a time, but it's it's
Speaker 1: not Um, it's not sustainable. And so eventually Schuster let
Speaker 1: someone else drive and the car, and now the team
Speaker 1: is doing much much better because this guy can finally
Speaker 1: take a break, kick out in the back and have
Speaker 1: a snooze festum car tax sleep fart sleep. I'm looking
Speaker 1: over that is like, so Matt is um, Matt is
Speaker 1: our expert on three D audio, and so I keep
Speaker 1: looking over what we're doing for approval, to see if
Speaker 1: it's approval, to see if he's just like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. We don't know what was gonna happen. We
Speaker 1: get out of the boy. We're really classing up three
Speaker 1: D audio. Here's what we're doing. Yeah, we're giving you
Speaker 1: cinematic farts. Thank you, Matt, thank you. Yeah. Do we
Speaker 1: get like, is there a red carpet red farted whatever?
Speaker 1: We're moving on. So, now that now the Thomas team
Speaker 1: is in a in much better positions in per Russia,
Speaker 1: Schuster gets a telegram from the Thomas Factory in Buffalo,
Speaker 1: New York. And they say, do you want else? The
Speaker 1: sad and Montague Roberts to help you when you get
Speaker 1: on the good Birds of Europe. And Schuster was so
Speaker 1: mad that he could have and I love this phrase
Speaker 1: eating nails. Have you ever heard that? Eating nails? So mad?
Speaker 1: I could eat some nails. Let's see, let's think of
Speaker 1: an analog. I'm so mad I could spit. There's one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm so mad at you sleepart. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: the thing, sleepart so I mean, but using it in
Speaker 1: such a way I sleepfarty seems like a very pleasant thing.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would only do that if I out
Speaker 1: of an abundance of comfort in safety. Uh I. I
Speaker 1: love hearing those, um those idioms that people just seem
Speaker 1: to have made up on this bottle. Wow, I'm sure
Speaker 1: that that's has to be a common one me. I guess.
Speaker 1: So it seems like, I mean, it's first on me.
Speaker 1: And you certainly would have to be pretty mad, like
Speaker 1: I like like like crazy man like sleep deprived, insane?
Speaker 1: Oh mad, you know, And so he immediately replies, this
Speaker 1: is like when you are texting someone in a disagree it,
Speaker 1: and they they start, you know, like just flame texting you,
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, okay, wow, they have they have way
Speaker 1: more time to dedication. I've had a few girlfriends that
Speaker 1: were very good at that. It's really hard when someone's
Speaker 1: just blasting he it's really hard not to try to retort,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Well, also it's hard just
Speaker 1: to keep the pace of the conversation because you know,
Speaker 1: the fight is never about the fight. Now, it's never
Speaker 1: about the fight. It's a it's a sport, is what
Speaker 1: it is. So what does Schuster say when he when
Speaker 1: he shoots back, Uh, he he just says, July nine
Speaker 1: arrived today, expect to reach Paris on July Shuster shooster out. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the implication here was that he was good enough
Speaker 1: to drive the flyer through these very arduous, boggy terrains
Speaker 1: of Siberia, but not through the capitals of Europe. Yes see,
Speaker 1: that's the thing, like, if you think about it from
Speaker 1: his perspective, he has been through terrible, terrible times. He's
Speaker 1: really struggled, and he's he's a great driver, and he's saying, Okay, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm good enough to do the actual work would you
Speaker 1: want someone else to get the credit? Severely eat some nails.
Speaker 1: I get it exactly exactly. But here we are now again,
Speaker 1: coming to you in three No no no no no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. That's a car. That's so. I thought it
Speaker 1: was maybe one of those like, let's do that, do
Speaker 1: do do do? Do Do? Do do dop breaking new his
Speaker 1: bullets in the Chairman's across the finish line first, but
Speaker 1: the American team wins the race. Why why do people
Speaker 1: do as a sound effect for it sounds like a
Speaker 1: coff in this crowd. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: doing it more like a wheeze, like she's probably that's
Speaker 1: way better I was doing. There was one guy, there
Speaker 1: was one guy. Okay, yeah, but that's yeah, that's all.
Speaker 1: That's all she wrote. The Germans did cross the finish
Speaker 1: line first, but due to a technicality, the Americans reigned supreme. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's right now. So is July, five and a half
Speaker 1: months after the beginning of the race, twenty one, thirty
Speaker 1: three miles from the start way over in Times Square,
Speaker 1: Lieutenant Copen arrives in Paris, slowly gliding down the streets,
Speaker 1: and a delegation of editors from the martin uh Mr Casey,
Speaker 1: he would know how pronounced the French. They greet him
Speaker 1: with this is funny. They greet him and serve him
Speaker 1: a cold buffet as a reception, and they have apparently
Speaker 1: tepid enthusiasm because this was France, and the whole time
Speaker 1: this race is happening, people can accumulate penalties and allowances.
Speaker 1: So this means the American team still has a month
Speaker 1: to finish and to win. And that's why four days later,
Speaker 1: when Schuster and the Americans cruise into Paris, they get
Speaker 1: this ecstatic crowd and are what are they shouting? The
Speaker 1: same guy on his deathbed, he goes because vin car
Speaker 1: American and I don't eggs on stage left? Is this
Speaker 1: stage left? This one stage left? I guess this would
Speaker 1: be stage facing. Okay, by the way, everybody, this thing.
Speaker 1: It looks like it's like a weird head with only ears,
Speaker 1: and it's there must be something you've seen in a
Speaker 1: sci fi film, because it's got these weird frames around it,
Speaker 1: like there's like like the ears or like a living
Speaker 1: piece of tissue that's somehow been cyber dies. You know,
Speaker 1: it's connected with like some kind of metal piece exactly.
Speaker 1: It reminds me those experiments where you could grow your
Speaker 1: cartilage on a mouse. That's exactly right. And I gotta
Speaker 1: say these are quite fetching ears. It's also if you'll notice, uh,
Speaker 1: these have the attached ear lobes, which is a recessive
Speaker 1: genetic trait. Wow, I never thought about that. I totally
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, but to these, to these folks in Paris.
Speaker 1: But so, like we said, Schuster, they find he and
Speaker 1: the crew finally make it and that cat. Uh, the
Speaker 1: Italians are running late, but they got really close to
Speaker 1: not winning. They almost didn't make it to the finish
Speaker 1: line because get this, they got pulled over. Probably probably
Speaker 1: a bit of a whip sound like that. They're more
Speaker 1: like we read kind of effect. And maybe maybe they
Speaker 1: didn't have sirens either. Maybe it's just like, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: I think for some reason, I'm picturing our listeners at
Speaker 1: home right now just screaming at their iPhones up with
Speaker 1: the sound effects. We get at you, guys, we get at.
Speaker 1: But yeah, they are pulled over mid race. Not a
Speaker 1: good look. Uh. The officer approaches and uh what was
Speaker 1: it for speeding? What even was said? They had no
Speaker 1: working headlight and this is in Paris, like they are
Speaker 1: so close to the finish line. Uh. They said, you've
Speaker 1: got no working headlights, so according to the local law,
Speaker 1: you cannot drive in the city at night. And of course,
Speaker 1: since it's Paris, passling cyclists saw the scene and offered
Speaker 1: to load his bicycle into the car to use as
Speaker 1: a headlight because the bike had a functioning headlight, and
Speaker 1: the officer, in a burst of magnanimity, magnanimity just he
Speaker 1: was being nice, essentially let him go. Yeah, And so
Speaker 1: six pm, the Thomas car has completed the race. Uh.
Speaker 1: Even though the Protos arrived four days earlier, they had
Speaker 1: the fifteen day penalty, and that gave the Americans the victory.
Speaker 1: And Schuster, who has apparently done eating nails, insists that
Speaker 1: Monty Roberts be there for the flyers returned to Times
Speaker 1: Square where it all began in August nineteen o eight.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. And of course there was, you know,
Speaker 1: a ticker tape parade, one would assume, raucous parties. And
Speaker 1: after all of that, uh, subside and he just went
Speaker 1: back to his job at the factory um where he
Speaker 1: was guaranteed long term employment as long as the company
Speaker 1: remained afloat. That is just the most lackluster, anticlimactic the prize. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess it is. It's kind of it's almost like
Speaker 1: you think about the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
Speaker 1: with Charlie inheriting the factory as being you know, kind
Speaker 1: of somehow amazing. But it's also like, bro, you gotta
Speaker 1: run a factory now, Yeah, you're not equipped for this.
Speaker 1: He's a kid, he's a little kid. What does he
Speaker 1: know about manufacturing? Well, you know, it's uh, there are
Speaker 1: people would say that being a a CEO for certain
Speaker 1: companies doesn't really mean you do all that. I didn't
Speaker 1: say he was the CEO. He said he was dam
Speaker 1: giving it to you. Yeah, so maybe he's just the
Speaker 1: ownership class now he doesn't really do anything. I suppose
Speaker 1: the lumps probably have all that lockdown. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: they've got a strong union. Honestly. Like also with the
Speaker 1: UPA lupas, how much time do they spend making candy
Speaker 1: versus working on choreography, yeah, or versus teaching lessons to
Speaker 1: horrible children? Yeah, But the thing is they're not really
Speaker 1: teaching the lessons because the children are. It feels like
Speaker 1: the children have lifelong injuries. At this point, they're not
Speaker 1: going to recover the very least irreparable PTSD. I thought
Speaker 1: they did Goosta dirty. I'm gonna say he did not
Speaker 1: deserve what happened to him when he got sucked up
Speaker 1: in the tubes. Yeah, just because he likes chocolate, he said.
Speaker 1: It can be thinking August's Augustus. Uh, but it's also
Speaker 1: kind of body shaming in a lot of ways, you know.
Speaker 1: And I mean not to be like two PC about it,
Speaker 1: but uh, one thing I will say, I watched it, Sorr.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go from the standard it's worth it. I
Speaker 1: recently watched the comparison video of the nineteen seventies Willy
Speaker 1: Wonka and the awful borderline watchable, Uh Tim Burton one know,
Speaker 1: so I just yes, well, you know it's it's they're
Speaker 1: two very different movies, they are. But the one thing
Speaker 1: that the comparison YouTube YouTubers um mentioned is that the
Speaker 1: chocolate in the seventies one it looks like liquid diarrhea.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't. That's why I think, you know, Augustus
Speaker 1: was done dirty because he was he was being adventurous
Speaker 1: and he wasn't hurting any I guess he was contaminating
Speaker 1: the Chocolate River. Anyway, Before we get to the very
Speaker 1: end the wrap up of this, I've got to tell you, folks,
Speaker 1: if you were a fan of Willy Wonka, there is
Speaker 1: an amazing theory that snow Piercer is a sequel to
Speaker 1: Willy Wonka to the nineteen seventies one. I know it
Speaker 1: sounds crazy. Check out the YouTube video after you listen
Speaker 1: to this. It is a little bit long, but it
Speaker 1: is compelling. Have you seen this? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about? Have you heard about? No? I haven't,
Speaker 1: but I love I love the concept and I'm already
Speaker 1: thinking of scenarios how this could be the case. But
Speaker 1: like most good things, the Thomas Company did come to
Speaker 1: it and a doubt right collapse, and all of its
Speaker 1: remaining models and parts, et cetera were auctioned off. Lot
Speaker 1: number eighteen twenty nine was listed as the famous New
Speaker 1: York to Paris racer. And that is why even today,
Speaker 1: should you travel to Reno, Nevada, you can check out
Speaker 1: the Thomas flyer at the National Automobile Museum. We've got
Speaker 1: some listeners in Reno, one of whom is offered to
Speaker 1: grisly offered to teach me golf. I don't know how
Speaker 1: it works, so and we taught golf. I think either
Speaker 1: got it or yans it's like, it's like it's a
Speaker 1: gulf is a vibe more than a sport, and completely
Speaker 1: agree it's also a flex. Ben. Can you remind listeners
Speaker 1: about where to check out that car stuff episode that
Speaker 1: was adjacent to this topic? Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely you
Speaker 1: can just uh really, it's as simple as searching car
Speaker 1: stuff for the New York to Paris auto race. And
Speaker 1: it should, it should pop right up. It's ah, this
Speaker 1: is terrible. We've gone too far to turn back. Now
Speaker 1: it's a wild ride. So this is the end of
Speaker 1: our three D segment. We hope you enjoyed a little
Speaker 1: bit of audio theater you mind. We also hope you
Speaker 1: appreciate the roads you have now indeed of the mind,
Speaker 1: of the brain of all all those things. Huge thanks
Speaker 1: to Max Williams for putting up with having to do
Speaker 1: post production on this, and even Huger No equally huge
Speaker 1: thanks to Matt Frederick for teaching us the ways and
Speaker 1: and and for touching these weird creepy flea sheet ear
Speaker 1: things and not making us do it so huge hooch
Speaker 1: thinks as well to our producer crew, uh Casey Pegraham,
Speaker 1: Andrew Howard, Alex Williams, who can pose that slap a
Speaker 1: track uh not in three D audio. But Alex is
Speaker 1: also a bit of a three D audio offician nod
Speaker 1: don't if I do say so yourself. Yeah, he's no
Speaker 1: Dodo when it comes to the three D O uh
Speaker 1: three D audio the mic here is called the three
Speaker 1: D I. Oh that's where it was Yeah, made by
Speaker 1: d O. Yes, its rocks for a long long time. Um,
Speaker 1: but now it's time for him to pass the torch
Speaker 1: and for us to pass the torch to you. Ridiculous
Speaker 1: Historians where you can check us out on the Internet
Speaker 1: where we are ridiculous history on every place you could
Speaker 1: possibly imagine. Our favorite place, of course on the Internet
Speaker 1: is Ridiculous Historians Facebook group where you can get into
Speaker 1: the conversation with us. Join us there, we pop in,
Speaker 1: we pop out. Definitely some great folks in that group. Um.
Speaker 1: You can also find us individually as human people on
Speaker 1: the Internet in our own rights. I am on Instagram
Speaker 1: exclusively at how now Noel Brown, and you can find
Speaker 1: me on Twitter at Ben bullin hs W or on
Speaker 1: Instagram at Ben Bulling bo w l i A, this
Speaker 1: is weird. I got close to the other side and
Speaker 1: it's like we're in kissing distance and I was there
Speaker 1: too and it was good. It's weird, but you should
Speaker 1: definitely check up in such profiles because he does some
Speaker 1: really funny goal stuff the Internet. Thank you as this year,
Speaker 1: Okay for everybody, it's definitely as the community or Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll see you next tide box. For more podcasts for
Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.