Speaker 1: Hey, Fucker's what up? It's Christina Hutchinson and Karin Fisher.
Speaker 1: You are about to listen to a clip from our show, Guys,
Speaker 1: We Fucked, the anti slut shaming podcast. This week we
Speaker 1: interview intimacy expert and sex advisor Susan Bratton. We talk
Speaker 1: a lot about all the kinds of orgasms you can have,
Speaker 1: what might be stopping you from having an orgasm, how
Speaker 1: do you not come so quickly? Guys? How to just
Speaker 1: get held by someone and have it be meaningful and
Speaker 1: not want to call them away from you? Um, And
Speaker 1: if you want to listen to the entire conversation, you're
Speaker 1: going to head over to Apple dot co slash GWF.
Speaker 1: That's Apple dot ceo slash GWF, where you can listen
Speaker 1: to the rest of that episode and also are amazing
Speaker 1: catalog of content because we're officially on Apple now as
Speaker 1: far as like the Luminary Channel is on Apple again.
Speaker 1: That's Apple Dot ceo slash GWF. I publish passionate love
Speaker 1: making techniques. I basically teach people how to come well. Um,
Speaker 1: So you know there's a place in the world for this,
Speaker 1: right What I do is for the last fifteen years,
Speaker 1: I have owned a publishing company with my husband, who
Speaker 1: takes care of them. Back ends always shall we say,
Speaker 1: and um, we teach orgasm skills, um, how to have them,
Speaker 1: how to have them more intensely, how to have them longer,
Speaker 1: how to have multiple ones, how to have squirting ones, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, what I was working on
Speaker 1: this morning before we started was, um, I'm doing a
Speaker 1: fifteen week orgasm challenge with all my fans on my newsletter.
Speaker 1: It's called come with Me. And I spent a lot
Speaker 1: of time thinking about all the different kinds of orgasms
Speaker 1: with little post it notes up on my wall, like Okay,
Speaker 1: let's put the squirting one here, and let's put the
Speaker 1: prostate one here. And I really figured out that there
Speaker 1: are twenty kinds of orgasms that people can have. He's
Speaker 1: on of them, regardless of your genitalium, dick owners, volva owners,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I mean, there's basically two there's x
Speaker 1: X and x Y. We're born one or the other.
Speaker 1: So gender expression is an entirely different thing. You can
Speaker 1: have any gender expression, but if you have a penis
Speaker 1: with a prostate, that's going to be different than a
Speaker 1: volva and the three erectile systems in the valvas. This
Speaker 1: is where I'm a sex nerd. You can't come well
Speaker 1: unless you know what all the places are. There was
Speaker 1: a while ago, you know, on on Guys we Fund
Speaker 1: because we've been doing this podcast for about seven years.
Speaker 1: And then it was a while ago where I swore
Speaker 1: I had an orgasm like on the outside of my butt.
Speaker 1: Yeah as to say that, and I'm like, that's wow.
Speaker 1: And then we kind of fizzled after that because I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if that was a thing.
Speaker 1: I try to look it up, got nothing. Um so
Speaker 1: can yes, please, can you speak to the seven year
Speaker 1: buttgasm mystery? Well, what orgasms are a thing. If you
Speaker 1: think about orgasms, there are locations of orgasms. So touching
Speaker 1: the tip of my clute, touching my penis, touching my nipple,
Speaker 1: the deep in my throat, you know you can have
Speaker 1: wonderful orgasm, not just the thing. So it's not that's
Speaker 1: the that I feel like that thing, some dude would say.
Speaker 1: But I'm glad hearing it from a woman makes me go, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe it's true. It's so true. Some of my very
Speaker 1: best orgasms are throat chasms. And also when you get
Speaker 1: that thing activated and you calm, it can make it.
Speaker 1: It's it's connected directly to your yoni and you really
Speaker 1: this is like a hollow tube from the top of
Speaker 1: your mouth all the way down and out your pussy.
Speaker 1: And when you start to connect the dots almost visualizing
Speaker 1: your body having an orgasm up and down this hollow
Speaker 1: flute as it's called, uh that getting that all activated
Speaker 1: can make you not just come in your pussy while
Speaker 1: you're coming in your throat, but it can make you ejaculate,
Speaker 1: and you can ejaculate from both your throat and from
Speaker 1: your pussy. There's a raise your orgasmic possibilities out there.
Speaker 1: Can we can we get to the basics so I
Speaker 1: can have some blocks of how the hell you could
Speaker 1: come from your throat? You're talking about a rectile tissue,
Speaker 1: and what is the nature of an orgasm? Like, let's
Speaker 1: start bare bones here. Sure, well, an orgasm is really
Speaker 1: a contraction that sends pleasure signals to your brain. And
Speaker 1: one of the nice things about orgasms is that they're
Speaker 1: very rebooting to the nervous system. You know how you
Speaker 1: love to get held when you're stressed out, and you
Speaker 1: know how you love to be hugged and squeezed and
Speaker 1: it feels so good. That's kind of your body doing
Speaker 1: that for you from the inside out. That's that's what
Speaker 1: an orgasm is in some ways. And also, yeah, well
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, m'm I've recently made the realization
Speaker 1: that I was raised by a narcissistic mother, and now
Speaker 1: it makes sense why I was masturbating all the time
Speaker 1: from age five. I was just to calm yourself down.
Speaker 1: H It's very calming. Yeah. One of the things, you know,
Speaker 1: we wanted to talk a little bit about giant clip
Speaker 1: energy today, and I think that when you when you
Speaker 1: are really in your orgasm, when you are coming well,
Speaker 1: when you have intensity of orgasm, when you're really able
Speaker 1: to stay in the state of orgasm, when you're really
Speaker 1: able to feel it and ride it like a big
Speaker 1: wave rider rides an orgasm, when you take the moment
Speaker 1: of orgasm and you can get into that moment and
Speaker 1: you can stretch that moment out like taffy. That's one
Speaker 1: of the things I like to do to let people
Speaker 1: know is that there are all these different kinds of
Speaker 1: orgasms you can have, and then there are techno nieks
Speaker 1: for making them really incredibly sensual and pleasurable. And what's
Speaker 1: great about it is that almost all the time, when
Speaker 1: you just tell a person you can do this, they go, well,
Speaker 1: shoot up, I'm gonna try, and then they start doing it.
Speaker 1: That's what I love about teaching orgasm techniques and skills
Speaker 1: is that almost often it's just a matter of being
Speaker 1: aware that it's possible. I remember the first time my
Speaker 1: girlfriend said I'm coming from my throat and it's a thing.
Speaker 1: We were on a hype the throat More taught me
Speaker 1: about it, and I just started doing it with my
Speaker 1: partner and now I'm just incredibly orgasmic from going down
Speaker 1: on him gets me. It gets me going to go
Speaker 1: down on him, and a lot of times I'm not
Speaker 1: going down on him for his pleasure necessarily, I'm just
Speaker 1: getting off on his dick in my throat, and and
Speaker 1: then he's getting off on that. Because men get off
Speaker 1: on us getting off really everyone happy. And I think
Speaker 1: that really flips the switch on the b J too.
Speaker 1: You know that it's not you, it's like you're you
Speaker 1: are a tool for my pleasure. Yeah, wow, wink. When
Speaker 1: you coming from your throng. What does that feel like? Well,
Speaker 1: it does a couple of things. One, you feel the
Speaker 1: contraction up in your mouth. It's it's like an orgasm
Speaker 1: in your mouth, but it's also an orgasm in your pussy.
Speaker 1: You have the contraction in your pussy, And over time,
Speaker 1: as you do those throat gasms, the spit changes consistencies.
Speaker 1: So you start out and you're kind of dry, and
Speaker 1: then the spit starts flowing, and that means you're relaxing,
Speaker 1: you're relaxed. Arousal really can't begin until you're in relaxation.
Speaker 1: So I just thought the spit starts because you're choking. No,
Speaker 1: and there's no. You don't want to choke, you want
Speaker 1: to The gag reflects is the beginning of the orgasmic contraction,
Speaker 1: So you don't necessarily shy away from it. You just
Speaker 1: you want to learn how to hold the sensation of
Speaker 1: that feeling like you're gonna gag, but not worrying about it.
Speaker 1: You know. That's funny, Yeah, because I I've always been
Speaker 1: a fan of giving a blow job. I've always really
Speaker 1: liked it. I always get sexual pleasure in it. I
Speaker 1: think there's some mental there's some mental sexual pleasure for
Speaker 1: me in it too. But I do like choking on
Speaker 1: the dick, and I wonder if that's why, because I'm
Speaker 1: like secretly onto something that I don't realize. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: push right through that, take it, take a little bit more.
Speaker 1: You stay in total control, and you just take a
Speaker 1: little bit more of that. I know. Um, there'll be
Speaker 1: plenty of volunteers if you, if you, if you want
Speaker 1: to learn how to give yourself orgasms on a dick,
Speaker 1: and I think you could find Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: anyone's ever been like, no, please don't. The visual I
Speaker 1: had was just like of a throat orgasm was just
Speaker 1: like the girl from the Exorcist, and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden rejectile vomiting everywhere. I threw up a lot, Like
Speaker 1: It's just my body is not so I get nervous,
Speaker 1: are coming. I'm pretty sure my body is natural response
Speaker 1: to anything it doesn't want is barf all the time.
Speaker 1: That is. I believe that, and I honor that. And
Speaker 1: and the throat gasm may not be your best avenue
Speaker 1: for orgasm. You might prefer g spot awakening and female ejaculation.
Speaker 1: It's more yoni massage. Um. Some women find that an
Speaker 1: orgasms are even better for them than vaginal gasms, if
Speaker 1: you will. I mean, we have so much pleasure available
Speaker 1: to us that really, wherever you want it, however you
Speaker 1: want it, you should get it. But I honest, like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead. I did just want to finish off on that,
Speaker 1: like the spit thing about the throat gasm, because it's
Speaker 1: weird and interesting. Yeah, it starts at you start out dry,
Speaker 1: and then you get a spit run, which shows that
Speaker 1: you're beginning to relax and get turned on. And then
Speaker 1: the spit gets like pre come, it gets really clear
Speaker 1: and super stringing. And then the longer you go that
Speaker 1: that almost is like what starts to lubricate so you
Speaker 1: can slide the penis or a dildo. No, I could
Speaker 1: try without a person. You could try without a person.
Speaker 1: And then it starts to really run. It gets really running,
Speaker 1: and then it starts to get white and foamy. And
Speaker 1: there are points where if you're having a throat schasm,
Speaker 1: you need to remove the object from your throat and
Speaker 1: let that fluid release and you'll actually open your mouth
Speaker 1: and fluid will come out. Will it just like it
Speaker 1: just runs out. It just runs. You want it to
Speaker 1: run you feel that you want to release it out. Wow.
Speaker 1: So this and this so also what I'm gathering here
Speaker 1: is it's a lot of it is mental and it's
Speaker 1: a lot of energy centers. It's almost like you're connecting stuff.
Speaker 1: Like when you say yoni, I've heard that word before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's quite No, that's the Tom Tricks sex word for
Speaker 1: a pussy, and Lingham is the ton Trick sex work
Speaker 1: for words tricks, Tom Tricks sex word for a dick.
Speaker 1: So Yoni and Lingham they're they're just another sweeter way
Speaker 1: to say it instead of dick and pussy. Okay, okay, wow,
Speaker 1: wow cute, aren't they? Yoni, my little Yoni. Yeah that
Speaker 1: you've heard of Yoni eggs eggs, Yeah, it's it's actually
Speaker 1: traditionally made from jade and women use it to um
Speaker 1: learn how to suck the egg in and push the
Speaker 1: egg out, and it gives you know, the vagina is
Speaker 1: a muscle, and the more muscular it is, the better
Speaker 1: your orgasmic contractions. So if you you know, you can
Speaker 1: have a penis in your vagina and you can squeeze
Speaker 1: that penis and manipulate it without even using up and down,
Speaker 1: in and out friction. Can your vaginal muscles give it
Speaker 1: like a corkscrew, Not like a corkscrew, but more like
Speaker 1: an up and down the shaft type of thing. And
Speaker 1: that actually activates your orgasm when you do that, when
Speaker 1: you're using those contractions, it also keeps you from peeing
Speaker 1: your pants when you get old. Particle is practical? Your
Speaker 1: a hoot? How did you we always like this horny
Speaker 1: little girl? Yeah? Okay, just yeah, Like, how what got
Speaker 1: you interested in making this a career? It's my second career.
Speaker 1: I was. I was a tight as Silicon Valley entrepreneur
Speaker 1: for a years. Oh and now you're like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna come all day and all night and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell other people how to come. That sounds
Speaker 1: way better. It's a great job. I created my reality. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to sit in a room with somebody
Speaker 1: who had sexual issues and hear all about their problems,
Speaker 1: like I'd rather kill myself. Wait can we talk about that?
Speaker 1: Value would hear that a lot? Because I think she
Speaker 1: just like she just didn't want to be a sexual
Speaker 1: like coach coach and hear about that, So that she
Speaker 1: created a space in sexuality that was that was not annoying.
Speaker 1: I'm all about the up. If I teach you how
Speaker 1: to come, I'm teaching you that the techniques the good stuff.
Speaker 1: And it was funny because I started out with orgasm
Speaker 1: skills expanded orgasm, female ejaculation, male multiple orgasm. These are
Speaker 1: kind of the fundamental skills that are next level advanced
Speaker 1: sexual mastery that people want to learn. Once they've learned
Speaker 1: how to happenn orgasm, they want They're like, what kind
Speaker 1: of other orgasms can I have? But then I realized
Speaker 1: that I needed to teach bedroom communication skills because if
Speaker 1: you can't talk about it or ask for what you need,
Speaker 1: then all the skills in the world are useless. And
Speaker 1: then I realized, well, I mean, it's just creates so
Speaker 1: much stress. I mean, the whole idea of being able
Speaker 1: to say I'm I'm not sexually satisfied what we're doing
Speaker 1: isn't working for me. Try to say that to a dude,
Speaker 1: He's gonna have a ship fit every time. It is
Speaker 1: such a difficult needle to thread. So how can I
Speaker 1: help people be able to have the conversations And how
Speaker 1: can I empower especially the female gender, to believe that
Speaker 1: their body will tell them what it wants and to
Speaker 1: trust their body, to trust their unit. I always say
Speaker 1: she knows. Listen to her, she will tell you what
Speaker 1: she wants. Don't trying. Yeah yeah wow wow. So so
Speaker 1: right now I'm thinking of we have a lot of
Speaker 1: listeners and this email, this is an email we get
Speaker 1: a lot and it stumps me. And I feel like
Speaker 1: you have the perfect you would word it perfectly to
Speaker 1: really get into people's heads with this. Um, people have
Speaker 1: never had women who have never had an orgasm and
Speaker 1: or or vagin ismus vaginite like just like they're they're
Speaker 1: vagina titans. It's and it's you know, they've had sexual
Speaker 1: trauma or there's so many women that have little emails
Speaker 1: that have never they go, how do you know if
Speaker 1: you've come? I'm like, well you have, you haven't, like
Speaker 1: you know, like it's very it's very clear. Um, what
Speaker 1: are what are the ways to ease into that? What's
Speaker 1: some like really one oh one, just get a big
Speaker 1: gas bomber vibrator, stick it on your clip. I mean,
Speaker 1: let's not overthink it. Look like some people don't like
Speaker 1: like Krian doesn't like literal stimulation and I do, like
Speaker 1: so every vagina is different so I imagine too. No,
Speaker 1: it's not that I don't like I just like vibrators
Speaker 1: just too. It's just too it's literally just too much
Speaker 1: for me. But that's just like because I'm a real
Speaker 1: easy come. Yeah, well, and I think that's great that
Speaker 1: you're an easy come and that vibrators are too much.
Speaker 1: There's different kinds of vibrators. There's vibrators that um suck
Speaker 1: your clip and you can put them on a really
Speaker 1: light setting the Womanizer of the world. There's ones that
Speaker 1: kind of click your clip, and there are ones that
Speaker 1: buzz your clip, and there are ones that rumble your
Speaker 1: clip and different, and there are ones that go like
Speaker 1: motor boat like that. One's also a popular one amongst
Speaker 1: the ladies. So if someone has an orgasm, I would say,
Speaker 1: mess around with a bunch of vibrators. And also one
Speaker 1: of the one of the kinds of vibrators that I
Speaker 1: like is um a vibrator that both goes internally as
Speaker 1: well as has a pad that lays over. The Clitterest
Speaker 1: Fun Factory has a good one that is it's called
Speaker 1: the lady By and you can stick it inside so
Speaker 1: you're getting the internal stimulation at the same time. You're
Speaker 1: getting the outside clitteral external stimulation, and that can help
Speaker 1: a lot of women who haven't orgasm. But you can't
Speaker 1: go wrong with the wand the big wand the big
Speaker 1: the big brute just going yeah, yeah. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of settings that that vary, and it's a big opject
Speaker 1: like it is very big. So yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: that's a good It covers a lot of ground. Um.
Speaker 1: One of the other things that I think is really important,
Speaker 1: this is my political statement on the show today, which
Speaker 1: is that a lot of my fellows experts and there
Speaker 1: are many of us now, which I'm really happy about.
Speaker 1: It's it's a career these days, which is wonderful. But
Speaker 1: there's a little bit of a mistake in the marketplace
Speaker 1: that I think it becomes an urban legend, which is
Speaker 1: that notion of the orgasm gap, where it's so easy
Speaker 1: for men to have an orgasm for intercourse and so
Speaker 1: difficult for women that men need to uh spend as
Speaker 1: much time on oral sex and fingering as they do
Speaker 1: on just fucking us. And I agree with that part,
Speaker 1: but what I think people are missing is the people
Speaker 1: don't understand that we have three erectile systems in our vulva,
Speaker 1: which is the word that instead of vagina, because vagina
Speaker 1: is just the canal. So taking in the entire female
Speaker 1: genital system. If you think about those three erectile structures,
Speaker 1: you're really thinking about the clitteral head, the shaft, the arms,
Speaker 1: the legs. That's one, that's the clitteral system. Then there's
Speaker 1: the your rethrol system, which people call it g spot,
Speaker 1: but it's not a spot. It's a long tube of
Speaker 1: erectile tissue that has a couple of stimulating locations that
Speaker 1: you can get to you really easily. I can tell
Speaker 1: you what those are. And then there's the paranal sponge
Speaker 1: on the bottom of the floor of the vagina. Between
Speaker 1: the vagina and the rectum, there's another sponge. So our
Speaker 1: vaginally got God, that's probably what I felt when I
Speaker 1: was with the outside of the Okay, it is well
Speaker 1: plus all of them. There's nerve endings all around the
Speaker 1: anal sphincter, because your vaginant is a sphincter, your wreath
Speaker 1: res a sphincter, your asks is a sphinter, so you've
Speaker 1: got all kinds of tissue around those. That's very delicate.
Speaker 1: But where I think we're we've gone wrong is in
Speaker 1: telling people to focus on the clip, And when when
Speaker 1: you say to people focus on the clip, they think
Speaker 1: the tip of the clip, and that's is very sensitive
Speaker 1: and the better you get it coming, the more sensitive
Speaker 1: it gets. What you really want to do is activate
Speaker 1: all the erectile tissue of the volta, so that you
Speaker 1: could come just from the lightest little stroke down the
Speaker 1: little frilly edge of your inner labia, almost like a
Speaker 1: butterfly kiss, and it could make you come. You could
Speaker 1: come from having a hand copping your volta. Once you
Speaker 1: get how do you get to that? How do you
Speaker 1: get that activated? Play it, play with it, you rub it,
Speaker 1: you touch it, and you click it, you suck it,
Speaker 1: you buzz it, you play with it, and over time,
Speaker 1: your entire your whole pussy gets really active and it's
Speaker 1: able to come so much better, and then it's able
Speaker 1: to come with a penis inside it. Because really, when
Speaker 1: that's all activated, your entire vagina is raped with plumped
Speaker 1: up erectile tissue. That's called engorgement. And we may have
Speaker 1: been having sex with flaccid volvas and way too And
Speaker 1: I'll sometimes in porn, I'll see I'll notice that the
Speaker 1: woman's vagina is engorged, and I'm like, wait that she
Speaker 1: she's having fun, Like that's how you can tell she's
Speaker 1: really having fun. She didn't faken have fun. Well have
Speaker 1: you had like a long weekend full of sex where
Speaker 1: you just fucked for days? Yes? And it's and the
Speaker 1: taking the time and going really slow and the light
Speaker 1: touch for me personally is like, oh my God, Jesus
Speaker 1: Christ like that. And then when you feel it is
Speaker 1: really empowered too, because I haven't. I haven't had sex
Speaker 1: in a while, but I know I'm super ummed about that.
Speaker 1: Every time I listened to the show and you haven't
Speaker 1: had sex again, like I will say, how can I
Speaker 1: fix this? I haven't talked about this, I don't think
Speaker 1: on the podcast, but I have gotten to this place
Speaker 1: where when I masturbate, it's a fucking production and it
Speaker 1: is good fun. And I will make the earthquake by
Speaker 1: myself like that. That's the point that I'm getting at
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, that's exciting. And I and I
Speaker 1: and I now I kind of understand like what paces,
Speaker 1: what temperatures, what all the things. So then whenever whoever
Speaker 1: I date next, we're gonna have a good old time good.
Speaker 1: So when I masturbated, it's it's like it's it's it's
Speaker 1: all that energy that you have that's amitting off of you,
Speaker 1: because I could tell you come a lot and real, well,
Speaker 1: that's that's starting to happen to me. So it's really
Speaker 1: because I'm treating masturbating like a like a thing, So
Speaker 1: I'm not just I love hearing that and that. That's
Speaker 1: one of the things I love about your show, the
Speaker 1: anti slut shaming. You know, just treat yourself well and
Speaker 1: come the ship out of yourself and have a great time.
Speaker 1: That creates as much giant cliit energy as having sex
Speaker 1: with someone else and having good orgasms. Your giant clint
Speaker 1: energy is already inside you. All your orgasms are already
Speaker 1: in there. It doesn't require anyone else to give you
Speaker 1: your own clit empowerment. Yeah, I'll say, well, that's also
Speaker 1: a way to like not have to be like toxically
Speaker 1: connected to people. You know, sometimes I feel like women
Speaker 1: are just like in it for the sex, and then
Speaker 1: you can stay in a real toxic back and forth
Speaker 1: with somebody and there's absolutely no need to be doing
Speaker 1: toxic dick is mesmerizing. Toxic dick is and it's all
Speaker 1: mental too. A lot of times it's not even that
Speaker 1: gonna and and but it's it's what it embodies to you.
Speaker 1: But if you can provide for yourself, not not only,
Speaker 1: if you can go above and beyond for yourself, I
Speaker 1: think that is that you're in a good position to
Speaker 1: meet somebody and have a good sex life. We hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed that excerpt from our interview with Susan Bratton.
Speaker 1: If you want to hear the whole thing, head on
Speaker 1: over to Apple dot co slash GWF and get yours
Speaker 1: Yes