Speaker 1: What up, fuckers. It's Christina Hutchinson and Karin Fisher. You're
Speaker 1: about to listen to a clip of our show, Guys
Speaker 1: We Fucked, the Anti shimming Podcasts. On this episode, we
Speaker 1: interview comedian Shane Torres and we talk about so many
Speaker 1: things not even gonna believe nipples has when we think
Speaker 1: a common larnator uh and Luminary is available via the
Speaker 1: iTunes app now. For full episodes of Guys We Fucked.
Speaker 1: You're gonna subscribe to the Luminary channel on Apple Podcasts
Speaker 1: by going to Apple dot ceo slash g WF. That's
Speaker 1: Apple dot c o slash g w F. Where are
Speaker 1: you in terms of like a woman's pleasure and how
Speaker 1: much do you care about it? Uh? Like some that
Speaker 1: are like obsessed with a woman coming first, or like
Speaker 1: truly or a guy that's just like well, it's like
Speaker 1: it's like it's always important to me that it happens
Speaker 1: for them, But like I can't act like thanks, yeah no,
Speaker 1: but like I can't act like I don't haven't popped
Speaker 1: before they've popped, yeah, So like you know, then I
Speaker 1: just finish them off however they want to be finished
Speaker 1: my mouth or my finger right, but I actually prefer that.
Speaker 1: I mean, like if I come first then and they
Speaker 1: don't get off, you know, like I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 1: give me like two seconds and I'm gonna like two seconds,
Speaker 1: well whatever, you know, like let me rest my eyes.
Speaker 1: Just let me rest my eyes for about eight hours.
Speaker 1: But I am not envious of straight men or gay
Speaker 1: women in that I don't know how to vagina is
Speaker 1: just so different than every other vigia. Like vaginas are
Speaker 1: just so unique and you don't know. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think you guys think that, but not as unique as
Speaker 1: you think they are. Really yeah, like I mean they are,
Speaker 1: but they're not like it's not like one's a Maserati
Speaker 1: and one's a Honda Civic. You know, like there's still
Speaker 1: what I was told was trying to make you feel special.
Speaker 1: I ain't getting I'm getting funny, No. I mean, like
Speaker 1: it's not like it's impossible to figure one out. If
Speaker 1: you get if you can figure one out, you can
Speaker 1: kind of figure out the other ones. You just I
Speaker 1: think you need to take your time. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's like you know what I mean, like, but it's
Speaker 1: like just pay attention to what you're doing. And you'll
Speaker 1: get there eventually. I'm not saying it comes. I think
Speaker 1: that's what I think. Really. You know, like if if
Speaker 1: she twitches her hip a little bit when I go
Speaker 1: down on her, that's probably a good sign. Yet trying
Speaker 1: to pet a dog and you need to find out
Speaker 1: where the spot's gonna make their life. And I will
Speaker 1: never make that comparison. You. Yeah, but that's what I think.
Speaker 1: You know, and you read the language. Yeah, but uh,
Speaker 1: you know also for sure have come up snake eyes
Speaker 1: on some road first crack out her come yeah, or
Speaker 1: like if I've hooked up with someone and then just
Speaker 1: like you know, like it's been like a sloppy mess
Speaker 1: and you're just like you're just like you know, you'll
Speaker 1: just wipe each other's faces often and then it's like
Speaker 1: this just like well you're just like, well, this was
Speaker 1: clearly a thing we I thought was a good idea,
Speaker 1: and it's kind of like it wasn't, you know, like
Speaker 1: like bio diesel or like the whole like the whole
Speaker 1: tine hooking up in general wasn't a good idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it's more like you know, when you okay, put
Speaker 1: it this way, O tay A story you dance around
Speaker 1: somebody for a while like you kind of like each other,
Speaker 1: but the timing never works out, neither one who ever
Speaker 1: makes the move at the right time or the hard move,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And you finally whatever, you
Speaker 1: have too many apparrell sprits is and you you're like drinking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you describe that forty year old divorce age drink or
Speaker 1: thirty nine year old man loves to have a cocktail. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. We go out, when we go out
Speaker 1: of our space and we are criticized. Now you're an
Speaker 1: unhappy woman because you didn't have a bud light. Okay,
Speaker 1: So then you're dancing around someone drink apperall spreads and
Speaker 1: then and you're like, let's finally get you know, like
Speaker 1: you want to make They're like, okay, and then let's
Speaker 1: finally get it over with. Some of the sex I've
Speaker 1: had is get it over. Yeah, let's just see, like
Speaker 1: are we gonna And then I think when in those
Speaker 1: so in those situations, I have come up short because
Speaker 1: you're like you're trying to live up to something that's
Speaker 1: been built up. It's way too long. And they're they're like,
Speaker 1: You're like, well they liked me or flirted with me
Speaker 1: all these years because maybe they thought I would. I
Speaker 1: don't know how much they thought about sex with me,
Speaker 1: So like, how weird? Can my thing be more feeling
Speaker 1: enticing than the actual sex? Yes, well if you wait
Speaker 1: to them. I think there's like there's a point like
Speaker 1: when it like it gets hot like leading up to it,
Speaker 1: but then yes, there's a point that which you pass
Speaker 1: it and then it will never live up to the
Speaker 1: ex And I think it's also like kind of that
Speaker 1: thing of like it's easier when you're like, I'm going
Speaker 1: this person, I are going to fund like like because
Speaker 1: you're just like, let's just kind of be raw about it,
Speaker 1: and yeah, fingers end up where they may. Have you
Speaker 1: ever said like we're gonna fun and then the person
Speaker 1: was like, no, you read that wrong. Uh No, Like
Speaker 1: I've made moves and people have been like it's not
Speaker 1: like that, but never like a move so hard like
Speaker 1: when it came over, was I supposed to think, oh
Speaker 1: my god, Yeah, that's that's always fun. Have you ever
Speaker 1: had somebody like what to you is good in bed um?
Speaker 1: And Like, if I look back at my sexual history
Speaker 1: and my partners, and I could very quickly identify what
Speaker 1: like the top experience and then the lowest experience and
Speaker 1: and why like they were good like you know, and
Speaker 1: for me, it was the guy's enthusiasm and curiosity and openness,
Speaker 1: like willingness to kind of do anything. Actually I've never
Speaker 1: I've never encountered that kind of attitude with a guy
Speaker 1: and sex before in this plar just go wherever you
Speaker 1: want to be led Yeah, and it feels like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's possibilities here versus first cafeteria menu of sex, just
Speaker 1: just like we'll have potatoes. Yeah, Like, to you, what
Speaker 1: constitutes good sex and bad sex? And that's a good
Speaker 1: um up, yeah, Um, that's a good question. I guess,
Speaker 1: like it depends on the person. To me, Like, but
Speaker 1: you know, I like, um build, like a build you
Speaker 1: like like like if you're like, so I was seeing, uh,
Speaker 1: the woman I'm dating, she doesn't live in town, and
Speaker 1: I was seeing her so like there was a build
Speaker 1: and it's like she was like, I'm gonna come home
Speaker 1: from work and you'll be in my place. I'll let
Speaker 1: you into my place. And because she didn't have anybody
Speaker 1: to leave a key with, and I said great, and
Speaker 1: I knew that meant like, oh, I'm going to funk
Speaker 1: her on her lunch break, yeah, on those cues. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: But like that's also like so like a build in
Speaker 1: that way constitutes good. So it's like and then, um,
Speaker 1: I like, I don't know if this is a weird
Speaker 1: thing to say, but like less uh teeth, teeth for
Speaker 1: sure that I did have an X that I was
Speaker 1: just like Jesus Christ, you were in a relationship who
Speaker 1: had too much teeth in the blow job? Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: in the vagina, yeah, the vagina. Did you ever see that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah you're a horror Yeah yeah yeah, I thought you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a horn both No, I yeah, I like I like, um,
Speaker 1: you know what I like, it's like the second or
Speaker 1: third time you sleep or fux somebody, they keep surprising,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's a little more to them, Like
Speaker 1: they don't bust out all their moves on the first Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is like why it it's kind of like you
Speaker 1: can't reveal a full hand. Yeah, because like sometimes like
Speaker 1: it's like watching Eddie van Halen play a guitar solo
Speaker 1: or something like this is too much for anyone anymore,
Speaker 1: you know, like in all this kind of it also
Speaker 1: shows like a lack of boundaries and like a lack
Speaker 1: of patients. Yeah, and that's what I don't like it,
Speaker 1: just like let me enjoy. Yes, that's a that's a
Speaker 1: A lack of patience is a good way to put it,
Speaker 1: I think, because so that's like I'm still trying. If
Speaker 1: something's not working right away, that doesn't mean it won't,
Speaker 1: you know, like you kind of have to find It's
Speaker 1: also the big the big thing about sucking somebody for
Speaker 1: the first time is you're sucking for the first time
Speaker 1: that they don't need to be any tricks, right, No,
Speaker 1: it just you need to like bring it a little bit.
Speaker 1: But like you know, you can, Yeah, you can just
Speaker 1: be like solid effort, you know, like, yeah, I just
Speaker 1: have that sex and so long, I'm like, what is
Speaker 1: it even? What even happens? I don't even know the rhythm?
Speaker 1: It's interesting. Well, no, it's not bad. I've come back
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I had it. I
Speaker 1: had it once in like the span of a year
Speaker 1: and a half, but it was so quick and over
Speaker 1: with quickly that I don't even count it. But like
Speaker 1: the rhythm of sex is a nice and so yeah again,
Speaker 1: but like what constitute good sex is like new stuff
Speaker 1: if it's with the same person over like a period
Speaker 1: of time or sessions. It's not therapy. Uh where is it?
Speaker 1: For me? It is certainly not. It is a mechanical need. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sounds fun. Yeah, story over here. You even like sex? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. Well, I think that's interesting though, because some
Speaker 1: people don't like Well, I think it's like this thing
Speaker 1: that we all are. We're kind of like told that
Speaker 1: we have to love and it has to be like
Speaker 1: one of the most visceral needs and important things in
Speaker 1: our life, and so that if you don't feel that way,
Speaker 1: you feel like there's something wrong with you. But some
Speaker 1: people just don't like sex as much as other people,
Speaker 1: and that's totally fine. You just have to find a
Speaker 1: partner that matches up to that because otherwise someone's feelings
Speaker 1: are gonna get hurt. Well, like I think the woman
Speaker 1: I'm seeing now, it took we were friends for years
Speaker 1: and then we finally just started but like not close friends,
Speaker 1: just kind of talk here and their friends. We always like,
Speaker 1: did you always have like a thing for her? I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say I've always had a thing for I always
Speaker 1: thought she was really cute and stuff, and we became friends.
Speaker 1: You know, like it wasn't like she wasn't on my
Speaker 1: list of like I'm going to try and move it
Speaker 1: this one, you know what it would have such a
Speaker 1: list of people who you were trying to move that way. Uh,
Speaker 1: you could say, yes, I would. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I would call its not like written down but mentally
Speaker 1: people I thought that about, Yeah, that you're like that
Speaker 1: number one on the list. Davidtel for years before I
Speaker 1: was a comedian interesting, doable, doable. Yeah. No, So I
Speaker 1: guess like with somebody I'm I'm dating, like I like
Speaker 1: for it to change and be interesting, you know. But
Speaker 1: like then if it's just somebody who I might hook
Speaker 1: up once or twice, like let's just go like let's
Speaker 1: let's yeah yeah, like let's just be like you know,
Speaker 1: like yolo sex. Yeah, like really, yeah, thank you, that's
Speaker 1: a good way. But like yeah, yeah, like you could
Speaker 1: be a disgusting tay we'll never talk about it again.
Speaker 1: This sounds like way more crass than if I'm mean
Speaker 1: or two. But like if some if you don't think
Speaker 1: you're gonna hear the phrase don't do that, then that's me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like like like you wanted to be unbridled. That's what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what. Yeah. As I mentioned earlier about like I
Speaker 1: slapped someone's ass, Yeah, it's not like the first time
Speaker 1: you are like the only time you're gonna have sex
Speaker 1: with them, they're gonna be oh yeah, that's fine, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's interesting someone you might have sex with again and again,
Speaker 1: like or like go further down the road within just sex.
Speaker 1: You don't like, we punched my butt hole once or
Speaker 1: what going for the joke? Have read my but hole?
Speaker 1: But no, have you ever had a fingered just my own?
Speaker 1: Oh good for you. I'm waiting out of you masturbated.
Speaker 1: You're figuring your mind. Not actually just I was like
Speaker 1: just being a disgusting That was really because that was
Speaker 1: like Christina's Christine is reading this with this room with
Speaker 1: rose colored glasses, and I was like, it seems more
Speaker 1: like you had toilet paper on your finger and you
Speaker 1: get like a poopa or something of a medical than
Speaker 1: sexual and then finger their own butt holes and they're
Speaker 1: unapologetic about it. Yeah, whatever floats your boat, But I
Speaker 1: guess it's not. I don't think how do you know
Speaker 1: it floats your boat? If you never tried. It's true
Speaker 1: trying to be on the boat. That's true. But here's
Speaker 1: the thing. I don't think it floats my boat because
Speaker 1: no partner that I have had sex with has ever
Speaker 1: wanted to try and float my boat that way. So
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that it doesn't float your boat. It
Speaker 1: just means you have not encountered anybody who wanted to
Speaker 1: be on that boat with you. Yeah, but that makes
Speaker 1: me in my head be like, yeah, right right, what's
Speaker 1: wrong with my boat? Well, I will fit right right right,
Speaker 1: my bony prepares. I do think it's a oh. I
Speaker 1: mean when we started Guys Who Fund, I was dating
Speaker 1: the same person for a long time, and I kind
Speaker 1: of discovered the asshole in the middle of the podcast,
Speaker 1: the male asshole, and how it's got all of these
Speaker 1: amazing things inside it that you can make a guy
Speaker 1: come in a way that is beyond just coming through
Speaker 1: your dick and uh. And I gotta say, after I
Speaker 1: broke up with the X and I tried it in
Speaker 1: the real world, I was like, this is the boat
Speaker 1: I want to be only. Yeah, So for you like
Speaker 1: doing it to a guy, Yeah, I just got your
Speaker 1: motor already. Yeah, it's when a man for you to
Speaker 1: get off after you got a guy off that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I've always heard guys like my my one long
Speaker 1: term partner was really got off on the girl getting off,
Speaker 1: which there's just aces that's always gonna be a fun combo.
Speaker 1: That is always a way to get off. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's the only way I do it, but that that
Speaker 1: does work for me, Like right, and someone sits on
Speaker 1: my face and then it's you know, yeah, they're coming
Speaker 1: real hard. That's ye, Like yeah, totally. And so so
Speaker 1: I always knew of that concept with regards to straight men,
Speaker 1: to towards straight women, but I never felt it as
Speaker 1: a straight woman. And then when I melt a guy's
Speaker 1: prostay for the first time, which I know that that's
Speaker 1: phrase sounds more involved than it is. It's just ramming
Speaker 1: your finger up a guy's asshole. But you know, in
Speaker 1: a I was maybe not ramming, not ramming. That's a
Speaker 1: that's a nice We hope you enjoyed this clip with
Speaker 1: stand up comedian Shane Torres. If you want to hear
Speaker 1: the rest of the conversation, head on over to Apple
Speaker 1: dot c O slash g WF Again. That is Apple
Speaker 1: dot c O slash g WF