Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm We're sorry about last night, the anti slug Shaming Podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fuck. It's the Anti slug shaming Podcast. I'm Karen.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina. Hey, where you in Nashville? Rot Now a
Speaker 1: hotel room, Nashville. It's one thirty in the morning. Yeah
Speaker 1: it is. We gotta get up in a couple hours.
Speaker 1: I mean we have to stay up for a few more.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a nap. I'm gonna take a
Speaker 1: little cat nap. Dude, Nashville. Thank you so much to
Speaker 1: everyone who came out to the show at Yes that
Speaker 1: was awesome. And thanks for everyone who works at Zenies
Speaker 1: and the wild West Comedy Festival. We had a great time. Man,
Speaker 1: what a fun fucking comedy festival that was. Nashville is
Speaker 1: not Dude, Nashville. I didn't know, Y'all's was like Penn
Speaker 1: State the second Yeah, there's a there's a lot. It's
Speaker 1: it's more of a I thought I was gonna be
Speaker 1: like Cowboy Boots and Pies. There's that too, But there's
Speaker 1: a lot drinking culture, drinking bros. People just hanging out
Speaker 1: of windows drinking, yeah, and balconies. And then there's this
Speaker 1: thing called a pedal taverns. Oh my god. The first
Speaker 1: time I saw it, I was like corinary seeing this.
Speaker 1: Am I in a desert Thursday, like twenty girls, yeah,
Speaker 1: or on a on a bike and they're peddling. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, does that pedaling does help? Maybe that's just
Speaker 1: let's give him a task. And these girls it's like
Speaker 1: a it's a bar, okay, you know, they have like
Speaker 1: bars and pools, and then just like a like you know,
Speaker 1: like a piece of wood trolley with a table in
Speaker 1: the center. I mean that that is just from here,
Speaker 1: and then pedals and everyone's pedaling. But then there's some
Speaker 1: weird guy in the middle who is the pedal tavern
Speaker 1: wrangler Creeps McGee, who is serving drinks, probably making sure
Speaker 1: it doesn't crash, and then also definitely having sex with
Speaker 1: one or more of those everyone, and they're just drinking
Speaker 1: like these giant drinks and singing nineties classics, kind of
Speaker 1: ruining them for me. Honest, we've heard Spice Girls, we
Speaker 1: heard Backstreet Boys. Oh god, it's I guess maybe It's
Speaker 1: one of those things are when you're not on the
Speaker 1: pedal tavern, you roll your eyes, but when you're on
Speaker 1: the pedal tavern, maybe so I'm judging it without experiencing it.
Speaker 1: But that's weird. Like I feel like if I was
Speaker 1: on it and like they were playing like a Miley
Speaker 1: Cyrus song and you had a couple margaritas in me,
Speaker 1: I would be having a good tie. I guess so,
Speaker 1: But I just I was weird. It was a culture shock.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know this one because they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we went to the Johnny Cash Museum. That was really
Speaker 1: I was so excited, like delve into like the culture.
Speaker 1: We were like, we're gonna get enriched, We're gonna learn
Speaker 1: all about We're gonna see Graham Parsons and Merle Haggard
Speaker 1: and Willie Wonderful. Yes, so many plaqueer now instead forty
Speaker 1: five year old rednecks pushed me around when I'm trying
Speaker 1: use the bathroom at a bar. Yeah, I mean, we
Speaker 1: had a lot of zombie drunk people chasing after us.
Speaker 1: And then we went to an after party for the
Speaker 1: festival and then a guy, this girl comes up to
Speaker 1: Karenna I we're talking to our agent and she goes
Speaker 1: that guy over there, he wants to know what your
Speaker 1: name is, and I'm like, oh boy, here we go
Speaker 1: and I look back. It was just a guy who's
Speaker 1: just undebriated. Yeah, but I didn't know what to say,
Speaker 1: so I was like, it's Christina. And then he comes
Speaker 1: over there and then I was like how am I talking? No?
Speaker 1: In my head good, I was like, how am I
Speaker 1: gonna get this guy to go away? Because he's not
Speaker 1: he's drunk, He's not gonna. I started going into very
Speaker 1: in depth detail. I could have been on risk. It
Speaker 1: was such a well, it was such a good story
Speaker 1: with so many details about the diarrhea that I've been
Speaker 1: having for the past four days, which is true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was telling him how sometimes it's clear, but
Speaker 1: like when I'm on the toilet at eels like there's
Speaker 1: just knives going through me for twenty minutes and then
Speaker 1: like something will come out, but it's mostly liquid, like
Speaker 1: mucant things. And he was so upset and heartbroken and
Speaker 1: he walked away and I was like, success, Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was a huge victory for a women kind Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like women won then fifty still, so a lot more. Yeah, Nashville,
Speaker 1: and you tried it, didn't you try to stop a
Speaker 1: guy was like going up to this girl's car at
Speaker 1: a red light. Yeah, you know, I am from New Jersey,
Speaker 1: so sometimes I still do get in street fight. You're
Speaker 1: basically like, stop talking to harsh, want to hear you
Speaker 1: stop it? Well, because this group of guys just went
Speaker 1: up to like women at a stop light. And whether
Speaker 1: or not the women wanted to be involved in this,
Speaker 1: I know, I knew that they were to start. They
Speaker 1: were starting to like show their like boobs or whatever,
Speaker 1: and I was like, but it was they were in
Speaker 1: the car. There was something weird going on. But I
Speaker 1: was like, this is whether or not these women want
Speaker 1: the situation to happen. This situation should not be happening.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick my
Speaker 1: nose in and stop this from happening. Because it was
Speaker 1: a bunch of dudes like like crowded around this girls
Speaker 1: window while she's had a red light. And it's the
Speaker 1: kind of thing. There was two girls, and it's a
Speaker 1: kind of thing there where even even if they are
Speaker 1: sexually explorative and there's not necessarily anything wrong with like
Speaker 1: flashing people in good fun and stuff. But this was
Speaker 1: not a situation where that was good or those men
Speaker 1: deserved it, and it was just it was bad, and
Speaker 1: it was the kind of thing where they're just doing
Speaker 1: it to be like because they're like insecure and weird.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you don't. You might think you
Speaker 1: want to be showing these people your boobs, but I
Speaker 1: was like, I can assure you you do not want
Speaker 1: to be showing these people. Don't worry that. That's it.
Speaker 1: And then the and the guy so drunkenly turned around
Speaker 1: and he puts his finger up to his mouth and
Speaker 1: he goes sh men, and I was like, I am
Speaker 1: gonna fucking kill you. And then Karinnan turned into the Hulk,
Speaker 1: but it was like a purple Hulk, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't know there's a purple Hulk, and she like
Speaker 1: crushed them. It was amazing, just kidding. It didn't happen,
Speaker 1: but I wish it did. You know. There's just a
Speaker 1: lot of yelling after that, and then I had to
Speaker 1: walk away because I was like, I'm actually probably getting
Speaker 1: it attacked by one or many white people in their
Speaker 1: mid twenties, and that's scary. Hey, we made it here though,
Speaker 1: that saw it. Yeah, we're here. Yeah, we're here. I
Speaker 1: saw I was very up close in personal with your Regina. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So also, um, so you guys, you guys, Well, we
Speaker 1: don't need to retell us because we tell this later
Speaker 1: on this episode, don't we. I don't know, you'll have
Speaker 1: to keep us. Sorry, I'm I'm so out of it
Speaker 1: that how No, we couldn't have talked about that because
Speaker 1: it didn't happen yet Jesus Chrice. Okay, so well, this
Speaker 1: this recording that you're about to hear is uh the
Speaker 1: live podcast recording of Guys We Fucked at the Bell
Speaker 1: House in Brooklyn, recorded in front of three and fifty
Speaker 1: amazing fans. We sold it out. It was exciting NYC
Speaker 1: podcast Podfest. But yeah, so during that it was just
Speaker 1: been a stressful week. I got there. Christina was nice
Speaker 1: enough to have a whiskey waiting for me. I drank that.
Speaker 1: I drank two more drinks during the course of the night,
Speaker 1: a beer and then something like some kind of a
Speaker 1: mixed drink. After somehow I got so fucking drunk. I
Speaker 1: don't I remember like getting in a cab and then
Speaker 1: I mean I ended up at my house. I remember
Speaker 1: being in a cab because the next day we had
Speaker 1: at six am, we had to meet. We had to
Speaker 1: we were supposed to meet at six am. I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be Christina downtown at her apartment. I live uptown,
Speaker 1: and I wake up to the sound of Christina banging
Speaker 1: on my apartment door and shouting my name. I wake up.
Speaker 1: I am a drunk, be naked, so naked, and let's
Speaker 1: add ce not packed, d not in a cab, had
Speaker 1: to be on a flight an hour two hours, okay too,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're right, f we were far. We're actually
Speaker 1: we're that far from the airport, you know, you googled it,
Speaker 1: and we actually were closer. So we're like, oh, well
Speaker 1: that at least that pert that's that's that's the universe.
Speaker 1: That was. That was how we learned LaGuardia was closer
Speaker 1: to my apartment than yours. And so because I knew
Speaker 1: when you don't when you don't text me back and
Speaker 1: you were supposed to be and I like, when you're
Speaker 1: like running late, you text me before you're running late
Speaker 1: that you're running late. I'm always late, but I'm always
Speaker 1: communicate right exactly. And also like for a flight. I
Speaker 1: was I've never more than like five ten minutes. I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not. So I gave you, well, you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be my apertment, six thirty am. I gave you
Speaker 1: five minutes. And I was like, nope, she's am right, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: So it's five five, five thirty five. Christina, I didn't answer.
Speaker 1: Christina was like to Harlem, we go. And I was
Speaker 1: very impressed because you not only were I mean, I
Speaker 1: expect you to remember my apartment building, but you remember
Speaker 1: my apartment door, which was great. Oh yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: knew you were fifth floor because I could have been
Speaker 1: a problem. Uh and then and then yeah, I wake
Speaker 1: up Pinkerton's barking. I opened the door, but naked, I
Speaker 1: just didn't. I didn't. Also, I didn't you, like I
Speaker 1: didn't love at the people. But I just knew it
Speaker 1: was you because I was like, yeah, who else knows
Speaker 1: my name in this film? Oh yeah, because you were
Speaker 1: naked answering the door. But I was like, I heard
Speaker 1: you say I heard a girl say Karen. So I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, this has to be someone I know,
Speaker 1: because because I still want I will if it's a rapist.
Speaker 1: It's a very convinced, saying girl right, Well, when I
Speaker 1: woke up, I still didn't put in in my head.
Speaker 1: I didn't connect that the flight was happening because I
Speaker 1: was still drunk. And side note, I'm not just someone
Speaker 1: who gets drunk before flight, No, I have. I recently
Speaker 1: like lost like pretty quickly, like ten pounds and years ago,
Speaker 1: I went through a kind of a rapid weight loss.
Speaker 1: And I and I this same thing, not for a flight,
Speaker 1: but I just got rip roaring drunk off of three drinks,
Speaker 1: which should not be something that happens. And this is
Speaker 1: was three drinks over the course of many hours at night.
Speaker 1: Wasn't like shot shot shot No, and so uh yeah.
Speaker 1: So I was still drunk, not packed, and we just
Speaker 1: started throwing shipped into my suitcase. I'm not I'm naked
Speaker 1: the whole time. My pussy is like in Christina's face
Speaker 1: up because I'm bending over to get your stuff for
Speaker 1: like your bag, and then like at one point, like
Speaker 1: your vagina was in my face and I'm like, but
Speaker 1: the thing is like I was like, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to make miss the flight, either
Speaker 1: of us miss Like I was like this we have
Speaker 1: other times to worry about being modest, like this is
Speaker 1: not the time. Oh yeah. I was like, there doesn't
Speaker 1: need to be closed on my body. There's gonna be
Speaker 1: closing this fucking suitcase. So I'm like putting stuff in.
Speaker 1: Thank God, I never unpacked from any other trips I've
Speaker 1: ever been on for the like the entire course of me,
Speaker 1: the new suits, you brought your here, take this out
Speaker 1: of the place. I mean I had it out of
Speaker 1: the box at least that's true. That's true. I couldn't
Speaker 1: find my phone, and I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: we're not going to need that this weekend. I know,
Speaker 1: because when I'm like, Krint, I don't know where your
Speaker 1: phone is, I was like, are you I was wondering
Speaker 1: if you were gonna nope. I mean, we're obviously not
Speaker 1: gonna miss the trip because he couldn't find your phone.
Speaker 1: But I just I was like, you're so much better
Speaker 1: handling sudden situation. I just I'm I'm good at being late,
Speaker 1: you know. I just like, I don't know, it's like
Speaker 1: you just gotta get it done, like like in case
Speaker 1: of emergency, just like, what can we do to make
Speaker 1: this not worse than it already? Yet? You gotta put
Speaker 1: your big girl pants on or in your case, no pants,
Speaker 1: just naked pussy out and you got to pack your bags.
Speaker 1: And then I mean, and then great because we were
Speaker 1: on it was like we usually fly on the same flight,
Speaker 1: but we had to fly on different flights this time.
Speaker 1: So I'm buying myself at the delta to armenal hammered. Try.
Speaker 1: I so wish I stayed to see that. I just
Speaker 1: straight up just tried to walk through security with my
Speaker 1: like bags and my shoes are not putting it on
Speaker 1: the belt fun those belts. I don't have a bomb, okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, And also side note, I didn't take my
Speaker 1: shoes off and I was wearing my shoes that say
Speaker 1: funck on them. So then so then we would have
Speaker 1: been better if they said terrorists. So then I so
Speaker 1: then I I also, I didn't have a seat on
Speaker 1: this flight, so I somehow, yeah, you didn't, you know.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing Karin. The night before, Karl was like,
Speaker 1: we gotta get there early because I don't have a
Speaker 1: seat assignment and I need to make sure we get there.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna go to the airport earlier, like more
Speaker 1: earlier than we would normally go to the airport because
Speaker 1: I need to make sure I have a seat because
Speaker 1: it's a tiny plane. Yeah, I had a Facebook thread
Speaker 1: going about whether or not I was gonna get a seat.
Speaker 1: I had working for people tips. Yeah, I mean it
Speaker 1: was here we are ham your hammered, and your shoes
Speaker 1: in my shoes. I mean, I went to Nashville with
Speaker 1: zero pairs of underwear, zero bras. I mean, but the
Speaker 1: thing is, it's kind of like, it's just like you
Speaker 1: adapt I could be. It just really teaches me, like
Speaker 1: how simple of a life I could be leading that's
Speaker 1: your version of man and wild, Man versus wild versus wild,
Speaker 1: because it's like I had my contact lenses, my comedy notebook,
Speaker 1: and my birth control pills and what more do you need? Nothing?
Speaker 1: I didn't need anything else. And I really learned that
Speaker 1: this week. And everyone's like, how are you surviving without
Speaker 1: your phone? I'm like, you know what, I'm looking around? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were eating at times. I'm like, I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: you have nothing to look out right now. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm looking out a window and it's great. There's so
Speaker 1: look out a windows, guys, there's so detail in those trees.
Speaker 1: So then anyway, So then I finally I'm first in line.
Speaker 1: I did learn a lessoning because I was drunk, so
Speaker 1: I was being very friendly and talkative to people, and
Speaker 1: I got what you are. So when the night before
Speaker 1: this time, I know you're drunk. When we're at the
Speaker 1: bell as, You're like, tomorrow is gonna be so much fun.
Speaker 1: We're just gonna sell much fun. I was excited. I
Speaker 1: know you were, but like you don't voice it sometimes,
Speaker 1: but when you're drunk, you voices well. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, this is great because like I learned
Speaker 1: that when you talk to people, you get all sorts
Speaker 1: of information and favors. I mean just I was chatting
Speaker 1: with the guy at Delta and he put me right
Speaker 1: on the seat. I was like, oh, he was laughing
Speaker 1: at my jokes. He made his little he goes for
Speaker 1: your jokes. Who knows, I mean, he made he made
Speaker 1: his announcement, and I just like, I was just like
Speaker 1: that was really good. But I like said in a
Speaker 1: in a sassy way. He loved it. I mean he was.
Speaker 1: I was talking to the guy next to me, Uh,
Speaker 1: we were comparing flights flight prices. I was telling them
Speaker 1: that were performing at Zany's and I mean it was
Speaker 1: it was great. Then I get on the flight, uh,
Speaker 1: and I'm talking to the guy in the seat next
Speaker 1: to me, and that's never a thing I've done before.
Speaker 1: Turns out the person I am sitting next to is
Speaker 1: the only straight Asian male in the history of the
Speaker 1: world who listens to the Guys We podcast. His name
Speaker 1: is Henry. Shout out to you at least seven and
Speaker 1: other people are pausing this to write in their computer
Speaker 1: because they're also straight. I know, we're getting emails right now.
Speaker 1: He was a gem. I mean, God, was so courteously
Speaker 1: got up when I needed to vomit three times from
Speaker 1: like yeah, well, we started talking and then once we
Speaker 1: once he found out, but it was pretty early on
Speaker 1: the conversation that he found out. I was Karin from
Speaker 1: Guys We Fuck, which is you know that's and then
Speaker 1: you with your morning You're like if you only yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I explained to him kind of what happened.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was trying to sit as much
Speaker 1: towards the wind it was possible, because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure I wreak of booze, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say anything. I was like, no problem.
Speaker 1: I mean, then he asked me for a selfie at
Speaker 1: the end of the flight. I put my sunglasses on,
Speaker 1: not because I'm important, just because I was visibly intoxicated
Speaker 1: and wearing the makeup from the Bellhouse show the night before.
Speaker 1: I was gonna, you look great, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Um so yeah, but you know what we
Speaker 1: got here? Everything was great, Yeah, wonderful show. Lesson learn
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need your birth control. You contact cleanses
Speaker 1: in your comedy netbook and that's it. I mean. And
Speaker 1: I also if it's like sometimes you get on an
Speaker 1: aircraft intoxicated and you realize that this is exactly where
Speaker 1: I need to be right now because I'm sitting next
Speaker 1: to Henry, and Henry knows about guys. We fund. I mean,
Speaker 1: come on, that was great. What a story. I'm just kidding. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Come see our shows. Speaking of shows,
Speaker 1: um Saturday, which is tomorrow if you're in the New
Speaker 1: York City area, Wendy Starling and I, who has been
Speaker 1: on this podcast, are coasting our monthly show Glamor Pus
Speaker 1: at Zinc Bar in the West Village. The show is
Speaker 1: at seven thirty doors or at seven ticket link is
Speaker 1: in the description of this podcast. Glamor Plus is a
Speaker 1: fun fucking night, So if you're in town, come out,
Speaker 1: get a ticket party. And also tomorrow Saturday May if
Speaker 1: you're in Columbus, Ohio, I am going to be there
Speaker 1: with some other comics, including my boyfriend, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: be playing a show at Mikey's Late Night Slice, the
Speaker 1: downtown Columbus location. We can eat pizza with slut sauce
Speaker 1: on it, which is a thing that they have there,
Speaker 1: So I feel like I was also meant to be there.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be fun. I think the shows at nine
Speaker 1: tickets are like ten dollars. You have to buy them online.
Speaker 1: Uh there's not a ton left, so definitely get on that.
Speaker 1: It's going to be a very fun night and I'm
Speaker 1: very excited. Um. And then Monday, June at eight pm,
Speaker 1: we are doing our third Test tour date for guys.
Speaker 1: We live at Subculture Downtown on Bleaker Street. These shows
Speaker 1: are so amazing. They are fun and the first two
Speaker 1: have sold out. We're get a ticket now if you
Speaker 1: want to come. It is a fucking fun night. It
Speaker 1: is a wonderful, heartwarming, hilarious. Uh, there's ups and downs.
Speaker 1: It's really fucking fun. Yeah, I uh, we like we
Speaker 1: we bring the podcast to life. There's a bar in
Speaker 1: and I love doing these shows so much. It's very
Speaker 1: audience interactive. It's not a friend yes, who has never
Speaker 1: heard of the podcast. It's perfect. It's a perfect it's
Speaker 1: not an inside joke. They'll still love it. It's it's uh,
Speaker 1: we're not doing a live podcast recording, but we're bringing
Speaker 1: the podcast to life with the audience in it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's really, really, really fun, and you guys are also
Speaker 1: help helping us form the show that we are going
Speaker 1: to ultimately take out on the road. So it's like
Speaker 1: we actually need you there anything. Can you come? Oh man, Montreal, Canada,
Speaker 1: Holy sh it, we're coming to you in July because
Speaker 1: we are doing a live recording of Guys, we fucked
Speaker 1: at the Just for Laughs festival. Okay, we're very excited
Speaker 1: to go to Canada. Yeah. This is a super prestigious
Speaker 1: comedy festival. And I thought you just choked your laugh,
Speaker 1: but I think, yeah, but it is. It's a very
Speaker 1: nice that we were asked. And the link for tickets
Speaker 1: for all these shows is in the description of this episode. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to fucking sell Montreal out and just have
Speaker 1: it be a huge party. And then we after the
Speaker 1: shows we say hi to you, like so don't like
Speaker 1: come and then hang out with us after the show
Speaker 1: to say hi, I'll take pictures. It'll be great. I'll call,
Speaker 1: I'll prank call your people. I don't know, um speaking
Speaker 1: of people, these people are brawlers. There are people who
Speaker 1: donated eighty eight dollars or more to our guys. We
Speaker 1: fu fun. We appreciate you so much, especially you justin
Speaker 1: z Garcia and Amy Street ONNG. I know what means
Speaker 1: st is for st Amy stung because am I saying
Speaker 1: it right? I'm sorry? I love you, Orange, Caitlyn Myers
Speaker 1: your eighty eight dollars, Sure, but we love you. Joe
Speaker 1: Curry or get your finger out of my ass, Christine Turner,
Speaker 1: turn up the heat, Angelina Yugaldi, I love you. Grant
Speaker 1: wolf Folk, You're one of my best friends. Hi, how
Speaker 1: are you doing? Thanks for the money, George Fletcher. I
Speaker 1: imagine you have a wide back chair in your library.
Speaker 1: Randall M. Holmes, did you write a mystery novel? You
Speaker 1: sound like you could have. Katie Winslow, are you also
Speaker 1: related to call Winslow from my favorite family and Family
Speaker 1: Matter says, if so, I love you, but also thanks
Speaker 1: for your money. This episode of Guys We Fucked is
Speaker 1: sponsored by Blue Apron. In fucking indeed, I fucking love
Speaker 1: Blue Apron. I've we've both been cooking with it for
Speaker 1: the past couple of weeks. I mean, I think the
Speaker 1: people who are really benefiting our boyfriends, but I know
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Speaker 1: a beautiful girl cooking you dinner. Dude, Okay, I gotta
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Speaker 1: way to cook. Wow. Yeah, I was trying to be
Speaker 1: like turn on me. That was a lot a lot
Speaker 1: of I gave him, like the longest read. They were
Speaker 1: like just sixty seconds. I'm like, no, three minutes and
Speaker 1: we're like three minutes on the house. We're the worst.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm bad with money. I'm so bad with money.
Speaker 1: About the time before we add time, I always think
Speaker 1: it's a different time. Yeah, well you know what, It's
Speaker 1: all good anyway. Uh. This week's guest is an angel Uh.
Speaker 1: One of his most famous performances is that of Beyonce
Speaker 1: at Christina's birthday Glamor Push shown. He's one of the
Speaker 1: most successful drag beens in New York City. His drag
Speaker 1: name is Jada Valenciaga. The Ladies and Gentlemen. This week's
Speaker 1: guest is the one, the only William Bailey. One of
Speaker 1: us are you saying? In the Blues had a shine
Speaker 1: in a shoe in shadow and lives in red. I
Speaker 1: could do in of her teeth and that took off
Speaker 1: her head. We're looking at all that, but just only
Speaker 1: said to me with me, how do you have a
Speaker 1: going to ballad? Not negstable? Gotta let gotta take yours
Speaker 1: with the soul to God. Let it not negstable. Please
Speaker 1: talking this we fuck the anti slash sweeping yes like
Speaker 1: a racket head. Holy shit, what the fund is that Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna have a seizure. Let me just
Speaker 1: put my three drinks down. Wait one second, everybody, while
Speaker 1: I got these three drinks to beverages and at a
Speaker 1: phone that's too big for just one hand. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's so good to be here. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming and selling this shift out. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1: We love you. I didn't bring my saltines out. I
Speaker 1: have horrible diarrhea. It's true. We here today. We're on
Speaker 1: a shoot yesterday and I had to stop every twenty
Speaker 1: minutes to diarrhea in someone's toilet, right, And she said
Speaker 1: it just like that. She was like, can we hold
Speaker 1: for a beat because I need to go. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: told the crew members that I had diarrhea like twenty
Speaker 1: seven times yesterday. They're like, we get it, we're all humans.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, but it's like really bad diarrhea. And
Speaker 1: then she kept touching me and I was like, I
Speaker 1: washed my hands. I know. I had diarrhea so much
Speaker 1: that I now know how to spell the word diarrhea.
Speaker 1: So that's a lot. That's good. I like that, um,
Speaker 1: but you know, when you have diarrhea, the one good
Speaker 1: thing about it. Lose little water way. Yeah, you lose weight.
Speaker 1: It's a diuretic. I mean I'm gonna get I'm gonna
Speaker 1: gain it like tomorrow again. But like you're like this
Speaker 1: much thinner. Right. So I was feeling good, Stephen and
Speaker 1: I walked outside to Hellicap to get here, and some
Speaker 1: dude pushing a shopping cart looks at me and he
Speaker 1: goes I'm like, ah, it's it's my diarrhea body, diarrhea body.
Speaker 1: But then he didn't stop there, and then he kept going.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, that's over, thank you for my
Speaker 1: diarrhea body compliment. And then he was like, I want
Speaker 1: to shot my big black cock and your puffy and
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, that's enough. That's enough, sir.
Speaker 1: And then he kept calling me a bit and I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, you should have stopped it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I got like the most aggressive cat call I think
Speaker 1: I've ever got in my life. Stephen was there, he
Speaker 1: saw but wait he called his own cock my big
Speaker 1: black cock. Yeah. I feel like that. I thought that
Speaker 1: was just something that white people did. I didn't know
Speaker 1: black people referred to their own cocks as my big
Speaker 1: black cock, because you know, like that's when you're a
Speaker 1: really good point. When you're black, black is the norm
Speaker 1: because that's your life, because that's your cop right, and
Speaker 1: that's your So it's not like it's like this is
Speaker 1: you know, because we make it different by saying black.
Speaker 1: But like when you say, I never heard anyone this
Speaker 1: is my big pink cough, Like I've never heard anyone
Speaker 1: say that. So I feel like he was being like
Speaker 1: racist against himself in a way. God damn it. I
Speaker 1: wish you were there. I would have called him out
Speaker 1: on that, right, just be like you need to talk
Speaker 1: about self hate because well, you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't have any time. I gotta go, but good
Speaker 1: luck with that and look at the time. Well anyway,
Speaker 1: that's the big Diarrhea Open to guys. Diarrhea the sexiest
Speaker 1: podcast on iTunes. I'm on a saltine cracker diet and
Speaker 1: this is the first whiskey that I've been drinking so off.
Speaker 1: So if Christina leaves any time during the next hour
Speaker 1: and a half, it's she's shipping, Yeah, how you doing,
Speaker 1: I'm doing great? Um. So last night I was we're
Speaker 1: gonna get into sexy stuff now. I was giving my
Speaker 1: boyfriend a blow job. I did not have diarrhea for you.
Speaker 1: I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. And that that,
Speaker 1: you know, as we've said time and time again, is
Speaker 1: a job. And uh and then and then I finished, Um,
Speaker 1: he didn't finish, but I just was like, I'm done.
Speaker 1: So so I've done because I am. Yeah, I was like,
Speaker 1: and time to punch out. So I was done. Would
Speaker 1: you say to him we're done? That was you know,
Speaker 1: you know, gag me once, Shame on you, gag me twice,
Speaker 1: shame on me, right, ladies in that the trip, like,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why guys think that we like sucking cock,
Speaker 1: Like I get teary eyed when I take it too
Speaker 1: big of a bite of a Chipotle burrito and that
Speaker 1: house sour cream, so it's like me deep throating your
Speaker 1: fucking cock is not like oh oh and then so yeah,
Speaker 1: so I I just was like I'm done. And then
Speaker 1: he was just trying to be sex and he was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, you like Kevin Dix in your mouth,
Speaker 1: don't you? And I just was like no, no, I don't,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. And he goes really like he was stunned,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, who likes that, and he's like, well,
Speaker 1: most of the girls that I have had like that,
Speaker 1: and I go okay, and I was like, well, you
Speaker 1: were dating liars, so you've dated a lot of liars.
Speaker 1: And now I'm an honest person and it's time to
Speaker 1: get reality. Like, I love hard work, so I think
Speaker 1: people think that I would like giving blow jobs, but
Speaker 1: that's hard work with no benefit for me. Right. A
Speaker 1: blow job is not like a job interview. It's like
Speaker 1: a fucking internship. Oh and you don't get paid and
Speaker 1: you don't even get a lunch stupend, like I don't
Speaker 1: need credits. Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good. Everything's fine. I
Speaker 1: I hate hard work, but I love What does that say?
Speaker 1: What does that mean? Well? I think that's probably because
Speaker 1: you like to make other people happy. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: don't have any See the happiness right before your eyes,
Speaker 1: And you're like, I did that. We're happy because of me,
Speaker 1: right right right? Right? Brush shoulders off, It's all good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I'm so happy. I don't have diarrhea anywards
Speaker 1: is awesome. I feel like you really should stop talking
Speaker 1: about it because you have diarrhea of the mouth. About
Speaker 1: my time you announced that you were done with diarrhea
Speaker 1: via text to me earlier like yesterday, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: how long has it been since your last di areea?
Speaker 1: And you go twenty minutes and I was like, let's
Speaker 1: not jump the gun here. Do you want to know
Speaker 1: a secret that that wasn't the last one? I was like,
Speaker 1: if it saysn't involve diarrhea, I would love to know
Speaker 1: that secret. How it does? I did it like eight
Speaker 1: more times all night. How are you even standing to
Speaker 1: the doctor and the sexy man put his hands on
Speaker 1: my billy and I was like ok um, and then
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, you have you have food poisoning. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, cool, Like why did I have it
Speaker 1: for so long? He's like because you kept eating like
Speaker 1: you didn't have food poison it. And I was like,
Speaker 1: got point, gut point, gut point right, you should be
Speaker 1: a doctor this medical clinic. So um, I know you guys.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you guys are fans of the podcast and
Speaker 1: you listen to before. But there was dead silence. Nope, no,
Speaker 1: I don't like you. We just love go on U.
Speaker 1: Is anybody in here I want to interview for that?
Speaker 1: Does anybody in here have anything that they want to
Speaker 1: work through in front of everybody on the stool. We'll
Speaker 1: move our eight drinks. Yeah here, there's staying. The stairs
Speaker 1: are over here? Are there stairs over here? Oh good,
Speaker 1: there weren't stairs over there, So let's move our beverages.
Speaker 1: And the crowd talked amongst ourselves. What will happen? Will
Speaker 1: she regret this? I don't know. Take take take the seat.
Speaker 1: You look so pretty. Not that doesn't matter. I was like,
Speaker 1: but even if you didn't, we would still solve your problem,
Speaker 1: just like if you were not pretty or pretty, just
Speaker 1: like if you were pretty. What's your name? I'm Selena? Hi, Selena, Hi, Hi? Hello?
Speaker 1: What's going on in your life? How do you I'm
Speaker 1: twenty one? Oh you young? I know than I. It's
Speaker 1: a good time right on demographic everyone's writing us emails.
Speaker 1: You helped us so much. I'm like, you're white and
Speaker 1: in your twenties everything was anyway, no spoiler alert, it'll
Speaker 1: be okay. Oh I'm sorry, Selena. What's your problem? What's
Speaker 1: your problem? I'm sure you have a problem worse than
Speaker 1: everybody's problem. Jeff hasn't texted her back. No. My question
Speaker 1: for you guys, I've actually talked to my friend before this,
Speaker 1: like I need to find a question, and I found it.
Speaker 1: I searched deep down. Wouldn't you like to know? Um?
Speaker 1: And I was I'm currently in this stage in my
Speaker 1: life at twenty one as a white girl. I was
Speaker 1: wondering because I'm currently finding the dichotomy of being someone
Speaker 1: who self identifies gladly as a slut. But also I
Speaker 1: really like this person and it's like, do I sleep
Speaker 1: with them right away? Or well she does? Or do
Speaker 1: I wait? Um? And it's like, I really like this person.
Speaker 1: I want them to know that. I'm like, I'm down
Speaker 1: for anything, but I also don't want them to think
Speaker 1: I'm right. Does that person like you? Or do they
Speaker 1: hate you? Because you were used the word dichotomy, I
Speaker 1: actually like that you use the word dichotomy. I was gonna,
Speaker 1: I was gonna, you know, applaud you on that, but
Speaker 1: I didn't know we were dictating a thesis paper. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm currently in college and I have finals this week,
Speaker 1: so you know this is where I'm at. Yeah, things,
Speaker 1: I'm really brave. Have you Have you done this method
Speaker 1: in the past, though, where you sleep with someone a
Speaker 1: way and it doesn't work. Out or you wait, it
Speaker 1: does okay, yes, so what does this How does this
Speaker 1: person feel towards you? Um, we have been talking for
Speaker 1: a while, we've aggressively made out, like bruised afterwards? Um
Speaker 1: uh what, I've never gotten bruised after making out. We're
Speaker 1: punch in the face almost close. I say, run away,
Speaker 1: I'm into it. Where were the bruises? Um? Neck o body?
Speaker 1: There was some choking, so, you know, but making out
Speaker 1: he chokes you? Yeah, okay, but you like that, you
Speaker 1: wanted really like? Okay, then that's my coworker made the
Speaker 1: observation that at one and I realized that I like
Speaker 1: being this aggressive. It's a very bad sign for my future.
Speaker 1: It's a great Oh. I thought we had lessons about
Speaker 1: the word bossy and stuff. I think that would be
Speaker 1: included in that. It's fine, you're just an independent, strong
Speaker 1: woman who likes all right, we don't need that. They're gone.
Speaker 1: So what do you guys think about if you really
Speaker 1: like someone? Do you sleep with them right away? Or
Speaker 1: do you wait a little bit? Okay? Yeah, okay, from
Speaker 1: my experience, waiting doesn't do shit. From my experience, okay,
Speaker 1: and I I was with I fucking bring Stephen every
Speaker 1: other second. But with Stephen, I was the rebound. He
Speaker 1: had just gotten out of two and happy relationship. Ten
Speaker 1: days later, we started like hooking up and uh, the
Speaker 1: second time we ever hung out, we were in a
Speaker 1: cab on the way back to my apartment and I
Speaker 1: was like, weach inn't that sex because I was drunk
Speaker 1: and he wasn't, and he's like, yeah, we should, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you don't have sex with me sex?
Speaker 1: And then we had sex, and then five years later
Speaker 1: here we are, So I don't. I don't. Some guys
Speaker 1: are different with the respect. The guy loses respect for
Speaker 1: you because you sleep with him right away. It's not
Speaker 1: a guy you want to take. Yeah, it goes, it
Speaker 1: goes both ways, I think. I mean with my current
Speaker 1: boyfriend James, I did wait. I mean when I say wait,
Speaker 1: I mean the first state I drank before logo and
Speaker 1: let him eat my pussy. So that's that's my idea
Speaker 1: of waiting. But there was about night. But then the
Speaker 1: thing was like there was no sex for like five
Speaker 1: or six hangouts after until I was like Thanksgiving Eve
Speaker 1: and we were in my apartment and I was just like,
Speaker 1: are we gonna funk or is there something wrong with me? Either?
Speaker 1: Like what do you fuck me? Yeah? I was just
Speaker 1: like I was like, did my pussy smell? I was like,
Speaker 1: I feel like it didn't because I tasted and smelled
Speaker 1: on the rag. But um. But then with I mean,
Speaker 1: but then with Frank, like he came to my twenty
Speaker 1: five birthday party and you didn't know him that well
Speaker 1: at that point, right, Yeah, and we had sex. I
Speaker 1: mean I didn't remember. I was black out drunk, but
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends did see it because I
Speaker 1: because I was living in a room with a window
Speaker 1: that was on the inside Brooklyn Um and so you
Speaker 1: didn't have a window in your room? Yeah, well I had,
Speaker 1: like because I lived in like some fucking weird converted
Speaker 1: industrial loft on Kent Avenue, and uh it was like
Speaker 1: a I lived in like a treehouse for adults. It
Speaker 1: was awesome. Yeah. And when I say adults, I mean
Speaker 1: my roommate was in the closet and work cape on ironically,
Speaker 1: so um and anyway, I digress. But yeah, so that
Speaker 1: and then even know we did it for two years.
Speaker 1: I mean he did don't meet a Panera bread but
Speaker 1: you know, we all know that. And now we're here
Speaker 1: so maybe you can go for like a cozy ra lapone.
Speaker 1: How long have you guys been hanging out though? About
Speaker 1: a month now? Oh? I mean do you want to
Speaker 1: have sex with him? Now? Very much? Yeah? You should
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, he also wants to have sex with you,
Speaker 1: I believe, so yeah, I think you should do it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. What do you say, audience? Does
Speaker 1: she do it? Yeah? If they if that feels right
Speaker 1: to you, because I understand the notion of wanting to wait,
Speaker 1: I've done that before. It's fine, Like if you want
Speaker 1: to wait, you wait. But if you waited not long
Speaker 1: enough and he's also into it, fuck him? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's actually what are we been talking about right now?
Speaker 1: I thought she was gonna say it's been like a week,
Speaker 1: you know that. The complicate aspect of is that we
Speaker 1: work together, and so he's being going to bring up
Speaker 1: that party. But I had a black her, like, what
Speaker 1: do you do? We are servers? Oh, everybody, it's fine,
Speaker 1: it's not a fortune five hunch. Think Okay, how will
Speaker 1: I ever find another serving job in New York? Cool?
Speaker 1: So you shouldn't totally do it. So the next time
Speaker 1: we work together, I'm gonna suck the ship out of him.
Speaker 1: Thank yeah, right to tell us about it at work, work,
Speaker 1: after work. Okay, yeah, all right, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you well yeah, thanks for
Speaker 1: me in a good sport than ever. Thank you so much. Oh.
Speaker 1: I want to take a second to give a birthday
Speaker 1: shout out to one of my v I g s
Speaker 1: and that stands for very important gays. Mike Frye. Where
Speaker 1: I Where are you? Mike? Happy birthday? Happy? Just kidding.
Speaker 1: I buy him a lot of drinks, but he's right there.
Speaker 1: We know where is. He's by the bar where all
Speaker 1: my friends will always be. So just what's your favorite drink, Mike? Perfect?
Speaker 1: There we go. Someone buy them for him. I hope
Speaker 1: you like well tequila? All right? Yeah, okay, okay, you
Speaker 1: raise your hand very quickly, get up here? Perfect? Can
Speaker 1: I by tattoo? Okay? I look at that lip ring?
Speaker 1: Oh what's your name? Rachel? Hi, Rachel, Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly nervous to me meeting you too. Um, what's
Speaker 1: going on? So I have a question about singled them?
Speaker 1: I guess, um, because I have wanted to, like spend
Speaker 1: several years being single. But I really like sex obviously, um,
Speaker 1: because it's great. But I find that every time that
Speaker 1: I need somebody and the sex is really great, I
Speaker 1: want to keep having it with them, And then I
Speaker 1: developed feelings for them, and then I like break this
Speaker 1: idea of single them and feel like I haven't found
Speaker 1: myself in my twenties yet because of it. How I'm
Speaker 1: so lost? You know this common theme. When I was
Speaker 1: twenty one, I was like, the world doesn't understand me. Uh,
Speaker 1: and you do feel fucking long. I mean honestly, until
Speaker 1: I was twenty seven twenty I'm like, this year or
Speaker 1: maybe is when I finally feel like I had my
Speaker 1: ship together. Sorry, You're like, no, no, it's not like
Speaker 1: a rough road. It's an exciting road because you learn
Speaker 1: who you are. And I think that if you you
Speaker 1: like being single. But whenever anybody plans like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be single for like three years or I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: a husband by like whatever, this year is, whatever the
Speaker 1: funk it is, it doesn't matter. It never is gonna.
Speaker 1: It rarely works out that way. And I think the
Speaker 1: second that you're like, I'm cool with me. I like
Speaker 1: being single, and then you meet somebody, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, damn it right, I was single for four years,
Speaker 1: and I mean that was definitely the universe deciding that
Speaker 1: on my behalf. So well, that's what I was thinking
Speaker 1: about too, is like you were thinking about how lonely
Speaker 1: I wanted to. I was like, you don't want to
Speaker 1: buy ticket because that's friends. She needs a friend. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go, and because that's what girls. Seriously before she
Speaker 1: fox that pit bull that she lives with. Please, oh no,
Speaker 1: that was the one thing that went too far. The
Speaker 1: hippo and idn't got a pit bull, Pierson said, hippo.
Speaker 1: Just so you know, Pinkerton has more fans than anyone
Speaker 1: involved with the guys like podcast. I feel like I
Speaker 1: have to get in though, some kind of a protection program.
Speaker 1: He answers the door by himself. I'm like, don't do that.
Speaker 1: You never know who could be you're going to get you.
Speaker 1: So you when you have sex with someone, you developed
Speaker 1: feelings right away. No, it's like it's it's several I
Speaker 1: mean it's several months usually into having sex with it.
Speaker 1: Because you're not a monster. Yeah, you have the same
Speaker 1: person so many times in a row. You're sucking it up. Well,
Speaker 1: do you ever have like a couple of people on rotate. Yeah. Yeah, usually,
Speaker 1: but then like sometimes like right now I'm dating somebody,
Speaker 1: um because the sex is so good and I just
Speaker 1: like started, you know, yeah, do you like him as
Speaker 1: a person? I don't know. That's problem. We get that
Speaker 1: a lot. Like the sex is so good. I know
Speaker 1: what you will have. You will find somebody that you
Speaker 1: are fucking obsessed with and fascinated by and the sexes
Speaker 1: mind blowing. So don't settle. That's like the main thing.
Speaker 1: Do you never never never settle. So if you think
Speaker 1: he's okay, great, the sex is good, but move on, Like, hey,
Speaker 1: you jumped right to he. I was like, okay, sure,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say. I don't know. Could he kind
Speaker 1: of I don't know. I don't like ouch you No, No,
Speaker 1: it's okay. It could be both, you know. Wait are
Speaker 1: you bisexually? Am? Yeah? Okay, yeah, actually got that rate perfect? Okay.
Speaker 1: I was just but are you dating a exclusively men
Speaker 1: right now? Are you doing both? No? I'm I date
Speaker 1: there is definitely there's so many options for you. Stay single, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: stay single until you find that person who blows you
Speaker 1: out of the water with their personality and their soul,
Speaker 1: and then the sex is also mind blowing. Don't settle one, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't settle. Well, are you doing stuff with your career?
Speaker 1: Or I mean, are you serving or you know hi Selena? No,
Speaker 1: I actually I actually work with him too in the
Speaker 1: pen and the coming Wait wait wait wait wait wait
Speaker 1: wait wait? What what we all serve at the same
Speaker 1: I work with him. Oh you were the guy? I
Speaker 1: was like, for God's sake to someone by a group
Speaker 1: on from a steakhouse. I thought she meant that they
Speaker 1: also work together. No, I'm from back Okay, okay, so
Speaker 1: you work with the guy? Okay, yeah, I work with
Speaker 1: him in Iowa? Actually so yeah? Or you live in Iowa.
Speaker 1: I live in Iowa. Yeah, dude, don't settle. No, don't settle.
Speaker 1: You can't settle an Iowa man. You gotta keep going.
Speaker 1: Packer Barracks moved to where you really want to be.
Speaker 1: So here, which I can't imagine is Iowa. And then
Speaker 1: and then someone there how many hot women and men
Speaker 1: there are in this city. I mean I've seen several today.
Speaker 1: You got it. Move here, move here, you should move here.
Speaker 1: That's my advice. Okay, but don't don't settle good, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for talking. Don't usk. Wow, we really
Speaker 1: we really, I feel like we've just really changed the world.
Speaker 1: So cancer Schmancer one. Girl's not sad about being single anymore.
Speaker 1: We've wait, isn't that justin Bieber song one less Known?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, yeah, it absolutely is. That's our motto. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: thank you, Yes, that's you're a good supportive friend. Patter.
Speaker 1: That was good. Thank you. You're very like her. Why
Speaker 1: don't you make out with her? She's cute, so cute,
Speaker 1: great bangs like not here, I'm not being cook. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to encourage making out at the show. But
Speaker 1: after that's fine. She would bring out our guests. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do I have lipstick here? No? No, no, I hit
Speaker 1: myself with the microphone. I got lipstick on my nose earlier.
Speaker 1: I'm like, who funk gets lipstick on their notes? Like,
Speaker 1: it's just me, It's just me. So I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys remember a while back, I talked about
Speaker 1: a birthday party that I had at the monthly show
Speaker 1: I host Glamor Plus, where Karin surprised me with New
Speaker 1: York City's number one Beyonce impersonator. That was a fact
Speaker 1: I mean about myself. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's true.
Speaker 1: Um it is. So we have that person as our guest.
Speaker 1: We're like, who can work a realm with three fifty
Speaker 1: without Betton and eyelash trag queen. Yes, so we're gonna
Speaker 1: bring him out. We're gonna talk and then we got
Speaker 1: a little a performance for you, and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk some more. There's a lot of stuff going on,
Speaker 1: so yeah, all right, so let's bring them out. Will
Speaker 1: get up? Hi, Hi, Hello, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us. Thank you, it's great to be here. This
Speaker 1: is amazing, Brooklyn. You know I don't I don't come out.
Speaker 1: He did his makeup in the fucking cap did I
Speaker 1: didn't look like this? Like it's fucking perfect? How did
Speaker 1: you learn? How did you makeup? M That's just one
Speaker 1: of those things where you practice and you watch YouTube videos.
Speaker 1: I watch all those. I love you. Your face is
Speaker 1: a fucking canvas. Only only difference is you can actually
Speaker 1: wipe it off. So you can't wipe up a canvas.
Speaker 1: Well you can get another canvas, so bitching about to
Speaker 1: pay for one, so might as well use my goddamn face.
Speaker 1: Oh William William came up as Beyonce and it was
Speaker 1: a complete surprise. He you fucking did the roots to
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl routine to a fucking tea. I started
Speaker 1: crying and shaking. She the bitch thought she was actually
Speaker 1: at a Beyonce concert. Uh I did. And then at
Speaker 1: the end, meanwhile, you're with and you like, did you don't?
Speaker 1: I said, She's up here shaking and crying and I'm
Speaker 1: up here to tequila ginger rails in trying to dance
Speaker 1: on a fucking rug by a piano, saying Lord, Jesus,
Speaker 1: please just let me get through this number without breaking.
Speaker 1: I got damn ankle and I look in the front
Speaker 1: and she's sitting there crying, and I go, well, I'm
Speaker 1: doing something right, Jesus, Lord, have mercy on my starry
Speaker 1: true artist will And in true fucking fashion, I finished
Speaker 1: and I got on the microphone like the drunk drag
Speaker 1: queen that I was. Yeah, and she was still crying,
Speaker 1: and I said, girl, you do realize I'm not Beyonce, right,
Speaker 1: And I was just hot enough to snatch the fucking
Speaker 1: wig off my head and get my ass in the
Speaker 1: back and reglue it for pictures. I'm still nervous sitting
Speaker 1: next to you. Why are you so nervous? I'm not
Speaker 1: even I don't even have titties on right now, girl,
Speaker 1: So how do you I'm twenty seven years old this year.
Speaker 1: Get a round of a pal Yeah, because I'm damn
Speaker 1: good ship? Yeah? What made you want to do drag? Um?
Speaker 1: Like any other faget in New York City who's doing
Speaker 1: drag right now? It all started in college at a
Speaker 1: Halloween party. Listen, I'm not one of those people. Just
Speaker 1: to preface this, I'm not one of those people who's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I'm so offended by the word faggot.
Speaker 1: I'm so listen. I use it frequently, just like I
Speaker 1: used hunt. If you're being one, I'm gonna call you
Speaker 1: one and a story. Sorry, I took my dick for
Speaker 1: a living. What you do? You're nine to five bitch
Speaker 1: whose life is headed downhill faster. I never want to
Speaker 1: be on your bed You will never be on my bedside.
Speaker 1: We have a special connection. So we described this Halloween party, Well,
Speaker 1: I just moved to New York City to go to
Speaker 1: I don't know if any of you know AMDAH, the
Speaker 1: American Musical Dramatic Academy I just moved there from I'm
Speaker 1: from Kent Say, Missouri. First of all, yes, I'm from
Speaker 1: the Midwest. Um, I just moved here to I know,
Speaker 1: and Jesus no, no, um, I just moved here. So obviously,
Speaker 1: if you're growing up in Kansas City, Missouri, it's not
Speaker 1: well it's a little bit more gay friendly, but back
Speaker 1: then it was not. So I wouldn't walk down the
Speaker 1: street looking at this fabulous Now, have you ever experienced
Speaker 1: an incident where you were growing up where someone's like
Speaker 1: or something. Oh, I went to high school with all
Speaker 1: of that. But you know what, it's so amazing that
Speaker 1: I had such a strong upbringing. I was raised by
Speaker 1: my mother, single mother, and yes, give it up for
Speaker 1: single boss child. There's nothing like a single mother raising
Speaker 1: her own fucking kid and not given two funks to
Speaker 1: the father. But we're not gonna start off. Um. So
Speaker 1: watching her, I was like, Okay, I'm just as fucking
Speaker 1: stubborn as she is. I refused to go home and
Speaker 1: weep and try to commit suicide because so and so
Speaker 1: said this, that and the other about me. That's never
Speaker 1: been the kind of person that I am, and it's
Speaker 1: never gonna be the kind of person that I will be.
Speaker 1: I was like, what I can do is move the
Speaker 1: funk out of Missouri and makes something out of myself.
Speaker 1: There you go and here I am. Now, no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: So I moved here, and um, I kind of just
Speaker 1: gott into the drag gig. I also do theater. She's
Speaker 1: a car carrying equity member, you know. And what were
Speaker 1: there in the shock though moving from a place that
Speaker 1: didn't accept I had the apple bottom jeans packed ready
Speaker 1: to go, so you knew what to expect. Yes, we
Speaker 1: took a It was the first trip that we ever
Speaker 1: took to New York City coming from Missouri, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I can't wait to move here.
Speaker 1: I actually cried when we have to leave. When we
Speaker 1: had to leave, I was, how old were you when
Speaker 1: you first visited? That was my sophomore year of high school,
Speaker 1: so I was right. I feel like in high school.
Speaker 1: I was walking around Union, New Jersey like I don't
Speaker 1: I was like just with blinders on, like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't wait. I had an oversized shirt with baggy jeans
Speaker 1: and a belt buckle that had my name spelled in it.
Speaker 1: That's what I wore with a fade you couldn't tell
Speaker 1: her that she wasn't walking down the street looking like
Speaker 1: trade tell me no. But um, I moved here and
Speaker 1: I had a good time, and I like to consider
Speaker 1: myself one of the top drag queens in New York City.
Speaker 1: I've had a good run. And then I go back
Speaker 1: and I look at all these people from high school,
Speaker 1: the ones who tormented me, and they're bald, and they
Speaker 1: look miserable, and they have kids, and they're fat, And
Speaker 1: I go, you picked up all the weight that I
Speaker 1: had in high school. I was two hundred pounds with
Speaker 1: an afro and glasses and five ft two. I was
Speaker 1: basically an ewalk But I moved here and went to
Speaker 1: a school where they don't have a meal plan, took
Speaker 1: a lot of dance classes, lost my glasses and got cute,
Speaker 1: and learned how to wear makeup. And here I am today,
Speaker 1: sitting on stage with So. I said, Okay, I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try drag. So, you know, in true fashion,
Speaker 1: we go to the Spirit Halloween store that's right down
Speaker 1: the street from US Classic. I said, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: want to. No, I don't like that that she's real skinny.
Speaker 1: Where's the plus size shit at. Oh, okay, there's a
Speaker 1: plus size little red riding hood outfit. I'll take that.
Speaker 1: So oh yes, oh yes, fat as fick in a
Speaker 1: little red riding hood costume. I said, okay, well, here
Speaker 1: we go, kids, put on an afro wig with bangs
Speaker 1: and the red bandanna, and pumped my way through the
Speaker 1: fucking costume party. I said, oh, this is fun. I'm
Speaker 1: living my full life, my feet heart, but I don't care.
Speaker 1: I'm having a good time. Yes, work, work, work, work,
Speaker 1: year old white girl in New York City. Yes, boy,
Speaker 1: I'd all right. So that was my first experience with drag.
Speaker 1: And then I graduated and everything, and I said, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I don't really feel like having a waiting job. So
Speaker 1: I went to go work at Magnolia Bakery. Work in
Speaker 1: those two semesters to lose all that fucking weight, and
Speaker 1: I take my fat ass to go ice cupcakes and
Speaker 1: I got damn bakery. Nice tell me the fucking irony
Speaker 1: in that anyway. So going to Magnolia Bakery, I worked
Speaker 1: with a lot of people who are like in the
Speaker 1: Vogue ballroom scene, who you know, doing what ballroom scene?
Speaker 1: You know? They were no, no, no no, I know what
Speaker 1: dad is. I just didn't know why they were at Magnolia.
Speaker 1: They all work at Magnolia. They were also working actors,
Speaker 1: but they were also in the ballroom scene, so it's
Speaker 1: it was one of those things where they would show
Speaker 1: up to work and they would have like full like
Speaker 1: boy beat on, full makeup like I'm wearing right now.
Speaker 1: They'd have like their hair and some like outrageous style,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, you still have
Speaker 1: to wear a hat or a hair net. So exactly,
Speaker 1: I was like, put me at the fucking cash register.
Speaker 1: I ain't covering this ship up. I worked too hard
Speaker 1: to put it on. So I started hanging out with
Speaker 1: these people, and I'm like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: so much fun. I started doing, like experimenting with makeup
Speaker 1: and doing going to all these different balls and having fun,
Speaker 1: and like, pretty soon I found that family. Every every
Speaker 1: gay person in New York City, I don't care who
Speaker 1: you are, has that one group of gays that they
Speaker 1: hang out with, sometimes to the point where it's so
Speaker 1: fucking disgusting that you coordinate your outfits. So me and
Speaker 1: my group of people would be like, okay, bitch is
Speaker 1: animal theme night. This is what we're gonna do, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a snow leoper bit and you're gonna
Speaker 1: be a zebra and we're gonna tear it up and
Speaker 1: we're gonna that's so much more fun than you. Laugh.
Speaker 1: If any of you go and friend me on Facebook
Speaker 1: and you look in one of those good old fucking
Speaker 1: albums of mine in the past, I have leopard print
Speaker 1: eyeshadow all around on the side of my face with
Speaker 1: black net. You couldn't tell me I wasn't cute, bitch,
Speaker 1: Don't tell me it's true. The New York is the
Speaker 1: place where you find your second family. I mean, I
Speaker 1: am not gay, but I like to think of myself
Speaker 1: as an honorary gay person, and I certainly found a family.
Speaker 1: Part of my gay family is right over there who who. Honestly,
Speaker 1: if I had not had them, I would not be
Speaker 1: sitting on the steae. They paid for yels when I
Speaker 1: was too broke to do, you know, eat anything, fucking man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just I mean not that my real family is awesome,
Speaker 1: but they, you know, they didn't understand that. Can't always
Speaker 1: understand what you're going through as as a talk show host,
Speaker 1: or as an actor, or as a drunk person who
Speaker 1: needs a cabrite home right, that that too, but we
Speaker 1: leave that out, we leave that part out. Well, I
Speaker 1: just gave you money. I was like, I'm sorry I
Speaker 1: used it on the phone bill. No, damn well, you
Speaker 1: spent it on ag Kila Ginger as a rock, homes
Speaker 1: is black Out Drown I only saying that. No, my
Speaker 1: mom doesn't know about podcasts like that. Does she know that?
Speaker 1: Does your mom know that you do drag? She went
Speaker 1: shopping with me for my first wig? Awesome? Yes, And
Speaker 1: let me tell you something, as a drag queen, to
Speaker 1: have a mother who fucking supports you like that. Who
Speaker 1: is that fucking down that she's gonna go into the
Speaker 1: wig store and shot with you for your first wig?
Speaker 1: Is everything? Granted, she fucking fought me on it me
Speaker 1: that the best. That's exactly what the fun she's said.
Speaker 1: She's still a mom, That's exactly. I just don't see it.
Speaker 1: What were you trying? You can't see it because I'm
Speaker 1: standing here with a five o'clock shadow with somebody as
Speaker 1: sweats on. I was like, just by the wig and
Speaker 1: let me prove. She's like, you know what five I
Speaker 1: look into the future. So she bought it. We went
Speaker 1: back home. I went and I shaved, I put on
Speaker 1: the face, then I put it on the wig. Nobody anything,
Speaker 1: just hear up. I said, this is what it looks like.
Speaker 1: And she just looked at me and she gave me
Speaker 1: that proud mother smile like she said, I say yes
Speaker 1: to the wig. And she literally looked at me. She goes,
Speaker 1: you look like a fucking woman. Best compliment ever when
Speaker 1: you're a drag queen. I said, yes, winning, winning, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, that's amazing. How many wigs do you own
Speaker 1: at this point? Fair? How like Kanye West has a
Speaker 1: lot of shoes in his closet. You know I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't let it get that far because, um, because
Speaker 1: you have to keep them on at mannequin. Right, you
Speaker 1: don't have to keep him on a mannequin. But there's
Speaker 1: only so much fucking room in the New York City
Speaker 1: apartment you can keep a bunch of wigs. Were not
Speaker 1: like a head mannequin there. I've bought a majority of
Speaker 1: my wigs, and then a lot have been donated to
Speaker 1: me by one miss Bianca del Rio. Why shout out, um,
Speaker 1: I'm I've worked with miss Bianca. Do listen that's another
Speaker 1: thing y right there. I know a lot of these
Speaker 1: drag Race queens because I've worked with them in the past,
Speaker 1: Like I've had the honor and the privilege of working
Speaker 1: with Bianca del Rio and Lady Bunny and um Milan
Speaker 1: from drag Race Um and just keep saying yes. And
Speaker 1: then I run into because I also work with a
Speaker 1: guy who's also associated with making the parties for drag
Speaker 1: Race and everything, and so I work. Yes, I work
Speaker 1: with Branddad, I work for Brandon. Excuse me, he's gonna
Speaker 1: hear it isn't fire. Yeah, I work for Brand. Hit
Speaker 1: you before we all do. Everyone has a kind of
Speaker 1: work work. Listen, listen, listen. I love me some Brandon,
Speaker 1: I really do. But that will be the goddamn day
Speaker 1: here on the six o'clock news, drag queen kills seventeen
Speaker 1: people after a white man smacks the ship out of her.
Speaker 1: Now one on the more on the more serious end
Speaker 1: with drag queens. I know there's a lot of people,
Speaker 1: not a lot, that live in New York City, but
Speaker 1: when you go outside of this liberal, wonderful bubble and
Speaker 1: you go to the suburbs and stuff, they're like, well,
Speaker 1: what's the difference between brands and drag queens. I don't
Speaker 1: get it. Like people, when you're in drag, do you
Speaker 1: want people to refer to you as her? Or do
Speaker 1: you give a ship or your name or and then
Speaker 1: when you're not in drag, what's that? That question depends
Speaker 1: on the queen themselves. Like if there's a queen who's
Speaker 1: given like what I'm giving right now, it's well not
Speaker 1: really androgyny, but um, if there's like an androgynous drag queen,
Speaker 1: she or he may feel compelled to be like, you
Speaker 1: can call me he or you can call me she
Speaker 1: me if I'm in drag, like if I'm in my heels,
Speaker 1: in my wig and I put the like I took
Speaker 1: the effort to tuck my dick in my asshole and
Speaker 1: put on a bra and two pairs of socks and
Speaker 1: each titty, then yes, I need you to call me
Speaker 1: and she because you worked for it exactly. Don't call
Speaker 1: me by my boy name while I'm in drag. It's
Speaker 1: not cute and it might gives you punched in the face.
Speaker 1: I was like, you forget. Yes, yes, I am a
Speaker 1: drag queen and I am a gender delusionist. But there's
Speaker 1: still a man underneath all of this makeup, hair and wigs,
Speaker 1: and I will rock your fucking world. Wow. Now, have
Speaker 1: you ever had an instance where you're in full drag
Speaker 1: and someone refers you as he or William and you
Speaker 1: get mad? But like a lot of people, like even
Speaker 1: with trans people create and I've had this conversation before.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I can't. I get the pronouns wrong, But I
Speaker 1: don't mean I'm not trying to be an asshole. I
Speaker 1: just don't. I don't. I'm confused because we've interviewed somebody
Speaker 1: who appeared as a woman but identified as a man,
Speaker 1: and his name was Lauren and he was working awesome.
Speaker 1: But like I got a little confused with the pronouns
Speaker 1: and I felt horrible. But I didn't mean out of
Speaker 1: the mind fucking itself, because Lauren is one of those
Speaker 1: names where it can be a man or a woman. Well,
Speaker 1: but what do you do? Do you understand the when
Speaker 1: people I don't mean it or yes, it's that's also
Speaker 1: another asshole. I've been doing drag for probably five or
Speaker 1: six years now, and um, that comes with knowing a
Speaker 1: person who doesn't know any better, or who is you know,
Speaker 1: still trying to figure out do I call her him
Speaker 1: and he she ever, and I'll go Williams not here,
Speaker 1: leave your message at the sound of a bet or
Speaker 1: I'll say no, no, no, Williams upstairs in the back
Speaker 1: right now. My name is Jada. Okay, So I'll make
Speaker 1: it fun. I'll make it fun and I'll make it
Speaker 1: cute because I'm not. Despite what a lot of people
Speaker 1: may think, drag queens are not out here to destroy
Speaker 1: all of mankind. They're not. Some of us are actually nice. Well,
Speaker 1: let's talk about that. I feel some of us. I
Speaker 1: feel like drag queens are like almost what comedians used
Speaker 1: to be before bloggers got on our cases, Like people
Speaker 1: who can't you know, people who you can walk into.
Speaker 1: I feel like your mom could say something to you,
Speaker 1: your counselor could say something to you, your therapist could
Speaker 1: say something to you. But then if a drag queen
Speaker 1: says it to you're like, well, I need to go
Speaker 1: back and ask some questions about my life. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so funny you question your own fucking life from the
Speaker 1: man who's wearing a wig. That's the irony in all
Speaker 1: of it. Bitch, I said, you know, you can't really
Speaker 1: take a seriously majority of the time, because half of
Speaker 1: us go home and cry ourselves sleep. Let's get into that.
Speaker 1: I don't do it. Bit Wait a minute, I said,
Speaker 1: some of us, excluding my damn self, which normally I
Speaker 1: go upstairs after a gig and get I get paid,
Speaker 1: I go upstairs, I take it off, I go downstairs
Speaker 1: nine times out of him, I get a man and
Speaker 1: I go home. That's it. Nice. But I do want
Speaker 1: to talk about that, like drag queens who who do
Speaker 1: cry themselves asleep? Like do you? I'm assuming you know?
Speaker 1: Give you here. Anybody drag the news crimes asleep? But
Speaker 1: why like why is it just inner struggles that they're
Speaker 1: fighting with? Like identity? What? Or is can it be
Speaker 1: an array of issues that all of us have. I
Speaker 1: don't want anything to do with the drag specific issues. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: not drag specific. Everyone has a fucking story, you know.
Speaker 1: It's one of those things where you could have things
Speaker 1: are just not going right in their career right now,
Speaker 1: and they just because I know a lot of girls
Speaker 1: who just go ball to the wall, quit your day
Speaker 1: job and just do drag full time. I could personally
Speaker 1: never do that because that's a fucking lot for me. Um,
Speaker 1: I like to sometimes have a five o'clock shadow, I
Speaker 1: like to wear a baggy clothes, and I like to
Speaker 1: get up early, sometimes in the morning. So that's there
Speaker 1: are all things that are not a part of the
Speaker 1: drag lifestyle exactly. I mean, now, you could stay up
Speaker 1: late at night till the early fucking morning, but that
Speaker 1: doesn't count. Sometimes found myself, you know, stumbling out of
Speaker 1: a club at seven o'clock in the morning, drunken, wondering.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm up early, and I'm responsible pretty well,
Speaker 1: I have to be at work in an hour and
Speaker 1: a half and I'm still in face. Well, thank god,
Speaker 1: thank goodness, I made enough tips. Let me take my
Speaker 1: ass to the H and M right up the street
Speaker 1: from work. And I work at a ballet studio during
Speaker 1: the day, so we have shower. Was there I can't
Speaker 1: be a nice old pair of underwear, pair of pants,
Speaker 1: a T shirt. There is no blessing like a job
Speaker 1: with a shower. I work at a spa. We also
Speaker 1: have a shower, and I'm like, this is the best.
Speaker 1: I frequently find myself going, thank you Jesus. I can't
Speaker 1: how many times I've had to go into an H
Speaker 1: and M or forever twenty one to get closed for
Speaker 1: the job that I'm about to walk into. And I
Speaker 1: haven't done it either. That's when I was twenty one. Now,
Speaker 1: that's what's when I was twenty seven. I was like,
Speaker 1: you think I don't have to do it tomorrow, bitch,
Speaker 1: I have to go to Fire Island tomorrow. Girl. Oh yes,
Speaker 1: I work on Fire Island every Saturday. Now, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Can I take me with you one week? Yes? Of course.
Speaker 1: So how do you like wearing heels? Because I fucking
Speaker 1: hate it. I like I I truly karns great at it.
Speaker 1: I can't well, my feet are also real fucked. But
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I thought that the bone here
Speaker 1: was supposed to go out because Victoria Beckham's also do that,
Speaker 1: And then I just realized Victoria Beckham was also severely deformed.
Speaker 1: So that's what happens when you do it. I always
Speaker 1: have a spare pair of flip flops in my back,
Speaker 1: even when I was playing, like, I still have those
Speaker 1: emergency flats because I knew I couldn't. I just couldn't
Speaker 1: do it. And that's why, like drag queens to me,
Speaker 1: you're like more of a woman than I am. Because
Speaker 1: like you're willing to do the ship that I'm like, nack, well,
Speaker 1: drag queens, you gotta pick a fucking pain to focus on.
Speaker 1: Your dick is in your ass, your wig is tie,
Speaker 1: and you're wearing heels. Pick a fucking struggle. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: focus on it. Nine times out of ten, they're not
Speaker 1: focusing on the heels right times out of ten. That
Speaker 1: gaff that you're wearing to put your dick in your
Speaker 1: ass is kinching. How do you put your dick in
Speaker 1: your ass? Yeah? Because well if you're me, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: guessing your dick is retty big because I'm racist. Um
Speaker 1: so what Yeah? Well, I mean I was in the
Speaker 1: forest and it still had the biggest dick out of
Speaker 1: all of them, and I was the bottom. Put that Brooklyn, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you do? Can we miame it? We can? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can miam it. So first, okay, so you so
Speaker 1: your dick's your dick's hanging. Oh you're off. His dick
Speaker 1: fell off. That's not good and that's why we use protection.
Speaker 1: So good. So I have a gaff and there wait,
Speaker 1: what's a gaff? Yeah, what's I only gaff tape? That's
Speaker 1: not what I'm guessing you're talking about. Well, back in
Speaker 1: the day when I was twenty lass and I used
Speaker 1: to shave my legs and tuck with duct tape. So
Speaker 1: duct tape? Did it up? Your ball? Ears off? I
Speaker 1: shaved everything girl. Okay, when you shave your balls, do
Speaker 1: you because it was a wrinkly yeah. Do you have
Speaker 1: to pull them tot to shave them? No, you gotta
Speaker 1: squeeze them like a tube toothpage and then then you
Speaker 1: gently just go up. I am learning so much today. Wow, bitch. Listen,
Speaker 1: you said in the text message talk, I'm a talk
Speaker 1: so you said bass to the wall. It figured literally.
Speaker 1: So what I do is I have a gaff and
Speaker 1: it's basically like a thick piece of cloth that's been
Speaker 1: sewn together to make like a cylinder. And then I
Speaker 1: cut off the top of a pair of pantyhose and
Speaker 1: I slipped that through the gaff. Then it's basically it's
Speaker 1: basically just made like a pair of underwear. You step
Speaker 1: through one, you step through the other. You pull it
Speaker 1: up and read it out, spread the balls out. No,
Speaker 1: you spread the gaff the thick part out, and you
Speaker 1: take your balls and your dick and you push it up.
Speaker 1: You hold it there and you pull up the gaff
Speaker 1: and then what you do this is my favorite part.
Speaker 1: I hope this. You take the two straps that are
Speaker 1: above your ass and you just pull the balls hurt
Speaker 1: Incent vagina. They're like, yeah, round of a class. For
Speaker 1: twenty nine years, I was afraid to put in a tampon.
Speaker 1: I just got shame. I was there, I got shamed.
Speaker 1: So I was on the other side of the bathroom door,
Speaker 1: was like, just just stick it in. You've had a
Speaker 1: dick up there. Just sticks. I haven't talked about my
Speaker 1: diary since this interview, but you brought it up. Please
Speaker 1: don't get me started on diarrhea. You have to tuck
Speaker 1: your dick in your ass. Let's talk about that. Please.
Speaker 1: Like if a stripper has her period, I'm like, how's
Speaker 1: did she deal with that? But if you have to
Speaker 1: do drag when you have diarrhea, how's that look. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna name any names, but there's a queen who
Speaker 1: was feeling really she had the bubble guts and she
Speaker 1: had to tuck and you know during the day she
Speaker 1: was farting. I said, bitch, you got to be careful
Speaker 1: with all that you and they they weren't m They
Speaker 1: weren't like the area farts. They were like the wet,
Speaker 1: juicy You know you're gonna have skin marks on your underwear.
Speaker 1: Farts I'm not gonna do because I have lipstick. But
Speaker 1: I can do it. Really, So I said, okay, bit,
Speaker 1: you better be careful. You've had bubble guts all day.
Speaker 1: You've been running to the bathroom. Blah blah blah. It's
Speaker 1: really be concerned and normally I'm not. How did it
Speaker 1: back to you? Yeah? I had to smell that bitch.
Speaker 1: How I knew there was a reason by me, by
Speaker 1: me saying, hey girl, careful with those farts. That was
Speaker 1: me saying, hey girl, careful, I can't smell. I don't
Speaker 1: want to smell your fart. You're making me want to
Speaker 1: go do coke. So I can't smell right now, right
Speaker 1: right smell? Okay, wait, sorry, I don't know anything. Everyone
Speaker 1: in the audience was like, uh yeah, that's a lame.
Speaker 1: So she talks and she pulls up her tights and everything.
Speaker 1: Right before we go to the stairs to do our show.
Speaker 1: She thinks that she has to fart, so she lets
Speaker 1: it go. She goes, Jada, I'm in the mirror, not
Speaker 1: paying attention because I know what she's down there doing
Speaker 1: and I want to be near it. I'll go, what's up, girl, Jada,
Speaker 1: do you have an extra paratites? I said, well, I
Speaker 1: did do laundry at the ballet studio today, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I have two extra paras of tites. What this bitch
Speaker 1: waffled through her tides? I'm not even sure what that means. Disgusting,
Speaker 1: like the poop went through you know what. You're a
Speaker 1: little kid, and you put soap on your like your
Speaker 1: washed town, and then you go. But she caught it,
Speaker 1: and she stopped herself in just enough time so it
Speaker 1: didn't get too bad. I said, did you just ship yourself?
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm gonna go check that means, I said,
Speaker 1: that always means, yes, always. Well, now listen, she had
Speaker 1: her gaff. It has to get through the gaff first
Speaker 1: before I can get to the tights. Yeah, dragging an
Speaker 1: easy sport, bitch, and I she goes in. She goes, Okay,
Speaker 1: it didn't get on my tights, but my gaff is ruined.
Speaker 1: I said, can you stay in there and not show
Speaker 1: me what's happening with that? She owes, I'm gonna wash it.
Speaker 1: But do you have something I can talk with? I said, now, listen, bitch,
Speaker 1: you don't funked up yo, gap, What makes you think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you some something my mind to shoot on. No,
Speaker 1: we're not doing that. Use your jock strap that you
Speaker 1: wore here tonight and use that as a tucking device. Hey,
Speaker 1: queens do it. They used shocks straps as tucking devices.
Speaker 1: She talked with that, and she went downstairs and she
Speaker 1: held her ask cheeks together the rest of the night.
Speaker 1: Thank god she wasn't a dancing queen because if she
Speaker 1: woulded in a split. There's truly no business like show business.
Speaker 1: Guys talk about the show must go on. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had any moments like for you personally before you
Speaker 1: went on that you're like, Oh, how am I going
Speaker 1: to deal with this? This is an emergency? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: any time that I've been drinking a lot before a
Speaker 1: show and I have to p and I have on
Speaker 1: fake nails because you can't, oh, because it's once you
Speaker 1: tuck the on top of that, I don't, yeah, like
Speaker 1: for about an hour and a half because that's how
Speaker 1: long the show normally, laughs. And I have on fake nails.
Speaker 1: Now keep in mind. I don't wear like the short,
Speaker 1: little stubby nails. I wear like talents, like lady Gagat talents. Now,
Speaker 1: if you think for a second I'm getting ready to
Speaker 1: cut my balls with pointy fingernails on, you have lost
Speaker 1: your damn mind. Me as a drag queen, I have limits.
Speaker 1: That's one of them, pointy nails. God, damn, I didn't
Speaker 1: even think about tucking the dick. That's all so much work, right.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of respect for you. Um, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's the time now that we want to
Speaker 1: kind of like see we've talked about what you do.
Speaker 1: Now we want to see what you do. He is
Speaker 1: so aunt I love him. Yeah, when one guy is
Speaker 1: really ampty and listen, I'm not doing no kicks and
Speaker 1: right splits, so lower your expectations. But it's still gonna good,
Speaker 1: gonna be great. I was like, I didn't wear the
Speaker 1: proper attire. No, no, no, you do. So what are
Speaker 1: we about to see what we can we take over here?
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna sing live for you. That's another thing
Speaker 1: that queen's do. Just sing like a normal person, not
Speaker 1: a monster. Not a monster. Do we have a mic stand?
Speaker 1: I'm sure we can get one sore my stand back there?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, there's is this death of the audience. We
Speaker 1: can take that? Can we take that? Waiting New York
Speaker 1: City pod first? Doing it for yourself? Well, look at
Speaker 1: god am stand Yeah, that's good. Now. I asked them
Speaker 1: to perform this song because m I have a cabaret
Speaker 1: coming up here in July called Lady Gay. Yes, play
Speaker 1: on words in which I will be singing. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: one of the queens who can actually sing live and
Speaker 1: on key ship claws are out, Berna sit here like
Speaker 1: we're extras and Sweet Charity is Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: love that show. Or bye bye Bernie if that's better
Speaker 1: for you. Hair spray, I like hair spray. He's going steady, Okay,
Speaker 1: I ure whatever? All right, you got the music? Cute up,
Speaker 1: got the music? Just play. Yeah. We're a thousand miles
Speaker 1: from Comorford. We have travel land and sea. But as
Speaker 1: long as you are with me, there's no place that
Speaker 1: or rather be I would wait forever exulted in the scene.
Speaker 1: But as long as you are with me, my heart
Speaker 1: continues to be. With every step we take to your toes,
Speaker 1: you the base rolling, so casually we're different and the same,
Speaker 1: getting you and nothing names which up the battery's If
Speaker 1: you gave me a chance, I would take it. It's
Speaker 1: a shot in the dark, but I made You can't
Speaker 1: change me and I've been There's no place that rather be. Huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We sent out on a mission to find her in
Speaker 1: a piece, make it ever lasting, so nothing can complete.
Speaker 1: It's easy being with you. She granted some fitzity as
Speaker 1: long as a weird together. There's no place a rather
Speaker 1: tea shit every second day you're to to PAGs rolling,
Speaker 1: so casually we're different. Ema, stay here, you and nothing
Speaker 1: switch up the battery. If you gave me a chance,
Speaker 1: I would take it. It's a shock in the dark,
Speaker 1: but I'm made it. Gon' shage me, man, I am ma.
Speaker 1: There's no place I rather be. No, no, no no,
Speaker 1: I don't play No no no no, don't play some
Speaker 1: ratherich when I am when there's no ways othery. I
Speaker 1: want to thank you guys so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gave me a chance. I it take. It's such
Speaker 1: hot in the dark pod me. No you canshame me
Speaker 1: when I'm with No no no, no, no, non't take
Speaker 1: some by no no no no no, non't taste. There's
Speaker 1: no place at her ratherity, I'll take that. Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: won't he do it? I saw Jessiclynn concert recently and
Speaker 1: I I think that might have been let's tweet at her.
Speaker 1: She's got two songs that I'm singing in my show
Speaker 1: of hers, that one and an't Got Fired to go?
Speaker 1: It just makes you feel good, which is you know,
Speaker 1: a feat when you're mad, ain't got what got fired? Ago? Oh?
Speaker 1: I thought you said ain't got vertigo. I'm like, she's
Speaker 1: gonna say I ain't got vertigo. She's like, noo when
Speaker 1: I tell you ain't got vertigo? Too sure to have vertigo? Bitch? Wow,
Speaker 1: you have such a beautiful voice. Thank you. Now where
Speaker 1: can we catch you with the cabaret? And I know
Speaker 1: you do a drag brunch? Can we tell people where
Speaker 1: they call full performance? So Selena is going to bring
Speaker 1: the serving staff out so wonderful. Can they bring a tequila? Um?
Speaker 1: My cabaret will be happening at the Stone Wall in
Speaker 1: which said to be the first gay Historic National Landmark
Speaker 1: great venue venue. So to be able to make my
Speaker 1: mark in that bar is going to not only be
Speaker 1: a blessing but going to be a huge deal for me. So, um,
Speaker 1: that is happening July. Yes, that's a Tuesday, Wednesday and
Speaker 1: the Thursday. Jesus lord, do you have a website where
Speaker 1: we can go and check out your dates or your
Speaker 1: social media or no, but I have social media which
Speaker 1: I'll be posting on a lot. We'll just we'll let
Speaker 1: just retweet it. Yes, good um. And then Saturday's you can,
Speaker 1: oh boy, Saturday's you can catch me doing a drag
Speaker 1: brunch at the Blue Whale on Fire Island Pines, and
Speaker 1: then later on that night hosting my own dance party
Speaker 1: at the Ice Palace and Cherry Grove. That's a fun life.
Speaker 1: And then you can catch me hungover and high waking
Speaker 1: up the next morning beating my face on the train
Speaker 1: to get to Senior Frogs Drag Brunch in Times Square.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be there, Yeah, we are. We're gonna be there.
Speaker 1: It's going to be an exciting fucking summer. May die,
Speaker 1: but the money is going to be great. Mike, are
Speaker 1: you down putting these days in your calendar? To put
Speaker 1: it down in your I can perfect come home, Mike.
Speaker 1: Let's go, Mike, see you there. My birthday, Happy birthday, Mike,
Speaker 1: come to brunch, Mike, so you can eat twenty one?
Speaker 1: What's your credit card number? What's just security? Mike? I
Speaker 1: just did the last four Mike. Okay, what happened? That's
Speaker 1: a straight white girl move. Nothing I spitch it, guys,
Speaker 1: doesn't just happen in movies. So what's your drag name?
Speaker 1: My drag name? Bitch, rang Tree, bark gonna. It's like
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do besides paying each other's nails. Don't
Speaker 1: try it now my track I'm going from my Extreme
Speaker 1: Makeover Home edition and they're about to move the bus. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm the one who's got their house toy modeled. U Uh.
Speaker 1: My drag name is Jada Valenciaga. It's like Balencia with
Speaker 1: a V. So we should be we should say Jada
Speaker 1: Valenciaga right now because you're a drag right your half
Speaker 1: halfw what do I stay with that? Valenaga? Whichever one
Speaker 1: comes out right now, is app okay? Every Jada? Please
Speaker 1: give it up for Jada Valenciaga. Wait wait, I would
Speaker 1: like to do a real quick five second costume change. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: absolutely absolutely, Oh what's happening? Is that the same is
Speaker 1: is that the same guy who's been being very vocal.
Speaker 1: I could say, wait, wait, who are you coming? Come
Speaker 1: coming in here? Right here? Can you come me right here?
Speaker 1: And I can't stand up, but you seem like you're
Speaker 1: a real menace. Okay, you're hammered. I'm like you already
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, um wait what were your three drinks tonight?
Speaker 1: Diet coke? I'm sorry, I'm a basic white perchect help it.
Speaker 1: And then it was a six six point a beer.
Speaker 1: I don't like to be that much, but six points great?
Speaker 1: Oh and and then alright, and he just don't live.
Speaker 1: Don't live, deem. There's a jacket now, everybody, Because I'm
Speaker 1: a lady. Yeah, whenever I see someone in a jacket,
Speaker 1: I'm like, that person has a vagina. Right, this is
Speaker 1: what I like to call my lies a manelle. Look,
Speaker 1: so you're married to someone gay, but you don't know
Speaker 1: it yet. Start someone said, oh, she's fine, she's all right,
Speaker 1: she's fine, she's all right. What she lives. She's Judy
Speaker 1: Garland dead lies a many child, she's had three hit
Speaker 1: replacements and she's still kicking. So what do you want
Speaker 1: to do for us? Pop? A lot? Did you want
Speaker 1: to put on you thought you said to move, You
Speaker 1: got to move. You want to do? You just want
Speaker 1: to put on the jacket. I just wanted to put
Speaker 1: on the jacket, shifting gears. I wanted to do a
Speaker 1: costume change for Jada. Right right, right, right right right
Speaker 1: to speak differently than William No, maybe higher right. She
Speaker 1: says a lot of good. What kind of drugs do
Speaker 1: you do? Tell me now? I do tequila weed, Yeah,
Speaker 1: weed in the occasional bump, the occasional, but bump of
Speaker 1: coca bump. The listen, you try wearing heels for eight
Speaker 1: hours in a fucking NTE and tell me that you
Speaker 1: don't want to do one at the end, I would never.
Speaker 1: I don't. I did coke ones and then I took
Speaker 1: a giant dump and then I went to sleep. There
Speaker 1: is nothing at all worse than the coke. Sh yeah,
Speaker 1: but like that was it. And then I went to bed.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's coke. That's hard hungover. No, I was like, exactly, Oh,
Speaker 1: drag wi a book. I've never done cocaine because I
Speaker 1: know I would like it too much. I didn't like it. Listen, listen,
Speaker 1: I do not like cocaine. I just like the way
Speaker 1: it smells. I just love that sound like my uncle Jeff.
Speaker 1: Oh god, Bagel's property of one of my drag sisters,
Speaker 1: who's also a famous New York City queen, Logan hardcore. Oh,
Speaker 1: I like the name. One person people know Logan. They
Speaker 1: just like to whoa. They're very wide, they're very twenty.
Speaker 1: So we have a little we have a little bit
Speaker 1: of time left. Do we have any other person? You
Speaker 1: can join us for some advice. You want to give
Speaker 1: some advice? People her her, she raised her hand. There's
Speaker 1: someone stripes shirt she can't even get. She's like, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to even wait till they say, wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. You put the skinny bitch in
Speaker 1: stripes next to me, begin me. Okay, what's your name
Speaker 1: and how do you and how many white people come
Speaker 1: up to you at your senior Frog's brunch and be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so hot and they're twenty one
Speaker 1: and they're very white and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: shut up. So many just as long as they put
Speaker 1: money in my hand. Perfect, And back to the interview. Michelle,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty three. Okay, do we have depends on Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's get some densh cream or whatever the funk they
Speaker 1: use web who's yelling? I like that person? So what's
Speaker 1: your what's problem? So basically, I've been a relationship for
Speaker 1: four years. I want some advice from you guys how
Speaker 1: to spice things up. What do you well, she says, bondage?
Speaker 1: What do you currently? What's your sex life look like? Now?
Speaker 1: Give us a picture? It's pretty awesome. I actually you know, well,
Speaker 1: what's the problem? I mean, I mean, you guys discussed
Speaker 1: frequently on your podcast about opening up as far as
Speaker 1: like watching porn together, going to strip clubs together, potentially
Speaker 1: having three stubs together. I kind of want to take
Speaker 1: that baby step towards like watching porn together. Wait, baby
Speaker 1: steps to watching that baby watching together? Is that a
Speaker 1: baby step? That's pretty much? Listen, guys coming home with me?
Speaker 1: It's pretty much or dame porn hub x videos. But
Speaker 1: here we go. What do you want to watch? Wait? Wait?
Speaker 1: What's the most sexually adventurous thing that you and your
Speaker 1: boyfriend have done? Went to Dylan's Candy? Yeah, my boy
Speaker 1: I actually did that, but we were on acid. I
Speaker 1: I came out of your mouth so automatically that that's
Speaker 1: his that's what he programmed into his mind instead her
Speaker 1: saying college. So tell us, well, yeah, we haven't been
Speaker 1: his he put his deck in the fountain, likes all up,
Speaker 1: it was great. Uh what have you two done in
Speaker 1: your private time? Basically like everything vanilla P and V
Speaker 1: like you know, a little a little bit of like
Speaker 1: slap it, a little bit of dirty talk. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: I think we have the potential to take it to
Speaker 1: the next step. Okay, so so far you have had
Speaker 1: vaginal sex in your bed for four years? That's that?
Speaker 1: Is that correct? Like public places? Definitely, you've done public places, yes,
Speaker 1: and porn is a step to something. Watching porn together
Speaker 1: by the public places. To me, she writes an apartment
Speaker 1: from someone who's not her. Listen, public places. She's done
Speaker 1: public places. She's done it in public What public place?
Speaker 1: Babysitting does not count? Having sex at the person who's
Speaker 1: house your babysitting does not count? Bitch? Don't you dare
Speaker 1: say public places? How fucking dare you step up on
Speaker 1: the stage of let's give her a chance? What was
Speaker 1: the public What was the public place? Like on the beach,
Speaker 1: in the car cars? Not public? But if there's incense
Speaker 1: named after what you're doing, it's not that cool. I
Speaker 1: know last night. So yeah, sex on the beach, bitch.
Speaker 1: There's a drink named after what you did. Come on girl,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I want to try and help. I
Speaker 1: want to try and help. Uh, what is there something?
Speaker 1: Is there a s fantasy or something at turnkey want
Speaker 1: that you haven't told him yet, like that you're a
Speaker 1: little nervous to tell them about um probably like like
Speaker 1: the dirty talk. Definitely like the dirty talk, but you
Speaker 1: do it currently your dirty talk? Right? Is there something
Speaker 1: thing that you've been wanting to do that you're too
Speaker 1: scared to tell them? I don't know. Cuck holding maybe
Speaker 1: as an example, is that is even did you just
Speaker 1: yell now? It was like that's very non Stephen, Okay. Definitely,
Speaker 1: like I love you operating other people as far as
Speaker 1: like a third party on the internet, Like I would
Speaker 1: love that. Definitely, not like in person third party because
Speaker 1: I'm wait, wait, wait, wait to do that. You're sexting
Speaker 1: with a third party to get down weight. No want
Speaker 1: party to only be involved on the internet and not
Speaker 1: in person, totally independent porn third party. So you want
Speaker 1: to skype in another person to watch you have sex.
Speaker 1: What it sounds that you're saying, I face time the
Speaker 1: hottest bitch. My pussy got so much. We are now adventurous,
Speaker 1: and we are now a good couple. Look at me
Speaker 1: with this stranger watching me on my phone. I vanilla
Speaker 1: fuck you. I skyped another bitch. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I like it. Here's what you I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: some advice. Get you some astro glide, rubber chicken, two
Speaker 1: candles okay, yeah, and some bubble gums scented incense. And
Speaker 1: you let me know how that works out. Where do
Speaker 1: you put? What? What goes out? They're not gay? You
Speaker 1: know where you should go? Okay, that's what the rubber
Speaker 1: chicken is for. If they were gay, I would say
Speaker 1: a package of hot dogs. Oh, I like stefing. But
Speaker 1: what I'm so confused. Have you ever gone into a
Speaker 1: shrimp club or anything? I got together? No? And I
Speaker 1: love to Okay, do you live in New York Long Island? Okay?
Speaker 1: That's whatever island? Uh? Someone sacking in the front row.
Speaker 1: He's offended because he's from Long Island and he's quacking. No.
Speaker 1: I would go to like a fucking like the box.
Speaker 1: That's expensive, isn't it? Stephen? You know it's expensive and
Speaker 1: also a lot of people can't get in what a
Speaker 1: story of Lindsay Lohan. When Lindsay Lohan was friends with
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend ever, it's not a name drop. No
Speaker 1: one cares about her. Um, but I was on the
Speaker 1: phone with her and they were at the box, and
Speaker 1: she like wouldn't let me in because I was like, like,
Speaker 1: I was like a plebeian, Like like, like, you not
Speaker 1: Lindy Lohan. Yeah no, she was like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what the funk that is, but I'm pretty sure I
Speaker 1: don't like it. Not a puncher in her face if
Speaker 1: she called me a plebeian, like a polebian, like that
Speaker 1: just sounds like a goddamn inside it's my favorite word
Speaker 1: for just like a loser. It's like a shakespeare like
Speaker 1: as in Shakespeare child, the ones who had no seats there,
Speaker 1: yea the mud I went to the Globe. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: they were dirty. We're a secret theater nerves so wait, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe not, but like go to like a cabaret show
Speaker 1: in the city or something really sexy. What's another one
Speaker 1: of them in the box. There's another one, oh, Dwayne
Speaker 1: park I follow them on Instagram. Those girls are looking
Speaker 1: hot Dwayne Park. No, you're I forgot about that. These
Speaker 1: girls are like fucking oh there to die for. They
Speaker 1: follow them on Instagram. It's so hot you'll get still
Speaker 1: turned on. Um. But if you go somewhere like that,
Speaker 1: like a sexy night out and you have a table
Speaker 1: and drinks and like, you know what I mean, I
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, okay, do that prom So there you
Speaker 1: go and like maybe in the but I don't know
Speaker 1: an you want to do in the butt. We've done
Speaker 1: it in the butt. You've done it in the butt
Speaker 1: from him. Did you like that? To be honest, I mean,
Speaker 1: like definitely, definitely. Oh wow, because me and Christie are like,
Speaker 1: we did it. I mean, it's all about the lubrication.
Speaker 1: But what if you a lubrication No, you wait, it's
Speaker 1: about fucking someone with a small dick and being comfortable
Speaker 1: with No, not even that the fuck. It's not just
Speaker 1: about lubrication. And yeah, yeah, yea stretching bottom stretching stretch.
Speaker 1: I know you can't see it, but there's a lot
Speaker 1: of ass underneath all of these I didn't see when
Speaker 1: you know I saw it. I need Okay, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Okay, I'm not going to get it, going
Speaker 1: to get another gut? Okay, you already did ain't all?
Speaker 1: I mean that's pretty advanced. That's all there is, did you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And you're done? Break up? Watch porn together? Why have
Speaker 1: you not watched porn together so far? I mean just
Speaker 1: like I'm too shy to bring it up. You've been
Speaker 1: dating it for four years? Like it's ridiculous, so hat weight? Wait,
Speaker 1: I'm Your'm your boyfriend? What's his name? I'm Ben? Asked
Speaker 1: me to watch porn with you? Hey? You want to
Speaker 1: watch so important? Yes? See how he and that was?
Speaker 1: Do you see how easy? And no one's gonna say no,
Speaker 1: You're getting off and watching porn. That's great. That's like,
Speaker 1: do you want me to order to seamless and I'll pay?
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah. I don't think
Speaker 1: Ben's gonna say no to that. That's gonna say my word.
Speaker 1: I don't have a been so mind. Friend is so annoying.
Speaker 1: She wants to watch poor No, you're fine. I ask
Speaker 1: what else do you want to ask him that you
Speaker 1: haven't asked him? Um, he's not here right? Role play?
Speaker 1: Is that your friend? Yeah? Definitely? Role play? What do
Speaker 1: you want? What roles do you want to play teacher,
Speaker 1: police officer, misdemean girl student, very serious, just misdemean, just
Speaker 1: like I was peeing in public, or like I have
Speaker 1: a parking ticket. But it's role play. You can be
Speaker 1: like I'm murdered a bit and then he's like, you
Speaker 1: gotta go to the fucking jail. Cell. She's like, I
Speaker 1: want to be a role play. I'm a white girl,
Speaker 1: but I'm twenty eight. It's so crazy. I was twenty
Speaker 1: and my parents won't answer my calls when I'm like
Speaker 1: I need help with my credit. Carpet student teacher, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're still a student if all we know he was
Speaker 1: just God damn t a when you was in college.
Speaker 1: Don't do it in pacey, you act, wait to pace.
Speaker 1: He did go to pay. He went to pace. My
Speaker 1: friend went to pace. Jesus, this is going nowhere fast. No,
Speaker 1: this is going everywhere I wanted to go. You would
Speaker 1: kill him. You want to watch porn? Definitely? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: then wait and then tell me want to role play? Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: Why haven't you told him yet? Just you know, shy, shy?
Speaker 1: What is your what is what's the worst is going
Speaker 1: to happen? The sex, the sex as great as is, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to funk up that rod with him
Speaker 1: by being like, hey, like let's role play or let's
Speaker 1: watch porn. But I feel like what you guys saying,
Speaker 1: its right, Like if you just sucking, ask just what
Speaker 1: it's going an outfit, enter the room and he's gonna
Speaker 1: be fine. Thank you, thank you so much. Halloween. Yeah, Michell,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. She's so white, she's having skinny
Speaker 1: white girl. Damn, Michelle, you look good. Yeah, it's very
Speaker 1: rare that I see a skinny white girl with an ass,
Speaker 1: but then a great Is that okay for me to say?
Speaker 1: That's okay for me to say she's got great? It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. We're saying it. We only have six more minutes.
Speaker 1: I don't think we could bring No, we're at the
Speaker 1: Bell House. We're doing whatever. Well, we'll wrap it up.
Speaker 1: Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up, We wrap
Speaker 1: it up. I'm so glad we have this time. I
Speaker 1: will say it. Prompts you and give us a word.
Speaker 1: We're improvise a scene. Pineapple, Okay, what'd you do with
Speaker 1: my pineapple? I gave it to fucking SpongeBob Insane improve
Speaker 1: Weight impoving with drag queens and they just a second,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do this now. Am I going
Speaker 1: to play your little reindeer games? Okay? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: All right, so uh we well, we want to wrap
Speaker 1: it up. Thank you, got we got it, We got it.
Speaker 1: We gotta we need to wrap it. Yeah, but we
Speaker 1: do want to hang out and talk to you guys.
Speaker 1: There is another show right after this, so we got
Speaker 1: to clear you of the funk out right away. But
Speaker 1: when you exit, go to the right and let's hang out, Like,
Speaker 1: let's say hi and hang out. Go to the right
Speaker 1: and by me and buy us drinks. Well you can, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I love you talk. Yeah. The more I drink,
Speaker 1: the funnier I get. Yeah. Yeah, I have diarrhea, so
Speaker 1: I can't really drink that much, but I'll take a
Speaker 1: coconut water dirhea phrase. Since at least a good six months,
Speaker 1: you guys, thank you so much yourself on else. We
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Guys are fucking amazing. You guys are
Speaker 1: awesome that this this podcast has become. You know, we
Speaker 1: Christine and I have been working together for a very
Speaker 1: long time and we started this kind of on a whim.
Speaker 1: We've done a lot of projects to make us try
Speaker 1: to be famous, and this was not one of them,
Speaker 1: and it did it. Look what happened, and look what happened.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much. Yeah, I like, you know,
Speaker 1: believe in yourself and you're not that fat and you
Speaker 1: don't suck that none of you. No one settled for ship.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: this has been another episode of guys. We've fun listen,
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you guys. I'm doing right. I've still
Speaker 1: got money. Oh, you want from me? What you want?
Speaker 1: What you want? What you want from me? What you want,
Speaker 1: what you want, what you are from me? You have
Speaker 1: to break down the wall. Yeah, break down the world,
Speaker 1: break down the wall. I'm always speaking my mind, I
Speaker 1: hope and you'll listen song. But what you want, what
Speaker 1: you want, what you want from me? What you want,
Speaker 1: what you are? You want from me? What you are?
Speaker 1: What you want you want from me? To break down?
Speaker 1: I know what break