Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about last night anti sluck shaming podcast. I
Speaker 1: never stopped. Hey, everybody, Welcome to another episode of Guys
Speaker 1: We Fuck. It's the anti slusham podcast. I'm Karen. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: On Today's episode is bought to you by Replay. It's
Speaker 1: a comedy web series produced by New Form Digital. The
Speaker 1: show follows Allison Lee and aspiring DJ, who gets more
Speaker 1: than she wishes for when she's stuck repeating her disastrous
Speaker 1: birthday party over and over again. You guys can watch
Speaker 1: the show on Go ninety. It's a free mobile entertainment app. Uh.
Speaker 1: To watch the first episode, you can go to www
Speaker 1: dot replay series dot com and then new episodes come
Speaker 1: out every Wednesday only on the Go nine app, available
Speaker 1: on iOS and Android phones in the US. So yeah. Also,
Speaker 1: come see us live tonight. It's May thirteen. It's Friday. Uh.
Speaker 1: Come see Nacho Bitches at eleven pm at New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club, co hosted by myself and Blair Saki. Tickets
Speaker 1: are ten dollars with the code Nacho Nashville, Tennessee. Karin
Speaker 1: and I will be inside you on Saturday May is
Speaker 1: part of the wild West Comedy Festival. We're bringing the
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked Torn Show to your town. It's going
Speaker 1: to be at Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville. Tickets are
Speaker 1: twenty two bucks and there's a link to purchase in
Speaker 1: the description of this episode. And that show is at
Speaker 1: eleven pm. And then we'll be back in New York
Speaker 1: City Monday, May at eight pm for the Guys We
Speaker 1: Fucked Test Tour dates that are happening at Subculture. Standing
Speaker 1: Room tickets only are available for that night, but if
Speaker 1: you want to sit down, you can buy tickets to Monday,
Speaker 1: June twenty show and again, doors are at seven, show
Speaker 1: is at eight. It's really fun and we need your
Speaker 1: help to kind of get the show going. Yeah, come
Speaker 1: off a good time. And then if you're still in
Speaker 1: New York City Saturday May, Wendy Starling and I are
Speaker 1: co hosting the one year anniversary actually of Glamor Plus
Speaker 1: at Zinc Bar. Shows at seven thirty towards at seven.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a wild night and there will be titties.
Speaker 1: And these are not our only dates. Wink Wink, nudge, nudge.
Speaker 1: Go to our social media because there's other dates, maybe
Speaker 1: like things in the Midwest. Instagram is philanthropy Gal Christina
Speaker 1: Hutch I'm sorry about last night. Same on Twitter, m M.
Speaker 1: Go there. Yeah, we have a lot of other dates guys,
Speaker 1: so check them out. Um, did you have a good weekend?
Speaker 1: I did? What did you do? Oh? Well, huh my
Speaker 1: mom experiment. I was supposed to see my mom from
Speaker 1: other's day. She had experimented with a new natural sleepage.
Speaker 1: Found the costco didn't go to well for Oh my god. Yes,
Speaker 1: she called me and she goes, I'm can you come
Speaker 1: next week or another time? Um? And I was like yeah, ship,
Speaker 1: that sucks. I'm so sorry. We were like a ready
Speaker 1: to leave the house in Stephen's band and so I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my mom took a sleeping pill and
Speaker 1: night before didn't go so well. Force she wants us
Speaker 1: to come another time. So you want to go to
Speaker 1: a random town up state and play pinball and go
Speaker 1: to stroke clubs? And he was like, yes, I do,
Speaker 1: and I was like fuck yeah. So that's what we
Speaker 1: end up doing. We um. He found this record store,
Speaker 1: slash vape shop, slash pinball arcade. This was on Sunday
Speaker 1: or Saturday since Saturday in Middletown, New York. And then
Speaker 1: as we were done there, we were looking up stroke
Speaker 1: clubs because I wanted to get a hotel because we
Speaker 1: put our roommate was here for the weekend, and I
Speaker 1: just haven't sex in a hotel is just it's more comfortable,
Speaker 1: it's better, I don't have to worry about being loud.
Speaker 1: So I really wanted one of those like sex capaid weekends.
Speaker 1: I haven't had that in a really long time, so
Speaker 1: I'm really excited. Found a hotel, found the dopest strip
Speaker 1: club in a forty mile radius. There was a bunch
Speaker 1: and then as we went to the Bank of America
Speaker 1: a t M so that he can get cash out. Um,
Speaker 1: he rolls down the window and he hears the sound
Speaker 1: of like race ours and I think that's an airport
Speaker 1: and he goes, no, I think that's like racing. He's like,
Speaker 1: let's go. So we went to this race track and
Speaker 1: watched race cars go around a three quarter of old
Speaker 1: dirt track with amongst like camo jacket wearing cigarettes, smoking
Speaker 1: redneck people and it was like, you know, I have
Speaker 1: some redneck roots and may because I used to go
Speaker 1: to NASCAR races and do that like tailgating ship and
Speaker 1: it was kind of nice. It was really We got
Speaker 1: so fucking dirty though, because it was a dirt track,
Speaker 1: and so then we're like, well we can let's go
Speaker 1: to the strip club now. So we go to hotel,
Speaker 1: I shower all the dirt off from the race track,
Speaker 1: and we go to the strip club. We pull in
Speaker 1: and it looks huge. It's called Mansion and it's outside
Speaker 1: the sign that says mansion and it says trump Make
Speaker 1: America great again. I'm like, oh, man, that's gonna suck.
Speaker 1: And so we went in. We were debating going in
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, we're gonna go in if
Speaker 1: it's a trumpet. What made me think it was like
Speaker 1: the best, Like for a strip club, I think it
Speaker 1: would be better. I don't know. I just I got
Speaker 1: it weird. I got it. It It was great. But that's
Speaker 1: the moral of the story. It didn't suck at all.
Speaker 1: But when I went in and I showed the guy
Speaker 1: in my I D he saw my military I D
Speaker 1: and he goes, oh, you're military, And then I got
Speaker 1: in for free. Yeah. So, but there's a military base
Speaker 1: in the area. That's probably why they're Trump people, because
Speaker 1: the Republicans so because that confused me. Because the strip
Speaker 1: club was awesome. I have not This is probably one
Speaker 1: of my favorite strip club experiences. The girls. It kind
Speaker 1: of stuck because the stage was above the bar, far away.
Speaker 1: You could not touch nothing, but the fucking asses on
Speaker 1: these chicks were like a mind blowing just like beautiful girls.
Speaker 1: They were having a really good time and uh we
Speaker 1: we always go to strip clubs like this is either
Speaker 1: gonna be the worst thing, you're the best thing. And
Speaker 1: it was amazing. And then I went to go get
Speaker 1: a drink and I was like, you know, we should
Speaker 1: get a lap dance from one of the girls, like
Speaker 1: who do you want? Kind of thing. And I go back,
Speaker 1: I go to get a drink. I come back and
Speaker 1: there's a girl in my seat and she's like this
Speaker 1: beautiful young girl in this you know lingerie, black lingerie.
Speaker 1: Get up and Stephen was like, oh, she was just
Speaker 1: telling me, like the prices and stuff, we should totally
Speaker 1: get laugh dance from her. I was like cool. She
Speaker 1: stands up. I go, oh my god, did you work
Speaker 1: at the Apple store and soho seven years ago? She
Speaker 1: goes yeah, and I was like, hey, girl, it's Christina.
Speaker 1: She goes, oh hey, I'm like, how are you doing?
Speaker 1: And you look great? You look great? She did, She
Speaker 1: look great and it was so awkward. But then we
Speaker 1: went and got the lap dance, but she danced on
Speaker 1: him and up, but it was she was so serious.
Speaker 1: She looked like she was performing surgery. But she was
Speaker 1: giving a pretty great lap dance, but her face and
Speaker 1: her body didn't match. It was weird. And then um,
Speaker 1: and then we got another one from this random chick
Speaker 1: that was just at the bar by herself, dancing on
Speaker 1: stool and we're like, yeah, you want to can you
Speaker 1: give us a lab dance? That was really fun. And
Speaker 1: whenever I do this thing, remember we go to strip
Speaker 1: clubs and we go back and we have sex. That night,
Speaker 1: I moved my body like a stripper and he pointed
Speaker 1: it out. He's like, god, you you're moving like your
Speaker 1: fucking on girls or something. I'm like, yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't Yeah, I wasn't sparing to see women dance hot.
Speaker 1: And then we had I was the first time and
Speaker 1: I would say over a year probably that I we
Speaker 1: had sex, but like full on, no time restrictions, no noise, restrictions,
Speaker 1: no restrictions of any kind. Sex Like I let him
Speaker 1: meet me out for a very long time, which he
Speaker 1: likes doing, and I'm just like, come on, let's wrap
Speaker 1: the show up. I gotta go where, I gotta go
Speaker 1: to bed, or I'm tired, or there's always something. There's
Speaker 1: always something interrupting it, or or roommate comes home or something. Um.
Speaker 1: So it was really nice. It was just a nice
Speaker 1: sexy getaway weekend. I saw a stripper. I knew that's
Speaker 1: the third time that's happened to me at a the
Speaker 1: third time. Pumps was the first time, and then it
Speaker 1: was there was one in Pennsylvania. But I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what the highs go together? I know
Speaker 1: people who are strippers. I don't think i've ever accidentally.
Speaker 1: I don't really frequent strip clubs, though I guess this
Speaker 1: strip club had a steakhouse attached to it. Many do
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Speaker 1: bikini cut. Okay, we're gonna read a couple of emails
Speaker 1: before we introduce our guests for this week. Um, if
Speaker 1: you want to email us, it's sorry about last night
Speaker 1: show at gmail dot com. The first email, the subject
Speaker 1: line is autistic guy having girl troubles. Hi, guys, I
Speaker 1: love your podcast listen every week and I thought i'd
Speaker 1: write in to get your advice. I'm on the autistic spectrum.
Speaker 1: I'll be extremely high functioning, and although I have I
Speaker 1: actually have hooked up with girls on dates fairly often
Speaker 1: the past and enjoyed it. I've never had a girlfriend
Speaker 1: twenty four and find this a bit depressing. It's hard
Speaker 1: for me to make romantic connections. In the last and
Speaker 1: only time I did fall in love, she'd been married
Speaker 1: very young and didn't want commitment. Bad timing on both
Speaker 1: our parts. I've been doing online dating but never know
Speaker 1: what to message with, so it's hard getting out there
Speaker 1: with that and my missing subtle social cues. What I'm
Speaker 1: asking is, is there any way to flirt and to
Speaker 1: ask women out that isn't creepy or obtrusive? How would
Speaker 1: you want to be treated? I grew up with strong women,
Speaker 1: and I think cat calling slash nice guy behavior is repulsive.
Speaker 1: Nice guy behavors are repulsive. But I'm never sure how
Speaker 1: to approach someone on a train or in a bar
Speaker 1: without feeling like I'm being a creep. Any advice you
Speaker 1: could give would be really appreciated. Thanks, Uh twenty something
Speaker 1: asp twenty something like Asperger's. Oh is that like a
Speaker 1: the Aspergers is like a less It's it's a form
Speaker 1: of autism. But aspy is like short for us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, I don't. I don't think. I think maybe
Speaker 1: you probably have to have it to refer to self fast, right.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be like, yo, this act be friend of mine? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that's like rude and ship. Yeah. I would say, um,
Speaker 1: you seem like such a sweet guy from your email
Speaker 1: I don't. I couldn't imagine you being creepy, although I'm
Speaker 1: only judging you from a couple of words that you
Speaker 1: wrote to us. I would. I don't like getting hit on,
Speaker 1: um while I'm on a train A personally a bar.
Speaker 1: A bar is an okay place. But I think online
Speaker 1: dating is cool because if you want to get in
Speaker 1: an online dating, the first thing to message somebody's whatever
Speaker 1: he's interests you about that person's profile, and I would
Speaker 1: get really specific. Um, I personally like to get to
Speaker 1: know a a guy in person, so I'm very cut
Speaker 1: to the chase, like, Hey, how are you free this night?
Speaker 1: Let's get to know each other over dinner. Um. But
Speaker 1: through my experiences on a three way dating app with Steven,
Speaker 1: I really like the way he communicates because he just
Speaker 1: he usually starts out with something like, Hey, you seem
Speaker 1: like a really fun person. I would love to get
Speaker 1: to know you. Blah blah blah. It's the standard line,
Speaker 1: but it's not creepy and it's very daring. And then
Speaker 1: just pick something really specific out from the profile that
Speaker 1: you genuinely find interesting and they want to talk to
Speaker 1: you about it. Um. Yeah, don't hit on people in
Speaker 1: bar or on trains because I feel like no one
Speaker 1: wants to be bothered. Um, you know, I might be wrong,
Speaker 1: but but a bar is a more appropriate place, And
Speaker 1: I don't know a pickup lines that I've had. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite pickup lines was when I was at
Speaker 1: a restaurant um at a at a networking event and
Speaker 1: this waiter was slam and hot. I left my jacket,
Speaker 1: went back and to get it, and as I was leaving,
Speaker 1: he goes have dinner with me, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: but what I have worked If he was ugly, nope, yeah,
Speaker 1: but he had the confidence of a hot person and
Speaker 1: he was pretty hot right well, he was hot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I don't know, you might be attractive, you might
Speaker 1: not be. I have no idea, but you can probably
Speaker 1: have a general sense. Yeah, I have confidence without being
Speaker 1: like over the top. And I mean I think just
Speaker 1: be interesting, which is easier said than done. But you know,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna talk to someone in a bar, like
Speaker 1: have something to say after hello, Like have a fucking
Speaker 1: plan in order, like how you're going to handle? What
Speaker 1: are lines that you hate hearing at bars? Like? I mean,
Speaker 1: I I truly because I don't I am never someone
Speaker 1: who's going to a bar to meet up with. I
Speaker 1: would never do that, so it's I mean, I've had
Speaker 1: people who tried to hit on me and then end
Speaker 1: up talking to them and it was totally fine, and
Speaker 1: I enjoy the conversation. But truly have something interesting to say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you have to be smart and interesting to
Speaker 1: have those things to say that, or just have read
Speaker 1: a book or something, or read a news story and
Speaker 1: then just tell me about it. Just make it worthwhile
Speaker 1: because if even if nothing comes out of it, you
Speaker 1: both get an interesting conversation. Yeah, that's fine, that's not
Speaker 1: gonna bother me, no problem at all. Um. This second
Speaker 1: email is, how do you tell the tender guy who
Speaker 1: ended things that you are pregnant? Uh? So recently I
Speaker 1: found out that I am pregnant and I am freaking out,
Speaker 1: I would say. Earlier last month, this guy who I
Speaker 1: had been on and off seeing told me that he
Speaker 1: wanted to stop things and proceeded to delete me on
Speaker 1: all social media. Do I even have to say something?
Speaker 1: And what the fuck is the protocol for this? I
Speaker 1: have weighed my options and I don't want to have
Speaker 1: an abortion. I would rather give the baby up for adoption.
Speaker 1: But I mean, I don't have the right to just
Speaker 1: keep this to myself. Question Mark, This guy didn't hurt me,
Speaker 1: but I feel that this is my body. I did
Speaker 1: everything right. I took my birth control at the same
Speaker 1: time every day, and it worked every time before we
Speaker 1: had sex, and I got my period like clockwork after
Speaker 1: every time. I didn't even use the birth control with
Speaker 1: the other guys alone, I used a condom. I just
Speaker 1: don't understand why me, and why now? What should I do?
Speaker 1: I am only nineteen and I was careful, so careful.
Speaker 1: No one saying that you weren't careful, my darling, And
Speaker 1: no one's saying that he did anything wrong. Uh. Birth
Speaker 1: control is not one percent effective. There is no birth
Speaker 1: control that is a percent effective except for abstinence and
Speaker 1: a vasectomy. That's what I remember. Dr Prine said. The
Speaker 1: only thing a guy can do, which is can be
Speaker 1: like completely effective, it's sectomy. Uh yeah, that's intense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and to and also like you're in a relationship like
Speaker 1: this is like just for you. So you, yeah, you
Speaker 1: did everything right and something still went wrong. Thus it's life,
Speaker 1: and that life kid, um, So you've already made this
Speaker 1: decision to put the baby up for adoption. Uh, and
Speaker 1: so I'm not going to try to see you in
Speaker 1: a different direction on that um. But if this baby
Speaker 1: is going to exist in the world, yeah, you gotta
Speaker 1: tell the guy that he has a baby. You can't
Speaker 1: just it is a percent your body. And I would
Speaker 1: say if you were getting an abortion, you would wouldn't
Speaker 1: have to tell him. But this is a child that's
Speaker 1: going to exist on the planet, and one day that
Speaker 1: child might want to know who is mother and father.
Speaker 1: These are her mother and father. It's not as much
Speaker 1: as you know, you don't have a relationship with this person,
Speaker 1: and you know he did you wrong by deleting you
Speaker 1: on social media. That's the child is the one who's
Speaker 1: going to suffer here. You absolutely have to tell him
Speaker 1: if you're keeping the child, that he has a child
Speaker 1: who's gonna be walking around the planet. Who is his Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should tell him, hopefully still have his number. Hopefully
Speaker 1: it wasn't just social media. And then he blocked you,
Speaker 1: and you're like, why try to tell you I had
Speaker 1: to kid, but you had to go blog me on Facebook? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean through whatever. That's rough, but you know he
Speaker 1: should know and sorry that the sorry that that situation
Speaker 1: is happening, but it's gonna be okay. Uh, such as life.
Speaker 1: The next email on the subject line is my eleven
Speaker 1: year old constantly jerks off. Hey, ladies, love the show.
Speaker 1: A little background. I am a dad of two boys,
Speaker 1: stepped out of two others. My eleven year old stepson
Speaker 1: is always rubbing one out. There's no attempt to hide
Speaker 1: it whatsoever. His bedroom door is glass. He can be
Speaker 1: in the middle of playing a Lego game or on
Speaker 1: the PlayStation and bam, outcomes is a little cock. What
Speaker 1: the hell? His poor mother has caught him dozens of times.
Speaker 1: Yesterday we caught him out in the backyard shaking hands
Speaker 1: with the governor. His response, sorry, okay, I was eleven.
Speaker 1: I jerked off, still do, but in my forties, not
Speaker 1: once have I been caught. What do we do here?
Speaker 1: We want we don't want him to feel ashamed or
Speaker 1: like it's wrong, but I'm tired of sleep, of seeing
Speaker 1: his little pet Kurt banks to keep up the great show.
Speaker 1: I think you should definitely have the conversation of hey,
Speaker 1: what you're doing is your I don't know if he
Speaker 1: is aware of the rhetoric of masturbating and bone and
Speaker 1: erection and penis and all that stuff. I'm sure he does,
Speaker 1: but just say, this is something that is totally fine
Speaker 1: to do for your pleasure. But it's a private thing.
Speaker 1: So if you do want to masturbate, just make sure
Speaker 1: you are in a private place, preferably at home. You
Speaker 1: don't I feel like you can get in trouble jerking
Speaker 1: off in school. I could be wrong, but probably could.
Speaker 1: But he needs to know that that's something. It's a
Speaker 1: private thing, and I don't think that's shaming him. Um.
Speaker 1: It's just that masturbating is private and it's wonderful and
Speaker 1: it's fun and it's cool. Um. And also I hope
Speaker 1: he doesn't like shape his penis good god. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: And also just like they think you can talk to
Speaker 1: it when it was a child that's small, you can
Speaker 1: talk to them about it, much like things that are
Speaker 1: going on in the bathroom, like peeing or taking ship.
Speaker 1: Neither of those things are shameful. But you're not gonna
Speaker 1: take a ship in the middle of the kitchen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so very true. You know, I think you have to
Speaker 1: just think of ways at eleven year old understand it obviously,
Speaker 1: say poop not ship. Although I didn't love the amount
Speaker 1: of words that you used for masturbating and penis in
Speaker 1: this this. Yeah, there's a lot of a metaphors just
Speaker 1: you're you're the Truman campody of masturbation writing. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: just talked about in word that you can understand. And
Speaker 1: I think it's really great you have the good idea
Speaker 1: on in your head that it's not shameful, because it's
Speaker 1: certainly not. But and also just like hygienic, it's not hygienic.
Speaker 1: Just masturbate anywhere you should be washing your hands after it.
Speaker 1: Like there's there's protocols. You don't keep yourself safe. You
Speaker 1: don't just seemen everywhere. It's not good for anyone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know, you know when I'm jerking off at school,
Speaker 1: jerking off the doctors, or jerking off the supermarket, because
Speaker 1: you know, he's got to know that that's a private
Speaker 1: thing that's really awesome and fun for private time. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe uh, put a curtain over his glass door too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a weird door that's on you. Is he is
Speaker 1: he living in the deck is something? Is he living
Speaker 1: in the sun room? Yeah? And I give him a room.
Speaker 1: I truly think it is. It's very important that especially
Speaker 1: by you know, nine time eleven. You have a bedroom
Speaker 1: that is yours where you can close the door if
Speaker 1: you are in a financial position to do have your
Speaker 1: own bedroom. I think it's so important to kids to
Speaker 1: have a space where you can go in, you can
Speaker 1: close the door, and you can do your own thing.
Speaker 1: So important, totally, So I hope that helps dead. Okay,
Speaker 1: our guest this episode, um this is we met her.
Speaker 1: She is a fucker. She's a She listens to the
Speaker 1: Guys podcast. She came out to a Glamor Push show
Speaker 1: that I had in February that was on my birthday.
Speaker 1: We had an after party she came to that. I
Speaker 1: met her and her friend. They were really fucking sweet.
Speaker 1: I was a little drunk, so I wasn't exactly registering
Speaker 1: everything she said, but she was talking about a few subjects,
Speaker 1: one of them being her studies in Africa about genital mutilation,
Speaker 1: and I was really interested in it. Stephen, my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: is also joining us on this episode because he has
Speaker 1: been to Uganda, where our guests is from, where her
Speaker 1: family is from, and has a very unique perspective on
Speaker 1: the country from his experiences in the country. Um, so
Speaker 1: he's going to be joining us. Um, we're really excited
Speaker 1: for to hear this interview. It's a very smart young lady.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Lou and Tally Calamara. Take
Speaker 1: me back and shoe dark. Can't you see this was
Speaker 1: now the fine, never the fine in the dark? Hush, oh, Fish,
Speaker 1: you so construe looking back, Hush Sam, darkness, Well find
Speaker 1: me too, will find it, You will find it to
Speaker 1: don't are you nervous? We're here with Woe and Tally.
Speaker 1: I said it right, Yeah, it's already off to a start. Yeah,
Speaker 1: lla um, so we met you. You came to the
Speaker 1: Glamour pus Uh show on my birthday and to the
Speaker 1: after party, a fat black pussycat and you're with your
Speaker 1: friend and you're telling me stories about what I think.
Speaker 1: She was like, she knowells all about general mutilation, female
Speaker 1: general mutilation in Africa, And I was drunk and I
Speaker 1: was like, Steven, she's been Africa. I gotta go, guys.
Speaker 1: I hope you have good time connecting. Um and it's oh,
Speaker 1: Stephen is also here. Stephen and you guys kind of
Speaker 1: hit it off because um Stephen talked about his experiences
Speaker 1: in Uganda, which is where you're You weren't born and
Speaker 1: Ugne to correct your your parents were, Yes, I was
Speaker 1: born in the Bay Area in California. About my family's
Speaker 1: from Uganda. And then when why did they leave? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: it was during the time of Idia means regime and
Speaker 1: so um in order for for them to have like
Speaker 1: a better life and better opportunities, they had the opportunity
Speaker 1: to leave Uganda. So my mom first went to England,
Speaker 1: then she came to America, and my dad came, uh,
Speaker 1: went to Ethiopia, and then he came to America. And
Speaker 1: where did they mean? They met at a party in Sacramento. Well,
Speaker 1: it's like a party for like the Ugandans in the area, Okay,
Speaker 1: So it wasn't just happenstance that to a man and
Speaker 1: a woman from Uganda were there. It was Ugandan like
Speaker 1: you know, okay, and they got married quickly after me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well they did. My mom's and my dad at the
Speaker 1: party from this is what they told me, And so
Speaker 1: they kind of hit it off. Then my mom went
Speaker 1: back to l A and was like with her with
Speaker 1: her then person. But then like she she and my
Speaker 1: dad really hood it off. And so at some point
Speaker 1: my dad like got his RV like the hippie van
Speaker 1: and drove it from San Francisco the Bay Area to
Speaker 1: l A. Told my mom to get all her stuff.
Speaker 1: She put it in the van and then they traveled
Speaker 1: around the US. Yeah, stopped off in Arizona and got
Speaker 1: married there. And that's amazing. How many sibings do you have?
Speaker 1: Is it just you? No? Unfortunately, I'm kidding, I have.
Speaker 1: I just want No, I'm kidding. I love her to
Speaker 1: him so much. Um, she's my older sister. She's twenty
Speaker 1: nine years old. And um, she lives in d C.
Speaker 1: And then I have my brother and he's ten and
Speaker 1: he lives in Uganda with my mom. And how are
Speaker 1: your parents? Did they give you any sort of like
Speaker 1: how are they about sex? Did they talk to you
Speaker 1: about it? Or was it the subject you guys don't
Speaker 1: really touch when you're together. Um, they don't really talk
Speaker 1: about it. It's it's there, but like we just don't.
Speaker 1: We just don't talk about it. Um, you know, you
Speaker 1: did the whole birth control, but then that was like
Speaker 1: very just like let's just do it and then not,
Speaker 1: let's let's not focus on it when it's done. Birth control,
Speaker 1: And then I I told my mother, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I should get birth control, And I actually told her
Speaker 1: don't tell my dad because I thought it would be
Speaker 1: like a really awkward thing, like a conversation to have.
Speaker 1: But you know, I guess she told him either way.
Speaker 1: But like nobody really just came out and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: so you got birth control, like the yeah, they my
Speaker 1: mom allowed it to happen and stuff. But it's very
Speaker 1: uh you're like, mom, I'm fucking I don't want to
Speaker 1: get pregnant. Kind of How old were you when you
Speaker 1: started birth control? I started birth control when I was
Speaker 1: nineteen or twenty. That's you don't need your parents. Um, well,
Speaker 1: I was on their insurance. Okay, they would have found
Speaker 1: out where were you living. I was living in Beijing
Speaker 1: at the time. Is that when, And that's where you
Speaker 1: lost your virginity? Yeah, so I lost my virgin But
Speaker 1: why were you in Yeah? Like you so well, now
Speaker 1: I have to tell you about my kind of semi
Speaker 1: life story in ordered. But when I lost my virginity, guys, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's all right. So when I was fourteen, my parents, um,
Speaker 1: they took me, sent me to boarding school in Kenya.
Speaker 1: I was like a British boarding school, and um, I
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to go because like I loved Terry Potter,
Speaker 1: and so I thought I was gonna be like that,
Speaker 1: Like I was gonna wear my blazer, get on the train,
Speaker 1: like be part of Hufflepuff and everything, shout out to
Speaker 1: all my Hufflepuff people. Um. So yeah. So when I
Speaker 1: got there, like it was a lot of culture shock
Speaker 1: and stuff, but I loved it. And then, um, in
Speaker 1: the British system, they do five years for high school.
Speaker 1: So I did three years in Kenya and I moved
Speaker 1: to Spain for two years for like my last two
Speaker 1: years of high school. And um, I went to Spain because, um,
Speaker 1: I really wanted to learn about the language, and I
Speaker 1: had a fascination of anthropology, and I found I felt
Speaker 1: I was like a little anthropologist because I was uprooted
Speaker 1: from my life in California. Moved to Kenya, like learned
Speaker 1: a bit of Swaihili and understood life there. And then
Speaker 1: I moved to Spain and then like I was learning
Speaker 1: this whole other language and immersed in another culture and
Speaker 1: so yeah, and so I did that for two years.
Speaker 1: It was difficult, but you know, I speak four damn.
Speaker 1: But like I'm more better, more better. English sucks no,
Speaker 1: but I say that kind of thing too, and I
Speaker 1: only know one language, so English is a tricky it is, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I feel better about sucking up words all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: English Spanish a little bit, but because I learned Chinese afterwards,
Speaker 1: and then my mother tongue Luganda in in Uganda. Damn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so when did you after you graduated high school? So
Speaker 1: when I was in high school, I I kind of failed,
Speaker 1: like low ki failed, so like I can't believe in
Speaker 1: saying that out loud to the little but I did,
Speaker 1: and so I couldn't like immediately go to like college.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I have to do something, and
Speaker 1: so I found like a gap year um situation whereby
Speaker 1: I could be a teacher's assistant at the British School Beijing.
Speaker 1: And the school that I went to was the British
Speaker 1: School Madrid. So yeah, so I applied for that and
Speaker 1: I got in, and so I did my gap here
Speaker 1: as a teacher's assistant at the Bridal School Beijing for
Speaker 1: a year, and then I love China and everything was great,
Speaker 1: and then I found a university in Shanghai and I
Speaker 1: went there for two years and then I transferred to
Speaker 1: my current university, which is Long Island University Global College.
Speaker 1: Did I went to Spain, I went to Beijing, and
Speaker 1: now I'm in Long Island. So how this Long Island
Speaker 1: compared to Beijing. So now the thing about my school,
Speaker 1: Long Island University Global College, and that's the last time
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay like that. Um it's a global college.
Speaker 1: So UM, it's like one of its kinds. So the students,
Speaker 1: they spent three and a half years, um studying all
Speaker 1: over the world, all over the world, like in our
Speaker 1: different centers in Costa Rica, India, China, Australia. And then
Speaker 1: their last year, the first half of the year they
Speaker 1: do like research, they wherever they want. And then the
Speaker 1: last semester, which is what I'm in, you write your thesis.
Speaker 1: So my thesis is on like female genital mutilation in Uganda.
Speaker 1: So I did it during my last year of university. Okay,
Speaker 1: so before we dive into female general mutilation, which you
Speaker 1: know more about than anybody I've ever spoken to. Um,
Speaker 1: let's go back to Beijing. Yeah, So Beijing. So when
Speaker 1: I was eighteen, Um, you know, I was getting all
Speaker 1: I was getting paid and you know, it was a
Speaker 1: really interesting, um interesting part of my life because I
Speaker 1: had been going to boarding school and like someone was
Speaker 1: always on my ass about something about like doing things,
Speaker 1: and so I kind of became really independent in the
Speaker 1: form of like getting paid and like paying for bills
Speaker 1: and you know, partying and knowing when to stop and
Speaker 1: all of that. And so like one day when I
Speaker 1: was partying through I was wearing jeans and a T shirt.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even looking cute or anything. He just kind
Speaker 1: of got really drunk and ended up doing the doe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what they say about mountain dew, but that's also
Speaker 1: what you say about fucking doing the do. So you
Speaker 1: saw was it a guy from Beijing? No, I think
Speaker 1: it was. He was from Angola. Where is is that
Speaker 1: in in Africa? Okay I was gonna say, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like it was just like a random thing, and I,
Speaker 1: like all of my other friends they had done it,
Speaker 1: and like I was like, man, I'm like eighteen, I
Speaker 1: should rather just get it over and done with. And
Speaker 1: how was it? It was horrible? Yeah, it was really
Speaker 1: really bad. What was it like seeing the thing? Like
Speaker 1: the penis just there? Did it scary. It scared me.
Speaker 1: It was just it was so awkward with your first
Speaker 1: time seeing a penis in real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so just all the first that one time, I was
Speaker 1: really intoxicated as well, and so I just didn't know
Speaker 1: what was going on. Was he intoxicated as well? I mean,
Speaker 1: I hope he was me too the times. It's hard
Speaker 1: to keep it up when you're in toxic It was up,
Speaker 1: it was I was there. I don't remember enough. Yeah, sadly, okay,
Speaker 1: you wish you The image of that dick is just
Speaker 1: forever engraced. Yeah, this is someone like you keep in
Speaker 1: contact with, you know, do you know last name or all? Right,
Speaker 1: Well that's kind of fun. That's fun. I guess I
Speaker 1: tell myself, did it? Did it? Did it? Part? Was
Speaker 1: a part of you a little relief to kind of
Speaker 1: like rip the band aid off. I'm not a virgin anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about that. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know what it does way on young women. I feel
Speaker 1: it doesn't. I ripped the band aid, but like I
Speaker 1: feel that everyone else's story was so sweet, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was with my boyfriend when I did in the
Speaker 1: back of the car, blah, blah. You know some stories
Speaker 1: like a car back seat love's sweet real. I think
Speaker 1: I think you're just lett together. People's stories sound better.
Speaker 1: I don't think yours was any better or worse. The
Speaker 1: back seat car. They're usually all equally awkward. I've done
Speaker 1: it a lot in the back of a van with
Speaker 1: my second boyfriend, and I mean it was cute because
Speaker 1: we like had cold Play in the background ship but
Speaker 1: soundtrack I also didn't. I've also done it in bathrooms
Speaker 1: and bars, and I'm like, that's cool too. What's it
Speaker 1: difficult to date because you were traveling so much? That's
Speaker 1: a great question. Yeah, it was. I guess I just
Speaker 1: kind of did what I have to do and then
Speaker 1: moved on. Like I'm not really like the touch a
Speaker 1: person who at touches on the person because I know
Speaker 1: I'm always going to go away. But I was like
Speaker 1: that until I actually found something that I actually cared about.
Speaker 1: When was that was? That wasn't okay, it wasn't. It
Speaker 1: wasn't that same dick in the bathroom. It wasn't. But
Speaker 1: he was equally a dick. No, no, oh, no, what
Speaker 1: happens he knows that he didn't do a good thing,
Speaker 1: but Um, yeah, I was with him for two years.
Speaker 1: This is when I was in university in Shanghai. Um,
Speaker 1: he went to a university next to mine, and like,
Speaker 1: he was like my best friend, he was my everything,
Speaker 1: and we grew together, and I guess we grew too
Speaker 1: much together, and like we were each other's people. Like
Speaker 1: I guess that gets annoying after a while. I don't know.
Speaker 1: And so like, yeah, we fought. He said he didn't
Speaker 1: love me anymore and packed up my things and left.
Speaker 1: I talked to him since yeah, yeah, it actually happened
Speaker 1: a year ago. What does he say to you though,
Speaker 1: Like you guys, just I'm sorry, Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. That's all. Well, So, um, let's get into
Speaker 1: why do you have a question? If you don't work, yeah,
Speaker 1: it'll be good. Um why why did you want to
Speaker 1: spend so much time working on female general mutilation, like
Speaker 1: and having not be the topic of her thesis? And
Speaker 1: then can you go into the four different types? All
Speaker 1: that good stuff? Alright? So, UM, I first wanted to
Speaker 1: do my thesis on um the Mosul tribe in China.
Speaker 1: So they're um a tribe that is like a matri
Speaker 1: arcal They have a matri archal society, so the women
Speaker 1: are heads of the society, And I thought, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I thought, like that clits off in that no no, no,
Speaker 1: they're going no, no no. So I that's what I
Speaker 1: wanted to do. Like I wanted to go there and
Speaker 1: live there and like kind of learn their language. And
Speaker 1: like my thesis was like going to be about how
Speaker 1: there's like domestic violence in this society, because I guess
Speaker 1: we always think that domestic We always perceived domestic violence
Speaker 1: to happen in a patriarchal society, a male dominant society.
Speaker 1: So I thought, oh, what will happen if it's in
Speaker 1: a matriarchal society. So then I told my professors and
Speaker 1: they're like, no, you can't go there because you don't
Speaker 1: know the language and blah blah blah blah, and they're
Speaker 1: all these other issues. And so I cried to my
Speaker 1: mom and she was like, you know what, Um, you
Speaker 1: should do female genital mutilation because my sister, who is
Speaker 1: in Washington, d C. She was like volunteering with this
Speaker 1: organization in Washington, d C. That deals like they talk
Speaker 1: with women victims of female genital mutilation. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: um she was doing some social work stuff there, and
Speaker 1: so she told my mom, and my mom told me that, yo,
Speaker 1: you should think about, you know, doing this, and so
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, fine, and so like I just googled it.
Speaker 1: I had no idea what it was, to be honest,
Speaker 1: like I knew things were cut, but I didn't really
Speaker 1: know the brevity of the situation. And so when I
Speaker 1: saw it, I was like, holy sh it, like this
Speaker 1: is real issues, and like I really want to know
Speaker 1: more about it. And like I told my mom this
Speaker 1: and she was like, yeah, oh yeah, we also do
Speaker 1: our own thing in Uganda. Oh well in Buganda and
Speaker 1: our tribe. And then this is um female general modification
Speaker 1: and whereby we elongate or laby on minora. And I
Speaker 1: had no idea about that before. Did she get that done?
Speaker 1: You can you explain? I'm curious. Can you just kind
Speaker 1: of explain for Americans when you say Buganda and Uganda
Speaker 1: and then Buganda tribe. I don't think we have a
Speaker 1: perspective of the tribes. So Uganda is a country, and
Speaker 1: within this country, and there are many different tribes, and
Speaker 1: so within a tribe, they have possibly a language or
Speaker 1: many different dialects of a language. They have their own
Speaker 1: culture is sometimes they have their own customs clothing, So
Speaker 1: it's like little groups within the entire country. So Buganda
Speaker 1: is the largest tribe within Uganda and so and that's
Speaker 1: the tribes the one I am from. And the tribes
Speaker 1: get along for the most part. Or is there a
Speaker 1: lot of problems amongst them so far to date? Yes,
Speaker 1: right now, we're we're getting along. Yes, we're fine. Most
Speaker 1: of the issues stem from like political we have political
Speaker 1: slight political instability in Uganda at the moment in terms
Speaker 1: of tribes were okay, and Stephen was mentioned at least
Speaker 1: I think you told this for me this too. They
Speaker 1: speak different dialects in the tribes, so it's hard to
Speaker 1: communicate to each other if you're in a different try
Speaker 1: in different regions. Um, if if their tribes and they
Speaker 1: live like farther away from each other but still in
Speaker 1: the same region, they could have changes in their dialects
Speaker 1: as well. And that was such a wild thing for
Speaker 1: me to understand it as an American that just kind
Speaker 1: of randomly found myself in Uganda, that we would go
Speaker 1: from one village literally down the road fifteen miles and
Speaker 1: the translators just be like I don't. I don't know
Speaker 1: you it's it's pretty crazy. Yeah, and so um why
Speaker 1: I did f jam so um my, so I learned
Speaker 1: about everything, and so I started um reading more about it,
Speaker 1: and so I realized that that there's four types. So
Speaker 1: the first type is clittera deck to me, UM, that's
Speaker 1: when they cut the clitters and the clittore old hood.
Speaker 1: Type two is when they cut um the clitterists, clitoral hood,
Speaker 1: and the labia minora, so that's the inner lips. And
Speaker 1: then the third type is um in fibrillation is when
Speaker 1: they remove um, the labia minora, labia majora, and the
Speaker 1: clitteriest and the clitoral hood, and then they stitch it together,
Speaker 1: leaving um just a small hole for menstruation. And you're
Speaker 1: in eating and you can't have sex with that. UM,
Speaker 1: well you can't. You can't have sex. They do de infibrillation,
Speaker 1: so they cut um where if if it's um scarred over,
Speaker 1: they cut and um an a in order to allow
Speaker 1: the women to have sexual intercourse. So um, it's it's
Speaker 1: a gruesome practice. And unfortunately in the region that I
Speaker 1: UM I did my research in, which was in the
Speaker 1: Eastern region or studying this sabey Um ethnic group. UM
Speaker 1: women do this as a rite of passage and many
Speaker 1: into womanhood. Yes, into womanhood. Yeah. So it's like a
Speaker 1: quote unquote quote passport in order for women to be married.
Speaker 1: And then when you're talking to the women about us,
Speaker 1: like do they seem like they were just kind of
Speaker 1: passing on traditions? Like verbally like do they seem into it? What?
Speaker 1: Or was it? Is it something like oh, Grandma's las on,
Speaker 1: your recipe gets passed down every Thanksgiving? Oh you get female,
Speaker 1: get your clarists cut off in order to get married,
Speaker 1: like comfortable to a briss you know. And we do
Speaker 1: celebrate male circumcision in America. Yes, I feel it's more
Speaker 1: more like UM the bristle is celebrated. Yes, they have
Speaker 1: about four day celebration. UM. It's very tight. It's tight
Speaker 1: into um spirituality as well. That's one thing we have
Speaker 1: to remember when we talk about this UM. When it's
Speaker 1: passed down, it's it's not just you get your clip
Speaker 1: cut off and all of this and then you're done. No,
Speaker 1: you're you also learn certain things that make you a
Speaker 1: woman in this in this UM culture. What are some things? Um,
Speaker 1: that's one of the things that they're not allowed to
Speaker 1: tell you. They said that it's sacred, and if they
Speaker 1: do tell you their repercautions to them, you could go
Speaker 1: and ancess. It's past history. Yeah, it's very very very
Speaker 1: sacred things. And I know we could sit here and
Speaker 1: say it's it's horrible and all of this, and it is.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it isn't, but we have to
Speaker 1: understand that it's it's someone's culture as well. And so
Speaker 1: when we're thinking about things that have to um, things
Speaker 1: that have to play in part to eradicate this practice,
Speaker 1: we have to try to like change people's mindsets and
Speaker 1: get into those cultural roots of why they because if
Speaker 1: there are so it seems like a lot of women
Speaker 1: in Uganda are so creating general mutilation with with a
Speaker 1: great it's it's a good thing. It's a thing that
Speaker 1: it's like the stage of their life. Do you know women,
Speaker 1: didn't you say you have friends that we're considering getting
Speaker 1: it we're kind of excited for. Oh yeah, did you
Speaker 1: get to know we're still talking about type of three.
Speaker 1: Type three and then type four is um female genital
Speaker 1: modification and so that is any type of pick pricking,
Speaker 1: um stretching, of the any part of a woman's genitalia.
Speaker 1: And then this is the one that we do in
Speaker 1: my culture in Uganda, and we do this. UM. It
Speaker 1: happens when a girl is young, during like her preteen ages,
Speaker 1: she goes to a um, a traditional doctor, and they
Speaker 1: have herbs and they elongated over a period of time. UM.
Speaker 1: It's a very painful process. But UM, from from what
Speaker 1: I've heard from my family, some family members, you know,
Speaker 1: it increases women's sexual pleasure. Possibly, that's what they say.
Speaker 1: And the only thing you're doing is stretching your vaginal whips.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't see why it would take away
Speaker 1: from pleasure unless there's nerve damage done. What the actual
Speaker 1: stretching And you said your mother had that done their
Speaker 1: asset and she did she say anything about the sexual pleasure.
Speaker 1: She told me that there's no benefits to it when
Speaker 1: I spoke with her. But speaking with other family members,
Speaker 1: they say that's something. Did you ever have a moment
Speaker 1: where you that's a great question. Yes, I did. UM.
Speaker 1: When I first went to Uganda and I started talking
Speaker 1: to people about FGM and about the ones especially pertaining
Speaker 1: to my culture. I spoke to other Muganda women I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: so what is this, Like what does it mean? And
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, yeah, this is what it means to
Speaker 1: be a Muganda woman. And like, I always have a
Speaker 1: slight issue or not an issue, identity issue. Let's say
Speaker 1: about where I fall. So am I an American girl
Speaker 1: or am I a Ugandan woman? Or am I a bug?
Speaker 1: You could be an American woman. Yeah, but the beauty
Speaker 1: of it is on all of these things. And at
Speaker 1: the end of my research, I realized that I don't
Speaker 1: need to elongate my my vagina lips in order for
Speaker 1: me to be part of this tribe. Yes, it's more
Speaker 1: of an inner feeling and you're getting familiar with the
Speaker 1: culture and immersing yourself in it. Did you mean it
Speaker 1: seems like such a conflict that in America we often
Speaker 1: think about the opposite, Like we talk about laby a
Speaker 1: plasty and we talk about you know that is it
Speaker 1: just seems like such a strange mental conflict that we've
Speaker 1: two opposite visions of what right? And yeah, well, the
Speaker 1: Americans sometimes we'll get there, get an operation on their
Speaker 1: vaginas that has nothing to do with the pleasure, but
Speaker 1: it can negatively affect your pleasure. To so that they
Speaker 1: have less of an external vagina. So it's just getting
Speaker 1: your lips like basically cut almost so that so that
Speaker 1: it looks like it looks like yeah, which is silly. UM.
Speaker 1: And then in your country it seems like they're doing that,
Speaker 1: but not for esthetic purposes. It's more of like a
Speaker 1: I don't know, like UM, like getting knighted, something that
Speaker 1: men prefer that that men talk about as UM. Through
Speaker 1: my research, I had the opportunity to speak with husbands
Speaker 1: of survivors of female genital mutilation. And I just want
Speaker 1: to say, I mean survivors as the victims. But Okay,
Speaker 1: I was gonna do people die during the process, Well,
Speaker 1: yes they do, But in when I'm talking, I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: in terms of the words that I'm using, UM, survivors,
Speaker 1: I mean victims of this practice. So when I'm speaking
Speaker 1: to the husbands, UM, they are well aware of the
Speaker 1: effects that f GM has on their wives, especially in
Speaker 1: terms of their own pleasure. The woman is not as
Speaker 1: lubricated as a woman who isn't cut is, and they
Speaker 1: are unable to enjoy sexual pleasure, and that therefore it
Speaker 1: causes issues in the marriage. But then they still UM,
Speaker 1: pertect abide by the culture, and you know, allowing women
Speaker 1: to have f GM happen to so you can't, so
Speaker 1: you have to Culturally, it's better to get it done
Speaker 1: before you get married. You should get it should in quotes,
Speaker 1: get it done before you're married, so presumably to should
Speaker 1: do they encourage people to wait to have sex until
Speaker 1: they're married. Um, I feel that sex is still something
Speaker 1: that you have to do after marriage. Okay, but do
Speaker 1: do they in that in your country? Like? Do they
Speaker 1: do they do that too? I mean, is it traditional
Speaker 1: for most of women to wait to have sex until marriage. Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's traditional to wait. But people do whatever they want, right. Um.
Speaker 1: But in terms of cutting, um, before long long ago, um,
Speaker 1: it would be a right of passage for a girl
Speaker 1: into womanhood. But during modern times, some women do get
Speaker 1: cut after being married due to the different um you
Speaker 1: know people. Um, when a woman is cut, she gains
Speaker 1: a higher stands in society in this area and so
Speaker 1: like if she's having issues with being like bullied, or
Speaker 1: the mother in law is not being nice to her
Speaker 1: and everything, these pressures may encourage her to go get
Speaker 1: cut so people respect you more. Yes, that's the same thing.
Speaker 1: As like if you're marrying a Jewish guy and then
Speaker 1: you convert to Judaism, kind of the mother in law
Speaker 1: like you more similar kind of thing, but you know,
Speaker 1: there's no cutting, and that just going and naked in
Speaker 1: a big pool of water and banging through ship doesn't
Speaker 1: it's not as fun as because that's a different kind
Speaker 1: of Judaism. There's lots of different ones. So a lot
Speaker 1: of times it seems like these married couples don't even
Speaker 1: get an opportunity at a good sex life, and that's
Speaker 1: very unfortunate. Do the guys get anything, None of them. Um,
Speaker 1: the guys they do have male circumcision, but it's not
Speaker 1: the same. Um did they get that done as kids?
Speaker 1: It could be any time because they nowadays they say that, um,
Speaker 1: it's better for a man to be cut in order
Speaker 1: to stop like spread of ad viruses such as hip
Speaker 1: aids And so is that true? I think so. I don't.
Speaker 1: That's not that's right, but that's what they're saying these
Speaker 1: days now. A lot of these these practices of the
Speaker 1: mutilation are done by I know some are done by doctors,
Speaker 1: but some, it seems, are done by just members of
Speaker 1: the tribe who are have no medical backs exactly, and
Speaker 1: that is a horrid yeah issue, And that's what we
Speaker 1: have to think when we're thinking about these different types
Speaker 1: of fgm. UM. A woman who comes to cut, she's
Speaker 1: she's usually the spirits tell her that she has this
Speaker 1: gift of cutting. Maybe her grandmother was cut it was
Speaker 1: a cutter, and then her great grandmother was a cutter.
Speaker 1: So therefore the spirits come and tell her. And so
Speaker 1: she has no medical background, and so who knows how
Speaker 1: much skin she's taking off? So where here sat down saying, oh,
Speaker 1: it's type one or type two? But in in reality,
Speaker 1: we actually have no idea what is and what's the
Speaker 1: reason for the four different types of female genital mutilation?
Speaker 1: Is there any like history or what's the how did
Speaker 1: they come up with those four different types? Well at
Speaker 1: this moment, I'm underre about how they come up with it,
Speaker 1: but I know that there's different types due to the
Speaker 1: different countries that um that kind of uh do this practice.
Speaker 1: So in uganda's type one or type two, but in
Speaker 1: Somalia they could be type three or type four, variations
Speaker 1: from different countries. How in common is this? How many
Speaker 1: people are we? Okay? So in the continent of Africa,
Speaker 1: there's twenty eight countries that still practice female genital mutilation UM.
Speaker 1: There are also countries in Asia and in the Middle
Speaker 1: East UM so a hundred and forty million women UM
Speaker 1: in in riches in regards to the World Health Organizations
Speaker 1: fact sheets on f GM have been UM mutilated. And
Speaker 1: in Africa it's two million women girls each year that
Speaker 1: deal with this. Damn yeah, do you well? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think the question that comes to mind is just
Speaker 1: why is are there they're recurring themes of why would
Speaker 1: you do this? You know when you said that they
Speaker 1: do it spiritually, but but are there practical societal reasons?
Speaker 1: Because it's completely different. I mean in the different types
Speaker 1: it's sex. Any sex would be painful, right, but um,
Speaker 1: there are different there are other reasons as to why
Speaker 1: this happens. Is not solely because of right of passage.
Speaker 1: There's also economic wealth in this um and on both
Speaker 1: ends in terms of the cutter as well as the
Speaker 1: candidates for cutting. So now the cutter, UM, they receive
Speaker 1: a lot of money, they receive a lot of cattle,
Speaker 1: they receive um, beer or any anything. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: if I was in africa'd be like someone told me
Speaker 1: to be a cutter. Someone came to me in my
Speaker 1: sleep to be a cutter. Not general, it's not generalized
Speaker 1: as well in this region in eastern Uganda. UM, in
Speaker 1: this ethnic group, let's be specific. You can get so
Speaker 1: you can get these things from this spirit Um. Spirituality
Speaker 1: is a very sacred thing. And so UM we we listen,
Speaker 1: well they listen to the ancestors and you know, dreams
Speaker 1: and all of this. And yes, Um, a woman could
Speaker 1: wake up and say, yes, the spirits have told me
Speaker 1: that I should become a cutter, and so be it.
Speaker 1: So Um, the cutters have a lot of economic benefits
Speaker 1: from this procedure as well as the candidates. Um. As
Speaker 1: I said, it's a ceremony and people are just handing
Speaker 1: you money, handing you all of these things. And so
Speaker 1: if a in the area where maybe there's a lack
Speaker 1: of UM proper income, sometimes people could be driven to,
Speaker 1: you know, do this practice in order to gain um
Speaker 1: some type of wealth. And UM, I would like to
Speaker 1: say also that there is uh anti f GM law.
Speaker 1: It's may happen in two thousand intent and so my
Speaker 1: thesis actually was um trying to understand why there was
Speaker 1: like a lack of programs for the survivors of f GM,
Speaker 1: and like how the law has affected the women who
Speaker 1: have had FGM. Is this law in for Yugana, Yes,
Speaker 1: it is for Yugana and there there has also been
Speaker 1: a law passed in Gambia and quite recently there was
Speaker 1: a law passed in Nigeria. Oh, so the government's actively
Speaker 1: trying to stop So it's not like this is it's
Speaker 1: a running rampant and there's no one trying to stop it,
Speaker 1: but it's still it is still happening. And so through
Speaker 1: my research, um, even though we do have our the
Speaker 1: law that happen in two thousand ten, UM, this has
Speaker 1: cost this practice to go underground, so people are doing
Speaker 1: it in secret. And one the worst thing about this
Speaker 1: is that the women who are victims of this, they
Speaker 1: are unable to you know, go freely to the doctor
Speaker 1: and possibly seek medical help because the law it um
Speaker 1: criminalizes the people who are part of the process. The
Speaker 1: criminalizes the cutters, and it also in criminalizes the women
Speaker 1: who has gone through the practice abortion. True, and I
Speaker 1: find it really counterintuitive to be imprisoning a woman who
Speaker 1: has actually gone through it. And that was one of
Speaker 1: the major questions I had through my research. I was
Speaker 1: constantly asking what is the purpose of throwing a woman
Speaker 1: who's gone through this practice in jail? And they're like, well,
Speaker 1: it's it's an example. It's as an example to the population. Oh,
Speaker 1: if you do it, then you're going You're going to
Speaker 1: go to jail. It's a very stern and a it's
Speaker 1: a punishing law. And through my research I tried to understand,
Speaker 1: like why is the law it needs to be punishing, obviously,
Speaker 1: but why isn't it um having clauses to help these
Speaker 1: women as well? Like you have the opportunity to write
Speaker 1: whatever you want, I guess in the law. And so
Speaker 1: why can't we have like um support groups or something
Speaker 1: out there for these women? And so there's so that
Speaker 1: means that they're spiritual beliefs really are hold stronger than
Speaker 1: all of the potential consequences of people modern day women
Speaker 1: in Uganda is still want to get this done. But
Speaker 1: is it I mean, what's the common age for the
Speaker 1: different types usually different types of the different types of mutilation?
Speaker 1: I mean, is it? Are they like seven thirt al right?
Speaker 1: So in Uganda the Eastern region, I'm disobey there's only
Speaker 1: type one and type two that happened. And so kids
Speaker 1: are cut usually between the ages of ten to fifteen,
Speaker 1: so pre teenage, they're not usually making it, are they
Speaker 1: aware something with their parents? Well, imagine if you were
Speaker 1: out there and you know, you have like older sisters
Speaker 1: or older friends that are like dressing up and like
Speaker 1: having a party and like dancing, and everything's going great,
Speaker 1: and they're getting ready to go and do this really
Speaker 1: cool ceremony that's going to make them into a woman.
Speaker 1: Like when you're yeah, in a young state, you'll be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm about to go do it, like but you don't
Speaker 1: really know, like what's actually going to happen to You
Speaker 1: don't know the negative effects, the consequences that you will
Speaker 1: be um dealing with. But then nowadays, in um, in
Speaker 1: modern society, women are going to going to get this
Speaker 1: procedure done after marriage, and so it's it's quite quite interesting.
Speaker 1: It varies. It's a very but the women that haven't
Speaker 1: done very young I feel resentful because they they don't
Speaker 1: get that, I don't get that sexual satisfaction. They don't
Speaker 1: get that, you know they kind of I mean do
Speaker 1: they do do they have? No? It's sex still pleasurable
Speaker 1: and if it's not, do they wind up? I would
Speaker 1: be So I wonders, like you just you never know
Speaker 1: something that you I was gonna say, you don't know
Speaker 1: other we don't know how good an orgasm feels if
Speaker 1: you've never had because I know my my coworker is
Speaker 1: actually from Tanzania and she has a friend in Connecticut
Speaker 1: who is a survivor of general mutilation, and she's married,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I could have sex for like eight
Speaker 1: hours and like I can go all night because not
Speaker 1: that it's painful, she just basically doesn't feel anything. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like you know, putting a keen hole or
Speaker 1: something like it just you can keep doing it without
Speaker 1: really any So that's now it seems like even you
Speaker 1: are a bit torn about it, because before we were talking,
Speaker 1: you were like, you know, keep in mind, this is
Speaker 1: a tradition and this is very spiritual. But yet then
Speaker 1: you still refer to these people as victims and survivors.
Speaker 1: So it's like, how, what's your how do you stand
Speaker 1: on it after all your your research, after all my research.
Speaker 1: I firmly believe that it is it is not a
Speaker 1: beneficial practice. It has no health benefits. In either way.
Speaker 1: More so, a woman's pleasure is taken away, and it's
Speaker 1: it's it's unfortunate that a person, a woman is able
Speaker 1: to grow up not knowing, as you said, what in
Speaker 1: orgasm fields and not having that um liberation and all
Speaker 1: of that. And but in order to change this or
Speaker 1: or in order to fix not fix the problem, but
Speaker 1: stop this from happening, we have to be mindful of
Speaker 1: the type of UM culture that is there. You have
Speaker 1: to respect their culture together. Yeah, yeah, you have to
Speaker 1: respect the culture, but work with what you have in
Speaker 1: order to change it as well. I think it's more
Speaker 1: about educating. Yeah, educating, that's true, that's true, but using
Speaker 1: the language that they use. And yeah, because you don't
Speaker 1: want to talk down to people. This this is things
Speaker 1: that I've been going on for a long time. You
Speaker 1: want to just like bust and be like, yo, this
Speaker 1: is stupid and you're dumb, and this isn't progressive and
Speaker 1: we're gonna change everything, And that's very that's not the
Speaker 1: way to go about it. And with all these with
Speaker 1: the law and everything, I feel that that's how it's
Speaker 1: it's going about the situation. The law is fantastic, it's
Speaker 1: a great stepping stone. It has allowed for different sensitization programs.
Speaker 1: These are programs to educate the population to stop FGM.
Speaker 1: They've worked with churches, you know, they work with the
Speaker 1: elders and the and the community to stop it. And
Speaker 1: this is great. However, I feel that we we need
Speaker 1: to start working on the local level and speak the
Speaker 1: language that um, the people in the local community speak.
Speaker 1: So are you saying like these these laws were created
Speaker 1: by people who are just like of a different social
Speaker 1: and economic status, so they don't they're not really like
Speaker 1: living the life that these people in these tribes. So
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like they're creating a law for
Speaker 1: a life they know nothing about, or because their laws
Speaker 1: created by people in Uganda. Correct, yes, okay, so it's
Speaker 1: not like you know, it's not no, no, not so
Speaker 1: much white people coming in, right, I'm like, because I'm
Speaker 1: just like, so it's the same. It's the same, of course,
Speaker 1: the same people. However, it's like the different there's urban
Speaker 1: areas and their rural areas. And through my research that
Speaker 1: these are the two different areas that I was studying.
Speaker 1: In the urban areas, people are more respective to the
Speaker 1: law because yes, they're educated as they understand, like you
Speaker 1: have to bide by the law. The law is there
Speaker 1: for a reason, you understand the health issues and everything. However,
Speaker 1: when I went to the rural areas, all of these
Speaker 1: things were not They're not concrete. They're like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: they're just saying these things, but it doesn't reson as
Speaker 1: much in the rural areas that it does in the
Speaker 1: urban areas. Literacy can play a part, but also, I
Speaker 1: mean the different languages too, would you say, um, that's
Speaker 1: true as well? The law is not um formally written
Speaker 1: in there the groups Sabay, which is their traditional language. However,
Speaker 1: there are documents that are translated into their language. However,
Speaker 1: some some people may not be able to read or something.
Speaker 1: I mean, these problems mirror problems that are happening all
Speaker 1: over the world. It's just you know, educated, more more educated,
Speaker 1: wealthier people creating laws that are really hurting people at
Speaker 1: the bottom exactly. I mean, this is yeah, this is
Speaker 1: just everywhere now. And for what was I gonna say, um,
Speaker 1: do you think the people these Ugandan laws were made?
Speaker 1: Because uh, continue, it's a good question. It was a
Speaker 1: good question and I totally forgotten. Also, is you Gondan
Speaker 1: that is that the proper is that the proper way
Speaker 1: to use that like a dam like is it Ugandanian?
Speaker 1: So I just I just guess and yeah, exactly. Uh No,
Speaker 1: do you think what was the reason for them creating
Speaker 1: these laws? Like do you think it was purely because
Speaker 1: of health? For health reasons? Was it for economic reasons?
Speaker 1: And I'm also curious, how does it's the government? How
Speaker 1: does Christianity and kind of tribal beliefs ballots out in Uganda?
Speaker 1: I mean, is there or just just religion in general?
Speaker 1: I mean, are there different religions? How does that break down?
Speaker 1: Look like? These are awesome questions and I I'm going
Speaker 1: to answer her his first and then her come to yours.
Speaker 1: So your question was I forgot No, there it was
Speaker 1: where were they What was the reason for them creating
Speaker 1: this laws? Was it? Were they truly worried about the
Speaker 1: women's health? Was it? Usually you know, that's like a
Speaker 1: money thing when it's a law a lot of times.
Speaker 1: But I just curious if you had any background on that.
Speaker 1: All Right, So in the Constitution in Uganda UM it
Speaker 1: does say that citizens are allowed to practice their own
Speaker 1: forms of traditional um cultural practices. However, there is a
Speaker 1: clause there that says, no, you cannot practice a traditional
Speaker 1: cultural practice if it harms someone. And so in this
Speaker 1: case it does, it harms it's very detrimental to a
Speaker 1: woman's health. Is that only physical or cannot include mental harm?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a great question. I will think
Speaker 1: you're a woman now because you're having this procedure done.
Speaker 1: But then I mean, I don't know even in a
Speaker 1: larger skill like does it pertain to mental health as well?
Speaker 1: Also often psychological needs? And also what does mental health
Speaker 1: look like? I mean the place when I went to Uganda,
Speaker 1: I was in northern Uganda, So it just what does
Speaker 1: mental health even look like in a village? Think about
Speaker 1: are they just thinking about survival health? Mental health? Um?
Speaker 1: In the Ugandan context, we there are there is a
Speaker 1: mental health hospital, but um, we do not have the
Speaker 1: proper resources, I feel yet or the proper understanding as
Speaker 1: a country as to how um detrimental or how mental
Speaker 1: health is to human beings and so um mental health
Speaker 1: is also seen could be seen as having evil spirits,
Speaker 1: and people focus more on that than on the fact
Speaker 1: that there is actually a chemical impotence exactly. And so Um,
Speaker 1: this whole idea of spirits and like bad omens and
Speaker 1: bad juju is a big thing in society and it
Speaker 1: kind of overlooks the real issue. But sometimes for as
Speaker 1: someone who like the everyone in the tribe things, they
Speaker 1: have bad spirits, like they might just be a schipsophrenic,
Speaker 1: and it's just like a different way of talking about it. Yes,
Speaker 1: but it's it's not the same way as here, Like
Speaker 1: when someone schizophrenic you just maybe give them therapy, medication
Speaker 1: or everything's going to be fine. But there it's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: you know this person has evil spirits, let's go pray
Speaker 1: for them. And um, I feel that something we still
Speaker 1: as a country, I hope are going to continue working
Speaker 1: on and gaining more UM sensitization and all of that,
Speaker 1: and learning more about mental health so we can deal
Speaker 1: with it in a in a proper way. Going back
Speaker 1: to the general mutilation topic, I wanted you to talk
Speaker 1: about really quick that one hospital for the transgender woman. Right,
Speaker 1: there's that story and I don't I don't know a
Speaker 1: lot of information. It was just one instance. So did
Speaker 1: you never got to speak with her? I did get
Speaker 1: to speak, but it was just like on the off chance.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, there there was what's your deal? There
Speaker 1: was a transgender woman from Yugana. Y transgender man. I
Speaker 1: think was born born a man or born a woman.
Speaker 1: She was born a woman, okay, and then transition to
Speaker 1: a man, so transgender man. Okay. No, No, it's okay.
Speaker 1: It's can be confusing to the most open minded. I understand.
Speaker 1: I'm very sorry, and I appologize. No, no, not just
Speaker 1: we are the right countries in like, you know, people
Speaker 1: are listening, and I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I want everyone to feel uncomfortable. No, it's not nice,
Speaker 1: but it's important you learn more from being uncomfortable. And
Speaker 1: also just I mean keeping up with the pronouns. Like
Speaker 1: the respect is there, but sometimes I can't, Like I'll
Speaker 1: accidentally say the wrong pronoun and I'm not I don't
Speaker 1: mean anything against it. Just work with me. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to learn. Plug to watch Patton Offswald and special Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh what's that. It's like he's just a comedian and
Speaker 1: he talks a lot about that in it, and it's fabulous.
Speaker 1: It's a great bit on on pronouns. Um and so
Speaker 1: does bond Um. Okay, but anyway, go this transgender man. Um.
Speaker 1: I met her at a part and where um in Kampala. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a group of people that like worked like
Speaker 1: you and women and they were like having a bar
Speaker 1: crawl and so I just went because you've gotta have
Speaker 1: fun every once in a while. And so got out
Speaker 1: of the house that day and um, yeah, I just
Speaker 1: spoke to her and she was telling me that her
Speaker 1: and like a group of other him, he and a
Speaker 1: group of other. I was like, currently, okay, so him
Speaker 1: friends of theirs. Um, we're going to create like an
Speaker 1: organization for people to be more understanding about who they
Speaker 1: are and what they represent. And um, I just found
Speaker 1: it very fascinating because in Uganda we have very strong
Speaker 1: laws on um gay rights and all of that. Well,
Speaker 1: there's no gay rights in Uganda. It's it's very unfortunate
Speaker 1: and it's also another thing that we have to work
Speaker 1: on as a country. It's it's illegal to be it
Speaker 1: is do you go to jail for life? I don't
Speaker 1: know about the sentencing, but that's so frecking horrible. And
Speaker 1: then I mean that if a person isn't able to
Speaker 1: live freely in their own country, that's jail enough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, Oh, that was very wise. That was said. Guy,
Speaker 1: what's it like to be a transgender man in Uganda?
Speaker 1: Like I mean, like is it? I mean, is there
Speaker 1: one and we all know them? And like everyone knows
Speaker 1: and you gone if they heard this podcast who were
Speaker 1: talking about? Is this? I don't think so? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but literally, like, is it so not common
Speaker 1: that if we are talking about this, everyone's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I know that guy like Bob Dave. I mean that's
Speaker 1: ballsy a's fuck. Yeah, but it's still a very sensitive topic. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course if homosexuality is illegal, I cannot imagine the
Speaker 1: brutality that's brought again trans people. That's sucking horrible. But
Speaker 1: this this transpan that you met, he operates, does he
Speaker 1: is he a doctor? He works? That's that's something else
Speaker 1: was another part of our conversation. Yeah. But there is
Speaker 1: um a trans woman currently a woman, currently woman transom.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, UM trans woman, a lovely woman. Um she
Speaker 1: Um is doing clitoral repairs and so I'm currently trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how to um um be in talks
Speaker 1: with her to possibly create a pleasure hospital or a
Speaker 1: cliptoral repair hospital in in Uganda just provide that service,
Speaker 1: maybe by teaching gynecologists in the country how to do it. Um,
Speaker 1: the procedure, it only takes about, I guess two weeks
Speaker 1: for a skilled gynecologist to learn. Do you get your
Speaker 1: clip back? What happened? Um? So the beautiful thing about
Speaker 1: the clitterers, guys, is that it's a lot more than
Speaker 1: we play with. Did you know that how in your body? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's deeper than nobody anyone who's listening to this right now.
Speaker 1: I just want to have a plug for Clitterance is like, go,
Speaker 1: I don't think you're going to need to plug clitters
Speaker 1: on this episode. Clitter google it. It's amazing. Um, it's
Speaker 1: a larger organ and it um, well I don't have
Speaker 1: a diagram here, but um, she's pointing down towards her vagina.
Speaker 1: So um, what we play with and enjoy all the
Speaker 1: time is the gland. And so it's just a little
Speaker 1: part of the clitteress. So what they can do is
Speaker 1: they can pull, um, the nerves within us out and
Speaker 1: create another another. Oh, it's like when you lose your
Speaker 1: string in your hoodie. This is great exactly. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like you just so you just
Speaker 1: pull it back out a little more. Yeah, it's more
Speaker 1: complicated than you don't start pulling your clips out, guys,
Speaker 1: there's like a day. But thank god, there's something that
Speaker 1: can be done through free to give women back pleassure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a fascinating thing and I am so
Speaker 1: happy when I found it. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do with my life. Yes, guys, pull
Speaker 1: the clips back like throw clitters is not we're having
Speaker 1: a Yeah, you get a clip, then you get a clip.
Speaker 1: So the oprah of clips. Yeah, that's fucking amazing. Now
Speaker 1: are women women who don't like so it seems like
Speaker 1: this the female general general mutilation process is very important
Speaker 1: in some of these tribes. So is there are women
Speaker 1: stigmatized who don't get it done, like, oh, you are
Speaker 1: not a woman. You did not Pasco, did not collet.
Speaker 1: That's funny. It depends on where this woman is in
Speaker 1: this society. So, um, if she's in the urban area
Speaker 1: where women are more educated, women can go and get
Speaker 1: um schooling and know that f GM is detrimental to
Speaker 1: a woman health, then they they are not going to
Speaker 1: be seen as like a girl or anything. But if
Speaker 1: she's in the area, maybe in the rural area where
Speaker 1: there's no literacy and um cultural traditions are law there,
Speaker 1: then she will be seen as a girl, and she
Speaker 1: will not be able to live efficiently an efficient life there. Um,
Speaker 1: and she will be ridiculed by the people are owned
Speaker 1: her well, but guys not want to have sex with her. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she will be seen as a child, she will not
Speaker 1: be a woman. And um there's various things a woman
Speaker 1: can do in in the rural areas, such as like
Speaker 1: collect water and maybe get the materials needed to build homes.
Speaker 1: And I know this may seem very like not much
Speaker 1: to us, but in this rural communities it's something that
Speaker 1: is is major. But um, so she would be dependent
Speaker 1: on other people to get water. She will just be
Speaker 1: the last person to go get because she still because
Speaker 1: she still as are clin damn. But times are changing
Speaker 1: and I have hope that hopefully someone out there, like myself,
Speaker 1: it is going to be able to go to um
Speaker 1: these rural areas and educate people in the fact that
Speaker 1: this is not a great um cultural tradition. You were
Speaker 1: talking to me about how you kind of wanted to
Speaker 1: start a non for profit organization to help because after
Speaker 1: we had that initial conversation, Um, you mean Steve, and
Speaker 1: I was like, how can I help? Like, can I
Speaker 1: donate money directly to somewhere or what? So you're thinking
Speaker 1: of starting a nonprofit for women in Uganda African countries
Speaker 1: that still practice female general mmutilation. Yes, um So, I'm
Speaker 1: graduating university on Thursday. Congrats, So you'll be graduated by
Speaker 1: the time this comes out. Oh really yeah, congrats graduation
Speaker 1: it finally um so. Um, I would like to take
Speaker 1: like possibly six months out to start creating the foundations
Speaker 1: to my organization. UM. I'm still trying to figure out
Speaker 1: if I want to have it registered here or in Uganda.
Speaker 1: But I will keep you guys posted if anybody cares
Speaker 1: or there's something you don't know too about this about
Speaker 1: how to start the organization is already obstacles you're currently facing.
Speaker 1: Because if anybody out there listening works for non for profit,
Speaker 1: and I know they do because they've emailed us before
Speaker 1: and maybe they have some knowledge they want to drop,
Speaker 1: Um they can. Is there anything steps in the process
Speaker 1: that you're I mean, I know nothing, so I don't
Speaker 1: know where where you're about shreening a lot more than main. Well,
Speaker 1: the beauty of this is I have all the information
Speaker 1: about what I want to do because I've wrote in
Speaker 1: this the written this thesis over and over again for
Speaker 1: like the past few months. But in terms of creating
Speaker 1: the organization myself, I haven't really had the time to
Speaker 1: sit down and think about those processes. But I mean,
Speaker 1: anyone who can help in terms of mentorship or in
Speaker 1: terms of just just some type of guidance, we'll put
Speaker 1: you in touch. My my good friends started Marriage Equality USA.
Speaker 1: We'll put you I know, lots of people and Grant
Speaker 1: who was on this episode also is a big not
Speaker 1: for profit person, so we'll put you in contact with
Speaker 1: lots of people. It's not it's more like l G
Speaker 1: B t Q I A stuff, but I think it's
Speaker 1: in the same family for sure. And also like if
Speaker 1: I when I go back to Uganda and I find
Speaker 1: that person that I talked to, that would be a
Speaker 1: nice person for them to yeah speak to as well. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and if anyone has any information to help, please email
Speaker 1: and its sorry about last night show at gmail dot
Speaker 1: com for that to you, Thank you, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming on. Thank you, congratulations for on graduating college.
Speaker 1: Thank you such a huge exciting step in your life.
Speaker 1: Thank you. You're such a well rounded young woman. I'm
Speaker 1: proud to know you're not you at mess you if
Speaker 1: you did, and something would be wrong if you go.
Speaker 1: You're managed really interesting people at parties. If nothing else.
Speaker 1: When you speak for languages, I mean, is there anything
Speaker 1: you want to ask? I am a little curious. I
Speaker 1: know you want to wrap up, But um, what does
Speaker 1: what does a sexual conversation look like in Uganda? What
Speaker 1: does the concept of sex education? How do people learn
Speaker 1: about sex? How do people think about protected sex? Um? Um?
Speaker 1: I feel that's a great um question. First of all,
Speaker 1: I want to like, can I throw questions out to
Speaker 1: our audience, like if anyone knows like an answer to
Speaker 1: that we have But like because emails from men and
Speaker 1: women of the region, and because I grew up um
Speaker 1: here and also in all these other countries, so I
Speaker 1: don't know firsthand the how people you know, perceive sex
Speaker 1: and learn about sex. But sexual from from my research,
Speaker 1: sexual education is it's very very low um, and it's
Speaker 1: more towards um abstinence and like don't touch a boy
Speaker 1: until you're married, and that's not sexual education and that's
Speaker 1: one thing. As a country. I feel that we need
Speaker 1: to learn about sexual education, telling people to not touch
Speaker 1: people or um the you know, HIV AIDS and wearing condoms,
Speaker 1: and that is needed. But I feel people need to
Speaker 1: start learning about their anatomy and then like, no, the
Speaker 1: different parts of it, and men and women and girls
Speaker 1: and boys should equally know about that. And yes, um
Speaker 1: abstinence could be great for some people, and using condoms
Speaker 1: is fantastic, but we need to start learning doing other
Speaker 1: things as well. Life. Yeah, and then develop a sense
Speaker 1: of like a respect for sexuality and your own sexuality
Speaker 1: and sexuality. I'm curious even more just in your conversation
Speaker 1: with friends when you're when you're in Uganda, you know,
Speaker 1: do they because you're very worldly and progressive sexually? I
Speaker 1: mean just from our conversations, were kind of know where
Speaker 1: you're at, and that's where the podcast is at. But
Speaker 1: when you say things like that in Uganda to people
Speaker 1: look at you. So, I mean, I've really been kind
Speaker 1: of mind blown that people reach out to us from Africa,
Speaker 1: that they find the podcast in Africa, and day I
Speaker 1: find that beautiful as hell. Yeah, it's really cool. Are
Speaker 1: the threesomes in Uganda. I'm pretty sure they are in
Speaker 1: their Yeah, yeah, no, I don't know you, but like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure they're out there. It's just that, like
Speaker 1: we're very quiet about it, like there's haven't been outlets
Speaker 1: yet that allow us to express these things. But I'm
Speaker 1: so happy that they're girls or boys out there that
Speaker 1: are writing emails to you, because it's like, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: all going through it. We're all humans, and you know,
Speaker 1: we all love sex. It's just can't any human oppriests,
Speaker 1: big or small, like when when it comes to their sexuality,
Speaker 1: their sexual preferences, anything, what you can and cannot do
Speaker 1: as a career. It's like anytime human soul is concurred
Speaker 1: in any way, it's going to manifest and explode eventually.
Speaker 1: It's like alcohol will always find a way together. And um,
Speaker 1: most of the people like that I hang out with,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna like my friends there, they've like all
Speaker 1: studied abroad as well, and so they have a more
Speaker 1: western quote unquote approach to sexuality and all that. So cool,
Speaker 1: it's not much difference. But yeah, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: you guys, and thank you. I have no idea what
Speaker 1: I've said for the past thirty minutes. Do you want
Speaker 1: people to be able to contact you if they want
Speaker 1: to follow up with anything? Definitely, yes, please we could
Speaker 1: We could get emails and for them to you if
Speaker 1: you want to give out and felt like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: could find me on Facebook. Is that a thing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: fok is a thing? Um Luan tele Calomara and I
Speaker 1: guess like when you click listening to this podcast on Suncloud,
Speaker 1: you can see my name with my name be there
Speaker 1: can your name Okay l w A n as in
Speaker 1: Nancy t A l E. And my last name is
Speaker 1: Calomara k A l E m E r A Calomara
Speaker 1: the color Mari making sure white people out there. Christina, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for your time and for your
Speaker 1: information and all the great work you're doing. Thank you, yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. This has been guys, We funck
Speaker 1: the anti slut shaming podcast. We'll talk to you next week.
Speaker 1: Is it to pay to to PRIs Prince first, to
Speaker 1: the bat to PRIs PRIs and and and