Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm correct sorry about last night the anti sludge Shaming Podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hello, Welcome to another episode of Guys
Speaker 1: We Fuck the Anti sludge shaming Podcast. Another hot episode
Speaker 1: coming to you live from a secret location. It's Christina's baby.
Speaker 1: The guys are wondering if you ever hear sirens or
Speaker 1: feet walking around, the clanking of the heat yipes in
Speaker 1: the kid. It's amazing. When I listened to it back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's funny because it didn't sound like that
Speaker 1: going in. I know. So sorry about that y'all. By
Speaker 1: the way, Oh yeah, I'm Christina. Hi. So we have
Speaker 1: some stuff to plug that we're really really really excited about.
Speaker 1: Some fun stuff. You get that, Chris, this money, that
Speaker 1: Christmas bonus going. These are places that you can see
Speaker 1: us perform. Yeah, um, we'll try to go in order.
Speaker 1: Uh So first, uh, this is Kurrent. I have Nachio Bitches,
Speaker 1: which is my monthly show at New York Comedy Club
Speaker 1: the Friday after Thanksgiving, which is November ten pm, New
Speaker 1: York Comedy Club. If you are in a city for
Speaker 1: the parade or something like that. That would be a
Speaker 1: fun thing to do. Uh, it's only five dollars with
Speaker 1: the code Nacho. Then the following Friday, still at New
Speaker 1: York Comedy Club, I have paid her pain, which is
Speaker 1: still with jay Nog and uh Ladies Ladies Zombie. I
Speaker 1: think she's going to be there, and she's very sexy
Speaker 1: and wonderful, So that's another fun show to come see
Speaker 1: on her face. I haven't seen her, haven't seen the
Speaker 1: other ones. Um And then also I know I mentioned
Speaker 1: I was on Laughs on Fox and my nine UM
Speaker 1: or whatever station that is in your You're part of
Speaker 1: the world that's online, so you can check that out
Speaker 1: on YouTube and I'll put it up on my social media.
Speaker 1: And is there anybody listening? Is there anybody listening who
Speaker 1: lives in Pennsylvania, Eastern Pennsylvania, specifically Montgomery County. I am
Speaker 1: doing stand up. I'm headlining my hometown. Karen's gonna be
Speaker 1: there as well. She's featuring. I'm doing it on Saturday,
Speaker 1: December twenty. It's at the Montgomery Theater Main Street. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put the link up for tickets their fifteen bucks.
Speaker 1: It's fifteen dollar tickets. It's in a theater. But here's
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do. Because usually comedy clubs have a
Speaker 1: to drink minimum, We're just gonna have booze available for
Speaker 1: a cheap suggested donations if you want to drink. But
Speaker 1: it's in Montgomery County, it's specifically Saturdin. But I really
Speaker 1: would love to see all you Pennsylvania Jersey nearby fucker's
Speaker 1: at the show. Uh. And I'll put the link up.
Speaker 1: We'll put all the links up for tickets for these
Speaker 1: in the description on SoundCloud, and our social media will
Speaker 1: be flooded with this information. That's gonna be a hot one.
Speaker 1: That's good. Christine and I will both be there, joined
Speaker 1: by Dan Friggolette Yes, and Corey Pace, who is a
Speaker 1: lovely friend and a very funny guy that I went
Speaker 1: to middle school and high school with. I'm so fucking
Speaker 1: excited to see you perform. It's going to be an
Speaker 1: amazing night. And I'm gonna be talking to you for
Speaker 1: like forty minutes and you really better get drunk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and not you, christ has formers, I mean the audience,
Speaker 1: not formers. But like I mean, I haven't have a
Speaker 1: designated driver because p A. Also, are you currently sitting
Speaker 1: in an environment when it is sixty degrees were above?
Speaker 1: Do you need people to host your holiday party? Can
Speaker 1: we do it? Called Corn and Christina, I'm quoting our
Speaker 1: hit n No, I know, it's so funny. I was
Speaker 1: just watching that the other day and I was like,
Speaker 1: this should have more than fifty three hits. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: also have shot on YouTube. Guy, we're just gonna plug everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is they never really do this. No, but seriously,
Speaker 1: it's so cold here and it's horrible and I'm so sad,
Speaker 1: I mean, the worst mood ever. I've been listening the
Speaker 1: system of a down in the violent Fems and all
Speaker 1: of these crazy bands. Azaleas hits and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know why everyone doesn't like her so much.
Speaker 1: People don't like her? Yeah, she like her one of
Speaker 1: the better singers artists out there that are not She
Speaker 1: needs more to her and Azalea Banks like quite like
Speaker 1: the both um, I quite like them. I quite like them.
Speaker 1: But no, seriously, yeah, so we have this idea like
Speaker 1: but basically, like, I know a lot of holiday parties
Speaker 1: are probably planned already. But do you own a company?
Speaker 1: Do you work for a company that has money? It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a ship ton of money, but
Speaker 1: it should be whatever money want to give us. Um,
Speaker 1: I ate lunch off on a Duncan donut skift cards.
Speaker 1: So we'll host your will host your holiday party. Um.
Speaker 1: We can bring other comics, or we can just bring ourselves.
Speaker 1: We're really funny. Can host musicians. If you want to
Speaker 1: do a talent show for your company, whatever the hell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're good at host. Hell you want, We'll do it.
Speaker 1: We're experienced hosts. Hopefully your company isn't a warm climate.
Speaker 1: We just want to get the funk out of here
Speaker 1: and do some comedy and drink some drinks. Okay, hanging
Speaker 1: out with you all night. Yeah. I'm in a weird mood,
Speaker 1: just the weirdest, craziest, angriest. It's like on and off,
Speaker 1: like I forget how upset I am, and then for
Speaker 1: maybe like ten minutes and I'm like, there's a lot
Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel, and I'm like, oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: everything sucks. No. Christina was texting me this after going crazy.
Speaker 1: I thought my phone was broken because I was like,
Speaker 1: how am I texting myself? No? I was definitely pulling
Speaker 1: a Karrin. I was definitely pulling a karn Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just in the weirdest fucking mood. And it's been
Speaker 1: for three days because it's really cold. I guess, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I mean, I guess that's why I don't know
Speaker 1: thing else wrongly, No, I don't think so, I don't know. Also,
Speaker 1: sometimes you're just allowed to be in bad. Oh. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: but it's like I haven't been having sex or or masturbate,
Speaker 1: like none of it. It's not even like a I
Speaker 1: don't want, It's just not even in my mind. You know,
Speaker 1: when you're in that mood, you're like, I don't mean
Speaker 1: that mood a lot. Yeah, it's such a bummer. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, And I can't. I'm such a happy person
Speaker 1: that it's only been three days. But I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm going insane because it's been three days of sad.
Speaker 1: That has to do with the coldness, though, because I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm going insane. To man, it's rough. It's
Speaker 1: when you well in New York, when you have like
Speaker 1: three feet to pace around when it's cold out, it's
Speaker 1: like being in a cage. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Rats
Speaker 1: and cages. No, I know, it's very smashing pumpkins a
Speaker 1: up right. We got a message on our SoundCloud that,
Speaker 1: um alarming. It was alarming. It was alarming. And I
Speaker 1: won't read the name because she asked to be anonymous,
Speaker 1: which is totally fine. Um, but I'm gonna read this
Speaker 1: to you guys, and if there's anyone, we some people
Speaker 1: who email us that are above the age of like
Speaker 1: thirty or like. I know, I'm probably one of your
Speaker 1: oldest listeners. No, we get. We have good emails from
Speaker 1: people from early teens to the sixties, eighties whatever. Shout
Speaker 1: out to Canada Nana, Nana, I love you and you
Speaker 1: and I've never met you, but I just feel like
Speaker 1: we're soulmates. Um. But yeah, so this message is from
Speaker 1: a freshman in high school and it really alarmed us.
Speaker 1: Hi cronic Christina. I'm a freshman girl in high school.
Speaker 1: Last night, I was dancing at a school dance with
Speaker 1: all of my friends. Also, keep in mind that everyone
Speaker 1: at the school dance at school dances are super close
Speaker 1: together and you're constantly getting pushed. Don't you love school dances? Um? So,
Speaker 1: this senior started grinding with me and I didn't think
Speaker 1: anything of it because a lot of kids do it.
Speaker 1: And then I got separated from my friends and I
Speaker 1: was just with this guy and I was surround it
Speaker 1: by a lot of other seniors. Anyways, the guy started
Speaker 1: rubbing rubbing me on the outside of my shorts, and
Speaker 1: then he put his hand in my pants and started
Speaker 1: fingering me. I tried to pull his hand out, but
Speaker 1: he was way stronger than me and I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't let me go. And I tried grabbing into
Speaker 1: onto a kid in front of me, but the guy
Speaker 1: on me pushed the kid who I was trying to
Speaker 1: grab onto. He kept grabbing on my boobs and my
Speaker 1: butt and was pulling my shirt higher and higher, and
Speaker 1: this whole time he was fingering me. Also, I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do now. He was seventeen, so I
Speaker 1: don't think he would get in trouble. Should I tell anyone?
Speaker 1: No one knows, not even my friends or my parents.
Speaker 1: That would just be kind of awkward. Oh me, he
Speaker 1: got finger raped like that was a very rapey thing
Speaker 1: that happened. I don't know what constitute does rape have
Speaker 1: to be insertion? I don't think so. I think it's
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's that is very alarming. And if
Speaker 1: that if someone puts our hands on you and inside you,
Speaker 1: and you don't want that to happen. There it's a
Speaker 1: school dance that everyone's mashed up together and the music
Speaker 1: is really loud, so maybe he couldn't hear you. I
Speaker 1: would elbow him in the I would hit him in
Speaker 1: the face for something I would I would actually like,
Speaker 1: you didn't want he didn't He knew that you didn't
Speaker 1: want yes, And don't ever let anyone tell you, oh,
Speaker 1: you wanted it, You didn't want it. You're fucking pushing
Speaker 1: on him. And this is the problem, very very largely,
Speaker 1: and not the in the male female thing and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know women are always accusing men. Well, it's because
Speaker 1: men are just physically stronger for the most part, and
Speaker 1: this is why it's such a huge problem. And this
Speaker 1: is why, for the most times is scarier for women
Speaker 1: than men. Were not saying that men never get molested
Speaker 1: or or urse. They do, but but rape happens. You
Speaker 1: can't stop a rape if you physically can't restrain the person. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's just not possible unless you have some sort of
Speaker 1: a weapon. So you I and we wrote you back
Speaker 1: on SoundCloud saying that we're so sorry this happened. They
Speaker 1: you for telling us. If you're going to tell somebody,
Speaker 1: please and you emailed us, that's great. Tell somebody that
Speaker 1: you trust. Don't tell your friends. Your friends are going
Speaker 1: to do ships because they don't have any power over
Speaker 1: this guy that did this to you. Guidance counselor parent
Speaker 1: teacher that you really like and trust. Please, please, please,
Speaker 1: if you haven't already, please, you need somebody fast. You can't.
Speaker 1: You can't let it like this. That's imfort and it's
Speaker 1: very relevant, irrelevant right now with the whole bill cost
Speaker 1: me thing, because it's like these people have been sitting
Speaker 1: with this for years and years and years. I can
Speaker 1: only imagine the amount of therapy and how it's affected
Speaker 1: their real life relationships. You can't let things like this sit. Okay,
Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong. You should not feel guilty, you
Speaker 1: should not feel embarrassed. Something bad happened to you. You
Speaker 1: need help, and the other person needs help and also
Speaker 1: to be punished. You need help, and that you need
Speaker 1: to tell somebody. That's just that's that's not okay. It's
Speaker 1: so weird, you know, because those middle school dances, well,
Speaker 1: she's in high school. I am middle school dances. This
Speaker 1: happened to you. It was seventh and ninth grade was
Speaker 1: middle school for me, and they were playing I remember
Speaker 1: in seventh grade, I was like I went to every
Speaker 1: dance because I was like blaze, I love boys, and
Speaker 1: I had like glitter in my hair and I was
Speaker 1: like neck. Those were a lot of cross tops to
Speaker 1: the boys and chokers from players. They were playing songs,
Speaker 1: and I was at we were all sexual deviance and
Speaker 1: that we didn't have sex in middle school, but we
Speaker 1: were like grinding on top of each other. I imagined
Speaker 1: it was hormones were a flowing, and I remember they're
Speaker 1: playing this song that I had loved. It's like, uh,
Speaker 1: all your latest pop, you'll pussy like this middle school
Speaker 1: dance and there are teachers supervisors because it has to be.
Speaker 1: And we're just grinding on these guys dicks or like
Speaker 1: my neck, my back, and they bleeped, bleeped pussy, but
Speaker 1: all the girls are like pussy. I'm like, this is
Speaker 1: middle school. Yeah, I'm a little bit cornballs. No, I'm
Speaker 1: a little older than used to my songs that were different.
Speaker 1: But I totally remember being at the Boys and Girls Club.
Speaker 1: I would get dolled up to go to these dances
Speaker 1: at the Boys and Girls Club and they would pay
Speaker 1: play like Shaggy missed a monastic and like, O'm my god,
Speaker 1: what exactly? I'm like, what are we? What are we
Speaker 1: doing here? And then I'm like, surely this is the
Speaker 1: ceiling of inappropriateness that songs are going to get to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like when we're forty are the song is just gonna
Speaker 1: be like I'm at your pussy. No, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like my tongue is grays and your clip. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: how more graphic can we get people? I feel like,
Speaker 1: hopefully gets more informative if we're gonna if we're gonna
Speaker 1: realize like in my asshole, but please like north, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just like give us more direct clid is right here,
Speaker 1: the clip is right here. It's more about the clip
Speaker 1: than the inside, y'all or thought you're gonna say, it's
Speaker 1: more about your clip in the ear. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Stick a dick in your ear, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't think I take when fit in my ear. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think it take anybody easier, especially not my elf.
Speaker 1: My elfin ears. They should make a Doctor Seuss book
Speaker 1: that's like sexual I know he died. I was like,
Speaker 1: he's dead. He did. But then it's like like somewhere
Speaker 1: we're got to find it. Guys, if you know of
Speaker 1: a running sex books, Sorry about last night show at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Oh my god. Also, I do want
Speaker 1: to think a lot of people wrote and tweeted me
Speaker 1: after my uh fadeaway rants last week. Well, the thing was,
Speaker 1: it was interesting. Again. Like I said, I didn't really
Speaker 1: didn't want to talk about that. I hate talking about
Speaker 1: ship like that. But I was like whatever, and I
Speaker 1: was so worried that I would come off sounding like
Speaker 1: a crazy person. And then I listened to it back
Speaker 1: and I was like, Krinn, this is just more proof
Speaker 1: that you are fucking great. I can't believe that someone
Speaker 1: going to look at you. What how well you talk?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, me too. Really, I talked to myself that
Speaker 1: my favorite talk that I had myself with myself recently
Speaker 1: was this summer before I went to Paula's Bachelor at weekend.
Speaker 1: I looked in the mirror and I said, Karn, this
Speaker 1: weekend isn't about you. It's about paul. I would need
Speaker 1: to give a pep talk to yourself about I looked
Speaker 1: at I gave myself a talk about how it wasn't
Speaker 1: about me, it wasn't about the Montreal Comedy Festival, which
Speaker 1: was coincidentally going on at that time, and it's a
Speaker 1: situation as deserving of a current talking very hard for
Speaker 1: me not to We did go. We did go anyway,
Speaker 1: but that's that was not They liked it, so, m yeah,
Speaker 1: that was that was just I said, that's hilarious. Whatever
Speaker 1: Paula wants. You know, there's a certain type of power
Speaker 1: that comes when you look into your own eyes. It's
Speaker 1: like you could tell yourself anything and you believe it
Speaker 1: because staring in your own pupils is just a unique experience.
Speaker 1: I'm saying it really is. Um and also and then
Speaker 1: also I got so thanks for all the emails, and
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people were emailing and be like,
Speaker 1: fidaways happen. Yeah, a lot of people were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, just Shane Shane Signer we had on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I totally gave him the fade away. Yeah that happened.
Speaker 1: Because I was talking to Steven about him, like why
Speaker 1: did I do that? He's like, what the funk are
Speaker 1: you talking about? That's exactly what you did, Shane. So
Speaker 1: much to the point that I felt bad for him,
Speaker 1: like I felt like I was intruding, Like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're totally right. Sorry. I was trying to think if
Speaker 1: I gave the fade away to anyone, I think possibly
Speaker 1: one person, but it wasn't. It was something that from
Speaker 1: the top I always had addressed was nothing, so I
Speaker 1: was always very clear about it. Um And then yeah,
Speaker 1: it also so what wrote me an email about how
Speaker 1: he thinks I'm depressed? And I forwarded to Christina and
Speaker 1: I go, have you met Karin? Do you listen to
Speaker 1: the pot? Obviously I was like yeah, Like I talked
Speaker 1: about it in my stand up, like Cinnamon tells Crunch
Speaker 1: the greatest. I have a bit called Depressed Woman and
Speaker 1: it's about me. It's autobiographical. You should call that bit
Speaker 1: a woman depressed. So, yeah, it was funny. But I
Speaker 1: do want to point out though there's a difference between
Speaker 1: clinical depression and depression. Pretty much every comedian in New
Speaker 1: York City, with the exception of Christina I'm happy except
Speaker 1: for the past three days, is depressed. That's why we
Speaker 1: do this. What do you talk like? I don't know.
Speaker 1: And also I think it's like your people, like anytime
Speaker 1: you feel depres us. We live in this nation where
Speaker 1: you gotta go, you gotta go see someone. No after
Speaker 1: a breakup, especially when it's been like a week or
Speaker 1: a fade away or whatever the funk it was, you're
Speaker 1: allowed to feel depressed. Okay, Like I don't need counseling.
Speaker 1: I need a bag of Twizzlers and a fucking moment
Speaker 1: and a plane ticket to Los Angeles. Like like seriously,
Speaker 1: like there's this thing that you gotta get better right away.
Speaker 1: You can't feel sad. No, you can feel sad. I
Speaker 1: mean if I'm still still sad six months from now.
Speaker 1: People throw things on you a lot, and they really
Speaker 1: they always forget that, Like you're just very honest with
Speaker 1: how you feel. Yeah, it's so fun. I actually it's
Speaker 1: interesting to observe people love well because people love diagnosing
Speaker 1: you with something, and I think there's something underneath. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, honestly, I'm probably doing more fine than
Speaker 1: anybody listening. And I really feel that way. As I said,
Speaker 1: Christina is the happiest person in comedy and I'm the
Speaker 1: most normal. So it's just that's just the way it is. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this is another email that I want to read
Speaker 1: from a person who also estimate main anonymous. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you ever don't want us to read your name,
Speaker 1: just let us know within the first a sentence or
Speaker 1: the yeah yeah, well were the whole thing. So I'm
Speaker 1: not sure this is my hormones getting to me. I'm ombulating,
Speaker 1: but I'm I'm kind of considering online dating. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's her irmones. I think that that's normal. Uh,
Speaker 1: Like I've been looking at sites all day. I mean
Speaker 1: I usually straight from the topic of dating and always
Speaker 1: push it aside. But honestly, I think it's due to
Speaker 1: my social anxiety. I know I want a relationship. Of
Speaker 1: my anxiety and my reputation as a mean emotionalist bitch
Speaker 1: really make it hard for me to say it this email.
Speaker 1: Did you are you? Guys, stop making fake emails and
Speaker 1: just ask me? God, Well, there it finally said it.
Speaker 1: I'm young, so I know there's nothing wrong with me
Speaker 1: being kissed yet uh not being kissed yet. Sorry. Now
Speaker 1: that I'm eighteen and a freshman of the community college
Speaker 1: who can't drive, has no job, and still lives at home,
Speaker 1: I often feel like I have. If I had a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: I'd have nothing to offer him. I mean, when you
Speaker 1: put it like that, but you probably have really great
Speaker 1: qualities that you're feeling of dress here. I mean I
Speaker 1: have tits and an ass's that's really like all you
Speaker 1: kind of need, all you need in this life. I
Speaker 1: have to ton ask, and I guess I'm funny, but really,
Speaker 1: what a guy want? What would a guy want with
Speaker 1: a with a job? What would a guy with a
Speaker 1: job want with a broke bitch like me? Guys don't
Speaker 1: care if girls have money, Well, don't be a lazy
Speaker 1: piece no one wants. But you're not lazy. And also
Speaker 1: you're eighteen, you're supposed to be broke. Do you probably
Speaker 1: have more money than me? Bitch? Okay, probably if we
Speaker 1: compare bank accounts. You know, sometimes I take screenshots with
Speaker 1: my barank accounts and I go, I'm gonna laugh at
Speaker 1: that one day, and then it just as years go by,
Speaker 1: and to keep doing I'm like, still not getting better anyway,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I met my friend yesterday who met
Speaker 1: her her new and first boyfriend online. She's happy. I
Speaker 1: told her I wanted to fund buddy, which is pretty
Speaker 1: much what I tell everybody. My classical line is I
Speaker 1: just want a homeie he will give me a good
Speaker 1: orgasm sometimes, don't we all. But I also want someone
Speaker 1: who doesn't just want my ass. I want to boo.
Speaker 1: I need advice, yo, Should I do it or not?
Speaker 1: If I do? Any free sites that offer background checks
Speaker 1: that that you could beck recommend? Yeah, okay, cupid. I'm
Speaker 1: just a poor girl from so cal who wants someone
Speaker 1: to appreciate it when she buys new panties and not
Speaker 1: call her hoe. That would be my lovely mama. Lovely
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, my mom's calling me right now.
Speaker 1: You know this happens little late. My mom always called
Speaker 1: me um. That's so funny. I said the word mom,
Speaker 1: and then my mom called me uh. And also to
Speaker 1: explore my romantic site, since I've honestly never done that
Speaker 1: in my life. By the way, I loved your show
Speaker 1: and you guys. I respect y'all's advice a lot, so
Speaker 1: it would mean a lot if I got some sort
Speaker 1: of response. I started from the beginning, and I'm in March.
Speaker 1: Started from beginning. I'm in March of this year. Upload
Speaker 1: more of your stand up on YouTube. Please, thanks, love,
Speaker 1: blessings and peace From a name that I'm not going
Speaker 1: to read. Do online dating. What is you're not gonna
Speaker 1: there's no harm in signing up. I recommend, I always recommend.
Speaker 1: I don't think you said background checks. I don't know
Speaker 1: if they do background check. I don't think they do,
Speaker 1: because look, I've been on some dates and if they did,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have gone on those dates. Not that I
Speaker 1: got murdered or anything, but it's like, you know, when
Speaker 1: you go out with a guy who's a ParaMed and
Speaker 1: he shows up in front of your house with an ambulance.
Speaker 1: You think it's sexy, and then you go and eat
Speaker 1: dinner with him and he eats a plate of wings
Speaker 1: with dirty fingernails. Oh, you're like, but you but here's
Speaker 1: the thing that happened, and that sucked. And it was
Speaker 1: like when you go on dates with people who kind
Speaker 1: of suck that know that that's going to happen and
Speaker 1: kind of see the funny in it because it's molarious suck. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So set your expectations so below, if you really will listen,
Speaker 1: if you really, if you really want something, I mean,
Speaker 1: you can do online and I think there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with that. I, like I said many times before, I
Speaker 1: don't do what I wouldn't do it. Uh, that's just
Speaker 1: because I don't like, uh, communicating with people. I don't
Speaker 1: sitting down and having a talk about, you know, all
Speaker 1: the things I've done in my life. I don't need
Speaker 1: to do that. I can give you some paperwork and
Speaker 1: if you want that, I'll text you you a press kit.
Speaker 1: Here's all the press of it. You know, it's an
Speaker 1: L magazine. I can have my manager for you want that. Also, though,
Speaker 1: another thing that you said is you tell people that
Speaker 1: you just want to fund buddy, but you obviously are
Speaker 1: interested in exploring romance. There's nothing wrong and being up
Speaker 1: front about that. So if you make your profile like
Speaker 1: I'm just moving a focal day, that's the guys you're
Speaker 1: gonna get. But if you're I think there's a section
Speaker 1: on okay, but what are you're looking for? And you
Speaker 1: can listen multiple things, but list a relationship if that's
Speaker 1: what you're looking for, because number one, that's going to
Speaker 1: help the guys who are reading your profile to go okay,
Speaker 1: this is someone that's interested in that. So I know
Speaker 1: when I'm getting into you know what I mean for
Speaker 1: me because I feel like I've been pigeonholed as you know,
Speaker 1: like the guys we fucked girl. Uh, and I know
Speaker 1: you don't want yeah, And I'm just like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm like, just because I don't believe in monogamy or
Speaker 1: because I don't want to get married, that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that I don't want a boyfriend or a meaningful relationship.
Speaker 1: I probably want it more than anyone else. I have
Speaker 1: this very extreme vision of having a power couple, you know,
Speaker 1: like having a partner in crime, like Victoria Beckham and
Speaker 1: David Beckham, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Like that's my
Speaker 1: I want someone who I can do ship with, like
Speaker 1: both business and pleasure. Yeah, I want a business partner,
Speaker 1: but but you know, someone who, like I will be
Speaker 1: like passed with everything you do and you'll be obsessed
Speaker 1: with everything I do, but not in an obnoxious one. Right, No,
Speaker 1: that's the best. It's not like every Facebook status you
Speaker 1: put up, Okay, it's not gonna happen, but be up
Speaker 1: friend about that. So I think, okay, Cupid, Like she
Speaker 1: has a broke bitch, So I think it's great she's
Speaker 1: got to do, you know, broken, because I would say,
Speaker 1: like your hand will be broken. I wish really fun
Speaker 1: harmony or something if you if you really are more
Speaker 1: serious about it, but those things you cost money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I met We had a guest on Adam and
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've listened to episode. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it was after March or not or what,
Speaker 1: but listen to the episode with Adam. That was my
Speaker 1: favorite guy that I met on okay Cupid and he
Speaker 1: actually I liked him so much. We dated for dated
Speaker 1: or saw each other whatever the funk it was for
Speaker 1: a few months and then he's engaged now to be
Speaker 1: married to a girl that he met right after me
Speaker 1: on okay Cupid. So it wasn't that Plenty of Fish too,
Speaker 1: isn't that? Yeah, But that's like, you know how Craigslist
Speaker 1: has a horrible interface. Yeah, that's like that. Okay, I
Speaker 1: don't like plenty of Fish and I don't like the name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: plenty of Flush. Don't kill yourself like I just well, no,
Speaker 1: it's cheesy. Also, okay Cupid is kind of making fun
Speaker 1: of that cheesiness. Of all, there is there out dating
Speaker 1: website where I could only like, only like tattooed gothie
Speaker 1: people are on it. If there is life for people, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if there is. Can someone please emails
Speaker 1: because I'll join that tattoo gotty people. Anyone looks like
Speaker 1: Marilyn Manson. If you look like a young Marilyn Manson,
Speaker 1: be my boyfriend dot com. Be current Fisher's boy for
Speaker 1: duck Um, I'm still I find that you are all
Speaker 1: from Go Daddie and we'll have people upload there God
Speaker 1: photos if anyone's like God but doesn't have the personality
Speaker 1: of a gop. So you're looking for a time and
Speaker 1: in the rough, can you message me? Can you email
Speaker 1: dot com? Okay, So our guest today is a guy
Speaker 1: that I fucked. Yeah, we haven't had that in a while.
Speaker 1: It's been getting hard because it's like great, the more
Speaker 1: people that listen, but the more people that listen a podcast,
Speaker 1: best people want to come on. I know, talk about yeah.
Speaker 1: And I actually want to talk to him about his
Speaker 1: hesitation because he said yes back in last when I
Speaker 1: saw him in person, I told him that I told
Speaker 1: him about the podcast, and he was like, that's amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sure I'll do it. And then I texted him a
Speaker 1: little later and I was like, hey, no, do you
Speaker 1: want to do it? He's like, um, well, I don't
Speaker 1: know so, and I feel like we've gotten from a
Speaker 1: lot of guys because one there's if they're not a comedian,
Speaker 1: there's nothing in it for them. There's no self promotion,
Speaker 1: there's no Yeah, so I get why a guy would
Speaker 1: want to do that. I never I get frustrated, but
Speaker 1: I totally understand. I feel like people, it's a nice
Speaker 1: way to just kind of resolve any any loose threats. Yeah,
Speaker 1: resolve any problems. Yeah, I resolved loose well when when
Speaker 1: he came on, that was that served that purpose for sure.
Speaker 1: Any guy we've had on pretty much, but this guy is.
Speaker 1: This guy is great because it was I think we
Speaker 1: only sucked once. We might have sucked more than once.
Speaker 1: I have. I have a lot of questions for him
Speaker 1: about what happened. But there was no like I like
Speaker 1: you on either end. It was kind of it was
Speaker 1: just nice, so freaking cute. I'm so excited that he's on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we'll be right back with our guests. I take
Speaker 1: one well, because you've left me to form my family
Speaker 1: at three three three from my heart ache and four
Speaker 1: for four for my headaches said five five had sixty
Speaker 1: sixty six month, So seventh seventh things and then tomorrow
Speaker 1: that the Moscot We're here with your podcast. Andrew, Hi, Andrew. Hello.
Speaker 1: Andrew walks into my house any points in my bedroom,
Speaker 1: He's like, that's where we fucked. I was in the basement,
Speaker 1: but I heard it all. I thought, I vaguely remember,
Speaker 1: but this is the room that we fun Yeah, we
Speaker 1: did it there, and Christina's boyfriend is in that room
Speaker 1: right now. He's currently there. Karrin pointed out, Krim painted down.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't meet him, know you guys, You guys look
Speaker 1: a lot alike. Yeah. I met I'm very weird Andrew
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago for the first time, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, you, you know, he looks like
Speaker 1: Steven exactly. But I didn't know that. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, you kind of did you have a type?
Speaker 1: I guess I do. I thought you, Yeah, that's me,
Speaker 1: that's your type. Yeah. Um, so you super well built.
Speaker 1: I wish well built, like muscular, which I'm not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not. I don't think either of us really care
Speaker 1: for a well built man that Yeah. No, no, well,
Speaker 1: but I'm wearing a Lumberjack shirt. You are so super
Speaker 1: cute and the glasses it covers up like unmanly body
Speaker 1: very well yeah done, Like, oh I'm so man but
Speaker 1: like you're not like you don't look like you have
Speaker 1: like a chicks body fat, you skinny fat, there's no
Speaker 1: tone definition whatsoever. I like my men like veal. It's
Speaker 1: like they're thin, but it's because they've been chained up
Speaker 1: and doing Wow. So so Holocaust victuts what that's horrible.
Speaker 1: It's like I don't go to the gym, but I'm
Speaker 1: also not fat. Sometimes when I want to lose weight,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just gonna stop eating. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to the gym. Best, the best way to
Speaker 1: lose weight, stop eating. It's the quickest. Um. I Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to lose really why um? Because I want
Speaker 1: to underneath the lumberjackshirt have more something to offer. Yo,
Speaker 1: check this out. You should get a trainer. Do you
Speaker 1: like working out? I used to and I have, but
Speaker 1: I actually had got like a shoulder injury this year,
Speaker 1: which is totally boring for this podcast to talk about.
Speaker 1: But did you get it while you were fucking? But
Speaker 1: like it definitely was difficult sometimes too funk with the
Speaker 1: shoulder injury because like I don't want to put too
Speaker 1: much pressure on you know sometimes like when you're on top,
Speaker 1: you're like holding yeah with your arms and that's like
Speaker 1: you're planking and public drusting at the same time. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny because Stephen had his shoulder and injuries. He
Speaker 1: had like girl on top, well, he had it dislocated
Speaker 1: for like a fifth time while he was eating out
Speaker 1: one of his ex girlfriends, Lindsay, who we had on
Speaker 1: the podcast for While he was eating her out, she
Speaker 1: like pushed pushed his legs against or something like that.
Speaker 1: I forget, but then his shoulder popped down. He was like, ah, yeah, seriously,
Speaker 1: that's like the worst thing about going down on chick.
Speaker 1: Like chicks need to not do the like crush your
Speaker 1: face with their legs. I know, do you do that?
Speaker 1: Because I do that at the beginning. I have glasses.
Speaker 1: The classes put the girl out now, but I don't
Speaker 1: want them to crack. And it's like my first line
Speaker 1: of defense either they cracked the glasses or my face.
Speaker 1: I choose glasses. Okay, So I mean if I was
Speaker 1: I couldn't really see that. Well, if I didn't have
Speaker 1: my contacts or my glasses, well I don't really need
Speaker 1: to see right there. The vagina is tunnel. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: sometimes I find myself like kind of doing it and
Speaker 1: then you kind of my eyes are closed a lot
Speaker 1: when doing that for some reason, and you're eating a
Speaker 1: girl out, yeah, and I have to remember open your eyes,
Speaker 1: like look at this delicious body, you know, because let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. Remember, I have a feeling that
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a very quotable episode. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. If you're going down in a chick
Speaker 1: for a long time, it's like you're excited, you're fucking
Speaker 1: boner terrific for you know, and then like after a while,
Speaker 1: you're not using your dick, you know, So I can
Speaker 1: say dick, right, guys can see say anything, So dick, dick, dick.
Speaker 1: What about dick three times? Is that? Yeah? Sure? But
Speaker 1: if you say dick three times or disappear something anything,
Speaker 1: dick on different? All right. So after a while you
Speaker 1: kind of like are doing this and you're like this
Speaker 1: is great, and then it kind of you're just like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, can you like jerk yourself off? But it's
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I want to kind of I
Speaker 1: have to focus. I can't multitas. I'm really bad. So
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be like grab a tit like listen
Speaker 1: to the listen to the voice people touch the clip.
Speaker 1: I was like yeah, I was like, oh, like there's
Speaker 1: just half chick. Open your eyes like you're operating a plane.
Speaker 1: You have all these there's too much it. I'd rather
Speaker 1: just like eat the ship out, you know, like keat
Speaker 1: the ship out, like ship dot com the bay the
Speaker 1: bay out eat. I'd rather eat the bay out and
Speaker 1: just like fucking go down there like rock her world.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like a fucking hero good man. And
Speaker 1: then it's like cool, like I'm not super hard right now,
Speaker 1: but like you can fucking suck my cock, and then
Speaker 1: that's it's a magic trick, like you can do this,
Speaker 1: and then I'll be hard instantaneously. Like do girls are
Speaker 1: girls clueless? Like that? Do you find that you have
Speaker 1: to some girls are clueless? Some girls don't suck the dick. Well,
Speaker 1: I think more guys don't eat the puss than more
Speaker 1: girls eat that ship unless something's like kind of you
Speaker 1: down there, Wait, have you ever encountered a pussy? You're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, yeah, what about it smells bumps everything? No, Usually,
Speaker 1: you know, usually like physical looks is always pretty fine.
Speaker 1: Like there's never really any time where it's like that
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me like that because there's so many I
Speaker 1: appreciate visuals of vaginas, like a meaty any any an,
Speaker 1: he's good. Um, it's more about I think, like what
Speaker 1: the chick was doing prior, Like if a girl is
Speaker 1: like just like came from the gym, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go down. Yes, I don't think that.
Speaker 1: I don't think the girl would want you to have
Speaker 1: you encountered that. Like, I just like I think like
Speaker 1: a sweaty dick is more attractive than like a sweaty No,
Speaker 1: it's not that's in your head. It's not you're going
Speaker 1: to get hit with the salt bomb anyway, a sweat
Speaker 1: that do you know how balls look, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: here all day, Like it's gonna be the smell as
Speaker 1: bad as they look. Sometimes when a guy, but the
Speaker 1: guy can go into the bathroom and just like clean.
Speaker 1: You know, a girl can do that too with a
Speaker 1: white But it's not. I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: you're just just think that men like but I think
Speaker 1: I gotta I feel like I'm more confused by the
Speaker 1: vagina than you need to be. It's confusing that it's
Speaker 1: not that confused, but hold on, hold on. But the
Speaker 1: vagina already comes with a distinct smell. Yes, but isn't
Speaker 1: that a good thing. That's a mine doesn't smell that's
Speaker 1: a mess. And it has a slight pungency. Yeah, it's coming, right,
Speaker 1: but that's that's an after effect. That calm is more
Speaker 1: a taste than a smell. Yes, well, the pungency, the
Speaker 1: taste sometimes it's pungent. But but you can avoid that
Speaker 1: just fucking shoot it on your face. I will say,
Speaker 1: I would think it's likelier that a vagina is going
Speaker 1: to smell bad than a dick is going to smell bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this whole thing about friendly, it's more like that
Speaker 1: is going to be kind of gross. Then this is
Speaker 1: like a myth that goes around, like Sara Silverman has
Speaker 1: discusses this and our special like, it's not it's not
Speaker 1: it's that's that's just like a normal it's like a
Speaker 1: normal smell. It's not. My vagina does not bad. No,
Speaker 1: my vagina. Yeah, she's like, your vagina smells quote unquote bad.
Speaker 1: You need to see a doctor like that. It just smells,
Speaker 1: but like everyone has well I will say everyone has
Speaker 1: different smells, and of course it might not be a
Speaker 1: bad smell, Like, okay, there's just oneferent people smell different ways.
Speaker 1: That I have a friend that we both ended up.
Speaker 1: Actually she heard about a couple of people that friend
Speaker 1: not at all actually explored it. Yeah, she gets that dick.
Speaker 1: Actually she's not a great woman, but she definitely sucked
Speaker 1: a lot of my friends. The point is she likes
Speaker 1: to fuck or nothing hot friends. Yeah, I do really
Speaker 1: looking friend. We got to talk to you about that
Speaker 1: one for anyway, going um oh be star yea not
Speaker 1: oh no, the one the other one that looks like
Speaker 1: young Marilyn Manson that I was like, yes, yeah, let's
Speaker 1: call him Jake. Jake sure uh anyway, thumbs up on
Speaker 1: Jake anyway. So it's weird, that weird inside thing for
Speaker 1: only us. Um anyway, where were we so pungency of
Speaker 1: vaginas your friends up with your friends. So she just
Speaker 1: kind of that was a person I didn't want to
Speaker 1: go down on and just because of like a smell thing.
Speaker 1: And then like I found out this other person, you know,
Speaker 1: after a long time of talking about random stuff like
Speaker 1: happened to mention that. I was like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I had the same feeling. So like I don't know
Speaker 1: what it was about this person, but like there's something
Speaker 1: going on that I don't think it was anything. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's like mendically bad. It just was kind of Some
Speaker 1: girls are more wet, some girls have more smell. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's all different, you know, and it just depends on
Speaker 1: what you're into. Maybe some guys probably really like that.
Speaker 1: Well in different ethnicity is also have different smells and
Speaker 1: being a smell different. And I think that woman has
Speaker 1: ever your your body oils, everything that's going on, you
Speaker 1: use it all. It all comes together to make your
Speaker 1: unique scent. And sometimes I really like the scent of
Speaker 1: the person I'm dating, and sometimes I'm like so much,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'm like I wish you smelled better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all around, Like all around, Yeah, I actually just smelled bad.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I mean it didn't make me
Speaker 1: I like him less, but I mean it certainly wasn't
Speaker 1: helping anything. I have a smell thing like my dad,
Speaker 1: Like my dad is a really good nose for smell,
Speaker 1: and like I think I have the same thing. And
Speaker 1: if a girl, even if she smells good. If it's
Speaker 1: not a smell that I'm attracted to, it like kills me.
Speaker 1: I can't do it. Interesting well, sometimes when guys were
Speaker 1: as I'm like no because it reminds me of a
Speaker 1: guy used to day who wore ax body spray, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like no, that's the scene. There's an Abercrombie
Speaker 1: and a Fitch cologne that my first boyfriend wore, And
Speaker 1: anytime I smell that, like, I get very emotional. Anytime
Speaker 1: anytime a girl wears love By Victoria's Secret, like bitch, No,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I mean. It's like seriously, like I'll
Speaker 1: date or hook up with chicks and like some of them,
Speaker 1: their smell literally just has me like going crazy. Did
Speaker 1: you go down on me? I forget? I probably did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think like you did. Probably did I smell you?
Speaker 1: You usually opt for you knew. He knew that, was
Speaker 1: very happy to do it, happy to do it. That's
Speaker 1: so funny. He's like, no, you didn't smell. I would
Speaker 1: know if the girl. If the girl I know before
Speaker 1: I even do it, if if it's something I want
Speaker 1: to do, Like it's just it's just a sense of
Speaker 1: cleanliness and of smelling kind of overall feeling and it's
Speaker 1: just kind of that kind of thing I can't sense
Speaker 1: is very heightened for you. And it's well I've heard
Speaker 1: a lot of times that sense is the scent is
Speaker 1: the strongest sense tied to memory of the sixth sense. Well,
Speaker 1: and also men supposedly have a better sense of smell
Speaker 1: than women. Yeah, well, like to ask you this, now,
Speaker 1: if you knew a girl that you were hooking up with,
Speaker 1: was was you know, kind of notoriously promiscuous? Would that
Speaker 1: make you not want to eat her out? Maybe not
Speaker 1: want to do anything? Really and just saying yeah, I
Speaker 1: am I know something who have dabbled in the adults world.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and if I wanted to at times could
Speaker 1: have partaken not in the world, but with that person,
Speaker 1: and I just won't do it. Well, that's a next
Speaker 1: stream case though, No it's not, I mean, like because
Speaker 1: they're out of the business. Well no, no, but that's
Speaker 1: but that's someone who's like professionally fucking and and was
Speaker 1: I mean, but I mean, well what about the girl
Speaker 1: who But I'm just I'm just saying, like that person
Speaker 1: probably had sex with the same amount of people you
Speaker 1: guys have had sex with MS because you guys have
Speaker 1: been I don't know, but like I'm just saying, all right,
Speaker 1: but there's but there's no like I mean, you can't
Speaker 1: really say that she's had more partners than any of us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't understand your lodge. But it doesn't turn you off,
Speaker 1: can't does it? Does it turn you off one of
Speaker 1: the partners. No, it's just someone in in that world,
Speaker 1: like you know, let's call a spade a spade, like
Speaker 1: has probably more. You have a higher percentage of getting
Speaker 1: something from someone who you know is more promiscuous than not.
Speaker 1: So you're only concerned as STDs. It's not like an
Speaker 1: emotional thing. You can think, I get tested, you can
Speaker 1: use it. Yeah, but you're just Yeah, it's like a
Speaker 1: one night stand that efective. Like when we hooked up,
Speaker 1: we didn't you didn't. I wouldn't have known. I mean
Speaker 1: we used we used to ca Yeah, but like, but
Speaker 1: you weren't someone who was like professionally right. I wasn't
Speaker 1: just like an every day hope. She could every day
Speaker 1: but on the block, on the block, she could have
Speaker 1: just made a hit song that's really good. She could
Speaker 1: have been but um, you know I was also I
Speaker 1: mean young doesn't have anything to do with it. I
Speaker 1: guess let's just I don't know. You just don't know.
Speaker 1: But I mean if you know, so you don't know,
Speaker 1: but if you have the knowledge, Yeah, it's like I
Speaker 1: would maybe take a little more precaution. Well I think anyone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should always take precaution when fucking no. I mean
Speaker 1: I always take precaution. I'm just saying, like you would
Speaker 1: actually not do it, you would opt out. I would
Speaker 1: possibly do it, Okay, unless I knew for a fact
Speaker 1: that they were cool, right, or they like clean, like
Speaker 1: they were like cool means clean, cool, Like send me cool.
Speaker 1: It's clean, kids, I'm officially cool. Can I see a
Speaker 1: doctor's note? I got the paperwork, just got an STD
Speaker 1: test STDs. Yeah, amazingly enough, brought to you purely by luck.
Speaker 1: That's pretty impressive. I don't have any STDs either. Yeah
Speaker 1: I don't either. I had an abnormal pap smeare once
Speaker 1: that they thought was HPV and they took a um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get the word wrong. So they just took
Speaker 1: us chunk of my uterus reservix. Just yeah, i'd heard um.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't that bad. It just felt crampy. But
Speaker 1: then they tested it and I was Then they were like,
Speaker 1: you don't have HPV, and I was like, hallellu jah,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's good. I know a lot of
Speaker 1: people most a lot of people have HPV. Is super
Speaker 1: common me. I mean it's not. It doesn't. Men are
Speaker 1: just passing it. They're not so we're reacted by it.
Speaker 1: I know my cancer from it, So managing cancer or okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah that's true. All right. Um, always gotta always gotta
Speaker 1: get the men on their men they're suffering. Ship is
Speaker 1: crazy out there is a crazy world, like a mild typochontry.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is really okay, this is real ship,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, do you do someone? Oh that explains
Speaker 1: a lot? So am I? You have a doctor for everything?
Speaker 1: Are you someone who gets my uncle and my cousin
Speaker 1: and my dad. Do you feel like you've had a
Speaker 1: lot of sex yourself? I mean because you're you know,
Speaker 1: so you're a little weirded out by promisterious girls, but
Speaker 1: you feel I'm not weirdout by promisterious girls. I just
Speaker 1: get cautious, happily fuck them if they were clean, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: in fact, sucking them because they probably. Yeah, I got
Speaker 1: a lot of experience. All right, Well do you have
Speaker 1: a lot of sex? I have? It comes and goes.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've had a decent amount of
Speaker 1: sex in my life. I could be having more sex.
Speaker 1: How old are you? Um, above the Okay, I think
Speaker 1: that's a fair answer, above thirty. Okay, got it. That's
Speaker 1: the decade that I'm in, the decade of that. Okay,
Speaker 1: it sounds good. So you fucked some people, so she
Speaker 1: asked the tough questions. No, I mean usually if it's
Speaker 1: a guy I fucked, I'm just a tough tough people.
Speaker 1: I'm very like, it's okay, don't worry about it now,
Speaker 1: it's fine. Really, um, well we fucked. How long ago
Speaker 1: do we fuck? This was four or five years ago?
Speaker 1: Had seven? Morobably six six? Everything everybody I'll answers on this.
Speaker 1: Everything is like, I honestly don't remember when you get
Speaker 1: to be thirty. Time doesn't exist. Years are not specific.
Speaker 1: Oh this to that, No, I don't know. I'm just
Speaker 1: I don't know either. I was out of college, though
Speaker 1: I remember I was out of college, so it was
Speaker 1: it was it was I was twenty two or whatever,
Speaker 1: and it was probably six or seven years ago. But
Speaker 1: I think I booty called you. It was your birthday.
Speaker 1: It was it was on your birthday. It was on
Speaker 1: my birthday, and we had sex on my birthday. You
Speaker 1: were in pajama pants because I got to get my
Speaker 1: A game only. Remember I always thought you were cute.
Speaker 1: How did I get your number at a party? Probably? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well we'd run in the same circles for a minute. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just remember you. I saw you make out with
Speaker 1: many people who did make promiscuous mouth over here? Promis
Speaker 1: you tip and put it in your mouth? Wait? Yeah,
Speaker 1: make out with many people at some of those parties.
Speaker 1: No way, And I was like, she's easy. Wait no, no,
Speaker 1: you know who I made out was. It was Jay
Speaker 1: Z's guitar player. Remember his name was Edward. There was
Speaker 1: many and I was like, that's my dad's name. There
Speaker 1: was many. That's always my favorite map for many. No,
Speaker 1: that was not a pickup line, that was do I
Speaker 1: want to do this? There was many. There was a
Speaker 1: few people look like, well this was was my Ley Cyrus. No,
Speaker 1: but someone thought I was her once and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: step right up, and I was like, um, that's her
Speaker 1: celebrity look like, well, I think when she had long hair?
Speaker 1: Who are we just whispering? No? I thought you did
Speaker 1: at that after party. No, I fucking wish. I'll be
Speaker 1: bragging about that ship till his day. I get that
Speaker 1: tattooed on my arm. What did can we say? Can
Speaker 1: we say it? It doesn't matter. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: say Katy Perry's what I mean it was? That's impressive.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't be in a basement right now. If Christina
Speaker 1: had made out with I would have put a ring
Speaker 1: on that bitch in a second. I'm like, I was
Speaker 1: to pay for it that sitting in the aisles of
Speaker 1: a gay wedding like that, I would have. So you
Speaker 1: really thought that you do? Am I less cool when
Speaker 1: you No? I'm just bummed that neither you nor I
Speaker 1: have made out with Katy Perry? Do you see me
Speaker 1: make out with girls? I mean made out with girls?
Speaker 1: That happened? Oh wow, maybe it did. Maybe you don't
Speaker 1: remember now because you know those parties that I don't
Speaker 1: get drunk because I want to be on my best behavior,
Speaker 1: Like I would drink but never get drunk because I
Speaker 1: was very crazy about that. But yeah, god, I wish
Speaker 1: I made out a kid. Maybe let's just we just
Speaker 1: pretend I did. Let's pretend you did, but you you
Speaker 1: were a mouth slut? Wow? How to feel about that?
Speaker 1: I mean, I I feel like that. I love making
Speaker 1: out with people, especially when I'm drinking. Making out is
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things in the world. And I
Speaker 1: actually feel that Mountain making Out Slot is a very
Speaker 1: appropriate title because I love life and I love people.
Speaker 1: I just want to make out with you. I'm like
Speaker 1: that girl who's like kind of wantah, I love it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but when we hooked up, I pooty called you on
Speaker 1: my birthday. Well it wasn't because I think we had
Speaker 1: been texting. Yeah, we definitely had been texting, and we
Speaker 1: probably were going to hang out once or twice before that.
Speaker 1: I didn't. Yeah, I think I was like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I want to suck her. Thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: And then we I guess it was building up to that.
Speaker 1: And then I think I texted you. You were at
Speaker 1: a party, not random or at a ball. I just
Speaker 1: seemed to live at party. Yeah, all we do. All
Speaker 1: we did a party. No, I think it was a
Speaker 1: bar or something, and you said you were there, Oh ship,
Speaker 1: you know what it was Pianos. You were at Pianos,
Speaker 1: weren't you. I didn't remember this until the second, but
Speaker 1: I remember you were there. I don't know if we
Speaker 1: knew you were going to be there. I don't think
Speaker 1: I did. I ran into you and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh hey, I remember. I remember I didn't look cute.
Speaker 1: I wasn't dressed how I would dress if I knew
Speaker 1: I was going to meet up with you. Like, I
Speaker 1: just wasn't dressed that cute. I was wearing like not
Speaker 1: a little Wayne T shirt like and wearing now, but
Speaker 1: something like that, like something not thank you. But I
Speaker 1: remember wanting to make out with you then, but I
Speaker 1: didn't because I think my friend got to waste that
Speaker 1: we had didn't. Yeah, okay, right remember vague? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Was that that night? No, because what happened was that
Speaker 1: night that you ended up coming over my apartment. I was.
Speaker 1: I thought I was in my apartment all night or
Speaker 1: I came back from a night out and then I
Speaker 1: was by myself. Yeah you were, and then you just
Speaker 1: came over. I came over and you were wearing was
Speaker 1: they sexy? They were not? They spun like birthday pants
Speaker 1: or something professial birthday Christina. Who am I say, Perry
Speaker 1: making out? They might need to end or I don't
Speaker 1: know you at all? Wait? Were they cute? Were they
Speaker 1: sexy or they grow? They were not sexy? They were
Speaker 1: like just like Jo, You're like rememb birthday I got
Speaker 1: your mom sent them to you or something. I feel
Speaker 1: like you would have dressed up had you known someone
Speaker 1: was coming? Right? No? No, there was no dress up.
Speaker 1: Did I at least have a tank top on? I mean,
Speaker 1: if you don't remember, I'm not gonna be a feel
Speaker 1: like now I'm maybe seeing that I want to say red.
Speaker 1: It was like I'm looking into the crystal ball of
Speaker 1: past I want it looks I see a cupcake on
Speaker 1: your coup No cupcake? Or I put a can know
Speaker 1: what if I put a candle my vagina and lit
Speaker 1: it and you just walked in. I was on the
Speaker 1: couch happy book to me, I would have been into that.
Speaker 1: I would have blew blew it out and then fucking
Speaker 1: and then gotten rid of it. A good time? How
Speaker 1: does that kay? Parents? So I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: wish I made the last Friday. Yeah that one. She
Speaker 1: has a birthday song. It's a birthday Girlies are great
Speaker 1: that's like, that's all I know about. That's that sounds
Speaker 1: like every Katy Perry though I love Katy Perry Katy
Speaker 1: Perry's ship. So wait, I didn't even try with like
Speaker 1: a sexy like silk shorts. No, And I'm very disappointed.
Speaker 1: It's like you kind of were just like laying down
Speaker 1: in your bed when me or what And I was
Speaker 1: like sex with Christina, yeah, whatever room. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: they weren't home. I was like, are we Like I
Speaker 1: don't get it, like you're not making any effort to fuck?
Speaker 1: And I was like, are we like read? Are we
Speaker 1: just like talking? Is that what you wanted to How
Speaker 1: pissed would you be if she texted you to come
Speaker 1: over and talk? So confused? Like, oh, I would be
Speaker 1: so mad if someone did that to me. Wait, I
Speaker 1: didn't even because I think like touch you like no, no,
Speaker 1: it was like no, there was no energy in like
Speaker 1: there was no sexual energy on your end. Getting it
Speaker 1: was kind of sorry, I am getting a better fund.
Speaker 1: We ended up doing it, but like I think back then,
Speaker 1: I think back then I was a little less like
Speaker 1: um of a go getter maybe in the sexual world,
Speaker 1: and so like I think now I would be able
Speaker 1: to handle that much better. But what would you have done?
Speaker 1: Was she being quite or just like I would? I'm clear?
Speaker 1: Oh hey, Andrew, no, sorry, it's some beads whatever, Get
Speaker 1: over it. You are creating for me is like Christie
Speaker 1: hasn't Rosanne were just just like I don't I don't
Speaker 1: really care. You're very like I don't care. Let's talk,
Speaker 1: let's get to know each other. I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: but I didn't. I remember, like, obviously, I didn't think
Speaker 1: we were ever going to date. I just thought you
Speaker 1: were so high. Well that's fine, I would, But then
Speaker 1: I'm like, why did I start having your conversation? That's
Speaker 1: so weird. I'm sorry, just a little nervous about it.
Speaker 1: I remember taking a shot at my apartment because I
Speaker 1: was nervous. But but then I wasn't drunk. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just thought you were really cute and you were
Speaker 1: coming over. I don't why wouldn't make you nervous? Um
Speaker 1: plays make me nervous. You always make me nervous. They
Speaker 1: don't now, but I was young girl seven years and
Speaker 1: make meanerous? And why do they make you nervous? Because
Speaker 1: you don't want to say anything that's that's stupid. It's
Speaker 1: mainly that it's just self confident. They're but they're happy
Speaker 1: to be there with you. You don't know that always.
Speaker 1: I mean this case you did. They're there and they
Speaker 1: want to suck you, so who cares. They're gonna like
Speaker 1: let whatever you say go. But you wanted to go
Speaker 1: a certain way, you know what I mean, even if
Speaker 1: it's like the stakes are higher. That's what the problem is,
Speaker 1: because you actually give a ship. It's very easy to
Speaker 1: be cool when you don't give your ship on the
Speaker 1: cool everything. Guys I don't like, Yeah, everyone who I
Speaker 1: don't like the coolest, and then people and then people
Speaker 1: I like, they probably just think I'm some weird girl
Speaker 1: who like doesn't talk. I have some sort of a
Speaker 1: just or I thought she did stand up? What do
Speaker 1: you get that happening? Are you like that to a
Speaker 1: woman that you're like, oh funk, she's around a beautiful woman.
Speaker 1: You've been around beautiful before. And that's something I've been
Speaker 1: working on this year. It's not it's not a no.
Speaker 1: I didn't take it as not a joke. It's true story.
Speaker 1: I've really focused on because I've had tens in my life.
Speaker 1: For sure. I thought. You said I had tents, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I have one to what is this
Speaker 1: about you? I've had tens like level ten, Yeah, super hot.
Speaker 1: Are you nervous around them? Well, if you dated them?
Speaker 1: I had success with them, you know. And but there
Speaker 1: was for the majority of the time like it would
Speaker 1: feel weird and like I would find myself a lot
Speaker 1: of times, um because just kind of what you're saying, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just more nervous, like more trying to like say the
Speaker 1: right things, just not being myself. Yeah, giving as much
Speaker 1: of a ship because your inner monologue is don't sunk
Speaker 1: this up, and that's the worst and people everyone can
Speaker 1: smell that ship, and like, I just have you ever
Speaker 1: been around somebody and you can't turn that don't sunk
Speaker 1: this up off? And you know you're sucking it up
Speaker 1: by being self conscious and you're like, of wh I
Speaker 1: am I acting like this story? Isn't that who I am?
Speaker 1: Of course, Dan Byrne has this lyric that always plays
Speaker 1: in my head. You know who Dan Byrne is? David Byrne.
Speaker 1: Damn it, No, that's not the same person. I was
Speaker 1: really hopeful. He's a folkusinger. He has a song and
Speaker 1: basically says like, um, you know, for people I don't like,
Speaker 1: I always have like the sweet gift of gab for
Speaker 1: these people who I don't like, and then people who
Speaker 1: I don't I'll have to find the lyric. But people
Speaker 1: he does, people who he does like, he can't. He
Speaker 1: doesn't say anything to them, and like he's like one
Speaker 1: of the coolest people. Also, I feel like if he
Speaker 1: experiences us that I think I think everyone does, and
Speaker 1: especially with guys. The problem is I've done a lot
Speaker 1: of research and I've read a lot about this, and
Speaker 1: I've worked on this, and it's like guys put really
Speaker 1: super attractive girls on a pedestal. I don't realize that
Speaker 1: they're just normal and that like they're on the same thing.
Speaker 1: And and even though I know that, it's still hard
Speaker 1: to do. So what I've been doing is I've just
Speaker 1: been working on trying to not do that and be
Speaker 1: myself and be less apologetic and just try to like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard. You do have to kind of practice, right,
Speaker 1: and if it happens up and if it doesn't, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: The problem is I think guys are like this doesn't
Speaker 1: come around a lot, so like I can't blow it.
Speaker 1: I think it's more of that by models like ten,
Speaker 1: you know, like every day of your life, hundreds of them,
Speaker 1: you would never have to think about this. That was
Speaker 1: your world even Yeah it's normal, yeah, because it's like
Speaker 1: you feel like you're getting a special in. This opportunity
Speaker 1: is so isolated it's never gonna happen again. So here's
Speaker 1: the lear Wait, it says, because I love you, I
Speaker 1: get tongue tied around you. I never say smart stuff
Speaker 1: around you. I never say anything around you that makes
Speaker 1: you want to be with me. So because I love you,
Speaker 1: I will never be with you. There's plenty other people
Speaker 1: who I always find the words for that I have
Speaker 1: the sweet gift of gap for that I'm magical and
Speaker 1: good for who because I do not love them, always
Speaker 1: want to be with me. This is the story of yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's so, how do you get better? How do
Speaker 1: you get better? It is a common story why the
Speaker 1: song is so relevant. It's literally, I mean it's literally
Speaker 1: just having to understand that and then working on just
Speaker 1: being yourself and holding relaxing and holding back and like
Speaker 1: being present too, ye, just being present and and just
Speaker 1: cutting a script memorize that doesn't have to do with
Speaker 1: you just just just knowing that like you deserve all this,
Speaker 1: like you deserve all these great things. And I think
Speaker 1: that's the key, that this is not the person for you,
Speaker 1: then like another one will come around and that's okay.
Speaker 1: Like not everyone that you meet is going to be
Speaker 1: right for you or good for you, and like emortually,
Speaker 1: just because someone is spectacular and you feel really drawn
Speaker 1: to them doesn't mean they feel drawn to you, and
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that that it's going to even mesh. Well,
Speaker 1: I met Kate was so hot and like I was
Speaker 1: a babbling and it was like, I'm sure she's used
Speaker 1: to that. Yeah, that's poor girl. I mean not poor girl,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but I had much any day of the week.
Speaker 1: I would much rather spend hours talking to you, Christie
Speaker 1: versus that's so nice smart. No, she's fine, But it's
Speaker 1: just like I'd rather don't feel I'd rather have a
Speaker 1: good experience with somebody, regardless if they're like one of
Speaker 1: the hottest people in the world, that doesn't matter. There's
Speaker 1: also to this ego thing that happens when you're with
Speaker 1: somebody like that and you're like, if I was with you,
Speaker 1: this would be our live and this would be and
Speaker 1: you would be here and good law ban. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta dream that ship for yourself, not someone else to
Speaker 1: bring that to you. You should write it, but you
Speaker 1: gotta go out there and get it. That's true. You
Speaker 1: gotta go and get it. Do you do girls do
Speaker 1: that to you? Um? Yeah, No, I don't know. You know.
Speaker 1: I think, Um, now that I'm older and I have
Speaker 1: a decent job, I think that um, I do display
Speaker 1: maybe more term qualities. Um. And I think that a
Speaker 1: couple of things are happening these days is that like
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going on these dates and they're
Speaker 1: becoming like almost like more boyfriend materially talking and getting
Speaker 1: to know someone, which I'm also looking for someone more
Speaker 1: significant in my life too, but like I'm losing some
Speaker 1: of that fun and that sexual energy. Like so I
Speaker 1: have to find a way to like build build the two.
Speaker 1: But I also find like people's reactions towards me and
Speaker 1: they're the way they are approaching me is boyfriend. So
Speaker 1: this is so interesting. Okay, so you're saying the way
Speaker 1: you're a girls are approaching you is getting to be
Speaker 1: boyfriendly the age whatever it is. So, but if someone
Speaker 1: app approaches you in too much of a fun way.
Speaker 1: How do you how do you how does someone maintain
Speaker 1: being fun without but still in the running for a
Speaker 1: girlfriend without freaking you out? Very person, we need to
Speaker 1: know this, Please tell I think the best way, and
Speaker 1: I think this goes both ways. I think the best
Speaker 1: thing to do is try to go on dates that
Speaker 1: are fun and that can be flirty, so that you're
Speaker 1: not stuck there sitting talking to each other about like
Speaker 1: life goals and like your favorite fucking place you've ever visited,
Speaker 1: and like real questions that tell you a lot about somebody, um,
Speaker 1: something that's trying to do. I'm trying to go on
Speaker 1: more fun dates that are flirty, so maybe more active
Speaker 1: dates even where you can touch and be competitive. It's
Speaker 1: and I love that, but something but then how it's
Speaker 1: like you start there and you build like almost like
Speaker 1: a camaraderie or or even maybe maybe a versus like
Speaker 1: a competitive thing, and like that gets everyone's like juice
Speaker 1: is flowing. And I think that you start there and
Speaker 1: you go small and like maybe the next time is
Speaker 1: a drink, but like you know, you try to make
Speaker 1: it a little more like in a sexy environment, and
Speaker 1: you know, you don't try to stay like all night.
Speaker 1: I just think a little less, a little less information,
Speaker 1: don't give us much information, but still be open and
Speaker 1: try to have a good time and try to keep
Speaker 1: it fun and flirty, because like when you just start
Speaker 1: sitting there, like going straight in, it's like, yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: you can really connect with some pressure once in a while,
Speaker 1: but like most people, that's just really intense and that's
Speaker 1: just too much too quickly. That's a very good point,
Speaker 1: and I completely agree with you that it's hard to do.
Speaker 1: But on line you gotta juggle. But then I feel
Speaker 1: like I maintain this. I don't know when to switch
Speaker 1: from the funness to the hey, could this be more seriousness?
Speaker 1: How do you approach that has the transition and when
Speaker 1: and when time wise should that happen. I think within
Speaker 1: the fun thing, like you are both gonna the walls
Speaker 1: are gonna slowly come down, and like as you guys
Speaker 1: hang out, you're going to slowly build a rapport and
Speaker 1: you're gonna slowly like continue to open up and continue
Speaker 1: get to know each other. And it's like ideally you're
Speaker 1: like making out, you know, like eventually you like maybe
Speaker 1: hook up, maybe have sex, and like you're gonna event
Speaker 1: you're gonna do those things and that if I think
Speaker 1: that will or anetually happen, you would think I think
Speaker 1: you try to have. My problem is I feel like
Speaker 1: I go out in these dates and I think, like
Speaker 1: I do great, and then it's like I feel like
Speaker 1: I feel like great treasure chests. Yeah, do you pick
Speaker 1: out a sticker and a prize? You a banana colt?
Speaker 1: But like I feel like though sometimes like I get
Speaker 1: more into this like connecting thing or talking thing, and
Speaker 1: I lose some of the flirtatious thing and like either
Speaker 1: the girls into me and like and then we can
Speaker 1: like and she's not going to play games and we
Speaker 1: can actually go out a few more times and like
Speaker 1: possibly have something like cool regardless of how far it goes.
Speaker 1: Or the girl is like has a lot of dudes
Speaker 1: hurting her up and she's just like, well that was fun.
Speaker 1: That was cool. But like I'm not fucking burning for that, dude.
Speaker 1: You know, Like I get that a lot because I'm
Speaker 1: not like bad boy, manly fucking dude. I'm like, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're you're sensitive, mature, lodge, creative, and the type
Speaker 1: of guy you are is very in right now. You're
Speaker 1: very trendy. They be selling you fore and Taylor, you
Speaker 1: know what, I bought you Bergdorfs. But but they still
Speaker 1: want the girls still want like that fucking like that
Speaker 1: energy from that dude. Like I think I do have
Speaker 1: like a sexual energy within me, like definitely, like I'm
Speaker 1: a scorpio, Like you know, I don't know what that means. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, obviously I'm super into that ship
Speaker 1: and I'm super like sex is a huge part of
Speaker 1: my life, but it doesn't always it depends on the situation,
Speaker 1: like it might not always come out for me, like
Speaker 1: if I'm not comfortable, or sometimes it comes out too much,
Speaker 1: or it's just really tough, and it's really to carry
Speaker 1: it very well because you do omit a sexual energy,
Speaker 1: but it's not overwhelming, it's not create It's that's why
Speaker 1: we're next door to the hardest though. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: that's why because with Steven, he's very boy next story,
Speaker 1: but he has a dirty side to him that I
Speaker 1: knew was there the second I met him, and it's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things about him. Best. That's me.
Speaker 1: I think that's definitely you seem selfie, you seem discussed.
Speaker 1: I want to I don't want to check. That's all
Speaker 1: gonna be pressy and like and talk to me. I
Speaker 1: just want like listen. There are times I want to
Speaker 1: get down and also times I want to be like
Speaker 1: emotional as well. I like both of those and that's
Speaker 1: the perfect mix. But I really want to get down
Speaker 1: to Do you have any kinks? Um, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: build more kinks, but I you know what, you have
Speaker 1: to try not like them. We send you new kinks
Speaker 1: every month you try them out. I really like you,
Speaker 1: I really I think I really get off on like
Speaker 1: a girl like kind of like sexy talking in like
Speaker 1: a fan fantasy type of way about like like lord
Speaker 1: of the Rings, like me being something else somebody else
Speaker 1: and like them kind of doing the like Fox sexy voye,
Speaker 1: like pretending you're a doctor or something. I was like,
Speaker 1: I think it really like sex, like wanted to try
Speaker 1: that stuff, but I'm so I take sex so seriously.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like an asshole. Someone was
Speaker 1: doing that with me recently. I dress well, we were
Speaker 1: talking about something and it got into the like she
Speaker 1: started like kind of joking and put on the sexy voice,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I'm like getting
Speaker 1: so hard. What was she talking about? I can't. I
Speaker 1: don't want to discuss. It was like it was it
Speaker 1: was just like a person who has a specific job
Speaker 1: and it wasn't about the job. It was a job
Speaker 1: and eats food sometimes it the job. It was like
Speaker 1: she was doing this like voice and saying like she
Speaker 1: was like meeting this person in their job, and like
Speaker 1: it got into this thing where like I was taking
Speaker 1: her away from that. So you both went off? Did
Speaker 1: you after that? Well? I was like getting so hard,
Speaker 1: you are like at Starbucks. I was in her house.
Speaker 1: We were doing all this ship and I was getting dude,
Speaker 1: I was that sounds awesome. I was so hard. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, kind of like doing all
Speaker 1: this ship and I was like, yeah, we're definitely like
Speaker 1: we need to fuck. Yeah, And then she fucking gave
Speaker 1: me this bullshit of like I gotta go to work
Speaker 1: and ship. I was like, you cannot after all, totally,
Speaker 1: but we fucked earlier. Okay, you want. But I was
Speaker 1: so I was like, I'm going to get ready to go,
Speaker 1: like my dick is about to explode, yea, and put
Speaker 1: it on me, good lines and put your hand to go.
Speaker 1: She know, she was like fucking god sex. This one
Speaker 1: can be a little tricky, tricky like a little KOI no,
Speaker 1: just a little bit um controlled controlled sorry control or
Speaker 1: controlled or control controlled? How what do you mean by that? Like, oh,
Speaker 1: like I have to get up for work and like
Speaker 1: so like I can't start sucking you up together? Got it?
Speaker 1: And it's like I was like, why please to find
Speaker 1: But if that's like I can't, I can't do that.
Speaker 1: It's like, dude, like seriously, like this could be five
Speaker 1: minutes if you want it. Doesn't have to know. I
Speaker 1: totally agree with you. I hate people are like I
Speaker 1: have to go away and just like it, you're sitting here.
Speaker 1: My cock is so fucking hard. You're turned on. I'm
Speaker 1: turned on. Whyt we just gonna be like we can't funk,
Speaker 1: like you gotta go. It happens. If that happens every
Speaker 1: once in a while, it's fine, but like you have
Speaker 1: to it has to be a given take, like sometimes
Speaker 1: you have to stay up later to I agree, and dude,
Speaker 1: you could, dude, if you'd every night, I'd be like, okay,
Speaker 1: stop and not to mention. In those types of situations,
Speaker 1: usually someone is so turned on that like they're going
Speaker 1: to get off quick, Like I literally could have put
Speaker 1: that ship in pumped like twenty times and like cool,
Speaker 1: thank you, I'll go now. It literally could have been
Speaker 1: like here's two minutes of your life. You can go
Speaker 1: to bed now. Yeah, yeah, you could have, and I
Speaker 1: would have been I would have been so happy. I
Speaker 1: would have been thinking about that for so long in
Speaker 1: my brain forever and like very satisfying. Drop the ball.
Speaker 1: And it's horrible to go to sleep horny and it's hordable,
Speaker 1: but no, I harrid go home and fucking like jerk off.
Speaker 1: It's also horrible ready to have to sleep next to
Speaker 1: someone who is horny, Like, have you ever tried to
Speaker 1: sleep next to you a boyfriend or somebody were getting
Speaker 1: when they wanted to look so bad and you didn't
Speaker 1: want to suck? Oh yeah, most times I'm just happened
Speaker 1: suck you because this is so goddamn because you were
Speaker 1: moving around what is happening? It takes less time to
Speaker 1: just get be could have all saved everyone time, just
Speaker 1: such a I'll just suck a dick and shut me up,
Speaker 1: all right. I'm always like I'm like half asleep. I'm
Speaker 1: like I'm just like just put your dick in my hands,
Speaker 1: dick in my hands. In those situations, you can crawl
Speaker 1: on top of me, but I'm not stay here. In
Speaker 1: those situations, you either like have them slip it in
Speaker 1: like spoon style and just pumping you don't even fucking
Speaker 1: you know romance, or or you fucking start jerking them
Speaker 1: off and as they start getting excited, fucking suck it off.
Speaker 1: It's done. When Andrew's eyes if she yawned, would that
Speaker 1: turn you off? Was giving it? Just get me off?
Speaker 1: Like that's what I want the Listen. There are times
Speaker 1: when it sucking both of us and we're sucking in it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so horny, I need to fucking come
Speaker 1: a nut. Yeah. Sometimes it's more physical, Sometimes it's more emotional.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been in this situation where she's so
Speaker 1: horny and you're like, nah, yeah? Really? So what happens
Speaker 1: when I feel girls feel really bad when this happens
Speaker 1: and they need not to because it's common. Then that's
Speaker 1: something that I need to get better at. I need
Speaker 1: to go, well, we're gonna suck so sorry. It's easier
Speaker 1: to get a guy to fund then is to get
Speaker 1: a girl to yes. And there's one simple trick. Touches dick,
Speaker 1: suck the dick. Suck the dick. If a girl sucks
Speaker 1: my dick, doesn't matter how tired I am or how
Speaker 1: fucking like, she'll go like, my dick is up, I
Speaker 1: want to fuck you? Wait? What if? What if you
Speaker 1: say no? Like this is confusing because now we're gonna
Speaker 1: get in some molestation, Like what you need mos? No?
Speaker 1: But if you're usually when that happens, so it's usually
Speaker 1: you've been fucking for a certain amount of time, or
Speaker 1: your boyfriend a girlfriend you're dating them, or something some
Speaker 1: sense of familiarity. What are you saying? No means yes
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship. I'm so confused about happens
Speaker 1: in relationship. I know, I know that's why I was
Speaker 1: being funny, but also yours I'm like because I'm I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you want your dick four sucked? Four sucked,
Speaker 1: fort sucked? Yes, really damn it? But no, rape is okay?
Speaker 1: If it's no, I am not really Like if I'm
Speaker 1: sleeping in the morning, like I don't want to be bothered,
Speaker 1: that's kind of like time to like, don't sunk with me.
Speaker 1: But like I'm the same way. I'm so angry in
Speaker 1: the morning. I don't want to be awake like one
Speaker 1: one sop like awake, I'm cool. Like if I'm kind
Speaker 1: of like still trying to sleep and I'm I'm so tired,
Speaker 1: I'm so I'm kind of out of it when I'm sleeping,
Speaker 1: like I just don't touch me, don't do ship. But
Speaker 1: if you really fucking need to get your fucking virgine
Speaker 1: on my cock, then fucking ladies, can I get a while,
Speaker 1: you know, like do the ship like kiss the thing,
Speaker 1: like the fucking chest to the go down slowly, it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's gonna suck my yeah, and it's like what's going
Speaker 1: to happen. You're like looking my fucking sleepy limp dick
Speaker 1: and then like its fucking hard and then it's like
Speaker 1: just it's a magic trick row on that virgian hole.
Speaker 1: I feel like so complex but also so simple and
Speaker 1: so so well sometimes so with Stephen a lot of
Speaker 1: times what I would do because I'm in the morning.
Speaker 1: I'm not a morning person at all, but he loves
Speaker 1: having sex in the morning. The beginning in the beginning relationship,
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the relationship, that anymore. Someone. We
Speaker 1: were at this thing where Forty Brackett, he's in his
Speaker 1: mid thirties or early thirties, early maybe realties. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys in the exact same age. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, So we were still in that phase where
Speaker 1: like we wanted to funk. Like if I was sleeping over,
Speaker 1: he was sleeping over. There was no chance we weren't
Speaker 1: having sex. I was. We were in that like crazy
Speaker 1: lust space. But so what would end up happening is
Speaker 1: he likes having sex in the morning, Can you dumb know? No?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, can you going to break He's right upstairs,
Speaker 1: your friend last for a hall pass for you? Can?
Speaker 1: I got to redo you respect a random respectful and
Speaker 1: then you gonna see him. He's gonna come out in
Speaker 1: a plaid shirt and glasses and you're gonna you're thinking
Speaker 1: of Trevor, my lone most brother anyway now. But what
Speaker 1: I would say to him, is what I would say
Speaker 1: to him is like, just start we're so weird. Just
Speaker 1: start touching me and then just suck me because I
Speaker 1: will I will eventually wake up, but it'll take a second,
Speaker 1: so'll take your time. And it's one of the hottest
Speaker 1: things in the whole world. And I don't like being
Speaker 1: up in the morning for anything, but what it eases in.
Speaker 1: I like that you have the open I need some
Speaker 1: of it open, and that's something important to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you date close? Mind? Like? You know? I don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like I've been getting a
Speaker 1: little bit of a string of that. How like, what
Speaker 1: are they about? It's just don't touch my butt hole.
Speaker 1: I know everyone's been all right about that area has
Speaker 1: been feeling pretty well this quarter, the kind of really
Speaker 1: having its moment right now. I feel like, well, I
Speaker 1: feel like more chicks are more open to that now.
Speaker 1: Maybe not because they want boyfriends. Not opening your butts.
Speaker 1: We're trying to die alone here, Andrew, not because I
Speaker 1: don't want to die alone. You know, you got the
Speaker 1: dick that hasn't changed. The stands on the dick and
Speaker 1: the ass hasn't really changed. How about tongue to ask?
Speaker 1: Are you a tongue to ask? Personal with your hypochondria? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: I mean my jewishness. I blame my heritage, not myself.
Speaker 1: That's how it's called in denial. But oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's such a good episode. If your Hotocaust deniers are
Speaker 1: also heritage deniers, deniers, lonliness deniers. Okay we now uh wait,
Speaker 1: we say, oh, but hold him out, But my tongue
Speaker 1: to ask, yes, yes, um you feel about that? I
Speaker 1: feel okay. I don't do it as much as I
Speaker 1: like because some girls are not as comfortable with that. Um,
Speaker 1: I would be happy to do it. I like doing
Speaker 1: it in a sixty nine environment. You like sixty and
Speaker 1: casting before I know, but that's like yours right there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my mind's gonna explode. And really I also just like
Speaker 1: pussy in my face? Does that mean we have to
Speaker 1: do that now? Like we have to do that a
Speaker 1: cell or we're gonna be eighty but like a ship,
Speaker 1: I gonna do that now, do I gotta do this?
Speaker 1: I tell you, I will tell you this. I love
Speaker 1: a tongue of my ass. Yes, a lot of guys,
Speaker 1: when did you discover you liked it? And where you
Speaker 1: weared it out? When you discover the first time I
Speaker 1: had I was with a guy friend his girlfriend and
Speaker 1: they're girl like her girlfriend. Once we went out and
Speaker 1: we were talking about this whole thing, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never had a finger in my ass like blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Never had any ass play. I was definitely
Speaker 1: like a little homophobic about it. Okay, a lot of
Speaker 1: guys are, which is nothing gay about it, like early twenties.
Speaker 1: At first, I was like the nineteen twenties, you look great?
Speaker 1: What say? Scream? Do you is? Because I gotta thing?
Speaker 1: What face cream? Okay? So yeah you're talking about So
Speaker 1: she blew me that night and stuffed finger my ass. Okay,
Speaker 1: loved it, like like you, definitely was good about it.
Speaker 1: But I will tell you, for like the next three weeks,
Speaker 1: I was like, am I gay? Really? I literally was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I liked I was freaking out. And
Speaker 1: then was just like you got unclear and whether or
Speaker 1: not you were gay that one blow job and asked play,
Speaker 1: but you just you don't you know. I was like
Speaker 1: young in my sexual escapades and I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I like ask play, Like what does that mean? I've
Speaker 1: literally had crushes on women, but never have question being
Speaker 1: a well, there's a whole thing with guys about some
Speaker 1: weird I'm not good. It's a weird thing. It's a
Speaker 1: weird thing. I think it's a common thing. But like
Speaker 1: if you like ass play, that just means you're a person.
Speaker 1: Now I'm rock this ship. Do you ever asked a
Speaker 1: girl to lick your ass? I don't think I'm as Sarah.
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't do it, and I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something that I would only do or bring
Speaker 1: up like if I was dating somebody a little more seriously,
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, yeo, do you feel like you
Speaker 1: present an ask that is livable? I'm like heavy wiper, Okay,
Speaker 1: you need more than whiting though. You need some sort
Speaker 1: of moist cli well is your bottle hair brag? And
Speaker 1: some people's buttoles are hairy? No, dude, I have like
Speaker 1: you don't look like a Harry Show your light. He's
Speaker 1: taken off and unfunding his Lumberjack slim fit shirt. There's
Speaker 1: another shirt under it. Still another shirt? Still another shirt?
Speaker 1: Is it a button up shirt? I'm getting weirded out? Now?
Speaker 1: What what are you? Twelve year old? Okay, so he's
Speaker 1: baring his but you have the hairless chest. So you
Speaker 1: have facial hair like not shave. That's real. That was
Speaker 1: very youthful. That's very youthful. Is your butthole youthful? I
Speaker 1: want to see your deck now, not my but the
Speaker 1: hair there. I mean, if you want to show it
Speaker 1: some I feel like shown the first Yeah, good, I'm
Speaker 1: doing it. Guys, we fucked exclusive people who like we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe you'll do it maybe and they're like, okay, that's
Speaker 1: a good amount. Any shaved was there? No, it's we
Speaker 1: are you? Are you a blonder? I'm groomed, but you're
Speaker 1: a natural blonde though, right your facial hairs, but it
Speaker 1: looks more ginger e down there, strawberry blonde. Okay, because
Speaker 1: like that's interesting. So that because any exclusively fuck brunette.
Speaker 1: So I've never seen pubic hair that light. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it does match the card arm hair. And it's really blonde.
Speaker 1: It's not a lot, it's not checking it like look
Speaker 1: at it. It's long. Yeah, it's good. It's those pubes.
Speaker 1: Have have they been what was the last time they've
Speaker 1: been shaving? I think I don't shave. Okay, I just okay, okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I used the Narco body groomer okay this episode, so
Speaker 1: they're not paying us so that when they do be
Speaker 1: Likeroka boody groom Okay, get one to Andrew. Um me
Speaker 1: um that's me. That's me just pointing at itself. That's me. Um,
Speaker 1: I probably did that a week a week could go out, Okay,
Speaker 1: very light body, hair, so presentable, asshole. No no, but
Speaker 1: I mean it was like not thicker, but it was
Speaker 1: like longer and more and like, yeah, we believe he
Speaker 1: was a lot more. We believe it wasn't like a
Speaker 1: forest that you had to like it. Never. I don't
Speaker 1: let it get to that because I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: like fucking be naked and like look like you know
Speaker 1: whatever would be Harry, Yeah, what's the Harry and the Henderson's.
Speaker 1: I try to keep it. I try to keep the
Speaker 1: whole area really nice. Okay, good, that's important. It's very love.
Speaker 1: I want to keep it pretty. I want to keep
Speaker 1: it smoothly. Andrew thinks, like when you go down there,
Speaker 1: I want to be like, oh, very nice, good, like
Speaker 1: I enjoy this. Um, what's the worst sex you've ever had? Like?
Speaker 1: How why was it worse? Um? Honestly, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll go there, I'll go there. I mean, was it
Speaker 1: with Katy Perry? I have a few. Well, bad sex
Speaker 1: for me is always kind of the same type of sex.
Speaker 1: It's when someone is like not very vocal and kind
Speaker 1: of like doesn't do much and kind of lace there
Speaker 1: and they're not really involved because if you're really hot,
Speaker 1: like I can deal with that for like one time
Speaker 1: or two and this is great. I'm gonna come in
Speaker 1: your tips or as we all do. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's like my favorite. That's my movie, really coming on
Speaker 1: the teets, chants, hucking, pull that ship out, explosions of
Speaker 1: the sky and on your tips. Well, I kind of
Speaker 1: feel like if I don't see it happen, it kind
Speaker 1: of like it never happened, Like okay, there's I like
Speaker 1: seeing it happening to It's just a real final like
Speaker 1: and my closure in that sexual experience. I get it interesting.
Speaker 1: I get that I didn't know a guy would be
Speaker 1: wanting to see that too, and I really and I
Speaker 1: like it. And I like there's something really primal and
Speaker 1: sexual about like just sucking unloading like hot steam. You
Speaker 1: come on a check like this is hot to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, and a winter time treat yeah oh yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: So we have a couple of minutes left. We want
Speaker 1: to wrap up. We have any questions what like profound,
Speaker 1: do you have any questions for us? No? Um, what
Speaker 1: kind of porn do you watch? You watch porn. Yes,
Speaker 1: I love porn. What I actually, um, I try to
Speaker 1: watch porn and practice masturbating literally practice for I tried
Speaker 1: two to three times a week. And when I mean practice,
Speaker 1: I try to not come quick I get lube, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I twenty minutes. Oh, so you your goal is
Speaker 1: to not come? No, do guys have to do that
Speaker 1: period where and I've heard this where you get to
Speaker 1: a certain point you're like you're just gonna come, You're
Speaker 1: not gonna not know. You can always stop that always,
Speaker 1: even like two seconds before you're to come. Really, there's
Speaker 1: a book called The Guy. I'm not exactly sure about
Speaker 1: the first couple of words, but it's like basically like
Speaker 1: if you search multi orgas mcman um, I could find
Speaker 1: it in my my phone like emails um how to
Speaker 1: be multi orgasmic or something, or the multi Gasmic man um.
Speaker 1: And if you read that, it tells you all that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of tricks on how to like not
Speaker 1: come and like you know, you could do like PC
Speaker 1: muscle like tightening things to stop it even like as
Speaker 1: close as like it's like there's just techniques. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of techniques and like takes practice and you have
Speaker 1: to learn like what techniques work for you. Like for me,
Speaker 1: like if I'm sucking, I'm like getting well. First of all,
Speaker 1: being sober really helps you not come because you are
Speaker 1: sensitive enough where you can really feel what's going on
Speaker 1: in your body. So like if you feel like you're
Speaker 1: getting hot, you can like calm yourself down. You know.
Speaker 1: They talk about the cock being like in stage is
Speaker 1: of like like gear, you know, gears and like like
Speaker 1: third gears kind of like your heart and like ready
Speaker 1: for penetration. Fourth gear is like you're gonna like you're
Speaker 1: gonna blow, And it's like always it's like how you're
Speaker 1: always trying to like come down and stay into third
Speaker 1: gear once like once the engine gets too hot, I
Speaker 1: always want And so like there's techniques you can breathe.
Speaker 1: There's like these like deep breathing things and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: or just even just visualizing that can help um. And
Speaker 1: then also just like if you're really like can't stop
Speaker 1: it or it's getting close, like you just squeeze, I'm
Speaker 1: doing it right now. Squeeze your balls, squeeze like the
Speaker 1: PC muscles. Where is that That's like the same thing
Speaker 1: that like pinches, like when you pee, like to stop peeing,
Speaker 1: So you squeeze your dip. You kind of like you
Speaker 1: could like see a move right now or you seez
Speaker 1: that are in the dick. It's the same muscles that
Speaker 1: like you hold to like pe okay, oh you have
Speaker 1: to like read diagram or something, so like when you're
Speaker 1: kind of like getting close, like when you're about to come,
Speaker 1: you can like squeeze those muscles and it like it
Speaker 1: closes off. Basically it closes the thing and like the
Speaker 1: comb can't get through into the dick. Okay, yeah, but
Speaker 1: what if it costarted all the way? Well, then then
Speaker 1: you have to you have to like get the second
Speaker 1: or two before you have your practice comes in. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I practicedthday and I try to do that
Speaker 1: and like then that's what I did. Interesting, good, good,
Speaker 1: pretty good. Well, thank you so much, Andrew. It's been
Speaker 1: a true treat. It has been a delight. I hope
Speaker 1: I see what other parties mut men or whatever. We'll
Speaker 1: search it. Oka um, thank you. Yeah, it's been really
Speaker 1: so I could be on this podcast. Yeah, well, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for doing it. And you were hesitant.
Speaker 1: There was a hesitancy when I first saw you while
Speaker 1: they were not talking about this for other things. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: we're right, Okay, got it. Okay, Well I'm it was
Speaker 1: fun talk about this type of stuff. Yeah, you have fun.
Speaker 1: I had a great time, so fun. We're like really
Speaker 1: funny and guys have a great Thanksgiving. Oh no, that's
Speaker 1: his next week's to Thanksgiving. No Thanksgivings on Thursday, not
Speaker 1: this Thursday. Isn't no next Thursday. So we're this is
Speaker 1: the last episode before Thanksgiving. Oh you're right. I was like,
Speaker 1: am I going crazy? No? No, you're not thanks happy
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving on us? Yeah, it's probably a fo on us.
Speaker 1: So yeah, don't talk before the turkey. Um, okay this
Speaker 1: or after the turkey. But just like be dead weights
Speaker 1: and spoon, just glide the cock in it out before
Speaker 1: live your life Andrew, come on, all right, this has
Speaker 1: been another episode of Guys We Fucked by over U.