Speaker 1: You were now checked in to Stand Up New York Labs.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, welcome to Guys. We fucked guys, We guys book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Corin're sorry about last night. Coming to
Speaker 1: you from Stand Up New York Labs. Guys, the anti
Speaker 1: slut shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey, guys, it's Krinn.
Speaker 1: This is the anti slut shaming podcast, coming to you
Speaker 1: from Stand Up New York Labs. How you doing? How
Speaker 1: you doing? I'm tired. Oh I'm exhausted because I've been
Speaker 1: killing mice in my apartment and can't sleep because every
Speaker 1: time I hear a noise, I'm jolted awake. Uh. We
Speaker 1: moved to a crackton. Moved to a crackton, and in
Speaker 1: the past two days have had you slaughter six baby.
Speaker 1: Nice baby, I'm not proud. Yeah. I had an infestation
Speaker 1: of baby mice one time and the super put the
Speaker 1: sticky trap and you had to see the little babies
Speaker 1: stuck and stays put glue traps in my door, and
Speaker 1: I said, well, I guess that's how we're doing well.
Speaker 1: I couldn't put out that how to see it. I
Speaker 1: couldn't put out the snap traps because Pinkerton would have
Speaker 1: snapped his a little paw off. And as much as
Speaker 1: I love baby mice, I love Pinkerton more so I
Speaker 1: had to choose. You know what, if you wanted to
Speaker 1: my roommate my boyfriend to hate me for saying this,
Speaker 1: but if you wanted to trap one of them, give
Speaker 1: them to me. I want a pet mouse so bad.
Speaker 1: If I trapped, if I had time to order online
Speaker 1: the safe ones before my room was overtaken with mice,
Speaker 1: I would have and I would have seriously kept one
Speaker 1: because they were adorable. Um. My roommate actually thanked me
Speaker 1: for being a better person because as they were squeaking
Speaker 1: for their lives, I was like, you know, she was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, what I'm supposed to She's like, you know,
Speaker 1: just let they set them there and let them die.
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't, I can't do that, and
Speaker 1: then someone told me to. Everywhere. The thing is, everyone's
Speaker 1: a fucking mouth specialist any time, anytime this happens, and
Speaker 1: I was like no. I was like, I thought of
Speaker 1: my own way, and you just and I just and
Speaker 1: people like banging them with hammers and shot like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: with a hammer. I got it done. I got it done, Hitler,
Speaker 1: and quit. Quit as quickly and as painlessly as I could.
Speaker 1: Good because I couldn't. I couldn't heard them squeaking from
Speaker 1: like two rooms away, tearing their bodies. And I felt
Speaker 1: bad because you know, I am the same girl who
Speaker 1: with actually Shane's from a previous podcast, his current girlfriend Miriam.
Speaker 1: She and I after school one day spent an hour
Speaker 1: in a field trying to remove a mouse from a
Speaker 1: glue trap. That's me. Did you have success or did
Speaker 1: you rip it? No? We didn't. Well, no, we didn't
Speaker 1: do that. I think we. I think we eventually just
Speaker 1: you know, put it out of his misery. But you can't.
Speaker 1: There's no way to get a mouse of the only
Speaker 1: The only thing is if only his tail or her
Speaker 1: tail um get stuck, then I think, because I think
Speaker 1: you can rip a mouse's tail off and they're fine
Speaker 1: to live um, but you can't if they get the
Speaker 1: body sector, because it's they're too delicate. I can't kill
Speaker 1: a book. I feel bad killing bugs. No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to kill anything. Yeah, I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: that you had to do. What is that? Neilism? Is
Speaker 1: that what that's called? I don't know, there's something the
Speaker 1: ability to not kill anything, and one every there's some
Speaker 1: there's some like a like a Buddhist type religion that
Speaker 1: you don't kill anything. It's also that gene Like I
Speaker 1: was looking at a BuzzFeed article of baby animals cuddling
Speaker 1: with stuffed animals and just that gene and you that goes,
Speaker 1: oh my God, like that that will never go away
Speaker 1: and it lives so strongly in my body. It's not
Speaker 1: because they're cute. It's just because it's not my job
Speaker 1: to be I mean, the mice were on the planet
Speaker 1: before me. They didn't add those particular mice. They didn't
Speaker 1: ask for this life. Yeah, not being said, though, I
Speaker 1: mean they really do recap those little things recaboc Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do. So last week's episode was really fun. It
Speaker 1: was alive. Yeah, it was good. Can we talk about
Speaker 1: the setup to that episode that we didn't get a
Speaker 1: chance to talk about beforehand. Guys, if you listen to it,
Speaker 1: some of you love that, some of you hate it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a It was a real divider. It was
Speaker 1: the apartheide of episode. I like listening to live podcasts.
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes they can get obnoxious, but it's whatever it's
Speaker 1: like a live CD. Like you don't want to listen
Speaker 1: to it all the time, but at once in a while,
Speaker 1: it's a treat like a band when they do a lot,
Speaker 1: because it's it sound is it's weird, but it's plus
Speaker 1: we're in front of an audience, so we're more on
Speaker 1: or we're just we're performing. Yeah, I mean. Also, you
Speaker 1: were eating mozzarella sticks and drinking heavily so much. Well,
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why I really wanted to drink
Speaker 1: heavily was because we arrived at this bar. The turns
Speaker 1: out the owner of the bar's best friend had recently
Speaker 1: passed away. I guess she was a frequenter of this bar.
Speaker 1: The bar was turned into a memorial for her, and
Speaker 1: not like one sign guys, Like, we walked in and
Speaker 1: there was cards, candles several feet high, sign with her
Speaker 1: face on it, her her death day, yes, her here,
Speaker 1: her year of birth, her year of death, candles, a
Speaker 1: photo montage of her life, including like baby photos and
Speaker 1: in a beautiful black and she was young, she was
Speaker 1: in her forties. And that that giant sign that Grin's
Speaker 1: talking about was placed on an easel right next to
Speaker 1: the table that we had to record. So I was like,
Speaker 1: this has got to I can't talk about Dix. And
Speaker 1: as much as I don't care about really what anyone thinks,
Speaker 1: even I cannot talk about someone who just did my
Speaker 1: face right next to a dead lady, No, I can't,
Speaker 1: you know, it just doesn't feel right. And then on
Speaker 1: top of that, the woman who passed aways parents walk
Speaker 1: into the bar and I hear some go it's the
Speaker 1: first her mom was. She died literally crying. Her mom
Speaker 1: looked at all of the photos that were around, she
Speaker 1: had never seen them before, spread out in that bar,
Speaker 1: and started to a loud cry. Yeah, like a sob
Speaker 1: because she wasn't like like a cry that her child die,
Speaker 1: which is the worst loss I think anyone could experience.
Speaker 1: Probably go into one of your bits. Yeah you know that,
Speaker 1: or your spouse, I think, because that's like you feel
Speaker 1: like that's like your connection. Um, but you plan on
Speaker 1: dying before your kids? Yeah, no one wants to be
Speaker 1: so anyway. Sometimes do you want to buy your spouse?
Speaker 1: But I mean definitely so okay. So the parents walking
Speaker 1: and we're like, oh, hell no, weird And they sit
Speaker 1: down in the seats and order food and drink and
Speaker 1: We're like this, we can't. I can't. I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't do that. I can't talk about dicks in front
Speaker 1: of a couple whose daughter just died in the room
Speaker 1: was flooded with pictures of her, and Craig Mahoney was
Speaker 1: acting like I was like making diva requests by asking
Speaker 1: them to me, and I was like, I don't. I
Speaker 1: didn't want it either, and I was like, I'm just
Speaker 1: the mouthier one. That's why you're hearing from me. I
Speaker 1: was like, Christina feels the same, because I honestly didn't
Speaker 1: know what to say, because no, it's just not appropriates,
Speaker 1: just fucking rude to talk about that stuff with, especially
Speaker 1: when her parents are there. So then the owner, who
Speaker 1: is best friends with the girl, walked over to the
Speaker 1: couple because he was like, it's okay, they don't mind cursing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, buddy, we're not only cursing. We're talking about
Speaker 1: like bleeding out of the butthole, Like I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about this ship in front of in these circumstances. It's horrible.
Speaker 1: And I was just gonna say, funk, I mean, that
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a problem totally. So I was the content. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: as I said, and uttle X rated so yeah. So
Speaker 1: uh anyway, they ended up staying, They ended up laughing,
Speaker 1: and I the owner said, they ended up loving it,
Speaker 1: and they said she would have thought this was hilarious.
Speaker 1: So that was a nice ending to what would have
Speaker 1: been the worst awkward, uncomfortable situation I've ever experienced in
Speaker 1: comedy indeed. Um, so let's read some some feedback from
Speaker 1: some wonderful First of all, my friend texted me earlier today.
Speaker 1: My friend Devon, who's my favorite person in the whole world. Um,
Speaker 1: she texted me today. She goes, wait, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: she goes, I was out with a bunch of people
Speaker 1: last night. Spit versus Swallow came up. One thing led
Speaker 1: to another. Someone totally random at the dinner table listens
Speaker 1: to your podcast. That's all. I'm like, that's amazing. No,
Speaker 1: that's when I did a show yesterday and two people
Speaker 1: came up to me and said, oh, I listened to
Speaker 1: your podcast, and I was like, I don't know you,
Speaker 1: but thanks. That's looking awesome also, and then I thought
Speaker 1: of spit versus Swallow? What do you think? I I
Speaker 1: you know, I I do too, but I'm not excited
Speaker 1: to do it. It's like the price of emission you
Speaker 1: pay to give a blowjob. It doesn't I like giving
Speaker 1: a blowjob because I like the guy. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: the ultimate. It really doesn't bother me at all, because
Speaker 1: as long as I mean like it, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: because the people I have, I have a very limited
Speaker 1: number of people who I would give blowjobs. You have
Speaker 1: very selective about my blowjob giving. Uh, and I don't, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. Spitting is like more kind of it's more work.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's just easier clean up if you're
Speaker 1: gonna do it. I mean a lot of times. I
Speaker 1: also like when someone just comes on a face from
Speaker 1: a butt wiper or whatever and then your skinless. Actually,
Speaker 1: my one of my favorite things in this that actually
Speaker 1: happened to me raism is when the guy wipes it
Speaker 1: off me. I find it to be like kind of
Speaker 1: like charming. I think it's very nice when the guy
Speaker 1: takes a towel and wipes to come off. You think,
Speaker 1: I think it's super nice, So it's I mean, it's sweet.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, Or when the guy walks in back in
Speaker 1: the room with a towel and they give it to
Speaker 1: you first before cleaning themselves off. That's also like I
Speaker 1: prefer gentlemen. I think it's kind of sexy. When I
Speaker 1: was in high school, I used to like the first
Speaker 1: blow job I ever gave, I think I swallowed and
Speaker 1: I was like, and then after that I would spit
Speaker 1: it out. But then I realized that took way much,
Speaker 1: so much longer than the scene, and you're running your yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you gotta go. No one's gotta see run
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, Like I don't need to. I don't
Speaker 1: need to gurgle with sea man. Yeah, Well the thing
Speaker 1: is like yeah, And also if you just swallow it,
Speaker 1: if it's not unless it's like the person hasn'tjacked off
Speaker 1: in like ages and it's like a ship tone, you
Speaker 1: could just swallow it in one gulp and not even
Speaker 1: take exactly like when you yeah exactly. There's ways, guys,
Speaker 1: you can get around around it. Um alright, guy, so
Speaker 1: we have some user feedback. Let's do the short stuff
Speaker 1: and then we gets the long stuff. So Leon Gunning
Speaker 1: wanted to know when er Alphie and Duff coming back on.
Speaker 1: Thanks Leon for that great that that's like when you
Speaker 1: walk into a room and everyone's like, oh, how's your
Speaker 1: boyfriend doing? Podcast is about us? Oh no, I like that.
Speaker 1: I we they will be back. They were and we
Speaker 1: love them. God knows they have tons of stories. They
Speaker 1: could they could really go on for ages. Um, and
Speaker 1: they'll be back. I don't know when, because you know what,
Speaker 1: that's not like a mystery and meaning business to be
Speaker 1: on your toes. Uh, ain't thanks for listening. I was
Speaker 1: going to read your screenham and I read it as
Speaker 1: anal rack, but I don't think that's how you pronounce it. Um.
Speaker 1: Just just caught up with you with all your Guys episodes,
Speaker 1: and I'm already sad that there's no more to watch,
Speaker 1: even though you know you listen to them. I don't
Speaker 1: know what. Maybe you're watching while you're listening. I don't
Speaker 1: know who knows. Guys, we fund will now be my
Speaker 1: making Fridays even better. Please shut out my friend Tina
Speaker 1: and I high Tina. That's my nickname to kind of uh.
Speaker 1: We are both avoided suckers and listen to and follow
Speaker 1: you guys on every social network. Thank you for inspiring
Speaker 1: our lives and making us crack up at the same time.
Speaker 1: You're so fucking welcome. That's nice an Iraq and one
Speaker 1: of our fave fucker's Joy Corwin wrote in she said
Speaker 1: that she finally upgraded her phone so she can listen
Speaker 1: without pauses. That's exciting. She wanted to bring up that
Speaker 1: in Africa, since women get raped constantly, that ain't good.
Speaker 1: That wasn't supposed to be funny, but just the way
Speaker 1: she wrote it was funny. They have a device that
Speaker 1: women put in their vaginas and it has teeth inside,
Speaker 1: so if a man tries to rape her, his dick
Speaker 1: gets all cut up, she needs to try and run
Speaker 1: away a s a p Look at the Google image
Speaker 1: love You, which is always a sucker for life to
Speaker 1: google it. I did not google. I didn't google it,
Speaker 1: but you know what they're When I was working in
Speaker 1: the management, an actor named Josh Pice was in a
Speaker 1: movie called Teeth and it was about someone's my favorite. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I had teeth in it, which is kind of the
Speaker 1: same concept and also amazing. But it's just like so
Speaker 1: sad that we have to say we have to put
Speaker 1: teeth is to not get raped once And I've said
Speaker 1: it before. Controlling your penises, gentlemen, um, this is an
Speaker 1: email that we got from a gentleman nam Matt. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: I love the show and I thought you guys might
Speaker 1: be able to help me out with this little dilemma. Listening.
Speaker 1: I'm listening. I leave for college next year, but my
Speaker 1: girlfriend that I have dated for over a year will
Speaker 1: still be in high school. We have talked about how
Speaker 1: we will most likely split when I go to college,
Speaker 1: but the thing is I will only be two hours
Speaker 1: away and will be in and out of town frequently.
Speaker 1: She's too good to let go of completely. So should
Speaker 1: I try and hold onto her as my girlfriend or
Speaker 1: should I try and ask her if we can still
Speaker 1: see each other parentheses bang when I come home for breaks. Thanks.
Speaker 1: I personally had a boyfriend my senior of high school
Speaker 1: and college, and I ended up my first year of
Speaker 1: college and I ended up wanting to go on a
Speaker 1: break with him because college is the most exciting, especially
Speaker 1: the first year part of your life so far. You
Speaker 1: will experience freedom that you never knew as possible and
Speaker 1: you've always dreamed of. And I highly recommend you break
Speaker 1: up with her and take a break and try out
Speaker 1: new stuff, because I think if you string each other
Speaker 1: along like I did with my boyfriend. You just end
Speaker 1: up hurting each other and maybe hooking up with someone else,
Speaker 1: is feeling bad about it having to tell her or
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe you don't tell her, but the guilt,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not good. Yeah, I college is a
Speaker 1: time for doing you. I agree with Christina. It's just
Speaker 1: it's just really like because obviously you already have the
Speaker 1: idea in your head that you're going that you want
Speaker 1: to experiment other you know, do other things, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's just honestly, it's disrespectful to her to just
Speaker 1: be like, oh, like bing when you come home, like
Speaker 1: you probably will do that anyway, but just let her
Speaker 1: do her thing, you do your thing, and maybe you'll
Speaker 1: end up back together. Maybe you are meant to be together.
Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't you obviously don't know, but
Speaker 1: you need to definitely experiment. You shouldn't be saying with if.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't just be marrying or saying with the person
Speaker 1: that you were with in high school, even if you
Speaker 1: eventually end up with them again. Ultimately you come back,
Speaker 1: go out and experiment, because then you're always gonna have
Speaker 1: that what if, and that's going to cause you to
Speaker 1: cheat in the future, do something that you're gonna be
Speaker 1: regretful of. Also, I think being single in college is
Speaker 1: really warrant to learning a lot about yourself because you're
Speaker 1: not tied to the other person, You're not worried about
Speaker 1: what they're doing. You're not worry you don't have to
Speaker 1: call the like leave the party to call them real
Speaker 1: quick or text them. There's no jealousy issues. This is
Speaker 1: a time to be really independent and figure yourself out.
Speaker 1: And I just from experience, see, I wasn't in a
Speaker 1: relationship for in my actual entire college like I did.
Speaker 1: Like I met the guy October of my freshman year.
Speaker 1: He wasn't in my college, but he was a freshman
Speaker 1: college the whole We dated the whole time, plus a
Speaker 1: year after. I don't regret that at all. I also
Speaker 1: went to had a very different college experience because I
Speaker 1: went to art school. Wasn't like huge frat parties. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I and I don't regret it at all. But
Speaker 1: I mean, my twenties were wild, and I'm sure my
Speaker 1: twenties were more like most people's college experiences and continue
Speaker 1: to be. And also depends on what kind of person
Speaker 1: you are, because I'm the kind of person who I get.
Speaker 1: I get clingy and I at that especially I'm so
Speaker 1: young then I was dependent on other people, so it
Speaker 1: kind of taught me to do my own thing and
Speaker 1: think for myself and not have to worry and have
Speaker 1: someone to lean on. I learned to lean on myself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds really cheesy, but it's true. States crazy. Those
Speaker 1: frat parties were insane, like slipping slides in the kitchen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just stands imagine it to be like the movies.
Speaker 1: I have no, I have no idea. It's one of
Speaker 1: the sudden kind of not my scene. So I think
Speaker 1: I think. I don't know. I think I'm okay because
Speaker 1: being in the entertainment business, like but my previously when
Speaker 1: I was behind the scenes. But there was enough wild
Speaker 1: parties there to last year my time. And they were
Speaker 1: open bar with like real drinks, not jungle juice. Oh
Speaker 1: I had like the shitty voda. Yeah. I had like
Speaker 1: college experience. When I moved to New York City and
Speaker 1: went to college there. After my my first year, I
Speaker 1: was like, this is so different. I'm so glad I
Speaker 1: got that in. But the experience is pretty good. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I mean New York City was my campus because I
Speaker 1: went to school here, so it's great. Um so this
Speaker 1: other person right, Tay, Guys, So I'm a seventeen year
Speaker 1: old guy and basically the only thing that separates me
Speaker 1: from the other awkward teenage guys that listened to the
Speaker 1: podcast is that I actually have sex. A few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend and I were getting pretty serious and YadA, YadA, YadA,
Speaker 1: we flow. Now it's been happening pretty regularly as it does.
Speaker 1: Uh And I was wondering if you guys can maybe
Speaker 1: give me some tips, rules, suggestions, etcetera regarding clueless high
Speaker 1: school is safely fucking I mean, listen, I don't think
Speaker 1: high school sex is going to be good or at
Speaker 1: all even close to the best sex that you're ever
Speaker 1: going to have. God, for the love of God, I
Speaker 1: hope it's not. Uh So, I think just in general,
Speaker 1: I mean, the sex you're having is a seventeen year
Speaker 1: old is going to be pretty shitty, even if you're
Speaker 1: gonna think it's pretty good because it's the first time
Speaker 1: you had sex. It's like if you if the first
Speaker 1: pizza you had was an Elio's Frozen pizza, I would
Speaker 1: be like this is awesome because I never had a
Speaker 1: slice of pizza from you know, a New York City
Speaker 1: pizza shop. So it's you know, your Brooklyn and you're like,
Speaker 1: there it is, yeah, And then you get it, and
Speaker 1: then you go to and then you fled to Chicago.
Speaker 1: After that you get a deep dish. You're like, this
Speaker 1: is amazing. But that's the wonderful thing about sex. You
Speaker 1: don't want it to peak so early, so you're gonna
Speaker 1: experience some stuff, I mean safely. Please, for the love
Speaker 1: of God, I know I don't use you use a
Speaker 1: condom because you're not I'm sure you're seventeen year old
Speaker 1: girlfriend probably isn't on birth control yet. Although I highly
Speaker 1: suggest that even if you have to lie to your
Speaker 1: mom to get to do it, it's more important to
Speaker 1: be safe than to be honest with your mom, especially
Speaker 1: when your vagina is involved. Just tell her that you're
Speaker 1: having a painful period you and that's like a wink wink.
Speaker 1: Any smart mom is going to understand that that means
Speaker 1: that you want to have sex, and any I think
Speaker 1: most moms would rather have you be having sex sex
Speaker 1: because you're gonna have sex regardless, So just go to
Speaker 1: the gun and your girlfriend should go to the guy
Speaker 1: in colleges because as soon as you start having sex,
Speaker 1: you need to have that area checked out. Uh. And
Speaker 1: again it should be that's a private thing. So you know,
Speaker 1: just tell her to tell her mom that she's having
Speaker 1: painful periods if she doesn't have a super open relationship
Speaker 1: with your with her mom. And that's totally fine. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's weird or that you should have to
Speaker 1: discuss sex with your mom. That some girls do, some
Speaker 1: girls don't. I'm not a big fan of it. So
Speaker 1: that's just me that I mean, I I talked about
Speaker 1: a lot with my mom. I just don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: now I do because looking to the podcast. Umph, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I really did have painful periods. But and you know,
Speaker 1: the birth control help with that, but just in general.
Speaker 1: Uh and and also use a condom on top of it,
Speaker 1: because is start off with a condom, start off fucking
Speaker 1: with a condom when you're young, I mean, you're not
Speaker 1: going to get to that point where like a penis
Speaker 1: has never been inside me. When I was not on
Speaker 1: the birth I refused to have sex before I was
Speaker 1: on the birth control pill. I there was I was like,
Speaker 1: there was no chance, I'm allowing myself to get pregnant
Speaker 1: because my a lot of my good friends only use
Speaker 1: the condom. And there has been definitely, definitely some pregnant
Speaker 1: sky scares. And when you're young, that's going to be
Speaker 1: a huge thing because either you have to have an abortion,
Speaker 1: which is even if you're if you're pro choice, it's
Speaker 1: going to be a scarring experience to you. Uh. And
Speaker 1: if you're not, uh, you're gonna you just ruin the
Speaker 1: rest of your life. I'm sorry. I know Gilmore girls
Speaker 1: look to look very fun, but it's gonna you're gonna
Speaker 1: not hopefully don't have any many plans after that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're it's gonna be. It's gonna really cut into your
Speaker 1: life unfortunately, and not so much the guys. And that's
Speaker 1: just the facts of life, and that sucks. Also when
Speaker 1: you're young, I realized, like, communicate with each other if
Speaker 1: she's doing something you don't like, or young girls if
Speaker 1: you're starting to have sex and the guy. When I
Speaker 1: first got fingered by a guy, I was like, this
Speaker 1: is the fucking worst. But I didn't say anything. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, is this what it's supposed to be?
Speaker 1: Because it doesn't know but if it doesn't feel good,
Speaker 1: if it hurts. Obviously, when the first time you have sex,
Speaker 1: that might hurt because that's the first time you have sex,
Speaker 1: and that it's understandable. But if you're if you're getting think,
Speaker 1: I don't know, if you're doing anything and there's pain involved,
Speaker 1: tell the other person, teach them to not do that
Speaker 1: to you, and hopefully they'll become better in the in
Speaker 1: bed as they go on. But you feedback is so important,
Speaker 1: but be nice about it. Yeah, and like what feels
Speaker 1: good for one person may not feel good for another person.
Speaker 1: There's not like it's like like a blanket, like this
Speaker 1: feels good for vagina. Man, that's complicated organ Yeah, and uh, Also,
Speaker 1: I'm guessing you're both seventh I'm guessing you're both in
Speaker 1: your seventeen or close to that. So it's kind of
Speaker 1: fun because you're both starting out together. Like when I
Speaker 1: started having sex, I was having sex with a man
Speaker 1: like I was like I was a girl. He was
Speaker 1: a man, he was almost he was eight years older
Speaker 1: than me. Yet you know, he knew what was doing
Speaker 1: and that was funny that he taught me stuff. But
Speaker 1: you guys are kind of learning together, which I think
Speaker 1: is kind of a fun, delightful experience. I always kind
Speaker 1: of wished that I had. My first time was with
Speaker 1: somebody who was my age who was also a virgin
Speaker 1: because of mine was a guy who who was in
Speaker 1: college at the time, and then he was ended up
Speaker 1: cheating on me the whole time, which like broke my
Speaker 1: heart into therapy. But there was no communication there, which
Speaker 1: was awful, and I wish that because he was experienced,
Speaker 1: so I was afraid to tell him, like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're doing this or maybe this is should
Speaker 1: do it this way. They're old does not mean they
Speaker 1: know what they're doing. I was in my early twenties
Speaker 1: having sex with someone in his early thirties and he
Speaker 1: and I was no expert, but he did not know
Speaker 1: what the fuck he was doing, and he was hot.
Speaker 1: He was like jack hammers, jack guys, I can't believe
Speaker 1: we have not talked about this. The jackhammer. Don't do
Speaker 1: it if you don't know what we mean by that.
Speaker 1: Sex is kind of like a song. A song or
Speaker 1: a dancer should rhythm the nation of yeah, I know
Speaker 1: you can't. I can't tell you how many times I've
Speaker 1: had sex conversations with girlfriends like he's a jackhammer. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh no, that worse. Just it's just like in and
Speaker 1: in and in and out. Its first of all, you
Speaker 1: look crazy, not that anyone that's also just jackhammer in general,
Speaker 1: is and sex don't go together, because that's the same
Speaker 1: way that inexperienced people finger people. It's not you're not.
Speaker 1: There's the same not jackhammer for the construction, not ringing
Speaker 1: a door you know it's yeah, so and then yeah,
Speaker 1: and just as you're not ringing a doorbell. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: as one of my favorite people of all time, it
Speaker 1: would always use to tell me because I'm a shitty dancer,
Speaker 1: he would be like, rhythm is a dancer. Just remember
Speaker 1: that rhythm is a dancer. It's a soul's companion. It
Speaker 1: could take you everywhere. I think that there's lyrics, but
Speaker 1: you know, that's the nineties I had. I was trying
Speaker 1: to think if I had to stop, if I had
Speaker 1: a jackhammer on my on my case. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, if I was banging a jackhammer or I might,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because it's weird giving people constructive feedback
Speaker 1: on the way they fuck, because you want to be
Speaker 1: sensitive about that. But I probably put on like slow
Speaker 1: music or something and just kind of when you're the girl,
Speaker 1: just but you can say it as the woman. Just
Speaker 1: be like with anything, be like, suck me a little
Speaker 1: bit stuffed. So many people just came, okay, I feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: People are going to listen. But that's how you do it.
Speaker 1: It's so there's a way. Don't don't be like I
Speaker 1: A fucking me too hard. Can you stop for one second? Please? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean that. There's just the same way as in
Speaker 1: in life. There's a way to give constructive criticism and
Speaker 1: more pleasing weather. There's a way to do it there.
Speaker 1: Do it in bed. Yeah, you gotta you gotta be careful.
Speaker 1: And I also want to say, guys, if you didn't know,
Speaker 1: potatoes are the sneakiest vegetable. What does that fucking mean?
Speaker 1: People just put them up your vagina? What the reader feedback?
Speaker 1: It's just secret. I'm speaking secret code to a fucker
Speaker 1: who asked me to do it. Oh oh, I'll read
Speaker 1: it later. I'm very curious. So I wanna read a
Speaker 1: quote from Hillary Rodham Clinton, all right, who I really
Speaker 1: like and you really like. I have a life size
Speaker 1: standy of her. So that's sucking rad So I did
Speaker 1: a lot of female a lot of God, I just said,
Speaker 1: female comedians, go fucking shoot me the face Whitney commings.
Speaker 1: It was on her instagram, was not a bunch of
Speaker 1: people's instagrams. But this is the quote and I read it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, fuck yah bit Uh. You may
Speaker 1: not agree with the woman, but to criticize her appearance
Speaker 1: as opposed to her ideas or actions isn't doing anyone
Speaker 1: any favors. Least of all you Insulting a woman's looks
Speaker 1: when they have nothing to do with the issue at
Speaker 1: hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part and
Speaker 1: inability to engage with high level thinking. You may think
Speaker 1: she's ugly, but everyone else thinks you're an idiot. That's true.
Speaker 1: I have a I have such a problem with that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And you know, there was some so much backlash, like
Speaker 1: when when Hillary was running for president about her cankles,
Speaker 1: about the scarf she was wearing. Shut the funk a
Speaker 1: fucking kidding me. So let's let's Sarah Palin maybe as
Speaker 1: actically looks a little bit more pleasing. Do you want
Speaker 1: to do we want to put her in office? Do
Speaker 1: we all want to explode. I mean, just are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? And this this goes to something I want
Speaker 1: to talk about anyway. So I was gonna talk about
Speaker 1: it when our guests is on, but we'll talk about
Speaker 1: it now just briefly. Um So a comic that I
Speaker 1: follow on Instagram and this happens a lot, but this
Speaker 1: is just the this specific one really bothered me. People
Speaker 1: have this thing where they like to take pictures of
Speaker 1: girls body parts, fucking strangers who don't even know that
Speaker 1: they're getting photographs, and then just ranch on them. So
Speaker 1: this particular photo was it happens all the time, was
Speaker 1: a photo of a girl girls ass, clothes in pants,
Speaker 1: but she just had a very like and over the
Speaker 1: top flat ass. Okay, and it did look a little
Speaker 1: bit silly if we're all seven, but like that's her ass,
Speaker 1: and you know what, And then there was so they
Speaker 1: did they put the picture of it? She doesn't know
Speaker 1: that's there, and then everyone just rants on and goes, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that girl already feels super self conscious about
Speaker 1: her ask to begin with, she can't help that. What
Speaker 1: is she supposed to do? Get an ass planned? I mean,
Speaker 1: where we're a huge dress all the time, like that's
Speaker 1: the ash she was giving given. She needs to deal
Speaker 1: with it the best she can. I'm you're not helping.
Speaker 1: I guarantee she feels horrible about it already. And also,
Speaker 1: who the funk are you? You don't look so good
Speaker 1: many times? Guys that criticized many times at a time.
Speaker 1: You don't look so good Okay, just like women don't
Speaker 1: do that to guys, know exactly, I don't to I
Speaker 1: would never because well I personally would never do that
Speaker 1: to a guy, because that fucking that's bullying. That feels mean.
Speaker 1: Everyone just feels so powerful on the internet. It's like
Speaker 1: being in a car. When someone cuts you off in
Speaker 1: a car, you're gonna curse him off and use every
Speaker 1: word in the book. But if someone accidentally bumps and
Speaker 1: you want an elevator, you're not gonna say ship because
Speaker 1: that's rude and you don't have that safety net of
Speaker 1: a keyboard or a car. It's just really it's just
Speaker 1: really hurt and inappropriate. I mean, that's the that's the
Speaker 1: kind of thing that if that girl really had low
Speaker 1: self esteem and somehow we're to come across the picture,
Speaker 1: I know, people are like, oh, that's not possible. It
Speaker 1: happened to my friend. He saw a picture on Instagram
Speaker 1: that someone had taken of him that you know, it
Speaker 1: somehow got back to him. Uh. That's the kind of
Speaker 1: thing that's gonna make someone like kill themselves. Like that's
Speaker 1: just I mean, like, just just don't kill out. You're
Speaker 1: not making you're making the word. It's not worth the
Speaker 1: cheap joke that you're making. Uh. I have a friend
Speaker 1: on Instagram actually met a commie show because I ragged
Speaker 1: on him, and he post pictures of girls asses but
Speaker 1: they're like big Brazilian like butts and he just like
Speaker 1: drools over them on Instagram every day. Yeah. I kind
Speaker 1: of think that's still inappropriate. I think, I mean, they're
Speaker 1: booty models, they're not like strangers if they're If you're
Speaker 1: a booty model, they want you to look at that.
Speaker 1: That's fine. Um and uh uh No, I was just
Speaker 1: gonna say, I don't like to talk about our personal lives.
Speaker 1: So I had a great My week has been fantastic. Um.
Speaker 1: Had I had sex like real sex? No? Of course
Speaker 1: I didn't tell you because I don't want to tell
Speaker 1: you on the podcast. It's like really like, like can
Speaker 1: I ask who Um, I mean you kind of it's
Speaker 1: it's someone who's making a reappearance in my life. The
Speaker 1: person I really wanted to make a reappearance in my life.
Speaker 1: And I think it was a lesson for me because
Speaker 1: we're both super stubborn and we like this person. Yeah, person,
Speaker 1: I really like this person. You're as like you're falling,
Speaker 1: like like giving ex boyfriend a run for his money,
Speaker 1: like this person. That is a lot because I liked
Speaker 1: my because in your words, everyone's terrible. Yeah. And I
Speaker 1: liked my ex boyfriend so much. And I know I
Speaker 1: talked ship, but that's just because I'm hurt on the inside. Um,
Speaker 1: I really like him like so much, and I I
Speaker 1: was so upset that the podcast was what was coming
Speaker 1: between us, and we kind of talked it out. Um,
Speaker 1: and that was great. Uh And I don't know, I
Speaker 1: was just I was it was just when was it Tuesday?
Speaker 1: So okay, so a while ago? It was there communication after?
Speaker 1: What do you mean it was two days ago? Was
Speaker 1: it's Thursday? It's Friday? Well no, I mean they recording whatever? Uh?
Speaker 1: So did you like was I always asked about the
Speaker 1: communication after like the next day, like was there nothing?
Speaker 1: Because that's your No, I mean, well we even your friends.
Speaker 1: We just talked. Yeah, yeah, no, it's I talked to
Speaker 1: him on the way here, in fact, on the phone
Speaker 1: you called me. But I just he's just like and
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it too much because
Speaker 1: I like start a whole thing again. And I didn't
Speaker 1: No one knows he is. It's I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: they know he is, but they don't know that this
Speaker 1: is the person. Um, that's fucking awesome. I like him.
Speaker 1: He's it's just great. And I and it was a
Speaker 1: lesson in growing growing up because we were just out,
Speaker 1: were just out stubborn each other for like two months,
Speaker 1: and finally I was just like, I was a current.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? You're like, you're sitting here. You
Speaker 1: miss this person, You're like going out with other people.
Speaker 1: We don't even give a shit about these people, and
Speaker 1: this is the person you like to just be like,
Speaker 1: I like you, let's talk. I don't. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to apologize for what I saw them because I don't
Speaker 1: feel like what we talked about. Um, I feel sorry
Speaker 1: that it went down the way I did, but I
Speaker 1: don't I don't think that what I said was out
Speaker 1: of line by any means um and I was actually
Speaker 1: reiterated that I had been super careful about protecting his
Speaker 1: identity out of respect for the fact that I I asked him,
Speaker 1: if you want to do the podcast, he said, no,
Speaker 1: I respect that I'm not gonna harass people to be
Speaker 1: on the spot. This was our choice to talk about
Speaker 1: our sex lives, and that doesn't mean that everyone that
Speaker 1: we've had sex within the past has to come on. Absolutely. Also,
Speaker 1: I love how like there's always that moment and before
Speaker 1: uh dating becomes a relationship, before that talk. I feel
Speaker 1: like both people hold out as long as they can,
Speaker 1: so I want them to say it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: totally every fucking relationship I've ever had. Both people want
Speaker 1: who is loose? What are you so afraid of? I
Speaker 1: don't know, I've done it. I do every time. It's like,
Speaker 1: we all have to win, and let me talk his
Speaker 1: out about we all have to win. You're right, But
Speaker 1: the thing is if you actually break down that stubborn wall,
Speaker 1: you both win. Yeah, And the best part about it
Speaker 1: was it was a real lesson in uh in having.
Speaker 1: It was the first time I had crazy sex with
Speaker 1: my nose ring, and I was like, oh my god
Speaker 1: if I can, like, let me tell you get hurt
Speaker 1: because I like knocked it out. I'm like giving blow
Speaker 1: jobs and knocking out of it, like like flipping around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but it it can. It lifts up and
Speaker 1: it's like it has a mind of its own. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll be like, yeah, this is great,
Speaker 1: fuck you. It would be funny. I like you're banging.
Speaker 1: Were you at your house? Yes, And there's like a
Speaker 1: slew of rats just came running in your door, like
Speaker 1: just as you were about to funk, and you're like,
Speaker 1: this is the worst moment of my life. This is
Speaker 1: so funny that you saw that. Because we were in
Speaker 1: the middle of fucking. My roommate comes in from walking
Speaker 1: the dog, screams, yells his name to come out. He
Speaker 1: comes out naked. Uh no, no, he was going to
Speaker 1: and I was like he was like, he just puts
Speaker 1: his underwear and he'sn't seen up and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: you have a raging erection. Your underwear's not enough. Please
Speaker 1: put on your pants, put on a shield. So then
Speaker 1: he goes he goes out. He like go doesn't goes out,
Speaker 1: put gets the mouse into a trash can, puts a
Speaker 1: pizza box over puts in the hallway because we don't
Speaker 1: want to murder it at that time, comes back in,
Speaker 1: gets on the bend, he goes, he goes, come back here,
Speaker 1: and I was like, did didn't miss a bit? Oh,
Speaker 1: didn't miss the beat, didn't lose the direction. You are
Speaker 1: the best. That's sexy person. Ever. I was like, it's
Speaker 1: just chill. It wasn't a big thing. It was great.
Speaker 1: It didn't gross about it. He was like, go, time's
Speaker 1: gonna get the mouse, alright, not back on my dick.
Speaker 1: Just the best. He's just like the best. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Like I often think, but he's the best. Wow, I've
Speaker 1: never heard you say that about it. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: not better. You're you're on the top of your mountain. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's in your mind. Yeah, he's almost there. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: just cool. He's just cool. So few people are cool
Speaker 1: and he's just cool. That's awesome. I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 1: Did you bang a bunch of times? Well no, I
Speaker 1: mean it was the only one because it's going to
Speaker 1: go Yeah. Oh man, that's awesome. All right, let's bring
Speaker 1: let's talk about this guest. Yeah for a second, before
Speaker 1: we bring him on one of the quotes that I
Speaker 1: thought was really interesting and like, you're giving me like
Speaker 1: a brief of what happened was um, Joe was his name.
Speaker 1: Joe was a classic case of me loving that he
Speaker 1: thinks I'm sexy. Yeah, you know what, I had to admit. No,
Speaker 1: but I love that too, even if I mean, you
Speaker 1: are also you're attracted to do him. You think he's hot. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I think he's cute. You can't It's not like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't breathe. He's very youthful. That's why he's like,
Speaker 1: which I have a problem with reminds me of my
Speaker 1: brother a little bit. Not like my brother in the
Speaker 1: in the specific way, but he's just young in the
Speaker 1: way my brother is young and that and that weird.
Speaker 1: I don't like younger guys. I mean a lot of
Speaker 1: people do, but not. He's very intelligent and funny. That's
Speaker 1: why I let him have a have a pass at this. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: he's awesome. It is always nice to have guys think
Speaker 1: you're sexy and to verbally say that. I mean, maybe
Speaker 1: he doesn't let's hear what he's say. Maybe I guess
Speaker 1: he does. Well, it's something going on for a while
Speaker 1: but he did when I feel like guys, like my
Speaker 1: boyfriend one time said to me, he was like, I
Speaker 1: wish girls would be as forward as men can be
Speaker 1: sometimes in that like, hey, I think you're really beautiful.
Speaker 1: Whish a girl would come out to be like I
Speaker 1: think you're really sexy because that feels good. I'll devow
Speaker 1: it feels great. So I think that women should do that.
Speaker 1: I think women should be more forward obviously. I mean
Speaker 1: as far as you feel comfortable. I don't like what
Speaker 1: it's corny, but like, yeah, like when I was having
Speaker 1: like you look really really if you look really pretty
Speaker 1: right now, just like there's a corny where you're saying,
Speaker 1: there's like a if you know someone well enough, you
Speaker 1: know when it's coming off as genuine and cool and
Speaker 1: you know what you don't feel it and also don't
Speaker 1: overdo it. Yeah, you know, say when you mean it?
Speaker 1: Say what do you mean? Mean? All right? So I's
Speaker 1: Bryan Joe, I'm I umm, I think that the say yo,
Speaker 1: are you feeling baby? When he's always so cured, he
Speaker 1: was like, am I gonna get yelled at? And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, I never have even been mad at
Speaker 1: you ever, because people get mad at you. I haven't listen.
Speaker 1: I have never been any person the guy. Oh, so
Speaker 1: you don't listen A full thing's so straight you couldn't
Speaker 1: even listen to that part. You don't care because anyone
Speaker 1: ever gotten to People get mad at you, ever, like
Speaker 1: no one hates you. People get mad at I bet yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet that, yeah, because they're like, Joe, have a
Speaker 1: fucking opinion. Stop being a push over Joe. I don't know,
Speaker 1: let me the face Joe. God. Yeah, people get mad
Speaker 1: at me. I'm sure. I'm sure they're people who don't
Speaker 1: like I'm sure. I mean there's definitely people who don't.
Speaker 1: I can think of a lot of reasons not to
Speaker 1: like me. So yeah, well that's sure. I'm sure other
Speaker 1: people have found them at some point. Is your charm?
Speaker 1: That's the main point of your child? So elan New
Speaker 1: Year's Eve, let's let's take it back here year New
Speaker 1: Year's Eve two thousand twelve into two thousand thirteen. Brin
Speaker 1: and I threw a fucking kind of cool party. That
Speaker 1: your party too nice? Good damn it? Yes it was
Speaker 1: someone come back. It was the two of us. I
Speaker 1: didn't he just was so excited that I was gonna
Speaker 1: be there. Sorry, just knocked the table into Christina Um.
Speaker 1: So New Year's Eve two thousand twelve into two thousand thirteen.
Speaker 1: So two New Year's year ago. Kern and I held
Speaker 1: a party at this bar. It was supposed to be
Speaker 1: like it was. That's the perfect to the best, that's perfect.
Speaker 1: We held a party. Yeah, most people throw a party.
Speaker 1: We held held We we held the door while people
Speaker 1: came in. We made it like this is gonna be
Speaker 1: the rage or fucking We acted like it was we
Speaker 1: were gonna the least cool part. How do we're putting
Speaker 1: going around putting bags at chips in little tin trays
Speaker 1: until the owner were like, I don't we don't want
Speaker 1: you because we didn't know. We knew. We didn't think
Speaker 1: we were gonna have enough room for all the people.
Speaker 1: We didn't. We had like secret bottles of alcohol hidden
Speaker 1: so we can get wasted. Yeah, there might have to
Speaker 1: be a line. Hope it's not too cold. Guys, you
Speaker 1: want to keep your code on when you're standing in
Speaker 1: line and know it's around the block. But look if
Speaker 1: those parties were no no line, barely any people, but
Speaker 1: you showed up, and then Joe showed up. The people
Speaker 1: who showed up though. We're cool people, and I had
Speaker 1: a good time. I mean when I wasn't in my
Speaker 1: mind crying, Yeah, because you were upset about the act.
Speaker 1: Oh that was the world that was tew you. He
Speaker 1: was gonna come no, no, no, no, he just thought
Speaker 1: it was I'm delusional. So I had broken up with
Speaker 1: my ex in August of that year. Um, but then
Speaker 1: we had kept sucking whatever. He wrote me this really
Speaker 1: did I remember that email? He wrote me like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I have just I just want He wrote me this
Speaker 1: email like a couple of hours before I went to
Speaker 1: Christina's house to get ready that day. Yeah, New Year's
Speaker 1: Eve in the day about how I just should enjoy
Speaker 1: myself and not think about him, and just like I've
Speaker 1: really have a really great New Year's because I deserve it.
Speaker 1: I was like, uh, go fuck yourself. Even at that time,
Speaker 1: it's like a little girl. Yeah in the day that
Speaker 1: maybe he was what he said, like a bad vibe
Speaker 1: for our party. And then and I was just like
Speaker 1: and then in my mind I still thought that he
Speaker 1: was going to like the doors were gonna like just
Speaker 1: swing open at eight and he was gonna be like, Karin,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry I made such a mistake, and we're
Speaker 1: gonna make you on the live Happily ever after, and
Speaker 1: then it would be like a when Harry met Seal
Speaker 1: you kind of like a New Year's Cantown. It would
Speaker 1: be something I always think it's gonna be like the movies.
Speaker 1: It never is. And then Joe showed up. You must
Speaker 1: have had no other plants. I showed up if you
Speaker 1: had nothing else to do. Two of my friends from
Speaker 1: high school, okay, regular people, and your comedy Notebook, which
Speaker 1: I thought was a really weird thing to bring to
Speaker 1: a New Year's I know I had a show earlier
Speaker 1: that night and I came from but that's so damn
Speaker 1: that's yeah. That's the main memory I have is that
Speaker 1: at some point that night I lost the note Living
Speaker 1: on the wild side there, My main memory was taking
Speaker 1: photos of you guys behind your back, of you making out,
Speaker 1: not posting on social media because that would have been
Speaker 1: really mean. But it was really fun. Every it was
Speaker 1: like a show. It was like the two people making
Speaker 1: out really hardcore at the part aready were like, oh ship,
Speaker 1: And then your comedy notebook fell off and you kind
Speaker 1: of like went in the corner and came back to
Speaker 1: where the funk is my comedy note book freaked out
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I knew where it was. I don't
Speaker 1: want to tell you right away because it was it
Speaker 1: was enjoyable. I didn't have it. It It was on the
Speaker 1: but you just let me look randomly for like five seconds.
Speaker 1: I didn't remember how that Christie is a nice one.
Speaker 1: So I can I imagine if, of course I understand
Speaker 1: the pain, I would do this. Yeah. No, I understand
Speaker 1: the pain that comes on with losing your comedy notes.
Speaker 1: No, no no, it's it was totally fair. So did you
Speaker 1: when you came to the party, did you have any
Speaker 1: expectations of the evening, like you were like, damn, totally
Speaker 1: going to make out. Uh no, Well it probably crossed
Speaker 1: them because I think we'd already we'd already flirted by
Speaker 1: that point, so there was already something in your mind
Speaker 1: or I don't know if it was. I mean that
Speaker 1: that's my memory. I mean this is I think it
Speaker 1: was rather surprised. I can't remember exactly. Um, and we don't.
Speaker 1: We've already known each other. You know. I liked you
Speaker 1: and I thought you were funny, but I think I
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't have like thought about it just because it
Speaker 1: wasn't It wasn't It wasn't like a game plan I had.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't like that was like, it wasn't like
Speaker 1: the goal for the night, right right, right? Well that's
Speaker 1: good because usually when you're singing to year Z, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my good fuck, that's what I do anyway. But
Speaker 1: you guys, so you guys are making out. It was awesome.
Speaker 1: Everyone enjoyed it, and then we all went back to
Speaker 1: I mean, I had fun. Were you Joe is not
Speaker 1: a big drinker, so were you drunk? I had to
Speaker 1: have been. I was going to say, you were sober? No,
Speaker 1: no, no no, yeah, I'm not. I'm not not a big drinker.
Speaker 1: But I did drink that night more than right, So
Speaker 1: that's even because I am a big drinker, as I
Speaker 1: think we've established um. But it was eighteen. But the
Speaker 1: problem was we were so busy setting off the party
Speaker 1: that I pulled one of these where I was sober, sober, sober,
Speaker 1: and then realized it was the clock was approaching midnight,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't get through midnight sober,
Speaker 1: and I was like the fucking pounding drink. So I
Speaker 1: got like flashed flashed their word for yeah, totally. I
Speaker 1: was too worried about like, is everyone okay? Is I
Speaker 1: don't have a code if there's not people here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you were not. You were worried about your mouth
Speaker 1: and griend's mouth having fun together. It was Yeah. I
Speaker 1: remember hanging out with my two friends who were there,
Speaker 1: and then at some point we started making out, and
Speaker 1: then my two friends were gone, right, and then I
Speaker 1: was looking to try to tell you by twelve times
Speaker 1: were making were making out by the bar. Yea. At
Speaker 1: some point I sent some weird text in my roommate.
Speaker 1: I sent a bunch of I don't even remember what
Speaker 1: it was, unrelated to anything. It was just like random
Speaker 1: random ship ponies are so stupid topic and I'm just
Speaker 1: doing the play by play, and then yeah, we looked
Speaker 1: for the noteblek and then we went back to I
Speaker 1: guess my house. I went across from the bar. That's right. Well,
Speaker 1: a bunch of people came back. Joe want a competition
Speaker 1: that night, though, because it was it was he was competing.
Speaker 1: He was You're how old were you at the time.
Speaker 1: I don't even I'm not going to quite sure how old?
Speaker 1: So you were twenty three? I was twenty. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just turned six, I think, and you, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you won against like a thirty seven year old
Speaker 1: or thirty eight year old, which would normally be my
Speaker 1: Did you show up to the party? I don't yeah.
Speaker 1: He was their only night they were and it was
Speaker 1: definitely one of those I was going home withs Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know at the
Speaker 1: time I was competing with anybody. But that's someone else.
Speaker 1: Someone else told me. I didn't tell you. No, no,
Speaker 1: some some other person who was watching the audience said
Speaker 1: about the person who apparently I was a known competition with.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. I eventually sucked him as well. But just
Speaker 1: like it was, it was like a good six months later,
Speaker 1: thank god, not that same night that it was like
Speaker 1: a good six months later. Spa. We come back, We
Speaker 1: come back to my apartment, smoke a little way. You
Speaker 1: did not arn you don't smoke, I don't. I don't think.
Speaker 1: Did you smoke? I don't do. Were we smoking? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. I was not. I wasn't
Speaker 1: drunk because I was like whenever I throw a party
Speaker 1: or hold up whenever, I just watch a born party happen. Um,
Speaker 1: I feel too much pressure to drink, like my birthday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's hang out at this barn no one else goes to.
Speaker 1: But whenever I hold something, I can't get drunk because
Speaker 1: I feel like I need to make sure everyone's happy
Speaker 1: and like take care of them. So we came back
Speaker 1: to my house and then we were talking for a while.
Speaker 1: I was tired, like two in the morning at that point.
Speaker 1: And then you guys went to sleep in my guest loft, right,
Speaker 1: And that's you didn't bang. That's being generous, guys. When
Speaker 1: she was an addict, when she says guest loft, it's
Speaker 1: sound very fantasy high slit where Christina throws things that
Speaker 1: she doesn't know where to put them away and where
Speaker 1: you are. If you sleep there, you will hit your
Speaker 1: head a minimum five times. But there's a mattress. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what's happening. I was so drunk.
Speaker 1: We wake up. You didn't bang? Did you try? You
Speaker 1: probably had to have like yeah, well like trying like
Speaker 1: a baby. I remember. I remember we went to I
Speaker 1: just have a quick re member being on your couch,
Speaker 1: and then we're in your love and I think we
Speaker 1: both just fell asleep quickly and then waking up in
Speaker 1: the morning, I think I tried and then you tried
Speaker 1: to bang right right, and yeah, I think you said,
Speaker 1: like I just jerk off. It sounds like it's going
Speaker 1: to be much more fun for you. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a classic charinism. And I was like, I look, did there.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that because I was like, you know
Speaker 1: how many people have sucked in that loft? Look at
Speaker 1: I would have literally been like, just come on my face,
Speaker 1: then let me sleep. But it wasn't like it wasn't
Speaker 1: like I was making like a effort. It was just like,
Speaker 1: is this still? I was so hung over that morning
Speaker 1: that the thought of even anything hung over over sex
Speaker 1: is not good. I mean, I liked Joe very much.
Speaker 1: I was so angry he was there when I woke up,
Speaker 1: because you know, when you're hung over, I just want
Speaker 1: to do you for a second. Oh my god. The
Speaker 1: worst thing because I wasn't in my house, I wasn't room,
Speaker 1: I was so far away from I was. I was like,
Speaker 1: ah so much, and I was like, I gotta go
Speaker 1: check on my exes Instagram to make sure he didn't
Speaker 1: have a better night than me. There was so many
Speaker 1: things I had. Of course, I was, I was, that
Speaker 1: was in the that was in the prime time. I
Speaker 1: was in crazy pants. I was crazy. I was, I
Speaker 1: was out of but she wasn't. Did you sense that
Speaker 1: she was crazy or not? Like from a breakup like
Speaker 1: kind of No, I'm trying to remember saturated with that. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't think. I try to talk about
Speaker 1: it with people. I'm good, I am interested in. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear that ship. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: if you seem like a general mess, I didn't attribute
Speaker 1: that to you being set in the break up like
Speaker 1: you might have been crazy, but I didn't your alcoholism.
Speaker 1: That's not your drunkenness and oppression. Like I just figured
Speaker 1: my lore and Karin pheromones sadness and alcohol. O god up.
Speaker 1: So okay, So it didn't happen for any of you.
Speaker 1: But it was still good. It wasn't good like it
Speaker 1: was fine and then I acceptable and I ordered blockheads
Speaker 1: with your boyfriend because I leave Christina on fucking New
Speaker 1: Year's Day. Christina leaves with her boss to get fancy clothes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: expensive clothes. She wanted to treat me to a Christmas present.
Speaker 1: I couldn't bought me like six thousand dollars worth of
Speaker 1: shoes and clothes. I was hungover. It was the last
Speaker 1: day I was going to see my boyfriend before he
Speaker 1: went on they went on a work trip for two weeks.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do it, but she pulled up
Speaker 1: in front of my house and said, oh, I'm here.
Speaker 1: I wasn't planned. I was enraged for you that yes, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember that. Yeah, yeah, I hope you remember that.
Speaker 1: That's I remember that. He's a director, remember talking. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then Stephen was like, you want to order block
Speaker 1: And I was like, I do want to order blockheads?
Speaker 1: Was it like ten in the morning. Uh no, it
Speaker 1: wasn't ten in the morning. It was I didn't think
Speaker 1: it was happening, no he uh no, it was. It
Speaker 1: was an afternoon time. It was a time. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean anytimes a good time block so good shout out this. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that didn't happen, and then let's fast forward to
Speaker 1: the stand up New York holiday party, because nothing else
Speaker 1: happened in between them. There was just ohya. And that
Speaker 1: was two thousand end of two thousand thirteen, and this
Speaker 1: is actually it actually happened to Actually they threw it
Speaker 1: in the very early January two. It was almost a
Speaker 1: year ago. It was almost a year apart, but we
Speaker 1: had been friends the whole time and seeing each other
Speaker 1: many times. It was it was an awkward I held
Speaker 1: lots of open mic spots for him. That's sweet. Well
Speaker 1: you're a great guy, Joe. I really like you. Um
Speaker 1: so and then so we had the stand of New
Speaker 1: York had a fucking rager. As per use all their parties.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, they know a party. It amazing because that's
Speaker 1: what happens when you get a bunch of young guys
Speaker 1: together to run the club. This is like I feel
Speaker 1: like hit pop room downstairs or grinding each other. Oh
Speaker 1: it was. It was just like different sections. It was
Speaker 1: the best party. It was one of my favorite downstairs upstairs.
Speaker 1: It was great. It was like different vibes and everyone
Speaker 1: and they had just come off that powerful Halloween party.
Speaker 1: They had a lot to live up, had a lot
Speaker 1: to live up to, which we address I think on
Speaker 1: like the first episode of the podcast, So did you
Speaker 1: guys shot up? What I said? Oh Joe, are you jealous? Yeah? No, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't have happened there. I gained a new guest
Speaker 1: for guys who every stand up New York every every
Speaker 1: every holiday. So we're trying to as many parties holiday
Speaker 1: specials every time is there a holiday? You guys party
Speaker 1: after every party, about after every party. We ended up somehow,
Speaker 1: like I don't know how this happened. With flag daya
Speaker 1: National Siblings Day, your National Siblings Day every time, every
Speaker 1: time today, every time the Inner State of America has
Speaker 1: a reaging party. We somehow end up recording the podcast
Speaker 1: the next fucking day with like vitamins and Thailand all
Speaker 1: and water. We're like, oh, yeah, it was the best
Speaker 1: and then the worst. It's the best of times. The
Speaker 1: worst of it is exact describes the day, the night of,
Speaker 1: and the day after like brutal hangover. Yea, So so
Speaker 1: did you guys try to hook up? Then you guys
Speaker 1: made out for a second at the holiday party, Well,
Speaker 1: if you were called, we were in. We were in
Speaker 1: actually the room we're in now recording this podcast, and
Speaker 1: everyone was kind of like making out. And anytime Joe
Speaker 1: and I are near each other and there's a little
Speaker 1: bit of alcohol in like a mood, we just make
Speaker 1: I feel the thing. That's just like oh okay, but
Speaker 1: it's not even like it's not even like, oh it's
Speaker 1: because it's like the my last resort. It's not like
Speaker 1: that at all. It's just feels like a comfort thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know if exactly I do. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to see that because I thought that that would be
Speaker 1: offensive to you. But I feel I feel I feel
Speaker 1: safe with you, um and I feel like I can
Speaker 1: trust you, because I don't really, especially after doing the podcast,
Speaker 1: very few people I feel like I can trust. But
Speaker 1: I feel like you're good God, oh no, you've been
Speaker 1: trying to help my leg for years. Like I feel
Speaker 1: trust with that. That's that's kind of dog like that metaphor,
Speaker 1: you just very dog like. But before before you stop,
Speaker 1: but before you got to that like an insulting comparison
Speaker 1: that I was on board. I'm on board with that, hilarious. No,
Speaker 1: So so okay, So yeah, I feel that I feel
Speaker 1: going on. Yeah, It's like there's no weirdness, there's no jealousy.
Speaker 1: There's just like four friends who like making out. That's
Speaker 1: kind of the best, right, There's like trust each other.
Speaker 1: There's just enough for me to want to touch. It's
Speaker 1: not like desperate like we we like when we come
Speaker 1: in a room together, like my pants are getting wet,
Speaker 1: but if they touched me, like my pants could get wet. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's goods are good. That's all you really need, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? So, did you guys make out
Speaker 1: that night or no? You were? You were okay, So
Speaker 1: you were and then you tried to go home with
Speaker 1: each other. You try to get her to come home.
Speaker 1: You were trying to get me a cabin so might
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean I think you probably. I
Speaker 1: think we were taught. We were talking about it, and
Speaker 1: then it became like like time was just going all right,
Speaker 1: And then did you know that other guy wanted to
Speaker 1: make out with her and they were like tug of warring.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you wanted to make out with you,
Speaker 1: you wanted to talk to me and I and I
Speaker 1: had I remember leaving and seeing your talk and think like,
Speaker 1: all right, I guess that guy yeah, because there was
Speaker 1: no like like, oh you go off awesome, have fun.
Speaker 1: And the thing was I had that personal exactly. It's
Speaker 1: just nice to have a buddy you can make out with, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: It's nice to have someone you can make out with.
Speaker 1: Friends gonna kill herself, friend's gonna cut herself. It's not
Speaker 1: it's just it's just where I'm at in like, you know,
Speaker 1: but that's so like oh that like I have weight
Speaker 1: lifted off of my shoulder because of the situation. It's
Speaker 1: so nice and wonderful to have somebody that you just
Speaker 1: sucking make out with. But then it's like I want
Speaker 1: to make out the other person or I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I can't. There's no hard feelings or no like god
Speaker 1: damn it, or no anger. That's so I've never that's wondering.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever. I guess I have now.
Speaker 1: It's always one of us likes each other more than
Speaker 1: the other person. It's always it's the other person. It's
Speaker 1: always that, right, I guess it takes two people really
Speaker 1: just who can just numb emotions? You know? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: that's yeah, that's a great point, Joe. You are both
Speaker 1: very good at that. Yeah you can. So then that night,
Speaker 1: so I mean, aired that being said, I definitely got
Speaker 1: my pussy in that night. Yeah, on that chair right
Speaker 1: over there. Actually, it's like I want to do on
Speaker 1: that couch. It's like you know those sex in the
Speaker 1: city bus tours. Yeah, it's like she got a pussy
Speaker 1: eating over there. Yow have you have you done something
Speaker 1: in almost everything every piano? I want to do like
Speaker 1: a sexual thing in every one of these chair Now
Speaker 1: that'd be the most boring. It was a good night though,
Speaker 1: because I didn't. It was like I really really was,
Speaker 1: like I really thought I really like that guy. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, it makes me too, And
Speaker 1: then that fizz That's fine. We'll get to that at
Speaker 1: some point another episode, at some point. Okay, So then
Speaker 1: and then more time goes by, just like it happened
Speaker 1: in between the last two hookups. And then when was
Speaker 1: the last time you guys made out? Um? Uh? The
Speaker 1: last time was last weekend. I was like, that was
Speaker 1: last weekend? Wasn't that? It was? He yere? It started here,
Speaker 1: but we went to the magical place. We went to
Speaker 1: a bar with my other friend was also named Karin, right,
Speaker 1: who was very sad. Why was she said? I saw
Speaker 1: her and she had gone through a breakup. She seemed
Speaker 1: happy when I saw her, but I, oh, yeah she was.
Speaker 1: She wasn't that she was the opposite of happy. Wasn't
Speaker 1: a thing. Then I pumped the half picture of Margarita
Speaker 1: into her and she was like a feeling it's getting
Speaker 1: better medicine. Yeah, we went to the shittiest bar, which
Speaker 1: is hergither Karin's favorite bar. Karin, when you saw him
Speaker 1: come in or at the show, realized he was at
Speaker 1: the same show where you like, mm yep, let's go
Speaker 1: over there at all, I was like, Oh, it's Shoe.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to see Joe. Okay, that's my always my reaction, right,
Speaker 1: Oh Joe, I am happy. I'm sorry. No, I think
Speaker 1: that you were sort it was like that dynamic of
Speaker 1: like when you already had some like when we were
Speaker 1: both a little drunk or whatever. I feel like it
Speaker 1: was that dynamic immediately that night. Oh you know, because
Speaker 1: I was semi hammered. I got because I did her show.
Speaker 1: I was already it was already at that from when
Speaker 1: I first said it was at that level, right right
Speaker 1: at the New Year, because I had already had it
Speaker 1: wasn't half a picture of Margarite at a performed on
Speaker 1: another show at the Creek, and I normally it was
Speaker 1: like just I just needed to drink. I normally don't
Speaker 1: ever like to drink more than half a beer before
Speaker 1: I performed but I had drink a lot that and
Speaker 1: I actually couldn't believe I got through my step and
Speaker 1: I had great, great set. Actually know that I had
Speaker 1: a great time to Creek when my when I hear
Speaker 1: was like, okay, I think it was. It was it
Speaker 1: was like good as you were like performing drun, Yeah,
Speaker 1: something like classic classic, oh boy, and uh yeah, so
Speaker 1: I was probably like super flirty with you, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you went you continued with them to to
Speaker 1: a bar. We hung out. We hung out here for
Speaker 1: a while, yeah, right, and then everyone kind of dispersed
Speaker 1: and it was the three and then I kind of
Speaker 1: asked you to code. I was surprised that you said
Speaker 1: yes because I had nothing to do with comedy. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay, this is happening right, and
Speaker 1: you're rubbing against each other at this bar. Ye. Bertie
Speaker 1: told me, well, you kind to set you kind of.
Speaker 1: You didn't just say it comes up. You were like,
Speaker 1: on this bar, we'll hook up and then we'll go
Speaker 1: to so you mentioned actually you said we'll go to
Speaker 1: my apartment. Yeah, I guess. I guess I really wanted
Speaker 1: you to come, because I don't know if I had
Speaker 1: the time that I meant that, but I knew that
Speaker 1: it would make you come to the bar. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I was manipulating you know you I make
Speaker 1: you feel it's a special manipulation for you. Well, I
Speaker 1: guess I mean it backfired for you then, because it's
Speaker 1: not you know, because what well you ended up you
Speaker 1: ended up doing things that you said you didn't set
Speaker 1: out to do. Well, it's not like you didn't mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: right right? Did you fu? You fucked? Right? Yeah? Because
Speaker 1: I asked her and she was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't feel a fantom dick in me the next morning,
Speaker 1: but I think we did. And you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: I woke up fans and this is the thing I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't black out drump, but I just wasn't the
Speaker 1: mouse apartment or the mouse apartment? Well there was and
Speaker 1: a mouse when's not a mouse? When Joe's there? This
Speaker 1: is the new act? Yeah, what did you think of it?
Speaker 1: You were it was dark? It was it was dark? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you have you have to unpack some things.
Speaker 1: You Honestly, she's not you could have cleaned a little
Speaker 1: before you ever think that More than anything proves that
Speaker 1: I didn't that I had to give intentions of you
Speaker 1: coming back with me because there's nothing. I think vagina
Speaker 1: was shaved it Usually I don't know. Usually if on
Speaker 1: a Friday night, it would be when I'm hooking up.
Speaker 1: When I'm like in my stage where I'm single and
Speaker 1: I'm hooking up with whoever I woke up, I'm like, oh, planning. Oh,
Speaker 1: if it's a Friday night and I'm going out, I'm
Speaker 1: going to ingest alcohol. The puss is shaved. Yeah, absolute,
Speaker 1: You're welcome. Um, what's your stance on the shave as
Speaker 1: a young man? What's your younger than bush? Your lightning round?
Speaker 1: You're like, you like shaved. You're from a shaved generation.
Speaker 1: I figured you would like the shaved were not from
Speaker 1: different generations you're from. Say you're not. You're in the
Speaker 1: same decade year old? Yes, you like that's disgusting, and
Speaker 1: I feel like, I feel like this is so fun
Speaker 1: to like this sex. I don't know how was the
Speaker 1: sex okay? Was it all right? It wasn't because they
Speaker 1: were black? Yeah, you were just a tired or were
Speaker 1: you wasted? No? I wasn't. I was drunk, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't black. I have like a we've talked about this,
Speaker 1: How was it really late? How late was it was
Speaker 1: really late? It was? And it was three dork and
Speaker 1: I lied down. We went to that bar and then
Speaker 1: you paid for a cat. Yeah, I remember that you
Speaker 1: paid pay whatever. I don't department. He SNI have to
Speaker 1: go home in the morning. That's fine. We split it
Speaker 1: with my hair friends anyway, because because the first thing
Speaker 1: I do after a night of drinking is log on
Speaker 1: to Bank of America dot com and say, what the
Speaker 1: fund did I spend? What did mama do? Fifty cents?
Speaker 1: So I go, I must have split this with someone.
Speaker 1: And then I asked Karina. I was like, did we
Speaker 1: split it? And she just looked at me with that.
Speaker 1: With that, she took the cab. She's twenty one, but
Speaker 1: she's like, my mom, Okay, so you shared a cab
Speaker 1: up Yeah, all right, So I want to get to
Speaker 1: I want to get to the fucking you go upstairs,
Speaker 1: turn off the lights, and a drunken, tired slumber literally
Speaker 1: gonna ask Joe like I wanted to text you, Ah,
Speaker 1: we did? I think we did? We? I won't go
Speaker 1: with the parts off did I have? I remember like
Speaker 1: starting to go into it, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: hope I carried through for your sake. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: no I was at my house, so that's where I
Speaker 1: needed to go anyway, you know, right, you want to
Speaker 1: make you want to make a trip worthwhile. He's a
Speaker 1: good guy. You remembered it. Yeah, I feel like it's
Speaker 1: good in your feelings. Okay, was it? Did it? Was
Speaker 1: it good? Did not last long? What's going on? I'm
Speaker 1: sure it didn't want to come. Yeah, I think it was.
Speaker 1: It was for a little while and then we just
Speaker 1: went to sleep, right, like immediate immediately. Did you use
Speaker 1: a condom? Yeah? Okay, great, thank god. Someone's responsing, Wow,
Speaker 1: what was it from your wallet? Like, did you have
Speaker 1: it on you? I'm sure? I mean I have them,
Speaker 1: but he was going to say, did you dig through boxes?
Speaker 1: I do have them, but they're from last Halloween and
Speaker 1: he wouldn't have found them. Oh man, Um, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: from a holiday. Yeah, it's from a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Get I got it in my in my pumpkin basket.
Speaker 1: A lot of people get candy on Halloween. You're just
Speaker 1: stuck up get condoms? Can I if your condom? Well?
Speaker 1: I was actually gonna because I figured we did have sex.
Speaker 1: But I was going to actually text you at one
Speaker 1: point this week and like this is weird, but like
Speaker 1: you're gonna be on the podcast do you want to
Speaker 1: have sex again? Like sober? I was gonna what would
Speaker 1: you have done if I had texted you and said,
Speaker 1: do you want to have sex? Do you want to
Speaker 1: have sex? Sober? Like for the podcast? Like to do
Speaker 1: a compared to make sure to make sure your memory
Speaker 1: would be just so that we like just gu gonna
Speaker 1: be definitely had high text and I knew it, and
Speaker 1: just so I could have like a more memorable experience
Speaker 1: that what was what? What? What have your feelings been
Speaker 1: on that? I mean that it would have been a
Speaker 1: first right first and what like let's say let's have
Speaker 1: let's have sex again because I don't remember the last
Speaker 1: one fresh for the that doesn't happen a lot, right
Speaker 1: this is so I don't know, I don't know my
Speaker 1: It wouldn't have been angered, like none of this would
Speaker 1: have been Like I feel like you're the type of
Speaker 1: person though that like I like to have one at
Speaker 1: least one person in my life who I can just
Speaker 1: text and be like do you want to have sex?
Speaker 1: No strings? Like just do everyone that would have been fine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: would you ever have you ever texted? Have you ever
Speaker 1: booty texted? Karin? Would you do you booty tech? Do
Speaker 1: you like? No, you do that in general, Joe? Not really? No,
Speaker 1: I don't really know. We don't do Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: if if you were in the room, I think that's
Speaker 1: what the dynamics right exactly. You see each other, you're
Speaker 1: both hammered, and I can't imagine the future being like, hey,
Speaker 1: can I come over? Do you? You know? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't see that. Yeah, I don't want We don't
Speaker 1: strike me as that kind of good me. Now I
Speaker 1: feel like I was comfortable enough to do that. But
Speaker 1: now I listen, if that's a dynamic that's set up
Speaker 1: from now on, then so wait, are we agreeing right
Speaker 1: here right now? If you guys want to bang, you
Speaker 1: can text each other. It's okay. I mean, it's not disrespectful.
Speaker 1: You both have respect for each other. I'm if one
Speaker 1: of you says no, it's cool too. No, I mean
Speaker 1: I'm on my I really like like someone. But if
Speaker 1: I but also he's I, you're not exclusive. No, we
Speaker 1: have to we have work to do. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: if there is anyone that I would text right out
Speaker 1: of fuck, I'm looking at him. Here's looking at you, Joe?
Speaker 1: Do you eat? Do you booty decks? Girls? Anyway? Like?
Speaker 1: I feel like if I'm in the room, it's interested in.
Speaker 1: Have you ever sent a text like who you like?
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't get sad and desperate and
Speaker 1: drunk at three. I'm like a lot of us do no.
Speaker 1: I mean, unless it's sim lonely, unless it's someone I'm
Speaker 1: I'm seeing, or have like an ongoing thing with someone
Speaker 1: who I haven't hooked up with, I wouldn't well right,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess I've only done that the people
Speaker 1: I've hooked up with. But even if it's like very
Speaker 1: spread don't hang out, so there's no like relationship there,
Speaker 1: although you know, not really are are you up? You
Speaker 1: want to come over something? I don't really do that.
Speaker 1: That's that's attractive, that's willpower, there's something you want to
Speaker 1: talk about. And this is this happened with Joe, and
Speaker 1: this happens a lot to me. I'll have sex and
Speaker 1: my shirt will stay on the entire time. And at
Speaker 1: first I just thought it was because people can't wait
Speaker 1: to get to that. Plus a um, because the really.
Speaker 1: People a lot like people just want to get that
Speaker 1: plus out to gave the mouth to the vagina, and
Speaker 1: that's nice. My vagina is great, but it's very thankful.
Speaker 1: It writes to you many things. But no, no, I
Speaker 1: was thinking about it, and I was like, I think
Speaker 1: I'm offended now because I bet you, Christina, I bet
Speaker 1: when you're having sex, the shirt's the first thing to
Speaker 1: come off every time because people want to see them boombez.
Speaker 1: I like, actually like having sex with my bra on
Speaker 1: my shirt because your tits moved too much. I just
Speaker 1: feel like I feel sexier. I feel like they're placed,
Speaker 1: they're separated and raised, and it looks great. It looks
Speaker 1: like a fucking big tits in a brawl. Like care
Speaker 1: to the point where if a guy would start to
Speaker 1: take it off, you'd want to like, I wouldn't stop.
Speaker 1: Oh it's fine. It was it was up to you.
Speaker 1: If he left it all to you, you would take
Speaker 1: your shirt feel really sexy and a bra just a bra,
Speaker 1: but in not a bra that I feel sexy too.
Speaker 1: But there's something about being in a bra. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. Stephen love Stephen does not no bra, no shirt,
Speaker 1: no nothing. See what I feel like the thing is
Speaker 1: like I feel like people always take my bra and
Speaker 1: like almost feel me up and then and then, but
Speaker 1: not the shirt. And I'm just like, but if it's new,
Speaker 1: if it's like a new hook up the situation, because
Speaker 1: I like to be fully nude, then take off shut.
Speaker 1: I don't like to take off my own clothes. I
Speaker 1: like the guy other people to take. I like to
Speaker 1: take off the guy's clothes and I like him to
Speaker 1: take but not every guy is going to go for
Speaker 1: the taking off the shirt. I feel like, oh, of course,
Speaker 1: not like they'd be like, whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: That was my boner timer um um, I don't when
Speaker 1: you woke up with your shirt, that's something I don't.
Speaker 1: My shirt was on and my pants were of My
Speaker 1: My shirt was usually unless the girl takes it off.
Speaker 1: Your shirt was on too, I thought it was, but
Speaker 1: were your pants on? Both our pants were off on
Speaker 1: both our shirts. I mean you could put your pants
Speaker 1: back on right and in the morning when I was
Speaker 1: leaving it right yea yeah, because you're gonna walk outside
Speaker 1: and stuff. And Pinkerton joined us as he likes to do. Yo,
Speaker 1: you go walk a shirt with my men's in the morning.
Speaker 1: Pinkerton loves to meet my men's so that's interesting. Though
Speaker 1: you don't like you like a guy to take your
Speaker 1: clothes off? Is that all? Like, in any circumstance like
Speaker 1: guys to be as aggressive as possible without actually hurting.
Speaker 1: Are you aggressive in bed Joe? No, I wouldn't wouldnt
Speaker 1: say I'm overly aggressive, but I mean I took your
Speaker 1: sure you're obviously yeah. No, I think I think he
Speaker 1: takes the lead in a nice way, very gentlemanly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not in a way that you're like like, not in
Speaker 1: like a pussy way. And it wasn't I wasn't jumping
Speaker 1: any guns or anything. It was like it was clearly
Speaker 1: established we were gonna have sex. Ye, Joe's personality is
Speaker 1: as such that, like I wouldn't you know if he
Speaker 1: was if you started, like if the door closed, it
Speaker 1: all of a sudden he went to being the Joe
Speaker 1: that I noticed to be like your bitch, get on
Speaker 1: the benobo, like, oh shit, I gotta go. I would
Speaker 1: say what is happening out? You know, like because I
Speaker 1: would like that normally if Joe walks in the room,
Speaker 1: like all right, bitch, you're ready to get fuck, You're like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, where did that come from? He stucks like
Speaker 1: he stinks like a dirty rag in my mouth. He's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: get on off four. You needna take this from behind,
Speaker 1: I mean, super weirded out. Start hitting the start beating
Speaker 1: your dog. Then you would get punch I think and
Speaker 1: her roommate. What's the most of what's sex? That would
Speaker 1: be hilarious. He just jumps out the window and you're like,
Speaker 1: all right, see, I guess you're someone. I feel like
Speaker 1: I can text you and say that I want to
Speaker 1: have sex with you and and punch your dog in
Speaker 1: the skull, you know, thank you that kind of relationship. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it's like I going for like, well this will happen
Speaker 1: like whatever. Like I just feel like there's just like
Speaker 1: I I love this And that's why I try to
Speaker 1: only have sex with friends, because like I have a
Speaker 1: really good experience. I gotta say with it and doing
Speaker 1: it right. You're hooking up right, I think I I
Speaker 1: because I did not I when I was single, I
Speaker 1: hooked up with people who weren't my friends initially and
Speaker 1: then just it's just trust. It's just too much pressure
Speaker 1: and you don't know what the other person is thinking
Speaker 1: it's just taking friendship to the next level. Like honestly,
Speaker 1: like a lot of my girlfriends I would bang too,
Speaker 1: but that then it would they would probably feel weird
Speaker 1: about it. But I just I don't know, maybe yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe that's yeah, I think that's probably different people different,
Speaker 1: but but like, yeah, it's I think you have to
Speaker 1: like compartmentalize because I feel like we could be friends.
Speaker 1: Could I think for a lot of people, I feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of naturally, yeah, I don't feel right.
Speaker 1: I feel like we could be friends and we could
Speaker 1: never we could never have sex again, and that would
Speaker 1: totally fine. Yeah, it'd be zero weirdness, Like we couldn't
Speaker 1: have sex and it wouldn't be weird, or we could
Speaker 1: not have sex, like so awesome. Well, because it's like
Speaker 1: an equal sexual relations I feel like our dynamic now
Speaker 1: it's no different than it would have been like a
Speaker 1: month ago when we hadn't had sex or yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: totally that's good. What's the most aggressive thing you've ever
Speaker 1: done in bed? Joe? Like, are you have you there
Speaker 1: are their moments? Are you've been aggressive? I want to
Speaker 1: hear about them. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: say I mean, I can't think off hand of right
Speaker 1: incredibly aggresive. I mean, I mean, I killed one girl,
Speaker 1: but you know she liked it. I don't know. So
Speaker 1: you guys, you guys, do you have any closing remarks
Speaker 1: you would like to say. We've obviously stablished that if
Speaker 1: the two of you are experienced, are are feeling the
Speaker 1: need to bang and late at night, even if you're
Speaker 1: not in the same room drunk, you can vote like
Speaker 1: they just high five ladies and gentlemen. You can both
Speaker 1: text each other and there's this understanding. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to like seal this treaty for you guys, because I
Speaker 1: feel excited for you. I'm very much a bro in
Speaker 1: the sex department. I know what to say. That's awesome,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. I want to close on this, and this
Speaker 1: is kind of like a controversial thing, but everyone's opinion
Speaker 1: is real quick, round table style. So a lot of
Speaker 1: the comments we've been getting or like things people will
Speaker 1: say that STDs have been saying things like STDs are
Speaker 1: a punishment, like or some sort of weird repercussion for
Speaker 1: having too much checks or being too promiscuous. I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: I think we all know what we're seeing, but they
Speaker 1: do any feedback or I do. I think that. I
Speaker 1: think it's a very similar thing to back in the
Speaker 1: eighties when people said AIDS cures gaze that you think
Speaker 1: it's the exact same Christine thing, you know, so sucking joke.
Speaker 1: I wrote the same exact thing in my notebook, girlfid.
Speaker 1: It's exactly. It's it's the same thing. What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Repeats itself, and it's like like, no, Like, guys, std
Speaker 1: s aren a repercussion. It's fucking science. Yes, it's exactly.
Speaker 1: It's like it's what you can get an STD. You
Speaker 1: can wear a condom and get an STD. Like you're
Speaker 1: not saying you're on cancer because you're a bad person. Exactly,
Speaker 1: Oh you got cancer because something happened with your cells.
Speaker 1: I don't really understand cancer, but energy and the cells
Speaker 1: and when the chemistry. And that was my awful bill
Speaker 1: Cosby impression. You're all welcome. What do you think about
Speaker 1: the promiscuous thing? No, I don't know. That's that's how
Speaker 1: TDS being a punishment. What do you have to say
Speaker 1: to people that, Yeah, people say punishment formed. No, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean it's about being safe. I guess.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, I don't need to do
Speaker 1: some ps A, but whatever, remember because you're horrible. No,
Speaker 1: it's not that I remember they try to scare scare
Speaker 1: us in school about it's because they had some woman
Speaker 1: come in and talk. It was like my daughter, she'd
Speaker 1: never had sex, and then she went and studied abroad
Speaker 1: and met this guy who she fell in love with
Speaker 1: at sex with him, and he had AIDS and she died,
Speaker 1: probably because he was from some weird country. Probably it's about,
Speaker 1: you know, those weird guys. Probably it's about hating people
Speaker 1: from other countries. Not promiscuous trying to response. I guess
Speaker 1: my response would be, as long as you don't suck
Speaker 1: a dirty foreigner, then you're gonna be fine country. And
Speaker 1: if you do right, as long as it's not some
Speaker 1: disgusting look, if you're paying a stranger, protect yourself, if
Speaker 1: you don't know what this person is, clean, protect yourself.
Speaker 1: But it's in no way a nice white person. They're
Speaker 1: gonna it's gonna be fine if they're straight, white male,
Speaker 1: they have nothing outside, they're probably woman, you know, across
Speaker 1: fifty states. Absolutely, it's a notion of like, okay, back
Speaker 1: in the eighties when when it was the AIDS epidemic
Speaker 1: and people so many people were anti gay for what
Speaker 1: are fucking stupid ass reason? They had probably some dumbing
Speaker 1: religious thing, but it's like, oh, gay people are a
Speaker 1: minority group, they're vulnerable there that so I feel like
Speaker 1: I can pray on them and I'm going to be
Speaker 1: right and I feel more powerful saying that it's the
Speaker 1: same thing. It's the same like, oh, and it's mostly
Speaker 1: blamed on women. I'll just never understand how history can
Speaker 1: can so blatantly repeat itself time and time that people
Speaker 1: are stupid and that and we don't know what do
Speaker 1: you think the answer is to that? You're wrong, You're
Speaker 1: faking idiot, You're fucking idiot answers, fuck you, like it
Speaker 1: is to most things that we just have on this podcast. Guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us this week on
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked the Anti Slusham Podcast. Thank you Joe,
Speaker 1: Thank you for having email. It's sorry about last night's
Speaker 1: show at gmail dot com and it's s r y
Speaker 1: about last n y T if you want to tweet um,
Speaker 1: and that's it. Have a great fucking weekend. Have a
Speaker 1: great weekend. Do do you, rage, bang, whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do, read read a book in a hammock. I
Speaker 1: don't by