Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Your Guests again and
Speaker 1: for Katy for a little while. First up, it's Chris Alvarado. Hey, Chris,
Speaker 1: if you could master our usual skill like archery or
Speaker 1: blastoming or whatever, what would it be M probably the
Speaker 1: ability to go about my daily life without the crippling anxiety.
Speaker 1: I feel just like walk down the street without thinking
Speaker 1: is everyone looking at me? Is everybody person is looking
Speaker 1: at me? This morning, I walk my dog, for instance,
Speaker 1: and my dad got me this denim jacket, which is
Speaker 1: a wild shot in the dark for my dad to
Speaker 1: buy me clothes. He doesn't do that, but he bought
Speaker 1: me this denim jacket. I wanted to try it out
Speaker 1: this morning, just to fill it out. In my walk,
Speaker 1: I can barely get to the fucking walk. Thank you,
Speaker 1: jack is too tight. It was you're wearing denim pants
Speaker 1: as well, and I got in your head anxiety. So archery,
Speaker 1: There you go, There you go. Next up, it's Jackie
Speaker 1: Gonzalez to Ruthie. Jackie, you're wearing a well Disney World shirts.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of funny that I chose this question
Speaker 1: for you. Have you ever had an awful experience at
Speaker 1: an amusement park. Um, yes, so my senior year or
Speaker 1: senior years in general in Florida, you go to grad night,
Speaker 1: which is either at Walt disney World or Universal. They
Speaker 1: have to change up, uh, which theme park you go
Speaker 1: to because obviously it's all the students in Florida, and
Speaker 1: it's different nights, different weekends. I was lucky enough to
Speaker 1: match up theme parks and nights with my best friend,
Speaker 1: who went to a different high school. I was unlucky
Speaker 1: enough to have my best friend get dumped the night
Speaker 1: before grad night by my boyfriend's twin brother and they
Speaker 1: spent and like it had happened at like three o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning, the breakup, and she calls and also
Speaker 1: grad night, you show up to school at an ungodly
Speaker 1: hour because you have to drive to Orlando, so you
Speaker 1: show up at like five am, and it's very odd.
Speaker 1: So she calls me. She's like, you need to drive
Speaker 1: me to school. And it was like what, She like,
Speaker 1: you need to drive me to school? I drive her
Speaker 1: to school. She is a wreck. She tells me Alexey
Speaker 1: has and I'm calling him out. Alexey has dumped her.
Speaker 1: But because it's so fresh, like they spend the whole
Speaker 1: bus ride up like sitting next to each other, and
Speaker 1: she's just crying, you know, because like she can't let
Speaker 1: this go. This just happened. And we're on this forever
Speaker 1: bus ride to Disney, and then we get to Disney
Speaker 1: and her twin spends the whole time with the other
Speaker 1: woman holding hands, and we're like going through the park
Speaker 1: like trying to like avoid them and not see them,
Speaker 1: but of course, but also like haunting for her to
Speaker 1: like look at my boyfriend's face, which is identical to
Speaker 1: her boyfriend. When you said her twin, I thought there
Speaker 1: was an additional set of twins, and like, what the
Speaker 1: world's happening? It was very traumatizing. But then we decided
Speaker 1: to like redo that like Orlando trip, and we redid
Speaker 1: it with Joey and his friends as like a really
Speaker 1: as like a we need to refresh this city for her. Um,
Speaker 1: that was the last time that she's been to the parks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I could speak for everybody in the Alchemy
Speaker 1: this family when I say fuck you, Alexei. Yeah was
Speaker 1: the bomb. Next up is James Heeney. Hey do you
Speaker 1: have a guilty pleasure? Sci fire action movie? I let's
Speaker 1: see know I'm proud of all of the sci fi,
Speaker 1: Like I really, I don't know. I think that the
Speaker 1: movie John dies at the end. I enjoy watching it,
Speaker 1: even though it's just they didn't finish the whole book,
Speaker 1: Like the book is ten times better. But I like
Speaker 1: Paulcia Mahdi and the movie is still good. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I guess that would be my guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1: John dies at the end, but only because it reminds
Speaker 1: me how much I love the book. Yeah, that's pretty
Speaker 1: decent film, though. I mean, I like crap like Prayer
Speaker 1: for the roller Boys in the eighties and that's not
Speaker 1: good at all. I love Logan's Run, but that's good, right,
Speaker 1: that's not a bad that's classic. It's classic. Yeah, campy.
Speaker 1: Next up is Craig Akowski. Craig, if he had to
Speaker 1: choose which of the four is your favorite? Monkey? That's
Speaker 1: 'm okay? Oh what do with the hat? You go?
Speaker 1: It's just he just a little more beat nick and
Speaker 1: uh like he looked over it a little more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's probably pretty true. You walk the artistic
Speaker 1: of them. I couldn't take hold on. But what's what's
Speaker 1: what's the most popular? One's named Craig the name, but
Speaker 1: I guess David Jones was the cute one. David Jones, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's cute. That was David Bowie's given name is David Jones,
Speaker 1: but he changed it to David Bowie so they wouldn't
Speaker 1: confuse him with Davy Jones of the Monkeys. And my
Speaker 1: birth name is David changed it to Craig Acowsky for
Speaker 1: show biz. For show it's Joey Greer. Joey. I hear
Speaker 1: your eggshop got closed down on the promenade, but now
Speaker 1: you've got a hot new place coming in. What is it?
Speaker 1: Thank you for saying that in because that's exactly what
Speaker 1: it is. It's hot. So we crank at the furnace.
Speaker 1: It's all like a themed restaurant. So I cranked the
Speaker 1: furnace right, and I got like charcoal grills going. I
Speaker 1: got gas girls going, and they ain't cooking any meat.
Speaker 1: You just sheved to this restaurant and you just start sweating.
Speaker 1: It's great, all right. And I do have a two
Speaker 1: jacket minimum entry, okay, regardless, everyone has to have two jackets.
Speaker 1: You come in, you sit down, you're getting moose boosh,
Speaker 1: which is like a little little drink, but that drink
Speaker 1: boiling hot, so don't sip it. You will burn yourself.
Speaker 1: And it gets hotter and hotter as the night goes
Speaker 1: on because I pack more and more people inside. So
Speaker 1: it's great, it's really fun. We're still working on our menu,
Speaker 1: but so far the theme would just like just getting
Speaker 1: hot in there, Nelly, don't come from me. Great. One
Speaker 1: of those ice bars, you know, so it's just the
Speaker 1: park Yeah, I walked by one in Vegas. There was
Speaker 1: a second was that Caesar's And you walk by and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's just one of those ice bars,
Speaker 1: which I've only seen like at that Triple X movie
Speaker 1: with and Diesel Guilty Pleasure Cool, and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is that real? And then they're legit. There was
Speaker 1: one night did that once where we we did these
Speaker 1: little videos called culture Pops is to spend off from
Speaker 1: our podcast where we would like go to locations and
Speaker 1: like check them out and interview people or whatever. China
Speaker 1: shot mag and one of the places was one of
Speaker 1: those ice bars in this downtown. So like one of
Speaker 1: our promo pictures is us wearing those big parkas inside
Speaker 1: this like ice room and stuff. It's bring your own
Speaker 1: parka or they have them hung up. Not a lot
Speaker 1: of books floating around l A. They don't wash them.
Speaker 1: In fact, they don't wah them between everyone. All right,
Speaker 1: let's do a damn show, shall we alight? All of
Speaker 1: our suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our
Speaker 1: Patreon v I p s to become a Patreon supporter
Speaker 1: of the show and enjoy exclusive content and other perks,
Speaker 1: just head on over to Patreon dot com. Slash out
Speaker 1: came you this. If you like to submit a scene
Speaker 1: suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at our
Speaker 1: new email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's email. It's not anymore. I think we want to
Speaker 1: retire that form. The front of the copy. Scene one
Speaker 1: is from Alcolm Niac Mike del Rosso, who wrote, a
Speaker 1: recipient of a new kidney or whatever body part is
Speaker 1: funny to you finds out it was donated from a
Speaker 1: werewolf hidtor um. How's it looking in there? Well, it
Speaker 1: seems like he's got all the I'm looking at it.
Speaker 1: I think we put all the organs in, but there's
Speaker 1: an empty spot here. What look at this? Look at
Speaker 1: this as a little bit you wanted me to come
Speaker 1: into the room. I'm not even I'm not scrubbed. There's
Speaker 1: a monitor in the behind the glass. There's a monitor
Speaker 1: handling the camera at it. You see that there's a
Speaker 1: missing gap here. Okay, So when the truck hit him,
Speaker 1: guts went everywhere, everywhere and all in the plastic bags.
Speaker 1: And we spent like a lot of time putting Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, everything seems to have fit, Like, what's that?
Speaker 1: What's that thing? So yeah, what is that gap? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I don't have a kidney. That's funny. That's
Speaker 1: not funny that that's a serious organ. If you don't
Speaker 1: have kidneys, you're not able to cycle the blood and
Speaker 1: make sure that when it gets to the liver that
Speaker 1: that liver's got clean blood to put the body. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so just put it. Just put a kid You're not
Speaker 1: fun he's fucked. He's fucked. My brother, go lose my chop.
Speaker 1: He's gonna lose his life. Where do we get paying
Speaker 1: student loans for being a get him? Just get him
Speaker 1: a kidney? Then? Yeah, I mean pretty simple bears. You know,
Speaker 1: they come, they ask for a cooler, We just hand
Speaker 1: it over, you know, Yeah, we got it all stad
Speaker 1: In the bag, any kind of organ you can fucking imagine.
Speaker 1: We just got it. It's pretty wild. But thanks for
Speaker 1: the thanks for the heads up about this. Uh about
Speaker 1: the sweet gig bro Oh yeah yeah, well you know,
Speaker 1: we've been drinking for so goddamn along with that bar
Speaker 1: and I just heard you saying he was just looking
Speaker 1: for a new job. I figured out what they'll just
Speaker 1: come on yeah, yeah, between between employment. Yeah, I'll tell
Speaker 1: you this. You're gonna stay here. Yeah, but word of
Speaker 1: the wise, some of these organs here might not be
Speaker 1: uh clopascetic, if you know, changing changing. Hi there, Hi,
Speaker 1: We're gonna walk in, gotta walk in. Are you do
Speaker 1: you have a reservation? Uh? No, I found you guys
Speaker 1: online up reviews. By the way, write that down trip
Speaker 1: triple a organ donation with the first and the other pat.
Speaker 1: I'm in a bit of a bind. Um. I know.
Speaker 1: Typically there's waiting lists for organs if you go to
Speaker 1: standard route. Um. But my brother Scots were splattered all
Speaker 1: over the road recently and put back together. I know,
Speaker 1: Christ was it a truck or Peter Bilt? Oh wow,
Speaker 1: yeah wow, good luck seeing that on the road, and
Speaker 1: yeah they do. Yeah, you know, a good friend of
Speaker 1: mine used to be on the Peter Built factory line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I said, live music playing, Yeah, I said, live music
Speaker 1: all the time, live music in the factory. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a great working That's what I said. I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: So you're still friends with Randall? Uh? I know he
Speaker 1: owes you money, but come on, he's a good man
Speaker 1: man that owes me all right? I hate when that happens. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Is there some urgency? So today's eminem, we're going to
Speaker 1: be covering the death of Mr um John Laquait. Mr
Speaker 1: John Luquait came in after a big truck had crashed
Speaker 1: into him. His guts were full of gravel. Um, you
Speaker 1: say today's eminem? Did she say that she did Marshall today? Seven?
Speaker 1: Now I'm just gonna ask, don't excuse me, what's an eminem?
Speaker 1: The fact that you all work at my hospital and
Speaker 1: don't know what an eminem is makes me really nervous,
Speaker 1: especially knowing that within this particular eminem we have a
Speaker 1: king I know blood. We have a doctor who accepts organs,
Speaker 1: not from you knows, not from this very hospital, but
Speaker 1: from random people on the street who just come in
Speaker 1: with coolers. Sorry, sorry, the guy in bed thirteen. He
Speaker 1: just he gave me this yurine sample, and I have
Speaker 1: no idea what to do with it. Drink it, drink it?
Speaker 1: Can we make don't chogging dot check? I'm getting different
Speaker 1: signals here. Don't close the cap, close the cap. I'll compromise.
Speaker 1: I'll just sip it like a nice ship. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's where I'm at. Um I got, I've got cash,
Speaker 1: and I've got some credit cards and I don't know
Speaker 1: other credit cards complete or they severed and it just
Speaker 1: pieces of no full credit cards, but yeah, not full
Speaker 1: credit on them. But I think we can make a deal.
Speaker 1: That's what I That's what I read in the previews.
Speaker 1: So you need guts, Well, actually I saw that you
Speaker 1: guys have a deal on bag of guts. The problem
Speaker 1: with that grab back situation is if the particular organized
Speaker 1: want is in there, I'm out, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I know that's the look of the draw I get. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I like to donate in organ, but lock me up,
Speaker 1: lock me up? Oh ship, Kenny, you want to handle that?
Speaker 1: Or how do you run? This is my first day,
Speaker 1: O Kenny. Why don't you just take care of the organ,
Speaker 1: all right? And I'll handle the customer. Right, Do we
Speaker 1: have a cell to lock somebody else in the back?
Speaker 1: All right, you'll find it next to the ice chests. Shame.
Speaker 1: We do a radiator whatever, I don't care, just do
Speaker 1: it before the moon comes out? Oh man, well, what
Speaker 1: what time is the moon rise today? I don't always
Speaker 1: the moon is always out? Is that it's always out?
Speaker 1: Do you guys heat this place with a radiator? Or
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah? We do no ship. All the trash
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. We just dump it inside and we
Speaker 1: just let that. Alright, I put I put some of
Speaker 1: the coolers on the radio. Oh god, damn it, that's
Speaker 1: my first day. They're all God, man, bab, I'm so
Speaker 1: tired from work. What do you mean? I see the
Speaker 1: ovens on this, every burner on the stoves on. You
Speaker 1: haven't cooked anything. This stuff has just been on. Well,
Speaker 1: here's just just calmed down. Okay, calmed down. It is
Speaker 1: blood curdling lye cold. Okay. I just haven't been able
Speaker 1: to shake this chill that I got since I was
Speaker 1: bit bit bite. Hold on one second second, there was
Speaker 1: a there's a small dog. Okay, okay, yeah, it bit me.
Speaker 1: I'm but then the dog disappeared. Did you go to
Speaker 1: the hospital. You gotta make sure you're not listening all
Speaker 1: the way, Jessica, the dog disappeared. First of all, Baby's
Speaker 1: the only thing. Like Robert, I asked you to always
Speaker 1: call me Dr Carlyle. Okay, whether we're in the house
Speaker 1: or not. Dr Carlyle. Uh well, the dog, let me
Speaker 1: give me give me one second, Hold on second. You're
Speaker 1: acting so weird. Stop scratching your butt. Okay, okay, So
Speaker 1: I was bit by a small dog. The dog disappeared,
Speaker 1: and the only thing left is our baby. I am
Speaker 1: the craziest chill right now. I know this sounds crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you what I think it is.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jessica. That is insane. Dr Carlile. Sorry, that
Speaker 1: is insane. It was that And that was just the
Speaker 1: morbidity and mortality report at the hospital. And you haven't
Speaker 1: even gotten to the point. When I got home, somebody
Speaker 1: just passed out of the table over there. Someone just
Speaker 1: passed out of the table next to it. You should
Speaker 1: handle her. Listen, I'm off the clock, you know, I
Speaker 1: get that. I want to be called Dr Carlile at
Speaker 1: all times, but I don't want to be doctor Chocolate
Speaker 1: Martini and you want to this is my second. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's someone at the other table keep some kind of
Speaker 1: just writhing. I'm not sure if they need to help
Speaker 1: or not. They're filming at the mouth. If I were,
Speaker 1: it's it's a reality show. I couldn't help. But notice
Speaker 1: that you got an eminem there, Martini and Martini not
Speaker 1: not a morbidity and mental mortality, which, of course everybody
Speaker 1: knows that. Of course, you must be a doctor. You
Speaker 1: must be a doctor. I am a doctor. It's got
Speaker 1: to be your least favorite part of the day to
Speaker 1: have to go through every death that happens in the
Speaker 1: hospital and make sure that we're all on the page.
Speaker 1: It's tough doing an eminem, but if I can relax
Speaker 1: with an eminem afterwards, Yeah, the only way to go
Speaker 1: to go through an eminem is to have some eminem's
Speaker 1: in the in your back pocket. Do you know what
Speaker 1: they're filming? It's a reality show. But that person just
Speaker 1: on the table paths out. I don't know what real
Speaker 1: It must be a prank show. Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's a reality prank show. All right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel good then, So that's uh, that's thirty seven bucks.
Speaker 1: That's eighteen cents, and you're gonna charge my card eighty dollars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're gonna pay the thirteen dollars cash, is that right? Yes?
Speaker 1: And then the rest you're gonna put on card, yes, sir,
Speaker 1: and you want me to split it between the six cards?
Speaker 1: All right? We don't have change per se, but I've
Speaker 1: got I've got some rope linked around the around the
Speaker 1: radiator and just around your your your your mid section there.
Speaker 1: So I think that should hold. Okay, I hope. So
Speaker 1: just get that kidney out of me before it happens. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is my first day, this is my first day.
Speaker 1: I ran, I ran one of your cards today working,
Speaker 1: but so I don't know if you got another one. Well,
Speaker 1: I have another concern. Is he gonna pull a fresh
Speaker 1: kidney right now? Because that I would love the freshest. Well,
Speaker 1: my concern is making sure this card goes through that money.
Speaker 1: If I can get the freshest kidney available, that's what
Speaker 1: I guarantee you every single time. Now, remember, if you
Speaker 1: get the grab bag, you might get a fresh kid
Speaker 1: I know, it's just it's such a gamble. Yeah, it's happening.
Speaker 1: I'm making an incision. I'm making an incision on changing.
Speaker 1: Oh god, god, hyah, yeah, I just processed that card.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, he's right here. Do you want talking? All right?
Speaker 1: I gotta talk to him. I'm bad at this. I'm
Speaker 1: bad at this. I'm not the Hello. Okay, I got
Speaker 1: your left kidney. I got your left kidney. Oh wait
Speaker 1: a minute, this is my left this is your right kidney. Hi, Dr.
Speaker 1: Welcome back. Thank you. I got some good news. Thank god,
Speaker 1: I could use some good news right now. Open this bag.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you. They're doing an eminem right
Speaker 1: now on your brother. You know what, we can probably
Speaker 1: pull this back and fix this right away. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, son? Can I STI still watch from here.
Speaker 1: I can't believe that I have to bring this up.
Speaker 1: But today's eminem actually has to do with way past
Speaker 1: mortality and morbidity. We have doctors digging out mortality morbidity. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: tell me, tell me Dr Dr Lukin that you knew no, no,
Speaker 1: I mean we knew. You're using pranking me? Is this
Speaker 1: a prank show? Are you all pranking me that you
Speaker 1: don't know all of these very important terms in this
Speaker 1: hospital and sorry, what's what's today's mark? And Mindy? I
Speaker 1: came in late today's eminem For those of you have
Speaker 1: issues remembering, it's so easy to just remember those two letters.
Speaker 1: Today's eminem um is actually really disturbing because we do
Speaker 1: have a doctor and l just two letters. Very good,
Speaker 1: and that's our first scene. Everybody all right? Well, our
Speaker 1: next nightmare is from listeners stephen yactually her hey gang,
Speaker 1: long time listener, first time caller. Shout out to my
Speaker 1: favorite person, James. I'm not really funny except my looks.
Speaker 1: Sure a emoji, so I'll get to it. C suggestion.
Speaker 1: After getting his six month h a hash Brown's anonymous coin,
Speaker 1: James has a massive relapse. Thank you for James. Can
Speaker 1: I talk to you for a second just before you
Speaker 1: you head out? Sure? I just want to say you're
Speaker 1: doing such great work here and I really appreciate everything
Speaker 1: that you've brought to it, and everyone in the community
Speaker 1: is really responding to your efforts. So keep it up.
Speaker 1: I know putting away deep fried potatoes for breakfast is difficult,
Speaker 1: but I'm glad you're doing it your arteries. Thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know what if as long as I just
Speaker 1: have cereal for breakfast. It's not even a temptation, James,
Speaker 1: because I started to interrupt. Um, I'm a newcomer here,
Speaker 1: and UM, I know part of the process is to
Speaker 1: find a sponsor. And oh, I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: something you'd be up to, but like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I've just finished sponsoring the previous sponsorship that I had,
Speaker 1: So I think you finished, You're done. Yeah. We do
Speaker 1: it on a time basis. Yeah. We use a breakfast
Speaker 1: calendar and then once that breakfast calendar is complete, then
Speaker 1: we switch up sponsors. So I I've been looking for
Speaker 1: a new sponsorship and I'd love to sponsor you. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, this means so much, because I gotta say
Speaker 1: I have I only have three days clean today. I
Speaker 1: know it's not much, but you know it's a lot
Speaker 1: for me. No, that's huge. The first days the hardiest
Speaker 1: three days. That's tough. But you're gonna get easier, you know.
Speaker 1: Do you mind if we're gonna we're gonna step out.
Speaker 1: I you're gonna come with us, I'll just I'll just
Speaker 1: hang around by if that's all right. Hey, why don't
Speaker 1: we all go to breakfast? Alright, guys, let's just run
Speaker 1: through this the Pasadena Potato Parade starts in like two hours.
Speaker 1: Just want to make sure we have the flow of
Speaker 1: traffic correct. Okay, should we even do it? I mean
Speaker 1: it's just so close, I mean, is everything even ready
Speaker 1: to go? I just feel like we should cancel and
Speaker 1: just push the next year. I'm we have we have
Speaker 1: never canceled a potato parade. I don't need a float.
Speaker 1: I just need a walkway and and and I'll bring
Speaker 1: the fire. Great, great, I guess, don't panic. It always
Speaker 1: goes off without a hitch. Okay, yeah, sure, occasionally maybe
Speaker 1: somebody gets off root and a parade float goes you know,
Speaker 1: m I A, but I was lost that for sixteen hours,
Speaker 1: all right. I didn't know what to do. I had
Speaker 1: to start eating my float. Those potatoes were super glued. Okay, sir, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm I know where time is of the essence here.
Speaker 1: So I'm justs gonna go through the quick list of potatoes.
Speaker 1: We have marching. So we have a gratten okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: we have um frenched, great, perfect, Okay, who frenched? And
Speaker 1: then at this point, um, at this point in the parade,
Speaker 1: So we're gonna have the first French, go second that
Speaker 1: we're gonna have three raw potatoes. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: an ode to like olden days. What about set? Where's Rousset?
Speaker 1: I'm not I haven't finished the list yet. Do you
Speaker 1: say russetto? Yes, three raw potatoes now, sir, before you
Speaker 1: got French? Before I put this running order up, did
Speaker 1: you want to add Hashed this year? Or I know
Speaker 1: last year was a little weird. Well, you know, Lionaise
Speaker 1: had to drop out at the last minute, so I
Speaker 1: think we can go ahead and add hash this year. Yes, sir, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm putting this running on it rup now, thank you
Speaker 1: sir from um can I I'm sorry. Can I clarify?
Speaker 1: Are these people in potato suits are the sentient potatoes marching?
Speaker 1: I like I wish we were centi potatoes. These are?
Speaker 1: These are people? However, we are giving out samples of
Speaker 1: the various preparations of potatoes as the parade goes down.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with potato salad. I'll just thank you
Speaker 1: so much us have a coffee, please, coffee? We got
Speaker 1: a special one hash browns and well you don't want
Speaker 1: any hash browns? Thank you? Okay, anything for you? Coffee? Okay,
Speaker 1: all the time. I'm just here. I'm just I'm just here,
Speaker 1: all right. So for me, it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: Saturday became Sunday, and then Sunday became Monday, and Monday
Speaker 1: became Tuesday, and you know, well, I don't have to
Speaker 1: tell you. The avalanche just happened, you know, it just
Speaker 1: came crashing down, and next thing I knew, it's Thursday night,
Speaker 1: it's Friday afternoon. I mean, really inappropriate times day multi use,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, of course that's why. I mean, some
Speaker 1: people don't have a problem at that. Brown said, I know,
Speaker 1: why are they? Why are they closing street off outside? Why?
Speaker 1: It's the Pasadena Potato Parade. Don't you know? No, I
Speaker 1: didn't ship. Do you think that the biggest parade that
Speaker 1: Pasadena has every year? And that includes the Rose Ball?
Speaker 1: Why are you dressed up like the chess aired cat?
Speaker 1: Yeah that's here. Oh I'm not a sentient cat. I'm
Speaker 1: a person in a church your cats outfit? Do you
Speaker 1: know if they're towing cars outside? Yes, okay, that those
Speaker 1: signs are large and have been up for days. Well,
Speaker 1: we just got here, So what do you tell me?
Speaker 1: You tell me this little pieces of hash Browns in
Speaker 1: the coffee. The how am I supposed to serve that?
Speaker 1: It's well, it's um, you just serve it in the coffee.
Speaker 1: They were like his coffee because and you serve it
Speaker 1: with a smile, and with a smile sucks. This restaurant
Speaker 1: used to mean something, used to be the hottest restaurant past.
Speaker 1: People should come. I know it's not the same since
Speaker 1: your father's gone. I know it's not the same, But
Speaker 1: I can't bring him back to life. They tried at
Speaker 1: the hospital. Won't you trusting else? Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the annual Passadena Potato Parade. I'm sky Dark
Speaker 1: and I'm always joined by my co host Tell him
Speaker 1: your name, Rick Santiago, Rick and Diego and Sky Dark
Speaker 1: come in live from a beautiful day. I'd say it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: Its beautiful potato weather. I think we can all agree
Speaker 1: on that that this is a prime day for potatoes
Speaker 1: marching down a pre approved path. Now let's talk about
Speaker 1: the first second. Maybe some of our viewers don't understand
Speaker 1: what makes good potato weather. Oh boy, well, you know,
Speaker 1: if it's too overcast, the potatoes don't want to come out.
Speaker 1: You know, they don't want to be out there. When
Speaker 1: it's just a little bit of sunshine coming through but
Speaker 1: not too hot, the potatoes blossom and their eyes see
Speaker 1: the world for the first open. Here we go. Look
Speaker 1: at this. We have the little groundings coming through. This
Speaker 1: is a favorite. Every cute, so cute, so cute. Just
Speaker 1: look at them. That's it's such a wonderful sight. Every year,
Speaker 1: every anyway, we're getting international. Here we are about to
Speaker 1: get frenched. Everybody, we're getting fringed. Honestly, how do you
Speaker 1: not know about the Pasadata potato parade? Hoasted by sky
Speaker 1: Dark the one day a year he's not up in
Speaker 1: his helicopter reporting on traffic. I'm just with them, Listen.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting that there's going to be a parade outside. Um,
Speaker 1: but maybe we should. Well, you're in for a tree
Speaker 1: because it's the best parade of the year, and you've
Speaker 1: got the catbird seat. Okay, Well that's uh, that's I
Speaker 1: guess I could just say that because I'm dressed as
Speaker 1: a James. Why don't we just stay well, I feel
Speaker 1: I'm pretty confident that I'm not in trouble, but I
Speaker 1: worry about you. Three days I think I'm with you,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm getting strength and he's here.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's in this coffee? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Well what is it? How do you taste delicious? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, No, don't stop drinking that coffee. Stop drinking
Speaker 1: that coffee. What is this waiter? We should we should
Speaker 1: do something to bring them back. I know there's rituals,
Speaker 1: all right, there are books. There are books we can
Speaker 1: use to bring him back. Or excuse me, YouTube, excuse
Speaker 1: me YouTube. There's there's something in my coffee, and I
Speaker 1: need to confirm what it is. It's hash Brown's asshole,
Speaker 1: all right, that's family secret, my ass My father ran
Speaker 1: this place. I read it with their father. Oh sky,
Speaker 1: here they come, the bad boys of the Potato Parade,
Speaker 1: Hash Browns what they want, and they're over here, over here,
Speaker 1: hashbrow ass Browns. Fuck you Jesus. They are mean, but
Speaker 1: they're cute about it. Wait, it seems like they're tossing
Speaker 1: Hashbrowns into the audience. People are just in their mouths
Speaker 1: and letting the Hashbron's fall right in lucky spectators smothered covered.
Speaker 1: Chuck James, what are you? What are you doing? You
Speaker 1: look like you're control. I'm out of control. You look
Speaker 1: like you well, you know what it is. It's gonna
Speaker 1: sound crazy, but inside of our coffee, it was a
Speaker 1: little bits of hashbrown. It's kind of like they used
Speaker 1: to do chickory wooden coffee. I don't believe that. I
Speaker 1: don't believe that for a second. And you're scaring me,
Speaker 1: and now I feel uneasy. And look right now, it's
Speaker 1: the hashbrown portion of the parade and they're throwing out samples.
Speaker 1: This is great news. It's what you call it cheat day.
Speaker 1: Let's get out there. What those exist? Yeah? Yeah, if
Speaker 1: somebody accidentally slips you some hash browns from your coffee,
Speaker 1: you call it it. God damn cheat day. All right, guy,
Speaker 1: it looks like one spectator is taking it a little overboard.
Speaker 1: He's grabbing every single hashbrod you can see, and he's
Speaker 1: always attacking the people. My kidney kid so you your backslid,
Speaker 1: um and that's why you're you're at my door at
Speaker 1: three am? Yeah? Yeah, we've all been there? Have we
Speaker 1: have you? Have you I ate a man's kidney that
Speaker 1: I thought was hashbro? Have we all been here? I've
Speaker 1: never been there, But that's that's bad. That's bad. Do
Speaker 1: I have to give my potato chips in Yeah, he'll
Speaker 1: your your potato chips get wiped clean. But you started
Speaker 1: one day at a time, One day at a time.
Speaker 1: Can you promise not to have hash Browns tomorrow? Well tomorrow, sure, Gregory,
Speaker 1: it's me, your father summoning me from the dead worked.
Speaker 1: I'm here now to take my responsibilities as the head
Speaker 1: restaurant tour of this breakfast establishment. Are you happy to
Speaker 1: see me? Or oh you think this is a dream.
Speaker 1: You seem to be sleeping. Why don't I do something
Speaker 1: to let you know I'm here? Why don't I tickle
Speaker 1: tickle tickle taco tickle tickle kill you? You're dead? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what's gonna Is this a dream? Come? No,
Speaker 1: it's real life? Am I dead? That scene three is
Speaker 1: from Alchemy the TiVo callio who wrote hello again, dear
Speaker 1: I in prov evaculates, thank you for the continuous efforts
Speaker 1: to keep the finest podcasts of them all alive and well.
Speaker 1: Chicken his Church and other Goldie's with hugs. Here's another
Speaker 1: scene suggestion, a very disappointing pirate treasure have fun and
Speaker 1: for good a sake semin us of some love for
Speaker 1: me as well vot of Finland. Excuse me, I think
Speaker 1: that's our vessel. I think that's excuse me, um, Captain,
Speaker 1: Captain Sherbert. Captain Sherbert, is that correct, Captain Sherburn? Quick? Great, okay,
Speaker 1: lets get or something. Yes, gentlemen, you can bring the
Speaker 1: stuff on here. Okay, this is about a lot of
Speaker 1: these are a lot of shoecases you have for a
Speaker 1: journey amongst your she Yes, well, we're, as you know,
Speaker 1: we're looking for a lost treasure. I mean, he's got
Speaker 1: to be prepared. You've got to have every outfit for
Speaker 1: every day, just in case. I'm not sure you know
Speaker 1: how a treasure hunt goes. Do you have a treasure map?
Speaker 1: Of course? Captain is alright, alright, let's see it. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is enjarted territory. Oh I've never been to an
Speaker 1: island over here. I don't. Well, I will say it
Speaker 1: is charted. There is a map. So just like than
Speaker 1: that someone charted for me, uncharted for me. Where should
Speaker 1: I put your scuba gear? Sir? Put it up? Put
Speaker 1: it up by the steering wheel or something that's fine.
Speaker 1: Steering wheel. I'd be needing to use the steering wheel
Speaker 1: and have full movements around it. Put it in the
Speaker 1: lower deck. Put it the lower deck. No, you too,
Speaker 1: seem a little fancy. It looks like Sherbet's about to
Speaker 1: hit the seas again. What say we follow them in
Speaker 1: our skiff and see what he's about. I thought we
Speaker 1: were going to have a Sunday. You know I don't
Speaker 1: like sundays. You won't let me watch football. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, can we have fun when we do it?
Speaker 1: Of course we can. It will be just like old times,
Speaker 1: you and your brothers and me crow in it up.
Speaker 1: That's not what I meant by fung. But okay, I'll
Speaker 1: grab my brothers and we'll crew it up. Johnny Steve Nickel. Ah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go. We're gonna We're gonna do it like
Speaker 1: old times. We're gonna follow Sherbet's boat. But it's a Sunday.
Speaker 1: I don't come on, Nickel. It's all right, boys, we
Speaker 1: can do this. Let's just push our ther game face.
Speaker 1: Let's get all the ship and see what sherbets a vote. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, He's been bringing a lot of things, and
Speaker 1: then it's just to show the boat. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: hot for us to get this. I don't know understands me.
Speaker 1: Then you need to listening close. Alright, Where should I
Speaker 1: put the protective shot? Because I want to put by
Speaker 1: the steering wheel? Okay, I've never needed to protect give
Speaker 1: shot cave when you go down cage. When you fight
Speaker 1: the sharks, you gotta do it. Fish to fish. They
Speaker 1: have fished. Well, No, that's why you have an advantage. Oh,
Speaker 1: when you pack for a shark cage, you're basically planning
Speaker 1: to lose the fight. Oh. I don't plan on having
Speaker 1: a caged fight with a shark. I I plan on
Speaker 1: caging myself away from the sharks. But honey, honey, I
Speaker 1: think we should listen to the captain. Okay, a captain,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to be chartering this boat. And you've
Speaker 1: brought a fine map to me, sir. It looks like
Speaker 1: you've brought three boxes of vinyl. Yes, lindsay, we did.
Speaker 1: Can you put those by the sto and lindsay, do
Speaker 1: you mind tossing the cage? Just toss the cage out?
Speaker 1: Toss the cage. This is a treasure hunt. We need
Speaker 1: to have the bare minimum of things with us. And
Speaker 1: they sailed for three days and landed on the spot
Speaker 1: and there it is. We're gonna need to go back.
Speaker 1: We're gonna need to go back. I forgot I forgot something.
Speaker 1: We're gonna need to go back. I can't forget. I
Speaker 1: had a special little camera I got it was supposed
Speaker 1: to take a photo of me and my baby, and
Speaker 1: we got it. I just can't get the treasure until
Speaker 1: we get that guy. I just need to underwater. Was
Speaker 1: an underwater just it just we I spare you telling
Speaker 1: me you forgot yourself an action camera for the trip.
Speaker 1: You're gonna when we did this treasure up, You're gonna
Speaker 1: be able to buy hundreds of cameras. It's just really
Speaker 1: not a money thing for us. Yea, what if we
Speaker 1: send Lindsay back and what a dingy boats. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna send Lindsay out there, because if if I don't
Speaker 1: have an eye on him, then we might steal our stuff.
Speaker 1: They're turning around. Should we follow or should we go
Speaker 1: ashore and try to see whatever it was they were
Speaker 1: trying to find. Let's go ashore and have an actual sunday. Alright.
Speaker 1: I did bring a picnic and a football to throw around.
Speaker 1: Yes you hear that, nickel and they sailed back home.
Speaker 1: But of course it was Wednesday, because it was three
Speaker 1: days after they had left on a Sunday. Okay, now
Speaker 1: where did I put it? Just? Oh my god, oh
Speaker 1: my god, it was on the boat the whole time.
Speaker 1: Don't you use that word? Hasn't it? Terribly started to interrupt.
Speaker 1: I'm looking through the vinyl, and apparently you only have
Speaker 1: the you only have the studio version of Rock and
Speaker 1: Roll All Night and not the more familiar live version
Speaker 1: from Kiss a Lot in. That should be fine. No, no,
Speaker 1: it's it's completely unacceptable. Well, we'll have to return to Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to this some bark. Why don't you
Speaker 1: just park it here, let it idle. I guess I'll
Speaker 1: go get the treasure with your map, and I'll bring
Speaker 1: it back and we'll still split it area. Do you
Speaker 1: think we're actually let you take our treasure? Just I
Speaker 1: just we we can work together. Why are you putting
Speaker 1: on your scooba gear? I thought we were going to
Speaker 1: toss the ball around. You're gonna go exploring? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: figured i'd go see what this is all about without
Speaker 1: a shark cage, you know, just me out on the water.
Speaker 1: You want all right, Yeah, let's go Nickel. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: the way, what are you guys gonna do? Kind of tired?
Speaker 1: How might take a little nap. I'm gonna take a
Speaker 1: nap to we want to treat it like And they napped,
Speaker 1: and they napped and napped for three days, and then
Speaker 1: another day and it was Sunday again and on the
Speaker 1: third down they got to convert this or the Bears
Speaker 1: are gonna have to just forfeit this game. They're not
Speaker 1: gonna be able to make it. I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: a shame. We were seeing that a lot. We've never
Speaker 1: seen a forfeit in uh seventy five years of the NFL.
Speaker 1: Said this would be devastating for the Bear I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, what a what a blemish on the franchise.
Speaker 1: And you know, all right, dad, TV's off, but there's
Speaker 1: about to be a forfeit. I've never seen that, so
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that. I know you didn't believe me,
Speaker 1: but I saw something shiny when we were down there,
Speaker 1: all right. I really wanted to see what happens if
Speaker 1: Mitchell Trabinsky throws a ship fit. But we can go down, okay,
Speaker 1: let's oh god, damn it. It looks like somebody's beat
Speaker 1: us to shore. Yeah, look through my telescope. Okay, and
Speaker 1: where am I looking? Look at the shore and there's
Speaker 1: a boat and there's people watching TV. Okay, I know
Speaker 1: who that ish. That's a rival. I guess I can see.
Speaker 1: I can just look without the telescope. Try the telescope.
Speaker 1: It looks much closer. Hold on to lindsay yes, do
Speaker 1: you have those like a hyper my upper classes bringing
Speaker 1: my upper classes? I have the hype of binoculars and
Speaker 1: the opera glass both or do you have a third
Speaker 1: pair that I could see? Oh? We got its, son,
Speaker 1: We've got it a shiny chest. Indeed, I can't believe
Speaker 1: what a day for Captain Roger Arrival and his family.
Speaker 1: Let's open it up. We look look at look in
Speaker 1: the water out to see look that way. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: Captain Sherbert's boat. He's back. Well, you better open this
Speaker 1: before he gets here and tries to claim it for himself. Okay, okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a it's a master lock
Speaker 1: spin combination. Ah. Must not be very old then, or
Speaker 1: they're pointing at Roy Rivals as pointing as he sees us.
Speaker 1: Now we've got to put your hands and look at this.
Speaker 1: So if we if we just adjust this centerpiece right here,
Speaker 1: you can actually turn the binoculars to thermal. Isn't that
Speaker 1: don't need that? We need to get to short or Nickel.
Speaker 1: Nickel came here. We need your strength. Oh what do
Speaker 1: you strength for? Yank this lock? Do you want me
Speaker 1: to yank the chain? Okay? Hey, hey, yank the chain? Oh, yank,
Speaker 1: yank the chain? Amongst you disturbs my treasure hid. The
Speaker 1: master lock talks only the worthy self. Spin the dials,
Speaker 1: take a turn. Let's take a turn. Let's see if
Speaker 1: I'm worthy. Okay, hello, Mr Master Lock, I'm gonna try it.
Speaker 1: Ain't twelve to the left right? That worked, that's but
Speaker 1: your doubt locked the lock. If only you were sure
Speaker 1: of your shifry. Come on get it, son, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: really sure myself. What was the numbers that he said?
Speaker 1: You down? The number? You over here? Davy? Come on sleeping? Okay,
Speaker 1: and you want to give it a shot, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll give it a shot. But if I don't get this,
Speaker 1: the bears have to forfeit. Twelve. You have unlocked the lock.
Speaker 1: You are worthy, enjoy the treasure. Whoa, there you go?
Speaker 1: Shall we do this together. Wait, hold on, Captain Sherber,
Speaker 1: back up, back up. We found this thing fair and square.
Speaker 1: He didn't find it fair and square. You followed me
Speaker 1: and then I had to turn it on to get
Speaker 1: an action camera. Get back from me. Treasure Who are
Speaker 1: these two? Three? These with these three? It's their treasure
Speaker 1: map that I followed, and are splitting it? Also, who
Speaker 1: are you all? Yeah? Yeah, and I'm were the rivals
Speaker 1: were Mr and Mrs Thornburn. Look, I'm sure there's plenty
Speaker 1: of treasure for everyone. We'll just split it. Money is
Speaker 1: not an issue for us. I just want that to sir, sir,
Speaker 1: that the treasure case is full of vintage viny Oh
Speaker 1: my god, already have so much of Hirosa Pablo Crew good. No,
Speaker 1: this is not this is mostly like it's all right,
Speaker 1: Oh but it's a bad album. You want to breast
Speaker 1: whip cream album that everyone has. But there's a scratch
Speaker 1: on Okay, sty Dark calling the game today, Bears game,
Speaker 1: Oh my god calling it. I'm gonna watch because I
Speaker 1: watched commentators. Yeah, we actually invest in the Bears, were
Speaker 1: actually shareholders and the Bears and sky Dark. We also
Speaker 1: invest in Skydark as well. He's got the best view
Speaker 1: of the stadium from wait a check it, Hey, Roy Rivals,
Speaker 1: how would you feel about switching around and being a
Speaker 1: pirate with me? These two's got a lot of money
Speaker 1: and we could just take it. You me your boys
Speaker 1: out to sea like a famiary ha ha. Raise the
Speaker 1: jolly around your because we're in business. Well, we don't
Speaker 1: have cash on us. A lot of it's just in access.
Speaker 1: It's lipid assets, but assets on the last, you do
Speaker 1: have a lot of investments. I'm gonna put Tom Bachman
Speaker 1: Turner over drive and Thin Lizzy's the boys are back
Speaker 1: in town just to get us good? Is that two albums?
Speaker 1: Sky Devastation Here at a soldier field as the Bears
Speaker 1: are being ripped apart by their own fans after forfeiting.
Speaker 1: Uh they are, they are athletes and the priv of
Speaker 1: their career, but there are no match for forty thousand
Speaker 1: agric people. Were just were just killing them. We learned
Speaker 1: a lot, We learned a lot. Let's see what everybody's
Speaker 1: up to. James Heeney, Well, my heart's finally backed down
Speaker 1: to a normal rate after thinking that my dog was
Speaker 1: gone forever. I was a little distracting Um, that's about
Speaker 1: all I have to say about that. Thanks for having
Speaker 1: me again. You never have to say that. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm with James here. I was impressed by
Speaker 1: his his outfit change because it's just so crazy that
Speaker 1: something so scary was happening for him, yet he had
Speaker 1: to wherewithal to grab a tract. Well, I grabbed the jacket. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: I grabbed the jacket so the adrenaline didn't eat you up.
Speaker 1: You were still cold. I was well. I had spilled,
Speaker 1: I had spilled upon myself, so I had to play
Speaker 1: with you. Thank you for having me, of course, Jackie
Speaker 1: and Zale. Oh hey, Cole Well, I love I love
Speaker 1: my time here. Thank you for having me. Um, and
Speaker 1: tis the season. Tis the season to listen to the
Speaker 1: most wonderful part of the year. Let's watch some Christmas movies.
Speaker 1: Let's get in the mood. Uh feeling great, warm and fuzzy, holly, jolly,
Speaker 1: nice Craik Kikowski. Thanks call. I meant to mention before
Speaker 1: about Mike Nesmith that part of the reason he was
Speaker 1: so over it with the monkeys was his family was
Speaker 1: already wealthy because his mother invented liquid paper. That's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's a fun tide right there. I can't hear him Cole,
Speaker 1: it's stunned by the revolution. Joey Greer. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I think this is important to say because I don't
Speaker 1: I don't hear it enough, but I know it's in
Speaker 1: our hearts. And that's if you're gonna find an egg.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna look for an egg when you're opening
Speaker 1: that cart and you've seen it, he said, are all
Speaker 1: the eggs intact or any of them cracked? When you're
Speaker 1: opening it, say a little something sweet because I bet
Speaker 1: that makes a difference. So when you crack that case over,
Speaker 1: just go, you know whatever, but something whatever, whatever you
Speaker 1: want to say. You know it's not coming to me,
Speaker 1: but just something sweet, and I think I think it
Speaker 1: will make all the difference. You're welcome. That's uh, not
Speaker 1: quite a liquid paper tidbit, but it's it's nice. Nonetheless,
Speaker 1: I'm at Cole Stratton or at Stratton Cole, whatever the
Speaker 1: social is. Go to ask the sketch Fest dot com.
Speaker 1: Our lineup is coming out in November. Uh there will
Speaker 1: be at least three shows, so come check it out.
Speaker 1: Um let's thank our engineering producer Doug Babe and the
Speaker 1: fine folks at i heeart media dot com. Please write
Speaker 1: to us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Our old demail address Alchemy this email until next time