Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of ELK I mean this
Speaker 1: signer guests pull stride in for KP for just a
Speaker 1: little bit longer, hanging there, everybody, Let's meet everybody today,
Speaker 1: shall we? First up, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, if you
Speaker 1: could have given yourself a nickname when you're younger, what
Speaker 1: is it? Then? Is? I know you're supposed to be
Speaker 1: given them, but if you could choose it well, ones
Speaker 1: that I had with Taz Crass and see Murder? Is
Speaker 1: that for child murder? One that would give myself would
Speaker 1: have been probably see Murder? So do you please please do?
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna imagine it's s e a murder like
Speaker 1: you kill nice. Next up, Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthie, Hello, Jackie.
Speaker 1: Is there like a word that is really tough for
Speaker 1: you to say or pronounced? I know that like I
Speaker 1: for some reason, I get hung up on bagel because
Speaker 1: I said bagel as a kid growing up, so I
Speaker 1: held up on Is there anything like that for you? Um?
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if there's one word word that gets
Speaker 1: me every time, but I certainly struggle with words, at
Speaker 1: least one word on the daily, especially if I'm tired. Um,
Speaker 1: if I'm tired, it really takes me a long time
Speaker 1: to to get U words out sometimes. And I used
Speaker 1: to work at a deli super early in the morning,
Speaker 1: and I remember like sometimes, I mean, it would just
Speaker 1: take me so long, and then they wouldn't tip me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, well, clearly I'm having some issues,
Speaker 1: Like I can't believe you're not even tipping me. I'm
Speaker 1: having a rough day. I can't even say bagel or
Speaker 1: whatever it was that they were ordering. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: say different words every day, and per sand is a
Speaker 1: weird one and I don't know that's how I say it?
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah, then I'm fine with that one.
Speaker 1: Who you nailed apers And like anyone that I'm good at,
Speaker 1: there is next up. It's James he Need he need.
Speaker 1: Did you ever hurt yourself bad when you're a kid,
Speaker 1: And if so, what happened? I hurt myself a handful
Speaker 1: of times. I cracked my head open when I was
Speaker 1: probably I don't really remember. Maybe it was the last
Speaker 1: day of Christmas vacation or holiday vacation. It was vacation
Speaker 1: and we were doing like Winter Olympics in our house,
Speaker 1: so we had moved the couch to the middle and
Speaker 1: I would run and we do cartwheels over the couch.
Speaker 1: But one of those times I hit like there was
Speaker 1: like a table and just split my head open, and
Speaker 1: like everything seemed to get I didn't pass out, but
Speaker 1: everything got really dark and we were trying to like
Speaker 1: hide it, like like you know, we're probably we're probably
Speaker 1: not supposed to be doing cart wheels over this. I was.
Speaker 1: I was a latchkey kid. My parents both worked and
Speaker 1: like we were left home to our own devices. But
Speaker 1: I got stitches. Was fine, Well that's good at like,
Speaker 1: and there's been no damn. Oh, I don't think next
Speaker 1: time it's Craig Gikowski. Craig, you're a big movie guy.
Speaker 1: We talked about this many times. But what genre of
Speaker 1: film is your least favorite? What doesn't work for you?
Speaker 1: Because well, I'm gonna go comedy. Comedy is my least favorite,
Speaker 1: just because I have high high, high comedic standards and
Speaker 1: most film comedy is low low. Uh So, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't see much comedy. I haven't seen many classic comedies
Speaker 1: just because you know, I had to look up when
Speaker 1: we had that episode where where people who only spoken
Speaker 1: movie quotes uh, and we had to finish each other's
Speaker 1: You started one cold. I had no idea what it was,
Speaker 1: and it was from I had to look it up
Speaker 1: as from Dumb and Dumber, which I've never seen, Oh Samson.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I think that one. I will never see it.
Speaker 1: I will never see it, and it's pretty funny. I
Speaker 1: think I'm not a huge fan of scatological humor, which
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff falls into and the moments of that,
Speaker 1: but there's actually some pretty brilliant comedic moments in that movie.
Speaker 1: You know it's not funny, Jim Carrey, Come on, do
Speaker 1: you have a favorite comedy movie, like one or one
Speaker 1: that you really like and think is good. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not your favorite, but you're like, this one's funny to me.
Speaker 1: M m, you know what, you know what? I love
Speaker 1: that Barb and Star. I had no want, I had
Speaker 1: no desire to watch it, and holy shit, that was shown.
Speaker 1: Carlo wasted twenty on that pretty well, I guess. I
Speaker 1: guess Dumber and Dumber. I think it's favorite. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: did like that when they're at the gas station, that
Speaker 1: dog marker. I thought that was great. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: That was a funny movie. That was Jim Carrey. Jim
Speaker 1: Carrey is pretty funny. Obviously you haven't seen The Majestic
Speaker 1: or Mr. Penguins. I mean some penguin work in that
Speaker 1: movie by the effects department. Pretty great. Last, but not least,
Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer. Joey, I've heard you've got a hot
Speaker 1: new stock tip. What is it? What do we need
Speaker 1: to be investing in? All right? Look, legally I'm not
Speaker 1: allowed to actually say what stock to invest or not
Speaker 1: invest in? Okay, I have to say that. Legally, I
Speaker 1: also have to say I'm not a legal stock trader,
Speaker 1: so my advice comes from an amateur speculative point of view. Okay,
Speaker 1: we all stop. Saw what happened that Robin Hood guy?
Speaker 1: What's his name? I forgot his name is something cats
Speaker 1: or whatever? Whether they do the reditor, who's doing? Am
Speaker 1: I the only one who's like, no idea? You know what? Yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: this is I'm a money cat run through. I can't
Speaker 1: get enough of it. I swim in it, I live
Speaker 1: in it, I dive in it. Okay, It's just what
Speaker 1: I'm about. And right now, if you want to get
Speaker 1: on the hottest stock, this is something I can't say
Speaker 1: legally get out of the stock market. Liquid everything you
Speaker 1: can right now, because the stock market A'm gonna be there, honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: what you really need to get to is the soupermarket. Alright,
Speaker 1: go down if you're in downtown l A. If you
Speaker 1: go down to Fourth Street and Broadway, there's just dope,
Speaker 1: dope food spot alright now, if you can take all
Speaker 1: the money you're taken out of your stock We're stopping
Speaker 1: this right now. We have a big show to do.
Speaker 1: But great advice, definitely, guys. I'm just gonna invest in Campbell's.
Speaker 1: I think that's the long that's the safe. That's the safe,
Speaker 1: that's the safe supermarket. Let's do a damn show, Shelly.
Speaker 1: All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,
Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I p s to become
Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content
Speaker 1: and other perks, just handing over to Patreon dot com
Speaker 1: slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a scene
Speaker 1: suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at our
Speaker 1: email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's
Speaker 1: see one is from Alchemniac Mike del Rosso, who wrote lampsters.
Speaker 1: A hamster powered lamp this year's must have gift for
Speaker 1: the holidays. Oh my god, honey, the hamsters inside the
Speaker 1: gift died. I don't think this lamp is gonna work
Speaker 1: when we give it to Timmy. Oh oh gosh. Um, well,
Speaker 1: he doesn't need to necessarily know that that's what the
Speaker 1: hamsters are there for to light it up. It could
Speaker 1: just be a home for the hamsters. The hamsters. So
Speaker 1: we just got of a home for a hamster. Get
Speaker 1: your coat on. We've got to go get hamsters. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you think Timmy will sleep through the night? Er? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can probably leave him here, Yeah, we can probably
Speaker 1: from here. Okay, he always leaves through the night. Good.
Speaker 1: I'm just go ahead. Are used here to try to
Speaker 1: get hamsters? Get in line. There's a Black Friday Land
Speaker 1: out there. It's the hot new item. Where are gonna
Speaker 1: run out? You're gonna have to rush the doors with
Speaker 1: everybody else. Get in the line. Will they be living
Speaker 1: when we get in because I'm not gonna wait in
Speaker 1: this line unless they're living. They will be. But if
Speaker 1: you guys rush too hard, they might not be. So
Speaker 1: you know, listen, maybe you can understand, we've got like
Speaker 1: fifty percent of our gift for our child, and we
Speaker 1: need to get the other part of the first half
Speaker 1: doesn't even matter. So if you would let us go
Speaker 1: in front of you, were one step closer to those
Speaker 1: sweet sweet hamsters. You think this is the first hamster
Speaker 1: sobs story I've heard today. Every single person in this
Speaker 1: line has the reason why they need to get in there.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, sir, why do you need to get in here?
Speaker 1: Oh god, alright, it's fine, it's fine, all right, we'll
Speaker 1: wait patiently. Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad, chicken in the bad Mom, Dad,
Speaker 1: They're gone. Yes, my wish came true. Santa granted me
Speaker 1: my wish. Oh my god. I called Charlie. Okay, oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh my dad, come one. Hello, Hello, Sorry,
Speaker 1: I barely got to my wookie phone. What's going on, Charlie.
Speaker 1: It happened. It happened, my wish. It came true. My
Speaker 1: parents are fucking dead. Oh my hush. Hey, hey, folks,
Speaker 1: I noticed you're in the back of the line here
Speaker 1: that I'm in. The Odds of you getting the hamster
Speaker 1: tonight are pretty pretty slim, Is that true? But let
Speaker 1: me guess you bought you bought lampsters for your kid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, it happens a lot. You know, they ship
Speaker 1: them out live, but you know, it takes a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks, you know. And it said it was supposed
Speaker 1: to be delivered almost a week earlier, and then of
Speaker 1: course they're dead post office. Post Office lost it's funding
Speaker 1: and so a lot of hamsters are dead in the mail.
Speaker 1: Let's not get political about this. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: keep my head in the game and get some hamsters.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, hey, hey, if you want to make your
Speaker 1: kid happy this uh this Christmas? Uh, have you considered
Speaker 1: Gebel's gerbil Lege. I don't know. With the cold Joey
Speaker 1: Gebel's make make from from the commercial, that's right, you
Speaker 1: like way different without all that makeup on. They put
Speaker 1: on a lot of makeup for those com personals, Like
Speaker 1: it's practically cloud face what I'm wearing for that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And first of all, I want to make clear that
Speaker 1: Gebel's gerbil Light is not a knockoff of lampsters. We
Speaker 1: were there first, Well could we put your gebled Gerbils
Speaker 1: inside of our hamster lampster? That was my question? Is
Speaker 1: it compatible? Compatible? Can Gerbils create the same amount of
Speaker 1: power the hamsters do in order to power the lamp,
Speaker 1: and I'm here to say, yes, they can't. Oh thank god,
Speaker 1: did you get them? Did you get the did you
Speaker 1: get the hamsters? I was. I was too like, you
Speaker 1: gotta come back. We didn't. I just want to play.
Speaker 1: You want to play, you play me for a little bit.
Speaker 1: I was like, welcome, everybody, Come on in, Come on in.
Speaker 1: This is what's known as a rager. Now officially, you
Speaker 1: have hit rage or capacity. Do whatever you want in
Speaker 1: the house. I own it now. Anything you need, anything
Speaker 1: you want, I'm here to help. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: drink Hershey's straight out of the bottle. You guys have that?
Speaker 1: Come here, my man, Come here, we land up a
Speaker 1: couple of shot glasses. Here, anybody else, anybody else? Can
Speaker 1: we see their bodies? That's the things cheers? Cheers? The
Speaker 1: thing is, oh, bitch, The thing is, I don't know
Speaker 1: where they are. I think God just took their souls
Speaker 1: and their bodies when I prayed for them to die. Well,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. Hey, you guys ever, you guys ever go
Speaker 1: into an adult bathroom, it's pretty fucking crazy. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not allowed in my parents. Best, bring everybody, everybody, We're
Speaker 1: gonna do a tour of my parents bathroom. No one
Speaker 1: seems as excited. I'm stoked. Let's see what's in there. Thanks, alright,
Speaker 1: come on, come on, come over here in their bedroom.
Speaker 1: They have a bath room in her bedroom. It's called
Speaker 1: in sweet whoa isn't her sinks? Go ahead, do whatever
Speaker 1: you want and smells different in here? Huh one sink
Speaker 1: and that's why they're divorced. Now, what's jack jack foozy tub?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but oh that like bubbles and has jets.
Speaker 1: Hear me out? What if he filled it up and
Speaker 1: jumped in? Yeah, Joey, what's going on so late? What
Speaker 1: do you mean you gotta open the shop back up?
Speaker 1: Come on? Can I just do it in the morning
Speaker 1: or something? I gotta get all these gerbils out right now,
Speaker 1: come on, let me just yeah, yeah, hey, we made
Speaker 1: a sale. We made a sale. Oh my god, let's
Speaker 1: just call it quitch man. That amster lambster's really just
Speaker 1: taken over. No, no, it's not, it's not. We were
Speaker 1: there first. We were there first, that this nice couple
Speaker 1: would like, uh, what do we what do we think?
Speaker 1: What do we think five Gerbil keep it powered because hamsters,
Speaker 1: you know, that will create a little more power per
Speaker 1: per rodent. Okay, because we did have three hamsters, originally three,
Speaker 1: and these are going to fit in the hamster lambster
Speaker 1: we already have, right, we don't got to get a
Speaker 1: new Did you bring the lambster with you? No? Okay,
Speaker 1: but um, I remember the size and I can kind
Speaker 1: of mind it to you. Gerbils are a little leaner,
Speaker 1: a little leaner and longer in hamsters, So I think,
Speaker 1: you know, I think the tubes they will fit in
Speaker 1: the same tubes. If they're not compatible, bring it back
Speaker 1: for a full for a full extreme. It's too late
Speaker 1: to bring it back. It's Christmas Eve, It's Christmas Black Friday,
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. All right, we're gonna do spin the bottle
Speaker 1: with my dad's forty four magnum, So everybody sit down,
Speaker 1: sit down, not a bottle. Look. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you it is, Theresa, but you've been correcting everybody all night. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: it's almost like ever since I got a twelve eighty
Speaker 1: on the s A T s UM, I'm freaking feeling myself.
Speaker 1: You're in fifth grade. That's good. That's amazing. I give
Speaker 1: him a shot, you know, because what's the standardized test
Speaker 1: if not a way to test myself. And in the moment,
Speaker 1: you can keep doing all of this talking, or you
Speaker 1: can start doing some kissing because the gun barrels pointing
Speaker 1: at you. Okay, So that's okay, great, So who's who's
Speaker 1: spun it? Who spun it? I didn't spin it? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I guess I'm kissing myself. Okay, Okay, guys watched this?
Speaker 1: Is it? How smart I am? I can figure this
Speaker 1: one out. Don't worry, don't worry. Okay. So if I
Speaker 1: divide myself into two, that's what I do. Not to
Speaker 1: correct you, but I usually put my fist in the
Speaker 1: shape of the face, and the thumb becomes the mouth,
Speaker 1: and I kiss. I kiss my hand where the thumb
Speaker 1: and my knuckles meat, and it's like lips. It's just
Speaker 1: like lips. Why don't we all do that make out session?
Speaker 1: Spend the bottle in Russian Roulette? What's Russian? Well one,
Speaker 1: I got you? Okay. So these uh, these chervils in
Speaker 1: the bag, they're going to be fine. It seems like
Speaker 1: this bag is pretty tight. Yeah, yeah, that's an air
Speaker 1: tight bag. No way, no, no where that How long?
Speaker 1: How long to travel to get home? It's not that long.
Speaker 1: What do you say? It's late at nights, no traffic, traffic,
Speaker 1: but Rold's dead. I wish this. Okay, guys, I know
Speaker 1: exactly what you do. We choppled up into the smallest
Speaker 1: pieces possible, wide and large throughout the city. That way,
Speaker 1: no one is implemented. Chen, let me kitchen, Grab knives,
Speaker 1: grab whatever you can became. It was a pretty U
Speaker 1: s A t that I took. I'm not sure that
Speaker 1: it was the official one, but I learned a lot. Okay, everybody,
Speaker 1: grab a knife? Do you have a knife? Oh? Whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: We've got a change of plans here else, we've got well,
Speaker 1: one of our guys, Sammy Lemon tight he's he went
Speaker 1: from nice to naughty. Oh no, and he went from
Speaker 1: naughty to naughty here literally he had the audacity to
Speaker 1: pray to me as if I was God, So already
Speaker 1: we're in some kind of naughty's own religiously her heresy.
Speaker 1: Or then then he prayed for he wished for his
Speaker 1: parents to be dead. Whoa, it's very naughty. Little Darryl
Speaker 1: Thompson just disappeared from the list. What happened to Well,
Speaker 1: you better believe that Sammy Lemon tight shot him in
Speaker 1: the face a human name, because it sounds like an
Speaker 1: elf name is Elforn. He sounded elf borne. Whoa, maybe
Speaker 1: this is he must be sacrificed. Al Right, guys, everybody
Speaker 1: line up for some more Hershey shots. I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of everybody. We really put our minds together, chopped that
Speaker 1: body up, spread them all around the garden and the yard,
Speaker 1: and there's no sign up there all anymore. So raise
Speaker 1: a glass. I don't feel good. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it was the first shot of Hershey's or dismembering her friend.
Speaker 1: I don't feel good because if yeah, I listened to
Speaker 1: my plan. It was to spread out the body parts
Speaker 1: throughout the city so that you're not in any kind
Speaker 1: of suspicion. But it's all in your personal yard. I
Speaker 1: think you're gonna get you own this house now. So
Speaker 1: and you shot him in Roulette. That's not the routes, yo, Sammy, Sammy,
Speaker 1: there's the lights in your driveway. Maybe it's Anna, maybe
Speaker 1: in Santa Everybody. I hope he's still asleep. That's sweet,
Speaker 1: little precious baby. Are doing, neighbors, How are you keep
Speaker 1: it down? Now? You walk? Can't sleep? Can't sleep? You know? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Christmas is always that time of year when it's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's right, we're in Chicago. What's what's what's
Speaker 1: going on with y'all? What are y'all doing? Well, look
Speaker 1: at this bag of gerbils. We're trying to keep their
Speaker 1: sleeping right now. But that's just because of no, we
Speaker 1: just bought these. We just you guys sneak out of here.
Speaker 1: I don't think they see us. I mean, look, if
Speaker 1: you tell me they're sleeping, they're sleeping. But I mean
Speaker 1: they looked good. I'll shake them a little bit. Wow,
Speaker 1: that was a hard shake, sweet you very very wonder
Speaker 1: them fell out of the bag and it's on the ground.
Speaker 1: I mean they're dead. But did you get a dog, Jim?
Speaker 1: I thought I heard some rustling in the bushes. No dog,
Speaker 1: no dog, no, no, no, just me. Everyone really wants
Speaker 1: you to have a partner. Honey. Guess what, Darrel's dead.
Speaker 1: My wish came true. That's our first see too. Is
Speaker 1: from listener Luca, who wrote, Hey everyone, I've got a
Speaker 1: scene idea backstage at Nicholas Shitspin's iconic sitcom Ships. It's
Speaker 1: not a show about nothing, It's a show about shipping.
Speaker 1: Thanks Luca. Just make sure your cell phones from the back, okay,
Speaker 1: recording Okay, and just um laugh when they tell me
Speaker 1: to laugh or laugh when I feel it in my heart.
Speaker 1: You're laugh laugh when they they tell you a laugh.
Speaker 1: And if you're coming down off of the off of
Speaker 1: the seating and you're gonna stand backstage, just just don't
Speaker 1: just don't make any noise I get. Just stand backstage.
Speaker 1: That's what that passes you. Oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 1: so exciting. I thought, you know, my dad has one line.
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was gonna get all the perks.
Speaker 1: I've been dying to meet Nicholas Shitzman. She's gonna be backstage.
Speaker 1: He has to be, he probably, yeah, but the please
Speaker 1: just don't talk to her. He takes the coolest shits.
Speaker 1: He takes the coolest shit. Yeah, all right, we'll just
Speaker 1: follow the path right here, the yellow line. I'll take
Speaker 1: your backstage. Oh my god, amazing. I wish I had
Speaker 1: friends to share this with. Hi, I'm next. You go great.
Speaker 1: Just put your phone in the sleeve here, Okay, do
Speaker 1: I have to. Um, I thought my past gave me privileges. Well,
Speaker 1: let's see the past right here. Oh yeah, yeah you
Speaker 1: can know, yeah you can. You don't need to put
Speaker 1: in the sleep, just to keep it on silent and
Speaker 1: the volume down. That's it. If you're in the stands,
Speaker 1: please laugh when the title up. And then if you
Speaker 1: know you want to go backstage, just ball the yellow okay, okay, um, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Hey, were you? I'm next as refless to go, right, yep,
Speaker 1: here's a pass. All right, here's to sleep for your phone.
Speaker 1: Oh well, read the past. I have privileges. I'm I
Speaker 1: get to be on the show whatever part I want
Speaker 1: this week. Let me see that. Oh you're right, yeah okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: uh so just um laugh when it's your line to laugh.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'm just gonna cross back through you excuse me. Alright,
Speaker 1: So just follow the green line and uh, I'll take
Speaker 1: you right to the stage and talking to the directors
Speaker 1: and the writing and cast and everyone else. Right, great,
Speaker 1: definitely worth that extra twenty bucks for this past. Hey,
Speaker 1: Nicky Chitz, Uh five minutes, but just I know you
Speaker 1: like five minutes, so it's actually ten minutes. But I
Speaker 1: tell you five minutes, because I know it takes you
Speaker 1: a little bit longer to get ready. You go taking
Speaker 1: a ship? Okay, okay, nicky Um, a couple of things. Um,
Speaker 1: we're getting rid of the second line in the second scene,
Speaker 1: so we're crossing that line out. And also they wanted
Speaker 1: me to tell you that, um, some people are in
Speaker 1: the audience tonight. Okay, I'm taking this ship. Hell yeah, dude, okay,
Speaker 1: so that's five. We needs you on set in five.
Speaker 1: Oh god, excuse me, sir. Yeah yeah, Um have you
Speaker 1: seen Nick nicol? Um? Have you seen my dad? Who's
Speaker 1: your dad? His name is Nicholas Heyworthy. He's playing Janitor.
Speaker 1: Let me see. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in
Speaker 1: He's at She's a nut trailer right there. Okay, do
Speaker 1: I look cool? I'm sorry? Do I look cool? It's
Speaker 1: been a while that I've I've been seen him in
Speaker 1: a while? Yeah, pretty? Yeah? Is this California cool? I'm
Speaker 1: from New Hampshire. Oh. I just kind of came here
Speaker 1: to say to my dad. Oh he doesn't know you're here. No, no,
Speaker 1: and you haven't seen him in a while. Barely looks
Speaker 1: at those that I look like, Yeah, no, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen him in a while, you know, keep looking here
Speaker 1: when I was four to um follow his dreams and
Speaker 1: here he's trailer right there? Can I can I confess
Speaker 1: something to you. I've been acting for thirty years and
Speaker 1: this is my first part on a on a sitcom.
Speaker 1: Oh that's pretty cool. I just bought this pass. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what I'm supposed to say. You're what.
Speaker 1: I bought a pass and then it was like twenty
Speaker 1: bucks more and it says be on the show. So
Speaker 1: I got it. How many how many lines do you have?
Speaker 1: I have no idea, I don't know what I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to say. I don't know what my character is. It
Speaker 1: just says beyond the show. So they sent me to
Speaker 1: send me down this green line. I've just been walking
Speaker 1: on this green line. It just keeps going. Started to interrupt. Um,
Speaker 1: I have some updates here for you. Hey, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 1: You paid the fee? Correct? Yes, yes, I did, great, terrific.
Speaker 1: So your character actually has a name, You're Larry. Take
Speaker 1: a look. So you're in there in the first three
Speaker 1: scenes about even there. Well well done, well done, Pala,
Speaker 1: I got the one line. What was your characters name? Again? Well,
Speaker 1: it's janitor in the script. But I think I think
Speaker 1: his name is is Clarence Tuppets. Okay, I mean that's
Speaker 1: just the backstory that I've worked out, Oh Jenner, quick
Speaker 1: note here. So um, so it's says Nick or actually?
Speaker 1: Is that confusing? If I'm Nick and Nicky Shits is
Speaker 1: also Nick, you can call me hey Worthy. M h
Speaker 1: m hmm. Well you're never actually characters never referenced by
Speaker 1: name either way. So whatever character name you need to
Speaker 1: make yourself uncomfortable, get out of here. That's how I
Speaker 1: was gonna do it. Is that too gruff? Or No?
Speaker 1: That sounds pretty good, except that it's not get out
Speaker 1: of here anymore. It's it's scream scram Okay. So it's
Speaker 1: just the one one the word, the one word update
Speaker 1: on the scripts. Here. We're gonna cut the janitor. We're
Speaker 1: it's gonna cut the janitor. Okay, yeah, what do you
Speaker 1: mean cut? What do oh? That is that the guy
Speaker 1: with a this is one of our writers here? Just okay, okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm scram I'm here actually, So now that we
Speaker 1: have the updated scram out of here, scram out of
Speaker 1: it's not scram anymore. Actually added the line back it is.
Speaker 1: It's get out of here and don't come back anymore.
Speaker 1: But it's not your line, sir. You have it to
Speaker 1: this guy. I'm not the writers. The writers, well just
Speaker 1: don't just don't it if you're the one relating the news.
Speaker 1: I feel back forybody like he can do my part
Speaker 1: with me. We can just do it in unison together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here's here's here's an idea. Here's an idea. Um. You
Speaker 1: see that group puddle up over there around those monitors.
Speaker 1: Those are the writers. Feel free if you want to
Speaker 1: talk to them. I'm sure they'd love to hear your ideas. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: here's my paperwork. By the way. Um, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: sign you out now. Okay, guess alright, So I want
Speaker 1: to be I'm gonna be doing the crowd of the
Speaker 1: crowd warm off you can. NICKI said, this is great.
Speaker 1: Who's the Vanda? And Nicki's me me? Who's who came
Speaker 1: from the farthest Who came from the farthest frois Arizona.
Speaker 1: I came from Burbank, but I flew around the world
Speaker 1: the other way to get here. Are you trying to
Speaker 1: be fucking funny? Huh? What are you trying to be fun.
Speaker 1: Oh I really did keep your as you understand that,
Speaker 1: fucking as alright, visiting friends in New Zealand. This is
Speaker 1: my job, all right, I'm the crowd warm up to you.
Speaker 1: Understand that? Okay, okay, alright from far away. I came
Speaker 1: from Arctic Research Station fifteen at the polls. Really did
Speaker 1: kick your ass. Huh, everybody, Okay, I got this bag.
Speaker 1: I got this bag of pretzels, half bag of pretzels.
Speaker 1: Who wants a bag? Who wants a little bit? I
Speaker 1: wants a pretzel? It's open, Nikki bud ah you Mr five.
Speaker 1: Did you take a ship? Yeah? So we need you.
Speaker 1: Um a sap. We're ready to go. We got a
Speaker 1: nice big house out there tonight. They're excited to see you.
Speaker 1: Um so when you come on up. But Marty, thanks
Speaker 1: for picking me up and getting me the hell out
Speaker 1: of there. Man, I just got a voice recording me
Speaker 1: saying I'm gonna take a ship. I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: do the show anymore. Man. I just feel like it's
Speaker 1: who I am. It's just just not there. Right. I
Speaker 1: was supposed to be an artist. You know you are
Speaker 1: an artist, Nicky. This is your gig. I don't know, Marty,
Speaker 1: but you know what, you can retire on this. You
Speaker 1: could get yourself out of the beach sometime. I do
Speaker 1: you know what happened with me in my acts? Okay,
Speaker 1: we put up. He was just so into himself and
Speaker 1: then I got in a three way with that other
Speaker 1: girl and it just didn't work out. I just was
Speaker 1: handing it like a great time, Nicky. I think of
Speaker 1: that story as a legendary story. Marty. It's not about sex, okay,
Speaker 1: for God's sakes, it's about the substance, all right. You
Speaker 1: know I watched videos about people having sex like you
Speaker 1: described to me. I don't get the problem, NICKI. I
Speaker 1: think you should get back in there and do your set.
Speaker 1: You got talent, you're an artist. It's a it's a sitcom,
Speaker 1: it's not a set, Marty. I appreciate you listening to Uh, sir,
Speaker 1: sir before you leave, Janitor or whatever your your name is. Um.
Speaker 1: I know you're you Clarence stuff and um there, so
Speaker 1: we have to escort you off the lot in just
Speaker 1: a moment. But you do have a guess what um
Speaker 1: you had? You have somebody who didn't. I didn't invite anyone.
Speaker 1: I was gonna make me too nervous. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to say. She's actually at the craft crafty over there,
Speaker 1: she's the one, it looks like kind of she looks
Speaker 1: at California cool. Oh. I did send postcards to every
Speaker 1: casting director in town. Oh, she's right over that crafty.
Speaker 1: But you gotta you gotta keep it quick because we're
Speaker 1: gonna start shooting and we need you escort it. We
Speaker 1: need you off right. I better tell us and Jones
Speaker 1: individually wrapped twizzlers. Keep him fresh? Oh hey, hey, no
Speaker 1: you Um, yes, and I know you, and I just
Speaker 1: want to say I'm not mad at you. I'm actually
Speaker 1: really proud of you for following your dreams coming out
Speaker 1: here and acting. Excuse me, sorry, excuse me. I'm a
Speaker 1: security I'm supposed to take you off the lot. What
Speaker 1: am I interrupting something? Yeah, I'm swing that camera this way.
Speaker 1: Just trust me, Just trust me. Now let's start ruling.
Speaker 1: I know you. You look familiar. Yeah, um, well I should,
Speaker 1: and maybe just a little bit older. It's tradition to
Speaker 1: have your hands behind your back clocked up while we
Speaker 1: do this, so you can continue the conversation. Just being arrested. No,
Speaker 1: you're just being escorted, but it's gonna it's not traditional.
Speaker 1: You sadest. How many times have you've been escorted off
Speaker 1: a lot? Never? I've never been on. It's tradish. Put
Speaker 1: your hands behind your back. But Nicky's gone. I don't
Speaker 1: know where he is. Biggest episodes. Yes, Florence, Yes, I am,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, and are you Florence Pew? Okay, everybody, everybody,
Speaker 1: keep it down, Keep it down. Uh you sir, the
Speaker 1: one who paid the fee. Look, Nicky's gone. We're gonna
Speaker 1: give you all of his lines. We need you on
Speaker 1: right now. Go the rest of us. Just keep this
Speaker 1: conversation down. You would need to bump somebody up to
Speaker 1: take over his parts. If he's gonna take over Nicky's,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Should I unlock him? Lock mesk
Speaker 1: study that's Florence Floren's pew or Florence my daughter pew?
Speaker 1: What do you think? I think the daughter? What do
Speaker 1: you think? Going with the daughter? Okay, let's go to daughter. Okay, okay, no, no,
Speaker 1: you're no, you're in it. You're in it. Okay, female,
Speaker 1: you are now Nikki ships there's a script and there
Speaker 1: you are, daughter. There you go your your lines now
Speaker 1: and go go go, go, go, go go go. You
Speaker 1: took my name? Yeah, uh hey, sorry it took so long.
Speaker 1: I was taking a ship scram out of here. Where
Speaker 1: do you want me to go? Ships? Vil? He's breaking
Speaker 1: free from the cutch. I just wanted you to do
Speaker 1: my homework for me. Man, oh boy, trigonometry talk about
Speaker 1: a lot of shit. Yeah, and I paid you money
Speaker 1: to do it. Hey, crowd, warm up, guy, get this
Speaker 1: audience is to laugh. You need what's going on? I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm doing. I don't know, Dad, help me.
Speaker 1: What's my intent? What do I want from this guy
Speaker 1: in this scene? I guess you just want to connect
Speaker 1: with him. Okay, thank you. You're such a good actor.
Speaker 1: Are you talking to me? I just think that you're
Speaker 1: really good and you know what you're doing. I've actually
Speaker 1: involved me in your footsteps, and I've been doing some
Speaker 1: local theater work. Really it's amazing. Okay, we can't, guys,
Speaker 1: we can't have this conversation. Stick to the script. Script
Speaker 1: the line Nicki's gone, the show is falling apart. To
Speaker 1: be honest, our audience isn't laughing. This is this is
Speaker 1: as security I can be honest, it was that this
Speaker 1: whole thing really relied on Nikki ships. Do you watch
Speaker 1: comedy movies? I mean here at this office, but not
Speaker 1: outside of work. I keep working pleasure separate. So you
Speaker 1: think maybe you could do this? How, yeah, I can
Speaker 1: do this. Nicky Shits isn't talented. He just happens to
Speaker 1: have great writers. Do you really think that security officer?
Speaker 1: What is that? Jim Terry can do this role? Look
Speaker 1: as you can tell, it's been a weird day here.
Speaker 1: I say, let's go let's get let's get Janitor down,
Speaker 1: let's get Flora's the daughter, let's get you fe mane,
Speaker 1: and let's get Jim care of the security officer. And
Speaker 1: I think we should also get the crowd warm up.
Speaker 1: Guy down here, come on, come down here, do come
Speaker 1: down here. I was awful. Well maybe he's better on camera.
Speaker 1: Here we go look at this new alrighty then, and
Speaker 1: that's our section. See three. It's from listeners Simon. He wrote,
Speaker 1: Dear Kevin, I just moved from New York to Colorado
Speaker 1: and alchemy. This got me through the twix hour drive.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for the amazing pocket. That's a lot
Speaker 1: of podcast to listen to. My suggestion comes from my
Speaker 1: driving experience passing by oddly specific museums, including the sod
Speaker 1: House Museum. Seen suggestion permit office from museums, order up, Simon.
Speaker 1: All right, we've got all of the permits stacked up here,
Speaker 1: but nobody seems to be applying for museums anymore. Maybe
Speaker 1: museums are just a thing of the past because of
Speaker 1: the Internet. Ah, hello, I have an appointment, an appointment.
Speaker 1: Let me look through my book. I didn't. I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting that. Okay, okay, there you are. You must be
Speaker 1: Brian's Yes, Hi, Brian, here's a Have you filled out
Speaker 1: a permit for him yet? I actually have? Ye? Oh
Speaker 1: you're so responsible. It was easy. I just printed it
Speaker 1: online and Internet. I wish it didn't exist. Okay, so
Speaker 1: it does look like you filled this all out correctly.
Speaker 1: And I wrought to check out to the permit office
Speaker 1: for Sarise. We've got a check sharise, come up here.
Speaker 1: We're gonna stay open, all right. So you want to
Speaker 1: start a museum on start a museum on uh, pornography.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's uh. I don't think that's appropriate pornography.
Speaker 1: You mean, I assume nudity. Yeah, that's part of it.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think Sureie Shreise, could you come
Speaker 1: up here? Yeah? Sorry, I was climbing all the stairs. Sorry,
Speaker 1: Mr Kettlewell, we've got an applicant and here's the check
Speaker 1: for his, uh, for his to check to see if
Speaker 1: we approve it. But it's not approved. But take the
Speaker 1: check quick, quick money, big money. But be honest, do
Speaker 1: you think that we could take up Museum of Pornography? Parno?
Speaker 1: What you shortened it? By the way, there seems to
Speaker 1: be a line for me about Oh there's more people, Charisse.
Speaker 1: We might not have to close after all, to close
Speaker 1: the permit office for museums, because no one was trying
Speaker 1: to open up museums on the internet. Everybody can just
Speaker 1: look up what they want to learn on the internet,
Speaker 1: but I guess they don't have that for pornography. Just
Speaker 1: want it's not Wow, this place is amazing. Oh look
Speaker 1: it's the dick from anal Barbara's twelve. Whoa, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: They don't touch that. Keep on the line. Sorry, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, this is insane, it's crazy. Oh my gosh. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I want to sneak a selfie. Make it look like
Speaker 1: I'm fleeting it. You can't put your mouth on that.
Speaker 1: Sorry I put it. It looked like it was touching it.
Speaker 1: I mean I can only dream. Excuse me, sir me?
Speaker 1: Uh huh what I just said a question? Um, is
Speaker 1: there any way to meet the porno stars here? Meet
Speaker 1: the porno stars? Uh? Huh? Do you want to meet
Speaker 1: in common when you go to the Field Museum? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I'm sorry. You probably do want to,
Speaker 1: but you can't. The porn the porno stars aren't here.
Speaker 1: These are just memorabilia. These are artifacts from the events
Speaker 1: are here. Let's see a lot of people walking around
Speaker 1: with trench coats and hats on. Oh my god, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, who is this? Might recognize me? Hold on,
Speaker 1: take my pants down. It's long slongh on. Oh, it's
Speaker 1: just part of the exhibit. Huge, huge fans. I mean
Speaker 1: those scenes you did with tiny Box Rachel, I mean
Speaker 1: that was really weird but amazing. We're I don't even know.
Speaker 1: I fun fact, her box wasn't even that tiny. Hey hey, hey, folks,
Speaker 1: I couldn't help, but notice you're at the back of
Speaker 1: the line for this, uh for this permit? Uh that
Speaker 1: the odds of getting your permit today are are pretty low.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of a lot of folks in front
Speaker 1: of you. Uh So I was wondering if I have
Speaker 1: a space that recently opened up, uh that that is
Speaker 1: available to maybe put a museum. Man. Okay, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I got what I got. I hoped you. I hooked
Speaker 1: Jim Joey Garbles by the way us from the commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that I've moved on. I've moved on that that makeup
Speaker 1: on the commercial holy ship. Yeah, it's a lot. It's
Speaker 1: a lot, isn't it. But this is my real face,
Speaker 1: without the without the clown makeup on. Anyway, I got
Speaker 1: destroyed by lampsters, destroyed, destroyed by lambsters. And I've got
Speaker 1: a a three thousand foot retail space that that is available,
Speaker 1: uh for for maybe for maybe a museum. And I
Speaker 1: wouldn't ask you to get a permit. I wouldn't ask
Speaker 1: you to get a firm really. Yeah, what's what's your
Speaker 1: museum about? Just? Uh flakes of human skin? So um
Speaker 1: you sick? Fuck it was sick fuck? No thanks kicking, sir, sir,
Speaker 1: you're toward the back of the line. The odds of
Speaker 1: getting in today are pretty slim. I'm Joey Garbel's from
Speaker 1: the commercials. I gotta I gotta retail space that that
Speaker 1: it needs a tenant now, and I wouldn't ask you
Speaker 1: to to get the permit that that this government regulation.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm interested, I'm interested. Okay, what what's your museum.
Speaker 1: It's a gym Carey museum. Uh huh. It's devoted to
Speaker 1: a devoted to his dramatic work. I'm assuming that will
Speaker 1: be part of it. That'll be the serious annex wing,
Speaker 1: but it'll be mostly his comedies, his his appearances on
Speaker 1: talk shows when opinions on vaccinations is beer. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be great. You know. I'm gonna be charging fifty grand
Speaker 1: a month for the space, so it's probably out of
Speaker 1: your price range. And we're gonna get a pornography museum.
Speaker 1: So you can go back to the back of the line, sir,
Speaker 1: you're out of here. Well, some something just happened something.
Speaker 1: Let's say, how was your day, grandpa. You look like
Speaker 1: you got a lot of exercise, and I like that. Well,
Speaker 1: there was a lot of action at the permit permit
Speaker 1: shop today. You're trying to get another permit I love that.
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. But would you believe somebody wanted to open
Speaker 1: a pornography museum? I told them no, So thank god
Speaker 1: that will never open up. We got to keep the
Speaker 1: streets clean, sweetheart, Your grandpa is a hero sure, and
Speaker 1: and and my hero grandpa still has a very large
Speaker 1: bank account, right, like, not getting giving that permit didn't
Speaker 1: really well. The good news is is our our business
Speaker 1: plan means people paid to apply. That doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: they get the permit. I mean, I don't want to
Speaker 1: sound evil, but that's the way it works. And I'm
Speaker 1: not counting your money. I just was worried aboutn't expect.
Speaker 1: So you probably are most excited to one day take
Speaker 1: over the permit office, right did you believe if I
Speaker 1: gave a permit to a man for human flicks of
Speaker 1: skin today, but not the pornos? Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: did you know that pornography? I'm sorry, So we're gonna
Speaker 1: have to close down your storefront. I mean there's nothing inside,
Speaker 1: you have no rent coming in. I'm sorry, that's just
Speaker 1: uh huh? And and who are you? Who are you
Speaker 1: to say so? I just aren't for the city, sir. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just giving you the news. I'm just giving you
Speaker 1: the news. All right, hold it right there, part of me.
Speaker 1: Hi when Larry, I don't know Larry Lambster. Here's my
Speaker 1: business card, Oh my god, from Hamster Lambsters. I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you, Mr g. You know when I
Speaker 1: bought one of these, all the hamsters were dead. All right,
Speaker 1: when I bought that, the hamsters were dead. You just
Speaker 1: want me to know that I do. Okay, Yeah, A
Speaker 1: lot of people had that problem. Listen, Gebel, I like you, Gebels,
Speaker 1: I like you g a lot. Today's your lucky day.
Speaker 1: I want to help you out. No, no way, Lambster
Speaker 1: is your Christian name. By the way, it changed. It
Speaker 1: changed in after it came up with a product that's
Speaker 1: neither here nor there. This this briefcase full of money,
Speaker 1: says I can call myself whatever I want, and I
Speaker 1: want to give this to you verbals because you're a
Speaker 1: good person. You're a decent person. I mean, the Girbles
Speaker 1: traditionally weren't a good good family. I spell it differently.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, Sarah, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a perfect SCOREMT s A T. So I
Speaker 1: can go there and probably get a full ride. But
Speaker 1: after college, you know, I just I don't want to work.
Speaker 1: M hm. You know, I want to have fun at college,
Speaker 1: but afterwards I just kind of don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't really think about right that that right now
Speaker 1: at the wake, it's just so crazy that he died,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, right, that's crazy, eat super crazy.
Speaker 1: The problem is it's bringing up a lot of he
Speaker 1: hasn't been at school at all. Oh, for real, he's
Speaker 1: thatch I know. God, I mean, hey, kids, friends, face
Speaker 1: for me to me at the part of museum. Now listen,
Speaker 1: we all know what happened that night, okay, and it's
Speaker 1: our secret, and we got to live with that for
Speaker 1: the rest of our lives. You know, my parents came home,
Speaker 1: they weren't dead. Everything I fucked up that night. But
Speaker 1: I just want to make a pact with you here
Speaker 1: in front of this exhibit that we don't say anything forever. Okay.
Speaker 1: That means if you go away to Yale, you don't
Speaker 1: say anything. It means if one day you become a
Speaker 1: security guard, you don't say anything. That means if one
Speaker 1: day you want to open up, it's just the permit office. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to show it down. Apparently permit was
Speaker 1: given up in a pornography. Are you okay, Harold? Is
Speaker 1: it your heart again? It might be my heart? Look
Speaker 1: at me, Harold, look at me. I gotta get this out.
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta say my thing and then we
Speaker 1: can get up. But we gotta shut it down. And
Speaker 1: we got before they say the three is the killer.
Speaker 1: Come on, I got a coup heart attacks too. You
Speaker 1: want me to stop? Wait? This is important something wait
Speaker 1: before you go wait. I want to tell him something.
Speaker 1: I didn't give that permit out. I said, no, what
Speaker 1: that must be a black market permit. My granddaughter? Wow,
Speaker 1: it's a vial of water from the pond thing and
Speaker 1: the Truman show. This is so cool? Ship is that
Speaker 1: the number twenty three? From the number twenty three? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is sick. Get a photo with it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna touch the
Speaker 1: Tony three. Kay. Security is so much more lax here
Speaker 1: than the other museums. You know, hey, fellows, do you
Speaker 1: guys like Jim Carrey? That means you probably like comedy
Speaker 1: in general. Huh? All right, check this out. I got
Speaker 1: two free passes to see NICKI shits tonight. What he's
Speaker 1: doing secret underground set tonight and tonight only. And I
Speaker 1: only can give these two super fans of comedy these tickets.
Speaker 1: Look like they just I mean, he looks like you
Speaker 1: just wrote this on a piece of paper. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: how underground it is, okay, I mean no one seen
Speaker 1: him says he walked off his sitcom six months ago.
Speaker 1: This would amazing, This is amazing. All right, I'll leave
Speaker 1: you guys there. I'll see you tonight six pm. You
Speaker 1: bet man, there's no way this isn't true. What do
Speaker 1: you mean? My grandfather didn't leave me any money. He
Speaker 1: just left me lifetime passes to the w B lot.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's just all the record show, just to
Speaker 1: watch whatever sitcoms I want. Yes, I didn't even watch
Speaker 1: your thing. I didn't even know it was a thing. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: he had money for me. He had money for me
Speaker 1: because he didn't he didn't ever want me to work.
Speaker 1: The City has acquired his finances, so thank you. There's
Speaker 1: a line. Please, what is that? I don't even know
Speaker 1: what that like? The city? Do you even be a
Speaker 1: lot of attitude? And I'm grieving. Okay, I'm working. There's
Speaker 1: I'm next, I'm next, Thank you. Hi, my grandmother died.
Speaker 1: Let's see what she left me? Okayst here? Okay, do
Speaker 1: you have a proof of grammarship? Mm? Hm? You have
Speaker 1: any cookeys there? Any you can see my cheek right here?
Speaker 1: It's a little red. Even pinched my cheek, my whole life. Well,
Speaker 1: you just do pinch it right then? Okay, okay, let
Speaker 1: me let okay, it's a little red. Yeah, okay, thank
Speaker 1: you there. Oh great, Okay, she left you a two
Speaker 1: story estate right outside Philadelphia, Penmore. Okay. Address yes, six
Speaker 1: four sixteen Ashton Road, Ashton Road, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Yeah, seven
Speaker 1: four nine three nine. Phone number is six for six six.
Speaker 1: I'm next. Sorry, I just had to there's a long hallway.
Speaker 1: So what did um? What did? What? Did he leave
Speaker 1: me something or something? I didn't expect to be in
Speaker 1: the wheel or anything like that. I just kind of
Speaker 1: worked for him. Let me see here, Arnie Davis, Charlie David's.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of my intuition. I just like PLoP
Speaker 1: my finger on your name. I don't even know it,
Speaker 1: I just it. They just summoned the intended to be
Speaker 1: a bouquet salesman and served me, we have to do that,
Speaker 1: We have to do that. It's actually a scary job,
Speaker 1: um because most of his finances, if not all of them,
Speaker 1: have been acquired by the city. But he did, he
Speaker 1: was able to leave this to here. It's um. It's
Speaker 1: a golden permit. It's a four inch thick, six inch
Speaker 1: wide golden It's huge. It's just pure gold. Do you
Speaker 1: want to take that? How much do you think that
Speaker 1: this is worth? I have no idea. I just I
Speaker 1: mean if I had a guest to three billion dollars. Again,
Speaker 1: all right, thanks everybody for coming out to this very
Speaker 1: secretive performance. Snappy fingers if you're in a good mood. Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Now he's been on for a while, but he's been
Speaker 1: in the lab, so to speak, cooking up some funny
Speaker 1: it's just for you. Now. We don't have long because
Speaker 1: we are squatting here in this warehouse. But he's gonna
Speaker 1: do his set as best he can. Make some noise
Speaker 1: for the one the only Nicholas ships man. All right, okay, everybody,
Speaker 1: that's not that's not Niki shit, It's not Nicky shit.
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh god, Oh yeah, who wants a mega
Speaker 1: prencils that's his warm up guy, So good, don't show.
Speaker 1: Let's meet everybody, see what they're up to. Jackie and
Speaker 1: dullast or Earthy. Hey Cole, thanks to have me. What
Speaker 1: a good time. I love this, this troop, this crew
Speaker 1: of peeps. Um, you know me, you know me. I'm
Speaker 1: watching and talking all about Christmas movies all the time.
Speaker 1: So you can check it out on the most Wonderful
Speaker 1: Pot of the Year. That's that's where you can find
Speaker 1: me and Jackie Ruthy on Instagram moved as well. Nice Alvarado.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Cole. It's fun to play with you and
Speaker 1: everybody has always you know, last week I got to
Speaker 1: do a show at the West Side Comedy Theater. Those
Speaker 1: are starting to pick back up, So if you are
Speaker 1: in the Santa Monica area, or I guess just in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, come check out a show. Um. The improv
Speaker 1: shows are typically Monday nights. You can go to west
Speaker 1: Side Comedy dot com to see when I'm playing when
Speaker 1: other people on this in this podcast are playing. Actually, Cole,
Speaker 1: I saw you there on Monday as well. Yeah, cob
Speaker 1: last night, Hey day, I'm sure Bear supply be making
Speaker 1: a pretty pretty pony YEA check check that out Westside
Speaker 1: Comedy dot Com. Nice Craigatkowski. I gotta say if from
Speaker 1: the from the second scene, uh, Canonically, Jim Carey received
Speaker 1: his first acting role, being promoted from security guard to
Speaker 1: a walk on part in the Nikki Shit sitcom. Then
Speaker 1: six months later, after Nicky Shits had walked off his sitcom,
Speaker 1: there was a full devoted Jim Carey Museum dedicated to
Speaker 1: all the movies and television shows he had shot in
Speaker 1: that six month period. So this is now canonically true
Speaker 1: in the world of Alchemy this from now on, and
Speaker 1: I recommend the documentary Jim and Andy the Great Beyond
Speaker 1: if you want to see a little more about Jim
Speaker 1: Carey's working process as a as a serious method actor.
Speaker 1: Great and go ahead and change his Wikipedia page to
Speaker 1: reflect everything you jaf Ceney. Well, I'm so excited to
Speaker 1: be finishing another episode of Alchemy this if you like
Speaker 1: to join us on November it's our live hang. It
Speaker 1: will be our Thanksgiving style live hang. It's the last
Speaker 1: Saturday of every month at ten am Pacific Standard time.
Speaker 1: Twitch dot tv Slash Alchemy this nice, Joey Greare, I
Speaker 1: can't I said, I wanted to say it again. Get
Speaker 1: the soup, Get soup. That's that's that. That's all I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say. You can't say anymore legally. Yell, we understand.
Speaker 1: I'm at Cole Strander at Stratton Cole On Socials SF
Speaker 1: sketch Fest dot com twenty anniversary festival in January, the
Speaker 1: seventh coming back. We're optimistic everything will go okay because
Speaker 1: you know, the world is still a bit of a
Speaker 1: dumpster fire. Our line up comes out November nineteenth, so
Speaker 1: head on over there then to take us one uh
Speaker 1: some podcast called Alchemy This will probably be part of
Speaker 1: the lineup. Check out that day and come see us
Speaker 1: live in San Francisco. Gang. Let's thank our engineering producer
Speaker 1: Doug Bay and the fine folks at I heeart Media
Speaker 1: dot com. Please write to us at Alchemy this email
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That'scom until next time.